#i got a little ranty and i apologize

[sakebytheriver]

No, actually it shows that he's a cuck to the neoliberal civlity politics that the Democratic party handcuffs themselves to which ultimately leads to the decay of their ability to effectively campaign against literal neonazis and some of the dumbest motherfuckers to ever walk this earth

Look, I'm not a "don't vote" bitch, but I'm also not the bitch who will dick ride the Democratic party when they fail at being effective politicians and campaigners

The reason we have to have all this voting discourse in the first place is because the Democratic party cannot pick a candidate to save their lives, literally. Sure Joe Biden's entire record hasn't been as bad as his handling of the genocide in Gaza, but his campaign? His ability to look like an effective candidate in the eyes of the American electorate? Absolute dogshit.

The job of president is very different from the job of candidate and Trump is very very good at playing the role of candidate

The neoliberal civility politcs that the Democrats seem to believe is what will make the voters choose them mixed with their absolutely overbearing superiority complex and the overall aristocratic dynastic view of the people who front their political party is what will undo them. It goes back to the fact that Ruth Bader Ginsberg refused to retire before her flesh bucket expired because she got high off her own supply and believed herself to be ontologically superior to another judge who could take her place

The issue is that the Democrats are stuck believing they have to be above it all and try to reach across the aisle giving credence to people who want to genocide anyone they deem undesirable, they want to operate on this idea that they're "the adults in the room" but all they end up doing is come across to the electorate as spineless, condescending, and absolutely weak rich pricks who are completely out of touch with the American public

Joe Biden attempting to reach out to Trump after an attempted assassination attempt shows nothing except that he knows how to play the game and make the most standard and basic of gestures in a time like this, and ultimately the Democrats obsessive need to uphold the false idea that the American politcal system is some kind of noble exceptional system creating a mythos around it as if it's the new divine right of kings will be the undoing of the incredibly fragile illusion of liberal Democracy the American public has fought for centuries to take from the land owning elites

[jewishgirlrevolt]

More 8x06 thoughts. Still processing

I've been trying to express my feelings about 8x06 on paper, and there's still so much swirling in my head. So apologies if this is too long and ranty.

The GA isn't happy for a lot of reasons. One was that Tommy did fit with the 118, he was friends with Eddie and Chim. Two: they were happy Buck was in a relationship, and it seemed like (at least in season 7) that he was finally off the hamster wheel. And they like Eddie and Buck's friendship and don't want to see them together. After all the BS takes I've seen from you-know-whos, I can't say I disagree at all.

It's like neither Buck nor the writers have learned anything from past love interests. Tommy is the one with the most potential because of how well he fits, and he clearly has a lot of abandonment issues. Hey, so does Buck. That could have been a great point to explore.

I don't think Buck needs to sleep around to explore himself. But I do think Buck never fully processed anything.

It's wild that Buck and Tommy dated for six months and NEVER had any real conversations about exes? Tommy does strike me as the kind of person who keeps people at arm's length, who maybe doesn't say much about his past unless he has to. He could have also held back because he was letting Buck set the pace. I know Tommy isn't a main character. But they could have done so much more with this and with him. Hopefully its not the end.

The show also did nothing to show Buck's growth in a relationship, aside from the fact that he kissed a boy and liked it.

8x01 showed us that Buck was competent, professional, and mature, and stupidly I was hoping that would extend to his relationship too.

I think Buck has to figure out what he wants out of a relationship, I hope we see more of Buck talking to Josh or Hen and then he and Tommy work on making a relationship that's lasting, honest, and full of love (if we're grudging up Abby, we can continue the red string here and make that nod too)

What also bothers me is they took 3 episodes to build Buck and Tommy and show us that they have chemistry and that Tommy shows up for Buck, they had two more moments where it was clear they were getting to know each other and were solid in season 7.

And then it took them 1 episode to tear it all down without ever showing Buck showing up for Tommy. They were supposed to be getting to know each other. But six months in, it's like they didn't even know each other at all... or actually. It's like Buck didn't know Tommy at all.

I find it frustrating that we got to see so little of them, and most of it was Tommy doing things for Buck, showing up for Buck, complementing Buck, and taking care of Buck. A relationship has to be a two-way street. You show up for me, I show up for you.

And I'm glad Tommy showed up for Buck. Buck deserves love. But so does Tommy. Tommy was clearly looking for love, IDk if he was looking for a family or anything long term. Maybe he was dealing with a bad breakup and Buck was adorable, and he thought, maybe this could be a thing for now, but he ended up falling for him, clearly, and panicked. But I think on some level he was looking for someone to show up for him too, even when things got hard. And maybe this is foreshadowing. I hope it is. But I refuse to get my hopes up about it, or about Buck's love life ever again.

[oreo-oro-orero]

I thought I would talk more about how I feel Ekko is often mistreated or ignored by the Arcane fandom and why I think that is and spoiler alert I Anti-Blackness is at least a part of it.

Ekko is subjected to what a lot of black boys are too in real life which is  adultification. Ekko just like a lot of black boys was essentially forced to grow up and due to this I think a lot of the Arcane Fandom treat him as an adult and thus judge him more harshly just like how in real life black boys are often treated as older then they actually are and thus are subjected to more scruinty and Ekko is sadly constantly subjected to this by the fans. This is in direct contrast with Jinx who seems to be given a lot more leeway which to a certain extent is understandable because it is her story essentially but I still find it odd how she is given the "oh poor baby pushed around by the big bad world must protect" but Ekko is just given a side glance and a "he's doing fine" when both Ekko and Jinx deserve that "need to protect" additude but yet it feels like Jinx is given the most of the protection and Ekko is just left to fend for himself.

Honestly I don't think a lot of the Arcane Fandom looks at Ekko as a victim and that is genuinely upsetting. They look at his situation as more of a success story but even then his "success" is is very sad when you think about it.  Yes he built a community and yes I guess he did "turn out okay" despite his situation but he shouldn't have had build that community in the first place and just because he did doesn't mean he's healed, trauma doesn't just go away because your relatively okay compared to everyone else. I also think his hurt isn't taken as seriously as the other characters because he doesn't actively display it as much, in total his hurt is displayed in two main instances and that's it mostly, the other times he's on screen he's either angry or at the very least mildly annoyed or somber which is interesting because this is most likely a mask he wears and this mask is a direct result of the adultification I talked about earlier. 

Ekko suffers from what a lot of black characters do which is that despite them going through the same or sometimes even more trauma then non black characters, their trauma is often overlooked or downplayed to be less then it is which is something that happens in IRL to black people all the time. Also this mischaracterization of Ekko extended to Shipping as well to where some people label him as an abuser towards Jinx which is ironic because he is one out of like 2 other characters that doesn't actively kill anyone and if anything he tries to avoid that as much as possible so I genuinely don't understand where this abuser assumption came from, is it because they genuinely Believe it or is it because they saw a black man being aggressive an automatically assumed he was the one in the wrong in the situation.

I got a little bit ranty there and I apologize but Ekko is my favorite character from the show and just fiction in general and I feel like he has so much to offer but he is seemingly being mistreated by other fans of the show and that just doesn't sit right with me. I just hope next season really gives him his time in the spotlight.

[molinaesque]

On the topic of Raphael and him "being bad in bed".

Okay I'm only ever going to talk about this at length once and then never again. I've been avoiding talking about it until now because bringing it up always just seems to keep this topic in circles and it becomes an endless pit of nothing.

First of all, I know most of the time (like maybe 70% of the time) it's for the lolz. I get it. Hell, Raphael fans will be the FIRST to quip about this.

BUT

For those taking it seriously one way or another... It becomes such old hat VERY fast.

