#i gotta suck dude i gotta suckle

[goldengodcannibal]

Save me vape pacifier save me

[chuckle-clips]

Ted: Is there any sort of engineers code that would prevent you by moral code or law to create a—

[William and Charlie exclaim]

William: That went high. 

Ted: Why are you doing this— 

Charlie: Damn, you got range on that. 

Ted: Schlatt, both of the things that have happened in this studio— What are you doing? Stop. Don’t. Don’t. You’re gonna lose some serious points with me if you do that, sir. 

Charlie: You gotta stop. You have to— We’re— This is why they’re props. 

Ted: I’m not— I’m not fucking around. I’m not fucking around. 

Schlatt: Imma lose some points? 

Ted: You’re gonna lose some serious points with me, Schlatt. 

Charlie: It’s everywhere, man. St— Oh my god. You wouldn’t. 

Ted: Dude. 

William: Do it. 

Ted: You’re being like a baby right now. Like, you’re literally like— you’re like slamming on the table—

Charlie: Do it. If you do it, do it into the mic. 

Ted: You’re slamming on the table, you’re squeezing sauce bottles…

Charlie: Like they hear you suckle the teat of the— of the ketchup bottle. 

Schlatt: Talk— Talk more about mise-en-scéne for a second, Ted. 

Ted: Okay. Alright, I know what happens, so—

Charlie: Oh, fuck me. 

William: Well no, don’t suck on it, you gotta like shoot it in your mouth. 

Charlie: Oh, fuck me. Oh, genuinely screw this. 

Ted: I’m asking— I’m asking Schl— I'm asking William about something right now, and Schlatt decided a little bit too much time had gone out without it being about him and he had to start squeezing bottles and stuff and slamming on the table like a baby. 

Charlie: Absolutely fucking unbelievable. 

[Schlatt, Ted, and William laugh]

Schlatt: You got it, bro. I got you, no, I got— 

Ted: Oh, Charlie. Oh. It’s probably just oil. 

Charlie: What? No, it’s mayo. 

Ted: Like yknow it like— you know how mustard separates. 

William: But it was just poured into it. 

Charlie: No, it’s mustard. 

Ted: Yeah, I guess that’s true. 

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Ch. 3

18+ MINORS DNI

Pairing: Shigaraki x Dabi (just this part), Tomura Shigaraki x fem!reader (very brief and vague reference to Dabi x Hawks)

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: smut and feels, it's literally just smut, blow jobs, friends(?) with benefits, blow jobs, anal fingering, light degradation (both for shigs and reader), could maybe be interpreted as slight dubcon, dirty talk, slutty dabi, dabi is an asshole, so is tomura, reader has gender neutral pronouns, I'm keeping it fem cause Shigs hates women and calls them that

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Summary: In which the boys share in some good ole roommate bonding activities and Tomura has a blow job induced epiphany.

AO3 Mirror

Taglist: @dillybuggg (shoot me an ask if you want to be tagged and make sure to check my rules!)

Dabi’s mouth was wet and so fucking warm as he swallowed around Tomura’s dick.

“Oh fuck…” he groaned as Dabi hummed around his length and did that thing where he flicked the ball of his tongue ring over Tomura’s slit.

Bright blue eyes stared up through deceptively long lashes, smirking at the way Tomura drooled as he got his soul sucked out the tip of dick. The mattress underneath him creaked despite the negligible weight of both their bodies. Dabi settled on his stomach between Tomura’s pale thighs leaving fingerprint bruises in soft flesh.

They did this sometimes, though he wasn’t quite sure when exactly it started. Dabi had been his randomly assigned roommate freshman year and he grew so used to living with him that the two of them had just silently, yet mutually agreed not to fuck something up that wasn’t broken. They both berated each other for their strange and somewhat disgusting habits—Dabi would say that Tomura was a gross shut-in creep who needed a fucking shower and Tomura called Dabi out on his slutty pastimes and obsession with piercing the hell out of every available inch of skin.

And sometimes they sucked each other off.

It was overall not a terrible arrangement—Dabi got his fill of dick and Tomura could no longer be made fun of for being completely inexperienced. Plus, as much as he was loathe to admit, Dabi was really fucking good at oral. Like, demonically good. He’d been going down on Tomura for so long now too that he’d learned all the things that had him spilling onto that pierced tongue in minutes.

Tomura jerked from his thoughts when two, lube slicked fingers prodding at his ass.

“Dabi, what the fuck are you—” he protested, wiggling his scrawny hips up the bed and inadvertently letting his cock slip out of the inviting heat between his roommate’s lips.

He couldn’t see much other than the shaking mop of black hair and pale hands with chipped black nail polish digging into his legs, yanking him back.

“Shut up freak,” Dabi slurred, words slick with spit and Tomura’s precum. Dabi said it tasted like battery acid, but it never stopped him from guzzling it like he did with cheap whiskey and cigarettes on the weekends. “I know you like it.”

He did like it, but Tomura wasn’t about to contribute to the fucking evil grin Dabi was giving him as he circled the tight ring of muscle, slipping in a finger to the first knuckle.

Tomura’s head flopped back on the pillows as he bit back a low moan, “Fuck off.”

“If you say so,” Dabi shoved his finger in roughly, squeezing a second in behind it and letting Tomura bask in the burn of being stretched too quickly before ripping his hands away.

“No!” Tomura wailed pretty fucking shamelessly and grabbed the retreating wrist, placing Dabi’s tatted hand back on his dick that throbbed and leaked painfully.

“Dude, what’s gotten the fuck into you?” his roommate asked, smirking still, but pumping Tomura's cock loosely nonetheless. “Our walls are thin as hell, you know I can hear you jerkin' it in here every night, and now you’re practically begging for me to suck you off. Usually I gotta come to you.”

He was infuriatingly right again.

Tomura had indeed asked for him to do this, which was definitely out of character for him. Most of the time when they ended up in this position, it was because Dabi spent hours hounding him about it or just fucking dropped to his knees and whipped Tomura’s cock out in the middle of a movie night or snuck into his room while Tomura was gaming and swallowed him whole just to laugh at the way his online friends reacted to the noises.

He’s just been so pent up lately, and you insisting on fucking touching his arm or sitting on the floor between his feet at League meetings was really not helping it.

“I don’t know,” Tomura lied, both to Dabi and himself in the hopes that the head of black hair would just go back to bobbing on his dick like he so desperately needed it to.

“Bro, I have fucked with enough people to know when they’re wishing I was someone else,” Dabi scoffed and ran a blessedly hot tongue from base to tip and suckled softly at the blush pink head before pulling back with a wet pop. “So who is it?”

“I’m not fucking thinking about anyone,” Tomura hissed, fisting Dabi’s spiky, black locks and thrusting into his mouth till he felt the contractions of Dabi gagging around his length. “Usually you're jumping at the chance to get dick in your mouth, so why does it matter?”

Dabi pulled back, wiping the silvery string of spit leaking past his lips away and scowling as his fingers ghosted over Tomura’s balls and sank back into his pliant ass.

“Seriously creep, I’m five seconds away from ghosting and you can fuck your hand like the sad little bitch you are. So tell me their name or I’m walking right now.”

Tomura huffed as he felt Dabi’s long, rough fingers pulled from him again and the heat of his mouth growing farther away.

“Ugh fine, it’s that bitch I’ve been working on the English thing with.”

Dabi made a face like his brain was buffering.

“Seriously?” he asked, mouth gaping in a way that had Tomura even more furious his dick wasn’t buried in it.

“Yes!” he shouted and grabbed Dabi’s cheeks in both hands, sinking past his waiting lips and practically purring when he felt them close around the base as his long tongue massaged the shaft. “Oh god yes…”

Dabi rolled his eyes, managing to look smug even with a cock stretching his lips taught against the piercings. He used to try and tease Tomura about how small his dick was, but it was hard to believe him. Especially with how he choked sometimes when Tomura got rough with him despite his boasts of lacking a gag reflex. Not to mention how he looked now, jaw probably aching with the stretch and loving every second of it.

Tomura lazily bucked his hips up and whined high when the fingers in his ass curled and thrust against that fucking spot he hadn’t known was there until Dabi found it for him.

The pleased sound he made tapered off into a growl though, when his roommate with questionable benefits pulled off again to run his slutty fucking mouth.

“Tell me about it,” he mumbled, kitten licking at Tomura’s cock and running the ball of his piercing through the slit again. Tomura gulped when he pulled it back into his mouth to swallow the bead of precum he’d collected. “I’ve seen your fucking paramour around before, pretty serious about school though. And kinda out of your league too, not gonna lie. So, what would you do if your cute little partner was here instead?”

Tomura bristled at the insult but couldn’t keep his pissed off look when Dabi went back to sucking his cock like a pro and curling those fucking fingers against his prostate. When he did speak, he blushed hard at the way his voice cracked and sounded like he was crying.

“I don’t fucking—holy shit—know,” he gasped and Dabi hummed both to egg him on and to get a whole new wave of precum gushing out of Tomura’s dick.

“C’mon man,” Dabi groaned, and Tomura distinctly heard the sound of a pants zipper and felt Dabi’s hips canting against the sheets.

That fucking masochistic whore. He would get off to Tomura dirty talking about someone else while he sucked his dick.

