#i got my shit together gys

[activesplooger]

questionzz??

nosy anons let's go

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

[x0llaz]

Bro Code. Kim Gyuvin

chapter 6) ballin too hard

written + smau

Warnings: Ricky being a flirt, injury, stupidity.

Yn and her friends walk towards the gym, Anton has his camera ready for the shoot, and hanni was talking about how she was going to beat up whoever this guy was. Yn was just hoping her friends would behave like normal humans. 

As they approach, the sound of balls being dribbled and sneakers squeaking against the floor got louder. She turns to her friends again, asking for them to please be normal. Or nice. 

Hanni laughs and walks in first, peeking her head into the practice before fully walking in. Yn and Anton follow closely, stares being thrown their way as they proceed. Yn looks around for the tall boy she liked looking at, spotting him as he spots her. 

He stopped whatever drill he was doing, picking up his ball and holding it at his side, running over to greet them. 

“Yn!” He called happily, bouncing to a stop in front of her. 

The grin on his face was wide as he looked at her. He pushed his hair out of his face when she greeted him back. 

“Hey, are you staying the whole time?” He asks. He glances at the other two behind her, but doesn’t do much to strike up a conversation yet. 

“Oh, yeah, hanbin’s my ride,” she shrugs with a little smile. “And it seems like he doesn’t want chit chat right now,” she points to hanbin walking over. 

“Shit, yeah, see ya!” He runs over past hanbin like nothing happened. 

Hanbin approaches the three younger and welcomes them. He tells Anton he can set up in the corners of the fields for some of the pictures. Anton nods and walks away to get set up. 

“What were you and gyuvin talking about?” He asks and Yn rolls her eyes. 

“He was saying hi to us,” she tells him with a little smile. “Don’t worry, I met him like three days ago,” she whacks his arm. 

Hanbin laughs as he walks them over to their spot on the bleachers. 

For forty five minutes they watch the boys practice, speaking to each other about what the latest gossip is. When break rolled around, the players encouraged them to come talk to them. Particularly gunwook and Ricky. Gyuvin already planned to go talk to them (just Yn)

The two walk over and the guys introduce themselves. Everyone greeted them kindly, Matthew grinning at Yn, asking how she’d been. They chatted for a while, about school, sports, hanbin, whatever. All of them were nice. 

“Do you guys know Han yujin?” Gunwook asks and both girls nod. 

“He’s on student council,” Yn tells him, looking curious. 

“See I told you guys!” Gunwook grinned. “Yujin was friends with me Ricky and gyuvin in high school, he was our little freshman!” 

“Aw, that’s cute,” Yn smiled. 

“You’re cute,” Ricky said out of the blue and his teammates all looked at him like he was crazy. Gyuvin was near Yn, and was almost positive she could tell his shoulders tensed. 

“Thanks, Ricky,” Yn laughs a little. “You’re cute too,” she says kindly and hanbin calls break. They all disperse and Yn and Hanni go back to their spots on the bleachers. 

While the other guys are heading back to their spots, gyuvin follows Yn and Hanni quietly. He tugs on yn’s sleeve before she can sit down. She turns to look at him, eyebrows raised. 

“What’s up?” She asks, looking up at him. She’s always surprised by how tall he is. 

Gyuvin is conflicted- he’s jealous she called Ricky cute but can he really tell her that? Should he call her cute? Should he ask her out?

“You think Ricky’s cute?” He chose none of the above. 

Yn smiles a little. “Um, yeah he’s cute, I guess,” she bounces on the heels of her feet. “Why?”

“I don’t really know… I just…” he tries to piece together his thoughts. 

“Gyuvin!” Taerae shouts from across the court and Gyuvin decides fuck it. 

“I think you’re cute,” he tells her, eyes wide like a big puppy. 

“Gyuvin!” Zhanghao shouts too. 

Yn and Gyuvin just look at each other. 

“Can I get your-“ he starts quietly only to be cut off. 

“I think you’re cute too,” Yn interrupted him, looking up at him with a smile. 

Gyuvin grins. “Cool,” he forgot about asking for her number. 

“Gyuvin!” Hanbin shouts and Gyuvin finally starts heading to his spot. 

“See ya!” He grins as he runs back to his spot. 

Yn sits down with a big grin, leaning on Hanni while giggling to herself about what just happened. Hanbin would kill her. 

—

By the end of practice, the boys were just playing around, Hanni, Anton and Yn all off the bleachers and chatting around with the boys. 

Yn was talking with Gunwook, Ricky and Matthew, gunwook and Ricky being close in age to her with Matthew just being a longtime family friend. It’s a nice little conversation, even with Ricky flirting with her every now and then. 

Anton gets some action shots of the boys playing around, showing them to Yn near one of the hoops. He moves to another spot to get a panoramic view of everyone, Yn still in the same spot. 

Gyuvin decides now is a good time to show off. He and Ricky pass the ball a couple times, dribbling their ways down court. Ricky first tries to make a shot but fails. Gyuvin makes a swift recovery and makes the rebound. The two boys continue shooting until Gyuvin tries hitting off the backboard. 

Unfortunately for him, his aim was off when he threw it and it went flying off the board. 

Unfortunately for Yn, it was flying right towards her. There was a loud “watch out!” From Anton across the court before it hit her square in the head. 

Ricky and gyuvin stopped immediately, hurrying over as the girl fell back in pain. Hanni was already at her side when they got there, gyuvin kneeling next to her as she cried, holding the spot on her head. 

“Shit! Yn I’m sorry-“ Gyuvin said, brushing her hair back as hanni and Ricky hollered for hanbin, who came running over. 

“What happened?” Hanbin asks, crouching down. 

“Stray ball hit her,” hanni said, not mentioning it was gyuvin. “Can you get her some ice?” She asks and hanbin runs off to go get ice. 

“Gyuvin, help her up,” Matthew instructs, which Gyuvin does, lifting her gently and helping her to the bleachers. He sits next to her while Hanni kneels in front of her, wiping her tears. 

He’d never felt so bad. 

masterlist. Previous. Next.

taglist: @shanb1n @hyehae

[tinydeskwriter]

The 7 B’s- Part I

Warnings: Pregnancy (that’s the only thing I can think about at the moment, maybe fluffly? by the end?)

A/n: This was a request, a Jack xEm’s Daughter, I didn’t feel comfortable using his actual daughters, so I created a ‘Y/n’ born in 1999, I love Eminem, I think he’s the greatest, I’am looking forward to see where this is going.

The 7 B’s- Part I

Books Before Boys Because Boys Bring Babies. Was her father saying for her and her sisters growing up.

Jesus Roosevelt Christ. Daddy is going to blow a casket. It was the only thing she could think of looking the five tests on top of her bathroom sink as if with the manifestation of her will the result would change.

Shit.

The only time she did something the least bit impulsive, and that happened. It could only be karma. It was the only answer.

How would she raise a baby? What about her career? She had two companies, insane hours, always traveling. How would a kid, a newborn at that, fit into that routine?

Y/n hadn't even stopped to think about the baby's father. It had been a one-night stand, she wasn’t proud to admit it —her dad would kill her—. An extremely handsome and confident tall, blue eyed, curly haired guy she had met at a party — Drake’s 35th birthday party—, attraction and horniness took part, she made the walk of shame early the next morning—a bogus excuse about a early meeting— she got his phone number and never called back.

And now she was carrying his baby.

Out of curiosity she had goggled him after their night of indiscretion—sue her—, he was a promise of hip-hop���Drake’s heir apparent, he was been called— an extremely attractive young man, with smooth, sleek sound, and cult-like following of obsessed girls. He was charismatic—she would admit to having watched one or two interviews with him, it was impossible not to be drawn to his magnetism— and endearingly confident—that’s how she ended up with five positive tests, damn those eyes—.

Jesus, she was pregnant with a rapper's baby. Her father was going to go Godzilla her.

She needed to tell her team. Text her sisters and beg for secrecy. Put on her big girl pants and talk to Jack. And getting her parents together to share the news—she could avoid telling her parents as much as possible, but she knew it would be worse—. She needed to make an appointment with an obstetrician. And maybe even start looking at the things she would need for the baby. She started making the mental list

Maybe not in that order.

{I need you to make an appointment with an OB/GY ASAP!!!}

{please}

{thank u}

Y/n sent it to Liv, her personal assistant.

Scrolling through her contacts, the young woman found the next person she needed to talk to.

{Hey Jack, it's Y/n}

{From Drake's party…}

{I'll be in Atlanta next week}

{Can we see each other?}

It wasn't exactly a lie, she'd be in the Atlanta area on business…okay, she was going to Tennessee to inspect the new addition to her company's product portfolio, but Tennessee and Georgia are neighboring states.

It didn't take long for her to receive an answer from him. She didn't know if that said more about Jack's anticipation of a booty call or the inefficiency of her private assistant to answer her texts.

{Hey Little Miss Shady!It took you long enough to use my number}

Drake sure had a big mouth.

{Sure}

{Send me the details}

She hoped he would maintain his enthusiasm after she broke the news.

——#——

“Okay,” he said.

Not exactly the greatest response to I’m pregnant.

Usually he was a bit smoother, but he had been taken by surprise.

This wasn’t exactly where he’d thought the night was going to go.

She’d texted him a week before that day telling him she would be in town and asking if they could see each other, and when he’d suggested drinks at a new cocktail bar she’d replied with Can you come to my hotel?

He should have known that she hadn’t texting for that. After all, he hadn’t heard from her in three months, not since he’d woken up to find her dressing for meeting. He’d asked for her number and she’d responded by asking for his. He’d given it, she was cool, if not a little mean, and the sex was fantastic—the best of his twenty three years of life—.

He wasn’t used to girls not texting or calling—it was usually the other way around—, so he hadn’t realized until he’d told the guys about her that it had been a blow-off —Drake even commented that he liked to live dangerously, and that's how Jack found out Y/n was the youngest daughter of none other than Eminem—. She was her dad's hype-man when he performed at the Oscars, it was all over the news man, how come you didn't recognize her?

When she’d texted earlier it should have been set of alarm bells in his head that something was up, but it hadn’t. She made him a little stupid. Which was a cause for concern.

“Right,” Y/n said, when it became clear he was incapable of saying anything else, if anything, he looked a little bit in shock, “So… Just to be clear I’m going to keep it, the baby I mean, and um, I’m not… you don’t have to do anything, I just wanted you to know that you’d be a father.”

“Are you sure?” He asked.

She nodded, brushing her fingers through her pretty hair as though this was a perfectly normal conversation, “Definitely. Money isn’t a problem, I’ll need a nanny or two anyway so, yeah I mean if you want to just…pretend like we didn’t have this conversation then that’s fine.”

“No,” He shook his head, “I mean, are you sure you’re pregnant and that…I’m the father?”

Her cheeks went a little red, “Yes, trust me I would not have put either of us through this conversation if I hadn’t already had a doctor confirm it. And as for you being the father…Fuck you a little, I'm not one of your desperate groupies.” She ran her hand through her hair again and took a deep breath. “We can do a DNA test after the baby is born, but you were the first and only guy I slept with since my ex.” Y/n shrugged.

“I’m really acing this conversation, huh?,” he asked running his hand through his curls nervously.

To his surprise she smiled, it made her look younger. Not that she was old, only twenty-two, but when she smiled she looked like a kid herself, all dimples and crinkled blue eyes.

It was the first thing he’d noticed about her.

“I don’t think there’s really a right way of reacting to it,” she shrugged, “And if there is, I haven’t found it.”

He couldn’t help but grin at that. He’d liked that about her from the start, she didn’t put on a front. She was guarded, surely, but she didn’t try to make you think more of her.

“I’ve got a lot to think about, millions of things really, but being a Dad… the decision to be one, I mean, isn’t one of them. I’m in. I’m all in.” He caught the whisper of her smile. That smile was so much more powerful than he’d given it credit for.

Now he had to inform his parents that he had gotten a girl pregnant.

Girl.

Parents.

Shit, he just hoped he wouldn't be the target of a diss track in the future. Look at MGK's rap career, and he just called the guy's daughter 'hot'.

[bts-hyperfixation]

Play time - kinktober day 8

OT7 - o r gy

Smut 18+

Contains member on member and anaI

The boys hadn’t been back in the dorm five seconds before they started looking for you. You’d decided to stay in the dorm while they were away, so you still felt close to them. Yoongi had texted you as soon as they landed with an ETA and the promise of presents. Your heart fluttered at the thought of seeing your boys again, but it didn’t stop your mischievous side from immediately searching for a hiding place. You were never one to make things too easy for them.

You found a small hideaway at the back of Jungkook’s closet and pulled a box in front of the entrance to obscure you further. When you heard the door open you sent the first hint to the group chat.

Y/N: I’m hidden somewhere cosy (emoji) the first one to find me can have me all night.