Those who use it as a jab towards Raphael havers are... Kinda dumb. Because it's like... Okay, and? You act as if somehow negates the entirety of his character somehow just because "HAR HAR HANDSOME DEVIL MAN IS BAD AT SEX" and it's so... vapid and boring? Also it seems a lot of people keep thinking "bad at sex" = JUST that he finishes too fast and nothing else but they seem to forget that the player character came up with that insult on the spot (rather than seeing it as a commentary about his pure selfishness and where it stems from). Haarlep is also a bias source. There's a semblance of resentment from them AND they're a damn incubus. EVERYONE'S terrible in bed in comparison (have you seen Tav? Little shit just lays there like a sack of potatoes during the Haarlep scene). This isn't me saying "Oh it means Raphael is terrific in bed because Haarlep's word cannot be trusted". HELL, no. Quite the opposite, actually. I'm saying "okay... What can I glean from that set of information?"

I feel like this goes for Raphael havers too who have this conversation. I feel like many tend to fall into this trap of odd desparity when they realise that "oh no our magnificent hot man is bad at sex" and somehow treat it as if it's forever a caveat and somehow negates the ENTIRETY of Raphael as a complex character. My first reaction when I got this information during House of Hope was laughing and then going "mmm that's so interesting and adds such a great layer to this already amazing character. Where else can I take this to". In fact, House of Hope as a quest does SO much in adding all these tidbits that make Raphael not just another boring, all knowing, god like, ineffible character. It made me love and appreciate his character even MORE. instead of going in circles and lamenting in how this is somehow "the worst thing ever", I think it's way more fun to explore it and delve into where the root of his narcissism and self esteem issues come from. The dichotomy and complexes of his character. There's SO much to talk about there and yet we're still just stuck on "haha devil man is a bottom and bad in bed" (which is another ridiculous thing btw because people seem to misconstrue bottoms as JUST being submissive. Y'all need to be more open minded 😂).

Apologies if this came off as ranty/condescending maybe. But it's coming from someone who's just minding her own business but have to see a variation of that line CONSTANTLY in the notes/tags on my art/gif posts and as I said... It gets so old REALLY fast. Like please be more imaginative than this, I beg of you. 😭

[ilikekidsshows]

Would love to know your take on Nathalie’s "redemption."

Oh, you guys want Dunking on Nathalie Hours next? Okay, this is gonna be really ranty but I promise it's based on actual analysis. Yeah, let's go.

Look, Nathalie and Félix shouldn’t have been redeemed. Not because I think they’ve done anything irredeemable, but because it just wasn’t logistically feasible. The very rules of their universe mean that their “redemptions” were always going to be only surface level, that they’ll just profess to how much they care about Adrien without actually doing anything to prove those feelings, because Miraculous just loves meaningless words that don’t amount to anything these days, like with Marinette apologizing for her lying while lying some more.

Even after they “join” the good guys’ side. Nathalie and Félix are both still complicit in whatever crimes and villainy Gabriel commits because they know he is Hawk Moth. They know where his lair is, so they could even produce evidence to prove it to the police. Because Nathalie and Félix don’t get Gabriel put away, they allow his evil to persist and him to keep committing his crimes. This is especially flagrant because they claim they want him away from Adrien, but they literally have the power to take Gabriel far away from Adrien and don’t act on it.

Arguably, you could claim Félix went further than Nathalie on the redemption, because he at least tried to tell Marinette Gabriel was full of shit. She just conveniently forgot that episode happened when it was time to actually take Gabriel down. Even so, at this point, Félix has access to one of the strongest Miraculouses and he won’t use it to take on Gabriel himself. He won’t even make sure that Marinette understood his cryptic message to her. It’s a gesture as pointless as his words, because he didn’t follow through.

Now, here’s the thing; in the end it doesn’t matter what Nathalie and Félix might want to do, because they just metaphysically can’t stop Gabriel. The very rules of the universe they exist in won’t allow them to lift a finger against Gabriel, because they are not Marinette. Miraculous has never allowed anyone other than Marinette to save the day, at least not without Marinette getting a lion’s share of the glory, even before the retooling turned Marinette into the center of the universe. Nathalie and Félix won’t go to the police with their information, because then they would be responsible for taking down Gabriel, not Marinette. This is even apparent in Félix’s failure to communicate his knowledge to Marinette. He chose the most convoluted method and didn't follow through, all so that Marinette could stumble into the knowledge herself, because god forbid if a character other than Marinette Astruc is allowed to do anything in the universe Thomas Astruc created for his little pretend daughter.

What was I talking about again? Right, Nathalie’s supposed redemption. I think Miraculous’ characters do too much talking and not enough acting when it comes to their motives and intentions. Why should we trust anything these characters say when they don’t act on it? Nathalie isn’t a good guy, she’s Harley Quinn lite: the only reason she stopped being evil is because she got bored of being evil and her always-shitty supervillain malewife was shit one too many times. Just because she stopped actively committing evil acts doesn’t mean she’s good now. At best she’s neutral, at worst she’s just an accomplice who retired from active villainy since she still keeps her boss’ secrets despite her claiming she’s done with him.

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Alrighty here’s mah lil ranty rant (But long, many apologies I dunno how I could shorten it)

Let’s start with Ada bc mommy- I mean mommy- I mean- (/j)

Ada Wong:

-So I see a lot of people trash Ada for the fact her personality seems to be more cold. She has distant she’s cruel (although she still seems to have lines she won’t cross, like with Wesker and the Las Plagas sample). I see people complain about that but I would like to make a hot take, here: it’s actually better. She’s a mercenary. She’s a gun for hire- her job has to be cold because she could be betraying her friends at any given second. In the older games, she was sort of just… I don’t know… A bit too human for the job, and the role in the story that she is meant to fill. I see people describing her as a Bella, and honestly, I strongly disagree. In fact, I would argue that the original was more of a Bella then the remakes. This is because all she was really there is for the generic “Ooh look pretty woman, bad ass eye candy” trope. I’m not saying that she didn’t have any depth as a character- I’m just saying that the remake gave her much more credit as a character, and made her much more interesting.

all right, moving onto the old man. (#1 Wesker hater over here I’m sorry I’m not sorry lol)

Albert Wesker:

-I know that I hate this guy, but even I have to appreciate that out of quite a few of the Weskers that have been made, this version is just better written. I see people complain that he is too angry and honestly, I disagree. The fact that he has a hidden anger, makes sense from a character perspective. And he’s getting increasingly more cheesed off at Spencer for obvious reasons. No wonder he’s pissed. Personally, I think the fact that they’re showing that he has emotions- he’s just learned to control them- is honestly much more compelling. I still hate the guy, but I can see where he’s coming from- in a twisted and a messed up way.

yeah. That’s it l. that’s all I got for him. I don’t really like him that much so he doesn’t deserve a whole essay like Ada imo. (Still like his character, though he’s very interesting.)

that’s my rant. Thanks for hearing me out -> I know this was ridiculously long. That’s why I asked permission first. I basically just wrote an entire essay in your asks and I am so sorry lmao

hjadsg no need to apologise. I may have to contest you for #1 wesker hater tho,,, 👀 I hate his guts too

BUT you're absolutely right the DLC added so much depth to their characters. and personally made wesker MORE hate-able to me personally because we just further see how messed up he is, to the point where even Ada - who has had to numb herself to the details of the job to survive - had visible negative reactions to his genocidal nonsense. I loved Lily's performance in the base game but she especially got to shine in the DLC, she absolutely nailed the cold look with emotion hidden underneath. Ada's cold exterior is her armour against her own emotions, she can't take a second to feel as that could be the second she dies, she doesn't have the luxury of emotional vulnerability; even though she does feel, she does care, she cannot afford to let herself. And little things like eye movements, lip twitches, subtle body language, and her inflections were all techniques Lily used to portray that tumultuous relationship between Ada and her feelings, and Lily did fucking amazing at it. Best Ada performance ever. Ada's never been allowed that depth before because she's always had to be palatable to the male audience :) so I'm glad she's finally getting it. And Wesker finally feels like a real villain, rather than just another power hungry white guy (which, he very much is, but now there's depth to it lol). Wesker's dialogue in the DLC is scary, and it makes the audience more aware of what exactly he believes and what his motives are. This DLC added so much to the base game that really drives it as my favourite RE game.

