#i got more sentimental and philosophical as i wrote

[wanderingmind867]

I'm not a very optimistic person, but I feel like I'm decently hopeful. If you're wondering how those two things can coexist, well... I just sort of figured that out myself. You see, I'm incredibly pessimistic. I'm always complaining, almost always angry or sad or stressed out about something (seriously, for being 19, my stress level is probably pretty bad some days). But I'm also someone who hates sadness. I hate sad movies, I hate death in fiction and tragic stories. I want stories that'll make me happy; ones that'll make me feel some hope and escapism.

That's why I like characters like Superman, I think. I might be sad and angry and miserable most of the time, but I'm never someone who enjoys darkness and edgy stories. I'm actually still scared of total darkness, honestly. I can't sleep without a tv on and some light and quiet noise coming from it. I'm neurotic, nervous, shy and lonely and extremely temperamental. A character like Superman is precisely what I need to feel better about myself. He's like an embodiment of what I need to feel better. Hope, happiness, the common and universal good of helping people. He's a light. And since I'm not that optimistic, I guess his hopeful nature just appeals to me.

In a way, it's like opposites. I'm not optimistic, so you'd think I'd like Batman more. And while Batman's slightly relatable to me, albeit for some of the wrong reasons (like his severe paranoia and loneliness and clear signs of never fully recovering from a tragedy he suffered early in life), he's relatable in ways that make me feel worse. He reminds me of some of my worse attributes, and of my many mood issues. Whereas Superman is encouraging, and his presence helps take that feeling of depression away. His colour scheme is even perfect. The blue of a beautiful afternoon sky... it's perfect.

[queer-reader-07]

Ok, saw your post asking for nosey asks. Not sure how nosey this is, but…

Info dump on radical hope? Please? Love to hear more of your take on it/thoughts about it 💕

omg i love that you asked this 😭

i'm going to take this as a chance to share a piece i wrote that went up on my ig (hence the formatting)

it was titled "'how do you keep your magic alive?' on radical hope, love, and resistance" and was actually inspired by a post you made a few months back <3

also see snippets from a different piece i wrote on hope:

i do not understand how anyone could bear witness to the atrocities in the united states alone and not be at least a little bit radicalized. how can any of you, especially you white folk, who claim and insist that you are left wing and progressive stand by as though nothing is wrong. as if none of this calls for change. as if none of it is evidence that the united states is routinely on the wrong side of history. as if it isn’t evidence of the united states being an imperialist and racist and oppressive country.

the fact that so many people can turn a blind eye and act like nothing is wrong. the fact that so many people have the choice to ignore the injustices and atrocities in this world. it’s unbelievable to me.

because i never got that choice. some of y’all have been able to move through life like it’s fine and haven’t been forced to grasp desperately for hope.

do you know how easy it is to fall into the pit of nihilistic and cynical despair when you’re worried every. single. day. that you or your loved ones won’t come home safely? do you know? because i know.

i know how hard i’ve worked to find hope. i know how hard i continue to work to hold onto that hope. because without it? there’s no point, there’s no reason to fight for change. hope is the only thing i have telling me that the change will come. and that the fight will be worth it.

and it’s hard. sometimes i can’t find it. sometimes i do think the world is an irredeemable pile of shit going up in flames. but that isn’t sustainable.

revolutions aren’t won by giving up. revolutions are won by the people who held onto hope, who believed it was worth it. because if it wasn’t worth it, all the death and loss and despair would’ve been for nothing.

and lastly, a piece of something i wrote for trans day of remembrance:

trans day of remembrance is a solemn day, yes. it is a day where i sit in the uncomfortability of knowing how many trans people have died for no reason other than ignorance and hate. but it is also a day to remind ourselves of the importance of liberation. the importance of fighting for trans rights and trans lives. the importance of holding onto hope.

we cannot allow the pain to swallow us whole. we cannot allow the deaths of our siblings, our communities to be for nothing. we cannot and will not forget.

radical hope sits at the core of my politic and belief system. it's why i believe what i do. radical hope is, without exaggeration, the reason i am alive today. as john green once said, "for me, finding hope is not some philosophical exercise or sentimental notion; it is a prerequisite for my survival."

i hope at least some of this resonated with you. i thought about writing something fresh but these pieces are pieces i'm proud of and really sum up the core of my beliefs on radical hope <3

[delta-queerdrant]

too much television watchin' got me chasin' dreams (Initiations, s2 e2)

I had a wild and extremely distracting August, but I am back, with no shortage of episodes in the hopper in need of my lovingly critical attention.

This time it's "Initiations"! Prior to now, we've only had two Chakotay episodes - "State of Flux," which introduces the Seska of it all, and "Cathexis," in which the poor guy spends the entire episode in a coma. So "Initiations" is a welcome, if flawed, opportunity to spend some more time with a generally underutilized and mishandled character.

There's a lot to like about this episode! It's not overly sentimental - instead, we get the kind of tense, understated cultural exchange that Star Trek is known for. Aron Eisenberg gives a sympathetic performance as the young Kazon-Ogla, and Chakotay brings a plausible mix of calculation and exasperation, as well as warmth, to their interactions.

While I have, ah, GRAVE issues with the Kazon, I was surprised and a bit pleased to see that their social structure is portrayed as culturally contingent and not biologically essential.

Buuuut yeah, let's talk about the racism of this show.

About halfway through Season 2, it became impossible to ignore that the STV co-creators were attempting a painfully on-the-nose race parable with the Kazon. I did some digging and, sure enough, the creators are on record explaining that the Kazon were inspired by "the Crips and the Bloods." To quote Jeri Taylor more fully, "We felt with the Kazon we needed to address the tenor of our times and what […] was happening in our cities and recognizing a source of danger and social unrest. We wanted to do that metaphorically."

👀

Even looking back from the rocky terrain of 2023, it's a bit baffling to contemplate how shameless white SF creators were in the nineties. They decided to use their goofy science fiction television show to exercise their white Boomer "war on crime" anxieties and they were proud of it! They wrote about their creative process in books. They used "Crips" and "Bloods" as stand-ins for the Kazon sects in their working notes. They gave them those goddamn wigs.

With all this in mind, it's hard not to watch this episode and hear "Gangsta's Paradise" in the background, a la Michelle Pfeiffer. Star Trek "races" have always been steeped in racist caricature, but it's egregious here, and as much as this episode attempts kindly, slightly condescending cultural relativism, it can't escape its own white gaze.

The result is shitty science fiction. We know, from US history and the history of other slave and colonizer states, that self-emancipated people do not uniformly descend into anarchic factionism as soon as they find freedom. The challenges of the postcolonial/post-emancipation state aren't the dangers of too! much! power!, but of material deprivation, cultural loss, generational trauma, and the reemergence of old forms of systemic oppression under new guises.

It's unfortunate, because we do need science fiction about post-emancipation and postcolonial futures. The Kazon's distaste toward "uniforms" is the one compelling aspect of their culture - I want more of that, and some acknowledgement of what their freedom means to them. Where are the Kazon philosophers? Where are the teachers and poets? Where are the visionary freedom fighters - they only revolted 26 years ago! Where the FUCK are the women? Voyager's creators had every opportunity to investigate these questions and, if nothing else, flesh out the story they wanted to tell. Are the Kazon rival polities (fighting over what?), organized criminals operating in some larger economic context, or something else entirely? Asking these extremely basic questions might have enabled them to decouple political questions from racial stereotypes.

It's notable that the Voyager casting director, perhaps losing their nerve, seems to have cast exclusively white actors for Kazon roles (compare to the at least somewhat multiracial Klingons). I wouldn't wish these roles on any Black actor, but the resulting character designs can't help but read as brownface.

My purpose in this cultural criticism is not just a takedown of a 30-year-old television show (though it's a satisfying takedown), but that (a) our culture is steeped in this stuff and (b) glaringly obvious anti-Black racism was treated as invisible by the white mainstream and (c) they could have done better. Most obviously, they could have had BIPOC writers in the writing room, but let's be clear, white writers should have known better. To my knowledge we still don't have antiracist Star Trek, but "less egregiously racist Star Trek" was within grasp in 1995 and these folks just couldn't be bothered.

Deeply flawed premise, decent execution. 2/5 uniforms that may yet decorate my walls.

[theroundbartable]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "theroundbartable "?

Haha^^

10 fics will be hard for me to do, since I'm very bad with names and I don't really.... Save any. I read, like, comment and move on.

Let's start with my name first. That's easier. Theroundbartable was a joke I made a couple years ago and I had it as the headline of my blog for a while when I was still Changelink23.

I'm not sure where it came from anymore... But I think it was kind of the basis for "connecting the dots". Which is a fanfiction I wrote that is about Gwaine and the knights making up stories about Merthur. It was their game to guess what Merlin was up to and gossip about Arthur's pining. And collectively, they'd make up the entire series on accident.

My idea then was that the knights gather in a bar, got really drunk and basically play DnD with the BBC Merlin storyline. So, the knights of the round table, but at a bar. And maybe that table was round. And maybe it was their regular seat and they called it the round bar table.

After Changelink outdid its purpose and I got really deep into the Merlin concepts, I decided my name should fit the theme. And what else am I doing here with you guys, other than exchange ideas about Merlin while half sounding on drugs? It's my idea of being part of this fandom, I think. All of us sitting at the round bar table and having fun with the series together.

Now, fanfics:

1. Dirty laundry by Gybslythe (Voltron)

It's just... It has sentimental value for me. The author put down the story because they were bullied, sadly. I just felt at home in that fanfiction because the places seemed so familiar to me and I caught the feeling. I could compare it with me visitung my godmother as a child and the described places were just the best moments of my entire childhood. Also the writing style is SOOO good! I mimicked it for a mock exam and that was my best English Exam during my A-levels.

2. Sadly I don't know the actual name of this one :/

Funnily enough, it was a Gravity falls fanfiction... And a Bill cipher x reader one at that, which is WILD that I ever read it. The Reader thing really repulses me. Lol. The thing is, it was very non intimate and the world building blew my mind. It started off with Bill realizing his existence and step by step, he'd give his knowledge to the one human that interested him and therefore lost his power. The reader, however, grew with the knowledge and in the end, wakes up as the entity Bill had been. Just, suddenly knowing she existed, no memories of ever being human. It was so well done and pulled at my philosophical brain, I built "Wired" off of it.

3. Not a story but a series...

Anything by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle. This is the series that made my Merlin writings what they are. I read these and they brought me SOOO much joy! I used to write really depressive stuff. Still do. But after reading these, I wanted to bring that joy, too. I really dug into my humor after that and it really changed how I see stories and even myself and became the foundation of what I focus on in dialogues.

4. From the grave to the cradle by larcluce

I admit it, I'm a bit biased for this one because I'm so proud of larluce for posting their first story after wanting ME to write it. As if I could have done it justice. It's so good for a first work and yeah... I'm very proud of them.

5. My soul has your claim, my soul is in flames

(Voltron) i'm currently reading that due to my online friend's suggestion and it's just... Maybe it's because I'm currently obsessed with it but it really is just that good. It's everything I want from a voltron fanfic :) obliviousness, pining, misunderstandings, and reassurance and Lance's death reveal. Like... Yeah. I'm a sucker for this story.

...

There are probably a lot more on my list but I'm REALLY bad at remembering stuff XD I remember when I stumble on them. I just listed the ones that are at the top of my head. Sorry it's not a full ten :/ I actually write more than I read too. When I start reading, my mind gets ideas and then I have to write them down and I somehow rarely finish fics over 100k words.

BuT wRiTinG tHEm iS fInE.

By the way, I haven't read "like the cycle of the year" yet. It's been on my list for a while but I haven't gotten around to it. I know it's a fandom favorite. But maybe that's what's putting me off. It'll probably make me feel inadequate after reading it and comparing it to my stuff and then I'll feel bad about my writing. Which would by both oddly motivating and off putting, lol.

As a little bonus, I'll just say what I'm currently working on/planning to work on for now.

1. second chances (Drarry)

I've been writing on that one for over a year. Which is the longest I ever spend on a fic and also the longest fic I've ever worked on in total and also the one I most edited. I'm writing it for my girlfriend. I feel like I'm getting closer to the end and I will post it once it's finished.

Jkr sucks, by the way. She'd probably hate the story which satisfies me greatly.

It's a time travel au, obviously, in which Drarry was a muggle therapist after the war. The magical world doesn't respond well to the idea of therapy but that's not Draco's concern even though it should be. He just wants to atone for his sins. Being thrown back in time gives him that chance... But it also awakens deep traumatic issues while he struggles to help the good side and betray his parents and friends in the meantime. It's very analytical of his character and he suffers a lot and it's a lot of fun to do.

