#i get weirdly emotional about the phrase “says i”

[saurons-pr-department]

“Hector!” says Brad Pitt.

“Very Fingolfin,” says I.

[imbecominggayer]

How To Write Cuddling

This my third part to my series where I get specific requests from people about what advice they want. Here we have @12-cluh to explain what about cuddling is getting them confused:

"Idk how to really describe what I'm going after. I'd say I'm more confused on how to describe the way the bodies are laying together? That sounds weird but you get it-"

Perfect, so our key problem is how to establish a character's positioning in the cuddling!

First: How Are These People Cuddling?

Here is some great writing advice for all manners of situations: try to physically establish where the characters are

Heck, you could draw a nice stickman cuddling session in order to get everything down.

This is mostly to prevent a type of "I gently wrapped my arms around her in an unending hug as I let my free hand grasp onto her colder fingers." situation. If you didn't notice, human character grew a third hand and certainly didn't tell me.

And obviously, reread your material out loud so your pesky brain wont perform it's own autocorrect

Next, there are tons of different cuddling positions that evoke different types of atmospheres from the sultry to the affectionate to the hilarious.

Based on what I googled, there are many different names and Shingles is the weirdest thing to name a cuddling style.

Since this cuddling is taking place between "a couple who finally get a day off. (featuring her tracing his scars! :3" I'm guess that @12-cluh is probably going for affectionate.

I probably would recommend "Sweetheart's Cradle" or "The Honeymoon Hug" if you are going for an ultra-affectionate cuddle.

If you are looking for something more casual yet still affectionate then "The Spoon" and, uhh, "Shingles" . The "Sweetheart's Cradle" could still work here but that's up to your interpretation of what Romance On The Go is talking about.

2. Actual Description

Quote: "...how to describe the way the bodies are laying together?

Obviously, it's hard for me to give specific details on how to describe the scene since it's feelings which change the world and influence how it arrives to the audience.

If this is a somber affair, based on the scar tracing, then that's obviously going to influence the atmosphere. If it's a highly affectionate get-together then that's the diction.

However, in general, you don't need proper "he laid down on her" type of weirdly phrased descriptions.

You just need to get the emotion across.

For example, "He lowers them onto the bed once again, the back of his hand brushing against her cheek. She latches onto him and refuses to let go for the rest of the night. She refuses to let go for forever, actually. She prayes that she wasn't alone. That this isn't just another dream or mistake. When the sunlight glimmers through the curtain, she will thank the gods for this blessed union."

I hoped I communicated the deep love and desperation between these characters :3 God, I am such a bad writer.

Anyway, as you can see there wasn't a lot of detail focused on where my female character was latching onto. All the detail you need is for the movements that display emotion such as the caressing

Here is a more comedic example for more proof: "What nobody told him about cuddling is how f*cking uncomfortable it was. What should've been a delicate and affectionate affair was instead a mess of limbs and sweat as his boyfriend's ability to light up his life was far more literal then he wanted. But even if his hand may never function again as this brick shithouse of a man has lovingly passed out on it, the feeling of just being together in this shitty cot makes his soul tremble in the sweetest, strangest way. "

I regret writing examples of this. I am going to get destroyed in the comments for my shitty writing ability :`(

Anyway, there is little set-up for what limbs are where and what everyone is specifically doing.

There are other things you can do to show the audience where your characters are. "Our breath mixed together". Or "I could hear his heartbeat".

And now I need to ask you "doth that satisfy thou my liege?" I tried to do this advice right since it's you and for some reason I care about you more then I should, darling.

So please give me my validation and feel free to ask me for more writing advice. I am forever at your beck and call.

[pharawee]

It's been a week already, so here I am with the third part of my Pit Babe novel commentary.

(You can find the first two parts here and here.)

First things first, though. North is an omega. Do with that information what you will. 🤡

Meanwhile, Charlie and Babe are back at it again (because of course they are) and this time they're not taking any prisoners. Poor Way is on the phone with Babe as Charlie does his best to please~ him. In various ways. Way is very confused. All he wants is for Babe to tell him which car he wants him to buy. You know, if this is Way's villain origin story then I'm not even mad.

Charlie mercifully ends the call before things can get a bit too obvious, only for Babe to pick up the phone again to make an x-rated recording of them going at it like bunnies. Keep this in mind for later.

But anyway. It's finally time for Charlie's initiation into Team X-Hunter - that is, if he manages to pass Alan's test: compete against Pit Babe himself. As if Charlie wasn't nervous enough about it already. Naturally, he loses, and he's really upset about it too - not because he failed the test but because he failed his friends. Aw. But no one really expected him to win against Babe anyway, Alan merely wanted to test his determination, and so he's welcomed as the newest member of the team. Competitive racing really is that easy, I guess.

One almost-love confession later (Babe can't quite bring himself to say it but he doesn't need to. Charlie knows.) they're back to actually teaching Charlie how to race. Since Babe is still healing from his injuries, he can only (very stylishly) watch from the sidelines as the other members of X-Hunter take over as Charlie's teachers. Today it's North's turn and remember? He's the only omega on the team. Naturally, Babe is jealous. They (dirty-)talk it out. Charlie can now smell Babe's emotions, while Babe has all but lost his heightened senses. Hm.

Later, in the locker room while Charlie is busy racing, Babe comes across Way. Or is it the other way around? It seems like Way really wants to talk to him - or rather, talk him out of being with Charlie. Something's really fishy about the way he phrases things. Manipulate, mansplain, malewife. Or something. But the thing is? For some strange reason it's working, even on someone as headstrong and stubborn as Babe (and the only reason why Babe isn't immediately giving in to Way's weirdly cruel love confession is because his heart is full of Charlie). All these moments when Way and he seemed so flirty and close? Suddenly they've become very, very creepy. Hmm.

Anyway. It's time for Charlie to pay another visit to his mysterious clients and/or family. He never really says (but we now know better). But, oh no! He's left his wallet! Luckily, he's got the world's best not-quite-boyfriend to try and catch up with him before it's too late.

And here's where things go very, very wrong.

(I'm putting the rest of this post under a cut because of major spoilers and a content warning for SA and grooming. Please take care.💜)

Because that's not a taxi Babe sees Charlie getting into. It's one of his "father's" limousines, along with some of his men. Preparing for the worst, Babe follows.

Meanwhile, Charlie is meeting up with his adopted father. Their coversation goes about as expected, with Charlie refusing to return home and bring Babe with him while he's at it, because they've indeed been adopted by the same man. Charming.

This is the moment when Babe barges into the room, thinking that he's here to save Charlie before very quickly realising the truth: that he's been manipulated and played and lied to.

I need you to realise how much of a nightmare this is for Babe. He's spent over a decade running from an adoptive father who wants to trap and abuse him, and now the only person he trusts (and loves, but we don't talk about that) has led him straight back into that trap.

So basically, Babe's sanity is slowly unravelling at the seams. He immediately takes off, with Charlie following him outside and into the rain (because of course it's raining - it's much more dramatic that way). When Charlie attempts to stop him and explain, Babe (understandably) lashes out. He punches Charlie's glasses right off his face, failing to understand why he's the one who's hurting when it's Charlie who should be feeling guilty.

Oh, and then there's this bit:

"I thought you liked racing…" Babe's voice was trembling and soft, completely different from before, "…I thought you loved me."

I barely survived reading this. I'm here for fun omegaverse shenanigans dammit!!

So, yeah, Babe returns home alone, and even though he doesn't want to, he forces himself to remember what happened with his adoptive father, because as it turns out Charlie's betrayal has the most horrifying of implications:

You see, Babe was adopted because he was an alpha with special abilities. But he wasn't the only one, there were other adopted alpha children with special abilities that Babe was never allowed to meet. Eventually, Babe learned about the existence of enigmas who stand above even alphas and are so strong (and thankfully rare) that they can turn any alpha they have sex with into omegas and impregnate them. Children from these unions have a 99% chance to be alphas with special abilities. See where this is going?

Let me spell it out for you - because clearly this isn't wtf-inducing enough: Babe is essentially the main ingredient in his adoptive father's breeding program.

But wait! It gets even worse! 🤡🤡

Babe, alone and at his lowest, deduces that Charlie must the enigma that was sent to lure him back.

And if that's true, then maybe he's already been changed from an alpha into an omega (because his heightened senses are gone, remember?). Maybe he's already pregnant.

And this is what sends Babe completely over the edge (same here, Babe, same here...) because he is positively traumatised by the thought of having children and fulfilling his adoptive father's sick wishes. He doesn't want children. The very thought makes him sick. He values his autonomy above all else. He never even has sex with omegas because he refuses to get anyone pregnant.

Only now he's about to get a pregnancy test because he was stupid enough to fall for a cute, innocent boy with glasses.

Enter Charlie who of course still knows the code to Babe's condo. Babe barricades himself in his bedroom while Charlie tells him his side of the story. How he was adopted by the same man, and how he was quite content with his life until he learned about his father's plan to get one of his other adoptive children pregnant - by force if necessary. Charlie felt sorry for this older adoptive brother but since he only knew his name - Babe - he bid his time until he heard about a racer named Pit Babe. Charlie started hanging out at the races and in turn fell in love with racing (and with Babe).

Fast forward to now, only of course Babe doesn't believe him because he must be the enigma, right?

Nope, turns out Charlie is an alpha after all, only his special ability is stealing other alphas' special abilities.

And his grand plan? To take away what makes Babe special so their adoptive father will no longer be interested in breeding (ugh...) him.

Which leaves us (and Babe) with one problem: Wtf Charlie, you don't just steal people's abilities without their consent - especially not when you claim to love them.

So yeah, their whole relationship is based on lies and manipulation, and Charlie essentially stole Babe's heightened senses by having sex with him.

Babe starts crying, Charlie starts crying, then they start having hatesex (which usually ends all their arguments). This fixes things for about five minutes until Babe starts sobbing for real. He wants Charlie to leave. He can't even stand to look at him.

And so Charlie leaves and moves in with his other adoptive brother, Jeff. We'd already established that Jeff is an omega. However, he's a special omega (because why else would he have been adopted too?).

Jeff can see the future. 🤡🤡🤡

He was incredibly valuable to their adoptive father until he probably realised what that meant for him, so one day Jeff took a stroll outside and let himself get hit by a car, claiming that this had him lose his abilities. Naturally, he was promptly discarded, but he seems to live a comfortable life protected by Charlie. He's exactly as aloof as Pon plays him in the series. I love Jeff, ok?

Meanwhile, Babe's back to his old habits, trying to chase away his thoughts of Charlie by getting it on with other alphas. Only it doesn't work. He blames their scent, of course, but he's clearly still hung up on Charlie. Drunk and miserable, he rediscovers the spicy video of Charlie and him that he recorded on his phone and promptly starts masturbating (as you do). When Charlie calls him, he picks up out of habit. Babe is angry (and horny) and Charlie is sad (and horny) so they have phone sex (and they're still really into calling each other papa and daddy - which, you know, there might be better pet names considering who's their adoptive father but ok).

Babe still doesn't want to see Charlie, and as Charlie later aptly puts it:

"Because I chose the starting point myself without asking him. So now I have to let him choose the ending he is most comfortable with."

