#i guess i can public it here

[ilovewillsolace]

the harsh light of the lamps hurt even the closed eyes, but at the same time, invigorating fresh air entered the lungs.

— the bag could have been washed, — Octavian grimaced capriciously, almost on the verge of arrogance.

an unheard—of audacity, considering his hands tied behind his back, and the fact that he was tied to a chair.

— oh, where are my manners, your praetorian Highness? — a tall guy in glasses and a medical gown with golden skin covered with freckles came into his field of vision; white fluorescent light was tangled in blinding puddles in his exuberant mop of the same golden hair — it seems it was the same son of Apollo. — next time we will definitely take a silk bag and satin ribbons for binding for you.

he leaned his lower back against the table in front of the centurion; the threat came from this guy almost in waves, but Octavian was calm and breathing steadily. he carefully watched every movement of this man, trying to anticipate the next step.

— so, — the medic began in a light, cheerful tone, holding a cigarette in his teeth and striking a lighter, making the Roman, who hated the smell of tobacco, wince with disgust, — what would you do with me if we switched places?

the centurion was confused by such a strange question, so he was taken aback for a moment.

but he was able to overcome himself and, frowning, still answered:

— nothing.

— nothing? — his interlocutor raised his eyebrows in amazement, releasing almost a cloud of tart cherry smoke into his face.

Octavian coughed.

— Yes, nothing! — from an overabundance of emotions, his voice involuntarily jumped up, — it's you who are sleeping and see how to try out all the methods of the Gestapo on me, and I don't want to sacrifice a single life!

The son of Apollo grinned caustically, and his glasses gleamed unkindly in the cold white light:

— and I have to believe the man who started the war to destroy my camp? — he poked him with his cigarette and burst out laughing.

— what? — Octavian breathed out incredulously, — have I started?! it was you who shelled my city, spitting on all the deals and truces! — anger, disappointment and resentment overwhelmed him in multi-ton waves, dragging him to the bottom.

the guy stopped at the same second, freezing like a motionless statue:

— what? Have we attacked?

it seems to have really become news to him.

the Roman shifted in his chair, trying to get comfortable, but the tight ropes only cut deeper into his thin body. He exhaled furiously,

— Why do you think I would attack your camp? — The centurion asked quietly.

— because you're a maniac, a sadist and a fucking psycho? — the guy declared, as if trying to convince himself that such a person is sitting in front of him.

Octavian stared at him in shock, he responded with an attentive, studying look, as if he was looking for any inconsistency with his words in the augur's reaction.

— I see, — he finally managed, feeling his mouth fill with bitterness.

— and what is clear to you? — the interlocutor asked with emphasis.

— a lot of things. but first of all, it is useless for me to say or do anything, it will be easier to execute me.

Apollo's son frowned:

— what makes you think that you will be executed?

Octavian smiled bitterly, trying to blink away unbidden tears:

— Oh, believe me, too many people want me dead, because for them I'm a scapegoat.

— is it not so? — the interrogator smiled caustically.

the Roman bit his lip, coming up with the most effective answer.

— and what would you do if your house was bombed by people who allegedly came to you in peace? — he spat out.

— they don't... — the guy started, but stopped and, frowning, exposed himself to Octavian.

— oh, yes, — he growled, bursting with accumulated feelings all the time, — and then they accused me of shooting at my own house! — the augur's already high-pitched voice has now risen almost to the level of falsetto; he fell silent exhausted, breathing heavily, because of which the ropes began to dig into his chest.

the medic winced, as if he saw something unpleasant, and rubbed the bridge of his nose:

— oh, you're not yourself.

— Oh, come on," Octavian spat out tartly.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to rip open his chest with his own fingers, pull the heart out of it and throw it somewhere against the wall. He wanted to fall through the ice, so that the scalding icy water filled his lungs, dragging him to the bottom forever. He wanted to be anywhere but here. He wanted to feel nothing.

Octavian hated himself more than ever, finally facing the truth and realizing that he would never be understood and accepted. they won't even listen to him. anger boiled up in him again, searing to the very throat.

he looked up at Apollo's son only with his eyes, but not his head:

— and then why are you trying to interrogate an abnormal psycho? will there be any sense from the scum that just wants bloodshed? will you hear from me what you want to hear? or do you just want to humiliate me even more? what is the point of all this, if in reality you don't care about the truth, and you only believe in your own lies? — he was breathing fast, he was shaking.

the Greek's reaction didn't bother him: now he would just be dubbed a psycho again, and then... maybe torture, maybe execution, maybe all together. but Octavian didn't care anymore, he went alone against the whole world and lost, now he just had to wait for his end.

his supervisor let out a ragged breath, as if Octavian had punched him in the face.

— all right, — he said with difficulty, — I'll listen to you.

— don't do me any favors! The Roman immediately jumped up.

— this... this is not a favor, — Apollo's son softened; even his gaze has ceased to be heavy and sharp, — but all this time we have been living with the same picture of the world, and now you tell me that everything was the opposite. It's not so easy to get used to, considering that we're kind of enemies, and I shouldn't believe you.

— oh, yeah, we're just here for a tea party, — Richardson spat out, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

the guy took a deep drag.

— my name is Will, — he ignored his taunt, finally deciding to introduce himself, — Will Solace.

— also say agent zero-zero-seven, — the augur could not resist, but at the same moment he was grabbed by the hair, roughly forcing him to lift his head.

— so, Octavian, — Will began in a steely voice, — I decided to believe you, but believe me, my trust, just like patience, are very fragile things, so I advise you not to fuck them, do you understand everything?

— of course, — Octavian snapped; his hands began to go mercilessly numb.

— are you looking for it? Solace hissed at him.

the Roman apathetically looked away:

— no way.

— wonderful! — Will, in his hypertrophied expression, resembled the heroes of Guy Ritchie's films, except, firstly, Guy Ritchie shot brutal action films, and secondly, they were not the heroes of the film at all now - and both of these facts did not please Octavian at all. — now start.

[t4t4t]

Hi !

I got bottom surgery on July 25th :3

I'm recovering well but I'll be on bedrest for a while. Collie and I will need rent help for September/food/gas/utilities/etc. Two disabled trans women. Anything helps ! Thank yall so much for all you've helped so far, it's saved my life ❤️

https://venmo.com/u/nora-esther-rose

https://www.paypal.me/NoraEstherRose

https://venmo.com/u/Leah-Esther-Rose

https://www.paypal.me/androgynophore

[prolibytherium]

Imagining Dennis getting pestered into driving Mac to a motel to meet "Johnny" and cracking myself up

[anzuhan]

[ropes3amthoughts]

Kabru Joins Laios’ Party

Description: What if Kabru was able to join Laios’ party. That’s it that’s the whole fic. I just like putting Kabru in situations.

Relationships: Laios & Kabru, Laios & His Party, Kabru and Laios’ Party, Kabru & Rin

Words: 9,637

Chapters: 1/? (Probably never gonna be finished)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Swearing? Trauma? Drinking? I don’t really think there’s anything like big that needs a warning but if you guys think I should add one I can

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergent, Takes place Pre-Canon, Dungeoning? Idfk, Kabru being a little freak /affectionate, Eating monsters (sort of), Kabru suffers more than Jesus, Friendship, Kabru being a fake ass bitch, Kabru and Laios are like the main guys but the other party members are there too, By other party members I mean the ones from pre-canon, Very brief appearance from Rin, Author does not know anything about alcohol or cooking or much of anything in general really, Wait now that I think about it should drinking be a tag because there is a scene with drinking even tho it’s like small drinks and nobody gets drunk, man idrk what to say about this like read it if you want to and if you don’t then don’t, I have never posted fanfic before, No Beta

A/N: I don’t have AO3 so that’s why I just formatted this like AO3 but on here. I am not much of an author lol so please do not have high standards for this at all. I planned for this to be like five chapters but it was really hard to write just this one so I don’t know if I’ll write the others. This is written kind of awkward but hey it’s just for fun and posting something is better than nothing or whatever the saying is. Anyways, fic under cut.