2. Karak'nirir- the goddess of creation (Voltron)

A Lance centric Voltron fanfic in which he is gifted the power of a goddess. I'm trying to get back into world building and well... I just really love Lance XD

3. The clockroom (BBC Merlin)

... It's on hiatus... Again. It's so hard to find the time to work on it. But I will... At some point. Probably. I hate unfinished business.

4. ... I'll probably focus on the Merthur marriage concept next. In which Arthur tries to raise Merlin's status and has Merlin learn magic in order to defeat Emrys. Cause then Merlin would be druid king and they can get married XD i want to apply some stuff I'm currently learning through "my soul has your claim" and maybe that will change how I write in the long run, too.

5. .... I should be working on a book that's publishable. Maybe feedback from professional book sellers will help me improve my work also.

By the way... Having 4 wips kills my brain. I hate it. One fic at a time. That's how I work best. It's too much for me. I'm dying. I have no ideas how other people do it.

Anyway.

Thank you for the question, anon ^^ I hope I answered it well enough XD

[stories-me]

Potential Character for Mrs. Kelsey and Tumblr 10/22/2024:

Klaus Baudelaire, Scholarly Orphan:

What he’s from: “A Series of Unfortunate Events.”

Personality:

Klaus is extremely intelligent for someone a little older than twelve years old (at the beginning of the series). A running gag in the series is someone explaining what a word means, and he replying “I/We know what [Word] means.”

Klaus is acknowledged as the reader and researcher of his siblings. He is a bibliophile and loves nothing more than to read a good book. Having read more books than most people do in a lifetime, Klaus thrives off reading and would want no more than a good book, a comfy chair, and the warm glow of a reading lamp. He is known to have read a good deal of the Baudelaire’s private library before it was destroyed in the terrible fire in which the children’s parents both perished. He also reads whatever he can anywhere else including the remains of the V.F.D Library, Josephine Anwhistle’s grammar library, Dr. Montgomery Montgomery’s reptile library, Charles’ library, etc.

Klaus is always there to help his sisters with most words and phrases they do not understand and has a photographic memory, being able to remember many things he reads. This has helped the Baudelaire orphans immensely on various occasions. Klaus believed all his life that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem (something which the Baudelaires’ friend Quigley Quagmire agrees about), although after living with Count Olaf, he is no longer so sure about this.

Despite being knowledgeable, Klaus does not already know all things in all fields. For example, in The Bad Beginning, he doesn’t know what Molotov cocktails are. In The Ersatz Elevator, he doesn’t know what “xenophobe” means, so Jerome Squalor explains it.

Herman Melville is one of his favorite authors, and he particularly enjoys “the way Melville dramatizes the plight of overlooked people, such as poor sailors or exploited youngsters, through his strange, often experimental philosophical prose.” which is basically what A Series of Unfortunate Events is. He also admires Hammurabi. His least favorite poet is Edgar Guest, saying, “he was a writer of limited skill, who wrote awkward, tedious poetry on hopelessly sentimental topics.”

While generally polite and well-mannered like Violet, Klaus has a tendency to correct people when they are wrong, which can make him seem like a rude and annoying know-it-all at times. For example, he can’t help but correct someone who claims an eagle is a mammal instead of a bird. In the TV show, when someone says, “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”, Klaus replies, “Actually, you’ll catch the most flies with manure.” However, Klaus does not do this because he is trying to be elitist or condescending, but rather, he cares a lot about accurate information because he feels true knowledge can empower people and make the world a better place. He can also be rude in other ways. For example, in the The Reptile Room: Part One, he snaps at both Violet and the Broken-Hearted Crocodile.

While Violet tries to be hopeful and optimistic, Klaus seems to have a bit of a pessimistic side, especially his film version who shoves Captain Sham to the floor. He is often shown complaining and venting about his situations.

How he is like me:

We both are intelligent, are sometimes frustrated by life, and want to help others. Also, we both like to read, hate injustice, and have a form of support system (like my family, friends, etc., and his sisters). I mostly want to help some of my peers in Inspire do things correctly (or, at least, not bother me), but they can be very frustrating sometimes. Recently, though, I found out something. Here it is, straight from the email my parents got (and sent to me):

One of our staff (Britney) was leading a group about kindness and empathy. She went around the group and complemented each client individually, then had them take turns choosing a friend and saying something nice about them. One of the clients made a comment that “you are all my friends and I care about all of you.” Britney asked Michael how it makes him feel to know that the peer considers him a friend. He said “I did not know that. It makes me uncomfortable to be honest. Because most often, I’m frustrated with everyone.” He said he feels embarrassed. 

The peer responded “It’s okay. I know you don’t mean things you say. You’re still my friend, Michael.” He was tearing up and wiped his eyes. It was a very sweet moment and I think something he needed to hear. I just wanted to share. It was such a genuine moment for both of them. I love that Michael can be honest and vulnerable – knowing how he feels helps us address those feelings in a way where we can try to build him up. He’s got a lot of goodness in his heart.

Kelsey Notes:

Sometimes we have to refrain from wanting to correct others and just let them have their thoughts about something for the sake of a social situation/ conversation.

Sometimes, correcting someone in the middle of a sentence ends up stopping the natural flow of the conversation-

this can cause people to lose their train of thought and eventually just give up what they intended to talk about

Wanting to correct others can give them the wrong impression of you- that you are more concerned with things being “right’ instead of just engaging in a conversation

It can be conflicting when you are around others who do “annoying things” but you overall don’t dislike who they are

It can be hard to be patient when we are overly fixated on something that bothers us

Sometimes fixating on minor annoyances can be an opportunity to avoid real conversations

          i.e. it might come more naturally for us to get frustrated rather than ignore minor annoyances and maintain attention to a task or conversation happening around you

it is difficult to always think about things to talk about to make small talk with others. 

It can be easier to talk about what’s frustrating you rather than try to change the subject

          You can’t really initiate a change in subject if you don’t know what to talk about

[kafkaoftherubble]

年与年之间恍惚的阈限：末夜•旭日•无常

Part of this is cobbled from entries written on Paradehyde, 31st December 2023 at 10.38 p.m., and January 1st, 2024, both shortly after 12 am and 5.18 pm.

We haven't laid out our resolutions for this year. It should be done by this week.

Last year's Lyndises didn't make any resolution; we still didn't feel like the future would include us back then. The Knocking Lady didn't succeed in making any of us do what she really wanted, but she didn't really lose either. The future was tenebrous. Ungraspable. Packed with everyone else except us. There seemed to be no spot for us in the future; the future had overlooked us, we thought. It's like people; no matter how much I'm allowed to be around them, there will come a moment when I cease fulfilling their conditions, and they will leave, or I will fade away from them. It's not even out of malice. It just happens.

It's impermanence. Both the Lyndises and Fionn in the early days of the year already understood this. Hell, we understood this since we were kids. Impermanence. It's as natural as the sun rising and setting.

The year got better. My predecessors were really something. It wasn't really a mistaken boast when one of them declared, almost bitterly, "We always recover without help. We just do."

Though, it would be remiss of us to ignore the one who strived the hardest. "Without help" was a misnomer—this statement is only true if we treat Fionn as do the world out there does: as a non-person delusional existence attached to a person.

---

Last year's New Year Quote, according to Paradehyde, was Albert Camus' "One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

Last year's Word of the Year according to Lyndis of A Few Weeks Ago, was "interdependence." Because "dependent co-arising" was two words; it didn't fit the bill.

The Lyn at the Beginning of 2023 thought this would be "The Year of the White-Haired Boy." She meant Fionn, but the funny thing was that it turned out to be Gojo Satoru who hijacked that narrative. I didn't even realize I liked Satoru this much until that infamous Chapter 236. I could have gone on never knowing. And then he just took up my thoughts. And then I, supposed Dedicated Essayist for To Your Eternity, wrote essays on Jujutsu Kaisen. On Gojo Satoru, who already has a surplus of meta essays and whatnot.

Damn it.

I think another "Totally Trivial and Useless Realization" comparable to this Satoru shit is—okay, don't laugh—that we really, really, really... No wait, I said don't laugh, assholes! Don't laugh!

We really think, I mean, hypothetically... Like if a certain very famous Siddhartha was alive in our times, he might just be a cognitive scientist too. It seems so up his alley. I mean, yea whatever, he could totally become a philosopher and a teacher or something. But cognitive science, man. Come on. Makes too much sense when you really read what he said and thought about.

And I think—as in, I share the same sentiment as that unfortunate Lyndis who realized this while rambling about things with Lyishere—that if he were to be alive at this time, and I somehow got to know him personally... I think I'll like him a lot. I think I'll wanna befriend him and annoy the shit out of him and think about stuff with him and break his arguments apart if I don't think it holds. I would like to watch him all the way to his Awakening. I would like to study him. He would be very interesting to study—

"BRUH DID YOU JUST say your perfect partner is the Buddha?! HOLY SHIT, this is inSANE. OH MY GOD NEVER SAY MY STANDARDS ARE HIGH EVER AGAIN. LIKE MINE IS HIGH BUT NOT THE BUDDHA like bro ATEEZ MOUNTAIN MAN HIMBO CORE WITH OPPENHEIMER IQ IS ACTUALLY MORE NORMAL THAN THIS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK"

Yea. I don't think anyone else needs to know about this. Let's just keep it between us, and Lyi, yea?

Fionn? Nah. He's more like Ananda than Siddhartha. Doesn't stop him from being someone I care about the most in this entire world, though.

---

I really like the days between the years. "Zwischen den Jahren" or something. It's its own liminal space, you know. And we are drawn to liminal spaces like that. It feels like where we seem to belong.

The thing about these days is that it makes for the best time to observe anicca! You watch the days between Christmas and New Year crawl toward finality. If it has been a bad year, it's ending. If it has been a good year, it's ending. If it has been a neutral year, it's ending. Everything ends. Nothing lasts.

And then, at one point, I suddenly felt quite... scared!

2023 started out not too impressive, but it progressively got better. In fact, it ended up being a huge step up from even the years before it. It was really the most bliss we had for a while.

And then, when 2024 came, I suddenly thought—well, who says it's gonna keep getting better? Who says it's gonna plateau in this comfortable stability, either? Everything is impermanent. Good times are impermanent too. Whatever peace I'm feeling right now—it's impermanent. It won't last forever. Something could come and yank it away from me.

And that, Lyndis of the Future, was me forgetting what anicca really means. As eventful or as storied as a moment may be, it will die. As packed with the strongest sentiments we could possibly experience or label—joy or stress or pleasure or pain or rapture or despair—no matter how royally this moment struts on a stage right now... it will drop dead and become history. Being momentous changes nothing. Being nondescript changes nothing.

So, of course the 8-foot Tall Woman jeered at me. I was scared of losing these good days because I grew attached to something impermanent in the first place. She would laugh at Fionn, too, because he tends to grasp on good moments and mope if something he likes is ending—for example, the end of a pleasurable trip would really make him brood.

It's kinda annoying cause' we often are aware of our attachments—that means we are knowingly being dissatisfied/suffering/distressed. Knowingly! It's like already knowing you're gonna hate this game, and you still buy it and play it. It's different from not knowing you'd hate this game and buying it and playing it, ya know.

"There's no fear for one whose mind is not filled with desires," said The Guy We Could Have Been Very Close Friends With Me. Well, we're certainly not without desires, that's for sure.

---

Fionn told me while we were lying on the floor listening to fireworks that though he was still thinking over his resolutions, there was one thing he wanted to continue pursuing: equanimity.

Well, I'm afraid you ain't getting that if you and I can't solve the attachment-to-impermanence problem, man.

The thing, guys, is that his resolutions are our resolutions. It's not a separate enterprise he undertakes on his own while I can undertake my efforts on my own. We are dependently co-arisen. He cannot get to where he wants if we don't help. It's the same in the world outside, between persons despite their supposed independence as human beings. One person cannot succeed without the backing of their closest, immediate environment; that includes the people in their lives.

So his wanting to pursue equanimity means we have to be resolute in that, too. What a drag.

The bigger drag is how, even though we started understanding anicca at a young age, we still grasp. I honestly don't think we have that many excuses.

You can forgive someone who didn't know much about this philosophy for being distressed over their attachments, but we already knew this and verified this through our own experience, over and over, at a young age.

You can forgive Past Lyndises for falling short because they were young, brain-not-matured-yet, inexperienced, and trying hard to survive, yadda-yadda. But I? I have no excuses. I am in a better position than my predecessor in January 2023 already. I am heir to the sum of their knowledge, experience, and thoughts. I honestly have no excuses.

I actually kinda like that. The fact that I have no excuses, I mean. To even arrive at this stage, where I'm living in such an optimal state as to have no excuses, means all of the previous Lyns have been skillful. They had, despite their circumstances, acted skillfully enough that now I am reaping the benefits! Isn't that swell? They planted causes that allow me good effects. Kamma done well, y'all. That's affirming shit right there!