Much, much later, the racing season picks back up again. Turns out the whole race track had to shut down for an investigation into Babe's accident. It's Charlie's first race and there's some kind of qualifying for future rounds. But, surprise! Babe will be racing too. He's too stubborn to let Charlie win the title. To the surprise of absolutely no one (except for Charlie who's worried about Babe's barely-healed injuries) Babe easily wins, with Charlie (who's overwhelmed by his new heightened senses) coming in fourth place. Plot twist (but really actually not...): Babe doesn't need to rely on his senses to win because he has years of experience to draw from.

After the race, Charlie follows Babe into the locker room. They talk it out. This somehow involves a blowjob but I'm not judging. Babe still won't forgive Charlie, saying:

"You think I love you more than I love myself?"

Which is an incredibly powerful thing to say and I hope they keep this for the series.

Later that night, Babe meets up with Way because he doesn't want to be alone. Things with him have been awkward since that day in the locker room when Way basically confessed, but for some reason Babe won't hold it against him. Way is right, after all (Hmmm.). Only, Way won't let things be and somehow, without Babe noticing, they're suddenly kissing.

And then Babe goes motionless and still as Way starts undressing him. He's stopped just in time by a very panicky Charlie. When Babe comes to he doesn't know what's going on until Charlie tells him.

Way is their adoptive brother and he can hypnotise alphas.

Because DUN DUN DUN! Way is the enigma.

To be continued. 🤡🤡🤡🤡

[moonstruckme]

In a Week - send a character + au and I'll write a blurb for it (like vampire!Eddie, bodyguard!Sirius, etc.)

college au tasm!peter who's a photographer for the college newspaper and reader is a writer?

Thanks for requesting gorgeous!

join the party

photographer!(tasm)Peter Parker x reporter!reader ♡ 761 words

“Peter, these are gorgeous,” you breathe, leafing through the pictures he’s brought you of the protest near campus. “I mean, it’s heartbreaking, and they show that, but they’re so…just, great job.” 

Peter grins, leaning against your desk with a smile that’s half-sheepish, but you can tell he’s proud of his work. He should be. “Thanks,” he says. “Did you already write the article? This is supposed to go out tomorrow, right?” 

You bite your lip. “I did,” you admit, “but now I’m thinking I’ve got some editing to do. There’s so much emotion in these, I feel like you’ve definitely upped the bar for my writing.” You say it as if it’s a joke, but really you mean it, and Peter frowns like he can tell. 

“Your writing’s amazing, and you always kill these kinds of community-minded, emotional stories.” He nudges your chair with his knee, reprimanding. “Don’t sell yourself short. Can I read what you have?”

You hesitate. Letting someone else read your work before it’s finished always feels weirdly vulnerable, even when you’re mostly reporting on facts. You haven’t picked the exact right words yet, phrased your ideas the way that’ll convey them to readers exactly like you want, but Peter’s eyes are soft and warm in the light from your desk lamp, and he always gets what he wants out of you in the end. 

You turn your laptop toward him, letting him scroll freely. 

Peter stoops over your desk, and he nods as he reads, eyes moving quickly over the typed lines. You’re doing your best not to look like you’re watching him, but you grow uneasy when a crease appears between his eyebrows. At first it’s shallow, then not so much. 

“Wow,” Peter breathes as he finishes, looking up at you like you’ve broken his heart. Whatever you’ve done, you’re immediately sorry for it. “That was…shit, you don’t have to worry about missing the mark on emotion. The passion in that, it was incredible, sweetheart.” 

Your heart jumps from your stomach right up to your throat. Sweetheart. 

“You really think so?” you ask, then realize it sounds like you’re fishing for compliments. “I mean, you didn’t think the ending was too abrupt?” 

Peter shakes his head as he straightens, still looking somewhat awed. “No, I don’t think you should change anything. You really made me feel it, you know? It was so powerful.” 

You hope the dim light is hiding the flush you can feel coming to your cheeks. “It’s a powerful topic,” you say, taking back your laptop and skimming over the draft. “You can feel how much the protestors care, from both the interviews and the pictures.” Your finger hesitates above the trackpad. “You don’t think it felt too long, though?” 

Peter makes a scoffing sound, and you look up to find him grinning at you incredulously. “Stop,” he says, shutting your laptop for you carefully. “You know what I think? I think it’s too late to still be here. Your draft is already perfect, you should go home.” 

You frown, glancing out the window. It had gotten dark without you even really noticing. “Yeah, I guess I will,” you concede. “You should, too.” 

“I am,” he says, but doesn’t move. Neither do you, sensing that he has something more he wants to say. Peter fiddles with his backpack strap. “Hey, have you had dinner yet?”

You shake your head. “I’ve been here since just after lunch.” 

“That’s too long,” he laughs. “Would you let me take you for something to eat?”

You all but freeze, looking up at him. He’s as lovely as he always is, hair fluffy from constantly dragging his hand through it and features softened in the lamplight. Your mouth is dry, and still you swallow. “Like…like as friends, or…?” 

Peter’s smile is actually shy. “I was thinking as a date, but only if you want it to be. I don’t want to make things weird, if—”

“No,” you say quickly. “No, a date is good. I’d…I’d like that.” 

Peter grins so hugely that even his eyes get in on the action, creasing at the corners. “Yeah? Nice.” Then you grab your laptop, and those eyes narrow suspiciously. “You’re not going to keep working on that, are you?”

“At dinner? No,” you reassure him, stuffing the computer into your bag. “But after I get home, yeah. I still have some edits I want to make.” 

He exhales, and it’s half exasperation, half amusement. “You’re relentless,” he says, opening the door for you. 

“Like I said, you set a high bar.”

[rebukerobot]

not to be an annoying codger on main but i am increasingly often embittered by the reminder that a common belief in adjacent circles is that becoming queer/poly/kinky is a fast-track to getting rid of your emotional issues around relationships and people. i recently saw a post on mastodon asserting as axiom that polyamory inherently makes one "less jealous". if you're a jealous person and become poly, you have only become a jealous poly person. and those people very much exist, and they very much do inflict that jealousy on more people when they're poly. if you want to become less jealous, the only way to do so is to do less jealousy, not to do more some other thing.

i think there was a bit of a sea change in internet relationships around 2011-2013 with the vitrification of the parasocial Friend-Group Economy and the financialization of economies of attention, where "e-dating" went from more of a traditional LDR structure, to something more akin to playing house. an internet relationship demands a certain role from you, now. domme, sub, protector, quirky girl, you're reductible to an archetype. mutual chemistry in this framework is less about matching personalities and more about matching attention patterns; little wonder that stemming from there, BPD-posting and BPD-fetishization got really big (and has since made any number of new masks from empty spaces to HDG ERP).

and this structure is, like, self-infiltrating. you act in this framework to get the attention you need (in an alienated world, a partner is the only way to guarantee "unconditional" attention, or so they say), and then you convince yourself that the conditions that put you in that archetype have made you that sort of archetypical person. "i'm not jealous! i'm poly!" phrases said ten minutes before having a apeshit meltdown because your new metamour gives you a weird vibe due to not matching your freak, but your partner seems weirdly happier than usual. right, you're poly. poly people don't feel jealous. so you don't feel jealous. you feel a special new thing that doesn't exist (but it's jealousy).

you know, the answer is just emotional honesty. but that's expensive. it's very expensive to be honest. bad investment. you might lose the person who cares about you. what then? might as well kill yourself. dumb thought loop, dumb way to look at relationships, dumb consequence for the overall stability of everyones' lives.

growing the hell up has given me a headache about how everyone i knew used to treat each other. never be in your early 20s. therein lies a mire of delusion

[fullmetal-angelgrace]

oooo i love me some unreliable narrator shit!!!!! mr. martin is the one who's been giving all the new ghosts the welcome speech, so everything they told maddie about them not being able to possess people or interact with the living is all bullshit

i thought it was really weird how mr. martin kept saying that specific phrase about ghosts not being able to interact with the land of the living, the way he worded it was strange and he always got weirdly angry about it, so I'm thinking he made everyone think that they can't do anything so no one would try to leave him

from what I've gathered from the short snippets wally and charley read in mr. martin's journals, it seems like he doesn't want any of the students to "cross over" i think he has been studying them so thoroughly to find out exactly what they need to cross over - so he can avoid it all costs

he doesn't want anyone dwelling on their living life and just wants to run his little fake school where he has all the power, he's no better than the other ghosts that think they're still alive, he's doing the same thing as the marching band kids and the theater girl, clinging to something he loved from life and doing that over and over and over again - he's acting as a teacher and running school events

so even though he constantly talks about trying to get everyone to cross over, really he's just making them a part of his teaching fantasy while he distracts them from their lives so they never resolve their unfinished business and stay with him in his fantasy. he started getting angry only when he lost control of the group and the ghosts started listening and hanging out with maddie more than him, he suddenly didn't have the same power over them that he used to

i definitely think there's something else to his motivations, i doubt it's just him wanting to play teacher for eternity, we have no idea why he started the fire and what his whole deal with janet is, why did they both lie for so long? was janet just too intimidated by an authority figure to tell the truth? how much can the ghosts actually interact with the living world? is there something special about the bunker because im pretty sure maddie saw mr. martin and janet when she was alive?? and mr. martin didnt seem surprised at all when he saw maddie there and immediately knew janet was going to possess her?? and what was mr. martin's big emotional speech about wanting to protect them??? from what???? so many questions!!! i love this show!!

[that-ari-blogger]

A Weird Finale (For Good)

Catharsis is a weirdly complex emotion. Weird in the sense of how it operates. Catharsis isn’t an emotion, that’s kind of the whole point, but it acts like one. Catharsis makes you feel better, it makes you laugh or cry or maybe both, and there are very few literary tools as powerful as the ability to make your audience emote.

Catharsis is the releasing of strong emotions. If I tell a joke, the catharsis is the punch line. If I tell a sad story about a friend getting badly injured, the catharsis is the conclusion where I tell you that they are ok.

Case and point, For Good is the final song of Wicked. Kind of. It isn’t really, the story continues afterwards, and a song called Finale follows that. But For Good feels like the conclusion a story. It certainly reflects on the events of the musical as a whole, and makes a conclusion going forward.

It is also one of the two songs in all of musical theatre that I cannot make it through without crying, and this post is my defence of that inability.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked, Hazbin Hotel, Andor)

“I'm limited Just look at me I'm limited And just look at you You can do all I couldn't do Glinda So now it's up to you For both of us Now it's up to you”

Elphaba has failed in her journey. She wanted total freedom, and she couldn’t achieve it. She wanted the ability to make a change in the world, but she was just one person. She failed.

The reuse of the Unlimited Lite Motif shows the other side of the coin that is Glinda and Elphaba’s relationship. It brought them both what they wanted. Together, they were unlimited, but alone… there’s this.

The limit actually corresponds to more than just physical freedom. They both wanted to be free, to be unshackled by their own capabilities. They wanted unlimited power, and Elphaba couldn’t achieve that, but she believes Glinda could. Although Glinda would disagree.