[madamemaximoff06]

Rory Culkin’s “worst” Acting performance

(Let me state this before I got massive hate, I put worst in air quotes (massive air quotes) because I’m not at all calling Rory a bad actor, he’s the furthest thing from it, he’s really good and he’s one of my favorite actors, just this acting performance he did, didn’t really do it for me and I will explain why, I would just like to rant about this because I’ve been rewatching this movie and I’ve been thinking about it and I wanted to see if anyone else noticed it like I did.)

Yes we’re talking about Lords of Chaos.

(Let me also preface this, I’m the kind of person that is known to over analyze everything, Everything that I bring up will be mainly talking about the Movie, I will sometimes bring up moments in real life but I won’t be over analyzing the real life people because they were real life people and I didn’t know what they were thinking at the time, I’m not at all qualified to make assumptions on real life people however I can do that with “fictionalized” versions of those real life people, if I get really ranty I apologize, and if it seems like I’m just pulling stuff out of my ass, I probably am, I tend to do that and make everything over complicated, this is just how I analyze stuff) Now I like Lords of Chaos, it’s not my favorite Rory Culkin film, but it was the first that I watched that got me obsessed with him (shoutout to all the edits that I saved of him as Euronymous, what can I say, I’m sucker for metal heads)(Okay Technically Scream 4 was my first Rory Culkin Film but that didn’t lead me to my obsession)

So when i first watched Lords of Chaos I wasn’t at all prepared for what I was getting into, I had never heard of the band “Mayhem” and I knew nothing about the backstory on them so when I watched it I was shocked.

I didn’t know if I liked at first but rewatching it, it’s quite entertaining, if you ignore all the inaccuracies in this movie and you just watch like you would any movie, in my opinion, it’s a good movie, it’s not fantastic by any means, it has it’s moments of being shitty but it’s good, it’s a decent movie but probably my biggest gripe with this movie is the acting and the dialogue. (They’re are some great actors in this movie like the guys that played Pelle, Faust and HellHammer, they killed it and then there are some that there acting is really to much, like they’re trying to hard, the guy that plays Varg is probably my biggest example of this, I don’t know just something about his portrayal is just to much and also to little at the same time, like he does say some over the top stuff but the way he says it just doesn’t speak volumes as it should, you know? Also I saw a comment that said that when Varg laughs he sounds like Chris from Family Guy and i can’t unhear it)

Now this is movie about the birth of Norwegian Black Metal so of course there are going to be a lot of the best way I can put it is edgy dialogue, they truly wanted to be different, to have people fear them so they do need to be over the top but it could probably just be me growing up in the Creepypasta community in 2016/2017 but i just hear it as a bunch of kids trying to edgy so it doesn’t really do a job at making them fearful, it’s just them being over the top edge lords, in fact sometimes I find it funny but sometimes I find it cringey and just sometimes not necessarily but that could just be me.

All of the actors did what they could with the script which like I said, had some cringey over the top dialogue and I think that it really affected people’s performances especially Rory’s. Now I’m finally gonna get to talking about Rory.

Now I don’t hate Rory as Euronymous, I still do like his performance as Euronymous But it’s just some of his performances sticks out to me the most for a lot of the wrong reasons. Now what I absolutely love about Rory as an actor is just how natural of an actor he is, meaning that he actually sounds and acts like a real person having a conversation when he acts, it doesn’t feel like your watching a movie sometimes because of how natural it feels. But when it comes to “Lords of Chaos” that natural feeling isn’t there, a lot of his dialogue seems forced and like I said it’s over the top and it just feels odd, some of his dialogue seems clunky (if that makes sense) and even if he’s talking like a normal person, sometimes it still suffers from that same problem of the dialogue not really hitting right. I'd say that his performance as Euronymous is probably his "weakest" performance, he has his moments of being great but you really have to look for it.

I’ll find an example to show:

the dialogue just sounds I don’t know off, like it doesn’t sound natural or at least as natural as it could be.

And it sucks because if you’ve watched other movies that he’s been in like Jack Goes Home and Gabriel for example, I think those are probably his most emotional roles, he puts everything into those characters, there is so much depth to them and emotion and so much life to these characters, and when you watch Lords of Chaos, it just isn’t really there as much.

And I think the biggest problem is that it’s a BioPic, Because the actors are playing real people, real life people and it is such a hard task to do, why do you think a lot of BioPics are hit or miss, in my opinion being in a BioPic is probably the hardest thing you could do as an Actor because you’re not playing a character, your playing a real person and I think that the role of Euronymous is a really big role seeing as he was an awful person in real life and there are so many aspects to his time as the creator of Mayhem, it’s a difficult role and I truly Believe that Rory did the absolute best he could, but I think it could have maybe been directing issues or just that this role is really challenging that really ruined his performance at least for me. It's not not like he's bad at being in BioPics, i mean he was in two before and after Lords of Chaos, 1. was Waco: Madman or Messiah and he played David Thibodeau in 2018, before he did Lords of Choas and he rocked those roles along with in 2022 he played in another BioPic Under the Banner of Heaven where he played Samuel Lafferty so it's not like it's his first time being in a BioPic film, i believe that the role of Euronymous is a really challenging role and he did the best he could.

BUT he does have some great small moments in this movie where he does have that natural charm and he feels like an actual person instead of the Euronymous persona that he puts on.

For example, Basically almost every scene with Pelle (Dead) and Euronymous, I think that both of them have honestly great chemistry together and even if in real life Dead and Euronymous weren’t close, in the movie you can really feel that Euronymous did care about him, Euronymous wanted to make music and he even says that when he heard Dead sing for the first time that it was beautiful and that he had never heard anything sound like that, he was perfect for Mayhem and you can tell that he wanted what was best for the band or what he thought was best and it’s even shown how much Euronymous still thinks about Dead like when he gets the call from Kerrang (or however you spell it) Magazine after Varg was accused of setting fires to the Churches and he has a picture of Dead’s body, the one he used for the album cover, we get a flashback in time to after he took the picture and he’s crying at the sight of Dead which really humanizes him which I’m not sure a lot of people like but once again Rory is coming in with his Naturalistic acting and showing that even though Euronymous did take pictures of Dead and did steal parts of his skull. It shows that even though Euronymous was this awful person, he is still human and he is literally sitting in front of someone that was his friend who blew his brains out, that would bring anyone no matter who you are to tears and you see him crying after I think the realization hits him. Before he calls everyone saying that “Pelle has gone home” and steps back into the Euronymous persona, he has this quiet moment with Dead.

Along with him finding Dead, Him getting to the house, throwing rocks at the window, Telling Pelle to open the door and then having to get a ladder to get into the house and then walking into the room and finding him, then he heads downstairs and then goes to call the police before stopping and going to get a camera to take the pictures of Dead, but it’s all the quiet moment that he has that really shine through.

