#i guess i forgot how much this story meant to me and how emotional it makes me

[creedslove]

I am in such a Javier Peña mood because of that mf Pedro Pascal and his mustache and I read again some chapters of my Deserve It story and I am literally in tears because it was such a beautiful story and it was such a lovely and special experience to have written it and omg I got tears running down my face why I'm not Javier Peña's wife I'm gonna kms because of that

[kichiyosh1]

An eternity with you: I'll choose you time and time again

Wanderer x fem!reader

You always seem to find your way back to him. What a troublesome being you are. Fortunately for you, he wouldn't be able to stop you either way. You're the one he chose, after all.

Crazy plot twist that will leave you baffled🫨(but i think i made way to obvious lol)

"What's that?"

You always noticed the charm wanderer had next to his Anemo Vision. It was in the shape of a Sumeru rose, a vibrant chrysalis purple that, when caught in the light, would shine like the glowing bioluminescent beaches of Tatarasuna.

"Someone... gave it to me." For a moment, you could see the nostalgic expression on his face as he caressed the precious gem. It's an emotion so rare for him to display that you're unsure if you should be amazed by this new expression or perhaps a bit uneasy. It's rare for anything to capture the wanderer's attention, and if you were to assume how much that charm meant to him then

"This someone must be special," you subconsciously averted your gaze, but the wanderer was quick to pick up on it. He adorned a sly smirk on his face before it quickly turned to one of amusement. He let out a small chuckle before his eyes began to soften.

You sure like to poke around in my past, don't you?" He sighed, unsure where to start from there, but he's determined to convey his feelings.

"This person showed me the true meaning of eternity, something my creator was always so obsessed with. She was able to give it meaning to me with just her simple existence. It'd be an understatement if I wasn't just a little bit fond of this person."

You regretted asking. The look of bliss and admiration on his face made you feel like the most insignificant thing in the world right now, next to his special someone.

"Where is this person? Is she still around? Are you searching for her?"

"I'm... not exactly actively seeking her out right now."

"Do you keep the charm to remember her?" at that he simply looked to the side, a sheepish expression on his face before he went back to neutral.

"I've never forgotten her. She was the one who forgot me. We've crossed paths but she has no memory of me. She can't even recall the time she gifted me this charm."

He said it with such a casual tone that it left you feeling appalled.

How could she?!

You no longer regretted asking, only feeling indignation for what he's suffered through.

"Wanderer..." you put both hands on his shoulders, startling him in the process. You were too caught up in the moment to even notice the creeping tint of red on his face.

"What are you—"

"Please forget about her!"

"Wait I—"

"You deserve better! Deep down inside, actually maybe we need to dig down reaaaally deep but I know it's there! Someone like you deserves to find your own happiness! So please!"

Tears were gathering at the rim of your eyes, and you couldn't tell if they were from wanderer's sad, tragic love story or from the fear that if you didn't succeed in persuading him to move on, there wouldn't be any place for you in his heart.

The wanderer was baffled; he didn't expect this much of a reaction from you. It made his chest clench with that same feeling she always gave him—the same feeling you always gave him.

He composed himself, awkwardly patting you on the back in a way to comfort you. "It's not that big of a deal you know. It's not like the story ended there." you just kept on adding pages

"Well, guess what." You didn't give him time to think before you started tugging him by his arm.

"We're going somewhere to get your mind off her. Oh, and we'll need to get rid of that charm. That way, you won't think of her anymore."

Unbeknownst to you, you were the one that gave it to him.

"I don't think that's necessary," he says, but he's smiling. Your worried and determined attitude made it clear that you cared about him, and he couldn't be any more grateful.

"Nonsense, I'll buy you a gazillion way better charms, so you can forget about this one." You glared and pointed at the item like it was the bane of your existence.

"If you're that insistent, then I want it handmade." His hands, though he's done this many times before in the past, trembled slightly when he properly grasped your hand in his.

"Alright." You grinned and he looked fondly at you in return

It was amusing how you got so worked up about, well, yourself. But at the end of the day, it's still you, isn't it? It will always be you, you, you.

"I'm more than content that you're still by my side."

Before he erased himself from Irminsul, he never would have thought he deserved a happy ending with you. Fate had a funny way of leading people on, and he was led like a moth to a flame. Maybe an eternity with you wouldn't be so bad. No, he didn't mind, as long as it was you he'd be spending it with.

His precious sumeru rose.

─⁠──⁠──⁠──⁠─

"Heh, you always have a peculiar way of coming into my life."

"Is this about how I sneaked into the academia?"

"Mhm, don't worry. I'll make sure to leave the door wide open for you next time."

[r3starttt]

HELLO REN! i luv luv luv ur works so much <333 ever thought ab childhood best friend caitlyn where she asks reader about how she found out she liked girls? can be sfw or nsfw :P

a/n: Tysm! It made me sob 🥹🩷 also, loved this request. Hope u enjoy!

Warnings: fluff. a lot ig(?

Caitlyn had always been pretty self-confident. She would never hesitate, would always speak out loud and never really doubted herself.

But recently she’s transformed so much, she can’t stop doubting about her, about her mind and her heart and her whole life. About you.

She’d been friend with you for so long. You’re the only one she truly trusts, the person that makes her feel more comfortable, the only one that she feels like she can be her true self. No need to be perfect or strong or smart.

And it shows. The moment she sees you a wide smile appears on her face, a sparkle grows on her eyes, so unexplainable. And what you likes the most, she becomes the most tender person whenever she’s with you.

And it was like this since you met her. It took you a while to get close to her though. She’d always hesitate before answering all the questions you made about her, and her response was always to short, just telling you what was necessary.

But you never gave up on her because she seemed so nice, you were dying to be her friend. The little you’ve talked with her let you know how much you had in common, you’d never stop.

So she finally gave in and started to talk back, and she regretted so much for not doing it before, because you were so nice too, you’d hear hear if she needed to speak, you would remind her to breath whenever she spoke too fast. You’d hold hands with her if she was too nervous, you’d let her cry on your shoulder when she was feeling off and you’d hear her complain about her mom nonstop.

If she needed to be quiet then you were there for her, to stay hours in her room just staring at the ceiling in silence, or to talk about whatever came to your mind to entreating her. If she needed to speak you’d always listen. If she needed any advice she’d only listen to yours.

And she did the same for you.

You’d always be invited to whatever fancy event the Kiramman’s made, and caitlyn adored you so much for attending. You were probably the first relationship she had that didn’t felt like it was all about power and money and society and perfection. She felt so real with you, so comforted.

And she’d always find a way to let you know how much you meant for her. Like on your birthday, she’d always spoil you so much. Or if she noticed you weren’t doing good she’ll put you first until you felt better. She’d always convince you to tell her what was wrong, always avoid any conflict with you and would apologize whenever her emotions made a mess of your friendship.

She was just so nice for you and you were even nicer to her.

But she always thought it was a platonic feeling, nothing romantic. She’d love you, a lot, but only as a friend, as family.

“Do you like her?” You we’re both laying on her bed, in complete silence until now “She’s fine but… not my type I guess”

You’d met a girl some days ago, but it was nothing serious. I’m fact you didn’t even planned a second date. Tiny detail you’ve forgot to mention to Caitlyn.

“So you have a type?” you could notice her smirking from the corner of your eye, your hand slapped Caitlyn’s, and she let out a very loud and dramatic ‘oww’

“What about you mhm? You’ve never dated anyone, you’re so boring” now she slapped your hand

“How…did you know you like girls?” you let out a small giggle, was that the reason of her singleness?

“Uhh long story, but if you’re wondering if you like them then you probably have the answer already” she groaned, her head turned to look at you, there was a serious expression on her face “I just… I don’t know, I met a girl and I thought I loved her as a friend but…. It took me a while to understand my feelings”

You stopped talking for some seconds, thinking on how to explain it properly without gettin much into detail

“It’s kinda weird but, I only realized about it because the idea of kissing her or hugging her, maybe cuddling with her or touching her in general made me feel nervous. Like a mix of excitement and happiness”

She nodded. You moved your whole body to face her, resting your head on top of your hands. There was a slight blush covering her cheeks.

It was probably the first time she was unable to maintain eye contact with you. Did it mean anything? Maybe you were just overthinking it a lot, she’d let you know if she felt something for you right?