Kabru’s sole purpose in life was to prevent anything like the Utaya tragedy from happening again. He was lucky enough to have been spared, he would never make the mistake of taking that for granted. He would always feel indebted to whatever force decided that Kabru, the outcast kid with monster eyes, who only caused others trouble, was worth saving when everyone else had been slaughtered mercilessly.

The only way to be worthy of this life was to spend it saving others, doing something now when he did nothing then. After all, what would be the point of his survival if he did not use his dedicate himself, his knowledge, his life to preventing an incident like Utaya from ever happening again? That incident that took his world, shredded it into little pieces, and left him behind, let him live when he didn’t deserve life. It’s not something he’d wish on anyone else, it’s something he could not let happen to anyone else.

He’s on the right track now though. He had situated himself on an island off the shores of Kahka Brud. It was a cursed island with a growing dungeon and a Mad Mage responsible for it all. Kabru was going to be the island’s savior, defeat the Mad Mage, lift the curse, seal away the dungeon and its monsters, and prevent a tragedy from unfolding again. He was going to protect people. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he failed.

He also couldn’t just let anyone else do this, since whoever defeats the Mad Mage would become king, and a selfish, uncaring, immoral ruler, or the elves taking power, would not work in the interest of the people. Those types of people didn’t know what they were doing. They didn’t understand the short lived races, they wouldn’t make the right decisions, they had no good intentions. Only a certain type of person would be fit to rule. That person was certainly not Kabru, but with the way things were going, he might have to step up or else the wrong person would.

Kabru wasn’t stupid, he knew he needed a strong, well rounded party to even be able to descend into the dungeon to find the Mage. There were plenty of strong parties, but finding a party to join, however, was difficult. Not only were these groups tight knit and hard to get into, there was the larger issue at hand, that these parties were greedy, corrupt, and morally bankrupt. Kabru had no intention of working with a filthy party, he was only willing to work with someone who was committed to killing monsters and dispelling the curse over the dungeon.

Kabru follows many leads, but every single of the parties he observes is unforgivably corrupt in one way or another. With the constant failures over the past year, he’s been considering giving up on finding a party and instead making one of his own. He hasn’t given up yet, however, since he’s been hearing interesting rumors as of late; rumors about a selfless party, the Touden party.

The Touden party consists of six members: Laios and Falin Touden, the leaders of the party, Shuro, an Eastern man, Namari, a dwarf warrior, Marcille, an elf mage, and a halfling, Chilchuck. Kabru has heard many rumors of them and personally observed them himself. From what he’s heard and seen, he, frustratingly, can’t come to a conclusion about the party.

It’s difficult to figure out because he sees good things, like the the Touden party compensate past party members, but then he also sees those past party members use the money to fuel the black market. He hears that the Touden party has done great things in return for nothing, but he also hears that they’ve made things worse for others. He can’t get a definitive answer, at least, not from being a mere observer. He needs to talk to them directly.

It is the Touden party, but, from what he’s heard, Laios Touden is the main leader. He’s the one calling the shots. If he conquered the dungeon, he would be king. Is he someone Kabru could trust with that responsibility? Is he someone Kabru would want to assist or someone Kabru needs to take care of?

Kabru really has no idea. He just needs a window to talk to him. The Touden party is often seen around town and frequenting bars before and after heading into the dungeon. Before they go on their next dungeon expedition, that’s when he’ll talk to him. That’s when he’ll get his answer.

That’s what Kabru had foolishly thought, anyways. To his shock, Laios had payed him no mind, no matter what he did. Kabru could ask to talk to him directly, he could sit next to him, he could steal Laios’ gold and pretend other man had dropped it, he could pretend to accidentally bump onto him, he could ask for directions, he could bat his eyelashes and flirt with him, he could say he recognized him from somewhere, he could offer to buy him something, he could say he needed help, and none of it would work.

Every time, Laios would simply brush him off, ignore him entirely, or tell him he’s busy. Nothing got a reaction out of Laios, he was simply uninterested in Kabru, no matter what he said or what persona he put on. At first, Kabru wondered if Laios was egotistical and he thought he was too good to be talking to people like Kabru, but he saw Laios talk to a handful of other people who Kabru himself didn’t even know. Maybe Laios really just didn’t want to talk to Kabru and only Kabru. If that’s the case, why?

When he tells Rin about his poor luck with the Touden party, she goes on an angry rant about how Laios should respect him more. She tells him that he’s a great person and Laios should consider himself lucky to even talk to him. Kabru is amused by her outburst, but he thanks her nonetheless. She promises they could make a party of their own if things don’t work out. He says he’ll try a bit longer, but if not, he’ll take her up on it.

He has been trying for a while now. It’s been months since he started investigating the rumors, a little over a month since his initial attempt at conversing with Laios, and a week and a half since his conversation with Rin. He’s had no luck getting Laios’ attention and it has been far too long. Kabru can’t give up though. Laios is a promising lead, the only one he’s had actually.

He’s sitting in the bar again today, eyeing Laios and thinking of how he could approach him. Laios is with his party right now, so Kabru would have to wait until they’re separated. He thinks he’s in luck when Falin starts to get up, but none of the others move.

He sighs, but then the realization starts to set in. Falin, Falin Touden, has gotten up and is sitting at the bar counter by herself. Falin Touden from the Touden party is all by herself and could easily be talked to.

Kabru is struck with an idea. Laios may be the leader, but Falin is also a Touden, so there’s a chance she holds power over the party too. And here she is, all by herself, with empty seats beside her. If he couldn’t get anything out of Laios, maybe he could get it from Falin.

Kabru takes a seat next to her as casually as he possibly can and orders something. While the bartender is working, he looks over to her naturally, as if he were simply looking around at his surroundings. She picks up her glass, sips at her drink, makes a little mmm sound, and turns as if she is going to stand up and leave.

“What did you get?” He asks her, thinking maybe small talk would work on her when it failed with her brother. Falin jumps when he speaks to her, and then turns to look at him.

“Oh. Uhm. I got the uh…bourbon.” She says quietly and awkwardly, but she speaks to him! She listened to him and responded to what he said! This is way more progress than he made with Laios, but he doesn’t know if she’ll continue to talk to him. Kabru tries not to get his hopes up too high, but he at least hopes talking to her will make her stay at the counter with him for a minute or so and he can get even a little info.

“Is that one good?” He asks nonchalantly.

“Y-yeah. I uh like it.” She stutters, fiddling with her glass and looking away from Kabru. The bartender hands him his drink and a silence starts to fill the air. Kabru takes a sip of his own drink and thinks how he can keep this conversation going.

“Oh! I had a feeling I knew you from somewhere! You’re Falin, from the Touden party!” Kabru exclaims as if he had suddenly come to the realization and not intentionally approached her for this reason. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Kabru.”

“Nice to meet you too.” She says meekly.

“I’ve heard a lot about you and your party. Good things of course. How’s adventuring going?” He looks to her

“It’s good.” She says, taking a sip from her drink.

“That’s nice.” He smiles, then takes a sip from his drink. “Hey, your party wouldn’t happen to need any help, does it?” He asks as if he had randomly thought of it while drinking. It did come up in his mind while he was drinking, but truthfully he had considered joining the party to gather information for some time. While he was unsure of whether or not he wanted to join the party for good, it could be a good way to figure things out.

“Uhhhh no? I don’t think so?” She answers.

