#i gotta remember all this brain stuff
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gang this is just one of the 30 flash cards for psychology ive gotta remember... my mock is tomorrow...
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Sinners as programs:
Yi Sang – Cortana/Siri/similar “AI”-that-follows-specific-rules programs. I don’t think poetry generators exist.
Faust – Any calculator game. Look. I love girlfail Faust as much as the next person, but she would be a calculator.
Don Quixote – Shimeji. Ok that’s the post.
Ryoshu – Either comedic malware like Reisenware, actual malware, or mspaint.
Meursault – Windows explorer/non-windows equivalent. He is your file explorer.
Hong Lu – Any digital pet, OR he is a collection of PNGs kept solely on your second monitor for a digital pet rock. I don’t know how to explain this one.
Heathcliff – It’d be far too easy (and a misinterpretation) to go with the malware route. Heathcliff has game engine energy and I am specifically referring to Ren’Py. he’s a Visual Novel engine.
Ishmael – Ishmael is specifically placid plastic duck simulator. No, but actually, Ishmael is any casual game like stardew valley or minecraft. she is never subnautica.
Rodya – Rodya is one of those email websites that boomers adore ❤️ /pos
Sinclair – Sinclair is a book library, like a kindle fire type thing.
Dante – Too easy to say a clock. Dante is an emulator.
Outis – Too easy to say a Trojan virus. She’s honestly a scheduling app.
Gregor – Again, far too easy to say malware (because bugs, get it? I’ll see myself out). He’s notepad.
Bonus:
Charon – An email that glitched out and was sent in like 1786 or whatever the earliest year a computer can claim
Vergilius – Far too easy to say tasque task manager. He’s an antivirus. Scares the viruses into not doing that shit.
Erlking(?) Heathcliff – Yeah he’s malware. He infects your computer, and spreads to other computers.
#Apparently Charon is an adult due to lore stuff. I refuse to believe this girl is anything older than specifically 14.#not saying she’s “minor coded” but Charon is a child to me. idk if I’m just not understanding her character correctly#but to me she reads as a kid#<- for reference ironically I remember an early limbus drama of people who had Don as a waifu since people thought she was underage.#and like. ironic ***now*** but to be fair I do understand it. but also consider: girls just got the tism (I do too)#evora original#limbus stuff#canto 6 spoilers#literally only exists bc I was gonna make a joke that Don is a shimeji innately but my brain went “do all of them!!” so now I gotta#limbus company#yi sang#Yi sang lcb#faust lcb#don quixote lcb#ryoshu lcb#meursault lcb#hong lu lcb#hong lu#Heathcliff lcb#ishmael lcb#rodya lcb#rodion lcb#sinclair lcb#emil sinclair#emil sinclair lcb#dante lcb#outis lcb#gregor lcb#charon lcb#vergilius lcb
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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hi! birthday. which means it's finally time t
yo what the itch store is fixed up now
damn what? I don't know where this came from. look all the comics I put on g*mr**d a year ago are back here again with all the formatting and typesetting by @fireflysummers as well as the exclusive bonus art wtf who did this. my werewolf comic on here too what the hells!! that one also got re-toned for printing if u want to AND an exclusive cover spread !!! what the fuck!!!!! come see for urself I can't make this shit up
#bakuspecial#comic#itch.io#bakugoods#<- made up a tag for when I sell things that aren't commissions just now#for folks who still remember me talking abt a physical run of these comics: I'm so sorry this year and the last have been brutal#and I live in a well and suffer a curse of international mails never going well. so the logistics became Very complicated#I still think abt it tho! I've prepped up all the assets just bc I thought abt it so much... we picked out a gift print for the orders#And a bonus print for the pack#but I couldn't gather my brain enough to make it happen. yet#it takes a bit of overhead so I gotta build that up. which is. right now talk for after the shit that just happened to me got smoothed out#but I do want it to happen. I've been sitting on this exclusive custom print for like two years now#I really love that drawing its so cute. I still hold that project close to my heart#anyways uhh itch store! happy birthday to me!#last year this time was so rough I didn't even Want to think about my birthday lol#strangely enough with this small little fragmentation grenade we just got I became more motivated to fuck around on my bday lmao#probably out of spite. hammer philosophy#my parents love making a whole thing out of me and the brother's bdays lol so dinner's gonna be something#but for now I can still chill. and prep up stuff. and do my thang#if u look thru the itch store and get something from there thank u so much! I hope the comics treat u well#and now. I make hot drink. have a good day lads! do a little jig for us let's go
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And YET AGAIN for the umpteenth shift in a row I'm with the kid I struggle the most with
Is it any wonder I'm exhausted and dreading work all the time
#doesnt help my eating is fucked again#im remembering to have one meal a day at least#sometimes 2 but usually then its one actual meal and something snacky#i just. dont have any spare brain power to organise and prepare things AND clean AND work AND plan xmas stuff AND think abt family/social#and dont have spare money to get takeout so!#i am at all times existing in seventeen different chokeholds#and its still somehow more managable than before bc at least im actually accomplishing things#it just feels syssyphean#hnngnngngng at least i think i only have another week and a bit before my rota changes#except then i actually gotta get the second job nailed down fully
