#i guess i could redo it now for fun but like nobody's ever going to read it except for me bc it's such a niche idea

[unknown-limes]

One time in high school, I wrote an essay interpreting the antagonists of Beowulf as three of the four biblical horsemen of the apocalypse (Conquest, Famine, and Death respectively, Beowulf himself was War) and it was my favorite essay I'd ever written at that point. The problem with it was I'd completely misunderstood the prompt. We were supposed to summarize and analyze the themes. It was also our final essay for the class worth 25% of the total grade. So, a week after I turned it in, I got pulled out of another class to go have a conversation with my English teacher who was utterly confused as to why I'd written this. She liked it, thought it was well done, but it wasn't really what she'd asked for. I, upon realizing my mistake and understanding how much time I'd wasted on this thing that was about to drag my A down to a C, burst into tears. She felt so bad that she ended up giving me as high a grade as she could for something so off-prompt, which still dragged me down to a low, low B, but it worked out.

[my-writings-and-musings]

I was wondering if you could do something with ambulon, possibly fluff? Love the imagines btw

Thank you for giving me an excuse to love on my favorite underappreciated boy. Also, thank you, I love all the inspiration!

The chipping paint was a sore point for Ambulon, like so many other things about himself, but unlike all his other unfortunate traits it was made so much worse by the simple fact that it was impossible to hide. Having an embarrassing altmode, the true reason for his name, even his past as a Decepticon... he could cover all that up no problem. But the constantly chipping paint job? No shielding that from anyone close enough to simply see him...

It was made worse by how often bots tried to offer tips; use a primer, pay for a proper redo, try some new sealant... He knows they mean well, but none of them know what they're talking about, not really. If it was that easy, did they really think he wouldn't have fixed it by now? The Decepticon purple paint underneath was just as fragmented as the medic coded red and white on top, and that wasn't going to be fixed by anything simple.

The truth was "Flaky Paint Syndrome" could have many causes despite manifesting as a single, embarrassing result, and while most bots had poor application or easily irritated mesh to blame, his problem was rooted in something far less corporeal.

He was anxious. Every hour of every day, something had him on edge, and the constant strain on his nerves resulted in chips of paint cracking away from his always agitated frame. It was lucky really, most bots as unsettled as he was developed spark static or overheated and warped joints, his constant buzz of disquiet just made him look somewhat sloppy. Such a personality probably made his occupation seem like a bad choice, but he was content to endure the struggle for the satisfaction of saving lives, and now that he was on the relatively stable Lost Light he was managing better than he had in a long time. Thus, he hadn't had any plans on changing his status quo anytime soon.

Until you had showed up.

He hadn't even met a human before you'd joined the crew, but even if he had, he never could have expected that you'd get tangled up in his life the way you did. Something about you had just... connected with him. Maybe it was the fact that you didn't make fun of him, either for his altmode or his appearance, and also hadn't judged him for his past... Not even the reason for his silly name had made you laugh! He just liked spending time with you, even if it was to do nothing in particular.

As a result of these feelings, a desire to impress you had formed, and he'd actually made an effort to keep up with his looks for a change. Granted, that meant daily repaints completely unaided and in secret, all in his room where he twisted and turned in a ridiculous effort to look good for the person who probably only saw him as a friend. Logic didn't play much of a role in feelings, however.

Of course, it was just his luck you'd walked in on him at this most embarrassing time for the kind of friendly visit he ordinarily would have been thrilled about.

The cry of surprise that had escaped him when the doors whooshed open was impressively high pitched for a bot of his size, but you'd probably been more focused on the paint his startled jump had sent spattering in all directions, though none of it had flown far enough to hit you by some miracle.

"Ambulon, are you okay?!" You shouted in alarm, seeing the flash of red but not his paintbrush and immediately thinking of blood. Though you knew bots bled glowing pink, the instinct to offer aid at the first impulse was just too hard to ignore. Without hesitation, you hurried to get to his side, only growing more concerned as he hid his hand behind his back. Even if this wasn't how you'd wanted your visit to go you cared far too much about the medic to be concerned about such petty things. "What's wrong? Where are you hurt?"

"Who? Me? Hurt?" He rushes in ongoing panic, backing up against a desk to put as much space between you and him as possible. Despite looking ridiculous backing away from someone as small as you, all he can think to do is hide his paintbrush in an effort to save his dignity. At least, what's left of his dignity as he sputters through an excuse made up on the spot. "I'm just, uh... You know..."

Painting a landscape? Applying color to his hab suite? Decorating his medical supplies!?

"Are you painting something?" You asked, moving your small body to catch a glimpse of a bot sized paintbrush in the hand he hadn't done a good enough job of hiding. You figuring out the problem actually seemed to make him panic more, and he twisted again to hide the offending object behind his back, looking down at you as if you'd just stumbled upon him burying a body.

"Of course not!" He said in a rush, lie falling apart when the thick application of bright red he'd applied to his chest dripped downwards from the force of his rapid twisting around. Cringing, he avoided your eyes like a criminal. It would be bad enough if you simply knew about his troubles in any level of detail, but to have personally seen his juvenile and ridiculous efforts to cover up his humiliating condition... Would it be too much to ask that he dissapear at this very moment?

"Ambulon, are you okay?"

Nope, he's not, he won't be ever again but it's very nice that you thought to ask-

"Seriously, look at me."

You're firm but not at all angry as you issue the command, starting to put the pieces together in a way that makes some sense. The medic has had paint troubles more or less his entire life, as you've heard, but they had started to dissapear right about when you showed up. Though you hadn't pried, it had been logical to assume he'd been fixing himself up. Regardless of the accuracy of your guess, however, you know that this bot needs help. As much as you care for him, you simply can't let him suffer needlessly. No matter how often he switches between seeking you out and avoiding you...

"I'm... I'm fine, I promise." He mumbles, feeling like a pitiful failure for not even thinking to lock his door. There's so much to be embarrassed by he doesn't even know where to begin being mortified, but it's obvious the fallout will be a spiral into further humiliation, so he still wants to stall. You'll laugh when you hear he's been fixing himself up in a ridiculous attempt to impress you, because of course it's absurd, and he'll never be able to show his face again...

"Why are you embarrassed about some paint? I figured bots touched themselves up every now and then." You said innocently, baffled as to why he'd react in such a way. Rodimus bragged about redoing his colors all the time, so you'd figured there were no issues in doing so. Was there some other reason this could be considered embarrassing? The only possible explanation required you to go on a bit of a limb, but for his sake you decided to chance it, gulping once before you hesitantly spoke up. "Did you do this for me? Have you been redoing the colors since I got here?"

Ambulon flinched, and you realized you'd hit the nail on the head.

"I'm sorry-"

"For what?" You asked incredulously, head swimming with emotions clustering to be felt first. There was surprise, giddy delight, bashfulness, and even confoundment at the idea you could be in this situation. A part of you wanted to celebrate, but there was still far too much to sort through at the moment. His look of hopelessness exemplified the problem.

"For being ridiculous! Look at me! Pretending if I touch up some rough patches, it'll actually do anything? Ha!" He said, giving voice to the unpleasant uncertainty that lurked just below the surface. Drowning in his insecurity, he frowned hard, the absurdity of what he'd been trying to do all but slapping him in the face. Forget the species difference, you were a vibrant and charming individual who deserved far better than he. What had he even been trying to do? The answer came out of him as he sunk down to the ground and let the brush fall, hugging his knees as the weight of it all pulled him down. "I wanted so badly to look good for you, I lost track of common sense..."

"But Ambulon-"

Unable to hear you, he kept right on going, lost in his own little fog of shame. "You weren't supposed to know... Nobody was supposed to know... But I blew it-"

"Ambulon!"

You couldn't take it any more. The heartbreaking sight of the bot you thought was so delightful tearing himself apart was too much. Ignoring any common sense, you put yourself out for his sake, opening up your heart in the hope that your own vulnerabilities might help him feel better. A tender hand on his own preceded a gentle expression of reasurance as you looked into his optics.

"I'm flattered you want to look your best for me, really. But it's not necessary." You said, suddenly aware that your heart was hammering as you prepared to confess. It was probably about time you cut to the chase, after spending these months bobbing along in uncertainty, but that didn't make it any less scary to be so open. Hopefully it would all end well... "I think you look fine just how you are."

Ambulon felt his processor go blank, and all that he could do was fall back on his usual attitude with a surprised retort. "But I'm a mess!"

You laughed, but not in the way he'd feared. It was a good natured, loving, laughing with him and not at him kind of sound. "I don't care about some paint chips now and then, you goof. Why do you think I'm here?" All of a sudden your fear seemed to be turning into confidence, the anxieties you'd created for yourself melting away as the truth came out. Seeing a towering alien laid low by your simple feelings definitely made it much easier to express them. "I wanted to see you, purple and red and all, because I like you."

Something clicked inside of him upon hearing those words. So much shame and fear dissolved in what felt like an instant, his optics pushing up with his cheeks as he smiled the biggest and happiest smile he could, optics brightening the whole while. It was what he'd wanted more than anything but feared he'd never receive. Unfurling his legs, he leaned down just a tad to get closer. Heedless to everything about himself that had bothered him so much, he spoke softly in return.

"I really like you too."

"I know." You replied softly, looking to the brush that had fallen to the floor and the paint still drying on his frame as an idea hatched in your head. The two of you had a lot to talk about, it seemed, and you had the perfect way to pass the time while doing so. "Now, how about I help you finish up? Don't want all this to go to waste."

Realizing what you were suggesting, he picked up a much smaller paintbrush and handed it to you, still smiling as he helped you onto his desk where the paints laid out for use.

"I'd like that."

[jamaiskookie]

bangtan headcanon: OT7 IN HIGH SCHOOL 📓✂️

☞ genre; fluff, crack

☞ warnings; excessively stupid

masterlist  u wanna talk to highschool!bangtan?

《KIM SEOKJIN》

class clown

always manages to sneak kimbap in class, and stuffs his face despite being in the front row. 

he’s alarmingly good at sneaking food into places. 

cafeteria ladies love jin so much. 

and every christmas he brings in his perfected sugar cookies and never shares them.

(he’s in the cooking club)

((he’s the only one in the cooking club))

will interrupt the teacher to make a bad joke. 

“yes so helium is the fo- oh yes seokjin?“

“i was reading an excellent book about helium, i couldn’t put it down!! ahHAHAHHYUKHYUKAHHAHAHHA“ 

nobody’s?? really sure?? if he’s dating namjoon or not?? it’s the schools biggest mystery, there’s currently a betting pool going on worth about $500

likes to annoy namjoon and yoongi about holding bake sales. 

is surprisingly good at planning parties?? but never hosts them?? hoseok always gets him to plan his parties and he even planned prom!!

he’s particularly proud with the theme he came up with. 

‘zombie meets elegance‘ 

it was actually pretty nicely pulled off (much to the shock of the entire student body) 

《MIN YOONGI》

student council president 

takes his job very!! seriously!! 

fights with the principal on funding daily. 

doesn’t come to school without coffee and resting bitch face.

even the teachers are afraid of this short little emo boy. 

is the only one who actually wears the school uniform properly with the little tie and jacket because that’s how you show school spirit. 

definitely that closeted gay in high school who thinks nobody knows about his homosexuality when in fact, everyone knows.

(nobody has the guts to bring it up to him though)

“hyung why are you staring at jimin’s as-“

 “-NO WHY GET BACK TO WORK” 

actually enjoys doing morning announcements. 

“make sure to check out jin’s dumb bake sale i think he’s selling brownies for some charitable reason anYWAYS time for min’s advice column!!“ 

min’s advice column is yoongi’s free therapy. namjoon suggested adding an advice column to the school paper so now yoongi just judges his classmates’s decisions gives subpar advice. 

“i personally think you have no chance with this girl, but you’re clearly hell bent on asking her out. it’s a dumb choice. good luck.“ 

《JUNG HOSEOK》

fuckboy

throws obnoxious parties at his parent’s huge ass mansion. 

somehow?? is?? the nicest? playboy??? evER??

will respect your girl’s boundaries but also would 300% hit on her when you’re not looking. 

aftercare king wILL cuddle with you and help you clean up or whatever until jimin eventually comes in screaming. 

his school id says “hobi 💦👅” ... noone knows how he managed to do it (taehyung thinks he seduced the secretary) 

surprisingly good at romance even though he deTests dating

“it’s a waste of time, money, and ass.“  “- what?”

gives everyone dating advice whether they want it or nOt- he lives his *shhh very secret* romantic fantasies through his best friends. 

once helped taehyung ask out his girlfriend... they’re still going strong!!

defo has daddy issues that he never talks about,, maybe if a girl finds it sexc™️ in that kind of messed-up-bad-boy-she-could-fix vibe he’ll bring it up

kinda failing science lmao he probably needs a tutor.. but will never admit he needs a tutor for sake of his pride. 

most definitely has had sex in the janitor’s closet a couple times, up until yoongi caught him once, reported him to the school board and got him suspended... for a month. 

(yoongi has no regrets, that was the best month of his life.)

《KIM NAMJOON》

student vice president

honestly would probably be the council president and is the most qualified for it but can’t be bothered.

plus he hates public speaking and the president has to speak at assemblies.  

genuinely enjoys learning!! bUT HATES GROUP PROJECTS

because every single fucking time taehyung and jimin pester him about teaming up and he ends up doing like 75% of the work.

not because anyone forces him to or anything.

it’s because jimin and tae are such dumbasses every time they finish their work namjoon has a sudden uRGE TO REDO ALL OF IT BC THEY GOT IT WRONG.

tries to take all AP subjects.

gives up and drops half of them by the second semester.

great student but also will “no yoongi i don’t want to fucking play basketball i've been awake for thirty hours trying to finish this goddamn essay that’s due tomorrow. wHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY DIDN’T I DO IT EARLIER I WAS BUSY TAKING CARE OF MY BONSAI TREES.“

started the school paper!! it’s called “persona post”

writes about actual relevant things like political events and global problems, but everyone else just writes about school gossip *sigh*

although that one column examining hobi’s sex and dating life was a pretty fun piece of writing to read through. 

he sits in the back of the classroom and never raises his hand even though he knows the answer like 95% of the time.

definitely has a crush on seokjin

《PARK JIMIN》

the one everyone has a crush on

and when i say everyone i mean everyone, even hoseok has had a crisis over park jimin. 

(jungkook is definitely president of his fan club) ((in case it wasn’t clear, he’s dating jungkook))

school’s golden boy, basically gets away with everything with a bat of an eye... and the most infuriating thing is he doesn’t even realise it. 

“omg jimin!! you’re so cute!! this shirt looks sO good on you, can i touCH?” “omg thank you i didn’t think it fit well because it’s my boyfriends but that’s so sweet!!” “boy... hm?”

mom friend: sweetest bitch alive and is always worrying about his friends but everyone knows he’s secretly really fucking kinky.

(again, jungkook has no comment)

the kind of person who celebrates christmas in june. 

literally- he starts putting decorations in his locker and around the school mid june. by november, he’s wearing reindeer ears to school.

*lowkey kind of a nerd* genuinely enjoys studying with namjoon.

“well, studying with anybody else is just too stressful!! plus, namjoon’s so chill. he doesn’t look like it but he actually is super sweet and nice!!!“

“... please take those reindeer ears off, it’s embarrassing.“ 

half of the school would probably cut off an arm to sleep with him. seriously, he gets offers like everYDAY it’s kinda getting tiRING

is considering starting a youtube channel where he just takes videos of all the dogs and babies he meets throughout the day. 

“idk i think vlogging would be fun“

《KIM TAEHYUNG》

art hoe

nEVER FUCKING STUDIES OR PAYS ATTENTION BUT GETS DECENT GRADES.

the definition of bisexual mess, WILL trip when he sees hot people.

exclusively wears wired gold glasses and soft neutral sweaters to school. if it’s a good day he’ll wear a beanie. on special occasions he’ll maybe throw in some fUN loafers.

dyes his hair to match ~the vibes~ of that season. the most recent wild hair colour is cool toned teal. 

jungkook said he looks like leprechaun shit, but tae really likes it. 

tried to go vegan countless times, failed each and every one when he passed by a mc donalds. 

carries his sketchbook wherever he goes. he has that thing around 24/7, 100% would not be surprised if he slept with it under his pillow.

really quiet until he has a point to make;; like that time where he launched into a three hour screaming lecture on how phineas and ferb is an animated masterpiece.

drinks tea purely for the aesthetic of it. 

goes to hipster coffee shops to pretend to study... ends up watching barbie movies and critiquing them on the writing blog that he thinks nobody knows about. 

watches anime in class (he recently rewatched all of ATLA for the third time,, failed his econ class but worth it!!1!!1)

《JEON JUNGKOOK》

preppy jock

once again, everyone is attracted to him, but he’s so whipped for jimin everyone’s crush fades away once they talk to him because-

“oh it’s so cool that you have a dog!! you know, i think jimin kind of looks like a pomeranian sometimes it’s sO CUTE- hm? oh jimin’s my boyfriend.“

... it’s disgustingly adorable. 

plays almost every sport and is somehow always the team captain. not out of obligation or with leadership skills or anything, everyone else just votes for him. 

mess with his friends and he’ll put a stink bomb in your locker. 

his nickname is “golden baby” because he’s good at everything, teachers love him so much. 

grades? sTELLAR. sports? he’s done them ALL. creativity? pAINTED THE SCHOOL MURAL. service? volunteers at a pet shelter whenever he can (the bunnies love him for some reason) 

everyone either is 

a) in love w him, wants to fuck

b) jealous of him but is also secretly gay for him

pretends to not know how talented and cool he is and plays it off super cool

proceeds to fail, the only thing he’s bad at is humble bragging. 

“wow omg lol i got a 100 on my bio test and yesterday i got a hole in one in golf, my first time playing it but it’s chill i guess hahhah day in my life amirite.“

**this headcanon is the start of the bangtan school series, stay tuned**

wanna be tagged in school series or my writing? here or send me an ask

[flying-nightwing]

Sparks Must Fly to Start a Fire (2/2)

Hellooooo again people. This is the second part as promised! It concludes the small serie, for a grand total of 12.5k words, which is higher than my average if I’m honest 😂 I had so much fun writing this, thanks anon! I hope it was up to your expectations! Enjoy part 2 xx

Masterlist in bio // pinned

Pairing: Jason Todd x reader

Word count: 7106

Warnings: violence, language, a bit of trauma

Day 9

“... There is no development in the case, all search parties came up with nothing. The GCPD now believes the disappearance of the young woman has a direct link to the major leak of incriminating documents that were shared to the DA’s office. The investigation, conducted by commissioner Gordon, might sound the fall of an empire of organized crime in Gotham if it goes through trial…”

“I was supposed to marry Vitto, today” You spoke up with mild boredom over yet another news story about you. You hadn’t realized time had flown this fast ever since you betrayed your family.

“Oh, oh wow” Jason hadn’t expected that. “Why would anyone do that?”

In the last days you had gotten into a semi-comfortable routine. The bickering was still very much present, but the snark had considerably deescalated. You had now tasted every snack he told you regular people ate, even those energy drinks he seemed to like to consume during long drives. You had even taken a cautious liking to the canned soups, which remained the only thing you knew how to make on a stove. Still, you didn’t escape Jason’s mockery everytime you didn’t know how to do something “simple”. You didn’t think you’d ever escape it, no matter what.

“It’s not like I had a choice” You said as a matter of fact, leaning back on the headrest of the car. “Women in my world are either trophies or mothers, depending on whether or not they’re still in their prime”

“Let me guess, you were to be Vitto’s trophy?”

“Bingo” 

“How old is he, like 50?” He snorted.

