#also i hate using ... but i usually use comma comma comma so

[softguarnere]

Memories Feel Like Weapons

Edmund Pevensie x gn!reader

Summary: “People can be different. They can change. You’ve changed.” Gently, you use your pointer finger to hook his chin and turn his face towards you, making him look you in the eye. “You’re a good king, Edmund, and an even better man. A good brother. A good boyfriend. Everyone has forgiven you for what you did as a child.” A/N: What's up, y'all?! It's been freezing these past few days and I hate it! 🥴 So this is for all you other lovelies who are currently being plagued by SAD 🫶🏽 Also, in case it's not clear in the fic, for the purposes of the story, we're just gonna assume that reader's parents also sent them off to the country during the war to stay with the professor, that they met the Pevensie's there, and went to Narnia with them. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! ❤️ Warnings: Edmund has SAD but it's Narnia so it's never actually called that, the author is (once again) overusing commas

As interesting and as magical a place as Narnia is, you’re willing to admit that diplomatic negotiations are something that usually bore you to tears.

You try to take an interest, you really do, for Edmund’s sake. Political wheeling and dealing is his bread and butter. You’re not particularly adept at it yourself. Edmund has tried to explain the finer points to you many times, but it’s not something that you can wrap your head around. But maybe that’s just because you get too distracted thinking about how good looking your tutor is. Sometimes you raise a question or a particular point that you know he’ll jump to answer just to see how passionately he talks about his favorite subject. As far as you know, he hasn’t caught on yet.

Today proves to be different, though.

A chill in the air greets you when you awake. A crackling sound from the corner tells you that a servant has crept in at some point and started a fire in the hearth to stave off the cold. Blinking to adjust your eyes to the light, you’re greeted by the type of cold, white sunlight that announces a wintery morning and the season’s signature magical touch that often appears overnight – snow.

You leap out of bed, gasping when your feet kiss the cold floor. Hurrying to put on slippers, you wrap yourself in a fluffy robe and hurry to the door.

Edmund hates the winter. He hates the snow even more. No one can blame him for that. But you’re the only person he’s confessed this to.

Sure, his siblings might suspect as much. Those first few years in Narnia, no one dared suggest that they play in the snow whenever it arrived, for fear of what it might imply, and for fear of inadvertently upsetting the youngest Pevensie brother. After a few more years, he would find excuses to be tucked away in his library on snowy days, and no one would breathe a word of the fun they had without him while he was around. A delicate subject and a fine dance around it, to say the least.

It was only last winter that Edmund confided in you, and only because you had recently become a couple. He said the winter was hard enough on its own, but the snow brought back too many bad memories, ushered in nightmares so vivid that he sometimes woke up questioning what was real and what wasn’t.

This is going to be a rough day for him, to say the least. Which puts a damper on the mood, since ambassadors from a nearby kingdom are arriving to negotiate trade – something he was so looking forward to.

“Edmund?” Your voice seems too loud for the quiet library, and the echo makes you flinch slightly at the loudness of your own voice, at the desperate quality it holds.

Stepping further inside the room, you listen, and tune into the crackling of the fireplace along the far wall. You follow it until you can see the chairs in front of it, and in one of them, Edmund, slumped over a large tome, asleep.

He’ll have a crick in his neck from sleeping that way, you think. If you hadn’t known why he was here, finding him in his favorite place like this would be sweet. It still tugs on your heartstrings, yes, but in a different, heavier way.

“Edmund?” You gently shake his shoulder before stepping back.

The Just King startles awake, his book slipping out of his lap. His eyes are wide and wild as they flick across the room, struggling to make sense of his surroundings. Finally, they land on you and soften. “(Y/N)?”

“Good morning, sleepy head,” you reply, trying to keep your tone light, casual. “If you say that your neck doesn't hurt after sleeping like that, then you’re a liar.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The painful popping noises that echo from his spine say otherwise, but you let it go. Slowly, he rises, stretches, and then takes a step closer to you and plants a kiss on your forehead. He sighs through his nose. “Today is the day.”

You slip your hand into his, intwine your fingers. “How are you feeling?”

Edmund shrugs. His relationship with his siblings has improved leaps and bounds in all the years that they’ve spent in Narnia, but sometimes he still hesitates to show certain emotions around them, to express himself the way he should. Sometimes it’s easier when it’s just the two of you in a space like this where he’s comfortable.

“I’ll manage.”

“If you’re not feeling up to it – “

He squeezes your hand. “I’ll be fine. It’s just a day that I have to get through.”

“Spring will come again,” you assure him, using the mantra that you often whispered to comfort him through last year’s winter season.

“And we will greet it with open arms and grateful hearts,” he finishes. He attempts a smile, but it looks more strained than usual. “Don’t worry, darling. Everything will be fine.”

. . .

It is almost immediately not fine.

The ambassadors arrive in all their splendor. Fine fabrics and shimmering jewels assure that no one can take their eyes off them as they enter the hall and approach the five thrones. They bow to Peter in the center, to Susan and Lucy on his left, then to you and Edmund on his right. Servants carry golden trunks behind them. They have come to these diplomatic negotiations bearing gifts in the most literal sense.

Though you will all retire to a separate chamber for the actual negotiations, the gift giving is a public affair for the whole court to witness. And because it’s so formal, it’s rather slow.

Strong weapons forged of foreign metals are gifted, followed by clothes of their country’s latest fashions, and small samplings of food for each of you, a different dish for you each to try based on what the ambassadors have heard about you.

Thank goodness you’re a good actress, because the ambassadors seem to think that you really do seem excited to try the food in the bejeweled silver container that they gift to you. In reality, you’re trying your hardest not to grimace at the unfamiliar looking treats inside of it, and trying hard not to become preoccupied wondering if the taste will be as . . . unique as the smell that emits from them.

“And finally, for King Edmund,” one of the ambassadors says with a bow before presenting a silver container to Edmund with a flourish. “I have heard a rumor that you are quite fond of these.”

Thankful for a distraction from the gift in your own hands, you turn your attention to Edmund. Sitting beside him, you are in full view of the show that his siblings are not. You can see the rosy color, the powdered sugar. The Just King’s smile immediately falters. Strong hands clamp the container shut before anyone else has the chance to see what’s inside – Turkish Delight.

For a moment there is nothing but silence, the labored sound of Edmund drawing a breath. It goes on just long enough that his siblings glance at him. Only then does Edmund seem capable of forcing himself to smile, to nod, to thank the ambassador for such a thoughtful gift. If his siblings sense that something might be wrong, they don’t even know the half of it.

Because what has just happened, really? Is this a slight on behalf of the other country’s rulers? Or do they genuinely have no clue the implications of their actions?

As the exchanging of the gifts comes to a close, Edmund coughs into his fist, clears his throat. Does it again. He thumps the flat of his palm against his chest.

Peter turns to him. “Are you alright?”

“I think I just require a bit of fresh air, if you’ll excuse me for a moment,” Edmund replies. He says it far too quickly, and he uses the excuse to dismiss himself from the hall. The silver container that holds the Turkish Delight has been abandoned, left behind on his throne.

It takes everything in you not to race after him, to follow him, to make sure that he’s okay. Instead, you’re stuck helplessly glancing between the doorway that he’s disappeared through and the ambassadors who won’t seem to shut up.

Finally, the niceties end. The other king and queens of Narnia begin to migrate into a separate chamber with the ambassadors to begin the negotiations.

Quickly, quietly, you catch Lucy by the sleeve of her dress and lean in close to her ear. “I’ve got to go find Edmund,” you whisper. “I’m worried about him.”

Lucy’s eyes go wide, but she holds her composure under the watchful eyes of the court and the visiting representatives. “I’ll cover for you,” she whispers back.

As one of the five Narnian monarchs, you don’t technically need anyone’s permission to leave – except maybe Peter’s, since he’s the High King. Still, you’re the only one who’s not a Pevensie sibling, which can sometimes be a little isolating. Knowing that Lucy has your back boosts your confidence as you slip away, heading for the nearest place that you think Edmund might have disappeared to.

A quick search reveals that he’s not in the library. Or the armory, or any of his usual haunts. As a last resort, you duck into his bedroom, and it’s there that you find him, standing before the hearth, staring into the flames. His hand holds the place on his side where the White Witch stabbed him on the battlefield, though the gesture seems absentminded.

“Ed?” You make your voice soft so as not to startle him.

He looks up, eyes wide, surprised anyway – and hurt.

You don’t waste time asking if he’s okay. Instead, you cross the room to meet him in front of the fire. “Oh, Edmund.”

He doesn’t bother lying and saying that he’s fine. That’s how you know it’s bad. When Edmund Pevensie goes quiet, retreats within himself, it means that he’s truly wounded. This is something deep inside of him that aches, that rots.

Not knowing what to do, you take a seat on the rug in front of the hearth. You’re careful not to touch him, trying to offer him the space if he needs it. But he follows your lead and takes a seat, too, which seems like a good sign.

For a while, neither of you speaks. You just sit near each other, staring into the fire. Edmund looks very numb when he finally says, “I didn’t mean to leave like that. I just . . . panicked.”

“No one blames you.”

“Seeing that stupid Turkish Delight – “ He shudders. “I can’t figure out if it was a poor choice given with good intentions, or if it was a slight on my honor, a reminder of what I did.” He frowns. “I suppose to some people I’ll never be Edmund the Just – I’ll only ever be just Edmund, The Traitor.”

“No,” you protest. Space be damned; you grab his hand in yours and squeeze it, like that gesture can also grab his attention, infuse the meaning of what you’re about to say to him so that he cannot ignore it. “Edmund, you’ve changed. You’re not a traitor.”

“Anymore.”

“People forget that I was there, too,” you remind him. “I tried to follow you to Jadis’ castle.”

“That was different. You were trying to stop me from betraying my family.” His brow furrows at the memory. “So I shoved you into a snowbank and ran off without you. And then you went back to Beaver’s the help the others. (Y/N) the Loyal,” he employs the epithet that Aslan gave you, but you can’t be sure why. Because of what you did then? Because you’re here with him now?

“People can be different. They can change. You’ve changed.” Gently, you use your pointer finger to hook his chin and turn his face towards you, making him look you in the eye. “You’re a good king, Edmund, and an even better man. A good brother. A good boyfriend. Everyone has forgiven you for what you did as a child.”

Edmund shakes his head. “But they haven’t forgotten. And I can’t, either, if I’m being honest.” He doesn’t meet your eye when he confesses, “It haunts me, the memories. Every winter.”

“No. But you can do something else.” You pause to make sure that you have his full attention when you make your suggestion. “You can forgive yourself.”

Edmund blinks. As smart as he is, it seems like the thought has never occurred to him before now.

“It doesn’t have to be now,” you assure him. “It’s not an instantaneous thing. Just . . . something to work on. A project. An ongoing one.”

Silence falls between you again as he turns back to the fire. It takes a few moments before he nods, the light shining off his dark hair and his crown.

“I’ll work on it,” he says, resolved. He turns back to you, and when he speaks again, his voice is so unsure, so timid, that you have the sudden urge to hold onto him with one arm and use your other to draw your sword and fend off anything or anyone in the world who might come near and cause him harm. “Can you help me do it?”

You nod. “Of course.”

“Thank you,” he clears his throat, shakes his head. “I’m going to need more than my own forgiveness for being late to these negotiations.” He makes no move to get up. His gaze wanders across the room, as if seeing it for the first time, before landing on the window and studying the portal to the frozen, white world beyond it.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t feel up to it.” Then, trying to lighten the mood, you bump your shoulder against his. “I’m sure Susan and Lucy ganging up on the ambassadors will give them a run for their money.”

Edmund chuckles, settles back on the rug. “Good, because I honestly don’t think I can look into the eye of a person who tried to give me Turkish Delight without hitting him over the head with my sword.”

Even though you’re in a relationship, it’s maybe the most vulnerable that Edmund has ever been with you. He places his head in your lap and stares into the hearth as you card your hands through his dark locks.

“Spring is coming soon,” he mutters, his voice heavy with the sleep that’s trying to catch up with him. “Maybe then I can start over . . . Would be nice to not have to worry about freaking out over a bad gift and embarrassing myself in front of the whole court.”

“Spring will come again,” you remind him, voice soft in case he’s already dropped off to sleep. “And we will greet it with open arms and grateful hearts.” Then, for good measure, you add a new line to aid you through your latest challenge. “And it will allow us to start over.”

[fryktheciller]

rosin and cuddles

charlie dalton x gn!reader

notes: you guys i love charlie so much its getting bad and i kinda hate the violin as a pianist but ravel's string quarted basically begged me to write something inspired by it. also, if you'd like to listen to the piece this is the movement i wrote about. enjoy!!

tw: HEAVY swearing (charlie uses fuck as a comma it's canon) and mentions of weed, sex and orgies

Time moves slowly with the bow in hand. Ravel’s string quartet’s pizzicato really couldn't come out right, or, rather, like you wanted it to sound. The weirdly positioned bow makes your hands hurt, the right index finger all sore and a few steps away from bleeding from the pizzicato’s torture, and the left hand numb from the trillo.

“Why the violin, what did I do wrong with my life?” You whisper to yourself, screwing the first phrase and moving into the “bien chanté” one. Your index on the bow feels like heaven, and the legato and more melodic tempo make your focus shift from the sheet music in front of you to the first drops of rain outside.

Charlie comes in, without knocking, and you breathe a sigh, knowing you’re not going to be able to touch the violin until tomorrow. The perspective of doing nothing all night is both sweet and bitter; practice guilt haunts you even in your sleep.

He walks up to you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your free shoulder.

—You smell good.

—Of what? Rosin and hair?

He doesn’t reply, just a quick peck on your jaw and pulls back as you put down the bow and dismantle the worn out orange shoulder rest. You rest the violin in its case, as November's typical drizzle turns into heavy rain; you put away the scores on an already messy desk and don’t even bother to close and put back the black and old stand. He sits on the bed, watching you with a stupid smile on his face. You turn at him and lay on the bed, taking off your slippers in the meantime and copying his smile. He follows you, and lays on your chest, arms wrapped around your waist. Your hands slide through his hair, raking through the chestnut locks and scratching his scalp. Charlie takes your hand, kisses it, and nibbles on the tips of your fingers, red and marked from the strings.

–Ouch!– you whine.

–You’re being dramatic.

–Look who’s talking.

He doesn’t reply, shifting towards your neck and burning his nose there.

–You smell good.

–Again?

–'m just sayin’, Jesus…

You grin at him, and he replies with one of his own.

–Will you slap me if I try to kiss you?

–Try and see.

He does, pressing his lips against yours and lingering there; you smile and kiss him back.

It quickly becomes a messy French kiss, and you pull away, flushed and breathless.

–I should’ve slapped you.

–You didn’t. Too bad.– he mocks you, his usual grin curving his lips.

You roll on your side, burying your nose in his neck.

–You’re warm, hot, even.

–I’m going to need some elaboration on that sentence.

–Fuck you.

–Right now?– he sighs, mockingly frustrated. –You do realize sometimes it's great just to cuddle?

You let out a fake laugh, and pull back from his neck, sitting up on the bed and crossing your legs.

–Awww c’moooon!– he whines, your absence leaving him a little colder.

–You’re so fucking insufferable. I fucking hate you.

–Are you for real?!

He sits up on the bed, mocking surprise all over his face.

–I thought I was the only one. I really hate you too!!

You grin at him, the hearty laugh of both of you filling the room. Then you lay back down on the bed, still chuckling; he follows you, arms around your waist, and pulls you as close as possible.

You sigh, clinging onto him as well and closing your eyes.

–’m still mad, for the record.

–Sure you are. How’s Ravel going?

–One fucking hell of a bastard. Amazing, though.

–What? The idea or the practice?– he laughs with sarcasm, and you chuckle as well.

–I absolutely love the second movement, but he was such an asshole to write the first violin’s part so hard.

–Drop the violin and pick up the sax.

–Sure, and does the pack include becoming like you?

–Mean like charming, smart, handsome, and, oh so sexy? Of course.

–More like a fucking cunt, a slut, stupid, and hateful?

He laughs, and you follow him.

–But the violin’s so...

–Amazing? Fun to play and listen to? Cunty?

–Oh, so the violin can be cunty, and I can't? This isn't playing fair!

You laugh heartily, while he pouts mockingly.

–Violin reminds me of Cameron.

–And when did it exactly become a bad thing?

He pulls back, eyebrows raised, and a half-smirk curving his lips.

–Are you fucking for real?

–I like Cameron. He helps me with trig.