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it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time
I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world
And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with
#N posts stuff#one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety#now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body#but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself#like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao#bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something'#like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with#is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again#and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than#'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it#which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that#so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :)#if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively#like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away.#and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered#like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?'#dimension 20#d20: stupendous stoats#tula#d20lb
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:|
#up at 4 for no reason lollolololllllll#and my brain has decided to fixate on glowstick club show the moment of like#delaying our show start time and waiting to hear from someone abt if we could start#so i could tell our members when we were starting#and i have thought abt this show sm but i haven’t thought abt that moment lmfao ??????#why am i suddenly only thinking abt that#and also thinking abt the stage manager bc i don’t think we were great w her 😭😭😭#not that we were rude or bad or anything but just personally i feel like i was thinking abt a lot of stuff#ig probably understandably but after the show ppl said the stage manager was frustrated or like#wished we were more communicative#which also lowkey wasn’t my job necessarily bc we have a logistics chair for that#but she was working w the lighting person and lemme not start thinking abt that too bc illl also start feeling bad abt that LMAO#bro like the show was great why am i like brain pooping all over it rn#like tiny little moments that probably no one remembers lol#but aso i need to actually send a msg related to this show that i’ve been procrastinating to shit#abt videos from our show that still haven’t been uploaded that i put audio on and uploaded to drive#overthinking it bc i am not in like a pleadership position anymore so#what am i doing asking them if we can upload these vids soon LOL#but also i asked over a week ago and was ghosted 😭😭😭#so i rly gotta follow up lol ANYWAY#can i pls finish this bedtime fic and have my brain shut up and sleep lol#but also i just don’t want to sleep c:#jeanne talks
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Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them
Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening
It's all I really ask
#I forgot what this was about part way through writing about it; but then I remembered it's about Ukraine#like I just need to know that you actually understand what's happening there and what people are going through#you want me to care about your thing? show me you have any any any grasp of what's going on in Ukraine#it's uh... it's too many friends where if I'm just honest... this is about them#people I adore but people where... I don't know if they ever even once listen to what I have to say#...though maybe it's better this way... at least if they just ignore me I can say they just don't understand what's going on#that they're just being fed lines by other people or don't care#...if... they... knew the shit Ukrainians go through and still didn't care... would be a lot harder to respect them#would take a certain level of callous to do that and... these are people I care about very much so#...but I don't know; eats at me... you know#...and even on less serious topics... boy I wish you'd ever listen to me#if it weren't for the fact you say you like me... I'd be pretty damn sure you can't fucking stand me and I do nothing but annoy you#...I don't know if you've... ever... listened to anything I've said on any subject#when you do; you usually correct me... even though; brilliant as you are... you're erm... not always right#I don't get it... I don't get you... every word I say seems to be wrong... I'm so stupid and you're so smart#and yet you get real upset when I want to die... so you must actually like me and our communication styles don't match up#thank god you never seem to read my tags... or... much of anything else I say#truthfully I'd follow you anywhere; and you can treat me any way you want#but man I don't think my thoughts or opinions matter to you even a little... I think I just exist to be your rubber duck#...that's how it feels anyway#but all that aside... just wish you'd listen to me on Ukraine cause it actually matters#this post started out about some other people too... and sure... I like them well enough; and they're maddeningly wrong#like sputnik levels or wrong#drives me nuts; like you're not stupid and you're not cruel so why do you act so stupid and cruel?... turn you brain on#but uh... I actually just don't care about them that much#where as you... I could put it into words... but I won't#it's just a shame... like forget any of the stuff about me; it's just you're so kind... wish you'd care about what's going on in Ukraine#...I gotta stop or I'll go on all night; and I'm already too tired#mm tag so i can find things later
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srry homie for what im boutta do
for the au[other colors] i thought it would be cool to have klugs parents show up for a couple scenes, but for the timeline of the major events i needed them GONE and UNRESPONSIVE.
