#i got very lazy near the end if you couldnt tell

[literallyadonis]

Pov: Lester's reaction to modern day dramas cause he bout that good drama

Got a stylus so this had to be the first thing- lol

[bluemedallion]

Crewfu Appreciation Week!

Day 2: Beyond The Clip

So for today, I decided I was gonna take everyone on a journey. A journey to October 2, 2021. When Steve, Baycon, Ellum and 5up played a game called Devour.

Devour is a multiplayer horror game, where the goal is to run around in a little map and complete scary little goals. This gameplay is where the famous :kojisrsteewee: image comes from:

So. Something very fun happened this stream. Because Baycon is not a very easy-to-scare guy, but he for sure gets very, very scared here. And by god, does Steve react to it. And whatever, it's a fucking awesome event that I love and think about like, often. So whether you remember this or not, I'm here to overexplain and overshow it all with a frankly weird amount of clips and vids that I compiled over the last few hours (it is 2 am). Let's take a trip down Memory Fuckin Lane yall. Let's dive into... the Little Hands Saga.

CW: jumpscares, spiders

So, they play the first map just fine. The goal was to find and sacrifice some goats while a scary lady (and some demons) chased them. They did it easily.

The second level was a similar premise. This time, they had to find little fuckin egg thingies, cleanse them, while a scary spider lady (and some spiders) chased them. This slight scene change would make all the difference.

It wore them out, though.

The first sign from Baycon that things were wrong...

(Sorry for not being able to link all the videos directly btw, I am not tech savvy and couldnt get it to work so this will have to do)

So yeah, Baycon is erhm. Scared of spiders.

It's very surprising, cause up until this point neither the audience nor his friends knew he was scared of fuckin anything. We had no fuckin clue, I was just as shocked as they were. But my delight at finding out that when he's scared, he starts high-pitched babbling? Fucking immeasurable.

At one point soon after, Steve and Baycon were hiding from the spider lady. There's a game mechanic where you can hide in a closet, and I guess it feels safer? Idfk, but Baycon was hiding in the closet, while Steve was just stood in the corner of the room.

What happened next was the best event of the whole game, and because I'm too lazy to clip it all separately, I'll let 🥰Koji🥰 tell you all about it.

And god, I just love the irony of Baycon thinking he's the safe one. And then Steve just... standing in the corner while he got dragged off jshfsjrhdshds it fuckin gets me.

After that jumpscare... Steve watched Baycon's pov while they were mid-game. And uh. Pointed out something interesting.

Baycon's little hands.

As you heard in that last video, Baycon got scared again near the end. And his little hands... they just went up again.

And here's Baycon's reaction right after that...

So it's clear our poor guy is having it rough. For pretty much the whole level, Baycon was just crying to himself in a corner because of all the spiders. It was truly great to witness. But the mockery of his little hands went on.

Then it happened a third time. With possibly the best noises to ever leave his mouth.

God this poor guy. Aware of his little hands but so scared he just can't stop flinging 'em up.

Here's 5up's pov of the conversation right afterwards, because Steve was fuckin thanking a sub on his side.

Nshfhsbf poor Baycon. 5up out here calling him weak because at first he was affronted by being called little hands, and now he's doing it himself. My man literally wants to curl into a lil ball until the spiders leave him alone.

Thats the extent of the bit tbh, this guy is forever mocked for having little hands and we emerged with the best clips of all time. It's a shame nobody saved Baycon's vod, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Speaking of all the clips...

Okay, it happened one more time shhdsjdb this is the best one, look look look

HIS LITTLE HAND FLIP AS HE REALIZES THAT HE DID THE LITTLE HANDS AGAIN SJHSAJSHSHAH THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE JUST CAUSE OF THAT SNFNWNDBE

Anyways. This is the end of the saga. I genuinely think about the Little Hands Saga at least once a month. When looking for these clips I found some I hadn't even seen before. It's just--THE most entertaining vod, I love watching Steve get so fucked up so quickly. And the Little Hands Saga,,,,, god it means everything to me. I hope they do more horror games this October, even though I fucking hate horror. For shit like this, it's worth it.

Hope you enjoyed :)

Bonus! Here's Baycon being very brave about the whole thing. Took place right after he died in the first Little Hands jumpscare.

[reidsnose]

sticky notes (spencer reid x reader) (platonic!baux reader)

overview: reader leaves and recieves a passive aggressive sticky note before going on a case

genre: fluff and humor?

a/n: i thought of this last night while i was trying to go to sleep and i could not stop thinking about that one vine and its also super snowy where i live lol. anyway i wrote it today throughout the school day and couldnt wait to put it on here :)

-

masterlist

-

'whoever used the last sugar packet, your moms a hoe.'

you let out a small chuckle and stuck the sticky not to the container that usually held packets of sugar before taking a sip of your bitter, unsweetened coffee that you would have to deal with for the rest of the day.

"i hope hotch didn't take it," prentiss laughed, peering over at the note.

"everyone knows hotch drinks his coffee black." you retorted.

"no only you know that because you were his assistant before you joined the team," she joked, resulting in you sending a light elbow to her side. "you know we are handwriting analysts. everyones going to know you wrote that."

"except that they wont because i type everything. besides, i dont really think anyone on the team wont take the joke." you chuckled, pushing the door open with your free hand and heading into the bullpen.

"briefing room in 5 minutes, we have a case," hotch called from the balcony.

"theres fresh coffee in the break room, i feel like were going to need it," you said to the rest of the team that were sitting at there desks.

they all eagerly got up, ready for a fresh, hot drink to wake them up. you smiled as you walked to the briefing room, standing by your unassigned assigned seat. you took a sip of your drink, making a face at the bitter taste.

"why is your beautiful face scrunched up?" Garcia asked, setting down files in front of all the empty seats.

"someone took the last sugar." you stated simply.

"i have some in the batcave, youre always welcome" she winked, sending you a warm smile which you gladly returned.

"youre the best."

"yeah i know," she answered before the other agents began filing in, Spencer taking a seat next to you. "alright crime fighters, today youre all headed to snowy Alaska."

"actually," rossi looked at hotch and then garcia before continuing, "Garcia i think youre coming too."

"sir?" she looked over at hotch.

"dave is right. the connection will be spotty anyway, it would be best if you came a long and worked from the precinct." hotch confirmed.

"oh. alright." she obliged before continuing with the details of the case.

(a/n: im waaayyyy too lazy to write a whole case)

"wheels up in 5, it will take a while to get there and we dont have time to waste." hotch said at the end of the briefing before walking out.

"oh shoot i left my phone in the break room," i whispered, smacking my forehead with my palm.

"do you want me to wait for you?" spencer offered.

"no its ok," you smiled, jogging down the stairs.

"ill take your go bag. hurry i dont know if i can convince them not to leave without you!" he called after me, a giggle escaping his throat at his own joke.

"thanks! it'll be their loss anyway!" you laughed, as you sped walked to the break room. "there you are." you whispered to your phone that was sitting on the counter.

your eyes drifted to the note you had left earlier only it was gone. a new note sat in its place, a reply scrawled on it.

'ill have you know my mother is a very nice lady'

you smiled and rolled your eyes, slipping the note into your pocket as you walked briskly towards the jet. you walked out and saw reid waiting for you at the door of the jet, motioning frantically for you to board. you had taken a little too long looking at the note.

"10 more seconds before you're officially late!" he yelled, looking at his watch.

you broke out into a sprint, running as fast as you possibly could, trying to get across the runway in time.

"dont leave without me!" you yelled out, knowing they wouldn't.

you looked at the windows, seeing the team's faces pressed against the glass, watching amused.

"5 seconds!" he warned as you neared the stairs. "3..." almost there! "2..." just a few more steps. "1!" his arms shot up as you pushed past him into the jet, just in the nick of time.

"wow im impressed pretty lady!" morgan laughed, giving you a high-five which you exasperatedly accepted.

"have a seat y/l/n, we have a long flight." hotch said. you began thinking he was made at you but then you saw him trying to stifle a smile, "i dont think ive even seen you run like that in the field."

he held out his fist which you bumped with your own before flopping breathlessly down onto one of the chairs on the jet.

~time skip to the end of the case because i feel like it~

you walked out of the police department, watching your own breath swirl around the air in front of you.

"could you believe that detective?" jj scoffed walking with you towards the suvs in the parking lot.

"i know he was so...creepy." you agreed, "if i smelled his coffee breath one more time id take his tiny d-"

you didnt get to finish your sentence, though; you felt a cold snowball bash against the back of your head.

"gotta go!" jj laughed, hopping into one of the last suvs and driving off.

"whoever threw that snowball, your moms a hoe!" you yelled out crouching down to gather some snow.

"what?" spencer yelled, emerging from behind a trashcan.

"IT WAS YOU!" you laughed, throwing a snowball and hitting him straight in the chest.

"wait no. what did you just say?" he asked, eyes wide.

"i said whoever threw that snowball, your moms a hoe." you stated, suddenly feeling bad, "but not your mom, diana is-"

"a very nice lady." he finished, reaching into his pocket and fishing out a crumpled little paper.

"oh my gosh," you breathed, pulling out a note from your own pocket.

"i had a feeling it was you!" he laughed.

you raised your eyebrows, "yeah right! you had no clue!"

"i totally did! i was like, 'hmmm who in the office talks like this? oh yeah my idiot best friend'." he countered, smirking.

"well i had a feeling it was you too!" you lied, crossing your arms.

"youre lying!" he laughed.

"no im not!"

"yes you are! you have a tell!"

"i do?!"

"yes! you purse your-" he swiftly reached to the floor and picked up a small amount of snow, wiping it across your mouth, "-lips."

the cool snow melted quickly on your now very warm face, causing you to instinctively wipe your it with your sleeve, "oh its on!"

snowballs were flying left and right in the nearly empty parking lot, seeking refuge all over your bodies. you watched him sneakily duck behind a trashcan, thinking you hadn't seen him. letting out a small chuckle you creeped towards the trashcan, standing behind him as he peered his head around the other side, looking for where you had gone. you took a small amout of snow and reached your arm around his head, wiping it against his mouth as he had. he jumped letting out a small scream before turning around and latching his arms around your waist.

he picked you up and spun you around, loosing his footing on the slippery, causing a strange mix of a laugh and a scream to escape your mouth. he fell back on a fresh layer of snow, with a dull thump. you fell directly on top of him, your foggy breaths melding together as your laughs started fading. his eyes flickered from your eyes down to your lips, a new rouge gracing his cheeks and nose, one that would be there regardless of the cold.

"ca-can i kiss you?" he asked, looking back up at your eyes.

"please." you smiled, heart close to bursting out of your chest as he closed the gap between you.

[atsumiye]

Yeah let's have it lol. And it might be small to others but it's big to you so it still matters.