–If we had a truth detector, it would be red, like communists. Also, why didn’t you tell me you had a thing for degradation?

You chuckle and pull his ear; he hisses and laughs.

–Still, he’s a fucking snitch,– he mumbles.

–Bringing weed into Welton isn’t exactly great.

–It's not like he says anything about cigarettes.

–Weed is on another fucking level, Charlie.

–Wanna blaze tonight?

–Blaze as in “we cuddle until I reach the temperature of the sun”?

–I’ll go and ask Knox, then.

–You’re really so fucking desperate to get high?

–It’s fun. I’ll be in his room, if you change your mind.

–If you two end up having sex, I’m breaking up with you.

–Yeah, and if I cook one meal, I become a chef.

–That’s a different matter.

–How is that—you know what? I’m fucking Overstreet tonight.– And he pulls back, sitting on the bed, looking at the messy wool blankets over the bed, then at you, with an unserious challenging gaze.

–Can I join, though?

An ugly smirk curls his lips.

–What? The Romans didn’t add women to orgies for nothing.

He smirks wider, and you whine.

–Come back here, c'mon.

He obliges, still silent. You chuckle.

–What is it? Are you mad?

–I'm not mad.

You chuckle and peck his lips.

–Were you for real, though?– he mutters with a soft voice.

You pull once again his ear in response. He whines and chuckles.

–Asking wasn’t supposed to hurt!

–And you weren’t supposed to ask, you slut.

–I'm getting hard, I'm telling you.

–Oh my god, Charlie,– you sigh, shaking your head.

–Your fault.

You laugh and shift a little, so you’re facing him directly.

–Sometimes, which is all the time, I wonder how you can say these sorts of things with a straight face.

–Sort of question Cameron would ask. Are you sleeping with him or something?

–Maybe he stole my soul,– you whisper, smirking.

–You’re flattering him. He wouldn’t have the balls to do that.

You shrug and chuckle.

–We always end up talking about him.

–Your fault.

–It’s always my fault, isn’t it?

He nods and pecks at your lips.

–It was your fault we got scolded today.

–You slapped my ass!

–And you were dramatic about it.

You laugh, and he follows you.

–I hate you.

–Are you sure? The truth detector’s kind of red.

You sigh in response and bury your head in the crook of his neck, and he pulls you closer, running his hands through your hair. Your eyelids grow heavy, and you nap a little, listening to the loud rain outside; until he lets out a (purposefully) loud sneeze.

–Oh, fuck you, Charlie.

–You’ve got this ugly, stinky, fucking rosin; it’s not my fault.

–You said I smelled good earlier.

–Earlier.

You sigh again, pulling back a little.

–Did you study history?

–Look at me in the eyes, you tell me.

You chuckle and pretend to be deep in thought while staring at your own reflection in his eyes.

–The stars say yes,– you murmur, in mock seriousness.

–The stars are fucking dumb.

–You swear a little too fucking much.

–Oh, sorry, mom,– he pleads, faking puppy eyes and a pout.

You chuckle with sarcasm and roll on your back, facing the ceiling.

–Me neither, for the record.

–You’re helping me with the test anyway.

–Oh, yeah, like last time, where we ended up in Nolan’s office.

–We got out of there because of that pretty face of yours, though.

–Is it supposed to be flattering?

–Well, is it?

–’m sorry…

He laughs, and you follow him. He shifts, resting in the crook of your neck, and your arms wrap around his neck, scratching his nape.

–You smell good.

–It's the second or third time you’ve told me.

–Oh, well, sorry for not being able to do anything but profess the truth.

–You literally told me “you’ve got this ugly stinky fucking rosin” a second ago.

–You smell good. The rosin’s fucking nasty.

You chuckle, and he smiles against your neck. Your hands move to his scalp, scratching and running through his hair, and his hands slide down your sweater, tracing little circles on the bare skin of your waist.

–You’re so warm,– he whispers, and you kiss his temple in response.

You rest your head on his own, listening to his steady breathing.

–Are you coming tonight?

–It’s raining, and it won’t stop anytime soon.

–Just say you don’t want to come.

–Shut up, Charlie.

–I have a letter for you.

You smile at his words and chuckle a little.

–Sweet.

–Sweet indeed.

–Now tell me, did Todd write it and you copied it with that pretty handwriting of yours?

He chuckles, biting your neck in response.

–I wrote it by myself.

–No need to lie, pretty boy,– you whisper with sarcasm.

He chuckles again, and you go along with him.

Silence falls again, your focus drifting from his breathing to the heavy rain outside.

–You coming, then?

–Only if you carry me there.

He grins and chuckles, actually considering your suggestion.

–Bet.

–Fifty dollars you can’t make it without putting me down for a little.

–Prepare the money.

You chuckle, and him along with you.

–We should really study for tomorrow,– you mumble, tugging at his hair.

–You’ll pass. You’re smart… I’ll copy from Meeks, and you.

–How much are you paying him?

–Ten dollars and a magazine.

–Pricey. And me?

–What do you want?

–What are you willing to give me?

–Unconditional love and affection until I die.

–That’s the basic plan. Anything else?

–The best sex of your life.

–Fair, but still in the basic plan.

He sighs and chuckles.

–So demanding. Cigarettes?

–How much are we talking about?

–Three packs a month?

–Fair enough.

–And you let me copy all your Latin and trig homework.

–Bold of you to assume I do them.

–You do them for me.

You laugh, and he laughs along with you.

He snuggles closer, leaving faint kisses on your neck; your eyelids become heavy again, and your hands in his hair slow down.

–We’re going to miss dinner,– you whisper, more asleep than awake.

He doesn’t reply; he just tightens the grip on your waist, and his breath becomes slower and heavier.

Needless to say, you skipped both dinner and the meeting.

[svtdarlingbby]

"He's just a fuck-boy-frat-bro" Fratboy!Bang Chan x fem!Reader

pairing: Frat boy! Bang Chan x fem!Reader; featuring stray kids, '97 liners in Kpop, TXT genre: college au - enemies to lovers - slight angst but mostly fun! warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol, reader is kinda mean but so is Chan, one mention of blood, slightly suggestive word count: 8904

Y/N's POV

Whoever declared the false dichotomy that studying English was “easy” did not know the amount of work that went into it. Sure, writing has always been one of my favorite hobbies, but perhaps analyzing the arguments that came into play when it comes to creating effective writing is where my passion lies. 

“You know, it would be more effective if you cut out some of the background information. No one wants to read all of that.”

Speaking of arguments.

“Chan, can you just shut the fuck up and finish the peer review?” I rolled my eyes. Workshop days were usually pretty helpful especially since I tend to procrastinate while being a perfectionist about my writing. However, the professor just had to assign us pairs today and of course, she paired me with Christopher Bahng. Or as he liked to call himself, Bang Chan. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but he’s such a fuck boy. He’s a part of some frat, a string of Greek letters I don’t care to remember. He’s always out partying too with his group of friends. They were so loud when I had the displeasure of meeting them when they sat near me at the library during undergrad as I was trying to write a paper. Let’s just say that I didn’t stay in that area for too long. To put it simply, I did not like Chan, nor did he like me. 

“I’m just saying” he began in a sing-songy voice, “Can’t you just assume your audience understands the background context?” 

He knew how to get on my nerves. “First of all Chan, yes. You’re right. The audience is academic so they probably know what I’m talking about,” I began as he smirked. “However, I only included that much background info to strengthen my credibility. That’s called appealing to ethos. Remember that?”

Chan rolled his eyes as the smirk that was plastered on his chiseled face vanished, “Yeah, whatever,” he groaned as he started to read the rest of my paper. 

I suppressed my laughter and looked back at my laptop screen, which displayed the work Chan had for peer review day. As expected, he came in with only an outline for his paper. Probably couldn’t get anything down because he was out with the boys, I thought as I began to scan his outline.

I hate to admit it, but as I read further through Chan’s outline, the more I began to see his vision. He was researching the shift in attitude toward mental health in the 21st century and the language behind that, and honestly, it was a great idea for his thesis. The thing about Chan is that he is intelligent. Despite his annoying attitude and lifestyle, he knows how to write a pretty damn good paper about something he’s passionate about. Maybe that’s why he also found himself in grad school for English with me. I was hoping that he’d go to another university after undergrad, but like me, he stayed for grad school. Just my luck. It didn’t help that we were one of the few students who stayed at our school for grad school with the rest of the cohort coming from other universities. Essentially, I was the only person he was familiar with so Chan always found his way to sit near or even next to me in all four classes we shared. Even during our training sessions, he found his way near me. I just couldn’t get rid of this guy, but at least I can get somewhat authentic writing advice from him.

“Hey Y/N,” said Chan, a suspicious smile growing on his face.

“What?” I said, trying to keep my eyes on my laptop.

“You forgot a comma here,” he said and began to giggle.

I swear if my eyes weren’t permanently rolled into the back of my head by now. “Ha-ha, very funny Chan. Ever take a look at Bean’s hierarchy like we did in training?”

“Yeah, that’s the joke. Or was that too advanced for someone as uptight as you?” he retorted, the smirk back on his face. 

“Uptight? I can take a joke,” I said, trying to sound confident. 

“Yes, you’re uptight. I’ve never seen you at a party before. You should come with me this weekend,” he said, trying to act suave.

“Now why would I want to go to a party with you?” I said, fully looking Chan into his eyes. 

“Everyone in this room knows that you have an ass, why not put it to good use?” he spoke lowly and smirked, not breaking the eye contact as I began to feel myself blush. 

“What is fucking wrong with you?” I said, trying to sound angry but it came out more flustered and whiny. I won’t admit it to Chan but wow, does my ass look that good?

“I’m just kidding, we all know I’ve got more ass than you,” he laughed as he went back to reading my paper. 

“You know damn well that’s a lie,” I blurted out, still staring at him rather than my laptop.

“Oh? Would you like to prove it to me?” replied Chan, almost a little too quickly. He seemed almost taken aback by how quickly he responded yet still smirked. 

“I-” Before I could respond, I was interrupted by a notification from my phone. It was a text from my friend Rosé, who swears Chan and I are soulmates because she thinks we are so similar. Thankfully Chan notices me get distracted by my phone and uses that as an excuse to drop his absurd question and continue reading my paper. I couldn’t wait to tell Rosé about what Chan just said.

Rosé: ok i know we’re both not into frat parties and stuff but Jaehyun is being dragged to that frat party on saturday by jungkook and mingyu and he wants me to come. You don’t have to but do you think you could come with me?

Oh god, she had to be referring to the party Chan mentioned earlier. I thought about it. The worst thing that could happen is Jaehyun getting caught up with his friends and losing Rosé, which I doubt. Jaehyun was truly a gentleman and he was also a part of the English program with Rosé and me. He wouldn’t do that to her. But at the same time, these frat parties were unpredictable and what kind of friend would I be to leave my friend in that kind of situation? 

Y/N: yeah i heard about that party. Don’t worry, I’ll come with. But you’re promising me that we are avoiding frat guys especially Chan

Rosé: of course! We’ll just stay with Jaehyun who would prob want to leave early anyway.  

Rosé: but

Rosé: it’ll be hard to avoid frat guys especially Chan with your ass 🤭

Rosé: and his ass honestly. You guys are both hot so…

Y/N: Rosé i swear I’m not going to the party now

Rosé: NO i was jk. But fr ur hot

Y/N: thank you 😇send me the details of the party when you get them. Also what you’re gonna be wearing!

Y/N: OMG speaking of, guess what Chan said

Rosé: omg what

Y/N: he was trying to invite me to the party actually and he said something about me having an ass yet his was still bigger and so I called him out on that statement and he basically asked me to prove to him that my ass was fatter 🤢

Rosé: HELP OMG now why would he say that 😭

Y/N: cuz he’s a typical fuck boi

I put my phone down because I suddenly remembered I had to finish up Chan’s peer review. Just as I was about to focus my attention back to my laptop, Chan’s annoying voice spoke up.

“Who were you texting?” he asked, so nosy. 

“None of your business,” I responded, still looking at my screen.

“Is it a guy?” he asked, before looking up. “I saw the way you were smiling.”

“Oh my god, it was just Rosé. Why are you so concerned?” I snapped, regaining eye contact with Chan who smirked once again. 

Chan’s POV:

My plan is working, thank god Rosé’s dragging Y/N along to that party. God, she’s so fucking hot when she’s mad, especially at me. She’s so funny, all of my friends, her friends, and even everyone in our cohort know that she finds me attractive yet chooses to hate me. It’s crazy, she’s the smartest girl I know but she’s so stupid, denying her feelings. I just pretend to hate her to keep the game going, and it’s been going on since like freshman year. I feel like if she truly hated me, she probably would’ve reported me or something. Not that I’d do anything creepy, no, I have boundaries. I just love to mess with her. And perhaps I might also love her. 

I don’t know why I ever admitted that. The boys made fun of me so much. 

“Wait, I know you love to mess with her, but you think you love her?” laughed Changbin among the boys. 

“Well, I-” I stammered, before being interrupted. 

“Bro, how? She hates your guts!” laughed Jeongin.

“Okay but-”

“I don’t think Y/N hates him. She would’ve blocked and maybe gotten his ass kicked out of here by now if she truly hated him,” said Minho, a matter of factly. 

“And even though neither of them would admit it, they seem like friends. I mean, they’ve had classes together for five years now. And I’ve seen Y/N willingly sit next to Chan all the time. They’ve even had lunch together a few times! If she hated him, she would’ve moved seats and ignored him all these years,” added Felix optimistically. 

“Oh my god, are you saying Y/N probably loves Chan?” asked Seungmin, wide-eyed. 

“YES! I’ve known it all these years. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, all that tension from denying her true feelings. This confused girl loves you!” mused Jisung. 

“Yeah, honestly, if she wasn’t in the grad program, I might not have pursued grad school. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is,” I admitted, feeling flustered in front of the guys. 

“Okay, so how are you going to tell her?” interrogated Jisung. Of course, he wants me to do something about it. 

“I really don’t know. I never really planned on it honestly,” I revealed, earning a few dramatic gasps from my friends. 

“How about at the party on Saturday?” asked Hyunjin.

“No, she hates frat parties. But I’ve also heard from Rosé that Y/N can party so I don’t know,” I answered, feeling almost hopeless. 

“Wait, Chan,” began Minho, a smirk arising on his features, “What if we make Y/N go to that party?”

“Dude, no. As much as I like messing with her, I won’t force her to go somewhere she’s uncomfortable,” I replied somewhat urgently. 

“No, not like that. You know Rosé, right? Those two are like best friends. She’s dating Jaehyun, right? He’s in the frat and I know his buddies Jungkook and Mingyu are going to drag his ass there,” explained Minho. “So how about we use Rosé to bring Y/N to the party?”

“Damn Minho, why do you have this elaborate plan?” chuckled Hyunjin.

“I still haven’t gotten back at her for that one time she went out with Jisung,” spoke Minho lowly, “If this plan doesn’t work, at least she gets to see me all up on Jisung.”

“Whoa calm down Minho, it was one date remember? Before we were a thing? I ghosted her after that!” laughed Jisung. 

God, I remember that. I was so angry when I found out Jisung’s Bumble date all those years ago was Y/N. Granted, that was freshman year, but still! I shouldn’t be jealous, but Jisung’s one of my bros even though he has clearly moved on. I’m sure Y/N has moved on, God, I hope so. 

“Anyways,” I began, “What exactly is going to happen at the party once she’s there?”

“OH! Rosé should totally abandon her! And then you can swoop in and not act like a pretentious asshole for once!” chirped Hyunjin. “And you’ll be surrounded by all the frat guys, who are going to be acting like that and maybe she’ll see that you’re different than the rest!”

The room erupted in agreement from the guys and I began to feel myself warm up to their elaborate plan. “You know what, I think you guys are onto something,” I nodded in agreement as the guys cheered. “I’m going to text Rosé, I know she’d love to set her bestie up.”

Chan: Sup Rosé

Rosé; oh god what do you want

Chan: ok I’m being fr rn. But I have feelings for Y/N

Rosé: that’s the big news? 😭come on, we all knew that. 

Rosé: I mean, everyone but Y/N she thinks she hates you but we all know that’s a lie

Chan: wait-

Chan: what do you mean???

Rosé: oh um

Rosé: Y/N is literally going to murder me but

Rosé: at our last girls party, I don’t know what she was on but she admitted that she finds you hot 😭

Wait. What. Y/N thinks I’m hot? Oh my god!

“GUYS Y/N THINKS I’M HOT!” I blurted out to the guys who all cheered in response.

