#i get weirdly emotional about the phrase “says i”

[saurons-pr-department]

“Hector!” says Brad Pitt.

“Very Fingolfin,” says I.

[tevanbuckley]

some low points from the ry*an g*zman interview because i need you all to feel my pain.

when talking about his celibacy (yes he uses that word): "I haven't entertained any interactions with any other females" — gave me the ick 0/10

uses the phrase "a woman's touch," to explain why women are inherently good at interior decorating(?) and that this skill is how women are able to enrich a successful man's life — side note: at no point do they talk about how men enrich women’s lives.

immediately after this the religious imagery takes a left turn and exits my frame of reference, bc instead of just asking "do you think you still have things to work on?" like a normal person, the host says "I want to know what one Thorn is in your flesh." — someone raised more religious than i was needs to chime in on if this is normal christian doctrine or a sign he might be in a cult. (is it a reference to the thorns in jesus' crown?)

ryan makes a weird comment about how "you've seen civilizations built on [a man in love]" — genuinely idk what the fuck this means — but it leads into a tangent about like, men as providers and how "I would do anything for my women."

"peace is key yeah we got enough problems in the world outside the house and so long as I come back to the house and I get peace," — maybe i'm being pedantic but the way he keeps framing woman as belonging in the home is 🚩🚩🚩🚩

"for the next woman I would have in my life I can see that they navigate their their problems and still offer peace to their men." — again 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

surprisingly claims he has been to therapy, which assuming is true, idk it worked.

the host: "women may be fighting internal battles you know kind of themselves do you believe that a woman still fighting those battles are able to still bring peace" — because remember ladies, no matter what you're going through your job is to bring peace to your man's home.

there's some more brief gender essentialist bs where ryan talks about how men "like to fix things," but are bad listeners, and how "problems within women are so specific to women that I wouldn't even try and and say that I have a grasp on them."

then the host randomly asks him if he thinks men need to be financially stable before entering a relationship or if dating a broke guy is a way to "present loyalty."

weirdly ryan actually kind of dodges this question, but ends up suggesting social media is a good place to get "great examples of what does and what doesn't seem to work." in relationships — and no. no it isn't.

oh and then he starts talking about conor mcgregor for some reason? and how it's bad he disrespected his wife by stepping outside their marriage — and i mean sure, although infidelity feels second to the rape accusations??

says it's harder for a woman to come into a man's life when he's already established because "now the man has proven to himself that he never needed a woman." — which, interesting given how later he talks about how women need to stop trying to do the independent woman thing.

he also gets weirdly possessive over his daughter at one point. does the classic "God forbid I find out that man disrespects my little baby." — idk, on the surface he talks about how he wants her to know her value, but it seems like he has a pretty limited view of what that value is.

the host drops lore about how she moved out of her parents house at 14/15 and how she had to "stop thinking like a woman and start thinking also like a man," but stay feminine and "know what a man wants and how to cater to that but also still be soft." — i mean good lord, i don't even know where to start 🤢.

this btw is the preamble to ryan's rant about "independent women."

and god the more i read the more i am deeply concerned about the woman hosting (i saw someone earlier say she's 21). this woman is barely an adult and has so much internalised misogyny, talking about how "us women don't know how to direct our emotions." and "in today's generation a lot of men are deprived of even the small things because a lot of women are takers."

this whole interview is utterly bizarre and i feel like it's taken years off my life. like i said earlier, this isn't a normal podcast he got weird on, this is straight up christian propaganda

[imbecominggayer]

How To Write Cuddling

This my third part to my series where I get specific requests from people about what advice they want. Here we have @12-cluh to explain what about cuddling is getting them confused:

"Idk how to really describe what I'm going after. I'd say I'm more confused on how to describe the way the bodies are laying together? That sounds weird but you get it-"

Perfect, so our key problem is how to establish a character's positioning in the cuddling!

First: How Are These People Cuddling?

Here is some great writing advice for all manners of situations: try to physically establish where the characters are

Heck, you could draw a nice stickman cuddling session in order to get everything down.

This is mostly to prevent a type of "I gently wrapped my arms around her in an unending hug as I let my free hand grasp onto her colder fingers." situation. If you didn't notice, human character grew a third hand and certainly didn't tell me.

And obviously, reread your material out loud so your pesky brain wont perform it's own autocorrect

Next, there are tons of different cuddling positions that evoke different types of atmospheres from the sultry to the affectionate to the hilarious.

Based on what I googled, there are many different names and Shingles is the weirdest thing to name a cuddling style.

Since this cuddling is taking place between "a couple who finally get a day off. (featuring her tracing his scars! :3" I'm guess that @12-cluh is probably going for affectionate.

I probably would recommend "Sweetheart's Cradle" or "The Honeymoon Hug" if you are going for an ultra-affectionate cuddle.

If you are looking for something more casual yet still affectionate then "The Spoon" and, uhh, "Shingles" . The "Sweetheart's Cradle" could still work here but that's up to your interpretation of what Romance On The Go is talking about.

2. Actual Description

Quote: "...how to describe the way the bodies are laying together?

Obviously, it's hard for me to give specific details on how to describe the scene since it's feelings which change the world and influence how it arrives to the audience.

If this is a somber affair, based on the scar tracing, then that's obviously going to influence the atmosphere. If it's a highly affectionate get-together then that's the diction.

However, in general, you don't need proper "he laid down on her" type of weirdly phrased descriptions.

You just need to get the emotion across.

For example, "He lowers them onto the bed once again, the back of his hand brushing against her cheek. She latches onto him and refuses to let go for the rest of the night. She refuses to let go for forever, actually. She prayes that she wasn't alone. That this isn't just another dream or mistake. When the sunlight glimmers through the curtain, she will thank the gods for this blessed union."

I hoped I communicated the deep love and desperation between these characters :3 God, I am such a bad writer.

Anyway, as you can see there wasn't a lot of detail focused on where my female character was latching onto. All the detail you need is for the movements that display emotion such as the caressing

Here is a more comedic example for more proof: "What nobody told him about cuddling is how f*cking uncomfortable it was. What should've been a delicate and affectionate affair was instead a mess of limbs and sweat as his boyfriend's ability to light up his life was far more literal then he wanted. But even if his hand may never function again as this brick shithouse of a man has lovingly passed out on it, the feeling of just being together in this shitty cot makes his soul tremble in the sweetest, strangest way. "

I regret writing examples of this. I am going to get destroyed in the comments for my shitty writing ability :`(

Anyway, there is little set-up for what limbs are where and what everyone is specifically doing.

There are other things you can do to show the audience where your characters are. "Our breath mixed together". Or "I could hear his heartbeat".

And now I need to ask you "doth that satisfy thou my liege?" I tried to do this advice right since it's you and for some reason I care about you more then I should, darling.

So please give me my validation and feel free to ask me for more writing advice. I am forever at your beck and call.

[pharawee]

It's been a week already, so here I am with the third part of my Pit Babe novel commentary.

(You can find the first two parts here and here.)

First things first, though. North is an omega. Do with that information what you will. 🤡

Meanwhile, Charlie and Babe are back at it again (because of course they are) and this time they're not taking any prisoners. Poor Way is on the phone with Babe as Charlie does his best to please~ him. In various ways. Way is very confused. All he wants is for Babe to tell him which car he wants him to buy. You know, if this is Way's villain origin story then I'm not even mad.

Charlie mercifully ends the call before things can get a bit too obvious, only for Babe to pick up the phone again to make an x-rated recording of them going at it like bunnies. Keep this in mind for later.

But anyway. It's finally time for Charlie's initiation into Team X-Hunter - that is, if he manages to pass Alan's test: compete against Pit Babe himself. As if Charlie wasn't nervous enough about it already. Naturally, he loses, and he's really upset about it too - not because he failed the test but because he failed his friends. Aw. But no one really expected him to win against Babe anyway, Alan merely wanted to test his determination, and so he's welcomed as the newest member of the team. Competitive racing really is that easy, I guess.

One almost-love confession later (Babe can't quite bring himself to say it but he doesn't need to. Charlie knows.) they're back to actually teaching Charlie how to race. Since Babe is still healing from his injuries, he can only (very stylishly) watch from the sidelines as the other members of X-Hunter take over as Charlie's teachers. Today it's North's turn and remember? He's the only omega on the team. Naturally, Babe is jealous. They (dirty-)talk it out. Charlie can now smell Babe's emotions, while Babe has all but lost his heightened senses. Hm.

Later, in the locker room while Charlie is busy racing, Babe comes across Way. Or is it the other way around? It seems like Way really wants to talk to him - or rather, talk him out of being with Charlie. Something's really fishy about the way he phrases things. Manipulate, mansplain, malewife. Or something. But the thing is? For some strange reason it's working, even on someone as headstrong and stubborn as Babe (and the only reason why Babe isn't immediately giving in to Way's weirdly cruel love confession is because his heart is full of Charlie). All these moments when Way and he seemed so flirty and close? Suddenly they've become very, very creepy. Hmm.

Anyway. It's time for Charlie to pay another visit to his mysterious clients and/or family. He never really says (but we now know better). But, oh no! He's left his wallet! Luckily, he's got the world's best not-quite-boyfriend to try and catch up with him before it's too late.

And here's where things go very, very wrong.

(I'm putting the rest of this post under a cut because of major spoilers and a content warning for SA and grooming. Please take care.💜)

Because that's not a taxi Babe sees Charlie getting into. It's one of his "father's" limousines, along with some of his men. Preparing for the worst, Babe follows.