hes smart so i think, even at a young age, he gets that they're busy with work and all, and he's not alone per say- his friends and teachers and everyone in primp would definitely look out for him, but ive just been thinking. because like, i thought itd be cool if it was almost like strange also helped raise klug. as a (malicious) mentor of sorts. after they made truce (that they both keep breaking)
i imagine klugs parents are probably good people, but are horrible as parents. like they just keep doing their own thing and just let the village raise him.
but then that got me thinking, in this setting, do you think he would unknowingly (or maybe knowingly but trying not to think about it) resent them for not being there for him growing up?
#click for some deranged ramblings below with almost zero context#its other colors tadaaaa-*.#like klugs mom is awesome dark wizard but is too busy doing deep dungeon dives for months at a time to be home#shes a field scholar if you will#and klugs dad is very awesome sought out healer or whatever that also does dungeon runs. but he also does traveling healer stuff#i also thought itd be cool if they were divorced but on good terms and klug's primary guardian is supposed to be his mom#hence the looking up to her lots#oh i think#im pretty sure i got the jobs idea from someones headcanon years ago#im like 95% sure thats not a me idea#not my original idea <_<#hold#hold on now i gotta find it#edit: i found it!!!!! from minun @/marisexmas from way back when!!#anyway!! yea#ive been thinking about this because i was thinking of a scene before bed where klugs dad came back home like 6 months ***after***#klug had left the hospital. and then duh duh; plot plot#klug sees his dad packing again one night (its been a week max) to leave and he went “your leaving...?”#and the “already..?” goes unsaid but its clear from the tone and his dads like yeah they need me back at [hospital some countries away]#and he's all “okay klug remember to rest some your not looking to good still” and he just leaves#but the only reason his dad came in the first place was because his mom couldnt since she was balls deep in some dungeon#in the buttfukc of who knows where#but it#the accident was MONTHS AGO so the cruel part of klugs brain is all#damn what if i died?? would it have taken months for yall to show up#then too; if you even come????#and i woke up instantly to Write That Shit Down#((ngl mostly because the scene in my head was *chefs kiss* artstyle wise i mean. the colors were nice))#anyway this started because i wanted klug to battle strange and red ami but for serious reasons and then i backtracked just a bit#other colors
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don’t know how 2 say “if I unfollow u as a mutual I promise it’s nothing personal” without just saying it but like. If u primarily rb unrelated stuff frum art I might unfollow from time 2 time (esp if it’s a lot of discourse related stuff) bc I’m becoming increasingly aware of how bad I am at monitoring and filtering my own racing thoughts when it comes to viewing an excessive amount of discourse posts. I will still check in and rb and probably even refollow once I get my brain set back on track but yah. If this means anything
#I was on a rly good streak for a while where I had my online vibe curated rly well and now it’s all strange again and I’m aughhhh aughh!#it’s nothing personal to anyone I follow mutual or otherwise I genuinely have really poor control over racing thoughts and stuff.#this obviously excludes the important current events going on I’m talking abt just. More general stuff.#that rly only applies to me specifically.#I just wish that there were easier ways to go about interacting w my online friends bc auuu auuuu I don’t wanna “break the mutual”#I don’t want ppl to think I don’t like interacting or seeing their stuff all the time#but when it’s like a 9:1 media criticism / queer discourse to art ratio#even when it’s like! stuff I agree about! Eventually it just makes my brain spin like a top .#AUGH.#text posts :0]#ramgling sorry I just got a sudden Very fucking bad stint of anxiety and am realizing I gotta remember what made being online Enjoyable#If I’m going to Keep being here
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(random words bolded for ease of reading)
the best protip i could ever give to fellow adhders (but also applies to everyone) is to always keep an eye out in conversation for people who start to say something then get talked over, and once the current conversation thread ends, swing back around to them and go "what were you about to say?"
