#i got too autistic on main
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Me chatting before Italian class: because the Divine Comedy was so influential to Italian culture that it almost single-handedly made the Tuscan dialect the foundation of modern Italian-
Classmate: you know you're blushing right now
#no wonder people used to think I had a crush on Dante#good heavens#i got too autistic on main#the divine comedy#dante#dante alighieri#la divina commedia
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i think this was funnier in my head.
#puppy draws#yo-kai watch#katie forester#jibanyan#whisper#whisper ykw#usapyon#hailey anne thomas#as a diagnosed autistic person i can confirm that the autism evaluation results#just being a picture of the autism creature with text saying you have the tism is accurate#i don't even remember how this idea came to me i think i was just overly tired this morning and then this happened#also ignore the fact that i refuse to accept nate as being canon protagonist katie is like way better sorry besties <3#that's like 80% a joke. every main yo-kai watch character is my blorbo and nate is included in that#i just also prefer katie. playing 3 and rewatching the anime + reading the manga did endear me to nate more though#i like how he's average but also totally bisexual. no i will not elaborate#why do my tags always get so derailed. uhhhh back to autism. hailey is so fucking autistic ngl#there's like at least five different instances in 3 of her just completely failing to read the room#she's totally hyperfixated on sailor cuties and next harmeowny#she has adhd vibes too i think but. the tism is very strong#i can't decide my favorite part of this between the “yippee!! you have the tism” image and jibanyan asking what autism is#he doesn't know because he has autism by default through being a cat he didn't need a diagnosis#i feel like all of them are autistic tbh but that's probably just me projecting. i totally gave katie autism in the rewrite though#i wasn't even trying to i just don't know what neurotypicals are like because i got that autistic rizz. and adhd rizz. mostly the adhd#i am definitely also autistic but i think my adhd effects me a lot more in day-to-day life#since i usually just interact with my moms who know i'm autistic and are also both neurodivergent#and people online. most of who are autistic because it's mostly on tumblr and this is the autism website#yo-kai watch more like yo-gay watchtism amirite-#oh also very amused by hailey just poofing into existence in the second picture. as you do
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i have to talk to a psychiatrist friday and im so nervous……..
#idk how to like. talk#i’ve been so weird after the Not cancer and idk how to be like also. 20 years of intense trauma…….. but like back to the main thing#i’ve also never been Formally diagnosed with autism and i’m scared i’ll have to like defend it#and idk how to talk about the fact that i did LSD every single day for an entire year and that in fact did not cause my craziness it made#it a little better but now i’m SO autistic and can’t talk to people#he’s a MAN too …………………… i hope that will make things easier but im scared he’s like. dumb#there’s NO info about him online but the scheduler said she sees him and he’s really good#what does THAT mean???#idk i’m just rambling now#my official diagnosis as of right now is depression with psychotic features…… it makes it feel so real :/#context: i had a 20lb tumor in my ovary and they thought it was cancer for 2 months but it wasn’t and i got surgery and im fine now but im#depressed and dissociative#advice/encouragement PLZ
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carrying your friends around is a love language <3
#skye's doodles#wanted to draw some don interactions becuase idk. im predictable <3 he loves his friends somuch#had another to add between these but i got lazy. you understand <3#thinking abt how him ray and emma (and gilda in my heart <3) are canonically really strong from carrying the younger kids all the time#and norman.. does his best <3 i love my weak loserboy ray is absolutely providing most of the support on dons upper half#don is just so physically affectionate ithink he'd carry everyone around. emma would too#emma and don sneak attack ray and carry him around to mess w him. ray has come to accept this as a permanent part of his life#waugh eema and don friendship is so underrated and important to me. they are besties <3#love drawing ray being a blushy mess too. touch-starved autistic little guy falls in love n is handling it about as well as youd expect#need more trio + don and gilda interactions. ik the series focus is on the trio but don n gilda are also main characters. to me <3#imjust rambling now idk. i <3 don and all don dynamics#the promised neverland#tpn#yakusoku no neverland#tpn don#tpn emma#tpn ray#tpn norman#tpn gilda
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Maybe I am autistic and maybe one of my special interests is the Zelda franchise.