“YES CHAN’S GONNA GET IT!” screamed Changbin as he smacked my back rather harshly. 

“OUCH!”

“Sorry bro, the gains, you know?”

I ended up telling Rosé the plan and surprisingly she agreed on the condition that nothing bad happens to Y/N and that she won’t stop her from leaving if she gets uncomfortable. Okay, fair. And I know Y/N. She’s super loyal to her friends so she’ll be at that party either way. God, I’m so excited but nervous. She’s going to look so hot too, I wonder what she looks like outside of her school clothes. 

Y/N’s POV

Thank god class was almost over, but why was Chan so concerned with who I was texting? I brushed him off and finished peer-reviewing his outline. Surprisingly, I left a lot of positive feedback but made sure to sneak in some snarky comments. And I corrected his grammar just to be petty. How are you in grad school but can’t differentiate between a dependent and independent clause? 

“Here, damn,” I groaned as I hit send on the email where the peer-review was attached. 

“Aw, you liked my outline!” rejoiced Chan in that annoying voice of his as he opened the attachment. 

“You should be lucky that you’re receiving my feedback. I’m the only one here that would tell you that you suck to your face,” I said as I began to pack up my laptop into my bag. 

“Well honey, from the looks of it, you found a lot more positive things about my outline than negative,” laughed Chan. 

“Whatever,” I groaned, “Have you even finished peer-reviewing my draft by the way?”

“Almost done, I’ll send it to you in a bit,” he said as he started typing once again. 

“Thanks, I guess,” I muttered as I left the classroom. 

What I didn’t know was that my half-hearted “thanks” caused Chan’s heart to skip a beat. 

The day of the frat party came by faster than expected. Honestly, this whole week was a whirlwind. Thanks to Chan’s surprisingly helpful feedback, I was able to finish the essay before the weekend. I usually don’t drink, but, even being around alcohol can get hungover somehow and I wasn’t going to let a stupid frat party be the demise of my grade. Plus, I had to drive back home. 

Usually, I partied with my close friends and attended quite a few parties during my college career. I wonder how it’s going to be to go to a “real” college party, especially as a grad student no less. Maybe Chan was right. Maybe I am uptight. Whatever. I know his dumbass is going to be at that party. I might as well show him what “uptight” is. 

With that, I had a fun time choosing my outfit! I’ll admit, it was kinda low-cut. Okay, it was really low-cut but it flattered my good in every way. I haven’t worn it in a while but the black blouse was flirty and fun, with the dotted fabric of the arms sheer and the cropped nature of the shirt sitting right at my waist. I’d pair it with some nice jeans that flattered me. The outfit was far from uptight. And I could tell it would be a real crowd-pleaser based on Rosé’s enthusiastic reaction.

Rosé: WAIT DAMNNN OKAY

Rosé: CAN CHAN FIGHT????

Y/N: LMAO thanks but prob not!! 

Y/N: I’d rather be all yours anyways 🙄

Rosé: awww

Rosé: I wonder if Chan’s fave color is black 🤭

Y/N: OH GOD why would you say that 😭 i hope not 🤢

Rosé: LMAO I’m kidding lol butttt he is gonna see you like that just saying

Y/N: okay and? Not my problem

Rosé: yeah sureeee anyways are you almost at my apartment so we could head on over?

Y/N: Yeah, just found a parking spot. Heading over!

Flipping my hair out of my face, I headed toward Rosé’s apartment. Honestly, I was feeling kind of nervous going to this party. What if something bad happens? 

Outside the apartment building, I saw none other than Rosé accompanied by her boyfriend Jaehyun. Ugh, they looked perfect together, hand in hand and conversing about something they both could only hear. Until I interrupted.

“Rosé!” I yelled, quickening my pace.

“Y/N! You’re here!” she exclaimed, letting go of Jaehyun’s hand as we hugged each other and flooded one another with compliments of how we looked. 

“Damn Rosé, that ass of yours in those jeans?” I swooned, fanning myself. 

“Ahem.”

“Oh! Hey Jaehyun!” I exclaimed, caught off guard by Rosé’s quiet boyfriend.

“Hey Y/N!” he laughed as Rosé joined him, presumably at my flustered state.

“Listen! I wasn’t trying to take Rosé away from you! I would never!” I tried to explain, “Even though she was my friend first,” I mumbled that last part under my breath.

“It’s all good! Should we head over now?” asked Rosé as we began to walk toward the frat houses. 

The walk over to the frat house was longer than we thought it would be, but thankfully we all wore sneakers. The chill of the fall air blew as Jaehyun draped his sweater over Rosé’s shoulders. God, they were so cute. I can’t believe someone like Jaehyun was technically a frat dude. Come to think of it, Rosé was also in a sorority. I’m sure they knew their way around these parties. 

We opened the door just to be met with some frat bro who I quickly recognized as one of Chan’s friends. 

“Sup Jaehyun, I see you’re in ratio” he smirked as he let us in.

“Thanks, Hyunjin” laughed Jaehyun as he fist-bumped his brother as Rosé and I followed him inside. 

“Ratio?” I asked, perplexed. 

“Oh some frats have this thing where a guy should bring two girls with him to be let into a party,” Rosé explained as I quickly understood despite an even more confused expression gracing my features. I chose not to dwell on it as I took in my surroundings. Of course, red solo cups are in the hands of every attendee. Some of Chan’s friends were setting up some music. Sports were playing on the flatscreen TV. So far, so good.

“Hey, Jaehyun!” yelled Jungkook, who seemingly popped out of nowhere.

“Jaehyun!” yelled Mingyu, following behind the older one. God, Kim Mingyu and Jeon Jungkook. I’ve always thought they were so hot; I couldn’t help but feel a little shy as I scooted closer to Rosé.

Jaehyun greeted his friends as they all clapped hands, hugged each other, and made small talk. I felt kind of awkward just watching them honestly, so I turned to Rosé.

“I’m not drinking tonight, but did you wanna get a drink?” I asked.

“Sure, why not? Oh my god you know what I just realized?” she said, eyes brightening.

“What?” I asked, ever amused by her.

“You might actually see me drunk in person instead of over text!” she laughed.

“Wait, oh my gosh that’s so true!” I exclaimed with excitement as she grabbed a drink, making our way back to Jaehyun and his handsome friends. 

“Oh there you are,” said Jaehyun as he turned around, his eyes lighting up when he saw his girlfriend. 

Before any of us could respond, the house suddenly boomed with music and a certain boisterous voice made himself apparent.

“HELLO ABΩ! IT’S YOUR BOY BANG CHAN HERE!” 

Oh no. I expected him to be here but outside of school, he’s going to be ten times more annoying. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I sipped on some water. 

“The party is just getting started, my boy Jeongin made this fire playlist. Let loose, enjoy yourself, and remember, tag me and follow me on Instagram @gnabnahc!” he smiled into the microphone. All the frat guys began to cheer, encouraging him. I exhaled, just staring at how ridiculous Chan looked, with his white tee shirt, fitted so perfectly against his sculpted muscles. And his black jeans, emphasizing that dumptruck of his. Of course, he was wearing a cap too.   “Let’s have a great night! And-” Suddenly he stopped, creating an awkward silence despite the booming music. 

And then I realized. He was staring right into my eyes. I blinked a few times before looking away, feeling Rosé nudge me as she stifled a laugh. 

“I lost my train of thought!” Chan laughed, shifting the mood back to the energetic one he had created mere seconds before. “Anyways play some beer pong, dance, have fun!” And once again, all of the frat bros cheered as the party began.

I still felt flustered and annoyed, but also powerful at the same time. Did me just standing there make the cocky and confident Bang Chan flustered to the point of freezing up in front of the boys at a party no less? I smirked, though my cheeks still felt warm as I saw Changbin laughing and smacking Chan’s shoulder. 

“Y/N! Did you hear me? Or were you too busy staring back at Chan?” smirked Rosé as she waved her hand in front of my face. 

“Wait what?” I blinked as she and Jaehyun began to laugh. 

“I was saying you and Chan had a little moment right there! Locking eyes, the world disappearing around you two?” laughed Rosé.

“Very Jane Austen” added Jaehyun in agreement.

“Jane Austen would never write about a frat guy at a frat party no less,” I scoffed, crossing my arms as the couple in front of me shared knowing glances. 

Chan’s POV

I will never hear the end of this. Changbin is still smacking my shoulder with his sheer strength and keeps laughing at how I got distracted. 

“Oh my god, my abs. I’m not gonna have to train them anymore because of you!” laughed Changbin.

“Will you quit?” I rolled my eyes at his antics. “Very funny, I got distracted.”

“It’s not even that you got distracted! It’s who made you distracted! Tell me, what was it about Y/N that made you practically drool in front of everyone? Was it her hair? Maybe her eyes? Or was it her tits- OW!” 

“Not now Changbin,” I muttered after I smacked him. God, I need a beer. I left Changbin behind to find Minho handling the drinks. 

“We all saw that, dude,” said Minho somewhat apologetically as he handed me a drink. 

“Yeah, whatever,” I said, drinking from the cup rather quickly.

“So, the plan?” asked Minho expectantly. 

Right. The elaborate plan of the night. Initially, it seemed easy enough but I didn’t realize just how flustered by Y/N I would be. God, how does she get hotter every time I see her? 

“I was gonna wait a little later into the night to tell Rosé to abandon Y/N,” I explained to Minho who nodded. 

“Why don’t you go ahead and break the ice with Y/N? I think you acknowledging her early on will show her you have some decency,” suggested Minho. 

“That’s not a bad idea,” I replied as I glanced over at Y/N across the crowd before making my way toward her. 

Y/N’s POV:

Rosé was too busy talking to Jaehyun as I took in my surroundings once again. The party was beginning to get lively with more people dancing, especially Hyunjin, who was already surrounded by several guys and girls alike. Dancing would be fun honestly, but it would be awkward going up there and not knowing anyone. Just as I took my eyes off the dance floor, I met the gaze of none other than Chan. 

“Oh god, what do you want,” I muttered unenthusiastically as he walked toward me. 

“So, you made it? I knew you weren’t as uptight as you let on,” smirked Chan as he leaned against the wall, drink in hand.

“Don’t you have a paper to write?” I asked, trying not to take in how attractive he looked at that moment. Maybe all that alcohol around me was starting to intoxicate me somehow. He never looks good.

“Well someone provided me with some extra good feedback on my outline the other day,” he began, smiling, “Let’s just say that was an easy paper to write.”

I scoffed, “No way you wrote twenty-five pages in two days, weekdays no less.”

“Oh, but I did. I know you think I’m just a typical frat bro but I do care about the mental health movement,” he said, cocking an eyebrow up as his gaze bore into my soul. 

“Whatever,” I said, breaking eye contact and feeling a bit flustered. 

“Anyways,” began Chan, “It’s nice seeing you here. Nice to see you outside of class, I mean,” he stumbled as his eyes scanned my outfit. 

It was my turn to make him flustered. “Are you talking about me, or my tits?” I smirked, standing up straighter as he shuffled. 

“Well, I-” he began, before regaining his composure, “I expected to see your ass, not your tits today.”

“CHAN!” I yelled as he laughed, “Well, at least mine are bigger than yours!”

“That I can agree with,” Chan laughed, causing me to chuckle and playfully smack his arm. 

“We can finally agree on something,” I admitted as I playfully rolled my eyes and he nodded in response. 

“I’d say we’re finally on the same level of debate,” Chan winked as he referenced our TA curriculum. 

“Yeah, I would say that we passed conjecture so we’re definitely on definition right now,” I said as I dramatically furrowed my brows, pretending to be a teacher. 

“God, I’m so glad we’re actually applying what we’ve learned to the real world!” Chan exclaimed, dramatically opening his arms and gesturing to the “real world” that was the frat party before him. I hate to admit it, but Chan was actually funny. He knew how to appeal to my sense of humor. As hard as grad school is, these little jokes make me feel like I’m not alone. As we were laughing, I could just feel the stares of several people burning through the bubble Chan and I created. He could feel it too. In the corner of my eye, I could see Rosé giggling at us. Oh god, she probably took some pictures too. I also felt the knowing stares of Chan’s friends, even Hyunjin who was surrounded by guys and girls had his gaze fixated on Chan and me. Also, did I see Jisung, that one guy I had that awkward date with freshman year, stop making out with Chan’s other friend Minho just for them to look in our direction? What was going on?

Chan’s POV

I’m glad Y/N is warming up to me, she’s honestly not uptight at all! As awkward as my first glance, well, stare, at her today was, I’m so glad she didn’t bring that up. Speaking of staring, what is wrong with me? She saw me staring at her tits god I want to die. I mean, she didn’t murder me! That’s a good sign, right? As fun and lighthearted as our conversation was, how come the guys and Rosé had to be so fucking obvious? I thought this plan was supposed to be low-key, not “everyone-stare-at-Chan-to-see-if-he-finally-asks-Y/N-out.” I think Y/N is catching on, I mean, I practically feel everyone’s staring at us. I need to find a distraction, quickly. 

“Ahem” I cleared my throat, “Do you want another drink?” 

“Oh, um, yeah sure,” she replied as I snapped her out of her thoughts as we made our way to the drink table. 

I don’t know why I was reacting so quickly but as Y/N reached for a water bottle, something in me told me to grab it for her. It wasn’t until our hands met on the same water bottle that I snapped out of my actions.

“Oh-”

“Sorry!”

“Here, I’ll grab it for you,” I said, handing her the water bottle.

“Thanks,” she replied, looking down. Oh god, am I screwing this up? Did I make it awkward? From the corner of my eye, Felix gave me an apologetic smile as I wearily shook my head. I had to fix this. 

“So, you’re not drinking tonight?” I asked, breaking the ice. 

“Nope. I’ve gotta drive home but being drunk would be fun,” chuckled Y/N before taking a sip. “Yeah? How’s ‘drunk’ Y/N?” I asked using air quotations.

“I don’t remember,” laughed Y/N, “The videos I’ve seen of me in that state are hilarious though. I get cocky, witty, and flirty, so kind of like you on a regular basis. So yeah, I turn into a fuck boy.”

“That does sound like me,” I chuckled as we sat down on the couch. “We’re pretty similar, don’t you think?”

Y/N grimaced. “Rosé thinks so.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, and it’s so far from the truth!” she exclaimed dramatically, “Rosé, come here!” she yelled over the couch for her friend. Ugh. Just when I thought I could get her alone without Rosé having to completely abandon her friend. 

“Yes?” asked Rosé, another drink in hand.

“Come on, sit down and tell Chan about your delusions. About how you think we’re the same person,” said Y/N who scooted away from me, gesturing for Rosé to sit between her and me. I swear if Rosé cockblocks me…

Fortunately for me, Rosé takes a seat on Y/N’s other side. “You two are so similar oh my god, Chan you don’t even know the full extent,” giggled Rosé as she leaned into Y/N. Ugh. That should be me. 

“Yeah? How are we so similar?” I said glancing between the two women expectedly. 

“You both are studying English!,” laughed Rosé.

“Oh yeah, I didn’t know that!” scoffed Y/N sarcastically as I chuckled.

“Oh, oh! Your zodiac signs are compatible!” Rosé smirked as she raised her eyebrows. 

“Oh yeah, you’re a Libra right? October 3rd?” asked Y/N expectantly and I nodded. She knows my birthday?! I don’t know why my heart began to race at this fact. (A/N- guys for the sake of the story let’s pretend every zodiac sign is compatible with Libra lol!)

“Oh- and don’t forget, your MBTIs are super compatible too!” exclaimed Rosé.

“I’m an ENFJ, what are you?” I asked as Y/N looked away and replied (your MBTI). Oh my gosh, ENFJ and (your MBTI) are like, supposed to be soulmates. (A/N- guys for the sake of the story let’s pretend every MBTI is compatible with ENFJ lol)

“Oh- and also! Remember the blood drive for the frats and sororities? You’re type O Chan!” chimed Rosé.

“How did you remember that?” I chuckled looking between the clearly intoxicated Rosé and Y/N. 

“I’ll let Y/N explain that one!” exclaimed Rosé as she darted her eyes between Y/N and I. 

“Ugh, unfortunately, that means your blood type can be accepted by any other blood type, Chan. So your blood would be accepted by mine,” gagged Y/N, “I’d rather die at that point,” she deadpanned, causing both Rosé and I to laugh. 

“Really? You’d rather die than receive my thick, juicy, red blood from these veins?” I asked, making a fist so the veins on my arms would appear. Y/N bit her lip and exhaled as Rosé laughed even harder. 

“Yeah Y/N, I thought you had an arm kink?” blurted out Rosé, who was probably drunk by now.