Also when Euronymous tells Dead that there’s a cat outside and they go outside to kill it, it just shows them as two guys dicking around before Dead tells Euronymous to shoot him which he is shocked by. I think that that truly shock Euronymous to his core, because in this moment Dead is telling him to shoot him and he almost does before backing out because even though he act’s tough and evil, he can’t physically pull the trigger, he can’t fathom taking someone else’s life.

Also an underrated scene is when When he dyes his hair black and he asks his sister what she thinks, they have this cute sibling bonding moment even though his sister isn’t really in the movie as much, it still shows that they have a bond. Still humanizing him, I like that scene, it’s just a nice scene before everything goes down hill.

Another great acted scene is After the fires, Euronymous becomes paranoid that the police will find out that he is connected to the fires through Varg, I think he plays the paranoia perfectly, him wanting them to lay low for awhile, to keep the police off their backs, also when he finds out that Varg went to the press about the fires, Euronymous is angry and threatens to kill him, he grabs the taser and says that he’ll tie Varg to a tree, torture him and make a snuff film out of it.

All the scenes that humanize Euronymous are really where Rory’s acting talent can really shine through. It’s the little scenes that really show how great of an actor Rory is in it just sucks that you really have to really pay attention to it.

Now this is of course all just my analysis from rewatching Lords of Chaos and how I view it. Once again this isn’t my hating on Rory as Euronymous or him as an actor, this is just something I noticed that I think ruins the movie for me a bit.

[batbirdies]

✨ 💝 💌 💫

Hiiiii so first apologies for taking so long to answer this. I'm primarily a mobile user but writing this much on my phone when I want it to actually be readable (and not the garbage tags I put on things) is a TaskTM, so I waited until I could go on my laptop to do the rest of these :)

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

Probably my most recent one shot honestly lol, My Heart Has Joined The Thousand. I probably am a bit spoiled from writing ongoing chapter fics more than anything else, so those tend to gain readership as you go and you get more comments per chapter etc. But I expected this fic to get more attention than it did? lol. No harm done of course.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Hmmmm 🤔this is tough because I want to say all of them to some degree 😅 usually in the way that I'll occasionally get comments that confuse me so much as to how someone could misinterpret my writing SO BADLY lmao.

But on a more positive note, my one shot Asymmetric Replies has gotten a lot more attention and kudos than I ever expected for a short fic with little drama and just some minor sibling bonding.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

oooh for once I actually have something in the works thats more than outline.

If he let her, Stephanie would spiral back into guilt. It would slither its slimy fingers back into her chest and leave her agonizing over what if she was telling the truth? And what if Stephanie just ruined everything by jumping to conclusions? And then she would get defensive against her own self judgement and defend her reaction, citing all the reasons to believe her mom was lying. And she’d work herself right back up into a ranting fury--that would abruply lose steam and give way, like it just had. 

And then the cycle would repeat. 

Jason had reasoned himself and his volatile emotions in circles enough times to recognize the signs. Right then he could see Stephanie’s hands shaking, and the way her shoulders curled in high and tight. He could still feel the chill of her fingers in his. 

She didn’t say when this conversation with her mom had happened but he was willing to bet that Stephanie had been arguing with herself in this same repeated cycle for more than just a little while before she decided to show up at his place and skip patrol. She’d come all the way over here in the rain, probably on her motorcycle, judging by the degree of dampness on her clothes.

What he knew was that she was cold, probably running on nothing but adrenaline, and stuck in the guilt-fury loop that Jason knew from experience wouldn’t end until she dropped from exhaustion or someone intervened. 

“Steph,” He said, voice a little stronger this time. He stepped after her into the living room and she turned to face him, expression wary, like she thought he was about to start lecturing her.

“This isn’t your fault, ok?” She blinked at him, face going through a miriad of expressions but never settling on one before she opened her mouth.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

Ah I think I answered this perviously but I just love long ranty comments analyzing the characters and their deeper motivations and feelings. <3

ask game

[bisluthq]

I think it ultimately comes down to a common sense thing. I'm about to be 17, so while I've been a fan (with the exception of Lover era and also most of the in between period of Red TV & Midnights) since Red, I obviously haven't been invested in the like stan culture side of things for the entire time I've been a fan because I was a very small child. I became a HARDCORE swiftie when evermore came out, and while I knew of Joe, I really did not care much about him. He was just there, and then he wasn't, and then she was dating Matty, and now she's dating Travis, just as she has dated many other people. People do that. It's not a wild concept.

I agree with your assessment of older people trying to marry her off. Very young fans (like younger than me, which baffles me. Me being born a year after debut came out is insane enough, but some of these people were born when Speak Now/Red came out and i just... Don’t think fandom spaces are a good place for people THAT young, or anyone really, as someone who was also in those space at like 13/14) scare me a little. Like it scares me that they are functional. It also scares me that are a lot of them are just SO, so so gullible. It's not there fault but it is very frustrating to encounter. It's the way of life. I know that. I was really fucking annoying when I was 13. Everyone was. I just don't think places like TikTok are the best place for them, nor were they for me.

This got very ranty - apologies. Dealing with dumb teenage stuff and feeling antsy.

I’ve been in fandom spaces since I was 11 (like going on websites and forums to look up stuff I’m interested in and I was also super into Yahoo! Answers) but the thing is when I was 11 the internet, while still a very strange place, was limited for me by virtue of dialup. I had to ask to “use the computer” and I had to ask again to “use the internet” because I was allowed more time on the computer than on the internet because the internet cut us off from the landline which was a big problem and also it was fuck expensive. We’d had it before I was 11 but I was really supervised before then and ONLY used it for school projects like to download a picture to stick on my project or something and my mom or dad or stepdad would do it with me also to make sure I didn’t download anything too big because again dialup so you paid for usage right and they didn’t want me downloading 50 million dolphin pics as 9 year old me would probably have done. At 11 I was allowed to “use the internet” but for like an hour a day tops if they were feeling very generous.

Then, when I was 13, we installed ADSL and I got *my* first computer that year. And since then I’ve pretty much been CHRONICALLY online - with some breaks for when I’ve been busy with like real world things but the breaks have lasted a year tops (and I mean that’s me being inactive in fandom not me not looking up articles and reading/watching things which I’ve done on the “breaks” too) like it really has been me being chronically online since I was 13 and if I’m dead honest, I’m not sure it was good for me. I think I was exposed to a lot of things I was too young for (but didn’t realize I was), I think I developed a more fighty personality, I think I wasted a lot of time that I could’ve spent doing something more productive (like obviously I did study and I did some extra murals and I had friends and I did and do exercise but if I’d spent my teens and early twenties idk doing my visual art - which I enjoy but am bad at - instead of arguing with people about Harry Potter and Doctor Who and shit like that, I think I’d be a better person for it).

I also believe that the internet’s changed a fair bit and not in a good way for kids - fandoms are now predominantly run through personal accounts, rather than on specialized forums, and platforms like TikTok and Insta are legit not super safe imho for kids to be active on because… kids are reaaally fucking stupid simply because they are kids and in my day being a BNF in fandom sorta just was cool for u but these days you could monetize it and idk about even kids your age thinking about socials as a career because they’re chronically online. Nothing wrong with doing Internet as your job but I don’t think it’s a decision kids should be making that early.

and yes, kids are gullible and lack life experience and often lack empathy (this is something that develops as you get older from a dev psych perspective - kids can’t really conceptualize it properly and they’re not supposed to be able to developmentally because they need to develop a sense of self first).

ultimately though, I’m not these kids’ parents or auntie or big sister (and neither are you) so we can say like “this doesn’t seem crazy good for them” but beyond that eh. They’re gonna say stupid stuff because they really shouldn’t be THAT online in the first place lol. Nothing wrong with enjoying whatever it is you are enjoying at 13 but being active in fandom spaces isn’t the best for you imho and if it were my kid, I’d limit screen time and actually tbh if it were my kid I’d like make an effort to be involved in the fandom too to a degree to see what’s going on and that my kid isn’t following complete psychos. Like if my kid was super into idk something I know fuck all about and don’t participate in the fandom of, I’d make it my mission to find out what’s going on there. I think a lot of millennial parents are doing that, I wouldn’t be special. But a lot of Gen X parents, while also very into internet, don’t seem to fully grasp what’s going on here. And Boomers are REALLY confused by internet so the contingent of Boomers with kids in their teens (and there are some) are really gonna do the 2024 version of what parents did in the 70s/80s of like “okay go out and be freeeeee” and idk that they should be doing that lol.