STOP HJSAFGHGDIQWUOHGUBHA i love you thank you!!! you are very sweet for saying that <333 i love complaining to people!! this is fun and i switched to my computer so i could type more and faster lmao long rant ahead

OKAY OKAY lets start with the fact that i couldnt fall asleep last night no matter how exhausted i was. ill blame it on pre school jitters but it was annoying bc i am not a morning person. right so i have to go to this place thats like 30 min away from me by bus for my ONE class so i had to wake up extra early too so ofc!! i was tired!!! and i knew it would happen so i planned everything and set it all up so it would move a bit faster in the morning (SOB i am someone who takes 15 minutes to like put on socks in the morning if im tired) also!! i just got back to my apartment like a few days ago so everything is still in suitcase (im lazy) so i knew i would need something or whatever and so i planned for it. ANYWAY everything was going okay UNTIL i put on my outfit i was so excited for. okay listen i bought this sweater right before covid happened and its so cute and never got to wear t so ive been pumped and i purposely laid it out flat so it wouldnt wrinkle and then this morning IT WAS SO WRINKLY and then i put on these pants that i love that literally fit last week and they were like falling down and i couldnt do anything about it bc i didnt want to be late and my hair was straightening properly so i looked dumb I WILL ADMIT THOUGH my makeup and jewelry looked poppin. get to the bus only to find out that this deal the used to have of like 3 months of free bus rides for quite cheap NO LONGER EXISTS so now my budget for the month is all out of wack too. now, my friend told me to wait for her only for her to SHOW UP LATE and then get MAD AT ME when i told her i would go by myself to class. SCREAMS and we arent even done. its still only 8:50 am at this point. we get to class and i realize I DONT THINK I UNPLUGGED MY STRAIGHTENER i live alone so this??? is an issue. so im concerned the whole class and then my teacher tells me i have 3 weeks to make a 20 page thesis <333 and wouldnt give us good examples of what kind of topics to pick <333 now class ends early so thats a plus and me and my friend decide to go eat lunch later which is something to look forward to but i get to the bus station and start waiting with some friends but there is a ton of traffic due to construction so we waited for 30 minutes, in the cold, for a bus that NEVER SHOWED UP. so my friends decide we should walk home. and im so panicked thinking about how i might have almost started the biggest fire in world history i agree. AND on the way once we start walking this guy i used to LIKE a lot literally ignored me this morning so i made sure to say hi to him when i walked past him and he was so dry :l and im over my little crush on him but??? you cant IGNORE ME??? anyway back to the walking home. BABE ITS AN HOUR AND 15 MINUTE WALK AND I START SWEATING. and my white shoes got really dirty. then i say goodbye to my friends and he tries to hug me but i realize i have like a mini lake underneath my sweater so i dodge him and look like an idiot <333 then i embarrass myself over text to my hopefully soon-to-be boyfriend. but i get home and my straightener was unplugged so all was good but then i wait until 3 pm for my friend to answer my texts about lunch only for her to go eat lunch with her parents :D without telling me :D and ive been starving for hours :D then!!! this lady who was supposed to help me clean my kitchen CANCELLED AGAIN. so i took a nap and woke up late and now i wont be able to sleep. as i said this may seem so insignificant but it kept piling on and these are only the things i can remember <333 there was definitely so much more <33

and honestly this is truly how my days go like one time i went to go get coffee and came home to the police bc the mafia set a car on fire near me <33 this is how my life runs <33 me and my near death experiences <33 ANYWAY this part was kinda unrelated but i felt like it needed to be added. so if you made it to the end of this without wanting to claw your eyes out thanks <333 and if you want any more story times pls let me know i will literally talk about them any day any time akgduewd

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[philippageorgiou]

thoughts on the picard season 1 finale!!!!!!!!!!!!! only 26 hours after starting this damn rewatch

everything that happens on the synth homeworld just feels very silly, the first part of the finale is so inconsequential i couldnt even tell you anything that happened

it’s just. very messy and lazy. 

"sad queen annika, six years old and all she got for her birthday was assimilated" i’m sorry but this is such a funny line!!!!!! anyway seven killing narissa ‘for hugh’ just like she killed bjayzl for icheb 🥺 

will turning up to save the day and threatening to kill oh’s treacherous tal shiar ass... i love one man

very bold (read: stupid) of them to have the main character literally die 20 minutes from the end of the season. yes i absolutely sobbed through the scenes of everyone mourning yes i hated it.

i just think that his near-death thing achieved nothing!!!!! why!!!! 

the whole ordeal was just lazy writing and cutting corners idk they could just have easily.... let him live a few more years without bringing it up. or just given him a near death thing, let him see data, and thats that. we didnt need this whole thing it was so dumb and emotionally whiplashy. you dont let your characters AND audience mourn only to be like SIKEEEEE 2 minutes later

anyway ngl idk what else happened in this

isa briones’ cover of blue skies just makes me weeeeeep 

the raffi and seven hand holding moment is almost embarrassing in how random it was but as always with star trek it’s all about taking whatever crumbs youre given and i very much appreciate this crumb

ok so rewatching the whole picard show after 9 months (i couldve had a picard-hating baby by now! what a concept!) my opinion hasnt changed drastically but! here are my overall takes

it’s messy as fuck

none of the characters are developed as much as they should be at any given moment. you cant just wait to give characters personalities until its convenient to. yes this is about soji but also a lot of the supporting chars

also? on the subject of supporting characters? dont introduce a new one every episode. it’s clumsy.

i say we ban writing teams that are just one writer, one trek nerd and 35 executive producers. enough. let writers write and producers produce and nerds... nerd. stay in your lanessss! also please try to understand the format youre writing for!!!!! please!!!!! and for the love of god learn pacing. ive never seen anything as inconsistent as this

calm down with the plotlines. complicated doesnt always mean good. let the characters be the complicated driving force through a plot thats layered and interesting, sure, but digestible and actually makes sense

also? fucking acknowledge beverly crusher. i’ll go one step further and say let her fuck admiral clancy because that’s what they deserve and what we deserve

i still dont like this show and it’s still my least favourite trek but there are things i appreciate about it now that i didnt before! but not a lot! one thing that has changed though is that i dont have so much hatred for it, it’s mostly just been replaced with disappointment at the wasted opportunities 

i believe that next season could be a lot better now that theyve got the nostalgia / fanservice stuff out of the way, so fingers crossed!!!!!

[rkyjun]

can’t get you out of my head... (a.k.a yeonjun is a sad lovesick puppy)

a lot has gone on in yeonjun's life. realistically, not much had gone if you were to look at this in a time perspective. however, it can mentally feel like a whole month has happened when it's probably only a few weeks. or even days.

that's how it feels like for him, anyways. his mind is a mess for one person and one person only. after that night of having kissed each other, it was easy to say that yeonjun hasn't been the same since then. in fact, if he had to be honest, the only thing—person in his mind right now was choi san. and he found it very irritating about that being the case. he didn't hate the fact that he was thinking about the fact that he was thinking of him. but after years of having not seen this boy, believing that he's gotten over his feelings that he had since high school, these thoughts were thrown back into his head. and all it does is make him more frustrated than he was before.

he doesn't like the fact that when he's not doing anything important, he finds himself drifting off to replay those memories in his head. he hates how when he tries his best to not think about the boy, the first thing that comes to his mind is his lips. how soft they were against his and how that night wasn't the first time he thought that. how back then, loving him was finding every single interaction precious to him and being able to be vulnerable with someone that wasn't his childhood friends. in fact, he think he's told more secrets to him than he has to despite the fact that they've known each other since soobin was in preschool and yeonjun was in kindergarten.

his crush on him felt as much fun as it did stressful. he remembers constantly thinking about whether or not the boy felt the same as he did. the two trusted each other with almost everything. yeonjun practically told this boy about all the problems he had at the time. if he were to ruin their friendship with that one little secret, it'd be over for him. fortunately, san felt the same for the other boy. unfortunately, college split them up. or, as yeonjun would like to phrase it, his parents split them up.

those first few years in snu were awful. not only was he pursuing a major that he had no interest for in the first place, but he was also missing a part of himself. the part that he gave to choi san all those years ago. no longer were they the friends they used to be, san now following his dreams in k-arts whilst yeonjun is forced to stick to his business major. of course, he manages to try to fill the void in his heart by continuing to talk to more people and trying to find ways to be happier, even though some of them were not the best. after december, he's tried his best to stay focused in school after months of extreme apathy to anything related to it. yet, he still finds his ways to eat fried food and also go to bustling places alone to try and fill the loneliness somehow.

and now the loneliness in him returns. and it was all his fault.

there was no other way of looking at it. yeonjun pushing san away whilst realizing that he was kissing the other was practically a parallel to yeonjun telling him about his parents making him to go to snu. it was a parallel to how after that incident, yeonjun did just what his father did back then to the poor boy. the look of hurt on his face was enough to haunt the boy's thoughts that he even thinks about it while enjoying a good box of fried chicken.

he feels a little bit better after going to jaebum about his issues. it was nice to get it off of his chest once in a while, especially to someone he knows he can trust. but there's still something in his head that he can't seem to get rid of.

so he tries his best to continue letting time go by slowly, his head full of nothing but that boy because he can't do anything about it.

perhaps, in a way, he deserves it.

it starts off harmless. like any other normal sleepover they've had in their past. yeonjun's almost certain that nothing grand would happen on video game night with his best friend. besides getting drunk and complaining about who's cheating, yeonjun expects for the night to normally as it usually does.

but, he should've known already from his past with the boy. when put together, they were unpredictable. not only to their classmates or friends, but to themselves as well. because the next thing he knows, he's waking up in his bed with a painful headache with no clue as to where choi san is. he was not in his room, nor was he in any other room in his house. it makes him question if the boy was even there in the first place.

yeonjun only knows that san was over after he gets ready and asks his mom to make hangover soup when he goes downstairs. amidst all the scolding of how he should not drink so much in order to live healthily, she mentions that san woke up pretty early and left while yeonjun was still asleep. it was another jab at his health: his sleeping habits this time.

he manages to pretend the only pain he's experiencing is his hangover. it's better than talking to his parents about his feelings over a boy. they wouldn't understand it. it'd just be another reason to look at their son in shame before comparing him to his better, superior brother.

he thankful he doesn't have classes today and over the fact that his parents are surprisingly not nagging at him about not going outside today. he's able to stay home and play video games as he always does. classic lazy yeonjun. as he returns to his room, he sends san a few texts to check if he's okay. if he's... fine.

( sms ⇢ ⛰shine ) hey!!! was wondering where you were bc i didn't see u leave ( sms ⇢ ⛰shine ) hope you're okay!! i know we drank a lot so i hope u were able 2 go home safe since it's a long ride

he debates whether he should talk about last night. because as he's sending these messages, the events that happened played in his head. the sweet kisses, the melting touches... just thinking about it all made yeonjun's face heat up. he wonders if he should bring it up. the last time something like that happened between them, yeonjun tried to ignore san for an entire week. of course, it wasn't because of that. but it was unfortunate with how the time played itself.

so he does. in the most subtle way possible.

( sms ⇢ ⛰shine ) thank u for last night

he clicks his phone off immediately as he anxiously waits for his response, getting flustered over how he sent that. he shouldn't be so freaked out over such a text. it wasn't anything bad. perhaps it was because of the context that he's feeling this way.

every notification sets him off for the next few hours. he wants to convince himself that san wasn't avoiding him because why would he? they're becoming the best friends they were before, right? the friends who relied on each other and always went to each other for everything? sure, they have grown up and matured, but they're still the same san and yeonjun they were before... right?

he finds himself disappointed with every notification that didn't come from "⛰shine". though he didn't mind the company of his other friends, he couldn't help but grow more and more upset with each message that came from everyone but him. a part of him even wonders if it's worth it to keep on trying. he didn't want to become miserable in his room all because he was waiting from a response from one person.

there was no read update. it's been hours. and nothing.

he tries not to think about it too much. the more he thinks, the more he finds himself slowly going into a mindset that he didn't enjoy being in at all.

it's hours later when yeonjun hears his notification bell and he hurriedly grabs his phone near his side as he's playing video games in the evening. even though he's been waiting to hear from him since the morning, he still is relieved over the fact that san got back to him. that there wasn't anything weird between both of them. that they were okay.

or so he thought.