“Who are you thinking about?” she gulped, not really sure on how to answer “is it me?” the way her eyes widened gave you the answer you were looking for, but you needed to hear her saying it out loud “Answer me Caitlyn”

“It is, yes”

“So? you know you can be honest with me, I won-“

It happened so suddenly. Not a proper thing of her to do, but you wouldn’t complain.

Her soft lips pressed on top of yours, her hands traveled to yours and her long cold fingers intertwined with yours. Her touch felt so sweet, so tender and pure.

Your hands moved to her face, cupping it and caressing her cheek with your thumb.

Until she broke the kiss.

And if it wasn’t because of the sparkle on her eyes, because of the way her lost look wandered around your whole face, because of the way you could almost feel her heart as if it was yours, because of how your breathing became one, then you would’ve asked her if she liked it.

You moved some of her pretty blue hair and tucked it behind her ears. She looked even prettier now that you could look at her this closely.

“I think I like you” you giggled “I think I like you too”

[imcallingfromthestars]

How I met Gesa

i’ll try to keep it short and sweet; bc that’s basically how it all went. (i say this as the story gets long) it was rather quick, i didn’t wanna take up more of his time, but still just as important and special. i tried so hard to remember every detail, it’s all a blur now.

at the end of the show, a friend of mine found me and said “i was given a sticker badge for an after party, do you want to try going in?” everyone said i had to be the one to go first since i was the main gesa fan to them. i was obviously nervous, but i said yes. i didn’t know what was going to happen.

at the time there was only one badge, so i was going in all alone as my friends waited inside. the party was decently sized, filled with people i didn’t know but seemed important i felt out of place xD

then, a certain photographer well known in the fandom was there. i was brave enough to approach him and give him a gesa sticker. he love the sticker and my outfit and he took my picture. i asked him if he could give mike a sticker and that i was a huge fan. he looks at me, smirks and then walks me over to gesa. gesa was TALL … it was genuinely surreal seeing him in real life especially unmasked in 2024.

i start to panic and the photographer introduces me to gesa. the moment gesa sees me, he greets me with a smile. i offered him a sticker and he thanked me, but while i was handing it to him, my hands were shaking like crazy. so much so that he looks over to me and was like “are you okay?” but in a way that he was worried. i just told him i was so excited. i could’ve sworn he told me “it’s okay”. as we shook hands i explained that i was a big fan of his music bc it’s really helped me over the years. i told him his music healed me. he was listening so intently, nodding and he was very focused on me as if he understood what i meant. he could probably tell i was nervous and emotional. he said “aw come here” and pulls me in for a hug.

i ask for a picture, he politely said he doesn’t take pictures bc he didn’t want to show his face. so i asked if we could take a photo w our backs facing. and he actually said yes to that.

while we position ourselves for the picture gesa tells me “lean to me” so we were shoulder to shoulder. after a few seconds, he decides to wrap his arm around me. the photographer from before took our picture.

and then after that i show him my bag with all my gesa pins on it. he seemed rather interested about it he was looking at all of them. i shakily told him i wanted to give him the one i made. he thanked me. i’m not sure what he’ll do with my gifts but im still glad i gave it to him.

he then asked me for my name. i told him my full name and he repeated it back. he said it so sweetly. i then decided to go. i had friends waiting outside and i didn’t wanna bother him more. ofc i asked for another hug and he enthusiastically said yes. we both said our thank yous and that was that.

when i left the party, my badge sticker fell inside and i couldn’t go back and get it. my friends got their badges and went inside to find it. they found it on the floor and gesa was accidentally stepping on it.

they got to meet gesa while i waited outside. they also said he was very sweet. unfortunately i forgot to get a signature, but they did. they mentioned me to him and i guess he remembered me because they said he said “aww [my name]?”

when my friends came back, they brought back my badge as a momento. me losing my badge felt like i was literally cinderella with her shoe. and gesa practically had it without knowing.

i regret not staying in there for longer, and not talking to gesa more, but it was still an amazing experience. i’m forever grateful for everyone and everything that happened to me.

[itsalwaysalmostchristmas]

Rework of Viconia Devir

So, I had been working on two different ideas: How to rework Viconia where her whole story arc from the previous games doesn't get shat on and how to make the Tadpole Troupe more diverse.

I don't know why the thought came to me but it did: Shadowheart should've (or I think it would've been fun) been Viconia's daughter.

Please hear me out!

If you don't know, Viconia has literally the worse luck in the world it seems, like read her wiki page history I'm sure that's just then tip of the iceberg.

When travelling with Gorion's Ward she is a cleric of Shar, and if not romanced, after their adventures she goes to Waterdeep to run an enclave there, which Viconia in BG3 does tell us:

[Viconia DeVir: I had an enclave in Waterdeep, you know. Much grander than this. Shar ordered me to raze it, kill all who followed me - claim they betrayed me, when in fact I slew those who showed nothing but loyalty.]

I really think Viconia remaining with Shar sucks major balls. Literally, she goes on to be a hero in her own right in her epilogue:

[No longer with Protagonist, Viconia went on to found a cult dedicated to Shar in the city of Waterdeep. One of her followers betrayed her, however, prompting the slaughter of the whole tainted lot. Shar admonished Viconia strongly for this, but she was unrepentant and again wandered the Realms. Viconia was still formidable, and went on to prevent an attempt by the Knights of the Shield to take over Calimport, even worked with Drizzt Do'Urden to save the elven city of Suldanessalar from a Zhentarim plot. For this last act, the elves accepted her, and Queen Ellesime bestowed the highest honors of the Seldarine, an accolade never before given to one of her dark kind. Viconia reportedly bowed without emotion, and then left. Her fate remains unknown.]

Does that sound like someone who would continue to follow Shar?? My gal work with Drizzt Do'Urden! Saved at least two cities! Bestowed the highest award that no drow had ever received!?

Seriously, to me Viconia DeVir and Mother Superior are two completely different characters.

So, how does this work out for her to be Shadowheart's mother? I've got two alternatives that I could see the story using both at the same time, which they do with Gorion's Ward and Abdel Adrian.

Option 1: Viconia had a relationship with a human Selûnite

It could've been in Viconia's wanderings she save a town/village and a human took a keen liking to her. Either a fling or a genuine relationship, Viconia ends up pregnant and out shoots Jenevelle. You could still have it that her dad was a werewolf, but because he's human the years of torture on that torture disk thing caused him to perish.

(whatever that thing is)

Option 2: Shadowheart is the daughter of Viconia and Gorion's Ward

So, in Viconia's romanced ending she has a son with Gorion's Ward and fucking dies.

[Protagonist and Viconia continued adventuring long after leaving Tethyr. He became an important political figure, and she was his trusted counsel. Eventually Viconia bore Protagonist's child, which first served to strain their relationship. The birth, however, changed her, and she dedicated herself to raising the boy, teaching both the ways of the drow and of Protagonist's people. She marvelled at the understanding in his eyes, but unfortunately, didn't live to see him grow. Viconia was poisoned by a servant of Lolth, her last words whispered to her loving mate in private. Protagonist raised his son in secret, and tales vary on the result. Some say they waged a crusade against the drow, but all agree that the former child of Bhaal never forgot the love of his dark maiden.]

Obviously this isn't canon anymore, I guess? But, we've seen in the game Larian picks and chooses bits n pieces from the source material. I also don't like how Gorion's Ward isn't mentioned too much, I did hear that apparently Tav was meant to be a child of Gorion's Ward before it got scrapped and I do like the idea of descentants being part of the party.

If they had chosen this route of Shadowheart being Gorion's Ward and Viconia's child they could twist it in a few ways:

Viconia and Gorion's Ward did have a son but he was killed by Lolth servants rather than Viconia, making Shadowheart their second child.

Viconia and Gorion's Ward did have a son and they had Shadowheart as well but Gorion's Ward was killed by Lolth servants rather than Viconia, making the son still alive.

They never had a son, Lolth servant still kills Gorion's Ward

They never had a son, no Lolth servant kills anyone but Gorion's Ward still dies before we see Viconia again because people would not like a retconned CHARNAME we hate you abdel adrian fuck you

I think option 3 or 4 would make more sense game wise because you could still be vague on whether or not Shadowheart's other parent was Gorion's Ward, that way the player can decide based on who they romanced in their playthroughs. I do like option 2, either the brother could've spent all these years looking for his mother and sister and trying to save them or on the torture disk with his mother.