Anyway, this was also a rant, but I think it’s on parents.

[pfqsewers]

Personally I do understand why shelter/daycare would be swapped. Especially since In my opinion, it does seem more logical for the daycare to not be so extremely limited. And I think most users do use the shelter for their hunts. (and the lag is pretty irritating.)

But where my worries lie is how its going to be handled exactly. I have grinded a lot of GP just to get the X pass. And I know users have spended the equivelant of 10 euros (in my currency) for the star pass. So do the upgrades move over to the daycare instead? Do we get refunded? Or..knowing Niet's greed. Do we have to purchase all those upgrades again?

Apologies if its a little ranty, I struggle putting my thoughts into short sentences.

6 is very extreme limit for both daycare and shelter, i think niet went too extreme on this and people got pissed out and yeah, the informations about what would happen to existing passes were too vague

[latineslytherin]

It is honestly so refreshing to read someone who actually knows their stuff in gaming development, Fandom, I squeeked in excitement when u mentioned crunch (not bc I like that it's a standard in so many dev cycles and you KNOW that). But yeah. I would love if the whole discussion would be more nuanced. I understand that it's a lot about feelings but it never works when you tell someone that they can't have something (I think a good example would be meat eater vs. Vegan and how THAT vegan person™️ approaches). I am so exited to read more of your block!

I also apologize for any typos or spelling/grammar errors. I rely heavily on my autocomplete to know what it's doing - I am not a native speaker.

I know a few people in the industry and have been a gamer and in fandom since 20+years. I was a volunteer QA for a few games that had early access to alpha. And now I do QA (among other things) for a software company so like - I understand on a basic level whats up in the gaming industry. And if there's something I don't know, I know people in the industry currently that have ranted and vented to me about that I can ask.

The gaming industry is just so much more stressful and red-tape/bureaucracy and answering to shareholders/investors - people have no idea how hard it is to fight for certain features and representation in non-indie game development. So much that when a game DOES have it - its like WOAH who are the game devs who risked their job to bring that up over and over to the point they allocated resources for it? I wanna support that game for them!

Like I'm remembering how Mass Effect Andromeda - how one game writer fought so Vetra - an ALIEN (Turian) character - to be bisexual. The writer then left the ME team at the end of it because she was burned out for fighting for just that little bit that only a small minority of players would even come across! (And also lead writer was an asshole from the Halo writing team). And that's from Bioware - owned by EA who finally gave us insane representation in Sims after I dunno -HOW MANY YEARS?! And if you know the history of how THAT came to be - is just amazing.

Like I get it, we should support indie devs - but not all indie devs are going to be able to give us the kind of game we want that bigger devs CAN and do give us. Because the rep isn't the focus for a lot of games - it's the story (especially in RPG) and the gameplay - and if they can - maybe if they have the man hours/ resources work in the rep. I think about how there was ONE guy who spent hours of extra and unpaid time to make sure the Iron Bull romance was playable for all races/gender in Dragon Age Inquisition because otherwise there just wasn't resources allocated to make that be a thing - and yet because he sacrificed his own time he did it.

Also like the Crunch thing - I understand. In my industry there is crunch - currently I'm in 50+ hour work week crunch time for the next 4 months (I don't get overtime, I'm salaried). But I commiserate with the gaming industry when it's crunch time because I get it and they have it so much worse. So hell yeah I'm gonna support them when I get something - however little.

Anyway yes…people are talking about the gaming industry without like truly understanding the nuance of what its like to work in the industry even a little.

(wow this got long and ranty, sorry about that. also you're good on spelling. I understood.)

[msgrumpygills]

Hi Friend,

A little suggestion, not give an obvious hater any space on you blog by sharing their ask, they won’t admit it but they love the attention. If you do share a response from say a clearly bonkers Jared Stan an “Okay, Becky” or “Sure, Becky” is the only reply I’d give them. They get off on you engaging with them.

Oh and here’s the real tea on Jared, ready?????? He experienced something that impacts 25% of the citizens in the US alone. Hey had celebrity resources and he used them, and then he provided his story of what happened. Did he make the whole thing up? Highly unlikely. Did he decide on what narrative he wanted to use to frame the situation? Highly likely.

As you have said, it’s good he recognized there was an issue and had the resources to address. It the sad truth is that mental healthcare in the United States is a luxury. Insurance provides little help, and even if you have the money you also need the time.

It would be such a wonderful thing if Jared used his influence in Austin to work with local organizations and lawmakers to make mental health resources more available.

I typed up a decent length reply to this, ate dinner, and then came back and the reply was gone. WELP. Let’s try and do this again! 

Hi friend! 

I try my best to not give the trolls any attention and the ones I do share are usually the ones that are so off the wall and bonkers that I just laugh at them. Last night though, I went to straight blocking because they stopped being funny and now they’re getting abusive, over the top and violent. But the Becky response is funny!

I never once said that Jared 100% faked his breakdown. Even the person who asked about it and brought up the gossip sites didn’t say for a fact that Jared “faked a suicide attempt”. Where these unhinged clowns got that from, I’ll never know. Their lack of reading comprehension is beyond me. They decided to take their warped version of reality and run with it, spreading lies about people and getting abusive towards them, using slurs and all sorts of things. Makes no sense, but we know that the unhinged Jared stans aren’t the brightest bulbs and are complete hypocrites. But birds of a feather I suppose! 

I never criticized Jared for his mental health, I’ve commended him for speaking out about anxiety and depression and bringing awareness to it. What I do criticize is the fact that now that the novelty has worn off, unless he’s shilling a t-shirt or a campaign where he’s getting a profit or he (or his fans) are using his mental health as a free pass from criticism, he doesn’t mention it. It really makes it seem like he uses it when it’s convenient or when he gets something out of it. The original AKF campaign I think was very genuine but then it turned into a way to make money and a shield for him to hide behind. It’s sad that he hasn’t tried to push for more resources and information at least in Austin since he’s so pro-Austin when it comes to everything else. 

What’s even sadder is his stans that will cry mental health advocacy and AKF but then they turn into the most disgusting bullies towards everyone, not even stopping to think that these people they’re attacking may have mental health issues themselves. 

This got ranty and I apologize! 

[dahniwitchoflight]

man, a lot been happening on the internet lately, talking about content creators and parasocial relationships being a big topic recently

I almost don’t wanna post anything about it, cuz I’m not sure how to avoid any sort of stirring of the pot, but there’s an angle to this situation that I think a lot of people are confused about, and that’s “where does the fault lie when a person gets hurt in a parasocial relationship?”