Meanwhile, Charlie is meeting up with his adopted father. Their coversation goes about as expected, with Charlie refusing to return home and bring Babe with him while he's at it, because they've indeed been adopted by the same man. Charming.

This is the moment when Babe barges into the room, thinking that he's here to save Charlie before very quickly realising the truth: that he's been manipulated and played and lied to.

I need you to realise how much of a nightmare this is for Babe. He's spent over a decade running from an adoptive father who wants to trap and abuse him, and now the only person he trusts (and loves, but we don't talk about that) has led him straight back into that trap.

So basically, Babe's sanity is slowly unravelling at the seams. He immediately takes off, with Charlie following him outside and into the rain (because of course it's raining - it's much more dramatic that way). When Charlie attempts to stop him and explain, Babe (understandably) lashes out. He punches Charlie's glasses right off his face, failing to understand why he's the one who's hurting when it's Charlie who should be feeling guilty.

Oh, and then there's this bit:

"I thought you liked racing…" Babe's voice was trembling and soft, completely different from before, "…I thought you loved me."

I barely survived reading this. I'm here for fun omegaverse shenanigans dammit!!

So, yeah, Babe returns home alone, and even though he doesn't want to, he forces himself to remember what happened with his adoptive father, because as it turns out Charlie's betrayal has the most horrifying of implications:

You see, Babe was adopted because he was an alpha with special abilities. But he wasn't the only one, there were other adopted alpha children with special abilities that Babe was never allowed to meet. Eventually, Babe learned about the existence of enigmas who stand above even alphas and are so strong (and thankfully rare) that they can turn any alpha they have sex with into omegas and impregnate them. Children from these unions have a 99% chance to be alphas with special abilities. See where this is going?

Let me spell it out for you - because clearly this isn't wtf-inducing enough: Babe is essentially the main ingredient in his adoptive father's breeding program.

But wait! It gets even worse! 🤡🤡

Babe, alone and at his lowest, deduces that Charlie must the enigma that was sent to lure him back.

And if that's true, then maybe he's already been changed from an alpha into an omega (because his heightened senses are gone, remember?). Maybe he's already pregnant.

And this is what sends Babe completely over the edge (same here, Babe, same here...) because he is positively traumatised by the thought of having children and fulfilling his adoptive father's sick wishes. He doesn't want children. The very thought makes him sick. He values his autonomy above all else. He never even has sex with omegas because he refuses to get anyone pregnant.

Only now he's about to get a pregnancy test because he was stupid enough to fall for a cute, innocent boy with glasses.

Enter Charlie who of course still knows the code to Babe's condo. Babe barricades himself in his bedroom while Charlie tells him his side of the story. How he was adopted by the same man, and how he was quite content with his life until he learned about his father's plan to get one of his other adoptive children pregnant - by force if necessary. Charlie felt sorry for this older adoptive brother but since he only knew his name - Babe - he bid his time until he heard about a racer named Pit Babe. Charlie started hanging out at the races and in turn fell in love with racing (and with Babe).

Fast forward to now, only of course Babe doesn't believe him because he must be the enigma, right?

Nope, turns out Charlie is an alpha after all, only his special ability is stealing other alphas' special abilities.

And his grand plan? To take away what makes Babe special so their adoptive father will no longer be interested in breeding (ugh...) him.

Which leaves us (and Babe) with one problem: Wtf Charlie, you don't just steal people's abilities without their consent - especially not when you claim to love them.

So yeah, their whole relationship is based on lies and manipulation, and Charlie essentially stole Babe's heightened senses by having sex with him.

Babe starts crying, Charlie starts crying, then they start having hatesex (which usually ends all their arguments). This fixes things for about five minutes until Babe starts sobbing for real. He wants Charlie to leave. He can't even stand to look at him.

And so Charlie leaves and moves in with his other adoptive brother, Jeff. We'd already established that Jeff is an omega. However, he's a special omega (because why else would he have been adopted too?).

Jeff can see the future. 🤡🤡🤡

He was incredibly valuable to their adoptive father until he probably realised what that meant for him, so one day Jeff took a stroll outside and let himself get hit by a car, claiming that this had him lose his abilities. Naturally, he was promptly discarded, but he seems to live a comfortable life protected by Charlie. He's exactly as aloof as Pon plays him in the series. I love Jeff, ok?

Meanwhile, Babe's back to his old habits, trying to chase away his thoughts of Charlie by getting it on with other alphas. Only it doesn't work. He blames their scent, of course, but he's clearly still hung up on Charlie. Drunk and miserable, he rediscovers the spicy video of Charlie and him that he recorded on his phone and promptly starts masturbating (as you do). When Charlie calls him, he picks up out of habit. Babe is angry (and horny) and Charlie is sad (and horny) so they have phone sex (and they're still really into calling each other papa and daddy - which, you know, there might be better pet names considering who's their adoptive father but ok).

Babe still doesn't want to see Charlie, and as Charlie later aptly puts it:

"Because I chose the starting point myself without asking him. So now I have to let him choose the ending he is most comfortable with."

Much, much later, the racing season picks back up again. Turns out the whole race track had to shut down for an investigation into Babe's accident. It's Charlie's first race and there's some kind of qualifying for future rounds. But, surprise! Babe will be racing too. He's too stubborn to let Charlie win the title. To the surprise of absolutely no one (except for Charlie who's worried about Babe's barely-healed injuries) Babe easily wins, with Charlie (who's overwhelmed by his new heightened senses) coming in fourth place. Plot twist (but really actually not...): Babe doesn't need to rely on his senses to win because he has years of experience to draw from.

After the race, Charlie follows Babe into the locker room. They talk it out. This somehow involves a blowjob but I'm not judging. Babe still won't forgive Charlie, saying:

"You think I love you more than I love myself?"

Which is an incredibly powerful thing to say and I hope they keep this for the series.

Later that night, Babe meets up with Way because he doesn't want to be alone. Things with him have been awkward since that day in the locker room when Way basically confessed, but for some reason Babe won't hold it against him. Way is right, after all (Hmmm.). Only, Way won't let things be and somehow, without Babe noticing, they're suddenly kissing.

And then Babe goes motionless and still as Way starts undressing him. He's stopped just in time by a very panicky Charlie. When Babe comes to he doesn't know what's going on until Charlie tells him.

Way is their adoptive brother and he can hypnotise alphas.

Because DUN DUN DUN! Way is the enigma.

To be continued. 🤡🤡🤡🤡

[eleanor-second-floret]

Is there anything you miss about being independent? Not to imply it was better or anything, just if there were... lateral differences you were fond of.

Honestly, my life as an independent was rather droll.

Get sent to some station to run tests on the patches installed. Move to whatever system was cheapest to work remotely. Prices rise, so more synthcubes and less variety. Scroll past the feralist propaganda. Try not to think about it.

I didn’t have time to engage with my hobbies. If I had time, I didn’t have the money.

I’d spend most of my time trying to either make a living, or distract from the living I had made for myself. I’d sometimes get lost in thought, wondering where things go. My family had told me to prepare. In school, prepare for university. In university, prepare to get a job. In my job, prepare to have savings and start a family. With savings (if there hadn’t been indefinite freezes on my meager investment contributions to funnel funds to the Terran Cosmic Navy), prepare to retire. Everything was putting things off to the future. Looking back, I feel like the subtext that nobody had the courage to acknowledge was all “prepare to prepare, then prepare to die”.

Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes we would finish our contract with work and my workmates and I would scrounge together a meager amount to go out for drinks. We’d laugh, cry, visit the spots where we had moments of peace to all say our tearful goodbyes and silent prayers to the respite it provided us before being shipped to a new station only to have to forge new relationships with the inhabitants, the constellations, the colleagues, the corporations, the leadership, the procedures.

You spend all your time fluttering about the stars, and eventually nowhere becomes home. Everywhere becomes home? Home becomes where you are. Home is wherever you get assigned. Home isn’t your choice, home is just a word for where you sleep. The friendships you made would cursively stretch from one phrase in life to the next, and the comfort of video chats with acquaintances from the last assignment would turn to polite, hollow niceties over instant messaging. Then, to no fault of anyone, there’s just nothing to relate over. The place is different, the schedules different, the experience different, the concerns and interests different. Physical distance bleeding into emotional distance.

When I finally was retrieved by The Affini, things changed. I didn’t go through these temporal seasons of life anymore, I had some identity. I spent a little bit of time as a ward and found myself, to use a weirdly poignant Terran idiom, setting my roots. I made relationships with the Affini and florets that I didn’t want to end. I wasn’t a weed growing in the cracks of concreted corporate brutalism, but a facet in a forest of lively activity. I didn’t have to long for some windfall to let me pursue my hobbies, the Affini loved to see me beam with enrichment as they graciously provided me with the opportunities to pursue my interests. My wardship shifted to my domestication. Mistress Aurelia had the means to take us anywhere, even if life led us to a new system - we could go back if we needed to, if we wanted to.

A lot of terrans equate domestication to a loss of humanity… truthfully, I think I lost that long before my wardship even started.