Also I don't think Viconia would become a Selûnite herself, honestly. I feel like two goddess' fucking you over would put you off worshipping another. However, I could see her wanting the best for her children, it says so in her epilogue she is a dedicated mother and I could imagine her wanting to set her child on the right path, some insecurity of poisoning her child's chance of a good life by being their mother.

I've said this in a post before but I genuinely didn't realise that Shadowheart's dad was a werewolf until I read it in a wiki article. I thought it was a manipulated memory and her dad (who we could switch out for Viconia) was illusion or replaced by a wolf to instil a fear in Shadowheart and make it seem like Mother Superior had saved her.

And, could you imagine the scene! You've defeated Mother Superior and her enclave, you got to where Shadowheart's parents are, with Minisc and Jaheira in your party, and hanging limp on the torture disk thing is the familiar face of Viconia DeVir.

Also Viconia's child being a target of Shar feels more possible than some random Selûnite couple. Honestly, you could take the whole Selûnite bit out. Could you imagine how pissed a god, especially one like Shar, would be if someone who had just killed a whole enclave of followers just shrugged of being scorned by you? Wouldn't you want to make them suffer for years? Make them remember what kind of god you are?

Anyways, here's half-drow Shadowheart!

(please excuse spelling mistakes and grammar I'm dyslexic)

[allwormdiet]

Arc 6: Tangle, Concluding Thoughts

Lotta emotional highs and lows to get through here, so let's not dawdle

Okay, from the top now

Brian Laborn is actively evading all of my attempts to understand him. I will discover what makes him tick no matter how long it takes, and I will know whether the furniture building was meant to be a date or not

Speaking of which, my God 6.3 was fucking awkward. Some of that I'm certain was intentional, and good job at that, but holy shit I was actually uncomfortable with the way Aisha is described on her first appearance. Like I guess that can be chalked up to Taylor being awkward and mean but I'm gonna be real, I'm eyeing Wildbow on this one, if there's ever a fucking Worm Revised Edition that had better be on the rewrite block

Uhhhhh, lessee, what n-ahh. The gallery job.

I'm torn on this one, honestly. The build-up was solid, the entrance was delightful, and in the moment-to-moment stuff the fights were fun, but... the Undersiders went in with like half the Protectorate's numbers, and then proceeded to fight a wholeass PRT squad and then every hero there, and beat almost all of them. The Wards didn't do jack shit before being taken out, Assault and Battery got one cool team move and then were dusted, Triumph got downed by a dog, Velocity... Velocity found out a critical flaw in what gets sacrificed in the name of full power efficiency.

Someone on Discord pointed out that Miss Militia using the machete against Regent was actually a good way to discourage him from making her arms move, which is honestly smarter than I initially gave her credit for, but she still wound up puking inside her own costume so it's not like she's coming away from this smelling like roses.

Armsmaster and Dauntless are the only heroes who come out of 6.5 to 6.7 not looking like complete chumps, and Dauntless doesn't have a whole lot of personality on display so he barely counts as a character.

Overall it feels like the Protectorate heroes lost a lot of their bite with this entire sequence. The Undersiders are getaway specialists, thieves who don't pick fights unless they're sure they can win, and they just challenged like one of the highest-rated heroes in the Protectorate and his entire squad and came out of it in one piece. I'll grant that between the ambush conditions and the functionally unmatched battlefield control provided by Grue and Skitter that they tilted multiple factors in their favor, but that still doesn't feel all the way sufficient.

It should've been a lot closer, I think, and in some places it was already pretty close.

I hate Coil's entire vibe so much, I hate hate hate this dude. Smug motherfucker with his choreographed limo rides and coin tricks and shit. I'm gonna have to put up with this for a while, I can fucking feel it, goddamn him.

Somewhat relatedly, Tattletale... I don't like her less but I'm keeping a closer eye on what she says and does. If she's actually vibing with Coil and not just working with him as a matter of opportunism then that. Doesn't reflect great on her.

Hebert family continuing to break my fucking heart. I swear to god these two are gonna take fucking forever to mend the rift between them, and it's gonna involve at least a half-dozen more near-death experiences, goddammit

Edit: fuck me forgot the interlude

Birdcage scares the shit out of me, I think what makes Dragon’s role as architect and warden even worse is that she clearly takes no joy from the act.

Bakuda died as she lived, with bombast and sudden, violent cruelty.

Ahh, fuck, what even is supposed to be next in the story. Leviathan is close, right? I don't know if he's showing up the very next thing but I've been wrong before. God I hope there's, like, a second to breathe before an Endbringer rolls up.

[xamaxenta]

Oh ok ok good points! Specifically I meant your Lancer Ace Saber Sabo and subsequent masters, since those are the two you've brought up interacting.

Ohigogh yeah ok lancer ace and saber sabo are a result of me @docxie and @meramera-writes fucking around with the fateverse and going balls to rhe walls crazy i dont take much credit other than thinking about what they look like and contributingto the ideas compliling :3 its a continuous blender of thoughts

But its important to know Saber Sabo is a boobs man and his master Ace specifically has some impressive tits so for the good of the kingdome and the mana transferrence he simply must suck on them for mana

Of course

So Lancer Ace is distinctly distracting to him for exactly the same reason, hes stacked hes also. Shirtless so those big bazoonggnas are out and about and hes going to gawk at them and thirst a little (thank god for his helm mouth visor mask hiding his emotions? Hlmao?)

Saber sabo is competitive and pushy and unhinged and really needs to win grail wars so he can use the grail to wish for aces boobs in his mouth forever amen - direct quote 😭

Lancer ace has two variants one is canonalinged bc Mars has this insane op canon compliant fate au that i consistently yearn over

The other Lancer Ace is the one i reference here and idk what his legend is or how he came to be a summonable heroic spirit (i forgot tbh but also i guess just take his canon story and make it a tale of heroic tragedy or smth) i kind of just looked at fate/zero diarmuid and shoved Ace into his outfit sans a shirt and we all collectively went ah yeah Sabo being a tiny cunty mouthy brat nerd to match him would be fun

Putting all that background on the floor now its incredibly funny for Ace or Lancer Ace to look at the nerdy Master Sabo and the crazy intense Saber Sabo and look back n forth like after figuring out theyre supposed to be the same person like

Holy shit how did you end up like that

Specifically Saber Sabo is an iteration of canon Sabo (of many ?) who gave his life voice and being of cause to the revolution, the dragon of the revolution imagery n stuff so hence his dragon knight aesthetic as a Saber

[brightlight-dazzlingeyes]

i found you | rúben dias

💘 synopsis: it's rúben's and isabella's first valentine's day together. warnings: fluff and gratuitous valentine-cute-themed smut becasue why not. (can be read as x reader cause i forgot to mention the oc name in the story) (this is a sequel to between the lines, but can be read as a standalone; since there's no actual smut in the original story, i figured i should give my oc a nice epilogue) (W.C. 1.5K)

Once upon a time, I was convinced that romantic love was nothing more than an annoying distraction. It was like a stubborn pebble in my shoe, constantly irritating me and diverting my focus from what truly mattered.

With great ambitions driving me forward, I embraced the life of a workaholic sports journalist. I'd dreamed of this career for as long as I could remember, and I was determined to make it to the top. Nothing and no one could derail the carefully plotted course I had set for myself. Or so I thought.

But then, love snuck up on me when I least expected it, turning my world upside down. I found myself falling for someone who challenged my carefully constructed plans and made me question everything I thought I knew about myself. And as much as I tried to resist, I couldn't deny the magnetic pull drawing me closer to him.

As Valentine's Day approached, I reflected on how much had changed since that time when I thought love was nothing but a nuisance. Now, it is the very thing that brings color to my life. 

And as I prepared for a romantic dinner with the person who had stolen my heart, I felt nothing but gratefulness for the delightful chaos he had brought into my life.

We stepped into a cozy restaurant, the aroma of delicious food enveloped us, and I felt a flutter of excitement in my stomach. Valentine's Day dinner with Rúben – it is still surreal, like something out of a cheesy rom-com.