( sms from ⛰shine ) yeah sorry i couldnt say goodbye had to head out early because of work ( sms from ⛰shine ) you too

yeonjun's face drops when he sees the word bubbles appear on his screen. he's surprised by how disappointing the response was, even though a part of him believes he deserves it. was that all san had to say about their hookup? is this the same boy that kissed him during that last sleepover? is this the same boy that was all flirtatious with him last night? yeonjun remembers even asking him throughout all of this if he wanted this to happen and he always said yes with the honesty that yeonjun could recognize immediately...

years ago, he said nothing about that night. should he have done the same? because either way, he feels the same type of shittiniess he felt back then.

the you too isn't specific enough. did he hope he was okay despite the hangover that would follow after? was it about him? nothing was clear to yeonjun anymore. his emotions were all over the place. he should be thankful that san at least replied to him... but with this?

he was tired. he wasn't even in the mood for video games anymore. he'd rather not stay up at night watching random tiktoks or going through his social media sites to pathetically think about how his life is lacking compared to everyone else. the time where he'd bother his friends with a bunch of messages to check on how they were doing don't even occur in yeonjun's mind now.

he's already had dinner. he already got what he was wasting all his energy for. yeonjun just wanted to sleep. sleep and not think about how his friendship with choi san was at stake for the night.

hopefully, tomorrow he won't stay in his head too much. but who knows if he'll follow through with that in the end?

[ducknotinarow]

Bailey's quiet, the smell of alcohol thick on him. He'd been drinking, no surprise, but it wasn't his usual party drinking. This was sadness, heavy thoughts, drinking. He leans against Richard, words slurred slightly, "Richy,,, do you think I'm a bad person?" He sniffles, "That I shouldn't be here,,, cause I keep messing up and causing trouble? That I should've died when I got in that crash, or OD,,," His voice goes so quiet, it's hard to hear him at all, "'Cause it feels like I should have,,,"

It was a quiet night, least it was meant to be for Richard. Until getting a bit of a concurring phone call from Bailey. He was quick to turn back out his front door and leave to get that rooster. 

At least, he didn’t go out to drive this time, Richard thought as he found the rooster easily, and drove toward Bailey's place. He reeked with that smell of alcohol, enough to tell Richard just how much he must have had. Quite the whole drive, that was, unsettling.

Pulling up finally, he knew the rooster would need help inside as he turned off the engine and got out. 

Letting Bailey lean against him once getting him out of the car. Ugh. That heavy scent of alcohol was worse up close, but he was able to get the rooster inside with little issue. when Bailey finally began to speak up. Leaning aginst Richard as he spoke up.

"Richy,,, do you think I'm a bad person?"

I think you're a pain in the ass. 

Richard simply brushing this off as usual drunk banter. Until Bailey contuined.

"That I shouldn't be here,,, cause I keep messing up and causing trouble? That I should've died when I got in that crash, or OD,,,"

Richard froze in his steps as he mentioned that. 

"'Cause it feels like I should have,,,"

His voice was so soft that Richard nearly missed what he said. Near the end there. He just looked over to this over the top, always dramatic, airy guy. And, couldnt really believe that those words left his beak. An odd drop to his heart, it felt heavy? Hearing Bailey feel that way. He just kept walking till getting to the couch and got Bailey to sit down on it.  Bailey hadn't spoken again, since saying all that.

was he waiting for an answer?

Richard knelt down in front of them so he could look up at his face. "You're a pain in the ass, you're lazy at times, you demand attention all the time no matter what, you have no work ethic, and see life as a party." He paused and placed a hand on Baileys knee. "You're patient, you have some consideration in you, you have more empathy than you may relieze." 

Richard using his free hand gently titles the roosters chin up a bit. "You're not a bad person just because you make mistakes. Maybe there's a reason you haven't crashed or OD yet? There's a reason you're still here. You're Bailey Alder, not a screw up. You make mistakes but that dosen’t mean you are one. You can come back from any mistake Bailey no matter how many you make or how many times you make it.” Richard, just looks at them a moment “You are very persistent  and stubborn, as much as those traits may annoy me at times. They are also your best traits.”

“But I think you could stand to be a much kinder to yourself. ” 

[vaguelygeiszlerian]

1 to 50

ok i just saw this existed, i live on tumblr mobile where i ignore the activity tab and scroll endlessly, bear w me

Animated character that was your gay awakening? uhhhhhhh,,,....,,,.. if i remembered anything abt my childhood i would tell u, im gonna say rukia from bleach because i want gorgeous short people to step on me

Grilled cheese or PB&J? peanut butter Always... tho if it was a fancy grilled cheese (there is a special preparation).... i would be torn

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? it really depends! i bounce around, i watch a lot of baumgartner restorations, i watch a LOT of nyx fears video essays on horror movies i would never watch, i watch longplays of, like, nier automata bc im still delighted by cryaotic?

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? i dont really get to order a lot of drinks at bars, itll depend, if im with friends ill order as many things off the cocktail menu as my money allows, if im with my parents ill order long island iced teas or whiskey and lemonade

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? i literally own like 3 pairs of shoes, one of which being the only pair i can actually safely wear haha.... but my favorite pair is the black red and gold converse that dont fit anymore but still remind me of high school

Top three cuisines? mexican, italian, whomever the fuck invented kasoundi

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? yeah as said above i have no clue about anything about my childhood so idk i think mum said once that my first proper word was just ‘no’ which sounds abt right

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? idk if my last job counts? i mean i used to do all round garden labor stuff until my pain got worse and i literally couldnt anymore so i got relegated to desk work

Look up. What’s directly across from you? oh a container of pesto i didnt like the flavour of and just... forgot to throw out.... i will do that tomorrow

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a rwby poster signed by ray and jack? its p cool

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? preferred right now? wrapped in a metric fuckton of blankets w my partner

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? i..... dont like bagels

Brunch or midnight snacks? i live a weirdly scheduled life, midnight snacks and brunch are interchangeable to me now, so both

Favorite mug you own i..... dont really have one? all of my actual mugs that are mine have my deadname on them haha

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? overbrewed black coffee that someone left to go cold before dumping six packs of sugar in

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) ‘ And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me ‘ bc we all love a bit of mitski when we are feeling the self isolation creeping in

Fruity or herbal teas? fruity teas only! or rather i drink fruit tisanes! but if you mean actual tea then herbal, i only drink peppermint tea

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? fruits basket! everyone watch the reboot

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? all the books i read for class sucked but medea wasnt so bad

Do you match your socks? only when theyre very fun patterned socks, and even then sometimes i will match them to the wrong pair but the same pattern, aka my double watermelon combo (i have a pair of green socks w watermelons and a pair of black socks w watermelons so)

Have you ever been horseback riding? no and i never will because i am fucking terrified of horses

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) uh.... uh i mean im not sure if it counts as a phase but i was stupid into vampires (to the point of me and my friends constructing the intricate theory that our teacher was a vampire and we had to kill her by the time we graduated (she was not and we did not and i hate all of those people now) i was just the weird conspiracy kid i guess, we used to spend every lunch staring across the oval at a house we were SURE an alien lived in (it was just a plastic bag being rustled by a fan)

Have you ever been to jail? bkdnbrb god no

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? im a lazy susan

Puzzles? i cant solve a rubiks cube but give me a 2000 piece jigsaw and ill sit there for 6 hours trying to solve it

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? oh this is tough..... orange juice, the fancy kind but with no bits in it, i used to like the bits but these days i just want a clean juice experience

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? ,,,,,,the ya fiction section, i never buy anything from there but i like to see if series i read as a teenager ever got new instalments after i stopped liking them

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? how to sleep like a normal person

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? uh, it depends! lizzo or my playlist of musicals! (which is literally just starkid/tcb stuff)

Where could someone find you in a museum? i could literally be anywhere, probably in front of some old piece though, just staring for an hour bc im struck by the majesty of it (and my legs probably locked up so i couldnt move anyway)

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? so i have a nice white button up and some really nice jeans i just got, and my suspenders, and my cool blue heels that i know i cant wear bc my legs cant handle walking in heels anymore, but it would look cool am i right

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? i look up at my roof which is almost entirely covered in glow in the dark stars and then stare into the camera (i wish every day that my roof was like the roof of the healthy harold van, i still have fucking dreams of that beautiful ceiling)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? non traditional? id want a lizard that could curl round my shoulders like a leathery scarf

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? i dont have any photos on my wall so art by default

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i just want the pensive emoji tattooed in the small of my back so if i wear a crop top everyone has to suffer with me

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with fuck superheroes they suck, can i hang out with jason todd red hood style

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? oceans, i want to go to the beach so fucking bad

Favorite mid-2000s song i dont really have a Big Favorite but like..... i constantly thank god for esteban

How do you dress when you’re home alone? ive been in the same sweatpants and old paint shirt i got from my painting and decorating course for three days

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? armchair closest to the kitchen, perfect to make a quick escape if dad comes in

Knives or swords? knives, i dont have the upper body strength for swords

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving? oh uh run away with me by crj, *bwoooooooo buhnuhnuuuuuu buhnuhnuuuuuhhh buhnuhnuuuuhhhhh*

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BUT SPECIFICALLY ONLY CERTAIN PARTS FROM EACH OF THEM BC COLLECTIVELY THEY SUCK BUT PARTS OF THEM ARE PERFECT

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? no caption i dont want people to really acknowledge that i post things

Name a classic Vine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anQds9PQ7CA

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? hash browns hash browns hash browns ONLY

How do you top your ice cream? god its been so long since ive been able to eat ice cream.... with the reeses peanut butter ice cream shell topping

Do you like Jello? jelly is the pinnacle of our society and i wish i were eating it right now

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? i wish i had a picture of myself and my partner so i could set it as my phone lock screen (that or i wish i had a picture of me and a friend i really dearly miss bc i have pics of her in my phone but not of us together and i want some but i cant bring myself to say so)

How are you at climbing trees? theres a tree in my front yard i used to be able to hang off but nowadays i think id hurt myself just trying to lift my nasty meat sack off the ground trying

[lilytcyip]

December 31st, 2019

1.3 tera v w/ rjin & ggao

1.4 cactus & la foret w/ jng

1.8 talked it out with jng ; tried to understand that if i were happy, what more could you ask for

1.11 cyns bday dinner

1.11 craft beer w/ aleung & lwong

1.13 arisu & standing egg with efeng & aleung ; drove on highway for the first time

1.18 west dineout w/ annie pkp

1.19 glass w/ fifi

2.10 first snow of the year

2.3 cny lunch at home with the fam - tong yuen & poon choi

2.4 mooseknuckles - grateful

2.5 lunar new year

2.16 hangiout with mamayip & sis: beta 5, fixing the parka, meetfresh, miku sushi dindin