“Rosé!” yelled Y/N, getting more flustered and looking away from me. I only laughed harder and felt my ego rise exponentially. She’s an arm girl? Noted. I’ll have to wear tank tops more often. 

“Like what you see?” I whispered to Y/N, flexing my biceps. She didn’t respond, but I saw the way her eyes lingered. 

“Yeah Y/N! You should feel his muscles” laughed Rosé as she grabbed Y/N’s hand suddenly and placed it on top of my bicep

“Rosé!” yelled Y/N as her hand retracted quickly from my bicep. God, if only she knew how flustered I was feeling right now. Before I knew it, I blurted out “I don’t bite. Go for it.” 

“Oh, um. Okay,” replied Y/N as she leaned over and felt my muscles. I tried not to act flustered as she leaned toward me, that blouse of her’s making it hard to focus on her hand on my arm. I swear her skin on mine was something I had been craving for years. “Neat,” she said, retracting her arm but I could see the redness gathering on her cheeks. 

“Whoa, save some room for Jesus!” blurted out a boy with long, dark brown hair. Behind him was a taller boy who looked somewhat flustered.

“Beomgyu? Soobin? What are you guys doing here?” Y/N’s eyes lit up instantly at the sight of them. I could feel my blood begin to boil but I had to maintain my composure. I can’t let something like jealousy ruin the plan. 

“You guys aren’t even in this frat!” laughed Rosé, causing the two guys to chuckle. 

“Yeah and? We’re here for a good time, right Soob?” laughed Beomgyu as he smacked Soobin in the chest.

“Oh- Uh, yeah! How are you, Y/N?” asked Soobin shyly. Why was he asking about her specifically? I kept my mouth shut as I glanced at Y/N, who looked somewhat flustered herself. 

“I didn’t think I’d be here but this one dragged me here,” explained Y/N as she glanced over at Rosé. 

“Okay and? You’re having a good time?” stated Rosé like it was the most obvious thing. 

Everyone chuckled but me, but I tried to play it cool and forced myself to smile at their small talk. Ugh, I just wish these cockblockers would go away!

“Oh my god, they’re playing Rodeo! Soobin, you like that song don’t you?” boomed Beomgyu as he gestured toward Soobin. “Let’s get up there!” he exclaimed as he gestured toward Y/N and pulled her from the couch.

“Wait this song is so funny!” laughed Y/N as she enthusiastically made her way to the dance floor with Soobin and Beomgyu. 

And just like that, my jaw was on the floor. How did these two random guys, who aren’t even in my frat by the way, just snatch Y/N away from me like that? 

“Ouch,” muttered Rosé as I stared at the dance floor in disbelief. 

“Bro did that just actually happen?” I heard Seungmin say as he took Y/N’s vacant spot.

“Man, I’m sorry,” I heard Felix’s deep voice behind the couch as he leaned over to pat my shoulder comfortingly. 

“How- She just- I just-” I stammered, still in disbelief at what just happened. 

“So um, Beomgyu and Soobin know Y/N from biology class during undergrad,” explained Rosé, trying to help me make sense of this. “Soobin was her lab partner.” Honestly, that didn’t really help as I just sighed in response. To be honest, I knew getting Y/N wasn’t going to be this easy. If I have competition, so be it. 

“Give me a minute,” I muttered as I stood up to get another drink. I felt their apologetic stares burn into my back as I made my way to the drinks. I glanced at the dance floor, and of course, Y/N was having the time of her life. God, she looked so hot dancing. Putting that ass to good use like I had said earlier. Just as I was about to look away, an unsightly scene unfolded before me on the dance floor. Why were Soobin and Y/N practically grinding on one another like that? My blood was already boiling, but now it was evaporated by how angry and jealous I felt. I know my face showed that as I made eye contact with Y/N as she smirked. 

Y/N’s POV

Ah Soobin, my old lab partner. My old crush. It didn’t end up working out between us back in undergrad, Soobin claiming that while he did like me, he just couldn’t devote enough time to a relationship. He was a part of many biology related clubs and even president of one. He also had a job on top of all that. Honestly, that was understandable and I quickly moved past those feelings. However, for Soobin I could definitely tell those feelings never went away. Maybe it’s a good thing Soobin studied biology; he couldn’t analyze situations like I could. Let’s face it, Chan was being extra good and not annoying today. That’s really suspicious, and frankly, I don’t know how to react to his good behavior. Admittedly, yes, I was flustered by our interactions throughout today. But he’s just a fuck boy frat bro. He’s always going to be flirting around, probably in hopes of getting laid. I don’t want to be just another one of those girls he fucks for the sake of it. I thought he knew that by now that I’m not into hookup culture. When Beomgyu and Soobin appeared, it was a perfect opportunity to test out my hypothesis: if Bang Chan wasn’t attracted to me like that, then he’d have no problem seeing me dance with another guy. I also just wanted to dance really badly. 

Also, “Rodeo” by Lah Pat and Flo Milli? The song used in every fuck boy thirst trap and slutty TikTok edits? How could I pass the opportunity to not make Chan jealous with such an explicit song about fucking?

“I wanna feel your body on top of mine!” I sang, eyeing Soobin while swaying my hips as some girls hyped me up on the dance floor. 

“Go Y/N!” cheered Beomgyu as he pulled out some smooth moves. 

It seemed like Soobin was getting out of his shell as he suddenly busted out some killer dance moves, slowly closing the distance between us. “Like a rodeo babe!” he winked. I forgot how fun it was to dance, especially with such a supportive crowd. I wonder if someone was watching. I could practically feel Soobin’s warmth behind me as we danced when I locked eyes with Chan who was heading toward the drinks. I could tell he was fuming as his gaze bore into mine. 

“I wanna feel your body on top of mine!” I sang again, trying to be as seductive as possible in the way I moved, never breaking eye contact with Chan. I don’t know where this surge of confidence came from, but god I felt powerful. Maybe this is how Chan usually feels.

Chan blinked back, seemingly flustered and even angry as he looked away and got another drink. He walked out of the front door dejectedly. I laughed as Beomgyu shot me a confused glance but I just waved him off as he continued dancing. As I was dancing with Soobin though, I began to feel guilty. Why the hell did I feel bad for Chan? He didn’t own me, in fact, he always went out of his way to make me angry and annoyed. Okay, he never went this far but still. And I practically just used Soobin to make Chan jealous knowing that Soobin still probably had feelings for me. I’ve always chided Chan for being a fuck boy, but here I was playing with his feelings and even bringing another guy into this mess by using him. Maybe I’m the fuck boy. 

The next song began to play, and I knew I needed to make things right before they got worse. 

“Hey, Soobin?” I asked over the blaring music as I gestured for him to follow me away from the dance floor.

“Yes, Y/N?” replied Soobin as he leaned down to my height so he could hear me. 

“Thank you for the dance, but sorry. I didn’t mean to get all up on you. I don’t want to lead you on, because I’ve moved on since undergrad. I should’ve considered your feelings before I did that, I’m sorry,” I rambled my apology, not really knowing what to say and hoping the damage wasn’t already done. 

“Oh,” paused Soobin as he looked down, “It’s okay, I just… I just wish I hadn’t been a coward and made excuses back then.”

“What are you talking about Soobin?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, you clearly moved on. I always see you with Chan especially since you started grad school. Even at this party, you were with him when I walked in. Beomgyu just tried to convince me to take a chance and try to get you back, but I can see I missed my chance,” smiled Soobin wistfully. “I could tell you were trying to make Chan jealous when you danced with me.”

Well, maybe I was wrong. Soobin read my plan like a book. Why wasn’t he in the English program?

“Was I that obvious,” I muttered, looking away from Soobin as he chuckled. 

“I knew it was too good to be true when you were moving like that. Like you had a point to prove,” chuckled Soobin. 

“Ugh, I’m sorry Soobin,” I apologized once again.

“It’s okay, I know you’re an asshole now,” he laughed dryly before gesturing to the door, “Now go get Chan. I’ll be okay. I’ve gotta take care of Beomgyu.”

I glanced at the dance floor and Beomgyu was clearly very drunk and happily dancing. Soobin gave me a reassuring smile.

“Thanks Soob. Take care,” I smiled back before making my way out of the frat house through the door Chan left from. 

Chan’s POV:

I shivered as the cool autumn breeze hit me, the hand holding my drink becoming disproportionately colder than the rest of my body as a result of the sudden temperature change. God, why did Y/N dancing with another guy bother me so much? Everything was going perfectly until Soobin showed up. I know she’s not technically mine but why does the thought of her being with someone who isn’t me hurt so much? I get so angry when things don’t go my way. What should I do!? I blinked back a few tears as I paced along the sidewalk near the building. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and saw the concerned texts from some of the guys in our group chat. 

Felix: hey Chan, are you okay? I’m here if you need anything

Jeongin: what happened to Chan?

Hyunjin: his genius plan isn’t working *insert video of Y/N and Soobin on the dance floor*

Minho: oh my god that bitch

Jisung: okay maybe I was right to ghost her!

Seungmin: yeahhh it was pitiful 

Changbin: damn I’m sorry bro

I sighed, not bothering to reply. I just needed some space to process the fact that Y/N is probably going to leave the party with another guy. Someone who isn’t me. Maybe I shouldn’t have messed with her as much as I did. I’m sure it must have gotten old pretty quickly. I should’ve just been honest with her from the beginning. But no, I just had to maintain my frat boy image. I don’t know why, or how, I could be this stupid. I just fucked up my chances of being with the prettiest, funniest, and smartest girl I know. Just as I reached to wipe my tears, I heard a familiar voice. 

“Chan!”

I turned around and was faced with none other than Y/N. Concern and regret painted her features as she gazed into my teary eyes. 

“Chan,” she spoke softly, inching closer to me. “I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have left you like that just to make you jealous on purpose. I’m really sorry.”

I quickly blinked back any tears that remained and wiped the rest off my face. “Y/N, you came to find me?”

Y/N blinked a few times before replying, “Of course. I wanted to mess with you but I could tell that you were hurt. I couldn’t just leave you alone.”

I swallowed before speaking, gently taking ahold of her hand. “Y/N, I need to come clean. I like, no, I love you. I have loved you for a long time. Since like, freshman year. I only pretended to hate you just to mess with you. I don’t know why, I’m so stupid, I just, I thought that was just how a frat guy should act. Clearly not, I just annoyed you and I don’t blame you if you don’t return my feelings. I’ve been an asshole to you for a long time, and I’m sorry,” I rambled, feeling her grip on my hand tighten as I felt myself begin to shake. 

“Chan…” muttered Y/N as she looked into my eyes. God, I’m so embarrassed. 

Y/N’s POV:

I just felt so guilty, and I’m glad I apologized. It’s the least I could do. I know Chan loves to mess with me but he has never gone out of his way to hurt me like I just did to him. However, he really did just drop a bomb out of nowhere. Chan loves me? 

“Chan,” I said, squeezing his hand once again to get him to look at me. It works. “I honestly didn’t realize you felt that way. Wow,”

“Listen, I don’t want to pressure you at all to say yes. I just think you deserve to know how I truly feel,” admitted Chan. 

“No, it’s not that. I just think that you helped me describe what I’ve been feeling,” I admitted. “I always thought I hated you, but I’ve always been drawn to you. It’s not the same if you’re away. And I’m actually kind of glad you didn’t go away for grad school because you’re such a constant in my life. Like, I couldn’t imagine not going to school with you.”

Chan began to laugh. “What’s so funny?” I asked, bracing myself for Chan to probably admit this was a whole prank or something.

“It’s just, I only chose to go to grad school in the first place because you were doing it. And you just so happened to be staying here so I followed you,” laughed Chan, squeezing my hand gingerly. 

My eyes widened, “Well this is news to me!”

“When I told the guys this, they insisted I asked you out. So we made this whole elaborate plan to get you to this party but the plan didn’t really go as planned,” confessed Chan.

“Oh Chan,” I laughed, “Did you guys think you could really fool me?”

“Yeah. So did Rosé,” smirked Chan.

“She what?” I asked, shocked that Rosé was plotting with Chan.

“She’s gonna kill me for telling you but yes, I asked her to bring you here.”

“Oh my god, that’s why her text about the party conveniently came during peer review!” everything began to click as Chan smiled. “I mean, that explains everyone staring at us this whole night.”

“There’s the smart Y/N I know,” laughed Chan, staring at me with adoration which made me flustered. 

“I should’ve known,” I laughed dryly, “But Chan, seriously, I did have a great time with you tonight. And I don’t want that to end so, yes, I’ll be your girlfriend I guess.”

“You what!?” Chan’s jaw dropped as his eyes brightened.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” I rolled my eyes as I pulled him into a kiss. His plush lips I used to despise returned the kiss as he fought back a smile, putting his hands on my waist to draw me closer. We pulled back from one another because we couldn’t stop smiling. 

“God, Y/N. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” mused Chan as a genuine smile graced his features as he put an arm around my waist. 

“Yeah it took you long enough,” I rolled my eyes playfully and leaned into his embrace. “Now do you wanna go back inside to party?”

“I’m happy wherever you are, Y/N.”

Chan’s POV

YESSSS I DID IT!!! Y/N IS MINE NOW! Oh my god, oh my god. All it took was for me to word-vomit everything I had felt about her with a pinch of jealousy to make her my girlfriend. I don’t even remember the initial plan because this outcome is so much better. I smiled at the girl in my arms, the one I spent years annoying because I couldn’t communicate my feelings. This is what bliss is. 

Suddenly, my phone began to vibrate like crazy once again. 

“Hold on, I think the guys are texting me,” I tell Y/N as I bring out my phone. I gasp as my eyes widen.

Felix: So uh, I went outside to find Chan and this is what I saw 😳 *insert pic of Chan and Y/N kissing*

Hyunjin: omg how the turns have tabled

Jisung: WHAT!! The switch up is crazyyyyy

Jeongin: oh god my eyesssss (nice job Chan)

Seungmin: phew Chan is okay lol

A message was deleted by Minho

Minho: Aw finally! (I didn’t call Y/N a bitch earlier nooo)

Changbin: CHAN’S GETTING IT AYYY

“What’s wrong Chan?” asked Y/N as she fished out her phone which was also buzzing with notifications. 

“Just check your phone,” I muttered in disbelief, but I couldn’t help but hold back a smile. 

Y/N’s POV

I took Chan’s advice and checked my phone. Maybe something had happened at the party while we were gone? Instead, I found like a hundred notifications from Rosé.

Rosé: AHFEWFEJ WHAT JUST HAPPENED

Rosé: I know you liked Soobin at one point but like

Rosé: omg Chan is actually sad

Rosé: check your phoneee even Jaehyun agrees

Rosé: wait omg

Rosé: *insert pic of Chan and Y/N kissing*

Rosé: care to explain? 🤭

“Oh my god Rosé!” I yelled.

Chan POV:

“Actually it was Felix who took that pic,” I laughed at her flustered state. Honestly, I love that the picture exists. My first kiss with Y/N. How precious!  

“Wanna go kill them?” asked Y/N, rolling up her sleeves. God she’s so hot when she’s mad, even hotter when she’s mad at other people. 

“Gladly, but first, you never answered my question,” I began, smirking at her once again. 

“What question?” She replied, tilting her head in confusion. 

“Can you prove to me that your ass is actually bigger than mine?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow as I eyed her behind and began to laugh at her further flustered state. She paused before suddenly moving closer to me.

“After I get finished with them,” she muttered, gesturing to our friends in the frat house, “Is when I’ll get started with this.” I yelped from the sudden smack on my butt as Y/N eyed me dangerously, smirking. 

“Oh I can’t wait!”

Epilogue:

Y/N’s POV

Even though I hadn’t had a sip of alcohol, I still woke up hungover the next morning in my bed. I groaned at the slew of notifications that had woken me up from my slumber. I can’t believe that I woke up as the girlfriend of Bang Chan, the frat guy who had a notorious reputation for also being a fuck boy. I blinked a few times as I opened Instagram only to find the picture of me kissing Bang Chan to be the first post I saw. 

@gnabnahc last night was crazyyy 🥶💯😳

Comments: 

@yong.lixx: photo creds? 📸 jk so happy for you man

@i.2.n.8: mommy & daddy 😳

@miniverse.__: lookin gr8 bro 

@jutdwae: Ayyyy bro is hard launching rn!