(I literally will not shut up about it once I get going. I've been doing this since I was like 5.)
#literally I can go on and on about lore and headcanons and the mechanics of each game and why i love them all#you dont understand i will literally never shit up if given the opportunity#my older siblings thought that they were just getting me into a game they liked too#WRONG its now an entire part of my personality and is always one stray thought away from becoming my main focus#anyway im not diagnosed but i have a feeling#or maybe ive got adhd who knows#autism#autistic#special interest#the legend of zelda#loz#legend of zelda#zelda#link#aml speaks
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Now why would my dad, this cishet construction worker pushing 60 who spend his life watching only action movies and the occasional comedy movie, suddenly got VERY into mostly romantic K-dramas ??
#the sudden shift in his interest in media is so funny to witness#I've watched a bunch with him. so far:#the one where the main guy is italian. vicenzo? it was hilarious but why did they spend an entire ep dedidacted to homophobia#sweet home. first season excellent the other two. well. no comments#ummm what else. my fav ones were extraordinary attorney woo the writing was soso good and accurate rep of autistic ppl#according to what I've read from autistic people who watched it#also the glory!!!! that one was also crazy good i loved how her revenge was never framed as a bad thing#OH and another one i loved was the kingdom. the final episodes all being a long zombie fighting sequence and the prince and his people being#progressively caked with blood. poetic cinema etc etc#uhh i also watched a short romance one with him I can't recall very well. kind of mystical? about a sorcerer that had like. a shop or smth#two more period pieces: mr queen which was also excellent!! it surprised me bc i thought it'd be comedy only? the genuine gayness of it all!#and v well written as well! a modern guy who was a misogynist echanges bodies with a queen of the past and he not only learns to what's like#to be a woman but also realizes he's bi as he falls for the king? and cries when he goes back to the future bc they broke apart??#who did it like them!!! mr queen tv show your gay subtext was too strong they had to kill you!!!#I'm currently watching the king's affection which is also like pretty gay? we'll see#anyways back to my dad i was like oh (abt the king's affection) this is a period piece right? looks interesting and he was like actually#*puffes chest* it's set in the joseon era 😌 he was SO proud of correcting me sjsjsjd#nacido para ser kpoper condenado a ser un hombre cishet maquinista de grua de casi 60#woa this post got. long lmao#z
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dude listen girls who will uhh shotgun you their weed and uhhh sneak up behind you and put a blade to your throat and and uhhh do the thing where they pull you in with their legs so you have a fanfic like moment, you guys WISH you could have the day i've just had
#dogbone#asexual kink#not really a kink post#however it is a bit too spicy for my main#i smoked weed for the first time today and it was great#and then i got shotgunned weed by my girlfriend#and that hit different#mostly because it didn't hurt my throat#i have had an EXCELLENT night#so silly tonigjt#weed that makes you autistic
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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Wrote out a big long phone call rant to have with my mother later because as much as I hate it she is my closest irl spiritual confidant 👍 here’s hoping her response to ‘hey I’ve been spiritually depressed and disconnected for like 8 months and for some reason these last two weeks advocating for Palestine has me feeling alive and burning with divine passion and love in a way I’ve never felt before in my life’ isn’t like. ‘Talk to your psyche abt your meds hun’