I wouldn't want to let my Future Lyns down.

I wouldn't want to let Fionn down.

---

Emotions like anger and anxiety aren't permanent. I mean, they always seem permanent when they are happening, but that's an illusion. They cease on their own, ya know.

The reason why they don't cease, one of Past Us realized, is because you consciously or unconsciously extend them beyond their longevity.

Think of them as a flame on a candle. Before the flame dies out—which it will on its own—you keep lighting new candles with this flame. So the original candle of anxiety is dead, and yet new ones continue its existence... similar to a rebirth. You keep lighting new candles each time the old one is on its way out.

So this emotion is sustained. It looks like a blazing field, but if you look closely, it's really a sea of candles. And if you are heedful enough to refrain from lighting new candles, then you'll see even the strongest emotion die on its own course. That's just impermanence doing its work.

I wonder if this is, oddly enough, one solution for the impermanence of... well, bliss? Joy? What was that phrase again? Dittha-dhamma-sukha-vihara? Abiding in ease, here and now?

Anyway, lighting up candles with the flame of Ease before it die would mean sustaining Ease beyond its expiry date, right?

But Fionn raised a good point: I have to be really heedful of what candle to light, because if I accidentally light the ones of passion and excess joy, then I'll be stuck in a frenzy of lighting them forever before the flames run out.

It's got to do with dopamine. The pain in the death of "Good Times" is really the effect of lowered dopamine levels. The stronger the reduction, the stronger the crash. And dopamine acclimates itself to prolonged rewards and sets it as its new normal; it's how a brain functions. Something great will become merely good over time.

If I light the wrong candles, then I will lock myself into a constant fear of the flames blowing off, i.e. the crash of dopamine. The candles of passion are always getting shorter and shorter as dopamine acclimates itself to rewards, so I'll have to scramble to find more and more "arousing" (longer) candles to light. But that raises the "normal" dopamine level to even greater heights, making its crash even more terrifying and painful should it happen. I will only be even more scared.

Do you see what Fionn and I are seeing? We'll be enslaved by this fear. I'll be doomed to this Sisyphean work of lighting candles and stressing over when the crash is coming. It will be worse than Sisyphus's Rock-Rolling, because the slope keeps getting steeper, the rock larger, and the summit taller.

Sooner or later, not even the candles themselves will become joy. They will just morph into anxieties as if fucking Mahito had touched them and Mui Tenpen the shit out of them.

That's so unskillful! 嫌だ！

----

Which comes back to the question: what are we supposed to do?

Well... "What are we really trying to achieve" is a good question, I suppose:

Are we trying to extend a feeling of joy, or the longevity of "good things," beyond its expiry?

Or are we trying not to fear the impermanence of good things?

Which is it?

The more skillful goal seems to be the second one, methinks. The first is just good old "attachment" cosplaying as noble intent. Besides, the second goal is related to equanimity itself.

Oh, this is great! A good question to ponder during meditation! It will get us a tad bit closer to Fionn's resolution! Yes, this is a good start!

[tae-cup]

Gouache on Calculators by Kim Taehyung | Calcu-LATER (1)

Pairing: Art Major!Kim Taehyung x Math Major!Reader, Jimin x reader-ish

Summary:  Math never fails you. The numbers might not always make sense, but you know there must be a solution. Everything fits together like a perfect puzzle, like your tidy life and solitary living…until Kim Taehyung spills paint all over your notebook. He, quite literally, trips into your life.

Genre: College AU, Fluff, Angst, Angst with happy ending, Light Topics, humor

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Uh, it’s not this dark i swear,  slight Internalized homophobia, Drinking, Cheating, uh uh uh it’s going to be a ride.

Word Count: 2.7k Words

A/N: Ah! I’m so excited to present this absolute mess of a story! Let me know your thoughts and if you’d like to be added to the taglist! Also also also, this chapter is short, but I promise the next one is a little over twice this length!

Other: 

Series List

Masterlist

Previous (teaser) | Next 

       Mr. Erich was a slow talker. You could almost understand why Jimin was falling asleep next to you. Almost. Jimin wasn’t someone you really considered a close friend, but then again, you didn’t have many close friends. 

      The teacher continued droning on about number theory. You placed your head down on the desk, but your hand continued writing your notes. Staying up late last night wasn’t the best idea, but you needed to write an essay on Anaxagoras, a greek philosopher. 

     You hated philosophy. But you loved your mother and your mother had urged you to take a class that didn’t only involve numbers. 

     Jimin was snoring peacefully and you glanced over at him. It wasn’t exactly your issue so you looked away and went back to following the lesson. A few minutes later, he jerked awake and groaned audibly.

      A few people in the seats around looked at him quizzically. You shrunk lower in your seat. You didn’t want to attend class, too many people and it made your heart race, but you needed to pass this class and so you, sadly, must attend.

        Many knew Jimin as the son and heir to BigHit, the large business conglomerate that had wealth that made even the 1% drool, but to you he was just that guy who fell asleep in Calculus and cheated off your notes. Objectively, this was annoying. Subjectively…

     You felt him staring out of the corner of your eye. He was looking pointedly at your notes. Subjectively, you didn’t care enough. If he didn’t pay attention in class, that was his problem and you didn’t feel one way or another. At the bottom of your notes, you wrote, Pay attention. 

He wrote that down too without a second thought. 

   You were busy. You were always busy. In fact, you had an extremely important Algebra assignment to do and you knew you could get it done as long as no one bothered you-

“Oh my god.” 

    A man with blonde hair and a light blue beret stood in front of you. In his hands was a tray of spilled over paints; paints that were now on you. You tilted your head. 

“Can you move?” You spoke up after a while. 

“I’m so sorry!” He seemed unfrozen and hurried after you as you brushed by. 

“Uh, can you go away?” 

“I know you’re probably really mad! Do you want money or something? I can buy you new clothes or-wait that sounds weird.” 

“Clothes?” You glanced down and then realized the state of your wardrobe. 

    You were splattered with red, green, and yellow paint. You then glanced at your notebooks, also, helpfully, coated in a thin layer of paint. More importantly, your beautiful TI-84 calculator was ruined. 

     You opened your mouth, furiously holding up your calculator, but the man continued rambling on. Annoying. But somewhat entertaining, you supposed. 

“You got paint on my-” 

“Let me take you out! Somewhere nice? I’ll buy you a coffee!” He tore off some notebook paper and scribbled some numbers down. You paused. What was he doing? 

“Besides, it’s not paint, it’s Gouache.” He announced proudly, shoving the paper into your already full arms. 

“But that- you still got-”

“Taehyung!” Jimin called from behind you. You turned and the man winced. “Oh, Taehyungie has never been too neat, sorry about him. Anyway, we gotta go, Tae. Yoongi just called and Jungkook set fire to the carpet again.” 

“He really needs to change his major to something a little less dangerous.” 

“What is this, the third time?”

“I don’t know, but we need to go, Tae-”

“What’s his major?” You questioned.

“Philosophy.” They both said in unison. 

“Anyway gotta go!” Taehyung grabbed Jimin’s hand and started speed walking away. 

“You got paint on my calcu-”

“Later!” Jimin shouted over his shoulder, his eyes lingered on you for a moment.

    Did you have something on your face? You swiped at your cheek and he grinned, turning back around and following Taehyung.

    Once they were out of sight, you juggled your notebooks around until you could successfully pick up the paper. 278-367-5433 ;). You scoffed at the numbers, something you did often, and crumpled it up. 

“Art majors. What a waste of trees” You muttered and trudged back to your dorm. 

 “I’m so stuck on this problem, Y/N, you’ve gotta help me.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re my friend?”

“I’m not your friend, Jimin.” You moved the phone to your other shoulder and continued working. 

“But-”

“Bye.” 

      You hung up and groaned, massaging your temple. Your room could be seen as lonely. Plain white paint sat on dull gray walls. There wasn’t a speck of trash or clothing littered on the floor. You lived an orderly life. Tidy. Your eyes strayed to your hamper. 

      Your clothes from earlier were spilling out of the top. A splash of color on a black and white canvas. You scrunched your nose and looked away in disgust. You had never understood the point of art. What did anyone ever see in it? It was meaningless. You looked back to your notes. 

      These numbers meant something. They meant the height of a ladder leaning against a building, the measurements of a bridge, and where Mary Jane would end up in 400 minutes if she’s going five miles an hour on a circular road. It was pretty deep. 

      You looked at your watch. Then you moved your attention to the window. Your dorm overlooked the sprawling center of campus. The place was a concrete playground, but with the extensive arts program, it was always covered in colorful murals and art pieces. 

       You didn’t have a roommate and you liked it that way. You had always preferred to be alone. Others called you anti-social, but, to put it another way, if there was an apocalypse and it was just you and another person alive in the entire world, you would probably leave them for dead. Life was simpler alone. 

       Besides, you wouldn’t have to deal with people chastising you about not picking up on “social cues” or whatever the hell those were. How were you supposed to know that when someone leans in real close, they want to kiss you? It seemed quite arbitrary in your mind. 

      Your phone was buzzing again. 

“What do you want?” 

“Please Y/N! This. Is. Really. Hard.” 

“Jimin, figure it out. How are you going to pass midterms if you can’t understand algebra?” 

“Ouch.”

“I mean that in the most sincere way.” You relented. 

“You’re so mean, Y/N.”

   Your eyebrows rose. That certainly wasn’t the first time you’d heard those words. 

“I’m honest. You could go ask the teacher or something.”

“He told me to ask you.”

“That doesn’t sound right.”

You heard him let out a dry laugh on the other side and rustling of sheets. 

“You’re really good at math, Y/N.”

“I hate number theory.” You objected. 

“But that doesn’t mean you’re not good at it!” 

“Shut up. I’m going to hang up now.” 

“Wait no-”

Beep. 

     People were annoying. That’s what you had decided. You weren’t trying to stick out like a sore thumb, but getting in the flow of other people and understanding all the shit they wanted you to understand was hard. 

     You put your pencil back down onto the page and continued writing. You reached for your calculator, groaning when you realized the paint had covered the display. 

“Great. Just great.” 

      You set the calculator aside, feeling a little sentimental. After all, you’d had that thing since seventh grade. Your phone buzzed again. Jimin jesus chr-

“Yes?” You picked up. 

“What is this So ka toe ah everyone is telling me about.”

“How did you pass trig without sohcahtoa?” 

“Tell me!” 

“Ask Taehyung.”

“Taehyung is an art major and hasn’t had to be proficient in math since the fifth grade!” 

“Sin, cosine, tan. Bye.” 

Beep. 

     You massaged the crease between your eyebrows and your attention got caught by the darkened campus. The gross fluorescent campus lights lit up the concrete. Freshmen were running wild, happy with their newfound freedom, and seniors were leaving for clubs or parties. The lights in the dorm buildings across campus began turning on one by one. 

     You searched your pockets for the crumpled paper. When you didn’t find any, you made your way to your hamper and dug around the pockets of your paint smothered clothing. 

“Aha.” You unfolded the paper and dialed the number. You didn’t feel like talking, but Jimin was driving you up the wall. 

“Taehyung, right?” You said as he picked up. 

“Yeah? Changed your mind?”

“No. I’m going to make this short and sweet, tell Jimin to stop calling me for math help. Thanks.” You hung up and went back to your work. 

     So, technically, you were done with work, but being done with work meant that you were free and if you were free, that meant you had no excuse not to go out. And you needed an excuse to avoid people. You opened up your textbook and frowned at the various graphs and equations. You had already done all of them for fun this summer. 

“Hey, Y/N, a bunch of us in the dorm are going out, wanna come?” The hall monitor knocked on your door. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be doing your job?” You looked back with a confused expression. 

“Charming as ever I see.” She chuckled. 

“Come on, Jasmine, Y/N never wants to go out anyway.” Another girl shouted. 

“I know! I just wanted to be nice!” Jasmine shouted out, as if you weren’t right there. 

“What would be nice is if you left.” You said, your voice monotone and matter of fact. 

“Alright then. If you need anything, just text or call.”

“You won’t pick up anyway.” You whispered under your breath, but Jasmine was already gone. 

 “You forgot that this has to be positive, Jimin.” You leaned over him like an overbearing mother. 

“But that doesn’t make sense!”

“You’re dividing two negatives. They cancel out.” You explained, a frown twisting onto your face. 

       There was a long silence as you watched him scribble down the new numbers. The library was relatively quiet. The giggles of a group in the corner would pierce the peaceful ambience every now and then, but the librarian would always shush them and they’d die down. 