And people I guess are thinking this is some sort of case of power dynamic’s, but I think thinking of it in these terms is incorrect to be perfectly honest

does a content creator seem to have a lot of sway over someone who’s fallen into a parasocial relationship with them? sure it can seem that way

but is that the content creator’s fault? No, as bad as that sounds to the tumblr crowd

this is NOT the power dynamic between an abusive father and their child, or a skeezy boss and their secretary, or any other real abusive power dynamic where the victim faces some sort of real consequence for not being compliant with the abuser’s wishes

this is the dynamic between a casino and someone with a gambling addiction.

can you argue that the gambling addiction/parasocial relationship wouldn’t exist without the casino/creator existing? sure you can

can you argue that it’s within the interests of the casino/content creator to get customers and fans? absolutely

but can you also say that the problem in the situation here is inherent to the person with the actual addiction problem here? someone who gets too invested in the scenario through their own desires and or addiction problems? That many people can go to a casino or be a fan of a person in a perfectly reasonable healthy amount and never get hurt or encounter any issues? Yeah

Even if you dislike the casino/creator and have hard feelings for putting you into a situation where you believed you were gonna win it all, even though the odds of that happening were never in your favor, and rightfully feel you’ve been victimized by them, the casino/creator existing and doing there thing I really don’t believe is the thing at fault here

I think there’s something to the idea that people who are vulnerable to addictions like gambling and thinking that theyll win the jackpot of millions against impossible odds is not too dissimilar from a singular fan of some content creator thinking, this is it, I’m the one theyll fall in love with over everyone else, against all the odds itll be me

and also whatever prevents them from realizing that the consequences of losing would apply to them as well, other people in the casino might lose all their savings, but it wont happen to me. Other people might get lost in the fantasy and then end up being dumped, but it wont be me

I think the brain juice would see these as very similar situations, and this addiction angle I think explains a lot for how people get into parasocial relationships in the first place and why they feel like it’s so hard to get out 

but people are still free to believe that casino’s/content creators are morally corrupt institutions, just from their nature of the fact that their livelihood depends on people and fans crowding to their type of entertainment

At the end of the day, they cannot control what their fans are going to do, they can’t read the minds of anyone who chooses to come to their establishment, they can’t know at a glance or through conversation who’s going to get addicted and who isn’t, they can only see warnings signs after the fact and then damage control, it’s just a messy reality of life that it happens

There are best practices to prevent these types of things sure but those don’t catch every case and inevitably there are going to be people who fall through the cracks anyway

the correct approach here is to mitigate the addiction problem. that’s the real thing at fault here, not any one person

so to answer the question, where does the fault lie when someone gets hurt in a parasocial relationship?

you might be a victim yes, but not a victim of the casino, as much as it can feel like that, your a victim of an unfortunate affliction

people can be dismissive and yell all they want about alcoholics being drunks, or gamblers having no spine and should just be able to not go to a casino, or people who are overinvested fans should just be able to stop back and not care about a creator so much, but I understand that it’s not that easy

but it still doesn’t make it the fault of whatever you got addicted to, It doesn’t make it anyone’s fault, and the casino/creator has less power over an addicted individual than you think, short of banning them entirely, there isn’t much they can do from their end to mitigate an individual’s behavior, I think that is something some people need to hear, I hope people don’t think I’m callous or believe that people weren’t genuinely hurt by the events that happened to them or something

but the fix to this problem doesn’t lie on the casino’s/creator’s end, it lies in mitigating the addictive disorder in the individual’s in particular’s end

this is purely speaking from someone who runs a blog and has thoughts for a fandom that once upon a time a lot of people seem really invested in, (not so much nowadays lol) 

I cannot control anyone of you, I don’t know any one of you, no matter how much I might try or get close or how close any person out there gets to me, I still can’t predict when I might encounter someone who seems overly starstruck, and in no way do I have the ability to navigate those kinds of relationships properly. I simply do not have that sort of therapeutic training and I think it’s a little bit unreasonable for people to expect that from me, despite how charismatic or not I seem like

I just have indeed had instances where another person got really overinvested in “Dahni Witch of Light”  and wanted to be in my inner circle of socialness and friends and might have been hurt when I declined that, but at the same time, I can’t do anything about that  (thankfully I’m not any sort of real popular LOL and it’s only really happened like once or twice, that I know of, since they made their feelings clear to me in private, but that’s still one or two people that might have gotten hurt)

So what does this all have to do with stuff?

I’ve read all the anecdotes about both Dan Avidan and Vinny Vinesauce, read all the docs, see all these people’s point of view, and yeah it sucks that they got hurt by the circumstances, but all that stuff meant to paint these people in a bad light? did more to me to paint them in a really good light

I saw nothing but people making sure they had the comfort and consent of everything they were involved in, doing best practices when it comes to relationships, talking about their feelings, about their expectations and also doing what they can to protect themselves and their privacy

again the worst things I saw about either of them, is danny building up the fantasy of being with a rockstar a bit too much, egging on any potential parasocial relationship issues that might have already existed, and vinny giving someone HPV (which, is debunked in of itself because that’s not how HPV works in men, even outside of vinny that’s just not how it works.)

the rest of all the stuff I saw esp in the vinny doc, was people not even accusing vinny of saying or doing anything wrong either, but miles and miles of “I assumed he was thinking x” or ”I assumed he was feeling y” and no attempts to communicate with him about any issues they had with him, because they felt awkward doing so, and instead let it fester inside them until they got hurt by it

this is not sexual assault, their mild discomfort about stuff never even happened over sexual topics, just bland things like him over-venting to them sometimes or having lowkey mental issues like being paranoid a little, this is not even being intentionally hurt by someone,  this is being bad at communicating with your partner and letting yourself endure a relationship you weren’t actually happy with, because you didn’t want to get dumped by the person you were invested in

and if you feel like you can’t honestly communicate with your partner, not because of anything they did to you, but because of your own internal conflict over how famous he is, and feeling like you’re forced to endure things you aren’t vibing with in a personal relationship

(mind you, I mean the things they said they endured in the doc which was, they didn’t like when vinny would get ranty about his friends or previous sexual encounters he had that went bad or they got weirded out because they thought he was too paranoid about stuff when they were together....which... okay so like tell him you don’t want to hear about that stuff? communicate your problems to your partner? end of story? you never even attempted that, you never even gave examples of things you thought he would do to you other than dump you if you spoke up...... which, I’m sorry, but that’s not some sort of consequence a victim faces from their abuser.... so you can’t even say he would have had a bad reaction, especially when you give examples of him doing exactly the opposite, apologizing for things that made other people uncomfortable WHEN theyve actually communicated to him that they were uncomfortable with it)

 -Those are signs that you are too overinvested and too parasocially invested with a person to have an honest relationship with them

like, heck these things aren’t even unique to partnerships, you should be able to communicate when anyone around you is making you uncomfortable, even friends, but if you can’t and the only reason you can’t is because of a parasocial investment in that person, that’s not healthy on your end

Danny sure seems to have been a little bit at fault for building up the fantasy of catching feelings for a famous dude when he intended one night stands, is that the best way to have navigated the situation? No probably not, but to a person who doesn’t have a parasocial relationship with him, this behavior would just be disappointing when the fantasy fizzled out, it’s not inherently harmful

after that point, if after the fact a person who had any sort of interaction with them felt hurt by the experience, there honestly is not much more a content creator could have done to mitigate that, in fact Vinesauce I think seems at least more aware of the parasocial thing and tried more strongly to vet the people he was with to not be those kind of people, but again people aren’t mind readers and nothing will ever be foolproof like that, and I guess some people even took him trying to vet that kind of behavior as hurtful in and of itself, (they took him venting about previous parasocial relationships he had and how paranoid and upsetting they were to him, and took it as some sort of threat against them personally, like they were trying to mindgame what exactly he was telling them, assuming he was saying something else that he wasn’t, which, is assumptions that live entirely in their own minds) but I’m just sitting here like, what else could they have done?

