#i got my first animation job!! even tho i was hospitalized before i could finish it SIGH

[sailorsunshine]

i may not have accomplished much of anything this year but i was finally able to move out on my own and create a safe home for myself and honestly that’s more than i could have ever asked for

[kyuponstories]

Hey so I'm interested in knowing more about Oh Coffee Boy. Like what's the plotline and how'd you come up with it. (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆

YAAAY, an OCB ask!! 🥹❣️I appreciate your interest, love! 💞

This is a bit long, so buckle up lol. 🤠

I came across a post here on Tumblr a few years ago (on an different account). @one-time-i-dreamt, to be exact, where people submit dreams that they've had. I can't find the exact post, but I wrote it down in my notebook to never forget lol:

"I got hired for a job at McDonald's in the next town over, but I took a wrong turn & ended up at a maid cafe themed McDonald's instead. 'The manager was like, 'Well, we can just transfer you to this store since you're here and we're understaffed.' They called up the store I was going to work at without asking if I wanted to transfer."

I thought that'd make a hilarious plot line for a show, and it's like the great Toni Morrison said, "If there's a book you want to read and it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." Even tho this will be an animated series, the point remains!

My goal is to make mainly Black (girl) joy stories where brown & dark-skinned Black girls are the leads in multiple fun genres like rom-com, adventure, fantasy, etc. And because I'm an introvert, most of my MCs end up being so as well. In the beginning, the idea was for a slice of life about an introverted Black girl finally working up the courage to get a job after years of social anxiety (gotta make it hit home a bit lol). Thought it'd be a really cute SOL, but never really added onto it.

Fun fact! My grandmother and brother argue every morning. I kid you not. It's always because my grandmother loves coffee. So he makes her a cup of coffee every morning. The problem? She doesn't always finish it.... usually never. But what she will do is NOT care about it until it gets cooler. And then ask him to heat it up for her multiple times throughout the day! 🙃 So big bro complains about it. When my mom was in the hospital, we told the nurse about how grandma is with coffee. Gave her a good laugh when I put the stubborn woman on speaker so she could hear firsthand how it was the first thing she mentioned. 😂

Now, at some point, we starting calling my brother "coffee boy". My mother rarely drinks coffee, and usually drinks tea. At some point, he basically declared "If I'm coffee boy, then you're tea girl", so now he always makes the two of them coffee when they want it while I'm over their tea lol. The funniest thing about it is that mama rarely wants tea, but grandma always wants coffee. 😭At one point, I started dramatically singing "Oh, coffee boy" like the song "Oh, danny boy". And then it clicked! Like magic! ⭐ The title, the main character, his household. My family thought I was CRAZY when I ran upstairs and started writing it out lol. But yeah, those two are the inspo behind OCB! ☕As well as the dreamer who submitted that dream, of course (s/o to you, whoever you are! ✌🏾)

Just realized that I've never really made a summary/bio for this show LOL. Basically, Akachi is a guy in his early 20s who lives with his grandparents who he helps manage a barn with. He hates coffee, a drink he's forced to make every morning for his coffee-loving grandmother. Not only is it disgusting (which my brother also thinks lol), but his grandmother never finishes it. When Akachi takes an Uber to show up to his new job in the city, he shows up at the right restaurant, but the wrong location! Before he can object, however, he's transferred to the understaffed MegDonald's branch (spelled intentionally lol). Turns out Akachi is not only a great chef, but a coffee-making expert that has all of their customers coming in for a cup.... much to his dislike. To top it off, his co-workers are incredibly goofy and cosplay every day! Will the boy survive working at this new job?

Thank you for this ask again, really appreciate your interest in Oh, Coffee Boy! 🥰Writing it is so much fun, hope it'll be even more fun to watch! ❣️

[swearwolf-writes]

Teen Wolf 2020

it’s 2020 and corona is a bitch :) the wolves might not be able to get sick but they still wear their masks bcs they could still be carriers so *clears throat* WEAR YOUR MASKS Y’ALL!! this is very much a no one dies/everybody lives au :)

[CROSSPOSTED ON: AO3]

Scott McCall - age 26

this cute nerd. he studied veterinary medicine which takes about 4 years so he graduated in 2017 and works as Deaton’s partner at the Beacon Hills Animal Clinic. he’s dating Isaac (bcs he came back from France with Argent, remember) and Kira (she came back from the Skinwalkers in 2019 and has a proper grasp on her powers). sorry scalia shippers but it’s not really my thing-

Stiles Stilinski - age 26

NERD. anywho- FBI dork became an agent in 2019 whoo and lives in DC with Lydia, Derek and Braeden. he’s dating Lydia and Derek and things are pretty chill - he yells at arseholes who refuse to wear their masks bcs ‘it’s uncomfortable :(’ like bite me karen no one cares

Derek Hale - age 32

grumpy sourwolf actually knows how to smile!! who knew- he lives in DC with Stiles, Lydia and Braeden most of the time but he and Braeden travel often to fight butthead hunters who need to mind their own business. he’s dating Stiles and he and Braeden are engaged - it’s cute and they’re being dorks about it. he likes to complain that they’d be married by now if it wasn’t for freakin covid

Lydia Martin - age 26

your local genius banshee~ 🥰 still awesome, still a harbinger of death - so yk, the usual. bcs she had extra credits she started as a junior studying maths and graduates in 2016!! 🎉🎉 she moved to DC after she got some money together while working as a tutor - the quartet splits rent (but usually it’s just Stiles and Lydia splitting it bcs the other two don’t technically have jobs and yk Derek is an unsub and Stiles is in the FBI which Lydia finds hilarious). she teaches adults in the local community college and helps supernatural folk on the dl - she runs a grief counselling service at the same place for people who’ve lost someone. she’s also trying to get a degree to become a high school maths teacher and it’s a lot but she’s got it handled.

Allison Argent - 24

accidentally brought back from the dead by the Dread Doctors. everyone could not stop crying bcs she’s back baby!! she died in 2011 age 17 and came back in 2012 so she wasn’t dead long thankfully - wanted to kill Theo bcs he messed with her pack even he did bring her back. she’s a chimera now lads- she needed a kidney transplant when she was young which was why she was kept away from the family business. she was a werewolf-werejaguar chimera like Hayden but stayed a chimera. Chris and Isaac stayed home and bcs she and Isaac never actually broke up, they kept dating - she found it funny that Isaac and Scott were dating at this point,, meanwhile they were panicking wildly :) she went back to school and said she wasn’t dead, just in the hospital for a really long time. she joined Liam’s year and again, wanted to very badly throw hands when she found out about Monroe- she’s the coolest, like she has claws and bow and arrows

Malia Tate - 26

our girl went to France as promised and hooked up with plenty of hot French people *le eyebrow wiggle* she found her beau there in France and it was not a love at first sight sort of thing - she wanted to punch them in the face,, in their very pretty face- she was basically doing her own thing when she smells them, another bloody werewolf and like don’t get me wrong, she’s fond of werewolves, but bloody hell do they cause trouble. and they smell her too and it’s like ‘eh-?’ bcs werecoyotes aren’t so common as werewolves. and they’re just there in a club in Bordeaux and they’re sniffed each other out and they kinda just pause like huh- bcs they were were not expecting to see someone that pretty- but that’s not the point of course- they pretend to leave together and as soon as they’re out of sight from humans, they start fighting in an alley, as you do. it ends up with the wolf tasting the wall bcs who the hell are you- once they figure out they’re both just there to party, things chill and they see more of each other, naturally, it’s all just a big coincidence and doesn’t mean anything. and then they’re dancing and it doesn’t mean anything. and then they’re sleeping together and it doesn’t mean anything. except it does. and they don’t know when it became normal to cuddle or wake up together or have breakfast together but it just was. and when the cute werewolf (who I still don’t have a name for-) plans on moving to the next place, she comes with. the pack are happy for her and they usually road trip from place to place so when the pack comes to visit in Prague? it’s fun to say the least

Kira Yukimura - age 25

she came back from the Skinwalkers in 2019 and she and Allison became good friends. she kept going with school from home and is dating Scott. her powers are strong and when she sneezes bcs yk pollen or wtv, there’s sparks and it’s hilarious and Scott finds it adorable. she doesn’t really know what she wants to do yet and that’s cool of her

Erica Reyes - age 25

they thought she was dead- think again bitch, she slowed her heart rate down so they couldn’t hear and everyone thought she was dead - when the alpha pack got rid of her body and Allison found it, she told her to tell the others to pretend she was dead bcs of the Alpha pack - they beat the Alpha pack but she and Boyd hid with Satomi’s pack while that went down and helped generally after. she kept going with school and bcs she dipped for a while, ended in Liam’s year and eventually became a nurse in 2017. she works with Melissa McCall and joins for family dinner a lot.

Isaac Lahey - age 25

went to France with Chris Argent but kept going with his studies at Chris’ insistence. was dating dating Scott before he had to leave with Chris but they didn’t actually break up,, it was more ‘i’ll miss you :(’. came back to Beacon Hills when Chris came to help with the deadpool business and stayed bcs of Allison and Scott 💞 his studies were mostly uninterrupted and he studied law, becoming a lawyer in 2020!! so at least one good thing came of this infernal year- he wants to specialise in family law.

Vernon Boyd III - age 26

yea no, Derek didn’t mercy kill him bcs he was fine :) de nile ain’t just a river lads he went into hiding with Satomi’s pack and came back when the Alpha pack was dealt with. went back to school and ended up in Liam’s year. he joined the air force when he was 18 and finished his rotc training stuff in 2018 and it’s pretty alright - he’s a pilot but was discharged in 2019 bcs someone started with him and bcs they were a superior, he couldn’t say shit. so now he likes to wear ‘fuck the army’ and ‘fuck the air force’ shirt. he has mad respect for the people out there but the people in charge? fuck em

Aiden Steiner - age 27

he lives bitches 😎 Ethan had a silver chain on so he plugged the wound with it - it counteracted the oni poison and the chain started melting into the would (he had mild silver poisoning but he was fine). school was normal and now he’s an engineer, living in Beacon Hills. he and Ethan left for London for a while bcs that town was crazy af. while Ethan was very happy there, he missed home so went back. he got an online ordination and learnt Japanese bcs why not

Ethan Steiner-Whittemore - age 27

got married!! whoo 🎉🎉 Aiden officiated (this is 2018 btw) and it was cute. the whole pack was there and the wedding was in London bcs as quaint as Beacon Hills is 

‘i’m only planning on getting married once so this is gonna be awesome’ - Jackson Whittemore, 2017

he’s dramatic but yk Ethan was a blushing mess bcs ~life partners~ he’s soft y’all. he’s a primary school teacher in London and they’re part of the South London pack.

Jackson Steiner-Whittemore - age 25

also got married!! whoo 🎉🎉 ngl he’s lowkey a trophey husband/sugar hubby bcs he’s rich af - he does business with his dad but it’s not a big workload. he and Aiden want to adopt and yk being rich will hopefully help

Theo Raeken - age 25

ah yes, the absolute nightmare bi enby returns. (i hc him with he/they pronouns ✌🏽 as you do) so he successfully gained Scott’s trust and is part of the pack - yay! he and Allison have a sort of ‘you’re a bitch’ ‘no u’ *saves each others lives* relationship at this point - it took a while for Allison to warm up to him but he did save Liam’s butt several times so,, anywho, he’s still a werewolf-werecoyote chimera and he’s cool with it. he went to an online school and got his high school diploma - Liam then snuck him into the school and he signed the bookshelf bcs yea he didn’t graduate there but he did go there and now he’s graduated so yay. speaking of, he and Liam are dating, yea ik we been knew. they started dating in 2014 and Theo now works waiting tables at a local restaurants bcs he lives with Liam and his parents (you best bet that when they found out he was living in his car, they made him move in so he pays rent, not at their request but his). that was till 2017 and they moved out into an apartment together. Theo chips in on rent but it usually ends up being split 60:40 (Liam: Theo) so he cooks and cleans a lot,,, mainly bcs Liam can’t cook and does laundry like a maniac-

Liam Dunbar - age 24

this werepup is just as chaotic as always - he cannot be trusted with laundry bcs he doesn’t split colours from whites :) honestly it makes me wanna cry a lil bcs he can’t even fry eggs either- he has Theo to cook for him tho so that’s all good. he’s a history tutor for the high school students bcs he likes history and he knows the pain of high school- *shudder* he got an online Spanish and TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) degree and is now teaching at Beacon Hills High but yk his first year teaching is all online bcs 2020-

Mason Hewitt - age 23

he’s Emissary to the pack when they don’t have Deaton *wipes tear* he’s all grown up- he went to UCLA and majored in biophysics and minored in LGBTQ studies (graduated 2017). he lived on campus (kept the bat next to his bed lmao) and videochatted with Liam almost everyday - he would visit almost every weekend even tho it’s a 6 and half drive but hey. he got an apartment near the uni where he and Corey lived after he graduated. they’ve been engaged since 2018 (it was actually the day after the Steiner-Whittemore wedding). he’s helping work on a new drug delivery system and they moved closer to Beacon Hills (Sacramento)