#ra speaks#personal#religion#oh god these tags got out of hand. look away I’m rambly today.#outing myself as deeply spiritual and devout on main oops#‘aren’t you gay and trans and -‘ listen Israel the person received that name after literally wrestling with gd in the desert#I’m allowed to put my faith leaders in a spiritual headlock for past and present crimes while I live my joyful life#maybe a physical headlock too. I’m down to body slam some wueerphobic racist pos who claim to be faithful while never exercising such faith#also lmao of the idea of a queer leftist being deeply spiritual makes you uncomfortable…bro everything about me makes ppl uncomfortable#I’m bi gender I consider myself a trans gay man and a nonbinary dyke at the same time. I’m disabled and ugly and autistic. im not palatable#accept the inherent apparent contradictory nature of the varied human experience and move on.#sorry thought about that post complaining abt observant jews being excluded from the conversations about queer jews like#you don’t have to get it. you don’t have to think it’s real! but it’s real to me! it’s important to me!#so are you gonna be my transphobic uncle and call me sick and deluded the same way he talks about trans people?#or are you gonna keep your mouth shut accept that you don’t have to understand someone to respect them and move on with your life.#anyways uh. here’s hoping I don’t lose my voice or start crying like I did while typing the script up.#vocational woes
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the book i have been proofing for work might be the first proofing project i give up on before the end of the book
#its not the worst thing i've ever read but also it's not very good#and the longer it goes on the worse it gets#unoriginal premise. quippy characters. too many characters introduced for no reason. characters retelling shit we just read over and over#there's at least three instances where a plot twist is revealed in an aside with the BBEG the chapter before it twists so it has no teeth#every woman is sex crazed (but don't worry its their religion/training/method of seduction/etc etc)#there have just been chapters where the protagonist and his love interest end up naked for basically no reason#also the most overt “the main character is autistic actually wait he has a demon in him eating his emotions” bullshit#not to mention the most ham-fisted attempts at representation that just feel disingenuous#they just introduced another set of characters doing a completely different thing from the main party and I DON'T CARE. SHUT UP#me gnashing my fucking teeth: if i was the editor i would have cut everything in this section and this one and this line sucks and#i only have a hundred pages left and if it dicked me around for 400 pages just to set up a sequel i will do a violence#AND THEY KILLED THE ANIMAL COMPANION. BEFORE HE EVEN GOT TO DO ANYTHING#DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING? YOU NEVER KILL THE ANIMAL COMPANION. FUCK YOU
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Mister Fox..have you ever thought you may have the..tism...just, maybe, a little bit of the silliness..
…What the HELL do you mean by the “tism”? Is this another insult?!
#((Mun aka me is a diagnosed autistic dont rip my head off ASRDFYHCCH))#((I also hc ren/fox as having autism too. I actually hc all 3 main boys as autistic but strade never got diagnosed 💔))
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An OC I designed a while back, as part of an idea for an OC universe of sorts based around toony aesthetics, like the kind seen in old cartoons.
His name is Tourmaline (he/they), an alien who's very inquisitive and loves to explore new places, but is also a bit ditzy and bimbo-ish. Generally very sweet, but can trip over himself trying to acclimate to the customs and cultures of new environments. He's named after the gemstone tourmaline, specifically watermelon tourmaline, due to its green/pink color scheme. Those "pigtails" of his are actually antennae, but his are big enough that he feels the need to tie them back; they're also always seen at a sort of cheated angle. He technically has a mouth, but it's only visible when necessary.
(I have another OC who's part of this same concept who I haven't drawn yet, but I'm planning on doing it sometime this month as a bit of a Pride Month thing.)
Some of his inspirations, in terms of design/personality:
#oc#alien oc#toon oc#really he just started off as a case of “take a character you like and make an oc inspired by them”#but eventually i got to thinking of how exactly he might different from marvin (his main inspo)#and i felt like it would help to include those other inspirations#technically he's also kind of inspired by another oc of mine from a different concept but i haven't posted that one here yet#and i don't want them to come off as too similar#also probably goes without saying but yes he's EXTREMELY autistic#i mean look at some of the characters that inspired him how could he NOT be?