I get that people who had sexual relationships with these people could come away feeling really awful about it, feeling manipulated or duped in some way, but what else could have been done to prevent that from happening other than the people in question just, never interacting with anyone? Which is not a realistic solution, and doesn’t fix the problem of the victim in question moving on and getting starstruck by someone else and having it happen it all over again

If these people want to make friends, want to make relationships with anyone, want to have casual sex, want to have any sort of human connection, there unfortunately gonna have to sort the people they encounter into two different groups, people who have parasocial relationships with them and people who don’t, (and this is NOT people are fans of them and people who are not, you can be a fan and not get caught into the parasocial thing) and it is impossible to get this correct in every single individual social experience that theyre gonna have with every single individual human being, regardless if it’s a sexual relationship or not

in conclusion, I really do hope the people who were hurt by all this can truly heal and move on eventually from this, in no way am I trying to lessen their experiences, but I really don’t think other people deserved to be hung from the gallows over this, it’s no one person’s fault, neither the fan’s or the content creator’s, it’s just a messy interpersonal situation

I believe the correct thing to do is spread awareness about the warnings signs that you might be falling into a parasocial relationship, more effort needs to be put into what this looks like, what it feels like, how to avoid it, how to mitigate it, and how to regulate the very real feelings of love and affection someone might have for a person they see all the time in media but don’t have a real connection with, with the understanding of yeah, if you really can’t enter a casino without losing your life savings, a very real conversation needs to be had if you should even be entering these casino’s/watching their content at all

[caroldantops]

hi nonnie! i think that you bring up some fair questions but you’re missing a few important bits to this one specific scenario

1) motts and i are friends! we talk about stuff! she just assumed i might write those things so she didn’t wanna step on my toes and do the same thing - i’ve had these convos before with her and other writers bc i personally like to let them know like hey, I’m writing something that might be kind of similar to something of yours just a heads up! and usually they don’t care! but i like to anyway, gives me peace of mind and also in case people accuse me of taking someone’s idea, I’ll be like hey :) dw we chatted already

2) maybe motts doesn’t want to write those things and was just directing people who might want to still see those things to someone who is or has written them, like she said! it can literally be as simple as that. she didn’t even like, say anything about copying me, she just said she thought i was gonna write them

3) this is kind of a point just from my personal preferences when choosing fics to write: maybe I’m not worried about copying and just wanna write something different 🤷‍♀️ for instance i love and adore vampire and werewolf fics but they’re pretty common so i try to seek out other ideas, not bc I’m worried about copying those but just because i wanna do a new take on characters

(also i got a little bit ranty with this next bit and it is completely on me so don’t y’all come bitching to motts about what i say, come to my blog and bitch to me.)

and may i just say, from my perspective, you seem like, way more hung up on the fact that someone trying to offer a polite courtesy to their friend or just a fellow author might affect your requests getting filled rather than worrying about writers being scared to write something for fear of copying.

“why even ask if you’re gonna do this?”

because we like interacting with our readers? because we like getting ideas from y’all even though we might not use them? because we wanna know what our readers will enjoy reading? just because someone happens to decide to not do something doesn’t mean them like, gauging ideas is pointless because guess what, we’re writing it so we get the final say, and we wanna write something we’ll enjoy writing.

writers don’t have a legally binding obligation to write every single request they get. they can literally say no for any reason, whether it be “my friend is doing something similar rn!” or just flat out “i don’t want to write this”, we can say no to it and you just have to accept that because guess what? you’re not paying for a service.

this is the reason i say i take suggestions and not requests. the entitlement of some people is far too great and i’d rather not come to hate my hobby.

idk, maybe you didn’t intend it to come out that way so if you didn’t, that’s my bad for interpreting it this way, and i apologize for scolding you about it but that’s genuinely how I’m reading into this message.

it gives a very similar energy to a common tumblr writer pet peeve of like, the same person sending the exact same request to a bunch of blogs to like try to guarantee someone will write what they want, which i know for me and maaaany others, makes us just feel like machines for y’all’s entertainment rather than what fandom is supposed to be about which is collaboration! coming up with ideas together! making beautiful little worlds for all of us to be delusional in!!

https://www.tumblr.com/caroldantops/728219616857473024/succubus-or-ghostnatasha-ofc-some-smut-if

does it really matter for this if someone you know is doing the same thing? lots of ppl come up with these same concepts, and plus it’s a request/idea that y’all writers are asking for ideas from us readers… but don’t write it just bc someone you know is doing it? I’ve seen hundreds of fic’s with similar requests/plot ideas and each is a different writing style it doesn’t matter if you know someone who is going to write it, it’s two completely separate blogs and writers. And the request also mentioned smut, nothing about it being sad or anything. Like y’all aren’t copying one another.

Genuinely don’t get it? Why even ask for ideas to help with y’alls writing if you’re just gonna do this? /gq

This is… really deep thought for something that boils down to being as simple as I personally don’t want to write the same things my friend is for the same event? 😅

Just because writers ask for ideas doesn’t mean we have to take them, write them, etc. Me saying that Silver is doing it is just me politely saying no, but directing that person to where they can get the content they want.

Kinktober in itself is a smutty event so yes it’d be smutty, Silver saying her ghost nat fic was sad was because it was; she posted it last year and it was sad, but that didn’t affect me doing it or not doing it.

I don’t consider it copying, I just don’t want to do it right now. And if you look at my original post about kinktober this year, I specifically said I’m not taking requests, I just wanted to see what types of Nat fics my followers might want to see, not guaranteeing that I’m writing any Nat fic at all.

[alirhi]

How I'd have done TFATWS pt 1

Okay, I am such a whore for positive attention that, yes, it literally only takes one person expressing interest to get me to do something lol. So, for the lovely @goblin-tea, here is how The Falcon and the Winter Soldier would have gone for Bucky if I'd been a writer on the show!

Also, shoutout to @gunshou, who popped up showing support when I was in the middle of writing this lol 😘

Episode 1: New World Order

I actually love how most of this episode was handled; it's what drew me into the show in the first place, and gave me such hope for the rest of it. Most of the changes that I'd make here are pretty minor, tbh.

I'd specify the setting in some way for Bucky's nightmare. Obviously, since he was there and knows what happened, when, and where he was, it wouldn't be like the setting changes in movies where they slap a big, bold title card over the scene. Still, I'd probably open with a brief establishing shot showing the city skyline or something; some identifying feature so that viewers can work out where this happened without needing a direct statement from Marvel (note: if you need to directly address your audience to clarify something from within your story, you're a bad storyteller). What year did this take place? I show technology from the time; perhaps a dated cell phone in someone's hand. The point is to establish where and when The Winter Soldier killed RJ Nakajima, without detracting from the emotional impact of the scene. Why does it matter? Because we should know why. Why is Bucky dreaming about this particular incident? Was it his last mission before the events of CA:TWS (a theory I see frequently repeated but with no evidence to back it up)? Was it earlier on? Is RJ only on the forefront of Bucky's mind because of his (unhealthy, but we'll get to that) friendship with Yori? How long has Yori been suffering under the weight of his grief?

I would not have had him crash through the wall, btw. As cool as that shot looked, let's try to remember that The Winter Soldier was a ghost story for 70 years. Ghosts don't leave giant gaping holes in hotel walls. I'm not saying brazen wholesale destruction is out of character for him (obviously not. I've seen CA:TWS lmao. many times. this moment lives rent-free in my brain:

found on google without credit; pls lmk if it's yours so I can credit.

but you don't become a "ghost story" if you always leave that much evidence, ijs)

I'd leave the terrible therapy session alone. That scene was beautiful. Beautifully shot; I loved how claustrophobic it felt, and it really did a wonderful job of showing how Bucky felt on the spot, scrutinized, almost put on display for this bitch woman. This scene establishes Raynor as clearly wrong, and an unprofessional mess, and Bucky calls her out on it. I fucking love that!

lmao gods, I love his painfully awkward forced smile... Guys, this episode is fkn great. (betcha weren't expecting so much praise from me, were you? 😂)

"You're free." "To do what?"