“Well, if you do, I could always lend a hand. I’m proficient with a variety of weapons and I have experience with dungeons.” He says trying to sound casual. He doesn’t want to give her the impression that he’s full of himself.

“That sounds useful, but I’d have to ask the others.” She tells him. She takes a big sip of her drink to finish the last of it, sets the glass down gently, and stands up.

“Alright then. Good luck with adventuring.” He tells her. He gives her a smile and she awkwardly waves goodbye to him before returning to her table. He does his best to watch the party indiscreetly as he finishes his own drink.

When Falin sits down, everybody’s eyes are on her.

“Oh, there you are, Falin!” Laios greets her, breaking the awkward silence. “You were taking a while.”

“I didn’t mean to.” She says apologetically.

“Who was that guy?” Marcille interrogates her, leaning in close.

“I don’t really know.” Falin answers truthfully.

“Really? Why was he talking to you so much then? What were you guys talking about?” Marcille continues to press, she’s always been rather nosy.

“Have you never seen someone get hit on in a bar before? It’s pretty obvious that’s what was happening.” Chilchuck speaks up.

“No way! Falin wouldn’t have stuck around if he was flirting with her!” Marcille starts bickering with Chilchuck.

“Was that guy really flirting with you?” Shuro asks.

Laios hasn’t said anything about the guy, but he’s looking at her curiously. She looks around at the party. Marcille has shushed Chilchuck and is looking at Falin expectantly. Chilchuck just grumbles and returns to his drink. Namari isn’t interested in the drama either, so she’s also focused on her drink. Shuro has an odd expression on himself. It’s like everyone, minus Namari and Chilchuck, wants to know.

“I don’t think so.” She answers.

“What was he saying to you?” The elf asks.

“What did you say?” Shuro asks before Falin is able to respond to Marcille.

“Uh, well, he wanted to join the party? I told him I’d ask you guys.” Everybody all looks over to the guy who wants to join the party after she says it, sizing him up.

“He doesn’t look very strong.” Namari remarks.

“I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere before.” Chilchuck says, making a contemplative face as if he was trying really hard to remember where he’s seen him.

“I think I do too.” Shuro states.

“Really? I don’t recognize him at all.” Laios says.

“Why does he even want to join?” Marcille asks bitterly.

“Uh, he said something like he heard of us?” The short haired mage replies.

“That’s a stupid reason. Tell him no.” The blonde huffs.

“I can’t do that. He seemed like he really wanted to join, I’d feel bad if I said no.” Falin admits.

“Ugh. I’ll tell him then.” Marcille stands up and walks over to him.

“Wait!” Falin follows after her.

The others have started to get up too now because they’re curious and/or their drinks are finished.

Kabru, meanwhile, is frantically planning out what to say to everyone. He’s never gotten this far so he has to make sure he says all the right things. He composes himself and pretends as if he doesn’t notice the party walking up to him.

“Hey! You!” The elf, Marcille, confronts him. He turns around on the stool to look at her. “Whatever your name is!”

“My name is Kabru.” He introduces himself with a polite smile. He hopes maybe that will help him because Marcille sounds pissed. He hopes he didn’t leave a bad impression on Falin that consequently warped the party’s perception of him.

“Ok, Kabru.” She says a little flustered, much to Kabru’s relief. “Well, we were all talking and no, you can’t join our party, so leave Falin alone.”

“Uh, she doesn’t mean that?” Falin says squeakily.

“I do mean that.”

“Marcilleeeee, he seems nice.”

“Kabru.” The halfling takes the chance to talk to him while the two girls are distracted with talking to each other. “Why do you want to join our party?”

“Your party is renowned for its strength. I admire you all, I want to help you.” He says it sincerely, although he doesn’t quite mean those words. “I already have my own gear. I know some basic spells too, so you wouldn’t have to worry about using mana on me. Additionally, I’ve been to the dungeon before, I know how to handle myself. I think I could be a valuable member of your party, if you’d be willing to have me.” He says, hoping he sounds convincing.

“Well, it’s Laios’ decision.” Chilchuck shrugs.

“Wait, we should talk about this first!” Marcille squeaks. The party gathers in a vaguely circle shape, not at all far away from him, and whispers about him. He hears only bits of it, like “…wouldn’t be efficient,” “I don’t care,” “…bigger party is better, right?”, “Do you see him? He…”, “…maybe he…”

After about a minute, the party separates from the circle.

“We’re going to delve into the dungeon. We’re going to fight a dragon on the seventh level. Is that something you can handle?” It’s Laios who talks to him this time. Laios is finally talking to him. Kabru needs to make the best possible impression he can.

Kabru stands up from the stool. He makes unwavering eye contact with Laios and says “It is,” in the most intense voice he can manage. Kabru has never made it further than the third level and he’s never even seen a dragon before, but he says those two words with the conviction of someone who has killed dozens of dragons before.

“Well, I guess he can join.” Laios says with a shrug. Kabru feels like a weight has lifted from his shoulders. He feels so light. He feels dazed. It’s finally happened. He’s in. Everything else goes by in a blur, he hardly even remembers filling out the paperwork.

“We’re going back to the dungeon tomorrow at eight.” Laios tells him.

“I’ll be there.” Kabru says.

Laios nods and then just heads out of the bar. The other party members give him a look, some say bye, and then the rest of them head out too. The door shuts and Kabru is left alone in the bar.

Now that he is alone, Kabru is overwhelmed with all the things he needs to do to prepare. Tomorrow? He did say he had gear and was prepared, and he was, but that was rather soon. Well, if they were planning to go tomorrow, then he really wasn’t to throw off their schedule. He should be glad they let him join on such short notice. He rushes off to gather his things, get more supplies, and tell Rin where he’s going.

Kabru wakes up at five in the morning. He packs his things as if the party is leaving in three minutes rather than three hours. By the time he’s packed and gotten himself ready, it’s only five seventeen.

He decides to head over to the market. He wants a book about the dungeon so he’ll know what to expect. He has a few, but he needs more knowledge, knowledge about what to expect deep in the dungeon. It would be terrible if he was jarred by everything the party encounters on the lower floors, he needs to be as prepared as he can for someone who’s only been to the second level.

He finds a book for a fair enough price. By the time he’s bought the book and headed over to the meeting spot, it’s only five twenty six. He’s the only one there at this time, so he decides to read the book in the meantime.

If he’s going to help them kill a dragon, he really needs to know more about dragons and their weaknesses. He flips to the chapter about dragons and skims the contents, trying to commit only the key words to memory. Dangerous breath, huge, some have impenetrable scales, jaws that could bite clean through bone, weak spot under the neck.

“Good morning.” A voice says, causing Kabru to tense up, startled. He looks up from the book and realizes it’s Shuro. He puts the book away and stands up straight.

“Good morning to you too.” He greets back.

Shuro must not have planned to say anything else after that because there is only silence. It’s just the two of them there, maybe he could take this opportunity to get to know him better.

What Kabru learned from yesterday is that he has to work his way up to talk to Laios. Laios only talked to him after Kabru had spoken with Falin, then Marcille, then Chilchuck. Kabru needed to secure his position in the party to get Laios’ attention, and the way to do that was through the other party members.

Shuro was probably the second easiest to talk to, since he had not been against Kabru joining the party and was willing to talk to him. Falin was probably the easiest to talk to since she had been the one willing to talk to him and vouch for him last night, but he had a feeling if he got too familiar with Falin it would ruin his chances of getting close to Marcille.

Marcille was probably the second most difficult to talk to, second to Laios. Marcille seemed to be angry with him, which would make getting close to her difficult. He thinks the reason she’s angry with him is probably because she feels protective of Falin since the two are such close friends.