He considered stopping the whole thing right there, but then Dabi was sinking a third finger into his ass and thrusting hard while he hallowed his cheeks around Tomura’s cock and sucked—

“Tits!” Tomura cried and covered his burning, red cheeks with his hands. “I want to put my fucking face in them and taste them in my mouth. Sometimes I can see the outline of their nipples when we’re working and the air conditioning comes on and I want to suck on them so fucking bad I can’t think about anything else the whole night.”

Once he got started, Tomura found the words just spilled from him like a dam had burst. Dabi, the depraved bastard, groaned loud and ground his pierced dick harder against the mattress as he continued to deepthroat Tomura’s cock and fuck his ass at that perfect angle.

“Sometimes when they drag me to their stupid club I lose the rounds cause I—oh god, oh fuck—just imagine them in my lap, sitting on my cock and fucking writhing and squeezing me while we face off. Such a fucking—Dabi more!—stereotypical try-hard, bitch but I want to be inside them so fucking bad,” he felt actual tears stinging the raw corners of his eyes when Dabi sped up on his dick.

Tomura scrapped his nails against Dabi’s scalp, holding on for dear life as his breathing became even more ragged than usual. His friend’s cruelty streak reared its ugly head as Dabi sensed the tensing of Tomura’s balls and the clench of his tight ass and slowed down a fraction, keeping him teetering on the edge of an explosively pleasurable release.

“Fucking asshole,” he growled, but didn’t dare try to fuck Dabi’s face lest he make good on his threat to leave Tomura high and dry. “I just—shit, ah, don’t stop—they talk to me sometimes and I just wanna suck their tongue into my mouth so they shut up and I need to hear them fucking falling apart or using that stupid, stuck up teacher voice on me and fucking my ass—Dabi Fuck—is that what you wanted to hear?”

Dabi, because he got off on being a little shit, gave him one last delicious swallow before pulling back and fisting Tomura’s sopping wet cock. The fingers had stopped thrusting and were now pressed hard against his prostate, sending shocks through his body and making him twitch violently as his blood rushed with endorphins. He never stopped grinding his own dick against Tomura’s cotton sheets the whole time.

“You got it bad huh, don’t ya creep,” he mused, letting a fat glob of spit fall from his lips and keep his palm slick. “That’s the most I’ve ever heard you talk about fucking anything, much less another actual person.”

“No I fucking don’t, “ Tomura writhed against the pillows, giving in to the undeniable urge to simultaneously fuck up into Dabi’s hand and ride his fingers.

“Who knew you were such a desperate whore, falling for the first person to show you a modicum of attention,” Dabi jeered and squeezed the tip of his dick hard, listening to Tomura let out a choked sob. “I’m actually kinda proud of you, bro. My little incel baby’s growing up.”

Dabi cooed at Tomura, sinking sharp teeth deep into the meat of his thigh and sucking a bruise into the flesh.

“You’re the one—nghh—getting off on it,” Tomura clapped back but didn’t bother denying it again.

There was a sense of dread growing in his gut alongside the mounting pleasure of his orgasm that Dabi was currently holding hostage. Dabi may have had a dickish personality just as massive as the actual dick that was currently painting his comforter in stains, but he knew Tomura.

And he did, admittedly have much more experience with these types of things.

“Fuck yeah I am,” Dabi grunted. “Last time I let you return the favor you bit my fucking cock. I gotta get off somehow.”

“Don’t say rude shit to me and I won’t bite you.”

“Watch it, Tomura,” Dabi huffed and nipped at his thigh again. “You should be thanking me for my services.”

“Not if you’re gonna keep running your mouth instead of sucking me off,” he tried to sound intimidating but he was well and truly wrecked and couldn’t find the energy to give his words an edge.

“You should ask them out,” Dabi continued, ignoring the failed attempts at banter. “Bring ‘em over or some shit. Maybe then if I lock down that blonde piece of ass I’ve been talking to, we’ll both have much more interesting things to go down on.”

“Your whore ass is the one always jumping me, don’t act like it’s a fucking chore,” Tomura groaned as Dabi started licking at his cock again, pressing sloppy, half kisses on the tip as he jerked it in his fist.

“Not my fault I get bored sometimes,” he replied and closed his eyes as Tomura clenched particularly hard around Dabi’s relentless fingers. “But seriously, you should go for it. I’d kill to find out if you’re just as bad at eating pussy as you are sucking dick.”

“Fuck y—” Tomura started to say when Dabi reared up till they were chest to chest and their foreheads knocked together.

“I fucking will if you don’t shut up, creep, and I think it’d be so much better if you handed your fucking virginity to that pretty little partner bitch instead,” he said and stunned Tomura into silence when he licked into his mouth.

Dabi had kissed him before, but Tomura could count the number of occasions on one hand and almost all had been when his punk ass roommate was drunk as hell and in his feels about some tortured past. But Dabi’s eyes were bright and lucid now, blinking down at Tomura as he dragged their tongues together, flooding his mouth with the faint taste of cigarettes and jizz.

Their cocks brushed together too, the stimulation making Tomura whine into Dabi’s lips, who dropped a merciful hand down, taking them both in his fist and began pumping.

He didn’t stop as he pulled back, grinning down at Tomura like a fucking maniac—all shitty tattoos and silver piercings. The little barbels that stuck through Dabi’s nipples brushed against his own and made him moan at the cool metal and hot skin on his sensitive chest. Tomura was fucking sensitive everywhere, as Dabi had helped him discover, probably from a lifetime of being touched more by cheap sweatshirts than human hands.

“Now,” Dabi grunted as he thrust loosely against Tomura’s cock and his own fist before pulling away to settle back between his legs. “Shut up and cum down my throat—gotta give your virgin ass a refresher on mind shattering orgasms, so you know if that bitch is any good or not.”

Tomura’s tongue was halfway around a witty comeback when Dabi swallowed him to the hilt once again and started working his ass even harder. He really fucked hoped the neighbors were not home to hear him get his shit rocked at 2pm on a fucking Tuesday, cause Dabi might have been flunking out of his classes but he’d get a goddamn A plus for sucking dick.

The hand on his thigh, spreading him open, migrated to his hip so that Tomura could snap his legs shut hard around Dabi’s ring littered ears as he guided Tomura to grind down on his hand. The pressure in his gut built up exponentially higher now that Dabi wasn’t trying to hold him on the edge of climax. It took an embarrassingly short amount of time for him to acquiesce to Dabi’s request, as he tightened up in a full body clench before gripping Dabi’s hair and spilling rope after rope of hot, sticky release straight onto his roommate’s tongue.

Dabi, the fucking slut, made a show of swallowing every drop that spilled from Tomura’s abused cock, milking his prostate the whole time and only letting Tomura slip from his mouth when he was soft and finally spent.

The fingers in his ass remained though, still for the most part and slowly dipping in and out every so often. Tomura whimpered and clenched but was somewhat thankful for the remaining feeling of fullness.

“So, did you really mean all that?” Dabi asked with his signature smirk. “You really want your group project partner to cockwarm you and fuck your tight little ass?”

“Fuck off,” Tomura scowled and smacked Dabi hard across the face with an errant pillow.

Dabi yanked it from his grasp and tossed his ammunition onto the floor. “Hey, it’s not actually too bad in here,” he wiggled his fingers for emphasis which elicited an embarrassingly high gasp from Tomura, “give ‘em my number if you need a reference for asshole tightness.”

“Get the fuck out of my ass and my room,” Tomura kicked at Dabi’s back as it shook with laughter that lacked it’s usual jeering bite.

“What? Saving the cuddles for your new S/O?” he shot back, nuzzling his cum and spit covered face into Tomura’s neck.

With their chests pressed together, Tomura could feel the cooling, sticky remnants of Dabi’s own release coating his stomach. He squirmed against the sensation and pushed at the offending chest until his friend flopped down onto the scant space left between the mattress and the wall.

“Ew,” Tomura ran a finger through the mess Dabi had left smeared on him. “I’m taking a fucking shower.”

“God, finally!” Dabi exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and producing a cigarette from god knows where. He let the paper rest between his lips unlit. “I should have thought about getting you fucked out on the reg earlier, creep, if it’ll stop you smelling like ass.”

Tomura launched the discarded pillow which hit it’s mark with a dull thump.

“You better be fucking gone when I get back,” he hissed and stumbled naked, on shaking legs into the hall and to their shared bathroom.

Dabi’s cackling followed him until the door shut and the lock clicked behind him.

Tomura turned the water on quickly, letting steam cloud the mirror before he jumped under the spray. The only products on the shelves were Dabi’s for the most part with the exception of a store brand bar of soap and some 3 in one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.

Tomura knew he should clean himself more often, but his skin was so fucking raw all the time it hurt to do, so he mostly avoided it unless the smell got really unbearable—or Dabi was painting him in jizz whenever the opportunity presented itself.

He tried to get in and out as quickly as possible so he didn’t have the opportunity to think too hard about the admission his fuck buddy roommate had pulled from him mid blow job. Because if he did—in his post nut, clingy state—he’d most certainly imagine you were with him, tits pressed against his back and your soft, insistent tongue dipping past his lips, tasting like fruit gum and expensive cafe drinks instead of nicotine and cum.

And he really couldn’t handle that. Cause Dabi was right, he had something fucking bad for you and the thought of another rejection loomed large.

When he did towel himself off and shuffle, still naked back into his bedroom Dabi was nowhere to be seen. Tomura’s phone however, was left sitting right next to the jizz stain on his sheets. He frowned at the open balcony door where Dabi was no doubt smoking and snatched the device before tumbling onto the pillows.