@hynjinnnn: now this is art

@minho_knows: you’re welcome

@han_jisung: yeah she’s much better with you 🤭

@roses_are_rosie: so the plan worked! 😁

@page.soobin: congrats 🥲

⎿ @bamgyuuuu: it’s ok u tried bro 😤

Ok this was my first ever attempt at writing a stray kids fic! I hope you enjoyed! I had a lot of fun writing this! I know Chan would never be a fuck boy irl but as you can see it would be fun to imagine what that might look like!

[seeingteacupsindragons]

After doing a little hunting myself, what's going around is Sherlock's section in this: https://jumpsq.shueisha.co.jp/rensai/moriarty/

Hey, Hyper, have I told you I love you this week?

(Yes)

Okay! The entire sentence is a long one and most people are probably fixating on the first part before the first comma, but I'm gonna give you the whole thing:

ウィリアムに対して友情以上の絆を感じ、犯罪卿を支え、共に消息不明になるも、ロンドンに帰還する。

ウィリアム: William.

に対して: Towards, against, regarding, contrast. I think here it would be "towards"

友情: Friendship/fellowship/comradeship/etc. This is often used to describe William's relationship with his crew. Returning to his comrades, etc.

以上: Over and above, beyond.

の: Ties that "beyond" bit to the next bit "絆"

絆: Bond/relationship/connection.

を: Indicates the relationship is the subject of the following verb, which is...

感じ: Feel/Experience.

So this part of the long sentence is, "Feels toward/for William a connection beyond friendship."

That doesn't actually mean it's romantic; there is a whole Thing in Japanese culture about "More than friends, less than lovers," which is a phrase I hate for a lot of reasons but usually falls into the weirdly intense shonen/BL lite/QPR situationship. It's kind of "This is my most important person, but not my lover."

Anyway, that's not actually mentioned here, but it is a thing in Japan.

The rest of the sentence!

犯罪卿: Lord of Crime

を: This means the same thing here that it did above. It connects sentence objects to their verbs.

支え: Now, this, I find interesting. It defines as both "To check/hold at bay" and "defend/support/prop up." It seems to ride the line somewhere in the concept of Protecting something by stopping an invasion/intrusion.

共に: Together

消息不明: Lost/MIA

に: Regarding, referring to, towards.

なる: Became

も: Also

So adding all of this up, we have, "Feeling toward William a bond beyond friendship, supported the lord of crime and together went missing,"

ロンドン: London:

に: To. Same as above. But here it just means "to"

帰還する: To return.

So all of that added up is,

"Feels for William a connection beyond friendship, protected the Lord of Crime and went missing together, and now returned to London.

It's very gay, but it's not gay gay.

[lizardboy66]

What if I said that bobbys death wasn’t poorly written and was a good move actually.

First of all he might not be dead in which case all of this is a moot point but walk with me.

In my opinion, the fact that no one major dies in this show is a serious set back for it. The leads get into these horrendously perilous situations and there is a never a doubt in your mind that they will be ok. That’s not interesting story telling, that’s cozy. And cozy is ok and allowed, and definitely has a place. Even in an action packed procedural to be fair. But at the same time, what ends up happening is that these characters suffer a lot with no lasting effects or consequences on the narrative. Remember when Hen’s son almost died?? And then was just fine?? By season 8, the bombastic emergency no longer hits. There’s no stakes. It’s the supernatural problem. They kept upping the ante but didn’t heighten the consequences with it.

And as I said, this has a place. My uni lecturer described this concept as “cozy murder”, where stressful and bad things happen, but in a palatable way with a narrative resolution, and no major tragedy for the protagonists. This usually applies to detective/mystery shows but I think it works here too. If they choose to bring Bobby back, the show will continue to lack stakes, but will be a fun source of comfort. It was still thrilling and exciting to watch Athena land that plane even though I knew she would be okay. The conflict is not revolving around IF the characters will survive, but HOW. Which is also valid and fine and good.

However comma, if they choose to keep Bobby dead, this changes the game for the show is a big way. Now they can kill people, now their cast can revolve a little more than it does. I want to compare this death to George’s death in greys anatomy. Frankly it was unnecessary and they could have just written him off because the actor was leaving, but they chose to kill him for the plot. I’m sure many people hate this choice, and when I watched it I was shocked and saddened by it too. But it was narratively interesting, it had an effect on the other characters, it drove the story forward. It meant that greys anatomy could revolve and change its cast, while still honouring its original characters. It also introduced stakes into the show where Meredith was dead on the table for two hours before being magically revived. Now if you get attached to a character, there’s a level of danger and intrigue there, will they make it?

The same goes for 911. It’s been 8 seasons of the same cast, and the last few seasons have grown a little stagnant. Characters aren’t growing the way they used to, the 118 is a coherent family unit that lacks internal conflict in a lot of ways. Basically everyone is a bit too happy. (Disregarding the Buck and Eddie situation, but this isn’t about that). Killing Bobby opens narrative possibilities: who will be the new captain? How will they adjust after his death? How will Buck cope now that his closest friend and his father figure are gone? How will Athena cope?

Bobby was kind of…done, and he should have had the chance to retire and live until he was old, but at the same time he died saving his family, and saving the world. It was tragic and beautiful. He had been given the chance to grow and be happy, and even to reconnect with his mother, and now it is his time to go. It wasn’t poorly written, it was a shock on purpose to gag the audience. And are we not gagged?

Of course it’s a huge tone shift and game changer for the show, so it’s still up in the air if they will choose to follow through, but I think it opens the story up to new possibilities and pathways. This could be the beginning of so many arcs, or characters understanding the finite nature of their lives, of reckoning with the danger of their jobs in a new way. This is something that happens to first responders, it should be able to happen on the first responder show.

I think season 7/8 have been such a reset for the show, they are exploring things they would have never explored earlier in their run, and spicing things up is good for the longevity and continual good quality of the show.

But I am in two minds about this and worry they will chicken out.

[froggy-anon]

I don’t smoke (Except for when I'm missing you)

Paring: pre re2!Ada Wong x gn!reader

Prompt: Your relationship with Ada was… let’s just say rocky for a while now. Low contact, constant work trips and unavoidable arguments while she’s home- it’s just too much. You both changed since she started working with Wesker …, and so did your body.

Warnings:  angst, body horror, no use of y/n, maybe nsft?, implied reader’s death, bebe you get infected so yeah but it wasn't meant to happen at least, semi-dependant reader, use of tobacco, vomiting, shitty punctuation and misuse of commas, canon divergence, semi-good ending???? idk

Word count: 2.3k 

Notes: omg did I finally post something instead of keeping it in my wips?? hell yeah! I might not be hyperfixating on RE now but I can't get Ada off my head. I mean- just look at her! She's perfect<3 Fucking hell it took me A LONG time to finally finish it but shh… Also only after writing did I realize that the idea is very similar to this fic my @uhlunaro so definitely check this out bc they’re an amazing writer<3

Actually proofread (like ½ for sure) by me omg

It all happened too fast; it was just the usual Thursday morning, the smell of freshly ground coffee and the familiar scent of your lover were in the air as you made the breakfast and the eggs you made were perfectly crispy with runny yolk. Everything seemed to be like it used to but then the call happened… You knew who was it, everyone knew because who else would it be? It was supposed to be your day, you both took the day off and you spent the last few days planning everything out. It was your anniversary, the day you should celebrate your love and not some emergency in the lab! But of course… She was gone again. 

“Why can’t you just pretend that you love me for once!?,” was the last thing you cried out screamed at her as she left. It’s just painful to know that even today her work is more important. It left you weeping softly on the floor, as the yolk of the egg spilled more and more towards your feet from the plate you broke. “Why can’t we be a normal couple…” Your tears had flown out even more now that you were alone.

Ada never liked when you smoked, she always said it left this awful scent on your fingers and breath but why would you care now? A soft breeze hit your face as you inhaled the smoke from your cigarette, who’d think that living near the river could be so nice? Loving Ada is tiring, she used to be one of the most caring and loving people you’ve ever known- even before you started dating! And now it all changed… Yeah, working in some big pharma company can be tiring but it’s ruining both of you. 

The butt of the cigarette was still slowly burning as you looked in the distance. She used to tell you how she grew up near the sea, how they used to go there every day after school and play until the dawn came. She used to say how she’d take me to her hometown in China. You never were even close to one, your parents used to take you and your brother to the countryside on holidays or visit the lake near your hometown; it wasn’t the same though. Loving Ada was never easy, she had her own problems as well as you had yours but before all this you both managed to heal, to thrive. You should’ve left when it started, before all the arguments and hate. It’s not a new idea but the thought of being alone again is scary. Ugh, you’re thinking too much, it makes you dizzy. Or maybe was it the cigarette?

You always get dizzy, maybe all this overthinking is too much for you. You head towards the kitchen sink and fill up a glass with the tap water. It was just a small argument, it wasn’t worth all the mess. You never thought that water would make you feel worse, no one would! We need it to live, so why your insides are burning? Who cares, anyway the mess won’t clean itself. It doesn’t feel right, nothing feels right. The burning sensation might’ve stopped but it was replaced with this sore, almost itchy feeling. Ada came home late again, she’s not looking better than you but as you greet her you could see a spark of worry in her eyes. Why would she worry? There’s nothing to worry about, right? All you can do is sigh and act like nothing happened, she surely flinches when you kiss her because she’s still annoyed over today’s morning…

You woke up somehow more tired than before you went to sleep. Funny enough you also look like shit. Yeah, you can tell yourself that you caught a cold but if so, then why does my body itch so much? Ada looks less worried than tomorrow but finally is some more affectionate than usual. Maybe the fight made her think finally.

You miss her touch though; the way she smuggles up to your chest and how soft are her lips. You miss how she used to be so good. You miss how your life was before this Wesker guy. Good, she’s warming up again. She kissed you goodbye and said something about coming home later. Weird…

It’s itching, itching so much. It feels like something is under your skin and it’s moving… It sure has to be a delusion, a hallucination maybe but it feels so real. Let’s try to calm down. okay? You can’t go to work while being such a mess and after all some DayQuill will help you a ton. You go to the kitchen and prepare some breakfast before popping some cold meds. You brush your still tangled hair to the side and oh my… I- it’s weird, you always had strong and healthy hair after all so why a clump of them is in your hand right now? I mean, I guess all all of the stress lately finally got to you, being a news reporter is not easy and it shouldn’t be. You sure will feel better when you’re finally in your work wear and clean face.

As soon as you get to the bathroom you hit the sink and rinse your face. It’s dry and surprisingly harder than always. As you lift your head and you look in the mirror, the rougher parts of your face look bruised. And there are some lacerations which weren’t there when you woke up- Ada would point them out for sure. It’s weird but that’s nothing that some makeup can’t fix. Also, it’s not like you can just get a day off at a whim. The amount of concealer you put on your face is enough to put a gyaru inro shame and yet your face still feels wrong and itchy. You brush your hair getlly while trying to not rip out another chunk of your hair and put on your usual shirt and blazer before putting on short heels on your sore and reddish feet. You sat at the vanity waiting for your usual makeup artist to return and rehearse your lines. It’s so hard to focus on the letters and it feels like you’re in a haze. It’s hard to explain really, mostly because it’s hard to form coherent thoughts too. No matter how much you rub your eyes and take small breaks you just can’t focus on anything. Words on the paper are blurry and there's always a silhouette of something or someone in the corner of your vision. It hurts and you’re almost sure that your feet are bleeding. You don’t even realize when the makeup artist has returned and been putting some TV stick on your face until she gets to the painful lesions you passed as some chemical burn from a face mask. Your concept of time is distorted and looking back now you don’t even remember when you and your colleague went live. Funny… You got suddenly sick and now you’re delivering the news of the water reservoir your apartment complex uses being contaminated.

Black tar filled your lungs making your trachea burn so pleasantly. The smoke inside your lungs made you feel so giddy right before you exhale. Cigarettes always help you take your mind off your problems and help preserve good emotions. You know that one day they will be the end of you, but it’s not like you’re gonna live forever so why not have fun now? 

Shadowy figures followed you home from the studio, it’s surprising that you managed to work your usual shift. Even your coworkers caught on your ailing and lying to them that you’re just a bit under the weather felt bad. Bills ain’t gonna pay themselves though so you gotta do what you gotta do. Ada didn’t say anything about your illness and only looked at you pitifully compassionately before kissing your cheek, she even offered to make a dinner for today. You pulled into a hug and her warm touch against your calloused skin reminded you of the old times, of the days you first met and how beautiful your relationship was. She smelled like honey and antiseptics, you couldn’t stop yourself from taking a deep breath of her scent which made your heart flutter. Her skin is so soft and delicate, making you want to bite down and taste her flesh push her against the counter and take her whole, she’s your wife after all. Before you can do that though she pulls away and makes a beeline towards the fridge. The packs of water, the ones that appeared in your kitchen a few days ago, took your attention away from her. You couldn’t help but feel a bit suspicious.

You didn’t sleep much- in fact, you didn’t sleep at all. Your body just kept itching and the nausea you felt as you forced down the dinner before got progressively worse. You can feel your body changing, turning into something disgusting as your skin gets progressively covered in more bruises and blisters where it seemed to be just irritated this morning. The taste of pennies in your mouth and dry skin on your lips isn’t doing you any favour either. It was only a matter of time before you ended up hunched over the toiled letting the dark ooze flow out of your stomach freely. Your vision kept spinning and those black creatures you saw before were coming closer. It’s not real, it has to be! Just try to remember that whatever you’re seeing is. not. real.

Throwing up usually makes you feel better; not this time though. Your eyes became watery and your fingers bloody as you gripped the toilet bowl. The odour of rotting flesh filled your nostrils and the sickeningly sweet note of it made you gag again. You dealt with rotten meat before on a few occasions and it never was so sweet.

“Shit!”

You broke out of your trance as the bathroom lit up.  Your head shot in the direction of the sound and of course, you noticed your worried lover standing in the doorway. Only a grunt was able to leave your mouth making your throat ache. “Are you okay?” She asked hesitantly as she approached. She looks scared for some reason? You’re just a bit sick, there’s no reason to be scared!

And then you looked down. The toilet was full of brownish-blackish and thick fluid and definitely not dinner. The sides of the toilet were covered in your blood and one of your nails was lying on the floor directly next to the bowl. You take a look at your hands and it makes your breath quicken. Your fingers were all purple and greenish, even some of the tips of your fingers were, unlike the spots on your skin, bloated.

“What the fuck is happening to me?” Your voice was husky and every word felt like a razor being pulled out of your throat. Ada just looked sad… You’d expect her to be scared, to scram, run away, but instead, she just kneeled next to you and pulled you into a loose embrace, as if she was scared to hurt you more.

It pained you, the lightest touch of her silky pyjamas or her warm hands made your skin feel like it was breaking and about to fall off. It was excruciating yet you laid your head gently on her shoulder. You should be scared, furious! You should feel whatever else than sorrow and warmth inside your chest. A few tears flew down your cheeks onto her arm as you bit down on your lip to stop a pathetic sob from escaping. You could feel her hand slowly crase your head like she always did before you used to fall asleep before your life became occupied by jealousy and your jobs took over your time, before your relationship went downhill. She let out a barely audible “I’m sorry…” and you swear you felt her breath hitch.

They are scratching your brain, you can feel every bone in your body change its shape, or maybe you’re just going insane.

Ada is making phone calls in the kitchen as you sit at the dinner table and scratch your fingers, eventually ripping one or two loose fingernails off. She keeps glancing at you while trying her best to hide the fear in her eyes. Damn, a cigarette would be good now… You can feel your muscles tear with your every move and slowly fall off your bones. Necrosis on your skin expands and only a few spots on your body are left the same colour as before.

It hurts, it hurts it hurts it hurts ithurts ithurts ithurts ithurtsithutsithurtsithutrsithurst i t h u r t s  s o  b a d l y.

Suddenly you can smell the familiar scent of honey and now Ada’s shampoo as she wraps her hands around you from behind. She looks so soft and tasty, so vulnerable. Her touch hurts so good you want to fall into her tight embrace, squeeze her waist tightly and fuse into one. It makes you feel loved again… And then your body stops aching.

You felt sudden force against your neck like you were punched, and then something lukewarm flowing down your chest as Ada creases your cheek slowly. It hurts for a while until it just stops. Everything just fades…

“I don't smoke Except for when I'm missing you To remember your mouth, how it Tasted true And I don't smoke Except for after I've held you, baby Being with you Makes the flame burn good”

It took me so long to finally post something but here it is! I hope you like the creation of euphoric me because let's be real, no way I'd write this fully without being euphoric :3 Technically it should've been posted on Pride Month but shh...

Dividers: @cafekitsune p1 p2

Song: I don't smoke by Mitski

©2023, froggy-anon and their related entities. All rights reserved.