2.17 mom leaving for 2 months, wandering earth with the yips

2.19 happy hour cactus w/ fifi

2.20 kokoro lunch & shopping w/ rjin

2.20 so hyang w/ veda & nwu

2.21 black been noodles & tonkatsu lunch & usagi matcha sweets w/ ewong

2.22 green leaf sushi & grounds for coffee w/ vtan

2.25 sushi mura w/ acao ; larry berg planes and kisses for the first time

3.13 mental health talk w/ nwu & tchiu + jamjar

3.15 virtuous pie & nanas green tea w/ rjin

3.16 wine night w/ claw, aleung & fsyal

3.17 tabom & stanely park w/ jerpilla

3.23 pool & rc shopping with jyang

4.3 studying with jyang on campus & langara bye

4.9 studying with jyang at my house

4.18 ramen danbo & official date 

4.20 so hyang & off the grid waffles w/ ayip

4.26 sci ning off w/ aleung, claw, fsyal, lwong & mcheung

4.27 clay llama terra pot class

4.29 so hyang budae jjigae & yifang w/ ewong

4.30 rc shopping & sushi lover with the yips 

5.1 maenam, kits beach & rain or shiine ice cream w/ rjin

5.2 our first little tiff & being called chubby by mlo

5.3 shopping w/ vchan, aleung & fsyal

5.7-5.11 LA trip

5.8 LACMA & melrose & century city field

5.9 warner bros tour

5.10 malibu

5.28-6.1 hokkaido, japan

5.29 a 2-floor hotel with own onsen

5.31 otaru food adventures

6.1 doraemon painting & royce airport

6.2 macau: got scammed by taxi & lost luggage

6.7-6.15 inner mongolia & beijing

6.18 first co op offer 

6.21 fire port party at fifis house

6.29 pottery painting w lwong, aleung, vchan, fsyal

7.5 brunch w/ rjin at jethro’s fine grub, baker & table

7.6 nwu’s birthday dindin at coast, hangout with aleung & nwu at nightingale

7.14 leavenworth cherries

7.17 brunch w/ rjin at OEB

7.19 nightmarket w/ jyang, mlaw, rjin

7.21 beach day w/ aleung, fsyal & lwong; hy’s with fam

7.24 chau veggies w/ acao

7.27 shiok & icy bar w/ ewong

8.3 first day of work at doctors office

8.4 escape room w/ vchan, fsyal & jyang; bowling & anh and chi

8.17 dindin w/ fsyal, aleung & tlim; double date walks at olympic village with ancas

8.18 - 8.19 kelowna

8.18 polar grove & penticton lazy river, mission hill

8.19 kayaking, quail’s gate

8.24 lit night at fifis house with the girls and boys

8.25 aleung’s bday harrison trip

8.27 work shopping & nuba w/ fsyal

8.28 sleepover w/ rjin

8.29 brunch w/ aleung, moii cafe chill with fsyal too

9.3 first day of co op work

9.7 grave of the fireflies & wildtale cuddles

9.14 eric chou meet & greet

9.19 amandarachlee neg comment and posted my encouragement on her story

10.5 maiko parfait & shopping w/ jyang, earls with the amigos

10.18 gmen & oncecake: melody, rillakuma, card & collage

10.24 dark table w/ rjin

11.7 moii after work 

12.15 baking custard souffle pancakes w/ ewong

12.18 office christmas party & bbt w/ slim

12.19 glow

12.21 fifi’s christmas party

12.22 christmas market w/ rjin: churros & chimney cake

12.23 psyc team secret santa & mahjong

12.25 christmas dindin at market by jean-georges

12.26 birthday dindin at zeferelli

12.27 ring & birthday dinner at brix and mortar w/ jyang

12.28 skated alone, worked out, baked & dindin at botanist

looking back at it now, i definitely went out a lot more compared to previous years LOL i had some struggles in january, and at multiple points in my life i blamed myself for being ungrateful, for seeking more when i already had so much in life compared to other people. my friends were there for me and i wouldnt have been able to live through it without them. then again, during reading break in february, i got myself into the same hot mess and i was sad about it for a week and i blamed myself for getting so attached so quickly. because of these experiences, my expectations were v low and i didnt really expect anything when i talked to jyang, what they say really is true, you get it the moment you stop seeking for it. it comes and find you (: the 3 most important that happened this year is burbur, co op job & me getting more comfortable around doggs; this is a big deal !! i actually like cuddling dogs and i feel less scared of them as long as i have some time to get used to them!! im proud of myself for making progress with my phobia! after i started my co op job, bc i didnt have a lot to do, i felt like i wasnt actively contributing to my workplace and that i was very useless. i still feel the same way now, but i think i am slowly getting used to it. thankfully, my coworkers are VERY nice and i enjoy working around them. while i did not get a different position for january, im still grateful that i got an extended placement. nonetheless, meeting with the different PIs and sumeet pointed me in the right direction of looking for nserc / volunteering opportunities when i do go back to school. AND ofc burbur! im grateful that we were able to be there for each other for the past 8 months, both the ups and downs and i am so so thankful that we’re understanding and patient with each other, as we help each other learn along the way and help each other become a better version of ourselves. this companionship is better than i have asked for and i always remind myself to focus on the important things rather than the minor inconveniences. this year, in terms of fitness goals, ive been doing really well before asia. but ever since i came back, it all went downhill and i gained back all the weight that i lost this year year LOL so in 2020, one of my biggest goal is to eat healthy again, and workout more consistently. getting a job in sept kinda interfered with my progress too, bc i was so tired after work, even when i wasnt doing anything and i stressed eat bc i felt terrible. a lot of diff factors made me feel super stressed, and the fact that i wasnt eating clean / exercising reguarly made me feel worse about the whole situation ): so in 2020, maintaining a healthy lifestyle will be one of my top priorities and gifting myself a healthy body is one of greatest things i can do for myself. this also contributed to the lack of journalling near the end of the year, it felt like bc i wasnt doing the things i was “supposed to do”, i just felt so bad whenever i couldnt tick off that particular habit whenever i fill in my trackers. but tonight, i watched this video and it talked about habits should be for awareness, not for self-hate or self-loathing. this is something that i need to keep in mind. ever since april really, the issue of leaving my house and meeting up with my friends have always stressed me in fear of dealing with passive aggressiveness with my mom lool everytime i get inviited to plans, i just get anxiety about having to tell her about it LOL and even when im out, having a msg/ call for her freaks me out in fear that she will get mad at me for being home late and etc and fifi really woke me up with her words, i should just care less LOL i need to stop caring so much about what she thinks, bc at the end of the day, this IS my life and if i never make any changes, i will never be able to grow and be independent. i think this pree much sums up all my events and emotions in 2019, the last year of the 2010s. in the next decade, a lot of things will happen as i will be in my 20s - 30s, where new opportunities will arise, and graduate uni, do my masters, find a job, maybe even marry and move out LOL the 2020s will definitely be an impt decade, but just for next year i want to:

1. understand that i am old enough to make choices, and in general, care less about what she thinks

2. at the same time, i want to appreciate and be grateful for what my mom, dad and annie have done for me; a lot of the times, i feel like i take them for granted just bc i know they will always be there for me and this is not how you should treat your biggest supporters

3. trust that everything will workout in the end, while you may not be able to envision what you career / life would be like when youre 30, you can definitely take small steps and move towards your goal

4. be mindful of what i eat and exercise regularly (4x hiit & cardio a week) ; treats & sweets in moderation; use those habit trackers for awareness, not for self-loathing / self-hate

5. create art regularly, read more and at least do 5 duolingos every week! 

every year, time just seems to go by faster and faster and i feel scared at times. as i type this, theres only 8 minutes left of this decade LOL so in 2020, continue to live in the moment, be present, cherish those that are around you, and have faith that everything will come together, one piece at a time. at the same time, always rmb that you can make small changes to be a better version of yourself, whenever & however you want and this is the 1 thing that other people can’t stop you from doing! 

[starhoodies]

My trip to the KH World Tour Orchestra!

(I took these two with me LOL)

Hi guys! Whew today was a long day for me! Emotions are still raw, but I have so much I wanted to share from this concert! I have a few photos and I wanted to tell you guys all about the music, visuals, merch, seeing Shimomura and Nomura on stage, ect!

So the drive to LA was full of traffic and the theater's parking was a nightmare to navigate through but oh my god it was so worth it to be there. 

I grew up with Kingdom Hearts but I was too young to be apart of the times where cosplayers were super frequent and hype was ramped up as much as it was mid-2000s, so it was so amazing to finally be in a room...full of KH fans for once. 

Once I was in the lobby for the showing, I was able to get my hands on some merch just 10 minutes before the thing started! LOL They had CD’s (they were sold out when I asked ahhh TvT), Kingdom Keyblade conductor batons, shirts, show guides and ticket pouches.

This is what I got! All of it coming to about $130 LOL 

I’ve got some (pretty bad) shots of the guide if ya’ll were interested! There’s interviews as well as character bios and snippets from all the games. Helps to get caught up if you’ve missed a game OR all of them if you’re like my mother.

So once we got settled into our seats (Mum and I were at the back of the pit! So we were right near the show!) I didn’t take anymore than this because it’s against policy and I didn’t want to be rude. (That didn’t stop a dude behind me from flashing a pic during Xion’s theme though smh) I got one quick while they were warming up with character themes.

 The show started up with The orchestrated version of Hikari along with the DDD opening and let me tell you I was a ball of shaking and crying tears. My poor mother held onto my arm the entire time. Once I saw Sora burst through that book page I was done for. 

You can follow along the soundtrack in which order they played everything in on youtube so I won’t get into what was played, but during Dearly Beloved we got to have a little speech from Kairi! (Japanese VA with subs) It was set up as a kind of letter to Sora letting him know about her training. (I’m pretty sure a lot of people are aware of what she says but I’ll mention here just in case!)

 She mentions the usual kairi things about missing him and how how he should always remember to keep at his cheerful self. She mentions how Lea won’t stop apologizing to her even after forgiving him and that how it’s hard not to like him what with finding out he has a best friend he wishes to be reunited with. She says she catches him staring at her sometimes and when she asks why, he can’t explain it, but feels as though he should remember something (HHHHHHH)

We have something similar from Xion about thanking her friends for being there for her and introducing her to all these new things. She specifically thanks Roxas for saying her name, because she started feeling as though she had a heart from then on. My creys. (It was at this point my mom was like “why does the red head girl keep changing her hair color LOLOL)

There was a few scenes from the Japanese dub that were showed like, the Ventus’s “as my friends, please put an end to me” and Roxas’s “Guess my summer vacation’s over” scene. Aqua has the little bit where she’s wanting to wake Ven up and how he and Terra are her strength to keep going. 

The character songs were so much fun to watch clip shows to. The Lazy Afternoons and At Dusk, I will think of you reaaaaally got me emotional from the transition to the twilight town trio + roxas to Axel, Xion and Roxas. HOOO BOY.

Destati was gorgeous, The final boss theme KILLED, My mother loved twinkle twinkle holidays, and The other promise brings a tear to my eye as always.

I was so emotionally drained after the first half I couldnt get up to get a drink during intermission. And afterwards they showed the new trailer!! :DDD Everyone went N U T S my dude. There was so much OOOing and AAHing it was so good.

I was pleasantly surprised on how the show felt centered on the kh gals most of the time? Of course Sora and Roxas were the stars of this thing, but they used every cutscene of kairi that like existed, and despite that not being... a lot, it felt nice having her in the spotlight for a bit. (It was a lot of her doing love interest things sadly, but like seeing her just exist was a breath of fresh air)

My only personal con is a super petty super nitpicky “could use more riku” not because he missed out on any screen time, he had a good amount, it’s just I don’t recall  him getting a lot of time for himself which surprised me, but it wasn’t even that noticeable. It seems everyone had time to say a bit but him. Which is super odd considering he’s Riku LOL (I don’t recall Namine or Lea getting to say anything either. BUT HEY KID YOU’RE SPOILED ROTTEN ANYWAYS. YOU HAD UR CHARACTER SONG AND YOU GOT TO WALK OFF INTO THE SYMBOLIC III OF LIGHT WITH UR BUD AT THE END YOU’RE FINE.