Namari would probably be fairly easy to talk to, since she didn’t seem to dislike him, but then again, she didn’t approach him. He thinks Chilchuck would be the third most difficult to talk to. Chilchuck seemed to be suspicious of him, but he was willing to have a civil conversation with him. He seemed to be the “smart one” of the group, so he might be hard to get close to.

That being said, Kabru has a perfect opportunity right now to be friendly with Shuro, and if it goes well, which it probably will, it will make the others feel more comfortable with him. Then he’ll slowly be able to bond with the party members until he gets to the top, where he’ll finally be able to figure out who Laios is, what makes him tick, and if he’s someone worthy of defeating the dungeon.

“I don’t think we properly met yesterday. My name is Kabru.” Kabru introduces himself again, just to be polite. He offers out a hand.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Toshiro.” Shuro? Toshiro? says, shaking his hand.

“Sorry, you said your name is Toshiro?” Kabru asks to clarify.

“Yes. Why do you ask?” Toshiro questions his question.

“I swore the others called you by a different name is all.” The shorter man says.

“Ah, they call me Shuro. Laios told them that was my name and I never had a chance to correct them.” Toshiro explains awkwardly.

Kabru feels like he’s won at cards. Toshiro has opened up to him, he knows his name when nobody else does, and he learned something about Laios as well. He wonders if Laios is uncaring for his party members if he didn’t bother to learn Toshiro’s name.

“That’s terrible.” Kabru says sympathetically. Suddenly, he gets an idea. “Do you want me to tell the others?”

“You don’t have to. It’s really not so bad.” Toshiro reassures him.

“Doesn’t it bother you, though?” Kabru asks, curiously.

“Somewhat.” He mumbles.

“If it would make you feel better, I could definitely tell them.” He offers again.

“It wouldn’t be a bother to you?”

“Not at all!”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” Toshiro says gratefully.

Kabru smiles. People are a lot like safes. You want to get close to people like you’d want to get into a safe. You can’t just open up a safe, however, you need a key, a password, the right little gadget or combination to open it up. With people, you need words.

If you say the right things, people will open up to you and that’s when you can get close to them, find out what they’re thinking, figure out their motivations, understand them more than they could even understand themselves. When you say the right thing, it’s a feeling like a safe clicking open, you know you can get in.

Toshiro thanking him is like that click. Toshiro isn’t going to be totally loyal and open to him now, but he has a basic level of trust for Kabru. He has a positive impression of Kabru and is more likely to be on his side. He can use this, he thinks giddily.

About an hour later, at seven fourteen o’clock, Chilchuck shows up.

“Good morning.” Toshiro greets Chilchuck.

“Good morning, Chilchuck.” Kabru also greets Chilchuck, wanting to be polite.

“Hi.” Chilchuck responds simply.

Chilchuck is much more closed off, harder to talk to. Kabru thinks of a way to tell Chilchuck about Toshiro’s name, but not too awkwardly and bluntly, and also give a positive impression. He thinks for a few minutes, but then he’s got it.

“Do you know if the others are coming anytime soon? Toshiro and I have been waiting for a while now.”

“Half the party is always late.” Chilchuck huffs. “You guys will probably-wait, what did you say?”

“I just said that Toshiro and I have been waiting for a while now.” Kabru repeats innocently, putting a subtle emphasis on Toshiro’s name.

“You mean Shuro?” Chilchuck questions, looking between Kabru and Toshiro.

“Kabru is right. Shuro isn’t my name, it’s Toshiro.” The long haired man admits.

“Huh? Then why did you-Laios.” Chilchuck says Laios’ name with disdain.

Kabru is going to ask what about Laios, but then Marcille shows up.

“Hi!” She says cheerfully.

“Marcille, did you know Shuro’s name is actually Toshiro?” Chilchuck asks her, still appalled. Kabru feels relieved that the other party members are spreading the word so that he doesn’t have to.

“What?! Is it really?!” The elf questions Toshiro, who nods in response. The three of them start animatedly chatting at this revelation. Kabru simply listens.

“I can’t believe we’ve been saying it wrong this whole time.” Marcille remarks. “I can’t believe that Laios told us your name wrong…actually I can believe it.”

“Is Laios…not a good leader?” Kabru asks, trying to think of the most nuanced way to phrase it.

“He’s alright, he just doesn’t really notice little details.” Marcille answers.

“He doesn’t notice big things either. That guy is dense.” Chilchuck adds.

“He has good intentions, he just doesn’t… execute them well.” Toshiro tells him.

“He’s awful with people, but when we’re in the dungeon, he’s competent enough. He’s an ok leader.” The halfling concludes. The others seem to agree with this.

At eight o’clock, there is no sign of either of the Toudens or Namari. The others reassure him this is normal, albeit annoying.

At around eight forty, Namari shows up. This is, apparently, earlier than she usually shows up. Namari talks with them too after she learns of Toshiro’s actual name.

At nine thirteen o’clock, more than an hour after the original meeting time, the Touden siblings finally arrive.

“Wow, everyone’s talking today!” Laios exclaims.

“It’s because Shuro’s real name is actually Toshiro.” Namari tells him.

“It is?” Falin asks, opening her eyes in shock.

“Laios told everybody the wrong name.” Marcille says, giving Laios a flat look.

“He did.” Toshiro confirms.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Laios asks, he sounds a little hurt.

“You always talked over me.” Toshiro says. The whole party is looking in an accusatory way at Laios now.

Something about this situation, Laios being doubted by his whole group, makes Kabru ecstatic. The whole party has probably lost some respect for Laios over this. He has an idea now, if he can put pressure on the party’s relationship with Laios, not enough to break the party apart, but enough to strain it, he can knock Laios down a few pegs.

When Laios is down, he’ll be more willing to talk to Kabru, he’ll be desperate. Kabru can promise to restore his image, which will gain Laios’ favor and trust. Then, Kabru will finally be able to get to know him. All he needs to do is get close enough to everyone to be able to encourage them to speak out against Laios, then his plan will fall into motion. It’s perfect.

“I’m sorry I got your name wrong.” Laios apologizes sheepishly.

“I forgive you.” Toshiro says.

“You should be sorry for being late too.” Chilchuck scolds. “Do you know how long we had to wait for you?”

“I’m sorry I made everyone wait.” Laios apologizes again. “Let’s go to the dungeon now.”

The party seems to accept this, but there’s still a bit of tension in the air. Kabru feels immensely giddy. This is all going as he planned.

When they’re in the dungeon, Kabru makes sure to volunteer himself as much as possible, thought not to an obnoxious extent. He offers to kill small monsters in the way and the group lets him. He’s definitely making his way up the ranks.

After hours of traversing the dungeon, Laios calls for a lunch break. They’ve made good progress, they’re a good way through the second floor and it’s only the first day. Getting through the dungeon is a lot faster when Kabru has a skilled and coordinated party who can easily defeat monsters and navigate their way through the dungeon.

The party sits down in a circle in a little tucked away area, somewhere the monsters probably won’t find them. Marcille makes a magic circle to warm up the meal. The party chats a little bit and Kabru watches their dynamics closely.

Marcille sits at the middle part of the circle so she is able to tend to the magic circle. Right next to her is Falin, who’s helping out. Laios sits next to his sister and is unloading some things from his pack. Toshiro is sat next to Laios, he has an expression on his face like he’d rather be sitting somewhere else. Kabru himself is in between Toshiro and Namari. Namari is next to Chilchuck, who is next to Marcille’s other side.

After a few moments, the meals are heated up and distributed. It’s nothing fancy, just some rice and meat in a bowl. Kabru eats it without a word, the others have also fallen into silence as they eat.

Everyone finishes with their meal fairly quickly. After a mere half an hour, they had prepped a meal, eaten, and then packed their things back up and were ready to travel again. The party was making lots of progress and with very little trouble. Kabru thinks that maybe the party could actually push through the whole dungeon and defeat the Mad Mage.