     Jimin cleared his throat, pulling your attention back to this study session. You moved across the table and sat at your seat again. You just sat and stared at him. He was intriguing. He made silly mistakes that he should honestly understand for being a junior in college. His eyes flicked up to you three times and back to his paper. 

“Well, this is awkward.” He said after a while. 

“Is it?” You shrugged and continued staring him in the eye. He shifted awkwardly and looked away. 

“Why are you staring at me?” He whispered. 

“Oh, do you want me to stop?” 

His mouth opened and closed then he looked back at his paper, his ears turning red. 

“Are you coming on to me?” He murmured. 

“What? No, why would I do that?” You said, disgusted, and returned to your work. 

       To be clear, you weren’t disgusted with him, but you were disgusted at the idea that you would come onto him. After all, you were just here for math and Jimin was just here because he needed help studying, obviously. He looked like you had just slapped him. You honestly didn’t see an issue. 

“You know, my parents are pretty traditional and they want me to bring a girl home this holiday season. You’re the only girl I’m really close friends with.” He began. You felt his eyes on you and you looked up. 

“Uh, alright? That sounds like a problem. Who are you going to take then?”

“You’re really dense, aren’t you?”

“I’m not dense.” You defended. “You need to expand your friend group.” 

“I was wondering if you could come along?”

“What?” Your furrowed your eyebrows. “Absolutely not.”

“It wouldn’t be anything romantic, just-” 

    A man with mint green hair and a slim build walked past and Jimin’s eyes followed him. You followed his line of sight. 

“....We can just go as friends, you know?” 

You nodded solemnly. “Just friends, Jimin.”

“You’ll go?”

“Only if you promise me it’s just friends because I really don’t want to have to deal with romance.” You huffed, picking up your pencil and jotting down numbers. “You already have my number, just send me the details.”

“Thank you!” 

      The librarian shot him a glare and he lowered his voice. 

“You’re a real lifesaver.” He whispered. 

“I know.” You narrowed your eyes and then began to pack up your things. “I’ve got a lot of stuff to do. Bye.” 

“What, but we just-” 

“Yeah I know, but I’m sort of sick of talking to people and I helped you with your work so I’ve got to go work on Philosophy.” 

“Philosophy? I didn’t take you as a philosophy person.”

“Me neither.”

     Aha! You knew you recognized Taehyung from somewhere. You ran your finger over the screen. The list of student names in your philosophy class was displayed. 

“Kim Taehyung. KTaehyung24@WillowsUniversity.edu.” You murmured 

“Whatcha doing?” Jasmine leaned against your doorway. 

“Just...research.” You explained lamely. 

“I see.” The hall monitor came inside and sat on your bed. “You never go out, Y/N. I’m worried about you.” 

“Okay, and?” You glanced at her as she sat cross legged on the bed. Great. She’s wrinkling the sheets. 

“Well, as a friend-”

“We’re not friends.”

“-and hall monitor, I command that you go out this weekend. Do something with your college life. I think you might regret not doing anything fun later on.” She prodded softly. 

“This is fun.” You gestured to the scattered math homework pages across the desk. 

“Right… well, just keep it in mind.” She stood and moved to your door. 

“Jasmine?”

“Yeah?” She paused, turning to look at you. You read over your philosophy work and then your essay.

“You ever think that there are so many people in your life, but no one is really a part of it?”

“You’ve got to stop with the philosophy, Y/N. It feels weird coming from you.” She laughed.

       You didn’t find anything funny in that. She looked awkwardly from you to the door, expecting you to chuckle along, but you remained silent, blinking at her. She shivered and left without another word. 

      The second she was gone, you stood abruptly and smoothed out the bed sheets, but as you did that, more wrinkles appeared on the other side. You felt the anxiety pouring out of you and you rushed to smooth down the other side, but more and more wrinkles kept appearing like disgusting bugs that wouldn’t die. You let out a frustrated sigh and tore all the sheets off your bed. 

       You took the ruler off your desk and measured out the width and height, then calculated how much extra cloth is needed on both sides for it to be perfectly centered. Then you marked it off and remade the bed. You felt yourself calming as order was restored. 

    You thought back to Jasmine’s words. Go out? Absolutely not. Then you looked at the crumpled paper on your desk. 

“Fine, Jasmine.” You pursed your lips and dialed the number once more. 

“Y-ello?” Taehyung’s voice rumbled through the speaker. 

“I want a coffee, but I’d prefer to go somewhere quiet.”

“Straight to the point I see.”

“Polite niceties take up too much time. When are you available?” “Whenever you are, love.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Alright. Uh…” There was a long pause and you heard rustling in the background. “Sorry just grabbing a piece of paper.”

“Why are you apologizing? There’s nothing to apologize for.” You said quickly, eager to get this conversation over with. 

“I’m free this Saturday?” 

“Works for me.” You said. You didn’t need to check your calendar to know you had nothing to do. 

“Great see you then.” He said stiffly.

“Yup.”

“Uh...bye?”

“Alright.” 

Beep. 

      Now it was time to overthink the arrangement until Saturday.

Taglist: N/A

Previous (Teaser) | Next 

[lady-plantagenet]

What are your top ten novels about the Wars of the Roses? And why?

I think it’s obvious by the length how enthusiastic I was to answer this ask xx thank you for asking me and giving me also an opportunity to make a masterlist of some sorts of all my reviews xx. But you know? I speak like quite the expert but in reality I’ve read very little histfic about TWOTR because I just newly got back into this hobby (about a year ago) and have little time in general so tbh the last three books on this list I do not personally care for but since I’ve read so little novels of this kind they are here nonetheless hhh (so please people, give me no angry asks asking me why I am endorsing PG, I’m not).

1. The Last of the Barons by Lord Edward Lytton-Bulwer

This is quite possibly the best book I’ve ever read in my life. The gap between these books and the rest is a chasm the size of the world and I wpuld genuinely reccomend this book as an actual piece of literature to anyone, not just TWOTR fanatics. It is written in 1840, in quite old timey lingo and it centres around Richard Neville 16th Earl of Warwick, but in the true tradition of a real classic it is more than just a character drama, it astutely showcases the purpose of Warwick and what he did in the context of his wider world and doesn’t just chalk it up to personal greed. There is also this fascinating subplot about courtship, science and such. Hell, you even get this eccentric ‘natural philosopher’ guy called Adam Warner who tries to make something like a steam engine and gets employed as an alchemist by Jacquetta and Edward IV.

From a historical standpoint it is quite biased as the author himself was a politician (and an actual baron) and tbh I don’t completely agree with his interpretation of history and I can see some of the Victorian inluences slip in, but some of his takes are very refreshing and he clearly consulted the primary sources. I am much interested in his philosophy and life outlook though and while I don’t think his Warwick is the Warwick, I think he (Lytton-Bulwer) understood him like no other novelist could. As for the writing style... here’s an excerpt of a good reads review that I agree with and tells you all you need to know:

“Of course, such a style of writing no longer exists. The language used is essentially foreign to us. But the nobility, the pride of this story work their ways into your bones, your heart. You will yearn for honor once you have left it.“

Basically, go type it into google and see what I mean. You don’t even need to purchase this book it’s all online at the first click on Gutenberg.

Nevertheless, I’ve posted excerpts of it here, here and here =)

2. The King’s Grey Mare by Rosemary Hawley Jarman

This book (unlike the latter) has zero actual historical value. Actually, it sort of does in the way that it hilights certain real events that most people are unaware of when it comes to its protagonist: Elizabeth Woodville, eg the whole Cooke tapestry affair and the whole Desmond affair. Both things which I still stand on the fence about (if you don’t know what I’m talking about send em another ask or pm me). But like, it isn’t political, philosophical or such in any way like the first book, yet you still feel like you are *there* in the 15th century - by the time I finished reading it my heart was wrung dry and I kind of fell into a down for a couple of days because I just wanted to feel the magic again. If anyone would ask me I would give this 5 stars because it perfectly achieved what it set out to do (I can’t expect all books to go above and beyond like #1), it made me feel for the characters who were super complex, was accurate historically and even when it wasn’t it made sense, it got very creative with its themes (which I like to see because I am not interested in reading the exact same story over and over again) and the prose was absolutely magical and brought all the depth to this novel. I’ve read classics with less flowing and poignant prose, yes actual classics!

This book also switches POVs quite a lot (basically it headhops because it’s written in omniscient- but whatever, rules are meant to be broken), so you’ll get to see many of your faves in there, Edward IV, Margaret of Anjou and Grace Plantagenet feature quite heavily. One thing that disappointed me is that it wasn’t really Edward IV/Elizabeth Woodville (at the time I bought it for that), she never really likes him and his love for her kind of wanes towards the end. If you’re not too bothered about that then I say go buy it.

3. The Daisy and the Bear by K L Clark

I put this here because we are already going into shakier territory when it comes to this list. This is kind of the last *really* good, truly five star one. It is a long spoof about TWOTR but god it’s smart! Yet, It does not take itself seriously and has Margaret of Anjou/Warwick the Kingmaker as a crackship and centrepiece and had me in stitches the whole time. I’ve written a long detailed review for it here.

4. Death be Pardoner to Me by Dorothy Davies

This is a novel about George Duke of Clarence. Quite possibly the only novel ever written about him in existence and boy is it a trip - the author claims to have channelled him (she’s a medium). I’ve written a detailed review for it here. I read this last spring and my views have unfortunately changed, the thing is, I’ve come to find out through my research that this was quite possibly a hoax as there are some indisputable inaccuracies (Ankarette Twynyho’s age, the details of Isabel’s death - we *know* she did not die from childbirth, Isabel did not reunite with him after Tewksbury 1471, but right before Christmas 1470). It’s also quite Richardian (the author admitted) and she could have *had* me had she not chose to divulge it in the foreword. Nevertheless, I still like this book because it did get to me at certain points and it’s good quality as a novel, I remember shedding a tear at one point even which is extremely rare for me but I think that says more about my sentiment for the subject matter than the book itself.

5. We Speak no Treason by Rosemary Hawley Jarman (not yet finished, so ranking may vary)

I haven’t finished it yet, so I’ll leave it here for now. This book is a Richardian book about Richard III, but I can’t get enough of this author, I haven’t found anyone to replace her with. The prose is magnificent as usual and I must confess that I’m happy that this book is told through the POVs of three OCs and not Richard, he remains rather elusive and tbf I find the three OCs very interesting and at this point I’m more interested in their stories than anything else. Of course, Richard III is still a fairly prominent part of this novel (even when he doesn’t appear) and it has led to me getting annoyed quite a bit. Given who I am I fumed massively at that one aside that Clarence and Edward have bastards whereas Richard isn’t like that... like are you serious?? At one point the author reassociated the Games and Playes Chesse book to Richard when it was in reality dedicated to Clarence and I got even more annoyed. Leave the poor figure something ma’am? Whatever, as a book about three medieval commoners it’s fantastic and that’s what I pretend it is.

6. Wife to the Kingmaker by Sandra Wilson

Nothing more to add than what I wrote in my (super-long) detailed review on here. This is the case because I read it very recently. This is a novel about Anne Beauchamp 16th Countess of Warwick, it’s ranked higher than Sunne because though it’s less accurate it’s got panache.

7. The Sunne in Splendour by Sharon K Penman

I feel very strongly about this Richard III book and what it represents. I wrote a long detailed review about it on here and a follow-up post on the discussion is here ft my awesome mutual @beardofkamenev ‘s insights also thrown into the mix. Xx

8. The White Queen by Philippa Gregory

This is a step higher than the other two because this book pretty much changed my life. The thing is, I read it translated into my own language by an extremely talented translator and I was also only about 11/12 years old so it was all very impressive to me then. This book about Elizabeth Woodville effectively introduced me to the TWOTR; an interest that has never really left me these past ten years (though at one point (ages 14-19) it was quite wane). It’s not a good book by any standard (I was quite shocked when picking it up at a bookstore, I had found that when read in the original language it lost all its magic), but I owe a lot to it and some people who now endlessly discourse about how bad PG is need to recognise their debt of gratitude and be a bit more respectful, I think. That is of course unless you came into this era via different media, but you got to admit that a massive part of us got to this place through TWQ, though we outgrew it.

10. The Red Queen and The Kingmaker’s Daughter by Philippa Gregory

Exact same commentary as above, just objectively not good books. Flat characterisation, misunderstanding of the era, historical innacuracies which don’t add anything, lack of nuance in prose which often dances too close to *gasp* YA prose *shudders*. But these are lower because I don’t owe them a debt of gratitude as I do TWQ. Funnily enough, they are still better than the series.

[jeannereames]

How do you think Philip felt about Alexander in general? Some historians describe it as a love/hate thing. I know in the Oliver Stone film there is a scene where Philip (after the Attalus debacle) tells Alexander that if he embarrasses him like that again, he’ll kill him and then five seconds later tells Alexander that he missed him, and I know how inaccurate that film is but that scene stood out to me.