benefits:
- that person knows they were heard and feels validated and supported
- the person who interrupted them realizes they did so in a way that doesn't publically call them out, allowing them to process it on their own without shame clogging the pipes
- you yourself are less likely to interrupt others, and the times you do are more likely to be easily forgiven bc the other person knows it wasnt because you thought what you had to say was more important, but just because Mouth Move Faster Than Brain Sometimes
- there's automatically a new topic of conversation waiting in reserve
- professional environments see this as "attention to detail" and "mindfulness" and "teambuilding skills"
- helps combat subconscious bigotries/power dynamics that lead to certain people getting talked over more than others (eg misogyny/racism/homophobia/transphobia/etc)
- ^ again may help you be more mindful of those patterns in yourself and work to unlearn them
- people who like you will want to emulate the behaviors of yours they see as good
- i know people will say "create a positive space around yourself and itll domino effect" all the time and it sounds like wishy washy hippie bullshit but genuinely i cannot emphasize enough that it really does work
- like ive watched it happen in real time, i don't think i have a single friend now that hasn't picked this up from me because They Like When I Do It, It Makes Them Feel Good
- nobody likes being interrupted and everybody gets interrupted All The Goddamn Time. like i need to really drive it home that im not exaggerting when i say you'll be a sorely needed reprieve if you make an effort to do this
- and they really will start doing it in return, likely without you even having to ask if that stresses you out
- it's a small and easy way to make the world a bit kinder for everyone
- godspeed my beloveds~
#actually adhd#adhd#origibberish#long post#/long post#and dont worry if it takes a while for you to get good at it like.#even if you only notice once every few weeks at the start thats still better than nothing#because every single time you do notice makes it easier to pick it up the next time#when i was in physical therapy my therapist asked if i had been doing my massages in the shower#and i said ''no but the last two showers i have gotten out of and immediately gone 'AW FUCK' so progress''#and she was like !!!! hell yeah thats progress!#because it is! remembering i forgot after and going aw fuck literally is progress!#because once that happens enough times itll eventually get to the point you cant not remember beforehand because that just#Becomes your association with it#and it worked! the next shower i remembered to grab my stuff beforehand and do the massage!#when youre trying to develop a new habit you have to remember that forgetting and then remembering it too late is progress.#because it means youre noticing it happening in the first place#its not just sailing right by with nary a clue#you just gotta build up the right muscles over time to let you notice it more often! and that includes rewarding yourself when you#make progress#and adhd = brains reward centers broke so you gotta do it yourself. hype yourself up like a puppy that just did a trick#like unironically be like 'eyyyy good job lets go boyss we got this hell yeah gg ez clap' or w/e and get a lil treat#even if its just like. a handful of dry cereal#protip winco has cookie bites in massive bags for pretty cheap and you can just. out a bunch in a ziploc bag and carry it around.#and just have tiny cookies on hand literally all the time#anyways yeah try to watch out for interrupting and people will like you more. cookies. 👍
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what do you mean creating a spreadsheet to track minor, very forgettable details of my immense au cast is insane and probably a waste of my time? my brain needs something to do!!!