“I've heard it said That people come into our lives For a reason Bringing something we must learn And we are led to those Who help us most to grow if we let them And we help them in return Well, I don't know if I believe that's true But I know I'm who I am today Because I knew you”

I had a whole thing planned to write about fate here, but I don’t think it’s the point. Because if you focus too much on what might be, you miss what actually is.

Wicked is a story about dreams and reality colliding, and the answer to which will come out on top, is “neither”. Elphaba chased her dreams to the end and found them unobtainable. Glinda, meanwhile, saw her friend achieve great things in real time.

Don’t stop chasing a better tomorrow. That isn’t what I’m saying here. But don’t think that the change will be sudden and one day you will reach that eutopia. Change is slow, and it happens as you go. Elphaba, for example, has been saving people, and inspiring people. Oz hasn’t been saved, but she’s made progress.

The first chorus, as is usual for a song in this musical, is understated, and building to something bigger. It's laying the groundwork for later events.

The fact that Glinda’s phrases are offset is a continuation of something that began in I’m Not That Girl (Reprise), her casualness.

When Galinda was introduced, she spoke with a practiced poise, that was evenly metred so that it was impossible to notice when a song started for her. She had, in a very real sense, always been singing and never actually spoken.

This is the opposite of that, Glinda’s words feel more real, because the timing creates a casual vibe that I take to be more genuine.

Wicked has been playing around with time signatures since the beginning, usually to represent indecision or an inconsistency reminiscent of how fae realms are represented in mythology and literature. It feels whimsical.

Here the awkward bar is used to emphasise Glinda’s words. “I have been changed.”

I have found myself recommending covers of these songs, so to continue that streak, Voiceplay's Wicked medley is phenomenal, and the For Good section is especially memorable.

Glinda doesn’t know or even care about fate or what was meant to be. She is astonishingly real and pragmatic, and she can see Elphaba’s success in a way that her friend can’t.

Elphaba has become the Wizard, in a sense. She has inspired people to take their lives into their own hands. She has promised people a better world, but instead of the Wizard’s false hope, Elphaba delivered, and showed people that if they try, they can improve the lives of generations to come.

Glinda can see that Elphaba changed at least one person and made them want better, and she can carry on that legacy.

In other words:

“You've already done so much So many lives you've changed So many souls you've touched And in the end, if it's only me you've saved There's something that I've been dying to say”

Hazbin Hotel is satirical musical that deals with seeking freedom. It’s most definitely not Wicked, it’s theming is different and when I do a series on it, I will talk about that at length. But it does have a song that links to For Good.

There’s a difference between having done enough, and being done. If you only save one person, you are a hero. If you make life better for one person, and inspire them to pay that favour forwards, you have made your mark. You have your legacy.

But Elphaba has done far more than just save one person. Again, if she has inspired Glinda, she must have inspired someone else as well. And when Glinda drives away the Wizard, and presumably does more to help the citizens of Oz who are oppressed, that’s because of Elphaba.

This song in Hazbin Hotel is also a love song. I wonder if that is relevant.

“I burn my decency for someone else’s future. I burn my life to make a sunrise that I’ll never see.”

Andor is a surprisingly well-made series. As in, the Star-Wars fandom has been starved for a while for stories that say anything. So, when Andor began exploring some complex philosophy, people missed that the show was also just genuinely good craft.

But it is the messaging that I want to talk about here, briefly. Andor discusses the cost of rebellion, and in one of the several incredible monologues of the series, Luthen Rael explains that, among other things, he is making a better world for future generations. One that he will probably never receive. Like Moses delivering people to a promised land that he, himself, would never reach.

Legacy is important to both Luthen and Elphaba. Their futures are marked by conflict, but they exist so that later generations will live without that.

I would also recommend this cover by Jacob Daniel Cummings and Peter Gibbons. They are both talented vocalists, but the simplicity of the music video and set design are really cool, and the fading from monochrome to colour is a nice touch.

This song precedes Elphaba’s “death”, and it centres around Glinda telling her and the audience that it was all worth it. That’s the catharsis, whatever happens next, Elphaba has succeeded.

“You'll be with me Like a handprint on my heart And now whatever way our stories end I know you have rewritten mine By being my friend”

The romance of this musical has been implied. Evidence through subtext, rather than what is actually being shown. It got pretty strong, but an entirely aromantic reading of their relationship was possible, if you squinted.

However, I would argue that this isn’t subtext. I would suggest that “you’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart” is innately romantic in nature.

“Like a comet pulled from orbit As it passes the sun Like a stream that meets a boulder Halfway through the wood”

At this point, the song spits out a ton of metaphors, and I’m not going to go over each one. So as a whole, these stand in for that catharsis. This is Elphaba and Glinda finally letting out their emotions and stopping limiting themselves.

Defying Gravity reflected the first half of Wicked by displaying Elphaba’s freedom from external forces. But the second half featured the battle with herself and her own abilities and emotions. So, letting go of all of that and saying “I love you” in every way imaginable except the obvious certainly counts as releasing emotions.

This is the other part of the catharsis that I talked about. Half of the drama of this musical has been the development of the relationship; however you see that, between Glinda and Elphaba. That relationship fell apart, hence the tragic nature of this musical, but it did so quickly and without much closure.

So now, the two can look back on it and say, with definite confidence, that it was, in fact, a relationship.

Again, I will claim that this is romantic because friendship isn’t that powerful, usually. Friendship can change people, but romance can change a person’s story, and their life. A friendship doesn’t leave “a handprint on my heart”, for example.

I am actually having trouble articulating why this is romantic. It just is, look at it. You have to prove that it isn’t at this point.

The acting here sells the romance as well. The blinking back of tears, the faltering in each word. Emotions are running high through this song.

That is why I love this song. That is why this is my favourite song in all of musical theatre. That is why this song makes me cry.

This song is the resolution of a complex, and heavy story. It looks at the future to talk about legacy, but it also looks at the past to say “see what Elphaba has achieved”.

The song itself isn’t even the thing that makes me cry here. The emotional element of this is the story that got you here. Wicked is emotional, but it makes you hold all of that in, until For Good releases that.

Essentially, I like For Good because I like Wicked, and when I listen to the song, I listen to an entire story.

Final Thoughts

This was really difficult to analyse because the song isn’t complicated on its own right. Like I said, it’s the fact that it is the conclusion to Wicked that gives it the emotional gravitas.

But I do want to clarify something. This post should have gone out on Wednesday, but it will probably go live on Sunday instead, and there is a reason for this.

Partly, I am disorganised as hell. But partly, I have been struggling to explain why this song is queer or even romantic in nature. It is, and I will defend my opinion on that, but my excuse for it being that is… look at it, it’s so obviously romantic.

I think my answer is linked to my conclusion about this song as a whole. This is a romantic song because the entire musical has been about the romance between Elphaba and Glinda, so it carries over that weight. This song is queer because that relationship was queer. All this song does is amplify what you take into it, and that’s a weirdly empty description for something so powerful.

But I guess, in a way, that’s how stories operate as a whole. You only get out of them what you are willing to put in. If you engage with a character, and you pour your heart into that character, you will probably be rewarded tenfold. But that takes a mixture of good craft, the right story (because no story is for everyone), and a great deal of vulnerability on the part of you. Emotions can hurt, and to engage with a story, you have to be willing to let yourself feel that. But the risk is well worth the reward, at least with Wicked.

This mostly wraps up my coverage of Wicked. I will be compiling a complete summary of my ideas for the musical at some point. But before that, I will be starting my coverage of another musical, one with slightly different themes.

So stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[pokemonxhyperfixation]

Touhou Headcanon 10:

So as said in a previous post, this is going to be one headcanon for each of the characters I voted for in the popularity poll, counting up from my number 1 pick.

Kogasa Tatara: We love umbrella women! Anyways, so the actual headcanon. So, Kogasa is a deeply emotional person who has a MAJOR fear of being abandoned. But, she's also a chronic people pleaser, because she's under the impression that if she doesn't please everyone in her life, she'll just be abandoned, which is her greatest fear.

Sekibanki: So to get one thing across, in my head Banki and Kogasa are dating and live together. Also, Banki does KINDA have a neck. Like, if you pass your hand through where a neck might connect to a floating head that's currently properly still her "main one", you'll feel a ghostly chill. Anyway, so the Headcanon is basically that Banki sometimes wraps her pseudo neck thing around Kogasa to help comfort her. It's a special bonding thing.

Satori Komeji: Satori is somewhere in the Asexual bubble. I know I might be phrasing this is a less than proper way, but you know what I mean (I hope). Satori is one of the flavors of Asexual, specifically one of the more sexually repulsed ones. Related, she can hear thoughts through walls to a limited degree (because I treat her mind reading as a hearing type thing because that's just how shit like that works in my head), and Okuu and Orin REALLY want to make a kid. Work isn't the only reason Satori struggles to sleep most nights...

Hong Meiling: Kinda a hard one to do since I've already posted the MAIN ONES (Meiling and Sakuya are happily maried and Orange from PC 98 is Meiling's daughter), but I'll give another. I subscribe to a weird offshoot version of the Meiling is a dragon idea people seem to like. In my head, Meiling was (and to some extent, still kinda is) a dragon, but at one point, she just kinda... stopped being a dragon. This idea came from a DEFINATELY INTENDED AND NOT AT ALL STRETCHING idea I'd heared some Poketuber say back in the day (2014-2016 I believe) as to why Gyarados wasn't a dragon type, being that some myth stated that if a Dragon is too ferocious or something that it would cease being a dragon and become a sea scerpent. I only really take the idea that Dragons can stop being dragons, and say that Meiling is a former dragon. =)

Koishi Komeji: Koishi has a weirdly high amount of friends. And they are not people you would expect. Like yeah, she's buddy buddy with Flan in my head, and yeah she's also chummy (putting it lightly) with Kokoro, but she has a LOT more friends than that. The two most funny are Wakasagihime and Kogasa. Koishi and Waka became fishing friends, and Kogasa became friends with Koishi through a mixture of their general extrovertedness and Koishi repeatedly breaking into Kogasa's house for literally no reason. (She doesn't believe in using doors.)

Yuuma Totetsu: So, when I read Touhou works, I obviously read them with certain character voices, which I at least kinda try to do in outloud reading. I mention this because Yuuma's has turned into a headcanon. I read Yuuma with... what is basically an up-pitched version of my impression of Heavy tf2, with a bit less funny in the russian accent. And my headcanon is that Yuuma just actually talks like that. Like, she doesn't know a HINT of Russian, and doesn't even know what the fuck a Russia IS, but she does have a Russian accent.

Reisen Udongein Inaba: So, I have a few for Reisen, but I'mma share my favorite, which comes in a few parts. First up, Reisen and Nazrin are friends. Don't ask how or why, they just are. Second off, Reisen has a bit of that Yuuma thing going on where she just inexplicably sounds cowboy-ish. Third, (and this one also relates to Nazrin) Reisen and Nazrin like collecting vintage stuff. This specific headcanon though is about the vintage stuff Reisen collects. To make a long story short, Reisen is an old guns gal. Like, she has a bunch of old as shit earth fire-arms in her room, and she just likes looking at 'em. Even gave one to Nazrin as a gift.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOO im also chronically online this is a safe space for the chronically online dw (i also respond at chronically online speeds sooo) but FR THE UNHOLY TRINITY LMAOO if we add Raichi it’s the four horsemen of the apocalypse (bro has never played anything other than defense though and we like. NEVER see him touch the ball basically so uh sorry bro no sexy soccer time yet)

Honestly I don’t know why more people can’t just let people exist?? Like fr just leave them alone and live your life why make it so miserable for everyone sheesh…also please those twelve year olds on tiktok can’t even tie their shoe laces nor should they be on tiktok learning “potty mouth phrases” LMAO I think they need a reality check DESPERATELY

Never apologize for writing too much Karasu.