He powered it on and scrolled through his notifs before one caught his eyes. You and Dabi were really the only people that ever texted him, but the contact name above this one had changed.

bitch (endearing)

— hey, starting an impromptu round of Smash soon if you’re interested <3

The stupid text heart made his chest throb and he stared at Dabi’s new nickname for you, not even noticing the fucking grin that tugged at his cheeks.

He bit his lip to stop the twitching when it pulled too hard at the chapped skin and scrambled for his clothes before shooting a quick confirmation text back. Tomura opted for his only pair of black jeans this time instead of sweats and the least stained sweatshirt he owned.

Dabi peaked around the corner when he heard the clink of Tomura’s keys. The bastard was smoking in just a pair of underwear that left half his ass on display for all the whole fucking street. He smirked, quirking his eyebrows and bringing his hands up to slip his index finger through the circle he made on the other hand in a silent, vulgar gesture.

“Screw off,” Tomura shouted over his shoulder and made for the door.

“Wrap it before you tap it, bro!” Dabi called after him, cut off by the subsequent slamming.

Tomura took the stairs two at a time, pulling out his phone and tucking the hood over his damp hair, this time to hide the growing smile playing at his lips.

[writethelifeyouwant]

Nothing On But The Radio

Pairing: Jared x Jensen  Rating: 18+ Tags: SAXX, clothing kink, dirty talk, degradation, blowjob, anal fingering, object insertion (DO NOT try this at home - not safe), anal sex Word Count: 2.7k  Created for: @spnkinkbingo - SAXX | @anyfandomgoesbingo - Dirty Talk Prompt: @downanddirtydean 's 500 follower celebration challenge: “The internet is more than just naked people. You do know that?” - Congrats on the milestone babe! 

“The internet is more than just naked people. You do know that – right?”

Jared jumps in his chair as Jensen comes up behind him on set. He had been scrolling through the SAXX website to stock up on a few necessities, which isn’t necessarily embarrassing, but still not something you want people looking over your shoulder while you’re doing. “They’re not naked, Jensen,” Jared scoffs, going back to adding more pieces to his cart. “And stop stealing my lines,” he adds as an afterthought when he realises that Jensen was quoting Sam to him.

“Okay, mostly naked,” Jensen laughs and leans over the back of Jared’s chair, their heads almost touching, but not quite.

“Dude, do you mind?” Jared chuckles and tries to put some space between him and his co-star.

“Yeah, I mind. Lemme see,” Jensen grabs for the phone and starts scrolling through Jared’s cart. “I want to pick something out.”

“Why? So you can steal them for yourself?” Jared grins.

“No, so I can tear them in half before I fuck you in them,” Jensen whisper-growls into Jared’s ear so no one else can hear him. Jared goes bright red, checking no one is near enough to overhear them. “What, you embarrassed baby boy? Don’t want everyone around here knowing a big, strong guy like you lets himself get fucked in the ass every night?” Jared is pretty sure he’s stopped breathing. “Don’t want them to know what a little whore you turn into the second I get you alone and on your knees?”

“Jesus, Jen, fuck,” Jared gulps and steadies himself, trying to get a handle on the erection that is starting to push a little too insistently against his zip. “Shove the dirty talk, will ya? We’ve got a whole other scene to film before they let us outta here.”

“So is that a yes to buying whatever I pick out?” Jensen smirks.

“Yes, fine,” Jared concedes and sinks back in his folding chair. “Just nothing pink, yeah?”

“Oh, I am one hundred percent buying you the pink ones now,” Jensen grins and Jared drops his head into his hands. Why is his boyfriend such a doofus?

Their little exchange is all but forgotten until Jared drops by his trailer and sees Jensen waiting on the steps for him, brown cardboard box in hand.

“Terri dropped off a package for you,” Jensen waves the box around in case it hadn’t been obvious to Jared what he meant. “I told her I’d be sure to give it to you,” he grins. Jared’s heart skips, knowing exactly what is in that box. Well – not exactly what is in the box. He knows everything he added to his cart before Jensen got hold of his phone, but Jen hit ‘purchase’ before he passed it back, and deleted the receipt, so there was no way for Jared to figure out what Jensen had ordered.

“Why do I feel like there’s a decent chance you’ve hidden a bomb in here,” Jared asks as he gingerly takes the package from Jensen and pushes into his trailer.

“Because you’re weird,” Jen laughs, staying on the pavement. “They need me for blocking checks but we’re done in time for dinner if you’re free?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Jared nods.

“And, Jar–” Jared turns back around at Jensen’s call. “I count on seeing you in those tonight.”

“Which ones?” Jared calls back, a feeble attempt at a joke.

“Oh, you’ll know which ones,” Jensen laughs, and Jared can feel the hunger in it. He gives Jared a perfunctory salute and makes his way back to the soundstage, leaving Jared with his new package.

As soon as the trailer door is shut, Jared tears into the box. The relief he feels upon not seeing any pink is immediate, but it’s closely followed by suspicion about what Jensen actually did buy him. He quickly skims through the items and finds the culprit – a pair of black briefs that are really testing the limit of the definition of ‘briefs’. Jared is positive that these will barely cover any part of his body, and when he tries them on a few minutes later, his suspicions are confirmed. He looks like a hooker in a g-string. Almost certain that he is going to regret this later, Jared pulls his jeans back on over the new underwear and gets redressed.

When Jared and Jensen stumble back into their shared apartment later that night, very much worse for wear courtesy of the new whiskey bar downtown that Misha recommended to them, Jared had mostly forgotten that he’s wearing ridiculously skimpy underwear. Jensen, on the other hand, hasn’t been able to get the image of Jared in the tight black briefs he’d bought him out of his head – and now he wants to see if the real thing measures up to his imagination.

“Right, J-rod,” Jensen claps once to get Jared’s attention and points to their bedroom, “bedroom, strip, now.”

“Romantic Jay,” Jared grins dopily but does as he’s told.

“Trust me, ain’t nothing romantic about what I’m planning on doing to that ass of yours,” Jensen laughs and follows Jared, catching the recently-shed flannel Jared flings down the hallway at him.

“Bettin’ on it,” Jared smiles, stripping out of his t-shirt in the doorway to their room and dropping it to his feet. Jensen can see the waistband of Jared’s underwear peeking above his jeans, the little ‘SAXX’ right in the centre of the deliciously cut vee of Jared’s hips. Jensen wants nothing more than to run his tongue along the line straight to Jared’s cock – and then he realises there’s nothing stopping him, so he drops to his knees in front of his boyfriend and does just that. He drags his tongue across Jared’s skin, smiling when he hears his intake of breath, and moves lower and lower until he reaches the ‘SAXX’ label and sucks it into his mouth. Jared jumps when Jensen lets it go and the elastic snaps back against his stomach. “Jerk,” he whines.

“Shuddup ‘Sam’,” the intonation is heavy in Jensen’s words and he drops into his ‘Dean’ voice, grinning as he undoes the button and zip on Jared’s jeans, tugging them down harshly and leaving him bare except for the skimpy underwear. “Unless you want me to make you my bitch tonight?” Jensen uses his Dean voice again as he leans into mouth against the erection straining in Jared’s briefs, the black cotton bulging so much Jensen’s surprised Jared actually fit himself inside them in the first place – now he was hard they barely cover anything.

Jared moans at the feeling of Jensen’s mouth against his cock. Something about getting sucked off through fabric always hits a bit differently than just having someone’s mouth on your dick, and right now, with Jensen suckling intently on the tip of his dick through his briefs, this is hitting exactly the right spot for Jared. “Fuck,” he whimpers, threading his fingers through Jensen’s hair, “Jen, you know if you want me to be your bitch, all ya gotta do is ask,” Jared pants, looking down to meet Jensen’s eyes, which are smirking up at him from where he still has his lips wrapped around Jared’s dick.

Jensen pulls off of Jared with a grin and gets to his feet. “Yeah I know, baby boy,” he coos and pulls Jared in for a heated kiss, tongue pushing its way between Jared’s lips, hot and wet. “Now, be a good little bitch and go get yourself ready for me, yeah?” Jensen smirks as he watches Jared nod and trip over his own feet in an effort to get to the bed quickly. He gets the lube out from the nightstand and goes to take off his underwear but Jensen hurries over to stop him. “Nuh uh, sweetheart. Keep those on for me,” Jensen orders with his hand clenched around Jared’s wrist.

“Sure,” Jared gulps, wide eyed, and moves his now slick fingers behind him and sneaks his hand beneath the waistband of his briefs to find his entrance. Jensen watches Jared hungrily as he fingers himself open, undressing all the while; plaid, then t-shirt, then jeans, then boxers – all one by one dropping to the floor. Jared moans when Jensen starts to stroke his own cock, admiring the drop of precum that’s already spilling over the dark pink tip. “C-can I?” Jared stutters, eyes locked on Jensen’s fingers moving slowly up and down himself.