JK: Anymore hints for finding you?

KTH: or do you just want us to tear the whole place apart… because I will

Y/N: See what you can find and maybe I’ll send more if I get bored

You put your phone down and listen for the boys’ whereabouts. Knowing them, they’ve probably already split up, there are no friends in competition. You hear someone enter Jungkook’s bedroom, so you squish yourself closer to the wall. You can just about make out the maknae’s profile through the small gap you’d left. He places his bag on the bed and glances around the room. For someone with so much talent, he really is terrible at treasure hunts. After he leaves, you send another hint.

Y/N: You guys have a great laundry detergent, smells so fresh

KSJ: Laundry room?

MYG: Maybe? I don’t know where there would be a hiding place in there though.

The search continued, and you sat for another 10 minutes, getting a little bored with the game.

Y/N: (Bunny emoji)

PJM: ARE YOU IN JK’S ROOM???

KNJ: HE TOLD US HE CHECKED THERE

JK: I did…

It’s not long before you hear seven pairs of footsteps heading towards the room. There is a small commotion as each of the tries to enter the room first.

“It’s my room” Jungkook whines as his hyungs push him out of the way.

“You lost your chance when you came in here the first time” Yoongi countered

“Move I should get to go first… I’m the oldest” by the sound of his voice, Jin had puffed himself up ready to take on anyone that disrespected him… of course this led to laughing from the other members. He may be the eldest, but he is by far the least threatening. You can’t help giggling at the conversation. They hear the sound and stop arguing immediately, heads snapping in the direction of the closet. You held your breath hoping they would go back to arguing, you may be getting a little bored, but you really hated to lose. No such luck. The boys made their way into the room, suddenly becoming one cohesive group again. Namjoon is the one to remove the makeshift box door you had pulled in front of your hidey hole.

Being met by his amazing dimples did help soothe the burn of making such a silly mistake and letting yourself be revealed. He offered you his hand and helped you out of the hiding spot before pulling you into the tightest hug he could manage. Soon you were smothered by all the boys, struggling to breath, but also struggling to care as you relaxed into their touch. This world tour had been their longest yet. After a short while they released you and you took in their appearances. Longer hair and tired eyes, but still very much as handsome as when they left.

“So does Namjoon get me? Technically he did find me” you tease walking your fingers up the leader’s chest. The boys around you letting out incredulous groans.

“That’s not fair, we all found you together, he just moved the box!” Jimin whined wrapping his arms around your waist, his way of protesting your advances on his hyung.

“Well then what do you suggest? Want to share?” each of the boys looked at each other in turn and nodded. They often shared you between them, after all they loved each other just as much, but it was very rare for all seven to be with you at the same time. They liked to make sure you were always comfortable. Right now though, all any of you wanted was to feel each other’s skin.

Jimin’s hands move to the hem of your shirt, playing with the fabric and exposing a slither of your stomach to the other boys. Hoseok is on his knees in front of you instantly, licking a line across your newly exposed skin. His fingers hook around your belt loops and he shuffles your jeans down your legs, just as Jimin pulls you shirt over your head. The remaining five watch you closely. Their eyes graze up your body taking in the new lingerie you’d bought for their return. The cute bralette and bikini set did wonders for you. Jimin’s hands find their way to your covered breasts, rubbing your nipples through the sheer fabric making you lean back into his chest and let out a sigh of pleasure. Hoseok, never one to be outdone, takes this opportunity to sharply bite into the flesh of your thigh.

Clearly the sight had been too much for some of the boys. Taehyung and Namjoon were together in a similarly compromising position, Tae’s sweats around his ankles as Joonie rubbed at the younger boy’s member through his boxers. You let yourself focus on the two of them. The sight has you so aroused, you can feel your core dripping already. Hoseok chooses this moment to run a finger along the middle of your panties.

“So wet already?” Hoseok taunts “Did you really miss us that much?” you fidget at the sensation and nod sheepishly, all eyes on you suddenly making you shy. Hoseok chuckles a little then goes back to running his tongue along your thighs, teasing you softly. Every time he got close to your underwear he would pull away and start a similar trail up your other leg.

“Fuck this” Jungkook’s curse is the only warning you get before you are thrown over his shoulder and carried out into the main part of his bedroom. He carefully lays you down on the mattress before climbing on top of you. His lips meet yours in a passionate kiss, months of pent up need and want manifesting in this one action. It doesn’t take long until the two of you are broken apart by a slightly disgruntled Yoongi. the older member reprimands the maknae for taking you away. You giggle as he helps JK strip and decides on his punishment. Of course, the youngest is all too eager to please, he drops to his knees mouth wide and ready to be abused. Yoongi unbuckles his pants and places his dick on Jungkook’s waiting tongue. Without hesitation Jungkook deep throats his hyung. The usually stoic rapper lets out a scandalous wail.

In the meantime, Jin has made his way to you, sitting up on the pillows. He pulls you so you are sat between his legs and signals for you to remove your panties. You oblige and throw the offending article on to the floor. His long fingers trail down your sides and find their way to your clit, he rubs the sensitive nub in lazy circles as the two of you watch Jungkook’s punishment, although from this angle it definitely looks like more of a treat. The sensation made you wriggle, causing pleasure but not enough to help you get anywhere.

“What’s wrong baby?” Jin’s lips graze your ears as he speaks. You whine a little in response hoping he would get the message. “Words babygirl… I need your words” you take a deep breath before you speak

“I need you to move faster” You had never been good at vocalising what you wanted from a lover. A fatal flaw really, it had often left you unsatisfied before you found the band. Instantly his fingers build speed. Figures of 8 drawn in your most sensitive area, the exhilaration almost proving too much for you. If that hadn’t been enough what came next certainly helped. Your eyes were scrunched closed trying to focus on the feeling Jin was giving you, when his expert fingers were joined by an equally talented tongue. You opened one eye and found Taehyung staring back up at you. His deep brown eyes filled with desire as he lapped up the juices that had been flowing freely onto the sheets below you. You’re orgasm hit quickly with the new addition. Both boys continuing until they were sure you had come back down, the stimulation almost proving too much as you whimpered. Taehyung kissed his way up your body. You expected him to finish his trail with your lips but instead he aims around you to access Jin. You’re left sandwiched between the two men as they shared the taste of you in a deep kiss.

You glance passed them to watch the show Jungkook and Yoongi were still giving. The sight calls to you and you crawl out from under Taehyung. Positioning yourself behind the elder, you take the opportunity to part his cheeks and run your tongue along his entrance. The action shocks him, forcing him to lose the control he had. Hot cum shoots down JK's unsuspecting throat. The black haired boy chokes at the unexpected sensation but does his best to swallow what he is given. Yoongi pets his head, praising him, before turning to glare at you. A sheepish grin spreads across your face as you shrug innocently at him.

Unfortunately, the domineering rapper doesn’t fall for your feigned innocence. Instead, pulling you up from your knees and grabbing your hair at the nape of your neck.

“That wasn’t nice y/n, poor Kookie could’ve gotten hurt.” His face is millimetres from yours. You can feel his lips graze against yours as he speaks

“I'm sorry” your eyes are on the ground, an effort to suppress the shit-eating grin fighting it’s way on to your face. The pale boy uses his leverage to force you back on to the bed. You find yourself lying with your head on Namjoon’s toned thigh, your mouth now in the perfect place to lick at his hardened member. You stick out your tongue and try to lick at the tantalising treat that had been placed in front of you. Just before you can wrap your mouth around it, Joon pulls it from your reach.

“I believe you’re in trouble baby... Naughty girls dont get what they want” Joon’s eyes are filled with mischievous malice. You were too busy having a staring contest with the leader to notice the punishment Yoongi was preparing for you. That is until the chilly sensation of lube makes an appearance in between your butt cheeks. Suga laughs as you jump in surprise, coating his finger in the liquid before pressing his way into your back entrance. You squeak at the intrusion and the tag-teaming rapline just laugh. Namjoon takes this opportunity to let his dick fall back within your reach and You lap at it hungrily. Just when you get used to the stretch of one finger Yoongi adds one more, prepping you, he repeats this process until he decides you've had enough foreplay. He summons Jungkook to take his places, first rubbing a generous amount of lube on his lovers cock. Jungkook lines himself up and pushes deep inside your ass. You groan around Namjoon’s dick making him quiver at the added pleasure.

Jk waits until he feels you relax to start moving, placing your legs over his shoulders to gain better access. Neither boy was able to last very long due to the pent up energy they had left over from tour. Namjoon came first, coming all over your face. There’s nothing that boy likes more than to see you wearing him. Jungkook sees his hyung's seed dripping from your chin as he opened his previously squeezed eyes. It is enough to send him over his edge. He pulls out of you and aims his cum to mix in the same place. The maknae would take any excuse he could to see you covered in multiple members cum.

Jimin took this opportunity to crawl on the bed next to you, running his tongue through the puddle on the side of your face. He hungrily lapped the remains of the cum from your face before kissing you deeply dragging you away from Namjoon in the process. The middle member let out a whine in protest until Jungkook filled the newly vacated space idly tracing patterns on Joon's stomach as they both recovered from their highs. The two were notoriously needy after their orgasms.

Jimin moved you so you were straddling him, his hard tip pressed into your opening, waiting. Waiting for you to lower yourself down into his lap properly. You take an agonizingly long time to slide down his full length, letting out a long moan as you did so. You slowly bounce yourself up and down, winding him up, wondering how long it would take for him to flip you over and take you as hard and fast as he could. The man was not known for his sexual patience.

Just as you thought, the smaller man can’t wait long before you are manoeuvred on to your hands and knees. Your met with the sight of Hobi's dick stood to full attention in front of you. Clear that the two mean to take you together you open your mouth ready and willing. The two thrust in tandem, in, out, in, out. The speed increasing gradually as both chase their orgasms. You find yourself also nearing your second finish just as a new pair of hands find their way to your clit. Taehyung appears from underneath you rubbing at your clit fiercely, to a point where it’s almost painful. Almost. Your second orgasm causes both your pussy and throat to spasm, finishing both men off in one quick motion. The seven of you are panting and sweaty, collapsed in cuddly heaps on the large bed.

“So how was tour? You ask after catching your breath

Kinktober

Masterlist

Please let me know what you think or if you have any requests for the last 6 fics here

[bishy437]

ok fine i’ll write a dissertation on why sangcheng is a great ship and deserves to win just as much as chengyao.

sadly i’m not eloquent nor am i a wordsmith like all these other chengyao-ologists but here goes something

*ahem*

these two idiots are completely different people and yet Still manage to have so much in common it makes me want to chew my own face

CR era they are just two teenage sect heirs. one striving for greatness. the other completely disinterested in the cultivation world.

neither of them will ever live up to their parents'/guardian's expectations. ever.

they have no shared hobbies/interests and zero reason to even acknowledge one another other than political ones but thanks to wwx they are now in the same friend group

they get into shenanigans they get drunk and read porn together they do stupid teenager shit. ((nhs potentially being jc’s gateway into porn is hilarious btw))

anyways they had a grand ol’ time until wwx punched some guy and got kicked out so we don’t know what happened with them after that

lots of directions you can go with it but it Will end with them estranged

fast forward to wwx + nmj kicking the bucket.

They have now both experienced utter betrayal by someone they loved dearly and trusted. they lost their entire families. they've been pushed into roles of leadership way too early and they dont know what the hell they're doing but they have to do it.

are they on friendly terms post res? does jc wonder what happened to the friend he made in gusu to make him this way? how did the kid who managed to sneak contraband into the jianghu equivalent of Juvie become so useless/clueless????

whatever. Jc has bigger things to worry about. Like dragging wwx back to LP.

and he fails. miserably.

but guess what. JC still got his ‘brother’ back. he got to talk to him again. it wasnt like old times, but wwx is There. they’re not bros anymore and may never be again but at least wwx’s *alive*

he got his closure, he got his sorry.

but Dage’s still fucking dead. even after GY temple hes dead and mindless and never coming back.

Can you not see the Potential in that? can you look me in the eyes and tell me that nhs wouldn’t secretly harbor resentment towards jc?

like 'you got what i wanted. you got what i needed. i did all these horrible things and maybe it wasn't even worth it'

these men spent their entire adult lives working towards revenge/their brother (almost brother ykwim) and have nothing to show for it other than terrible reputations that precede them.

and what the hell do they do post GY temple without their anger to fuel them?

theyre not divorced, theyre the only two people standing in an empty room together fighting the urge to scream bloody murder as the walls close in on them.

they're tired they're confused they're devastated

jc: im tired of being angry and nhs: i dont want to be alone anymore CAN YOU NOT SEE???? THE POTENTIAL

these men understand each other like no one else and at the same time they Don't. they will never get each other's methods or mindsets.

who even are you anymore? who even am I? can you fix me? can you make the pain go away? get away from me. share a drink with me.

also. GY temple ends without Jc finding out the truth about what nhs did. Huaisang could easily take that secret to his grave if he so wanted. but if jc finds out via wwx then guess what. DIVORCE.

