#i got it originally because i was dealing with (what i now know were) delusions but i couldn't tell if they were delusions or dissociation

[cluster-b-culture-is]

cluster B culture is getting an email from quora about a thread called "cluster b unmasked" and already knowing it's going to be full of ableist crap and questioning why you got an account in the first place

.

[nunalastor]

I have been struck by an idea for Angel Alastor AU

*Alastor's POV*

A couple months into his stay in Hell Alastor finds and figures out how deals work, as well as their roll they play in maintaining this realm. He is excited to try it out and finds out he is really good at it. BUT!! After awhile the people he takes under his care collapse into shows of light. He doesn't get it. What is he doing wrong! the only 2 thralls not leaving are Nifty and husker.

Let's see he takes in children and women who did what they had to do to survive. Check! Give them free housing in the forest he grew with his magic. Check!! Employ the women as either teachers/caretakers for the kids or writers for his radio shows. CHECK!!! Basically build and maintain a self sufficient community that doesn't have to worry about the stress of hell while he get to have his fun. Check fucking CHECK!!!!

No matter how many years pass in hell it keeps happening. It's confusing but that's ok, he only did it because all the most respected Overlords of hell run and maintain communities. His new bestie Rosie, Carmillia, Missi Zilla, Zestial and even that pathetic picture Box that got a lucky hit to his forehead with an angelic dagger ( thankfully Alastor bashed vox's face in before he could back up the memory) has one. Well the Princess is opening a hotel i hopes of rehabilitating sinners should be fun. He just hopes that the letters he wrote for Guy, Emily and his Mom and that they forgive him for his selfish acts.

*Heaven's/Micheal's POV*

It has been years since the one so loved by Heaven went missing because of Adam's carelessness when something miraculous starts happening. The souls of women and children damned to Hell start appearing before the high Seraphim Sera. Despite all the struggles the souls went through and endured, they had one thing in common.

Alastor

When Micheal is filled in on what's happening he doesn't rushes to the observation orb within Heavens Court house. With the help of the very souls Alastor redeemed he lays eyes upon his beloved for the first time in years. The sight is both comforting and devastating as Micheal watches Alastor rub at a nasty scar along his temple.

Of course. Everything makes sense now. His beloved wouldn't abandon everyone he loves on a whim. He didn't know it was possible for the love he has held for his deer to grow deeper because even when trapped in hell under the delusion that they're a demon Al still went out of his way to help others. After many apology's to Guy, Emily and Al's Mom for the deceit Sera decides the best course of action going forward is to call a meeting with Lucifer.....OH, Lucifer sent his daughter in his place. WAIT! She's starting up a redemption project that's perfect we can give her support through the search party now led by a talented exorcist by the name of Vagatha And his beloved's best friend Guy who's a detective turned therapist.

Charlie: "wait uncle, you know redemption is possible?"

Micheal: "Well yes, but not how because my boyfriend the saint who figured out how to do so, got trapped in Hell due to a tragic mistake some years ago suffering a horrible head wound. We were finally able to find him but we don't know how much he truly remembers."

*Lilith POV*

Lilith who has spent the last couple of years getting faded off champagne on a beach: "I feel like i'm forgetting something important" -the unopened letters Alastor asked her to deliver sitting at the bottom of her luggage- "If i can't remember, probably not a big deal."

-sleep deprived Anon-

P.S. the thought of Alastor finally finding joy in his after life only to have it be ripped out from under him because he is unintentionally being really helpful is funny and the growing unhinged perspective of Micheal as he searches for his beloved, is absolutely delightful for me

P.S.S. I had to write this down twice so it's a lot longer than it was originally so here's this wall of text-sorry not sorry

👀

[hekate1308]

There Was Winter’s Cold, A Destiel Advent Calendar December 2

Masterpost

Alright. Now, this might have been too much for other people, but he was not other people. He was Dean Winchester, and growing up the way he had, not only had he met his fair share of crazies, but he’d also witnessed his fair share of meltdowns by the time he had turned ten. (Admittedly, the biggest and craziest had been his own father’s, but he didn’t like to think of that).

So he had just rescued a guy out of the river who thought he was a water wraith. Big deal.

“I see.”

He actually relaxed for some reason. Dean couldn’t help but shake his head ever so slightly, but hey, they needed to get away from here and into something dry fast, and if he really believed he was a water wraith, he’d hardly have an address, so he said, “Come one” and held out his hand.

He stared it as if he had never been helped up before – man, for all knew Dean about that kind of lifestyle, that might even be true – then grabbed it. He told himself it was ridiculous to feel sparks because there weren’t any, why should there be, and dragged him up to his feet.

“Alright. So first of all we’ll have to get somewhere warm and dry. Come on.”

And he led the way despite the man’s quiet question of “dry?”

They soon enough reached Baby – thank God Dean usually used his car to go to the river even if it wasn’t strictly necessary, because he really would not have wanted to walk through town drenched as he was, and with a guy who had no idea how to look inconspicuous, it quickly turned out, in tow at that.

Dean needed a minute or two to realize, but then he became aware what it was – the guy didn’t blink.

Then he realized something else. “I’m Dean. Dean Winchester. What’s your name?“

„Castiel“.

Dean waited for something else but when it wasn’t forthcoming, he decided to accept it for nw. Whether the guy was a drifter or he really was a supernatural creature (the next moment, he chided himself for the thought. Really, typical of him. One look into blue eyes and there he went… of course all of that stuff wasn’t real. Dad had gone insane somewhere along the line, only they had been too young to understand, until thankfully Bobby and Ellen had stepped in. So really, whatever there was, whatever kind of delusion was at work here… oh well first of all he had to get them dry...)

And so he did what he did best and concentrated on the here and now. They got to Baby, he made the guy get in with only wincing slightly as he thought of the upholstery, and then they were off.

Dean was focusing on driving, which was not being made any easier by Castiel commenting, “I’ve never been inside a car before.”

He finally settled on “I see” and drove home.

Once Castiel was busy drying off in his bathroom, Dean went to look for information. He had to know what illusion he was dealing with here.

Time to grab some of the books he’d kept and see what all this was about.

The Idea of Water Wraiths originated in Scotland. A wraith is thought to be an apparition -- a specter, a vision, an unreal image – and a Water Wraith is a spirit thought to preside over the waters. They supposedly take the form of skinny, old women with scowling features who dress in green. The Water Wraiths try to lure unsuspecting travelers to their death by drowning them.

Alright. That was… something he supposed. Well, not the drowning stuff, but he had expected something like that anyway. Every creature was dangerous in their own way, as far as he could tell from what he knew, because –

He realized where he was going and shook his head. It wasn’t, he reminded himself, as if this was real. He’d just rescued someone whose grasp on reality could be best described as tenuous, and if he truly believed himself to be a water wraith, then who knew what he could get up to? Fine, so he had not appeared to be dangerous so far, but man, first impressions could be very, very wrong, he had learned that one the hard way too.

He would just have to be careful, and if Sammy called or one of his friends dropped by… it wasn’t unusual for him to help out where he could, not really. The way he had gown up, it was just the right thing to do, and people were too selfish to begin with. So, he would put all that aside and try and do what he could for the guy.

There. That was a plan. Now he just had to stick to it.

[stormdragon23]

Songs for Solo Leveling Ships Pt. 2

I was actually going to put these songs in the previous part, but it got too long-

Choibaek:

It's funny 'cause this song's actually in Japanese, not Korean-

"It's been a long time, without any news It's like our feelings are far apart Though I want to tell you, it won't come true anymore The distance between us, my wishes won't reach Still calling for you"

I imagine this song as a result of a particularly bad argument between them and that they're giving each other the silent treatment.

"Baby, I miss you so much now, no matter what anyone says, ayy Calling you up, I need you even now, say If our feelings are the same, yeah If that time was just a mistake, babe I want you to say that, truthfully Like an old novel This ending I don't think I can get over it"

Except one of them (could be either, but I imagine it's Choi Jong-In) starts missing the other and wants to see him again but at the same time, isn't sure if the other feels the same way yet.

"Left in tears Because there's nothing to hold on to Ring-a-ling I may be a nuisance, but Because there's only one thing I want you to tell me Getting no reply is also an answer, but I'll keep on waiting, even now I want you to come back"

And this is when Jong-In makes the decision to try to mend things between them, but Baek Yoon-Ho doesn't answer. So Jong-In is willing to wait until he gets a response, whether Yoon-Ho chooses to or not.

This song is a direct response to the previous one (don't mind me and my delusions too much-)

"And I can't deal without, I try to see the good in life But good things in life are hard to find"

I'm assuming this song from Yoon-Ho's perspective, mostly because of this line, which reminds me of all the times, Yoon-Ho's lost (or almost lost) people around him.

"Well, I'll try to do it right this time around Let's start over I'll try to do it right this time around It's not over"

I see these lyrics as an indirect apology from Yoon-Ho, saying that he wants to go back to how they were before and that things aren't over between them.

