#i got paid for this
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can u do cis alex k. x cis male reader smut where alex spanks the reader and perchance piss play like reader being forced 2 piss themselves pretty pretty plz :3
WARNINGS: piss, semi-public? you're in the woods, humiliation, brosex?
thanks for the 10 bucks!! Sorry it took me a while to spit this out, so i hope you like it! sorry I totally forgot to incorporate the spanking
"Alex, I need to piss dude."
You and Alex have been out in the woods since about 10 AM, working on his student film Marble Hornets. It's now 2:30, and you've had to pee for the last hour or so. And you’ve been complaining about it for that long, too, but Alex is getting increasingly annoyed.
“Then go behind a tree or something, we're in the woods,” Alex says, rolling his eyes as his warm breath turns into fog around his face. He holds his camera up to a dead tree, for some reason. He's responded this way for the past hour, disregarding your basic human need to pee. He couldn't care less if you end up wetting your pants. In fact, it might even serve as a 'I told you so' moment. That’s what he tells himself. Though, secretly, he has a different, less passive-aggressive motive behind wanting you to lose control.
“No! I’m telling you, that’s weird! What if a bird or a squirrel sees my dick or something.” Alex just rolls his eyes, completely choosing to ignore your genuine concerns of indecent forest exposure other than letting out an indignant sigh. You huff, kicking a tree stump only a few feet away from the tree Alex was focused on. Really, he could care less about whether you pissed your pants or not. He might even like it, it could be a good ‘I told you so’ moment. That’s what he told himself, anyway. In reality he’d like you pissing your pants for a very different, significantly less passive aggressive reason. 
As the next twenty minutes tick by, Alex is reaching his breaking point of annoyance, while you're bursting at the seams with urine. Shifting your weight back and forth, you continue 'whining', as Alex puts it, about needing to pee. Your absolute refusal to pee in the woods, while logical to you, is making Alex's filming process harder. So, it's either shut up and pee in the woods or shut up and wet your pants. Unfortunately for Alex, you're not complying with either of those options. You’re so uncomfortable; the pressure in your bladder is borderline unbearable.
“Dude, you're being really stupid right now,” Alex says, his back turned to you before he turns around, looking at the screen of his camera and periodically glancing up at you. “I mean, you seriously can’t be that against— did you just piss yourself?” Alex looks down to the very obvious. and, a decently large soaking wet spot in your pants. Your face is flushed a bright red as you look down to your pants, then moving your gaze down to stare aggressively at dead leaves. You’re completely over loaded with embarrassment, focusing on the nearest possible escape plan even though Alex had driven the both of you here. You hear Alex’s mildly sadistic cackling. What a supportive friend. “Dude! That’s really fucking embarrassing for you!” Alex nudges you a bit, taking time to catch his breath. “C’mon, look at me. That’s honestly really pathetic.” This is the part where you remember how much of a dick your friend is.
And even worse than the embarrassment is the way your body reacts to it.
You immediately cover your face with your hands, feeling the heat radiating off your bright red cheeks as Alex picks back up his howling laughter. “No, just— just shut the fuck up right now.”
“No way! You seriously got a boner over pissing yourself in front of me?”  Alex laughs harder, doubling over slightly as he does so. As Alex's cackling dies down, he collects himself and places his camera down on the tree stump. “Okay, okay we'll talk about that in a second, but don't you have a change of clothes in my car?” Alex speaks a little more genuine, but his voice stays laced with condescension. You shake your head in response to his question, cursing yourself for trying to save space in your bag.
Alex lets out a huff, pausing for a moment before clearing his throat. “Well, you probably don't wanna stay in those pants, y'know. It's gonna get cold soon and wet clothes are worse than none.” Alex tries to disguise his attempt at seeing you half naked and humiliated with half hearted concern. You saw what he was trying to do, but he was right. Any breeze that passed was absolutely freezing. So, with shaky hands(partially due to the cold, and partially due to your body radiating with embarrassment), and multiple thoughts telling you it was a bad idea to strip from the waist down in front of your friend, you unbutton your jeans and make very slow work of pulling them down. All the while, Alex is looking down at you with a strange amount of amusement on his face.