But LMAOO OK IM GLAD HAHA so real for that I can’t do what Reo or Barou do for him like I will not be the Anri to your Ego!!! Please put your socks in the laundry!!!! But this isn’t irl so he’ll still be a squishy bear to me

LMAO REALLL side character supremacy >>> Honestly I didn’t hate the animation either although I did notice some funky scenes it wasn’t nearly as bad as everyone made it seem…I’m glad to hear that they’re putting their eightbitussy into it though

He’s so captain it’s literally insane (quick we gotta talk more about this and manifest Karasu captain for u20 World Cup) Aiku honestly a good option too (I wanna see my man in action though) if it’s Isagi I’ll lowk riot

BESIDES AN EROTIC LEFT LEG GOODBYE that made me snort as I read this

I LOVE READING THE REFERENCES LMAOOO if they fit into the story keep them coming!!! (KARASU DROWNING SHDGSHSH IM NOT READY)

Ok yeah I also kinda ballparked that amount in my mind LMAO I forgot to mention this more in my last response but the ON SALE THING >>>> I laughed it was so goofy too like she caught him red handed THE NEXT DAY like bro those were NOT on sale…$50 for advice boy you’re not slick

Chefs kiss mc written wonderfully WITHOUT the typical overly used cliches as much as I love a stupid mc sometimes it’s quite an overused trope I feel where it’s the teehee dummy reader so again, this was refreshing LOL (I always love how you give your y/ns substance as characters and like humans..?? Like they all feel like actual people and aren’t your just your average w*ttp*d UwU MCs…I mean writers have to start somewhere so maybe I should stop bashing them like this but uh)

Honestly it’s such an interesting language which is why it takes me a bit to translate/transcribe sometimes because I can’t capture the underlying meanings or emotions as well in English LMAOO (the first time I tried was the hiori light novel and finding the correct phrasing was definitely a learning curve LOL) but omg slay you’re outperforming people living in the motherland!! That’s honestly really impressive, do you get to speak it frequently?

Snuffy’s backstory is actually so sad I can’t :(( also the SONG CHOICE??? Bye. But this is why I can’t even say “no one dies in soccer anymore” man

NO FR you know it’s bad when I’m impressed by a healthy family in bllk shdshhs HAHA FAIR TRADE INDEED o7 I have chapter 2 ready it was longer than I expected but I sped up the process using dictation as I read it LMAOAO so again if you catch any typos or weird punctuation lmk LOL (when I tell you I almost died dictating this I LAUGHED and reacted like omfg and it caught me saying that and wrote it down but ANGWAYS I’m not sure anything is beating this chapter) I know I said summary earlier but I don’t think I’m capable of doing that LMAOA so this is basically just the entire chapter I just reformatted it in a kinda summary like format because I don’t wanna keep pausing to type so many quotation marks HAHAHA anyways enjoy! I’ll come back to discuss after you read it so I don’t spoil anything yet hehe

Signing off early so it doesn’t weirdly attach to the end of the LN section LOL

-Karasu anon

2-Honor Student:

In elementary school, Kenyu was an honor student. Although he was a little cowardly, he was first and foremost, a kind, hard-working kid. he always did his homework and happily greeted everyone. Got along well with his peers and never fought. He was someone that both his classmates and teachers could rely on. When it was time to choose class president, Tomoda nominated him, and everyone joined in agreeing to nominating Kenyu. But after half a year, something shocking had occurred.

Little by little Kenyu had become better friends with his seatmate Tomoda, frequently going to his house after school. Tomoda had a kind sister three years their senior. She would often give them candy and play games with them. One day, Kenyu had gone over to play with Tomoda, to be told by his older sister that he hadn’t gotten home yet and was possibly taking a detour. She told Kenyu to go ahead and wait upstairs for him, but he wondered if maybe he was meeting with other friends in the park. He wondered if he too should go to the park, but it’d be troublesome if he had assumed incorrectly. While he was lost in his thoughts, Tomoda’s sister suddenly came up to him and brushed away his bangs. His hair had always been soft, and his mom had always helped him style it, so the Tomoda’s sister had always complemented him, saying his hair made him look so handsome like a model. It wasn’t unusual for her to touch his hair, but that wasn’t all that happened that day. In addition, she kissed his forehead. His eyes widened as his brain was left short-circuiting. “Huh?”

“My beloved Kenyu, let’s play together” she had said with sparkling eyes. Kenyu could feel his heart racing. “…I’ve gotta go to the park..!” His face turned bright red and he ran out. He didn’t end up, going to the park, but instead of ran back home to his room, waiting for his racing heart to still.

“My beloved Kenyu” He had repeated her words in his mind. he didn’t really understand it all, but he was happy that she said she liked him. He was a bit embarrassed, though that she had kissed him. He thought himself, “I’m never telling anyone about this.”

The handsome class president and honor student. By the time he became a second year, he had grown taller, adding to his versatility in giving him athletic potential. as he continued growing, he came to be one of the tallest in his grade. He was fast at running, and he was always the last one left in dodgeball. Then, of course, came Sports Day. After comparing all the times in their PE Class, Kenyu’s high ranking had gotten him chosen for the relay race. Everyone was in agreement. He was tall, fast and the perfect fit for the job. He was to be the anchor for the relay race. Was it really all right for him to play such an important role? he felt a bit uneasy, but he would give his best once again for the people relying on him. Until the day of the sports festival, Kenyu would run every day. He’d wake up early to run and practice dashes on the field after school. Every Sunday, he’d have his father time him. Finally, it was time for the class relay. Under the clear sky, the fastest runners would compete while the cheer squads cheered them on. Kenyu’s class, 2-1, however, would compete in vain. After each grouping, members of his team would slip down the ranks. By the time Kenyu got the baton he was in last place. There is a huge gap between him and the top, all the people running in front of him are the fastest in their class after all. But Kenyu had to try his best. Everyone had chosen him as anchor after all. He steadily started accelerating, passing by another player in just a quick moment. With his large physique moving vigorously and his feet firmly stomping against the ground, he gradually closed the gap between the other runners. His classmates all cheered for him, and as they continued supporting him, he continued gaining speed. Even the announcer from the broadcasting club got caught up in the excitement. With the loud cheers under the blue sky, Kenyu passed the final goal, bursting past the four other racers and finishing first. It’s the first time he’d ever run so fiercely. His chest heaved as he caught his breath. Kenyu had finished first for the sixth graders. His classmates had showered him with praise, wearing a big smiles on their faces as they crowded around him. Kenyu thanked them for their support, feeling that their cheers had powered him on. Kenyu was honest and sincere. He didn’t know he could run that fast. It’s because everyone had believed in him that he was able to discover a new part of him. To Kenyu, it was an incredibly joyous moment. A few days after that, when he got home, a shiny soccer ball was waiting for him in the doorway. Kenyu was surprised and had wondered what it was for. His parents had thought it would be good for him to give soccer a try, seeing how he was so fast. It would make him more popular too. After seeing that their child had such amazing speed they suggested that he try out a sport and bought him a soccer ball. Of course his mother also wanted to see him popular. Immediately, Kenyu went outside and tried kicking the ball. As he ran with the ball, he found that he couldn’t stop. He’d kick it forward and chase after it continuing on. “This is fun!”, he thought to himself. In all honesty, being able to dribble without losing speed is a technique that’s difficult for beginners, but Kenyu, blessed with incredible athletic ability, was able to do it from the start. That’s how Kenyu “met” soccer, his parents had blessed him with the opportunity. As if it was fate, Kenyu found himself absorbed in soccer.

i wonder what sexy soccer even is 😭 like what does it entail yk…HAHA chronically only gang rise 🤩 tumblr truly is the site for people of our kind i love it

the craziest to me is when they freak out about non-teenagers watching shows and writing fics meanwhile they are openly thirsting for old ass characters?? why are you at fourteen writing paragraphs abt every position you want to fuck toji and nanami in 😭😭😭 look i’m not going to judge too harshly because wtvr i get it but also like some of them need to realize that those in glass houses should not be throwing stones

the karasu tabito tag is basically mine atp DJSKDK i think every karasu fan has probably seen at LEAST one or two of my posts (whether it’s a fic or just one of my karasu shitposts)

EXACTLYYYY YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME BEING AN ANRI there’s only room for one high maintenance person per relationship and that role is fulfilled by me 👆🏻 that’s why my other favs are karasu barou and reo…you know those kings are NOT letting their partners suffer 😫 however in fiction nagi is my squishy cuddly fluffy dog bf so he is still number one in my heart 😩

if it’s isagi i’ll be mad because he doesn’t even feel like he has any interest in being captain 😓 i think aiku could work but agreed we def have to see more of him plus i don’t think he’d be made captain as he’s not an og blue locker yk?? OMG but if the trend continues we should be able to manifest karasu as captain…holding a prayer circle now 🕯️🕯️🕯️ (lowkey it would be funny if ego made like kurona or niko captain just because they’re the only ones that aren’t batshit insane and typically keep their speeches and vocab relatively normal 😭)

the way eita didn’t think she’d check if they were actually on sale too is so funny like she’s been dying to go there did you think she wouldn’t go and ask if the sale was still going on?! SO not slick omg i love him though…but $50 FJKSKS idek where he got that type of money from

i do enjoy writing a good old dumb/oblivious reader every now and again but i do think they have to be done right to feel believable!! personally all of my y/ns and mcs are based off of aspects of my own personality — some closer to my actual self than others ofc — which i think makes it easier to flesh them out because it’s just like “okay what would i do in that situation” LMAOO most of my side character ocs are based off of people i know too which again makes it easier to make them feel complex because it’s like “right so how would ___ react to that happening to them”…sometimes they end up not even being that similar (tullia in pomegranate ink is NOTHING like my irl best friend that she’s “based off of”) but just thinking of them as real people helps me treat them as such in the narrative!!

haha yes everyone does start somewhere so i never try to hate to their faces but i think it’s okay to acknowledge a general trend/pattern!! like there’s a difference between saying “your specific fic sucks i hate how you wrote your main character” versus being like “i think a lot of fics in x fandom have this problem with characterization”!! to me it’s not hate because people can decide whether that applies to them or not yk?? and yeah the wattpad uwu mcs are truly smth…or the ones that are meant to be “badass” but are really just loud/rude/make overly sexual jokes and swear a lot 😭 a lot of the times at first it’s easy to make characters as stereotypes/caricatures of themselves or have them composed of cliches but i do think most people grow out of it i quickly!! just a phase we must all go through i suppose…i will be the first to say i was cringe when i started writing that’s why half of my old works are private now 😩

HAHA OUTPERFORMING INDEED it’s so funny whenever i visit india my relatives tell me it looks like my voice is being dubbed over because i speak such good hindi but i’m very pale by indian standards so i look like a foreigner 😭 which omg ik that’s such a stereotypical thing to be saying like “no i don’t look like my race” when you very obviously do but just this last january i visited india for the first time in six years and people IN INDIA (including literally people i’m related to) thought i was either irani, afghani, or from spain 😓 they’d get jumpscared when i’d speak to them in hindi KSDJKSAN their lives would flash before their eyes as they tried to remember if they had talked shit abt me 😩 i speak it a bit at home and with all of my extended family that’s kind of the only language they know so when i call them i speak it!! i also just have a really really good memory (hence the lack of studying) so i don’t forget things which helps me pick up languages rlly quickly

SNUFFY’S BACKSTORY KILLS ME it’s so sad yet also realistic??? like it really feels like smth that could’ve happened irl yk (idk if it’s based off of smth or not) but on the other hand yuki’s is so normal i love it 😍 the fact that he got into soccer in such an average and chill way too LMAOAOAO my unproblematic goat!! although the sister thing is so funny…i’m assuming this is a different friend’s older sister than the one he fell in love with at age 10 because according to egoist bible she was 16 😭 and this girl is only three years older than him so they must be diff?? lowkey crazy as hell omg even in elementary school yuki was pulling 😰 i always interpreted those two facts (his first love was his friend’s 16 year old sister and his first confession was when his friend’s sister kissed him on the forehead) as being abt the same person and it being like the 16 year old sister was just kissing him because he was a cute little kid and he misinterpreted it/got embarrassed because he had a crush on her if that makes sense?? but ig they’re different people entirely!!