Corey Bryant - age 24

he also went UCLA, studying comparative literature and LGBTQ studies, and lived on campus (for 3 years before moving in with Mason in 2017) before graduating in 2018. they’re engaged and moved to Sacramento. he’s writing a novel that will thankfully have nothing to do with their confusing ass lives

Cora Hale - age 28

lesbian queen *bows* still part of her pack in Ecuador, South America - she’s got a lady lover who I call Rosa (affectionately nicknamed Rosalita). they met when she first got there age 12 (Rosa being 13 at the time). Rosa taught her Spanish  and made her feel like part of the pack - after all the Alpha pack stuff, when she went back with Derek and Peter, she didn’t realise how much she’d missed them- how much she’d missed her. Derek asks if that’s her girlfriend and she’s like ‘wha- o.o’ and Rosa just goes ‘yup - nice to finally meet you guys’. she still visits DC to see Derek and Beacon Hills to see Erica and Isaac. even tho she lives in a different continent, Peter still looks out for her, sending anonymous donations in Talia’s name to the areas surrounding her pack’s territory

Brett Talbot - 24

*singsongs* ~he did not die~ the car swerved out of the way and the pack took him to Deaton who burnt the poison out of him (it was a long and painful process but he’s fine y’all). he’s the new lacrosse coach at Devenford Prep and he and Liam have a (mostly) friendly rivalry :) he’s a single pringle not bcs of lack of dates but just bcs he hasn’t found the one yet

Lorilee Rohr - age 22

also did not die :) she finished high school (2015) and went on to studying at UC Berkeley (art practice and theatre and performance studies, major and minor), graduating in 2018. she and Brett moved once he reached age 18. she makes and sells art from home

Nolan Holloway - age 25

after proving himself, same as Theo, he was eventually accepted into the pack. he and Gabe were dating and that’s that so he did mourn him for a long while. he works with hunters on the dl, trying to stop them hunting the supernaturals - he’s flipped 23 away from the dark side by 2020. he and Liam are friends which took a while but Nolan has his back (like there was that one time someone from the lacrosse team said they weren’t gonna ‘follow some mongrel’ so he reminded them that Liam was co-captain and if they didn’t wanna follow him, they could kindly fuck off :)) he’s a simp and has a raging crush on Brett like me too bruh

~the end~ for now

[fantastic-rambles]

Ahhh yaknow what you’re right. I just went back and looked over some of the rod, and I didn’t see Langa explicitly agree to not to skate with Adam. He promised that he wouldn’t quit skating with Reki, but he only acknowledged Reki’s warning to not be reckless. It actually makes a bunch of sense why Langa would be confused by the distancing and argument. I see now why you were upset with Reki’s behavior. It feels kind of like a ‘secret contract’ sorta thing where Reki got upset over a broken rule Langa never realized he was supposed to abide by. And not only is that unfair like you said, but it flipped the situation as if Langa was being untrustworthy to his word when really Reki didn’t trust Langa not to quit skating with him just because of danger/injury. And especially since I’ve seen people make solid arguments for Langa being neurodivergent or neurodivergent-coded, it’s really not a stretch at all for him to see the situation like you did. Langa most likely saw the issue as solely reckless behavior leading to quitting. But clearly Reki’s own jealousy/insecurities added Langa preferring better skaters as potentially leading to them not skating together without ever discussing it until Langa was blindsided during the argument. I would’ve looked a better apology from Reki where he fully explained why he was upset when they were making up. It’s human for his feelings on the issue to change, but that should’ve been better expressed to Langa. Although Langa did a great job of accurately smoothing over what was bothering Reki without that. Maybe that’ll be rectified if he apologizes to Miya. I think Miya deserves one especially since Reki physically shoved him after he opened up about why his actions were such a sore spot for him. I actually thought Miya’s words would help Reki see the other side of things so seeing Miya get pushed was like a “Bro wtf??” moment for me. Again it’s understandable that people act out when they’re angry and Reki was obviously already struggling with his emotions, but it should be acknowledged again how wrong that was. Boy are you opening my eyes to a lot of problematic stuff lol.

Also, I’m very curious as to why you hate Shadow. For me, it’s because I can’t move past that comment in ep 1. I know ppl brush it off as just an (unnecessarily misogynistic) act for his persona, but that woman literally didn’t say anything to him and he insulted her for no reason by using her body as trophy to be defaced if he won. Ew. And just because he’s super nice to the flower shop lady, he does not get a pass. If he’s only respectful to women he’s attracted to and jumps at any other the opportunity to degrade women, he’s still a misogynist. And I’m pretty sure that he already new flower shop lady when the series started, so I don’t think you can argue that his character developed to be better towards women as a whole because of her or that he wouldn’t do something like that again at this point in the story. Especially since the goal of proving yourself as a “strong man” has not historically worked out to men being compassionate with women. (Tho within a vacuum devoid of his other actions, I can appreciate his commitment to a makeup routine)

Oh! And I would totally wanna read that fanfic if you write it!! I’m not even as gung-ho about Adam going to jail as most fans and Adam-haters tbh. Mainly because it’d probably be for political corruption via money bribes which is already kinda common and I don’t think the show has stated him to be doing anything particularly bad with it I don’t think so?? Like it seems to be mainly for the purpose of keeping S secret which is indeed a waste of money and effort when he could just buy it, but on the other hand, there doesn’t seem to be any ill consequences on the citizens the politician represents. So yea, it’s illegal so the jail time is technically deserved. But also like... no harm no foul🤷‍♀️ If he would be getting charged for assaulting other skaters than I definitely think that’s fair, but I doubt that’ll happen in the show just because I feel like no one will actually say anything when the time comes partially due to the shock of his arrest if they’re even involved. And I mean, Cherry was pissed at Adam for getting skaters hurt but still rolled out the hospital and joked like he was fine, so I just don’t particularly see anyone calling him out on it to the point of it being apart of his sentencing. The end of ep 11 with Cherry and Joe arguing about one of them going against Adam just doesn’t sound like condemning him to battery charges to me XD

But yaknow I’ve been loving hurt/comfort type fics lately, so I’d be really interested in seeing Adam truly work and change himself for some type of redemption in that setting. I can see hitting rock bottom as being really good for him given it may provide a reprieve from having to manage his image. Adam is underrated in complexity so it’s always cool when people try to flesh him out more and dive into his inner world. And of course Tadashi is kind of my fave (if you couldn’t tell) so I love anything healing for him as well :)

Yep, I was majorly pissed at Reki for how he treated Langa and Miya. His behavior is absolutely problematic. Not as bad as Adam, obviously, but with everything I’ve said and you’ve realized... yeah. I’m glad he made up with Langa and will probably make up with Miya, but it doesn’t invalidate everything he’s done before. Yes, he’s still an immature teenager, but I don’t think he realizes how messed up his behavior was, even after making up with Langa (the resolution seems to be based on him accepting that he’s not an ace skater, rather than recognizing how toxic his behavior was), so I’m still not satisfied. But hey, it’s probably just me being hyperfixated on trivial details that nobody else even cares about. /shrug

(I’m glad to know that I wasn’t misinterpreting the “promise,” or lack thereof, though!)

And I have two major problems with Shadow. My first--and biggest--problem is, as you’ve pointed out, that he’s an enormous misogynist. At “S,” people have the freedom to be exactly who they are beneath the facades that they show to the world. For example, Adam is someone desperately searching for someone who can understand him, not the perfectly put-together politician Shindo Ainosuke. Cherry and Joe are more true to their “real life” selves, but there are differences in their behavior on the track and off. And then there’s Shadow, the overcompensating “strong man” who threatens to make a guy tattoo “Dumpster Slut” over his girl’s name. So I 100% agree with everything you said about Shadow. He’s a chauvinistic pig.

The second problem is that I honestly think his actions when he’s racing are worse than Adam’s, and the only reason it’s not made out as such is because he’s the buttmonkey rather than the villain. I believe that, as problematic as Adam’s antics are, he does not intend to cause severe physical harm to his opponents. I’ve discussed this idea in more detail in other posts, but in short, even in the most extreme case--Cherry’s--his injuries were far lighter than they would have been if Adam had seriously wanted to hurt him. Death, coma, etc. were all highly probable outcomes of that situation, so the only reason they didn’t happen was because Adam was holding back. Or anime logic. But even anime logic can only stretch so far. And against lesser opponents like Reki, he generally holds onto them to ensure that they don’t accidentally hurt themselves when they’re panicking.

Of course, Shadow doesn’t intend to cause severe physical harm to his opponents either, but he does not exert any control over the situation after he throws fireworks at his opponent or shines a laser in their eyes. We’ve twice seen his opponents fall off the course as a direct result of his actions: Reki in the first race, Harry in the quarterfinals. They could have just as easily fallen off the cliff or slammed into a wall (at full speed) and been badly injured. If Shadow were an actual villain, I fully believe that he would have an actual body count of people who died racing against him (as opposed to Adam’s trail of injured opponents). So it bothers me that people shrug off what Shadow does while screaming for Adam’s death.

As for the scandal subplot... I’m *pretty* sure it’s a lot more serious than Adam bribing the police to leave “S” alone. I think he’s actually involved in some majorly shady/illegal activities politically. Like, in Episode 7, when the other Diet member gets pulled over, arrested, and has his house searched... there’s no way that has anything to do with “S.” At the very least, the two of them were collaborating on something really bad, something serious that Adam lied about under oath, and that’s enough for Adam’s staff to worry about what’s going to happen, especially Tadashi. We don’t know what it is specifically, but it’s definitely a lot more than just passing out bribes to hide “S.”

Lol, I’ll have to see how it goes. Probably won’t start it until after the anime finishes at the very least so I can see how it turns out for Adam and Tadashi, plus I have another half dozen WIPs at the moment and nowhere near enough time to work on them all. xD

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #286

“has he lost his mind? can he see or is he blind? can he walk at all, or if he moves, will he fall?”