#sometimes you just gotta plot data amirite#but no seriously i wanted a much better way to track stuff like mentors and apprentices and deaths and all that#i try to be a consistent as possible!!! its actually getting very hard to remember minute details!!!!#also i like inputting data it pleases my brain
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love my social worker he's so sweet and i love my mentor/guide/one day i'll find a fitting english word for what her role is too. last time i met the former he said they talked abt the thing i'm starting this thursday and said "while it feels like these circumstances may be impossible for you, logically speaking you shouldn't succeed there, yet both of us are certain you will" which is very nice but also AAAAAAAAAAAAA
#they're right like these ARE p much impossible circumstances for me#but i do think they think too highly of me and i'm definitely gonna disappoint them 🥲#this was both assuring yet. like. pressuring. if that's the right word idk#ik there's the whole. 'what if i fail' 'but what if you don't' back and forth but genuinely. realistically speaking. i most likely will#i have never been able to maintain those daily structure stuff like school for example#and while i do hope that since this is only 4 short days a week (with a break in between 2 and 2) and smth i like doing -#- then i'll have an easier time. but. it's still gonna be so hard.#there's a reason i don't go out or wake up early ughhhhh it's bc i hate doing it. idk if theater would be enough to make up for that#and what if i don't like the people what if i don't get along with the directors what if i struggle with remembering lines or physicality#which will make it all so much harder and make the part i'm supposed to love unpleasant as well#what would i do then 🥲#. why am i anxious about this rn. i have a tough day ahead of me for a different reason i should probably focus on first ��#vent#sorryyyyyyy it's 1 am and i need to clear my brain out it seems#also maybe i want. advice. or encouragement. idek what i want. here. i don't wanna have to worry abt this but that's impossible ofc#(my mom told me today that she wants to tell me there's nothing to stress about but she knows that'll just be incorrect 😭 and she's right)#(dw she meant it nicely and gently as in she knew i'd just get mad at her for saying it lol. and i mean. again. gotta be realistic)
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I get two fucking sentences in on every new draft for every new idea lately, and then my brain goes 'hm, no, actually that's stupid/boring/cloying/not going to be something you can write at your current ability'
I am. vibrating with rage at my brain rn over this bout of writer's block. Bro we literally want to die whenever I go longer than like. a fucking week without writing SOMETHING; why the fuck are you making this harder!!!!!! Just let me write a full fucking thing even if it sucks!!! but i literally physically start to feel sick and can't push myself to keep typing as soon as the above thoughts hit. I have a stupid number of untitled, barely started to almost completely done drafts, for multiple fandoms (mostly our flag tho admittedly lmao), all of which have been started within the last maybe fourteen days.
i wanna scratch my brain out of my fucking skull lmao. free to a good home after i get it out, if anyone else wants to try and rehabilitate it
#text post#everyone tells me i should be grateful that writing comes to me naturally and I am! but also sometimes it does This to me#and the longer it goes on the worse it gets#and affects the rest of my mental health on top of it all#brain pls some of these ideas are cute!!! fun even!!! others are gonna be heavier pieces but they might turn out okay!!#but we don't know if they'll turn out okay or not IF WE DON'T FUCKING FINISH THEM#god. sorry y'all just. pls know if ur waiting on me to finish something in progress ive posted or want to see something new from me#and are upset abt the current lack of stuff. i am also upset abt it and i am working on it i swear#also i need to address this bc im running out of storage space on gdocs with all of these#so they gotta either be written and posted or given up on and deleted for space fdlkafjlasdjf#it's nearly one thirty in the morning. i should probably just go shower#aka the place where my brain immediately gives me perfect fucking dialogue like last night THAT I FUCKIN FORGET BEFORE I CAN WRITE IT DOWN#it's fine. it was some of the best dialogue and most in character i felt id ever thought of. and i can't remember it and it's gone forever.#it's fine
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DANCE
DANCE
REVOLUTION
Yes his name is Dance Dance Revolution. DDR/DD/Danny for short. He could be my g.uilty g.ear insert but I'll never tell. Alt versions of the image are under the read more.
#eyestrain tw#just in case#now all I gotta do is give him a coherent backstory!!!#ive been watching and rewatching lore videos and stuff but my mind does not want ti retain the info#I will tho. force my brain to remember. I'm this close to starting to take actual notes#woob words#my art#Danny#<- his tag#no id
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You don't know how much it annoys me that you can just build a hoverbike and speedrun the fire temple in totk like that. Like, it just completely ruins the dungeon.
"well you don't have to do it this way if you don't want to"
Imagine you baked a cake and gave it to someone but they only ate the cherry on top and left everything else to rot.
Wouldn't you be mad at it? Wouldn't you feel like all the effort and time you worked on it was wasted at this point??
Not trying to defend the totk temples as a whole but this "creative freedom" ruins the challenge and difficulty of the game by A LOT.
#dragon's stupid thoughts#remember this other post where i was talking about the new temple i made that contains autobuild?#i was like ''yahaha. every zonai device around is stolen and you have to actually use your brain to progress!''#but then some days later I remembered. you literally have zonai devices on hand all the time: the item capsules#so to solve this problem I thought of adding unique advices thay can only be found there#like the electric batteries or propellers in some shrines#god. doesn't this just suck???#they shouldn't have included the capsules#would make it harder to reach stuff (like the skylands faaaar in the corners with the gleeoks) but damn THAT'S when you need to get#creative.#i say it again. totk is only here to show off the oh so amazing physics (which indeed are amazing. gotta admit that but) goddamn it
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