Now theyre divorced.

maybe jc will try to kill nhs for what he did and maybe nhs will let him.

so no, sangcheng is not a 'pair the spares' nor is it a simple 'uwu pure tender childhood fwends romance' it is So much more it is FUCKED

they're Doomed they're Saved they're headless chickens they hate each other they love each other do you Get it

there's so much more i could try to speak on but im not an adept writer and i cant articulate things well! but I will go down with this ship figuratively and literally.

and yeah maybe sangcheng nation doesnt portray enough angsty content in our fanworks for nonbelievers to respect us but who cares that doesnt mean im not constantly thinking about jc taking psychological damage battling his own mind on whether he wants to kill huaisang or fuck his brains out 24/7

enyways thanks for coming to my ted talk vote sangcheng bc they are just as spicy and deserving to win as chengyao! ^v^

Tournament of Jiang Cheng's Lovers

Semifinal, Bracket 2

Link to bracket

[touchmycoat]

cnovel!anon: I'm really enjoying一級律師 - I love the way GY and YSZ banter. It isn't gratuitous (some YA novels I read, I feel like they are trying too hard to be Buffy - lots of snappy dialogue jammed in for the purpose of having witty lines, without regard to making it feel realistic) but fits in well with their characters. I laughed at the way GY said he needed mint and ice before listening to YSZ to 降火, or YSZ teasing GY when (GY's knowledge of) his identity was revealed. (cont'd)

(2/3): the humor feels unforced. And I love Priest's novels (very plotty/ detailed worldbuilding), but I don't think she writes with that same gleeful spark of humor, so I understand your mother's point. I love both types of writing, just depends on my mood. 一級律師 is such a fun read so far - YSZ's pov is particularly hilarious (將進酒 starts out angsty - I'll go back to it when I'm ready for it) though I'm just starting to get into the parts with more about his backstory and bracing for knives.

3/3 You mentioned that they get together really early - I usually love the slow burn first time/getting together stories, especially the tantalizing UST, but I just got to ch 125 and cried at 有那麼一瞬間，他闔了一下眼睛,覺得自己好像又回到了二十多年前，還住在那幢舊居裡,日子慢悠悠地過著，他懶洋洋地靠在窗檯上，一邊畫著速寫，一邊半真不假地對屋裡的人說：「前兩天碰到一點麻煩事……」很奇怪，在這一瞬間的想像裡，屋裡聽他抱怨的是顧晏。So for all of my love for yearning and and (mutual) pining, having GY able give him love and support as his boyfriend at this time was lovely.

--

FAMMMMMMM I'm nearing the end and last night I think it was ch198ish—that shit had me sobbing in bed. No spoilers but I was thinking about the world view this novel's plot invites...I kind of really love it. I'm curious to know what you think once you've finished heheheh.

Holy shit agreed MSL writes such good banter. Like, her 懟人 dialogue is shady. Yeah yeah yeah I know exactly what you mean by dialogue trying to be like Buffy. Writing clever cunty people is hard lmfao, and MSL is ridiculously good at it??? I mean I haven't finished reading QQGK but them, and Panguan for sure, and now 燕大律師. Also hello the fact that they're both so cool to the world but so warm to each other really adds a fantastic layer of spice to all their banter doesn't it? That mint shit. And when YSZ gets possessive?? Delicious.

YEAH CH125. I was wary and I'll be honest, I did put the book down at one point, but now I've powered through that brief hiatus I honestly don't hate that they got together that early. The pacing of the relationship in context of where she wanted the novel to go makes sense. YSZ FINDING LOVE AND SUPPORT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS ALONE IT FUCKS ME UP UP UP UP UP and it also gives me new feelings about Xie Wen hahaha. There were a few lines in 一級律師 about YSZ walking alone for 10+ years that were super reminiscent of 判官, and I was vibing so hard.

oh okay the YSZ/GY storyline is delicious and lovely, but also the 喬/柯謹 story?!?!?! I was lying in bed punching my chest 'cause that shit hurt so bad. The devotion baby!!!!! I love that young master hahaha, he's a fucking homie.

It's interesting 'cause my coworker who was very shrug about the novel remarked that it wasn't actually about lawyers, but I find myself disagreeing very hard. MSL never once slips too gratuitously into action (imo); the stakes and pacing are all very much centered on case-building. In fact I think I found her dedication to it so impressive that even though I do objectively find this subgenre to be more boring than, say, Panguan and QQGK, I still want to keep reading because her characters frame the story in such a specific way, does that make sense??

Anyways, I'm on the final case and once I finish, I think I'll start on.....something else!! I have 將進酒 and 殺破狼 open but I might fucking go and finish QQGK first????

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: Caught with my zipper down!

Date video was published: 04/15/2012 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 124

Phil’s video talking about Playlist Live (among other things)! Hi first vlog-gy video in a while; he had been doing Q&As more often.

0:05 - imagine the length of montage that could be made now, lol

0:22 - this is the shortest his hair has been!

0:26 - he did ask on Twitter for hair ideas...I don’t think he got helpful answers, lol

0:30 - okay, I love the hairdressers very dry “I said no” 😂

0:40 - I’m so pleased the person he was most happy to see was Jenna Marble. Especially because some of Phil’s more recent content reminds me a bit of hers.

0:47 - “me & Dan” people got on Dan so much for this but Phil does it just as often if not more!

0:49 - this was their first big thing on stage...they had no idea how much they would be on stage in the future 🥺

0:58 - 😂😂 this is the most Phil thing to do. Also, I love Martyn teasing him about it on Twitter too.

1:20 - 😕 yikes he and Dan both had computers break on that trip. Also, suspicious

1:37 - talking about his prediction from The Hunger Games (and gay shoe marriage)...not sure if accurate

1:53 - Phil’s about to go on a family holiday to Florida at the end of April

1:58 - seeing The Cabin in the Woods! I agree that is an amazing movie. (Also, Phil shot some DITL-style stuff the day he got his haircut and saw this, and uploaded it to his second channel about a month later.)

2:05 - lol at Phil’s annotation about getting tagged in a different video but doing this instead. Phil does what Phil wants!

2:25 - Phil’s drawing skills are something. Cute though!

2:34 - he has no idea, haha

3:17 - random Dan appearance!

3:19 - Dan is such a little shit sometimes, lol. Phil somehow just looks mostly fond though.

3:45 - that is fairly close

3:55 - love that they’re also looking together at the drawings Phil did 

4:02 - this whole 10-second clip from “get out of my video” to Phil laying and looking so bored to on the bed to “go away” and the giggles is so cute and also like peak comedy 😂

4:34 - that is a lot of back-and-forth to the US in just a month

4:39 - the lion end screens are back pretty regularly!

This is a cute Phil video!

[charlie-pop2]

im not sure if i mentioned it before but I have recently finished the GX dub and I have many questions and feelings that I want to address,,

Big spoilers for s3 of gx

I should assume everyone has seen it by now but like I didn't so, 🤷‍♂️

First of all: IM SUPPOSED TO THINK JADEN JUST,, DIES? AND DOESN’T COME BACK??? what is this ABSOLUTE BULLCRAP. they could have at the very least dubbed the actual last episode of the season and give me an ending that doesn’t leave me in tears.

SECOND: So jesse like gives jaden the crystal beasts yea??? (i think that’s what happened, maybe it was just rainbow dragon..) and like he takes them and duels yubel but jaden doesn’t go back to DAI so,,, the crystal beasts are gone too??? WHY doesn’t anybody write fanfics about THAT. there is so much angst potential right there that was just completely set asside by the entire fandom?

Third: earlier in season 3 when jaden duels viper on that giant pillar thing right? He discards 2 cards to the GY for some reason and I couldn’t help but notice,,, He discarded Ojama yellow?? Why does jaden have ojama yellow? Does it belong to chazz? Why was it shown but not important later (I'm way to lazy to go through the sub and see if it was just an animation error)

Fourth: what's up with all this "yeah jaden has cards that belong to other people but they still listen to him" shit???? what happened to heart of the cards?? And like,, beginning of s4 RYO's deck doesn't respond to sho like at all untill he like mixes it with his own. (I'm probably way wrong about this whole point but wheverr)

Fifth: shit dude, watching everyone get "sent to the stars, never to be seen again" was actually really hard to watch.. I had developed such a good relationship with all of these charas and watching them die like that made me cry like a lil bitch. Except for Adrien, FUCK HIM OH MY GOD.

6. ADRIEN GECKO CAN SUCK MY DICK!!! Asshole goes off and uses echo who obviously cares about him a lot just so he can use exodia (stupid) and then get himself killed by yubel anyway! I'd be pissed if my man did that shit and didn't even do what he wanted to do. I was happiest when he died.

SEVHUN: oh my lord the supreme king,, can get it??? (IM JOKING AKSHXICN )

Eitht: no fr though watching jaden go crazy (aaaa go stupid ) was so satisfying!! Yes sir please kill this man who sent your friends to the stars. Become a vengeful bitch! Kill everyone! You go sis!!

Nien: giving yubel a second boob... stupid 4kids... putting that stupid ass overlay whenever yubel and jesse talked was stupid... I really wish they did what the sub did and just, left jesse's voice the same. (Maybe a little deeper or smthin🤤 OKAY SORRY IM JOKING AHAIN) but like I feel like it fucked with my head more when I couldn't tell what words were just yubels thoughts.

Tenth: jim.. and his eye.. the fact that Jim aND Sherlley got sent to the stars together ment so much to me. Idk if I was confused or happy that they got to leave together but.. I cried again

I think that's all folks god

This stupid little card game anime was dark as hell 😵

[specialmindz]

“huh?”

“Hey Snas, how you spell yo’ name? Is with an S or a Z?”

“what are you talking about?”

“Is S-N-A-S or S-N-A-Z? It sound like da’ latter, but I’s a baby, so I don’t spell good.”

“what exactly are you putting my name on?” asked Sans, eyeing the piece of paper in his brother’s hand.

“Is a flyer.”

“what’s on the flyer?”

“Letters.”

“bro-”

“Letters and a picture of you that I taked. Lookin’ fine in dat lab coat big Buther...”

“seriously pap, what are you putting my name on?”

“Is a job wanted flyer! I knows you doesn’t like working for Daddy for no monies, so I’m gonna get you a new one!”

Sans took the paper from his brother and began to read it out loud. “big-ass baby looking for work. cute butt, cute head, cute everything. has experience in being daddy’s slave-bro you’re not posting this.”

“Why not?!”

“many reasons.”

“You like being Daddy’s slave?”

“no, but if we’re starting with the obvious, this picture is inappropriate.”

“It’s yo’ butt!”

“i can see that-”

“I took the picture so they knows I’s not lying. There be a picture of your head and your feets underneath like a flippybook-”

“what is it with you and butts lately papyrus? you keep bringing them up and it’s weird!”

“Pooburty.”

“babies don’t go through puberty.”

“Oh.”

“...”

“...”

“...I needs a doctor big Buther...”

Sans ignored him and continued to read the book he was holding, crumbling the paper Papyrus had made into a ball and shoving it into his coat pocket. He had hoped the act would make his brother get the message and go away, but the baby didn’t seem to care that his hard work had been destroyed. Instead, Papyrus merely pulled out another sheet and began to scribble on it with a pen.

“Okay, how’s dis? Big-ass baby looking for work, lossa experience being Daddy’s slave. No butt stuff.”

“papyrus, no. i appreciate what you’re trying to do, but no. it sucks that i don’t get paid, but i enjoy my job, so it’s fine.”

“*Tch* Lazybones! Work not supposed to be fun!” Grumbling, the infant angrily scribbled out what he wrote and started again. “Kay’...big-ass baby looking for fun. Lossa experience being Daddy’s slave, but still needs to be punished. He’s been real bad-”

“what?”

“He’s use to abuse and likes to abuse others-”

“i’m abusive? i’m abusive because i don’t want another job?”

“He be very obee-di-ant and likes to act like animals when he play. He go ‘WOOF WOOF! ARRROOOOO!”

“gimme that freaking paper.”

“Dis be Snas’s number, call if you gots any kestions or weequests.”

“don’t put down my number.”

“No number...? Kay’, I go change it to yo’ email.”

Sans paused. “’go?’ what do you mean ‘go?’ where are you go-ING?”

“Undernet.”

“the undernet?”

“Yep!”

“you put my cell number on the undernet?”

“I putted the job thingy and yo’ cell number. Now I gots to copy dis stuff and then post da’ flyers so ERYBODY knows about you. ”

“...”

“Also I didn’t know how to spell Snas, so I put Sans kay’?”

Sans’ sockets went dark.

RING RING!

“LOOK SNAS! An employer...”