We plopped down at our table, and Rúben dove into the menu like it was a puzzle. Couldn't help but poke fun at him.

"Can't make up your mind, huh? Let me guess, torn between the steak and the seafood pasta." I teased, a smirk playing on my lips.

He glanced up, "Actually, I was thinking of going all in and ordering the entire dessert menu. You know, for research." He joked, his laughter contagious.

After dinner and a couple drinks, we decided to head back to Rúben's place. As we walked out of the restaurant, the crisp evening air hit us. We strolled side by side, our steps matching in rhythm, exchanging playful banter along the way. 

Eventually, we reached Rúben's apartment building, and he held the door open for me with a charming smile. I followed him inside. As we stepped into the elevator, the atmosphere shifted, a sense of excitement mingled with nerves. Our eyes met, and in that silent exchange, we both knew what was coming next.

The elevator ride felt like it lasted an eternity, the anticipation building with each passing floor. And when we finally reached Rúben's floor, the door to his apartment swung open, and we stepped inside. 

We stood there for a moment, taking in the scene before us, the air thick with anticipation. And as Rúben turned to face me, his eyes sparkling with desire, I knew that this was where I was meant to be.

"I'm so happy." He whispered, his voice barely above a breath.

"Yeah?" I replied, a smile spreading across my face. "Well, there are plenty of ways you can show me just how happy."

"I'll do my best." He answered, his eyes twinkling with excitement as he leaned in and planted a tender kiss on my forehead.

His touch sent a shiver down my spine, igniting a fire of desire within me. I nodded, unable to find the words to express the storm of emotions raging inside me. 

The atmosphere was charged with electricity, every glance and touch sending jolts of excitement through my veins. Rúben's eyes sparkled with desire as he guided me further into the room, his hand warm against mine. Our lips met in a passionate kiss, igniting a fire between us. We lost ourselves in each other's embrace. This was where I belonged – in Rúben's arms, surrounded by love and desire.

We surrendered to the intensity of our connection. Rúben's hands moved with purpose, exploring every inch of my body as if committing it to memory, each touch igniting a new wave of desire within me.

With practiced ease, he lifted me off my feet, his strong arms holding me close as he carried me towards the bedroom. I wrapped my arms around his neck, lost in the sensation of being so close to him, my heart racing with anticipation.

As he gently lowered me onto the bed, our eyes locked in a silent promise of passion and devotion.

His kisses became more intense, I could hear the rhythm of his breathing growing more rapid. His fingers curled around my hips, pulling me closer, pushing me further onto him. I whimpered as pleasure surged through me.

His hands continued their journey southward, tracing the curves of my body with skillful precision. The look in his eyes told me he was feeling the same wild need I was.

I arched my back, grinding my hips against him, letting him feel my desire. And the sensations only intensified as he teased my clit with his tongue, coaxing it into bloom. With every touch, with my body under his mercy, the room around me began to spin.

He parted my legs with his knee and buried his face between them, moaning as he kissed my inner thighs. In that moment I realized I could reach orgasm with just his lips caressing my most intimate flesh. I lost control. I cried out as ecstasy overwhelmed me.

Without warning, his mouth descended on mine again, seeking out the sweetness of my lips, inserting one finger inside of me. Then another one. I cried out in delight, pushing myself deeper onto his digits. His fingers worked relentlessly at their task. I let go of my inhibitions and gave myself over to his expert ministrations, gasping as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through me.

Finally, after several moments of total bliss, I collapsed under him, breathless and spent.

He pulled away and smiled, cupping my cheek tenderly, gazing deeply into my eyes. 

My eyes were heavy as I stared into his; dark pools that bore an intensity I'd never seen before. There was a strange expression on his face, a combination of curiosity and wonder. It didn't take me long to realize that he was looking at me with complete adoration.

Cuddling with him, I could feel just how hard he was, laying on top of me. I smiled, still feeling a bit shaky after such a harsh orgasm, and placed my hand on his member. He looked at me with wonder.

"Are you sure you're ready to go on?" He asked, concern evident in his voice.

"Mmm, not really." I admitted, rubbing the bulge tentatively.

"Maybe I should give you a rest first." He leaned forward and licked my earlobe playfully.

"Oh, but I've been dreaming about this all day." I breathed into his ear.

He whispered back, "Well, who am I to deny you your dreams?"

His words sent a shiver down my spine, turning my knees weak. I reached up to pull him closer, craving the feel of his skin against mine. Then, before I knew what was happening, he grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head.

It was like he possessed me. With just one swift motion, he pushed me backwards, then pressed himself firmly against me. He let out a low moan as he lifted my leg higher, curling me around his waist, penetrating me with one forceful thrust. The sensation was incredible. He reached behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tight.

As he slowly moved in and out of me, I heard the same soft sound of pleasure escape from both of us. I found myself getting lost in his deep brown eyes, forgetting where I was and everything else around me. My head fell back against his shoulder as he moved ever so slightly faster. It wasn't long before I came again.

But instead of slowing down or stopping, he picked up speed even more.

My heart raced as I surrendered to the whirlwind of sensations coursing through me. With each powerful thrust, I felt myself edging closer to the brink of losing my mind, my body trembling with ecstasy.

He whispered my name like a prayer, his breath hot against my ear as he drove me to the edge and beyond. I clung to him desperately, my nails digging into his skin as I rode the waves of pleasure crashing over me.

And then, in a crescendo of bliss, we reached the pinnacle together, our cries of release mingling in the air. 

We lay entwined in each other's arms, spent and breathless. In that moment, there was no past, no future, only the intense connection between us, binding us together. With him by my side, I was ready to face whatever challenges life threw our way, knowing that our love would always be our guiding light.

[sonicjustbecause]

What about the earliest Shadow?

Mods and Shadow has his Chao following him...

I imagine that most people got so interested in Shadow lately because he is back to be likeable, but also because of the incoming movie.

For the last decade Shadow has been the laughing stock from Sonic series. Crazy OoC-ness from fans were deliberate and not a mistake.

Yes, happy Shadow was a choice by its autor. Is a long story...

The most common image of last decade Shadow we had was... THIS...

Idiot...

I knew Shadow first from Adventure and Heroes. I didn't play heroes but I played a lot SA2B, especially the chao game and I always used Sonic and Shadow because they were the safest to have around chao. I rediscovered him later, in 2010, but he wasn't the likeable character I once knew so I completely lost interest in him (also I'm more a Sonic fan). I forgot who he was and all the things I knew were from meme. But also video from games showing 'how Shadow is an asshole' 'Shadow the edgelord' and IDW comics, the worst of all (not that Game Shadow was better, he was often underused and his few lines tasted as 'Go fuck yourself'. To make things worse he was dubbed by Kirk Thorton, not a really beautiful voice, to not say brutal things...).

Sega just took Shadow and removed all his good qualities, all what made him well rounded, keeping only the flaws (I've read the mandates, do you know what an Anti-Mary Sue is? Well...). They wanted him being unlikeable I guess. Is mainly from Prime and tMoStH that Shadow sparkled my interest again into exploring him as character, that made me think there is more, that he must also have good qualities, not only flaws.

The earliest Shadow (Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic Heroes) was hardly grumpy. He was sad, lonely, somewhat insecure, often lost in though, but also stubborn, certainly less cold than people might assume. As for grumpiness, if I compare him to Sonic in 2001, Sonic seemed slightly grumpier than Shadow at that time. Shadow himself seemed to be aware of that and to have fun picking on Sonic. Both of them are rather cold outside but both of them are shown to be able to feel strong emotion (Shadow having a panic attack and Sonic wiping his eyes during the credits, Shadow being controlled by is own emotions while Sonic refusing them) At least that was the impression he gave me. Since Shadow was meant to die, most of his personality traits aswell as his backstory were packed and shown during the whole game, like a character ark. He is pratically the protagonist in the dark storyline. By the end of the storyark he is able to open up to Sonic (during the final battle against the biolizard he openly told Sonic he was not feeling well. Also the hand clasping was a gesture of openess from Shadow) and to some degree toward Amy. Not so much toward Rouge who pratically is the one who hurt him the most. In heroes Shadow appears to be pleasant to have around, althoug aloof. He is not fond in humanity and that's one of his main traits, but he doesn't let his predjudice win over him. He still has this melancholic aura around him though, it doesn't matter how content or cheerful he may seem sometimes.