Do you prefer having carpets or hardwood floors? Hardwood floors. Easier to clean and just looks better imo. When was the last time you took a bath? Is this something you do often or do you prefer taking showers? Not since I was a kid, probably. I don't like baths; it feels dirty. What’s your favorite way to style your hair? Do you do this hairstyle often or is it too much hassle for you? "I can’t style it any way." <<<< Mine is too short, too. Do you have a real or artificial tree at Christmas? We always use artificial. The mess isn't worth it. What’s your favourite snack to make when you watch a movie? Popcorn, of course. Do you prefer the Beatles or the Rolling Stones? The Rolling Stones. The only Beatles' song off the top of my head that I enjoy is "Hey, Jude," while there's a handful of Stones' songs I like. When was the last time you played a game of Monopoly? Did you play until the end or did everyone get fed up and start arguing? I'm pretty sure the last time was the PlayStation version at Jason's house. I don't recall if we finished it or not. Have you ever won money on a scratch card or the lottery? How much did you win and what did you spend it on? Maybe like, $10 or so? Mom or Dad would buy one for the hell of it rarely, and they always let us kids scratch it off because we thought it was fun for whatever reason. Have you been on a plane before? Where was the last place you travelled to? Yeah, multiple times. I went to Illinois last to stay with Sara for a couple weeks. Would you rather do a wordsearch or a crossword? Wordsearch. What’s your favorite colour of skittles? Red, duh. I always save those for last. Do you have a favorite TV detective (eg. Sherlock, Poirot)? What is it that you like about them? Does Dean Winchester count? I loved him when I was into Supernatural. He was so charismatic, funny, a wonderful big brother, and don't forget hot as fuck lmao. Were you ever in any positions of responsibility when you were in school? No. Do you need to wear glasses or contacts? How long have you needed to wear those for? I'd had glasses since high school. I'm blind as a mf. Do you talk in your sleep? Yes. Ocean or pool? Pool. Cleaner and less risk. I'll swim in either, though. What's your favorite song at the moment? "DEGRADE" by "3TEETH." I've been hooked on them lately. Ever met anyone famous? No. Do you feel that you've had a truly successful life? *blinks* Have you been in love? Absolutely. Where do you wish you were? Sara's would be great. Last thing you spent lots of money on? My Markiplier tattoo. Favorite restaurant? Olive Garden. What is your favorite kind of car? I really dunno. I don't know almost any car by name. I like slick-looking ones, though. AKA expensive ones lmao. What would you honestly do if you had a million dollars? Pay off a lot of things, first of all. For both myself and Mom. I know too well I'd spend a good deal on tats, but I'm quite sure I'd be disciplined enough to know what's more important. Are you more of a shy or outgoing person? I am VERY shy. Would you rather listen to new music or the classics? I tend to listen to music I already know. I go hunting for new bands and songs too rarely... Can you do a cartwheel? lol hell no Do you currently feel any sadness? I always do. Do you always respond to chain letters? I literally never do. I don't care what it's about. They're annoying. Do you spend too much time online? My life is online. It's depressing, and very. I usually don't know what to do with myself if I don't have access to it. What is your biggest annoyance? Right now, people not complying to COVID restrictions to help end this madness. Are you currently in a relationship? No. What do you like to do for fun? Watch YouTube, play WoW, write, read, take pictures... Not a lot. I've been stuck with anhedonia for years; not a lot of things give me any sort of pleasure, even the aforementioned things sometimes. Can you type without looking at the keyboard? Yeah. Do you ever feel like people use you? I've sure as shit felt it before. What role does religion play in your life? None. It's honestly a place of bitterness. Can you sleep with your eyes open? Noooooooo, that shit creeps me out. How often (if ever) do you use moisturiser? Pretty much never... but I need to considering my skin is dry as the Sahara. Have you had any of your wisdom teeth removed? What was the reason? (eg. infection, impaction, lack of space). No. What was the reason for your last hospital visit? I visited Mom after her surgery. Do you use a laptop, desktop, tablet or phone to take your surveys? Laptop. Do you have any debt? If so, are you on top of paying it all back? College debt, for sure. I dropped out three different times. No, I'm nowhere near on top of it. How often do you travel by public transport? Never. Do you have an Instagram account? If so, how often do you post on there and what kind of things do you post? I have three, haha. I don't post on any regularly enough... but I use my first one most. My "main" one is my primary photography one, and I have a second photography account for my darker/roadkill/"vulture culture" work. Lastly I made one for my pets... yes, I decided to be one of those people lmao. Are you close to your extended family? Do you wish you were closer? Definitely not, but we want to try to get closer. In Grammy's last days, she shared that she wished we were more "together" so much. Do you prefer to give your pets human names or not? Definitely not human names, at least usually. Have you ever used a fire extinguisher? Would you know how to use one without reading the instructions? No; I doubt it. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever had to deal with at your job? When I worked, impatient customers. What was the last thing you used your mobile phone for? Listening to music. While my laptop is kaput, I'm using an old one, but it's super slow so I'm just using my phone for music and videos. Did you used to play The Sims? What version or expansion pack was your favorite one to play? I loved the animals one; I went through a period of playing that a loooot. There was also an African wildlife one that I had, but that one was pretty boring, honestly. I never got into the human ones. What quality do you value most highly in others? Probably compassion. Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? Mom. What was your best find from a flea market, garage sale, ebay or thrift? I got an AWESOME shipwreck w/ a sea serpent nightlight from the flea market once. What is one selfish thing you tend to do? Uhhhh I'm unsure. I try not to be selfish. Have you ever written a letter to a soldier? No, but man does this make me think of "Travelin' Soldier." I love that song so much, man. Always have. What do you use batteries for the most often? Ha, it used to be my mouse, but now that I have one that plugs up to the computer to charge, idk. What’s the smallest thing you’ve ended a relationship over? "I don’t think I’ve ended any kind of relationship over something small." <<<< Would you rather order a starter (appetiser) or a dessert? Or would you be able to manage a full three courses? It really depends on what I want and how hungry I am. If I had the first two though, I almost certainly couldn't handle a dessert. Have you or a member of your family been diagnosed with COVID yet? My older sister had it very badly to the point she wound up in the ER. It's no fucking joke. Aside from the necessities (eating, breathing etc.) what is something you do every single day, without fail? I was going to say “get on the computer” or something of the sort, but what if I don’t have access to technology that day for whatever reason? In that case, I’d think of Jason to some point. There isn’t a day that passes when he’s not lurking in my head somewhere. Is there anything you enjoy that’s considered childish for your age? What is it? Roleplaying. Some shows. I’m sure there’s plenty others. How many times a day do you use the bathroom? A LOT. If I’m drinking something, a lot of the time, I almost immediately have to go pee after a single sip. Do you need caffeine to wake up in the morning? What’s your drink of choice? I wouldn’t say I NEED it, no. I do regularly have my Mountain Dew in the morning in place of coffee tho lmao. That’s out of habit, though. Do you live somewhere with lots of livestock or wild animals? Livestock, absolutely. Wild animals, sure, so long you’re not right in a city. Well, even then, roadkill isn’t rare. Would you rather live somewhere rural or urban? RURAL. Mom and I are both having trouble adjusting to living in the suburbs. The only good thing is we’re closer to everything. Is there anything (a hobby, for example) that’s guaranteed to always make you feel better when you’ve had a bad day? Not absolutely without fail. If you’re struggling with your mental health, who are you most likely to open up to, or would you bottle it up instead? I VERY rarely bottle it up. That is so unhealthy. I confide in my mom, usually. What room of your house do you spend the most time in? Is this through choice or necessity? Ugh, my bedroom… but yeah, it’s choice. I COULD be in the kitchen or living room on the laptop, I just don’t want to for privacy’s sake. I’m waiting for the extra bedroom to be cleaned out to turn that into like my “dayroom” or “office.” I’m putting a desk in there, lots of motivational stuff, just things to inspire me to work. I NEED away from my bed. I only want to use it to sleep. If you have pets, do you snuggle with them when you’re having a bad time? Does it make you feel better? Well, it’s hard to “snuggle” with a snake, but I’ll still take her out sometimes and she gets comfortable against me for warmth. I do however definitely snuggle with my cat Roman, because he’s a total cuddlebug and super affectionate with me. How would you rate Stephen King as a writer? Shockingly, I haven’t read a novel by him. However, knowing stories he’s written and his genre, I think I’d absolutely love him. What movie are you looking forward to? Oh goodness, I have no idea. I’m totally out of touch with movies. Have you been to see an opera? No, they don’t appeal to me. What do you wish that you knew with more certainty? My career success. Of the following things, which would you most like to have more of? Drink, dreams, bed, drugs, lust, lies, hate, love, fear, fun, pain, flesh, stars, smiles, fame, sex: Love, of course. Would you ever consider working for the government? Absolutely not. What are the best and worst television channels? I don’t need to even watch television to tell you Discovery is best. Idk about worst. If you had a magical pencil and everything you drew became real what would you draw? Hm… if I drew like, Earth overlayed with a peace symbol, would that cause world peace? What would you like to touch? A wild (well, habituated) meerkat. Meerkats are just… so important in my life. Without them, I wouldn’t have met people who’ve greatly affected and even changed my life. I know the day I (hopefully) hold or pet one will be one where I cry. Does anything you own glow in the dark? I don’t know. Would you rather ride a dragon or a unicorn? Who the hell would answer “unicorn” to this???? Dragons are so so so superior. Can you make a balloon animal? No. How many glasses of water do you drink each day? Rarely more than two, if even that. What do you like in a poem, accessibility, crypticness, or something in between? I guess of these options, leaving some cryptic space, room for the reader to imagine. What I cherish most in poetry though is descriptiveness, but not to an excessive point where it’s just hard to understand. Who do you find yourself in constant conflict with? Why the conflict? MYSELF. I’m just so mad at and disappointed with myself. What subjects do you refuse to talk about? Why are you hiding from them? I mean, none, really. With some people I’m willing to talk about whatever topic. Greatest black and white film: Idk, I can’t recall enough. Greatest film three hours or longer: Troy. I adore that movie. I should watch it again…

[lovehatinganime]

BNHA role swap. The Villains are Yuuei Students: Shigaraki Tomura Edition

“I'm going to ignore the fact that Shigaraki would be called Shimura Tenko because I really don't like that name” this was my first thought and then a whole fanfic plot idea came out of it. 

Nana Shimura, after a night with her lover, accidentally got pregnant. This dude is foreign or a special agent, making it impossible for him to stay around. Nana and him spoke about abortion or giving the baby away. It was honestly the cleverest idea. However, Nana decided to have the baby as a single mom in the very last minute. She didn't tell him not to ruin his career... and well, mostly because it was against what they had arranged. (I actually hate this scenario, but I had to take the father out of the picture and that`s the only explanation it ocurred to me). 

Everything went fine because she had help from a lot of people to raise her kid (you can choose male or female, is not relevant to the story). Thanks to this, she could still continue with her job as, you know, world saviour. Nana`s child grew, fell in love, married and planned to have his/her own family quite fast (the next Shimura generation is simply a normal person. One who, although having a good quirk, never took an interest in following his/her mother`s steps). Here is when things got twisted. Nana had made a lot of enemies during her hero service years and the bad guy who hated her most, villain All Might, attempted to murder her offspring. The police and pro heroes arrived when he was torturing the pregnant woman. It was precisely Nana herself who ´saved` her daughter/ daughter-in-law. The doctors did all they could but unfortunately it was not enough to prevent her from dying. However, they were able to take the baby out. After a month of intensive care in the hospital, Tenko was like any other baby. Nana had no doubt this time, she could not keep him. That`s why handman is yet called Shigaraki Tomura in this au of mine. 

Kurogiri, a retired hero who used to work with the police, infiltrating in multiple crime gangs; became his legal tutor. In the present, Shigaraki is a 16-year-old hero wannabe and Nana is a still alive, kicking ass and quite young grandmother. Very few people know they are related, but Tomura is well aware of the whole story. The heroine tries to visit him as much as she can, taking extreme precaution measures. They get along very well. 

All this is like the background info, so the actual plot would start when Villain All Might`s successors (probably Deku and some other canon 1-A classmates) find out Shiggy`s existence and want to end him; to finish the job that got their master into prison. Maybe they try to recruit him to psychologically torture Nana... or directly try to kill him, not sure. Any way, they fail the first time, so the thing would be that now Tomura and some others who get stuck in the jambo mambo (probably the ones who canonly form the league of villains) have to survive on the run. 

Author Note: What do you think? (scratches the back of her neck) I would love to know your opinions. I am writing concrete headcanons now, so you get more info about other characters and how I imagine them in this parallel reality.  I am hoping to make a series out of this if I have enough time and inspiration. It is also a bit of a high school AU, to be honest. I've tried not to make it look like a soup opera but it sometimes just happens. I live for the tea.

Tomura would be this kid who never gets over his early adolescence emo phase: his hair is always covering his face, never shows the slightest amount of his pale skin and seems allergic to sunlight; wears hoodies on summer what the actual fuck; loves dark themes/topics and favourite colour is black, total edgelord, bitter sense of humor, MRC and BVB...

A videogame freak unable to open a book and study a bit. 

Watches anime because he is too lazy for the manga. 

Him as a student:

One of his teachers (All for one), for some reason, puts great trust on him, naming him class representative. 

Tomura is not amused. 

Complies to his duties, yes, but with extreme exasperation. 

AFO also believes Shigaraki has great potential as a hero. Insists on the idea that if he got better at fighting, with his quirk, he could disintegrate any dangerous weapon a villain had before they could hurt anyone. 

Moreover, this sensei affirms a Tomura in good shape would be impossible to escape as he is able to destroy any hiding place or possible obstacle someone tries to throw into the persecution. 

Considering all this, AFO stars training Shigaraki. 

Tomura is not giving much, tho. 

He is a bit depressed because he is sure he is never going to be like his grandmother. He passes all his courses with shameful results. He cannot find the motivation to make a bigger effort and just keeps going that way until... 

 a) he has a life changing experience when he disintegrates a broken building wall that was about to crush some kids. Tomura realises his quirk is very useful, actually perfect for rescue missions. 

b) Chisaki Kai arrives, transferred from Shiketsu. Contrary to Tomura, he is handsome, polite and with a quirk only destroying to create. He hates his guts. Although it seems to be one of the few people, if not the only one doing so. Kai is starting to become the yueei candidate for top class pro hero. Shigaraki does not like this a single bit. In his eyes, Chisaki is all a facade. Underneath that cool appearance he is just a weirdo prick with a superiority god complex. Tomura is not going to let someone like that enter the same category as Nana Shimura. That`s how he gets his act together (hate is a pure emotion, best fuel ever haha Nah, I am just a sucker for the Overhaul x Tomura relationship. Not in a shippy way, more like rivals). 

His hero costume:

Hasn't designed one yet. 

He starts thinking about it after the aforementioned epiphany. 

Interactions: 

Dabi is his best (probably only) friend, even if they are all the time bickering. He belongs to one of the most famous families in the hero society, him being the outcast. Tomura thinks of him as a total rebel without a cause. Despite his bad behaviour, Dabi has a natural talent that makes him one of the best at yuuei academy. 

The only thing Shiggy enjoys about being clas representative is the status it gives him. 

He cannot help but smile when he sees people who dislike him or would not talk to him in any other circumstance, be obliged to face him and treat him with great respect. 

Tomura gives a gay vibe and is popular with guys. 

Much to his disappointment because he is actually more into girls (I am saying “more” and not making him straight because my open minded multishipper ass always tends to give characters the possibility of discovering they are indeed bisexuals). 