[alastair-1205]

Episode 12 reactions

Euphrasia!! She’s living her best life

Does this imply Geo just fucked off back to TLOLT lmao????

BUT ALSO I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS COMPETING AND NOT JUST WATCHING

TOX!!

INVIS GUY!!!

Omg is Skylor here, plz say she is-

Beatrix >:(

Also with the tea leaves…

Oh the tiny rock bastards again

Just take the title girl, you’re the red ninja now

Lmao that is not gonna do jack shit I’m sorry to say

Oh fuck youuuuuu rock dude 

DO YOU NYA? DO YOU? Someone let this girl fucking emote I stg

KAI :D

God the design of superhell is really cool actually

Well don’t yell again!!!

I don’t think Frag exists ngl. Actually nah maybe he does. I’m still deciding. That’s just such a weirdly pointed thing to say lmao

Arin :(

Jiro Did Not balance that bowl the whole way there-

ZANE :D

He can do the thing now too!!

Also Master Lloyd being good at his job!! He knows what he’s talking about!!

WHERE TF IS COLE MAN? IS HE WITH GEO? HE BETTER BE WITH HIS HUSBAND

Zane’s sassy little stance lmao

YEA ITS LLOYDS TIME TO STEP TF UP

Aw Zane tried to help lol

ZANES SO PROUD OF HIM LOOK AT HIS FACE AW

Did he not already have the title of Master since like. Season 7? I know he was never acting as it, but he’s been training for this for at least a decade right?

But the again it’s Lloyd even if that’s the case he’d still think he’s not ready lmao

I love all the Lloyd and Zane content. It’s very sweet 

HE CARES SO MUCH MAN

Oh god he’s being set up to hate himself when this all goes to shit isn’t he. That phrasing man…

Ah so that’s what that screen caps from lmao

Oh hi Cole

Stfu Lloyd I stg-

HE TRUSTS ARIN 

Cool outfits!! Even Sora’s kinda matches!

“My dude-“ LMAO

I was gonna ask why they never got invites in the past but ig this was just going on in another realm before? 

Yo shes new. 

Robot murder

Shit where Did Arin go-

Yoooooo Roby!

LMAO HE JUST INSTANTLY STARTED FLIRTING 

BOOOOOOOOO THATS THE FUSHIA NINJA U POSER LMAO

Oh god he’s a content creator 

This getting leaked during the olympics is kinda hilarious 

OH GOD THE COPS GOT HIM LMAO

Oh yo Frack (Frag?) is real!

[emotionally-charged-arson]

A Very, Very Unfinished Pile of Theory of Everything Headcanons (Ayreon)

Last semester, my English final was a presentation relating the overall theme of the Forever saga to that of the more popular works of H.G. Wells. Details of that argument aside, the thesis was that Ayreon’s emotional core was the presence of small-scale acts of love juxtaposed against large-scale existential tragedy, balanced in their individual power. That we are messy and self-destructive, and in the grand scheme of things we mean very little in the universe, but we are resilient and alive and human and that has to be worth something.

I really like this aspect of the main story, and it got me a perfect score on that assignment. It had a ten minute time limit and I was fighting for my life to stay under it. While I was downsizing the script, I couldn’t help but think of an earlier idea I had drafted about how The Theory of Everything on its own was a really incredible example of the mad scientist archetype turned completely on its head (it was a science-fiction analysis class). Specifically how that script was almost three times longer than the original H.G. Wells one, that took me a solid twenty minutes to read aloud. 

I literally wrote an hour long lecture about The Theory of Everything. No headcanons. No extra theories. Literally just picking apart its canon plot. 

I think this is why I have so little extra writing for it. The story as its given is airtight and just…fucking incredible. Arjen wrote it with a very clear theme in mind like he did with Transitus, but TToE isn’t missing half of its story because he couldn’t pull in the cash to make a movie out of it. You can feel the intention behind every single character, they feel like real people, it has so many layers to it and it is literally, objectively, the greatest prog album ever made. Fight me. 

But anyways: For lack of better phrasing, there isn’t much to “fix” in that sense. Almost all the headcanons I have for The Source or Transitus boil down to a few things:

I was being self-indulgent with a favorite character and it snowballed into a genuinely informative trait/subplot that informs the main story (a certain hc I have where Henry just fucking shoots Daniel in the back by mistake sometime between Two Worlds and Talk of the Town, turning into this weirdly effective commentary of how Daniel is conditioned to his brother’s shitty behavior and Abby hauling ass to get him out of that headspace)

I am curious about aspects of an album’s worldbuilding and get a little excited while filling in the blanks that were perfectly fine being left alone (doing mental gymnastics trying to build a version of The Source where these five academics, three politicians, two religious figures, one robot and one random spaceman viably know each other)

The rarer option that I am genuinely disappointed by how a part of the story was handled and completely ignore this small part of canon to make the overall story be more effective. Or attempt it, at least (Lavinia’s entire character undermining Transitus’ themes and her contradicting her own motivations, and me, in turn, just writing her character from scratch while keeping with the basic story beats [her seeing ghosts, doing shady shit with Henry, etc.])

But with TToE I’ve felt very little need to do any of these. If I were to really dive into it with intention I think I would start building off of the whole bank robbery plot in Phase III (just a slightly weirdly framed plot point for me), but I haven’t thought about it. It’s not that glaring of an issue and there’s few other places in the story where I think adding anything would make it more effective. 

This isn’t to say that Transitus and The Source are objectively worse in any sense, but they leave a lot more up to interpretation, allowing me to write so many add ons that they become structured and essential to each other’s function. 

It’s fun with those two albums. With TToE I really have to look for cracks to fill and it’s kind of useless. 

Not entirely, though. I’ve got a few hcs, and maybe they’ll warrant dozens of google doc pages of context one day like the other two albums: 

Two central things sparked curiosity. Setting, and how the parent characters came to hate each other that much. Naturally. 

This started four-ish years ago when I was pacing around my parents’ house with TToE on the mind (as it often is), and my brother put on this show called His Dark Materials. I watched the intro to it all of one time and just…knew this was the aesthetic TToE should have.🔗 At least combined with dark academia. It’s an album about physics and ghosts, that seems reasonable enough. 

…funnily enough, as I later found out, His Dark Materials itself has a very dark-academia-esque vibe, and the plot is entirely based upon the intersectionality between science and mysticism and trivial human attempts to make sense of it. 

So. Pretty fitting. 

This really stuck with me, and a handful of the characteristics of the show and books became the basis for the way I picture The Theory of Everything. Mainly the visual aesthetic, like I said, but also the fact that the story starts at a parallel version of Oxford University. I don’t have some giant case study for this like with Transitus/New England. I just think it’d be a cool and vibey setting. Maybe it’s the American in me but there’s something about a thousand-year-old college with a campus made of literal goddamn castles that borders on the fantastic. 

From there, you have a decent excuse for The Prodigy to run off to Ireland, where you can choose from one of like 200 different pretty little isolated lighthouses for him to lose his mind in, far enough away for him not to be found as long as he did. Not to mention it lowkey matches with the overt Celtic influence of the music. Or Scotland, if you want some weather symbolism from the North Sea. 

Solid setting, if I say so myself, and it actually influenced the family’s whole situation. Here, The Father (Mike) is a physics professor at Oxford, and The Mother (Cristina) is the director of the Bodleian Library. It’s how and where they meet in 1991 (though the mother is in an attendant position at the time), as shown by the only part of this I have drawn out:

They hit it off, and marry in 1993. Their first and only child is born two years later and they love him half to death. Everything is more or less nice and normal. 

In 1996, Mike stumbles into “proof,” more or less, of the theory of everything being a singular, solvable equation through his work, practically by accident, and begins focused work on it with enthusiastic support from his wife. Life is going great, Cristina is promoted and the two are balancing things well enough. 

The boy shows little to no social development into his toddler years, but his parents don’t think much of it. His father was similar at his age; they’re not worried. They even go as far to say he’ll turn out just as ambitious and smart as his dad and relatives, coworkers and family friends go along with it, setting insanely high expectations for this literal three year old. Mike keeps working on his theory. 

The boy enters preschool at age four; still no improvement. Just isolates himself and draws indiscernible patterns on everything you put in front of him. His parents finally try to intervene to some degree, hiring private instructors and talking with some other psych/child development people they know through the university, to no avail. Nothing changes. He just stares off into space, doesn’t interact with any of them and supposedly doesn’t pay attention to lessons. He still isn’t speaking. Cristina is finally concerned

Around the same time, Mike makes a significant breakthrough in his work, gaining worldwide attention. He receives massive grants from in and outside of Oxford to continue his work, and quits his teaching job to make more time for the endeavor. Cristina is left as the family’s sole provider. She understands and is in agreement on that decision, that’s not the problem yet. The problem is that Mike is becoming more or less indifferent to their son hits five, not seeing any previously projected greatness he was supposed to have in his father’s footsteps. Cristina, much more conscious of balance in her life and how having kids works, isn’t sure what to make of that. Their relationship starts to strain. 

From there, as Mike keeps working, Cristina takes the kid to all sorts of specialists around England but none of them can pinpoint what’s “wrong” with him. She tries much more actively to connect with him like they’re telling her to (though she still enrolls him in the university’s affiliated primary school program, against their suggestions), bringing him everywhere. Buys him little memory games since that’s all that seems to hold his attention. She’s past any belief of him being some secret genius like his dad, not that her opinion of her husband is super positive at this point anyway. She’s just dead-set on her son having some sense of normal in his life. 