“46” You corrected. “Not that it makes any difference”

Jason gagged. “Guess you dodged a serious bullet there”

“God, marrying that manwhore plagued my nightmares for weeks” You chuckled, looking up at the roof of the car. “Hope he rots in jail once this is over”

“Arranged marriage, uh?” He said, sending you a quick uncomfortable glance. Something akin to remorse flashed very briefly across his face, but it was gone as soon as it came. You only nodded. “Sorry about that”

“Don’t be” You brushed off. “That was essentially their downfall in the end. Half of the reasons why I leaked the documents was to prove to my family I am not a chew toy to throw to the dogs. A power grab was out of the question, especially after one of my distant cousins, Alaina, tried and got gunned down. I thought if I was to get killed, I’d go down trying to be better”

Your words were followed by silence, and you realized you had said too much. You didn’t want or need his pity. You cleared your throat and looked away. Soon enough, Jason pulled into a shady looking motel and stopped the car. You glanced in disgust at the overall state of the motel, thinking about how it was definitely the worst one you had stayed in so far, even if you hadn’t stepped foot in yet. The vacancy sign was flashing against the sunset in the distance, and it gave you serious serial killer vibes. 

You grabbed your travel bag from the backseat and followed Jason in. The neons inside were barely functioning, casting a harsh glow on the lobby, if anyone could call it a lobby. The man behind the counter looked up at the sound of the little bell above the door and stood up slowly, showing off the grease stains on his yellowed wife-beater. He gave the impression of being just as crooked as his motel, especially with the creepy grin he gave the both of you, but especially to you. Jason walked up to the counter, unbothered by the general mood of the place.

“Good evening” The clerk greeted with a smoke clouded voice, glancing in between you two. “For an hour or two?”

You grimaced while Jason blinked slowly. Then, he smiled one of his smiles that looked normal, but hid something dangerous when you looked close. You had found yourself on the other end of those more times than not ever since he became your unofficial bodyguard. “Got anything for the night?”

The clerk laughed while you wanted to hit him. Hit them both, actually. 

“I like your style, kid” He wrote something on his clipboard before turning around and grabbing a key from the wall. “That’ll be 60”

Jason took out three 20$ bills from his wallet and handed them in exchange for the keys. Jason however leaned further on the counter. “How thick are the walls in there?”

“You sly dog” He chortled, and Jason joined. “Don’t worry, if your girl ain’t much of a screamer nobody will know what you be doing. Here, take that, if you want some more fun”

“Perfect” His lips curled up as he accepted the flyer handed to him. You caught a glimpse of the bright green paper, announcing some kind of escort service. “Thanks”

“Aight kid, room 141. Have fun”

You forced yourself to ignore the lusty eyes he sent your way and snatched the keys from Jason’s hand, hurrying to the room. “What was that?” You hissed under your breath.

“You’re in a place full of suspicious people” He hissed back. “You gotta act suspicious with them or they’ll single you out” 

“Did you really have to make it seem like I was a prostitute?” You said as you unlocked the door and pushed it open. You stepped in and let him in, before locking again the door behind him.

“There’s nothing wrong with being…” He trailed off as he halted his steps. His frame blocked the sight of the room for you, so you didn’t know what he was talking about. Was it dirty? Were there rodents? “Oh you must be fucking kidding me”

You finally peeked around him, to see only one bed rather than the two queens he usually asked. He had forgotten this time to ask, and the clerk had naturally insinuated you’d want to be together. How could he have not?

“At least it’s a King bed this time” You sniggered. “More space”

“I’m gonna get it changed” He turned around to go back to the reception desk.

“Wasn’t it you who said not to act suspicious?” You raised a challenging eyebrow. “If you go back there and ask for two beds, won’t that ruin all that acting you did over there?”

He spun around once again, facing you with narrowed eyes. He obviously didn’t like you using his logic against him. “Right.” He then side stepped you and went straight to the windows. He closed the blinds and proceeded to check the walls for… Whatever. He looked strange doing it. 

“And right now you’re…” You trailed off, trying to find why he was all but caressing the dirty walls. 

“Checking for cameras” He finished, looking inside a lamp. “Those motels sometimes have hidden cameras and the owners resell the tapes on porn sites”

“Oh god” You reacted, horrified. And he had the audacity to paint you off as a criminal, when those kinds of people existed. You thought you would be sick. He paused, sending you what you thought was a concerned glance--but it couldn’t be--before he returned to his examination.

“That’s why I’m making sure there’s none here” He mumbled.

You nodded, then carefully made your way to the bed. Despite the overwhelming scent of cigarettes latched onto the fabric, the sheet seemed relatively clean, at least for the general quality of the establishment. You dropped your bag in front of the dresser beside you and sat on the edge of the bed as Jason finished his inspection.

“All clear” He announced before taking out his gun from his belt and putting it on the nightstand. “You should rest, we won’t stay here too long. Also, if you can avoid the shower, I’d recommend you wait until we are somewhere else”

“I hate it here” 

“Yeah well, our disastrous stop to Target has kind of tied our hands, princess” He shrugged, like it was your fault you had been found. “So we gotta settle for even less if you don’t want a redo”

“Will you ever stop calling me that?” You glared at him.

“What, princess?” He asked rhetorically, then paused and pretended to think. “No, no I don’t think so”

“You’re insufferable” You scoffed, climbing up further on the bed.

“I wouldn’t get under the covers either” He warned as you were about to pull back the comforter, totally ignoring your comment on his general attitude. “I doubt they’re washing them real good”

You shuddered in disgust as you instead opted for bringing your knees to your chest, hoping the room wouldn’t get too cold during the night.

Day 10

You didn’t if it was your state still clouded by sleep, or the shock that made you see the scene happen in slow motion. 

Jason was waking up, sitting in the bed at a reasonable distance from you as your eyes cracked open. Still, you saw the sequence clearly. His back tensed and his head snapped to the window, then his eyes widened. He reacted in a fraction of second, grabbing his gun on the fly and diving on your side. You had barely the time to register his body colliding with yours that the first machine gun went off. You hit the ground hard, but you didn’t feel anything in the spike of adrenaline and paralyzing fear that surged through you. You could only close your eyes as bullets rained over you, and yet you weren’t even touched by the wood and cotton flying everywhere as his body caged yours in protection. His string of curse was audible above the commotion, which let you know he wasn’t gravely wounded yet. Yet. 

There was a pause in the shooting, but your eyes were still ringing so loud you didn’t hear him call your name at first. You opened your eyes, disoriented.

“Hey, hey stay with me” He hurried his words, glancing over his shoulders. “Roll under the bed, don’t come out until I come and get you, and if they try to get you, hit them with anything you find, aim for the head”

You could only nod as he helped you get under the bed, and for one you couldn’t even be bothered to notice how filthy it was under there. You were terrified for you, but also for Jason who would face those people with a handgun only. You just hoped his skills hadn’t been exaggerated, or else it would be bad news for everyone. 

There was chatter in between the gun fires, but you couldn’t decipher the voices. You counted there were at least six different tones of shout. However, judging by the familiar smugness of the exchange, you could have sworn it was Jason mocking them and not the other way around. It made you wonder exactly what kind of security he had done if he was taking the time to be smug in a one against five fight. Still, you were glad to have him on your side rather than against you.

“Hey”

You jumped and screamed at the sudden face appearing to your left, but let out a breath of relief when you saw it was Jason. He helped you out from under the bed, his glance shifty in between the door and windows. The room was a mess, he was covered in blood you doubted was his, and he was still on guards.

“So, we need to leave now” He said, already picking up his bag and yours. You noticed a second gun now strapped on his thigh and various new weapons in a utility belt. Where he got that was a mystery, but you didn’t question it. He gently pressed you along the bodies dropped at the threshold of the room and in the hallway until you reached the reception desk. You counted seven bodies. The same creepy clerk was cowering behind his desk, a darker stain on the crotch of his pants. Jason gave him an overall look and sighed, shaking his head. Still, he paused in front of him and dropped the bags.

“You son of a bitch” He chuckled lowly, menacingly. “You sold us out, didn’t you?”

He whined in response, confirming Jason’s suspicion.

“How much did you cash on the tip? 3k? 4k?” He taunted further, tsking in disapproval. “Can’t trust anyone these days”

“Please, I needed the money--”

Jason shot two bullets in his head. “Don’t care”

He turned on his heels and grabbed the bags again, bringing you along as gently as he could. You went outside, but he gestured for you to wait at a good distance from the car. He went over and inspected it, taking two devices off from two different places. Bombs, you figured. He threw the first one through the windows of the reception, then the other, he shot while in the air. An explosion went off, shaking your stance on the ground as the motel’s central area went up in flames. 

“Oops, gas leak” He said blandly. “Come on, let’s get out of here”

You climbed in the passenger seat, clutching your now all dusted up bag for support. You needed to hold onto something while you came to terms with the repeated attempts on your life in the last fifteen minutes. Jason drove off, leaving the smoking building off to burn. 

“Sorry you had to see that back in the lobby” He spoke when you were far enough.

“It’s fine” You shook your head. “He deserved it”

He blinked, a tiny bit stunned. “Hey are you okay?”

“Should I not be?” It came out weaker than intended. “I’m way in over my head with this”

“No, no, you did the right thing” He tried to reassure you, or that’s what you thought he was trying to do. Either way, it went right over your mental downward spiralling.

“I should have stayed in my lane” You kept mumbling, flexing your fingers on your bag. “I’d still be doing my thing, away from literal murder attempts in crappy motel rooms”

“Hey hey hey” He lifted a hand up. “May I remind you that you’d be married to Vitto fucking Maroni right now if you didn’t go rogue? That thought alone should give you relief”

You let out an uncontrolled laugh. What has your life become?

“Truth is I don’t know what I’m doing” You admitted, your voice cracking. “All I’ve achieved it to piss everyone off”

“Yeah you did piss everyone off, but so do I on a daily basis” He replied, making your frown in confusion. “Sometimes pissing everyone else is the only way to get things going, y’know?”

You blinked a couple of times. “I literally don’t”

He opened his mouth to reply, then closed it immediately. He then took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. “All I’m saying is, doing the right thing is an ugly job. It’s hard and messy and fucks with you, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try and do it anyway. I know this is all new for you, and this is a rather harsh welcome party, but you gotta fight through it”

You nodded, casting your eyes on him at last. His skin was reddened by the drying blood on his face and hair, and his clothes were dirty and torn. Amidst the cooling blood, you noticed a steady flow of brighter red coming off a hole in the sleeve of his t-shirt, widening the already big stain around it. 

“You’re bleeding”

He looked down at his side, unfazed. “Oh right, a bullet got me on the initial wave”

“We need to get it out and close the wound” Your eyes found his for a brief second, before his glance returned to the road.

“It can wait” He downplayed it, probably by a force of habit. 

“It looks like it’s bleeding a lot” You insisted.

“I’ll be fine--”

“It’s my fault you’re hurt” You interrupted him. You felt like you had at least to do something for him, especially since he just saved your life twice. Besides, you needed to focus on something else than what had just gone down. “Let me help”

He took a deep breath, then gave a little nod. He pulled over at the next gas station and parked the car, then went to his trunk, picking his first aid kit while you went to ask for the bathroom key. You joined him at the car and went to find the bathroom in the back of the building, locking the door behind you for privacy. You stood beside him as he rummaged through it, handing you a pair of pliers and disinfecting gauzes. You waited for him to take off his jacket, laying your supplies on the counter, then carefully rolled the sleeve of his t-shirt. You grabbed a clean gauze to stop the bleeding, gently pressing on the wound.

“Have you done this before?”

You didn’t see his question come, but you answered nonetheless. “Yes, a few times” You said. “On my older brothers. That’s something we learn, just in case we are the ones to patch up our husbands”

“Is this really how you were treated?” He asked, his voice surprisingly soft compared to what you had gotten so far. “Like a service wife in training?”

“Pretty much” You nodded with a weak scoff. You carefully checked the wound, and the bleeding had almost stopped. You grabbed the alcohol gauze and tore the pack open. “There isn’t much choice but to obey”

He didn’t even flinch when you cleaned the wound. “When I pulled the gun on you the first day we met, you said it wasn’t the first time somebody did that to you” He began, recalling the events from ten days ago. “What happened the other times?”

You put the bloodied gauzes aside and grabbed the pliers, disinfecting them with a smaller alcohol wipe before going for the bullet. “Would you believe me if I said something along the lines of wildly opposing my union to the Maroni family?” 

His lips curled up slightly, but his teeth were clenched as you tried to grab the bullet well lodged in his flesh. You managed to get a good grip on it and slowly pulled it out. You immediately covered the wound again with clean gauze and dropped the bullet in the trash pile. 

“Bullet’s intact, you should be fine” You said, holding the gauze with one hand and searching for a needle and a stitching thread with the other. 

“How old were you when it happened?” 

You paused, staring at his arm. How old were you back then, when your father announced you’d be part of a two-way deal with the Maroni family? Not very old, that was for sure. You pulled the gauze away and sanitized the needle, then passed the thread in the loop. “17, I think”

“You were just a child” It came out more like a statement than a question. You shrugged before beginning the stitches. He still wasn’t flinching as the needle came in and out of his skin,making it easier for you to do a clean job. You finally tied the thread and cut it with the scissors he handed you. 

“I’m sorry I pulled you into this mess” You apologized as you wrapped the wound with yet some other clean gauze and bandaged it. “I… I didn’t plan this through at all. I felt the doors close on me and I acted without even thinking of the real consequences. I thought I would be strong enough to go with it, turns out I’m not”

You had been all bark and no bite, you could see that now. You came in strong, acting like nothing could get to you, like the threat was just an imaginary bound to keep you in place. You made a bold move to cross it, and now you could clearly see how dangerous the waters you were threading in actually were. It wasn’t child’s play anymore, it was real, and you caved under the pressure on your first real trial.  

He turned around as he pulled his sleeve down, facing you. He was in your space, but it didn’t feel like all the other times. His presence wasn’t threatening. “You don't have to apologize” There was something genuine in his eyes. “And to pull off what you did needs strength, even if you don’t realize it yet. Your reaction to almost being killed doesn’t change that fact”

“It certainly doesn’t feel that way”

“Trust me, princess” His little teasing smile returned. “Someone who can hold her own against me like you did is not weak”

“I was just mean” You blinked in surprise, letting out a small chuckle. “I think that’s different”

“See, still arguing” His smile widened. You had known him for ten days, but you had gotten used to him being a certain way. This light and sincere attitude he had now was, to say the least, unusual for you. When he wasn’t constantly sneering, you noticed his features better. His blue eyes carried a kind spark, the type you found in a natural caretaker. The harsh angles of his jaw and cheekbones shaped a handsome face, decorated by little silver scars blending with his freckles. He was like a fallen angel shining through a broken halo, dangerous and protective, but only if you took the time to look past the burned wings. The unflattering white light of the bathroom made him look worn out, but it didn’t change anything to the raw beauty of his face. His bloody knuckles came in soft contact with your cheek, like a feather gliding on a cloud in the sky. His eyes never left yours, and even if they did, you felt like you’d follow them whichever direction they went. 

He was tall, considerably so. He hovered over you like a safety blanket, your own shield from the dangers stalking you outside the door. At that moment, you had trouble understanding how his proximity had once filled you with so much unease you felt like hiding away, because all you could feel now was an all consuming calm. There was however a pulse that was alive, one that was begging you to get closer. He seemed to have felt it too; his movement was slow, letting you more than enough time to back off. As his lips slowly got closer to yours, you know you didn’t want to move away. You filled the distance separating you from him and met him there in a gentle kiss to test the water first. 

It didn’t take long for you to lose control. All the emotion of the last days that had bottled up were let to run wild in between you two like an electric current, surrendering your every sense to him. Your hands went to the back of his neck for support, because god knew you needed it. His arms sneaked behind your back as he pushed further into you, quickening the pace of the kiss and clouding your mind. Tongues battled in a war that was already won, knowing in one way or another he’d be the victor. You could feel all the tension, all the frustration, all the anger and all the guilt coming in strong before burning like dry wood in a bonfire. Were there any versions of this that didn’t end where you were? It seemed impossible. 

You didn’t want to open your eyes just yet when he pulled away, reluctant to even let go. He captured your lips in a couple of kisses before fully letting you catch your breath.

“Well” His voice was barely over a whisper over the panting. “That might be one way to settle an argument”

“Then I might pick more arguments” Your lips lifted in a small grin.

“And I might not object to that” His eyes were bright with amusement. “Besides, I might have gotten around to like that smart mouth of yours”

“Oh, have you now?”

“Might” He corrected.

“Sure” For the first time in what felt like forever, you actually smiled. You slowly retracted your arms from his neck, letting him stand straight again. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here and put as much distance as we can from this motel” He said, but it lacked the patronizing tone it once contained. It was even like he didn’t actually want to leave just yet, but had to, or both of your safety. You shared the sentiment.

You packed the first aid kit and burned the bloody gauzes in the sink, then killed the fire and returned the key to the counter. You drove away shortly after, confident things might just be alright this time.

Day 16

You had circled back to the first place you had stayed in, the little cabin so far in the woods you were almost sure nobody would find you, or at least not yet. 

Jason had told you he had installed security devices on the dirt road to make sure he was aware of anybody driving up, as well as the traps he had set in the woods. Once again, it reinforced your idea that his job experience might not have been a traditional one. You frankly didn’t mind, as you were in no position to judge a potential criminal past. Besides, you believed anything he did couldn’t be worse than what your family or the Maronis did on a daily basis. 

You had woken up when the sun was already high in the sky, and to your surprise Jason had still been there, on his back and staring at the ceiling. When you had turned around on your side, he had mimicked you to come face to face with you, not talking at all. His wound on his arm had stopped bleeding during the night, for which you were thankful for. It eased your guilt to see it was healing well. You had stayed there for what seemed like hours, but it was comfortable. 

“I meant to ask,” He began, his voice soft and husky from the morning. “Why did you go to Bruce with the leak?”

You blinked slowly, tilting your head slightly to the side. “Well, I couldn’t go to the police, it was out of the question. I couldn’t trust any of them to pursuit this case”

“But what made you trust Bruce in particular?”

“I… I like to listen when people talk. Before, it gave me the impression I was part of the family business and not just an accessory, and that way I got to hear bits and parts of the discussions conducted behind closed doors” You began. “More times than not I would hear how Wayne Enterprises projects got in the way of their plans, and how Bruce Wayne would always do something to undermine them legally. So after I stole the intel, there was really one way I was certain would yield results, one person I was certain would have all the interests in the world to see this trial happen”

“That’s…” He trailed off, an impressed expression on his face. “That’s surprisingly smart”

“Surprisingly?” You raised an eyebrow.

“For someone who had no idea how to use a can opener, that is” 

You slapped his chest as he let out a laugh; he was so proud of his joke. “Hey, I learned!”

“I know, I know” He chuckled, reaching his hand and brushing a rogue hair strand away from your face. You had noticed as the days passed that he seemed to favor the little touches and the unspoken rather than obvious and obnoxious displays. You knew he was more of the quiet type when he wasn’t arguing with you, always working in his corner and doing his stuff. It hadn’t really changed ever since the gas station moment, but this time he would steal little glances, brush his hand against yours when he’d change gears in the car, or make sure he took out a bowl for you as well when you made your canned soup. “You adapted better than I thought you would, considering the entire lifestyle change you had to go through in the last two weeks”

“I didn’t have much choice, did I?” You grinned. 

“Nope, not at all, princess” He pushed himself on his elbows and leaned down to kiss you. You smiled onto his lips, welcoming the slow movements of him against you. However, you gently pushed him back after a moment, knowing if he had it his way, you’d stay there for hours. 

“Jason” You said his name when he was visibly trying to distract you again with butterfly kisses on your jaw, only pausing to give you wide, innocent eyes. Insufferable. “I have to go take a shower”

“I’ll come with” He shrugged.

“What?”

“Yeah” He nodded. “Listen. You hired me to protect you, so that’s what I’m going to do”

“From what?” You laughed at his serious tone.

“Water’s cold”

“So NOW you want to protect me from the cold water?” You raised an eyebrow. “That surely wasn’t the discourse you held two weeks ago”

“People change, princess” He sighed exaggeratedly before getting up and walking to your side of the bed. “Come on, you said it yourself, you’ve got a shower to take”

You rolled your eyes, but nonetheless accepted the hand he held out for you. You went to the bathroom and undressed, then managed to get into the relatively small shower, your back to Jason. He was so tall he actually shielded you from the water from the showerhead when he turned the shower on, getting all the burning cold on his back instead. 

