#i guess i only now realized
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just woke up from an accidental nap to yelling and oh my GOD did my ptsd put me up those stairs at the speed of light
#i guess i only now realized#how calm it's been#and how hostile it used to be#anyway#it's been like 15 minutes#and my heart is still pounding#ghjd#not mlm#dantes talking again
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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When your boyrfren is a morning person.
(Idk if Connie's not a morning person, but it'd be funny if she isn't.)
Connie doodles (and a Steven!)
#When you wake up already feeling tired 😭#Steven gave her a new blade again.#Pretty knife = Happy wife#Oh my gosh I actually finished a commission today. I;m behind again I only got six hours to draw this week TT-TT But at least I can#sleep early tonight I can finally catch up with my sleep hours#Lol I just realized Connie's new clothes make her look like an overachieving nerd XD#Imagine if she still wears her big round nerd glasses. 'Erm actually it's a [insert what specifically the type of dagger she has now]☝🤓#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#Ah nerdcore fashion young adult Connie would be amazing 🤩 . I already headcanon she'd be a more scruffy one tho. 🤔 Guess#that's another alternative style to go off of 🤷♀️#Steven Universe#He gonna hit her up with the 'Hello morning glory! ☀️🥰😘🥰💕' and Connie be looking like a nest#SU#my shiz#animated gif
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sy13 | sneak peek. a long one, kinda :)))
You could see the torment in his eyes as he looked at Sachiro, the helplessness of a father who could do nothing but watch. You just couldn’t bear the silence any longer, so you finally spoke. “Satoru… just go home.”
He froze at the sound of your voice, as if caught off guard, but quickly shook his head and wrapped your belly under a warm blanket. “Did I wake you up?”
“I can look after Sachi by myself,” you urged, disregarding his question. “You need to rest.”
But again, he refused. “No.”
“But—”
You opened your mouth to speak again, to reason with him, but before you could, Satoru’s voice cut through the air, breaking in a way you had never heard before. “Y/N, let me be a father to my kids… Please.” His voice cracked, the raw emotion spilling out as he looked at the ceiling with somber, tearful eyes. It was the heartbreak in his voice that made you realize that you were the only family Satoru had left. And it was the tremor in his hands that made you see through the trauma he had developed after he was led to believe for three years that his son had never existed. In a way, you felt responsible for the pain you had caused him, too. “Just please let me love you and our babies. Don’t take them away from me.”
For a moment, silence became your friend. Yet, the quiet that enveloped the room was more of a tender moment suspended in time as you let Satoru embrace you in his arms. You both remained there, connected by the warmth of his hand over yours, and the gentle rise and fall of his breath. He caressed your belly as if you were going to take his baby away—that if he closed his eyes, even for a second, he would wake up to see his unborn child gone.
But then, a soft knock on the door shattered the stillness. Satoru’s grip on your hand loosened as the nurse poked her head into the room with an apologetic expression on display.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt, Mr. and Mrs. Gojou,” she began, her voice quiet and gentle, “but you have a visitor.” Satoru’s brows furrowed slightly, but before he could ask, the nurse continued, “Her name is Akemi.”
At the mention of her name, he immediately sat up, his body tense as he instinctively prepared to stand. You felt the shift in his demeanor, the way his hand slipped from yours as he moved to the edge of the bed. You stayed still for a minute, processing the sudden change, and your heart sinking at the thought of yet another intrusion by her.
You took a deep breath as you began to pull away, already bracing yourself for what was to come, and for the inevitable exit he would make. Like always. Choosing another woman over you. Choosing another woman over his own child. Of course, that’s what he’s about to do, right? You started to gather the strength to let him go, to retreat back into your thoughts, until the nurse spoke again.
“Actually,” she said, her eyes flicking between you both, “Miss Akemi wants to see you, Miss Y/N… not Mr. Gojou.”