By 2002, Mike has completely secluded himself and works nearly constantly. He has made no progress on his theory since 1999 and the fame garnered from his breakthrough has faded. The family is running out of money and Cristina is exhausted. The boy is ostracized at school and still (almost) totally nonverbal. Her coworkers keep suggesting these weird holistic remedies that she refuses. She knows better than to fall for all that new age, pyramid scheme bullshit. 

The son’s condition, whatever it is, worsens until mom, desperate, puts her foot down in 2008 (or “gives up,” if you wanna put it like that) and drags her husband and son to this private practice in Scotland she was told about by a friend, suspicious but ready to put up with anything at this point. 

😐👍

[keithwinters]

WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS (from here!) god help me I'm doing 3 at once, K/S/F for Keith, Sam, and Mama Winters(Felicity) :>

What's the lie your character says most often? All: "It's alright!"

2. How loosely or strictly do they use the word 'friend'? K: Loosely, to be friendly S: Strictly but often, as they truly are that friendly F: Loosely, to appear friendly

3. How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing? K: He can barely help it. 90-10 split S: Doesn't really have a need to mask often; is surprisingly good at it. 70-30 split F: Thinks she has to for a number of reasons; is extremely good at it. 40-60 split

4. What's a hobby they used to have that they miss? K: Ice skating S: Urban exploration F: Roller derby

5. Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen? K: Theoretically, but never had the thought to do so. Probably wouldn't on principle. S&F: Yes; ASPCA commercials (they have done this at the same time, for fun)

6. What's their favorite [insert anything] that they've never recommended to anyone before?

7. What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

8. How loose is their use of the phrase ‘I love you’? K: Says it often, but only to people he really loves S: Very loose, but liking is a little bit of love anyway, right? F: Only says it to family

9. Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive? K: It used to be more of a mix, but now it's maybe too gentle. He would really like gentle love in return but could honestly do with some tough love. S: A good mix on both accounts F: More tough than gentle, though she's flexible. She prefers tough love but she might just be being hard on herself.

10. What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity? K: He's not really prone to doing that anymore, the closest he gets is talking about Annabelle/cars, or his family. S: Whatever random fact they might have about a given situation; they don't have a favorite but they like to share neat things. F: Her baby is an ACTOR :>

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference? K&S: Look at their hands/ask about them. They both have very distinct scars/markings with specific stories for each. F: Watch for her to fiddle with her necklace. She's very exact with it and does it often.

12. What's something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific! K: Stupid puns/dad jokes S: When dogs try to get a stick that's too long thru a door and bonk into the frame. F: Words pronounced incredibly wrong on purpose

13. When do they fake a smile? How often? K: When he needs to put up a front. Not very often bc he's not very good at it. S: When they don't want someone to worry. Not very often but more than they should. F: When she needs to.

14. How do they put out a candle? K: Pinches it out S: Swats at it/ gives up and blows bc it's too hot to pinch F: Blows it out

15. What’s the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they're alone?

16. What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head? K: Basically anyone S: No one F: Specific people in town

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

18. Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)? Each other :> (For better or worse, Keith is already well on the way to loving Alun and Raine unconditionally too.)

19. What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they've been avoiding? K&S: Try to talk it out so the rancid vibes can end. F: Silently stare at a wall until the other person leaves.

20. Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don't like the person?

21. What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it? K: He's been told that gesturing a lot is rude while talking and he doesn't want to be rude but!! what!! he tries to be mindful but still gestures a lot when he's worked up... which is often. S: Asking "How are you" and answering falsely to be polite. If you don't care why are you asking? If you're not ok we can talk about it? They've learned to do it anyway, but they don't like that sort of thing. F: Small talk. It's necessary for someone in her position and she's really good at keeping it going... but she really prefers concise conversations.

22. What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

23. What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember? K: For saying something. S: For not saying something. F: For leaving.

24. Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it? K: He put them in there, and then takes some out. Chocolate chip. S: Yes, and keep coming back for more/tries to sneak some out. Whatever cookies are available. F: One or two. Butter cookies.

25. What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot? K: Cars S: Urban exploration F: Flower language

26. How would they respond to being fired by a good boss?

27. What’s the worst gift they ever received? How did they respond?

28. What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want? K: He can't just ask for what he wants, obviously!! Imagine!! He wants to feel wanted, needed, to be doted on like he wants to dote on others, but god help him if he even thought to ask for that. S: Is very upfront about ...most wants. What they verbalize and what they actually want tend to line up. F: Usually tells people she wants for nothing. Wants her children to be happy above all else, of course, but she'd really like to get back into wrestling. Alas...

29. How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them? K: Gets defensive or flippant, depending on who it is. Why would he lie about this? S: Puppydog eyes, drawn out "come ooooon" and similar sentiments. Might worry that they're actually wrong about whatever it is, they do get things wrong pretty often... F: Very "suit yourself", casual attitude. That's your problem now but she'll remember this.

30. When they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it’s personal versus when it’s professional? Absolutely for all 3. Personal is way more severe than work.

31. When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it? K: When he's hurt someone's feelings. He might need a little time first but he tries to be quick to rectify it, even at the cost of his own feelings. S: When someone is upset at them or they're upset at someone else. They tend to backpedal fairly quickly in an effort to avoid it. F: When she's gotten too heated. She has to work through it on her own for a bit first, stubborn as she is. But eventually she'll make it right as best she can.

32. If they committed one petty crime / misdemeanor, what would it be? Why? K: Assault. Someone did something they shouldn't have and it escalated. S: Trespassing. It's an abandoned building what does it matter!! F: She hasn't done anything of this level. :>

33. How do they greet someone they dislike / hate? The Winters family special: ^_^ If anyone is making this a scene it's gonna be the other person.

34. How do they greet someone they like / love? K: Big smile, hands open if someone wants a hug but doesn't move to initiate one. Reserved but warm energy. S: Big hug, or at least an arm around the shoulder. Boisterous and full of energy! F: Takes their hand in hers, put a hand on their arm or straight up pulls them into a hug. Exudes cozy energy.

35. What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made? K: A feint S: A lie F: A theft

36. Who do they keep in their life for professional gain? Is it for malicious intent? K&S: No one. F: A good deal of the people in town/ neighboring towns. It's not malicious, but she's got a family to take care of! You catch more flies with honey, you know.

37. What’s a secret they haven’t told serious romantic partners and don’t plan to tell?

38. What hobby are they good at in private, but bad at in front of others? Why?

39. Would they rather be invited to an event to feel included or be excluded from an event if they were not genuinely wanted there? K: Excluded; he's terrified of people pretending to like him. S: Invited; maybe they can become friends! F: Excluded; she has better things to do.

40. How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head? K: He'll try to adjust. Did he misread the situation? Is he being too rough?? S: Zero thoughts as they cartoonishly shake a limp hand. F: She stays the course of a firm handshake. This person at best doesn't know how to shake hands or is meek, and at worst isn't taking this interaction seriously. She is taking mental notes.

41. What phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone / somewhere else? K: Says "y'know" as a shortened "dontcha know" from his dad and uncle. S: Started saying "hella" as soon as they moved to CA because it's fun to say F: Picked up "you betcha" to tease her husband initially but now cannot help but say it all the time

42. If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

43. What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding? K&S: Have a very skewed view of religion that they've had to navigate throughout life to varying degrees. F: Has a very skewed view of religious people that she's really really dug her heels into, so to be polite she'll flatout ignore them. She'll handwave misunderstandings to avoid a Situation but she's very adamant about her feelings on what religion does to people so she usually won't admit to any sort of fault or bias on her end.

44. What language would be easiest for them to learn? Why?

45. What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately? K: Lifted trucks S&F: Scratchy fabrics. They commiserate about them while Keith gives them a hard time. "Just stop touching them, no one is making you touch them." "That's not enough, this shouldn't EXIST. No one should have the ENDURE this-""Can you BE-LIEVE-"

46. Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen? K: He cannot help but run his mouth when he's worked up, but really tries to be a good listener at all times. S: Ebbs and flows vis a vis listening and talking. Tries to adjust to the person they're speaking with, but also just gets excited a lot. F: A listener who knows when it's important to speak.

47. Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well? K: No one. S: People worth forgetting. F: This isn't a number to be concerned about.

48. Who would they say ‘yes’ to if invited to do something they abhorred / strongly didn’t want to do? K: The boys and his family, of course. S: Their family, as well as their teammates, and at least some of their coworkers. It was sweet to invite them, afterall. F: Her family. She'd give her brother-in-law a hard time about it tho.

49. Would they eat something they find gross to be polite? K: Absolutely S: Rarely F: Absolutely not

50. What belief / moral / personality trait do they stand by that you (mun) personally don’t agree with?

51. What’s a phrase they say a lot? "Don't worry about it." :>

52. Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting? K: He's emotional but really tries to force himself to be rational. S: Emotions 100% F: Wait for the facts, though she can get really hotheaded really easily

53. Who would / do they believe without question? Each other. There might be some fussing or teasing, but they're very close and know if it's serious it's not to be taken lightly. Keith and Sam are liable to believe their teammates without question as well (though Keith is a little work-in-progress); if there's any questions it's usually just to try and understand the situation.

54. What’s their instinct in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn situation? K: Fight or Freeze/Fawn depending S: Flight/Freeze F: Fight

55. What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?

56. If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear? From each other, usually. But barring that for obvious reasons: K: He wants comfort from Alun and Raine, but is too worried they'll think/know he's weak. (And he still really wants Bella to not think he's the lamest thing ever) S: Being a hero means doing it scared, so we will do it scared!! (But if any of their teammates wanted to check on them they wouldn't say no.) F: No one else.

57. What’s a simple daily activity / motion that they mess up often? K: Prone biting his own tongue/lip when eating. S: Cooking anything above instant ramen. F: She struggles a bit with little fasteners, like buttons.

58. How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme? K: Only a handful, but he's kept up with a lot of them. Fighting, outdoorsy, and househusband stuff, theme-wise. S: Has tried many, many things, but sticks with very few for long. Trying to find what they like. Knife tricks and parkour are the mainstays, but there's no common theme throught all of them. F: Doesn't pick hobbies up as often as she did when she was younger, but will occasionally look into something that piques her interest. Likes games and needlecrafts the most, though has a tough time with smaller projects.

[gothmiqote]

odds for the ship game -- for WoL/Estinien or your Azem ship!

gonna do wolstinien for this one & delegate the other one for hythazemet ~

under a cut because length lol & also ig heads up for spoilers of like. the whole plot kinda fhgjj idk things get mentioned that happen up to EW & also some not-safe content lmao

Is your muse a romantic? Do they dream of love and marriage?

Yes? Maybe? Kind of? Varha has this weirdly domestic side that she's actually pretty comfortable with (likely wouldn't appreciate having this pointed out, though), so there's potential for her to wander down this route of thoughts. Realistically though I think her attachment issues would end up freaking her out too badly to seriously consider anything legally permanent. That's not to say it's off the table in the future or anything, but it's a very distant notion & she's not going to come to the conclusion that she's also able to be the one who initiates.

(Another thing to factor in here is that neither of them are the type of people to would even be thinking of the 'let's sign this for tax purposes'-type scenarios. Varha is considerably better about money & related bureaucratic life things than Estinien 'lost his company credit card privileges in record time' Varlineau, but she still lacks any foresight around planning for her future beyond next week.)