“See?” He chuckled. “No cold water”

“But how will I wash myself if the water doesn’t get to me?” You asked, looking at him over your shoulder. He stared blankly at you, like he didn’t think of that.

“Let me worry about it” He dismissed, making you laugh. 

“Alright, alright”

He began slowly rubbing your skin with his wet hands, spreading water indirectly. His fingertips were still cold, but you knew for a fact it was slightly better than the direct flow from the tap. Goosebumps erupted all over your arms and back, both from the sudden change of temperature and his touch. You closed your eyes, enjoying the contrast in between the water and his still warm chest. He wet your hair, combing it with his hands, before he put the shampoo in and made it lather. Immediately, you recognized the smell.

“Is this your shampoo?” You asked, your eyes opening.

“Mhh”

“I thought you didn’t like when people used your stuff” 

“Technically, I’m using it”

“Still!” You replied. “You practically threatened me last time I dared wear your shampoo”

“Truth is” He leaned in, his lips almost pressed against your ear. “It kinda drove me hog fucking wild to have you prancing around smelling like me”

Your eyes widened and the back of your neck heated enough for you to warm the water dripping down your back. You gulped, unable to answer that as it came as a shock for you that you have had another effect on him aside from pissing him off. He chuckled at your lack of comeback, his hot breath fanning your jaw. He slowly rinsed the soap out of your hair, then began washing your skin. His hands massaged your muscles as they went, making you sigh in contentment. At this point, you had backed so much into him you were just as much subject to the direct contact of the water as him, but you didn’t care. 

He trailed small kisses from behind your ears down to your shoulder before pausing there, as if he was hesitant. He lifted his head slightly, and you could see his stare right on you from your peripheral vision. 

“I need to tell you something”

You were surprised by the sudden seriousness of his words, but you tilted your head to show him you were listening.

“I’m the Red Hood”

You blinked slowly, registering his words. Well, that certainly explained things. You even wondered how you didn’t see it sooner, but now that he mentioned it, it had been rather obvious. “... Congratulations?”

You could feel he wasn’t expecting this reaction. “That’s… That’s all?” He stuttered. “You’re okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You turned your head to look at him properly. “You saved my life so many times, I am not about to complain how you did it”

“But I did a lot of bad too,” He argued. “Some things that might change your opinion”

“You’re seriously asking me, who comes from a crime family, if I’m okay with you doing crimes?” You deadpanned. His face changed, as if he was reevaluating his entire argument.

“When you put it like this…” He trailed off, nodding. You could however see the relief in his eyes at your acceptance of his double identity. Especially with the kind of job he was doing here with you, you could only imagine how blurred the line in between the two personas must have been at times. 

“Why did you tell me?” It was a gentle question, full of wonder as to what pushed him to reveal to you such an important, personal detail about himself. Your hand sneaked up and covered his still on your forearm.

“I thought you should know” He muttered back, his voice barely rising over the noise of the water hitting the shower’s floor. “You never asked what I did before, or how I took care of seven hired guns at the motel. I wasn’t sure if you just avoided it, or…”

“Don’t worry” You interrupted him softly. “Moral compasses are no issues with me”

His lips reached yours under a freezing rain, your bodies numb to anything but each other.

Day 25

A few days ago Jason received a call from Bruce.

The arrests had been made and the trial date had been set. As you had predicted, they tried to keep the relative information about it under wraps so you wouldn’t be aware it was happening. But fortunately, with Bruce’s quiet oversight of the process, he had managed to relay the details on time. You hadn’t been very far from Gotham when the news dropped, but you were still thankful for the heads up. It had given you time to plan your safe return into the boundaries of the city, staying hidden in another one of Jason’s safehouses until the day came for you to be a witness in the trial.

It was now in progress, it had just started some minutes ago. You were staying in an adjacent room that was guarded by people under Bruce’s paycheck, with Jason laying on a couch behind you, looking at his phone while you were getting ready. You were thankful that you had brought a second designer outfit with you, because you weren’t sure your gray t-shirt from Target with the oversized men’s pants you inherited on your first day with Jason would have looked very professional or credible. You did your makeup carefully with the basic products you had, then took a look at yourself in the mirror. You smothered the creases in your blouse and made sure the belt wasn’t twisted in the loops of your slacks, and sighed. 

Jason stood up from the couch and walked to you, stopping behind you and sneaking an arm around your waist. He snuggled his nose in the crook of your neck and placed a small kiss there. “Am I an asshole for thinking you look better in a 30 bucks outfit?”

You laughed despite your nervous state. He was trying to distract you and you welcomed it. “Not more than usual, no”

He gasped at your rebuttal, but you could see the amusement in his eyes. “Is that what you really think of me?” He asked. “I’m hurt”

“Aw, come here” You pouted, turning your chin over your shoulder. You raised your arm to rest your hand on his cheek and gently pulled him down into a kiss. Your eyes fluttered close when his lips met yours, letting your relish in his comforting presence. You felt your heartbeat slow down as you sighed against his lips, wishing to remain there with him for another hour or so. Alas, the moment was broken shortly after when the door opened. 

“They will soon be--oh” 

You pulled back from the kiss, but Jason didn’t move away at the sound of Bruce’s voice behind you. You could feel he was annoyed at his adoptive father ruining the mood, but at least he wasn’t pissed like you had seen he could be on day one. That in itself was a relief. 

“Am I interrupting something?”

“No, not at all” Jason replied in a clearly sarcastic tone. You stifled back a laugh at the grimace he was doing to mock Bruce. “Perfect timing as usual”

Bruce didn’t answer that. He only closed the door behind him and headed for the desk, leaning back on it. Jason followed his movements in the mirror like a hawk. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you aren’t at each other’s throat anymore” He began, a cryptic smile on his lips. “But I hadn’t expected… Whatever this is”

It was Jason’s turn to sigh as he reluctantly parted away from you. He didn’t go far, however. He stayed by your side like another threat on your life could pop up at any moment. “Shocker”

“As I was saying” Bruce reprised, ignoring Jason’s side comment. “They will call you to the stand soon. I just wanted to check up on you and see if you had any questions or concerns before you go out”

“How solid is the case built?” You asked.

“It should hold” He nodded. “From what I’ve seen, it’s solid in front of a jury. Your testimony will have to be conclusive if we want to catch some Maroni members in the lot, but I’m confident you’ll be stellar”

You gave him a small smile. You knew your father would be there, glaring at you like you were the devil itself, but you repeated to yourself you could go through this. There was no way he would be as intimidating as Jason in the first few days, and you came out on the other side unscathered. He couldn’t hurt you anymore, and soon he would reap what he sowed. 

“How secure will the witness booth be?” It was Jason who spoke this time, his eyes straight on Bruce like he was challenging him to give an answer that wouldn’t be good enough.

“The two guards in front of this room will accompany her in the courtroom” Bruce replied calmly. “There will also be one more guarding the door, and I supposed you won’t be far as well”

He only hummed in answer, but he seemed satisfied with this plan. Bruce checked his watch and stood up, hands in his pocket. 

“It’s time” 

You nodded, exhaling a shaky breath. You exited the room with Jason at your side and the guards behind you. You walked down a few hallways before you stopped in front of the witness booth door. You forced yourself to take deep breaths and visualize the end result. You could do this, you could do this.

“Keep your head high, stay confident” Jason muttered in your ear as the door opened in front of you. “You got this, princess”

With his last words of encouragement, you were brought into the courtroom.

Day 101

“... The sentence of the twelve convicted has dropped this morning on the order of judge Monroe, a little less than three months after the devastating trial that landed a blow on organized crime in Gotham. The twelve men will each serve a sentence ranging from twenty to forty years in a maximum security facility, on counts of attempted murders, first degree homicide, money laundering, drug trafficking and tax fraud. Amongst the convicted is Vitto Maroni, a notable figure in Gotham’s public life…”

You jumped when a loud pop dragged your attention away from the TV. 

Jason was standing there with a proud grin, pouring foaming sparkling grape juice in two champagne flutes. You laughed as he handed you one, plopping next to you on the couch and clinking his glass on yours.

“Cheers to a victory,” He declared. “that wouldn’t have been possible without you”

“Don’t flatter me too much, give yourself some credit” You matched his grin. “You’re at least 20% responsible for this”

“Ah yes, my 20% contribution” He nodded thoughtfully. “Eighteen percent bullets shot, two percent bullets received I recall”

You laughed with him, drinking the fizzy beverage. He lifted his arm, and you crawled under it to snuggle on his side, careful not to spill anything. It had become a habit for you to end up one way or another in his arms, even after the trial ended. He had offered you to move in with him shortly after, when you had tried to give him the ten thousand dollars you had promised him after the trial. Not only had he refused to even look at it, but he gave you back the 5k you had already given him beforehand. He had insisted for you to keep it and invest in whatever you wanted to turn your life around like you wished. 

He had been excited for you when you announced you would enroll in law school, saying your argumentative side would definitely come handy as an attorney.

“I’m proud of you” 

You looked up at him to see a fond glint in his eyes, one that made your heart melt. For all of his rough edges, he was certainly very soft inside. All he wanted was for you to be safe and happy, and you couldn’t ask for someone better to start your new life with. You snuggled further into him as he kissed the top of your head and tightened his arm around you.

“Thank you for being there for me” You mumbled through his clothes. “It means a lot”

“I couldn’t walk away from you even if I wanted to, princess” He smiled against your hair. “You are so stuck with me”

“Good thing I’m not going anywhere, then”

You changed the channel to a movie and spent the rest of the night cuddling on the couch, you wearing his t-shirt and shampoo and him holding you like a treasure. 

[seblaine-rph]

it'd be so easy to do a s1 redo with age appropriate characters. you could have all the fun s1 drama and storylines but with characters that are 21+ and even alternative fcs to give it a twist, it surprises me there aren't any active rps like that around

Despite the one (super problematic) redo rp we can see in the tags, there aren’t any others. You’re right. And they are really easy to open up, run, and figure out plots and stuff for because you already have a full seven seasons worth of script to work with if you ever get lost. There have been rps like that before, which might be why there aren’t any now. Nobody wants to be the person that takes a thousand years to make a whole rpg only to get spammed with anons about how unoriginal and they are as thieves. I don’t think anyone looking to do a redo rp should feel like they might get harassed for theft, but it might happen. I can see gleerp sending out anon hate if another season one glee redo in college were to open up, even if they made their original. But it’s not like there’s anything unique or new that the admins over there created themselves, so there’s nothing for them to claim as intellectual property. If it were a season one redo with a twist, that might be a different story if someone were to snatch the unique twist. But it shouldn’t apply to the basic skeleton of a redo rp because you’re redoing something that someone else made, it’s not your original brain child.

Nobody wants to be the person that takes a thousand years to make a whole rpg only to get no apps either, because the community is pretty much dead and nobody applies to anything that their current friends aren’t already in. I wish it wasn’t like that, but it is. For this second issue, it would be nice if people were more open to joining things that aren’t made by their friends. If we could get that “I’ll join anything that looks interesting based on the plot and nothing else” energy back, we’d have a lot more rps in the tags. Graphics used to be the hot button, where nobody would app if the graphics weren’t stellar, but now it’s about friends. I remember seeing photoshop-less groups popping up a few years back to retaliate against the super pristine, elitist, you have to spend approximately ten lifetimes and sacrifice your first born to make a successful rp mentality, but those aren’t around anymore. I think that in general, the grpc and rp in general has been starting to really die off and wind down because people are no longer comfortable joining anything but their friend’s rps. So new people try to take their hand at admining an rp and in the past, that could have succeeded but in this rp climate.. it just ends up closing. Because people beg and scream for original rps all day and all night, but they won’t join them. The only rps in any of the tags that I’ve been able to find lately ALL have the same plot: open fandom or oc, everyone magically poofed from their hometowns and woke up here for no reason oh well here we are, let’s just write like that’s normal and nobody is going to be upset about being uprooted at all. The only rps I’m seeing in the grpc tag that are really active are just open town, no plot rps. All of the original ideas that I’ve seen started have all died off before they could even begin. Nobody seems to realize that by not applying to rps that are run by other people, they’re refusing to cross pollinate masterlists and create new breeds of friends that can blossom and flourish. If we all joined any rp we wanted to, we’d be making a ton of new friends left and right. Instead, we’re quarantined to our own friends and will only rp with the same people we’ve been rping with for five years. Think about it. If we all made our own rp, but refused to join anyone else’s rp... how are we going to get members in our rp? If nobody is joining anyone else’s rps? It’d just be the one admin per group and nobody else. You have to reach out and cross pollinate to keep the rpc active and fresh. I really do think that this right here is the number one killer of all things roleplay these days. I do still have places to rp but I have heard so many people complain about how hard it is to get their rp masterlist to flourish. 

It really would be easy though, and to be honest it would probably get more people involved in it than the pedophilic alternative. It’s 2021, not 2012 despite what my dyslexia might want to say about it sometimes; most people have learned how to spot and avoid a dumpster fire and with all of the people going to jail for internet activities that involve pedophilia and cp in 2020 and 2021 (I thought we learned the lesson with the former Glee actors much earlier than now, but I guess not), it’s no wonder people are avoiding pedo rps. You really have to want to engage in pedophilic activity to be hard-headed enough to not age the characters up appropriately and cause no actual harm to yourself or anyone else, it’s not like it used to be when people were dim enough to do it without thinking. Like twincest, incest, and other problematic behaviors that used to saturate the community... the silent time where people ignored the nasty and joined anyway while pretending to not see anything they thought might be problematic are over. We’ve all seen prominent figures in the grpc being torn down from their pedestals for engaging in problematic behavior, pedophilia being one of those things that people are getting mass hate for. So it really is a fight to keep writing it. You have to go through being dragged through the mud and hated on in order to cling to these things nowadays. To me, that just makes it even worse. Not only are we all advanced enough now to be beyond the 2012 insanity, it is also costly to a person’s reputation and ability to go through life without being flamed by anon hate to continue to live by offensive behavior in a way that wasn’t “real” back in 2012. Not to mention, we’re all 9 years older than we were back then. So we should have matured 9 years and we should be 9 years further away from being invested in children having sex and writing out the whole “teenage sexual awakening” and “coming of age” stories. Maybe 9 years ago when we were all 18, it might have been closer to relevant and something cathartic, but why on EARTH would someone that is around 30 years old still NEED to write children coming of age if not because they’re pedophiles? That’s the one argument I always see for this. But I want to write a coming of age story, but I want to write about my character maturing as a teenager and finding adulthood. WHY? Why do you want to do that? Why do you want to write that? Why do you want to obsess (because let’s be real, we all obsess over our muses and their relationships and lives) over children having sex? Why? Why can’t you write an appropriate coming of age story for someone in college? Why is it that the characters being 14 is so integral to your smut and your plot and your needs as a writer?

You’re also risking the law, as I’ve stated many times. Feel free to Google what happens when the FBI decides to look at your internet history and finds pedophilic content there. And the FBI will get involved if it’s a bigger case, like a roleplay group that contains a dozen members that are all tied to the pedophilic content. You can even Google “roleplay” with that and you’ll find horror stories of people being sentenced to 10-25+ years in FEDERAL PRISON for roleplaying the 18- having sex. That alone, if your morals are weak, should be enough to keep you away from writing pedophilic content. I just don’t see how anyone could ever say to themselves that they needed to write 14 year olds having sex SO BADLY that it was alright with them if it meant they had to go to prison for it. That’s making these people’s need to write child porn sound like an addiction. Nasty.

I honestly, truly, definitely, genuinely do not understand. You have to be a SERIOUS, GENUINE, SERIOUS PEDOPHILE with a SERIOUS PROBLEM to be willing to write in a group like gleerp that has minors having sex in it. Look at the risk. I do not ever want to be able to understand how the “reward” of being able to write 14 year olds having sex with each other is going to outweigh the negative risk. Even just your run-of-the-mill, every day pedo is going to be too scared to do something like that, because the risk outweighs the reward. So.... I just don’t understand how 30 year old adults are so invested in these characters NEEDING TO BE children in order for them to want to write them. Like... Age them up to an appropriate age and make it a college rp and have exactly the same plots and exactly the same things and exactly the same everything except suddenly it’s appropriate and not pedophilia or... keep them kids and get hated on daily and risk getting yourself and everyone else in your group locked up? 

I think the choice is clear to any sane individual. 

[where-is-francis]

Opposites

Billy Hargrove x Male Reader

Request:

Prompt:

A/N: this is absolute shit I’m sorry. Hopefully I’ll either redo it or add on later?? Idk although I love Stranger Things I feel like I’m bad at writing for it because I didn’t get super super attached to the characters, or at least the older ones :(

TW: being big gay, hiding your relationship, being lowkey dumb (and boring, I’m not proud of this one), Billy smokes cause. It’s Billy.

They say opposites attract. And good God would that be an understatement.

Nothing about your life was abnormal in the eyes of watchful peers. You; the average boy in Hawkins, Indiana. So, how did somebody like you manage to find yourself hanging with the likes of Billy Hargrove and the other “bad boys” of the school?

You had to ask yourself the same question.

The group of boys with six-packs and leather clad backs wasn’t exactly where you thought you’d end up in high school, but nobody is ever really the same person they were when they near senior year. Sometimes change is necessary, but unexpected — yours was always the latter. And somehow the school fuckboy became your own little secret.

Neither you, nor him, could explain how it happened. Some dumb cliché from a movie, the bad boy and the soft boy. Billy was the taste of a root beer float, sounds of fast cars racing down the main, the intoxicating smell of old cigarettes against leather. That rousing California boy.

You, on the other hand, were the taste of pizza and Zotz*. The cool breeze at the end of the cul-de-sac. Bare feet against hot pavement, smell of chlorine from the pool. Nevertheless, you two were a force to be reckoned with. Nobody knew what went on behind the scenes, and that’s how it would stay.

Boys like him weren’t supposed to love boys like you.

“Lost in thought?” Only a certain voice could pull you from a trance like that.

“I guess you could say that,”

For a brief moment you locked eyes, the shrug that rolled from his shoulders asking for permission to sit down. You obliged, sliding over on the bench to make room. The blonde grits his teeth a bit, then decides to sit opposite you. His lunch tray hits the table, a jump being your only response. The smell of cigarette smoke and noise of the cafeteria is all that you notice.

“Where’s everybody else?” You quip.

He sighs and takes a bite from his sandwich. “I don’t know — lunch detention, probably? Fucking idiots…”

A few glances were sent out, looking to make sure nobody is watching. But ever since he moved, Billy was always being carefully spied on by everybody. You hunched forward, resting your elbows on the table in an attempt to get a bit closer. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes when he saw the big grin plastered on your face; you had been scheming and it was obvious.

“Now hear me out—”

“Whatever you’re about to say, the answer is no.” He replies sternly, stabbing a fork into his food.

“I can’t believe I said yes to this,”

The cool water dances over your (s/c) arms, a nice lighting coming from just below the surface. It’s dark out, the only light being that of the moon and from the pool. Billy locks his eyes on your form as you glide through the water with ease. Of course you wanted to sneak into the city pool before they drained it for the season. Normally, he’d be all for something like this, but it was nearly mid-September and achingly cold out. The clothes you once wore sat carelessly in a pile, right beside the other male. He sighed and crouched down, his face coming suspiciously close to your own.

“And what will we do if somebody catches us here?”

“Make a run for it—”

Something in his eyes tells you he’s not worried about that; more worried about if somebody saw you two together. His expression at that moment is hard to pinpoint. Annoyance? Lust? Excitement? It left you baffled, no more so than usual. With a few steps back he found a spot in one of the patio chairs, plastic creaking under the new weight.

“You’re not going to join me?”