RING RING RING!”

“Isn’t you gonna answer your phone big Buther? They might has a fun job for you...”

RING RING RING!

Looking at his pocket warily, the comedian reached inside and took out his phone, looking at the number.

“*sigh*”

It’s just Dad.

“hello? hey dad, sup?”

“You know what’s ‘sup’ child...”

“nooo, can’t say that i do actually. you realize i’m in the next room right? you can just come talk to me.”

“Well yes, I suppose I COULD do that, but there’s a slight problem.”

“you’re busy?”

“I’M DETAINED!”

Sans pulled the receiver away from his head. “what?”

“SOMEONE FOUND YOUR POST ON THE UNDERNET AND NOW I’M BEING QUESTIONED BY THE ROYAL GUARD!”

“wh-heh heh ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

“IT’S NOT FUNNY SANS, THEY THINK I’M SELLING MY CHILDREN! WHY WOULD YOU PUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON THE WEB?”

“did you actually read the post or...?”

“OF COURSE NO-it was your brother wasn’t it?”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!”

“Put that little shit on the phone.”

“alrighty,” turning around, Sans held out his cell phone to his little brother who grabbed it with both hands.

“Hellwoe? What you want?”

“TAKE THAT POST DOWN RIGHT NOW PAPYRUS!”

“Nyeh? Papyrus? I’s not Papyrus, dis be da’ pizza shop...”

“PAPYRUS!”

“We gots da’ cheesy pizza, da’ peppy-roni pizza, and we gots pizza with widdle fishies on them. They look like dis,” Papyrus widened his eyes and opened his mouth, imitating a dead anchovy.

“heh heh heh...”

“You want dat pizza? Is good...”

“I WANT YOU TO TAKE DOWN THAT POST!”

“What post?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT POST!”

“No I doesn’t. Look sir, if you doesn’t want a pizza, don’t call here kay’? Cause’ dis be the pizza pace.”

BEEP!

Papyrus hung up.

“I think he bought it big Buther...”

“...why?”

BE-CUN!

“PAPYRUS GET THAT GODDAMN POST OFF THE UNDERNET!!!” screamed Gaster from the intercom.

“uh. oh! heh heh heh!”

“Uh oh Snas!”

“what are you gonna do bro?”

“There’s only one thing to do,” said the baby bones reaching into his toy chest. “I gots to run away.” He pulled out a little plastic Mickey Mouse purse he had found at the Dump and began stuffing it with crayons.

“you’re gonna run away...?”

“Yep, but don’t worry Snas, though fate tears us apart dis day, I’s certain we shall meet again!”

“heh heh ha ha ha! where you gonna go bro? you gonna go live with flowey?”

He’s been gone an awful long time...maybe he’s really NOT coming back...

“No, baby already tried that,” said Papyrus thinking back to last week.

“NO. No no no no, you get the HELL out of here-”

“Hellwoe Dirt-butt! I’s come to visit you! Nyeh heh heh!”

“Did you not hear me? GT...FO.”

“Why you staring at da’ ground Dirt-butt? Didja lose something?”

“YEAH I LOST PEACE AND QUIET! WHAT PART OF ‘LEAVE’ DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?”

Continuing to ignore the plant, Papyrus crawled around and patted the ground with a smile.

“What are you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’s doing?”

“Not leaving.”

“I’s looking for the quiet...”

“...”

“I know it be around here somewhere, don’t chu worry. The Gweat Papyrus gonna find it real good-”

“I know you’re not stupid Papyrus,” said Flowey frowning. “You may have everyone ELSE fooled, but I KNOW better-”

“SHHH! You’ll scare away da’ quiet Dirt-butt!”

“Knock it off.”

“What the quiet look like? Is it small? Like, really REALLY small?”

“Yeah it’s small, SMALL LIKE YOUR BR-” the plant stopped short. ”You know what? Forget it,” he said, smiling slyly. “Forget looking for the quiet. We’ll make our OWN quiet, how’s that sound?”

The infant’s eyes immediately lit up. “Ooooh! We doing da’ arts and crafts?”

He loved arts and crafts, but Flowey NEVER joined in with him and Sans. He instead preferred to watch from the air vent whilst occasionally shouting down insults centered around their creations.

Not that it bothered Papyrus per say.

Flowey was obviously just upset that he couldn’t use the glue without getting his petals and/or roots stuck together, which would’ve been sad if he didn’t handle it in such a pathetic manner like all his other problems.

“No, we’re gonna play a game. The QUIET game...”

“Ki-et game...?” Papyrus looked disappointed.

“Yep, the quiet game; it’s where we sit still and make no noise whatsoever. Whoever talks first loses, okay?”

“Kay’.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...We’s playing right now?”

“Yeah, isn’t this fun?”

“Yep! I really like sitting around in a field doing nothing like an asshole!”

“YOU CAN LEAVE!”

“No really; doing nothing is a baby’s favorite thing to do, cause’ we doesn’t know how to be pro-duc-tive members of so-ci-et-y...” said Papyrus before lazily rolling onto his back and sticking his foot in his mouth.

“...”

“Also I can’t leave until I beats you in round two, then I’ll be da’ game master!”

Flowey snorted. “You didn’t beat me in round one, so how do you suppose you’re going to do that?” he asked, placing his leaves where his hips would be.

“Easily,” replied the infant. “And I did too beat you. You’s just a sore loser, like always.”

“I AM NOT!”

“Perhaps you should get on baby’s level Dirt-butt?”

“I DIDN’T LOSE! All i did was tell you that the game started and that doesn’t count!”

“Git good scrub flower, nyeh heh heh!”

“Whatever. Even if I DID lose, YOU’RE being a sore winner!” said Flowey turning away.

This made Papyrus sit up and scratch his skull in confusion. “...Dat don’t make sense dough. How can baby be sore if baby won? You’s making stuff up-”

“NO I’M NOT!”

“You wants an apo-lo-gy?”

“YES!!”

“Kay’.”

“...”

“...”

“...Well?”

“I’m sorry you suck.”

“GET OUT OF MY FIELD!!”

“...And dat’s what happened.”

“what?”

“What?”

RING RING!

“...You want some pizza Snas?”

“go take down that post,” said Sans turning off his phone.

“If I takes it down will you pay wit me?”

“uhh...” he looked at his book and then back at Papyrus. He was in the middle of it, nowhere near the end, but he doubted he’d get much studying done if Gaster managed to convince the guards to step aside.

Dad and Pap will be at each other’s throats all day if the guards leave, and dogs don’t have the greatest attention span to begin with...

“uhhh, yeah sure, i suppose i could spend some time with ya’ if you want...depends on what we’re playing though.”

I’m not playing Hide and Seek with this cheater again, THAT’S for sure. Last time he used the security cameras to find me, the little brat.

“We pay House!”

“heh heh heh, house huh? and lemme guess, you wanna be the baby right?”

Papyrus ignored him and crawled back to his toy box shifting loudly through the multitude of broken toys.

“whatcha’ looking for baby bro?”

“Nyeh heh heh!” the infant laughed happily as he raised a fairly large stick in the air triumphantly, his brother watching him in confusion.

Why does he have a stick in his toy box?

CLACK CLACK CLACK!

Hobbling around on the stick, Papyrus grabbed a clipboard with one tiny hand and looked at it disapprovingly. “Wrong, wrong, wrong. Dis be all wrong. Don’t chu know anything besides food? You went to doctor school didn’t you? Sometimes I thinks you’s just here to clean out da’ vending machines...”

“wh-what?”

“Where da’ patient at? You didn’t eat them did you? You know we need those things for monies-”

“what the hell is your problem?”

“Well I gots a whale in my staff room, so PETA’s bound to give me a call sooner or later, other than that though it’s just my leg...oh, and the fact that you suck at yo’ job.”

“your...leg hurts...?”

What?

“The patient OB-VI-OUS-LY gots da’ heatstroke, so we needs to put them in the feezer or they no get better. I doesn’t know why you thought it be a good idea to put em’ in a hospital bed.”

“put em’ in the freezer huh? heh, iii don’t think that’s a good idea lil’ bro.”

“I stopped paying you to think when I re-ah-lized you’s bad at it. Now you follow orders. INTO DA’ FEEZER!” exclaimed the baby pointing to the ceiling dramatically. He then dropped the clipboard and plopped down on the floor, waiting for his older brother to respond.

“okayyy...?”

Papyrus stared right through him and waited silently; a smile plastered on his face. Apparently he had no intention of giving Sans any more instruction, despite never mentioning where, or more importantly, who the patient was supposed to be.

Am I supposed to go find one of his dolls or something?

Knowing his brother, that probably wasn’t the case, but Sans went to the toy box anyway in hopes that the baby Horror would be as happy with a non-living patient as he would a live one.

He was immediately stopped in his tracks.

“Where you going Dr. Snas? We gots to save the patient or they’s gonna die! Leave the toys alone, those be for sick babies...”

“where do i go then pap? where’s the sick guy?”

“Nyeh?” Papyrus looked around. “*GASP!* SNAS!”

“what?”

“THE PATIENT’S ASCAPED!”

“they escaped huh? and why would anyone wanna escape a hospital? that’s where people get healthy bro!”

“They must be hippies Snas!”

“really pap?”

“Quick! We gots to catch em’ before they go online and convince peoples to use natural home re-me-dies and herbs instead of medicines!”

“herbs ARE medicine.”

“...”

“...what?”

“You’s fired.”

“i’m fired...?”

“You’s fired. I can’t and won’t have druggies working under my stupervision. No wonder you’s bad at yo’ job!”

“i’m not a hippie, and that’s very offensive.”

“I doesn’t wanna hear your excuses. Have your desk cweened out by dis afternoon,” said Papyrus. He crawled away, exiting the lab door that led to Waterfall, and leaving his older sibling alone. He was sad that he couldn’t have Sans be his employee anymore, but at least Undyne had gotten home from daycare by now; he could play House with her. She wasn’t very smart, but at least she wasn’t a drug user...

His brother could be REALLY disappointing sometimes.

“psh, whatever,” muttered Sans picking up his book. “i didn’t wanna play with you any-”

Wait a minute.

“PAPYRUS TAKE DOWN THAT POST!!”

“NYEH!”

PUMP!

Papyrus kicked the glass door to the lab with his foot and continued on angrily.

Go munch a tree, hippie baby.

The artist contacted me before making the image, so I know who they are this time. The artist’s name is Rammorn, also known as Passing_Note on AO3.

[gnminjae-blog]

hi friends ! happy opening day to gaenari ♡ i’m so excited to see the directly finally open ahhh thank you admods for all your hard work ! i’m nik, and my boy here is ryu minjae, a nineteen year old gaenari local. he’s currently a second year at daehan private university, majoring in computer science and engineering. ooc, he’s part of the from ghoulies and ghosts subplot, so that should probably tell you what he’s into ! you can read more about him here, but i’ll drop some info about him under the cut to help with plotting as well. speaking of, if you’d like to plot, please smash that LIKE button and i’ll hop into your ims ! i also have a twitter available if you’d prefer to plot there !! 

LET’S HAVE A GREAT TIME HERE TOGETHER ♡

born and raised in gaenari ! his family’s presence in this town actually stretches back generations. they trace their line back to one of the original mining families of the region 

fittingly, they live in the yellow creek neighborhood, on haesam street. the ryu household is a multi-generational one; minjae lives there with his parents and his paternal grandparents

his parents are both teachers ( his dad teaches at taegu tech and his mom teaches at gaenari public school ) and his grandparents were well regarded public figures before retirement so they’re fairly well known around town

minjae attended gaenari public school for about a year before transferring to east view preparatory school. he’s always been a smart and hardworking kid so not many people were surprised when he got admission into daehan private university ( even if his family didn’t exactly approve )

was a small, shy kid with a stutter and oversized glasses who spent way too much time studying on his own. had a few friends but primarily just kept to himself during school hours and holed up in his room at home 

it was really no surprise that he got bullied a lot as a kid, from elementary school right up until his final year year of high school. it was a lot more obvious/known when he was younger, and by late middle school he got good at making people think nothing was wrong but... something was

it caused him to retreat into games !! pokemon especially, but he took anything that could help him escape from his life and let him be someone else for a while, a hero who people liked !! it grew into a life-long obsession and now he’s a huge gaming fanatic

is super grateful in a way because he met his closegoodfriends through their mutual love of all kinds of games so like, everything that happened wasn’t totally bad in the end. his major is sort of inspired by his love of games as well since he eventually wants to make one of his own for other kids like him

his parents buy him a lot of video games and systems and stuff as a substitute for actual affection of any kind, though he worked at all for you temp services throughout high school to finance his hobby

he actually collects a lot of retro video games/gaming systems to take them apart and study them or reprogram them... it’s a big hobby and he spends a lot of money on it now but it’s genuinely relaxing too

ANYWAYS , a super sweet kid, kind of shy and passive, completely non-confrontational, often lost in his own world. he comes off as kind of stand-offish and cold to most people but he’s just soft inside. he usually just talks to his group of tight friends but he really wants to approach & befriend more people too !! he’s just shy/nervous about rejection

he takes the train to daehan every morning and usually spends the entire day there except for weekends... really doesn’t like being at home so you can find him loitering around campus

also wanders around town whenever he can playing pokemon go. he has control over most of the gys in town ( except for the one at eun factory ) and is super proud of it because pokemon is his shit

HE’S JUST REALLY A GOOD KID PLEASE LOVE HIM

[5hfanfiction]

how you get the girl

on wattpad @ longerr_hours

“So you excited for pride on saturday?” Ariana asks as her and Camila made their way from lunch to french class for yet another hour of confusion. 