"My life with you means everything So I won't give up that easily

I'll blow it away, blow it away Can we make this something good? 'Cause it's all misunderstood"

Despite all their arguments and some misunderstandings, I see Yoon-Ho wanting their relationship to work out well, even if his emotions get the better of him sometimes

"This love is killing me, but you're the only one It's not over"

I just really like this line, but it also symbolizes how even though they fight, they truly do care for each other and want to stay together

Sorry, the Choibaek songs in this part are more sad than I intended

Heeseok:

"What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in, and you kicking me out You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down What's going on in that beautiful mind? I'm on your magical mystery ride And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright"

This is basically what happened when Eun-Seok visited Park Hee-Jin for the first time after getting injured, though this is more of a recollection of that moment rather than the moment itself.

"Give your all to me I'll give my all to you You're my end and my beginning Even when I lose, I'm winning 'Cause I give you all of me And you give me all of you, oh-oh"

Just Eun-Seok being smitten with Hee-Jin after they get together and willing to do anything for her (including killing but Hee-Jin doesn't want him doing that for her)

Sungpark:

"In another life I would be your girl We'd keep all our promises Be us against the world In another life I would make you stay So I don't have to say you were The one that got away"

Another song that basically describes their entire relationship in the original timeline. Park Kyung-Hye would want Sung Il-Hwan to stay with her and their children, especially if she knew what would happen. Except they actually were able to be together "in another life" and were able to happily be together <3

Jinhae:

"Missed call from my mother Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi"

I'm sorry, but I just found this line really funny. Imagine Park Kyung-Hye wondering where Sung Jin-Woo is, and he can't think of an excuse

"I was all alone with the love of my life She's got glitter for skin My radiant beam in the night I don't need no light to see you

Shine It's your golden hour (oh) You slow down time In your golden hour (oh)"

Basically Jin-Woo's thoughts when he looks at Cha Hae-In, especially during that one date when he took her for a ride on Kaisel.

"For the love of my life She's got glow on her face A glorious look in her eyes My angel of light"

More of Jin-Woo's thoughts about Hae-In, but this one is more about him thinking about her rather than him currently looking at her

I was going to add another ship, but Choibaek's section got long-

(Feel free to request a ship though, even if I've already done them. I have a lot of songs in mind)

[aquanova99]

Remember your Roots

Felix x Reader

Part 5

Prev <<

Next >>

A/N: Bet you thought you’d seen the last of me. Happy finally have more ideas for this series. Hope you guys are still interested 🖤

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Y/ns POV

The warm air felt cool as it blew against your skin. Felix had been very careful neither of not drawing any attention. You were glad that the flowers had the desired effect but the constant use had drained you. It was nice to get away. The sun’s rays reflecting off of your skin you skin in small prisms. Felix’s skin seemed to be more reflective, like diamonds glittering in the light. It was interesting to see the differences between your skin tones. Neither of you seemed to want to break the silence that had surfaced after arriving at the place you had originally gone to when you were at your lowest. Frankly, the silence was deafening.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes. I think I’m just…”

“Nervous?”

He chuckled, “I suppose you could say that.”

“Me too. I suppose.” You echoed and got another laugh out, “Are you feeling better?”

His face darkened, “If I don’t think about it.”

“That sounds healthy.” You say sarcastically

“I just find it easier.”

“Well, that’s because it is easier. That’s what I was doing until I ended up running here. Remember?”

Felix’s lips formed a tight line, “…yes.”

“Would you have preferred I said nothing?”

“No! Of course not. Truthfully, no one has ever really asked.”

“Yeah I saw that too. A lot of giving people space, but not asking if that’s what’s people need around here. So I guess I have to do it. And I want to know what’s on your mind.”

Felix began applying pressure to his forearm. A tell you’re almost positive he’s unaware about. You move as if on autopilot, and reach out and rest your hand on his. He freezes and you do your best not to instinctually pull back. When you make eye contact he releases his wrist and places the injured hand on top of yours.

“Thank you. And believe me, y/n I do appreciate that your kindness. I suppose I’m used to everyone assuming I am fine.”

“Even when it’s clear you aren’t.”

“It’s safer for everyone if I process through everything on my own…”

“Is that what happened with the immortal child?”

“…yes. We are supposed share the burden of handling them. But everyone assumes I am not affected by those things, and I’ve had to deal with more of my fair share.”

“Doesn’t sound very fair.”

“I don’t complain.” Well, yeah that was the problem. He’s been not complaining for so long he’s exhausted himself sick. “I am alright, y/n. Truly.”

You pull your hands away, all too aware of his disregard for himself. Too aware, of how you were already shutting down. His hands had been a tether, ensuring the priority was your excitement on the progress of your newfound friendship with the stoic vampire. If you wanted to have difficult conversations, you needed to cut any connection, any delusion that you were any more to him than a new ‘colleague’ yourself.

“Sure, Felix.”

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Felix’s POV

Y/n smiled sadly and got quiet. The warmth that had radiated from her hands now left you feeling cold, empty, anxious. You had a feeling she wouldn’t say anything more on the matter. So why did you feel so pressured to do so?

“I feel as if you don’t believe me.” You say

“I don’t.”

Her blunt response hurt you, “Why?”

“Because if everyone thought I didn’t care about killing something that obviously did, believe me I would be a wreck. Experience or not, I don’t see a world where that would be easy. And it shouldn’t be.”

“There’s just no point in taking about it. I stormed off the second the trial was over so we can assume they know.”

“So they know and they still continue to treat you as if it didn’t bother you. Yeah that’s not frustrating at all.”

“Being frustrated doesn’t stop me from having to perform my duties.” You felt yourself getting defensive, why would anyone care about you more a than surface level colleague. Aside from Demetri and Heidi most of you kept to your own groups.

“Maybe not, but it led you to such an exhaustion you all but begged me to knock you out so you could take a break.”

You didn’t have much of response to that.

“Why is it so hard for you accept someone might actually want to help?”

“Because no one’s ever helped me before! Why do you care so much!”

“Because I care about you! What other reason is there??”

That was dangerous. You were dangerous. To her. She needed to understand. “I don’t need you to worry about me.”

“Clearly,” she scoffed

“I’m ser—“

“It’s fine. You don’t want me to worry? I won’t. We will no longer concern ourselves about the other.” No. Wait. The words never left your thoughts. Y/n stood up and disappeared back towards the castle.

Demetri ambushed you the second you stepped within a mile of the castle. “What did you do?”

“I’m not in the mood, Demetri.” And just as you predicted, just as you told y/n he backed off. They always back off.

He only pushed once more before dropping the subject, “You better fix this Felix.”

You didn’t. The next few months were agony. Y/n worked tirelessly to learn about every plant possible still trying to concoct something Sulpicia had suggested. Just what exactly the queen had suggested you were unsure of. The only reason you knew anything at all was because of Heidi, the only person who was still sympathetic to the both of you. Demetri had since learned from both of you what happened the day you woke up. He instantaneously took her side, agreeing that most everyone needs release whatever is weighing on them. He didn’t seem to care that he himself had no one to do the exact thing he claimed he wanted you to do. He simply said he hadn’t found his own person for that and that you were wasting the opportunity to have your own.

Perhaps he was right. Heidi was on the fence, while she agreed with Demetri she herself struggled still with her own past.

She had continued training with Demetri, and a few times with Caius. The few times you had tried to ask how she was doing you had been met with a curt ‘Fine. Thank you.’ If she greeted anyone in the room you were in she would barely even nod in your direction or a simple ‘Felix,’ and that was if she acknowledged you at all. There was no eye contact. Not so much as a glance in your direction.

On one of the colder nights you walked by her room and heard what you thought was crying. You couldn’t help yourself, you knocked.

“What do you want Felix?”

The warmth that had once laced her voice was now laced with a cool disdain for you, it was clear to anyone it bothered you.

“I apologize I just wanted to see if—“

“If I recall we agreed not to worry about each other. Have a good night.” The door was promptly shut. And you were left feeling worse than you ever had. The worst part is you shouldn’t really be upset, not since you had gotten so defensive about not needing to share your own troubles. Still. You felt emptier than you ever had.

Jealousy filled you when she continued her friendships with Demetri, Heidi, even the twins had grown fond of her over the past months. A week or so ago, she had been allowed to be part of trial where there was no question whether the vampire was guilty or not. He’d all but paraded in broad daylight excusing the festivities in his home as the reason he thought no one would notice. Yeah sure. You positioned yourself across the room from her, trying to watch her reaction make sure it wasn’t too much. You had told her you didn’t want her to worry about you but it’s all you did. She was stone faced. She looked in another direction when Aro called you and Demetri forward. You wondered if she turned back to look at you when your back was facing hers. You doubted it.

When you went back to your original position her face remained unchanged. And she was in no rush to leave after Aro dismissed you. You on the other hand disappeared to your quarters immediately.

It had a been a quiet week, and you’d remained largely immobile. Demetri had come in uninvited but seeing as you missed his friendship as well as having almost little to no energy to tell him off…. Well, you didn’t protest, “are you still keeping this up?”

“Keeping what up?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“I would say yes…but I admit it feels impossible some days. And it gets worse the more time goes on.”

“So apologize then.”

“I can’t.”

Demetri sighed, you swore you could hear his eyes roll, “Felix…”

“It’s not a pride thing Dem. If she rejects me—I don’t know. I feel sick.”