After a fair amount of time spent struggling to get your pants off over your shoes, you reluctantly look up at Alex. He takes a moment to adjust his gaze away from your crotch, only bringing more awareness to the fact you're sporting a hard-on in wet underwear. The look he gives you alone is enough to tell you to ditch those too, and so with a sigh, you do so. Now standing in the middle of the woods, half naked in front of one of your best friends, you begin to question just what led you here.
A train of thought that is, of course, quickly interrupted by Alex's horny gawking.
“You're really just on full display now, aren't you?” He takes a step closer, pushing up his glasses. He hooks an arm around your waist, pulling you way too close to him considering the situation. He's very liberal with his free hand as he continues to talk, ignoring how rigid your body gets at the sudden contact. “It's… not that big.” He takes the opportunity to grab your dick in his hand, only wrapping a few of his fingers around to further emphasize his point. The redness in your face deepens as you shudder. You'd look away if you hadn't already been aggressively avoiding looking at Alex the entire interaction.
Alex begins to move his hand, going all the way up your shaft and back down, moving devastatingly slow. He couldn't help but lean in to kiss you, and you would've pulled away, you really would've but, he was just so intense, it'd be a sin to pull away. Unless, of course, it was for Alex to talk more. “You're such a fucking loser you know that? Getting a boner all because you pissed yourself? Or was it ‘cause you pissed yourself in front of me?” Alex doesn't give you a chance to respond before he pulls you even closer and kisses you again. He speeds up his hand, sufficiently getting you to moan into the kiss, and he takes that chance to force his tongue into your mouth. Alex places a firm grip on the back of your neck, kissing you roughly as his other hand returns to the slow, steady pace he had set before. You throw your arms around Alex’s neck, getting weirdly into the situation you have yourself in. 
Alex only lasts a few minutes like that before he flips you around, pushing you against the closest tree and pulling your hips against his, forcing you to bend over. He reaches a hand around, shoving two of his fingers into your mouth. He presses down on your tongue, keeping his fingers in your mouth for a few more seconds before taking them out ever so slowly. He puts his free hand on your hip, fingertips digging harshly into the flesh. His other hand finds your entrance, wet fingers pressing into you, pulling an extended whine from your throat. You hear Alex undoing his belt as he works you open, followed by a long sigh as he removes his fingers from your hole and replaces them with the tip of his cock. Are you adequately prepped? Probably not, but at least he had the decency to try.
You aren’t sure how long Alex has been inside of you at this point, but his pace has become unbearably fast, and his thrusts are so hard they’re shaking the few remaining leaves off the dead tree he has you positioned against. Each moan you release is laced with quiver as you make an attempt to tell Alex how close you are, but he seems to catch on. He reaches a hand around to hook his fingers into your mouth, making it impossible for you to form any words at all as he growls.
Alex hissed, sucking in a long breath through his teeth as he bottoms out inside of you. He barely gives you any time at all to adjust as he starts rough right off the bat. The side of your face presses against the tree with every one of his thrusts, and there's drool dripping down your chin from both your inability to close your mouth properly at the moment, and because of just how good he feels inside of you.
“C’mon, you pissed all over yourself, right? You can cum all over yourself for me, too, right?” You do your best to nod, drooling all over Alex’s hand as you moan loud enough to surely be heard from any nearby trails. Alex’s hips start to stutter, too, a sign that he’s without a doubt close to filling you up. You still cum before him, of course. Your muscles spasm, your legs buckling and struggling hold you up. It only takes a few more thrusts for your dick to twitch, sending spurts of cum that hit both your stomach and the tree you're pressed against. 