Sonic was dubbed by Ryan Drummond and Shadow by David Humphrey. David's voice was different from the other VA Shadow had. His voice was more high pitched, youthful, cute. Still soft spoken. Ryan's voice was legendary, and when he made Sonic talk soflty, he sounded almost like Shadow. The two VA had so similar voices that made Sonic and Shadow sound like legit twins, and back in 2001 I though they shared the same VA all the time. Well, Drummond also dubs Shadow for a short time.

So what went wrong?

The 00's era were the years of the prince of the saiyan, or better, the king of the edgelords:

This guy was also sad and lonely. But he was also more impulsive, rough, boorish and extremely grumpy. Maybe because he is a muscular human and not a cute velvety male calico kitten hedgehog he filled the dreams of young and older teenagers.

Some said Shadow is based on Vegeta (not only him but also him) the more the 00's approaches the 10's, the more Shadow became grumpier, arrogant and standoffish. Sadness and melancholy were replaced by selfishness and he became less and less fun and interesting. Shadow the edgelord.

Archie Shadow was maybe too expressive (and his sadness was very underlined) but with only SA2 and Sonic Heroes around this interpretation was more than understandable. They (Flynn, Penders I can imagine) referred from the material they had. Shadow opening up to Sonic is there in Adventure 2, is undeniable, so it was normal assuming he was more open.

He is left handed, yeah! (This is actually correct)

In Sonic Universe Shadow was more balanced, maybe closer to the one we saw in early '00s. Lonely, rejected, sometimes bullied (although he could defend himself with his sharp tongue) because he was different.

Then the IDW.

No. Seriously Shadow?

That is unavoidable if we are talking about characters that are created by a team and not by a single. We already see this with Disney. When the writers change the charcters change too, everybody notices different things about a character, based on it's own experience of life. The characters chanfe even when the single writer deals with them, because people change too. Any kind of mandates can only help this far, if they're too heavy they end to be counter productive.

This is my personal opinion, but I would have seen better Shadow befriending Amy and Sonic more than Rouge in early days. Rouge worried for him at times, but there were moments she purposefully hurted him (although later she cared sincerely for him). She would take time to regain his trust. With Sonic, following SA2 would have been open, even more than what we see in Prime. With Amy he would be in good terms though often drained by her own cheerfulness and extrovertion. Tails is rather reserved although not socially awkward so he would not have problem with him. With Knuckles things would become funny I guess, Shadow used to be calm and smart while Knuckles is more simple and is grumpy. I think he (Shadow) would still have issues and relapses with his PTSD though and the need to be left alone.

Well, now the movie will come out. They did a good job until now. I'm curious about what they will do with Shadow. I hope he will be likeable like in SA2.

[dreamsy990]

so 358/2 days, amiright? heres my thoughts

this game is just. god its an emotional rollarcoaster

i guess ill start with the things i dont like!! which is mostly the gameplay. i dont really mind the mission structure shockingly (i like being able to roam around but having a clear goal makes things easier for my adhd ass, and i think the miniature storylines are very good for the most part) but i simply could Not get into the combat. especially coming off of kh2 it feels so stiff and unfun to play the only part of the game where i enjoyed the combat was fighting riku at the very end. i think the panel system is okay but i dont like that levels take up space. why did they do that.

story-wise, i dont like the retcons!! a lot of the ones i take issue with are very minor but things like roxas only fighting riku once instead of the implied multiple times (even the dialogue doesnt make sense when you change that, why does roxas say 'how many times do i have to beat you' when theyve only fought once?) are the kinds of inconsistencies that just annoy me.

im also a little bit annoyed at the very concept of this game at all. i think roxas worked just fine as a character without this game. it feels sort of unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. also, xion. i love xion, dont get me wrong, but i dont think she adds anything to the series over all. thats not to say she doesnt add anything to this game because shes a great character and i love her, but shes just. kind of like this game in that if you got rid of her i dont think it would really change the narrative so much.

BUT DESPITE THAT ALL!!!!!!!! i fucking ADORE this game. it is genuinely so full of charm and soul that i just cant bring myself to dislike it. i think this is one of the best written games in terms of dialogue. every scene (at least for me) hit exactly as emotionally hard as i think it was meant to. i was laughing at demyx's antics and crying at xions death and yelling at saix and i think thats exactly how the game is meant to be seen.

days at its heart is a slice of life. its working a 9 to 5 its going through a depressive episode its losing friends its grieving its making fun of your coworkers its living. its a game about life and i love that.

this game really did make me forget that axel roxas and xion dont get a happy ending. i spent so much time looking forward to them making up that i forgot that roxas ran away. hell i almost forgot that xion died.

days is emotional and its story and its characters are just so fucking good. the conflicts all felt very real and you can tell exactly where everyones coming from. the way axel roxas and xion fall apart hits so fucking close to home. but god damnit if axel had any good communication skills like half of this could be avoided

its also one hell of a love letter to axel's character. hes always been one of my favorites (he recently earned first place) and i think this game does him a lot of justice. hes trying to do good. he wants to keep everything together he wants to be there for his friends he wants to make things right but he just cant. its just AUGH its so fucking good

that thing about axel's characterization really also applies to roxas. i dont have much to say about him beyond the fact that i think it does his character very well. also tism. hes so autism.

i kind of like the very limited graphics too. sue me i enjoy low quality games. the hands are not animated and they all have two expressions (blinking and not blinking) and their weapons are flat and im living for it. the very few fully animated cutscenes are good too!!

the (real, i dont count riku) final boss is unfortunately very easy. you can just stand directly in front of her and mash a she wont hit you its too easy but vector to the heavens did mess me up a bit. also earlier scene but "ill always be there to bring you back" with the other promise playing over it? fucked me up man. yoko shimomura is once again killing it

i cant believe roxas didnt get to go to the beach.

i have to give this game a 9/10. its writing is incredible but the gameplay could use a lot of work. its just not fun to play. but again the characters, emotions, and music all make up for that tenfold.

[diazfox]

(A tentative guess about your BuckTommy vs Buddie post)

I guess a big part of it is because it's canon ? It's canon and it seems to work, and it seems to be make Buck calm and fluffy and happy in a healthy way, which is what a lot (all ?) of us want. So we can get behind that, for now.

Your "why not a similar support behind his exes / fetishizing MM relationship" question is valid and i think the difference is because it's the first time someone Buck dates seems to really fit with him without having something that we can pre-shot is going to be a problem, and the first time he goes into a relationship (getting myself ahead of things there) without it being to heal something in him ? And as I've read other people point out, Tommy's not silo-ed out, he has a backstory with the Begins episodes, he is friends with some of the 118, so it makes him less of a plot device than Buck's female exes.

And about the second part, the fetishizing part, i think sadly it's just a real thing that happens here, on tumblr and in fandom spaces : men are seen enjoying being together and fandom smooches them together together. One could even argue that it's the same for Buddie, wanting them to be together together when canon just factually says they are BFFs. I don't think anyone is erasing anything, but all that is canon about Buddie is that they are BFFs (a lot can be read as more that friends but ultimately it's with shipping goggles on, only - i'm not a very optimistic person, though).

I guess some of us think that if they didn't make Buddie happen for this long, then it may be because it is meant to stay on the fandom shipping side ? And we're given this incredible chance to have a canon lgbt character with an unusual story of self-discovery that doesn't happen a lot in tv shows so we're just enthusiastic to go with the flow ?