“Yeah, c’mere baby,” Jensen kneels on the bed and shuffles closer so Jared can reach him with his mouth. The second he’s near enough, Jared sucks Jensen between his lips, running his tongue along the underside all the way to the hilt, until his nose is pressed snuggly against Jensen’s hip. “Fuck, forgot how much of a cockslut you are when you’re drunk,” Jensen chuckles deeply, combing Jared’s hair back off his forehead so he can watch him start to move up and down on his dick. “That’s it baby. Shit, your mouth feels so good,” he groans, closing his eyes and bucking his hips into Jared’s eager throat. “Such a good little slut letting me fuck your mouth while you finger that ass open for me. Got you wrapped around my little finger don’t I, bitch?” Jared moans around the cock in his mouth but Jensen doesn’t let up enough for him to get a proper answer out. “Yeah, thought so,” he scoffs.

Jared hums and moans around Jensen’s cock as he continues to finger himself. He’s definitely stretched and slick enough now, but he loves the feeling of Jensen using him like this, so he’s not gonna stop until Jensen tells him that’s what he wants him to do. After a few more minutes of Jensen fucking his throat, Jared feels him start to tense and jerk, and he knows Jen is close.

“Stop, stop, fuck baby,” Jensen groans, pulling Jared off his cock by his hair, and drawing a whine from the younger man. “Don’t want me to cum before I get the chance to fuck that ass, do you?” Jared shakes his head weakly, still pushing his fingers lazily in and out of his hole. He whimpers when he pulls his fingers out, and Jensen smirks down at him as he tries to once again take off the pair of SAXX. Jensen catches Jared’s wrists and holds them behind his back, pushing him onto his stomach. “I didn’t say you could take those off,” he growls against Jared’s ear, nipping at the skin and pulling another whimper out of him. Jensen sits up, keeping Jared’s wrists pinned in one of his hands while he reaches for the lube with the other to slick up his cock. “Your ass looks so good in these baby, look like such a little tease.” He lands a harsh slap against Jared’s backside, making Jared jump and cry out. “Imagine if all those fans saw more than just the label peeking out over your jeans, saw what a big man whore you look like with nothing but these on.”

“Jen, please,” Jared groans, humping against the bed to try to get some kind of friction or relief. “You want me to beg, I’ll beg, please for the love of God, put your cock inside me.” Jensen just laughs and spanks Jared again, even harder this time. “C’mon Jen, please, need you,” Jared pants, looking over his shoulder to catch Jensen’s eye. The desperation on his face is clear as he moans – “Need something inside me, please Jay.”

“You need something inside you baby boy?” Jensen sympathises, relinquishing his grip on Jared’s wrists, but the look of mischief in Jensen’s eyes makes Jared nervous.

“Yes, fuck, please,” Jared begs again.

“We can fix that,” Jensen smirks, reaching forward to grip just under the waistband of Jared’s briefs and wrenching the seam apart, the underwear ripping easily under Jensen’s violent influence. Pieces of the briefs come away in Jensen’s hand and he grins, getting an idea. Eyeing the shine of Jared’s hole, Jensen gathers some of the lube leaking out and smears it over the cotton, which is already damp with lube and Jared’s precum where his cock had been leaking. Bunching up the sopping cloth, Jensen pushes a finger into Jared to check he was still adequately open, then he shoves the torn material inside.

Jared chokes on his moans in surprise at what he’s feeling. The ball of cotton is pressing just against his prostate and it’s a very weird sensation but he can’t deny it feels good. “Fuck Jen,” he groans, pushing off his stomach and onto his hands and knees. Jensen lets out his own groan when he sees Jared’s hole winking up at him, showing him glimpses of the black cotton he’d just shoved inside him. He ruts his cock along the seam of Jared’s ass, catching the tip on the edge of his hole and dragging groans from both men. Jensen can’t hold himself back anymore, and he finally pushes himself into Jared, moving agonisingly slowly to tease the younger man as much as possible.

“You dick,” Jared pants, dropping his head to rest against his arms and pushing his hips back into Jensen’s cock, forcing him the rest of the way inside.

“Someone’s eager,” Jensen tries to keep his tone light, but now that he’s inside Jared, who keeps clenching his ass around his cock in an effort to get him to do something, he’s lost the majority of his composure.

“Just fucking fuck me already,” Jared hisses, bucking his hips back again. Jensen is tempted to make Jared wait, and beg for it – tease him until he’s crying in desperation – but he knows even he won’t last that long. As he draws out and snaps his hips back in, the tip of his cock brushes against the cotton he’s shoved into Jared and the sensation is electrifying. The little bit of slick friction just on the tip of his cock every time he fucks into Jared is so fucking good, he can’t get enough, and his pace turns frantic quickly. “Fucking hell, fuck yes,” Jared moans beneath him, spurring him on even more. “You fuck me so fucking good baby, shit, don’t stop, don’t stop, don’–” Jared’s words trail off into unintelligible whimpers as Jensen pounds into him mercilessly.

“Yeah, fucking love how good you take it baby. Gonna cum on my cock like a good little whore? My good little bitch, huh?” Jensen grits out breathlessly, draping himself over Jared’s back and angling his hips so he knows he’s dragging his cock over Jared’s sweet spot with every push in.

“Fuck, please, please,” Jared whimpers, turning his face to Jensen’s and clumsily trying to press their lips together. “I– I’m.. fuck,” Jared keens and Jensen growls his approval against his ear.

“C’mon, cum for me baby boy, wanna feel you cum,” Jensen snarls and he feels Jared let go, his hole spasming around Jensen’s cock as he empties himself in long white ropes onto the bed beneath them. Feeling Jared lose control is all that Jensen needs to go over the edge himself. He finally lets himself cum, grunting as he slams his hips into Jared one last time and stills, the tip of his cock pressed against the ball of black cotton still nestled inside Jared, now covered in Jensen’s cum. That thought brings a satisfied smirk to Jensen’s lips.

When their breathing has settled, Jensen carefully pulls out of Jared and rolls off of him, collapsing on the bed. Jared drops on top of him, nestling into Jensen’s chest and giving him a small kiss.

“That was really hot Jen,” Jared smiles drunkenly – though whether he’s drunk on whiskey or his orgasm, Jensen can’t tell.

“Just like you, baby boy,” Jensen says softly, kissing the top of Jared’s head.

“But,” Jared says shiftily, glancing up at Jensen.

“But?” Jen prompts, defensively.

“How am I supposed to get this fucking underwear out of my ass?”

Tag List: @vulgar-library @tintentrinkerin @negans-lucille-tblr @fandomfic-galore @petitgateau911 @whoreforackles @schaefchenherde @kickingitwithkirk @little-diable @laxe-chester67 @kassyscarlett @delightfullykrispypeach @05supernatural20 @akshi8278 @deandreamernp @lyarr24 @lovealways-j @stoneyggirl @walkersbabygirl @austin-winchester67​ 

[thevoidscreams]

These trend are made for walking

Summary:You try out an internet trend with your bird boyfriend It ends up being so much more. 18+ Warnings: Oral sex, vaginal sex, some swearing and nudity Word count:3232

(Yo this got weirdly soft at the end. What even is this?)

You didn’t usually spend too much time on social media because overall places like Facebook and twitter and Instagram were simply breeding grounds for vile bitter behavior and you were just tired of it.

Of course not every social media platform was perfect but there were some that overall just seemed better than others.

So far your foray into the Vine knockoff, tik tok, hadn’t been as bad as you first thought it was going to be. The comedy pages had decent original content and the artist put a lot of passion into their works and that was genuinely nice. Call all them to the House of Vibes cause that what they were, at least to you they were. 

In all your endless scrolling and liking of every Hawks cosplayer you could possibly find, you took notice of certain trends. They never compelled you too much despite their popularity, but one trend finally did catch your eye and there was just no way you could stop yourself from giving it a whirl. 

Keigo had a rare opportunity today. Today he could stay home and do nothing, just nothing. Or so he thought, until he stared down at the caller ID on his phone.

It was his manager. With an exaggerated sigh he pressed talk and put on his best happy tone he could manage. “Hey man what’s up? Why you callin me  on my day off?” It was a rather aggressive question for the cheery tone but if they were gonna bother him with some business shit while he was supposed to be relaxing then it was going to be their problem.

The plan was perfect, you looked perfect, your phone was in hand and your clothes were on the floor. Hawks favorite pair of your underwear was in hand and you were ready to attack. 

You started the video and made your way towards the living room where you could hear your man complaining about how he was positive he’d filed those reports properly.  It was the best possible timing because he’d pick you over dumb work stuff any day and you knew it.

The fuck was so important about those reports that it couldn’t wait till he got back to work to take care of it. He scrubbed his hand over his face as he growled. “Look, I can take care of it when I get in on Monday. This is my first day off in weeks and it’s not like the world will end if I don’t come now.” His manager began on another spiel about taking responsibility but the hero was already checking out.

You peeked around the corner into the room. He wasn’t facing you, he was sitting on the couch wings draped over the low backrest, his feathers were unusually sharp looking which meant he was irritated. Understandable considering you could hear his manager on the other end of the phone lecturing him as you approached slowly. Well, you smiled, this ought to help. You balled up the panties and tossed them onto his head.

Hawks wasn’t really listening. He’d heard this all before and was pretty used to it. What he wasn’t used to was being assaulted by undergarments. He pulled the lacy cloth from atop his head and looked at it confused. Turning he found the source of his sudden bombardment and his jaw dropped in surprise. 

The voice on the other line was almost entirely forgotten as he stood up. “Uh hey man I gotta let you go. Something really important just came up.” 

“What? No, listen hawks,” but he didn’t have time to finish as Keigo’s thumb brushed over the end call button.