What Did Philip Really Think about Alexander?

The problem with deciding what Philip really thought about Alexander involves the layers of bias in later authors that obscures what Philip (or Alexander) thought. Neither left us direct evidence from their own writing. All of the following are true:

1) Some of the Successors wanted to reject Alexander’s fusion policy, and rule with a more absolute hand, or in the case of Kassandros and the later Antigonids, rule in Macedonia. Ergo, they chose to elevate and emulate Philip. (Diodoros would call him “the greatest of the kings of Europe”…because Alexander wasn’t viewed as a king of Europe.)

2) Some of this is part of the anti-Asian sentiment in Greece. Some of it was anti-Alexander sentiment. (And some was both.) Anti-Alexander sentiment could be beefed up if Alexander could be implicated in his father’s murder, which cast doubt on his legitimacy and also was a religious afront (kin murder, especially of parents).

3) Hostility to Olympias in the Successor wars led to stories that she set Alexander against his father, and egged it on. (This is sometimes a separate thread from anti-Alexander sentiment.)

4) Later authors wanted to use father-son antipathy to illustrate their own philosophic or moralizing ideas about ambition and power. Especially if they wanted to underscore “hubris” as he claimed Ammon as his “father.” That’s easier if they can make it out that he hated Philip, a “mere man.”

5) Some modern scholars assume there was a conflict between them (and may also believe Alexander was involved in Philip’s murder), and have written articles about it. E.g., E. A. Fredricksmeyer’s “Philip and Alexander: Emulation and Resentment” Classical Journal 85.4 (1990), 300-315.

All this led later authors to exaggerate, or outright invent, conflict between Philip and Alexander. But we’re not always sure what IS invented or exaggerated. After all, conflict between teen boys and their fathers is as old as the hills.

As I noted in my post about Who Killed Philip?, some hints remain in the sources that—contra the narrative of hostility—Philip took an interest in Alexander, and even went out of his way to educate him, and they were not always on a hostile footing, and that he and Olympias got along, at least some of the time. Some examples (and occasionally these are found in sources outside the 5 main ones, such as Plutarch’s Moralia, not his Life).

--Philip allowed Olympias to bring in her uncle to oversee Alexander’s childhood education, and this was no small investment.

--Philip hired *Aristotle* to educate Alexander, and fixed up Mieza as a private school, then paid to rebuild (and resettle an entire town) as Aristotle’s fee. Yes, he and Aristotle had old ties, and Aristotle was not as famous as he later became, but that is, again, a great deal of effort and money to give Alexander the best intellectual start he could.

--Philip took Alexander on campaigns starting at least in his teens, to introduce him to war.

--Philip bought him Boukephalas, even after Alexander mouthed off about it, when Alexander showed he could ride him. (Discount the prophetic, “This country is to small for you” nonsense.)

--Philip made Alexander regent when he went to Thrace (for that 3-year stint).

--He and Alexander wrote letters back and forth, where Philip gave Alexander all sorts of advice about running a country.

--He let Alexander name a town after himself. (I made this into a conflict in the novel, but that’s not in the original sources.)

--Philip and Olympias, together, hired a hetaira (Kallixena) to entice Alexander to have sex. Apparently they agreed on this.

--He gave Alexander a major command at Chaironeia.

--He sent Alexander to Athens as his emissary/ambassador.

--He listed Alexander directly after his own name in the Corinthian League treaty.

--He invited Alexander to his wedding to Kleopatra.

--He brought Alexander back to Macedon even after Alexander took off to Illyria (long-time enemy of Macedon).

--He had Alexander walk immediately in front of him into the theatre on the day of his death, the position of honor just below the kingship.

------------------------

Now, you look at all of those things, and tell me Philip hated Alexander…. Alexander did do some stupid shit, especially as his confidence grew. Teen boys are inclined to that. We do our best to keep them from doing the sort of stupid shit that gets them killed, until the neurons in the forefront of their hormone-hyped brains calm down.

I’d also add that Alexander did a lot of things, especially later as he aged, that were direct copies of his father’s political and military policies. In fact, among his “last plans” (assuming any are true) was the plan to build a ginormous pyramid to honor Philip, back home in Macedonia.

[scientificphilosopher]

We are in this together. We are one. The world fights together. No doubt you’ve heard such refrains lately, perhaps as hashtags or commercial voiceover reminders from the likes of Wal-Mart and Wells Fargo. As we face the shared experience of a world brought to its knees by an invisible nucleic acid molecule in a protein coat, ruthless corporations are, of course, quick to capitalize and, for the sake of optics and stock prices, remind us that we are in this together.

I hate to count myself among the ranks of such greedy syndicates, but, cash-grabs aside, it is a FACT that we are in this together. On the 50th anniversary of Earth Day, I want to take this opportunity to amplify that fact. This is not merely a hollow or romantic sentiment. The best evidence, both philosophical and scientific, points to our interconnectedness. Our cosmological models show that all of life shares a common ancestry — biologically and chemically. The trees, the bees, the apes, you, me, and, yes, even coronaviruses, all descended from the same ancestor. And more, all the bits of energy that allow us temporarily to feel as if we are individuals, all of it blazed into the cosmos in an unfathomable, silent roar some 14 billion years ago. We are the cooling embers of the same cosmic fire.

Our subtle but absolute interconnection also means that the consequences of even the smallest of our actions will reverberate and have impacts that are potentially profound and positively unpredictable. Our seeming disconnection from each other and the so-called 'outside world', our seeming smallness, our seeming insignificance — none of these hold true in a reality so entangled. Truly, fundamentally, what we do matters. It affects more than we can possibly know. We must maintain some responsibility for this since, as Carl Sagan wrote, ‘In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.’ It is up to us. Protect our home. It’s all we got.

We are literally and inextricably in this together. Let's remember that every day is Earth Day. It cannot be any other way.

[altayo]

Hoy se cumplen veinticinco años de la muerte de Eileen Chang (張愛玲), que en 1975 se presentaba así:

“I spent most of my life in Shanghai where I was born, the child of a blind marriage that ended in divorce. My father was a ‘gentleman of leisure,’ my mother a painter who traveled and stayed in Europe. However, they both believed in an early acquaintance with Chinese classics and I had long hours of tutoring since the age of seven. I went to a large Episcopalian school for girls for six years and discovered that my family was not as different as I had thought, if more extreme. The Chinese family system was falling apart, generally held together only by economic factors.  I was going to London University over my father’s objections but was prevented by the Second World War. My mother sent me to the University of Hong Kong instead. The Pacific War caught up with me there in my junior year, so I went back to Shanghai. I made a living by writing stories and film scripts and became increasingly engrossed in China. It took me three years to make up my mind to leave China after the Communist takeover.

“After I got to Hong Kong I wrote my first novel in English, The Rice-Sprout Song, which was published in the U.S. I have lived in the U.S. for the last ten years, largely occupied with two unpublished novels about China before the Communists, a third that I am still working on, and translations, film and radio scripts in Chinese. The publishers here seem agreed that the characters in those two novels are too unpleasant, even the poor are no better. An editor at Knopf’s wrote that if things were so bad before, then the Communists would actually be a deliverance. Here I came against the curious literary convention treating the Chinese as a nation of Confucian philosophers spouting aphorisms, an anomaly in modern literature. Hence the dualism in current thinking on China, as just these same philosophers [are] ruled by trained Communists. But there was decay and a vacuum, a need to believe in something. In the final disintegration of ingrown latter-day Confucianism, some Chinese seeking a way out of the prevalent materialistic nihilism turned to communism. To many others, Communist rule is also more palatable for being a reversion to the old order, only replacing the family with the larger blood kin, the state, incorporating nationalism, the undisputed religion of our time. What concerns me most is the few decades in between, the years of dilapidation and last furies, chaos and uneasy individualism, pitifully short between the past millenniums on the one hand and possibly centuries to come. But any changes in the future are likely to have germinated from the brief taste of freedom, as China is isolated by more factors than the U.S. containment policy.

“The Chinese experience predates the problems of Southeast Asia, India and Africa where the family in its larger sense is just as much of a system, said to be at the root of government corruption, as in China.  The trend is for the West to be tolerant, even reverential, without a closer look at the pain inside the system, a field that has been thoroughly explored by modern Chinese literature in its eternal attacks on what was called ‘the man-eating old ritualistic teaching,’ to the extent of flogging a dead horse. A common reversal of verdict is the vicious adulterous woman represented as a desperate rebel against the scheme of things – Freudian psychology juxtaposed with chinoiserie. The realistic tradition persists, sharpened by the self-disgust that came from national humiliations. By comparison the occidental nonhero is still sentimental. I myself am more influenced by our old novels and have never realized how much of the new literature is in my psychological background until I am forced to theorize and explain, having encountered barriers as definite as the language barrier.”

(Extraído de World Authors 1950-1975: A Companion Volume to Twentieth Century Authors.)

[quakerjoe]

American conservatism—the so-called “culture of life”—worships annihilation.

A decade ago, in my first public writing since leaving Capitol Hill, I warned that the Republican Party, in its evolution towards an extremist conservative movement allied with extremist Christian fundamentalism, was becoming like “one of the intensely ideological authoritarian parties of 20th century Europe.” After Donald Trump’s enthronement as the decider of our fate, I analyzed the GOP’s descent into a nihilism that belied every one of its supposed “values.” They value only absolute power or ruin.

It is now long past time to cast off highfalutin’ Latinisms and simply call the Republicans and their religious and secular conservative allies what they are, and in unadorned English: a death cult. As the country reels from the coronavirus pandemic, our national government might just as well be run by the infamous People’s Temple of Jonestown.

By now we are benumbed by the all-pervasive arguments over relaxing workplace shutdowns and stay-at-home orders due to coronavirus. In any sane society, the issue would be how to institute the most efficient measures to defeat the pandemic in the shortest time and with the lowest loss of life. Instead, Trump and his merry band of lunatics have hijacked the national debate into a faux-serious discussion of when, oh, please, how soon, can we “reopen the economy?” Naturally, the media gamely continue to play along with this calculated bit of dezinformatsiya.

This has led to extreme callousness, like that shown by Texas lieutenant governor Dan Patrick, who opined that grams and gramps should be eager to shuffle off this mortal coil for the sake of their grandchildren.

There is abundant empirical evidence against this notion: voters in Florida, known as “God’s waiting room” for its geriatric population, are notoriously averse to paying one cent in state income tax to fund education or child health, let alone lay down their lives. In any case, the 69-year-old Patrick, who claims he’s willing to die for his proposition, did not relinquish the burdens of his office to volunteer as an emergency room orderly.

The whole extremely well-funded edifice of “economic conservatism” is equally a death cult, worshiping Mammon so fervently that it is eager to make human sacrifice upon its altar, just like the Mayans and Carthaginians.

There’s also Congressman Trey Hollingsworth of Indiana, who put a patriotic gloss on his Malthusianism, decreeing that “it is always the American government’s position to say, in the choice between the loss of our way of life as Americans and the loss of life, of American lives, we have to always choose the latter.”

Then, striking the pose of the Serious Adult in the Room correcting mischievous children, he intoned: “It is policymakers’ decision to put on our big boy and big girl pants and say it is the lesser of these two evils.” This encapsulates the stereotype of the economic conservative: Dickens’s Thomas Gradgrind, the rigid, condescending, and heartless pedagogue.

But some pronouncements from the Trump coalition offer more ethereal rationalizations than the mere pursuit of lucre. The news is replete with stories about evangelical ministers packing their megachurches like sardine cans in defiance of state orders for social distancing, as well as contempt for common sense.

We all know about that harebrained medicine man in Louisiana, Tony Spell, already arrested for violating the state’s prohibition of large gatherings, who continues his antics nonstop. Spell, who sounds as socially responsible as a blood tick, is proclaiming his parishioners ought to choose death: “Like any revolutionary, or like any zealot, or like any pure religious person, death looks to them like a welcome friend. True Christians do not mind dying. They fear living in fear.”

So much for fundamentalists’ vaunted “culture of life,” a slogan which the prestige media never presume to critique.

For a more socially upscale version of this sentiment, let us turn to First Things, a pretentious journal of alleged theology that dresses up its non-stop shilling for the GOP with high-toned words like “numinous” and references to the philosopher Erasmus.

Last month, its editor, R.R. Reno, wrote a piece called, “Say No to Death’s Dominion.” It is an extraordinary performance. Contrary to the title, he actually argues that death should be embraced. He does this by weaving an imbecilic theology that includes falsifying the history of the 1918 flu epidemic to make his basic point:

“In our simple-minded picture of things, we imagine a powerful fear of death arises because of the brutal deeds of cruel dictators and bloodthirsty executioners. But in truth, Satan prefers sentimental humanists. We resent the hard boot of oppression on our necks, and given a chance, most will resist. How much better, therefore, to spread fear of death under moralistic pretexts.”