“And then freeze to death when I get out? Pass,”

You rolled your eyes and then shifted to drive underneath the water. Waves and ripples formed gracefully, gliding softly with every movement. The slight chill in the pool was slightly worse than usual but you didn’t mind. In a quick downward motion you had been surrounded by it, causing bubbles to rise as you did the opposite. Billy watched from the side as your warped form sank lower and lower until finally rested on the bottom.

The view was otherworldly; somewhat spooky and ethereal — dark navy skies above softly disturbed by motion. The familiar sting of chlorine had made itself known but you couldn’t care less. Something about being at the bottom of a pool was just comforting. Perhaps it was the isolation, the pressure, the view, or the serenity — you didn’t know how to put it. A burning in your chest pleaded for you to surface again for air, so you did.

Billy tracked you, a fond smile and cigarette hung from his mouth. Nothing could compare to you in the moment, at least to him. He only hoped that one day maybe you’d accompany him in California. Just the thought of you coming up for air in the turquoise waves, hair slicked back, giant grin plastered across your face, was enough to keep him going.

“Are you done yet?” He groaned.

“Normally, you’re always up for breaking rules. Now you’re rushing me out of the pool we’re trespassing in?”

When you turned, a hand reached out for yours. You stared for a minute before he motioned slightly and prompted you to take it. He pulled you out skillfully, eyes never leaving your own. Cold air cocooned itself around your sopping wet figure, the feeling sending chills down your spine. In a frantic rush to get re-dressed you pulled your hand away, scrambling to the pile of clothes. The task of getting dress seemed much harder than it normally did, with everything wanting to cling and stick where it wasn’t supposed to.

The shiver from before was back again but this time as a trembling jaw. Everything about the scene was enough to make the other male laugh as he took a drag from his cigarette. You would’ve looked pretty hot in the moment, had you not been muttering profanities under your breath and shaking like a skeleton.

“Can we… go now?”

A thumb was placed over your bottom lip, rubbing back and forth.

“Aw, regretting the fun already?”

He met your eyes, inching in close enough to the point where you could practically taste the cigarette cloud in your own mouth. Shadows fell across his face beautifully, framing his features in all their glory. It was like something out of a movie. The brunette watched you pluck the stick from his mouth gingerly, then replacing its presence with your lips. It was over hastily, to the dissatisfaction of you both. You smirked, taking a slow drag then passing it back to him.

“You gonna take me home?”

A shrug was the only answer you received. No time was wasted trying to slip through the gates and into the parking lot. The single light post flickered slightly, adding to the half-romantic, half-ominous vibe. If only the midnight chill wasn’t so bad.

A shudder worked its way through your body, dampened clothes becoming even tighter as your boyfriend unlocked the car. Keys clambered in the distant, you were too focused on retaining heat. Semi-transparent breaths escaped your mouth, filling the air in the pale lighting.

Your gaze wandered over to the other male. He was slightly unamused at how dissociated you were, but never said anything. Instead, just balancing the cig in his mouth and pulling off the leather jacket.

“I guess you need it more than I do.”

[justanotherdeadgirlwalking]

That is Just the Saddest F**king Thing I Have Ever Heard.

TW obviously DEH is about a kid’s suicide, so it has those themes

other parts :)

Part Five. 

Art doesn’t just happen. It’s a process. You need a muse, an inspiration, something that lights a spark in your brain. Inspiration is everywhere. I’m surrounded constantly by beautiful bodies, beautiful faces. Sometimes you walk down the street and see how perfectly someone’s shoulders meet their slender neck, and the image burns into your mind. You want to see it in front of you again, but you can’t because that would require stalking the person to find them, and that’s super fucking creepy. So, you settle for the next best thing, you draw it. You sketch it over and over again until you get it right, and suddenly that woman is in front of you again. I prefer to draw people, because then you never run out of ideas. Faces are so unique; each body is different. There’s billions of people in the world, each one just waiting to be captured; I never run out of ideas. Eyes are like two little galaxies right in the center of the asteroid that is your face.

Putting together a portfolio has been a lot harder than I’d expected. I thought I’d just through my favorite drawings in a folder and call it a day. The only problem is, I hate literally everything I have ever drawn. Mom has always told me that my drawing look like photographs. That’s complete bullshit because you can see fingerprint smudges, and you can tell that one eye is significantly better than the other, and the noses look like shit. I literally want to redo every piece.

I’m not being one of those people that says their work is shit because they’re fishing for compliments, I know they’re good. I’ve been featured in district art shows, and I’ve won awards. And I’m not trying to sound like a cocky asshole either. Art is just the one thing in my life I have complete and total control over, and trust me, I took control. I can choose how it looks, I can make it as perfect, or imperfect as I want it. I had to beg my parents for the best pencils and canvas to use. I figured, I didn’t take music lessons or dance lessons like Zoe did, you guys can buy me some quality supplies. They didn’t want to waste money on the stuff if I wasn’t going to use it. As a child I tried a lot of sports and hated them. When I was ten, I joined the swim team. I practiced every day, for hours. I even talked Zoe into training with me, I made her time me, and yell at me in an angry German accent when I wasn’t making time. Then, after probably hundreds of hours of training, I decided that I didn’t like swimming before I even had the chance to compete. I guess they didn’t want me to do the same thing with art. Mom finally took me to an art store, like a real art store, when I proved to her I was serious about it. It was like going to Disney world. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of was right there in front of me. There was a wall of colored pencils. There were pencils in every color I could think of, and then some, colors I never even seen before. I stood there in awe. It was a game changer to use real colored pencils, not Crayola’s. Larry was so mad, he didn’t understand how art supplies could be so expensive. Well, I don’t understand why someone would spend $100 on a dozen golf balls either, so I guess we’re even.

Since I couldn’t realistically redo every piece of art I’ve ever made, I decided I would just use every piece that my art teacher loved and draw one new piece. It seemed like a good compromise. Miss Schmitt was the only person I really trust with anything. She’s always pushed me to keep going, not to give up on a piece and see it through. She didn’t teach me how to draw, you can’t teach talent, but she always motivated me.

I really needed her motivation now. There was one person I really wanted to draw, but I seemed to have a mental block on what they looked like. Miss Schmitt told me to use a reference picture, but I didn’t want anyone to know who I was drawing. It would make me look psycho, and people finally stopped thinking I was a freak.  I couldn’t bring myself to draw his face, so I drew his body. I drew his New Balance sneakers and his mal fitting khakis. I spent hours trying to replicate the crease down the front of his pants just right. I even made a special trip to the art store to make sure I found the right shades of blue for his stupid stripped shirt. I got an off-white colored pencil so I could shade his cast just right. Evan’s arm may not be broken anymore, but when I think of him, I think of him in his cast, just after I signed it. When everything was still really real and made sense.

I’ve become obsessed with him. How could I not be, he was my one and only friend. Except, that wasn’t true, and he used me for a better life. I really wanted nothing to do with him, but at the same time I wanted to know everything about him. It didn’t help that he was always around.

There was a knock on my door. “Come in” I called, snapping my sketchbook shut. I looked up to see Evan in my room, behind him, Zoe was peering in, almost hiding. “What’s up” I asked them, annoyed. Evan stands there for a second, looking down and playing with his fingers. I cleared my throat to get his attention.

“Um, me and Zoe want to talk to you” he spits out in a nervous stutter. I motion for them to come in. Zoe comes in and sits on my bed, not looking at me. Evan stands still for another moment before pulling the door shut and sitting on the ground where he stood. Everyone is silent for a moment, avoiding eye contact. I cough loudly to end the awkwardness.

“What did you guys want to talk about?” I ask.

Its Zoe that answers, softly, her voice breaking, “I want answers,” she says. Well kid, that makes two of us. “Why did you try to kill yourself.”

I feel like I was kicked in the chest. I don’t really have an explanation as to why. I just did. It was impulsive, seemed like the right thing to do in the moment. I wasn’t suicidal, and I wasn’t depressed beyond my normal gloom and doom. I just did it because I felt like it. I wasn’t feeling helpless or worthless, just bored. Except, I can’t tell her that. “Connor?” she asks. I just stare at her, hoping she will drop it. She meets my gaze and raises an eyebrow. She looks so sad, so broken. I must have really hurt her.

“I don’t want to talk about it” I say.

She sighs and balls her fists and taps them against her legs. She didn’t like that answer. I get it. I’d want to know too, I guess. Except, there’s nothing to know. Except, I wasn’t as important to her as she is to me.

“In the emails you wrote to Evan,” she starts. Oh, great the fake emails, “you were doing so well. Please you don’t need to tell me everything, but I just want to know what happened”

“I said I don’t want to fucking talk about it.” I snap.

Evan coughs, bringing attention to himself. I forgot he was here for a second. He looks nervous, really nervous. I don’t blame him, I could blow up his whole life right now with the truth. “Maybe he needs more time Zoe” he says. I give him a dirty look.

Zoe slams her hand against the bed, “You’ve had months,” she yells, “How much more time do you need. How do you go from climbing trees with Evan to killing yourself in a park?”

“Zoe,” Evan says, “you remember what you read, you don’t want to trigger him.” Trigger me? Okay Evan, you just don’t want me to tell the truth. Evan stands and opens the door, motioning for Zoe to leave. She looks at me again, pleading me with her eyes, then gets up and leaves. Evan lingers for a moment, watching her walk down the hall to her room. He steps back in and slams the door.

“We need to talk f-for real,” He says.

“Oh, for sure” I say, standing up and covering the distance between us until I’m towering over him, “Let’s talk about how you’re taking advantage of my entire fucking family.”

He’s beet red. “I’m not” he says, looking at the floor.

“Hey buddy, we’re not friends, we never were friends, and we’re probably never going to be friends.” I say

“Wh-why not?” he whispers.

“News flash,” I yell, “the first and only time I ever talked to you was when I signed your cast remember? You lied to everyone, and you’re a shitty liar.”

Evan is silent, he’s staring at the ground and pulling at his fingers. I watch him as he scratches his neck, pulls his ear, shifts his weight. I’ve thought Evan and I were the same; neither of us had friends because we were outcasts so to speak. He was just socially awkward, whereas I was the school freak. But I could tell he felt the same stuff I felt. The same wish that someone would notice us, that we were both on the outside, always looking in. Maybe if things were different we would be friends. I tried reaching out to him, but he was too self-absorbed with his own issues to notice me. And now, I am somehow engulfed in his issues. He took my suicide and made it about him. He lied to my parents and Zoe and the whole world. Evan Hansen was a nobody, a barely in the background kind of guy, and now his basically an internet celebrity. And me? People still don’t care about me, but at least they’re nice to me now.

I think that’s why I’m so angry about the whole situation. He got what he always wanted, he got his dreams come true. He got a taste of a perfect life, so he did what he had to do. But it ends now. I hope it was fun and he had a blast while he dragged me along.

“Did you read the emails?” Evan finally asks. I read them. He wrote a story of a perfect friendship. Friends that quote their favorite bands and tells jokes nobody understands except us two, and there’s nothing that we can’t discus, like girls we wish would notice us but never do. He even included me encouraging him to go after my sister. The fucking creep.

“Dear Evan Hansen,” I say, “You either tell Zoe and my parents the truth, or I will.” I open my door and shove him out of my room, “Sincerely, me.

[picturebookmakers]

Axel Scheffler

In this post, Axel takes us on a journey through his art studio and career. As well as sharing wonderful development work from some of his much-loved picturebooks, he shows us unseen sketchbook pages, early illustration commissions, etchings he made as a student, and his recent work to educate children about the coronavirus.

Visit Axel Scheffler’s website

Axel: I’m not really sure how many books I’ve illustrated in the 30+ years that I’ve been working. Over 150. I mostly work for the UK market, but occasionally I do books with German publishers. Not picturebooks though, so nothing that collides with the co-edition market.

Each of the boxes you see here contains one of my books: the sketches, illustrations, dummies, alternate versions of covers, everything.

I organised these boxes with Liz, my assistant, to have all the main books there so we can find things for exhibitions. There’s still lots of drawings in these boxes which aren’t sorted yet. Liz is such a great help, but it’s very difficult for me to keep on top of everything. I think I would probably need two Lizes, or perhaps three.

So yes, I don’t really know where to begin... I’ve got endless sketchbooks and little drawings on paper. I’ve got some really old sketchbooks I could show you.

Shall we start with The Gruffalo?

My early sketches of the Gruffalo were thought by my editor to be too scary for small children. So I had to make him a bit rounder and more ‘cuddly’. Initially, I‘d also thought that all the animals would be wearing clothes, as they often do in picturebooks. But Julia had different ideas, and to be honest I was relieved. How would I have dressed the snake?

Here’s some spreads from the dummy...

I tried a lot of alternate covers for this book; I think there were twelve in total. There’s some where the Gruffalo doesn’t even feature on the cover.

My latest book with Julia is called ‘The Smeds and The Smoos’. It was quite nice to work on because it’s so different from the other books we’ve done together. The text is a bit like a mixture between Dr Seuss and Lewis Carol; it has this nonsense element. But it’s basically Romeo and Juliet in outer space.

It’s an alien story, so I didn’t have to draw any rabbits or squirrels for a change, and I could invent more. I had more freedom. But like always, I got bored with drawing the same characters over and over again. But that’s picturebooks.

There was quite a lot of development work in the case of this book. But when it’s a story about a fox or a squirrel, I don’t do this kind of stuff. Over the years, it’s become much quicker and easier working on my books. I do far less research than I used to. Now I generally just do a quick pencil sketch then go straight to artwork.

Sometimes I have to start again because things go wrong though. This was a finished piece that was abandoned. I think I suddenly thought that the rocket was far too big or something. I do that; I work on something for ages, and then I suddenly look at it from a distance and realise that something needs redoing.

Did you spot the little Gruffalo in this picture? Since ‘The Snail and the Whale’, I’ve hidden a Gruffalo in each of my books with Julia (not ‘The Ugly Five’ though).

For almost all of the books Julia and I have done together, our editor has been Alison Green. We’re an old established team. And I’ve always worked with the publisher Kate Wilson; I followed her from Macmillan to Scholastic, and then to Nosy Crow. Julia moved from Macmillan to Scholastic, and decided to stay there. So Julia and I have some of our joint titles with Macmillan and some with Scholastic. Julia does books with other illustrators for Macmillan, and I illustrate other books for Nosy Crow.

People often ask me which of the books I’ve done with Julia is my favourite. It’s quite hard to choose, but I enjoyed working on ‘The Smartest Giant in Town’. I liked the way I could do a crazy world with animals, giants, fairytale characters, everything mixed together without anyone caring or questioning it. I’ll show you a few things from the box...

For this book, the cover was changed at the last minute. The original design had the title written on a poster stuck on a brick wall, but the sales people said they wanted a landscape, so I did another one. Years later, they used the original design for a new paperback edition, so it wasn’t completely wasted in the end.

I mentioned my endless sketchbooks earlier. I’ll show you a few of them. This was mainly me playing around without thinking about what I was doing; it wasn’t a conscious thing.

I haven’t looked at these sketchbooks for ages. It was such a long time ago. I don’t work in sketchbooks like this anymore, and I no longer doodle. But for fun, I make illustrated envelopes for friends.

I often think about doing a book with just pictures, but I’m always too busy doing other things. Posthumously, perhaps there will be time to do this. I’d also love to experiment and be more spontaneous; it’s been my dream for decades to do something completely different. But when I receive a book project, I always feel under pressure to finish it, and I’m always late with everything, so I end up doing it the way I’ve always done it.

This is my drawing table, which is and always has been too small and too messy. I think I have to accept it will always be this way.

I use Saunders Waterford paper for my illustrations. It’s funny how we all have our special paper. My rough sketches are often quite small, so I have them blown up to the correct size. Then I trace the sketches on a lightbox onto my watercolour paper. After that, I draw the outlines in black ink with a dip pen. I colour everything with Ecoline inks using brushes, and then coloured pencils on top of it (I use Faber Polychromos and Prismacolour crayons). I might then need to redraw some of the black lines, or use some white gouache for highlights.

I studied History of Art in Hamburg, but left before graduating. I realised this wasn’t what I was good at; I’m not an academic.

Then I had to do my alternative service as conscientious objector. Sixteen months. There was still conscription then; that’s how old I am. I worked with mentally ill people in their homes. It was during this time that I had a friend studying ceramics at Bath Academy of Art in England. I went to visit her. I really didn’t know what else to do, so I thought maybe I could move to Bath and go to the art school. So this is what I did. The course was Visual Communications, so it was design, printmaking, photography, all that stuff. But I realised I only wanted to do illustration.

I’d gone to art college hoping to learn something. I don’t think that necessarily happened, but drawing intensively for three years was, I think, what I had needed to do. I don’t remember actually finishing any projects though.

Here’s some drawings from my student sketchbooks. I did lots of observational drawing back then, which I don’t anymore. I did it then because they told us to. I’m an obedient person!

While I was a student, I did an exchange in New York: Cooper Union Art College for three months. These drawings are of Jewish immigrants, meeting for coffee. It was 1984, so many of them were still alive; refugees from Germany or Austria. I heard them speaking German, so that’s how I knew.

Sketchbooks are such a good way of memorising things. Nobody really knows about these sketchbooks; I used to take them to interviews, but they’ve been hidden away for years.

After I graduated, I moved to London and took my portfolio around. My art teacher had suggested I should do this to get work, so that’s what I did. In those days, you had to ring them and ask to come around. I got two commissions straight away, and it’s been busy ever since, really. I’ve always had something to do.

Here’s some of my early commissions. Starting from 1985, I guess. Very pointy noses...

I did so much of this kind of work. It was a good way of earning money quickly. Occasionally, I still do editorial. I did some Brexit drawings for the remain campaign. Sadly, it didn’t help. Maybe I wrecked everything!

I’ll say a few words about the KIND book... 38 wonderful artists donated a picture to illustrate some of the many ways children can be kind. Such as sharing their toys or helping people from other countries to feel welcome.

One pound from each book sold goes to the Three Peas charity, which supports refugees from war-torn countries. It’s been a big success so far, and Three Peas has received a lot of money from sales in the UK and co-editions.

I’d quite like to do the UNKIND book next! I think illustrators would probably enjoy that, but I don’t imagine it would sell very well.

And now for something completely different! Some etchings I made when I was a student.

People often ask me which illustrators I’m inspired by. I don’t seek any direct influence on my work, but I’ve always said that Tomi Ungerer had the greatest influence on my approach to illustration. Although his style is quite different to mine, this humour and wackiness is something that has always appealed to me. And the details.

William Steig is someone I got into later, when I was already illustrating. And Edward Gorey of course. And Saul Steinberg. I think the Czech artist Jiří Šalamoun is wonderful. And I like Eva Lindström from Sweden a lot. She’s so great.

Okay, to finish with I’ll talk about the coronavirus work I’ve been doing...

I asked myself what I could do as a children’s illustrator to inform, as well as entertain, my readers here and abroad about the coronavirus. So I was glad when Nosy Crow asked me to illustrate a book on the subject. I think it’s extremely important for children and families to have access to reliable information in this unprecedented crisis.

You can download the free digital book in English here, and in over 60 other languages here.

I also wanted to do something light-hearted to cheer people up, and I thought, “What if I imagine some of our characters in corona situations?” Julia liked the idea and wrote rhymes for the new scenes. This was really more about entertainment than serious information.

Artwork and verse © Axel Scheffler and Julia Donaldson 2020. Based on characters from ‘The Gruffalo’s Child’ (2004), ‘Charlie Cook’s Favourite Book’ (2005), ‘The Smartest Giant in Town’ (2002), and ‘The Gruffalo’ (1999) — © Macmillan Children’s Books.

And here’s one more thing: my ‘letter from lockdown’. On The Children’s Bookshow website, you’ll find lockdown letters from lots of other wonderful authors and illustrators.

Illustrations © Axel Scheffler. Post edited by dPICTUS.

Buy this picturebook

The Gruffalo

Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler

Macmillan Children’s Books, UK, 1999

‘A mouse took a stroll through the deep dark wood. A fox saw the mouse and the mouse looked good.’

Walk further into the deep dark wood, and discover what happens when a quick-witted mouse comes face to face with an owl, a snake... and a hungry Gruffalo!