Yoko Shimomura came off and on quite often actually! She was so precious! She kept thanking everyone for coming and everyone cheered so loudly for her. She first showed up saying: “Thank you everyone for making this possible” and then her translator showed up and Yoko just said “Um...I speak Japanese” and laughed as she continued in her native language while her translator...translated. 

At the end of the show she actually played the ending credit theme for us! ( THE CONDUCTOR SHOWS UP WITH THE KEYBLADE BATON AND USES IT TO CONDUCT IT WAS SO CUTE.)And thanked us for coming again.

AND THEN. Yoko continued with here concluding statement with “We have a very special guest for all of you.” AND RIGHT FROM LEFT STAGE COMES A SMOL, SUPER CASUAL, TETSUYA NOMURA. EVERYONE LOST IT EXCEPT FOR MY MOM WHO WAS LIKE “????” 

THIS TINY SASSY MAN WAS LIKE “Well you know I was here yesterday. And that the trailer came out yesterday...so I really don’t have much to say.” 

He starts talking about how he and Yoko will return next month (d23??) for “THE FINAL INFORMATION” as the translator put it.(I’m thinking III release date?) He and Yoko bicker and banter in rapid japanese and the poor translator could barely keep up. “LA was where me and Yoko started working together. It’s good to be here.” He says. Yoko laughs and states that “ahhh yes five years...or twenty years ago?? I like to think I’m still young.”

AND...tbh I was so SPENT I don’t remember much after that. They said their thank yous again and we were on our way. Honestly, I was melancholy it was over. I didn’t want to leave. I want to ingrain this into my memory forever.

My mom said afterwards that she had no idea what was going on but she wasn’t bored for a second. Haha!

Ahh, I guess I’ll have to try and get to D23 now! Let me know if ya’ll thinking about going too! I’m sorry my pics of the guide weren’t great LOL my phone’s awful. 

[clear-cristal]

tbh me

i started believing in god when i was 5 or 6, my aunt had a little patient , it was dying and she asked me and my mom to pray for him, that night we did it, then my mom fell asleep , but i couldnt and it was the first time i prayed for myself , at the next day the kid was like new ,and i think that was the day my faith was born

i used to have self esteem problems at the age of 15, it was sophmore year , and for me every single girl was undeniable prettier, smarter and just better you could say i was empty , i was really depressed and thought of suicided , it was until my friend mily noticed and we looked for help , she was also fucked up

the thruth is i fucking hate when people pity me but sometimes involuntarily i make them do it and i feel like the worse person after that

one of the things it turns me on the most about you is your temper , and maybe its because its exactly one of the things im missing

to be honest , i really try to make things right with you , i really wanna share my life with you , i wanna see all your sides and it really scares me the thought of loosing you, im aware you are imperfect but the more i think about it the closer i want you , the better i wanna become even when i feel like shit

the thruth is ive never liked the taste of the alcohol, never , not even for one day , i guess i just used to drink it to not be the only awkward one not doing it in front of people , it was until a couple months i realized it was dumb

i discovered at a young age how much harm i can cause bc i caused it , it is really scary to think how many bad things you can do and how its so easy to make bad instead of good

im afraid i wont know how to manage money when i get older with real responsabilities

im afraid my dad will probably not see my future kids

the thruth is that there are times when i really dont take care of myself , i dont know why it just happens

the thruth is i get really mad many times and no one notices because i try my best not to show it , but if people knew how picky i actually am all the time they would say im crazy , even you would

the first bar i went was with my father and his ex , i was 18 , so far ive gone to 8 bars since then , and six of them it was in the company of my dad and his girl , the other two, one it was it ali, we got so drunk we both ended on her shower floor just laughing naked , and the other it was for jesus birthday , and to be reeally really sincere , i dont find those places exciting unless you are drunk and well like i said , alcohol is extremely disgustting for my paladar

to be honest , i dont know a lot about politics , it has never been a topic of my interest , just like sports but somehow the way you talk about it captures my attention and even makes me develop a critic, though i dont say out loud because i think you might find it stupid

to be honest i can be very stupid , very emotional , very rancorous, lazy , inmature , i stress over the smallest shit and the worse thing is i stress the people around me , ive failed to people i love leaving them , i admit i wanna do a lot of things but i dont do them cuz im afraid of failure, ive lied , ive wished bad things to people on my head and then regret it, i dont consider myself smart enough for fights and thats why sometimes i say the same bullshit 2000 times , im weak

i believe in curses , my whole family does , i did curse someone once , and something happened

actually the person i admire the most in my family is my uncle , lowkey i hope in the future i can be at least half of the good person he is , there are times when i get sad just remembering i let him down but i also think that it wouldve been worse all the mess i could have done now if i stood on his side

in the things i wanna do before i die

i wanna travel the country if not this one maybe another one in one of those recreative vehicles

i wanna write a book of whatever

i wanna have my own little bussiness preferible one i can manage from home and that only needs me

i wanna go to a country like siria someday and relieve the pain of many people

i wanna get married ,and wear a super princess white dress and record the whole thing

i wanna fix my teeth

i want a small wood house in the middle of a mountain or near of a private river

love myself

so far those are things i dont speak out loud , maybe theres more but are not on my head , i dont wanna hide anything from you , ive done things i know arent right and ive regret them sincerely , i just wanna make things right with you and with myself , being honest im really hurt for the situation we are in , specially when you tell me stuff like the ones you told me earlier, im just trying to redimn myself for that thing i did wrong and that is pushing you away , i want you to trust me , i want arfel back

[colorfulsuitdestiny-blog]

Curryville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 16631

"Curryville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 16631

Curryville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 16631

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Curryville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 16631

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Curryville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 16631

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Im 18 but my car and insurance is still under my mom. I dont want her to find out... but will she? Lol. Is there anthing I can do so she wont find out?!? :))

How can I make my car insurance quotes cheaper?

I am a 21 year old, married, female driver; with no ncb and a fresh license (only just passed). I'm looking to buy a Fiat Panda 2004, 1.2L automatic (insurance group 2)...the cheapest quote I've found for this car is 1300 and that was using moneysupermarket.com I've tried other search engines such as compare the market and go compare; and insurance companies like diamond and sheila's wheels and have been quoted anywhere between 1600 and 3000! I've also tried adding my husband or my mum to the policies, but this only increases the price... Can anyone recommend any other site or insurance company to try? And please don't just comment to criticise on my choice of car as I'm not interested. Thanks :)""

17 year old student Car Insurance for a Ford Fiesta 1.25 or a 1.4 climate 2004-2005?

Insurance for a Ford Fiesta 1.25 or a 1.4 climate 2004-2005 I need reasonable car insure I have no no claims bonus and I am new driver. I have been quoted around 4000 fully com on a 4000 car. My budget for insurance is around 1400 full or third party. I am an A level Law student I will going to uni next year and I might use the car to commute to there

I just got a new car and was wondering what is the cheapest insurance?

I just got a new car and was wondering what is the cheapest insurance? I need some cheap Insurance that won't charge alot besides USAA is there anyone else out there that will give me a good price I am currently 20 years old and I need a good insurance company that wil not charge alot besides USAA I have a dodge stratus 2004 it's a V6 it's an SE it's a 4 door and 2.7 liters it's the biggest engine you can get with a stratus anyways if any of you could help me out that would be great thanks.

How many point is taking off on my license when I get point on driving without insurance?

I was wondering on how many point do i get off from my driver license when I driving without insurance on my car

Auto insurance question -- Florida?

My daughter can't really afford the insurance on her car; it's a 2003 Jetta and if she keeps it she will probably have to do a certain amount of repairs. Right now she has full coverage but is considering dropping the collision to lower the cost. If, God forbid, she should get into an accident without collision coverage, could she sue the other driver to repair or replace the car? Would she be likely to be successful? I am not hopeful of anything like that happening, believe me, but you just don't want to lose your investment especially if you have spent a lot on repairs. Thanks in advance for any insights.""

""Compare Car Insurance for mazda 3, Where?

how much would car insurance be for a 2009 mazda 3.

Really expensive insurance for new 16yo driver?

Hi, I'm 16 years old and I passed my driving test on Jan 23, 2014. I want to get insured asap and be added onto my fathers policy. Our insurance guy told us it would be around a MASSIVE $400 a month at the CHEAPEST!! Near $2,000 per 6 months, this can't be serious can it? Is our insurance referral ripping us off? My friend said it should be around $150 a month. ALSO.. Is it possible to get my own policy on my own at 16 and not be added to my dad's policy? I live in a SMALL town, Palm Springs in California. It's not like I'm in LA..""

Car Insurance and Registered Owners?

I have recently bough a car and I am the registered owner and keeper of the car on the documents. As this is my first car and I am under 26, my insurance quote was very high, so as the car will be driven by me and my boyfriend he is the primary driver and i am the second driver on the insurance policy. Does the primary driver also have to be the registered owner for an insurance company to pay out?!""

Motorcycle Insurance?

If i accidentally knock over my bike, will insurance cover that? if so, which coverage covers it?""

Where can I find cheaper car insurance quotes?

I'm 17 in a few months, have a car, and have been checking insurance quotes. From my previous experience of quotes from Churchill, Quinn-Direct, Directline etc. it doesn't cost much, if at all, to insure on my provisional license with hopes of changing the policy to insure me on a full license in the future. I have got a 1997, 3 door, 5 seater, diesel peugeot 106 with a 1.6 litre engine and the best insurance quote I have recieved so far was from Quinn, but they have recently stopped insuring in the UK so I won't be able to use it when I am 17...They gave me a quote of around 800 whereas everyone else are offering me 1,500. Does anyone know of any other companies who can give me cheaper comprehensive cover? Thanks for any answers""

What is the cheapest car insurance ?

Right what it is , i lost my license for a CD10, Which is driving without due care and attention , Yes i know what you are all thinking and i have learned my lesson, I appreciate that i do have to pay loads more on insurance but my question is does anyone know a company who does cheap insurance for a convicted driver, Many Thanks in advance""

Two car insurance policies?

very sorry if this is confusing for people to read but please try and help me out as i have confused myself =\ I have 1 years no claim bonus, and if idon'tt claim till May then i will have two years no claim. i am going to buy another car in a few days and tend to open a new car insurance Policy (Februaryy ). when it comes to may and the first carpolicye has finish. i shall not be driving that car no more. but when it comes to Febuary, will it mean that i have 3 years no claims ? even though i have been driving 2 years 9 months,,

Car insurance in massachusetts?

im gonna buy a $700(ive checked it out its a good deal, shutup) 1996 honda civic dx(its a first car, i hate hondas but im not rich like half of the assholes that are gonna make fun of me for getting a honda) anyway i live in massachusetts and i know insurance will be a variable but does anyone know how much itll be when i start driving? thanks""

California Medical for teens?

I am 19 & i have no insurance at all and i was wondering if theres a way to get on the Medi-caid or medi-cal that the state offers to usually younge kids or pregnant women? can someone give me info?