There are some things I find myself missing. Terran music. Some memory stored in some Terran internet servers from when I posted it. They aren’t missed forever though, Mistress Aurelia helps me find them. The way she grafts new flowers onto her, she helps me retrieve those lost moments and graft them back into myself, and in return I regale her and her Affini friends with the stories associated. The funny quirks my childhood cats had. The tired goofy phrases my workmates would say when crunching to finish an assignment. I had come to realize that those memories, if I had been independent, would be worthless - sharing them would’ve only been a slight remembrance of the story until eventually they fade from memory as each new assignment, batch of colleagues, cacophony of cityscape overwhelmed my memory until they no longer remained. But now, I have people to share them with, people who care about them. People who care about me.

I don’t think I have any lateral changes I miss, I feel better. I feel more me than I did aboard stations for my various assignments. I just had to discover that me was a floret, and me wasn’t just me, but Mistress Aurelia and the life she’s grown for us.

[goodluckclove]

A Meandering Insight into Writing Stronger Dialogue

So I'm taking it easy today. It's cloudy in Portland and I would like to do some drawing. But I also thought I would do a weird new thing for me and maybe offer some writing advice into the void about creating stronger dialogue.

I've said before that I am easily angered by how most writing advice is phrased. At the same time, I get that for a beginning writer, my go-to guidance of "watch movies, read books, figure it out" can be like crazy intimidating. So I'm going to try and be more flexible. It might be helpful, it might not be.

There are a ton of information available about writing stronger dialogue. I've looked at a few videos and found an amount of useful tips. Listening to the way people talk is super useful, and eavesdropping on conversations in public places (without being a creep about it) is a super great way to do that. But for the most part I came away realizing that people giving advice on stronger dialogue are, almost entirely, just crazy biased.

Even the concept of "writing stronger dialogue" is - somehow both complicated and vague. It's dependent on genre. It's dependent on the era, the laws of the universe and the whims of the narrative as a whole. I can think of many examples in which part of what makes a story stronger is the fact that the dialogue is what some would consider "weak". One of the videos I watched had a man use Tommy Wiseau's The Room, a famously incoherent cult movie, as an example of bad dialogue.

And he's absolutely right! Part of the mystique behind the film and it's director/writer/producer/lead actor is that Tommy Wiseau insists he's born and raised in the United States, despite that just. Not being possible. So when he writes a script it turns meandering, disjointed, confused and deeply melodramatic. But when this well-meaning YouTuber revised a scene to be "stronger" in terms of dialogue between the two actors, it turned The Room from longstanding classic that still has ongoing showings at arthouse movie theaters, to some mediocre indie movie with nothing that really captures attention. It's clearer and more direct. The video creator claimed it was likely what Tommy Wiseau's original intent was. I would argue Wiseau's intention also involved a sense of soap opera emotional highs and lows - a tone that is not served a bland, weirdly subdued script revision.

I think asking "how do I write stronger dialogue" is a question a writer can only answer from within. The question to ask outside parties, perhaps those with more experience in the craft, is "how do I write dialogue that works better to fulfill my goals and the goals of my story"? You might not like the way I write my own dialogue, and that's fine. But it absolutely does what I want it to do, so I'd say the second question is one I can try to answer.

Be Honest With the Reader - And With Yourself

This is not an easy thing for me to do, but I'm going to have to call out a quirk I see a lot of newer writers do. I do it with love, because it's something I did myself a lot when I was starting out. You start writing and you form a character who's really cool, but they're also smarter than you are! Or funnier! Or more charming! What do you do???

It's an easy issue to face, and every time I see it I want to sit down with the writer and tenderly say Shh stop it. Change the character, the approach to the scene, or your perspective on how you write them. Stop going the way you're going it is almost certainly not going to be interpreted the way you want it to be.

It's the worst when I see people struggle with a character they view as "funnier than them". And they might try and crowd source for tips and tricks on how to be funny. And while I can see this potentially being a jumping off point to something useful, for the most part I find myself wanting to scream HEY DONT DO THIS THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.

I'm not gatekeeping being Funny. I'm saying straight up that I truly think every human being has some sense of humor, even the ones that have been told enough by others to internalize that they "aren't funny". You are! If you have ever made yourself smile or laugh, you are funny! And more people than you think will also find you to be funny!

Humor is incredibly varied. Because of this, there is a Lot of comedy that will probably do nothing for you. You might be numb to prop comedy, for instance. So if you tried, unironically, with full sincerity, to write and perform a new prop comedy routine, it would very likely not turn out well. I personally am pretty attuned to inauthenticity in writing, and it's the easiest way for me to toss a book (or my whole TV if it's a movie or show) right out the window.

If you want to learn more about writing comedy, start with what makes you laugh. If it's something someone else wrote, maybe look into what that person says about comedy. The person who made you laugh will know more about helping you write comedy than a stranger online who might have an entirely different sense of humor.

Write What You Have a Frame of Reference For

I got told "write what you know" a lot when I was starting out. Usually by people that weren't writers, which makes sense, because that phrase is trash and it made me so angry. Because at 13, when I seriously started writing, I didn't know a ton of stuff. So feeling like I was that limited created a sense of distrust in myself that is just not helpful when you're starting out.

But if you rely on what you have a frame of reference for, things get a lot vaster, and only more expensive over time. You might not know anything about going though a divorce, or becoming an assassin, or turning into a vampire. But maybe you've had a falling out in a relationship, or you've started a new job in an industry you're unfamiliar with, or you've felt lonely and isolated and scared. If you focus on the latter, the way you connect to the circumstances on the narrative, it's way easier to craft compelling characters.

This is debatably less crucial for more experienced writers. I personally, after 10+ years in the medium, still find crucial to have some kind of investment and connection to every character I write, even if they're bad people.

If a character is smarter than you about a certain subject, don't focus directly on that. They're an expert in Quantum Biochemistry? Oh man you know anything about that. So if you aren't confident in your ability to learn and absorb enough on the field to have it be a plot-crucial element, maybe you're light on the references to that characters background and career in exchange for a greater emphasis on something that you have a better grasp on. Or you can narrow the scope - maybe your quantum biochemistry expert is a professor or a researcher, two careers that might be far more accessible. In many cases, micro is more impactful than the macro.

What you're able to do will naturally grow as you grow. And when you're starting out, you should absolutely feel welcome to be overambitious. Take risks, do something new, fuck up spectacularly and don't let that stop you. But if you're looking to improve something like dialogue, I would say it comes down the angle of the character that allows you as the writer to connect to them. Even if you don't agree with their actions. Even if you have nothing else in common with them. If you get some connection that makes the character something other than "person more interesting than I am" it becomes a LOT easier to write for them.

Also maybe don't take a majority of dialogue advice from people who exclusively engage in books and movies you hate. Don't do that. It doesn't matter they they went to film school. They will probably not help you.

[moonstruckme]

In a Week - send a character + au and I'll write a blurb for it (like vampire!Eddie, bodyguard!Sirius, etc.)

college au tasm!peter who's a photographer for the college newspaper and reader is a writer?

Thanks for requesting gorgeous!

join the party

photographer!(tasm)Peter Parker x reporter!reader ♡ 761 words

“Peter, these are gorgeous,” you breathe, leafing through the pictures he’s brought you of the protest near campus. “I mean, it’s heartbreaking, and they show that, but they’re so…just, great job.” 

Peter grins, leaning against your desk with a smile that’s half-sheepish, but you can tell he’s proud of his work. He should be. “Thanks,” he says. “Did you already write the article? This is supposed to go out tomorrow, right?” 

You bite your lip. “I did,” you admit, “but now I’m thinking I’ve got some editing to do. There’s so much emotion in these, I feel like you’ve definitely upped the bar for my writing.” You say it as if it’s a joke, but really you mean it, and Peter frowns like he can tell. 

“Your writing’s amazing, and you always kill these kinds of community-minded, emotional stories.” He nudges your chair with his knee, reprimanding. “Don’t sell yourself short. Can I read what you have?”

You hesitate. Letting someone else read your work before it’s finished always feels weirdly vulnerable, even when you’re mostly reporting on facts. You haven’t picked the exact right words yet, phrased your ideas the way that’ll convey them to readers exactly like you want, but Peter’s eyes are soft and warm in the light from your desk lamp, and he always gets what he wants out of you in the end. 

You turn your laptop toward him, letting him scroll freely. 

Peter stoops over your desk, and he nods as he reads, eyes moving quickly over the typed lines. You’re doing your best not to look like you’re watching him, but you grow uneasy when a crease appears between his eyebrows. At first it’s shallow, then not so much. 

“Wow,” Peter breathes as he finishes, looking up at you like you’ve broken his heart. Whatever you’ve done, you’re immediately sorry for it. “That was…shit, you don’t have to worry about missing the mark on emotion. The passion in that, it was incredible, sweetheart.” 

Your heart jumps from your stomach right up to your throat. Sweetheart. 

“You really think so?” you ask, then realize it sounds like you’re fishing for compliments. “I mean, you didn’t think the ending was too abrupt?” 

Peter shakes his head as he straightens, still looking somewhat awed. “No, I don’t think you should change anything. You really made me feel it, you know? It was so powerful.” 

You hope the dim light is hiding the flush you can feel coming to your cheeks. “It’s a powerful topic,” you say, taking back your laptop and skimming over the draft. “You can feel how much the protestors care, from both the interviews and the pictures.” Your finger hesitates above the trackpad. “You don’t think it felt too long, though?” 

Peter makes a scoffing sound, and you look up to find him grinning at you incredulously. “Stop,” he says, shutting your laptop for you carefully. “You know what I think? I think it’s too late to still be here. Your draft is already perfect, you should go home.” 