#series: sincerely yours#im just now realizing that theres only 3 chapters left to this series *sobs*#will i actually end this series#or will this series end me first#i guess we'll never know#jk jk of course#it's gonna end soon
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not to bring up ""the discourse carousel"" again, but it is pretty funny how almost every time someone from the transandrophobia crowd gets mad at me, they talk about trans men as a group of people that i'm implied not to be a part of. and, okay, maybe it wasn't obvious or clear to some, but i am a trans man myself, yeah? it certainly doesn't make me an authority on anything, but it is as much my place to speak on this as any other trans dude. so stop being patronizing and trying to shut me up. and if you're excluding me from "the guys" just because i'm not joining in on villainizing trans women with you, then your idea of trans men that "count" hinges on transmisogyny, which is not surprising at all, but like. stop this shit
#literally making me feel like i'm back in middle school with that “oh you're not mean to girls so you're not one of us then” stuff. i guess#some guys never let go of it and others maybe only got around to it after realizing they are trans but either way. fucking get over it#aaand now back to our regularly scheduled programming
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Wardrobe Woes
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Yes: there are people who read these comics who don't know much about mdzs. Several are my beloved and supportive friends B'*)#This comic in particular is one that I've been thinking about for a very long time and I'm so happy to finally be here!#I was trying to think about how to explain the social rules of the forehead ribbon and the reason lwj was so upset#and the metaphor of 'it's kind of like wwx accidently undoing lwj's bikini in front of a crowd.' came to mind.#of course there's a bit more to it than that but the point here is that - accident or not - it still embarrasses lwj#wwx doesn't get the entire context behind it (at the time. Now he *does* and it all makes a bit more sense)#But he knows he made lwj upset. He knows he doesn't want to put lwj in another embarrassing situation.#Not after all this. Not after everything. Not after realizing that his desire for friendship might be the kind of desire that ruins lan zha#Love the symbolism of the archery outfits being red during this moment of 'whoops only married couples can do that' moment.#What if we accidental proposed............accidental marriage....accidental kiss the bridegroom....accidental fall in love.#Guess we did inadvertently get the puffy sleeves and bikini outfits in the end.#wwx in an old timey bathing suit is so important to me. I'll die on this hill.#lwj's cute little box is inspired by @lazycranberrydoodles's cute fan art <3 I love it a lot
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does anyone else get really sad thinking about charles breaking his cricket bat and not even really acknowledging it because it's to save edwin. or is it just me.
#that cricket bat was his only protector for so long#but now it's not#he has edwin#and that sword i guess#it still makes me really sad that it's gone#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dbda#dead boy detectives spoilers#charles rowland#edwin payne#edited because i realized i said even when he was alive instead of when he was alive#because he's had edwin since the moment he died#and he used that cricket bat to protect EDWIN#since it protected charles for so long
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#yeah i don't know why they're looking at you like that. but it's such a palpable reaction image‚ isn't it#houndoom#only just now realizing all the demon aesthetics on this guy. the horns‚ the pointy tail…#i guess it is a dark and fire type after all. literally like. the whole aesthetic that i totally missed
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CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.
[youtube with closed captions]
a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.
#spn#vid#spnamvarchive#so fun fact i started making this more than a year ago. got it 90% done. and then was like no this isn't working#i will come back to this later.#it turns out that i needed to make some videos about cas and angels (the love club + help i'm alive amvs)#in order to make this one. anyway this video is about french mistake robert singer voice season six#i really struggled with it because i could NOT find the thread until i realized that it needed to be literally godstiel pov#it's about love and desire and jealousy and hurt and omnidirectional rage <3#it's about the fact that cas is so utterly dependent on dean for his self-image - however dean sees him that's it#it's about having a moment of reflection about lashing out before you do it but doing it anyway#it's about taking cruelty and dishing it out#and crucially. it's about being pregnant#mpregpocalypse#fun fact: i made a post about working on three season six amvs all the way back in nov. 2022#and only now have they come to fruition (this one + love club + metric)#anyway. have you heard that cas is obsessed#the thing is i do kinda want to add some specific director's commentary here. like the first verse is about cas being like.