“Hey babe what’s all this?” His look of awe turned to a look of pure hunger as you began to back towards the bedroom. “Oh just thought you could use a little TLC.”

“Oh? Then why are you backing up?” He hadn’t come around the couch yet and was grinning at you like a mad man.

“Well if you really want it babe you’re gonna have to come and get it.” You laughed and began to jog backwards faster.

Never one to let his prey escape Keigo cleared the couch in one jump and made a beeline for you. A yelp then a giggle bubbled up out of you and you turned to full on run back to the room, your prey drive sufficiently activated.

You didn’t make it far. You were fast but Keigo was faster. He snatched the phone from your hand and tossed it aside as he picked you up and carried you to the bed.

His lips attacked your neck and chest as his hand massaged your hips. “Can I have some of that TLC now pretty bird?” He had a soft eager tone as he lavished you with affection.

“Of course, but we’re gonna have to get you out of those clothes first. “

With lighting like quickness he bounced off the bed and began to stripe like his clothes had caught flame. 

“You have no idea how much I love you right now.”

“Needed to escape from the evil phone call?”

“Yes, please remind me not to accept phone calls on my days off anymore.”

You gladly accepted him into your arms as he crawled back onto the bed.

“How would you like to receive your loving care first my love?”

Hawks kissed you and took your hand from his shoulder, pulling you up till you were both kneeling. 

“Well I think the first order of business would be to get a taste for each other don’t you think?” 

With a nod and a wink you pushed him back into a sitting position and licked your lips.

You didn’t enjoy putting your mouth on other people until you met Kiego. He was a rather clean dude despite his inherent laziness and he  kept a stellar level of hygiene. More than that though, he wasn’t as pushy as others before him and the best part was he didn’t hold back on any of his sounds. Hearing him moan in pleasure was better than any song and you could happily listen to it all day.

You were blessed with the first of his little groans as you ran your tongue along the underside of his length all the way to the tip, giving a little lick to the slit at the top. He was already so hard and it made you smile as you took the tip into your mouth and suckled it. 

He leaned back, resting his weight on an elbow as the other came to rest softly in your hair, guiding you gently down his length. Relaxing your jaw and throat you were able to take him most of the way right off the bat which wasn’t always the case, but today you were determined. Keigo was certainly enjoying your efforts as you pulled back to the tip, gave it another little suck and dipped back down till he was hitting the back of your throat.

“Fuck Dove, just like that.” His voice was thready and needy and made your body feel just that much warmer. Your tongue danced along his shaft as you sucked and slowly he began to sink back onto the bed, eyes shut, nothing but a blissful expression while you worked. It was nice knowing you did this to him, but you too were excited to get a turn. Giving your boyfriend a hum and a little pat on the thigh you watched him open an eye to look at you. Gently you laid your hand over the one he had resting on the back of your skull and pressed it down into your locks harder. 

Keigo’s blowjob addled brain finally seemed to get what you were suggesting and his smile widened by a mile.

He tightened his hand in your hair pulling slightly as he waited for you to give the go ahead. It took a moment of adjusting position but finally you locked eyes with him and of all the signals you could have given you went with a wink, he almost laughed at the sight of you with his cock in your mouth winking. He didn’t let it stop him though, after all it would be rude to laugh at you when you’d so generously offered your mouth and throat as his person fuck toy.

Dragging you back a few inches till your mouth was half way down his length and then began to shallowly thrust his cock into your mouth. As much as he wanted to go all out and face fuck you till you were gagging he knew he had to build up but it was steadily growling harder to hold back.

“Ah such a good girl sucking my cock like that. You want me to fuck your face?”

Oh how nice that sounded. The thought alone made you moan and your pussy drip. 

“Alright then I can see how bad you want it and you’re being good for me.” The force of his hips increased and the tip of his dick hit the back of your throat making you gag. Even still he held your head in his hands, fingers tangled in your soft locks as he rutted against your face. 

You were enjoying yourself, the feeling of his hot length in your mouth was just so strangely satisfying and each time you pushed his cock to the back of your throat you could nuzzle the little patch of flax color curls above his cock. It tickled the tip of your nose and made you want to giggle at the oddly fun sensation. Not that you could though, giggling was hard to do with penis in your throat, so instead you settled for what might have been a moan.

Hawks wasn’t going to last doing this, it was too good and he couldn’t even remember what the fuck fuck pacing even was. Your mouth was just so wet, warm and wonderful. 

“Ah fuck, fuck! Dove I’m. I’m gonna” It was all he could manage to mumble as you pulled back to the tip and let him feed you his cum. The slightly bitter taste is better than normal and you have to credit it to his better eating habits since you two started dating. 

His wings are jittery and little feathers come loose and flutter to the bedding below. 

“You look happy.” You comment innocently, as though you hadn’t just had his genitals in your mouth. “Well yeah, getting a blowjob from a hot person tends to do that.” You blush and have to laugh. Sexual acts with Keigo were nothing if not fun and you like that no matter what you were doing he always found a way to make you smile.

The two of you took a breather and you got a drink of water.

“Alright, I do believe it is my turn to get a taste of you pretty bird.” You flopped down onto the bed with a nearly comical amount of enthusiasm and huffed lightly when you bounced not once but twice. Your boyfriend was on you in a hot second as soon as you stopped bouncing, your thighs already up on his shoulders, his warm hands holding you firmly in place. A quick flash of pink darted over his beautiful licks and golden eyes surveyed your dripping sex. “Oh wow you’re already so wet. Does sucking me really get you that riled up?”

You shrugged and met his eyes. “Who can say? We might have to test that theory more in the future. You know, just go all in, research style and keep records, eat some snacks while we take notes.”

Keigo hummed and nodded. “Good idea, I like how you think. Oh and while we’re on the topic of snacks,” He paused and pointed one finger at your dripping sex, “are you going to eat that or can I?” You slapped a hand over your mouth as you broke down into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. “Oh my gosh Kei! What even?” You snorted once then twice as you shook from the force of the giggles. He found himself grinning like a fool, God did he love you.

Satisfied with your reaction Keigo immediately set to work as he ran his tongue up your slit, marveling at the taste of your juices. Your hips bucked at the sudden pleasure. He took advantage of your shock and kissed your clit before taking it into his mouth to reacquaint it with his tongue. Your finger snaked through his wheaten tresses, gripping them tightly as you held him against your lower lips. Of course just tasting your outer lips wasn’t enough and he slid his tongue past your labia to massage you quivering inner walls. His focus was set entirely on making you squirm and moan with just his warm generous mouth and boy did he.

The sensation of being eaten out by your boyfriend was akin being electrocuted; but in the best way possible. The man knew what he was doing with that mouth and made it abundantly clear he did by drawing delighted sounds of varying pitches from some place deep inside you. 

His name fell from your own mouth like a prayer as you begged him not to stop or to keep pressing his tongue right there.

You were so very close when pulled away leaving only one finale brief kiss on your woman hood.

“Kei NO! Don’t stop now.”

He chuckled and crawled up your body, trailing kisses along your form till he reached your mouth. The musky flavor of your own sex was pressed into your mouth as he kissed you.

“Sorry Dove. As much as I like watching you squirm from my mouth I get a much better view up here.” 

You grumbled as you gazed up at him. He was so handsome in the light that came in from the window. The sun illuminated him, making his hair look golden and his red wings look divine above you as he rested between your thighs, his hardened length mere inches away from being inside you. You just wanted him to make you cum and as grumpy as his edging made you, it was nowhere near as strong as your need to feel him plow you into the bed. Your arms snaked around his shoulders and your fingers found the base of his wings as you pulled him back in for another kiss. “Alright then bird brain. If you intend to fuck me then fuck me.” It was all he needed to hear and one hand slipped down to position himself at your entrance. 

Keigo didn’t have the biggest dick you’d ever seen but the way he felt inside you was enough proof that size wasn’t everything. You’d never been uncomfortable when Keigo was with you. It was however mind numbingly splendid and you let yourself fall into the pleasure he gave you both gladly and wholeheartedly.

He hissed as he pressed into you, wet as you were your inner walls were tight and warm. Keigo took his time pressing his full length inside you. He enjoyed your soft moans and even more the way you body felt against his. You were practically hugging him and the intimacy of the moment stole his breath. He enjoyed joking around with you during sex and making you laugh, he even liked making you scream profanities or his name in the heat of the moment. However these few quiet seconds before he began to rut into you were his favorite. The softness of your warm breath on his shoulder, the small expectant tug at his feathers, the gentleness of your embrace, he really felt that love was what he was creating with you. In this quiet you weren’t just his girlfriend or partner. You were his mate and he loved you. His cheek brushed against yours and you hugged him tighter, ready for his next move which he would give you,however not before he kissed you softly. Just the faintest brush of his lips, so chaste for an act like this. His cheek came back to your shoulder and he felt so whole as his eyes drifted shut and he pulled out and thrust back in. Pleasure shot through you both and lights exploded behind Keigo’s eyes as he heard you gasp his name. Keigo didn’t bother setting a regulated pace, he let his body work with yours and the result was magic. At some point his hands had come to rest on your lower back and shoulder, returning your embrace as he gasped and panted praise into the side of your neck intermittently broken by a kiss to your throat or jaw. He kept hugging you tighter at every possible opportunity, which was often as the gradually increasing strength of his thrusts shifted you in his hold.