They travel a few hours longer, until the dungeon started getting dark. It’s strange, how the second floor appears to have a sky, and with it, day and night cycles, even though it’s deep underground. They’re a bit more than half way through the second floor, they could probably make good distance on the third floor by tomorrow. It wouldn’t take long for them to reach the lower floors at all.

Kabru doesn’t feel tired at all, he never feels tired at night. He has a feeling of restless even more so than usual, however. He needs to keep up appearances, he needs to get close to the party members, he needs to impress them, he needs to be informed, he needs to do so much.

The party sets up their bedrolls and heads to sleep, reassuring Kabru nobody needed to keep watch and such an early level. While the others settle down and fall asleep, Kabru lies still in his bedroll, wide awake, for maybe twenty minutes. He listens to the breathing of the others’ slow until he is sure everyone is asleep.

When he’s absolutely sure, he slips out of his bedroll as quietly as he can, grabs his book, and walks off a small distance away from the party. He knows a simple light spell, which he casts, summoning a small glowing orb. He only needs a small light, large enough to read but not large enough to disturb the others or attract monsters.

Speaking of monsters, he’s going to face a lot of them, and as they head to lower floors, he’s going to be more and more unfamiliar with them. Monsters are only a problem if you don’t know what you’re dealing with or you freeze up. If Kabru can just figure out their weak points, he can deal with them easily, like solving a puzzle.

He flips the book to the third floor pages. He’s read about the third floor a few times before, but it wouldn’t hurt to refresh his memory. This floor is maze-like, consisting of winding stairs, and it has lots of tricky monsters and undead. Nothing seems to be too much of a problem, plus the other party members are probably equipped to taking out monsters like these.

Kabru has a much less intimate knowledge of the fourth floor, but he knows the basics. It’s a floor mainly consisting of water, with water walk spells being the only efficient way to traverse it. Kabru knows how to cast water walking, so he can handle himself just fine. The monsters there are all aquatic and can maneuver around in the water quickly, which can be rather difficult to fight.

The smaller ones shouldn’t be so difficult. The fish monsters can just be cut apart and with mermaids he can always just cover his ears and avoid them. The bigger ones might pose an issue, but then again they all have vital organs that can be stabbed, similar to the way an animal would. No matter the size, they can be killed. He would kill them.

He flips to some of the illustrations of the monsters and thinks to himself how he could kill some of them. Cutting off the heads would probably work for most of them, most living things need them, but it wouldn’t prove effective for ones with, for example, two heads or ones that were large enough that it would be difficult to get a clean cut.

Demi-humans would probably be easy. The anatomy and organs should be relatively the same to humans, although they were monsters, so he couldn’t know for sure. Even if the vitals weren’t exactly the same he could probably-

“Is that a monster book?” Someone suddenly says right next to his ear, making him jump to the point he drops the book on the ground and lose control of his light, causing it to fizzle out. He inhales sharply, reaches a hand for the dagger on his side, and spins around to look at whoever is speaking to him. They probably could’ve killed him anyways if they were that close, but he couldn’t know for sure.

He squints his eyes to adjust to the dark. When he realizes who he’s looking at, Kabru is stunned. It’s Laios, he thinks. Then, he thinks shit shit shit.

Kabru thought he may have gotten caught. He had thought of some excuses for if he was caught but the book went unnoticed, like he was keeping watch, he was going out on a walk, or he had to go to the bathroom. If the book was noticed he’d say something like he wanted to refresh his memory or you could never be too prepared.

The thing was, he planned the delivery of these excuses for someone else. He’d have thought maybe Toshiro or Falin would have looked for him if he was missing since he’s talked to them, or maybe even Chilchuck since the halfling had been suspicious of him, but Laios was not someone he prepared for. Laios was the last person he expected to go looking for him.

After all, this was Laios, who had ignored him for months on end. Laios whom he had never properly talked to. Laios, whose party Kabru had just joined the day before, and given the party’s discussion in the morning, he didn’t seem like someone who would notice if one of the members went missing, especially not Kabru. He hadn’t expected to be able to talk to Laios for at least another week.

“Oh no! Your book!” Laios says, picking up the fallen book with the same tenderness most people would use to hold a small wounded animal or perhaps a newborn baby. He gently brushes the dirt off its pages and, rather than handing the book back to Kabru, starts squinting to see the illustrations in the dark.

Kabru starts to panic. What if the reason Laios is out here because Laios is onto him? What if he knows Kabru really isn’t all that experienced with dungeons and he’s trying to act more skilled than he is? What if he knows Kabru just joined the party to try and get an opportunity to talk to him and isn’t quite sold on his leadership or really anything about him?

What would he do if Kabru didn’t think he was worthy of being king? Most adventurers were cocky and thought it was some inherent right of theirs to conquer the dungeon. Would Laios be upset? Would he try to kill him? Kabru keeps his hand near his dagger, just in case.

It’s been only a few seconds, but Kabru can’t just sit here quietly. He needs to say something, do something. He has to seize this opportunity to talk to Laios.

A question of why Laios is here has started to form in his mind, but he’s interrupted by Laios asking him “Why do you have this?”

“Just in case, you know?” Kabru responds almost immediately, giving a casual smile as if to make the excuse seem more natural, despite the fact it can’t be seen very well in the dark. He wasn’t sure if the excuse would work with Laios, he wasn’t sure of anything about Laios at all. “Why are you out here?” He decides to ask, hoping maybe he can better understand Laios.

“I woke up and I realized someone was missing. I was a little worried, but then I saw you over here with a monster book and I was curious.” Laios says nonchalantly, not looking up from Kabru’s book.

What is there to be curious about? Does he know Kabru doesn’t really know how to handle

the dungeon? Does he know Kabru wanted to test him, peel back his mask and see what kind of person Laios really was? When Kabru was trying to figure out Laios, was Laios really onto him first? Was he in control of everything all along?

“Can I have that back?” He asks, hoping to take it away before Laios can come to any conclusions as to why he has it.

“Yeah.” The blonde replies, looking at the pages a bit longer before handing the book back over to Kabru. Kabru feels like sighing in relief, but he doesn’t dare make any sort of indication as to what he’s thinking or feeling. He’s rooted in place still, wondering if he should start heading back or not.

Laios doesn’t quite seem to know what to do next either. He’s still just standing there, maybe contemplating what to say. It’s silent for a few moments, the two of them just standing there, facing each other in the dark.

“How do you feel about monsters?” Laios finally speaks up.

Kabru hates monsters. Monsters are violent disgusting beasts that kill people without rhyme or reason. If he could, he wouldn’t be anywhere near them, but he has to in order to kill them; kill them before they can kill others like they did at Utaya.

He doesn’t say that aloud though because something about Laios’ question makes him think. It’s phrased casually, but there’s an undertone to it that makes it seem like Laios is looking for a specific answer. He thinks if he answers it correctly, he could get closer to Laios, weeks early than planned.

Most people hate monsters, it’s only natural. Monsters kill humans of all races, what reason is there to like them? Logically, the answer should be something like “I hate them” or maybe even a more passionate and detailed answer regarding his distaste for them, but then again, is Laios Touden most people?

“Sorry, can you say that again?” Kabru asks. He heard him perfectly well the first time, but maybe if he pays close attention the second time, he can figure out what Laios is thinking.

“Uh, I think I said what do you think about monsters?” Laios answers, sounding unsure of himself. That was in fact, not what he asked the first time. “It’s just…you were reading a monster book where nobody else could see,” He continues. “I’m just curious why you’d do something like that.”