“I guess,” Camila shrugs, not really in the mood to talk after the depressing lunch period she’d just had. 

She’s been listening to her mopey break up playlist non stop - yes even at the gym, really good pump up music (note the sarcasm), and when Ally had asked about it it led to yet another round of questioning about her and Jade’s “break up”. The two were never dating, and it isn’t like the really could considering Jade had a serious girlfriend and Camila just had a hopeless crush, but it kind of hurt once she realize they officially couldn’t be together. 

The two had a talk, and it just so happened to fall a week before pride. So no, Camila wasn’t “excited for pride,” as Ari had asked, she was more like, sad about everything. 

“Hey but you might see your woman, last year we ended up with her in the end with a few of her friends and word on the street is that she’s single and looking to mingle,” Ariana wiggles her eyebrows and Camila groans but smiles despite herself. 

Her woman, also known as Lauren Jauregui, also known as the most attractive human known to date, isn’t really her woman at all.  Camila is the tip to easily develop crushes. Whether on her nerdy english teacher who’s perfect in every way, or the girl from her chemistry class who gets around, or one of her internet “friends” who said the right thing at the right time. She easily appreciates people, and usually it doesn’t mean much since she has crushes on literally everyone, but once in a blue moon a crush will come and it’ll last. 

Jade was kind of like that but with more feelings and bad luck, but Lauren Jauregui outshines even her biggest celebrity crush Selena Gomez. 

Lauren’s like, one of the only openly bisexual people at school, which is how Camila noticed who she was. She came out to Hailee a while back and the other girl immediately suggested they set her up with Lauren. Now, Camila had no idea who Lauren was, and after a few months of still not knowing and Hailee randomly bringing up how hot she is, Camila saw a girl in the hals and jut knew it was her. 

Camila is shameless when it comes to fingerling over her too, like one time they made eye contact for an assembly and Camila isn’t stop talking about until… well see she’s still talking about it because Lauren’s eyes were - are the most activating in the world and she completely made a fool out of hereof by forgetting to look way until like a good ten seconds later.  

One time she walked by her in the hallway and almost died for a few minutes before freaking out to Dinah who had been trying to keep her from passing out. 

She may or may not know the second half of Lauren’s schedule (no she did not actively seek it out, she just noticed her in the hallway, that’s all). 

She knows (form Hailee screens hotting her finsta and sending it to her) that Lauren’s favorite season of any show ever is glee season 2, which is Camila’s favorite too (and probably like any gay person’s but that doesn’t matter), so she’s pretty sure they’re soul mates. 

And all of this is before speaking one word to her. 

She’s added her on snapchat and instagram, but by that she means that Dinah added her on her snapchat since she’s kind of friends with Lauren and forceful about Camila’s crushes. And that when she finally got the balls to follow her on instagram, Sofi did it ten seconds later. Two notifications about two Cabello sisters in a row isn’t fishy at all. 

She hasn’t spoken to her though. And she hasn’t had one mutual class either, which is weird because they’re in similar courses, just different blocks. 

Ariana is pretty good friends with Lauren though, and now that her and Camila are friends and she knows about this crush, she’s thinking of any ways she can to make it happen. 

The first text to change her life is on the friday night before pride. She’s actually walking into the gym after her shift at Stop and Shop - new job, training is a bitch, when she gets it. It’s in the grip chat for the people she’s going to pride with and it reads a few words that make her freeze midstep. 

Kendall - hey guys is it cool if Shaun and Lauren Jaurgeui come w us? 

Camila thinks she stops breathing for a second. 

Ariana had said they might run into Lauren and her friends, but she never said the girl of her dreams would come with them. 

Hailee is at senior prom with a friend but she calls her anyways, freaking out about the news and she’s happy when Hailee humors her and freaks out as well, even though she’s in the middle of the gym and Hailee is probably doing stuff that seems more exciting than Lauren Jauregui (key word is seems, nothing is actually more exciting than Lauren Jauregui).

She doesn’t click on her sad playlist this time, no she picks the “good vibes” one because she’s pretty sure her life just got a heck of a lot better. 

It doesn’t. 

Not right away of course, but Camila is in a pretty shit mood when it’s 12;30 and she’s finally on her way into Boston for the parade. She’s late, because Ariana cancelled on going at all last minute and Perrie is sweet enough to wake herself up to go, but since the girl is a senior and was at prom the night before, she takes a while to get up and moving. 

The group they were supposed to go in turned more into a grip to meet up with, which is like, it’s fine because Lauren Jauregui is still there, but this damn train is taking forever. 

And once they’re finally there, Troye sees an open spot and pulls her and Perrie there before they can go find the group, since “Kendall is such a bitch why would we want to go over there,” and it takes almost half an hour for Perrie to shoot Camila a sympathetic look since she knows why the girl is so eager to go over there, and finally pull Troye away. 

“Guys! What the fuck took you so long?” Kendall greets once they’re there and Troye rants about traffic but Perrie shushes him and explains there was a better spot, making sure to stand so Camila is as close to Lauren as possible. Shaun is between them still, but this gives her a chance at conversation and she’s eternally grateful for Perrie’s presence. 

“Hey Mila,” Shaun greets, then goes into explaining everything she missed from the best drag queens to the weird anti circumcision float that everyone got awkward during. 

“Is it your first pride?” he finally asked after a few, Camila had honestly kind of zoned out because she was paying attention to Lauren. She was quiet, weirdly so for someone who seemed so confident and perfect, but not like, she wasn’t awkward about it, just kind of listened to Shaun talk but didn’t chip in. 

“Yeah it is,” Camila replies on cue, “I didn’t really realize I was gay until like last year but all my friends other than Dinah were high key homophobic so I just didn’t bother coming,” she explains with a frown but then shrugs to reassure him. 

“And you like it so far” he asks and Camila almost dies when she notices Lauren looking for her response too.

“Yeah, it’s really cool,” Camila says with a dumb nod, once again holding Lauren’s eye contact for  a little too long once she catches it then turing back to Shaun to snap out of it, “really gay, I am, yeah I’m really gay so like, yeah…” she trails off and she would be embarrassed when Lauren giggles at it but Lauren’s laugh has to be the best thing she’s ever heard in her life other than maybe the glee cover of Copacabana so she swallows her pride and laughs too. 

She doesn’t really talk to Lauren at all. She stands with her, and they laugh at things Shaun says together because he says a lot of funny things. She makes a point to emphasize how gay she is so Lauren might notice, and at one point Lauren offers her a bag of Mike & Ike’s and Camila eats them with a grin (even though she hates Mike & Ike’s).

It only feels like ten minutes before the parade wis over and they’re all walking back towards the train stop, but Camila is still following Lauren like a lost puppy, but like, kind of subtly (not really, Lauren’s the only one who hasn’t noticed her adoration). 

“Wait guys, Hailee got caught on the train and she’s literally about to be here,” Troye starts once they approach the stop and Camila knows this is where her time with Lauren Jauregui ends. “I feel bad that she missed the parade, shouldn’t we like… I don’t know, wait or something?" 

It ends up being her Troye and Perrie again until Hailee comes. 

Camila spends most of the night with a smile on her face, not exactly because of Lauren but like, indirectly probably because of Lauren. She’s just n a really good mood and that mood only enhances when she gets the second text that changes her world.  

It’s at the concert later, the gay one when she opens her texts and sees a bunch from Ariana in all caps and freaks the fuck out before even reading them.This must be important, she thinks, before clicking on it and her heart stops. 

Ari - HOLY FUK FUC KJSUFDU BJKV JHV NCAMILA MILA MILA OMGIJVJHVM  GUESS WHO JUST SNAP CHATTED ME 

Ari - MILA HOLY FUCK LAUREN JUST SNPCHATTED ME 

Ari - AND SHE SAID"do you kn ow that girl Camila’ an i said yeah AND THEN SHhe SAID 

Ari - "is Camila gay” ?!!!!!!! CAN YOU SE SKED IF UOU WERE GY SHE WNATS THE PUSSY GIRL CONGRSTS OH MY god my babies my gay babies  love you !!!!

“HOLY FUCK!” Camila yells as she processes the text, almost falling over but Perrie steadies her with a concerned look, to which she turns her phone to show the texts. “Lauren fucking Jauregui asked if I was gay.”

“Holy shit are you for real?” Hailee asks, grabbing Camila’s arm, jaw dropped in aw. 

“Lauren fucking Jauregui.”

Camila like, she doesn’t stop smiling for hours. Days even maybe, she just, she’s so happy with the idea of Lauren Jauregui. She spends the night after pride with Ariana and Perrie, eating McDonald’s and fingerling over the green eyed beauty, and she spends the next day day dreaming about her. 

It’s not until lunch on Monday that something else happens. 

Now her and Ariana, they’re like, they’re kind of weird together. As in after pride they had a fight with the free lube Camila had gotten in the parade, then covered themselves in it to see what it would feel like to “be one of them hoes” and bough three twenty piece McNuggets to split and eight root beers. 

But another thing they did was spend like hours fantasizing about how cute dating Lauren would be, and Ariana decided, covered in lube and halfway through her third bottle (Perrie was present for all of this, smiling and trying not to think about how odd the other two were)to play match maker. 

“I’m going to set you two up, then you will owe me your life,” she had promised. 

So when Camila gets a text before lunch reading, 

Ari - you owe me your life.

she nearly combusts on the spot. 

“What happened?” Camila pounces on the girl once she makes her way to their table. 

“Geez give a girl some space, would you?” she jokes but Camila’s face shows that she can’t wait. “Lauren said to hit her up,” she says simply, and Camila kind of like, she kind of shrieks and dies  a little bit but by the time lunch is over she’s overanalyzing everything. Ariana ends up texting Lauren that she has to hit up Camila herself to spare the younger girl some nerves, but by wednesday, Camila is still waiting by the phone with nothing but thoughts of Lauren. 

Luckily, Ariana is on the inside and Camila is reassured that Lauren is just nervous and doesn’t know how to approach it, but unfortunately since Camila is the one with all of the amp, Ariana begins to pressure her to make the move. 

Now, how does one, make the move?

Camila’s never done anything like this. she’s awkward, and shy, and not experienced at all, and honestly she’s never been the type to want a relationship. 

But this, this is the girl of her dreams. It's the girl. The one she’s had a crush on since six months ago, the one that’s so far out of her league it’s basically t ball vs the major leagues. 

This is Lauren Jaurgeui, and apparently Lauren fucking Jauregui is nervous to talk to her, so Camila needs to do something. 

And something she does. 

After hours of looking, and thinking and trying to force herself to get some balls, Camila finally does what needs to be done. 

She snap chat texts her, which is like, well it’s the shadiest way to text anyone but it’s all she’s got and she finally has balls so she has to make her move, and she does. 

hey i know this is weird since we’ve never really talked but are you any good at algebra? 

Camila like, she’s so nervous that she may or may not start crying a little bit, but Lauren replies in a minute and she manages to keep her cool long enough to open it (a solid minute later because she’s no fool). 

depends on the chapter, why? 

Here goes nothing, you were born for this, it’s now or never. “You’re an all star Camila, don’t fuck this up,” she says to herself before taking a deep breath and typing. 

I was wondering if you’d be able to help me replace my x? 

“Nailed it,” she whispers to herself again. 

-

Her and Lauren text for four days straight non stop before their first FaceTime call, and FaceTime every single night, finals be damned, before they finally decide to hangout on the last day of school. 

It’s not awkward at all, and Camila is totally, shamelessly smitten with the other girl. They go to Wendy’s for lunch, Camila buys Lauren her food, a little shyly but when Lauren spills her soda everywhere she laughs louder than she has in weeks. 

Shaun works at the Starbucks she goes to every day with Dinah so he gives her insight on how Lauren’s reacting along with Ariana, and it makes Camila feel butterflies in her whole body whenever she gets a hint that Lauren might feel even a fraction of what she does. 

Lauren wakes her up with bad pick up lines every morning and Camila rants about how amazing it is that she’s giving her the time of day  every night. 