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the hits stop coming and they don't stop coming
#every time i think i can't feel worse i discover a new blow#TO BE FAIR. IT'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN THAT BAD#i'm just like. really sensitive or something annoying like that#the worst part is that usually when i'm feeling low i can hinge my feelings on smth like 'if this happens that means everything will be okay#but then sometimes. it happens. and i still feel like the world is ending. so that didn't work now what do i do#ugh i didn't even feel this bad when i was like in the hospital a few months ago and it's literally just like. (in summary)#2 people i love are mad at me. i did really poorly in my exams and might lose my gpa. my car (highly attached) is breaking down and i need#get a new one#i start a new job tomorrow and i heard bad things about it from my classmates who started before me#+ i have serious doubts in my ability to dress neatly and well with all my shitty poorman clothes#+ i started breaking out#+ i just noticed i lost a bunch of weight likely from my hospital stay and i dunno how to get that back#+ my doctor said i'm not likely to get full mobility back at this point and it's upsetting me#also my spare tires are missing#ugh i'll be fine. i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine. i'll be fine#i'm good at dealing BUT ONLY WITH SOME OF THESE. i can deal with the car and the job and the health. but interpersonal shit?#which is the thing upsetting me the most? wow surprise surprise local autist doesn't do people good#UGH anyway sorry for complaints on main i just feel like i got too many straws rn#it's 10:30pm i'm sure i'll feel better in the morning (ignoring the fact that i've been feeling almost exactly like this for days)#ugh. it's fine. i'll deal. only way out is through or whatever
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People be like "you don't look autistic"
Bestie I may be wearing metaphorical shoes but I promise you underneath this, all I feel is wet socks. All the way down. My deepest emotion. Wet sock.
#other autistics please tell me you know what im talking about#my deepest emotion really is wet sock and im convinced this is why i have depression#hrrg its like whole body gag. like the feeling of a limb falling asleep but on all of my skin#its like being able to hear rats in your walls all the time. the sensory. why the world so sensory all the time ;-;#anyway im a bit unhinged because ive been very sick and very overstimulated for days#and i swear to go i cant do anything without wanting to bite myself in frustration#literally if i want to take a drink? oopsie i spilled it and now im wet AND sticky. two of the textures ever#PLUS my wrist hurts now because i lifted something and im still thirsty because i cant move or think when all i feel is wet and sticky#hnng wet socks. wet socks ;-;#and i cant really stim to help because im way too tired for that#plus my main stim is just. pacing. and my balance is shit right now which means i will walk into walls so many timez#and yes it hurts a lot when i walk into walls#i got the No Proprioception update for Autism apparently -_- im so tired of being inhumanly clumsy#send backup im so sleepy
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Hey so when I'm upset (like I am now) something that helps is to infodump about my special interests so anyway here's a spot where you can talk about your special interests in the tags!!!!! Go ahead!!! Have fun!!! I'm jumping in the tags right now as we speak!
#borderpolar speaks#actually neurodivergent#actually autistic#actually adhd#anyway as ive mentioned before my biggest special interest is succession and season 4 comes out on march 26th!!!!!!#and i cant wait to see all my favourite characters! im most excited to see kendall again my favourite poor little meow meow!!!#hell almost certainly cry again like he does every season and ill probably cry too tbh!!!#and then theres stewy and he got like 5 minutes of screen time or something in s3#but arian moayed (who plays him) is like oh yeah theres gonna be much more stewy this season and there better be!!!!#he was so important to the plot of s1 and semi important to the plot of s2 so i hope hes a huge player this season#because its great to see him fuck shit up for the main characters (especially logan fuck that guy)#omggggg and tom and shivs marriage is on the rocks and that is going to be a HUGE source of tension that i cant wait to witness#even typing all this out is making me feel less upset because i love that show it makes me very happy!!!!!
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Mishka has that incest autism where he disregards social norms and wants to fuck his dad, because he knows and trusts him and finds him hot, who even cares what anyone thinks. going outside and developing a connection with some total stranger is too stressful. and futile. nobody can measure up to his dad anyway. very not worth the effort.
smh, why is he like this 😔 I ask, while writing him and projecting weird shit onto him to get it out get it out out OUT of my fucking head
#dadson ocs#ocs#mishka aka august#heh. I do not trust my dad so I would never do this#the main thing I'm projecting real hard is the depression and social isolation and lack of rizz and childish fear of strangers#like I'm really bad at dating apps#some guys are very into me and I'm into them too!! but fellas.. I can't keep a conversation going so it doesn't go anywhere#inspired by some post about t4t siscon autism#the dadson autism#is that ableist... nah im autistic I have the ''create terrible representation'' pass#I have GOT to go outside and get a chubby dilf boyfriend with thick facial hair. that would fix me#I mean it wouldn't but it would be nice..........
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