👆👆👆 In my show? That would have more of an impact on Bucky's arc. That question would be one of the underlying issues moving his whole story along. Twice in this show, he's told that he's free, but no one addresses what he's free from, much less what he's free to do next.

It's a minor thing, but when Yori tells Bucky to ask Leah out? I'd have Bucky do more than just shake his head in silent horror. Not much more, just something that matters to me as someone who's worked in the service industry for many, many years and dealt with too many creepos: Bucky would flat-out say "she's at work! that's harassment, Yori!"

Yori can still stomp right past that boundary, and Leah can still smile and agree. I just really want someone to verbally acknowledge that you don't fucking ask someone out when they're at work. Ever. Bucky cringing and apologizing puts the power of the conversation back in Leah's hands; it gives her an out to politely decline if she's not interested, and just laugh off Yori's flirting on Bucky's behalf as a senile old man being silly, so I'm actually fine with how this scene turned out. I just would personally have gone that extra inch there for the idiots in the audience who don't get Bucky's subtle "wtf" reaction and why Yori's suggestion was so bad. If someone's livelihood depends on being nice to you, keep your goddamn distance. Flirting with them or asking them out when they're at that big of a disadvantage and have virtually no power to say "no" is harassment.

Here is where I'd make one more subtle change, too. When Yori sees the mochi and is reminded of his son, and tells Bucky about his death, I'd just slip in a time frame. "x years ago, my son was..." blah. (Guys, it really bothers me not knowing when that scene took place rofl can you tell?)

One complaint I've seen a lot online about this show is how it's a bit murky on just how well known Bucky is in-universe. He can walk around Brooklyn with more or less total anonymity, but he's also recognized as "an Avenger" (when he was never actually technically in the group)... but honestly? I think it's actually pretty realistic. Just because someone's famous doesn't mean every single person on the planet knows who they are and what they look like well enough to instantly recognize them on the street. People look different in photos than in person, and pre-Blip, Bucky had the complete Jesus look - long flowing hair and a full beard. In TFATWS he's a little scruffy, but not this:

Sebastian looks like about 10 different men from one moment to the next just irl with a change in haircut, lighting, expression, whether or not he got enough sleep the night before... 😂 I don't really find it hard to believe that people not expecting to bump into an Avenger would have trouble seeing Bucky post-haircut as anything other than just another attractive white guy.

Anyway! Sorry for the segue lol. On to the date!

Earlier in this very same goddamn episode, it is established that Bucky can remotely operate a car with a tablet. This is not a technologically-inept geezer. This is a 30-something nerd who loves new technology, who, yes, is facing a brave new world and a whole lot of new technology, but has never shown any issue picking it up. The crappy flip phone he handed Raynor earlier? a burner to keep her out of what little personal life he does have (we never see it again in the real show, anyway). The "tiger photos" line? Stays, not to show Bucky's floundering ineptitude with technology, but as a little nod to his bisexuality. (don't like it? don't wanna see Bucky as bi? go watch the show and read Skogland's borderline-offensive interviews. This isn't "how I would pander to a homophobic audience" it's "how I would have written it." the "Bucky is bi" interpretation is super fucking common and has been since TFA so bite me 😁)

Tiny nitpick, but I'd also have the Battleship boards actually set up properly lmao. What even was that? Anyway...

I don't think I'd have Leah get all ranty about Yori and RJ. That's not first date talk, for one thing. For another, let's ease up on the beating Bucky and the audience over the head with that one incident in a single episode, shall we? Instead, I'd have her stick with the date questions - she asked his age, asked about his family; I'd have her follow it with questions about what he does for a living (giving us a chance to not only actually have that question answered for us - how the hell does Bucky keep himself from being homeless? lol - but also set up...)

He shuts down a little when she starts asking about his past; she's innocently curious, just trying to get to know him, but he's flinchy and deflects with questions about her. The date is awkward, but doesn't abruptly end with him running away lol. He walks Leah home, like the old-fashioned gentleman he is, goes home, himself, and end on him grimacing in his sleep, in the clutches of another nightmare: not as much detail as the RJ murder scene, we see disjointed, disorienting images of fluorescent lights glinting off of machinery, the occasional shot of Bucky writhing in the chair, a shot of that damned notebook (to remind the dumber audience members why Raynor's passive-aggressive notebook thing was so triggering for him), and we hear echoes of a couple of the trigger words, and Bucky's screams.

[ltleflrt]

Apparently I have more to say on the topic of T&S, 91w, and 15x20.  I apologize, this is very critical of both T&S, and 15x20.  I try not to get ranty about how much I hate them, but sometimes I have to get shit off my chest, ya know?  That being said, please don’t share this with the T&S authors.  They created something that for years has been a staple of the Destiel fandom, and they have reason to be proud of it, even if not everyone loves it.  Heck, even I got swept up in the emotions when I read it, so like... kudos.  For realsies. 

Supernatural was intended to have a tragic ending.  Kripke himself told Jensen that 15x20 wasn’t so bad because what he would have done would have been more horrifying.  I don’t know how true they are, but I’ve heard things about the s5 finale intended to end with Sam in the cage and Dean living with Lisa, or Sam and Dean both in the cage having taken control back from the archangels and jumping into the pit together.  Either would have been a tragedy, but you could see where it made sense to go there.  I probably would have liked that ending for the show if it had ended on s5. 

And then Gamble came along, and doubled down on the tragedy in s6 and s7, killing off Cas, killing off Bobby, leaving Dean more hollow and lifeless than ever.  Carver followed this up with Dean being willing to sacrifice himself to close the gates of hell because he couldn’t see himself living. 

This is the environment T&S was born from.  Tragedy left and right, and no real hope for a happy ending after the victory, although supposedly either Sam or Dean would walk away and live the good life in memory of their lost brother.  And that’s... fine.

But then something magical happened in s8.  When Dean said he was willing to die to save the world because he didn’t think he could actually live... Sam said No.  Cas came back again.  And from there the show grew, and so Dean, so did Sam, so did Cas.  They were no longer aiming for a tragic ending.

They gave us one anyway, which is why so many people feel like 1) it came out of left field, and 2) it would have made more sense tacked onto the end of one of the first 5 seasons.

T&S would have always felt a little OOC, but at least it would have matched the tone of the early seasons.  And people who hate 15x20 now, who still unironically love T&S?  I wonder how long it’s been since you’ve read it.  Do you think you’d still feel the same, after the empty bastardization that 15x20 gave us? 

On the other hand, 91w has all the tragedy, all the pain, all the horror of the entire show, but hope grows from the ashes of the earlier chapters, and in the end you get what feels like the right ending.  It’s still going to be rough for everyone, including Sam even though he’s a very miniscule part of the fic, but after the war, after the battles external and internal, there is a victory.  It’s hard won.  Loved ones are lost.  There are horrific scars inside and out.  But Dean and Cas are together.  Team Free Will is together.  There’s Hope.  There’s a Future.  You’re going to feel like you were road-hauled through Hell AND Purgatory AND The Empty to get there.... but you get there.

If you hated 15x20, do not read T&S.  If you hated 15x20 but you loved the direction the final seasons took and would like to read a Destiel fic that, while AU, does the whole 15 season run justice AND gives you the hopeful ending that we deserved for the finale, then read 91w.