Sadly for him, the only one who shows to have such interest is Toga Himiko, a first year unicorn lover, who is way too obsessed with him. 

Dabi, instead of helping him get rid of her (idk if you are aware of how ShigaToga is actually my favourite romantic ship for both of them BUT without the villainous context i can't see Tomura having the slightest interest on Himiko), encourages Toga and has lots of fun. 

[blurrybethny]

Diary entry #8

So I’m gonna start this entry the same way I did in the last post.

So. MUCH. has. happened. like so much

okey, so since the last post, it’s almost been 2 years. Isn’t that crazy, 2 years. Well, the main reason for that has been F. So let’s just start where we left of.

So we’re in May or something now, and I finally finished my finals and got my results which where incredibly great. So with that result I had the chance to apply to the University of my dreams for the major Online-Media-Management. I thought that it would be great to make Instagram and Facebook to your Job. So meanwhile, I was still hanging out with F everyday, and since I already finished my finals, F was allowed to sleep at my place. 

Now we are at the end of June and it is my high school prom which I have been exited about, I had a beautiful long, blue dress and F was wearing a really handsome suit. The funny thing was the next morning at 6am we had to catch out flight to Tenerife. So F was drinking kind of a bit of alcohol at my prom and at like 1 or 2am we drove back to my place and slept for like an hour and then headed to the airport.

We’re in July now, for 10 days we had the greatest vacation ever. The whole time we did what we wanted, the explored the whole city with a scooter und took many pictures. On one of the days we went up to the biggest mountain of Tenerife and then WALKED down it. We were almost on the ground again, when we lost track of the path and kinda got lost. But at the end we came back home safely. On another day we drove to this cool looking beach, it was really windy tho and the sand was hurting so much when it hit you skin. On one of the last days we drove to an animal park, which was also a great experience.

Just 2 weeks later, me and my mom flew to Los Angeles for kind of a road trip with a bigger group of tourists. The trip was really great because we explored LA, Hollywood, Las Vegas, San Francisco and other nice towns and sights. That was really one of my biggest dreams to travel through a part of the US. Honestly, at the beginning of the trip I missed F so much, and we talked everyday on the phone. I also was getting really angry at him, because at the beginning he seemed like he didn’t miss me at all and he went to two parties where he was having fun and getting drunk. And I also got quite jealous, because I was scared he would make a mistake with another girl. 

So we’re in August now, and I came back home from the US trip and F and my dad picked us up from the air port and I was so excited so see him again. Also btw during the trip I got the message that they accepted me at the university I wanted to go to. So I was really happy about that. And because of that, now it was the time to search for a flat near the university, because it is actually 300km away from my hometown. The question that was upcoming now was, if F would move with me or not. And he said to me that he would move to anywhere I was. Which was really sweet of him and I was so happy about that. Now we had to search for a flat with at least 2 rooms. The search was kinda difficult because the flats where really expensive up there and especially in the middle of the city. However, my mom finally found one that was having a visitors day, so we drove up to the city and visited the flat. The flat already had furniture in it and it was not the prettiest. After that we kind of spontaneously drove to another flat that was also having a visitor day the same day, but there were no pictures on the internet. So we got there and the landlord was really nice, the little town was pretty and quiet and the flat was light and had no furniture in it. So we drove back home and the same day, the landlord from the first flat denied our request. However, the one from the second flat, sent my mom an email the next day, that the flat was ours!! So the renovating began. We drove up there on the weekends again to paint the walls and buy furniture. It was a lot of fun.

September. Not a lot happened in September, at least I can’t remember it. The only thing was, that it was my 19th birthday and I really wanted to go to a club, so we went to the club. I was wearing a really sexy dress obviously. Then we only stayed until 1am and left again because it was kinda boring and I felt a little sick. So, surprise surprise, on my birthday I was sick. 

October. At the beginning of October, a week before Uni officially started my major had a kick-off to get to know the other students and teachers. I was really confident in myself and ambitious to meet new people and hopefully make some friends. The first day, started not that bad, I picked up 3 other girls to drive to the meeting place. There I got to know other girls as well. I actually talked with almost everybody - which is not common for me - and still groups were already forming and I was left behind. I kind of thought that I was getting closer to some girls, but they always left and did other stuff and I’m just not the type of girl to run after everybody. So even there I was sitting alone sometime. And I was turning into an outsider more and more because me and another girl were the only ones not drinking. It was also annoying for me because they played all kinds of drinking games and that’s just not my thing. The next day was not so great because I just felt uncomfortable and left out. The evening was even worse, I felt even more left out, and I felt so sad because I missed F so much and I just wanted to be home. I was really glad when the 3 days were over. Overall, the start of the major was not bad, I kind of liked the subjects - however, I was still the odd one out all the time, because everybody already had a friends group and everybody is just shallow - I also started to get better friends with the other girl that was not drinking alcohol and we actually had quite a few things in common. I even invited her for a sleepover once and we initially wanted to watch Riverdale but we ended up talking about all kinds of stuff. Since then she is like the only one I really talk to. 

The following months until February were not really exciting. It was a really hard time for me because during the week I was all alone in my flat and I only saw F on the weekends and holidays. I literally cried every time we had to say goodbye. Also during that time, we had a lot of fights because when we talked over video call he usually fell a sleep which made me angry. And also when we saw each other on the weekends, he still had stuff to do or met up with people or even had to work Saturday and Sunday. This things always made me really angry and frustrated because I was all alone the whole time, I just wanted to spend time with him on the weekends and then he would have even less time. Sometimes we had really heavy fights where he really hurt me with his words. I know that I was not always fair to him and how I reacted, but he also never understood me. What I maybe have to add here is that, since F this one fight between me, S and F after the theatre the friendship between the two guys and between me and S was kind of over. So in August F told me that S was diagnosed with cancer. In the following months F and S started to talk again and meet up, which I was happy about because they have been friends for a long time and I felt really guilty that I was the reason for the breakup of this friendship. Also for new years eve we planned a bigger party because S wanted it to. It was not too bad, and I was really glad about the fact that S was talking to me again, because I missed being friends with him. In the following months there were ups and downs with his health.

February. Most of this month F and me spent in Thailand because his mom is from Thailand. However, this vacation was probably the worst one I have ever had. First, everything was just new to me and I met a lot of new people I could not talk to because they only spoke Thai, then another thing was that F did not really keep me in mind because this was his second home and everything was just normal for him but not for me. Especially the missing hygiene and the weird food. Also I got pretty sick with fever and everything and I had to go to the hospital for two days. After that I still stayed home a bit and F always wanted to go fishing at night. And I was just so frustrated about him because I was still exhausted from the sickness and he did not really pay attention to me and always got angry at me because I didn’t want to leave the house and I always started crying. So I basically did not leave the house for two days, when we finally got together again. The last few days were the best of the whole holiday because he finally adapted his actions to my needs. 

March. F finally moved in with me because his education for his job finally ended, so he had to find a job up here. It took quite a while but he finally found a job which he likes. Also I got the results of my first semester’s tests and they were all really great actually. 

April. We finally had our one year anniversary for which we went out on a date.

May. F, me and his family drove to Hungary for a weekend trip which was also okey. But I prefer the alone time between F and me. In Uni, I finally started to become kind of friends with two other girls, and we also formed a group for a school project, however, one of the girls quite uni during that.

June. This is the month of S’s death day. I was so sorry for F, because they were finally best friends again and it seemed to get better. I was also in shock because I just couldn’t image S not being here anymore, to never see him again. 

July. Not much happened in this month, except that I had my finals and I applied for a job that I could do over the summer break, and I actually got one in a cafe not far from my flat. Also the other girl I was talking about, that I thought I was also kinda getting friends with, switched to another major at the end of the semester. So again, I had no friends.

August. I worked the whole month in this cafe, and it was actually so much fun, because I did not have to think about school and it was just something different for me. Also my coworkers were really nice and funny.

September. I had my last week to work, and everybody was telling me how much they would miss me and that I was the best worker here for the summer and why I can't stay, and honestly this makes me so proud, because I never thought I would be so good in this job. After the last week in work, F and me drove to Hungary again because we wanted to have some vacation and also work on the house his parents have there. After we got back home, F and his friend B planned a kind of funeral for S, because since his death there has not been a funeral. The “party” was really nice and emotionally. For me it was really hard because until then I always tried to ignore my thoughts and feelings about this topic because I had to be strong for F. But at this day everything was just coming up. A few days later we drove back to our flat.

October. The 3rd semester of my university was starting. After only the first week, I knew there was a lot a head of me. - short cut, because I have to tell a backstory to what's following, so I’ve always wanted a dog since I have been a kid and F also always wanted a dog, for the past year I was pretty obsessed with pugs, then I was obsessed with french bulldogs because they’re just cute. Back in January we already talked about this topic with my mom and she just said that me and F have not been together for so long and that we would talk about this another time. So until October we were kinda over this topic already.- But on one day where we both were home, he brought the topic back up and just for information purposes he searched for people, that were selling french bulldog puppies. On the same day, we were driving to there place - keep in mind we just wanted to ask them how much space the puppies would need, how much affection and just general stuff. - But oh my god, the puppies were so cute and adorable. When they said the dogs only need around 50-60 square meters, I was initially in the mode of picking my favorite puppy (our flat has 56 square meters). On the way home we both knew that we would be getting a dog. When we drove home, F called our landlord and asked him, if it would be okey if we would get a dog and I called my mom to tell her all the facts, because against that she would not be able to say something against it.  She was not impressed but also not angry, so I was like okey let’s get a dog. The next day, we drove to the breeders again to pick our puppy. I originally said that I would either want a grey or spotted one - they had both - however, the spotted ones were not that pretty. So we had to make the decision between a lazy fat black one or a quirky playful grey one. Characteristically, we would more be like the black one, but I wanted to have the grey one so we could play a lot. So there you have it, within two days, we made the decision to get a dog and already picked out a puppy. Four weeks later, we would be able to pick him up.

November. The time has finally come, and we were able to pick up our puppy and bring him home. He was really, great. He was not scared of anything and he was also not crying a lot. It was so funny to watch him run around and play and jump. Back then he was so little, you can't even imagine. But he’s also a lot of work, at the beginning he peed and pooped into the flat which was not so great. Another topic: Uni. During October and November I did not have the best time in uni, because there were so many things I did not understand and I was exhausted and it was just so much that I was not even interested in. I was so stressed out, I had a break down almost everyday because of the tasks we had to do. I was also considering, switching to another major that was about marketing and advertisement. Because I was way more interested in that kind of stuff. However, the problem was the timing, because the semester had just started, so I either had to finish this semester anyways or I would stop right now and then do nothing until March, which my mom would not allow. And if it was the first option, I would already been done with 3 Semesters, and if I would switch to another major I would have to start at zero again. I also saw, that the major I wanted to switch to had really shity times to be at uni, and with our puppy it was better if I was the most time at home. So it was a really shit time for me, because I wanted to switch but then I would be even longer in Uni. But also a reason, why I wanted to switch was that in my major I did not really have any friends and I was just hoping that I would maybe gain some new friends in the other major. So it was the first weekend that we drove home with the puppy because also my grandpa had died and the funeral was on a Friday. When we got home I noticed that my mom was annoyed the whole time. - my dad was in love with the puppy tho - so the funeral was pretty sad and I could not believe that my grandpa was gone now. It was for the better tho, because his health got worse, sometimes he would not even remember me and his body was just shutting down. At the funeral I also had to think of S, and that I lost two people this year. The day after, me and my parents talked about a lot of things. First, me and my dad about the houses and some stuff and that I would get one of the houses. And then all together about why my mom was so angry about the dog and yea. Then I told her the situation about the decision I would want to make considering the major and obviously she was not happy about it. Like she's paying my rent and everything. So her condition was that, if I would switch, I would have to find a mini-job during the semester. So that was not really optional because I would have to do so much for uni itself. So I got over the idea and said to myself that I just have to live through it. 