Oh, I get it! So Mother Teresa and Dorothy Day were more depraved than Josef Stalin! Reno ends with this:

“Fear of death and causing death is pervasive—stoked by a materialistic view of survival at any price and unchecked by Christian leaders who in all likelihood secretly accept the materialist assumptions of our age. “

This insane rant against materialism would seem to contradict the crassly materialistic assumptions underlying economic conservatives’ advocacy for letting a deadly virus “wash over” the population, as Trump would say. But these views, at first sight blatantly opposed, can be reconciled.

And who better to reconcile God and Mammon than a grifter like Jerry Falwell, Jr., ringmaster of Liberty University and testifier to Donald Trump’s status as an emissary of the Almighty? Not only has Falwell continued the school year, virtually alone among American universities, and despite pleading from students and parents to close, he has now been sued for failing to refund fees for student activities that have been suspended.

Fundamentalist preachers’ love of money is no secret: it is only by packing churches that the collection plate will yield a bounteous harvest so that their missionary work can continue – perhaps logistically aided by the purchase of a $65-million Gulfstream executive jet. And why not? It would upstage Pat Robertson, who had a mere Learjet, and a rental at that.

Political observers often wonder about the bizarre conservative coalition of plutocrats and theocrats, believing it to be unstable. But the intersection of the heartless pecuniary motives of religious and economic conservatives is no coincidence. And beneath the Ebenezer Scrooge façade of economic conservatives is the same kind of perverted idealism that we see in Tony Spell or R.R. Reno.

The most cost-efficient industrial process is one that wastes the fewest resource inputs. Likewise, internal combustion engines have evolved to get better mileage even as they pollute less. And electric motors are even more fuel efficient and less polluting.

So how do we explain conservatives’ perverse hatred of the environment, even when there are no profits at stake, as well as their tenacious denial of climate change in the face of irrefutable data? Is it not much the same as the Bible thumper who bitterly condemns stewardship of the environment as Gaia worship?

There are other similarities. Since the 1970s oil shocks (and coincident with the rise of the New Right), an abiding feature on the American scene has been the survivalist, hoping for the national Götterdämmerung that will vindicate his having stockpiled 10,000 rounds of ammunition and a horde of Krugerrands. This dovetails with fundamentalists’ weird enthusiasm for the prospect of world annihilation that animates belief in the Rapture, the only difference being the technique by which the elect avoid the mass slaughter.

Firearms fetishism and a fascination with violence, war, and armed insurrection are also mainstays of right-wing ideology, hardly distinguishable from Jerry Falwell Sr.’s, proclamation that God is Pro-War. And how about the Ultimate Fighting Jesus? The NRA neatly intersects with “muscular Christianity,” revealing both ideological kinship and some very embarrassing gender insecurities that frequently irrupt in misogyny and homosexual panic.

There is no longer the slightest doubt in any sane person’s mind that not only are the GOP’s fundamentalist-extremist religious allies a death cult disguised as 501(c)3 tax-exempt charitable organizations. The whole extremely well-funded edifice of “economic conservatism” is equally a death cult, worshiping Mammon so fervently that it is eager to make human sacrifice upon its altar, just like the Mayans and Carthaginians.

“¡Viva la Muerte!”

“Long live death!” That was the defiant cry of José Millán-Astray y Terreros, a general in Francisco Franco’s fascist army during the Spanish civil war. It could just as well suit Trump’s foot soldiers.

- Mike Lofgren is a former congressional staff member who served on both the House and Senate budget committees. His books include: “The Deep State: The Fall of the Constitution and the Rise of a Shadow Government“ and “The Party is Over: How Republicans Went Crazy, Democrats Became Useless, and the Middle Class Got Shafted.”

[things2mustdo]

We are all too familiar with the SJWs’ “muh feelings” pose. We are also familiar with the Leftists’ manipulative stance, be it through their sanctimonious bullying, guilt-tripping, appeals to a pseudo-consensus, veiled threats, or constant emotional blackmailing. The maelstrom of emotions the Left plays with makes tempting to withdraw emotionally. We might be led to think that the higher good lies in “cold, hard facts” alone. But if we do so, we easily forget that cold facts do not prompt for any action, and if we merely describe while trying to get emotionally disconnected, we cut ourselves off the game.

Passions are part of the game

When the infamous Karl Marx wrote that modern capitalism “drowned the most heavenly ecstasies of religious fervour, of chivalrous enthusiasm, of philistine sentimentalism, in the icy water of egotistical calculation,” he had a point. The bourgeois world of classic modernity is emotionally lacking, and both the bohemian artistry and Communist radical politics stepped up to fulfill the void. This historical point is still relevant today. Conservatives fail to make stands because they are much more passionate about their personal interest than about defending anything they pretend to stand for. SJWs, on the other hand, went very far into shrieking and bullying because they are usually passionate for their points. Different motivations lead to different outcomes. And a strong motivation, not to say a deep or passionate commitment, greatly helps to build a strong character.

The far-left was able to pick up people’s passions because the bourgeois would not, and perhaps could not, do that. The bourgeois idea of progress was about people becoming farm animals, individuals reduced to the status of producers and consumers in a world where nothing really new or interesting could appear anymore. In such a world, there is no need for passions and no need for politics, isn’t it? Well, the individuals would not let themselves get boiled down to the status of mere economical agents, and many preferred embracing some ridiculous strand of new-age spirituality, worthless artistry or even becoming Communists than living through the bourgeois-conservative nothingness..

Rejecting the passions and emotions, or at the very least trying to put them aside as to ignore them, made men weak and unable to take a stance. It has also made women unhinged, shameless, and willing to do anything for short-term pleasure, as no men were able to give them a proper sense of boundaries. Plus, passions being powerful motivators, the far-left mastery when it comes to stirring some made it tremendously powerful as well.

We must face passions, not as an annoyance, but as a resource that has to be mastered. This is true for ourselves and others. First, when we are aware of our emotional states without being directly prompted (“triggered”) by them, we gain the ability to choose consciously what we do and want to do, and can follow our own intuitions instead of getting framed by an alien narrative. Second, when we are also aware of others’ emotional states, we can steer them in a specific direction.

The latter is especially true for women: today, they follow fashions and MSM approval, when not following their own sluttiness and attention-whoring… but if men were able to reward, shame, and inspire proper passions in them, they would follow us instead. If we want this to happen, we have to take over the empire of passions and stir up some emotions in the public’s hearts, be it through discourse, artwork, or daily conversations. Here are three emotions I think we should be keen to stir.

1. Empathy

According to Dr. Neel Burton,

Empathy can be defined as a person’s ability to recognize and share the emotions of another person, fictional character, or sentient being. It involves, first, seeing someone else’s situation from his perspective, and, second, sharing his emotions, including, if any, his distress. (Burton, Heaven and Hell, chap.21, p.153)

As empathy fits well with maternal instinct and motivates nurturing tendencies, women are naturally prone to it. Up until a very recent time, they took care of babies and small children, participated to local charities, worked in shelters for the homeless or went through menial but important tasks as nurses. They did so because their natural empathy motivated them to act this way.

By contrast, a striking feature of feminism is that it destroys womanly empathy and nurturing tendencies. From a feminist point of view, men are enemies or at the very least potential oppressors and children are a burden. Feminism reverses the empathy, turns it into defiance or even hatred. Worse: after women have lost their ability to feel positively towards the men they should at least respect, cultural Marxism stirs their natural empathy towards “minority” identities. Thus we see grrls caring about thugs, invaders, or weirdos, who are all positively portrayed in the media, more than they care about what should be their community.

The lack of empathy is also a problem among white men. Though black men often exert violence against each other, the majority of them always bonds when it comes to attacking the depleted white majority. The same goes for any community out there: they empathize with each other more than they would ever empathize with us. We, white men, are the only ones who do the exact opposite by being hypercritical against each other when we should actually be supportive and look at the positive rather than the negative.

There should be a lot more empathy towards us than there currently is. Others should be more sensitive to our plight, suffer when we suffer, or at least feel compelled to suffer when we do. We are the proximate [prochain?], not the Big Other. We, too, should have more empathy among ourselves: nice guys, for example, should not be considered as “jerks” or “bastards,” as say some red-pilled guys who seem to have internalized a negative framing, but as misled victims who proved some nobility by trying to conciliate “respect” for women with the healthy desire to get a deeper relationship. Along the same lines, the working- or middle-class average Joe who got disenfranchised should be painted on a positive and humane light so that wealthy liberals cannot ignore or merely sneer at him.

2. Hope

Here is an emotion the Left has really abused from. Remember 2007-8, when the first “black” president was supposed to end the racial tensions in the US as well as the neocon foreign wars? Democrat activists at that time wrote without batting an eyelid about their hope for a world without losers, for an outcome where everyone would win. Then, the racial tensions have never been so high, the white majority is more dispossessed than ever, and the same liberals who were trumpeting about a world without losers have no shame calling us losers—from their choices and politics. Hope has been abused from, and we have to take it back. In fact, we have already started to.

Hope can be defined as the desire for something to happen combined with an anticipation of it happening. It is the anticipation of something desired… To hope for something is to desire that thing, and to believe, rightly or wrongly, that the probability of it happening, though less than 1, is greater than 0. (Neel Burton, Heaven and Hell, chap.14, p.103)

Trump is a wild card who comes with no guarantee, for sure. He still gives us something no Obama could ever give us—hope. The Alt-Right, manosphere, and the whole flourishing of high-quality dissenting intellectual efforts give us hope as well. Someone wrote that “the Alt-Right represents the first new philosophical competitor to liberalism, broadly defined, since the fall of Communism.” Someone else, here on ROK, noticed that more and more women were fed up with misandric grievance-mongering and longed to become mothers. These trends are more than interesting: they seem to point towards a better future that we still have to conquer.

On the other side, the liberal status quo and Hillary in particular mean pure hopelessness. If Hillary gets elected, we will have even less jobs, anti-white and anti-male organized groups will attack even more, the wealthy globalists will get fatter at our expense, and so on. Interestingly, liberals today use arguments of a conservative kind: when they shriek something as “the 5 last US presidents tell you not to vote for Trump” or “the Alt-Right and deplorables are un-American,” they look more like McCarthyists than hippies. They are the establishment clinging to the status quo and worsening. We are the embodiment of hope for a positive change.

3. Love

While hope should be spread among any decent people and is pretty straightforward once we agree on the intrinsic value of its object, love appears a bit trickier. In a relationship, whoever loves the other most is dominated whereas who loves less has more room to take action. If a man falls in love, he falls in the sense that he gets dumbed down, pedestalizes the girl, who in turn will get bored and look for a more challenging partner. Thus, seduction must be used to stir love in women: they must love us as well as their children. Both as a mistress and a mother, both as sexual and nurturing, a woman exerts love.

In men, love must be exerted in a more distilled and thoughtful form: when we protect our dear ones, toil for them, care about their interests, these efforts are an expression of love as well—although this form of love must be more distant as to allow ampler room for action. In any case, the feminine element must love the most and more directly.

It should be added that masculine and feminine can be conceived, not only as absolute, but also as relative terms. Esotericists consider that we are all “feminine” when considered under a higher point of view: the most fierce, courageous and risk-taking warrior remains “feminine” relatively to a genuine spiritual authority, and any human is “feminine” relatively to God as the ultimate Father. The Bible compares the good ones to a bride that shall get married to God (Revelation, 19). Hinduism recommends bhakti or devotion, i.e. religious love, to those belonging to the warrior caste, whereas the spiritual authority is more “masculine” as it enjoys a higher and more direct knowledge of God. These considerations might seem a bit far-fetched, but they were already highly relevant before the tiniest stint of modern degeneracy was born. Just remember that being in love is acceptable for a man as long as it never equates to pedestalizing a woman.

Conclusion

Passions and emotions matter. If we set them aside as irrelevant, someone else will push our emotional buttons—and the girls’—and spin us in no time. The philosopher René Descartes wrote that “all the good and the bad in this life depend from the passions” and that we had better be able to use them wisely. Ironically, the word “Cartesian” now denotes a logical, rationalistic, supernatural-denying mindset. This is accurate for the young Descartes, who was among the top scientists of his time, but tosses aside an important twist: the philosopher eventually lost his only daughter, Francine, and the sadness he felt while mourning her made him aware of the power of emotions. Yet, instead of being dominated by said emotions, Descartes strove to gain cogency about them, and he wrote a very interesting little treatise to expand a whole theory of the “passions of the soul.”