You were fucking interplanetary right now. Sex was pretty good, and with Keigo it was great but this, whatever sudden emotional connection the two of you had going on was other worldly. You had no idea what had happened. Cause you assumed that Keigo was going to fuck you, which was what you usually got, but this? No this wasn’t fucking this was love making, and the difference was night and day. You pulled him closer as he loosened another moan with his thrusts. The coil in your stomach was wound so tight you felt like it could snap at any second now. “Keigo~” Your voice sounded so soft and sweet, full of need but not just for the physical release you desired but for him. 

Without saying anything in return your lover shifted his hips, thrusting harder as he brushed against a sweet spot deep inside you. Your body jolted and your vision danced with little stars. 

You think the sudden increase of noise in the room may have been you crying out for your lover not to stop, to cum with you, inside you, but you weren’t entirely sure. You were sure however of the I love you’s and your actual name as Keigo spilled his seed deep inside you.

Your high lasted what felt like hours as you held your winged boyfriend and kissed him. His hands wandered over you as he continued to tell you how much he loved you. You returned his affection in kind. He kissed tears from your cheeks, you hadn’t realized you’d begun to cry. His wings cocooned you away from the rest of the world as you basked in the world’s best afterglow.

Once you came back to your senses you were dumbfounded. Had all that really just happened? “What was that? I thought you said you were gonna fuck me, not make me experience sex pleasures from the nth dimension.” Keigo laughed tiredly. “I have no idea. I was just so in love with you and felt so connected to you.” You nodded. “Yeah me too. It was the best feeling I think I’ve ever experienced. It was just supposed to be a fun internet trend where I walked in front of you naked and then maybe sex but this was unexpected.”

Keigo listened but as he held you he felt so tired. “Mmm let's talk about it later. I’m tired.”

You yawned and agreed. It could wait till after you napped.

(Hope you enjoy) 

[xmr-deity]

I Swear, You Won’t Regret It.

Pairing: Remy x Villain!Male!Reader

Words: 1,949

Universe: The Adventure Zone: Commitment (Post cannon)

Part Two of Chris Rembrandt, What the Fuck?

Warning: Smut included in this chapter! And lot’s of it!

Summary: After the mission, Remy sulks home, only to find a certain villain sneak into the apartment.. feelings and shenanigans ensue.

After their last encounter, (Y/N) had made an embarrassingly quick escape from the three heroes.

“Okay, alright, but hear me out-” Remy said, walking quickly to catch up to a speedwalking Nadiya, “I’m just saying.. We’ve got bigger fish to fry-”

“No. Remy. Just.. just shut up. No more talking.” Nadiya stopped walking for a moment to say that before beginning to speed walk even faster.

“But-“

“No! Remy. I.. just. I can’t even form the words. I’ve heard enough from you today, really.” 

The two were quiet for a bit as Remy did his best to catch up.

“..are you mad at me?” 

“I- yes- no- I don’t know. I don’t know how to feel. Just let me.. process.”

So Remy stopped walking, letting her go. God he felt like a total dumbass. Suddenly a large hand clapped down onto his shoulder, making him jump slightly.

“You fought valiantly. Do not feel bad, Remy.” Kardala said before continuing to walk after Nadiya.

****

Remy slammed the door to his apartment, sighing heavily as he tossed his bag full of hero junk onto the ground, shuffling in towards the kitchen. He shoved a piece of bread into the toaster, his mind churning. He’d gotten so caught up in that damn villain’s lips.. 

He walked out to his dining room as he waited for his toast, but stopped dead in his tracts. (Y/N).. was halfway through his dining room window. He gave him a smile, waving as he pulled himself the rest of the way through. Remy was stunned.

“What.. the fuck are you doing here?!” 

“Hello to you too.” The villain brushed himself off, put before he knew it the hero had jumped forward, grabbing him by the collar and slamming him against the wall.

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing at here, but-” Remy was shocked into silence as (Y/N) put a finger to his lips.

“There’s no game,” he said, and Remy’s brows furrowed.

“..what?” 

“You’re breaking the law too, y’know. You’re hot and cute at the same time which is definitely illegal.” (Y/N) looked down for a moment before looking back up and meeting Remy’s eyes. 

“I like you.” 

(Y/N) moved just a little bit closer, “I, um.. I realized it today when we kissed, y’know.. I thought I was just teasing you but, I think I actually really like you.” 

Remy was speechless for a moment.

“You.. I.. really?” 

“Yeah, I do.” (Y/N) responded, glancing down at Remy’s lips for the briefest of moments.

“I… maybe.. might.. like you too..” Remy responded sheepishly after a moment. (Y/N) smiled, cupping the other male’s jaw in his hand and pulling him close for a kiss. 

Remy felt like he could melt as their lips moved together. He wrapped his arms around (Y/N)’s waist, and (Y/N)’s arms wrapped around his neck. Remy’s hand traveled up the other’s back slowly, eventually tangling into his (h/c) hair. 

The kissing quickly grew more heated, more passionate, Remy’s unresolved frustration melting through. He pushed (Y/N) against the wall again, firmly, a knee pushing between his legs. The two kissed even more passionately, (Y/N)’s hips rocking against the other’s knee, the two battling for dominance, and Remy was able to rather quickly take the lead. 

He pulled back only slightly, trailing his kisses down (Y/N)’s jaw and down his neck. (Y/N)’s hands tangled into Remy’s hair gently, a moan escaping him as Remy sucked softly and pressed his knee against him firmly.

“Oh, fuck, Remy.. R-“ 

(Y/N)’s soft moans were cut off as suddenly the phone in Remy’s pocket started ringing. He fumbled, getting it out- it was Nadiya- so he answered it. 

“H-hey, Nadiya- er..” Remy looked back over at (Y/N) for a second, “yeah, I can talk..” 

A mischievous smile grew on (Y/N)’s lips as Remy began talking with his companion. The villain began sinking to his knees. Remy’s eyes practically bugged out of his head as (Y/N) drug the zipper of his pants down with his teeth, then slid the cloth of his jeans and underwear down, revealing Remy’s erection.

“I-aaahm know. Yeah. Um, I know..” Remy said, doing his best to disguise a moan as (Y/N) licked a stripe up the underside of his member.

(Y/N) smiled, continuing kitten licks up the side of it, listening to the faint murmurs coming from the phone speaker.

“No, you don’t have to apologiiiiaahhnmmh-“ Remy loudly cleared his throat, the villain taking the head into his mouth and sucking.

“You don’t have to apologize. Not necessar- hm- not necessary, dude.” 

“No, yeah, I’m f-f-fine. Yeah.” 

(Y/N) started taking him in deeper, trying to be quiet with his slurping noises as he sucked.

“Um- I- ah- could- could we maybe talk about this another time? No- yeah- I-h-aahm.. I’m kinda ti-tired. Yeah.” 

Remy rested his forearm against the wall to brace himself, looking down at (Y/N) with a blush on his face, watching him start to deepthroat him.

“Oh, you’ve got.. another mission.. briefing.. um, yeah, I’m re-really tired so.. o..kay..” Nadiya started briefing him anyways. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Remy bit the side of his fist, his hips starting to rock, thrusting slowly into (Y/N)’s mouth, the villain gripping his hips gently.

“Godd.. yeah.. that’s cool! I mean!!” Remy tried to stop moving his hips- he was getting too close- but as soon as he stopped (Y/N) started bobbing his head, licking along his member and even gently scraping with his teeth.

“Hng-wow, really? That’s- m-crazy..” Remy was starting to pant, and he had to cover his mouth with his hand.

“Mm..mhm..” he hummed in response, squeezing his eyes shut- (Y/N) looked so fucking hot down there on his knees. He was getting close- really close.

“Ah-I gotta call you back N-Nadiya, I’ve really gotta-aah go. Bye!” He quickly hung up, and immediately started thrusting into (Y/N)’s mouth again, the villain giving a pleased him as he gripped his hair, thrusting even faster.

“Oh, fuck, (Y/N).. that was some.. ah, evil shit.. fuck..” Remy thrusted deeper into his mouth, watching as tears pricked the villain’s eyes and drool came trickling out the sides of his mouth.

“Fuck.. fuck- hah- (Y/N), (Y/N).. mmfuuck..!” Remy thrusted deep and then quickly tried to pull back, the gooey, white fluid landing on his tongue and cheek. (Y/N) looked up, grinning.

“How was that?” 

“So hot..” Remy said, panting. He pulled (Y/N) up by the collar of his shirt, kissing him deeply, tasting himself on his tongue.

He soon pulled away, pulling up his pants and then dragging (Y/N) into his bedroom where he- first, got a tissue and wiped off the villain’s face- and then shoved him down onto the bed, crawling on top of him.

“Now, you’re gonna let me return the favor, right?” Remy said, hands sliding up the other’s shirt. 

“Hell yeah,” (Y/N) responded, feeling butterflies in his stomach. Remy lifted off (Y/N)’s shirt and then his own, then yanked down (Y/N)’s pants and underwear, sliding down between his legs.

(Y/N) was as hard as he had been earlier, and that almost made Remy hard again, just thinking about how much (Y/N) had enjoyed sucking him off. Remy started licking up the other male’s member, suckling on the tip and reveling in (Y/N)’s moans.

Then Remy got an idea.

“Hey, (Y/N).. wanna turn over for me?” He said, pulling back, ignoring the villain’s little whine. (Y/N) nodded, turning over to lay on his stomach. Remy gripped his hips, pulling his lower half up so he was on his knees, his upper half still laying on the bed.