And if it turns out that the writers have the guts to get Eddie his own self-discovery journey, and if that later leads to Buddie happening somehow, then I think all BuckTommy shippers will be glad that it finally happened, and that it is canon, and is finally the Truth.

damn, thanks for your insight! i do see how things being canon and properly canon (like Tommy having a "backstory") can cause shifts in perspectives looking into the future.

i 100% understand why some might think buddie is a form of fetishization too. ngl i've seen strong arguments like "why can't 2 male characters share a strong emotional bond platonically? why does it have to lead to romance?" i guess my main reason for bringing up fetishization with respect to bucktommy is the fact that they are quite lacking in the "strong emotional bond" department. so it feels pretty much like "2 hot guys kissing and touching each other hell yeah" to me.

but i realise i'm overlooking the fact that this is bi buck's first relationship, though. i forgot to consider the fact that majority of this support for tommy comes from the fact that this is the first love interest of buck's to whom he can give all of himself and get twice as much with all the freedom in the world AS A BI MAN. thank u for putting me on to the fact that i've been misinterpreting this enthusiasm to some degree.

thats not to say that just bc something is canon or just a headcanon everything is set in stone. writers and actors themselves have made it very clear time and time again that audience reactions and engagement matters when it comes to plot development. in your own line of thought, right until 7x 03 they didn't make bi Buck happen for so long. so would u say it was meant to stay merely on the fandom shipping side? i just think the possibilities are endless, and maybe we as a fandom can try to have a bit more resilience to see through fan-originated storylines instead of a "i'll just go with whatever is canon bc it's easier" ethic.

[sirdurbe]

@goakizaizinski asked me ages ago about my zexal ship opinions and i forgot to answer, but since it's on my mind, here are some of my thoughts (which are mostly durbe-centric because, duh)

first, durbe/nasch. atem/mahad was my bread and butter when i was super into dm, so i'll always have a fondness for this pair -- and yet, at the same time, i find more and more that i prefer it unrequited on durbe's end if it's just the two of them. i guess i just like being mean to durbe? 😂 but it also means i can use yūma/shark as a plot device to push durbe and kotori together. (i'm pretty lukewarm about yūma/shark outside of this express purpose. it's totally fine, i just don't have strong feelings about it.)

"durbe and kotori?? did they interact even a single time???" yes, actually, and i haven't been the same since. they have archlord kristya in common and durbe's deck can natively go into fairy cheer girl, which was a very popular option during star seraphs' heyday in duel links. case closed. nah, i really don't know how to explain this one? it kind of blossomed from my generally negative feelings toward kotori/yūma, which...... i'll try to keep short, because ship bashing isn't my thing, but kotori/yūma in canon is all give and no receive on her part and it's genuinely really sad. the way she identifies astral as yūma's most important person right after she confesses her feelings to him is just,, ouch. like it literally feels cruel when it's clearly not meant to be. and it's not meant to be because women being unilaterally dedicated to men who pour their own emotional energy into other men is regrettably common, not just in yugioh, not even just in anime or media. but i digress. durbe and kotori are both nurturers in very different ways and i think letting them both experience that would be really good, because neither of them is used to being on the receiving end of that kind of care. plus durbe is borderline comically serious and kotori can be such a silly birb, i think they'd make a fun pair 🩷

since we're already touching on big ships. yūma/astral. eh. the irony is that i actually started watching zexal for them. i do more or less consider it canon? but not in a way where i care all that much about it. part of it's that i find yūma to be the least interesting part of zexal, which i hate to say because i also feel that the story generally benefits from how unremarkable he is -- he's supposed to be this more or less normal kid who has no stake in these interpersonal and interdimensional conflict, he just has a huge heart and wants to help people. i also just... don't remotely buy that astral's maturity is on the same level as a 13-year-old's. (it's really funny to me that the same people who get up in arms about age gaps have no issue with these two. they have an even bigger gap than atem and yūgi. it's almost like they're hypocrites or something... 🤔) obvious disclaimer that i'm not remotely suggesting it's ""immoral"" to ship this -- ships can't be immoral -- i just personally don't because of the huge maturity gap from my pov.

i made this post to talk about durbe and the twins and got sidetracked. durbe/merag. s tier. god, i love holyice more and more every day, i swear. i like it by itself and i like it as part of a throuple with nasch, whereas durbe/nasch i prefer as one-sided except in the context of durbe/nasch/merag. i need to get around to publishing something with these two asap. i wish i had more words but my brain genuinely just goes !!!!!!!!🩷🩷🩷 can't wait to subject everyone to my hyper specific headcanons.

all of this also applies to durbe/rio, though i actually like durbe/ryouga a smidge more than durbe/nasch, whereas durbe/merag and durbe/rio are about the same? maybe it's that both incarnations of rio get less focus than her brother and as such, don't feel as distinct in their dynamic with durbe, in spite of how much i like to play with her both being and not being merag. durbe and ryouga are really petty and that's funny.

i quite like durbe/mizael and i've been kicking around the idea of durbe/thomas. i like kaito/chris despite my apathy towards kaito, but i supremely don't care about kaito/mizael. have i forgotten any big ones?? kotori/cathy and kotori/anna are fun. astral/96 was my old stomping ground and i still have a soft spot for it. i like 96/akari and astral/akari, too. yūma/96 is okay but inferior to other 96 ships. i only like 96/vector when vector isn't an uwu innocent victim and vector/yūma when it's properly fucked up. yūma/fūya, yūma/kaito, yūma/michael and michael/kotori are cute. michael/astral and especially michael/mizael seem fun in my head. i want to see fūya/anna explored more, too, i just don't care to do it myself.

my kaito apathy means kaito/ryouga doesn't do much for me, either. i like thomas/rio and vector/rio a little more than thomas/shark and vector/shark, but see the appeal in the latter pairs as well. i like @shifuto's astral/shark stuff even if i'd never think of it on my own. kotori/rio deserves more love -- too much of the content feels really performative for me. if i think of a ship i forgot i'll edit this.

i can't believe orbital 7 fucked. that's all

[scaly-freaks]

Hiiii!! I fell in love with 'until the colours fade' and the end made me think that maybe Aegon was going to commit su*cide? it felt open ended too as if maybe he could work things out with Jae and they could be the family they both so desperately need. I was so angry with Aegon at first because the neglecting hit close to home, but I ended up feeling sad for both of them in the end. It felt like you meant to keep the mother unnamed but was she Amara? i wanted to guess because of the moodboard and the girl with the dark hair.

If you want to reveal anything about their life when she was still alive I'd really love that!! The idea of Aegon mourning her when he found out she died just made me so sad and I didn't even wannt to imagine it because they always feel so joined in my mind

Aaahhhh thank you so much (and thank you for being so sweet with your request omg)

It is open-ended. It's ultimately up to the reader to decide what happens without any input from me. My irls read the fic today and were dragging Aegon over the coals because they refused to accept that anyone once they've become a parent has any excuse not to raise a perfectly normal, well balanced child, which I didn't agree with, but to each their own. Traumatised children grow up to become parents all the time and don't stop being traumatised. All you can do is your best, even if that counts as bare minimum to someone else. To you, that is your best. Your intentions are there.

Aegon definitely didn't mean to let his intentions slip, but after the mother's death, aka someone he obviously relied on heavily in terms of emotional support, he lost his mind a little bit. His family is busy with their own lives, and are also quite neglectful of him because I imagine he's not the success story amongst the Targ-Hightowers. No one came to his house after the funeral to clean up and make sure there was food in the fridge when he got back. That's how they never realised Jae was still there until a week and a half later. He had the excuse (barely) of numbing himself on alcohol and drugs to avoid facing up to the fact that his wife was gone, hence why he forgot her. He let Jaehaera parent herself which was also wrong, and she became a latch key kid pretty much. If the electric bill isn't paid, the washing machine isn't working, and then who's cleaning her underwear? At eleven, she's probably thinking whatever, it's fine i'll reuse it, it doesn't look dirty because no one's teaching her that stuff (can't even say it's common sense because kids will be kids). She hasn't started her period yet, but I imagine Aegon would be a lot more aware of that this time round and actually buy her the stuff before he drags Helaena in to explain it all LOL.

And yes, 'Momma' was in fact Amara. And yuupppp, pulled my heartstrings to think of Aegon losing her. She was a baby having a baby, and then suddenly she was gone and Jaehaerys went with her.

Their life before she died was happy, I must admit. They both obviously struggled massively with mental illness and addiction and whatnot, but the kids were their pride and joy, something they made between them and would go to the ends of the earth for. Aegon was a good dad before she died, which is the most heartbreaking bit. Glimpses of it come through, for instance the glitter shampoo, buying Jae sweets after they fight, running after the ice cream van, but these are all notably things he did when she was way younger and before Amara died, suggesting he's frozen in time. Jae is growing up, and her Dad is failing to keep up. He's sluggish and trapped in memories he wants to return to. He used to put his all into making sure his kids were happy on the little money they had, and that his wife wasn't sinking into her depression again (Amara went through a couple suicide attempts during her post-partum period). She was terrified she'd go through with it one day and that it would never end even once the kids were older, and Aegon was the one who was like I won't let you, I promise, I'll keep you here even if it's not that simple.