You frown, glancing out the window. It had gotten dark without you even really noticing. “Yeah, I guess I will,” you concede. “You should, too.” 

“I am,” he says, but doesn’t move. Neither do you, sensing that he has something more he wants to say. Peter fiddles with his backpack strap. “Hey, have you had dinner yet?”

You shake your head. “I’ve been here since just after lunch.” 

“That’s too long,” he laughs. “Would you let me take you for something to eat?”

You all but freeze, looking up at him. He’s as lovely as he always is, hair fluffy from constantly dragging his hand through it and features softened in the lamplight. Your mouth is dry, and still you swallow. “Like…like as friends, or…?” 

Peter’s smile is actually shy. “I was thinking as a date, but only if you want it to be. I don’t want to make things weird, if—”

“No,” you say quickly. “No, a date is good. I’d…I’d like that.” 

Peter grins so hugely that even his eyes get in on the action, creasing at the corners. “Yeah? Nice.” Then you grab your laptop, and those eyes narrow suspiciously. “You’re not going to keep working on that, are you?”

“At dinner? No,” you reassure him, stuffing the computer into your bag. “But after I get home, yeah. I still have some edits I want to make.” 

He exhales, and it’s half exasperation, half amusement. “You’re relentless,” he says, opening the door for you. 

“Like I said, you set a high bar.”

[evenmyhivemindisempty]

How difficult is it for the Boyds to say "I love you"? And also at what point could they say it?

Steve Murphy: Oh it’s so hard for him to get it out that first time with someone. Even if they say it first! But once he’s said it once, it’s the easiest thing in the world. I can see him getting a little addicted to saying it too, after that initial hump, to the point where he’s endearingly annoying about it!

Donald Pierce: I don’t think “I love you” is a phrase that exactly rolls off Pierce’s tongue. And unlike Steve, it doesn’t necessarily come easier once he’s said it to someone once. I’ve always HC’d that he needs to be a little out of his head to say it – he can blurt it out when he’s in pain or being fucked (or both), but in his day-to-day life? Nah. But you know, weirdly? I can see him texting “I ❤️ u” or “ily” to someone (assuming they’ve just said it first).

Cap Hatfield: He doesn’t really think to say it, but I bet once his SO tells him they love him for the first time he’ll say it back *so* easily, because he’d actually felt the same for a while, and it just hadn’t come up! He thought they knew! He’s been showing them how much he loves them all the time! I can see this tendnecy causing some hurt feelings, but I bet if his partner asked him to express his love more frequently/verbally, he’d absolutely make an effort.

Clement Mansell: You know, I bet it’s real easy for him to say it to women, but it’s a little harder to vocalize with men. He just gets a little choked up about it, it feels more impactful and therefore more fraught! (Are these his daddy issues in action? Yes.)

The Corinthian: Ugh, I’m torn on this one. I feel like the Corinthian, in general, just isn’t someone who gives himself to anyone freely, and love is kind of… contingent on being owned. It’s maybe not always a positive emotion for him either! I think he struggles to actually say “I love you”… at least with his mouth! His eyes are very vocal about it!

Eli Klaber: Pretty easy! It’s not a terribly complicated thing for Klaber, and when he feels it, he tends to say it almost unthinkingly. It’s sort of a small and delightful revelation every time!

Danny Maguire: Haha, it is next to impossible for him to say. I think he’s the least likely of all the Boyd’s to articulate that he loves someone. It’s due to a combination of factors, I bet; it’s not a phrase that was very commonplace in his house growing up, to the point he might assume it’s really just something that gets tossed around in romance movies but not real life, and he’s generally just… immature and emotionally unintelligent.

Ty Shaw: He says it so freely! To his family, to his friends, his lovers, that elderly cashier that gave him a discount on his clementines! Ex-girlfriends have accused him of being insincere, but nope, he means it every time!

Quinn McKenna: Quinn’s the kind of guy that finds it easier to say “I love you too”! Quinn doesn’t necessarily know what love is “supposed” to feel like, or when he’s expected to declare it, and he’s a lot more comfortable when someone else has already said it first.

[fullmetal-angelgrace]

oooo i love me some unreliable narrator shit!!!!! mr. martin is the one who's been giving all the new ghosts the welcome speech, so everything they told maddie about them not being able to possess people or interact with the living is all bullshit

i thought it was really weird how mr. martin kept saying that specific phrase about ghosts not being able to interact with the land of the living, the way he worded it was strange and he always got weirdly angry about it, so I'm thinking he made everyone think that they can't do anything so no one would try to leave him

from what I've gathered from the short snippets wally and charley read in mr. martin's journals, it seems like he doesn't want any of the students to "cross over" i think he has been studying them so thoroughly to find out exactly what they need to cross over - so he can avoid it all costs

he doesn't want anyone dwelling on their living life and just wants to run his little fake school where he has all the power, he's no better than the other ghosts that think they're still alive, he's doing the same thing as the marching band kids and the theater girl, clinging to something he loved from life and doing that over and over and over again - he's acting as a teacher and running school events

so even though he constantly talks about trying to get everyone to cross over, really he's just making them a part of his teaching fantasy while he distracts them from their lives so they never resolve their unfinished business and stay with him in his fantasy. he started getting angry only when he lost control of the group and the ghosts started listening and hanging out with maddie more than him, he suddenly didn't have the same power over them that he used to

i definitely think there's something else to his motivations, i doubt it's just him wanting to play teacher for eternity, we have no idea why he started the fire and what his whole deal with janet is, why did they both lie for so long? was janet just too intimidated by an authority figure to tell the truth? how much can the ghosts actually interact with the living world? is there something special about the bunker because im pretty sure maddie saw mr. martin and janet when she was alive?? and mr. martin didnt seem surprised at all when he saw maddie there and immediately knew janet was going to possess her?? and what was mr. martin's big emotional speech about wanting to protect them??? from what???? so many questions!!! i love this show!!

[dangerously-human]

The lovely @softboiledwonderland tagged me to do this fanfic writier interview - thank you, sweet friend!

How many works do you have on AO3?

119 (but it's actually a bit higher... shh, we'll see after Yuletide author reveals)

What's your total AO3 word count?

242,116 (jeez louise, since when?!)

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Woke Up in a Safe House Singing (Lockwood & Co)

One More (Grishaverse)

Those Binary Stars (Endeavour)

Here's a Safe Place to Lay Your Heart Down (Lockwood & Co)

Never Hesitate at the Threshold (Lockwood & Co)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Sometimes I'm very slow at it, whether because I'm trying to think of something interesting to say in reply, or because I'm feeling a little uncertain about what I've posted and need to give it space to breathe before I think about it again - but I really, really appreciate comments and I love the social nature of storytelling and community-building in fandom, so I do make my best effort to always reply.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Now, this is an interesting question, because while I have written some pretty angsty things here and there (I've even done non-canonical major character death), my endings are usually happy or at least hopeful. The exception is drabbles, where I'm usually capturing a single emotion/moment in time. So I'll answer this with (If You Make It Out Alive) Hold That Bloody Head Up High, which is a dream rehashing of Alina killing the Darkling, and really dives into the angst of her mixed feelings and the incredible influence he continues to wield over her even in death. Honestly, it's one of my favorites, and I'm forever bummed it didn't get the appreciation it deserves.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I do delight in a sugary-sweet fluffy ending, it must be said, so a lot of my works could qualify! I'm going to say Here's a Safe Place to Lay Your Heart Down, whether you could the ending as the post-fight dancing in the kitchen with shared earbuds, or the practically skipping home with an engagement ring.

Do you write crossovers?

I haven't to date, and I doubt I will, it's not really my jam. But who knows, an idea could surprise me.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I've gotten a few weird comments, but can't say I've ever gotten outright hate, which I appreciate!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Absolutely not.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, weirdly enough, recently. I decided to ignore it and hope it was a case of accidental convergence on extremely similar ideas and phrasing.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Never had anyone even ask. I think it would be kind of cool, although honestly the inbuilt browser auto-translate has done well enough for me in reading other people's works, so idk how necessary it would be, if that makes sense? Like obviously that's not nearly as good as a true translation, but people certainly don't have to be fluent in English to read what I write, is what I'm getting at.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, and I doubt I'd be very good at it - I'm simultaneously very possessive over my creative endeavors and not very good at speaking up for what I want (though I'm learning). It would have to be someone I really trust and already think similarly to, if I were ever going to try it.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

This is horrifyingly difficult to answer, yeesh. I'm going to say John/Aeryn from Farscape, but know that I could give dozens of answers and they'd probably all be equally true.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Nothing that I've actually started posting to AO3. Some of those may take me a lifetime to finish (*cough* Take His Hand), but finish them I will! But I do have a couple WIPs languishing in Scrivener that I'm not sure I'll ever complete. The Endeavour spy AU comes to mind, and one or two Community projects... Sometimes I just have to rework them to a smaller scale and that has to be enough, instead of capturing the entire idea I set out with.

What are your writing strengths?

Introspection, layered dialogue, symbolism, poetic language

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot (argh), transitions and actually addressing the spaces between what I find interesting or important, pacing (probably related to previous), remembering to describe things - I think my descriptions are lovely when I add them, but I rarely visualize while I write or read, so I don't tend to write for those who do

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It can work, but I think a lot of authors overdo it. I haven't done it myself (that I can remember, anyway), but my Spanish is good enough that I could if it fit the story.