It can’t be more than a minute before Alex’s fluidity turns jagged, filling you with his hot cum, rutting his hips into you as he does so. Once his movements completely stop your chest is heaving. He slips his fingers out of your mouth, panting as he wipes your spit onto your shirt. He leans into you, holding you up by your hips as you let your upper half relax into the tree that's been oh so graciously supporting you this whole time.
“I’m so glad you pissed yourself, dude.”
“Shut up,” you’d be more irritated if you could muster the energy for it, but all you can gather is an exasperated sigh.
“We really should do this again sometime,” Alex says, his voice still breathy as he kisses the top of your head.
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thecrypticshyguy · 1 year ago
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commission for a friend
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thecrumpler · 1 year ago
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Uni, and smaller uni
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Plus collage of the most offensive images known to man censored by a ton of filters
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tariah23 · 11 months ago
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Oh…. Well, it’s over for Crunchyroll I guess
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house-in-country · 5 months ago
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Decided to rewatch "Dragons: Race to the Edge", and this image has been haunting my mind ever since Hiccup refered to the dragon riders as "gang" for the first time.
Now shall it live in your heads rent free for the rest of eternity.
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chloesimaginationthings · 10 months ago
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FNAF Mikes and Vanessas talk about money struggles,,
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t4t4t · 5 months ago
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Hi !
I got bottom surgery on July 25th :3
I'm recovering well but I'll be on bedrest for a while. Collie and I will need rent help for September/food/gas/utilities/etc. Two disabled trans women. Anything helps ! Thank yall so much for all you've helped so far, it's saved my life ❤️
https://venmo.com/u/nora-esther-rose
https://www.paypal.me/NoraEstherRose
https://venmo.com/u/Leah-Esther-Rose
https://www.paypal.me/androgynophore
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fryologyy · 6 months ago
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falin taking a very large birdbath [speedpaint]
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cartoonsinthemorning · 7 months ago
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You idiot! clingy girls LOVE to get pushed around teased messed-up with manhandled bullied!! ESPECIALLY this one!!
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snootyfoxfashion · 1 year ago
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Pre Order - Over the Garden Wall Crewnecks and Cardigans from Knock Thrice
The pre-order is unlimited, you can get as many as you want and we will not sell out! It will run until August 14th  and limited overstock will be sold in the next month or two after preorders have shipped (December/January).
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fluffyartbl0g · 1 year ago
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PFTDGEHSJSJDYTE I CANT BELIEVE MONKEY D. LUFFY HAS TAKEN OVER TUMBLR!!!
At first sight I was like, oh cool! I see they’ve added a Luffy tab on my dashboard, because I love one piece. And then I look down the luffy tag,,, AND THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO JUST. DON’T KNOW WHO HE IS XD. That must mean THEY’VE JUST ADDED HIM TO EVERYONE’S DASHBOARDS WAHAHAHA!
First of all, it’s pronounced loo-fee. Second of all, he’s from hit series One Piece and you better not forget it!!!
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dawnbreakerluna · 5 months ago
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im utterly speechless like actually …
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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago
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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
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swan2swan · 7 months ago
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Until someone from the staff says otherwise, I will stake actual, genuine money that this was an exchange from the writer's room that made it into the show.
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maesonc-artistic-adventures · 4 months ago
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Based on Chapt 13 of @cutebutalsostabby ‘s fanfic “Big Oof 2022, aka Whumptober”
“‘You,’ Hyrule declared furiously, ‘are an absolute, complete dumbass.’
Lying prone on the ground with a deeply pissed-off mage looming above his head, it was rather difficult for Warriors to argue the point. He gave a weak thumbs up and croaked back, ‘Yep.’
Hyrule shook his head disbelievingly and announced, ‘You and Legend give me shit for this all the time, but you’re both equally as bad.’
Warriors nodded. ‘Very true,’ he rasped peaceably. ‘Be sure to learn from our bad examples.’”
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Hyrule and Warrior’s dynamic is so excellent and few do it as well as this fic!
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aimbutmiss · 1 year ago
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I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT THIS SEQUENCE Zoro looks so concerned
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