How would i go on my parents car insurance? and how much cheaper than being on my own insurance would it be ?

how would i go on my parents car insurance? and how much cheaper than being on my own insurance would it be ? first decent answer gets 10 points:)

Would car insurance be more on a newer 2-door red sports car or an older 4-door sedan BMW?

Basically, I am a 20 year old college student and I am going through the proccess of buying a car. I have some family friends helping me out. They told me I could get financed for a 2006 red 2 door sports car but I am still on my parents insurance and I don't want it to skyrocket. I will be paying for my car but I don't want to make my parents pay a ridiculous amount for my insurance. I would just like to know which one is more likely to be cheaper...""

Received ticket for failure to report accident if found guilty will this make my insurance pay out void?

Was in one vehicle accident car written off insurance paid Still have court for failure to report accident need to know if found guilty will I have to pay the insurance company back

""What is the best learner motorcycle, cheap on insurance and good quality?""

I am looking to learn how to ride a motorcycle and am looking for a bike that is easy to learn, cheap to run, cheap on insurance and a good ride. Are older bikes cheaper? Are some brands better on insurance than others? Thanks.""

I got into a minor accident and decided not to get it fixed so the insurance company is sending me out a check?

but with the lien holders name attached, how does this work?""

How much would insurance be for a first time driver thats 19?

im gonna buy a brand new 2012 volkswagen gli thats 25k and its my first car and was wondering what would the insurace cost monthly for me

How much would an 1996 Acura Integra GSR 2door insurance cost for me?

Im 19 years old, in college living in Los Angeles and i want to buy a GSR Integra. And i want to know Approximately how much Insurance would cost for me? ...Thanks.""

I do not have regular health Insurance?

I regularly go for activities like white water rafting. Is it possible to buy cover for injuries from such activities on per event basis?

What insurance plan is most affordable and supports therapy?

Hi, I've been seeking good therapy since I was 17, I'm just wondering, what insurance plan is the most affordable as well as obviously covers therapy? Thank you""

Curryville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 16631

Curryville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 16631

What company provides a life insurance quoting engine software to install in an insurance agency website?

I need a software where I can input one (or more) life insurance company rates. Preferably if I have the freedom to input any company and not pre-packaged ones. Thanks.

Whats cheaper car insurance or moped insurence?

im 20 and doing my lessons soon i do want to have a car but they are really expensive to run , do u think i should just stick to a moped and wait till i get a lil older plus how much on average is it to run a moped compered to a car including petrol+ insurance Only:)""

Insurance and Stepchildren?

I've been doing some research and have been able to find very little information on this topic. My husband and I got married recently and with our combined incomes, my son would no longer qualify for Medicaid (which had previously been his insurance). My husband asked his employer (who carries Aetna) if he could add his stepson and they told him yes, absolutely, they just needed his birth certificate, SS#, and a copy of our marriage certificate. We provided all these documents, and then they told us we needed to cancel his current insurance and provide proof of cancellation before they could cover him - which seemed strange to me, because I've had Medicaid as secondary insurance in the past, but we complied. We provided them with the letter saying that his coverage would be terminated effective June 1st. Hubby asked HR if everything was in place, and they said yes - as of June 1st, when his Medicaid expired, they would pick up coverage. Then yesterday (June 7th), HR approached my husband and told him that an Aetna representative called them and said that they can NOT cover his stepson unless I, the biological mother, am also on the insurance. This was NEVER mentioned to us previously and they knew he was not planning to add me as well - we never provided any of my documentation or information. I called Aetna and they told me that HR at the place of employment are the ones who determine this policy, and HR is telling us that it's the insurance company. So now my son is completely without coverage when they TOLD us that it would begin on the 1st. I have no interest in switching my insurance - I am covered under my parents' policy and it is very good. I am currently pregnant and I know my OB takes my current insurance and they have already preapproved all prenatal care and the birth. I might have considered switching if absolutely necessary had we known ahead of time, but we didn't, and now his insurance has lapsed as a result. So my question is - in my research, I came accross Obama's Affordable Care Act, which I know is the one that requires insurance companies to cover children until they are 26 and is the same reason that my parents' insurance company covers me. I read a couple different places that this same law also applies to stepchildren. So, under this law, is my husband's insurance required to cover my son?""

Can someone please tell me why used Audi's or so cheap?? Can someone help me pick which used car to buy!?

2003 BMW 325I 84K Miles $10,900 2002 Audi S4 64K Miles $10,900 2005 Audi A4 1.8T AWD 79K Miles $10,900 2006 Honda Civic EX 1.8 75K Miles $10,900 2003 Infiniti G35 sedan 64K Miles $10,900 insurance is no problem, all these are clean car fax, clean title, all under KBB value, the infiniti is $3,000 under value, the rest are about $1000 under value. Any ideas why Audi are so cheap? im just looking for about a 10-11,000 car with low miles. Which should i pick?""

How much would it cost to insure a Dodge Stealth?

I was looking at Dodge Stealths but I am afraid it would cost to much money to insure being I am 17. I'm not talking about the Twin turbo version, I mean the base (which has about 125hp), the ES (about 222hp), or the R/T(same as ES but also has a turbo charger). The car weighs about 2500lbs i believe (if that even matters), also I would not be getting any upgraded body kits for it. Please don't just say a lot or something to that extent. Thank you for your time.""

What insurance is available for those who are between ages 18-24 and can't qualify for Medicaid?

Any low cost health insurances out there?

How much would a car insurance be for a 18 years old?

How much would a car insurance be for a 18 years old?

How cheap could i get insurance?

im 17, gonna be 18, no parking violations tickets or accidents whatsoever. the reason i ask is because the state i live in requires insurance.""

Best health insurance?

Im looking for a great health insurance. One that is reasonable with cost. My location is kansas if it matters.

Health Insurance for a College Student in California?

I am a 19 year old who is a full time student in college. I just moved out of my parents home a while back and well I dont have Health Insurance. I'm in desperate need to see a doctor and as well as a Gyno due to menstruation problems and I tried applying for Medical but on the application it said i couldnt go further unless I was a pregnant person or have children. I just need a affordable plan. Any suggestions for a new-adult?

Which Car Insurance is cheaper at the state of NJ?

I tire of riding in public transportation, I had my licend 1 year ago but the thing is that I am 21 years old and almost a new driver and I want to get the Cheaper option for me. I dont have the car yet but if i found a insurance that fix for me buy it will not be a problem. Let said that i buy a car from Honda 2000. I want something with the basic, i know it going to be hard for my age but their is no impossibe.""

Can insurance companies automatically add new drivers to an existing policy?

I had my g1 (permit) and got my g2 (license). I called the insurance company to get a quote of how much more it is going to cost my dad (which is what I'm going to have to pay) and they are telling me that I have to notify them that my license is now a g2 class. They can't quote me until he calls them (he's at work) when my dad calls to confirm then they will change it automatically and add me. But I don't have a choice if I want to add or not (If I don't like the rate) can they forcibly add me to a policy even if I don't agree with the rate? kinda tricky to explain but I hope you understand what I'm saying and if not then I will add additional details as necessary.

Do I have to have car insurance?

I use to own a car and had insurance I now sold the car and drive a company car 100% of the time. I called my insurance guy and told him to cancel it and he says that Illinois has a state law that says I have to have insurance on a car since I live at home with my parents and everyone in the house has a car. I could potentially get in to one of there cars and be uninsured. I told him I don't cuz I still a car with company insurance he said I have to have a policy with my name on it by law is this true?

""If u wrote-off a $5000 car, on average how much would ur insurance company give you back?""

If u wrote-off a $5000 car, on average how much would ur insurance company give you back?""

When You Buy Car Insurance On The Internet..?

You know when you buy Car Insurance, is it immediate effect? or do you have to wait a certain amount of time until you can go out and drive?""

How much would I pay for car insurance?

Im 19 and I was just wondering what would be a good estimate for how much I would pay for car insurance on like a normal sedan.

Can anyone recommend a good car insurance company?

I'm just looking for some quotes at the moment. To narrow it down: I've been driving for 4 yrs. No accidents. Gieco, State Farm, and All State are not available in my area. Anyone have any experience with any other good car insurance agency?""

Does anyone have recommendations for low-cost health insurance in CA? I can't afford Tonik any longer.?

I am an unemployed healthy 20-something paying around $150 a month (with a high deductible).

If you have two insurances...?

We have two medical insurances on our children. Should there still be a copay? Should having 2 insurances cancel out the copay?

How much will my insurance go up after a minor accident and a aspeeding ticket?

I live in California and in the past 4 months I got in a Fender bender(10MHP and the Guy is claiming bodily injuruy awell.) and In November I got a speeding ticket. But I am unable to attend traffic school cause I fought the ticket. I'm 19 My moms the main insurer on the car and its a sports car. Any idea how much will my insurance will go up? Any Ideas? I might have to sell my car if its too much. I have insurance through Geico.

Will my car insurance pay for surgical weight loss surgery?

i live in michigan and have no fault benefits. i was involved in a car accident 2 years ago and lost my leg resulting in weight gain and need to stabilize my weight to wear prostheis. my doctor wants me to get the surgery and has scheduled an appointment with the weight loss clinic.

Car insurance question?

I recently passed my test, and was looking at car insurance quotes and they're all pretty expensive. I was wondering if I were to just wait until I'm about 23 or 24 before I purchase a car, would the insurance be cheaper, even if I didn't have any driving experience? Thanks in advance.""

Auto insurance limits of liability ?

How high should I reasonably set my liability limits. From what I can tell my current Auto policy limits are $25k and $50k. That seems a bit low to me. My friend said he has $100k and $300k. What do you suggest. We are an average income family, and currently drive and Escalade ESV, and a G35 coupe(Nothing like living beyond your means, you only get one shot at this thing right?).""

I am looking for health insurance for my 9 year old son and i?

in the state of tennessee. any suggestions for max coverage, min cost and no hassles. we were on cigna with my wife but she is now on disability, brain cancer and cobra is killing us. thanks and merry christmas.""

""What company can I use to purchase private dental insurance in Seattle, WA?""

which dental company can I use to purchase affordable dental care privately, not through an employee? For anyone age 18 and over and would cover basic dental visits and surgery such ...show more""

Curryville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 16631

Curryville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 16631

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/small-business-insurance-quotes-australia-gregory-roberts/"

[viralhottopics]

Detained on Nauru: ‘This is the most painful part of my story when you realise no one cares’

In this excerpt from the book They Cannot Take the Sky, Benjamin talks about his years detained on Nauru, and his undying hopes for the future

Benjamin was taken to Nauru in 2013 with his family. He told the first part of this story on Christmas Day 2014. He is still on Nauru.

You just have to cope with it

We were in Offshore Processing Centre compound number 3 the family compound in the Nauru detention facility for a year and three weeks. In that time lots of things happened between us and Wilsons, the security guards running the camp, especially with my father because everyone trusted him. So if problems happened, people would tell my father and my father would try to help. But after a couple of months the Wilsons tried to somehow punish us as a family, you know, for just simple things. One day my father was in the line for food and the Wilson didnt let him go inside he sent another family in rather than us. My father tried to just talk to them but suddenly they called the police. Police came and they sent my father straight to custody.

My father had a stroke when he was in custody. Hes a little better now, after four or five months, but hes still really not able to use the left side of his body very well.

Because of the stroke, they sent my father alone to Darwin. They gave us a time to visit just before he left. There was a neck brace around his neck and he was in a wheelchair. I could just see him for 15 minutes and then they took him away and sent him to Darwin. I was 18 at that time and my sisters were all minors. There wasnt a guardian for us, but they let us be inside a camp. My sisters, they all got lots of problems. They couldnt sleep at night. Me either.