December. I’m still here in my original major and I finally found peace with it because now I’m almost done with everything and the things don’t seem impossible anymore. But I’m really glad that this semester is over soon, because I hate everything about it. I also feel really uncomfortable in the lessons again, because I always sit next to the girl - from the very beginning I’m still friends with her - but she always wants to sit in the front which means that it is always just me and her in the front and everybody else is always behind us. Which I feel so uncomfortable about. It is also always really awkward when we have to build groups of 4 or something because then it always us two outsiders and usually two other outsiders. - Just so you know, I have nothing against foreign people, like my boyfriend is half Thai - but these other two outsiders are from russia I think, and they have this strong accent and because I already worked together with them and I sit with them, I think I am also considered an outsider and I feel so uncomfortable with that. Also another thing that’s been on my mind lately is, that the relationship between me and F is getting quite dry and boring because we just have our routine and there is nothing exciting anymore. It’s also really difficult to change this, because our routines are fixed because of work and uni but also because every time I talked with F about our relationship and that I want more love and affection, he does it for like two days and then it’s just like how it was before that. And this is so frustrating. I just want the feelings from the start again, where everything was exciting and new. Like he is still my favorite person and I prefer spending time with him over being alone or with someone else, but this is probably the problem why it is so boring. I just need a friend or an activity without him, so when I come back I’m excited to see him. Or we need a new routine, I just don’t know honestly. Last but not least, on Saturday we are finally driving home for the christmas break which I’m excited for because I don’t have uni for two weeks and yea. Also we maybe celebrate New Years Eve at my place which is also exciting, because I never really had a party at my place. Also another thing, in February and March next year I will be working at the coffee shop again which I am very excited for. I am also really excited for the next semester because then we will do a lot of marketing stuff and media production which I’m really interested in. - One last thing, last weekend F, two of his friends and I drove over 1000km on one day to look at a car F wanted to buy and guess what he bought it. But it is a crash car so he has to work on it still before he can drive it. Also our puppy is getting bigger and bigger and I am such a proud mommy.

- See you probably in 4 years

[justagirlwritingherlilheartout]

New town, New start (Tig-Sons of Ararchy)

Request: A club imagine where you save gemma from a holdup at some convenience store and bring her back to tm where she offers you a job because she notices your new and u start to work there and end up with either tig or chibs (your choice) this could be a series if u want

Thank you for the request! Love the idea! I decided to pick tig so i don't spam y'all with Chibs all day haha <3<3<3

Y/N was new to Charming, she moved there exactly a week ago. And today she had her job interview at the local animal hospital.

It was 4:30 PM and her interview was at 4:45 PM, so she decided to quickly get a water and a pack of gum from the small convenience store not far from the animal clinic.

''Are you serious?'' An angry female voice shook Y/N out of her thoughts  while she waited in a short line to pay for her water and gum.

''Ma'am, we can't let you go buy that much alcohol.'' The manager said as some new law was just posted a month ago about the maximum amount of alcohol a single person can buy.

''You must be fucking shitting me. Just give me what i want and you can keep the change.'' She said throwing a couple hundred dollars at the man.

''You can not bribe us in to selling you alcohol.''

''Yes i can! Watch me!'' She said, starting to put the bottles of whiskey in to her bag.

''Ma'am we'll need to call the cops if you don't stop.'' The manager said grabbing her hand.

''Hey hey.'' Y/N felt like she needed to step in, ''Sorry I'm late.'' She said wrapping her hand  around the older woman's waist in a friendly manner. ''Oh, you grabbed my stuff as well?'' She  said as she saw the woman looking at her with a confused expression. She winked at her, making the lady relax and send send the manager a smirk.

''Oh there is two of you?'' He asked in disbelief.

''Yep. One,'' Y/N said motioning to herself, ''and two.'' She motioned to the lady besides her.

''Oh, okay.. Sorry for the misunderstanding.'' The man apologized. ''Is there anything we can do for you?''

''Nah, we're good.'' The young girl said giving one two of the bags full of alcohol to the lady besides her and grabbing two of her own. ''Actually, we could use a hand.'' She said before nodding in the direction of the rest of the bags.

''Of course.'' The man said and grabbed the other 4 bags before following them out to the lady's car.

''Thank you.'' Y/N said to the man who smiled at her. ''Goodbye.'' She said as he didn't move.

''Oh, um.. goodbye, come again soon.''

''Thank you.'' The lady said with an amused look on her face.

''Anytime.'' The younger girl smiled as she put the bags in to the car.

''I'm Gemma. You're new aren't you?'' The lady offerd her hand.

''Nice to meet you Gemma, I'm Y/N.'' She took the hand and shook it. ''Yeah, moved here last week. It's a new town, new start. ''

''Welcome to Charming.'' Gemma said eyeing the girl up and down.

''Thank you.'' The girl smiled looking down at her phone, which read 5 PM. ''Shit.''

Gemma raised an eyebrow at the girl in front of her.

''Sorry. I just missed my job interview.'' Y/N sighed throwing her phone in to her purse.

''If you need a job there's an opening at the bar.'' Gemma lied. She wanted to fire that crow eater who has been flirting with Clay, for a while now.

''Really? That would be great.'' Y/N smiled. Sure, it wasn't the perfect job. But it was something.

''Yeah. Get in, I'll drive you there and we can talk about everything.''

''Alright.''

Once in the car the two women talked about the bar, about their families. Soon Gemma learned that Y/N moved here with her 16 year old brother who was kicked out by their parents after they caught him in bed with another boy.

''How old are you?'' Gemma wondered. The girl next to her looked like she was in her mid 20's but her attitude was so positive and bubbly that made her seem younger.

''I'm 25. I finished uni last year and got a veterinarian degree, so i hoped to get a job at the local animal clinic but oh well, I'll try again tomorrow or something'' She shrugged. ''Besides having two jobs wouldn't hurt as I'm the only one bringing money to this household of two.''

''You seem like you have it all planned out.'' Gemma said as they pulled in to a parking spot at MT.

The two got out of the car and walked in to the club house where Gemma turned to the girl and told her to wait there. Before walking over to a blonde girl behind the bar.

''What? No! I need the money!'' The blonde raised her voice and something told Y/N  that that wasn't a smart move. Gemma seemed like the alfa woman in this house.

''Half  sack!  Show the crow eater out!'' Gemma ordered a young looking boy, who couldn't be much older than Y/N.

''Yes ma'am.'' He said walking over to the blonde and grabbing her elbow, dragging her out.

''And don't call me ma'am ever again if you wanna keep the one ball that you have.'' Gemma said after him as she walked over to the awaiting girl.

''Okay so are you okay to work nights?''

''Yes.''

''Good, you get the shift from 4 to midnight.''

''Got it.'' The girl smiled. ''Is there anywhere i can put my stuff?''

''Ready to work? Good girl.'' Gemma said, pressing her hand on the small of her back and leading you to a small closed space behind the bar. ''Maybe i should get you some more... appropriate clothes.'' She said motioning to her  black A-line skirt that reached just above her knees and a white dress shirt that she had tucked in to it.

''Don't worry about it, just get me a knife.'' The younger girl smiled.

''Well then.'' Gemma raised an eyebrow at her before looking around. ''Tig!''

''Yeah?'' He walked up to the duo, noticing the new girl right away. ''Well hello there.'' He said shamelessly looking her up and down.

''Give me your knife.'' Gemma said punching his shoulder.

''Ow, what's that for?'' He looked at her.

''Stop fucking her with your eyes and give me your knife.'' Gemma said making the girl besides her chuckle.

''Here.'' He said handing her the knife, which she gave the younger girl.

''Thank you.'' Y/N said to both of them before walking in to the closed Gemma showed her before.

Once inside she cut off the hem of her skirt, making it now reach her mid thigh before making another cut, on the left side, creating a high slip, exposing more of her leg.

''Not bad.'' She smiled to herself before untucking her dress shirt, unbuttoning it and tying it at her waist before rolling up her selves. Her black bra was peeing out of the white material which only made the outfit look better.

Finishing everything off by putting her hair in to a messy ponytail she walked out of the closet making both Gemma's and Tig's yaws drop. ''What? I had a rebellious faze in high school.'' She smiled before walking over to Tig and Handing him his knife. ''Thank you,...''

''Tig..'' He said quietly, still taking her in before clearing his throat and repeating louder. ''I'm Tig.''

''Nice to meet you Tig.'' She smiled as he took his knife back, ''I'm Y/N.''

''You'll fit right in.'' Gemma said patting her on the back before walking away.

As he just stared at her she chuckled and said. ''So Tig, wanna be my first?''

His eyebrows shot up making her laugh before adding ''My first costumer.''

''Sure, I'll have a beer.'' He said and she winked at him, ''Coming right up.''

''Who's that?'' Jax walked up to Tig that was straight out staring at the girl's ass as she walked away from him.

''Y/N.'' The man said shortly as the girl walked in their direction again.

''Here you go.'' She smiled setting his beer on the desk in front of him. ''Can i get you anything?'' She gave  the blonde man the same warm smile.

''I'll take a beer as well, darlin'.'' He said before adding, ''I'm Jax, by the way.''

''Nice to meet you.'' She smiled before walking away to get him his beer. ''Here you go.'' She handed him his beer.

''Welcome to TM, Y/N.'' 

''Y/N what's this place?'' Jake asked walking in to the bar his sister send him the address too.

''It's my new job.'' She said as he sat down behind the bar that was mostly empty now, as all of the guys has something they called 'Church'.

''You work in a garage of the town's gang as a waitress?'' He asked in disbelief.

''I guess you could say that.'' She smiled. ''Anyway, how was school?'' She asked as she gave him a soda.

''It was fine. It would be better if i had my own car tho.'' He said making her sigh.

''Jake, I don't even have a car. You know we can't afford it.'' She reminded him.

''But you got a job  now.'' He insisted just as the guys walked out of their meeting.

''Yes but it will bearably cover rent, and i already have an interview for a second job tomorrow.''  She said before walking over to the other end of the bar where men, who she learned were Happy and Bobby sat. ''Hello boys, what can i get ya?''

While she was running around giving everyone their orders Tig sat down two stools away from her brother. ''Aren't ya a bit young to be here?'' He asked the young boy sitting there looking at his phone.

''He's mine.'' Y/N said over her shoulder sending tig a warm smile.

''Ah... Wait, aren't you a bit young to have such an old kid?'' He asked confusion all over his face as she handed him his beer.

''No, no,'' She laughed. ''He's my brother. He's the reason i moved here.''

''Oh, good.'' He said looking from the boy to her. They looked nothing alike. She had long red hair warm brown eyes and he had short blonde hair with blue eyes.

''Okay, how much is the bus ticket?'' She asked her brother once she finsihed serving everyone.

''How should i know? I never had to ride the bus.'' He rolled his eyes. It was clear that they both came from a rich family.

''Look, I know it's hard  to get used to this.'' She started, trying to keep calm. ''It's better to have to say no to some luxuries than to be homeless, don't you think?''

''Whatever.'' He said without looking at her.

''Hey!'' Tig grabbed a hold of the boys shoulder, squeezing it just enough so it hurt. ''How about some respect for your sister here?''

''I..'' Jake didn't know how to react.

''It's fine.'' Y/N sighed, reaching in to her wallet and pulling out 40$ ''This should cover the ticket home and some take out.'' She gave it to him. ''Home, eat, study, sleep.'' She ordered and the boy shook Tig's hand off before waking away at a quick speed.

''Thank you.'' She smiled at Tig, ''But you didn't need to do that.''

''Don't worry i bearably touched him.''  He told her before taking a drink of his beer.  ''Gemma told me why you moved here. I'm guessing you and your brother are used to living a rich life?''

''Yeah. He loved that lifestyle. I moved out when i was 19, went to study abroad.'' She told him and they spent the rest of the night getting to know eachother.

She ended up being fascinated by the club and it's buisness (not all of it of course, as  he only told her about the legal stuff). And he ended up being more and more intrigued by her wisdom and positivity.

It was 15 minutes after midnight when she gathered her things and said bye to everyone when he walked up to her again. ''Need a ride home?''

''Yes please.'' She smiled  a tired smile.

''Right this way then.'' He said motioning towards his bike. He gave her his helmet which she thanked for and put on her head while he got on the bike.

''Here.'' He said helping her on. ''Hold on tight.'' He smirked as he felt her hands wrap tightly around his waist.

''Ready?''

''Ready.'' She smiled. And they drove off in to the night.

'

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Request here!

Masterlist here!

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AN: Hey, let me know what you think. I really loved this concept (Gemma is just such an amazing character, i'm lowkey obsesssed with her)!! Maybe a part two?

[whatsjungkooking]

greek myth asks✨💛

GODS: Life

Zeus: What’s your name or nickname? - Ellie

Hera: Where are you from? - UK

Athena: How old are you? - 19

Hephaestus: When is your birthday? -23/01

Aphrodite: What’s your relationship status? - single

Poseidon: What are your pronouns? - she/her

Dionysus: Are you and extrovert or an introvert? - introvert around others I’m not too familiar with but extrovert with friends

Demeter: Do you have any pets? - 2 dogs that are basically horses

Apollo: What kind of music are you into? - kpop mainly but usually just pop music, I do like a good ballad though

Artemis: What do you first notice about new people? - the way they act I think?

Hades: What’s a big fear of yours? - not being my version of successful and being lonely

Ares: What’s a big pet peeve of yours? - when people have no manners

Hestia: Where do you consider home? - my house ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

CREATURES: Lasts

Pegasus: Last movie you watched? - wonder woman

Mermaid: Last tv show you finished? - I have no clue

Centaur: Last book you read? - omg I’m ashamed I have no idea, I used to read so much nothing has really caught my eye lately and I haven’t been in the reading mood

Siren: Last song you listened to? - love whisper by the one and the only gfriend

Gorgon: Last thing you ate? - a lidl’s version of a twix bar

Cyclops: Last time you cried? - last monday night?