She will react favourably to the type of romantic gestures he does do, though. Like he's not subjecting her to the objective torture of having someone go 'hey I wrote this song about you :)' before they publicly serenade you acapella style, thank the fucking Twelve for that, there's not a version of her that has a strong enough poker face to take it. She melts when he remembers small likes/dislikes or takes note of something she never even bothered to verbalize in the first place. She's not a shy person, she can flick the switch into an affectionate mood pretty damn quick with the right incentive, she's just maybe not the most in-touch with her emotions all the time & sometimes needs to be coaxed.

At the end of the day, she's pretty sure that Estinien is her person. When she says she feels content with him, it's the farthest thing from 'settling' despite the connotations of the phrase. She's perfected the art of putting up a more secure & confident front, but in truth, she's gone through the bulk of her life feeling transient in her own and temporary in the lives of people around her. As the Warrior of Light, she's not only good enough--she's capable of exceeding external expectations. As herself? Not as much. She hasn't quite outgrown the deep feeling of never being anyone's favourite, of constantly being the tag along with her siblings growing up. She tries too hard to be something loud & useful & fundamentally unforgettable, and it's a knife to her side every time she falls back into acting with that desire in mind.

Estinien has been one of an exceptionally small number of people who have never added to the feeling, intentionally or not. She's not sure if it's right to be attracted to someone for the way they make you feel, if it's something that feels that selfish (in her mind). But he's obstinate enough that she knows he wouldn't have bothered to even take the chance with her if he didn't want to be there. She thinks, oddly, that part of the reason she's able to believe his motivations is the fact that he spent so long with a deliberate distance between them. It left her with less time to perform, and less time to ruminate on her hidden self-worth problems. Whatever the reason, she knows that she's never felt this way with anyone else, and no one else has cared enough to even give her that time to explore that internally. The wariness she held towards herself was more or less melted away when she was faced with how good she actually felt for once. There's a reason she didn't mind when the verbalized declarations of love started slipping out after a few months.

Is your muse good at kissing? Are they experienced?

Very good kisser.

Most people tend to assume Varha's far more experienced than she actually is for this reason--in reality, she's had a relatively small number of sexual partners, she just thinks kissing is fun & generally won't take much convincing for making out. She's particularly prone to this after a couple drinks, and sharing is caring when she's not in a serious relationship. It's hot and intimate without the full commitment of getting naked with someone & cleaning off afterwards, and it helps that she's bringing a public + outdoor sex kink to the table--even if things don't escalate to that point, the need for privacy is pretty small.

The side of her brain that makes her give in to her more mischievous bastard impulses makes kissing her #1 type of foreplay. She's able to keep herself at a pretty consistent level of arousal for a prolonged period of time while watching her partner completely come undone when she slides her tongue into their mouth in all the right ways. This is a dangerous game to play with Estinien, who is well fucking aware she's being an insufferable tease & will happily delay her own gratification at his expense. Unless he decides to haul her off to escalate things properly, she's about to spend her immediate future doing everything she possibly can to wind him up with her lips & indulgently wandering hands.

Thancred is the only other Scion to have been on the receiving end of one of her infamously white-hot kisses. It was a one-time thing, fuelled by an unholy amount of wine but was nonetheless an enjoyable encounter. (She thinks she may or may not have also done the same with Y'shtola, but that one's a far foggier memory, and she's not 100% sure it actually happened. Y'shtola doesn't help in solving the mystery, but Varha suspects this is more about Y'shtola possessing the same bastard instincts she has, and she also doesn't remember much of anything.)

Overall, she's pretty lax as long as she clicks well with someone & they're willing.

Is your muse comfortable with public displays of affection? 

To a point.

She likes touching a lot. Before now, she actually spent a fair bit of time alone. Post-Calamity, pre-Scion Varha spent her time as a travelling mercenary of sorts, taking on a string of what was essentially risky contract work and never establishing roots anywhere. She's competent when it comes to working a room, which often gives the illusion that she has more friends than she actually does. In reality, she really didn't have anyone, and predictably this led to (unconscious) touch starvation. If she's got the green light from someone she considers a friend, she's content to lean against them or sit close. One might count the physical contact from fighting as some sort of mitigation here (and as far as I remember, it actually can release some of the same chemicals in your brain as positive touch so this probably isn't too far off), but even if that was the case, it wasn't anywhere near enough. While she occasionally did engage in casual sex, the potential emotional intimacy it could lead to (or even a facsimile of the feelings) made her too uncomfortable to take care of her lack of physicality that way, which unfortunately compounded her predicament.

After spending so much time living this way, it's something she unconsciously seeks now that she's got access to it. And while his own personal history doesn't exactly match her own, there are enough similarities in the isolation to put them on fairly even ground.

Varha's caveat for pda is that it has to feel natural. She's extremely averse to anything that reads as 'fake' or trying too hard to win her attention. Something can be very obviously demonstrative, but it can't feel forced, whether the act is platonic or romantic. For most of ARR, she was actually seen as someone who could be pretty distant & cool (not an incorrect read. The walls were very, very real at the time.), and it's unfortunate that it took something drastic like the Waking Sands massacre for them to start coming down ("Wait, these people actively like me? And were concerned?"-style revelations). Over time though, it became apparent that she was actually open to hugs and kind touches, she simply wasn't a) aware that this was a something available to her and b) aware that she wanted or even needed them. She's still pretty quick to fire off a witty remark before baring her heart to anyone (talking honestly is... another beast entirely, but she readily accepts hugs & finds herself willingly sharing too-small seating areas just for the novelty of body contact.

Romantic contact operates pretty similarly. Not that she'd subject herself to seeing someone who felt the need to do a whole song & dance about how in love with her they were, she's still damn glad that's not Estinien's style in the slightest. She likes easy things--holding hands, or leaning against him if they're standing (or he's sitting; that height difference forces creativity on occasion). Hell, she's even more than happy to make herself at home on his lap in casual settings without caring who might be around. They're both incredibly blasé about this sort of thing; any attempts at friendly teasing from the Scions when they became an official 'item' fell comically flat. You definitely won't be hearing any sappy confessions of affection, but it's so obvious that they automatically gravitate toward each other regardless of most social situations.

For his part, Estinien usually likes to have his hand at least resting on her in come capacity. He's got a few draconic quirks leftover from Nidhogg, and this can manifest in some slightly possessive tendencies. Honestly, she likes it. It's nowhere near a level where it would impede her freedoms, but enough to make her feel like he's actually proud of outwardly signalling how he feels about her. She loves how casually he does it; of course she can expect him to automatically draw an arm around her shoulders if she joins him on a seat, why would he think twice about drawing attention to the fact that they're together?

It's not that he needs to be on her at all times or anything, he just... deeply prefers it, that's all. It helps that she's pretty tactile. He's been known to just sort of appear at her side at social gatherings, especially if there's any sort of crowd around her. He's not really trying to be menacing about it, and if she was irritated by it, he is capable of loosening up & finding something else to do (it doesn't happen often, but there have been times when she's needed some breathing room for whatever reason). He definitely doesn't consider himself the clingy type, and if he occasionally orchestrates it so that the Scions somehow end up short a sofa cushion & she simply has to get comfortable in his lap for a casual evening gathering with friends, no one says a word.

He's also got a habit of making small adjustments to her person if she's close enough--fixing a slightly off-center necklace, moving a piece of loose hair, that sort of thing & it's almost always done without him really realizing. This one comes with more exclusivity; she doesn't typically tolerate fussing from anyone else. She'd find it annoying if it were someone else's hand, but when he does it, it has a borderline meditative quality. Once again, pointing this out will lead to an interaction that features both of them shrugging & looking at you like you've grown a second head. They're comfortable with each other and know where the boundaries are, no, they're not concerned about holding up any type of reputation, what an odd thing to say.

They've got no problem kissing in public either, but she finds that as her name & face start becoming more recognizable, people start to get more annoying about her personal life. Plus, while she loves outdoor sex & the risk of being caught, it sort of loses the excitement when the risk factor essentially morphs into a guarantee.

This falls apart when you get liquor involved. They know how to pace themselves, but they also both like to indulge, especially among friends. After a certain amount of wine, it's not uncommon to see his arm tighten around her waist as he starts to press his face into the crook of her neck, leaving kisses that steadily amp up in intensity while she tries to carry on a conversation. Sometimes she'll play the same game, but it's more likely that she simply gets more touchy, draping herself on him in increasingly suggestive ways until one of them finally decides it's time to bid everyone a good night.

Is your muse the big spoon or the little spoon?

Small spoon, which has more to do with how ridiculous she would feel in the opposite role.

Estinien is nearly two feet taller than Varha, despite the fact that she's actually considered relatively tall herself for a Miqo'te woman & usually wears some sort of heel, even if she's dressing for combat. She's tried to be the big spoon before, and it lasted maybe a solid ten minutes before she had to re-adjust. Also, twelve forbid he rolls on her arm in the middle of the night; waking up with pins & needles would be an understatement. He's not bulky, but he's still significantly larger (& by extension, heavier) than she is. So she typically ends up the little spoon--she's an excellent size for holding. He's pretty partial to using her thighs as a pillow during the occasional afternoon nap, dozing off while she runs her fingers through his hair.

In bed, they usually prefer some variation of him on his back and she just sort of figures herself out around him, or facing each other. She likes being able to tuck into his chest, facing away from the world with their arms around each other & legs tangled up under the sheets. He's a cuddler (no surprise there), and definitely sleeps significantly better when they share a bed.

On the other hand, she finds that the quality of her sleep dropped pretty drastically during SHB. Partly because of the cold empty bed, yes (they might not have actually openly laid out what they were to each other before her trip to the First, but they'd spent the night together "by accident" enough times before that to start developing habits), but because of the events she was experiencing. She was always prone to having some vivid dreams, and they got dialled up to eleven after, morphing into something legitimately terrifying. She's at least moderately grateful that she doesn't wake up screaming, but she does jolt awake pretty violently & getting back to sleep after can be a task. It's made significantly easier if she's got a warm, solid body to curl back into & someone who wakes up to make sure she's alright.

Is your muse attracted to any features in particular?

They're both on Team Ass in the ongoing ass vs. tits debate. Varha is pretty shameless about it too. Zero effort to hide any appreciation for the way his thighs flex in his leathers. She's less inclined towards giving verbal compliments, but her thoughts read pretty clearly on her face. Estinien has more decorum by a margin, and by that I mean he doesn't really do the frequent appreciative staring she does (though, there is a certain look he gets in his eye that signals a long night is on the horizon for her), but he will dole out some lightning-quick "compliments" in her ear, sometimes paired with a sneaky ass-grab.

Outside of that, he (of course) loves the entire expanse of her body, but he's consistently drawn to the general area of her neck/collarbones/breasts, the latter becoming more of a focal point after an impulsive decision to get both nipples pierced sometime after EW. It was a more than welcome surprise after being apart for a few months. She's got a (predictable but understandable) weakness for his hands. Skilled, strong instruments calloused & scarred from years of using a lance, she's memorized every crease & scar. Speaking of scars, it's probably another obvious choice, but she can't help wanting to run her fingers, lips & tongue over his. Estinien's collection is more impressive than hers, sporting reminders of Nidhogg on each arm, and they've become natural resting places in her explorations of him.