“Well considering you’ve shared more just now then the centuries I’ve known you I would suggest simply speaking to her genuinely.”

“She’s seems to be doing fine without me. I do not want to impede any progress she’s had.”

“You’re both impossible. She’s keeping herself busy. Not for fun but to avoid being upset for long period at a time.”

“She’s told you.”

“There are some things she doesn’t need to tell me. It’s just obvious. Like it’s obvious you’ve been pining for her since you’ve met. She tried to talking to you the last time you were alone, and you were quite honestly, a brute. So if anyone needs to start the conversation, it’s you.”

“Felix! Demetri!” Heidi rushed in

“So no one knocks anymore?” You ask

“Who cares about knocking? She did it!”

“Who did what?” Though you knew the answer you wanted to know what exactly she was working on

“Y/n!!! She was working with Sulpicia to figure out if she could make some kind of tonic or medicine for well—come on you have to see! Elite guard need to know basis only!”

“Then you may want to stop yelling, love.” Demetri tried to calm her but you all rushed to the towers quickly. The kings were all waiting, Aro and Sulpicia visibly excited. Y/n looking rather worried.

“I assume you’ve gathered us to reveal your secret project sister.” Athenadora sat on Caius’ lap, eager at the gathering.

“Yes well, Y/ns gift should technically not effect our kind, it’s a miracle that she can completely incapacitate someone. I figured the plants she grows medicinally may also work in our favor.”

Athenadora figured it out first, her hand instinctively holding her husbands hand. You wondered how long it took for them to be like that. To move as one person, “you mean…”

“Yes! With luck we should be able to take away any effects from our previous battles. Particularly from the scars left behind from the children of the moon.”

Caius was silent. “Do we know it will work?”

“We think—“

“I apologize sister, I want to hear from y/n.” She seems so different from when you had first met, the castle had drained a lot of her fight and you had in no way helped. You wish your pride hadn’t gotten in the way that day. It seems so long ago, and yet it’s all you think about. You had destroyed any chance of her enjoying her time at the castle. And all she wanted to do was help…you wanted to run. Funny how that was always your reaction to things making you uncomfortable, in life you were known to never back down from any altercation or fight. Yet, when faced with the fact that you may not be as strong as you let on… a coward. No wonder she avoided your very existence like a plague. You wish you could go to her and beg for her forgiveness but that would have to wait.

“I don’t think it’s ready.” She says quietly, “I mean it is, all of the ingredients should target the pain. But realistically we don’t know how it could affect our kind. What side effects it may have. We would need someone to try it.”

“This is a simple solution y/n, we can simply wait for the next time there’s a trial.” Aro smiled

“We have blood bags acquired as well, we would likely have to mix it, as blood mixes with the venom running through our bodies.” Sulpicia added

“Speaking of.” Y/n rushes to grab one of the aforementioned blood bags. You had all fed recently but it still could be dangerous. Couldn’t she see that? You ready yourself to protect her from any blood crazed vampire. She slices it open and observes for any reaction, you wonder how she can handle the coppery scent that would make most of us lose our senses. She only studies her months work, Sulpicia does the same. When it becomes clear to them that nothing seems amiss Sulpicia nods at her.

“Well we know the blood shouldn’t have affected the tonics constitution. Now we wait for the next fool to make a mistake. Unfortunate we didn’t finish it just a tad earlier.” Sulpicia muses

“Still an impressive feat sister.” Caius smiled, “I’ll be glad to try anything to finally be rid of the pain.”

You would too, you think. Sulpicia nods and confirms it should only take a small dosage. She stands and y/n is quick to grab the bowl and gulp down a decent amount of the tonic before Heidi screams at her

“Y/n!!!”

The room is silent. Your heart drops. You half expect her to collapse from her own concoction. Y/n keeps the straight face she’s perfected over the last few months. As if it’s so simple she gently puts the bowl down and stands up, “Now we don’t have to wait. We should know if this has adverse effects within the next day or so.”

With that she walks out of the room. And you’ll be damned if you don’t follow behind her.

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[trulybetty]

Tess | Gold Rush (One Shot)

Gold Rush Masterlist

Pairing: Joel/Tess, Joel/OFC, Tess & OFC Warnings: just my trademark angst, mentions of drugs & alcohol AO3:Link Summary: Tess isn't delusioned by her complex, and often one-sided, relationship with Joel.

{ inspired by this thread started by @something-tofightfor - hope I've done Tess some justice here }

Tess.

Tess fidgeted with her hands, folding and refolding the blanket at the end of the bed, her movements deliberate and slow. She could still hear Joel's words in her head that morning when he had told her no matter what, she was not to accompany him on this trade he had to complete with Dalton, a rat-faced FEDRA operative who had once been Charlotte's inside connection to the organization. "It has to be me, and only me," he'd said firmly. "This deal is delicate enough as it is; I don't need you setting off any alarms and ruining our chances of success." Tess hadn't argued, but she had felt a sting of frustration nonetheless.

Dalton, the weaselly man, made no attempt the hard on he had for Charlotte, and back then Charlotte had exploited it as a means to make trades. Dalton got off on watching Joel's reactions, relishing in the edge he felt he had over Joel, since Joel could not say or do anything to jeopardize the lucrative trades. Charlotte had maintained their precarious arrangement for as long as she could, putting up with Dalton's leering looks and crude comments because she knew how much Tess and Joel needed him.

Tess had tried to fill the gap in the first days of Charlotte's departure, but Dalton had none of it. He found her abrasive and Tess didn't have the patience for the games Dalton wanted to play. "I prefer brunettes," was his sneer when Tess had crashed and burned in her one attempt to win him over. So it was now left to Joel to uphold their uneasy truce.

Dalton had a lead on salvaged FEDRA vehicle, and if Tess and Joel could get their hands on a car battery it would give them a sure means of travel out of the Boston QZ to Wyoming. From where six months ago Tommy had sent his last radio message. Without coincidence six months ago was the last time Joel had been able to at least get some sleep without the assistance of pills and whiskey.

When Joel returned to the apartment, his face somber, frustration evident as he slung his keys onto the kitchen table. Tess watched him out of the corner of her eye, her concern mounting.

"What happened?" Tess asked, apprehension knotting her stomach.

"Dalton" Joel said shortly and Tess knew that meant it hadn't gone their way. "Wanted more ration cards than originally agreed if we want him to come through with the truck for us," He seemed resigned.

Tess took a deep breath and stepped forward, pressing her palm softly against Joel's arm, "It's okay," she said quietly. "If it gets us closer to getting the truck then it's a sacrifice worth taking."

Dalton hadn't been their only other contact to have gone south in the years following Charlotte's departure from the QZ. Not to say they weren't successful as a duo, they were more than enough okay most days. However both Tess and Joel had quickly learnt in only days of Charlotte's absence, she was more intricate to their survival than they ever gave her credit for.

"I went to Abe earlier," Joel continued, rubbing his face tiredly. "Nothing came through overnight."

This was a daily occurrence since Tommy's messages had stopped, dropping by the tight apartment of the older man whose rooms were stacked like Radio Shack with the amount of equipment he had. Taking his skills in communication to leverage it as a means of survival, offering trades of radio messages with those outside the QZ for a means of living.

Tess had never been particularly close with Tommy, he and Charlotte had been incredibly close though. Outside of Joel she and Tommy had very little in common. Knowing that Joel was ruthless once an idea was in his head, and especially one involving his brother, he was not going to stop until he found Tommy.

Amidst the talk of travel preparations and supply runs, Tess couldn't help but wonder about the silent figure of Charlotte, whose name had been conspicuously absent from Joel's lips. She had of course left to join Tommy, and if they were off to find him, there was the possibility of finding Charlotte.

However Joel hadn't mentioned Charlotte once since she'd left, somehow managing to erase her overnight.

Joel hadn't left Charlotte; Charlotte had left him. Tess was certain that, had Charlotte not made the decision to exit the Boston QZ, she and Joel would still be together. They'd built a relationship before the outbreak, and their shared grief over losing a child had only bound them tighter together.

The ghost of that bond was something Tess knew she could never exorcise fully.

Despite the outward appearances, Tess and Charlotte's relationship wasn't really that complicated. That said, their relationship was undeniably a delicate balancing act of fierce loyalty to the same man. Charlotte, having known Joel before the world fell apart, knew the depth of his loss and the root of his grief. She knew the man he was, the man he had been, and the man he had become now. She had been his rock, his anchor in the midst of chaos, a reminder of better times and sweeter memories. Her gentle influence had always been a calming force on his volatile nature.

Tess, on the other hand, knew Joel as a survivor. She knew the grit and the determination that kept him going against all odds, the stubborn resilience that carried them through each perilous venture into the infected zones. She was his partner, his equal, sharing the burdens and the dangers of their reality without flinching. Her pragmatic approach served as a counterbalance to his recklessness, her hardness complementing his brooding toughness.

In this unspoken understanding, there was a measure of mutual respect. Both women recognized and appreciated the role they played in Joel's life, neither trying to outdo the other. It was an odd harmony, but it worked. Charlotte's presence in Joel's past didn't negate Tess's relevance in his present, just as Tess's companionship didn't erase Charlotte's enduring influence on him.