Minotaur: Last time you were truly happy? - today

Sphynx: Last text you sent? - “beach towel!” 

Chimera: Last call you made? - to my brother asking where he was

Griffin: Last thing you did before going to sleep last night? - washed my face, put on ma face cream and lipbalm

Nymph: Last dream you remember? - last night I was at the cinema and this guy stood up waving a huge bottle of ariel detergent around and I said wHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING. and he was making a mess and getting it on my shoes so I tackled him and put the bottle down and everyone clapped

Satyr: Last time you couldn’t stop laughing? - when I watched a video on twitter these 2 girls got taken oUT on a water slide as soon as yuju’s high note came up in me gustas tu i was crying my eyes out

HEROES: Experiences

Heracles: Have you ever had a dream come true? - I’m really not sure

Theseus: What is your worst regret? - hmm everything happens for a reason I feel, I can’t really think of any

Perseus: Have you ever been arrested? - nope

Cadmus: Have you ever had your heart broken? - no

Achilles: Have you ever had to be hospitalized? - no

Actaeon: Tell about a memory you wish to forget. - so many but I can’t think of just one, plus I can’t really remember any at the moment HAHA

Bellerophon: Have you ever passed out? - nearly at scHOOL

Agamemnon: What is an achievement you’re proud of? - badminton player of the year award even though I was basically the only player in the whole school lol

Oedipus: Have you ever been in love? - no

Jason: Have you ever travelled abroad? Where? - spain, usa, s.korea

Atlanta: Have you ever stood up for someone else? - in literal terms yes ahaaa

Hippolytus: Tell an experience you will never forget. - in a badminton tournament the girl who I was playing against threw her racket on the floor after I won and she walked off so I went up to her and shook her hand bc sportmanship 

MAGICAL ITEMS: Favorites  

Trident: Who are your favorite people? - @thebrovincicode @rosylipstae @forever-young-got7 @skin-of-potato few other school friends and old work friends

Lightning Bolt: What are your top three favorite movies? - wonder woman, divergent, MULAN

Sun Chariot: What is your favorite mythological creature? - pegasus

Lyre: What are your top three favorite songs? - I’ve spent so long on this question I can’t dO IT, obvs gfriend songs tho

Caduceus: What is your favorite color? - blue

Aegis: What is your favorite book or series? between divergent and shatter me but shatter me edges in front since I’ve read the series 3 times I think?

Scythe: What is your favorite tv show? - greys anatomy

Bident: What is your favorite way to spend free time? - with friends

Harpe: What are your top 3 favorite places? - my bedroom, beach, sports hall

Cornucopia: What is your favorite place to eat? - tgi’s I reckon, I’m not really too fussy

Winged Sandals: What is your favorite thing to do when you hangout with your friends? - play games and have a good ol chin wag

Golden Fleece: What is your favorite animal? - too many

PLACES: Goals and Wishes

Olympus: Describe your dream job. - translator/something involving travelling

Tartarus: What’s a short term goal you hope to achieve? - to be fitter

Underworld: Describe your dream vacation. - Japan

Styx: How would you like your life to look like in 10 years? - happy

Athuna: If you could live anywhere in the world for the rest of your life, where would it be? - Seoul

Sparta: Do you have a bucket list? If so, what’s on it? - I’m just rolling with everything and saying yes to more things

Elysium: If you could have a superpower, what would it be? -  teleportation 

Ogygia: Describe your dream husband/wife/life partner? - memeworthy, just generally a lovely person that’s also my bestfriend

Troja: What is the craziest thing you wanna do before you die? - no idea

The Labyrinth: Have you ever died and came back to life as a vampire? - not that I’m aware

Delphi: Are you currently doing anything to pursue your dreams? - starting open uni in 2 months

[u-are-my-melody]

SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG

tagged by sweet @ taekeyxx , thanks for tagging me ;) not sure who would be interested in my answers tho :D

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 ppl…

THE LAST:

1. Drink: instant cofee w/ milk.

2. Phone call: my BFF (yesterday)

3. Text message: my BFF, asking me to start teaching her English.  

4. Song you listened to: VROMANCE - I fall in Love (extremely relaxing song u can listen before sleep, purifies your subconscious like nothing else)

5. Time you cried: Going through my late uncle’s papers, sketches and stuff, while tidying up at his place after his death (2 weeks ago) . He was an extremely talented wood carver, but never had a courage, confidence or resources to make it into a career. Had a drinking problem, barely got by, lived on a countryside, was too kind for this world, died at the age of 56.

6. Dated someone twice: I have never dated.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope.

8. Been cheated on: nope, because I have never dated.

9. Lost someone special: pets.

10. Been depressed: depressed is my second name.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope. I don’t drink often. Never with my own money at least. Why would I waste money on pointless alcohol :D I could buy kpop or with it.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: dark red, dark purple, that mix of blue and green whatever it is called

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: I don’t think so...

16. Fallen out of love: I don’t fall in love or crush easily, so no.

17. Laughed until you cried: yup, because of kpop crack videos.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: don’t remember. 

19. Met someone who changed you: This year? nope.

20. Found out who your friends are: No.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t have a Facebook (am I a rare species? :D)

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: no FB.

23. Do you have any pets: A dog. My BFF rescued him from the street in January, he was so sick and near death. I took him in and it was a long and hard journey, but he is fine now. He bullies me into walks every day. 

24. Do you want to change your name: I would still be a mess of a person, just with a different name :D what would be the point.

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I don’t celebrate my own birthdays since 11. 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping and being bit by mosquitoes.

28. Name something you can’t wait for:  Nu’est comeback. Also BTS comeback. Also someone to buy my shit I put on sale/ am going to put on sale.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: just now.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I was allowed to focus on 1 thing/path when I was very young, then become good at it and make it my job later. Instead I tried to do everything and am not extremely good at anything. 

31. What are you listening right now: the GazettE - dim scene.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I have no idea. Maybe?

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: parents and people in general.

34. Most visited Website: Youtube.

35. Elementary: finished.

36. High School: finished.

37. College: finished.

38. Haircolor: natural dirty blonde.

39. Long or short hair: it reaches my boobs, so longish I guess?

40. Do you have a crush on someone: I don’t crush easily, so no.

41. What do you like about yourself: nothing at all.

42. Piercings: none.

43. Bloodtype:  I actually have no idea. I avoid hospitals as much as humanly possible.

44. Nickname: None.

45. Relationship status: single as fuck. 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: documentaries about space?

49. Tattoos: None. Not planing on ever getting any.

50. Right or left: right, but sometimes left :D

51. Surgery: appendix. I was very little and almost died.

52. Piercing: none.

53. Sport: none. A nerd through and through :D

55. Vacation: My parents never believed in vacation, so I never had an opportunity to go on one. It is something other people do, not me.

56. Pair of trainers: some hand-me-downs.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: This question made me hungry and reminded me that I’m supposed to be dieting at the same time :D fml.

58. Drinking: coffee.

59. I’m about to: go heat up some leftover soup.

61. Waiting for: my kpop otps to marry.

62. Want: a job.

63. Get married: probably never.

64. Career: Yes I would like one very much.

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs.

66. Lips or eyes: voice?

67. Shorter or taller: both are fine.

68. Older or younger: both are fine.

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach.

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive.

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship.

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nope.

75. Drank hard liquor: only tried out. I will still need my liver in the future.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I wear glasses all the time, sometimes cannot find them in the morning.

77. Turned someone down: maybe? cannot remember tbh.

78. Sex in the first date: Nooooo.

79. Broken someones heart: lol.

80. Had your heart broken: not really? I would have to love someone for that.

81. Been arrested: dear god no.

82. Cried when someone died: way too many times.

83. Fallen for a friend: Almost.. but no. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: i wish.

85. Miracles: no.

86. Love at first sight: sure, for some people? not me tho.

87. Santa Claus: Why are they still feeding this lie to children. I felt so betrayed by my parents when I found out. 

88. Kiss in the first date: sure, for some people? not me tho.

89. Angels: No.

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Vilma.

91. Eyecolor: some kind of greenish-brownish, I don’t even know. They were blue when I was born tho.

92. Favorite movie: I like fantasy, comedy, Asian and animated movies. Also like horror, but too scared to watch that. Haven’t had the time to watch many in recent years, so: Finding Nemo, Pirates of Caribean, 700 Days of Battle: Us vs. the Police. Tagging all my followers  (yes, porn blogs, you too) If you follow me for some reason.. um.. hi? do this tag, if u want :)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #153

“i may be easy - easy to hate, but you’re so fucking easy, easy to break.”