Actually, wait, I lied - I definitely have, for this year's Rare Pair Exchange assignment, Lingua Franca. Little bit of messy Spanish dialogue, and technically some French, but a single phrase hardly counts.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I keep meaning to write some Broadchurch gen... Maybe one day.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Extremely difficult question to answer. Those Binary Stars is always going to be one of my greatest accomplishments, but to pick something a bit more recent, I'd say Woke Up in a Safe House Singing.

Tag, you're it (with no pressure): @itripandfallalot, @menina89, and @fairytale-lights <3

[maehwajuuuu-chu]

Traveller (Aether) Headcanons!!

(With a little drawing cause I wanted to draw him with scars from battle)

Personality/Traits Headcanon list!: Please keep in mind these are headcanons I personally have and use when I write Aether interacting with my ocs, so it's ok whether you agree or disagree, just be nice please TT

Generally soft-spoken to people he doesn't know as well -> however, this doesn't necessarily mean he is shy.

Continuing on the first point, he becomes an absolute fucking menace when you get to know him. Literally would follow you around and pester you while maintaining that very innocent smile he has

He absolutely loves dad jokes (Lumine and Paimon hates them)

Has a lisp and says some phrases weirdly cause the Teyvat language isn’t his first language -> Also applies to Aether being unable to understand certain phrases or idioms or slang

Is a fucking early ass morning bird -> Is the one who drags Paimon out of bed for like a morning run at 6am in the morning

Absolute scatter brain, Paimon is the one who actually makes sure he doesn’t lose stuff

Aether is actually pretty tone-deaf and would most likely cause a mass evacuation if he duetted with Paimon (this also applies to instruments - he's terrible at music in general)

Bottles his emotions up a lot -> cries in private and is terrible at admitting he’s struggling when he is 

Struggled with growing an attachment for Teyvat and its inhabitants for a while -> at first all he wanted to do was just find Lumine as quickly as possible and leave; he could care less for anyone else. He didn't particularly enjoy being involved in the problems of other nations and just did it in order to find information on Lumine. Yet, by learning the stories of others and gradually realising that Lumine wasn't gonna appear willingly any time soon, he would find a strange fondness for the current journey. He'd understand that slowing down and taking in the scenery + making the current people around him happy (especially Paimon) isn't necessarily burdensome to him and his progress. For it is the journey that is worth more than any type of gold, and while his sister may not be with him in this one, it is still a journey nontheless and he might as well enjoy it

Love language is cooking -> used to cook for Lumine all the time and finds a faint type of joy nestling in his chest whenever he cooks for Paimon, despite the perhaps....large amounts of ingredients required

Has ransacked every single library in existence to find information about Lumine 

Collects silly trinkets and souvenirs from every nation so he can show them to

Is quite secretly envious of other siblings he meets

Lumine when they reunite (also has a book of pressed flowers from each nation) 

Enjoys wind-gliding, largely because it is the only time he feels like he is flying again with his old wings and also are the times where he feels the most closest to Lumine  

Always reminisces about his memories of Lumine every night, so he doesn’t forget -> it's scary whenever he cannot immediately recall a certain memory

Actually gets underestimated all the time and isn't immediately recognised as the traveller all the time due to his short stature (I think this is personally hilarious LMAO)

Dislikes being mistaken as a child and will chug a drink while staring down the people who kept ordering apple juice for him

He prioritises honesty and will always attempt talking things out before resorting to fighting or underhanded methods -> doesn't apply to dangerous situations, he is able to discern what type of situation he is in most of the time

Actually has quite a bitter relationship with the Raiden Shogun

Headcanons on Appearance:

FRECKLES

A lot of scars from battle

Hair glows a little at night

He has magic tattoos of his old wings on his back and it regularly itches

Prosthetic hand -> lost his hand while fighting an abyss lector

Struggled with braiding his own hair for ages cause Lumine used to do it all the time —> cut his hair early on to make it low maintenence

Very fluffy hair and clothes have stitches from them ripping over time due to battle or wearing out -> tbh he isn't the type to concern himself much over his appearance despite Paimon's concern

Has an Inteyvat flower pinned on his scarf -> remembers Lumine whenever he sees it in the mirror -> Lumine gave him one to match when he had gifted her the flowers to put in her hair

AIGHT, that was a long list...hope y'all enjoyed reading that :) !! These are really helpful for me to think about when I have to write him for my ocs hehe (and also the fact that one of the fics I have to write is in his pov LMAO). More will probably appear in the future ngl as I work through Aether's character hehe (side-eyeing Hoyoverse as I pull apart Aether with a seam ripper and sew him back up together).

[pokemonxhyperfixation]

Touhou Headcanon 10:

So as said in a previous post, this is going to be one headcanon for each of the characters I voted for in the popularity poll, counting up from my number 1 pick.

Kogasa Tatara: We love umbrella women! Anyways, so the actual headcanon. So, Kogasa is a deeply emotional person who has a MAJOR fear of being abandoned. But, she's also a chronic people pleaser, because she's under the impression that if she doesn't please everyone in her life, she'll just be abandoned, which is her greatest fear.

Sekibanki: So to get one thing across, in my head Banki and Kogasa are dating and live together. Also, Banki does KINDA have a neck. Like, if you pass your hand through where a neck might connect to a floating head that's currently properly still her "main one", you'll feel a ghostly chill. Anyway, so the Headcanon is basically that Banki sometimes wraps her pseudo neck thing around Kogasa to help comfort her. It's a special bonding thing.

Satori Komeji: Satori is somewhere in the Asexual bubble. I know I might be phrasing this is a less than proper way, but you know what I mean (I hope). Satori is one of the flavors of Asexual, specifically one of the more sexually repulsed ones. Related, she can hear thoughts through walls to a limited degree (because I treat her mind reading as a hearing type thing because that's just how shit like that works in my head), and Okuu and Orin REALLY want to make a kid. Work isn't the only reason Satori struggles to sleep most nights...

Hong Meiling: Kinda a hard one to do since I've already posted the MAIN ONES (Meiling and Sakuya are happily maried and Orange from PC 98 is Meiling's daughter), but I'll give another. I subscribe to a weird offshoot version of the Meiling is a dragon idea people seem to like. In my head, Meiling was (and to some extent, still kinda is) a dragon, but at one point, she just kinda... stopped being a dragon. This idea came from a DEFINATELY INTENDED AND NOT AT ALL STRETCHING idea I'd heared some Poketuber say back in the day (2014-2016 I believe) as to why Gyarados wasn't a dragon type, being that some myth stated that if a Dragon is too ferocious or something that it would cease being a dragon and become a sea scerpent. I only really take the idea that Dragons can stop being dragons, and say that Meiling is a former dragon. =)

Koishi Komeji: Koishi has a weirdly high amount of friends. And they are not people you would expect. Like yeah, she's buddy buddy with Flan in my head, and yeah she's also chummy (putting it lightly) with Kokoro, but she has a LOT more friends than that. The two most funny are Wakasagihime and Kogasa. Koishi and Waka became fishing friends, and Kogasa became friends with Koishi through a mixture of their general extrovertedness and Koishi repeatedly breaking into Kogasa's house for literally no reason. (She doesn't believe in using doors.)

Yuuma Totetsu: So, when I read Touhou works, I obviously read them with certain character voices, which I at least kinda try to do in outloud reading. I mention this because Yuuma's has turned into a headcanon. I read Yuuma with... what is basically an up-pitched version of my impression of Heavy tf2, with a bit less funny in the russian accent. And my headcanon is that Yuuma just actually talks like that. Like, she doesn't know a HINT of Russian, and doesn't even know what the fuck a Russia IS, but she does have a Russian accent.

Reisen Udongein Inaba: So, I have a few for Reisen, but I'mma share my favorite, which comes in a few parts. First up, Reisen and Nazrin are friends. Don't ask how or why, they just are. Second off, Reisen has a bit of that Yuuma thing going on where she just inexplicably sounds cowboy-ish. Third, (and this one also relates to Nazrin) Reisen and Nazrin like collecting vintage stuff. This specific headcanon though is about the vintage stuff Reisen collects. To make a long story short, Reisen is an old guns gal. Like, she has a bunch of old as shit earth fire-arms in her room, and she just likes looking at 'em. Even gave one to Nazrin as a gift.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOO im also chronically online this is a safe space for the chronically online dw (i also respond at chronically online speeds sooo) but FR THE UNHOLY TRINITY LMAOO if we add Raichi it’s the four horsemen of the apocalypse (bro has never played anything other than defense though and we like. NEVER see him touch the ball basically so uh sorry bro no sexy soccer time yet)

Honestly I don’t know why more people can’t just let people exist?? Like fr just leave them alone and live your life why make it so miserable for everyone sheesh…also please those twelve year olds on tiktok can’t even tie their shoe laces nor should they be on tiktok learning “potty mouth phrases” LMAO I think they need a reality check DESPERATELY

Never apologize for writing too much Karasu.