[sunnylandsworldwithwords]

No shame! here’s proper punctuation with a simple format and the dictionary definitions because i used to be that writer who was where some of you are now. 💖

1. Full stop

A full stop is the punctuation name for a mark that is used to show the end of a sentence, as shown in this punctuation example:

'Lucy went clothes shopping. She bought a lovely new skirt.'

Full stops are used to indicate that it is the end of a sentence, usually communicating a complete point or thought. It highlights a new sentence is about to begin.

2. Commas

Commas is the punctuation name for a mark that aregreat for breaking down sentences, combining two clauses or showing us when to pause.

'Despite the fact I hate maths, I quite like learning about fractions.'

This shows how commas can add emphasis and tell the reader when to pause. Sometimes, commas can be misplaced. This is called a comma splice, where two independent clauses are connected by a comma, when they should really be separated with a full stop or semi colon or connected with a connective.

3. Question marks

Question marks simply indicate that the speaker is asking a question. They're used at the end of question (or interrogative) sentences.

'Do you still want to keep your teddy bear?'

4. Exclamation marks

Exclamation marks is the punctuation name for a mark that can change the meaning and tone of a sentence. They still end a sentence, but they can add emotion - whether that's excitement, anger or nervousness!

'Look, it's a cat!'

'I'm so nervous about my SATs exams!'

'I can't believe you just said that!'

All three of these sentences convey very different emotions using an exclamation mark, so it can be confusing. Yet imagine if they used a full stop instead - these emotions would be much harder to read and understand.

A sentence which needs an exclamation mark is called an exclamatory sentence.

5. Colons

A colon is the punctuation name for a mark that is used to connect two clauses.

'Never go out in the sun without sunscreen: you#ll damage your skin.'

They're also great for introducing a list of three or more things.

'I'm visiting four cities this summer: Rome, Florence, Paris, and Seville.'

6. Semicolons

Semicolons get a bad reputation for being difficult, but in truth, they're super handy!

You can use a semicolon to join 2 main (or independent clauses) which have equal importance. For example,

'Katie was hungry; she hadn't eaten all day.'

Semicolons show a closer relationship between the clauses than a full stop would show.

7. Apostrophes

Apostrophe is a punctuation mark that can be quite confusing for many children, but it's really important that children learn how to use it properly.

Apostrophes are used to identify something that belongs to someone or to show a letter or multiple letters are missing from a word. Yet as simple as this sounds, many children and adults often misplace or forget apostrophes, even putting them somewhere they shouldn't be altogether. The following sentence shows how to use an apostrophe for contractions, where letters are missing from "were not", "of the clock" and "cannot".

"We weren't meant to leave before 4 O'clock, so we can't go yet."

Apostrophes can also be used to show the possessive form of a singular noun.

"The student's job was to make sure no one touched the pet rabbit's breakfast."

With plural nouns where the word already has an 's' at the end, an apostrophe just gets added at the end.

"The girls' toy truck had broken."

If the word is plural and doesn't have an 's' at the end, again one can be added.

"The women's business meeting had been delayed."

One of the most common misuses of apostrophes is putting them in words which are just plural and don't show possession or contraction. For example, words such as pencils, ghosts, houses, or guests never need an apostrophe.

8. Dash

A dash is the punctuation name for a mark that used to separate words into statements. There are two common types of dashes: en dash and em dash which vary in length. The en dash is twice as long as a hyphen and is most commonly used to signify a range between two words or numbers, for example the date range:

1990-2014.

Meanwhile,the em dash can be used in place of a comma, parenthesis, or colon to enhance readability or emphasize the conclusion of a sentence. For example:

She gave him her answer—No!

8. Hyphen

This list of punctuation marks isn't exhaustive, but it does contain the most commonly used punctuation marks with names. For example:

Sarah had a part-time job that she worked on a Saturday

9. Parentheses

A parenthesis is a word, phrase, or sentence that is inserted into writing as extra information using brackets, commas or dashes. For example:

'James (who was terrified of heights) was going to ride the biggest rollercoaster in the theme park

When a whole sentence is written inside a parenthesis then the full stop will be included inside the parenthesis, for example - Please read this story. (You'll be amazed.). However, if the majority of a sentence is written outside the parentheses, then the full stop should also be used on the outside, for example, You are late (aren't you?).

10. Brackets

Brackets is the punctuation name for a mark that is a curved symbol that looks like () and they are used to separate non-essential or additional information from a sentence. For example:

She finally answered (after taking five minutes to think) that she didn’t understand the question.

11. Quotation marks

Quotation marks is the punctuation name for a mark that is the primary type of punctuation used in quotes. These are inverted commas that are used as either single (‘ ’) or double (“ ”) sets. They are used either to mark the beginning and end of a title or quoted passage. For example:

Walking across the beach Mary said, "the weather is very sunny today".

12. Ellipsis

An ellipsis(plural ellipses) is a punctuation mark made up of 3 dots. Ellipses are commonly used to indicate the omission of words, lines or paragraphs from a quoted passage. For example:

'Today...we are proud to announce our new product.'

Dictionary version [better version In my opinion]

What is a typographical symbol?

The term typographical symbol, or any other number of phrases, refers to a character or symbol that isn’t considered to be a punctuation mark but may still be used in writing for various purposes. Typographical symbols are generally avoided in formal writing under most circumstances. However, you may see typographic symbols used quite a bit in informal writing.

Typographical symbol examples

The following examples show some ways that a writer might use typographical symbols. Keep in mind that some of these sentences may not be considered appropriate in formal writing.

The frustrated actor said she was tired of her co-star’s “annoying bull****.”

For questions, email us at anascabana@bananacabanas.fake!

The band had five #1 singles on the American music charts during the 1990s.

My internet provider is AT&T.

Period (.)

A period is used to end a declarative sentence. A period indicates that a sentence is finished.

Today is Friday.

Unique to them, periods are also often used in abbreviations.

Prof. Dumbledore once again awarded a ludicrous amount of points to Gryffindor.

Question mark (?)

The question mark is used to end a question, also known as an interrogative sentence.

Do you feel lucky?

Exclamation point (!)

The exclamation point is used at the end of exclamations and interjections.

Our house is haunted!

Wow!

Comma, colon, and semicolon

Commas, colons, and semicolons can all be used to connect sentences together.

Comma (,)

The comma is often the punctuation mark that gives writers the most problems. It has many different uses and often requires good knowledge of grammar to avoid making mistakes when using it. Some common uses of the comma include:

Joining clauses: Mario loves Peach, and she loves him.

Nonrestrictive elements: My favorite team, the Fighting Mongooses, won the championship this year.

Lists: The flag was red, white, and blue.

Coordinate adjectives: The cute, happy puppy licked my hand.

Try out this quiz on the Oxford comma!

Colon (:)

The colon is typically used to introduce additional information.

The detective had three suspects: the salesman, the gardener, and the lawyer.

Like commas, colons can also connect clauses together.

We forgot to ask the most important question: who was buying lunch?

Colons have a few other uses, too.

The meeting starts at 8:15 p.m.

The priest started reading from Mark 3:6.

Semicolon (;)

Like the comma and the colon, the semicolon is used to connect sentences together. The semicolon typically indicates that the second sentence is closely related to the one before it.

I can’t eat peanuts; I am highly allergic to them.

Lucy loves to eat all kinds of sweets;lollipops are her favorite.

Hyphen and dashes (en dash and em dash)

All three of these punctuation marks are often referred to as “dashes.” However, they are all used for entirely different reasons.

Hyphen (-)

The hyphen is used to form compound words.

I went to lunch with my father-in-law.

She was playing with a jack-in-the-box.

He was accused of having pro-Britishsympathies.

En dash (–)

The en dash is used to express ranges or is sometimes used in more complex compound words.

The homework exercises are on pages 20–27.

The songwriter had worked on many Tony Award–winning productions.

Em dash (—)

The em dash is used to indicate a pause or interrupted speech.

The thief was someone nobody expected—me!

“Those kids will—” was all he managed to say before he was hit by a water balloon.

Test your knowledge on the different dashes here.

Parentheses, brackets, and braces

These pairs of punctuation marks look similar, but they all have different uses. In general, the parentheses are much more commonly used than the others.

Parentheses ()

Typically, parentheses are used to add additional information.

I thought (for a very long time) if I should actually give an honest answer.

Tomorrow is Christmas (my favorite holiday)!

Parentheses have a variety of other uses, too.

Pollution increased significantly. (See Chart 14B)

He was at an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting.

Richard I of England (1157–1199) had the heart of a lion.

Square brackets []

Typically, square brackets are used to clarify or add information to quotations.

According to an eyewitness, the chimpanzees “climbed on the roof and juggled [bananas].”

The judge said that “the defense attorney [Mr. Wright] had made it clear that the case was far from closed.”

Curly brackets {}

Curly brackets, also known as braces, are rarely used punctuation marks that are used to group a set.

I was impressed by the many different colors {red, green, yellow, blue, purple, black, white} they selected for the flag’s design.

Angle brackets <>

Angle brackets have no usage in formal writing and are rarely ever used even in informal writing. These characters have more uses in other fields, such as math or computing.

Quotation marks and apostrophe

You’ll find these punctuation marks hanging out at the top of a line of text.

Quotation marks (“”)

The most common use of quotation marks is to contain quotations.

She said, “Don’t let the dog out of the house.”

Bob Ross liked to put “happy little trees” in many of his paintings.

Apostrophe (‘)

The apostrophe is most often used to form possessives and contractions.

The house’s back door is open.

My cousin’s birthday is next week.

It isn’t ready yet.

We should’ve stayed outside.

Slash and ellipses

These are two punctuation marks you may not see too often, but they are still useful.

Slash (/)

The slash has several different uses. Here are some examples:

Relationships: The existence of boxer briefs somehow hasn’t ended the boxers/briefs debate.

Alternatives: They accept cash and/or credit.

Fractions: After an hour, 2/3 of the audience had already left.

Ellipses (…)

In formal writing, ellipses are used to indicate that words were removed from a quote.

The mayor said, “The damages will be …paid for by the city … as soon as possible.”

In informal writing, ellipses are often used to indicate pauses or speech that trails off.

He nervously stammered and said, “Look, I … You see … I wasn’t … Forget it, okay.”

I don’t do not own any information listed above. This can all be found on google/chrome/safari

Divider credits go to @cafekitsune

[lynyangell]

Fanfic Writers 20 Questions

Fanfic Writer 20 Questions

OOoo a shiny new game thing that gives me an excuse to yap about my fic??? Yes please! I was tagged by @wingsofescape, thanks friend! These are fun!

1.How many works on Ao3?

45! I'm honestly kinda proud of that number. In October 2024, there were 2.

2. Total AO3 Word Count?

I hate looking up my stats damn 348,171! That's wiiiiiiild

Again, in October 2024, about 5k

3. Top 5 fics by Kudos

Sir (cuz everybody loves the smut LOL)

Must Love Dogs (cuz everybody loves Hayate)

Dream a Little Dream (I have no idea why)

It Matters to Me (cuz it's one of the oldest)

Strawberry Wine (cuz it's the first in my big series)

4. What fandoms do you write for?

FullMetal Alchemist!! At this point exclusively! (Unless you count the Gilmore Girls Crossover AU....and I do!)

5. Do you respond to comments?

100% of the time! Comments are the best thing in the WORLD. All I want for Christmas is comments.

6. Angstiest Ending?

I have some pretty angsty fics. But I usually dip up into something at least a little hopeful? I'll prolly say Angel With a Shotgun (SFW version). They're at war, that stuff is rough

7. Fic with the happiest ending?

Definitely Something to Talk About

8. Do you get hate?

Definitely not since I started writing again. Maybe occasionally back in my ff.net days? But so far no!

9. Do you write smut?

Oh hell yes.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I would have said no to this until very recently, but @hawkeyes-darling and I are doing a FMAxGilmore Girls AU Crossover series. It's pretty wild!

We're going to be going through all 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls but replacing the characters with our characters from FMA. So of course, tons of things change, b/c they're different people who respond to the same situations differently!

Stargazing is the prequel to Grumman Girls!

11. Ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! I did have an old fic a LONG time ago posted to another random archive, and I wasn't aware of it, but I was credited :shrug:

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but it would be cool!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic?

I am for the first time right now, and it's super fun! Looking forward to doing more work like this in the future!

14. All time favorite ship?

Say it with me now: ROYAI.

15. WIPs you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oooo. This is hard.

Sometimes I doubt I'll ever finish my longfic, Oh My Dear. Because it's hard. And long. But I love it so much, and I already have other fics for the series written, including I'll Keep You Safe which is extra special to me because of the artwork @awesomedurraworld has drawn for it!

16. Writing strengths?

I would hope that I do a good job of portraying people who have been traumatized and how they deal with and process their emotions. Since as a mental health counselor, that's kinda my thing.

I try....really, really, really hard to accurately portray the characters personalities and how who they are when they are alone/with their intimate partner is different than who we see onscreen/on the pages. But it's still the same person. IDK if that makes sense to anyone. #LynRambles

17. Writing Weaknesses?

SO. Many. Things. Commas are the bane of my existence. I feel like I'm shit at describing settings/surroundings/details/clothing, that kind of thing. And I have 0 original ideas. (This is a lie. I refuse to acknowledge my original ideas b/c I don't believe I will ever have the skill to write them.)

18. Thoughts on mixed language dialogue?

I don't really use it, cuz it pretty much doesn't fit into my fandom? I've used it in the past and then tried to use context clues to make the translation clear, and then I actually DID get hate for the way I did it, now that I think about it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. Like everybody else my age.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Okay so my honest to goodness favorite is not yet published. It's called "Need You to Love Me", and it will be coming soon! It's also currently the longest I've ever written!

But of those that are already published.....I'm very very partial to "Beautiful Disaster". Or I could just say "Stolen Moments", and I wouldn't be lying LOL. (SFW Stolen Moments)

Tagging @hawkeyes-darling, @baudleaires, @edxwin-elric, and @theblueeyedfirebender whoever else wants to do this!

[keresnotceres]

MW2 CHARACTERS: School AU

[sfw] cw(s): none !!! As a girlie who has been reading fanfiction for god knows how long, it was inevitable that I came through with a High/Secondary School AU. As a reminder, I don’t know shit abt the British school system so we’re going with my experiences with the American public school system. enjoy dovies <3

Ghost is that one upperclassman in every single one of your co-grade classes that just sits there. He doesn’t say a damn word and you don’t even see him writing down any notes, but somehow, he has the best grades in the whole fucking school. Principal’s honor roll, scholarship recognization galore.

It takes so long for you to work up the courage to talk to him and ask him for help on an assignment and when he admits he doesn’t know they had an assignment to do, you’re a bit dumbfounded. You realize that he quite literally just sits there and vibes the entire time. He proceeds to turn back to the window and stare out of it.

Eventually he warms up to you, though. It takes, like, three months of pestering him until he actively begins conversations with you and you find yourself with a very stoic cheat sheet. He has kept all of his tests and is perfectly fine with just giving you them bc what are morals???

Gaz is the local “i know him but we aren’t friends” kid. Literally everybody knows his name, he’s on the school’s soccer (football, i guess) team and is relatively well known as a nice person, but he only has a few close friends. His grades are also insanely high, you don’t understand how he manages to ace every test while also spending most of his time practicing sports.

He’s the type of person to forget a pencil, however, and usually ends up leaning over to whoever is next to him and asking for one. He usually gives it back, unless it’s someone he doesn’t particularly like. When he tries to give it back to you and you just tell him to keep it, he likes you automatically.

He’s always inviting you to watch his games after the two of you get closer. He also sits with you during shared study halls or lunches regardless of if you or he has other friends in the lunch. Gaz is also the type of person to lean over and ask if you wanna share the copy of an assignment document or swap essays to proofread.

Soap is absolutely the really loud jock kid that people either really like or really hate, and there’s just no in-between (i’m so sorry Foap 😭). Despite this, he’s actually one of those really nice sport boys that will start punching if someone disrespects his friends. He’s also in an abundance of art classes.

In class you can see him scribbling down notes until he gets bored and starts just doodling in his notebook, tuning out the lecture. However, if your science teacher decides today is not a teaching day and puts on something like Bill Nye or The Magic School Bus, he is enraptured. Is also the person to quietly chant “Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!” during the theme song. Used to hate the Amoeba Sisters until he binged their videos before his Biology final lol.

You start being friends with him on complete accident after you help him with a question on a pop quiz. He gave you puppy eyes! How could you refuse! He proceeds to talk to you the next day like the two of you are best friends and you are now stuck with him until graduation. But hey! You basically have a bodyguard now.