This unspoken accord between them didn't come without its fair share of biting remarks and veiled animosity, though. There was a friction beneath the surface, each woman silently staking her claim, each challenging the other in subtle ways. Tess understood Charlotte's protectiveness of Joel, Tess brought more opportunities for Joel to throw caution to the wind. A man seemingly always teetering on the verge of self destruction. Charlotte was the weight that kept him one foot out from going all the way over the line, Tess offered him unbridled access on either side of the line

Tess placed a glass in front of Joel, carefully pouring a generous finger or two of whiskey into it. As she observed the cloudy glass, the amber liquid seemed to take on a deeper hue, creating an illusion of high-end whiskey. Yet, Tess knew the truth behind the facade. It was just the homemade stuff, that cost too more ratio cards than it was worth, but it would have to suffice. It served its purpose, just like her presence in Joel's life.

She wasn't naive. She understood that she was not Charlotte, that she could not fill the void that she left behind. But she cared for Joel, deeply, maybe more deeply than she cared to admit. She knew their relationship was flawed, built on the remains of something else, something more profound, but she clung to it all the same.

She saw the shadow of Charlotte in the look in his eyes, in the silence that fell between them during the late hours of the night, in the way he sometimes flinched at her touch as if expecting someone else.

The lack of overt affection didn't bother her, not really. She had lived long enough in this harsh, unforgiving world to understand that affection was a luxury they couldn't always afford. She took what Joel offered her, the solace they found in each other's arms, and made do with it.

Their encounters were pragmatic, a way to find comfort and stave off the loneliness that haunted their quiet moments. There was a rhythm to them, an unspoken understanding that this was not about love or desire but about need, about survival. And yet, there were moments, fleeting as they were, when Tess felt a flicker of something more, something that gave her hope.

It was in the way Joel would sometimes hold her a little longer after they were done, his rough hand tracing idle patterns on her skin. It was in the way he would sometimes look at her, not with the haunted look that she had come to associate with Charlotte but with a softness that was uniquely hers.

Tess cherished these moments, held onto them as proof that she mattered to Joel, even if she was not the one he truly loved. She was not Charlotte, and she would never be. But she was Tess, and to Joel, she hoped that meant something.

Whatever awaited them outside the QZ, they would face it together.

For better or worse, Tess was all in.

[thehighpriestess1]

wow just… i have absolutely no words. we both know that’s a lie because i always have too many of them after every chapter.

i was anxiously awaiting this finale and it didn’t disappoint in the slightest. i knew geto wasn’t the mole but never EVER would i have expected it to be fucking JERRY of all people. when i tell you i had to put my phone down and pace around the room all stressed. my husband was so confused LOL

i never realized i could go from absolutely loving a character to practically wishing they were gone until i read about how jerry contemplated killing keisuke because he couldn’t stand seeing the manifestation of y/n and gojo’s love. at that point i was like yeah no you can swim with the sharks alongside miss girly over there.

i love that he sort of ended up screwing the plan when he helped gojo and y/n out last chapter. he helped gojo realize who he was becoming like and things might have played out differently if he didn’t give them that push to communicate. that small push was such a huge milestone for their relationship i just know jerry was angry. serves him right though, he didn’t love y/n at all, he doesn’t even know her. he judged satoru for treating her like a trophy when all he wanted was to hide her away with his family because he was obsessed. he drugged her and almost killed her because of that, how can he judge gojo when he was worse? he ended up killing his mother and his brother and has the gall to tell gojo he’s a monster? what a creep. i wonder if he projected gojo’s mother onto y/n and that’s why he did what he did. that’s how i interpreted it at least.

was jerry always so resentful towards satoru? i know he said he pitied him as a child but was he always hateful or did this manifest when y/n reappeared? why did he stick around for so long? also… how did gojo end up dealing with him in the end? did he follow through with his threats or is jerry in hell. i’m sure either way gojo made sure he suffered since his family was in danger because of him.

now miss yuri… this was so embarrassing for you. did she actually think after all she did to force gojo and y/n apart that he’d settle for her???? like she’s supposed to be smart but i guess her delusion took over whatever intellect was left up there. i figured she had to have some sort of connection to the zenin clan if she had access to the cameras. when all was said and done she died as she lived, pathetically. i’m so happy with her ending, hope she’s prepared for the warmth, i heard hell is hot 🤭

i honestly wondered whether or not y/n could handle this. if she decided that this was the final straw, being almost killed just for existing around gojo i honestly wouldn’t have blamed her. RATIONALLY she should run, but feelings aren’t always rational and sometimes we gotta take risks. i know that y/n and gojo have confronted their demons with each other without blowing up over it. gojo finally told her absolutely everything and y/n got the closure she needed after learning what truly happened with hiro. she saw that… gojo was taken advantage of when he was at his weakest yet his priority was her and it’s always been her. gojo is so careful with how he asks questions and y/n trusts him to do what’s best for everyone. gojo got the confirmation that she truly loves him because he’s gojo, and she loves him so much she would gladly give her life just to have their child, the product of their love live and breathe even if she wasn’t around to see it. i love how far the two have come and i have complete faith that absolutely NOTHING will come between them. i’m sure they’ll have their arguments here and there, but at the end of the day they choose each other and i know neither of them will regret their lives.

i know that a couple chapters you had an entirely different ending for gojo where he didn’t end up surviving so i know that this most likely wasn’t the original ending. i do hope that you didn’t feel pressured to deliver a happy ending. while i’m so extremely happy that we got one, i do know that what happens to a story is an authors choice and an authors choice alone. and i think i saw an ask where you mentioned having two endings. would you ever share what happens in the other one? if you’re not up for it i totally understand! also… i wonder what the letter that gojo left y/n if things went bad say?

i feel so many things and think so many thoughts that i feel this essay isn’t enough to convey just how thankful i am to you for sharing this piece of art with us. i smiled like a buffoon during all the cute bits, cried during all the angsty bits and bawled like a baby when i read the final paragraph. their (THIRD) wedding was absolutely beautiful, and i’m so happy they got their ceremony. leaving the ring that carried all the trauma that naoya and utahime put on them, the second wedding in the closet being kind of tainted by yuri and jerry, i know this one will stick for sure.

now that keisuke is confirmed daddy’s boy i wonder when they’re gonna give him his sibling 🤭 any headcanons for their future that you might wanna share? totally okay if not, i imagine you’re probably so exhausted from finally finishing this!

i just know i’m missing things but i’ll end it here. priestess, thank you for writing august. thank you for giving us the beautiful ending you did, thank you for sharing. you write beautifully, your characters were so fleshed out and their interactions organic. the plot has me on my toes from start to end. absolutely perfect. i was immersed from start to finish and i know this story will stick with me for a long long time. i appreciate you and i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to properly convey just how amazing August truly is so…

Thank you. Can’t wait for our next adventure!

(p.s you might get another essay but i’ll probably spare you, it’s time for me to go to bed since i stayed up to read this 🤭)

You're right. Jerry kind of ended up messing his plan when he helped Gojo. A part of him was not expecting Gojo and y/n to resolve it but they proved him wrong. He did project Gojo's mother onto y/n. It amplified more when Gojo and y/n had the fight. After that he developed a saviour syndrome. Jerry pitied Gojo but that stopped when y/n came into picture. After that he started hating on Gojo more and more. He was telling y/n about Gojo's past hoping to make her see how messed up the Gojo family is but that made her feel more empathy for Gojo.

Y/n asked for Jerry to rot in hell and Gojo granted her wish. He can't let a sick man like Jerry live. Of course Gojo being Gojo made it look like an accident but he is also supporting his family because they didn't do anything wrong and now that Gojo is a family man he understands the importance of family.

Y/n does not want to run anymore because a part of her always felt like she was running and she finally feels like she's at home. She saw how much Gojo struggled and how much he is still struggling to keep her safe and happy and win her trust. Gojo has been through a lot and not that she knows that she can't let him go through it again. Gojo and y/n, now can get through anything. Their love and trust has become so strong that a 100000 Yuri can't shake it. Both of them know that they will always choose each other and protect each other.

I didn't go with the sad ending because it was too dark and I kind of wanted and y/n Gojo to still have hope in all the good of the world. I haven't written down the ending but it ended with Gojo dy**g by Yuri's hand and after that y/n found out about Hiro and Yuri. It was too dark and I can't do that Keisuke. A part of me wanted him to grow up with both the parents and in a happy family. He is too adorable to go through something like this. I have a soft spot for my imaginary baby 😂

They will have another kid. I have planned an epilogue/hcs for August that I will probably release in a week. Do you think the second child will be a boy or a girl? 👀

[etherealising]

I’m back! Did you missed me? Do you even remember me? lol, I started another job recently and I completely lost track of your story, it’s m 4:55 am rn but I wanted to catch up, and…. I’m at a loss of words

First, are you alright girly? I saw your other post about your partner and I hope you’re okay, and just keep in mind that if they don’t like you just the way your are then they do NOT deserve you at all!! Don’t let IRL Hailey’s (lol) ruin your life! You deserve only the best

Now, for the chapters. Ugh! Both of the baby shower chapters are so fun hahah, you keep putting the ooc tag but i don’t think you give yourself the credit, you are one of the few people in this app that can truly incorporate the essence of each character with your story and your own original characters and without them losing their personal quirks. Also in the talk of original characters,,, what a twist! I didn’t expect Hillary Clinton over there to be such a CUNT! Haha, it’s my fault for always expecting more of men but what else do we do? They’re just here to disappoint us every time (except Pete ofc), but I’m glad he’s out of the picture -romantically-, I want to know more about what happens with him after!