And like, Camila will still fangirl over her every few hours. Whether she’s with her or not, the fact that she’s like, kind of almost dating Lauren Jauregui is amazing to her. n

The bad part is that neither of them will make any moves. 

Lauren’s the one to hold her hand first. They’re watching NCSI and all Camila can think about is how she wants to hold Lauren’s hand but she literally can not get herself to dot it. So when Lauren does it, she smiles for about two billion hours.

They usually watch glee, they started on season two and Camila smiled brightly, knowingly when Lauren grinned and said it was her favorite. 

Their first kiss is two weeks and a day after school ends. It’s almost on the third of July, with fireworks and everything but then Lauren’s bus is pulling away and Camila is listing to I should’ve Kissed You by One Direction on loop for the next two hours. 

The next time they hangout though, thats when she finally makes the move. 

Not exactly actually, Camila wants to kiss her, she does, and they’re lying on the couch, facing each other, so close that with one move she could close the gap, but Camila has a knack for rambling in times like that, so that’s what she does, she rambles, and Lauren watches with an amused grin. 

It takes literally half an hour for Lauren to let out a laugh at Camila’s nervousness and finally connect their lips herself, pulling back after a second, only for Camila to follow, whispering something along the lines of “thank fuck,” against her lips before going in for more. 

Only since she wasted all of that time rambling Lauren’s dad beeping his car outside breaks the kiss, Lauren falling against Camila in laughs makes it okay, because like Camila said, nothing beats Lauren’s laugh (other than maybe glee Copacabana but she’s not sure anymore).

She goes to the movies with Lauren and Dinah, her best friend has to approve (they’re already kind of friends but still), and freaks out halfway through because Lauren Jauregui is holding her hand. 

And later that night, she kind of tells Lauren that she’s had a crush on her since forever ago. 

Lauren thinks it’s adorable, says so too and makes Camila smile ten times harder, then ramble for a few before stealing a second kiss. 

The kissing becomes normal, and the hanging out every single day that Camila isn’t working does too. She knows not to ditch her friends because she isn’t fake, but she’d only ever really hung out with Dinah and she still sees her every day too, so she’s maintaining her dignity and dating her dream girl. 

Well not like officially dating. 

That doesn’t happen until the end of July. 

Camz - I’m getting a puppy on Sautrday 

Lolo Regz - shit so now I have to fight for your attention even more ? totally not fair at all

Camila’s been in Cape Cod for like, well only for four days but she’s actually having a mental break down without Lauren by her side. It’s a family reunion, which is already adding to her being stressed out a little bit because like, who likes family reunions. And all of her cousins are being annoying, and now her mom randomly decided to get a dog which, hey she isn’t complaining but now it delays her seeing Lauren by like a few hours. 

Lolo Regz - Im face timing you, I miss ur face too much right now

“Hi lovely,” Lauren greets as soon as Camila answers which is immediately. 

“Hey Lo,” Camila smiles, running a hand through her messy hair, wishing she had washed it after the beach. “I miss you tons." 

"Me too Camz, I can’t wait to see you, oh my god I’m going to hug you so hard” Lauren says and Camila breaks into a huge grin because it’s Lauren and she adores her back now. 

Lauren laughs at her puns sometimes and she kisses her first sometimes too and she holds her hand all the time and she’s taken her out to her favorite restaurant twice now despite not really knowing what to get there since she’s a picky eater. 

(Their first official date was on the month anniversary of when Camila texted her but like, Camila wasn’t keeping track or anything.)

Lauren’s like, Lauren’s her perfect match she thinks and she hasn’t turned off her “good vibes” playlist since that day she got  that text asking if Shaun and Lauren could come with them to pride. 

They spend the rest of Camila’s week away missing each other and like, they haven’t stopped texting since that first pick up line Camila sent Lauren. They text until they see each other until they text again. 

When they see each other that saturday they’re with Camila’s whole family so they don’t get to kiss or anything but later on they do, and even though Lauren keeps telling Camila she needs to shower since she smells like new dog, she lets Camila kiss her. 

They’re on the last episode of season three when Lauren pops the question. 

Camila had been low key planning to get down on one knee with a ring pop and ask Lauren to “go steady with her?” since she thought that shit was cute, but when Lauren asks if she’ll officially be her girlfriend, Camila smiles harder than she ever has before replying, “wait, for real?” and mentally smacking herself until Lauren giggles at her and she’s smiling again. 

She gives it the biggest yes she’s ever given anything hands down, and she thanks god that Dinah added Lauren Jauregui on her snap chat. 

(and that Lauren Jauregui added her back.)

[chimericarchitect]

kurvakiousSexekutionoir 1

-- kurvakiousSexekutionoir [KS] began trolling talentedSalad [TS] at 20:56 --

[08:56] KS: heloo kiwi

[08:56] TS: Hey hey!! It's been a while, dude. :3

[08:56] TS: How's the doggo?

[08:56] KS: way too loong~

[08:57] KS: mooms gooood, still being a

[08:57] KS: bitkh~ ;)

[08:57] TS: SO like, where ARE you now?

[08:58] KS: uuuuummmmm the edge oof a foorest? its at a krooss sektioon oof water

[08:58] KS: yoou?

[08:59] TS: You get lost so easily. :/ As for me, I'm still in the same place. Prol'ly gonna have to move soon though.

[08:59] KS: ooh yeah? why this time?

[08:59] KS: and oo be fair i wanter aimlessly

[09:00] KS: wander*

[09:00] KS: too*

[09:00] KS: shut it

[09:00] TS: ^_^ Because it's not "SAFE"

[09:00] TS: You know the drill

[09:00] KS: yup i get ya

[09:01] KS: hoonestly with hoow kloose we are too the water im kinda woorried aboout seadwellers

[09:01] TS: I can never convince them that it's fine for us to stay in one place, so maybe if you send me your coordinates I can trick them into moving us closer together

[09:02] KS: dude, doo they knoow that i knoow?

[09:02] TS: Uhhhhhh

[09:02] TS: no

[09:02] TS: It's a secret

[09:02] KS: danger.

[09:03] TS: ;)

[09:03] KS: they might hurt me oor moom foor knoowing brootatoo

[09:03] KS: just leave. yoour a groown assed trooll

[09:03] TS: Look, I'll just pick the location without telling them WHY I wanna go there

[09:03] TS: They never need to know you exist

[09:03] KS: mmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmm

[09:04] KS: doo yoou feel the skeptikisim in my exeading amoount oof ms?

[09:04] TS: Yes, I feel it. The Mm's leak into my very core, staining me in an expression of doubt and deliciousness

[09:05] TS: Just gimme the coordinayes

[09:05] KS: kinky~ yeah oone sek

[09:05] KS: {koooordinates SENT}

[09:06] TS: {coordinates RECEIVED}

[09:06] TS: Hey, thanks

[09:06] KS: ill make sure moom doosnt eat yoou

[09:06] KS: aktully shell think its gooood that im getting pakk mates

[09:07] TS: Hopefully I'll be seeing you in the near future. THEN we can worry about your mom eating me

[09:07] KS: i mean its soomething too prewarn aboout

[09:08] KS: ya knoow?

[09:08] TS: Hey, quick question... Is it grassy there?

[09:08] KS: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooHHHHHHHHHHHH yeah

[09:08] KS: alergies?

[09:08] TS: I dunno. No?

[09:09] KS: then why ask aboout gras?

[09:09] KS: grass

[09:09] KS: gy j5trw4

[09:09] TS: This cross-section of water... Is it a river or a lake?

[09:09] KS: its woooods oon edge oof sea. theres a lake kloose by

[09:10] KS: oone sek ive goot soomoone litatally stinkking there noose oon my skrean

[09:11] TS: oh geez.

[09:11] TS: Hi mom.

[09:11] KS: she likks the skrean when ever she sees yoour writing

[09:11] KS: kooloor bling my left boottoom moost grub foooot

[09:11] TS: What

[09:12] KS: kooloor blind*

[09:12] KS: she likes yoou

[09:12] KS: i think

[09:12] TS: What X2 combo

[09:12] KS: ... when we talk

[09:12] TS: I don't see what that has to do with grub fet

[09:13] KS: she kisses the koomputer

[09:13] TS: How does that have ANYTHING to do with your grub feet??

[09:14] KS: ... yoouve never heard that expressioon?!

[09:14] TS: What's the expression that I'm apparently missing?

[09:14] KS: my left foooot just moore indepth

[09:14] KS: its like

[09:15] KS: thing is tootaly real!

[09:15] KS: bull shit aka my left foooot

[09:15] TS: Oh wait. I think I get it now.

[09:15] KS: i just went krazy with it

[09:15] TS: Okay. So your doggo mom can see color. THAT is your point.

[09:15] KS: yes

[09:16] KS: gooood joob

[09:16] KS: yoou did it

[09:16] KS: im soo prooud

[09:16] TS: eat my shorts

[09:17] TS: Irakit

[09:17] TS: Why do you roam?

[09:17] KS: woodoont yoou wear kakies?

[09:17] KS: bekause im a loow blooood and id like too live?

[09:18] KS: i doont knoow what yoou mean?

[09:18] KS: why doo yoou

[09:18] TS: I wouldn't roam if I had the choice. :/

[09:19] KS: wait why is that saness

[09:19] KS: why stay still?

[09:19] TS: It would be nice to be able to sit still and make some IRL friends

[09:19] TS: We could hang out

[09:19] TS: Find a favorite spot

[09:19] KS: ...

[09:19] TS: Like a picnic

[09:20] TS: sorry

[09:20] TS: That's dumb

[09:20] KS: noow im goonna have too likk yoou foor being kute

[09:20] TS: Crikey

[09:20] KS: noope its sweet

[09:20] KS: tootaly dangeroous and woould happen after the doown fall oof skookiety

[09:21] KS: but super sweet, and kute

[09:21] TS: I mean, it'd be cool if we didn't have to usurp society in order to go to a cafe or something

[09:21] TS: I'd like to meet people

[09:21] KS: thats true...

[09:22] KS: id like too like meat peoople and noot have too run foor my shit

[09:23] TS: Do you even talk to anyone else besides me?

[09:23] KS: woolf moom koount?

[09:24] TS: No. Trolls only.

[09:24] KS: ... i toold ooff a seadweller a while bakk...

[09:24] KS: soo...

[09:24] KS: noo

[09:24] TS: WHoa, you did WHAT??

[09:24] TS: Are you ok???

[09:25] TS: Don't go getting killed on me!!

[09:25] KS: im fine it was like... a sweep agoo.

[09:25] TS: You never told me about that. :/ What happened?

[09:26] KS: he shoowed up trying too shoooot moom. i snarked at him and we fukkin booooked it.

[09:26] TS: A kid?

[09:26] KS: yeah like... 4 oor 5

[09:27] TS: Wow, a young one. No wonder you got away.

[09:28] KS: koold assed doog noose in my spine!!!!!

[09:28] KS: yeah noo kidding

[09:28] TS: It's amazing that you can type while being assaulted by barkbeast snout

[09:28] KS: didnt help that we was in the air and we were in the woooods

[09:28] TS: That probably made his job hard, yeah

[09:29] KS: definetly

[09:29] TS: At least hi didn't follow you

[09:29] KS: alsoo thank yoou foor the koompliment too my skills

[09:30] KS: if he had it woould have been bad

[09:30] KS: foor him

[09:30] TS: You're welcome? But maybe chill with the ego.

[09:30] TS: He PURPOSEFULLY tried to take on your lusus

[09:30] KS: meh, egoo keeps me brethoo

[09:30] TS: *eyebrow*

[09:30] KS: true. whikh means hes fukking stupid

[09:31] KS: *eyebroow waggle*

[09:31] KS: uhuhr9tj-0aet7897t5w5

[09:31] TS: *sighs* Dude.

[09:32] KS: im kareful. im oonly a tootaly booisterooid dikk oonline

[09:32] KS: with yoou

[09:32] KS: kause i have noooone else too loove me

[09:33] KS: if it boothers yoou soo mukh

[09:33] KS: i shall kease too egoo

[09:33] KS: will that please yoou?

[09:35] TS: Ho boy. That took me a minute to translate. Your spelling is atrocious.

[09:35] KS: its my quirk

[09:36] TS: Okay, okay. Just don't be all sad at me okay? I'm not exactly popular, so I don't wanna get rid of you either.

[09:36] KS: oor are yoou talking aboout booiseroois

[09:36] TS: Boisterous? You mean boisterous.

[09:36] KS: yaaaaayyyyy

[09:37] KS: *floops oover* afektioon has been granted

[09:38] TS: You are a loser.

[09:38] TS: :)

[09:38] KS: yoou too~ ;)

[09:39] TS: What are your plans now?

[09:40] KS: i have too fight too keep moom ff the koomputer. perhapse set up soome sikk rooleplay shiz~

[09:40] KS: and doodge droones

[09:42] TS: Drones? Way out there?