I went to the psychologist and I told her, Ive got these types of problems, and she said, You just have to cope with it. You cannot go to where your father is. You just have to wait until he comes back. I warned them that if they didnt give me any answer at least tell me how my father is I would suicide, and she laughed at me and said, Go, do what you want to do. And so I cut my wrists and my hand, because I couldnt control it anymore. It was too much for me. And the funny thing is, they didnt care. They said, If you keep trying to do this we will send you to the custody too.

My sisters came and they saw lots of blood coming out of my body and they called Wilson.

When my father heard that I cut myself, he did his own protest. He sat in the wheelchair and he didnt eat, he didnt move, he didnt drink anything.

Im still feeling that Im not a human

After this, things happened to my father too. When he first went to Darwin he was in the family camp. He was a single male but he was in the family camp. I had a friend over there in the family camp who was looking after him. I was little bit OK because I knew my friend was helping, but after my fathers protest they sent him to the single camp. In the single camp he was totally alone. There was nobody to help him. When I heard this I tried to talk to immigration about it and tell them that this was not fair, what theyre doing to my father, that my father needs someone to help him. But they didnt answer me, they just forgot about it.

Children play near a fence at Naurus Australian-run detention centre.

After two months they sent my father back here, to Nauru. He was still the same. In that time they didnt do any medical checks for him. He was just wasting his time over there. My case manager came and said, Your father is back in Nauru. I was so shocked and a little bit happy too because I thought that maybe hes OK. I went to OPC1 with my sisters to see him. I was sitting there with my sisters, talking with them, and suddenly one of the cultural advisors came his name was Darryl and he told me, Your father has to go back to the gaol. I asked him, Why? I tried to tell them it was against the rules if someone is not medically well, you dont put them in custody but they didnt care. I said, If you want to take my father you have to take me too because I need to look after him.

My father was in custody for three days and they just let me be with him only for one night. After that we went to OPC1. We were there for months. They kept sending my father to court for what had happened, just for a simple argument. We just kept going to the court, every day, and at the end of it they found that my father was not guilty and they sent us back to OPC3.

For now I dont have any plan for my future because I am still feeling that I am captured. Im still feeling that Im not a human. Im still thinking about whats happened in the past. I cant think about what I am now, and what Ill do in the future.

I just need to get my freedom first, then Ill try to find my way somehow.

Nearly two years later, in October 2016, Benjamin continued his story.

We have beautiful dreams, but everything has been ruined

Im still here.

I came here when I was 18 and now Im nearly 22 years old. I wasted all of the best time in my entire life, the time that I was about to make my future happen, the time that I promised myself I would study hard and become the best. But I couldnt, because of the Australian government.

Five months ago, my neighbour, his name was Omid, he burnt himself right in front of my eyes. We have beautiful dreams, we have beautiful futures, but everything has been ruined. We are all exhausted.

That day, my neighbour Omid, he burned himself in front of me and I still cannot forget it. Omid was a good person. I still feel unhappy, I still feel stressed about him. I still punish myself, Why didnt I make him stop? But I didnt know that he was gonna do it, and he did it in front of me. He burned himself. I tried to go and put the fire out on his body, but I couldnt do it and he died. And I still punish myself because I think that if I was a bit smarter I could have saved him.

Omid Masoumali, a 23-year-old Iranian refugee who set himself alight in protest outside a refugee compound on Nauru. He died in a Brisbane hospital on 29 March 2016.

When the UNHCR people came to our settlement to talk to refugees, Omid and his wife were the first ones they met.

I dont know what happened but I just saw that Omid and his wife went to their house and after like five to 10 minutes Omid came back and he was soaked in petrol and he was shouting, Im tired and we are all tired and I cannot take it anymore.

He was actually complaining to the government of Australia.

Its enough. Whatever we have suffered in all these years, it is enough, for we are innocent people. Were not terrorists. We are innocent people and we were just seeking freedom.

And then he just turned the lighter on and set himself on fire. I ran to him and tried to put him out with blankets but I … he was still conscious when we took him to hospital. He was there, he was having so much pain. The hospital here is a very, very bad hospital. When this kind of incident happens, the Australian government asks for an ambulance aeroplane to come to Nauru immediately, but for Omid it took like 12 hours or more than that. He was suffering from the pain and no one could help him. The ambulance came late and he died. After he got back to Australia, the Australian government didnt even pay for the body to be transferred to Iran. Omids family paid for that.

He burned himself to show it around the world, to big countries, that there is no hope, there is no happiness, there is no life here.

Refugees and asylum seekers on Nauru protest their indefinite detention by the Australian government.

This is not a place that I can live

The payments that we receive from the Australian government are very low. We get just $200 each per fortnight which is not enough for all of us, you know. Living here is very expensive. The food and everything is all imported from Australia. You have to spend all your money just buying your food.

We are still having stress about water. When we were in the camp we were having problems with showering we only had a right to shower for three minutes and now we are outside we still have those problems. Just today they told us that theres a shortage of water so you have to be careful with it. We were protesting and they sent me to court for unlawful assembly, which I dont understand. I should have a right to make a peaceful protest so I can tell the world that this is not a place that I can live. We are desperately seeking other powerful countries to help us and release us from this inhuman policy. This is the most painful part of my story when you realise no one cares.

I wanted to study. I put myself into danger coming to Australia. My main requirement was having freedom freedom of speech, a society where people respect human rights. My plan was to study hard. I had finished my diploma of pure maths and physics, but I wanted to study more … maybe civil engineering or electrical engineering. But with all these punishments in these three years I became so lazy I cannot even read a book right now.

I always try to forget the bad incidents that happened to me before, so I just go to the gym. Try to lose some energy so I can relax. Its not a very good gym, but at least it is something. This is the best vocation you can have: going to the gym and coming back home.

I always try to be charming

My dad is much better … he is physically good now. But mentally hes worse than before. Most of the time he is at home and not doing anything, because there is nothing to do. He feels guilty because he is thinking, I have ruined my childrens future.

There is a very, very cold relationship in every family here. I mean, you get frustrated very quickly. You cannot talk fairly and make good decisions, because your mind has been punished a lot. Our life is like this, you know? We are unhappy so everything goes in a bad way. For example, I always try to keep my family motivated. I always say, like, Im 100% sure that in 2017 we are gonna get out of this island. I always say this. Every month Ill say that next month there will be good news from the immigration department of Australia. I always try to motivate them, but they always say, No, its an illusion.

Ill try to do something, but it always turns out that I make it worse because I have hope. They say, No, you lied to us. My sisters always say, You lied to us last year. You told us that we were gonna go out of here in 2015, but we are still here and its 2016. These kinds of things.

The Australian immigration minister, Peter Dutton. Photograph: Mick Tsikas/AAP

We talk about immigration, we talk about whats gonna happen, we read all the media. We try to make our own observations from there. It always turns out that we discuss it for two hours and we finish in a very unhappy mood. I have to say, we have those conversations every day. [Laughs.]

Sometimes time goes very quickly, but sometimes, it really kills you. Like when we reach the end of the year, because we expect something magical, like at Christmas … that Santa brings a gift. We wait to see if maybe Mr Peter Dutton will announce something that we have wanted to hear for all these years. But it never happens. [Laughs.]

I usually dont show my pain or my frustration to my family. I try to keep it to myself. Whenever I go inside our room, I always try to be charming. This is what I do, I always try to keep the energy up, because I dont like to upset them. I am upset, but I never show it.

If I want to be honest, the only thing that I enjoy is going to gym and coming back home. But my family doesnt enjoy that. My sisters want to go to a decent shopping mall, buy some good food, buy some good clothes. Or maybe they want to go to a cinema, or a zoo. But the only entertainment that we have here is just drinking alcohol. Forget whats happening and just get drunk for a night.

I have good friends here, even Nauruan friends. The Nauruans I hang out with, they really understand our situation and most of them have been studying in Fiji and Australia. They are qualified people and they respect humanity. When you hang out with them, you enjoy it, because they dont get insulted if you say something about the governments of Nauru or Australia. These two governments have created all these traumas. The people are innocent, you know?

The problem with my refugee friends is we cant really tolerate each other anymore. I mean, we live here without excitement. We see each other every day, talk about the same old things. We get tired of each other. Im not saying this in a bad way, but this is a human being you feel discouraged. Seriously, we dont have anything to say to each other anymore! We know everything, whatever happened from when hes born until now. Its like time has been stopped.

Photographs of Australian-run asylum seeker detention facilities on Nauru. Photograph: Google / Remi Chauvin

It will be like Im reborn

My situation has changed. Ive learned how to be strong and keep myself motivated, so Im not doing any self-harming and suicide. Sometimes the Australian government makes me worse. For example, when Peter Dutton says refugees are uneducated, or Scott Morrison says we need to live here forever so Australias borders are safe and sound. I just try to heal my pain so I dont get really out of control. I have learned that even if I … did something crazy to myself, nothing will change. I just have to make myself healthy, so if I get out of here I could try to show the Australian government that Im not a bad person, Im actually a very useful person, and a very successful person. And Im surely gonna do that.

I have read books about what successful people have done in their lives. For example, Mahatma Gandhi, Barack Obama, and also, Larry Page, founder of Google, and all of those people. So many people I cannot count them [laughing]. Ive read their books, Ive learned from them with all the struggles they had, they could still manage their lives and become successful.

The cover of They Cannot Take the Sky Stories from Detention.

Im sure that one day Im going to get out of here and reach my main goal, which is freedom. Yeah, I imagine I will enter a country where there are more opportunities, so I can improve myself, I can improve my education. I will start my new life it will be like Im reborn. Itll be a very big event. Im sure its going to happen and it will be soon. It will be very soon.

Benjamin is still living in Nauru. He told his story to journalist Karl Mathiesen in December 2014 and Michael Green in October 2016. Mathiesen had travelled to Nauru posing as a snorkelling enthusiast and covertly spoke to refugees who had been released into the community. Additional editing by Angelica Neville and Andr Dao.

This is an edited extract from the book They Cannot Take the Sky Stories from Detention, edited by Michael Green, Andr Dao, Angelica Neville, Dana Affleck and Sienna Merope, and published by Allen & Unwin.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2oaHipY

from Detained on Nauru: ‘This is the most painful part of my story when you realise no one cares’

[rossl32123]

Delivering Sea Whisper - 11 Jan 17

Starting a blog of our trip when already halfway through it might not work, but people keep insisting I write something down.

Perhaps I should start with the day we left Brisbane, although this story began a long time before that.

The 8th of January was a nice lazy summers day and we had little planned for it, other than to do some familiarization on the boat. After spending a couple of hours visiting all the lockers in the aft cabin, sighing regularly, and replacing all the equipment found therein, we decided to take the RIB for a run. A swim somewhere was also planned so we grabbed our swim gear, nothing essentially useful like Life jackets, water, sunscreen, flares or radio, and proceeded to launch the tender.

Launching the tender isn’t easy, it is very heavy and needs to be lifted quite high to get it over the granny bars and safety rail. The technique I chose to use was to utilize the main halyard and a mast winch to lift the boat while Hunter maneuvered it between the shrouds and over the side. Half way over a stanchion dug into the underside of the hull and the whole arrangement tipped alarmingly to port. Suddenly it slipped off and the extra weight on the halyard ripped it out of my hands. It wasn’t elegant but it was launched!