Have their partners been mostly male, mostly female, or evenly split? 

Varha can count her partners on both hands with fingers to spare at the end of her list. She's not unfamiliar with women, but her past encounters tend to skew male. It's less to do with any real preference and more just a reflection on who was willing & who had her attention at the time. Estinien's history is likely an inverse slant with a similar ratio.

Where is your muse most sensitive? 

Feel like most Miqo'te can probably count the base of the tail as an erogenous zone. She's not super complicated beyond that, though. Biting down on her trapezius will net a pretty intense reaction, but you can probably evoke something similar just by leaving the same type of marks elsewhere on her neck.

Would your muse ever tempt their partner, e.g. flirting, wearing tight/sexy clothing?

Yes, yes & yes. She typically likes to wear things that are short & show plenty of leg even if she's not trying to be a menace. Upping the ante & hiking up her skirt a bit more isn't a problem. She knows her body well, and knows that she's objectively attractive. She's aware of all the best angles for her backside (but likes to pretend she isn't posing whatsoever). She's surprisingly pretty good about not "borrowing" clothes that don't belong to her, but loves how she looks in lingerie & one of his button-ups. But nothing really beats the pure simplicity of entering a room fresh out of the bath & dropping her towel in his line of sight. She's comfortable being nude, so the nonchalance of the act is honestly more what gets him than anything else.

Flirting, in Varha's opinion, is probably one of the most entertaining pastimes known to civilization. She's quick with double-entendres & some pretty loaded implications. She's also fond of suggestive touches or 'conveniently' brushing up against him. Basically, if she sees an opening to make it known that she's angling for something, she'll take it.

Does your muse leave hickies? Do they ask for them?

She loves to be bitten. Which is fantastic, given that he very much likes to bite. It's never really been something she's asked for with words, and the first time he suck his teeth into the side of her neck was a chance taken without asking, but there was no question that it was something that really did it for her. It's also a good thing she enjoys seeing the bruising afterwards too; Estinien isn't particularly gentle about it (surprisingly this actually doesn't have anything to do with the Dragon-like qualities he still possesses--he's just always been that way).

She can definitely get a bit bitey herself, but it's not as much of a need for her like it is for him. She's more likely to leave nail marks behind instead of hickies, though this may be at least partially a product of their positioning from the size difference.

There's definitely a part of her that likes it when you can see the marks on her neck past her shirt collar. Her favourites are always in a spot where they just peek out enough to be spotted, but she's not going to complain if they're higher or lower. She also loves it when he marks up her hips and thighs in similar ways, although those usually stay entirely hidden from public view. It's more or less a given that she's going to have some visual evidence of him on her body any time they hook up.

Has your muse reached first/second/third base? Home run? 

Well. Based on the rest of the questions. Yes.

Would your muse ever send a sexual text message? Would they send pictures?

(I have no idea if this is even possible in-universe but let's pretend it is for the sake of speculation.)

Probably. Maybe nothing in writing--she would do a passable job if she tried, but it's not really her thing. Pictures, though? I can definitely see her taking the time to set up the timer on the phone & have a mini-boudoir shoot with herself for this exact reason. Like I said, she's aware of what she looks like and knows what parts of her body he enjoys. & everyone knows a picture is worth 1000 words. To be honest, it would probably get the message across faster than any written words. I do feel like this would definitely be a 'use with caution' move, though; it's not so much a tease as it would be considered an immediate invitation.

Is your muse the type to discuss their sex life or sexual prowess with others?

If it came up, she has no problems participating in a conversation. She's also comfortable answering select questions, but there's a limit. Varha won't be sitting there offering up intense details of her latest sexual encounter without notice. She's fine if people know she has sex & know who she's with, but doesn't really want to get into it past that. Basically yes, but also, it's literally no one's business.

How interested is your muse in sex and sexual activity?

Part of the reason she was fine with not having a ton of casual sex over the years comes from being content with just getting herself off between encounters. She's got maybe a slightly above-average sex drive, but that can be taken care of solo. She's responsive, though. Estinien has a significantly higher sex drive, & it doesn't take much for her to match that

asks.

[never-be-tamed]

WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS:

Omitted a few of the original questions; full list here.

1. How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them? If they really don't believe me I shut down. I'm like: Ok. Mostly I leave the person with their false opinion of me, after all its not my job to make them believe me.

2. What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity? Not something I tell people, but I'm sure as hell that people do know that I am an Idiot.

3. How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head? Neutral. Well, a handshake.

4. When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it? When I failed to protect my loved ones. When I remember things that I did in the past. I fall down in this hole of shame and I need to get rid of that immens anger that I feel for myself.

5. How do they greet someone they dislike / hate? Still polite or not at all.

6. If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear? I usually tend to not talk about it at all. But I try to open up more about my fears to my girlfriend, let myself fall into her arms and get comfort, even when it's hard for me to let go.

7. Would they eat something they find gross to be polite? No.

8. What’s their instinct in a fight situation? I'll fight until my last breath.

9. Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen? Depends. If some of my friends are in trouble I listen to them but I always try to give advice too. But I am mostly a listener. I need to feel seen and comfortable to be more of a talker.

10. Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting? Again, depends. I can be very impulsive. I can give in to the emotion easily. But I can also be very calm and I wait for the outcome to make a better desicion as well.

11. What’s a phrase they say a lot? Schisse and, if that counts, I also laugh a lot.

12. How do they greet someone they like / love? A hug or a kiss.

13. What hobby are they good at in private, but bad at in front of others? Why? I would say painting. In private I can be very intuitive but I would tend to give it more thought when I am with other people while doing it, because I guess I don't feel very comfortable then, I would always ask myself if what I paint is enough.

14. What do they notice first in the mirror? I always notice my eyes and my beard first. And my smile.

15. What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they’ve been avoiding? Avoid them, lmao. You stay there in your own corner!

16. How would they respond to being fired by a good boss? I would be like: Ok. But since I am the Boss...

17. What’s the lie your character says most often? It's okay, it's all good, I understand.

18. When do they fake a smile? When hurt.

— tagging: you!

[breitzbachbea]

1 for Francesco!

You know me soooo well. You know that I was looking at that list and twirled my hair, thinking about 1 for Franciiii.

Weirdly Specific but Helpful Character Building Questions

1.What’s the lie your character says most often?

"I told you everything I know." After years, even Gabriella and the Vargas are half-buying that one, deep down. Fabio rarely does - Dolcetto only does when he thinks he can be sure he mined everything out of the man he loves. (Before they dated, he either did believe it, because other things to worry about or he didn't buy shit that Franci was selling. No in between, really).

OR

"You know me." Do we, Francesco? Do we know you? Do you know yourself? I know this isn't so much even a lie as it is a very empty, very useful phrase that's used to either reassure or unsettle, depending on the context. Mostly to hide his canines from friend and foe alike.

A lot of what he says isn't so much lies as half-truths and truths that will let him steer whoever's opposite him, let's him anticipate the emotional reaction and actions, getting them where he wants them. He does a lot of lying by omission as well. And, to be fair, a lot of the time he does say the truth, because why not? He's just here to have a good time, everyone is allowed to know! And when people think you're genuine, the lies are so much harder to catch.

[bicon-crange]

Alright, let’s hear it

HI SORRY I'M LATE!!

I know this is about this post I made because I got it like. not even a day after.. so.. for context!

SO like I said, I think Dr. Horrible is actually pretty solid writing wise.

I think you could make it an actual (maybe off-broadway budget lvl) musical with a toooouch of rewrites. I think literally just removing the use of slurs (there's like, two, in the whole musical. which sucks but its also like…10+ years old) would make it really palatable for a modern day audience.

Lots of songs like A Man's Gotta Do touch on subjects waay ahead of the public discussion on them like toxic masculinity (again the movies like 14 years old), and I also think it's interesting that in THAT song in particular, the one who espouses these toxic ideals is not the super macho sterotype Captain Hammer, but the our nerdy, underdog, 'relatable' main character.

I also think that it would be greatly improved as a script if Penny didn't die at the end. Now THIS is where it gets lengthy and where I bring in the read more…

I think it would be much more interesting if Penny didn't die. I also really hate it because from the moment she dies on, she's instantly weirdly dehumanized by both the narrative and the literal lyrics, where she is refferred to as "everything you ever…" It's weird to me and I never really liked it.

I think it would be much more interesting if she wound up, as a result of the freeze ray, gaining powers and going against Dr. Horrible. Or something similar.

Now Penny, in real early 2000s girl fashion, is not written to be as in depth or 3 dimensional as the other male characters in the movie ( which is fine to me, as the movie is clearly satirical and very tongue-in-cheek, ALL the characters are more or less stereotypes ).

But what we do know about her is that she is already established to be both very altruistic and a weird parallel to Dr. Horrible.

Her first song, "Caring Hands" is her literally trying to get help for a local homeless shelter that she's dedicated to, and in her third song "Pennys Song," she explains WHY she cares about her town specifically and WHY she is so dedicated to help.

It reads to me as very superhero-y! There are lots of superheros (Spiderman,Batman, you KNOW THEM) who are very dedicated to one specific town or city because something of relevance happened to them there or there's a deep emotional connection (i.e. this need to "fix" a town). So in that way, it still works as a sort of parody of already established superhero characters.

I also think she's someone who idolizes heroism in general, as getting saved by Captain Hammer is what draws her to be interested in him in the first place.

Now, where she works as a sort of narrative foil/mirror really kicks in in the song "My Eyes", where her and Dr. Horrible sing about their completely different points of view (simplified, it's optimism v. pessimism, altruism v. anarchy) … but once in a while in this duet (which they sing on opposite ends of town)…. their words overlap!

And they both wind up saying the same word, or similar phrases, though in completely different contexts.

I think this could totally have been a set up for a fantastic dynamic where they work as dynamic opposites of each other!! Especially if Dr. Horrible stays pining for her long after she becomes a hero? Ough! The drama! The intrigue!

It especially works for me because Dr. Horrible doesn't really care for Penny? Outside of the idealized version of her he's conjured in his mind. Which we know he's been doing since the start of the movie by the way.

He KNOWS she's altruistic and he KNOWS she cares about people, and she has told him this to his FACE, but he keeps on with his antagonistic plans anyways because he thinks he's smarter than her. At his core, he thinks he's better than her and that she can't make decisions for herself.

He even says in one song that he knows she'll cry over what he's going to do but resolves to still do it. He wants power over her,essentially. He wants her the way you want a shiny new toy.

Yet he still wants to try to impress her. Her opinion means EVERYTHING to him because in his mind she's still deified.

During his big villain moment towards the end of the movie one of his ONLY concerns is her seeing him, even now worried that her opinion of him will be tainted.

He even,tellingly, in this moment- calls himself by her nickname for him to soothe himself.

TELL ME THAT DOESN'T JUST SMACK OF A CRAZY INTERESTING HERO/VILLAIN DYNAMIC!!! Especially if Penny, knowing her big heart, continues to not give up on him. But MAN is it hard.