I need to keep telling you about everything I think about your story but I’m falling asleep as I’m writing this so expect another message from me (and another song rec, I’ve missed talking to you) in a couple of hours lmao, love you so much sweetheart 🫶🏻

i have missed you so much my love it is actually borderline insane! like there are several “regulars” i look for in my notifications and whenever i see one of your blog names pop up the serotonin goes bonkers. congrats on the new job bestie, i hope you’re enjoying it and that it is treating you well! while i love the commitment to be caught up please get some sleep bestie poo you need it but also…did i knock your socks off??

i am completely delusional and i’m trying to gaslight myself into thinking things could be worse (because like they could) but due to circumstances i’m financially dependent on my partner so ya girls kinda stuck but its okay because i have aiekoy, my internet besties and the power of delusion so fuck it we ball!

so glad you loved them, i think we all just needed a nice little break from all the angst and i feel like the baby shower chapters were perfect. stawwph i will cry! it is so hard to write for the bear characters there’ll all so complex but i do my best where i can, i mainly started tagging ooc because i got an anon about how horrible aiekoy was because everyone’s ooc and i just don’t have the mental fortitude to deal with that ever again lol. HILARY CLINTON HAS ME GAGGED 😭 no but it was so fun writing that sassy little bitch, because things were outlined entirely differently like baby and hannah was supposed to have like a whole fwb thing going on only for the sole purpose of jealous carmy but i just want to write happy barby together already so bad that we just speed ran hugo’s demise. we will def see him soon so don’t you worry!

good get some sleep you need it to function!! another message and song rec ugh you spoil me! can’t wait to chat with you again lovie have a great day/night 🫶🏽🤍

[svampira]

🎯✂️🧠 per eden elias e brooklyn tripla combo

ask game

🎯 -What do they do best?

Elias, in spite of his horrible rancid personality, can be extremely charming when he needs to be, and his presence powers are op enough to be basically mind control at that point. <this does get him in trouble just as much as it gets him out of it. Physically he's very strong, but he only has 3 dots of melee and no combat disciplines, so he's kind of a flop for a vampire. When it comes to human abilities that carried off into his unlife, he's a great musician but that barely comes up and it's not why he was embraced.

Brooke can see the future👍🙏 she has way more control over her visions than the average malkavian, and her auspex in general is op as well because i love to cheat. Physically she's an extremely skilled acrobat, she was a gymnast her whole life and had just started teaching gymnastics before she died. She kills you then cartwheels out of the room🤸‍♀️

Eden's a sneaky guy👍 he can sneak in and out of somewhere without anyone noticing, eavesdrop on anyone and sneak out of most dangerous situations without having to resort to a fight (which he probably wouldn't win). He can hack anything 90s movies style but i literally don't know anything about that so im going to shut up

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Elias' worst memory is his "first" day on this green beautiful earth👍i have a lot of thoughts on memory loss in general i don't think he just blacked out and instantly knew he had no memories it was more of a gradual panicking. Not recognising who the man in front of him was even though it felt like he should have, to slowly realising he doesnt remember his own name and all of his memories are gone > and not even getting 5 minutes to deal with it before the stranger forces him to drink his blood then subsequently drains him. Just a shitty first night😔 hes not the kind of guy that dwells on things though by the time he woke up his sire had been executed so he just pretends he's fine with the whole thing

[This got way too long so im putting the second part under the cut. Read my oc's villain origin story👇👇]

For Brooke i think it was a specific moment when she was around 16 and realised she had no shot of making it as a professional athlete, both because she was being overlooked by her coaches and because she kind of shot up to 1.75m all of a sudden (now idk a lot about gymnastics. But ive never seen anyone in the olympics that was taller than 1.50m). That's genuinely her villain origin story just a chaotic ball of repressed anger, bitterness and dissatisfaction that she carried over into her adult life and turned her into the gotham villain she's now. Her real name isn't even (obv) brooklyn it's literally her villain name LMFAO i just realised

For Eden i think it was the moment he realised Brooklyn WAS real. She spent the better part of the first year they were turned trying to convince him they had a fight club situation going on. I think he found the idea of brooke being a fragment of his imagination more comforting than anything else, especially since it's not very uncommon for the type of vampire him and brooke are to have delusions/strange manifestations of their powers. He found out he was 90% less insane than he initially thought he was but it still made him trust himself way less + he was "forced" into hating brooklyn now for what she'd done even though she's his only link to his human life and still cared about her. Now im just feeling bad MAN im drawing him a better girlfriend

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Elias is my fave i cant even lie at this point... i love that he's so pretty i love drawing him💖 writing wise I've talked about this before but i love evil characters that still kind of feel innocent in a way. Like he has no lived experiences before turning into a blood sucking monster and even though he can be cruel and horrible to both humans and people he actually cares about, it's almost like he's never really had a chance to be anything else. Your honour he's just like that. I also like that out of all my characters he's the silliest ^^ he doesn't take things too seriously he loves slacking off and doesn't know how to hold a grudge. Also boobs

When it comes to brooke I loooove evil characters all my ocs fucking SUCK and she's the absolute worst. She kicks puppies for fun she steals candy from babies she engages in emotional terrorism she loves scheming and plotting. Yet deep deep down even though she links Eden back to her bitterness and dissatisfaction with her old life she does genuinely love him, and does her best to look out for him even when she's tormenting him. Also i looove drawing her with new hair every time she's so fun + i have lots of horror illustration ideas when it comes to her and eden (brain courtesy of a STELLAR gift art i got during artfight)

For Eden I like that he's the only one who's trying to rise above his nature out of all my ocs (this obviouslydoesn't work out, but there was an attempt). He has the highest humanity out of all of them, he tries to avoid feeding directly from humans most of the time, and he's the only anarch (which means in the la of my oc canon he's basically opposed to every one of my ocs) . I loove that despite everything she puts him through he still loves brooklyn, but i also love love love that later on as the war between the camarilla and the anarchs worsens he starts legit trying to kill her (while she NEVER would. She did straight up torture him a couple times tho so there's no moral high ground). I love horribly dysfunctional relationships I'm weak for fucked up heterosexuals

[iceunhie]

the heavy oak door swings wide open and hits the adjacent wall with a loud thud. a hooded figure makes its way in, body half-turned in an apparent inspection of the door. “a little unhinged, this one,” the figure mutters, before standing stock-still at the sight of the room’s inhabitant. 

“...you weren’t supposed to be here.” the voice, while gravelly, is strangely gentle. “be at ease, please, i’m just a feeble messenger carrying out my duty.” 

the ‘messenger’ rummages through the pockets of their cloak. “miss mhie, was it? got a letter for you,” they toss a neatly-sealed envelope through the air. 

Hello again, Miss Mhie.  Have you been well? [this part appears to be hastily scratched out] Did you… miss m(hi)e? First off, congratulations on surviving October’s EBG. I would’ve loved to send in more asks, but unfortunately I had some… rather personal matters to deal with. My sincerest apologies if you were ever looking forward to an ask from me. Now, I’d originally planned to send this earlier, but, well, better now than never, right? Alright then, here’s a little question to start us off:  What does loving the Wanderer feel like? To put it simply, I think it’s a storm of emotions. It probably gets confusing sometimes. One day you’re just madly in love with him, and the next… well, you’re questioning your decision. It’s the Wanderer, after all. You can never know what to expect. But most of the time, there’s one word I can think of to describe your love for him. It’s timeless. With everything he’s been through, you’d always been there, by his side, never once leaving. Maybe you don’t always see eye to eye, but you’d still support and love him unconditionally, regardless of what happens. Through eons.  This love is a mysterious, powerful kind. If I had to explain it with a colour? Loving the man (or should I say ‘puppet’?) of many names is midnight blue. It’s a stable kind of love, where you know that neither of you will ever betray the other.  Loving him is knowing that your heart is safe with him– he’s your sanctuary, and he always will be. So what does being loved by the Wanderer feel like? It’s a silent love. You’ll never hear him admit his affections for you. But! You’ll definitely feel it.  It’s in the way he silently leaves a plate out when he knows you’re going to be back late. No sticky note, though. It’s the way he lets you grab onto him when you awake from a nightmare– no snarky quips, no questions. Just sitting there, with you, in a comfortable silence. And if he deems it necessary to calm you down faster, you’ll feel a hesitant hand come up to pat your head softly. It’s also the way he’ll grumble and complain about how much of a nuisance you are, but then his eyes will soften and you’ll see a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. (Don’t point it out, or he’ll turn red as a tomato and bring his hat down to cover his face, all the while insisting that you’re just “seeing things”.) And maybe you don’t know this, but sometimes, at night, when you’re asleep and he isn’t, his tense shoulders will relax. He’ll run his fingers through your hair, and he’ll smile. Not the smirk people always see, but a soft, genuine smile he’ll never let anyone see. Only the moon bears witness when he leans in to press a quick kiss to your temple, and, after a couple seconds of hesitation, whisper an “I love you”. It feels good, doesn’t it? Knowing you can be as vulnerable as you want to be with him, and he’ll still accept you no matter what. Because that’s exactly what you’ve done for him. Take it from me. Loving the Wanderer, and having him love you back, is something really special. 