‘The Gruffalo’ has become a bestselling phenomenon across the world. This award-winning rhyming story of a mouse and a monster is now a modern classic, and will enchant children for years to come.

PUBLISHED IN THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGES & DIALECTS

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The Smeds and The Smoos

Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler

Alison Green Books, UK, 2019

The Smeds (who are red) never mix with the Smoos (who are blue). So when a young Smed and Smoo fall in love, their families disapprove.

But peace is restored and love conquers all in this happiest of love stories. There’s even a gorgeous purple baby to celebrate!

PUBLISHED IN THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGES

Afrikaans

Catalan

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German

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Hungarian

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Buy this picturebook

Kind

Alison Green, Axel Scheffler & 38 illustrators

Alison Green Books, UK, 2019

Imagine a world where everyone is kind; how can we make that come true? With gorgeous pictures by a host of top illustrators, KIND is a timely, inspiring picturebook about the many ways children can be kind, from sharing their toys and games, to helping those from other countries feel welcome.

One pound from the sale of each printed copy will go to the Three Peas charity, which gives vital help to refugees from war-torn countries.

PUBLISHED IN THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGES

Bulgarian

Catalan

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

English

French

German

Greek

Hebrew

Italian

Korean

Netherlands

Portuguese (Brazil)

Romanian

Spanish

Swedish

Turkish

Vietnamese

[bellatriestowritesometimes]

Ever Been In Love?

Spencer Reid x Reader 

Word Count: 1.7k 

A/N: Slightly got carried away and tried basing it loosely on the finale, changing a few things but also keeping some of it the same. To the anon who requested this, I hope I didn’t disappoint you<3

(GIF not mine, credits to creator)

hi could I request a Spencer x reader fic, kind of a redo of the whack finale, but instead of jjs confession, maybe the reader could accidentally confess, like through a lie detector instead of the truth or dare game? idk I’m SORRY if it’s too specific, I just want some angst and fluff, ty in advance💓 love your writing

You took in your surroundings once you felt your heavy eyes open. The last thing you remembered was bombarding a jewellery store in hopes of finding Casey who was the unsub and Melissa who he was going after.

You tried lifting your right hand up to wipe at the bothering, trickling feeling you felt towards your hairline, though that was proving to be difficult as heavy chains occupied both of your wrists and ankles.

You caught your own reflection in a mirrored glass window and saw that it was blood oozing out of a sore cut located on your forehead. Your eyes then took in the odd device that was strapped around your chest and only then you realised that it was a lie detector.

“What the hell is going on?” you shouted, attempting to push yourself out of the seat you were shackled in, but you were overpowered by dizziness and the thumping you felt in your head.

“Spencer? Can anyone hear me?” You raised your voice again as you tried looking for a way out. There was a door on your left of course, but the weight you felt on your limbs made it tediously difficult to try and move.

“Is anyone going to bloody answer me? Where the hell am I? Where is Spencer?” You growled, getting impatient. As far as you remembered you chased after both Casey and Melissa with Spencer. It was the both of you who barged into the jewellery store, but anything after that felt fuzzy.

“You were out for quite some time pretty,” an eager voice came through the intercom,

“Casey? Is that you hiding through a speaker?” You taunted but yelped out in pain once you felt sharp discomfort radiate through your body.

“See, now not only have I got you strapped to a lie detector- which we’re going to have some fun with, you’re also in a chair that allows me to shock you if you lie or in this case piss me off.”

“Do you have Melissa?” You stuttered out, trying to wrap your head around the situation you were in.

Casey didn’t reply but instead you heard a female voice,

“Please just give me back my daughter,” Melissa wailed over the intercom more to Casey than to you.

“Let her go. You’re not getting anywhere with this, its only a matter of time until my team finds us.”

You waited for a reply, but instead were met with the door unlocking.

A shaky Melissa cautiously stepped into the room with a gun in her hand, she warily sat down in the chair opposite you, where a laptop that was connected to the wires around your chest sat.

“Are you okay?” you questioned, your eyes darting between her scared ones and the gun she was gripping. Not giving her a chance to reply you opened your mouth once again, “Do you know where Spencer- my partner is? Is he here? Is he hurt?”

She didn’t respond to your questions but instead whispered, “I’m s-sorry. He’s making me do this, he has my daughter Candice,” she disclosed but you had already figured that part out.

Casey’s voice rang through the intercom once again, “I want to play a little game with you. The same one I played with pretty boy whilst you were out.” He paused,

“The rules are simple. Don’t lie- if you do somebody will end up dead.”

“If you think you’re going to get away with this you’re wrong,” you replied after he was finished.

“I’m not going back to jail,” he objected. Clearly you had struck a nerve.

“You’ve not only kidnapped a child and their mother, but kidnapped two federal agents, so jail is looking like a pretty good place right now.” You were in absolute disbelief on how you hadn’t figured out that Casey had been keeping tabs on the team and the case this whole time. How else could he have planned all of this?

A gunshot over the intercom made you jump, followed by a cry that escaped from Melissa,

“P-Please don’t hurt my baby Candice!”

Panic washed over you, “Okay! Okay! I’ll play just don’t hurt anyone!”

“That’s what I thought.” It was Casey speaking again, “Ever shoot anybody before?”

He had begun his game.

You took a deep breath, “Yes, I have.”

“T-truth.” Melissa clarified, waiting on Casey’s next question.

“You enjoy it?”

“No.” You groaned, lobbing your head back.

A couple of moments passed until a quiet “Lie,” fell from Melissa’s mouth.

And there the familiar jolting pain hit your body. Your hands tightly griped the arms of the chair as your face scrunched in agony.

“I told you not to lie,” Casey was shouting over your screams,

“No-no I’m not lying, okay I’m not lying! The people I shot-I had no choice but I did not enjoy it. I didn’t!” You tried to focus on anything else other than the prickly sensation travelling throughout your body.

You thought that you couldn’t possibly experience any pain that’s worse than this, but that pain was not even half of what Spencer was feeling being forced to watch you on the other side of the mirrored window. He was strapped down just like you were. Rattling the chains trying to get free, unable to listen to you screech out in agony anymore.

“Let her go!” He barked, though the focus wasn’t on him anymore.

“J-just let Candice go okay? Let her and Melissa go,” you tried saying but your mouth was dry, voice hoarse.

“What about Spencer?” Casey was enjoying this too much.

“Let him go too. Nobody else has to get hurt. This isn’t going to change anything- it’ll just make it worse for you. Make it better while you still can,” you tried bargaining with him but he just laughed.

“If I recall correctly, your biggest concern when you woke up was Spencer.”

“Is this classed as one of your questions?”

“No, no,” he chuckled. “It might be leading up to one though.”

“If you’ve hurt him I swear to God-” fury filled you as you tried getting out of the chair once more. The chains clattering against each other but it was no use. You were too weak and in too much pain.

Casey was laughing again, “Ready for my next question?”

You closed your eyes in anticipation.

“Ever been in love?”

“N-“

“Scratch that, I’ve got something better to ask,” Casey interrupted you.

A few minutes passed until he spoke again,

“Are you in love with your partner Spencer?” He asked instead.

Are you? Your self-consciousness asked. You cared about him yes, but never questioned it as anything more, or at least when you did you were quick to convince yourself that you were being irrational and selfish.

“No,” you breathed.

“...Lie.” Melissa delicately murmured hoping Casey wouldn’t hear.

But the raging shock you felt told you otherwise.

“I-yes I am, I don’t know!” You yelled but the pain wouldn’t stop.

“Please no more!” Your body was going numb but felt like it was on fire at the same time.

There was no answer over the intercom. You were close to passing out but the shock stopped just in time. Melissa was now by your chair, trying to get the chains off. You hadn’t heard or even saw the door open, but the room was now flooded with the police and not only was Melissa by you, Tara was there too. They were both telling you to stay still and Rossi had quickly instructed for one of the paramedics to help you.

“I-is Spencer okay? Have you found Candice?”

“Everyone’s fine. Luke has Candice, Spencer is getting looked at by the paramedics,” Rossi assured you.

-

Rossi’s wedding:

You were quick to head to the bar and were enjoying your beverage that was sure to leave a hangover, until a soft voice spoke next to you.

“How are you holding up?”

You turned to face Spencer, “I’m okay,” you smiled. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m okay,” Spencer repeated. You brought your glass to your lips,

“But I’d feel better if I told you this…” He looked into your eyes silently asking for permission to continue. You set the glass back down, already knowing where the conversation was going.

“When you were, um, with Melissa in that room...with the lie detector…” Spencer was trying to tread lightly.

“I know Spence. Tara told me that JJ and Emily both found you in the room opposite,” you finished for him, not knowing where to look.

“…You know polygraph tests are only 70 to 90% accurate, when a person is genuinely nervous its likely for it to say that they’re lying when really they’re telling the truth- I guess what I’m trying to say is that you could have been telling the truth even if it read as a lie…”

“Are you trying to spare me the embarrassment?” You tried making a joke out of something you didn’t find funny.

“No, not at all. It if makes you feel any better Casey made me take one too.”

“He did?” You questioned and Spencer nodded.

You shifted your body to face the bar instead of Spencer, “I-I think the lie detector might’ve been right,” you said lowly, “I wasn’t telling the truth… It was always too complicated to tell you how I really felt and I never realised it until that day…”

You started to feel really hot- like there was a great, big fire right in front of you, the hall starting to feel like a really cramped room.

“Y/N ask me what my answer was.”

You stayed quite, taking all of Spencer in, “Ask me Y/N,” he repeated softly.

“...What was your answer?”

“That I do,” he smiled, “in fact have feelings for you too. I didn’t need a polygraph test to make me realise, I-I guess I’ve just always had a soft spot for you,” he answered.

You didn’t say anything back, just carried on looking into his hazel eyes with an adoring smile. Spencer took that moment to try and lean forward, into what you thought was a kiss but a voice startled you both,

“I hope the only soft thing you guys are talking about is the cake that they’re about to cut,” Emily whisked by the both of you with a grin plastered across her face.

“Uh, great, we’ll be right there,” you laughed and turned your attention back to Spencer,

“Can we pick this up later?” You asked and he nodded.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” He smiled, “It’s okay, everything’s okay.”

Requests are Open<3

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 5 - “https://streamable.com/2bc03” - Beck

So, I have a very good idea as to what happened. Karen thought they were the one to go with their score, and successfully convinced everyone else to get rid of me. Either to get the gold or to get rid of me, I'm not sure. But I'm on to them. Make no mistake.

Well, to recap past round, Ben ended up winning the gold medal and returning to the game, which I really appreciate, so he'll be immune next tribal he attends, which am sure he is happy with.   That led to Nik W being the next person eliminated.   Then, as well at the arena, Stoner won the silver medal for his tribe, I won the Bronze medal for my tribe, then Pete won nothing.   Today's immunity challenge was a maze, went into the maze thinking I should get a decent time, as I did mazes a bit as a kid, but then my dumb self didn't save the maze properly so had to redo it, then my internet decided to act up so had to refigure out lightshot which cost me more time.  So I ended up with a really rough score, thankfully the 40% bonus will help a little, but I just feel bad and embarrassed by the time I got, and feel like if my tribe loses, it's going to be because of me.   I can't even be too active tomorrow to discuss vote with people if my tribe loses as I am going back home tomorrow, which just makes matters even worse.   So, at the moment, I don't feel too hot, but at the same time, I shouldn't let one bad round set me back either.

first loss as a new tribe, rip. I don’t know how this vote may go because i’ve chatted and bonded with everyone on this tribe, well except kevin and kinda nicole, and no one is really sticking out like an asshole. The new mari-whatever tribe has been just chill vibes which is nice but makes strategy much harder cus like what if they’re all secretly just agreed in getting me out? Who knows. I did talk with Landen and we agreed we wanna work together, he threw out the idea that he may be leaning towards voting out an old Shosha member and he hasn’t talked with Kevin or Nicole at all. I’m talking to Eve, Sammy, and Jacob C as well, maybe we could be a voting block...? We’ll see. 

Sarah felt she’s in danger because of Billy trying to get her out last tribal. I can’t have Sarah out because her and I trust each other so then I think of this idea. Nik just got voted out, Billy is targeting Sarah now... what if I spread a rumor that Billy has a plan to pick off all the yujo members and has a hit list and is playing way too hard now? So basically i tell all my allies that eve and I are really scared because someone told us that Billy wants to pick off the yujo people for an easy vote these next few rounds in the hopes that people won’t trust him if he’s playing too hard like that and hopefully the word gets back to the sonkei tribe members. 

So we have a problem, Eve and I are sticking together as former yujo so we let each other know what the other person has found out. So anyways I talk with Landen for a little while, I trust him, and he proposes this plan to vote out a former Shosha tribe member which i’m not against. He says he’s talked a little with Sammy and Jacob C too. So I let Eve know and she says interestingly enough she’s been talking to Nicole and Nicole proposed that her, Eve, Kevin, and myself all vote together and Eve says maybe against Landen. Eve also let’s me know that Nicole and Jacob C are very very close. So now Eve and I are split, I want to vote with Landen and get a Shosha tribe member out, she doesn’t wanna go against Nicole and wants to vote Landen out. We’re kinda the swing vote here and I want us to make the right decision. 

tribal is getting closer and closer and nobody wants to make a decision! They’re ALL asking ME what to do which i guess is nice but i don’t want them all thinking of me as the decision maker this early. Right now it’s between landen or kevin going so i’m doing what i can to make sure everyone’s fine with writing Kevin’s name down. 

Let's make this quick because I am obviously stressed as fuck and I just had the most whack ass dream about this game. In it, half this cast got kicked out of the game for being minors and it was actually a Facebook game, then we appealed it and held a whole trial bc some chick compared us to South African famous wanted murderers and we were offended so we held a trial and won the appeal and all the minors got back in the game but then there was instant tribal council and it was a live tribal and we were all whispering to send home someone named Charlotte who isn't even in this cast I... Yeah. So  you can tell THAT'S how paranoid I am about this tribal council, my brain is driving me insane. We going in a million different directions!!! Anyway here's what happened last night. As SOON as I sent in my video confessional saying things are going to be fine, Pete messaged me (hilariously enough, he literally just messaged me with news AGAIN, but we'll get to that later.. it wasn't big enough to change the whole confessional) and said that things had blown up. Essentially what he told me was that Nicole is very close with Eve, but she's also very close with Jacob. Because of this those three kind of took control, and essentially Nicole wants to work with Eve/Pete/Kevin/Jacob. That would leave me and Sammy on the bottom. I knew as soon as I heard that, that Nicole's plan was to vote me out tonight. Jacob loves Sammy, so if they're working together closely, I'm the target, that much is obvious. So basically this entire day would be a race to make sure that we can sway Eve and/or Jacob and make sure the votes are on KEVIN, not on me. Because he doesn't talk to anyone. I gave my best pitch to Eve, but I don't think it worked that much, she doesn't like being in the middle. Nicole/Sammy/Jacob were all like "I'm at work" "i'm driving somewhere" "i'm at a party" lol we love excuses. I'm not buying your fake shit, you just don't want to talk to me. Notice how I said would be though.... Teehee! Well, turns out, I told Juls about all this madness, and my hero, the light of my life, has decided to help me out by giving me a Sit-out-at-tribal advantage! Not 100% sure how it works yet, I REALLY hope I get to make some dramatic play with it at tribal and actually talk about using it... But if not, I'm just glad for the safety. While I'm not 100% sure if it would be me or Kevin going home and if we could sway the votes, I'm not willing to risk my safety at the arena. It's just not going to happen. And I want to see how interesting things get when I return! So when it comes to this tribal, that's honestly my main plan. Sit out with Juls' advantage. Laugh as the fireworks play... Hope to GOD that Kevin, who probably gets sent home, dies in the Arena too. Gotta have faith he can be beat. I'm not amazing at challenges, good, but not confident enough that I'm willing to risk my spot in the Arena now that it's gotten down to all active people who are giving it their 100%. Notice how I said I'd make this quick but I didn't? Yeah this is a mess. So... tonight is going to be VERY. Very fun. You could even say it'll be a disaster..? For them, at least.

So, Darcy could prove to be a useful asset to bring close to the end. He voted for me last round, and he said he figured that'd reduce trust between us. Honestly, he's absolutely right, I want very little to do with him now, but I'm just "playing nice" until it's time to cut him out.

Billy is going. Kinda hope he comes back so we can win. Even if we don't it's nice to have an easy vote. I think I need to position myself just a little bit better here. Even if i'm not near the bottom, I need to act like it. I need to have chris and jordan's loyalty over emma. And Emma's over theirs. I need to be in the power position, without being viewed that way. Me not going on skype might help that perception. I'm good at these challenges, this one not included, so I should be solid going forward.

i’m playing a spreading info game.... is it gonna get me in trouble? maybe! it might! but it could also get me far so high risk high reward. please pray that the info i’m leaking doesn’t get tacked back to me

This first part of the game for me has been some of the worst gameplay that I've ever displayed. I've received votes every single tribal, I've made no strong connections, the only guy I trusted 100% got his ass voted out, and I'm sitting in the Arena for the second time. It makes you wonder how the fuck I do this shit without breaking down. Well, that's sort of what I did. I broke down after that tribal man, hard. I fkn hate getting emotional man but it felt like complete SHIT being alone and neglected. Truth is, every way I put it, even though I don't wanna admit it, I got no one but myself to blame. What I need in this game is a reset button. When I come back, and I WILL come back from that arena, I need to start a clean slate and get all that chaos the fuck outta there...for now. Fuck I need to win that arena. So bad. When I go back to Sonkei, Imma make sure that I'm the one on top. 

So for starters, my tribe won immunity the other day, so we got the tribal break we deserved!   Now, waiting on arena, where Juls from my tribe, Landen from Miraitowa, and Jordan from Sonkei are competing for Silver and Bronze, then Pete and Billy are competing for the gold.   In which, my ideal scenario is Billy winning the gold and coming back, as I feel like he could be a potential ally I could have come another swap or merge if him and I make it there together.  Then I'd want Juls to win the silver, since it'd be helpful for next challenge for yushu, then can potentially win another immunity!  Preferably in this scenario, Landen wins the Bronze, just so that one of the other tribes don't end up coming back with two medals.  Anyways, this game is fun, and I made final 19, now to see if I can find anything in Olympic Village this next round, as I have still yet to find something.

I'm going to go ahead and try to improve this situation slightly. I think I have the makings of a fantsatic position, it just needs to be perfect. Billy and Emma fighting at tribal while Chris was doing his own thing pretty much sums up everything I needed. I need either Chris or Jordan to be my new #1. Jordan appears to be a paranoid nut, Chris is the opposite. I tend to have greater successes with the paranoid nut, but who knows. They need to like me back, which is easier said than done. If Billy comes back we are likely winning the challenge. We won't of course, cause that's who we are, but who knows. My semester starts up tomorrow, which is going to harm my activity a tad, and I'm already not that active, but we'll see how that influences anything.