#incredibly deeply emotionally vulnerable to dean. as in: his emotional state and self-image is totally dominated by what dean thinks of him#and if dean is mad at him. and then the second verse is about... dean upsetting him and him responding to that by Killing Everybody lol#like he has a moment of reflection ['certain regrettable things are now required of me' + killing rachel] where he's like i've 1) also done#bad things and 2) i feel bad about it so maybe i will regret Killing Everyone. but then he does it anyway due to everybody keeps turning#on him. i feel like the rest of the amv is self evident. i guess i should note that 'share a paradise' is about how both of them have#a nostalgic view of the early days of their relationship when it wasn't Like This lol. but everything else i think is self evident.#oh and the reason the other angels flash onscreen with their burned wings at the end is i'm EVOKING the image of cas' wings burning. even#though it doesn't happen. i'm evoking it
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He's just a silly lil man, nothing weird about him
#slowly going through an art block#for some reason the only thing i can draw is Leander#just realized he has been holding me on a choke hold for exactly a month now#happy 1 month anniversary to my unhealthy obsession with Touchstarved and Leander i guess lol#maw's art#mawrrbid's artwork#touchstarved#touchstarved game#touchstarved fanart#touchstarved leander#leander
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When even a Fury’s strength may wane
#hakuouki#sanchi#sannan keisuke#yukimura chizuru#hakuouki art#my art#so#the bad ending after the fushimi inari shrine when heisuke hands chizuru sannan’s glasses a saying there was no body#am I the only who thought kodo had kidnapped him to turn him into an experiment since he’s the first sane fury?#because only now years later do I realize they were implying he crumbled into dust—hence no body o.O#bc damn it I had an internal argument abt how fucked up it was that sannan was probably even worse off than the first gen furies#if kodo had him at his mercy and the shinsengumi didn’t even launch a rescue#and then the thousand plot bunnies that never made it out of the meadow#where chizuru DOESNT get on the ship to edo and instead remains behind to hunt down her father and save sannan#idk#i guess I just didn’t register the fact that furies CRUMBLED INTO DUST and LEAVE NO REMAINS#I feel like an idiot now#still like my misinterpretation better tho
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I try to generally be constructive and engaged with the show I love on here, so on this day, I’ll just say that one of the most thematically important aspects for me from the original ATLA is Aang’s emotional core of real shame for running away when he was hurt by the monk’s decision to send him away. People who feel the kind of deep-seated shame that Aang feels from this decision can understand how that kind of all-encompassing shame is not built around a simple failure or a lie they tell themselves; it’s constructed from real misbehaviors and transgressions of their own sense of ethics—lashing out, telling lies, attempting to hurt others intentionally—that then have consequences (abuses, abandonments, or deaths) which seem to far exceed their expectations or even basic logic.
The combination of the misbehavior with exaggerated existential punishments (along with a lack of support and amend-making in the immediate wake of the events) is what transforms a sense of guilt (I fucked up) into shame (I am a forever fuck-up). Then shame, that sense of being a secret monster ‘no matter what I do or how good everyone thinks I am,’ invites all the avoidance strategies (Aang puts on big smiles, makes lots of jokes, constantly tries to make everyone happy, hops from town to town without building deeper connections). One doesn’t want to acknowledge one’s true feelings or let others in to see those feelings and experiences because it’s too painful to face the grief at the same time that you have to look at yourself for being responsible—even when you recognize it wasn’t totally your fault. It’s just that if you had just been good, less emotional, less human, then maybe the world wouldn’t be so messed up. Of course, in a zen view of things, the world will always be messed up in the same way it will always be beautiful. These are constant facts that always coexist in balance, and this is the truth that Aang learns and that undergirds the whole series.
So I always loved that Aang ran away. It was his sin and his salvation. And it becomes this constant tension for the series—he gets hurt in Bato of the Water Tribe and starts to run away from Katara and Sokka, he runs away to the Guru in the Crossroads of Destiny and his best friend is attacked, he and the gaang retreat after the Day of the Black Sun failure, he runs away to meditation in Sozin’s Comet when everyone wants him preparing for war. Aang’s reluctance to be a hero and the attachments and petulance for which he gets criticized are what metamorphasize to become his most noble attributes. They allow him to empathize with others shame and, ultimately, wield the kind of compassion that can deconstruct the power and perfectionism of imperialism.
So yes, Aang ran away from his temple 100 years ago. It wasn’t the mentally healthy choice. It wasn’t the ethical choice. It wasn’t the wise choice. It was human and emotional and shameful and real. Aang is a better character for it. ATLA is a better show because of it. And we are better people when we understand these kind of tragic emotional experiences that people are trying so hard to grow through.