~‘printsessa’

dear printsessa nonnie, I've been putting off this ask because my jaw literally dropped to the floor and my heart swelled so much by this message ahhhh thank u for this amazing, amazing wanderer BRAINROT!! feeding my damn delusions and devouring so hard you probably ate EVERYTHING, including the plate.

WAUGH the silent love and.... the pun 😟

did you miss m(hi)e?

PRINTSESSA WHEN I CATCH U PRINTSESSA 💥💥💥

I love the way you write, I love the way you portray my dear wanderer so well!!! no, but seriously, bless U and ur heart. thank u sososo much for interacting w mee waugh pls i can't stop smiling like an idiot this whole time I kept reading BWKDJJDBWAJWW aughhh thank u for taking the time of ur (definitely busy) life to send me this sweet ask! (sure, there was a threat to my ebg safety there, but let's ignore that 😁)

anyways, again, im honored to be subject to ur writing and ur threats, though fragile-willed i may be for this frustratingly loveable puppet 👤 HOPE U ATE WELL AND CONTINUE SERVING THESE MASTERPIECES WAUGHHH

(and perhaps if u ever decide to reveal your mask and unveil ur true self, i look forward to being able to read ur work as a fellow writer. hopefully we become moots too eheheheheeh)

HERE'S THIS LOVELY BOUQUET FOR MY LOVELY ANON MWAHHHHHH 💖💖💖

[chidoroki]

Hell’s Paradise EP9

aka: plot armor vs immortal enemy

“There are too many mysteries to solve. I need to cool my head and review the facts.” And this is exactly how I feel when I watch Heavenly Delusion.

Gabimaru, please.. I don’t think it’s very ideal for you to act on your own, especially when dealing with the tensen.

Oh we got real creepy trees praying and chanting to something.

Damn, Mei followed him all the way out here? I dunno whether to be thankful since she’s apparently strong or scared since she’s still a child.

Fuck, out of all the tensen, you had to encounter the one who killed Tenza?? Only they seem so laid back now?

OKAY Gabimaru, just break their arm while you’re at it! OH! And their neck! Not that it mattered at all because yeah.. it spun right back around.

Goddamn, even his blaze ninjutsu didn’t slow it down one bit.

Yooo look at them both go! Gabimaru is doing quite well at staying alive anyways.

Wait, that kick of his glowed a bit and actually made the tense spit up blood? Did Gabimaru unlock some new ability or is Mei unknowingly helping from the sidelines since that glow sorta looked like what she did a while back?

Don’t just sit around and tank those hits! Move away from them already!

Holy shit, they keep exchanging such serious punches with each other. I know Gabimaru has serious protagonist plot armor but damn!

Flowers are sprouting from the tensen though, so is it actually dead this time? Or.. just turning into some kinda monster. It vaguely looks like something we saw in the OP.

Ah hell, now we got electricity to deal with.

Oh this little dream is so cute, look how happy he is!

Yo someone has to come and help this man, Gabimaru is seriously at his limits.

Mei, your precious child! Thank god!

Pfftt I love how quick Yuzuriha changes her mind about things.

Wait a damn minute.. does Isabella’s va voice all of the tensen when they’re in the lady form? And the males share one va as well?

Ooohhoho Chobei and Toma are still alive! Hell yeah!

No well in hell I’m gonna remember those seven names.

“They all look and sound the same, but their personalities and roles are different.” So they really do just have two different va voicing all of them. That’s kinda cool.

Oh.. so all those creepy trees earlier were actually the villagers originally.

I don’t think Fuchi and Tamiya are the kind of backup Gabimaru is looking for.

[pizzapasta23045]

SO VERY THRILLED YOU BROUGHT UP CREPUS BEC I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM

(Also minor correction he didn't Give Diluc his delusion, Diluc took it off his corpse bc he didn't know what it was and then spiraled down his like three year long revenge path trying to figure out it's origins)

The way I've structured it in my mind, Diluc's mother died in some like. Accident or something that scared Crepus because, yk, his aspirations had always been to get into the Knights and protect people but because he never got a Vision and was apparently not trained enough to pass the exam he was never able to? So he turned to the Fatui out of anxiety centered around keeping Diluc safe, took Kaeya in so Diluc would have a friend and company to watch his back, and then sort of pushed both Kaeya and Diluc into the Knights so he would be certain they would be able to defend themselves (while he made deals with the Fatui to try and keep them safe in the background) (Which obviously backfired)

The way Crepus died specifically was the Fatui using Ursa the Drake as a baited weapon (which I have separate theories about that I won't get into) to go after Crepus... which is interesting because it means that 1) It was pre-meditated 2) Crepus had to have done something for the Fatui to suddenly want him dead

SO. My theory is that because Diluc and Kaeya were older now, (Diluc yk, turning 18 the night that Crepus resigned himself to giving up his Delusion (as seen in the comic)), he decided that he didn't need the Fatui to give him a sense of security for the ragbros. They can properly defend themselves in ways he can't, and they don't need him watching their backs anymore.

The Fatui, obviously, didn't like that. Maybe Crepus knew too much, maybe they just didn't actually like him, but one way or another they killed him,,,

Which on a side note, makes me wonder if Kaeya knew something about Crepus' dealings with the Fatui. If he could sense the power the Delusion held, or if he, wanting to be aware of as much going on around him at all times, caught onto some things that Diluc missed (Fatui stamps on mail, Schneznayan diplomats saying things like "The Harbinger(s?) send their regards", listening in on snippets of meetings through Crepus' office door, etc). Because I think Kaeya wouldn't try to get in Crepus' way with the Fatui, I think he'd understand having secret dealings with alternate organizations, because that's basically what HE does, so he lets it be.

Which also makes me wonder if the reason we don't hear Kaeya's praise of Crepus is because he considers Crepus to be similar if not the same as him,,,

In the manga, I think, he says he was planning to give Diluc his delusion (or a different one but still a delusion) but didn't because he got a vision and didn't need it anymore. That's what I was referring to, obviously it didn't happen but he did consider it and stuff.

And yeah, I don't know, I feel like shit's more shady than we see in game currently, imo. Like, I don't know, I just have a feeling.

Mostly because of Diluc's overwhelming rage when Kaeya confessed whatever he did. Because his rage feels a little bit out of proportion, to be honest.

Like, what does he know about the socio-political shit in Khaenri'ah. He'd definitely still be upset but not physically maiming irreparably him kind of upset. But he would've been if Kaeya told him something more fundamental to Diluc's life,like something about the state of the world itself or a question of Crepus' innocence.

But yeah, they're definitely parallels of each other, Crepus and Kaeya. Both of them hiding secrets from family and being related to shady networks.

[yes0another0outsiders0blog]

Hey, I'm infodumping about my oc, hope y'all don't mind...

When I was in middle school and was first made to read The Outsiders, I was REALLY going through some shit and I was a HARDCORE fandom girlie (gender neutral) for escapism reasons. I don't even remember this OCs old name or 90% of their story, but I've decided recently that I wanted to completely revamp them because I'm in a weird mental state lately and I'm into the book again, so I might as well.

This is gonna be a long post, I'm GETTING INTO IT with how my mental state and age affected how I made this OC and how I, as a more media literate and experienced adult, redid the same character to better reflect how I am/see things now. I don't expect people to read this. Again, I just wanted to infodump about a VERY old OC. So, let's get into it!!

WARNING : this post includes heavy talk of depression, undiagnosed autism, and home issues, and light mention of personality disorders, eating disorders, and sexual abuse

[divider by v6que]

The Origins :

In middle school, I was already pretty deeply into the extreme burnout and severe depression that would follow me on and off until now. Maybe for the rest of my life. Around the time that my class read The Outsiders, it was not really early on into me having mental illness but it probably was the first time that it got really bad. Something that's frequent enough to deal with now, but back then I didn't know how to cope. One of the only ways that I really could was through escapism and maladaptive daydreaming (something I still struggle with, albeit in a far healthier manner than I did back then), so when the teacher brought out those books I latched on STRONG. It became a quick special interest, far before I knew what a special interest even was. So, of course I threw myself into the story INTENSELY.

I think this oc was partially self insert and partially pure Mary Sue. I was probably about 12 and I just so desperately wanted to have perfection. I was also starting to exhibit the very first signs of NPD at that time, though personality disorders like that are tricky to accurately see in anyone that young. My delusions of grandiose and need to see myself in positions of success and power were strong, even for someone at that age, so I tended to imagine myself as characters that could achieve that perfection and control.