But LMAOO OK IM GLAD HAHA so real for that I can’t do what Reo or Barou do for him like I will not be the Anri to your Ego!!! Please put your socks in the laundry!!!! But this isn’t irl so he’ll still be a squishy bear to me

LMAO REALLL side character supremacy >>> Honestly I didn’t hate the animation either although I did notice some funky scenes it wasn’t nearly as bad as everyone made it seem…I’m glad to hear that they’re putting their eightbitussy into it though

He’s so captain it’s literally insane (quick we gotta talk more about this and manifest Karasu captain for u20 World Cup) Aiku honestly a good option too (I wanna see my man in action though) if it’s Isagi I’ll lowk riot

BESIDES AN EROTIC LEFT LEG GOODBYE that made me snort as I read this

I LOVE READING THE REFERENCES LMAOOO if they fit into the story keep them coming!!! (KARASU DROWNING SHDGSHSH IM NOT READY)

Ok yeah I also kinda ballparked that amount in my mind LMAO I forgot to mention this more in my last response but the ON SALE THING >>>> I laughed it was so goofy too like she caught him red handed THE NEXT DAY like bro those were NOT on sale…$50 for advice boy you’re not slick

Chefs kiss mc written wonderfully WITHOUT the typical overly used cliches as much as I love a stupid mc sometimes it’s quite an overused trope I feel where it’s the teehee dummy reader so again, this was refreshing LOL (I always love how you give your y/ns substance as characters and like humans..?? Like they all feel like actual people and aren’t your just your average w*ttp*d UwU MCs…I mean writers have to start somewhere so maybe I should stop bashing them like this but uh)

Honestly it’s such an interesting language which is why it takes me a bit to translate/transcribe sometimes because I can’t capture the underlying meanings or emotions as well in English LMAOO (the first time I tried was the hiori light novel and finding the correct phrasing was definitely a learning curve LOL) but omg slay you’re outperforming people living in the motherland!! That’s honestly really impressive, do you get to speak it frequently?

Snuffy’s backstory is actually so sad I can’t :(( also the SONG CHOICE??? Bye. But this is why I can’t even say “no one dies in soccer anymore” man

NO FR you know it’s bad when I’m impressed by a healthy family in bllk shdshhs HAHA FAIR TRADE INDEED o7 I have chapter 2 ready it was longer than I expected but I sped up the process using dictation as I read it LMAOAO so again if you catch any typos or weird punctuation lmk LOL (when I tell you I almost died dictating this I LAUGHED and reacted like omfg and it caught me saying that and wrote it down but ANGWAYS I’m not sure anything is beating this chapter) I know I said summary earlier but I don’t think I’m capable of doing that LMAOA so this is basically just the entire chapter I just reformatted it in a kinda summary like format because I don’t wanna keep pausing to type so many quotation marks HAHAHA anyways enjoy! I’ll come back to discuss after you read it so I don’t spoil anything yet hehe

Signing off early so it doesn’t weirdly attach to the end of the LN section LOL

-Karasu anon

2-Honor Student:

In elementary school, Kenyu was an honor student. Although he was a little cowardly, he was first and foremost, a kind, hard-working kid. he always did his homework and happily greeted everyone. Got along well with his peers and never fought. He was someone that both his classmates and teachers could rely on. When it was time to choose class president, Tomoda nominated him, and everyone joined in agreeing to nominating Kenyu. But after half a year, something shocking had occurred.

Little by little Kenyu had become better friends with his seatmate Tomoda, frequently going to his house after school. Tomoda had a kind sister three years their senior. She would often give them candy and play games with them. One day, Kenyu had gone over to play with Tomoda, to be told by his older sister that he hadn’t gotten home yet and was possibly taking a detour. She told Kenyu to go ahead and wait upstairs for him, but he wondered if maybe he was meeting with other friends in the park. He wondered if he too should go to the park, but it’d be troublesome if he had assumed incorrectly. While he was lost in his thoughts, Tomoda’s sister suddenly came up to him and brushed away his bangs. His hair had always been soft, and his mom had always helped him style it, so the Tomoda’s sister had always complemented him, saying his hair made him look so handsome like a model. It wasn’t unusual for her to touch his hair, but that wasn’t all that happened that day. In addition, she kissed his forehead. His eyes widened as his brain was left short-circuiting. “Huh?”

“My beloved Kenyu, let’s play together” she had said with sparkling eyes. Kenyu could feel his heart racing. “…I’ve gotta go to the park..!” His face turned bright red and he ran out. He didn’t end up, going to the park, but instead of ran back home to his room, waiting for his racing heart to still.

“My beloved Kenyu” He had repeated her words in his mind. he didn’t really understand it all, but he was happy that she said she liked him. He was a bit embarrassed, though that she had kissed him. He thought himself, “I’m never telling anyone about this.”

The handsome class president and honor student. By the time he became a second year, he had grown taller, adding to his versatility in giving him athletic potential. as he continued growing, he came to be one of the tallest in his grade. He was fast at running, and he was always the last one left in dodgeball. Then, of course, came Sports Day. After comparing all the times in their PE Class, Kenyu’s high ranking had gotten him chosen for the relay race. Everyone was in agreement. He was tall, fast and the perfect fit for the job. He was to be the anchor for the relay race. Was it really all right for him to play such an important role? he felt a bit uneasy, but he would give his best once again for the people relying on him. Until the day of the sports festival, Kenyu would run every day. He’d wake up early to run and practice dashes on the field after school. Every Sunday, he’d have his father time him. Finally, it was time for the class relay. Under the clear sky, the fastest runners would compete while the cheer squads cheered them on. Kenyu’s class, 2-1, however, would compete in vain. After each grouping, members of his team would slip down the ranks. By the time Kenyu got the baton he was in last place. There is a huge gap between him and the top, all the people running in front of him are the fastest in their class after all. But Kenyu had to try his best. Everyone had chosen him as anchor after all. He steadily started accelerating, passing by another player in just a quick moment. With his large physique moving vigorously and his feet firmly stomping against the ground, he gradually closed the gap between the other runners. His classmates all cheered for him, and as they continued supporting him, he continued gaining speed. Even the announcer from the broadcasting club got caught up in the excitement. With the loud cheers under the blue sky, Kenyu passed the final goal, bursting past the four other racers and finishing first. It’s the first time he’d ever run so fiercely. His chest heaved as he caught his breath. Kenyu had finished first for the sixth graders. His classmates had showered him with praise, wearing a big smiles on their faces as they crowded around him. Kenyu thanked them for their support, feeling that their cheers had powered him on. Kenyu was honest and sincere. He didn’t know he could run that fast. It’s because everyone had believed in him that he was able to discover a new part of him. To Kenyu, it was an incredibly joyous moment. A few days after that, when he got home, a shiny soccer ball was waiting for him in the doorway. Kenyu was surprised and had wondered what it was for. His parents had thought it would be good for him to give soccer a try, seeing how he was so fast. It would make him more popular too. After seeing that their child had such amazing speed they suggested that he try out a sport and bought him a soccer ball. Of course his mother also wanted to see him popular. Immediately, Kenyu went outside and tried kicking the ball. As he ran with the ball, he found that he couldn’t stop. He’d kick it forward and chase after it continuing on. “This is fun!”, he thought to himself. In all honesty, being able to dribble without losing speed is a technique that’s difficult for beginners, but Kenyu, blessed with incredible athletic ability, was able to do it from the start. That’s how Kenyu “met” soccer, his parents had blessed him with the opportunity. As if it was fate, Kenyu found himself absorbed in soccer.

i wonder what sexy soccer even is 😭 like what does it entail yk…HAHA chronically only gang rise 🤩 tumblr truly is the site for people of our kind i love it

the craziest to me is when they freak out about non-teenagers watching shows and writing fics meanwhile they are openly thirsting for old ass characters?? why are you at fourteen writing paragraphs abt every position you want to fuck toji and nanami in 😭😭😭 look i’m not going to judge too harshly because wtvr i get it but also like some of them need to realize that those in glass houses should not be throwing stones

the karasu tabito tag is basically mine atp DJSKDK i think every karasu fan has probably seen at LEAST one or two of my posts (whether it’s a fic or just one of my karasu shitposts)

EXACTLYYYY YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME BEING AN ANRI there’s only room for one high maintenance person per relationship and that role is fulfilled by me 👆🏻 that’s why my other favs are karasu barou and reo…you know those kings are NOT letting their partners suffer 😫 however in fiction nagi is my squishy cuddly fluffy dog bf so he is still number one in my heart 😩

if it’s isagi i’ll be mad because he doesn’t even feel like he has any interest in being captain 😓 i think aiku could work but agreed we def have to see more of him plus i don’t think he’d be made captain as he’s not an og blue locker yk?? OMG but if the trend continues we should be able to manifest karasu as captain…holding a prayer circle now 🕯️🕯️🕯️ (lowkey it would be funny if ego made like kurona or niko captain just because they’re the only ones that aren’t batshit insane and typically keep their speeches and vocab relatively normal 😭)

the way eita didn’t think she’d check if they were actually on sale too is so funny like she’s been dying to go there did you think she wouldn’t go and ask if the sale was still going on?! SO not slick omg i love him though…but $50 FJKSKS idek where he got that type of money from

i do enjoy writing a good old dumb/oblivious reader every now and again but i do think they have to be done right to feel believable!! personally all of my y/ns and mcs are based off of aspects of my own personality — some closer to my actual self than others ofc — which i think makes it easier to flesh them out because it’s just like “okay what would i do in that situation” LMAOO most of my side character ocs are based off of people i know too which again makes it easier to make them feel complex because it’s like “right so how would ___ react to that happening to them”…sometimes they end up not even being that similar (tullia in pomegranate ink is NOTHING like my irl best friend that she’s “based off of”) but just thinking of them as real people helps me treat them as such in the narrative!!