Price is an Honors English and AP Literature teacher through and through. He originally wanted to be a history teacher, but the English position was open and he took it with little complaint. He’s absolutely the teacher you can launch into tangents for the entire class and will take half a point off of your essays for misusing a comma.

If you're his favorite student, he tends to grade your FRQs and other assignments much harsher than he would others, but it ends with you having well rounded essay skills afterwards and acing your assignments later in the year. Will let you hang out in his room during your study halls and is always open to helping you on assignments if you ask.

Hangs thank you notes from students on his walls, has a wild collection of them and shows them off any time another teacher asks him about them. Has cried reading some from students he liked having in his classes.

Laswell is a Geometry, Pre-Calculus, and Calculus professor. Idc what u think she is absolutely a math teacher and would absolutely have a doctorate. People who don't like math probably go into her class also not liking her, but come out at the end of the year wanting to be in her class next year.

If you're one of her favorite students, she absolutely gives you little notes on your graded tests like 'good job :)' and always says she's proud of you if your grades improve during the year. She also lets you and your friends eat lunch in her room because she understands why you'd rather be in a math room than the cafeteria.

Has never been seen without a coffee during the first four periods of the day and a random beverage during the last three. She always has a drink with her and it's become a bit of a game between a few of her students. Sometimes she'll give someone who asks a drink as well. A student she particularly liked tried to pay her to bring them coffee; she gave them their money back and brought them a coffee.

Nikolai is a history teacher that also coaches the school golf team. And yes, golf team; that man radiates golf energy and I cannot be told otherwise. He doesn't understand the kids' obsession with things like Kahoot, but makes them because it keeps kids engaged with the class and mostly keeps grades up.

Being one of Nikolai's favorite students is hard if you don't golf, but if you are a favorite, he tends to give you extensions of assignments if you're struggling to find time/motivation. Also will give you candy under the table if you win a Kahoot, or if you visit him during a study hall he will also give you candy. He gives out Smarties (the American version) because he thinks the name is funny.

If you show interest in learning Russian and ask him how to roll your Rs or how to pronounce the Cyrillic letters, he will automatically like you more than the others. As long as he feels like you're earnestly learning it out of interest and not just to make him like you, that is. If you already know Russian he'll like you anyway. Sometimes it's nice to speak his native tongue.

[butter-your-flies]

hey im riley im new i live in las vegas my chemical romance makes me dance

(if you get the reference kiss me)

No Trump, No KKK, No Fascist USA

I use she/they pronouns, I am 17, I don't mind adults following me but don't be a weirdo

im fucking annoying dont follow me if you hate annoying people

Online Status: im tired of updating this

Mood: FUCK

Member of @freakforfrankcult

The Jayce to my Viktor and love of my life: @enokithescum :)

Vote me for president!

PHUCKING VOTE PHAN DO NOT VOTE JEDUS YOU PHAG

I usually don't tag for spoilers not because I hate everyone and want to ruin it for them but because im lazy so follow AT YOUR OWN RISK

Main fandoms (this updates like once a day if you're like wtf is riley into now just check this)

Really there's no accurate way to describe the fandoms that I am in so currently I'll consider this a Bandom, dnp, and Zelda blog, but those are obviously not the only things I enjoy and blog about. Follow at your own risk I am all over the place (had to chjage this i forgot the comma)

update as of 11/29/24 i love arcane this is also an arcane blog

Riley Rates Tangled the Series (coming soon)

Every year I rewatch the show, and this year I decided to start rating each episode as I watch. I will also be rating the songs in episodes that have them, along with overall season ratings. I'll be doing this every year until I get tired of it to see how my opinions change.

This year's tag is #riley rates tangled the series (2025), and for other rewatch content unrelated to my rating series, go to #river rewatches tangled the series for pre-2025 and #riley rewatches tangled the series for 2025 onward. For polls, go to #you rate tangled the series (2025)

DNI

Trump supporters

People who romantically ship family members, minors and adults, romance/sex repulsed aroace characters with anyone, basically anything problematic

People who hate on nonproblematic ships and oc x canon ships (you're annoying)

Also rpf haters because you're annoying and it's really not as big of a deal as you think it is

Blank blogs, if you're gonna follow me you're gonna have to be more than a default pfp with no reblogs. I automatically assume you are a bot, and even if you're not a bot part of tumblr is reblogging things...

Racists, homophobes, transphobes, misogynists, zionists, terfs, and other bigoted dumbasses. This is not a space for you

Kink blogs go away, I'm a minor

Basically if you suck leave

If you're under 13 you can interact but there IS mild (most of the time) nsfw content on my blog so...i dont recommend it

dr pepper haters /j

Other Stuffz

Most of my posts are untagged shitposts or vents or just personal stuff in general so uh yeah...I used to tag it but I'm lazy and honestly if you don't like it just don't follow me or suck it up bro

i also dont put trigger warnings most of the time and i talk about some heavy subjects

SEND ME ASKS. Literally it could be anything and I'd answer it, there is NO SUCH THING AS TMI TO ME!

If you send me an anon ask, it will be tagged with #anon :D and if you are not on anon it will be tagged with #[your name] :D, so if I sent myself an ask it would be tagged with #butter-your-flies :D

Feel free to ask to be mutuals as well, and don't be scared to DM me.

Other Socials

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Youtube-@rivloveszelda

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Secret Share

Mutuals feel free to ask for my airbuds, spotify, and discord

[wander-wren]

small things to stop doing in your fics

(or any kind of writing, but i live on ao3. we begin with flat-out crimes and then slowly start moving into things that just bug me personally but aren’t wrong)

epithets. if i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a thousand times. you should only be using epithets for characters whose names we do not know. they can also be used VERY rarely to break up the repetition of names/pronouns or to emphasize characters’ relationships/viewpoints, ie “his boyfriend” or “the asshole.”

writing out accents. please stop. you can include a couple of small things, like “somethin’” or “ya” (for “you”), but even keep that to a minimum. specific turns of phrase/references go way farther imo to establish a character’s culture/background/etc. a little goes a long way, and doing it repeatedly can make sentences hard to parse. this also! applies! to children and babytalk! have you ever listened to a child speak? toddlers can enunciate pretty well!

not enough commas. put commas before names and titles. it’s not “Hey John” or “I’m on it captain,” it’s “Hey, John” and “I’m on it, captain.” also, put them after discourse markers/interjections such as “well,” “so,” and “now.” you should be writing “So, how are the kids?” not “So how are the kids?” even if your character is speaking quickly, you still want the commas because of grammar. it can occasionally be acceptable to omit them if you want to indicate extreme excitement/panic/anger/etc, but use it sparingly.

too many commas. i’m a comma fiend like the rest of you so i’m guilty here too, but we gotta at least stop with the comma splices. commas split and independent and dependent clause, meaning that one part of the sentence cannot grammatically stand alone. if all parts are complete sentences on their own, that’s a comma splice. try splitting it into two sentences, using a semicolon, or rewriting. this is usually fine in dialogue, though, that’s just how people talk.

also, using a lot of commas to denote panic is something i used to be HUGELY guilty of and now i hate it. instead of, “I, I, I don’t, I don’t know,” you can try, “I-I…I don’t—I don’t know!” probably not that much punctuation that close together, but for the sake of example. emdashes and ellipses, my beloveds 🫶

roleplay speak. i don’t know what else to succinctly call this? i’m referring to the tendency to be redundant and over-explain, especially in dialogue. it’s a phenomenon i see constantly in rp circles, usually because of post length requirements (and i have little issue with it there, it’s just the culture). things like:

“Surprise!” Adam shouted, popping out from behind the door.

“Oh my god!” Scott screamed, having been completely startled and not expecting Adam to be home yet.

yeah, we can guess that Scott is startled, right? because of the screaming? and clearly if Adam is surprising Scott it stands to reason his presence is unexpected? why are we stating this twice?

i believe this also comes from the mistaken idea that every line of dialogue needs a tag attached, which is….horrible. you can let the dialogue exist on its own sometimes, friends. you can also include an action beat without a tag. like above, i could have just said “Adam popped out from behind the door” and omitted the shouting altogether. we can assume he is being loud because that’s usually how people do surprises. anyway. moving on.

condescending to readers. this isn’t so much about writing as it is author’s notes and the like, and “condescending” may be a strong word, but i’m trying to be succinct. at any rate, please stop telling your audience to not read your fic? “do not read if sensitive to [blank]” or “if you have [disorder] skip this fic!” is a horrible way to trigger warn. people know their own boundaries. tell them what the work actually contains and let them self-select.

i also find “rest stop/check-in” type notes condescending, like “if you are reading this between the hours of 10pm-4am, go to sleep” and “STOP! have you eaten/drank/walked around in the past few hours? go do that!” again, we know ourselves. i’m not your kid, don’t tell me what to do. i don’t mind a polite, casual little “thanks for reading, remember to drink water and take your meds, bye” note, though.

the others in this category? i will straight up not read the fic over that on some days. ESPECIALLY because, in my experience, the people who are most intense about warning for every little thing are the ones with the mildest fics, and that’s not what i’m here for.

complaining about your own wrong tags. this is, admittedly, such a nitpick, and it definitely is more common in certain communities than others. but as longtime followers may know, i’m a bit obsessed with ao3’s tagging system and it drives me BONKERS when people use the wrong tags and follow it with “not actually but there’s no tag for xyz.” here’s the thing: you can still look at all the works that have ANY tag, just the non-canonized ones can’t be filtered on. and the best way to get a tag canonized is, guess what, to USE it! imagine that. also, if you’re using the wrong tag, you’re just going to clog the filter results and get people who don’t actually want to read your fic. just stop.

[thekittyburger]

i actually hate you so fucking much. your art is stupid and low-quality. your typing style pisses me tf off. your posts are bullshit. unfollowed, blocked, and sent to 3 of my friends so we can make fun of you.

-sophie 4 fake anon hate

An interesting departure from typical tumblr anon hate!

You've clearly identified 3 areas of which your hate comes from: art, typing style, and posts, whereas most anons are utterly incomprehensible in their rage. A refreshing change. The language choice to include proper punctuation in your ask, most notably the commas in your asyndetic list portray a measured and educated mind, the set up has clearly been thought through so as to be understood thoroughly. However, the other language choice to include no capitalised letters suggests a degree of disinterest, you're educated enough to compose a well-thought out ask whilst not even caring. A true ''idc about this, but I feel it is my civic duty to send you this ask''. The usual ''you care too much'' response would fall short against this ask.

The choice to include 'unfollowed' also brings the recipient a certain sting of rejection. This anon isn't one who has stumbled across your post and pissed on the poor. This is a devoted follower, turned away from you. Possibly even a mutual. Cutting.

Ultimately ending with the mention of '3 ... friends' reminds the reader of their own friendships. Do they have 3 friends they could send a shitty post to? Unlikely on this website. Not Anon though. Anon is winning.

A solid 8/10. I believe it could benefit from some structure in spacing. Whilst the enjambment does create an air of nonchalance, as if this is just a casual stream of conscience, emphasising the previously mentioned disinterest, I think structure may help emphasise the thoughts you're conveying, especially in your use of short sentences.

Overall great job!! @kermit-willsellyoueggs

[synonomy]

Fanfic Author Interview

Aw damn I got tagged in something! Thank you to the lovely @imsiriuslyreading <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

27.

What's your total AO3 word count?

347,553

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Ignoring the non-Marauders stuff, my number one is For My Impertinence, a Wolfstar A/B/O Regency AU. 91k words - 2,355 kudos.

And my second to fifth are just all the fics in my Truly Two series lol. Also a Wolfstar A/B/O AU, wherein Sirius never went to Azkaban and is raising Harry with Remus. 45k words - 3,457 kudos altogether.

Do you respond to comments?

Always! Though sometimes it takes me a while. Years in some cases lol

The only time I won't is if you're one of those lovely people who comment on every single chapter (when the whole fic is complete). Then I'll usually just respond to the first and last.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I wrote unrequited love once. For my OTP at the time. Don't know what possessed me.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Nowadays they're all pretty sappy. At 32 I'm just about out of my emo teen phase, finally.

Do you write crossovers?

Nope. Generally find them cringe.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really. One anonymous comment back in like 2015. Then on FMI I had someone aggressively complaining about the background Jegulus because I hadn't explicitly tagged it (which is fair enough tbh), but they were complimentary otherwise. I don't think they're gonna like what I have in mind for the sequel heh

Do you write smut?

Oh yeah. Honestly the rest of the story is just foreplay.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Somebody told me (that you had a boyfriend) that one of my fics was on Wattpad (lol) once, but I couldn't see it myself without an account. Pissed me off though; I rallied the troops to harass them and apparently the person took it down. Again this was like 2013 lol

Have you ever had a fic translated?

People used to ask me all the time if they could, but very rarely would I receive the requested link to a finished work. Although, to be fair, I sometimes wouldn't reply until like four years later, so... who knows? I think there's a couple linked to my stuff on AO3; if there's any others, they are posted elsewhere.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. I imagine I'd fall in love with the person I could do that with happily (I'm generally a control freak with my work)

What's your all-time favourite ship?

I can't say 'all-time' 'cause the times are always a-changin', know what I mean? Currently it's Wolfstar, but I have been equally obsessive about many other doomed gays.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I always think I'm never gonna finish anything. It's only when I'm literally in the last paragraph that I think maybe I'll have a chance this time lol. FMI was a huge fluke I think. Previously I always avoided doing chaptered fics because I was so certain I'd never finish them.

What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhhhh I guess I can do dialogue okay?

What are your writing weaknesses?

I overexplain. The 'show, don't tell' rule committed suicide because of me. Too many adverbs, too many commas, too much in general. I try reeeeally hard to be more subtle and succinct, but it's a constant process of reining myself in.

A fic is also never truly done with me. I'm still tweaking and formatting shit I posted like a decade ago.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I wouldn't do it unless I was confident in my ability to speak that language in that particular context in real life.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Jegulus as the focus (but I'll be trying my hand at that real soon, hoho!) Otherwise, Hannigram.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Oh man there's this stupid little 4k smutty thing I wrote for bandom waaaay back in the day. And I like it mostly because I think I did really well at not being overexplain-y heh

This was really fun! Thanks again for thinking of me! I'll tag: @euripidestrousers, @theresthesnitch, @matildadaism ... I would do more but I don't know who writes and who doesn't lol BASICALLY if you want to do this consider yourself tagged!!!

[j4ck-0f-a11-tr4d3z]

Perter Parker x Stark!reader- Iron Deficiency

chapter two!!

word count: 2.5 k

warnings: talk of familial deaths (off page), light mentions of disassociation, masking of early signs of depression, quick mentions of religion, Yln = your last name, may seem OOC, self indulgent fic

summery: Yn Stark’s story isn’t one that fits neatly into headlines or fairy tales. She was born from a one-night stand Tony Stark never knew happened—her mother, Leslie, chose to raise her away from the spotlight, giving Yn as normal a life as possible in a small Michigan town.

Yn was a gifted kid with a sharp sense of humor, a love of science and literature, and a knack for volleyball and band. But between the lines of her report cards and trophies, her life was lined with tragedy. She survived a car crash that took her mother and sister, a school shooting that killed her younger siblings, and the loss of her father figure to cancer shortly after. She now lives with her grandma, still reeling, still rebuilding.

There are pieces of her that don’t fit together perfectly—like how she’s brilliant at math but hates trig with a burning passion. How she adores Shakespeare and writes poetry but uses gory special effects makeup to cope with urges to self-harm. How she’s outspoken about SA, gun safety, and distracted driving, but keeps her own trauma buried deep where no one can touch it.

She’s Hellenistic, bisexual, and a lowkey anime nerd. She’s been through hell and somehow came out not soft—but burning. She’s a survivor, a sister, a daughter, a mess, and a miracle.

In this chapter tensions explode after Tony reveals himself as Yn’s biological father, leading to a storm of emotions and a dramatic exit. Left in the wreckage, Tony finally begins to grasp the depth of what he’s walked into. With guilt heavy on his shoulders, he makes a quiet attempt to reach out—offering not answers, but a door left open, just in case she ever wants to walk through it.

It was a sunny but cold day in Sylvania Ohio. The sun was setting in the background of dinner in the one story house. Elle was toddling around with Grandma as aunt Jess was working on dinner just one room over, you could look through the open concept flooring and peek your head around and see her chopping lettuce next to the stove top embedded in the marvel counter top. 