“Fuck.. you’re really hot..” Remy said softly, gripping his ass cheeks and pulling them slowly apart to look at his hole. 

“Mmh- Remy, you- ah~!” (Y/N) started, getting interrupted as the hero dove in, licking around the rim, getting it wet.

“Oh-.. fuck, Remy..” (Y/N) gripped the sheets, the hero pulling back slightly, blowing on his now wet hole, the villain flinching at the sensitivity. 

He leaned back in, his tongue curling more and drawing shapes, before his tongue started dipping in.

“Ah~! Remy.. mmh..” (Y/N) pushed back against his face a little, and Remy lost all control, eating his ass like a starving man.

(Y/N) laid there, suffering in the wonderful pleasure as soon Remy added a finger, pushing it in along with his tongue and searching until he found that spot that made (Y/N) cry out. 

Remy’s finger rubbed it, sitting up straight as he started to carefully add another finger, starting to stretch him about a bit.

“Does it feel good, (Y/N)?” He asked softly, his voice deeper than usual. 

“Y-yeah, yeah it feels- ah, ngh.. good, so good.. more.. please..” he panted, rocking back against his fingers. Remy let out a pleased hum, reaching his other hand around to grip (Y/N)’s member, starting to stroke in time with his fingers thrusts. 

“Oh- god, fuck..” (Y/N) gasped, heat building up in his core.

“Remy- please-ah, fuck, like that.. mmh..” (Y/N)’s legs were trembling, and had the hero not been holding him up he definitely would have fallen onto his face. Remy’s fingers and hand soon began speeding up, and he added another finger, pushing them in deeper, abusing the villain’s prostate.

“Hah- ah- hnn-fuck~! Remy~!” (Y/N) cried out, cumming all over the hero’s hand and his bedsheets. 

Remy let him have a moment, the other male panting heavily. He got up, cleaning off his hand before helping (Y/N) off the bed so he could take the cover off, then let (Y/N) lay back down. Remy grabbed a different blanket- he could wash his quilt later- and laid down with the villain, cuddling up behind him.

They were quiet for a bit before (Y/N) spoke.

“So, like.. does this mean.. we’re together?” He asked, turning to look at Remy.

“I mean.. I’d like it to.. but I don’t know if I’d be allowed to date, y’know, a “villain.”” He responded, “but- hey, I know that.. you used to be part of the Fellowship.. why’d you leave?” 

(Y/N) was quiet for a moment.

“It’s just.. Dick was such.. a dick. He was so greedy, too. He kept all the money to himself when he should’ve been helping the other departments, and even donating to charities and stuff. He was stinking rich but hogged it all. I don’t even know if he payed taxes! It was stupid, so I started stealing to give to the people that he wouldn’t give to..” (Y/N) explained.

“Oh!” Remy sat up, “well, like, we got rid of him! There’s this super cool girl that we saved- Mary- and now she’s in charge and I think she’s way better, so like..” 

Remy looked into (Y/N)’s eyes, “what if you came back?”

(Y/N)’s eyes widened.

“Remy- I don’t know if-“

“Just hear me out though, I bet they’d understand- I could get you in, I’m sure!” He said. (Y/N) was speechless for a moment before he let out a soft laugh.

“Alright, alright.. I’ll give the fellowship another try.. but no promises.” (Y/N) said finally, and Remy’s eyes lit up. He cupped (Y/N)’s cheeks in his hands, pulling him in and kissing him deeply.

“I swear, you won’t regret it.”

[zmediaoutlet]

//crashes through wall// mid-coffee bj in the bunker OR frottage (anywhere, anytime) OR plug + FBI suits OR 'Sam wants to wear a blindfold and Dean is kinda unsure'

(read on AO3)

Itwasn’t so much a problem getting Dean to go to a strip club. He’s usually goodto go as soon as the promise of cheap drinks and smiling women are on thehorizon, and really, Sam has never minded that. Well—okay, he doesn’t mindit now. It’s been a hard few weeks, a hard month. What monthisn’t, really. Now, though, with how hard Dean’s been taking everything, Samjust wants—

“Are youkidding me,” Dean says, eyes bright in the wash of neon lights. Sam shrugs,keeping his smile tucked into the corner of his mouth. “Sammy, areyou kidding me,” he says again, delight all through his voice,and he pushes open the ridiculous pleather doors and—yes, Sam looked on thewebsite ahead of time, and it is indeed Cowgirl Night at Cherry’s. Hefollows Dean into the dim interior, already rolling his eyes at the terriblepop country song that’s playing, but there’s a girl down to her assless chapsand a fringed bra on stage, bouncing around as someone urges her to save ahorse.

The guy at thedoor looks at their suits and waves them in and Dean makes a beeline for abooth, about halfway between the stage and the bar. Sam sits carefully on theother side of the table, content to look for now. The hunt wasn’t too bad andthey’re not going to drive back home to the bunker until the morning, so this—thisshould be good. A girl wearing a cowboy hat and not much else comes smiling upto the table and Dean gives her his biggest grin and says, “Howdy, ma’am,mighty fine place you got here,” and Sam just leans back into the booth andresigns himself to an evening of Dean’s charm.

The beer’scheap and the girls are—well, young, but they’re beautiful, too,and more importantly Dean’s smiling. He applauds when one of the girls finishesher dance, and cheerfully tucks a five into the sparkly western-themed bra ontheir waitress when she brings them a new round of drinks. One girl who can’tbe more than five feet trots over and offers both of them lapdances, and Samraises his eyebrows at Dean. He’ll do it, if Dean wants. Dean only laughs,though, and says, “Sorry, darlin’, you’ll have to ride some other cowboy,”but he sends her on her way with a twenty and she’s smiling genuinely when sheleaves. “Sam,” Dean says, watching her ass bounce away in its frame of pinkleather chaps, “this is the best idea you’ve ever had.”

“Yeah?” Samsays, and Dean turns his eyes fully on Sam’s. He’s flushed, his tie undone andhis eyes dark and dancing.

“Yeah,” Deansays, and clinks his bottle against Sam’s. Sam takes a swallow, and watches Deanwatch him, and smiles, thinking that Dean hasn’t seen anything yet.

The bathroom’sdim, kind of filthy. It has locks on both sides, but Sam knows his way around asimple deadbolt and jams his pick in deep enough that the pins won’t catch ifsomeone tries to unlock it. Dean’s tipsy at his back, laughing,saying, “Sammy, Sammy,” and Sam turns around and gathers his face in bothhands and kisses his grinning mouth, licking in and tasting beer, overlaid withthat sugary pink thing that the bartender had sent over, somewhere in themiddle of the dance that sent them in here. Dean leans into it, groans, hishands wrapping into the lapels of Sam’s jacket.

“You hard?” Samsays, pulling back for a second, and slides one hand down. “Oh, look atthat,” he says, mildly, and Dean groans and pushes into it, the line of himstraining against Sam’s palm through the fine material of his slacks. God, helooks good like this—flushed and ready and happy, half-undonealready in his suit. Sam walks him backward, kissing his temple and his cheekand his jaw while Dean breathes hard against his ear, until his ass fetches upagainst the cheap pedestal sink.

“There is noway in hell,” Dean starts—and interrupts himself with another groan when Sampalms again at the bulge of his dick and then starts undoing hisbelt. “Sam, you are not fucking me over a sink in a strip club.”

Sam smiles downat him, shrugging. “Wasn’t planning on it,” he says, and Dean looks downbetween them and then up at Sam again, eyebrows raised. The music changes, andSam tugs Dean’s belt open and then the slick button on the slacks, and tugsDean’s shirt out of the way, and then goes down to his knees in one move,ignoring the grit and nastiness of the floor in order to watch Dean’s mouthpart with surprise, the deep breath he takes. Sam leans in and kisses the softplace under Dean’s belly button, just above where the line of his boxer-briefscuts into his skin, and watches Dean’s hands curl tight over the lip of thesink out of the corner of his eye. “Can you be quiet?” Sam says, looking upagain.

Dean blinks athim, already breathing open-mouthed and heavy. “Don’t think I really needto, Sammy,” he says, and yeah, the music’s loud even in here, bass-heavy andtrembling the cheap lights.

“Well, try,”Sam says, and Dean rolls his eyes, and then Sam tugs his zip down and pullsdown his briefs and there’s his dick, full and heavy and straining after anight of watching girls he’ll never fuck, and Sam ducks his head and lips asoft kiss against the base, his mouth already wet and full in anticipation, andthen opens his mouth and sinks down on it, wide-open and eager.

“Oh, christalive,” Dean says, shocked like it’s something new, and then laughsbreathlessly. Sam closes his eyes, tries not to smile. He draws up slow, bobsdown again slower, savors the thickness of it. Dean’s not as big as him, butthat doesn’t matter—he loves it. Loves the weight, the shape, the perfect ridgeof the head he can lip over, the tender give of the crown that never stopsbeing soft, not even when Dean’s this hard. He tongues idly against the headfor a moment, just appreciating, and then screws down all the way to the base,ignores the threatening pressure at the back of his throat for the way Deangasps, one hand appearing at the back of Sam’s head and fisting into his hair,tugging. Another benefit, to be able to do this. Sam holds there, just for aminute, just to hear Dean say—”Oh my god, Sammy, your mouth, whatthe fuck,” and then he pulls back, gasping, to smile up into Dean’s face.