Kabru’s heart skips a beat. Oh shit, is he on to him? Does he know Kabru is not some experienced adventurer, but rather a novice has barely scraped his way to the third floor with a party of his own? Does he know that Kabru has spent a ridiculous amount of money on revival fees because he’s died to monsters so many times before? Does he know that Kabru really doesn’t know what he’s doing in this dungeon?

Kabru is usually good at thinking of quick excuses on the spot, but he’s completely out of his depth right now. He doesn’t know what Laios is thinking. He doesn’t know the right words to say to Laios. He really doesn’t know anything about him at all. The whole point of trying to get his attention and join his party was to figure that out! And now everything might be ruined, just when they had started!

“I didn’t want to wake anybody up with the light.” Kabru manages eventually, after a suspiciously long and awkward pause.

“But why a monster book?” Laios asks. He wonders if he could sneak away or hit Laios over the head and then, in the morning, convince him it was a dream. Shit, he’s so screwed. “Sorry if it’s personal, I won’t tell anybody.”

“I was reading about monsters because…it’s-they’re…interesting.” Kabru tries. He has a feeling that answer won’t be enough for Laios. Laios, instead of pressing more, is dead silent for a few moments. Kabru wonders if that was the wrong answer.

“You like reading about monsters too?” Laios asks. Like is absolutely not the word he’d use to describe it, but it’s the word Laios would use, so Kabru has to agree with it. If he pretends to have something in common with him, Laios should open up to him.

“I do.” Kabru lies.

“Oh.” Laios says. Kabru is unable to tell what that’s supposed to mean, which causes him to panic internally. He thought he answered what Laios wanted. Did he say the wrong thing? “You-do you like monsters?”

A normal human would ask a question like that in a shocked and derogatory tone because it’s strange and appalling to like something like a monster. Laios asks it in a way that sounds shocked, but it doesn’t sound like he means anything bad by asking it. He seems genuinely curious and Kabru isn’t sure what to make of that.

“Why do you ask?” Kabru decides to deflect.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Laios asks, possibly deflecting his deflect.

“Of course.” The more he learns about Laios, the better.

“I’ve never told anybody this before, but I really love monsters.” Love? Monsters? “I love the way they look, the way they sound, the way they live. I’m really curious about them, I think they’re really cool.” Laios admits.

At first, he’s relieved because Laios was not onto him and he really just wanted to tell him this. Then, Kabru thinks that’s the weirdest thing he’s ever heard anybody say. He wonders why Laios feels that way. Did a monster save him as a child? Actually, a better question would be: did he get hit over the head as a child. How could Laios see anything worth loving in monsters?

Kabru has so many other questions. He feels like he understands Laios even less than he did before. There’s only one way to figure it all out.

“I never thought I’d meet someone who feels the same way.” The lie feel clunky on his tongue. The implication that he loves monsters leaves a sour taste in his mouth, it feels wrong to even imply such a thing, even if it’s not true.

Laios looks at Kabru as if he is every star in the sky, a strip of the universe folded neatly into the shape of a human. Kabru feels immensely relieved. It seems as if that had been the best possible thing he could have said.

“I have a monster book too.” The blonde says quickly. He fishes the book out of the neck piece of his armor. “Can you make a light again?”

That’s probably a good idea, squinting at Laios in the dark is exhausting. Kabru murmurs a few words under his breath, causing a small light to spark to life once again.

Kabru is surprised to see Laios’ book looks like a children’s picture book. It also looks like a cookbook? He wonders what to say first about it.

“I can show you some pages.” Laios says, getting close to Kabru’s side so that their shoulders are touching, and opening the book up in between them.

The pages are covered in small notes. Curiously, the notes seem to be strategically placed to ensure they didn’t overlap with the original text or images. The pages have recipes and flavors on them, making Kabru almost entirely sure it is a cookbook.

“Is that a cookbook?” He asks, amused.

“Yeah!”

Kabru wants to laugh at how absurd this all is. He’s finally talking to Laios and it’s going like this? Laios loves monsters and Kabru is pretending that’s how he feels too. And now Laios wants to eat monsters too? And his basis for monster cuisine is in a children’s book? It would be funny if Kabru wasn’t going to have to pretend that’s what he wants too.

“That’s really cool.” Kabru smiles as he lies. “I’d love to try some sometime.”

“You know,” Laios starts, a glint in his eyes, “we might be able to right now.” Laios animatedly flips through the pages and Kabru can feel his heart sink in his chest.

“This section is for the second floor.” The blonde tells him, slowly flipping through the pages so Kabru can see them. Kabru wearily eyes the contents. He’s got to say something to deter him.

“But how would we eat monsters if we can’t cook them?” Kabru tries. He thinks that’s one of the weirdest things he’s ever said, just about every single sentence he’s said in this conversation is one of the weirdest things he’s ever said.

“Hmm.” Laios goes, scrunching up his face in thought. Kabru thinks he’s safe, but then Laios lights up. “Man-Eating Plant salad.” He says, holding up the page. “You don’t have to cook salad.”

“That’s so nice and convenient that you found a monster that you don’t have to cook.” Kabru says optimistically, but really he feels the exact opposite. He wonders if it’s too late to hit Laios over the head and run.

“I know, right? I’m pretty sure there are some Man-Eating Plants just over here.” Laios says, standing up and tucking the monster cookbook back into his armor. He motions for Kabru to come with him and Kabru reluctantly follows. Kabru desperately hopes that Laios is wrong and there are no Man-Eating Plants.

Very disappointingly, Laios is correct. There are lots of Man-Eating Plants, actually. Kabru hopes he can sneak away when Laios isn’t looking.

“With all these, it might be difficult to pick off just one.” Laios remarks, turning back to look directly at him. So much for getting away.

“Should we go back then?” Kabru asks, sounding like he’s asking a genuine question, but really feeling immensely desperate.

Laios doesn’t say anything right away. He looks over at the plant monsters, which are softly illuminated by the light spell. His eyes are following a small monster that creeps near the Man-Eating Plants. Kabru watches too, trying to figure out what he thinks is so interesting.

The small monster reaches for a fruit and yanks it off. It begins to nibble on it. The Man-Eating Plant which the fruit had come from grabs it with its vines and traps it. The small monster cries out and squirms, but it is snared too tightly to escape.

“Oh!” Laios says, excited once again. “Those fruits seem like they come off really easily!” That’s what conclusion he got from that?

“How would we even get them?” Kabru asks, dread settling in his stomach.

“I could distract them while you grab a fruit. If you grab it as sneakily and as quickly as you can, there shouldn’t be any problems, but if they do get you, I could cut you down.” Laios says confidently. Kabru wants to try and point out a flaw, but it is very unfortunately a solid plan.

“Alright.” Kabru says, accepting his fate because clearly nothing can deter Laios from eating monsters. He slips off his armor to be quieter and neatly stacks it in a pile. The two of them quietly approach the Man-Eating Plans.

Kabru creeps closer while Laios stays back. Kabru steps low and quiet until he’s reached the monster fruits. He tries to pluck one off, but it is, unlike Laios had exclaimed earlier, very difficult to pull off. The Man-Eating Plant shifts above him. Kabru swears in his mind.

Suddenly, Laios starts making a bunch of weird whistling noises and waving his arms around. Kabru stares at him in disbelief and wonders what the absolute fuck that man is doing. Kabru then remembers he’s supposed to get the fruit and go. He pulls out a knife, slices it off, and then bolts away.

He thinks he’s made it, he’s almost back to where Laios is at a safe distance, when suddenly he’s pulled off the ground.

“Laios!” He calls out as he’s being pulled further and further from the ground.

“Hold on!” Laios shouts back, running past him. Kabru bitterly wonders if Laios is going to leave him to die. Maybe Laios was someone who was cold and selfish all along and, even though he was interesting, there was nothing worthy about him at all.