The sad irony is she died and it was completely out of both their hands. She didn't want to leave, but she did. He tells Jaehaera no, baby, you're all me to disguise the fact that she has her mother's eyes and those eyes haven't looked at him the same since Amara died. Obviously Jaehaera's lonely and depressed and struggling to cope, so when she looks at her dad, he sees all those things staring back at him. He sees what Amara used to look like in her worst moments, but he doesn't have half the mental and emotional energy he used to in order to help his daughter. Instead, he drowns and watches her drown with him.

Amara is probably somewhere in the afterlife crying over the pair of them and not enjoying heaven I'm ngl 😭

[shark-myths]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for the tag ((and drag)) @carbonbased000! this was very fun and thoughtful to do.

who is writing things right now? i never remember. i will tag a wide and perhaps not terribly relevant range of: @toorational @just-about-nothing @27-royal-teas @leyley09 @alienfuckeronmain @stereostatic @setting-in-a-honeymoon and anyone else so inclined!

++

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

65

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

968,103, but as i’ve said before, i have orphaned a lotta fic as well

3. What fandoms do you write for?

pretty much just Fall Out Boy, but i will occasionally dabble in something random! this includes tony stark femslash (not sorry, will not apologize), cobra kai, and anything about girls or characters who could compellingly be made into girls.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Difference Between Real Love and the Love on TV

Stranger Danger

Boys Next Door / Assholes

From Russia With Love (this is one of those random sidesteps, a MCU femslash epistolary)

Jet Black Crow

(As an aside, it is so wild to me that older fics have so many more kudos than newer ones—you can really tell that fob went 5 years between albums! imo this is NOT a list of my best fic.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

for years, I responded to every single one! then at some point i fell behind because of my high standards for trying to put the same thought and effort into my responses as all you lovely people put into the comments, then i became overwhelmed, then i stopped. I AM SO SORRY IF I OWE YOU RETURN COMMENTS, i read them and i treasured them and you are a huge part of the reason i keep writing. love u all!!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I only write happy endings, man! I stopped writing tragedies a long time ago. My angstiest fics are red and unafraid of living and In Every Universe. the end of Made One Way (Cobra Kai) is ambiguous and potentially brutal, depending on how you take it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

um, every single other one! I’m a big fan of the gory fairy tale ending of The Boys Time Can’t Capture, and transmuting the hiatus into an act of mutual care and love in Sell Out Girl meant so much to me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not since my first fandom and god, don’t

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes, a bit, could probably write a little less about feelings and a little more about feelings if u know what i mean. I’m super into sex as a person so i almost never write about intense romantic connections without bringing smut into it somehow; they feel really tightly linked for me, and i think i also crave media with HOT and INTIMATE connections between queer people. In terms of kind, i guess i’d have to say it’s largely rushed vanilla emotion-and-orgasm driven scenes. not a very flattering oeuvre i've created here.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

mash-ups are my favorite thing to do! I especially like ripping off movie and fairy tale plots and making them stranger, or else taking a really specific constrained timeline from someone’s life or a piece of media and transforming it somehow. best sandbox ever. my craziest one is probably the coyote ugly / beauty in the beast peterick fic, Wolves Dressed As Wolves. and i love this type of transformation in everything, whether it's the weirdo gender shit i just learned duchamp was doing or katherine addison's destructively beautiful 'sherlock holmes except there're ANGELS' novel or the buenos aires re-imagining version of vivaldi's four seasons by piazzolla, my life and taste keeps taking me into the various ways we fold and refract and remake the same experiences over and over again through different lenses or angles or selves. to quote some author whose identity i forgot years ago, though the quote remains: "there are no new stories." all art is iterative, and the most interesting thing we can do as creators is deviate in new, unexpected ways.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeah, a million years ago on deviantart

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! I have had a few translations and a podfic. I love it when people want to interact with my stories in their own way, all interpretations are welcome.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

one day i hope to be domesticated enough that @carbonbased000 can write with me. I used to co-write by passing the laptop back and forth with my bestie in high school; we wrote self-insert x-men fanfiction based on the comic books in like 2004 and it was an absolute blast; but generally i am considered impossible to work with, by both myself and others.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

i feel completely unqualified to answer this question. i have been driven insane by any number of pairings in my life. when i was younger, i was more interested in internalized homophobia themes in ships, because that's where WE were culturally in the early 2000s and where i was in relationship to myself, and i think each change and growth and greater empowerment and self-possession in my own life is mirrored in what i am interested in. i feel the most drawn in by dynamics between people that are creative and give me a new way to access and explore interesting ideas and themes; i’m a real sucker for shared art products and touring bands as unique and agonizing ways to connect people. there are so many different ways to express that someone is your soulmate and you'll never convince me throwing away all trappings of a traditional life in order to rove the earth and make art with your friends isn't one of them.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

do you not just block out your WIPs from your mind so that you can live in moment-to-moment freedom?? I am a finisher in general, i have a few peterick drafts lurking around in my gdocs but if they remain untouched, it’s generally because there are only a couple thousand words to them and i’m not very excited about the possibilities of the fic. there is a sequel to a meticulously historically accurate pirate fic i wrote long ago called Providence, i got to about 30k and then lost all of my extremely painstaking notes and research in a software update. I’m still very interested in and excited by the idea, but i lost the notes and felt too traumatized to continue with the project genuinely a decade ago, so the idea that i will return and finish the fic seems fairly unlikely. Providence is one of my greatest pieces of writing ever, though, so hope springs eternal, i guess!

16. What are your writing strengths?

lyrical prose and conveying humor via unusual sentence construction. i was recently told i write arguments well and feel tough as a result, like, watch out! you don’t want to fight me!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i am lazy and easily distractible, i don’t plot in advance, i barely edit because i get really rigid and have trouble seeing any other way to say something than how i’ve already said it, i have an unwillingness to delete and rewrite even when that’s the only way forward (see: my eternally 90% finished age swap peterick au), i use up all my emotional energy elsewhere and then neglect my craft for weeks at a time. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

sometimes i’ll use pet names in another language if it makes sense for the character, but i avoid this in general as i’m not fluent in anything other than english. I would, have, and do sound like a duolingo lesson.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

afi bandom, when we used to call it slash, when i thought i had invented it with my friend at summer camp, when i was 13 and sent her kidfic stories i wrote out by hand in pink envelopes.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

genuinely i almost always write things i personally want to read, so i love them all! except the fucking fixed stars of heaven, everyone knows that fic tortured me to within an inch of my sanity. My most personal and personally meaningful fic is Girl Out Boy. i have a tattoo of it on my arm.

[mar64ds]

Can I know what's exactly sam and max and where should I start watching/play/reading it? Your posts make me feel curious and the energy of these two fill me with good vibes

Sam and Max is a comedy series about two guys solving strange crimes, they are married too, it's a lot of fun

It started with comics but then had a tv show and lots of videogames adaptations

-If you search 'sam and max comics' they are pretty easy to find

-The whole tv show you can find on youtube, there is even hd upscales

They have five videogames, you can either play them yourself or watch playthroughs on youtube, your choice

-The first game is Sam&Max Hit the road, an old pixel art game made by Lucasart. It's very short but this game is famous for having extremely difficult puzzles, unless you have a guide it's going to be almost impossible

-Then there is three seasons of Telltale games: Sam&Max Save the world, Sam&Max Beyond time and space, Sam&Max The devil's playhouse. They have remastered the first two seasons and they are working on the remaster of the last season right now, it's meant to come out this year apparently. My advice is to play the remasters, they look better and have removed a couple of bad 'jokes' from the original, as well as giving a black voice actor to a black character that used to be voiced by a white man

The first season starts slow but gets better as episodes go, it's a silly season, it has 6 episodes, the other two seasons have 5 episodes. The second season has a lot of highs and a lot of lows, when it's good it's good when it's bad it's bad, it feels like it has less of an idea of what they wanted the story to be but i suppose that doesn't matter much with sam&max. The third season............... oh, well, let's just say it gets a little less silly sometimes, there are high stakes here, there are tense emotionals moments, if you like these two characters you might cry. But truthfully, it's also a very dumb game with dumb adventures lol