[09:45] KS: noot rekently but we may be mooving soooon AFTER YOOU GET HERE

[09:45] KS: moom hit the kaps

[09:45] KS: bus doog

[09:45] TS: You plan on moving again when I get there? :T

[09:46] KS: with yoou oof koourse

[09:46] KS: but yeah, im a little oold too be oon planet

[09:46] KS: i mean im almoost 10

[09:47] TS: Oh shit. Really? :o

[09:47] TS: U OLD

[09:47] KS: yup. yeah yeah yoou little shit hoow oold are yoou again?

[09:47] KS: 9

[09:47] KS: u shit

[09:48] TS: Yeah, well

[09:48] TS: Being deported is the least of my wories

[09:48] TS: *worries

[09:48] KS: being murthered is higher id imagine

[09:48] TS: Murthered?

[09:49] KS: like murdered mut meme

[09:49] KS: well it was a meme when i was like 6

[09:49] KS: good were oold

[09:49] KS: *gooood

[09:50] TS: Yeah, I have NO idea what you're talking about dude

[09:51] KS: its gooood too be oold

[09:51] KS: we kan pass oour shit too yoounger troolls

[09:51] KS: alsoo noot mut but

[09:52] TS: I literally have nothing worth passing on

[09:52] KS: i type fast

[09:52] KS: well theres yoour genes ;D

[09:52] TS: No. Do YOU have something worth passing on?

[09:53] KS: ... noope. looooks like ill have too assist yoou in passing oon genes

[09:54] TS: Ew. Dude, you're starting to sound like Teivel.

[09:54] KS: they makking oon my girl

[09:55] TS: What? No. I don't think he's serious.

[09:55] KS: gooood

[09:55] TS: He's kust a filthy memer like me

[09:55] KS: btw yoou didnt disagree that yoou were my girl~

[09:55] KS: kust?

[09:56] TS: Cust?

[09:57] KS: yoou said kust

[09:57] TS: I meant "just"

[09:57] TS: sorry

[09:57] KS: its ookayyyy

[09:58] KS: whikh oone is teivel again?

[09:58] TS: The filthy memer with a corpse addiction. You know, I could give you their contact information... :)

[09:58] KS: the peakookk oone? oor the lizard oone

[09:59] TS: Lizard.

[09:59] KS: *shaking head vergeroously* noonoonoo noo need too invoolve moore peoople. espekialy a highblooood.... hed aktually have reasoon too turn me in

[10:00] TS: He hasn't turned me in.

[10:00] KS: btw i saw

[10:00] KS: hmmmm i dunnoo...

[10:00] KS: why hasnt he is my questioon

[10:01] KS: annnnyyyyywaaaayyyyy

[10:01] KS: i saw

[10:01] KS: i saw oolive gaurden

[10:01] TS: Oh

[10:01] TS: You like?

[10:01] KS: yoou are a memer

[10:01] TS: I just asked Krolio (the nice peacock boy) and he said I could give you his handle

[10:02] TS: ;)

[10:02] KS: WOOT

[10:02] KS: WHY

[10:02] TS: I'm giving them yours

[10:02] KS: PEOOPLE

[10:02] KS: OOH GOOG NOOT READY

[10:02] KS: DEATH

[10:02] TS: his is aestheticVirtuoso

[10:02] KS: I WILL DIE

[10:02] KS: DATH

[10:02] KS: DIE

[10:02] KS: DOOOOMMMMMMMMM

[10:02] KS: peoople....

[10:03] TS: You are so flashy

[10:03] TS: Take a breath, maybe?

[10:03] TS: It's online.

[10:03] TS: They can't hurt you, and Krolio is super nice

[10:03] KS: right... yeah... ookay..

[10:04] TS: You gonna message them, or should I tell them to initiate first contact with your own alien self?

[10:04] KS: ... but... i koould... try?

[10:05] TS: Go ahead

[10:07] KS: i inikiated koontakt

[10:07] KS: kinda

[10:07] TS: Hey, good on you! ^_^

[10:07] KS: ....

[10:07] KS: i said hi

[10:07] KS: i feel stupid.

[10:07] KS: OOH GOOG THEY RESPOONDED HELP

[10:08] TS: http://www.clker.com/cliparts/e/N/K/a/E/m/green-thumbs-up-hi.png

[10:08] TS: You can do it!!

[10:08] KS: hoo doo i poolite am i sooing it riht halp

[10:09] TS: Just shill out. Talk to him like he's me, maybe? :/ He's cool, I swear.

[10:09] KS: ... hoow oold is he?

[10:11] TS: I think he's 8

[10:11] TS: Hang on while I confirm

[10:11] KS: ... hes a baby

[10:11] TS: Yeah okay you crusty old bag of barkbeast dung

[10:12] KS: smool thing...

[10:12] TS: *rolls eyes*

[10:12] KS: ... were boonding oover the letter g

[10:13] TS: He's 8!

[10:13] KS: mkay

[10:13] TS: How can you bond over a letter you strange scrag?

[10:14] KS: yoour memes

[10:14] TS: THAT IS NOT SOMETHING TO BOND OVER YOU FURRY

[10:15] KS: furry?

[10:15] KS: serioously?

[10:15] KS: nerd

[10:15] TS: :P

[10:15] TS: I just told Krolio that I'm 9

[10:15] KS: what he say?

[10:16] TS: He started asking about why I didn't leave the planet...

[10:16] TS: But that's okay!!

[10:16] KS: ooh dear he doosnt knoow

[10:16] TS: I trust him. :3

[10:17] KS: dooes e knoow?

[10:18] TS: You mean about my situation?

[10:18] TS: No.

[10:18] KS: but if yoou trust him why noot?

[10:18] KS: yoou toold the blue lizard guy

[10:18] TS: It's never come up until now.

[10:18] TS: I didn't tell him!

[10:18] KS: oohhh

[10:18] KS: wait wut

[10:19] TS: I did NOT tell Teivel

[10:19] KS: then hoow?

[10:19] TS: He probably just makes jokes about it because of the color of my font

[10:19] TS: I bet he doesn't ACTUALLY know

[10:20] KS: .... right. noot like every trooll ever uses their blooood kooloor instead.

[10:20] TS: I can pass as Olive!!

[10:21] KS: ..............................................................................................................................................................

[10:21] TS: *squints*

[10:21] KS: doont get a kut, shoow yoour eyes, blush too hard, wear yoour symbool

[10:21] KS: what oother rules doo yoou have again?

[10:22] KS: koommmoon kiwi yoou knoow better

[10:22] TS: Shut up. You forgot that I'm not allowed outside at all, unless we're moving to a new location.

[10:23] KS: again. groown assed trooll

[10:24] KS: live with me in the woooods and say fukk em

[10:24] TS: Yeah, but we both know that I wouldn't last a second out there. :( There's no way I'd be able to keep up with you. Besides, they're all really nice to me here.

[10:25] TS: I wouldn't wanna hurt their feelings.

[10:26] TS: I owe them so much.

[10:26] TS: I would've been culled long ago if not for them.

[10:27] KS: i oouldnt leave yoou behind doooof...

[10:27] KS: ookay noot fukk em then

[10:27] KS: maybe just

[10:27] KS: i need too spread my wings and fly

[10:28] TS: Yeah. Maybe.

[10:28] KS: yoou knoow ill never leave yoou behind. never abandoon yoou

[10:29] KS: unless im dead

[10:29] TS: Tch. Nice.

[10:29] KS: and then ill haunt yoour ass and like stakk yoour khairs oor soomething

[10:29] TS: You're weird as ever, Irakit.

[10:30] KS: and yoour as dense as ever saness

[10:30] TS: Why you gotta insult me like this? >:P

[10:30] TS: You're a butt

[10:31] KS: *head pat* true

[10:32] TS: Hey, quick question... DO you usually cook your food?

[10:32] KS: its ookay noot too understand what im throowing doown

[10:32] KS: um yeah i doo. when i kan

[10:33] TS: How many times out of ten is it raw?

[10:34] KS: ....

[10:34] KS: 5

[10:34] TS: Yikes.

[10:34] KS: maybe 7

[10:34] TS: DOUBLE YIKES

[10:34] KS: id kooook moore foor yoou thoo

[10:35] KS: im used too it

[10:35] TS: XP

[10:35] KS: ???

[10:35] TS: You are cool and I like you, but ew.

[10:35] KS: what?

[10:35] TS: What do you eat, exactly?

[10:36] KS: antler beast. soometimes fish. depend oon what we katkh

[10:36] KS: friuts rare

[10:37] TS: Ever catch a lusus?

[10:37] KS: oonke. but it was woounded too moortality anyway.

[10:37] KS: im noo oorphaner ya knoow

[10:37] TS: ...ever eat a troll?

[10:38] KS: noot sinke i was like 2

[10:38] KS: that was my lusus

[10:38] TS: Your barkbeast is scary

[10:38] KS: shes sweet.

[10:39] TS: And murderous

[10:39] KS: noot any moore

[10:39] TS: Hm? That sounds... ominous.

[10:39] KS: eh

[10:40] TS: Is she okay?

[10:40] KS: yoou have sukh a sooft veiw... its nike

[10:41] KS: shes tootaly fine.

[10:41] TS: I'm not soft, I'm inexperienced.

[10:41] KS: im just noot a kannibal

[10:41] KS: its the same thing

[10:42] TS: No it's not. We don't know if I'm soft. I've never had to do anything dangerous.

[10:43] KS: kiwi its praktikall garenteed that a trooll will eat anoother trooll

[10:43] TS: I wonder if I have?

[10:43] KS: ever had grubskauke?

[10:43] TS: I don't know.

[10:43] KS: its noot too feed grubs

[10:44] TS: Yeah, I have no idea

[10:45] KS: ahhh i see...

[10:45] KS: well theres a khanke ya knoow?

[10:45] TS: Yeah, I suppose so.

[10:45] TS: BRB gotta barf

[10:46] KS: noo doont

[10:46] TS: *fake vomit sounds*

[10:46] KS: man oone oof these days ill tell yoou the tale oof the rainboowdrinkers

[10:48] TS: I know what rainbowdrinkers are. Are you referring to a specific story?

[10:48] KS: i mean what doo yoouthink they eat

[10:49] TS: Just blood. They don't have to KILL anyone.

[10:50] TS: They can

[10:50] TS: But they don't have to

[10:50] KS: isnt it alsoo like a weird sex thing? oor is that just bad roomank3 noovels

[10:50] TS: It... uh...

[10:50] TS: I'm not sure?

[10:51] KS: huh

[10:51] KS: yoou goonna ask?~~~~~~~~~~~~;D

[10:51] TS: Dude.

[10:51] TS: ...

[10:51] TS: ...

[10:51] TS: ...

[10:51] TS: Maybe.

[10:51] KS: yoour tempted!!!!! tesssss

[10:51] KS: yes

[10:51] KS: noot tes

[10:51] KS: wtf

[10:52] TS: I mean, I wanna know but it could be an awkward chat y'know?

[10:52] KS: anyway

[10:52] TS: yeha

[10:52] KS: yes thats true

[10:52] KS: i woould aprookh it ...

[10:52] KS: noot at all aktually bekause peoople skare the shit ooutta me

[10:52] KS: remember when we first me?

[10:53] KS: met*

[10:53] TS: What about it?

[10:53] KS: i loost trakk oof hoow ooften i kinda dik=sapeared oon yoou beakk then

[10:53] KS: we were soo yooung

[10:53] KS: soo full oof life

[10:54] TS: We're not THAT old, dipass

[10:54] KS: and free oof the kurioosity oof wheather oor noot blooood drinking was kinky

[10:54] KS: dipass

[10:54] KS: really

[10:54] KS: when did yoou sleep last?

[10:55] TS: Uhh... Yesterday...? I'm supposed to be getting ready for the move.

[10:55] KS: yeah i guess we shoould depart foor noow

[10:56] TS: Yeah, I guess.

[10:56] TS: You still talking to Krolio?

[10:56] KS: kinda? its awkward

[10:56] TS: What do you mean?

[10:56] KS: loong trails oof skilenke

[10:57] TS: On whose end?

[10:57] KS: yes

[10:58] TS: You could talk about your lusus

[10:59] TS: Or ask about his

[10:59] KS: we did. his steals keys. mine steals my fooood throough big eyes and whineing

[10:59] TS: Everything about your lusus is big

[11:00] TS: Talk abuot where you live. Apparently he lives in a forest too.

[11:00] KS: we aktually said gooood day

[11:01] TS: Oh, you're done talking now?

[11:02] KS: yeah. well with them foor noow... im.... bad at this

[11:02] TS: Don't sweat it!

