#i graduate in 2 semesters
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:) !
#ok i’m actually back now#things got rough with life and school and work and i just didn’t have time to do things i enjoyed anymore#but i’m working on some kind of balance ? maybe ??#anyways#i made dean’s list#i had a birthday last week#i got my septum pierced and actually have never felt hotter#i graduate in 2 semesters#i started writing again ! i haven’t in months and it feels so good#i also made the decision to go full send with this blog so we’ll see how that goes#i’m just trying to catch up now#i feel like i missed literally everything#idk who i’m even writing this for lmao
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Your rabbit knight pages are so good :D I know it might be a while but I’m excited to see more
thank you!! im trying to figure out how to post it on here because by the end of this semester i'm going to have 46 pages which is. well above tumblr's image limit and it's only like. 75% of act 1 of 3 of the story. the full thing is projected to be somewhere in the 200-page range 😭😭
#and i DEFINITELY will not be finishing all that before i graduate. im trying to get act 1 done this semester and act 2 next semester#but act 2 is the longest and i truly don't think i can manage more than 50 pages per semester lmao#anyway i'm definitely planning to post act 1 once the semester is over!! i just have to. figure out how#asks
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this one's for all the yuri enjoyers out there — nsft under cut
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meronia event prompt(s): scar
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#death note#mello#near#meronia#meroniaevent#fem mello#fem near#i had fun w this one!! i love drawing yuri even though i dont do it nearly as much as i want lol#also i love drawing bush thumbs up emoji#i let the lines be messier bc my hands have been a little sore and i am not in the mood for linework#and in honor of yuri day i should get to do whatever i want forever peace and love on planet yuri#anyway i didnt know what to do w near's hair but decided to keep it short bc i didnt want to cover her back for composition reasons#sorry for posting so late i woke up at like 10am which is late for me as of late and had school shit to do boooo#also im in the mood to talk so i made a pot pie today (no meat im vegetarian) and i followed no recipes and used my heart to make#it and i did so well it fucks so hard my heart always leads me to greatness and recipes do nothing for me bc im a culinary genius#<-blatantly untrue but we stay silly#oh!!! and also i got a thing in the mail the thing being a weevil plushie i ordered a bit back that i bought on a whim that i should not#have bought bc im saving my money but actually he makes my life a million bajillion times better and i love him dearly#anyway meronia event is making my life so much better i feel 100% better than i did 2 days ago and hopefully the joy this brings#me will stay w me for long enough to get through the rest of my summer classes bc they are killing me lol. my current ones are ending#in like a week or smth but i have 2 more in july *sobs* all this just to graduate a semester early#k anyway enjoy the yuri ...or dont. im not the boss of u. ig
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just checked my course grades from last semester on a whim and nearly had a fucking heart attack because one of my professors gave me an f by accident. i emailed her so hopefully she can fix it soon but holy shit that couldve been real fucking bad if i hadnt noticed
#im supposed to graduate next semester man#if this happened like 2-3 years ago i wouldve had a full on panic attack so thats progress i guess lmfao
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i start school again tomorrow send prayers
#i am not ready lol!!!#im graduating a semester early so technically this is the second sem of my junior year#also i had sooo many plans for writing before the school year started and here we are with my 2 main series still on hold#anastasia au not finished#and 2 more series that i need to work on lollll
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CHAT IM FUCKING COOOKED
APPARENTLY BOTH ME AND MY ADVISOR MISSED THAT I HAD TO TAKE 3 (THREE) PHYSICS CLASS TO GRADUATE NOT 2 (TWO)
BC APPARENTLY PHYSICS 11A B AND C DONT GO IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER
I NEED 11B TO GRADUATE
AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE 11A (which transferred over from my community college) THEN 11C ???????? THEN 11B ????????
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
AND ALL ARE SEMESTER LONG CLASSES I CANT TAKE CONCURRENTLY
I AM COOKED
#if i dont graduate on time i will be devastated#bc i worked my ass off to be able to transfer to a 4year and graduate in 2 years after community college#and now its looking very grim like i have to take an extra semester#which means i wont get to graduate with my cohort and all my friends that ive made in the department#and ill have to pay extra to change my grad date if that does happen#FUCK#irl
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ok off to play stardew for a bit before i have an anxiety attack over my meeting in a couple hours bye
#it's a meeting with a program advisor for a graduate program in museum studies#i think the program looks really interesting but 1.) i've tried grad school before & it didn't agree w/ me (for lots of reasons tbh)#2.) this program is fully online and i don't have the best track record with online classes#& 3.) i REALLY don't want to go a bajillion dollars further in debt#(my 1 attempted semester of grad school doubled my loan debt from undergrad so. i am scared.)#fallon rambles#sorry i'm so chatty rn i'll stfu soon promise
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its wild just realizing how much people have done and experienced and how prepared they are for what's to come when i am . very much not . lmao
#having my daily ''oh my god i need to change my program'' crisis#its just idk . i feel like im woefully underprepared for doing any of this kinda stuff when everyone around me already knows#what theyre doing and what they wanna get out of it. idk.#and i have a slightly better idea of what i want to do but i havent figured out how im gonna get there.#and idk.#we were talking about what we want to do with this line of study after graduating and the only thing i could think of#was that i didnt choose this specific field because of what it had to offer#i chose it because it was the easiest way to get out of the situation i was in for a LOT of fucking reasons#and now that im out i guess i can start thinking abt what i really wanna get out of all this. idk.#probably gonna need to wait till next semester anyway but thats fine. ive been waiting for this for 20 years i can wait a little longer#but idk i guess its just a little frustrating feeling so Behind everyone else.#but i guess this is what happens when u pack ur whole life into 2 suitcases to escape a high control cult. who knew!!!#its time for dinner and i crave my daily portion of chow mien. and then i will watch show 3 inches from my computer screen so i can see.#winter speaks#overall i am vibing. a little frustrated with myself but it cant be helped. i am vibing :]#personal
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Done with my fourth semester of grad school!