-Then we have a VR game, I wouldn't buy a VR set for it, just go watch a playthrough. The gameplay is not that good and i'm pretty sure the devs are cryptobros, so just enjoy seeing sam and max talking to each other and to you for a couple of hours and then move on

I think it's important to warn that some stuff in this franchise hasn't aged well, some because it was the 80s/90s (comics, tv show, hit the road), others because some writers wanted to be edgy family guy writers i guess even though that's not the humor sam&max is supposed to have (the telltale games). No excuse for either of those though, it sucks that stuff is here at all and it would be bad that i talk about how much i enjoy these characters and not warn that there is bad stuff here from time to time. From the top of my head i remember the comics, show and Hit the road have racist caricatures of indigenous people (the comics have a one page comic long that includes this, hit the road has bigfoots that are kind of meant to be that as well and i would skip episode 3 of the cartoon altogether + edit: i forgot to add that there are characters in season 2 episode 2 of the telltale games that are also racist indigenous stereotypes), the telltale games have a bunch of fatphobia (mostly towards sam), ableism (mostly with a character named timmy, honestly skip the cutscenes once he shows up, you can skip dialogue in these games) and racist comments and stereotypes (like making max say a bunch of conservative stuff for no reason when he canonically kills n*zis and white supremacists in the comics. Caricatures of mexican people in s2 and romani people in s3, you could say the way they write black characters can be a bit stereotypical too but it's not my place to talk, but just a warning overall). There is more and if anyone wants to add more warnings go ahead

It's a fun franchise with fun characters, especially the main duo, when it's good it's really good, but when it's bad it's really bad, it's important to be critical about it. Wether you want to give it a try or skip this franchise altogether it's your choice, i'm always here to give the information necessary for newcomers of the franchise

[picnokinesis]

Hello! I am back with more songs >:)

Caves from the main playlist

Epilogue from the teen playlist

Weave from the anterograde playlist

Heck yes >:D Also loving how, once again, you've picked one song that is like, THE SONG of the playlist, and then another where I'm like 'wait why did I put that one on again....' and then I relisten and I'm like oh. oh yeah.

Caves by Gregory Alan Isakov is one of THE earliest campervan au songs. I discovered it in about June 2020, and immediately wrote a scene for part 9 that has had ripple effects all the way back to part 3. I trust you all remember this part from Chapter 11 of Part 3, when the Doctor looks through the photos that were in the shoebox that Brax gave to her:

Compare this to the lyrics of Caves:

And I used to love caves Stumble out into that big sky Remember that bright hollow moon? Showed our insides on our outsides

This song is all about the Doctor and Koschei's childhood - in fact, the ONLY REASON the cave thing happens in the story is because of this song hahah. But it's also how much things have changed between them - this rift that now exists because of the Doctor's amnesia:

You go ahead There's something I forgot Walk slow and I'll catch up Let's hear the stars do their talking

And also:

Did I hear something break Was that your heart or my heart Like when the Earth shakes Then the silence that follows

The second one in particular is great because of the whole thing with the four taps - which, of course, in campervan au is meant to represent the Doctor's heartbeat and Koschei's together, one after the other. But the first one is almost like, I guess almost post-canon I guess - if these two could actually sit down and talk to each other about everything that happened, everything the Doctor has forgotten, they'd probably be able to reconcile somewhat. But emotions are far too intense for both of them. Koschei, like the Master in the show, has had his sense of identity completely shaken by the Doctor not being defined by him in the same way that he is defined by her. She's everything that he is, and his entire life is defined by her - in many ways literally, since he certainly wouldn't have gone to prison if it hadn't been for her, and even in [redacted] au where that doesn't happen, he still ends up dedicating his entire life to her in other ways. But she doesn't even remember him. (...the silence that follows...)

And then there's this part, which just makes me think of these two kids messing about, causing trouble around Skelmanthorpe, sneaking out to explore caves, and being able to just be with each other, not worrying about all the things that have hurt them and made them who they are, and being simply understood by each other without needing words.

This town closes down same time everyday Put out the smoke in your mind Let's put all these words away Lets put all these words away

Weave by Foxing is, I think, the first song by Foxing that I heard? Which is wild, because I'm obsessed with their later album (aka Draw Down the Moon, aka the most thoschei album of all time). Oh wait no, actually, I think it was possibly a different song on this same album that was recommended by spotify at the bottom of my anterograde au playlist. I remember that I liked the vibes but it didn't quite fit, so I went to listen to the rest of the album to see if there would be anything more suitable - only to find Weave, the first track, was absolutely perfect:

How have I been stuck here for so long?

In anterograde au, the Doctor can't feel time - she can't form new memories, so every day she wakes up, still thinking that it's late September 2018. She's stuck in that time and can't change that fact, and every day that fact becomes more and more disorientating. The more time that passes, the more jarring and obvious the loss of memory is.

Selling out an old soul for sales I am caught up in the guilt Making a living off of drowning Leaves me one step in the wrong Have I been stuck here for so long?

The other problem with her inability to feel time is her ability to heal. In the main au, the Doctor can't move on from what happened to her as a teenager because she doesn't remember it. In anterograde, she remembers it, but can't remember the healing itself. Koschei has a bit of a breakdown about this, when he realises that now she's always going to be trapped in this place of fear and confusion, and never going to be able to escape it. If you remember how much he wanted to save the Doctor from the analysis of the song Delilah, the idea of him failing to save her as a teenager is bad enough, but in this au, not only did he not save her now, she is now trapped in this place for the rest of her life, and that's like...the worst possible outcome, as far as he's concerned. Not only did he not save her, but he never will be able to save her. He can't fix it.

As it turns out, he's somewhat wrong about this. Pretty sure I said this when I was talking about The Funeral, but the Doctor DOES begin to heal, albeit slowly and albeit without her being consciously aware of it. But the brain remembers in other ways, and it's about two or so years in before someone points out that actually, the Doctor is more relaxed around Koschei that it clicks for him.

The winding love of life lost No longer haunted by the thought That every mark I make on emeralds are now One step in the wrong One step in the wrong One step in the wrong I’m alright, it’s time I moved on

Epilogue by The Antlers is a lot haha. I mean, this entire album is a lot, and means so much to campervan au, but this one in particular. I can't actually go too much into this one for the same reasons that I can't pull apart the song Two from the same album, but I'm just going to put these lyrics here and tell you to think about the Doctor's fear of hospitals, the way Koschei so desperately wants to save someone who won't let themselves be saved, the fact that the entire album uses this narrative of a hospice and the relationship between a nurse and a patient as a metaphor for abuse, and how both the Doctor and Koschei are constantly haunted by each other:

In a nightmare I am falling from the ceiling into bed beside you You're asleep I'm screaming, shoving you to try to wake you up And like before You've got no interest in the life you live when you're awake Your dreams still follow storylines Like fictions you would make So I lie down against your back Until we're both back in the hospital But now it's not a cancer ward We're sleeping in the morgue Men and women in blue and white They are singing all around you With heavy shovels holding earth You're being buried to your neck In that hospital bed Being buried quite alive now I'm trying to dig you out But all you want is to be buried there together

Oh, and this bit works for the main au, in the context of Koschei and the Doctor bed-sharing for ages until suddenly they weren't, but really it's for [redacted] because it's painfully accurate:

I've woken up, I'm in our bed But there's no breathing body there beside me Someone must have taken you while I was stuck asleep But I know better as my eyes adjust You've been gone for quite awhile now

ALSO! This part ends up creeping into my writing so much. I actually think it ended up in Ruth's chapter?

But you return to me at night Just when I think I may have fallen asleep Your face is up against mine And I'm too terrified to speak

Yep, it was in Ruth's chapter from Part 6 Chapter 22 (Postscript II) - but I've definitely used this for thoschei too, and I'll bet it's around somewhere in campervan au. It just might be in a scene that's on my excerpts document that never sees the light of day rip. But this album by The Antlers is important to Ruth's backstory too, as well as thoschei's, so the parallel here is very intentional