“Yeah, be moresmug,” Dean says, but he’s breathing hard and so it doesn’t really come off theway he thinks it does. He tucks Sam’s hair behind his ear while Sam fists thewet length of him, slowly, blinking the slight tears out of his eyes. Dean getsso slick, right away. He settles more comfortably on his knees, leans in andlicks a flat swipe over the head, and smiles again at Dean’s whole-bodyshiver. “Are you, like, deliberately messing with me,” Dean says, and ashe does there’s a rattle at the door, someone trying the handle. 

“Hey,” a guysays, muffled under the music, “stop jerkin’ off in there, I gotta piss,”and Sam snorts, has to bury his face against Dean’s hip to muffle it.

“Oh my god,”Dean whispers, “this was your idea, say something,” and Sam kisses theside of his dick and whispers back, “you say something, you’re the onegetting a happy ending,” and Dean says, “I hate you,” in a fiercerwhisper, and Sam smacks his belly with his free hand and says, then,loud, “Sorry, buddy, I—uh, I had bad shrimp, I’m puking in here,” and Deansays oh my god again, both hands covering his face, butapparently that works because the guy says, “Oh, nasty, why would you eatanything from a strip club buffet, dude!” and Sam slips his slick fingers downto Dean’s balls where they’re still half-trapped inside his briefs andhalf-shouts, “I know, I’m an idiot, it’s just—it’s gonna be a minute,”while Dean spreads his legs wider and gasps above his head, and the guysays, “Nasty,” again, like he’s disappointed, and Sam shrugs at Dean’sincredulous look and goes right back down, his free arm wrapped around Dean’slower back to hitch him closer, lips and tongue working, long sucks as he pullsup. Dean groans, his hips jerking into Sam’s mouth, and Sam goes with it,capably. This isn’t even the nastiest place they’ve done this, thoughadmittedly it’s been a while since Sam was on his knees on the hard ground. Hejust—he loves getting Dean like this, sex-drunk and glowing,groaning his name, the way he shudders and moans, all his worries falling away.Dean’s thighs are starting to tremble, his hips rocking in tight little motionsagainst Sam’s working mouth, and Sam breathes in deep through his nose andsucks harder, lets his tongue slip-slide over the underside as he goes backdown, and Dean puts both hands in his hair, slides his hands through it andgets a double grip at the back of his skull, pulling just enough that itprickles all the way down Sam’s back.

“Sammy,” Deanwhispers, and Sam pulls off his dick, gasping, and says soft into the dark warmspace between them, “Dean, I gotta tell you something,” and shifts hisweight on his knees again, groans. Oh, god, he’s hard—he’d been able to put itout of his mind, but the pulse of it is thick between his legs and for a secondhe doesn’t want anything but to flip Dean around against the sink and fuck him,watching his face in the mirror, protest be damned. But Dean’s leaking into hishand, and he wants— “I had a plan,” he says, “I wanted to give yousomething,” and when he looks up Dean’s watching him, face pink and his mouthbitten to red. Sam suckles once more against the pretty head of Dean’s dick,lets the salt of it fill up his mouth, and then he puts his hands on the sinkon either side of Dean’s hips and gets to his feet, knees cracking, and theshift as he stands is so intense that he groans, hips flinching forward intoDean’s.

“Sam,” Deansays, hands sliding over Sam’s shoulders, down his chest, and Sam leans in andknocks Dean’s mouth open, kisses him wide and open, lets Dean taste himself. Heunbuckles his own belt, Dean’s dick brushing against the back of his hands, andthen grabs one of Dean’s hands and pulls back from his mouth and watches hiseyes while he pushes Dean’s hand around his hip, under the waistband of hisbriefs, down and down until he can feel Dean’s fingers brush the plug. Deanfrowns, for a second, and then his eyes go wide and his expression almostblank, and Sam lets his grip on Dean’s hand loosen. He leans forward a little,free hand braced against the sink, and their faces are close together, they’re breathingthe same air, while Dean’s fingers slip around the lube-wet base of the thing,while he circles the silicone where it’s breaking Sam’s body open.

“What,” Deansays, blinking, and looking up into Sam’s eyes. His cheeks are brick-red, hisears and throat flushed dark. 

“If you want,”Sam says, and has to clear his throat. Dean presses his fingers flat againstthe plug and Sam closes his eyes, just for a second. It’s not—it’s not that hedoesn’t like it at all, but it’s usually not something he goes for, and thepressure is amazing even with this small thing, barely three inches, justsomething to hold him open, to make it easier if Dean wanted to—if he decidedto— “You want to fuck me, Dean?” he says, opening his eyes, and Dean leansup and crushes their mouths together, his arms wrapping around Sam’s neck, andSam grabs him by the waist and pushes his still-covered dick against Dean’sbare slick one, knows his slacks are getting stained and disgusting but itdoesn’t matter, not with the way Dean’s shaking in his arms.

“You—” Deansays, against Sam’s mouth, and then he breathes something, so quiet Sam can’thear it over his own breath and the thumping music, but he slips his hand downand closes it over Dean’s dick, jerks him long and slow all the way from rootto head, and Dean jerks in his arms and says, breathless, “I’m gonna come,Sam, I’m—” and Sam turns him around and crushes him in against the sink,says, “Come on, let me see,” into his hair, and in the mirror Dean’sbeautiful, suit wrecked, his face glowing pink and sweat gleaming at histhroat, lips as dark as his dick where Sam’s fisting it, quick and hard, andhis eyes are open and fixed on Sam’s in the mirror, right up until he has tosqueeze them closed and he arches his back, ass grinding back into Sam’s crotchright before he shoots, dirtying up the sink, groaning out so loud that someoneoutside the door really could hear them. Sam wraps his other arm around Dean’schest, works him softly, letting Dean shudder in the cage of his body, his lipspressed against the tender space under his ear, the one that only Sam touches.

Dean reachesdown and stills Sam’s hand, after a minute, and lays his other hand over Sam’sarm, circles his fingers around Sam’s wrist. It takes a minute for his eyes toopen, but when they do they find Sam’s, right away.

“You’re amenace,” Dean says, after a few seconds.

Sam shrugs. Helets his thumb stroke at the root of Dean’s dick, in the damp short hair, andDean bites his lip. God. Dean says enough when Sam’s mouth is on him that Samknows he doesn’t exactly dislike it, but Dean—he’s got no idea of his ownappeal, and that’s saying something for one of the most sexually smug peopleSam’s ever met. “What do you think?” Sam says. He’s—god, his dick’s almostpainful, and he feels—wetter, somehow, more open, just from Dean touching him.The plug’s unignorable now.

Dean takes adeep breath. “You’re gonna help me clean up, Sexzilla,” he says, “andthen we’re going to figure out a way to leave this place so we don’t get arrested,and then I’m gonna drive back to the motel.”

Sam lets go ofDean’s dick and turns his chin, carefully with his slick soiled hand, andkisses him, gentle and shallow. When he pulls back, Dean’s face is soft, open,his eyes heavy-lidded. “Then what,” Sam says.

“That’s for meto know, Agent Rose,” Dean says, turning in Sam’s arms and putting a soft handto his jaw, his smile relaxed and full of promise, “and for you to findout.”

[monkey-network]

I feel that media trying to be "mature" is only in a sense of this one joke I remember where a bunch of toys get zapped into becoming school supplies. Maturity feels empty when it shouldn't be like that, especially when Mother Earth doesn't give 2 shits about humanity.

We can't have a Superman that's chill and optimistic, continuously retaining a grasp on his responsibilities as a hero. We have our Supes constantly be reminded of how important he is with that innocence of his feels walled away. Can't have the Fantastic Four be a lovable family that strives to move forward regardless of their newfound conditions. They have to be this serious about the science behind their powers, no room to just... be superheroes. Can't have Teen Titans be fun adventures with a team of skilled to supernatural adolescents, we gotta make everything blue, have the team begrudgingly be a team, and have such an edge that I cut myself typing this. Can't have Batwoman be a savvy alternative to Batman that became a hero for the sake of direction and passionate heroism, we gotta center our show around a massive cunt chip that is only "mature" because she struggles to make the fucking easiest decisions like locking up a fucking criminal. We can't embrace the 'comic' element of a comic book, we gotta imitate Watchmen except strip away the core satirical element of it.

When I think of genuine maturity, and I hate bringing him up again, I think of GTO and how its MC has the balls to be himself, goofy & horny as he can be, but goes to great lengths to be there for those in need. Dude has more of a damn soul than most who want a "mature" or “realistic” direction of anything.

Adults must spoonfeed grudgy shit to sweep the idea that people in tight, brightly colored costumes isn't good or ideal to grow up with; suckling on realism making for better when it doesn't. At best, it dampens your worthlessness, appealing to faux-nihilist philosophy & the like. Reality can fucking suck & most of you, myself included, don't really help fixing that problem outside the desire of destroying it all to rebuild it anew, even when most you don't have or genuinely think of a buttfucking clue on how society works. That's what these "mature" takes, revamps remind me of & it's annoying.

It's annoying sometimes that realism in fiction reduces what I enjoyed about an idea in the 1st place in favor of thinking  this is what an adult should appreciate when adults can't even fuck an economy into shape, treating colorful, lively escapism like they’re the goddamn cooties.