All I remember about this OC for certain is that they were 18, from New York, had a SUPER tragic backstory but was also SUPER rich (like, I think I actually looked up the richest person in the 60s and gave this OC an extra .2 mil if I'm remembering correctly), and that they bought an abandoned mansion that they were rebuilding basically all by themself. Yes, this tragic millionaire did have insane DIY skills and know how to build houses. Don't ask why.

On top of that, I can assume a lot about how the original OC was based on how I know I was at the time. I'm pretty sure I very intentionally made them 18 so that they could be in some weird poly relationship (not saying poly people are weird, I'm poly, I'm saying that I made it weird and none of these people would be in the same polycule) with basically everyone, because the age gaps didn't seem much to a child. I wanted to be loved, due to fandom and shipping culture and being at the age that you start to explore romantic relationships I only saw value in romantic love at the time, I didn't feel loved in any way back then so I wanted this version of me to have it all. They were probably some flavor of nonbinary, but I don't quite remember which one. This was around the time that I had just started questioning my gender, so I probably played with that a lot with this character. Their tragic backstory almost certainly included SA, a lot of my stuff does to this day if I'm writing specifically to cope because it's a part of my life that I think about a lot. Super short-lived (which I will forever be thankful for), but something that I wonder about the long-term issues of a lot, so I do play with it when I create characters a lot. Also, I was emo as FUCK and thought I was SO edgy, so they honestly might have been an assassin. They probably killed at least a few people, but I'm really assuming I made them an assassin because I thought it'd be super badass. Could be wrong, I don't remember well enough, but I really wouldn't doubt it. Most of my OCs were assassins back then. I still make a lot of assassins, but I at least try to make it make sense in the media I'm making things for, lol.

Cherry Picking :

When I got back into The Outsiders, and the nostalgia that goes with it, I was reminded of them. And I knew I wanted to play around with them again in some way, but I didn't really know how because they were just... so poorly made, tbh. I didn't remember anything, but everything that I did remember was TRASH. But if I was going to revamp this old OC, I wanted enough of them that I could really connect the two instead of just making a new character completely. So, what did I want to keep? I'll be honest, this character is *mostly* a just-for-me OC. I'm not writing fic or roleplaying with them, so I did keep a little cringe in for the nostalgia. If this was a character that I made with posting them frequently in mind I'd have made them properly well written, I just fixed them enough that I can personally stomach them as a more experienced writer and person.

The biggest part of this OC was the abandoned/run-down house that they bought and fixed up. This was a not-so-subtle symbol for me taking care of and fixing my personal broken state of mind. I felt empty and hollow and like I was falling apart, I felt personally connected to things that were empty and hollow and falling apart (still do), this house is me. It is still my biggest dream to buy a completely unlivable old house and make it into a home. This is especially important, I feel, when the book has such an emphasis on community and the bonds between the characters. If I'm making my OC the center of this story I've made for myself, then it makes sense for the house to be the center of it all. A house that they can invite these people into to help build up (to help build up their life, to invite people into their life... yay symbolism!!), it's a solid theme that is super important to the character, so I think it is completely necessary to carry over into this new version.

I also kept them being super rich but troubled. I turned the heat down on that a LOT, but it's still there. I just like the idea of it, and it also makes sense for how they could buy this house after just arriving into a new place after freshly turning 18. Instead of making them literally the richest person in the world, I made them grow up solidly upper class. Like, they could probably make fun of a Soc for being a broke bitch, their father was hanging out with huge CEOs and such, etc. but there's still SA (because I still use this OC for coping and escapism and power-fantasies, don't worry about it), there are a lot of mommy issues (because I have mommy issues), there is other trauma there. Their parents die when they're in their early teens (older than it use to be, but "edgy rich orphan" use to be my favorite trope and I really went hard with it so I can't really untangle it from this character without changing everything), they mainly delt with really questionable relatives after that (I was also into aSoUE back then, can you tell?), but when they got their inheritance at 18 they pretty instantly went "you know what, screw you all, I don't need this!! I can make it just fine on my own, I don't need ANY 'help'!!" (*cough* while using daddy's money *coughcough*) and dipped, which is how they ended up in Tulsa. When I was little, I gave it to them without issue, but now that mentality fucks them HARD.

I also took them out of that weird "everyone is in love with and dates them" situation, but I did pair them with Dallas. I think I could have not paired them at all or went with someone else and it would be more realistic maybe, but this was a little treat to young me, lol. I was obsessed with this man (still am, but in a different way), so I think it would be a good little call-back to the time when I made this OC that I so desperately wanted to be. This is weird past wish fulfillment, nothing more.

The Changes :

Obviously, I made an ass-ton of changes.

First of all, the house isn't a mansion anymore, it's a 3-bedroom. And she doesn't magically fix it all on her own. She is really stubborn on wanting to do things herself, a LOT of it is done with friends, it is mostly DIY. Again, the house stands for community and letting people in and fixing yourself and letting loved ones help fix you and asking for help. But sometimes you need a professional, yeah? She doesn't know how to do everything, she's so determined to learn and *CRAVES* a level of independence, being sheltered and not knowing things is a sore subject for her and she wants to know how to do... EVERYTHING. But she doesn't, especially at the start.

I really wanted to give her a sense of confusion with this new world she's in. She's absolutely a little spoiled rich girl, and sometimes she acts like it. She just doesn't *understand* the world. She comes from such a wildly *different* world, and frankly she didn't even understand that one. The original OC could adapt to anything, this one is alien in every situation. For the same reason, honestly, I'm autistic. And I grew up feeling so alien and not understanding any situation I was put it. When I was younger, I felt power in making characters that didn't have my shortcomings. Now, I want a character that IS alien and confused and doesn't understand the world around her AT ALL and I want her to have a support system and people who will tell her when she's being naieve and people who will love her anyway. I think she still adapts REALLY well, she's autistic-coded as well, and she masks a lot. She's good at mimicking people, she can get over the initial shock of things and empathize decently and learn really fast when she puts her mind to it (at risk of burnout, though), she asks questions and wants to get better with things. But she's human.

Also, as you can probably tell by the change of pronouns in this section, I made her more fem. It makes sense in the setting. Not saying that nonbinary people weren't around in the 60s AT ALL, but it was less of a known thing and I feel like she would be content enough with being read as a woman (though might see gender roles a bit different, again, just due to having atypical world views that can come with autism). It was important that my OC was nonbinary at the time because I was just coming into questioning my own gender, but now I'm more confident and don't have as much of a need for all of my characters to be tools in that.

Wren :

So, I named her Wren. And she's still my dear little trauma buddy.

Her home, specifically.

This is what I base it off of, btw!

The porch is a sunroom, and I absolutely did no research on if this would be appropriate to shove in Slightly Outside of 1960s Tulsa, Oklahoma. It's my dream home, the home is literal symbolism for my soul in my little coping fantasy, so whatever.

Wren is 19 (18 when she ran away, 19 by the time that I'm usually daydreaming about her story), and it takes place about 8 months(ish?) after The Outsiders takes place but in an AU where none of the events from the story actually happens.

She has the kind of attitude of "I'm going to make it on my own" but also uses her fat inheritance to do so. She does get a job waitressing at a local diner the second she gets to Tulsa and lives out of a cheap motel until she can get the house to a livable state. Her thought process is mostly "I can use my inheritance/savings on investments (like the house), but I want to prove that I can live off of my own earnings day-to-day" and it is a STRUGGLE. Totally slips up, but it's a HUGE learning curve to learn to live within your means. Also, considers buying things for her friends an investment in their relationships, she will spoil any of her buddies in a SECOND, super generous to those she loves even if it blows through her entire inheritance, she wants the people she loves to know that they are loved and cared for. She meets a few members of the gang at the diner, basically becomes obsessed with them (anyone else with autism and/or a personality disorder just get REALLY into the most random people ever for no reason?), and the friendships and relationships evolve from there.

A huge thing about her is that she's super nice but, like, by choice. Was raised to be hateful, was bullied and verbally/mentally abused enough to be bitter, was sheltered to the point of ignorant harm, constantly fighting against her first thought when met with something new. But she so desperately wants to be kind and understanding, so she genuinely puts EVERYTHING into learning how. She's not a good person sometimes, but by god is she TRYING. Because, uh, me. I'm just low-empathy, though, not super wealthy. Lol.

It's a ton of unlikely friends, seeing different parts of the world, growing up type shit in her story.

There's also comfort because I have disordered eating and I want comfort. I have depression and angry, violent meltdowns and really bad memories and I want comfort. Fight me, the purpose of this OC is the same after all these years.

This a doodle of her!!

Again, long ass post that I only made for myself. I only made her for myself period. She's a therapeutic tool for me, mostly. She's just taken up a lot of my mind lately because, uh, I've been using that tool. I'll be okay eventually, I'm just not right at this second and I wanted to share MY GIRL while I was thinking about her.