haha yes everyone does start somewhere so i never try to hate to their faces but i think it’s okay to acknowledge a general trend/pattern!! like there’s a difference between saying “your specific fic sucks i hate how you wrote your main character” versus being like “i think a lot of fics in x fandom have this problem with characterization”!! to me it’s not hate because people can decide whether that applies to them or not yk?? and yeah the wattpad uwu mcs are truly smth…or the ones that are meant to be “badass” but are really just loud/rude/make overly sexual jokes and swear a lot 😭 a lot of the times at first it’s easy to make characters as stereotypes/caricatures of themselves or have them composed of cliches but i do think most people grow out of it i quickly!! just a phase we must all go through i suppose…i will be the first to say i was cringe when i started writing that’s why half of my old works are private now 😩

HAHA OUTPERFORMING INDEED it’s so funny whenever i visit india my relatives tell me it looks like my voice is being dubbed over because i speak such good hindi but i’m very pale by indian standards so i look like a foreigner 😭 which omg ik that’s such a stereotypical thing to be saying like “no i don’t look like my race” when you very obviously do but just this last january i visited india for the first time in six years and people IN INDIA (including literally people i’m related to) thought i was either irani, afghani, or from spain 😓 they’d get jumpscared when i’d speak to them in hindi KSDJKSAN their lives would flash before their eyes as they tried to remember if they had talked shit abt me 😩 i speak it a bit at home and with all of my extended family that’s kind of the only language they know so when i call them i speak it!! i also just have a really really good memory (hence the lack of studying) so i don’t forget things which helps me pick up languages rlly quickly

SNUFFY’S BACKSTORY KILLS ME it’s so sad yet also realistic??? like it really feels like smth that could’ve happened irl yk (idk if it’s based off of smth or not) but on the other hand yuki’s is so normal i love it 😍 the fact that he got into soccer in such an average and chill way too LMAOAOAO my unproblematic goat!! although the sister thing is so funny…i’m assuming this is a different friend’s older sister than the one he fell in love with at age 10 because according to egoist bible she was 16 😭 and this girl is only three years older than him so they must be diff?? lowkey crazy as hell omg even in elementary school yuki was pulling 😰 i always interpreted those two facts (his first love was his friend’s 16 year old sister and his first confession was when his friend’s sister kissed him on the forehead) as being abt the same person and it being like the 16 year old sister was just kissing him because he was a cute little kid and he misinterpreted it/got embarrassed because he had a crush on her if that makes sense?? but ig they’re different people entirely!!

[billveusay]

I watched Gundam: The Origin and...

This will probably be my hottest take since Zeta, but I didn't find the Origin very good, although for very different reasons. I had more fun with it than with Zeta, but mostly at its expense.

Tldr, I'd consider it the Solo: A Star Wars Story of Gundam. It's a prequel with no surprises, that doesn't deepen the character of Char or shows how he grew into the one we know, because everything he does is stuff he does in the original, and he basically starts off as a three feet tall version of his adult self. It's a checklist of everything he's iconic for that will make the viewers go DiCaprio at the screen. So of course he rides a horse at some point, of course he has a swordfight, of course he betrays someone and sends them to their explodey death (twice) and of course he has raging homoerotic tension with Garma.

It does have the advantage of spanning the whole life of Char pre-0079, as opposed to Solo condensing every bit of backstory that Han had into a few days in-universe, but it still feels like the plot is pulled into the DiCaprio events rather than moving organically towards them. Even the events that obviously had to be shown, like him becoming a pilot, are treated like an inevitability by the characters, especially Char. And they're always pretty much the first thing that comes to mind when you imagine how those events went down. Though, I was exaggerating when I said that the show held no surprise but... I'll get to it.

Character wise at least, Most of them are about how you'd expect them to be and don't move much from their depiction in MSG. Which is interesting for some of them, like Degwin. He was a strange character in the original, a reluctant leader who seems to genuinely want peace and cares deeply about his family, but whose defining act was murdering his closest ally to reach power. There was some depth to him that the show only hinted at, maybe because it was cut down from 50 to 43 episodes. And in The Origin... he remains in that weird limbo. There could be hints that he did it to avoid the revolution that Zeon Zum Deikun was building, but it's not made clear and incoherent with other elements of the story.

There are also elements of fan service that I feel we could have done without. Not talking about booby shots (although there's that weird and gratuitous scene of Kycilia going full frontal) but say, the cameos of Mirai and Amuro at the start. One of them almost crossing paths with Char and Sayla would only have pushed the credibility a tad but both of them in the same episode... And, apparently Char worked at the construction of Jaburo. So he must know where it is, right? Because Zeon not knowing the location of Jaburo is a big plot point in the original.

It's also weirdly cartoony. And while I like a story with emotional range, whose light and funny moments make the serious ones hit harder by contrast (original MSG actually did it quite well), here it often felt detrimental to the story and tonally dissonant. The most jarring moment probably being the one where Char... gives one of the Garma bullies the death stare, causing him to have an instantaneous nervous breakdown. He then flicks him, sending him flying ten meters backwards. And they put a lot of emphasis on it, showing how he crashed into a stone thingy and actually broke it, so it actually feels diegetic. Very weird.

But I can't say I didn't enjoy watching it for the most part. The third episode was my favourite, with a pretty gripping battle at the end. I wish we saw more jetpack soldiers vs mobile suits. That would turn it into Titanfall but... actually, I don't know why I phrased it like it's a bad thing. More of that please. It was also nice to see Ramba Ral be badass, and some characters did have a bit of depth added to them like Hamon and Amuro. Him studying the Gundam in an effort to understand his father both added to his character and made the fact he instantly knew how to pilot it more plausible. So, nice job on that front.

However, there's one thing I won't tolerate, and that's doing my boy Kai Shidan dirty. Yes, he started off as a little piece of shit, but more specifically he was a and misanthropic cowardly cynic. Here, he's the leader of a group of small punks who does reckless and dangerous stuff. That's the opposite kind of turd! And this is not okay!

Overall, all of that would have made what I'd consider to be the most average Gundam thing I've seen, meeting expectations without further ambition. But on top of that... it's also recurrently very stupid.

Episode 1: "Ok, we need to get these two children from the tower to the airport so we can sneak them into a ship. So we will... drive them in a fucking artillery killdozer through the streets, probably killing dozens of civilians. Truly I am a master spy"

I know the Guntank was probably here for the intimidation factor in order to get the two children. But once you had them couldn't you, I don't know, put them in a car?

Episode 2: "Okay, I have the location of the children and am gonna send a bunch of assassins to take care of them. I will have five to six goons with guns storm the house, but the assassination part will be done by... a guy in a full medieval armour with a sword"

Don't you give me the excuse that it was trying to pass as a decorative armour and be sneaky. Because again, they stormed the house with a bunch of guys armed with machine guns.

At that point, I started having fun wondering what the story would pull next:

"Episode 3: Gihren sends a bunch of Zaku prototypes to the Texas colony to assassinate Char and Sayla, and they paint them black and white to make them pass for grazing cows."

"Episode 4: Char takes revenge by stealing 760 millions spray cans and covers the mirrors of Side 3 with paint so the Zabi family freezes to death."

And while we sadly didn't get either, there were still a few moments that made me raise an eyebrow or two.

"Hey, I'm a customs official and some guy tried to smuggle a gun through his luggage at the spaceport. I argued with him for a while, then his friend, who looks like him to an uncanny degree, pulled him aside and asked me to excuse them for five minutes. Then they came back and the first guy told me that he was actually ok with delaying his departure. And he had a much deeper voice all of a sudden. I see nothing suspicious about this."

On that note, making the real Char Aznable a total lookalike of Casval, on top of being an extremely convenient coincidence, was really not needed. They could simply rewrite that switcheroo scene a bit.

There's also the very stupid ship accident (even though it was the point, to show that the federation had become so arrogant they refused to make way even when faced with immediate collision, it still made it feel like everyone is this universe is an idiot). Or the fact that the escape pod for general Revil is the only one painted with a very conspicuous red, making it an immediately identifiable prime target.

So all in all, when it's not entirely predictable, it's stupid in pretty bonkers way. Which makes it all the more surprising that in the middle of it all, there's one of the most effective scene in the whole franchise. It's five minutes long, it doesn't feature any main character, and it doesn't affect the plot whatsoever, but it's spectacularly harrowing. The colony gassing scene.

The young man stumbling towards the bunker door, hallucinating and falling into unconsciousness, meekly begging to be let in and not to be left alone. And then the panning shot over the interior of the bunker, completely dark and silent. Everyone inside is dead. Holy crap. I'll move on to the visuals before it makes me too sad.

So, the 2D animation is excellent, and while I'm not a fan of the more cartoony aspects, you can tell the animators had a blast. They also did a really good job modernizing the original art style. As for the 3D mobile suits... personally, I'm really not a fan. The beautiful drawings and animation of the mobile suits are a big part of my enjoyment of this franchise (I am watching 00 right now so boy am I spoiled on that front) and 3D animation doesn't hit the same dopamine generators. It's also often quite jarring, like the 2D and 3D elements are not from the same diegesis. However, it at least provides them with more freedom in the directing and cinematography of the fights. And if it had to be in a show, at least it's one where I wasn't invested in the story anyway, so it didn't feel like a missed opportunity.

Okay, done. Because it's quite a hot take, it doesn't hurt to remind everyone that this review is just me explaining why I didn't like it, and not what I consider to be the objective truth. I won't call The Origin overrated, I don't think that anyone who enjoyed it or found it good was wrong, I don't value my opinion that highly and am very happy for you of you had a better time.