Aunt Jess’ long wavy hair was pulled into a messy– but surprisingly well put together bun. The smell of chicken uncle Paul was grilling flowed in through the open sliding back door. You were sat on the couch, scrolling through some messages your friends from school sent you. They’re worried. They realized almost instantaneously the change in demeanor when you woke up from the comma the crash put you in. 

E: hey gang

E: you sounded more upset than usual when we were on the phone with Ira and Alice earlier… E: you ok?

Ethan's messages sat on read.

A: Haii!! Are you still coming to movie night in Chelsea on the 18th still?

Anubis’ message was also left on read. 

B: hey, I saw your reposts on tt..

B: you wanna talk abt it?

Brooke’s messages sat on read as well.

How do you explain to the people who are so used to you being the happy, go-lucky, bright girl they used to become the reserved, meak, dim girl you are now. Your schedule everyday since your fathers death was to wake up in the darkened room in your uncle and aunts house, check your social media before your alarm to start the day goes off. When the alarm goes off you hall your half awake self to the bathroom across the hall to brush your teeth and wash your face.

The bathroom was kinda small, with small white tiles on the floor, and two rectangular gray bath mats. The walls were painted a light blue, there was a mirrored medicine cabinet above the cream sink basson installed on top of a gray set of cupboards and drawers, and a small frosted window across the room when you first walk in. There are bath toys and towels on the side of the tub, the shower curtain slightly ajar letting the morning light beam onto your face. 

Once finished you tend to go one door down and grab Elle from her room to go start breakfast before Grandma stops by to take care of you two while Paul and Jess are at work. Jess works as a desk clerk for the University Of Michigan Hospital– a place you had taken countless trips to throughout the years. Paul is a retired Army vet. and is currently working as a sales associate for a roofing and siding company. Grandma is retired and sometimes helps around the local flower shop. 

Usually when Grandma arrives she’ll let your aunt’s and uncle’s three german shepherds, Liv, Luna, and Leo out along with your childhood dog Jake, a fourteen year old border collie, while you place Elle into her highchair while still in your pj’s. Once Elle is settled you sonter over to the pantry or to the fridge to find something to get into your system. And that's how your average morning has been since your father passed in mid June of this year. 

The sound of Elle and Grandmas giggles pull you from the recalling of your days spent at your aunts and uncles home. Looking up from zoning out you see your cousin’s and grandma’s smiling faces. “Dinners ready!” aunt Jess calls from the kitchen as uncle Paul comes in with the chicken he finished grilling. Up on the menu tonight is chicken caesar salad with avocado, tortilla croutons, and ranch dressing, browned rice, and a side of tofu for you. 

“This looks really wonderful, thanks aunt Jess and uncle Paul!!” you say with a light smile. Your place setting was at one of the heads of the table, your back facing the front door, uncle Paul with his back to the sun room and back door, aunt Jess to your left, and Grandma on your right, Elles highchair in between Jess and Paul's seat. The three adults joined hands and said grace as you went to light the offering candle to Hestia, the Greek God of the hearth and home. You turned your hands face down as you mumbled a quick prayer to Hestia before moving to sit at your spot at the table. The table falls into the light buzz of dinner talk. The dogs happily munched on food, aunt Jess talks about her sisters, uncle Paul talks about the funny story he was told by a coworker, your Grandma talked about her friend Debie and her drama-filled coworker at the flower shop, and Elle babbles on incoherently. You listened intently to each person loving the dinner talk and how calm the atmosphere always feels. And then there was a ding that came from the front door's bell, and since you were the closest you got up to check who was at the door. 

At the sound of the doorbell Luna– being an ex k9 unit dog, got up to investigate alongside you staying perched right beside your knees as you opened the door. You couldn't help but wonder who it could be considering it was dinner time, usually people were eating by now and not bothering their neighbors, but you digress. As you open the door you’re met with a man dressed in a button down, slacks, a pair of loafers, and a pair of aviator sunglasses to tie the look together. At this point Jake has slowly gotten up to join Luna in her investigation. 

“Hi,” the man said. “may I come in?” you look over your shoulder and motion for uncle Paul to come check the situation out. “Who is it?” your uncle asked as he wiped his hands with a napkin and started to get up to join you at the door. That's a good question, who is this? Upon closer inspection you realize the man on the stoop of your uncle and aunt's home was none other than Tony freaking Stark. “It’s Tony Stark!” you hollar over your shoulder to your approaching uncle. 

“Do I let him in orrrr???” you drag out the last letter in confusion and uncle Paul opens the door fully to assess the situation. “Is there anything I can help you with Mr. Stark?” your uncle asks quizzically, silently questioning what kind of business would drag Tony Stark out to suburban Ohio– which was coincidentally the same thing your aunt and grandma were wondering too.  

“There in fact is, do you mind if I step in to have a conversation with you all?”

Uncle Paul glanced over his shoulder to check with aunt Jess first before he let the billionaire in. Aunt Jess side-eyed Grandma before she looked back at Paul and nodded. Uncle Paul and yourself stepped back to let him in. Tony couldn't even take two steps without being pounced on by Luna. She was excitedly sniffing and trying to lick Tony. “Luna, down.” your uncle commanded swiftly. “kennel.” and with that command Luna trotted off to her kennel and laid down with her tail wagging, Luna loved when the house got visitors. 

The dinner on the table is now abandoned as the six of you sat in the open-concept living room. It was Paul, Jess with Elle in her lap, Grandma, you, and Tony all spread out on the couch and armchair. The floor of the living room was scattered with toys– baby and dog alike. “Ok, well let's get this show on the road, shall we?” Tony started rhetorically. 

“Ok then, I’m sure the three of you are very confused as to why the billionaire, genius, now ex playboy, philanthropist is doing in your home. Well you see I was recently sent a letter from a Leslie Yln,” you were originally fiddling with a piece of dead skin on the side of your thumb, but hearing the name of your mom made you look up and hold eye contact with Tony before he continued. “the letter itself was her telling me how I had a daughter named Yn, and that if I had received said letter it was because she and her husband had passed on. I came here myself to see if it was true, and if it was then to come take custody of her considering I haven't given up my parental rights.” 

“What?!” you exclaimed, jumping up from your spot on the couch. Your head was spinning at the thought of Matthew not being your bio dad “No. No!! Matthew Yln is my dad, not you!” you were getting so defensive over Matthew’s fraternal claim over you even though he had one, passed– and two, hadn’t always been very fatherly towards you, but was still the closest thing you had. Not this grown man who plays dress up and superheroes with his best buddies. 

“Everyone is confused but let's calm down sweethear–” Grandma started but you cut her off rather quickly, emotions running high. “No!! You think that once all my family dies tragically you can swoop in and collect your prize?! That's not how this works!!” you exclaimed, Elle is starting to get fussy from your yelling. “I have feelings too!! I have a life here—friends and family!! You think that since you have some fraternal right over me you can impact the course of my life however it benefits you?! WELL I HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE HERE SWEET CHEEKS, THAT'S NOT HOW THIS IS GANNA HAPPEN!!”You scream and run off to your room.

Your heart beat felt like it was in your ears and like your stomach had dropped by fifteen stories. As you slammed the door behind you and curled up under the covers you couldn't help but feel the motions of what you were going through. It felt like emotional whiplash, a raw re-opening of wounds that had barely scabbed over at hearing your mother’s name. There was defensiveness, anger, loyalty, confusion. Even if he wasn’t Father of the Year, Matthew was there. He was your dad. Tony saying he’s taking “custody” sounds like erasing him and his memory. Along with feeling out of control, and scared, like your autonomy is being threatened.

You had been tossed around by fate like a damn ragdoll, or a constantly up rooted potted plant—siblings gone, mom gone, dad gone, house shifted, school switched, friends lost. And now this? Some billionaire man you’ve only seen on news headlines claiming ownership of your life? And not to forget the guilt and shame you felt. Elle had started to get fussy from the yelling and you know you scared the baby. That’s a gut punch. You don’t want to be the problem. But in this moment, you couldn't–can’t contain it.

There were so many thoughts racing through your head right now. Don’t say her name like that. You didn’t know her. You didn’t love her. You can’t replace the man who raised me just because your DNA says so. Why does everyone else get to decide my fate?! I didn’t ask for this. I’m not a pawn. And God—Elle… I scared her. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to be this. Why am I always too much?

Your throat tightens before you even realize it, like someone’s cinched an invisible cord around your neck. And then it happens—the floodgates open. The tears come hot and heavy, the kind that burn. Not delicate little trickles, but fat, angry sobs that splash down your cheeks and soak into your collar. They fall in quick succession, leaving tiny dark polka dots on your shirt and forming smeared little puddles on the sheets beneath you.

You press your palms into your eyes like that’ll somehow stop the ache, like you can physically block the grief from leaking out. But it’s no use. Your whole chest stutters with the effort of holding it in, your breath hitching in and out like a broken metronome. You try to stay quiet, for Elle’s sake, but your shoulders are shaking too hard, and the sound still escapes—a hiccup, a gasp, a tiny broken sob that you can’t swallow down fast enough.

There’s a soft thump at the door. Then a low grunt and the sound of the door being pushed open. And before you even look, you know—it’s Jake.

He heaves his hefty body up onto your bed with all the grace of a beached whale, plodding toward you with those big glassy brown eyes full of concern. The black and white patches on his fur look extra cow-like in the dim light, his little heifer self panting softly as he climbs halfway onto the bed, belly first.You don’t say anything. You don’t have to. Jake lets out a huff, circles once, then plops down beside you like he’s declaring himself your emotional support loaf.

One of your hands instinctively reaches for the thick fur behind his ear, fingers threading through it as the sobs start to slow, turning into quiet sniffles and ragged breaths. The heat in your chest simmers down into something duller—still painful, but manageable. Bearable. For now.

Your eyes are sore and puffy, but your hand finds its way to your phone out of muscle memory. You don’t even have to think. Just swipe, tap, open Spotify. The screen lights your face up in that dim, ghostly glow as you scroll to the playlist. That playlist. The one you only put on when it gets like this—when the ache’s too big for words, and all you can do is let someone else’s lyrics say it for you.

You tap play. The first soft chord slips through your earbuds, slow and deliberate, like a hug that doesn’t ask questions. Jake shifts slightly, his head landing on your shin like a weighted blanket with paws. And for a moment, you’re not in a house full of people deciding your life for you. You’re not the girl with too much trauma and not enough control. You’re just… a heartbeat in a quiet room, letting the music hold what you can’t.

There was silence, a heaviness that could be accurately compared to an anvil being dropped onto a popsicle stick bridge. No one spoke a word since you stormed off—rightfully so.“Well. That went well,” Tony muttered, dragging a hand over his face. Grandma shot him a look so intense that it could peel paint off a wall.

Tony didn’t think it would go like this. In his head, she’d hear him out. Maybe cry. Maybe hug him. Something cinematic. Not this. Not screaming. Not running off like he was the villain. Tony just sat there, hands stuffed into his pockets, like the floor might open up and he’d fall to the scorching core of the earth.

“I didn’t think she’d react like that,” he finally said.

“Well you don’t even know her well enough to have the right to make that call, you’ve been gone the past fourteen almost fifteen years.” Grandma replied, sharp as glass.

[mirjam-writes]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @suavissimapenna <3 Sorry it took so long!

How many works do you have on ao3?

7 for Sherlock and 23 Good Omens that are completely mine. 6 collaborative fics I have either partly written, or just made art for. So, 36.

What's your total ao3 word count?

380,863

What fandoms do you write for?

Good Omens! I used to write for Sherlock too, but that's now in the past.

Top five fics by kudos:

Truth Or Dare (E, 6.5K words), my first proper smut ever! Post s1 gettig together story.

Angel Of Justice (T, 9.5K), my first ever Good Omens fanfic. Post S1 from Michael POV, A/C as a background couple.

!False (It's funny because it's true) (E, 5.4k), an office romance human AU set in software company.

A Stable Relationship (E, 9.9k), horse rider AU with trans Aziraphale. Friends with benefits becoming a romantic relationship.

Girls Just Wanna Have Sun (G, 1.7k), outsider pov scene about Robin's day at the beach, where she meets two weird gentlemen who have never been to a beach before.

Do you respond to comments?

YES I DO! Slowly, possibly, but yes I do, and I read and reread them!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhh... angsty ending? What is that? Technically Be Still My Soul: The Rift, but does that count if it's a middle part of a trilogy? That's definitely my angstiest fic of all time BUT I tried to write the happiest ending possible to it. But also, yeah, people died in the war (just not A or C), so maybe I'll count that story.

Edit: WAIT NO! To Love Somebody, a story from Shadwell pov about how he fell in love both Aziraphale and Crowley, and how that changed him. That's sort of angsty and the ending is bittersweet!

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmmmmm. I have so many. I can't compare. Maybe Watching You (Watching Me), it's the porniest porn i have ever written, and it has...uh... several happy endings :D

Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far!

Do you write smut?

Yessss. I'm in my porn writer era at the moment :D

Craziest crossover:

I did some super weird anime crossovers as a teen (I hope those are long lost) but haven't dabbled on that since apart from very vague blink-and-you-miss-it references.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

One of my Sherlock fics was translated into french in 2018!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Only for one round robin event, which produced four stories! Not sure if that really counts as collaborating since we weren't allowed to talk about it when we did it, we just got the fic, read it, and added 600 words and gave it to the next one! It was super fun though.

All time favorite ship?

Aziraphale and Crowley. No competition there.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't usually start posting unless I'm 100% confident I'll finish the story, so I don't have public wips.

I had one pretty cool Sherlock post-apocalypse story idea, which I'd love to talk about if someone is interested, but writing it? Hmm probably not. But it's not really a wip, if I have only like two bullets in a doc?

What are your writing strengths?

I think I write pretty good bickerflirting and humour even in dark situations. And, uh... historical research.

What are your writing weaknesses?

LONG ASS SENTENCES. I need to cut them down. Chop chop chop. Also, I over-use commas and em-dashes.

Also, not being a native english speaker, but I think I've got a lot more fluent during the past years, so maybe that's not my biggest weakness anymore.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I have done it myself, in a situation when my pov character wasn't supposed to understand what was being discussed, but I did only a couple of lines.

My languages (apart from english) are finnish, very rough swedish, and teeny tiny bit of german, but many fics I've read that have used another language in dialogue, use French or Spanish (which are popular languages for English speakers to learn in school!), and with those I'm woefully lost!

But honestly, i don't need to understand every fic under the sun! You do you, I bet there are people who can understand whichever languages you'd like to mix in your story, and that will be amazing for them!

First fandom you wrote in?

The Book Series That Must Not Be Named. I projected so much of my teenage angst into wizard school drama.

Favorite fic you've written?

You monster! Making me choose. Uh.

Okay, fair. It's easy. Be Still My Soul, hands down. @be-still-my-soul-fanfic

No pressure tagging: @hkblack, @ambrasue, @tawnyontumblr , @ack-emma and @zehwulf and anyone else who wants to answer!

[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

🍍🍏🥝 for the fruity ask:))

Thank you!!! 🥰

🍍 What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with?

I'm not really picky with my AUs, to be honest. I like 'modern' AUs, though. @tinknevertalks's 'In the Nice Part of Town' and 'Of Sequin and Scalpels' are two of my favorite stories. I can say that I like soulmate AUs solely because of @galactic-pirates's 'Time Will Tell', which is so beautiful.

Apocalypse is also one I love, because 'Pavor Nocturnus' is one of my favorite episodes. (Though I have an irrational fear of zombies, so go figure)

I kind of have a beef with high school AUs, because I find them boring and the characters are usually reduced to stereotypical teenagers and not teenage version of themselves.

Honestly, my beefs with certain AUs is more of how the writer portrays it and the characters, not the AU itself. (For example, an AU I might hate in Supernatural, I will absolutely love in Sanctuary and Stargate SG-1).

🍏 Is there something you overuse, whether it’s a certain phrase, trope, or piece of punctuation?

Commas. 😆 Never-ending sentences, my beloved.

I also tend to overuse characters' names in dialogue and have to take them out, because no one uses each other's names that much.

And I seem to be having a love affair with the word 'however'.

I don't know if this has actually crossed over from my original writing into fics yet, but I'm also a huge sucker for brow kisses. It's probably in fics without me realizing.

There's probably more that I'm not aware of.

🥝 What’s your favorite trope/AO3 tag to write?

Favorite? I don't know! That's a cruel question. 😂

My stats on AU claim a fluff, but that's because of Flufftober, so we'll ignore that.

I love AUs and found family/platonic relationships. I just love that and I use the latter in the majority of my stories in some way.