Then, the vines unfurl and Kabru starts to fall. Laios starts rushing back his direction again, awkwardly sheathing his sword as he goes. He holds out his arms as if to catch Kabru, but Kabru hits the ground about a half a minute before he even gets over there. It wasn’t too bad of a fall, nothing is broken, maybe not even bruised, but it still hurt.

As he sits up, he realizes he still has the monster fruit in his arms. He’d have thought it would’ve gotten crushed, but no, it’s practically in perfect condition. He really can’t escape this, can he?

“Are you hurt?” Laios asks him.

“No.” Kabru says.

“That’s good.” He looks at the damned monster fruit still in Kabru’s arms. “The fruit! You saved it! Nice job, uh...you.” Laios says awkwardly as if he was going to say Kabru’s name but had drawn up a blank.

“Did you forget my name?” Kabru asks him.

“…No?” Laios says, very obviously lying. Kabru doesn’t know why he expected Laios of all people to remember his name. Laios didn’t know Toshiro’s name despite knowing him for months, after all.

“I’m Kabru.” The dark haired man reintroduces himself.

“Kabru.” Laios repeats, trying to familiarize himself with his name. He’s silent for a moment, then says, “Hey, now that I think about it, we don’t have any bowls, so it would be kind of hard to make salad.”

Kabru is a little pissed they did all that for nothing, but he thinks he could pass out from relief at the fact they aren’t in fact going to eat monsters.

“We can still have the fruit though! Fruit is pretty tasty on its own!” Laios says cheerily. Kabru wonders why he even bothered getting his hopes up. He makes a mental note that Laios is awfully resilient and good at problem solving, for better or for worse, though in this case it’s for worse. “Can you give me that fruit? I’m gonna cut it in half.”

Kabru defeatedly hands him the fruit and goes to put his gear back on. Laios places the fruit on the ground and slices it with his sword. Laios did a terrible job of cutting it in half, it looks much more like seventy-thirty than fifty-fifty, but Kabru can’t complain when Laios gives him the smaller piece.

“You can try it first.” Kabru says because if anybody is dying tonight from food poisoning from eating monster fruit, it’s not going to be Kabru.

Laios takes a big bite out of the fruit. “This is really good!” Laios says with a mouth full of fruit. “It’s like sweet, but then sort of sour? It sort of tastes like a normal fruit, though. I expected it to taste different since it’s from a monster.” He sounds sad when he says those last two sentences.

Kabru watches him warily. He doesn’t seem to be dying or having any sort of side effect. Plus if it were like a normal fruit, it shouldn’t be so bad. Besides, the fruit is from a monster, not a monster itself, so it’s really not that weird to be eating it, right? Laios is looking at him expectantly.

Kabru waits a few seconds, just in case Laios suddenly falls over and dies. He does not. He seems completely normal and healthy, in fact. Kabru is unfortunately forced to take a small bite of the fruit (that isn’t a monster and is barely even related to monsters at all and is almost just like a normal fruit). It’s overwhelmingly sweet at first, but then it does have a sort of tangy aftertaste. It vaguely reminds him of pineapple.

“It’s nice.” He says, taking another small bite of the totally normal fruit. It’s pretty good, actually. Laios has almost eaten half of his fruit piece already.

“Do you think the flavor is different depending on what the Man-Eating Plants eat?” Laios wonders aloud. “Like if it was eating lots of giant rats, do you think it would gradually adjust the flavor to more effectively attract them? Maybe this is some monster’s favorite type of fruit and that’s why they taste like this.” Kabru feels like spitting out the fruit after being crudely reminded of its monster origins, but he manages to swallow it.

“You think the flavor is like this because it’s some monster’s favorite?” Kabru asks him, amused.

“Well, it had to have been liked by something the Man-Eating Plants eat.” Laios reasons. “Maybe it’s a combination of flavors that multiple monsters liked to attract more of them! That could be why it’s sweet and sour!” He’s talking quickly and his pupils are dilated, he seems to be really enjoying this conversation. Well, it could hardly be called a conversation when Laios is doing all the talking and Kabru is just nodding along. He rambles a bit more, cutting himself off occasionally to bite the fruit.

Laios finishes his fruit and looks up at the dark sky. “We should probably go back soon.”

“Good idea.” Kabru stands up, abandoning his barely eaten fruit. He really wants to rush off back to the camp, go to sleep, and pretend this wasn’t as weird as it was. He walks slowly next to Laios, though.

“That was fun.” Laios says. He’s looking at Kabru like he wants him to say something.

“Yeah, it was really nice.” Kabru half lies. He was glad he got to find out more about Laios, but he didn’t enjoy being attacked by a monster and then eating monster fruit.

Laios is still looking at him funny, like he wants him to say something else. Kabru is unsure what Laios wants from him.

“Uhm.” Laios says, stopping a little bit before the camp. Kabru stops as well, looking at him curiously. Laios is still giving him that weird look.

“What is it?” Kabru decides to ask instead.

“Well, that was fun right?” Laios repeats himself, awkwardly.

“Yes?” Kabru repeats his response, but in a more concise and confused manner.

“So…maybe we could do something like that again? Well, there’s probably not gonna be anything like Man-Eating Plants on lower levels, but maybe we could just look at monsters? Or talk about them?” Laios asks shyly. Kabru is struck again by how weird this all is.

“That sounds great. Let’s do that.” Kabru says with a smile. Laios looks like he’s going to say something, but he ends up just smiling and nodding.

He starts walking back to the camp again. Kabru follows. The shorter of the two dissipates the light again as they get closer.

“Goodnight, Laios.” He says as they reach the cave.

“Yeah.” Laios says in response as he heads over to his bedroll. Kabru wonders if Laios even heard what he said. He hears Laios snoring softly not even a minute after, so maybe he was just really tired.

Kabru settles into his own bedroll and stares up at the ceiling, thinking about what just happened.

Kabru hates monsters, he’s always hated monsters and always will, but he’s so intensely curious about Laios’ affection for them. He just has to know, he needs to know, why and how Laios sees them like that. Laios loves monsters, but he kills them. He loves monsters, but he wants to eat them. It’s a unique type of adoration that Kabru can’t connect with anything else. It’s fascinating.

Sleep catches up with Kabru eventually. His eyes are heavy with drowsiness and his head heavy with thoughts of Laios’ feelings about monsters. As he drifts off, he finds himself thinking not about why Laios likes monsters, but rather what had happened in an entirely non-analytical manner, he was just simply recalling the fresh memory.

He closes his eyes and sees himself sitting down in the grass, with only the small light illuminating himself and Laios, the taste of sweet and sour (not technically monster) fruit in his mouth, and the sound of Laios excitedly rambling on about…well, monsters. He couldn’t really avoid the subject of monsters when it came to Laios, but that’s good. Kabru is figuring out what he likes and what he’s thinking, he’s making so much progress with him.

Even if Laios is rambling about things like the taste of monsters, everything is going smoothly, in Kabru’s favor. He’s on the right track so things aren’t so bad. When he thinks about it like that, it’s almost pleasant.

Kabru is figuring things out, figuring Laios out, figuring out if he’s worthy of conquering the dungeon. Kabru will decode him and, when he does, then maybe everything will be alright. Maybe Laios will be a good person, conquer the dungeon, and become a good king, with Kabru supporting him every step of the way. Of course, Kabru will be prepared to face whatever reality he’s met with, but, just for a moment, it’s nice to dream.

[otrtbs]

y’all are so weird. if you hate the way i characterized regulus in ahb! then,,, stop reading it? no one is forcing you to read it?? you can just put it down,,, you know that right???? who has the gun to your head making you click next chapter??? you can just stop reading it at any time. no really, trust me!