I DID IT I DID IT I FUCKING DID IT THEY ALL THOUGHT ID JUST BE A FORGETTABLE PREJURY BOOT ID SUCK AT ARENA AND BE DONE AND GUESS WHAT IVE NEVER DONE ANY SKYPE ORGS BEFORE AND I STILL FUCKING DID IT SCREW YOU JACOB C SCREW YOU SAMMY SCREW YOU NICOLE AND SCREW YOU KEVIN I AM HERE BECAUSE I FOUGHT FOR IT AND I FUCKING WANTED IT BAD AND I TOOK OUT BILLY TO BE HERE!!! HELL FUCKIN YEAH DUDE IM NOT PLAYING NICE WITH ANY OF THESE BITCHES ANYMORE 

I’ll do a video later. Billy got voted out which was unfortunate as I really like billy and vibe with him but it doesn’t make sense to flip when I think I’m in a good position right now. I had a good convo with Sarah, really vibe with her. I have my alliance with Jordan, Jacob, and Em which I feel good about they’re just real quiet. Need to talk to them more 1 on 1. I have my duo with Pines that I feel real confident about. I hope that’s not my downfall this game but I think pines and I are gonna do great things. 

https://streamable.com/2bc03 - pete wins the gold medal.mp4

Well baby dolls, basically eve tried to exclude me from an alliance but I beat that bitch to the punch! And my fearsome foursome played her like a fiddle while she thought I was going home unanimous in all actuality we had the upper hand and dropped the hammer on Pete 4-2, with Landen volunteering for the arena Eve was left to fend for herself for cute little 24 hours and chaos ensued when she realized what happened hopping between calls and chats to damage control for her lack of judgement in including me into things, therefore she feels on the outs and while I was a part of this scheme and to an extent playing a role of the victim who found solace in a group of three who wanted to vote for me, all of which is false, I’m still using these moments to rebuild a bridge I never knew got burned to ashes so she can potentially INCLUDE me in things going forward, after all we’re both out of the loop right? ;)

Tribal was quite spicy. Nobody reacted to Stoner rolling a blunt while em and billy were arguing and my soul left my body from trying not to laugh. Just found out Billy is not coming back, which honestly whew, because I feel like he'd come back with some vengeance. He's probably a good team player normally, but my only impression was..not great! Hopefully we can come together as a tribe now and aim to NOT go to tribal in the first place. Although I still feel like, entering into this new tribe, there are many, many layers. Salty, spicy layers. Like a delicious onion dip. 

Nicole, watch your ass. 

So let me backtrack to before tribal. You’re probably wondering how I got here! *record scratch* Anyway, so we constructed a tribe to have a 4-3 majority, and in doing that there was always going to come a day where when we lost we would have to choose who was going to go between Pete, Eve and Landen. I feel badly because, they’re newbies and obviously putting a reasonable effort into this game BUT, it’s the name of the game, if the returnees didn’t band together we were going to get picked off and have a hard time like Karen is on their tribe. Anyway, so the day comes and we have to go to tribal. NONE of the newbies talked to me about game before we lost. I need to point that out.  As soon as we lost Eve said “what the hell are we gonna do now”....m’am! WE? WHO’S WE? anyway, I played along and was just about to tell her we were going to vote out Pete when she says she was on a tribe with Pete and could make a good number for us. She says I can pull in Jacob...Jacob can pull in Sammy...hold on a minute. Are we leaving out Kevin? WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE KEVIN? This might as well be a Home Alone sequel because they’re leaving Kevin out of EVERYTHING! or at least that’s what I’m being told (more on that later). So I don’t want any weird advantages to get pulled out of anyone’s pocket at tribal and so I obviously go along with it, I say everyone is fine, Jacob will vote with them, we hate Kevin. Basically whatever we need to do. Honestly, I don’t feel bad. You can’t not talk to people for a full two rounds and then decide when you lose you now have a majority. Anyway so, good thing we kept the Pete vote a secret! Because I feel like Eve would have been able to make whoever had the advantage (Juls, I think) use it on Pete and then we would have been REALLY screwed. Anyway, it worked out. We voted for Pete. He left. Eve yelled. The more than curious thing that happened after the vote that makes me second guess my whole alliance is the fact that Beck came out of nowhere and told me that Sammy knew about the advantage because Juls was talking about it on a call (WHICH IS AGAINST THE RULES BC SHES AT THE ARENA BUT I GUESS WE JUST FORGET THAT PART FOR NOW BECAUSE THERES A BIGGER POINT) Anyway, in short I need to focus on keeping more info for myself and not telling my alliance. I’m used to having a ride or die alliance that I can pour info into like I did with Kinky Booties in Seychelles. I knew that info was going to aid in me going forward. Here I’m not so sure. They could literally vote me out next if they want me and push Eve into my spot because she’s a newbie and in that way, less of a threat. But anyway I tell Beck, as I’m telling them, Beck keeps writing to me as if he is being instructed to tell me more info. I don’t know if it was Juls (again, against the f*ing rules, these newbies are..!!!) or if it was someone in the alliance, maybe Jacob or Kevin. I wouldn’t think Sammy but, I don’t know. Anyway I don’t feel safe, and I’ve beat my lowest placement that I’ve ever gotten BUT, that doesn’t mean I want to get out just yet. I don’t feel good about winning this game but I would like to make it onto a jury for once (I’m always at FTC if I get past premerge 🥳) That’s all I got so far,  check back in for my MENTAL BREAAAAK after immunity results for next round bc if we lose, I’m gonna cry. I can’t deal with this again, especially since the whole Pete situation has been pawned off on me. 

SO we ended up switching the vote within the last few hours to save Karen <3! Karen made a push to save herself by going after one of the OG Blue tribe (Ben) and I was fine with the vote since me and Beck had already been in the works to blindside him in the future and since I think Karen will be more reliable at the moment I was willing to stick my neck out if Juls and Caeleb were down for the plan. With that being said I left it in their hands to make the decision so that it feels like I'm with them and shows them as power players to Beck. As soon as they made the decision I ran to Beck with the news so that he would be in the minority and for him to tell Darcy. I ended up voting Karen because I knew she would be safe but I wanted to create doubt and paranoia in everyone's mind on who voted with Ben and I think I wouldn't be the first suspect you think of. Only a subtle move. For the arena I was rooting for Billy to win to cause chaos on the Sonkei tribe and so that Pete would go home because I think Pete might become a big threat and I rather he be out now than later. Also apparently Juls used the exile to make Landen safe from their tribal council it was obvious they were each other's #1 but now other people are starting to see it. I think that we need to put an end to it because she's telling people like Sammy about her power who she's not even on a tribe with, so it shows she's planning on jumping ship the moment she's not on this tribe. Juls NEEDS to go home. I'm gonna push for her to go home this round, next time I'm on call with Beck I'm gonna try to convince him his best move is to get rid of Juls so that way a big threat is outta the game, and it makes the game that much smoother sailing. It might upset Caeleb but honestly I find people like Darcy and Karen very easy to work with and willing to work closely with me in the long term in comparison to himself or Juls. So my plan is to try and get Beck to consider going after Juls stating how she is not going to be loyal to us come a swap unlike Karen or Darcy would be. 

I, big dumb dumb, would like to retract and apologize about what I said about Beck and Juls bc when Beck told me I actually did message Juls saying I’m stressed and it didn’t occur to me that I ALSO BROKE THE RULES. I turned myself in but, yeah......it’s way harder to remember not to talk to people than I realized. Shame on me for JUDGING THEM for being newbies and not knowing how to follow the rules. This is the opposite of my proudest moment lmao 

Whew what a round. BIlly is gone and honestly gonna miss the guy, I think he would have been a great shield for me at early merge, but im not too bothered by it, because Pete is somoene I think I can work with, so like good either way with this one. If we go to tribal again I am going to be in a very awkward position. Because I dont want to vote out sarah and I think the rest of the tribe does, meaning Im gonna need to make a decision if she is gonna be expendable to me or not. ideally we win until a swap but judging by our performances so far... I wouldnt count on it. I think if we did lose Id convince stoner to work with Sarah and to take out one of emma or jacob. I liek them both but at this point Im running out of options. Im sure theyd do the same in my shoes. I'd like a tribe swap, but in the same sense Im a lil scared of a tribe swap too haha.

Reallllyyyyy tired of going to tribal. Kinda scared of billy now 

[neshabeingchildish]

Hello Stranger Part 3

At this point, I don't even feel like redoing the final authors notes. Thank y'all all. Edit: So, okay... I’m feeling better, so lemme say that I am trying out deadlines and discipline for ff WIPs. This one I planned as a three parter. So, hopefully you like the conclusion.

Hello Stranger Part 3

Henry had woke up on the couch with a start! He had been transported into the past while he slept, and was right at that moment where he let Charlotte walk out of his life. That day he didn't know he wouldn't see her for 10 years. Now that he did, every time she walked away was a nightmare. He checked his phone. He'd only gotten about 2 hours of sleep. But he still got up and headed straight to the florist shop.

Making floral arrangements gave him some peace of mind. The decision to open a real store occupy his time and set appointments for people had been one of his best ideas. Most people ordered online anyway. And it was nothing to hire a few people to just man the shop, for when he couldn't be there because of his real work as Captain Danger.

None of the staff knew of his lifestyle, nor did they have access to the Man Caves. Schwoz reprogrammed the elevator to be code activated, and they replaced a few of the damaged caves with other burrows that Henry needed. His gym, his spa, a man cave for Schwoz, one for Jasper, and Ray's retirement home… which was currently the active Man Cave, because he didn't have friends or plans but didn't want to work as Captain Man anymore.

Henry's biggest concern about Ray retiring was that he didn't want Ray to "Jason Todd" him. "If you want to relinquish Captain Man, I take up the mantle-hood for sure and for good. Schwoz works for the Man Cave, meaning me and you can't have the right or even the ability to take anything over from me." Ray had agreed to that, only because he assumed Henry would be lax about it.

Sometimes he would try to threaten Schwoz to get something his way, but Henry had given Schwoz the option to escape Ray's threats by grounding him in the Man Cave until he calmed down. The first time was a doozy. The fight that Ray and Henry had when he came to see if he'd cooled off was their biggest yet. At the end of the conversation, Henry clarified, "As long as I'm in charge of the Man Cave, you don't get to attack, threaten or violate Schwoz or Jasper. They work for me and it is a hostile work environment that I won't allow on my watch. If you can't deal with that, Schwoz will bring Halley back to babysit you, if need be." He had his tough dad voice that he sometimes had to use with his own dad and when Ray stormed to his retirement cave, he locked him out of the Man Cave for a while,just in case.

But, seeing Charlotte and recalling their argument, his words, and recollection of examples of her truth over the years… he had to make it right. He built her a bouquet and sent it to where the search engine told him her office was. The high point of his day,nope.. his decade, was seeing the reaction she posted and all of the replies.

Followers trying to guess who the mystery man was. All the heart eyes and jealous drooling. The compliments on the bouquet itself because he appreciated respect for his craftsmanship.

.

Taking things slow, Charlotte soon realized meant that Henry needed them to work at his pace. Not necessarily slow in general, but he seemed more at ease whenever he could make the first move. She could handle that. She didn't like to chase anyway, so that was preferred to her.

They were spending time together, going on dates, talking about themselves and their worlds, and not dwelling on the fight and forgiveness between them - just the future. They were helping Jasper with wedding plans, both silently thinking and wondering what their own might look like if that was ever an option. Charlotte absolutely lived for Jasper's engagement ring and whenever they went to help him pick out Don's wedding ring, she couldn't help but notice Henry looking at various other ones. So, just for laughs, she said, "Be sure to consider that it's either an ethically sourced diamond, if not just crystals, something that says she's sift and dainty, but also don't get it twisted, she's a god-damned boss."

Henry blushed and giggled, "I don't even know what that means but I'll repeat it for the vendor if I'm ever in the market. I'm more of a 4 c's, reputable jeweler with genuine care for the buyer… I feel like just like with food or with flowers, the gift of a ring has to have all of the steps outlined in love. Like… I agree with ethically sourcing, and raise you ethically selecting. The jeweler needs to help the fiance find the perfect ring for their spouse,to feel that energy in that little piece of jewelry. But also, the jewelry has to consent. She has to call you and let you know that she's willing to be that symbol for the rest of her existence…" He looked at a particular ring whenever he said that. Charlotte definitely peeped it. It was perfect. It was probably the most visible representation of her desire for a ring that she had ever seen.

Whenever Henry caught her staring at it with him, he noted the expression in her eyes. She blinked it away and smiled, saying, "Well, Henry Hart, you and some ring are going to make some person… to be honest, if anybody proposed to me having said some stuff like that, they'd better have the entire ceremony in their pocket because how do you not just marry them on the spot?" He laughed.

Jasper fussed from across the store, "I really am happy that you found love, and I'ma let you finish, but I'M the one trying to buy a ring right now!"

Both friends blushed and, and bumbled over their words, and got back to business. Henry gestured to the jeweler at the ring when Charlotte was devoting her visible attention to Jasper. He didn't know when or if he'd ever actually use it, but seeing that look in her eyes, he certainly couldn't just leave it behind… not that he was letting either of his friends see him take it today. There were so many conversations and milestones before… he could even fathom breaching that subject.

Months passed of something that he couldn't put into words. Charlotte gave him the space and speed he needed all of the time and didn't seem pressed about it. They were going to be each other's dates to the wedding, even though they were both actually in the wedding as part of Jasper's wedding party, and he was simply floating on air lately.

Three months into their relationship, he was finally ready to be sexual with her. He'd explained the first time that they got physically intimate that he "didn't really get around to gaining any experience." It took quick work for her not to facially respond to Henry admitting to her that he was not only a virgin but sort of a prude. "I just couldn't for a long time, then after a while, it was pretty embarrassing and I've never met anybody or gotten close to anybody that I could be vulnerable enough to admit this to. I hope you don't think I'm as much of a loser as I feel right now."

She collected him and strummed his face, "There's no reason for either of us to feel like you're a loser. So you haven't had sex yet. So what? There's plenty of people who haven't for various reasons and all of them are valid. The reasons and the people."

The months of kissing, cuddling, and watching Henry figure out what he liked and loved and wanted was really satisfying for her. She had forgotten what it was like to have longer journeys than a fling and sometimes forgotten how it felt to feel something for the person that she was physically connecting with. Besides that, by the time he was ready for her, she was working with a combination of 10 years of him longing, 28 years of him waiting, and the 15 years of hero physical training and working that had his body magnificent to her. Plus, she was super in love with him at that point. It was hands down the best she had ever had and as they grew, it just kept getting better.

For him, it was the fulfillment of everything that he had waited for. Charlotte was always careful not to make him feel upset or unsure. She didn't make him feel inadequate. She was clear and concise about what she could do for and to him, always making certain that he was comfortable and consenting. It was way more beautiful than he thought his first time would be. He expected her to look annoyed when he fumbled or chuckle uncontrollably when he asked what he felt like were stupid questions. She was the perfect partner though - equal portions companion and friend.

It was like he'd been living in a bubble. It was like he forgot that real life had a way of bursting bubbles. It was like he forgot that just because Ray wasn't around her, Ray didn't exist on the same plane. He had definitely forgotten that Ray had agreed to give Jasper away…

.

From the moment that he and Charlotte came into contact, Ray was pretty much at her neck. The thing about it was that they hadn’t seen each other in 10 years and the last time that he’d done this to him, she had told him about himself and didn’t take it back nor regret it a single moment. So, on this day, she certainly wasn’t going to have any of his shit.

“Ah, if it isn’t world renown problem solver Charlotte. Are you here to make sure nobody has any fun at Jasper’s wedding?”

Henry sighed threw his head back. Why hadn’t he considered that Charlotte and Ray would have bad blood.

“Oh, look - Ray Manbabychester. Riding fifty and still going on fifteen,” she commented right back. He fumed and she smiled and added, “Great to see you, Old Man.”

“I don’t look a day over 35,” he said, and while he did still look pretty good for his age, she couldn’t resist.

“Maybe not, but you don’t act a day over 5. Moving on to rehearsal, because we do want this to go on schedule, right Jasper?” Jasper fought off laughter as he nodded. For the rest of the rehearsal, Ray and Charlotte had it out. He’d try to get under her skin and she’d redirect him to what he could kiss. By the end of it, she announced to everyone, “Okay. People that we all claim to love are getting married on tomorrow. Hundreds of thousands of dollars, hundreds of hours, and immeasurable dedication has been given to this event. If I am the fun police, I’ll be that, because I’ll be damned, if anyone,” she looked directly at Ray, “jeopardizes Jasper’s special day.”

“Bridesmaid of Buzzkill, everyone!” Ray cheered.

“That doesn’t even make sense, you MASSIVE idiot!” she fussed, finally losing her cool. “I can’t believe that you’re still exactly the same as you always were...” Her voice was high pitched and screeching and she was honestly ready to sock him in the face, now thinking about the fact that he was pretty much the reason that she and Henry hadn’t spoken in as long as they hadn’t and she knew that even though Henry never said it that he probably spent that time bad mouthing her, just like he was currently doing. And now that she was thinking about it, she was a little bit mad that Henry hadn’t defended her today, not once and was getting ready to drag his ass for that too, as soon as she got him alone, but he injected himself into her fussing at Ray.

“Dude, you’ve been on her all day, and everybody is exhausted with it. Just stop.”

Ray scoffed. “Don’t. Don’t do that. Look, when I was an 18 year old kid, I let that stuff fly, but you know what she means to me and even if you don’t like her or don’t respect her, I’m not gonna just stand here while you bash her. It’s offensive to her, to me, and to Jasper, who we’re all here for… And you know… His spouse-to-be too…”

Ray folded his arms, “You’re siding with her after everything that she did to you?”

“Everything she…?” Henry clenched his fists and said to Jasper, “We’re gonna go, okay?” Jasper nodded. Ray moped as he stomped out of the building and Charlotte tried to keep steam from exploding from her ears. Henry gently pulled her aside, shook his head and said, “I am so sorry that I let that go on for so long. I promise, I was gonna get him together when he first jumped off, but you seemed like you had it and I didn’t think he was getting to you until that part. I would’ve protected you if I thought you needed it..”

She nodded, “I did have it at first. Then, he just kept taking jabs and I thought about all of the years that I put up with that kind of stuff from him. I thought about all of the realizations that I came to in my self discovery of how toxic and traumatic a lot of his verbal and emotional abuse was and the times that he literally almost killed me multiple times while I was a kid at a part time job. Then, I thought about everything that he’s done to you, and I just snapped. I know you love him. I know that I don’t fully understand your relationship. I just…"

"You're right. You were then and you are now. It took me awhile to realize it, that over the years as I was coming into myself, I saw examples and I know that you were spot on about a lot of it, even if I couldn't handle hearing it yet. I do love him and I always will, but I'm not letting those feelings get in between you and me ever again.I'm still working on me and I'm working on him. I'm working on us. I let my loyalty to Ray make us strangers, once. We were never supposed to be that. Look, I know that you don't believe in "the one" or forever, but whatever it is that you think about journeys, I think that you have to know that some of those don't end until you die. And that's what I want, with you. This journey until I'm done."

She leaned into him with a smile and said, "Henry Hart, that sounded suspiciously like a proposal."

"Well, it was definitely the set up to one. Certainly can't ask any time this weekend. Do you realize the level of Bridesgroomzilla that Jasper would unleash?"

"Oh, he would kill us."

"Precisely, and I'm not in any position to die, now that I've finally found my reason for living."

It would be an utter lie to suggest that he didn't frequently make her gush. This eas above and beyond that, though it was interrupted when Ray yelled from the door, "Henry, are we leaving or not???"

Henry groaned, forced a smile and said through his teeth, "He might wind up getting killed."

"Yeah, by Jasper if he keeps it up," she said and they parted ways. A couple of hugs and kisses later, that is. "Good luck getting Gramps settled."

He met up with Ray, scolding him while he pouted and Charlotte waved at them and watched them bicker from the window of the venue. Ray was a lot, but Henry said that he was working on him, on them,so maybe there was hope for him yet.

As for her hope, she was staring at him. He looked back, smiled and the world stopped for a while. Maybe she hadn't believed in soul mates because at the time, hers was a stranger and they were estranged. She didn't know that it could ever be this way. But, it was and her next journey just might be the longest. The stranger was gone now and her soul mate had entered the journey with her and he wanted that journey… for life.

The End.

[sugagimmesugar]

Only Fools Fall for You Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Both. RM and Namjoon. 

Chapter. 1 2 3 4 5 6 (In Progress)

“Why are you laughing?”,she asks, confused by his reaction.

His face drops, unsure whether to tell the girl he just met about RapMonster. Why can’t he just be Namjoon for a day? A few seconds of silence as he struggles to decide who to be today…..

Both. Both Namjoon and RM.