Some quick lessons followed on the easiest way to keep the boat roughly near the dock so that we could get in it, followed by a paddle over to the fueling station. Here we discovered how hard it is to row an RIB. Once fueled Hunter rowed us back to the boat by sitting on the stern sheet and paddling backwards. This raised a comment from a passing yachtie along the lines of how poor our technique was, to which we retorted along the lines of the relative advantages to be gained by being able to see where you are going.

We collected our gear then motored out of the marina to Moreton Bay. Another lesson occurred here, the boat wouldn’t get up on the plane when I gave it the berries. The bow came up like doing a good wheelie, the prop quickly cavitated and we went nowhere. Hmm. If this is a story about recognising a problem and thinking through to a workable solution, then this was just another one of those in a long chain of problems to solve when you buy a boat. My poor bus driver brain has had a hammering since this day. A quick look over the back confirmed that the motor wasn’t right down on the mount and we were off. After blasting around for an hour or so we decided the best place to swim wasn’t anywhere near Scarborough, so we headed back to the boat.

About 300mts short of the marina the engine died. I thought it had seized so I didn’t bother to look any further, grabbed the oars and started rowing. It was a long and slow journey!

Once we had the boat back out of the water I decided to remove the big motor to the sail locker, another challenge for the day. Using the same technique as with the main halyard, only this time using the spinaker halyard we wrestled the beast into the locker, where it currently rests, awaiting service and repair, or replacement. I have yet to flush it out, no idea how but I have found the on deck fresh water outlet, the hose and the muffs, just haven’t worked out how to make the water move.

At this point we decided to forget the swim and instead of an early morning high tide departure, we would catch the high that afternoon. We made our preparations, like tying down anything that moved (we didn’t do so good on that score), kissed our loved ones goodbye forever, cast off our lines and departed Brisbane. Much discussion went into that procedure, and fortunately the gods were on our side because up to this point I had not handled the boat, in fact I had not handled anything even remotely the size of Sea Whisper. So we blessed our luck and taking our guidance from Navionics, motored out into Moreton Bay.

The breeze was steady and light from the SE, so I waited until we had a good long run out to the main channel before raising a sail. Fortunately it all went fairly smoothly, so I tried for two sails, and then sat on my luck at that point. It was a glorious evening, the sea was flat, cruise ships were steaming past, and we were slipping along at 6kts very nicely. At the first course change we had to tack to Port, simple you would have thought, but I had no idea what was going to happen. We got around, but it wasn’t pretty.

As night closed in I lost my nerve with the sails and got them down. We were headed into a narrow channel that wasn’t very deep, and I knew at the other end of it we would have to head directly into the breeze. At this point we also came out of the shelter of North Stradbroke Island, so the lumpy bit started. This was probably where our first real problem began, with the rocking and rolling the main halyard let itself loose to fly free momentarily, then to fall to earth, wrapped in the embrace of the main mast back stay, where it was destined to remain.

It was a long night of motoring. I had known it would be due to the forecast winds not backing until the morning. It is amazing how much stability you lose when sails come down, with only the motor driving us it was akin to being inside a washing machine. The noise coming from below sounding very much like an all in bar brawl, I could have sworn that everything in the boat was loose and crashing from one side of the boat to the other. We couldnt stand watches because Hunter wasn’t confident in keeping the boat on a course, and as it was there was very little to steer by. Most of the night I spend standing on the main sheet traveller track holding onto the back end of the cockpit roof, whilst steering with my feet. That way I could see the stars and pick one or two to guide me. This was fine, whilst the cloud kept away, then I would have to pick something else. There wasn’t much. At one point I chose some lights on the shore, but they turned out to be a ship coming the other way.

Eventually the dawn came and I realised the mainsail wasn’t going up and we were both exhausted, and although neither of us had thrown our stomachs to the fishes, we’re weren’t feeling like we could take a lot more, so we opted to head for the Gold Coast where we finally pulled in around 3 in the afternoon. Hunter drove us down the sea way to an anchoring spot, and thence round in circles for a while while I tried to figure out how to drop the pick. Another challenge met and overcome. I was expecting to see distance marks on the chain to tell you how much was out, Lionel had given me his colour coding, but all I saw was rust. Having no idea how much was out of the locker made me a bit nervous, but we were holding, and I was too tired to care. We got her ship shape above and below, before I totally ran out of steam. As Hunter did most of below I wasn’t aware of the worst of the cabin brawl, although I did note a few odd things lying around without a home.

I slept the rest of the afternoon, although I tried to get up twice. Finally I gave in and headed for bed.

Next day, after I recovered the lost halyard, we decided on an excursion to the shops to restock some vital things like water and Qwells. I had only brought 1 pack of 12, and Hunter thought he needed more so I got another 3 packs. Hmm. He got himself another pair of sunnies after the pair he brought with him mysteriously disappeared in the back of a cab, and we shopped in Coles for fruit and vegetables, and a chicken for me. It was a long haul back from the end of the bus route to our tender (we could have parked closer!), in the heat and humidity, so we couldn’t wait to get into the water for a swim and shower. To do that we needed to empty one or the other of the showers that were both filled with gear. Half of it we managed to fit in the other shower, and half on one side of my bed, which turned out to be quite useful, saved me having to put up the lee board.

The swim was glorious and cheered us up no end. A neighbor yachtie rowed over when he noticed our Canadian flag. I might leave it up, it seems to be a bit of a conversation starter.

Hunter prepared us nice wraps for tea and we headed off again on the tide for Yamba. Once again Hunter took us out down the sea way and out into the Tasman. Having just spoken to Brian on the phone, and suffered his derision at losing the mainsail halyard, bugger me it happened again, only this time it floated away so far behind us that I could not recover it. Finally I realized that the only way to get it back was to turn back toward the sea way so that it would drop closer to the boat and I managed to get it back with the boat hook. Unfortunately it had taken a lap over the triatic stay, which in turn meant I had to climb the mizzen mast to pass it back over. For some reason I wasn’t frightened about it, even though it was a very dangerous thing to do, but it was certainly the most difficult thing I have done possible in my entire life. It took all of my strength to cling on to the top of that mast while I gyrated around like an olive on the end of a swizzle stick.

So finally I got to raise the mainsail, although with night coming on I feared for having anymore sail that the main and the headsail. But what a difference from the night before. With a full moon most of the night, and stars to guide me it was a nice 6 to 7 knot jaunt down the coast to Cape Byron and beyond. By this time I realised that our coarse was setting us well away from the coast as we were running SE and the coast had turned SW, but I was loath to go up on deck in the dark to remove the preventer, then gybe onto a starboard run, to stay within sight of it, so I just kept on till dawn. When I finally bit the bullet to gybe in towards the coast and head for Yamba, I stuffed it up and tore the mainsail. Only a little rip at first, but it didn’t take long to rip right through from leech to luff, just under the first reefing cringle. So down came the main again.

We stood on for Yamba, from about 50nm out, for another hour or so before I decided to bear away for Coffs Harbour. The main reason was that it would mean we had a better chance of getting the sail fixed, and we would be closer to home, but Hunter wasn’t happy with the 8hrs it was going to take to get there.

We saw plenty of shipping, some coming in quite close, and dolphins kept popping up the whole way, at least I saw these things, Hunter was flat out most of the time, particularly after he realised that he could get his head down below without feeling sick anymore. Finally, we got close to Coffs and I could see thunderstorms ahead so decided to take in sail. It got quite scary with the lightning flashing all around and it really chucked it down from time to time. I might have been a bit premature getting the sails in, it took us two hours to motor in, but it did have one very nice positive for me, it gave me time to work out how the auto helm worked. I had thought it was stuffed, because it didn’t turn the wheel, but lo and behold, when you used it properly, she held a fine course. So I used it all the way into harbour.

About this time Hunter started complaining of feeling a little drunk, and he couldn’t read texts on his phone. It wasn’t until some time later that we suspected the Qwells, and having only read the first line of the instructions on the box (take 1 to 2 tablets every 4 to 6 hours), I decided to read the second line. Do not exceed 4 tablets in 24 hours! In the Caution section it said “THIS MEDICATION MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS AND BLURRED VISION. IF AFFECTED DO NOT DRIVE A VEHICLE OR OPERATE MACHINERY”. We laughed at that, he’d been taking them non stop for 3 days. He claims they work quite well. #journeyapp

[allhailqueennel]

My Why

My passion come from a place in my heart and past that im ashamed of. It comes from unmet expectations of me, my laziness, me being ungrateful and my selfishness.

I'm glad that I've grown to this point in my life where i can acknowledge those things but im also dissapointed in myself.

Do yall know where the fuck i could be if i took advantage of the gifts and oppurtunities that were presented to me!? No bullshit I know i would be overseas hoopin. But of coursei woukdnt be Chanel of i didnt find a way to fuck it up. As cliche as it sounds i wouldnt be the person i am today. I would be the most spoiled and privileged bitch ever. I was very rude and disrespected the thoughts of others. Quickly dismissing any thought or person that didnt agree with my thoughts. I had the worst tone and delivery when it cane to communication; and i mostly spoke in a condescending tone to others that i felt werent worthy of my conversation.

Fast forward 3 colleges, 2 full rides playing ball and 3 jobs later i feel as if i have lived two completely different lives.

I went from not paying any bills, not working and not worrying about tuition all by ue way to 4+ years of customer service , several diminished friendships, 2.5 years during the worst mental health period of my life. All to end up staying at my mothers house in my younger sister's room all while sleeping on a twin sized bed. At first i was convinced my lufe was at the lowest point possible but today i know that my circumstances could be a lot worse. In the midst of my sulking of my situation I was offered an oppurtunity that i can honestly say will shape the rest of my life. I got the chance to be assistant coach of the girl's basketball team at my old high school under the leadership of my old summer league coach.

Now i had a little bit of experience with coaching becuase i was a counselor at an overnight sports camp for a few years. During my first sumner I met a group of middle school girls that were in thr 7th grade that i swore were the most annoying and dumb little girls ever. They eventually earned the nickname "little dumb girl" after that firstvcamp session. They couldnt dribble or catch. Hell honestly it seemed like they could barely chew gum and walk at the same time but they gained a special place in my spirit and heart. Fastfoward 6 years and those same lil dumb girls are finishing up their final high school basketball season and everytime I see them I damn near want to hug them and tell them how proud of them I am anf damn near cry my eyes out. I never knew how much love i carried for them in my heart. They have definitely turned into those annoying younger siblings that only you can beat up on but be ready to defend them against the world. Yall these kids went from tripping over there feet to dating and filling out college applications in front of my eyes.

If this is anything parents go through then i am in no way shape or form ready for kids. I often find myself worrying and stressing about them as they transition into adulthood. I worry that i havent taught them enough about responisbility. I worry that they wont love themselves as they should becuase of someone else's thoughts. Or what if they dont think they are good enough forbtheir dreams. Im scared that they will go through the same things i went through. But most of all im terrified that i have spent 6+ years with these young ladies and i didnt make a difference in their life. I would feel so much failure if that was ths case.

Through these few girls i have found what truly makes me happy. Mentoring and coaching these girls has been the most rewarding/productive thing i feel i have done my entire 25 years of living. If this what hapoiness feels like then i am missing it in several other aspects of my life.

I constantly hope that others can find what gives them as much happiness as this position in my life gives me.