[11:02] TS: Either way, it's good practice

[11:02] KS: true true

[11:02] TS: Even if things don't work out between you and Krolio, it'll still help you in the long run

[11:03] TS: I almost wonder if you'd be better off talking to Teivel

[11:03] KS: woork oout?

[11:03] KS: shipper

[11:03] TS: No

[11:03] KS: noo

[11:03] KS: ?

[11:03] TS: That's not what I meant!!

[11:03] KS: oohhhhhh

[11:03] TS: You could be FRIENDS you nerd

[11:03] KS: lool

[11:04] KS: yoour sukh a goooof when it koomes too peoople teaing yoou

[11:04] TS: A goof? Am not!

[11:04] KS: awwwwww are too and thats ook

[11:05] KS: are they khewing yoou oout?

[11:06] TS: Who? The Jade bloods?

[11:06] KS: yup

[11:07] TS: Uh, not yet...

[11:07] KS: ookay. gooood doont wanna get yoou skoolded

[11:08] KS: ill have too head in soooon. dawns aprookhing

[11:08] TS: Anyway, Teivel's contact information is gallionicTrickster if you feel like talking to him sometime.

[11:08] TS: I'll go too.

[11:08] TS: He's not usually online, but when he is he's... chatty

[11:08] KS: doont get burned!!!!

[11:08] KS: oohhhh

[11:08] KS: ooh dear

[11:08] KS: pk

[11:08] KS: ook*

[11:08] TS: I won't, you numpty

[11:09] TS: Can I give him your info?

[11:09] KS: ... sure

[11:09] TS: Okay, cool. I'll catch you later then?

[11:10] KS: yup katkh ya later dude

[11:10] KS: btw

[11:10] KS: yoou never denied yoou were my girl ;D

[11:10] TS: Holy shit

[11:11] TS: This? Now?

[11:11] TS: Go to sleep

[11:11] KS: have a gooood day sweet dreams~ byeeee

[11:11] TS: Bye

-- kurvakiousSexekutionoir [KS] gave up trolling talentedSalad [TS] at 23:11 --

@kurvakioussexekutionoir

[portfolio-]

I need to process my feelings about Episode 13. Fucking heartbreaking.

I like that Sunny decided to break up with Grim Reaper. Unpopular opinion? Maybe, but it’s a necessary step for Sunny’s character to grow. She has been tied too long to Wang Yeo’s and Kim Shin’s fates. I agree with another viewer who said that breaking with Grim Reaper gives the couple a clean slate. Sunny deserves to make her own destiny, and if it means putting the past behind and all ties with it, then so be it. I want her to grasp this new future wherein she can establish herself as a capable person. She doesn’t deserve to be weighed down by the love she had for Wang Yeo.

Between the Kim siblings, I think they’ve been given a good closure. Sunny’s consent and promise to Kim Shin broke my heart, but it has to happen. They’ve said what they have to say, and they both deserve to find their own peace.

Grim Reaper, or the new Wang Yeo, broke my heart too. I want to hate the deity for the punishment bestowed to him; it was cruel, but it was the rightful price for his sins. I want to comfort him badly because he’s been so miserable and lonely – even now. Who could blame the Kim siblings for walking away, even if they love him? As a viewer, I just realized the poetic justice of Wang Yeo knowing everything and paying it justly because he is conscious of what is to happen. It hurt. It pained me to watch him go after the Kim siblings. It pained my that Eun Tak and Deok Hwa are both clueless on how to tread this thin thread.

But to absolve his sins by calling on Park Joong Won at the most important moment of the show – goodness. I cried so bad when Shin bid him goodbye, just as he wanted to hear almost a millennium ago. This is his partner in crime, his best friend, and no matter how painful the centuries had been for them, deep inside they still cared a lot for each other. Everything about them was so precious. The montage of their bromance moments broke me. Grim Reaper’s silent plea and heartbreak broke me. Kim Shin’s anger and resignation broke me.

(I am actually crying while typing this. Heavens.)

But the ultimate heartbreak for me was Eun Tak. KES typically writes female leads that are a bit resentful, but I warmed up yo KGE’s Ji Eun Tak the same way SHK’s Kang Mo Yeon got me. She had been Kim Shin’s constant supporter and believer, and her quiet strength was something I felt was under-appreciated. She does appear childish, but her wide-eyed amazement and hope in life has been refreshing. I think that’s what drew Kim Shin to her, aside from being destined to be his bride. She has been a fighter throughout her life, and you have to admit that it was a wonder she didn’t become some cynical kid.

I love every bit of her moment in this episode. Maybe because they were setting us up for heartbreak (and boy, they did)? Something about KGE’s Eun Tak and GY’s Kim Shin was so natural and endearing, you couldn’t help but ship them, societal norms be damned. This show is on the fantasy genre, people. Wake up. Anyway, who could resist GY, eh? I am no actress, but don’t you think these artists are able to build such chemistry because they fall even a little bit in love with their co-star? I am not saying that KGE and GY did, but they drew us in. I have a soft spot for first loves, which had me shipping them, but they also delivered something so pure and nostalgic. I loved watching them looking at each other. I love how Eun Tak stole kisses from Kim Shin. I love how Kim Shin takes all the love. I love how he gives back in his own way, over and over again. I love how it hit him so deeply, particularly in episode 4. I love how they’re so damn happy when they have every reason not to be.

AND THAT GOODBYE KISS. NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. All their light pecks are adorable and reminiscent of their innocence, Eun Tak given her youth and Kim Shin given the stunted nature of his romantic life. But that last kiss was frantic and desperate and simply wanting for something that will never be. It was brilliantly performed, and both actors conveyed the sense of impending doom well. I would have wanted Kim Shin to give Eun Tak another kiss, but they’re running out of time. Eun Tak, even in her surprise, felt it coming. And it hurt all the more.

And when Kim Shin took his own sword from his chest, GOOD LORD. It was symbolic of Shin’s own purging, of his acceptance of the end. Eun Tak didn’t have to remove it; she simply is a driving force for Kim Shin to open his eyes. That’s the best twist I’ve seen in this show, once I don’t think anyone guessed.

Then when Eun Tak gained consciousness and realized what happened…holy shit. Just. I think I sobbed. When she desperately held on to Kim Shin as if her hug could pull him together. Their tearful gaze. Eun Tak’s “No”. Their I love yous. The look of longing in Kim Shin’s eyes. His last confession. I was watching the episode around two in the morning, and was doing my best to muffle my sobs because I. Couldn’t. Take. It. My mind probably short-circuited with all my feelings.

And when Kim Shin finally turned to ashes, leaving Eun Tak by herself. Then she cried/sobbed in grief. HOLY SHIT. If that isn’t best actress material, then I don’t know what it is. KGE’s cry will make you feel as if you lost your own lover too. For all the tragedy that Sunny/Reaper’s story had, this Eun Tak/Kim Shin moment tops everything in this show. A climax indeed, to take some article’s description of this episode. Every single moment was necessary to culminate into this. We’ve definitely been set up for heartbreak.

While we still have three episodes left, this one will stay with me for a very very long time. Now, let us all grieve.

P.S. Kim Shin's crying face as he read the contract he had with Eun Tak? That's me now until the next episode.

[lifewithoutmeds]

march 27th

so much happens these days that i literally need to look at my calendar to figure out what’s been going on.

so last i wrote seemed to be last wednesday?  don’t really remember much of what happened.  per Yelp, i seem to have gone to meet the boy in burbank at The Blue Room at or around 8:30 and i have a few beers while I wait and then have a few beers while he’s there.  i’m my new weirdly affectionate self, hugging him, and constantly having my arm around him or touching his head like some new weirdo person.  we go out and smoke and meet people who smoke and they ask about us and he hugs me and says, “this is my best friend.”  i think afterward .... i think, shoot, i think we might’ve gone to SG.  i think his bud M was there so we go over and maybe have a few beers?  i don’t remember.  i do remember though as soon as we go in, this girl makes a beeline for me, and stands right next to me, slightly touching me while we sit and i awkwardly sort of nod and say hi and don’t know how to escape, as normally i’d be flattered but ahhh, i’m with a guy right now.  at some point she leaves and the boy talks to her and she sort of shrugs and says, “but she’s my type” and after that i’m kind of keeping an eye on her throughout the night.  right before we leave i bump into her in the bathroom and excuse myself for not having tipped her earlier and give her the rest of my money, which happens to only be like $3 or $4 and she unexpectedly leads over and kisses me briefly on the lips, and i am floored.  i am always floored by the lip kiss.  i awkwardly stumble away.

thursday....not sure what happens.  but i think friday i go to meet the boy for sushi in noho, and he wants to hang for a bit after, and we throw around some options before he reluctantly settled on SG again.  i was like, what’s the hesitation?  it’s nearby, it has cheap beer, and i think he was like, why do we always end up there, but whatever.

so we go, and we each get a pitcher of beer and things are rolling and i’m keeping my eye on the clock and it’s 7:30 and i want to be out by 8, before the 8 pm shift, partly to get him home, and in the event that the DJ is on the late shift, and right on cue, at 7:30 she walks in and strides right up to me and it takes me a second to register who she is and i get off my stool and she hugs me while saying, “hello, stranger.”  for a second there is an awkward pause and she excuses herself to go fix her hair, and the boy is staring at me and my staring into nothingness and notes that my hand is shaking and keeps asking, what’s wrong?  What’s wrong?!  i quickly drain my beer and we head out to the car just as she gets onto the stage, and i weepingly tell him things in the car, and he is pretty pissed.  i think he’s like, why would you bring me, a guy who likes you, to a place where you like a girl?  how rude is that?  which is true.  the DJ is texting me asking me where i went and when the boy leaves in a huff, shakily i head back to the bar and sit myself down, order another pitcher of beer, and sit down, ready to self-destruct.

we chat some, i see her dance out of the corner of my eye, she’s as good as i would have imagined, she checks in with me now and then, her bud nora arrives and i take a look and they go and sit at a table together.  i see her give a very sensual lap dance here and there.  and i’m drinking and meeting random guys and hours later, we’re all have a rollicking good time, and i’m friends with everybody, and they’re hugging me and giving me advice and all seems fine and dandy, and i see the girl from the other night, whom i will call Stripper #3, and i’m making eyes at her but she’s not approaching today for some reason, and by the end of the night a guy leans over to her and points to me and says something like, “i think we both have a crush on you.  let’s party tonight” or something but she’s like i can’t, i have this thing tomorrow.  at 2 am the bar closes and the bouncer ushers us out and i give her my phone number and the guys are like, ‘let’s keep this party going!  let’s keep drinking!’ and i’m like, “yheaaa!” and we’re all ready to go who knows where when it occurs to me that this is insanity and i suddenly take off running to my car, crouch down, and nap for two hours until i’m ready to drive home.

saturday i’m depressed out of my mind and can’t move.  the DJ texts and is asking if i will tell her what’s going on, and that people were worried about me, that coked up strangers were asking about me, and i sort of shrug and am like, whatevs, who cares.  i meet AL for breakfast and i tell her things, and she listens, wide-eyed, and i get alternately hysterical and very sad, and when she leaves, i feel extra depleted, feeling stupid and sad and drained and the boy is mad and the DJ is mad and Stripper 3 hasn’t called.  that night i ask if the DJ wants these doggy bags i had bought for Stripper 2 and she says ok so i drive over to the valley and sit for a while with my club soda until i see her and push them over to her.  we chat for a few minutes before i leave, feeling sad and stupid and that so much had been wasted.

sunday fortunately i have plans to go to church with lanz.  we meet up, go to church, eat indian food for lunch, and walk to old town where she buys some shoes and i let her read the letter and she hugs me and cries and says to remove the last two paragraphs and don’t give it to the DJ, that she doesn’t deserve it.  she goes home, and i go home, and i’m sad and lonely and things feel stupid.

monday i sleep in till nearly noon, pretty depressed out of my mind, and then clean some and then decide i need to see people so i go to Damon’s and order a prime rib and get super shit faced on mai tai’s.  i then proceed to drunkenly text the DJ, forward her the damn letter, text DL, take a call from the boy, and then text the DJ all the way home, even falling flat on my face as i held the phone, and then upon arriving home, GY calls and i lose my shit, sobbing, wailing, unraveling, confessing, and having what could be called a nervous breakdown.

today at work, exhausted, yawning, and trying to stay awake as per usual, i get concerned follow up texts from the GY, and now even in the library i get a series of angry, frustrated texts from the lanz, as apparently GY had texted her urgently at 11:30 last night, trying to figure out how best to help me.  they all want me to stop going to these places, to stop spending my time and money there, to stop chasing strippers who don’t want me.  makes sense.  but.  i’ve got a new crush.  and i want to see her one more time.  it’s stupid.  but i do.  and i’m waiting on facebook’s update so i can see if she’s there tonight, because if she is, then i will be too, and then i’ll stop.  because i know it’s not right, but i just want to see her one last time.