#this semester was absolutely brutal#(very heavy load of graduate coursework — while also teaching an undergrad language class 5 days a week)#(which is why I've been pretty quiet here lately)#I am now 2/3 of the way through the coursework portion of my PhD#earned my MA#made *very* accelerated progress learning a new language (Polish)#(the equivalent of 3 yrs of language study in 2 semesters! excited to take it to the next level in the coming schoolyear)#very productive semester — and year#now I can catch up on sleep and get back to business on my own projects#this summer's focus: get my 'Onegin' publication-ready
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been playing hades 2 this week and honestly it’s so fucking fun
im really satisfied with how the game is right now, and honestly the only note i have is that the weak status effect is either bugged or needs a buff bc it really doesn’t feel like it actually does anything
other than that the boons are pretty good, though i haven’t taken many of hermes or apollo’s boons and i haven’t encountered hera yet so i can’t say anything abt their boons
also just one suggestion, i think it would be pretty cool if the siren boss fight was slightly different depending on which song they’re singing
like if they’re singing coral crown maybe they do less damage but have a chance to stun or even charm you, but if they’re singing i am gonna claw they do more damage
#hades 2#love this game#im so glad it came out at the end of the semester#if thsi came out earlier this year i would not be graduating lmaooooooo
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what if i cancel my graduation and add a second major rn and just completely fuck up my plans and decide to suffer through more school but w a different major for like another 3 years
#this would be for a number of reasons. 1 bc the thought of doing psychological work that is not specifically sexology makes me feel sick#and 2 bc i technically get paid to go here every semester and i will not get paid to go to grad school. and 3 i have no idea what i want to#do w my life and i hate school but also i crave learning and what if like for funsies i just went for a second bachelors. prolly in geology#like i mean if i don’t think i can handle another few years of this if i have it set as a double major i can just like. graduate any time#w my psych degree yeah? and give up on the other one? like it might be too late bc i already applied for graduation but im p sure i can#have that cancelled. but also if i go to school for longer i might die forever. but also idk if continuing w psychology is like what i want#but whatever whatever i cannot be making decisions rn but like. it is An Option#idk i am just feeling kinda tortured again as as fun as it would be to actually get to do experiments and stuff i like. idk. i just wanna d#research but i Know i’ll have to get like probably a doctorate and have to work at a school for funding n shit and like idk if i’m ready to#like Commit to sexology. and also i like getting paid by my school and i don’t wanna go into debt fr for a degree i’m not 100% sure of#or my other option is to become a professional clown#but it’s whatever. it’s swagever even. *slinks off into the darkness*
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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Please I love you PLSPLSPLSPLS I BEG MAKE MORE PWASOI I’m on my hands and knees…. P.S I worship the ground you walk on 🥰🥰🥰
TRUST ME I WANT TO IM JUST not in the headspace to write atm
:(((( ALSO PLS DO NOT WORSHIP[ ANYTHIGN FGJKDFHGBIFD ;o; one of my goals this year is to write at least 2 chapters though even if they're smaller than the other ones cause i really do wanna finish the story
#i think once i graduate things will settle down more#also i think my fall semester having 3 different writing intensive courses killed my drive to write for fun too LOL#i do chip away at writing bits and pieces of the next 2 chapters though its just not substantial enough to talk about yet eep
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#i think im gonna fail this semester which means i have to plead a case as to why i should still be allowed to stay in my program#and then id have to retake these 2 courses AGAIN#and it would be a year from now so id graduate in 2025 instead of at the end of this year#but my depression is kicking my ass and im so fucking far behind in everything...#idk what to do honestly
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It’s been exactly 9 years since I posted a GoFundMe to try and stay in college, after my parents announced that they were no longer going to pay my tuition.
I decided I didn’t want to visit them during Christmas break. I spent the holidays at a friend’s house instead.
Taking away the tuition was my punishment for this “bad behavior”.
#my beloved followers raised a thousand dollars#unfortunately I would’ve needed twelve thousand to avoid being forced to drop out#now I’m 30 and I still don’t have a 4 year degree#I was only 2 semesters away from graduating!!!#I was a fucking straight A student. I know I shouldn’t still be complaining but it’s not fair. it never has been
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what i should be focused on: school
what i want to be focused on: working out, art, gay sex
#im struggling to convey why im in such a weird place this week#part of it is that my prof texted me last night asking where i was when i ditched class and like#1. ik you know me but i feel really weird getting dmed about this#2. none of your goddamn business?? like maybe im JUST coming off a 2 week long period and crashing#maybe i wanted to go out (but didnt)#its gonna be hard for people to get me to care this semester#and i think im scared of the everything#failing sure but i dont think im actually gonna fail or anything#but moreso the after#the graduating#the job or lack thereof#thots et al
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