Our case is the same. Most if not all of us have been blue-pilled since infancy. Cultural Marxism was shoveled down our throat by school teachers, media figures, movies, social pressure. At each step of this process, our emotions were stirred and directed by spinsters so that, for example, we would feel a high empathy for so-called minorities while ignoring the homeless “white males” dying of cold at winter.

Ride the tiger of your own emotions and of (some) others’ as well if you don’t want sinister globalists to.

https://www.returnofkings.com/11010/how-to-control-your-emotional-state

We all have our ups and downs. Some days you feel on top of the world, you ooze a sexy masculine confidence that women love whereas other days you couldn’t be bothered to shave — you scowl at the thought of doing anything interesting and avoid all outside contact. Many guys accept this with a “que sera, sera” mentality. They feel it is just the natural ebb and flow of things, that taming your emotional state would be too chaotic of a task.

Those who do wish to change usually use hokey terminology talking about “energy” and the “universe.” They’ll seek guidance from another source so that they do not have to take responsibility for letting their emotions get out of check. People also seek a quick cure for a continual state of happiness, but what they do not realize is that happiness is transient.

I do believe there is a way to wrangle your emotions that relies on you, your habits and the power you have to respond to various stimuli. Essentially you must minimize the negativity and maximize the positivity in your life by altering certain habits.

Minimize Habits That Lead To Negativity

Take a moment to think about any time you’ve lost control of your emotions. When did you last get angry, depressed, hateful, etc.? What do you do when you’re out talking to girls that hurts your success? Do you have unreasonable limiting beliefs? Do you believe you always need to be happy to be successful? Do you get frustrated when you have anxiety because of any of the above?

If you think about the above long enough and are mindful when such emotional states occur you will begin to notice a trend in what triggers them.

For me the biggest habits that lead to a negative state of mind, in which I lacked motivation, was depressed, and stayed inside all day, were my nutritional habits. I started to recognize a pattern: I’d go out drinking or eat highly processed foods, I’d wake up the next day tired and dehydrated, then I’d stay inside all day watching movies because I didn’t want to go to the gym or talk to people. The cycle would just endlessly repeat until the natural ebb and flow of things took me to a high point.

Maximize Habits That Lead To Positivity

Repeat the exercise above. When was the last time you felt on top of the world, when did you last feel invincible, when did you last have no anxieties? When were you on fire when talking to girls, what were you doing that made you so successful? What were the thoughts running through your head?

Again if you pay attention you will begin to see patterns. You’ll start to realize what habits lead to a great mood.

For me I felt the best when ‘rewarded’ with something. Whether it was having great sex, sharing something with a friend, new PRs in the gym, busting my ass in the library and getting a good grade, or learning a new skill.

The Keystone Habit

Roosh brought up keystone habits in a recent article titled “One Approach A Day.” Essentially it is an innocuous habit that has a much larger effect than planned.

For me I started a few keystone habits: I started the day off with a nice cold glass of lemon water and my vitamins. In doing this I started drinking more and more water leading me to be less dehydrated, more energetic and making better food choices.

I also made a rule that as soon as I start talking myself out of something reasonable I would force myself to do whatever it was I was trying to rationalize my way out of. Maybe I’d start thinking “I’m kind of sore and I still haven’t seen the new episode of Game of Thrones, I think I’ll go to the gym later.” I know I wouldn’t go to the gym later so I would immediately get up and put on my workout gear. Just by doing this I started getting in the mood for lifting — I’ve also heard of guys packing a gym bag every night and leaving it in their car.

The peaks and troughs of our emotional state should not define us. As a man, whether it be through eliminating negative triggers or forming positive habits, you should be fully in control of your emotions. Use the power of a keystone habit to enact much larger scale change so you can be in a perpetual state of positivity, or at the very least, neutrality.

Read Also: How To Change Your Bad Habits

[repeterwiggin]

i decided to make notes as I watched POF (SVSR) for the second time and damn. it’s just as much of a rollercoaster even when you know what’s coming (warning this is long there’s a lot going on)

- wild to me how we jump straight in!

- lee & mary lee are adorable & also thomas at the wedding is a Mood literally me at all my friends weddings

- the flashback breaks my heart,

- Patton is still a really good trier... he’s so good and he tries so hard and I love him

- the way thomas rips off his suit jacket...

- the song that isn’t sung!

- Patton says “we four helped you” but there were five sides in svs hmm I feel like that’s probably significant in some way

- the ace attorney ref makes me very happy! there was a secret path of me hoping for for a professor layton reference but this is ehhhh kinda close?

- the fact that the first thing they say is “why didn’t we talk to lee and mary lee” like. yeah!!

- WE SHOULD START LOOKING I TO WAYS TO PREDICT THE FUTURE! he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

- patton and roman bffs!!

- feral cats,,, what a tangent i stan roman

- I like that we get some more context to the invite as well, like being asked face to face does add another element to the dilemma

- Dame Judy Dench = Queen Groovy Bench I see you using those Good Place swears, Roman

- “maybe they ... feel guilty” is like. I get where you’re coming from Patton but talking to them should’ve been step one imo like. I have been to lots of friends weddings and talking to them is important

- “I’m not sure there was a good ending to get” ... “for he’s a jolly good fellow!”

- them calling Patton out for how critical he’s been!!! very important!!! and I appreciate that Patton is trying “I’m just trying to help you be a good as you can be!” he still has more to learn but still im love him

- the bagel callback lol

- GameStore instead of GameStop lol Patton

- FROGGER

- “he eats fly for breakfast”

- We’re ten minutes in and there’s already so much going on

- Also I just want to appreciate that thomas is such a good actor I can tell which side is speaking just from their voice like the cadence is different and they way they say words ahhh it’s something I’ve thought about before but it’s really hitting me with these voice over segments

- Leslie Odom Jr lol if only we’d known

- The Pokemon battle format is so good and I love that it’s being used for a “do you give money to a homeless actor”

- The hotdog puns....

- Logan’s Lowdown!!!

- Roman mouthing “behoove” to Patton is very cute but I feel bad for Logan :(

- Pixel Logan is adorable

- The fact that roman immediately goes “ignorant” breaks my heart listen to logan!!! please!!!!

- Patton trying to soften his thoughts is kind of painful to watch

- “As long as that’s not the main reason you’re doing it!” Patton no,,,,,,,,

- Roman needs to be listened to more he looks so defeated when Patton doesn’t agree with him and only continues after serious prompting I feel like he’s been ignored too many times lately I’m very excited for a roman arc :((

- “Leslie Odom Jr’s....literal cake that he baked!!!”

- Logan’s fun fact popping up in the mario scene!! that’s my boy!!!

- Also the fact that roman is immediately painting deceit as the bad guy after they spent all of svs getting along......like, I feel like after the other sides decided that deceit wasn’t at all genuine or looking out for thomas’ best interests roman did a full 180* on him which makes sense for romans character but is also kinda depressing bc in is lying okay? and svs he was like “oh he’s not that bad!!” And now he’s like “scute bellied tyrant!!” damn

- Patton let’s him talk and then immediately is like “uuuuh no” yikes

- Roman targets all his insults at deceit and very carefully avoids being even playfully rude to anyone else hmm I really do think he’s trying to “make up” for siding with deceit last time and in the end it doesn’t even matter :((( bc he still feels like he’s disappointing people

- Roman seems like he’s genuinely trying to understand and Patton is really struggling to articulate his thoughts and that creates such a good conflict between the two bc it’s not like theyre really against each other it’s just solid interpersonal difference. or intrapersonal I guess

- The trolley problem!!!! A classic I love it

- The way it’s animated too is so good... the “Thomas is full of dread” the way the music cuts when the train appears how it cuts right before the train hits “is it over” ahhhhhh

- Also Leslie Odom Jr again lol

- “Maybe don’t depict scenarios where my friends die” and then later Patton is specifically like “it’s lee and mary lee!!!” lol wild

- “You know we don’t like to use the T word!!!” GREAT little aside

- “So it’s the how that matters” “yeah... and the why!!!” patton baby you’re trying so hard and I love you but it’s okay. you don’t need to have all the answers. you can just not know! I promise it’s alright!

- Thomas face after Patton brings up the “figment of your imagination” things KILLS ME

- I actually disagree with Thomas on the “putting more good into the world” as not being a compelling answer BUT I think that Patton is overlooking how feeling good/having positive emotions attached with those actions IS directly putting more good into the world. like, if doing good makes you feel good, that’s a good thing!! idk

- Logan disagreeing with Patton was good and we all know logan is my favourite but I think he could’ve handled that a little better

- PATTON HITTING SKIP ALL..... sweetie no :((

- everyone has already said this but that cane is the snake boy

- Roman even pulls back the insults on a philosopher who is not there

- Also Roman being like “your desires are getting in the way” again bc he feels like he’s not being listened to or appreciated bc there’s something about him that’s “wrong” and trying to shoulder the blame bc he feels bad that his desires (success, fame, love, appreciation) are inherently selfish :(((

- “that is the stupidest thing you’ve ever said” right sentiment, terrible delivery

- the way roman says “you’re just blowing smoke” is a Lot and very much like his fishing for validation but I don’t blame him for it, after what he’s just admitted it’s truly understandable that he needs that validation

- Thomas’ point about feelings motivating him is REALLY good bc we are all motivated by our emotions

- “Doing nothing is even worse!” i mean you’re not wrong but not in the way you think,,

- Logan/Deceit (I do think it’s deceit at this point) using the oxygen mask metaphor is really great to me!!! I love that metaphor & I was going to be a flight attendant so it’s something I thought about a lot. I’ll talk about it more when Deceit brings it up again lol

- “Uuuh I do need help” mood thomas mood

- “Temporarily put himself first” oof

- “It’s easy to say what we would hypothetically do...” hard agree

- Watching logan/deceit huff and roll his eyes solidifies for me that it is deceit like something about it feels unlike Logan lol I can’t explain why

- Roman nodding along with the explanation of why leisure is important makes me very happy

- “Oh is it not? Please correct me if I’m wrong” and the way the sprite pressing further and further and being more expressive with his hands and eyebrows like damn. that’s deceit!!

- Patton’s breakdown is Iconic I love the glitching and the way it zooms out to show the layout of the living room and the way he explodes ahhhhhhh so good

- why does the frog have abs that’s my one question

- lilypadton ahdhajfka I love it

- DECEIT EX MACINA THE REVEAL IS SO GOOD as soon as he started punning (cut through this bull...frog) I was like 👀 AND THEN THE LINES AND THE CAPE AND THE LORD OF THE LIES IM HAPOY TO OBLIGE

- “CODE YELLOW”

- the deceit sprite is so cute :))))

- Deceit pulling Thomas behind him we have to stan

- “Richer than Jeff Bozos” I LOVE that roman I love you

- Deceit calling him out and the way the words themselves turn into attacks is such a fun detail

- Frog Patton still punning even in serious moments is so on brand

- Deceit dodging while thomas gets hit is a solid metaphor

- “The plane is going down, you need to give thomas some room to breathe” oof like it needed to be said but oof

- The health bars changing to “Thomas’ mental health” OOF LADS WE’RE REALLY IN IT NOW

- the way thomas looks when he steps back into frame cracks me up

- “We can still beat him! We’ve beaten him before!” oh roman, but it’s not a fight against deceit :((

- the snakes on the plane ref lmao “I’m sick of this morality fighting snake on this metaphorical plane” whoever wrote that line... I want to give them a high five truly iconic

- Deceit is so much more playful and showing more diverse personality in this ep and I’m living for it

- final fantasy!! the og version turn by turn which is what I like to play lol also the villain they’re fighting kinda looks like Virgil and idk how to feel about that

- Deceit looking away as soon as logan pops up lmaoooooo

- “Not that any of you care...” logan baby no!!!!! I care!!!!

- Effective Altruism explanation and Logan making a point to go “it employs the heart and the mind” like ... reminding Patton that they need to work together and they’re on the same side I’m soft

- Deceit and Logan agreeing warms my heart they’re both so good and ahhhh

- “Emphasis on the ‘sometimes’ though, right?” “Yeah sure whatever — I mean yes! Of course!”

- I also love how deceit addresses thomas directly they don’t do that a lot but it makes sense cause deceit is really trying to persevere thomas’ self

- Him calling roman noble and roman not believing it :((( deceit trying to be honest and ahhhhh I’m so sad

- “Selflessness isn’t always the answer” which was exactly what svs was supposed to be about

- “What do you almost all things?” “Oh you’re right we wouldn’t want to plant too many trees, imagine how much CO2 might absorbed”

- lmao why am I so impressed by Roman’s deceit impression when they’re literally the same person

- roman flipping out and attacking deceit is a Big Yikes but it’s totally in character bc roman has always been black and white even more so than Patton and it’s been building to an arc for a loooong time so I’m very excited

- Deceit taking off his glove.... saying his name......... I can’t process this

- JANUS!!!!!!!!!! It’s so good it’s perfect I love it I love him

- roman immediately laughing yikesssss

- “Oh roman thank god you don’t have a moustache otherwise between you and remus I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is” YIKESSS but also valid deceit is at a breaking point

- “I thought I was your hero” “you are!”