[nightwing-scp]

Night as SELF-iSH lyrics pt. 2:

Cotard's Solution (Anatta, Dukkha, Anicca) (without the intro)

Cry my name, remind my brain of my identity

Night- shortened form of Nightwing, her nickname given to her during her time in Nexus. anyways. her "identity" is a complex thing to her

I’m not gonna listen, I’m not my volition, I’m Sha na na na na na na na, free will

she's always had that rebellious side, and now that she has to deal with the fact that some people see her as "less than" what she was before, some even suggesting she wasn't actually sentient or whatever anymore- so she's like "no I still have the same amount of free will as before what is wrong with you"

Am I to blame for riding this train right by my destiny? Ah, prove I can crack, ah, loose from the track, ah Sha na na na na na na na, free will

She'll sometimes do things that she wouldn't normally have done- that may or may not have consequences- to prove she has free will in a sense and isn't just being controlled by Foundation algorithms.

Rolling my third eye into the back Of my head and squinting through the black Saw no center, saw not where it lead

basically just. "introspection? no thank you"

It’s times like this that make me wish that I wished that I were dead, I don’t wish I were dead But somebody’s got to go

this is basically leading up to the theme of the song in the next lyrics

I wanna make my murder look like a suicide But they’ll all know, they’ll all know, but they’ll all know the body’s mine

this lyric is based on a person with Cotard's syndrome thinking they've already been murdered, so they want to make it "look like a suicide" by killing themself. but I looked it up and: "Cotard's syndrome comprises any one of a series of delusions that range from a belief that one has lost organs, blood, or body parts to insisting that one has lost one's soul or is dead. " the bold parts are what actually does apply to Night, so- (the soul part is debatable okay)

I wanna go anonymous to identify But they’ll all know, they’ll all know, they’ll all know, they’ll all know They’ll all know that the body’s mine

she's too well-known in the Foundation for her to ever go anonymous. plus she's pretty sure they track her somehow.

Divide by 1 and find I’m one less than the one I was So how many people am I? Now that I keep ‘em in my Sha na na na na na, memory, still I

Dividing by one (the 3125 incident maybe-) should get you the same number, but in Night's case, Entity's missing, so she's one less than the one she was before. She's basically permanently saved some memories of it- whether she wanted to or not

Check in the mirror to see how I look, I look different in different ways Ah, you do the math, ah, who’s looking back? Ah Sha na na na na na na na, that's not me

different in different ways- "half human and half machine" basically oh my god is that a cabinet man referenc-

okay this is will wood not lemon demon. back on topic people

yeah sometimes she misses the parts of her body that were replaced with their mechanical counterparts (especially) so she doesn't feel like herself, or at least what she's supposed to be

Carving my initials in the back Of my hand in case of losing track

she has her original SCP designation tattoed on the upper right side of her back so there's that

I forgot, remember to forgive? It’s times like this that make me wish that I wished that I could live, I don’t wish I could live But somebody’s got to stay

forgetting, remembering, they're all dangerous things in different contexts of the Foundation. and "somebody's got to stay" is one of the things that gives her a reason to keep living. you can interpret that however because it applies to a lot

[vaguely-yandere]

good morning chami <33

just woke up and now i have to go work at my silly little part time job :// school also begins for me tomorrow so now i’ll be a working student!! (ahaha save me)

i don’t even get sleep paralysis, but what about a sleep paralysis demon yan… one that initially scares the sh!t out of you one night when you wake up and see it out of the corner of your eye… it’s a dark, shadowy figure, vaguely human, but you can tell it’s looking at you. you’re freaking out but you also have been dealing with sleep paralysis for a while, so this encounter isn’t entirely unexpected, thank god. you’ve just never seen a figure before today.

each night it seems to get a little closer. sometimes, as you drift off to sleep, you can almost hear little whispers of awe and praise, but you’re certain you’re hearing things. the closest it’s ever gotten was at the foot of your bed, just looking at you expectantly, but never moving closer. like a good dog being told to wait. honestly, some fucked up part of your brain is telling you that it’s a little cute, always staring at you but never doing much more. you even managed to smile a little bit during one night, and it definitely wasn’t expecting you to look at it so fondly, because it looked shocked (as shocked as a wispy demon could be) and promptly disappeared. it came back the next night of course, but it was back to its original far corner of your room.

maybe it’s a little shy??

- sunny <3

entities,,,, <3 also, good... day? night? idk my sleep schedule is all over the place lol but i hope youve had a pleasant time at work! (and sorry it took me so long to get to this!)

but, well, i imagine paralysis demon yan being pretty one dimensional (pun intended!).... are sleep paralysis demons one dimensional..? mine kinda were! i think. i kinda blocked that out as much as i could! it was weird.

anyway!!!!! this is a good idea, i just don't seem to have the type of creativity to really build off of it! (if someone is reading this and does, pls pls build off of it, i will kiss you consentually) but i think it'd be fuckin terrifying to wake up and just see them laying next to you, hearing distorted panting, seeing their form squirm more than ever and they're just. staring at you.

you know that video game with the sleep paralysis demon that whispers to you? i think itd kinda be like that!! batshit terrifying. and scary. but you kinda just get used to it after a while and, well, sometimes they manage to move your blankets back into place or pick up a pillow/stuffed animal you dropped and tuck it back into your arms, sometimes you wake up with your hair in a more protective style if you went to sleep without one (highly recommend looking up sleeping hairstyles for all hair types, saved me SO MUCH time and tangles!!!)and yea, sometimes you see them when you're awake and yeah, sometimes you overhear someone who was rude to you talking about having terrifying sleep paralysis even though they've never had that issue before and yeah, if you leave snacks out specifically for them with a note attached to clarify it's for them, they're gone in the morning and yea, sometimes you can see them trying to push you down and tuck you in when you stay up too late but those are minor things!!! everyone has a completely crazy moment in their life where they have a very intense delusion their sleep paralysis demon is in love with them, right???? hahahaha (poor darling omg)

and i hope you're into somno cause that's the only way you'll be able to have sex with em. i mean, y'all've tried doing it without you falling asleep but it just leaves both of you wanting more. the faint tickly feelings that could maybe possibly be them touching you in the pitch black darkness of your room just isn't enough! and everytime y'all try, poor Yan just sits by the edge of your bed, pouting... maybe. it's hard to tell cause of the lack of a proper human face.

and just laying there while they touch you has GOT to be trippy. cause you're aware of it but also not? like being mostly asleep and unable to tell what's a dream and what's reality and you're just so comfy and warm that you don't care which is which, as long as you get to stay in bed <3

[catcze]

I saw a tiktok of someone drawing Diluc as Flynn Ryder from Tangled earlier today and ‘at last I see the light’ was playing over it, and I,,, it sounded so much like Diluc?? Idk but I wanna make a Tangled AU for the man now I––

warnign mild spoilers for Diluc’s past + the manga

Like like like,,,, Just some rough ideas, but maybe this takes place after his dad dies n before he comes back to the winery, so he’s on like his full vigilante mode rn right. And like,,, what if the reader is like some sort of monarch from Fontaine or smthn that’s set to be married to someone they don’t know around the time of their next birthday, and they’re scared because all their life they’ve never seen much outside their prim and proper family estate, and they know that after being married off, all that awaits them is another set of closed doors. So they’re desperate to get out for even a little while, right?

So when a certain vigilante comes into their estate one night, looking for a member of the Fatui that the reader’s family had been housing as a guest, the reader somehow unarms and subdues him (maybe with the element of surprise + their own vision idk) and they take Diluc’s Delusion from him. The reader makes a deal with Diluc for him to bring them,,, somewhere (idk where yet Im still undecided, but I’m leaning to either the Moonchase / Lantern Rite festival of Liyue) before their birthday, because they’ve heard stories of how beautiful the place gets from their house help that originated from Liyue, and to bring them back home before their parents return from a business trip to Sumeru or smthn, they’ll return his Delusion. So obvs queue the travelling montage + some other stuff, and they fall for each other along the way. (but I wanna add that the reader doesn’t find out that Diluc is Diluc Ragnvindr. They just think he’s some rando lmao)

I don’t want this to have as much drama as the actual movie lmao bc I’m not good at that, so instead, the two of them realize their feelings at the Liyue festival, n they kiss n maybe fuck idk we’ll see kajsndskja But at the end of the day, they both know that what they have going on can’t last bc of both of their situations, so there’s that sorta quiet acceptance, and making the most out of their time together before Diluc returns the reader back home and the reader gives him his delusion back.

When he does bring him home safely (thankfully before their parents arrive home–– I like to think that the house help love the reader, and were super supportive of Diluc bringing them out aksjdjs) they share a goodbye kiss at the reader’s window, the reader gives him his Delusion, and they part ways.

kjsnda OKAY so skip a bit forward until it’s the day before the reader’s birthday (btw, just wanna mention that the reader n Luc are of the same age here akjsdsa) and they’re gearing up to meet their future spouse, right. The reader’s got some sort of memorabilia that Diluc got for them when they were in Liyue on their person or in their hand, and the reader was wishing that the person they could be with was the dashing, sorta socialy awkward vigilante that gave them the most memorable few days of their life. 

So the reader is getting prepped for their future spouse to come in, right, when one of their parents comes into the room, hair frazzled and eyes wide with shock bc guess who just sent a message expressing his interest in the reader, and his desire to have the reader’s hand in marriage instead? No shit, it’s mf Diluc Ragnvindr, uncrowned king of Mondstadt, one of the richest men in Teyvat, incredibly influential even in Fontaine, runs one of the most profitable businesses anywhere, and he’s asking you to marry him.