“ Actually, that’s me, I am RM. I am kind of on holiday right now, at least I have the whole day today and until tomorrow at 12 off, but in general I am in town for almost a week cause my band is playing some shows here. I was trying to be just Namjoon today but… I am RM too. Thanks for the compliment by the way, nobody’s ever recommended my own music to me.” He shoots her a shy smile, taking in her shocked reaction. Seconds later her expression changes to a mocking grin.

“Yea sure. Hozier my old buddy just popped by last week. I should really start a wall of fame in this place, with all these international celebrities dropping by all the time.” She rolls her eyes at him and leaves him sitting at the bar alone.

With a sigh, Namjoon takes out his phone, opening Spotify and starting up a playlist. “only fools fall for you” he hadn’t missed everything from her recommended album after all. While fixing a playlist he was lost in thought. He really liked this girl, hopefully he didn’t scare her away. Suddenly he comes to a solution, how he can easily convince her that he isn’t just some dickhead being cocky. He quickly checks with his manger, who reluctantly agrees.

A few minutes later, she returns, an annoyed expression on her face.

“Show me your music then, RM.”, she says, dragging out his name in a mocking manner and looking him straight in the eye.

“I am working on a proper playlist right now. But, I actually have a little, well, lets say a proposal for you.” He smirks, taking in her surprised and questioning expression. “How about, I repay you for this coffee tonight? As in, I buy you a drink. And we actually talk a bit. If you end up liking me and we enjoy each others company as much as I think we could… I fixed a backstage pass for the show tomorrow for you. It’s just an opportunity, I don’t wanna push anything on you. I just think you could have a fun night out.” She is looking shocked… again… So after a few seconds of awkward silence he decides to get back to the most important thing: “...Please, show me some more of your music! I’m really liking it so far.”, he laughs. He can see her processing what he just said. He cant help but smile at her overwhelmed look.

She shakes her head, a cautious smile on her lips, and turns to help some customers who just entered the store.

As he picks up his phone again he sees it blowing up.

*BTS GroupChat*

Hobi: RM youre bringing a girl tomorrow?

Jin: When did you meet a girl?

Jin: You havent even been out that long? Why bring her to the concert already?

JK: oooh hyung met a girl!

JK: Is she cute?

JK:  Is it a date?

JK: Send a pic!

Joon: I met her today, we are getting along great and she doesnt believe me that I am   RM so I decided to prove it to her. Also maybe its a date? We will see! She hasnt even said yes yet…..

Hobi: She hasnt even said yes yet? Well done, bro.

RM: JK I cant just take a picture of her, thats creepy.

Suga: why are you guys blowing up my phone like this? let rm try to get some swedish ass and let me nap.

V: *pic of him and Jimin doing the finger heart* cheering for u hyung!

He laughs, everybody is reacting as expected.

Getting back to the playlist he finally decides to add some BTS songs. Why not brag and prepare her for tomorrow night? He keeps on adding to the list, waiting for her to return.

“Wow, how many “favourites” do you have?” he almost jumps at the voice suddenly right behind him.

“You didn’t tell me there was a maximum number of songs allowed. I am making a playlist, putting in everything I like that you might like as well.” he turns around, facing her with a smile.

“I guess that’s valid…. But there’s no way I can listen to all that before our drink later. How ‘bout a top ten? And show me some of your band’s stuff, I wanna know what kinda concert I’m committing to before I say yes to you, stranger.” she laughs, picking up his empty coffee and putting down a notepad in front of him. “Write me a top ten list of songs you recommend by your band and some other stuff. I’ll put it on here at the store and then we can see what i decide.” she turns to leave with a wink.

He grabs her arm: “Wait, you believe me all of a sudden?”

“First of all, you can’t just grab me like that, I am still theoretically at work, even though there isn’t much to do. Secondly, I googled you, dumbass. Can’t really deny that you have the same face as RM… So I believe you. Its fucking weird, yes, but I guess the dude who’s album I have been spamming for days somehow found his way to me.” Another wink and she leaves him to sit alone… again.

A top ten list, with songs to convince her to come to the concert tomorrow? That’s surprisingly much pressure.

Eternal Sunshine by Epik High

Midsummer Madness by 88rising

So Far Away by Agust D

I can give you heaven by HONNE

U by HER

Personal by Kehlani

Make it Right by BTS

Spring Day by BTS

Baepsae by BTS

Mikrokosmos by BTS

It takes him a while but eventually he finds a way to narrow it down to 10 songs. Some of his general favourites but through the view of what y/n could like.

With a broad, dimpled grin, he waves her over. She just throws up a peace sign and nods, acknowledging his wave. A few minutes later she saunters over, two coffees in her hands.

“Thought we could both use some more caffeine, RapMonster.” she says with a small giggle. He flinches and she quickly continues “Anyways, I am ready for your list! I saw you redo it so many times I was afraid you weren’t gonna finish it today. So, hand it over and I will put it on. Any special order or just any of them? Is it a ranking?”

“Ok, so it’s not a ranking or anything, just the 10 songs I decided fit your taste best, or at least I hope so. BTS, as you know, is the group I am part of, so you can take those last. Agust D is one of the other members in the group and the song is from his solo-mixtape. Since you liked mine so much I thought you might like his stuff, too. Other than that it’s some friends of mine and general songs I jam to myself. I hope you like it.” He hands her the notepad, his 4 earlier drafts already in the trashcan closest to him. She takes it and smiles: “Oh, Kehlani! I love her! Let me just queue these and then I will be right back for the coffee.”

The two sit and drink coffee while the music plays, only occasionally interrupting the listening silence for some lyric explanations.

With the time being close to closing time, the store is empty once again, and unbothered by customers, y/n has slowly started swaying and occasionally dancing along to the music, fixing small things around the store or just dancing up and down behind the bar, just going along with the music. When “Make it Right” starts, she is fixing the last small things behind the bar. He can see her really jamming to the music and it makes him smile, he knows that ARMY loves the song and he has seen the stats and all that, but it’s something different to see someone in front of you, in such a casual way, just enjoying themselves and your music.

** Oh, oh, I can make it Right**

As the chorus hits, she is just grinning at him, dancing around him and actually singing along to it, messily since she doesn’t know the lyrics but still. A bright smile lights up his face at the view, as he watches her move through the room, putting away their mugs and lastly going to get her stuff, getting ready to leave. She emerges with a leather jacket over her arm and a bag on her shoulder. As the last notes of “Make it Right” are sounding out, she hits the pause button.

“Sorry, I’m gonna have to stop this here. I gotta lock up now so we gotta get going. Is it chill if we head to pub right away? I need to eat something before I can let you buy me a drink. I know a nice small place close to here, I doubt any of your fans would go there, so you don’t have to worry about getting recognized.” She shoots him an apologetic look as she turns off everything at the register. He gets up and gets ready to leave, waiting for her just outside the shop.

“Lead the way, you’re the local. I’ll eat anything and to be honest I am not picky with pubs, I would just prefer not to cause a scandal tonight by getting photographed at a pub with a girl.”

She laughs, “Oh god yea that would be bad. It’s just this way. Let’s go!”

[praphit]

Batman, Cults, and me in Red Latex

Getting back to my roots of writing here! No movie to speak of; just pure rambling!

I started writing way back in the MySpace days. I'd get insomnia, and so stay up and ramble about stuff while drinking rum - which in retrospect is prob a lil reckless:) I found that was the way to go for me - maybe that could be the way for some  of you as well, if you ever struggle with such a thing. 

Writing and rum, baby! 

And if you're under the legal drinking age, just tell your parents that the praphit says it's ok. 

And if the police somehow get involved, tell them... 

Nah, wait, don't mention me... say some random, rambling, black dude said it was ok. And if they ask "Was this "random black dude" the rambling praphit on Tumblr, tell them "Noooooo, he actaully said to... NEVER DRINK... EVER. And that you officers are doing an ok job out there."

Writing and rum!

It works!

Like I said, I don't have a movie this time around; I'm not even sure how I started writing about movies.

I guess I could have gone with "The Lion King"

Which btw can we talk about this scam Disney is running? - telling the same story in a live-action package. And with this one it's still animated; it's not like it's done like one of those "Planet Earth" type shows - THAT would be interesting. I remember watching a clip of a lion eating a zebra, while the zebra was STILL ALIVE! The zebra wasn't even fighting back or crying out anymore... it had totally given up, as if the lion was devouring the zebra's soul and will to live with each juicy, bloody bite. Hey, Elton John, sing a song to that. #circleoflife

What if they followed real wild animals around in Africa, and watched the true circle of life. You could have the actors/team improvise the script depending on what's happening, and due voice-over. I feel like with real animals,  the "Hakuna Matata" scene might go differently.

I'm not shaming anyone for going and enjoying these movies. I had a plan to see "Aladdin", but somehow ended up seeing "Child's Play" instead 

(funniest movie I've seen all year btw). 

I might still go see Aladdin. BUT, it's still a scam. Toss in a lil controversy every now and then with the casting to inflate numbers... that mouse knows what he's doing. It's a good scam! What's next? - telling the same stories, but using puppets... sock puppets; that would be a new low.

But, somehow I feel like we'd still flock to the theatres. We love that Mouse!

I don't blame him. Kinda makes me want to run some type of scam within in music (my industry). What would be the music equivalent of what Disney is doing? I don't think that there is one. Anytime you change a song a lil bit, it's totally changed. 

If I decided to do a cover set of Miley Cyrus songs, exactly the same way that she did them, it would still be totally different. Btw, if I ever do that, please stop me. It'd be clearly a cry for help. Imagine if I started mimicking every vid she ever did as well - same choreography and outfit. 

Don't imagine that.

I guess artists put out remastered stuff sometimes, but I feel like those never sell.

...

...

Sorry, I'm distracted... still thinking about redoing Miley's vids.

I DO have a wig that matches what she has going on there (you don’t need to know why:) , and red sunglasses.

And how about me rockin some red latex??! Yeah! 

Nah, I wouldn’t do it. Only cuz I think that the chafing would be too intense, OR maybe I’ll like the way it looks and feels too much, and decide that’s simply going to be my regular look from now on... making everyone around me uncomfortable... with my intense sexiness. Don’t imagine that either; it may be too sexy from some:)

Ugh... is the fact that I'm even joking about it a cry for help?

The industry for an artist is the real scam. The music industry always wins. The game is rigged. That's why I've been thinking that we musicians should all go on strike. Everyone in music would have to be in on it though. 

Imagine your life with no music:

- no playlists (though that would have to involve some serious hacking, but imagine road trips without them) - no music in movies or shows - no sexy music to get into "the mood" - y'all would have to sing to each other -  Though I guess Aladdin and Jasmine got down like that, so y'all might be ok. New mating ritual.

- no background music anywhere you go (festivals, restaurants, strip clubs:) - we won't even sell any instruments NOTHING! Gotta go extreme sometimes to make people listen.

Maybe we'll toss people a song every now and then out of mercy. But, we'd only allow annoying songs - "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls

"My Humps" by BEP :)

It would take true power to make that happen.

I had thought about ruling the world once. I had a plan to take over the world; it was actually in motion. Yep! It would have worked too, cuz no one would have seen it coming. You would no longer call me your rambling praphit, but OVERLORD!

Like I said, no one would have seen it coming. 

Thanos... and whoever tried to dominate in Justice League in that movie. What was his name? Idk, no one cares, he was terrible. Those guys went too big. You've gotta Keyser Soze it! Play chess, not... Idk, professional wrestling.

I stopped my plans because I figured that I'd just get bored. I get bored easily. Ask anyone I work with - there are times when I'll just leave and go to the movies, or the mall, or the bar, or... on some sort of quest:) Sometimes, I'll dump a project all together cuz I'm simply not feeling it anymore.

Now, DESTROYING the world, THAT seems like it'd keep my attention. Don't worry, I wouldn't hurt the people... unless they stood in my way.

I'd make sure to ship them off to... Saturn or something... can we live on Saturn? Hmm... maybe I'll need to get help with that part of my plan. So, maybe I WILL still take over the world. Once I'm bored ruling after like a week, I'll get my man Elon Musk to ship y'all off to a planet safely, and then the fun begins!

I imagine that there'll be some resistance, though Idk why. Let's be honest, this planet is doomed anyway. We can fight about how and why, but... c'mon we all know it'll eventually burn out. So, just let me have my fun! I'll make sure that there's plenty of big screens wherever Elon sends you to for my big show:)

But, if people want to fight their first and last Awesome Master Overlord on it (I think the "Awesome Master" in the front is better, don't you?), then we can go.

You won't stand a chance though. I'll have all of the best action stars fighting by my side. That's right MY SIDE. They're used to winning; what you think they're gonna fight with you? Psssh, I'll have all of the weapons and tech... plus I'm sure I'll be some type of cyborg, mutant... wizard as well.

But, I'll also have Keanu, Statham, Denzel, Liam, The Rock... I'm realizing that the action hero world is very male dominated. I'll fix that once I'm your Awesome Master Boombastic Overlord. Which woman can I put on my team?

How about Rihanna? 

Yeaaaaaah...

I know what you're thinking - that I could have found a more... suitable pic. Annnnnd you're right.

JUST LET ME HAVE THIS! I mean look at her... DAMN!

FINE!

Scratch that. Rihanna’s not really an action hero anyway, I guess... at least not that type of action. Ooooooh! Haaaaaaa!

No?

C’mon, that’s funny

Whatever. I’ll move on.

The strongest woman in many respects that I can think of off the top of my rum filled brain is Serena Williams. So, we'll say her,

Amanda Nunes ( who doesn't get enough credit for how awesome she is btw)

Megan Rapinoe? I don't know if she can fight or not, but she's tough. I feel like if I put the arsenal of Rambo at her feet, she could save the day all day!

Annnnnnd Alyssa Milano? Idk her stance on violence or guns (though I'm sure she'd have no problem letting me know:) So Idk about her fighting, but she's resourceful though... maybe use the power of sex strikes or something.

(She’s like “Keep on joking and see what happens.”)

Where was I??

I don't remember.

I did want to address those chants from a week ago though "Send Her Back!" I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while, but those chants brought it back fresh to me.

Don't worry, I won't be getting into the politics surrounding it. - I mean what's the point? We never listen to each other anyway. I just want to say this, I have a lot of experience when it comes to cults (I know this seems like it's irrelevant, but stay with me) -

I know cults (don't ask, why let me horrify you:)

But, there are a handful of things that are foundational in cults. I'll bring up two of them:

1) Having a leader (or leaders) who is more concerned with their vision than they are about their people. So, the individuals pain, loss, abandonment, etc means nothing in comparison to their plan.

2) Having people who are all in on a person, ideal, or cause, to the point that they no longer care about the details of what leaders say, do, or sometimes don't do.

Now, the people described above aren't always meaning to be malicious. For example #1 - I've known many pastors who are good people, pure hearted, I might even call them friends in some respects, but they're blinded by their own vision (or "God's vision for them"). They're not trying to hurt others, but they do.

And #2 - they're are certainly people of admirable zeal in a variety of areas (ex. patriotism). They might not be "bad people", they might even think their position is righteous, but when we start to ignore facts, harmful behaviors... when we make ANY person (all of us being imperfect) a symbol of our "righteous cause", we've lost our way.

It's scary (especially being a minority) to see a whole nation exhibit these tendecies. And this is me being gracious (prob due to the rum I keep drinking).

BUT, enough of that... there's something else that is heavy on my heart - BATMAN (our next one that is)

Cuz... I mean... really?

Robbie P?

That's a damn shame! Nobody else wanted to play Batman? We've got the pretty boy, emo, glittery, vamp? What has he done since then? What has he done that has ever been intimidating? Even as a vamp he was lame.

And the Winter Soldier wants to play the Riddler? I don’t think that’ll happen or if the Riddler will even be in the next Batman. But, let’s say that it did. Wouldn’t it feel like they got those two roles mixed up? 

I don't even think Robbie P is intimidating enough to play The Riddler honestly. Sebastian Stan (Winter Soldier) is kinda ripped right? 

He's gonna have to lose some of that muscle before he goes up against Robbie P. I can see right now - The Riddler planning out an elaborate puzzle/trap for Batman, then seeing that it's Robbie, and being like "what do I need theses riddles for?" and then beating the living snot out of Batman. It'll be a worse beating than Bane gave him. 

Filled with rage cuz he knows HE would make a much better Batman.

Now, to be fair, I was wrong about Ben Affleck. I actually liked Ben's take on the role. It made me long for a more old, grizzled, out-of-touch Batman - hear me out:

I'm thinking old Batman, but kinda hulked out. Is Stone Cold Steve Austin still around and kickin to play this Batman?

  Gimme a hell yeah!

But, this Batman I'm envisioning is stuck in the old wmindsets of misogyny and racism - stay with me, cuz this will be an awesome Batman... well, movie... and awesome Batman MOVIE:)

To balance Batman out and keep the angry Twitter mob away from him, he'll have a team of "wokeness". Batwoman will be played by AOC.

Robin will be played by Jimmy Kimmel (you know you want to see him in those tights).

And Alfred's last wish in his will (after being mauled to death by a pack of bunnies... in the first scene of this movie) was to have his brain put inside of the body of a black woman. And that black woman will be Beyonce (cuz this movie will need a kick ass soundtrack).

Think about THAT sitch!

Annnnnd Ben Carson will play himself - he'll be Batman's token black friend/informant.

Already, the best movie ever.

I could see a scene going down like (Bats and the Woke Gang are in a bar... cuz my Batman will be an alcoholic... this Bats has a lot of problems, but he'll be real and raw... YES!)

Batman (after having the waitress bring him two more shots of whiskey, slaps her on the butt and says "Thanks, Sweetness.")

WokeTeam: "Batman! You can't do OR say that!"

B: "What?! Why?!"

WT: "It's ...just awful."

B: "What? If I don't smack her on the butt, how will she know that she did a good job? I'm being helpful!"

WT: (lots of arguing)

B: "Ok, ok, I won't do that... or call her that I guess... how about lil lady? is that ok? or Sugar Plum?"

WT: "Her name is Lisa"

B: "I got it! BIG BOOTY"

WT: "What is wrong with you? - that's ridiculous! Look, we'll deal with that later. Let's hurry up and get to the crime scene. And on the way we want to talk to you about the confederate flag on the Batmobile...annnnnd the Kaepernick sticker that calls him a Son of a Bitch"

B: "Why? He hates America. And there's nothing wrong with that flag!"

WT: "Bu, Batman..."

B: "No, no, I know there isn't, let me call Ben."

Sooooo, there are scenes like that, BUT he's also out there kicking major ass! It'll be like "Matrix" action meets "Sin City" action. And we'll update the villains -

Bump N Grinder

Fyre Man

 and his side kick “The Sucker”

“The Comedian?” (that question mark is part of her name)

Keep the classics of course

Annnnd his arch nemesis Iggy Azalea 

- ruining Hiphop wherever she goes.

And in the end asses are BRUTALLY kicked, sure, but Batman also learns some important lessons... or... or simply blows his brains out. Cuz let's be honest, some of us would rather blow our brains out than try to change.

Hey, DC... call me.

My next movie will prob be "Once Upon a time in Hollywood" 

cuz of my main man Leo! - though idk about the premise. Now, if they were making "Fight Club 2" with this cast, then definitely! What if Leo and Margot Robbie (who’s also in this) are also in Edward Norton’s head; duking it out. YES! Imagine if Quentin Tarantino directed Fight Club with his typical bloody style; we’d all still be horrified). 

So maybe "Hobbs & Shaw" 

 - those two of course, but Idris Elba is in that too! I love him!

He would have been a great Batman! I bet he could have gotten that role if he had tried. He def could have gotten that James Bond role if he had tried. But, nope, instead he decided to do "Cats"

I'll leave y'all on that thought.

[mashitandsmashit]

America’s Got Talent: Season 14 - Auditions 4

Terry’s really establishing his presence on the show now! It’s early to call, but he might go on to be the best host of this show to date!

He’s making such an impression that a man played the flute AND stripped! It’s like he came SPECIFICALLY with the intention of baiting the host to join him and combine his two most well-known talents!

Anyway, enough about the obligatory weekly joke act, because boy do we have quite a few quality acts to talk about for THIS week!