- I’m going to be thinking about deceit’s—JANUS’S—nod for a long time....was he agreeing with Thomas or was he saying that Thomas was lying ahhhhhhh

- “Everything’s going to be okay. We love you.” “...right” AH MY HEART

- I want to give roman a hug

- Patton asking Janus for advice like right away and Janus not being great at first but coming around quickly with the ever true “it depends” like I love the two of them together the DYNAMIC POTENTIAL

- Janus does seem fond of Patton which is cute I can’t wait for everyone to be friends again lol

- ACTUAL LESLIE ODOM JR I CANNOT

- how did they make that happen,,,, how wild

- the clapping

- “This sanders sides not odom sides,, I’m not threatened at all” that is, somehow, a mood

- “don’t kill, don’t steal, easy conclusions to come to” “even those can get iffy” “I don’t want to think about that... but maybe that proves my point!” you what we call that? growth

- “Giving too simple answers to complicated questions can do more harm than good” “mmhmm”

- “So I’m sorry! Again!” Poor boy is trying to hard and I love him :((( so much <3333

- “Oh yeah that’s cool, talk about me like I’m not here” I love you Janus!!!”

- “I’ll take care of him” and then immediately joking around and trying to make thomas laugh is very cute thomas needed something lighthearted after all of that ahhh

- “You’re not stuck with an EVIL snake boy...you’re just stuck with a snake boy!!” I LOVE YOU JANUS what an adorable nerd I would die for him

- and how excited he gets about being called right he deserves it

- “I love how much you like these constant dilemmas so please keep overthinking things” you know what I needed to hear that man

- “You can’t get doing good down to a science” WORD

- the message of treating yourself well & finding the right balance between that and doing good for others being a personal thing is very good and much needed

- Lee and Mary Lee are onscreen for like 3 minutes and I love them so much

- “So this is what you do for a living? Comedy?” “Yeah I’m a hack”

- Patton and Janus chilling on the same screen... I adore them

- “Seems like things worked out after all... I was wrong about everything!” “You and I both know that’s not true” and Patton’s soft little smile I love them!!!!

- “Odom sides would cool!” like actual Leslie Odom Jr said that.... I’m shook

- okay that’s the end it’s just as much a rollercoaster the second time around no I am not okay, thank you for your time

[sweetbitterpdf]

thoughts on... your fav area of philosophy?

( ask me abt my thoughts on things !! )

this is both a wonderful and deeply difficult question!! my philosophical education has made me a bit of a jack of all trades when it comes to (continental) philosophy, but i haven’t had a chance to get like… super into one singular area/school of thought! maybe rather than my favourite area i can talk about my favourite philosopher instead!

my all-time fave so far— if he can even be considered a philosopher, that’s an area of debate— is michel de montaigne!! he’s the inventor of the essay, which a lot of people tend to think is something that has always existed, but it hasn’t! as his name suggests he was french, and he wrote his essays— his big, significant work— in the late 16th century. 

when you think of an essay you may think of word-vomiting on a page for the sake of a grade, but his essays— essais in french— were exactly what the name suggests: attempts. in his case, they were attempts to understand various things about the world around him, from things like war and glory, to the imagination, to class dynamics, to smells. he even has an essay on thumbs (which is about a page in length, and is one of my favourites!)

i like him so much for a variety of reasons, but the main ones are:

he was genuinely just a super nice dude. he was quite humble when it came to talking about himself— i don’t remember where exactly, but in one of his essays he goes on for a whole paragraph about the fact that he’s not particularly tall or handsome, he can’t swim all that well, can’t shoot a gun, etc. he was also elected mayor of his french hometown… while he was away in italy?? and he served his term so well and he was so liked by everyone that he was elected for another term after that!

he came to some very modern conclusions about various things. for example— and again, keep in mind that he was writing in the 1570s and 1580s— the notion that women are a lot more similar to men than everyone seems to think, and it’s unfair that they’re treated so differently. he also said— and i quote— “we love a body without soul and sentiment when we love a body without its consent”!!! in the 16th century!!!!

the reason why whether he’s a philosopher or not is heavily debated is because his work centers solely on himself. his big question— rather than ‘is there a god’ or ‘what is the meaning of life’ like so many other philosophers— was que sçay-je? which, translated from the middle french in which he wrote, means what do i know? that was the aim of his 900-page-long essays (the length of all of them collectively). that’s why he covers such a wide range of topics! something would come to mind, and he would write down his thoughts and knowledge to figure out precisely what he knows and what he doesn’t.

because of the previous point, his work is not only deeply fascinated in tone, but also wonderfully personal. when i took a class on montaigne and read the majority of his essays i got the feeling of a well-loved, eccentric old uncle telling you some stories in a cozy old armchair. so much of philosophy is told at you, this is the way things are or that is the way things must be, etc. but montaigne converses with you. he tells you his thoughts through stories, both from others and from his own life. he doesn’t prescribe, as so many other philosophers do— all he’s trying to do is sort through the clutter of his own mind, and the reader is along for the ride.

[k-itsmaywriting]

Any chapter from Vessels?

(oh god this got so long and it took me so long but I WANTED TO INCLUDE EVERYTHING)

VESSELS

So I’ve chosen chapter 4 for this because it comes straight after Shirayuki’s big shock, contains Obi’s turning point, and it ends with a Big Idea that sets the trajectory for the rest of the story.

Overall, this story happened because I got the Android slot on Bingo 2018! :D The first thing that I thought up of was “what if Shirayuki is an android and Obi is her creator” and then I also thought “BUT WHAT IF OBI IS ALSO ANDROID BUT HE DOESN’T /KNOW/”. And the rest kind of snowballed to include post-apocalyptic Wistal and the Outside to explain how that might happen in the first place. But because of the nature of that setting, the story overall became A LOT more political and philosophical than I originally planned on but uh HERE WE ARE. Since Wistal’s government is fictional, I guess I had the freedom to draw inspiration from the actions of multiple governments as well as anxieties about what how they might respond to disaster (or at least an extreme example) and what that might mean for society in the future.

Also the title is like…android bodies are vessels for their brains and designed purposes. Bodies in general are vessels. There are also blood vessels, which I contrast with injuries that show wiring instead of them. Vessels, man.

The chapter circles back to Obi’s POV for the first time since chapter 1 and in pretty much two minutes he, with very little context, has to decide whether to give up himself and Shirayuki and continue life as they did before, or live with the truth and run. He runs because he’s realised that Garrack, someone he knows hates this whole gig, was involved in turning him into an android too. He doesn’t want to give himself or Shirayuki up partly because she’s betrayed him (will get to the other parts of it soon), and he doesn’t trust her anymore.

Then it’s the flashback when Obi and Garrack met for the first time, and is where he learns that Garrack was definitely not as in this for the money as he was. At that point, he was curious at best, but he also knew there was /someone/ who knew the Wisterias aren’t up to much good like everyone else thought they were. He shared that sentiment, so there was just a tinge of camaraderie there. Which hits another nail into the betrayal. The flashback also sort of hints that Garrack had changed since then to become someone who was willing to sacrifice Shirayuki and Obi so she could keep being with Ryuu, still knowing how it’s impacting everyone else. And I wanted that to reflect the whole “save yourself and those close to you, don’t care about anyone else” thing that happens sometimes in very stressful circumstances.

As for the Wisterias, it’s kind of an explanation to what they actually do. So, basically Zen and Izana are co-directors of Starlight, an AI development company, and Izana also joined Kain’s political party around when Zen turned 20 (which was like…a year before he hired Obi and so between 5-6 years before the present). I also wanted to hint that like, ISN’T IT IFFY THAT THE PM HAS FAMILIAL CONNECTIONS TO THE PPL IN CHARGE OF MAKING ALL THE TECHNOLOGY THAT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO REALLY UP THE SURVEILLANCE EVERYWHERE AND STORE CRAZY AMOUNTS OF DATA WHILE ALSO LITERALLY TURNING PEOPLE INTO ROBOTS. TO CONTROL THEM. ESPECIALLY WHEN SAID PM IS A DICK WHO USES PPL’S LIVES AS LEVERAGE SO HE CAN HAVE CONTROL OVER RESEARCH IN OTHER AREAS OF SCIENCE IE CONSERVATION AND AGRICULTURAL SCIENCE IE THE THING THAT’S GONNA BASICALLY SAVE EVERYONE GIVEN FOOD SCARCITY IS A MENTIONED ISSUE IN CH2 :)))

The next scene is when Obi wakes up Shirayuki and she’s grappling with the fact her entire life has been fabricated. Obi is able to quickly say that she’s a person with thoughts, feelings and actions like everyone else because this is what he already thought of her in chapter 1. He cares about her and loves her dearly as a best friend, and as an honest person who’s trying to do good in the world. He believes she’s good in every way that he is bad. And he’s gutted that he’s been lying to her while she was risking everything to save him. And that’s also why he ran away with her, even though it meant she would know the truth and possibly hate him for it. But he knows she’s the kind of person who would rather the hard reality than the comfortable lie.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THIS PARTICULAR PART:

“I was in love with you and this entire time you’ve been lying to me?!” Shirayuki screams.Obi freezes, eyes wide as he stares at her. She…she what?

“That’s why Zen and Dr Gazelt looked at me like…like I was just pitiful.” She grits her teeth as tears begin to fall. “Don’t pretend you don’t know!”

“You weren’t supposed to love me,”

Shirayuki at this point believes everything is fabricated, right down to her feelings for Obi. But Obi saying she wasn’t supposed to love him means that those feelings developed while they were living together. I was actually super cautious about this because I was kind of afraid it’d be like, SHE’S TRANSCENDED TO HUMANITY BECAUSE SHE CAN FALL IN LOVE, but it’s more about her being a person because she can change and develop feelings without an instruction to. Which also applies to her running from Zen, saving Obi, and later deciding to escape Wistal. None of those things are good for the Wisterias, but because she’s designed to be able to think for herself and to value justice and Doing Good, she’s able to act in ways that they do not expect. In doing so, she’s able to reclaim her autonomy, so to speak.

But the same goes for Obi as well. The reason why Zen and Garrack look at Shirayuki Like That every time she talks about Obi being her best friend is because the Obi that is only in it for the money and doesn’t care about anything else is a lot more known to them than the best friend Obi. They don’t have much reason to believe Obi would risk it all for Shirayuki considering he’s the one who made her in the first place and has been lying to her the whole time (not to mention that Garrack also just feels sorry for her because of that). Yet he too runs away and saves her, just like she did for him. And tells her that who he is - what made him smile and laugh, his happiness when they were together - was not a lie even though his past was. To her, that’s what tells her that he really does care about her and that he’s changed since he first came to Wistal. And again, that is without instruction. Those feelings and the decisions that came out of them are also therefore his own.

He tells her his actual past too, so FINALLY, ANOTHER GLIMPSE OF THE OUTSIDE AND THIS TIME I WROTE ABOUT MORE PEOPLE. The idea that people left the wastelands for the mountains just to live a peaceful life was very much inspired by how so many young people’s dreams these days is like…to live in a cottage among nature and bake pies, or another form of very peaceful mundanity. I felt it would be the same in a world that feels so hopeless like in Vessels, where people had to sort of choose to either follow Kain’s father and his crew to live in the same society that failed them before the apocalypse, or stay in the wasteland and try to survive there. The rumours of regrowth were HUGE symbols of hope, including for Obi’s family, for those who just wanted that peaceful life.

Obi, unfortunately, is the only one who makes it. And he’s so heartbroken even when he’s cared for by Mukaze and his parents that he runs away back to the wasteland to become a scavenger. I didn’t really get to go very deep into it, but the wasteland is pretty much Trade Central. There’s no clear power structure, but everyone’s still trying to get ahead somehow. So it’s not Wistal, but it’s also not the total opposite of it either.And Obi spends his teen years/early adulthood in that environment, so it’s very much involved in the kind of person he became by the time he met Zen.

Mukaze and his family taking care of this child Obi who literally fell into their garden out of nowhere is kind of like…a communal care humans give each other that is not widely seen in other settings of this story but one that is really important? Like, humans working together and building each other up to survive after the apocalypse. So when Shirayuki shows that kind of care by saving him and Obi decides he wants to return it, Mukaze’s place is an image of something that’s within their reach when Shirayuki voices her idea to escape Wistal and All This Shit.