Do you think age matters in friendship?  Nah.  One of my closest friends is in his 30s.  Now of course I believe a parent should monitor a friendship of a minor and adult, but, I still believe friendship is certainly possible. What was the last essay/assignment you wrote about?  It was only the rough draft, but I helped Colleen with her assessment of "Female" by Keith Urban. When do you usually put your Christmas decorations up?  Usually start in early December. Are you more likely to eat when you’re bored or depressed?  When I'm bored, I'd say.  When I'm depressed, I'm more keen on sleeping.  I've gotten better about not eating when I'm bored, thankfully. Do you have a case/cover for your phone? Describe it.  No, I want one tho. Do you take good care of your skin?  I've been making a decent effort lately.  I HATE the bumps I have on my arms from dry skin, so I've been moisturizing them as well as my face. What was your dream job when you were a kid?  Paleontologist.  I would still pursue it if I wasn't turned off by a career with loads of travel, nor do I think I have the patience to obtain a PhD. Is there any music you listen to that was influenced by your parents?  Oh yeah, Mom especially.  She's all about heavy metal, especially the classics.  Dad too, but I'd say he's more hard rock. Do you use tampons or pads? Or both?  Tampons, pads gross me out afsdjafjw.  I started with them though. Is your internet wireless or do you need a cable?  Wireless. What is something you’re behind the times on?  Ummm idk. Have you ever had a severe allergic reaction?  No. What color are your glasses, if applicable?  Black. List a great $1 store find:  Idk. List a great garage sale find:  *shrugs* Who is one YouTuber you would like to meet?  m a r k Do you have your own website?  I have my own photography one. Do you like candy corn?  Omg demons stay back. Were you happy as a kid?  Yep. What is your favorite Queen song?  If your answer isn't "Bohemian Rhapsody," I don't want you in my life. Who was the last person you blocked on social media? Why?  Colleen, 'cuz I was kicking her out of my life and know that woman too well that she would try sending me a novel of hate, and I wasn't having it.  Turns out she shared our drama over Facebook afterwards to make me the bad guy, and I still have trouble believing I forgave something that petty.  She apologized for it, eh. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?  The old woman my mom had watched.  I knew enough about her to know she was a super sweet woman, so I barely held it together in there.  She died the very next morning. Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life?  Ha, no.  He doesn't deserve my friendship. You never know what you have until you’ve lost it, true or false?  Nah. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done?  I dunno, possibly something sexual. When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language?  Back in high school when I was doing a German test over the phone. Have you ever successfully broken a bad habit? How about conquered a fear of something?  Omg, so I had this habit of when I was thinking deeply or nervous, I would pull my eyebrows out.  It got to the point it would sometimes look like I almost had none.  Super embarrassing, especially because I did this a lot in school.  As for a fear, it was never a big one, but going to see Sara broke my mild fear of flying.  I like it now. Have you ever read a whole series of books?  Yes. Are you going to walk at your graduation or just pick your diploma up?   For when I finish college, I'm probably just picking up my diploma. Have you ever tried to break a Guinness World Record?  No. Do you know how to read music?  I recall some notes. Do you own any shirts that have a year on it?  Ha ha, I got that "I was there" shirt for the Back to the Future date. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone?  No. Is your skin tone lighter or darker than your mom’s?  Lighter. Have you ever done another person’s make-up?  I gave Jason a makeover. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Honestly still hope I have that picture somewhere.  Regardless of what happened, that is damn good memory, he hated it so much. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname?  Sara, Ashley, Nicole, and Mom. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin?  'Bout two weeks back to get my tongue pierced. Who is the youngest gay person you know?  Dunno. Have you ever watched an animal being eaten by another animal?  Yeah, our old cats with mice 'n such. Do you get along with people who are especially religious? Why/why not?  If you don't push it on me, certainly.  Respect my theism, I'll respect your whatever. Do you have any interesting pillow cases?  No. Are you more afraid of spiders or bees?  Well, there's too much variety in this question.  I'll fear a wolf spider more than a bumblebee, but a hornet more than daddy long leg. Has your best friend ever seen you naked?  No. Do you get mad when your current bf/gf talks about an ex?  Not at all. Do you know anybody who was abused?  Yes. Would you prefer a baby boy or girl?  If I was to have kids, y'know, I don't know.  Perhaps a girl, but I know boys are generally easier, and feeling the bond between a mother and her son would be amazing.  I'unno. When did you last feel like your privacy was invaded?  I'm not sure. Do your parents volunteer anywhere?  No. If you were a different religion from your current one, what would it be? Why?  Wiccan, because their beliefs (that I know of) are interesting. Have you ever had your phone taken away at school?  No. How old were you the first time you dyed your hair?  Idk.  I think first year of high school; I don't believe dyed hair was allowed in middle. Do you talk the same way you do in person as you do online?  For the most part. How would you react if a doctor told you that you were infertile?  I'd be like, irrationally happy.  I don't want kids, and I have a considerably large fear of being raped and thus get pregnant, so. Do you get along with your best friend’s parents?  Her mom's a bitch, and her dad's... different. Have you ever been in a relationship where you didn’t get along with the person’s parents?  No. How many people of the opposite sex have you said ‘I love you’ to?  One, romantically. Do you put marshmallows in your hot chocolate?  No. What is the best thing you can draw?  Meerkats are like the only thing I can draw decently without a reference. What band did you see for your first concert?  Alice Cooper. Do you think people with legitimate addictions are pathetic, or do you understand them?  Oh fuck off.  I obviously can't "understand" because I've never endured one, but addictions are serious.  Addiction is not a choice, and from meeting so many druggies during my psych hospital visits as well as having a friend who got clean, it's fucking hard. Has anyone you know ever had serious surgery before?  Yeah, Mom had kidney cancer.  The tumor was bigger than the kidney itself. When was the last time you had butterflies?  When Sara was here, we had these few moments where we were just staring at each other smiling and asjdfawjij. Do you think Gatorade tastes refreshing or just gross?  I don't like it. Do you own a pet fish? What kind of fish are they?  No. Do you have a porch swing?  No. How many area codes would you recognize?  My own and childhood town's. Who has the best taste in music in your family?  Besides myself obviously, Mom. What animal did you last pet or hold?  My cat. If you were a different gender, what name would you want to have?  Maybe like.  Dakota.  Probs my favorite unisex name. If you had to have one feature on your body changed to a canine version of said feature, what would you choose?  Gimme dem teefs. What product or service do you find ridiculously overpriced?  Some fast food, QUALITY MAKEUP, gas, uhhhh. How many people, outside of your immediate family, do you know the birthdays of by heart?  Six, or seven if you count my dog.  Maybe forgetting some. Shot of whiskey, or a bottle of Smirnoff?  The latter, I love Smirnoff's. Have you ever been afraid of being underwater?  No. Would you ever scuba dive in shark infested waters if you had the chance? In a cage, sure.  Otherwise, no.  Sharks are very much villainized, but I respect their capabilities, rare as an attack is. Have you ever hit a parked car with your car?  Not yet, boy will I when I learn how to park around others lmao. What band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? Hmmm, not sure. How many times have you been on a plane?  Four times that I remember, but I was on one as a baby, too. What do you wish were different about your hair?  I wish it was eASIER TO DYE- What’s a personality type that you do not like? Overly talkative is draining for me.  I also dislike the kinds of people who aim to make every "conversation" almost exclusively about themselves/leave no room for you to really express your own thoughts.  That's not a convo. What’s a personality type that you do like? Deep thinkers.  Those open to many possibilities, even if wild.  Nature-adoring people and/or ones who feel heavily connected to the earth. Which of your friends is the least like you and in what way? Colleen.  My best friend somehow, ha ha.  She's extremely straightforward and isn't afraid to hurt feelings if she feels it's important for you to see truth, she gets shit done quick/doesn't procrastinate, she can be quite argumentative, she's completely independent, our religious and some political views are different, our music taste is totally inverted, and I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting.  We're a prime example of opposites attract.  Love her to death. How about the most like you and in what way? Sara, and I could write a novel here lmao.  Separated at birth kinda shit. What’s something you do daily and is this a habit of yours? Sit on the computer, and yeeaah it's just about all I do. What was the last thing to frustrate you and is it still frustrating you now?  Hm.  Dunno.  Probably something like Roman being so intent on lying on the keyboard. What helps you fall asleep? Nothing lol. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason?  Anti-depressants.  Learned from my current psychiatrist that taking them only amps up bipolarity symptoms if you have that as well, which I do. Do you like designer bags with the logo stamped all over them?  No. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you?  Native American. If you had to choose to have a different accent than the one you have now, what accent would you choose and why?  British, 'cuz it's hot. Have you ever missed a flight?  Omg yes.  O'Hare after visiting Sara was absolutely impossible.  It was so.  Busy.  That and I didn't know what I was doing through half of it. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do?  "The" ex would lose his balls, the others I'd push back. Are you a virgin?  P sure no but my story is complicated so aojsdfaow. What is one feature that you don’t like?  I'm guessing you mean on myself personally, and that would easily be weight.  I'd be relatively fine with myself if that was where I want it to be. What’s the genre of the current song you’re listening to?  Metal ballad. What would you do if you were stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean?  I don't really know.  A part of me says I'd be so hopeless and terrified I'd drown myself.  The odds of being found are minuscule. Who is the funniest person you know?  Girt. When sitting on the floor, in what position do you normally sit?  Kinda with my legs turned to the same side. Do you like being kissed spontaneously or asked?  Spontaneously is way less awkward for me.  But only if you're pretty sure through my display of comfort that I'm fine with it. Have you ever tried to break someone up?  I thought about it out of spite.  I considered messaging her over Facebook and telling her what she was in for, and I wished her dead, and I'm not joking.  Turns out he broke up with her for the same reason as me, according to Mom being a FB stalker apparently. Are you a bad influence?  I am in some areas.  Shouldn't be even remotely lazy as me, and you shouldn't illegally download shit. Would you ever get a tattoo?  I already have five, and six is probably coming next year with holiday + birthday money. Do you get nervous before going to doctor appointments?  Not really, no.  The only thing that makes me anxious is having to get weighed lmao. Do you call anyone "baby?"  Sara, but more frequently "babygirl." What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving?  Off the top of my head, I think A Raisin in the Sun. Do you have any close friends that were adopted?  No. What time do you usually have a shower?  Night. What do you want to do after high school? I immediately went to a community college but dropped out in like a month.  My depression was so bad and I just couldn't handle the difficulty, responsibility, and independence leap. Do you know anybody that is pregnant right now? Not off the top of my head.  My acquaintance had a baby girl less than a week ago, though.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #69

“suicide is painless.”