[dkettchen]

not me finding out that fandom wikis do not have an api (which is like a specialised ui for programmers that a lot of websites have where you can more directly access resources off the website with programming tools, f.e. if one piece wiki had one, you could tell your coding languages like "hey get all the strawhat pirates' names and heights off their character pages and put them in my database here please" and it would be able to get that info off the wiki for you) so I will have to learn web scraping to get data off there for visualising ship stats project I have planned for my data analysis portfolio instead now smh

[waitineedaname]

it's very funny when you're trying to write something about supporting characters and the main character keeps butting their way into the story. like what the hell are you doing here, this isn't about you

[arachnestwilight]

And the rest of Eden is done. :V

[tio-trile]

crazy to me that 600+ people just unfollowed you for like. having an argumented opinion. i understand emotional attachment to characters and/or a show but honestly, your asks have been 100% thought-provoking and 0% hateful to the people who enjoyed the show. i've seen the first season of the show before i read the book, if i recall it all correctly, but aziraphale and crowley are still pretty book version-ish in my head. overall, i'm just very glad to see someone fairly popular dislike the show. i had to create a whole new blog to rant about how much s2 sucked after i watched it, and i thought i would be kind of alone in that opinion, but now i'm reading through the good omens critical tag and smiling to myself in delight.

point is - s2 is a fever dream to me. i admire the delicate way you are handling all kinds of asks right now, because i was not that kind to the show At All in my rants.

It's about 750+ people now lol (the actual number must be more, because apparently I'm also gaining some followers)...to give them the benefit of the doubt, although I think the majority of my followers are Good Omens fans (I gained a lot of fans by doing art when season 1 came out), people who unfollowed me during my ask rampage aren't necessarily all angry Good Omens fans -- they may be people who followed me for another fandom that I never do art for anymore, or people who followed me for my only my art and not my takes. (Or, people who simply do not want to see tumblr asks......or bots that got deactivated? 😂) I know a lot of people weren't swelled to hear me say that I didn't want to see S3 made, so I take full responsibility for that one. Since I am a primarily Good Omens blog, I feel like I have to make my stance clear at some point......I guess if nobody asked me and then I never talked about the GO TV show ever again that's also a way -- but I felt strongly enough about it that I couldn't just pretend I was fine with it anymore. Thank you for your kind words.

[mofffun]

Papa and Mama Ran got names!

Papa Ran is ディード (~Deed) and Mama Ran is メタリー (~Metalie)

[arsenicflame]

hi so, checking in (sorry, its personal bullshit again, ill get back to the fandom stuff you actually wanted,,,, eventually)

things. are going bad. like, really bad, like last january bad. like im about to lose all my personhood again bad. im hoping its still just going to be a small blip and things will start upticking soon, but. im bracing for that not to be the case. it feels different to me

i vaguely mentioned earlier in the week taking a bit of a step back, and ive decided to extend that into a full break. my queues probably going to run out before im back, though i have slowed it down some. thatll be the only noticable difference for 99% of people. i wont guarantee any dm responses on here, but ill do my best for the couple of people who have me on discord

i didnt really want to do this again but it gets messy in my head, and ive found the best way to control the clawing beast of attention and need and the things that make me want to be a person i dont want to be is to cut it off at the source. its not nice, and it hurts, and it definitely kills the chances of making friends but. i promise you its better than the alternative.

ill see you when i see you, i guess. i hope its soon. i hope this isnt how it feels to be. i hope the feelings that have existed this week go dormant again. but itll be what itll be. i can't change that

[l3ominor]

Man, nothing like unbridled rage to fuel me through an entire deep clean of my parents house

[literaticat]

Is it true that most books these days are not getting many, if any, print ARCs? Does getting print ARCs made for your book vs. only getting digital ARCs say anything about how much of a priority you are for your house (especially big 5)? Would love your insight on this!

Definition for Newbies: ARCs (advance readers copies), also sometimes known as AREs (advance readers editions), or "Galleys", are those things that kinda look like paperback books, though they may have a different /plainer cover and they have stamped on them things like "UNCORRECTED PROOF / NOT FINAL / FOR REVIEW ONLY / NOT FOR SALE / PLEASE CHECK QUOTES AGAINST FINAL COPY".

ARCS are marketing material -- the making of them comes out of the marketing budget. They go to bookstores/buyers so they can see what the book is all about and hopefully bring it into their store or library, they go to publications that do reviews, newspapers and magazines who might want to talk about them, and "Big Mouths" who have influence, etc. This all happens some six months or so before publication.

But, in recent years, the use of digital ARCs (eARCs) has gotten much more widespread and normalized. (10 years ago, though eBooks definitely already existed, there's pretty much NO WAY that buyers or reviewers would have been looking at most ARCs in e-format. Now, lots are, for sure!)

Now for some history. Though e-ARCs already existed years ago, of course, everyone grumbled about them -- but they had their real moment to shine during the Pandemic lockdown times. If you will recall, publishers still had books coming out, but the publisher offices, review outlet offices, etc, were closed, and everyone was working from home.

So there was literally nobody in the office to SEND the ARCs out, and nobody in the places they might be sent to RECEIVE them. So, by necessity, it went to mostly digital ARCs at that time, just like we all started to do Zoom meetings instead of in-person meetings.

When business got back to a kind of normal, some decided to carry on with the digital-only. And others went to a hybrid model where they still print them but also have digital. (I can't tell you off the top of the dome which publishers are which - I just know that some still do physical, and others are very definitely NOT doing physical anymore.)

The thing is, as much as I do like physical ARCs, there are very real drawbacks to them. They are EXTREMELY expensive per-unit to print. They are a pain in the ass to ship. And most of them don't actually get read. So like... what are we doing? In a lot of cases, it's kind of a waste of money and resources, actually; that money could be put to better use.

In terms of reviewers and buyers -- I'm sure there ARE some that only want print ARCs -- but I'll bet most find that actually, it really is easier to just look something up on Edelweiss and read it digitally than to get boxes and boxes of physical ARCs that you then have to find a place for (and which will probably end up in the recycling bin).

In terms of marketing: It is less expensive to send finished copies of the book to influencers and whatnot, and they look better, too, so they actually might want to KEEP them and show them off for the camera, etc.

So, in all, I don't think it is surprising that some publishers have cut down or even stopped printing ARCs altogether -- just like the pandemic taught them that, hey, not everyone has to go into the office everyday or even live in NYC, and we can still get work done!

ANYWAY, to answer your questions:

Is it true that most books these days are not getting many, if any, print ARCs? Kinda, yes. Some publishers aren't doing print ARCs at all -- Some publishers are still doing SOME physical ARCs, but yes, probably fewer than in decades past.

Does getting print ARCs made for your book vs. only getting digital ARCs say anything about how much of a priority you are for your house (especially big 5)? I kinda DON'T think that, actually. I think it just depends who your publisher is. In other words -- if your publisher doesn't print ARCs for any books -- you aren't getting ARCs. If they do print ARCs, you probably will get ARCs (though yes, likely fewer than you might have in years past) -- unless they have reason to believe that the ARC money would be better spent in another way.

For example, they often don't want to print ARCs for later books in a series, because like, buyers at the bookstore already know if they are doing well with that series or not, they can look at the books that are already out if they want to know what the series is like. Some "Big Books" don't get digital OR physical ARCs because they don't want them to get pirated or leaked.

But in my experience (not universal obvs!) -- books at publishers that are still doing ARCs are mostly still getting ARCs unless they have specifically said "we're not doing a paper ARC for this for X reason" (series, etc) -- but in those cases they ARE doing other promotions to draw attention to the book/series, sending out finished copies to places for marketing purposes, etc

[nerdie-faerie]

Bout to test this public WiFi

[pepprs]

im so fucking overstimulated rn LMFAOOOOO the semester starting is going to kill me for REAL!!!!