10: Ansley Burns. Once again, the bottom entry is a generally solid singer...But she’s pretty much more or less at the same level of Angelica Hale (right down to having the same monkey ears!) I guess give her props for performing an upbeat and fun song, not to mention an Aretha song that ISN’T “Natural Woman”! (She’s allowed to be remembered for other songs! GRAMMYS!!!) I suppose I could complain about Simon doing that “Stop! Redo!“ thing again, but I think he had a good enough excuse this time, as the track WAS drowning her out, and it’s not like he made her perform a different song...It’s just that we’ve seen dozens of young girls sing at this level on the show by now, and in an ideal world, that girl from last week (who was ALSO infatuated with Simon) will outlast this one...

9: Dominguez Poodles. I will admit, when I watched the preview videos for this episode, I wasn’t exactly optimistic since they usually preview some of the highlights, and neither of the two acts previewed really excited me...But they ended up being the bottom two entries of this list anyway, and I certainly didn’t dislike either of them...It’s just that aside from putting the little girl in that cute little costume, this didn’t do anything that I haven’t seen from every other dog act to date...Extra points off for the dab! But maybe they’ll find something new with this act for future performances...I just stifled a laugh...

8: Cirque de Sewer. Yup...I’m putting the rat act over the dog act...What of it!? It’s mostly an amusing little party act, but it entertained me...And I guess pervs got a good look at the lady’s underpants as the rat crawled across them, something that would evoke a blood-curdling scream from most women if it was them in her place, so extra points for that...(Perhaps the rat SHOULD be named Hentai as some Youtube commenters mistook to hearing...)

7: Sos. So...did he steal his name from his dad, or is he Sos Junior or something? I’m confused...Anyway, while he does already have more to offer than his parents ever did, I was mostly pretty bored with the performance...Nothing super surprising or anything...Maybe he will improve in later rounds, but for now, it felt generic and kinda empty...

6: Detroit Youth Choir. I suppose this is the weakest Golden Buzzer of a host since the stripping grandma, but I’ll let Terry have this one since they clearly hit the big guy in the feels...(All I could think of is this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsAyiElQKtM) Choirs are a hard sell for me, but when they manage to be entertaining enough, they can stand out...In terms of entertainment, I’d place this performance as weaker than Angel City Chorale’s first two performances last year, but stronger than their later two...While I definitely would have preferred someone else...Meh, I’ll take them! (PS, that wide-eyed kid peeking in from the back killed me!)

5: Voices of Service. Everything about this act just screams, “GIVE US A GOLDEN BUZZER!!!” Perhaps they will get it at the Judge Cuts...In fact, I won’t be surprised if they intentionally schedule them for the one where Brad Paisley’s the guest judge...But I do really like their harmonies, and the token female alone just commands the stage! Honestly...I’m kinda rooting for them! Sure it’s pandering like nobody’s business, but they’re talented enough that they can kinda get away with it...

4: Andy Rowell. Well, I think it’s pretty obvious that this man takes a lot of inspiration from a certain other late comedian named Andy, and while this may not even approach the brilliance that is the “Mighty Mouse” routine, it was still great seeing someone recapture the spirit of it! (What next? Is he gonna impersonate Elvis? Wrestle women? Spend five minutes on stage eating ice cream?) But like that comedic contortionist from a few weeks back, he will probably end up being pigeonholed as “The Karaoke Guy”, no matter how funny his later performances are, and it will probably hurt him in the long run...Still, this is an audition I will remember, and on a less excellent night, would easily make the Top 2 or 3...

3: ADEM Dance Crew. Ranking the Top 3 of this episode will not be easy, as they are all VERY close together and are among my favorite auditions of the season so far! I’m almost inclined to tie them all! But I guess at the end of the day, this was, by a VERY tiny margin, the least unique of the bunch...Saying that about a bunch of dudes dressed like bootleg “Mortal Kombat” characters is a testament to the two acts that beat them...But the body-popping was at a whole new level from what I’ve seen in the past, and how Not-Sub-Zero managed to keep himself in that position in the end is insane! If it was a lesser man, it would FINISH HIM! This whole performance was a FLAWLESS VICTORY! And like Julie said, they slayed everyone! FATALITY!!!

2: Berywam. I just didn’t want this to stop! Just listening to these guys makes me want to get up and dance with them! As much as I love Pentatonix, they got NOTHING on this group!

1: Marcin Patrzalek. Here’s one pretty-boy with acoustic guitar who I want to go all the way in this game! And as long as he has both the horny ladies AND variety voters backing him, he could very well do so! One of my favorite talents on this show is taking a rather mundane instrument and doing something extreme and different with it, and that is exactly what he did with an instrument usually associated with the most trite and boring AGT contestants...This might be my favorite act of the season so far!

Now THIS was a show! Hands down the best of the season so far!

It looks like next week will be the final audition, so we’ll just see what kind of act Julie picks to stamp her endorsement all over throughout the season...I might already have an idea what form this act will come in (as may you if you’ve watched the early promos), though I don’t know yet what the talent is...But they’re hyping it up quite a bit, and I even remember Howie saying somewhere that one of the GBs will make your jaw drop...None of the other ones so far have exactly done that, so I’m preparing for something crazy...

Kodi Lee’s still looking like the star player of this season so far (which translates to biggest front-runner), but we’ll see if that changes next week...

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Game of thrones/ AsoIaF ask game

Tagged by @a-song-of-quill-and-feather thanks buddy

Answer the following 10 questions and then make up 10 of your own

1. Of the alive characters who would you like to see live to the end and who would you like to see die by the end?

I would absolutely love to see Theon make it until the end because that boy has been through so much already and deserves a good life. Also all the Starks...tbh I’d love most of the main cast to live but there’s no way that’s going to happen. The only characters I really WANT to see dead by the end are the Night King, Euron, and Cersei; NK is pure chaos and Euron just neets to stay the fuck away from my son.  I actually love Cersei as a character but I can’t see her being able to live and still leave all my faves alone so...

2. Which book/season is you favorite? Why?

My favourite book is AGOT, the first one, mostly because I just have really positive memories of reading it the first time, and I love the atmosphere GRRM creates at the very beginning, in the introductions to all the places that later become familiar to the reader. The beginning of an epic story like this is always fun to read. Show wise, I really like season 1 for the same reasons, but my favourites have to be a tie between seasons 4 and 6. I felt like season 4 was a real turning point for a lot of the characters, many of the mains began their storylines at the end of that season which would then get them directly to where they are now, or at least got them into a very different situation than the ones they had been in, and I found those transitions interesting. Tone-wise, it was also the beginning of a lot of changes for the same reason; at lot of characters were being put into new and different situations and that created a change in atmosphere overall. And season 6 was just iconic. Also that was the season that was actually airing at the time that I started watching the show, so it was the first time where I was really aware of what was happening and who everyone was during the current season, so I am nostalgic for it a little.

3. Who, outside of the usual candidates, would you think do well on the Iron Throne? Why?

I actually hope nobody ends up on the throne, but outside of the regulars (I’m assuming you mean Dany, Jon, and Cersei) I’d say Sansa? I think she has shown a lot of capabilities as a leader and knew Cersei long enough that she has a good idea of what NOT to do lol. Again, I hope/ think it’s going to end up with no one person ruling, but if someone had to I would be okay with it being her.

4. If you could undo one character death who would it be and why?

Oooh that’s tough because I wouldn’t want to change the story too much? Like I’d love Ned to live, but then basically nothing in seasons 2-7 ends up happening. So I’d say Shireen because she was just a sweetheart who didn’t deserve THAT. Or maybe Barristan, I liked his dynamic with Daenerys and I would have liked to see how it evolved over seasons 6-8. (Also just realizing now I would love Barristan and Davos to meet each other)

5. What prophecy from the books/show is your favorite?

How many prophecies are there? The only one I’m really aware of is the Azor Ahai thing and I’m still not even really clear on the specifications of it. I remember in the books the Ghost of High Heart had some prophetic dream that foreshadowed a bunch of stuff so I guess that one?

6. What house do you think you would be a part of? (Not necessarily your favorite but the one you fit amongst best) Why?

House Tully. They’re just sort of chill and trying to stay out of everything. I feel like they’re kind of like the Starks but less hardcore and living in a warmer climate, so I’m in. Only problem is I can’t swim...

7. What battle has been your favorite so far? What about least favorite?

I LOVE the battle of the bastards. The cinematography is absolutely stunning; as soon as they started doing that long take I knew I was in for a wild ride. Also the 3 main soundtracks ( “Let’s play a game”, “Bastard,” “Trust each other,”) are probably my favourite battle themes from the whole show.

8. What story from before the present would you like to read/see most?

Not really a story in itself but I’d just like to see sort of a day in the life of the generation before everyone in the current story, from all their different houses. Like, Ned and his siblings as kids, Cersei and her brothers (or even Tywin and his siblings) all the parents at the beginning of the story and how they grew up, perhaps it would give some insight into their relationships with the kids that we see during the story.

9. Would you rather your favorite character live but be in your least favorite ship for them, or die but after having been in your favorite ship for them?

Oh no oh no why do you make me answer this?? Okay my favourite character is Theon and I’d absolutely love if he ended up with Sansa...problem is my notp with him is Ramsay but he’s dead so the first part doesn’t really apply? I guess I’d rather him die but have some romance with Sansa first, even though that would destroy me.

10. If you woke up as a character from the show/book who would you want to wake as most? What would you do different?

Pre- series Ned, JUST TELL YOUR WIFE ABOUT JON, JESUS. Also I’d just get him to make some smarter decisions; Ned was a smart guy but a lot of the time he got so caught up it doing “the right thing” that it ended up benefiting the people he was trying to go against. He’s like one of those guys that votes for an objectively better but really unpopular third party candidate because he’s so loyal but only ends up getting the vote split.

Ok MY questions...

1:If you could take any character and bring them into our world for a couple days to show them what life was like, who would it be?

2: Favourite deviation from the books to the show?

3:What moment in the books or show made you go “this is it, I’m hooked”?

4: Was there ever a moment when you were genuinely scared your favourite character was going to be killed off? (if they’re not dead already)

5: Are there any interesting parallels that you’ve noticed between earlier and later seasons/ books?

6: What’s a reunion or first time meeting you’re looking forward to in TWOW/ sesaosn 8- that hardly anyone else is talking about?

7: If all the surviving characters were to go back as they are now and redo their own storylines, which do you think would do the best job of it?

8: What non- story element of the tv show is your favourite? (eg. acting, costume design, music)

9: Without actually saying who it is (you can say in the tags if you like), describe your favourite character really, really badly OR describe your least favourite character in a very flattering way

10: Are there any plotlines that you think could have been combined or separated from each other? Eg. Arya and Tyrion meet each other while both in Essos, Oberyn has his own storyline instead of coming to King’s Landing

I’m tagging @mhysaofdragons, @motherofkittens94, @proskenion04 and @selkiewife if you guys are interested and haven’t already done it

[painfulstitches17]

The Fires of Spring

4. Playing games.

Sitting back to the wall, not far from the dimly lit door, Bandit took his first sip. He was instantly reminded as to why Smoke was never trusted with chosing alcoholic beverages, it tasted awful, but it probably was a strong brew knowing the man. Drinking was most likely not the greatest decision he could make as of right now, not only because of how messed up he felt, but because he had to see his therapist the next morning. Doc pushed him to get an emergency appointment once on base and he had lost the courage to fight back. He'd already been under 'surveillance' since Hannover, as he liked to put it.

What could he possibly say ? Unbalanced individuals were a liability when your job consisted of holding a weapon in your hands, depending on the gravity of the illness. He was suicidal, too coward to do it himself, and he just tried to jump on three enemies alone and expecting it to fail. He knew why he felt this way, Doc had his idea and he wished the rest of the GSG9 wouldn't catch on, not for now at the very least. His world was at risk.

He was three beers down when the door to the roof opened. Bandit had been expecting Smoke for a while now, both of them didn't know who was the most surprised when it turned out to be Jäger opening the door, who instantly sighed, please God have mercy.Jäger marched towards him, the last thing Bandit wanted was a redo of the 'conversation' they had this morning.

"Smoke told me he saw you go up to the roof with two packs of beers and that you looked depressed."

"And he told me we'd drink a few beers together after he gave back his latest report." Bandit managed to blurt out.

"Sounds like we got played." And with that, Jäger took a sit next to him picking up a beer from the crate then opening it. Neither of them looked like they knew what to do, the growing silence was slowly becoming uncomfortable. Laying his eyes on Jäger, although anxious by doing so, Bandit's heart started melting again, it had felt like a lifetime in a day and as much as he hated Smoke right now, he was glad to have Marius back at his side. Crossed legs in dark joggings, his arms lazily resting on his thighs as he was fidgeting with his bottle, the sleeves of his undershirt rolled up, looking into the horizon, Jäger was trembling. He couldn't believe it was the same man who was screaming at him earlier today. Bandit wanted to touch him, whisper his name, kiss him. Sounded like the beer was talking, or maybe he was listening to his heart for once.

"Marius" hesitation suddenly struck as their eyes met, the words struggling to get out of Dom's throat "I thought you'd prefer to stay away from me for a while."

Marius' eyes felt like they were piercing him to his very core. "Well, I'm not going to let you drink alone. I doubt James is going to show up any time soon."

Was that it ?

"You know what, let's play a game Dominic." He looked serious. What kind of game could two grown men play while drinking beer on a roof ? Especially after such an argument ? Probably one he wouldn't like very much. "I'm going to- No, we're going to ask each other questions and we have to answer honestly. No bullshit Brunsmeier" Jäger lifted his drink, waiting for an agreement.

Bandit was reluctant. He couldn't think about anything positive coming out of a 'game' like this one. Jäger was most likely trying to get something out of him, right ?Couldn't he do the same thing then, get a few doubts out of his head in return ? He pushed his drink against Jäger's in agreement."I expect you to be honest Dom, I won't lie and you shouldn't." Bandit nodded. What had he gotten himself into ? "Guess I'll start. Why are you depressed Dominic ?"

"Hannover, most of it. And Cedr-" he stopped himself, the name couldn't get out, it felt like he just burnt his tongue. Jäger probably understood anyway. So much for keeping it a secret. "How was your life before you joined the army ?"

Jäger laughed. "Fuck, I wished you wouldn't ask me something like this ! You already know my uncle so that's not  new. I uh, I was doing fine in school but... I felt pretty lonely. My uncle was and still is great don't get me wrong, though most people didn't get me and even when they kind of did, nobody had such a passion for machinery. Maybe an  obsession. I ended up surrounding myself with dubious people at best. Fortunately I didn't keep them in my life for long. I turned out fine afterward, don't you think ?"

"Yeah, you're alrigh when you don't open your mouth." Bandit couldn't help but poke fun at him, smirking.

"You're being mean now." The smile Bandit received reignited the flame in his stomach. "Why did you do that ? Why did you go on your own without telling me ?" He wasn't laughing anymore.

Bandit feared the answer would break him, but he had made some sort of promise, right ? "I don't really know what went through my head Marius. I..." He suddenly felt like running away and never coming back. "For fuck sake, I hoped it would go wrong. N-not the mission I mean... That it'd be my last." He saw Jäger's shoulders slump, he was taking the answer in. "You wanted me to be honest right ? I'm sorry. Truly, I'm not just saying what you want to hear. Please forgive me."

The way he was being looked at... "I do forgive you. Don't do something stupid Dominic, please. You're not alone. I want to apologise too, I almost hurt you..."

Bandit put his arm around his shoulders. "It's okay, you weren't wrong you know, I can be an idiot. Do you still feel lonely ?" The need to hold him tight was strong, do more.

The soft smile on Jäger's face was reassuring him. "No, I'm fine. I've got plenty of people to talk to now, you're one of them. I only feel it again when I'm depressed but it fades away after a while." Did he just press himself against Bandit ? The alcohol must be stronger than usual for Marius. "Dominic... You're not going to like this but," Jäger sighed "what exactly happened in Hannover ?"

The terrible question he made sure to never answer for years. Could he even find the words ? There was a slight nausea rising along his anxiety, Jäger was right, he didn't like it, he hated it. "Around that time, my mission was coming to an end, we had far more information than we had bargained for. My colleagues were surveiling the area, getting intel, the usual. One night someone fucked up, the gang caught a cop. It was my brother. We were both confronted." He stopped. It was hard getting the words out.

"You can stop if it's too hard for you Dominic." There it was, the pity. Was it really ? Jäger was the one saying it, he could trust him.

"No, it's fine. It's funny because I almost freaked out you know, I did this for four years and all of a sudden I couldn't get my shit together. So he did what he could, insult me, pretending we loathed each other. Anything that could save me, he said it. How much of a fuck up I was, how our parents would  be disappointed after I disappeared. They weren't true, he was talking to ■■■■■■■, the man I played not me, but I sure did become a piece of shit. I got instructed to torture himMarius." There was a pause, Jäger looked like he had seen a ghost. Should he stop, was this too much ? "I did it. Worst thing I've done in my life, and we've killed. I don't remember much of what happened afterward. I know that our colleagues had to intervene but it's a blur. The last time I saw him he was in a coma. I've cut all ties."

"Dominic." Jäger had sighed his name again. He suddenly felt lighter, if for a moment. "I'm sorry you had to go through this."

"I chose that path. Feels like I'm still paying the consequences but I knew what I was getting into, somewhat." He squeezed Jäger a little bit. "Thank you."

The heavy silence that followed was hard to deal with. They were still against each other and none of them were going to budge. It was Bandit's last beer, he felt fine, if a bit tipsy but nothing major. Jäger on the other hand seemed to be handling it worse than he thought he would. He realized that even when they went out, he never drank much, if he outright didn't. Could it be that he didn't handle alcohol very well ?

"Maybe you should visit your family again." Jäger said in almost a whisper, did he not want it to be heard ? "I doubt that's a good idea Marius, not after what I've done." Bandit stared as Jäger drank the rest of his beer in one go, then picking up another one. He should stop him. "You should think on it. I'd go with you even."

Dom couldn't help but laugh at the proposition, making the other frown. "It's my turn isn't it ? Have you ever been with someone Marius ?" Red to the face, he looked so damn cute that way. Was Bandit being inappropriate ? He could always blame the alcohol if his curiosity was ever questioned. "I had a girlfriend years ago, for what ? Six months ?" Jäger scoffed. Bandit's heart sank, he should've known, of course his friend was probably as straight as a board. He got pulled out of the trainwreck of his thoughts as he felt fingers trace the bones of his hand. Jäger was looking away. "If I can be honest, I didn't like it. She was nice, a good person... But it felt strange, you know ? I never tried again. I think I know why."

"You can tell me if you'd like, If you trust me enough." Jäger was laughing again, he looked increasingly worse, he should snatch his new beer away. "I trust you Dominic. I do. I've always felt different, I tried to push it down a long time ago. How old was I ? Fourteen ? Being weird was more than enough so when I realized that... That..." he stopped. He was holding Dom's hand now. "That I was gay I preferred not acting on it. I've convinced myself it was just a phase for so long." Relief, selfish, selfish relief. Bandit had a terrible idea, terrible. How could he possibly resist ? "Have you ever kissed a man before ?" The question made Marius visibly wince. "N-no." His voice was so quiet all of a sudden. It didn't felt right, should he do it ? "Would you like me to kiss you ?" The nod he was met with made his doubts disappear.

He pressed his lips against Jäger's, it was divine, even better than he had imagined. His hands slid down to the other's waist, keeping him gently in place against the wall with his own body. Their kiss went from gentle to more passionate as Marius put his arms around Dominic's neck. It felt so right, like it was meant to be.Their lips pulled apart to grasp much needed air before meeting again, their grip even stronger. They finally broke contact after what felt like ages, Jäger panting and Bandit longing to go at it again, using his tonguesounded nice.

"Is that why you were treating me differently ?" It took some time for Dominic to concentrate on the words that had just been spoken to him. "Yes, absolutely."Jäger looked suddenly confused.

"I love you Marius." ___ Chapter Index.