do you like getting hickeys? yeah, honestly. love bites are some sexy shit. oral, do you like oral? i enjoy receiving it, but i do not like giving it. i don't care how clean you may be, sorry, i don't want your dick in my mouth. because of this, i didn't like receiving it to begin with because i didn't want to receive something i didn't want to give, i wanted to be fair. there were occasions jason just really seemed to want to do it tho so it just happened. he was such a fucking gentleman, he was always concerned about keeping me pleased. if you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? METALLICA OKAY plan on getting drunk or high tonight? i'm drinking right now actually, but i'm only having one. so no, i won't get drunk. do you have any best friends that you only know online? i've had two, but neither really talk to me anymore, sooo. is it okay for people to cheat if it’s only online? uhhh, no? are you interested in anime? yeah, sure. do you have a favorite youtuber or do you not watch much youtube? RHETT!! AND!! LINK!! SLASH!! G!! M!! M!!! have you ever given a tattoo before and would you like to? no, and i wouldn't because i have an essential tremor. i'd mess it up. have you ever made out in a hot tub? lmao i wish. ever peed in your pants after the age of 10? i'm sure i have in my sleep once because i dreamt of peeing lmao what was the name of the last video game you played? i was trying to play "the last of us," but my ps3 was too far gone. what is your favorite elvis song? "hound dog," probably. what is the last tattoo you got? "ohana" on my right collarbone what would you say is your guiltiest pleasure? honestly occasional fantasies about certain things with my ex lmao do you let your pets on your furniture? of course. they live here. do you enjoy your job? if unemployed, are you content being so? i am not content being unemployed, no. it's just debatable whether i'm capable or not, as at my past two jobs, working with so many strangers, i lived in a constant panic attack that came to a head as puking. so now i'm trying to find a job with animals... what is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? whether or not to maintain abstinence. what is your favorite christmas movie? jim carrey's "how the grinch stole christmas" what do you think of your best friend’s ex? not much to think. it was puppy-love. so much so he turned out to be gay. are you biracial? i am not. be honest, does the person you like actually deserve you? or are they actually not worthy of your affections? he deserves a goddess would you ever wear black lipstick? do you know anyone who does? whenever i wear makeup, i'm liable to wear black lipstick. if you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark color or a light? and if you wear mascara, what color is it? always black. what was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? mike's hard lemonade, black cherry. that was last night; i got too tired to finish the survey last night. are you any good with kids? not especially, no. i don't know what to do with them. shit you not, there have been multiple occasions where my niece (she's two) has come up to me, looking for a hug, and i almost pet her on the head like an animal. i just. don't know what to do with children, i'm really awkward around them. have you seen the last person you kissed without a shirt on? yes wow very good a+++ do you like watching jerry springer? oh my god, NO. so fucking dramatic. have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? nope. pretty sure one of jason's best friends hates my guts anyway, because i "made him miserable for three years." yeah fucking right. plenty of proof otherwise. have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? yeah. true story, skinny jeans are fucking hard to get off. have you ever deleted your facebook, then brought it back? nope, had no reason to. have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? not at the time when we were dating, no. i knew he smoked weed once in a blue moon, but i made him stop entirely. i wasn't dating anyone involved with drugs. what’s your favorite brand of peanut butter? don't have one, actually. do you have a thing for shy/awkward hot guys? according to my history, no. what’s your favorite lunchables meal? the nachos one! have you ever eaten at golden corral? yeah. it was honestly gross. do you ever decide to just dance crazy to a favorite song? no. another thing i just haven't done since j's been gone. i feel stupid doing it. have you ever watched fireworks with someone you loved? i wish. :( are you good at memorizing phone numbers? not in the slightest. i don't even know mine. do you like men who have a sensitive side? i only like guys with a sensitive side. like damn, you need emotions. have you ever used glitter as one of your makeup items? i've used glittery eyeshadow before, and i've also used glitter in dance classes. do you keep a memo book/agenda? i fucking read that as "meme book" lmao. but no. is there a song in a different language that you can sing? multiple german ones. what was the most expensive thing someone bought you? i'm certain it was my gaming laptop j got me. it's like... a couple ks in price, i think. how do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts? hype as fuck, just don't pull a james hetfield. is there anyone on your facebook friends list that you dislike? why do you dislike them? no, because if i dislike you, i wouldn't have you as a friend. there is, however, one friend that annoys me sometimes, but i still care for her. she's just... liberal to a very pushy degree and shares some nasty, sexual shit sometimes. you can't disagree with her. have you ever tasted baby food? how about pet food? i'm sure i did as a baby...? and lmao i actually ate an orange-flavored guinea pig yogurt treat once. shit wasn't that bad. ;3; have you ever thought about what you might call your children? or, if you already have children, what are their names? my future daughter WILL be alessandra quinn and my husband will fucking like it lol. i can't pick between severin, vincent, and luther for a boy... where is the person you would most like to see, or most like to be with? hm. monday morning. guessing school or work, or he may even still be in bed. find 5 people on your facebook friends list, whose name begins with K. who are these people, and how did you meet them? kelly: friend from art class in high school; katie: half-sister, we don't talk much, but we're very alike; katelynn: jason's friend jacob's ex-girlfriend, very sweet girl; katherine: i'm pretty sure we met via youtube through a shared love of meerkats; kathleen: high school friend whom i shared various classes with, i miss her soooo much. is there a person that you can go to in sweats, and still feel comfy? lmao. everyone. do you think the last person you kissed is nice? i wouldn't have dated him otherwise. how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? none... or maybe one. how far away is the last person you kissed? if he's at work? literally like two minutes. we passed by his work yesterday, and i checked for his car. it was there. took a while to get over that, just knowing i was in the same place as him... have you ever had a teacher that was like a second mom to you? definitely mrs. worthington, who i just call miss tobey. she was my high school physical science teacher, and the class she had was HORRID. i was the one and only student who would stand up to the class and demand they give her respect. after i did that once, we just... clicked. i was going through a tough time accepting my parents' divorce, and she was always there for me. we got so close that now, even out of school, she visits sometimes. she even takes me out to eat sometimes. she is a wonderful lady, i love her. have you ever been in a school talent show? what for? no, but my best friend has. i smiled watching her sing and dance a little bit. (: was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? neither, really. it was more like the only thing to do. i was reading "the maze runner" at the hospital. would you prefer to go out on a fancy date or just chill in his house? either, honestly. both are fun. (: do you enjoy long car rides? yes! so long i can sit in the front and blare my music honestly, lmao. do you ever wish you could live on a farm? not particularly. i wouldn't like all the maintenance. do you know how to play poker? i used to. have you ever had an ear infection? i had them so frequently as a kid i had to get tubes put in my ears. never had one since. what color is your favorite bra? baby pink what was the name of your first boyfriend? if you wanna count the first person who ever had the title, aaron. have you ever dated someone more than three years older than you? for less than a day. have you ever dated someone a year younger than you? aaron was younger than me, yes. have you ever dated someone of another race? again, for less than 24 hours. do you enjoy eating veggies? lmao i'm a pure-blooded american, fam. are you attracted to the last person you exchanged numbers with? no. i see him as a brother. what do you think of country music? it's just not my cup of tea. i don't like the sound of it, too twangy. do you think pigs are cute or ugly? SO CUTE!!! did any of your friends lose their virginity before they were 16? if so, did you feel pressured to do the same? i'm sure some have, but that's not my business? and i mean maybe very mildly, but not really. what kind of home would you like? i'm very open to possibilities, honestly. i don't really have a "dream home," but i guess i can say i'd like a wooden home in the woods near a stream, a lot like my uncle's house. did you ever build furniture forts as a child? sure as hell did! what kind of dog is your favorite? i really like akita inus, beagles, chow-chows, pit bulls... have you ever considered dropping acid? nahhh. describe your music style: just gimme some heavy metal, babe. \m/ are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? not particularly. have you ever had a seizure? thank christ no. do you plan on losing weight any time soon? i'm trying to now. i'm eating a lot less. what was your gpa in high school? above 4.00, that's all i know. it was pretty darn high. dunno what happened lmao if you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? ehhh i have a couple i consider favorites. fullmetal alchemist: probably envy. supernatural: dean. american horror story: tate. sherlock: the man himself, i assume. what is your favorite book series, if you have one? "warriors," but i haven't read it in years. have you ever had a parasite before? no. i'd fucking die. they're just so gross. do you enjoy listening to older music? sure. a good portion of what i listen to is from my parents' childhood/teen years. have you been to disney world before? yes! c: have you ever met someone who was really racist before? lmao welcome to the south. if you could be a disney character for a day, who would you be? hmmm. kinda hard to pick when you don't know how their happily ever after is. i assume snow white with how close she is to animals. would you ever want to swim with sharks? honestly, no. like i think i'm pretty educated about sharks and know attacks are VERY rare, but i could be that statistic, y'know? what was the last thing that made you laugh?  probably something chelsea said/did. ever used a bow and arrow?  i haven't. occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?  archaeologist, veterinarian, writer, artist, movie director tea or coffee? both are gross. opinions on sex before marriage?  if you follow my surveys regularly, you know my opinion on this has been changing. basically, if you know you love that person and you know your body is ready, do it. just be safe doing it. who was the hottest teacher you ever had? LAAAAAWD YAAAAAA'LL WHO WAS THAT ONE BAND TEACHER. i think his name was mr. serena, but regardless, he was hot as FUCK. have you ever walked on a beach at night? i have. (: mom didn't know where we were tho and called the police... whoops lmao. when was the last time you baked something? did it turn out good?   brownies i assume, like a month back, and they were fine. do you think some of the stuff we’re taught in school is useless?   yes.  fuck common core. why do we put the clocks one hour forward or one hour back?   i remember learning this in high school...  some president, can't remember which, did it for eco-friendly reasons. what song really gets to your heart and inspires you?   "life won't wait" by ozzy osbourne, probs.  i love that song. do you have fireflies around where you live, or do you wish you did?   we do! what commercial do you wish they kept playing? why do you like it?   the one about contacts omg where the dude goes "MY BRAND" and it's all over-dramatic and shit. what current commercial is your favorite?   "I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF!" fucks me up omg if you could of played in any movie, what movie would it be?   ohhh "alice in wonderland!" did you used to do easter egg hunts when you were a child?   omg yaaaas what would you rather live by: highway, train tracks or airport?   train tracks.  i did as a child, so it's nostalgic for me. do you believe that ‘hate’ really is a strong word?   duh. if you have facebook, are you guilty of fanning countless things?   lmao when facebook was new-ish, i went on a fanning spree from friends' pages, ha... as a kid, did you love playing on neopets?   heeeell yeah, boi!  loved neopets!  i always wanted a plushy of the dragon neopet. do you often get bitten by mosquitoes, or rarely ever?   rarely ever.  meanwhile, my sister gets DEVOURED.  i've heard it relates to your blood type? what’s your opinion on plastic surgery? ever thought about getting it?   i honestly think it's quite the waste of money, like... you lived until adulthood with whatever the problem area is, why can't you live longer and spend your money elsewhere?  i haven't thought of getting it, but i don't judge people who do.  i honestly do understand what it's like to have a part of you you don't like. do you own any feathers?   blue jay feathers, yes. do you have a skype?   i do, but i like.  never use it.  only ever to talk to sam. the last person you had a thing with comes up to you and says “i’m sorry”?   i'd start crying, say i forgive you, hug him, kiss him, just honestly lose it, but in a good way. where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?   i couldn't tell you, but probably olive garden or ruby tuesday's. do you get mad when your current bf/gf talks about an ex?   i don't have a current bf, but when i was with jason, i could imagine me getting mad if he talked too much about rachel, yeah.  like if he randomly brought up something with her, i wouldn't wanna hear it.  now if we were talking about something that simply related to an ex, that's fine. do you know anybody who was abused?   i do. do you start feeling really gross if you don’t shower after one day?   no?  it's just one day. do you pee a lot more after you’ve drank a caffeinated beverage?   doesn't everyone? waiting for something?   yes, actually.  jason got my letter this morning; mom stamped it and put it in his mailbox.  the letter included my contact information "just in case," and i'm, y'know, hoping for a phone call, facebook friend request... something. who is your last received call from?   an unknown number, so i didn't answer.  honestly worried it was jason. how do you pronounce the name Sean when you come across it in text… “shawn” “sheen” or “shane”?   "shawn" wouldn’t it be EXTREMELY weird if someone fell in love with you after reading your answers to this survey?   i don't believe you can fall in love that easily. who is the next person you’ll hold hands with?   my mom. have you ever pole danced before?   what is something you used to be afraid of, but aren’t anymore?   ummmm.  i'm not sure. do you believe your dreams have any real meaning?   not really.  usually. what do you think of guys who ask girls out over via text message or internet?   i mean i'd prefer to be asked in person, but i have no real opinion.  if you're too shy to do it face-to-face, i understand. do you drink more apple or orange juice?   orange do you recall the first time that you learned the truth about sex?   yep, 5th grade.  i was very confused lol. do you find extreme body builders’ bodies to be attractive?   extreme?  no. does it bug you when people go ‘mhm’ all the time when you’re talking?   no, i do that.  it's to indicate i'm following what you're saying. are your parents religious?   they're both catholic what is your favorite hostess/little debbie snack?   devil cakes, i think. do you find it rude when you offer someone something and they decline?   no? do you think benedict cumberbatch is hot?   i find him relatively attractive favorite disney princess?   maybe jasmine.  my fave was ariel when i was a kid. does your sibling have a significant other?   tiffany: no clue.  katie: no clue.  misty: yes.  bobby: no clue.  ashley: yes, married.  nicole: yes, and i hate him. do you have any american girl dolls in your house?   probably not anymore, but maybe?  nicole and i had our own when we were younger. have you ever gotten in trouble at school for wearing revealing clothes?   OKAY.  OKAY.  STORY TIME.  no, i never wore anything "revealing."  however, i once wore a cami beneath a see-through, floral mesh black shirt that had sleeves, so my arms were covered, as demanded.  however, this random-ass staff member LOST her SHIT one day when i wore it??  despite NO ONE ever mentioning anything the maaaany times i'd worn it before??? are you borrowing books from anybody at the moment?   i have two books that're actually jason's, but i guess i'm not exactly "borrowing" them anymore. have your parents ever questioned your virginity?   i know mom has, no idea about dad. roleplaying is super lame, agreed?   no??  it's very imaginative and freeing, honestly.  i've been a forum rper since like... 2007, but i've never done it and am not interested in doing it in real life.  irl, i'd be waaaay too fucking awkward. how're you feeling right now?   i'm feeling nostalgic and stressed.  worried.  as i said earlier in the survey, jason should've gotten his letter by now.  i doubt he's read it yet as he's probs at school or work, but when he gets it... i just wish i was a fly on the wall seeing what he's going to do.  tear it up and throw it out, or read it.  i've just never felt so close to having him back... y'know?  this is my last-ditch effort, and i just pray, i pray, it'll pay off.  no one knows just how much i love him, and how far i'd go for him.  just... damn, i'd do it all.  i just want him back. does/did either of your parents serve in the military?   no. is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to?   jason are you prone to illness?   not at all. are you on birth control?   only for period cramps.  mine were murderous beforehand. how bad are heartbreaks?   the worst things in the world. has a song ever given you an orgasm?   LMAOOOOOOO that's possible? have you ever made out in your room? last time?   plenty of times... but i don't remember the last... if the last person that you kissed said they wanted to marry you, what would you say?   i'd be too busy crying to talk. do you like your eyes?   i wish they were bigger. are you attracted to the last person that you fell in love with?   physically?  yeah.  emotionally?  obviously. do you have a big butt?   not at all.  it's p flat honestly. would you be a good salesperson?   NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO do you like hot sauce? if yes, what do you usually put it on?   YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS.  mainly hot wings, obv. can you do the 'emo hair flip'?   I WISH do you know anyone that has dimples?   me! would you ever make out in front of your best friend?   probably mildly, tbh.  like i can imagine french kissing in front of her, but no more than that. anything physically wrong right now?   yeah.  my stomach hurts, i'm twitching a lot, and my heartbeat is hectic.  my anxiety's high as fuck right now.  i feel like sobbing. ever had sex under water?   welp, that's on my bucket list now. the last person you kissed on the lips said that you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them?   if he left ashley, sure.  i'd believe him. you're having twins. what's your first reaction?   i'd honestly probably just say something like "well damn" or likewise... i don't want to have to carry more than one child at once, really.  i'd go through with it of course, but w/e. did your first love love you back?   i hope... do you have scars on your wrists?   no.  they faded long ago. do you like fedoras?   lmao okay imma get so much shit for this.  but yes.  jason wore one sometimes, and shit it was sexy.  and no, i do not like fedoras just because i associate them with my ex; i actually liked them before i knew him. have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything?   i have.  and i did. is there a band you like with amazing music but a bad vocalist?   i personally think dave mustaine from megadeth is the prime example.  his voice is horrid, yet simultaneously, enjoyable?  like i wouldn't want another vocalist for the band. is there a band/artist who has strange lyrics but you love them anyway?   rammstein.  they've got some pretty whacky songs. does your optimism sometimes hurt you?   lmao what optimism? have you ever painted a piece of furniture?   yes.  i helped jason paint his desk and dresser. do you believe the fortunes in fortune cookies?   no. what do you prefer more: waffles or pancakes?   pancakes.  they're softer. did you love playing hide and seek as a kid?   i did. got plans after you finish this?   honestly crying rn so probably keep crying. did you ever dream that you had a baby?   multiple times. have you ever been in a beauty pageant?   ha ha fuck that. did you sleep alone?   lmao when don't i? does your best friend approve of the last person you kissed?   she fucking hates him. where is the last person you kissed at this moment?   boy, wouldn't i like to know. describe your dream girl/guy?   jason.  there's your fucking description. been arrested? for what?   nope. tell us the story of your first kiss?   go read an old survey.  told it before.  just know i want to kiss him again.  for hours. do you sleep with stuffed animals?   no... but i honestly think i'm going to grab rebel (meerkat from j) tonight.  i need him, and i guess the closest i can get to him is something from him. how many stuffed animals do you think you have?   honestly, probably over 100.  they're stuffed in a closet, lol. favorite character from finding nemo?   dory was my babe. how long does it typically take you to get over people?   apparently, i never do. are you stressed out?   i'm fucking hyperventilating on tears and can't see what i type, what do you think??? so tell me one interesting thing about yourself.   i can somehow obsess over a man who doesn't want me to the point of ruining my life.  cool, right? do you own a trenchcoat?   fam i wish. have you ever owned a tire swing?   no. do you have a nervous twitch?   i do. are you currently listening to music?   "numb" by linkin park.  i'm having a classics binge. is it easy to get a job where you live?   we have the highest unemployment rate in the state.  so.  guess. is your signature legible?   it is. when was the last time you cried because you were angry?   i'm crying on and off right now and part of it is from anger, so... is there an animal that scares you?   WHALE SHARKS LIKE FUCK THAT are you any good at video games?   i'd like to think so. has a jehovah’s witness ever showed up on your doorstep?   omg yeah. do you have a step parent?   yes, but i don't refer to her as "mom."

okay sorry this is shorter than usual but honestly i’m a wreck right now and need to go sob with my mom.