#aanglove#vague posting about the nf adaptation lol#I won’t go off in my posts but I will in my comments#only 17 minutes in tbh#and already amazed at realizing how cool it was that the of series wasn’t told in a linear style lol#I do think the casting department went off for the nf series tho#the kid playing aang is so perf#and all the actors fit their parts so well#but the show doesn’t understand or seem interested in depicting colonial violence at alllll#and the language of the fire nation wanting to ‘take over the world’ is so much more marvel than a colonial rhetoric#and then aang just wanting to ‘go get some air’ to clear his head…😑#we aren’t allowed to have problematic protagonists anymore I guess#only people with perfect mental health strategies allowed in young adult fiction#because we view fiction from a moralistic standpoint now instead of an empathetic one#but 🤷🏻♀️
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Finished themmm
Accidentally
I planned on going to bed early as a celebration, but then I looked at my unfinished pf of Siffrin in the sketchbook and boom couple of hours of sketching, lining and coloring and the beans are now officially paper figured
I can now randomly take photos of them in a forest whenever I feel like it. I have couple pfs on me every day just in case of this happening
#fanart#my art#paper figures#isat#isat siffrin#isat loop#siffrin#loop#in stars and time#Are you ready for me to break it to you? No?#That scene on the laptop? A screenshot#It is a recent one tho#I replayed that hangout just before finishing act 3 for the achievement that required act 4#But I did pretty much play like that#God just thinking about my first playthrough try on this fills me with anxiety#I was so scared it would be the only time they get to talk before actually playing through the game normally#Preparing for bed found me two coins I guess those two really are coin magnets#I actually did Siffrin's hat at least at line-color but I'm still figuring out how to get them to wear it#I THINK I have an idea tho#But anyway#it's 3:30 am#They're also so tiny#Like I worried they'd be too big so now they're pretty average-small next to my last ones#Drawing pf of Loop was actually a really random idea and getting them to mirror Siffrin's pose wasn't hard to think of#I don't usually draw characters facing the other way tho it was weird#The funniest thing was me forgetting Siffrin's eyepatch until the very end while being perfectly aware of making Loop's eyes different colo#That moment of realization was funny just as much as terrifying
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💢repressing compulsion💢
#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#fanart#capcom#i initially drew this as a vent as my job has been exasperating my mental illness but of course i still have to be professional#but then i realized it is very reminiscent of defendant freakouts so happy accident i guess?#the only scenario in which i think miles would express these feelings is directly before his 'faked' su*c*de attempt#which is a whole other discussion too i firmly believe that he Attempted and Failed and upon failing still needed desperately to#get the hell away from where he was.....#i think phoenix uncovering the reality of the dl-6 incident is an incredibly remarkable and world changing event for him#something about self ordained guilt to cope with grief because if i don't blame myself where can i possibly put all of this..?#completely shifts his perspective on himself#and the person he wants to be moving forward#so much rambling i'll stop for now#but yeah expect more ace attorney#God.#IT'S SO OVER FOR ME!
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what if we two tiny little guys….. and i gave you a tiny little kiss
#i realized only AFTER i’d finished coloring. THAT I SOMEHOW FORGOT Q’S SHORTS????#so just ignore that i guess pretend it was on purpose and this is his design now#doodles#qsmp#spiderduck
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forgive me if you've been asked this before or if its annoying, but how did you learn to use colored pencils like that? your art is so special to me.
ty :) I took an art class for a few years where our teacher had us buy prismacolor pencils as one of the art supplies and had us use them kinda like paints, pressing down hard right away and blending the colors together. its not how youre supposed to use them she was just trying to teach us to use color and ig this was more to the point. I picked them up again years after i stopped going to that class just bc they were there and i wanted to play around w them a bit and ended up actually enjoying it when doing it on my own terms lol
#it was a weird class#it was just this russian lady doing private lessons in her house that my mom learned about somehow#I did NOT like those classes all we did was still life and they were hours long which is esp rough when im in high school and busy#and she wanted us to stand while working the whole time bc tradition i guess?#she did allow me to work sitting but thought i was lazy for it. idk dude i dont want to exhaust myself fast for no reason#standing is a lot more tiring than walking#i def did still benefit from those classes just from learning to accurately draw from life#did not like the teacher tho#on one hand shed paid for the art supplies for kids whos families were too poor to (and these are nice expensive supplies)#which is very nice#but on the other she was very homophobic and open about it#like when they legalized gay marriage she went on a rant about how horrible it is that they can adopt kids now#and also kind of racist#she was telling me how she got blocked from a facebook group bc she made a post asking if she could speak to a white person#and she didnt realize she was posting that publicly she thought it was a private message to the group owner#im honestly still not sure i heard/understood her correctly bc it was so bizzare and the only time i ever remember her being racist#she talked abt it like she genuienly was unaware it was racist#she described it as a misunderstanding bc she accidentally posted it publicly instead of privately#like it wouldnt have been racist to ask that at all#also one time she talked about how she saw demons in her home once#also she doesnt vaccinate her kids bc of microchips#she was like a walking russian stereotype lol#anyway heres some ink the artist lore
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