And at least, next time we go back to something I genuinely really liked. Because it's Turn A's tuuuuuurn, Turn A's tuuuuuurn, Tuuuuurn AAAAAA... 🎶

My gundam reviews :

> Hathaway's Spark > Mobile Suit Gundam > Gundam Zeta > 0083: Stardust Memory > 0080: War in the Pocket > 8th MS Team > The Witch from Mercury > Gundam Thunderbolt > The Origin

[alastair-1205]

Episode 12 reactions

Euphrasia!! She’s living her best life

Does this imply Geo just fucked off back to TLOLT lmao????

BUT ALSO I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS COMPETING AND NOT JUST WATCHING

TOX!!

INVIS GUY!!!

Omg is Skylor here, plz say she is-

Beatrix >:(

Also with the tea leaves…

Oh the tiny rock bastards again

Just take the title girl, you’re the red ninja now

Lmao that is not gonna do jack shit I’m sorry to say

Oh fuck youuuuuu rock dude 

DO YOU NYA? DO YOU? Someone let this girl fucking emote I stg

KAI :D

God the design of superhell is really cool actually

Well don’t yell again!!!

I don’t think Frag exists ngl. Actually nah maybe he does. I’m still deciding. That’s just such a weirdly pointed thing to say lmao

Arin :(

Jiro Did Not balance that bowl the whole way there-

ZANE :D

He can do the thing now too!!

Also Master Lloyd being good at his job!! He knows what he’s talking about!!

WHERE TF IS COLE MAN? IS HE WITH GEO? HE BETTER BE WITH HIS HUSBAND

Zane’s sassy little stance lmao

YEA ITS LLOYDS TIME TO STEP TF UP

Aw Zane tried to help lol

ZANES SO PROUD OF HIM LOOK AT HIS FACE AW

Did he not already have the title of Master since like. Season 7? I know he was never acting as it, but he’s been training for this for at least a decade right?

But the again it’s Lloyd even if that’s the case he’d still think he’s not ready lmao

I love all the Lloyd and Zane content. It’s very sweet 

HE CARES SO MUCH MAN

Oh god he’s being set up to hate himself when this all goes to shit isn’t he. That phrasing man…

Ah so that’s what that screen caps from lmao

Oh hi Cole

Stfu Lloyd I stg-

HE TRUSTS ARIN 

Cool outfits!! Even Sora’s kinda matches!

“My dude-“ LMAO

I was gonna ask why they never got invites in the past but ig this was just going on in another realm before? 

Yo shes new. 

Robot murder

Shit where Did Arin go-

Yoooooo Roby!

LMAO HE JUST INSTANTLY STARTED FLIRTING 

BOOOOOOOOO THATS THE FUSHIA NINJA U POSER LMAO

Oh god he’s a content creator 

This getting leaked during the olympics is kinda hilarious 

OH GOD THE COPS GOT HIM LMAO

Oh yo Frack (Frag?) is real!

[emotionally-charged-arson]

A Very, Very Unfinished Pile of Theory of Everything Headcanons (Ayreon)

Last semester, my English final was a presentation relating the overall theme of the Forever saga to that of the more popular works of H.G. Wells. Details of that argument aside, the thesis was that Ayreon’s emotional core was the presence of small-scale acts of love juxtaposed against large-scale existential tragedy, balanced in their individual power. That we are messy and self-destructive, and in the grand scheme of things we mean very little in the universe, but we are resilient and alive and human and that has to be worth something.

I really like this aspect of the main story, and it got me a perfect score on that assignment. It had a ten minute time limit and I was fighting for my life to stay under it. While I was downsizing the script, I couldn’t help but think of an earlier idea I had drafted about how The Theory of Everything on its own was a really incredible example of the mad scientist archetype turned completely on its head (it was a science-fiction analysis class). Specifically how that script was almost three times longer than the original H.G. Wells one, that took me a solid twenty minutes to read aloud. 

I literally wrote an hour long lecture about The Theory of Everything. No headcanons. No extra theories. Literally just picking apart its canon plot. 

I think this is why I have so little extra writing for it. The story as its given is airtight and just…fucking incredible. Arjen wrote it with a very clear theme in mind like he did with Transitus, but TToE isn’t missing half of its story because he couldn’t pull in the cash to make a movie out of it. You can feel the intention behind every single character, they feel like real people, it has so many layers to it and it is literally, objectively, the greatest prog album ever made. Fight me. 

But anyways: For lack of better phrasing, there isn’t much to “fix” in that sense. Almost all the headcanons I have for The Source or Transitus boil down to a few things:

I was being self-indulgent with a favorite character and it snowballed into a genuinely informative trait/subplot that informs the main story (a certain hc I have where Henry just fucking shoots Daniel in the back by mistake sometime between Two Worlds and Talk of the Town, turning into this weirdly effective commentary of how Daniel is conditioned to his brother’s shitty behavior and Abby hauling ass to get him out of that headspace)

I am curious about aspects of an album’s worldbuilding and get a little excited while filling in the blanks that were perfectly fine being left alone (doing mental gymnastics trying to build a version of The Source where these five academics, three politicians, two religious figures, one robot and one random spaceman viably know each other)

The rarer option that I am genuinely disappointed by how a part of the story was handled and completely ignore this small part of canon to make the overall story be more effective. Or attempt it, at least (Lavinia’s entire character undermining Transitus’ themes and her contradicting her own motivations, and me, in turn, just writing her character from scratch while keeping with the basic story beats [her seeing ghosts, doing shady shit with Henry, etc.])

But with TToE I’ve felt very little need to do any of these. If I were to really dive into it with intention I think I would start building off of the whole bank robbery plot in Phase III (just a slightly weirdly framed plot point for me), but I haven’t thought about it. It’s not that glaring of an issue and there’s few other places in the story where I think adding anything would make it more effective. 

This isn’t to say that Transitus and The Source are objectively worse in any sense, but they leave a lot more up to interpretation, allowing me to write so many add ons that they become structured and essential to each other’s function. 

It’s fun with those two albums. With TToE I really have to look for cracks to fill and it’s kind of useless. 

Not entirely, though. I’ve got a few hcs, and maybe they’ll warrant dozens of google doc pages of context one day like the other two albums: 

Two central things sparked curiosity. Setting, and how the parent characters came to hate each other that much. Naturally. 

This started four-ish years ago when I was pacing around my parents’ house with TToE on the mind (as it often is), and my brother put on this show called His Dark Materials. I watched the intro to it all of one time and just…knew this was the aesthetic TToE should have.🔗 At least combined with dark academia. It’s an album about physics and ghosts, that seems reasonable enough. 

…funnily enough, as I later found out, His Dark Materials itself has a very dark-academia-esque vibe, and the plot is entirely based upon the intersectionality between science and mysticism and trivial human attempts to make sense of it. 

So. Pretty fitting. 

This really stuck with me, and a handful of the characteristics of the show and books became the basis for the way I picture The Theory of Everything. Mainly the visual aesthetic, like I said, but also the fact that the story starts at a parallel version of Oxford University. I don’t have some giant case study for this like with Transitus/New England. I just think it’d be a cool and vibey setting. Maybe it’s the American in me but there’s something about a thousand-year-old college with a campus made of literal goddamn castles that borders on the fantastic. 

From there, you have a decent excuse for The Prodigy to run off to Ireland, where you can choose from one of like 200 different pretty little isolated lighthouses for him to lose his mind in, far enough away for him not to be found as long as he did. Not to mention it lowkey matches with the overt Celtic influence of the music. Or Scotland, if you want some weather symbolism from the North Sea. 

Solid setting, if I say so myself, and it actually influenced the family’s whole situation. Here, The Father (Mike) is a physics professor at Oxford, and The Mother (Cristina) is the director of the Bodleian Library. It’s how and where they meet in 1991 (though the mother is in an attendant position at the time), as shown by the only part of this I have drawn out:

They hit it off, and marry in 1993. Their first and only child is born two years later and they love him half to death. Everything is more or less nice and normal. 

In 1996, Mike stumbles into “proof,” more or less, of the theory of everything being a singular, solvable equation through his work, practically by accident, and begins focused work on it with enthusiastic support from his wife. Life is going great, Cristina is promoted and the two are balancing things well enough. 

The boy shows little to no social development into his toddler years, but his parents don’t think much of it. His father was similar at his age; they’re not worried. They even go as far to say he’ll turn out just as ambitious and smart as his dad and relatives, coworkers and family friends go along with it, setting insanely high expectations for this literal three year old. Mike keeps working on his theory. 

The boy enters preschool at age four; still no improvement. Just isolates himself and draws indiscernible patterns on everything you put in front of him. His parents finally try to intervene to some degree, hiring private instructors and talking with some other psych/child development people they know through the university, to no avail. Nothing changes. He just stares off into space, doesn’t interact with any of them and supposedly doesn’t pay attention to lessons. He still isn’t speaking. Cristina is finally concerned

Around the same time, Mike makes a significant breakthrough in his work, gaining worldwide attention. He receives massive grants from in and outside of Oxford to continue his work, and quits his teaching job to make more time for the endeavor. Cristina is left as the family’s sole provider. She understands and is in agreement on that decision, that’s not the problem yet. The problem is that Mike is becoming more or less indifferent to their son hits five, not seeing any previously projected greatness he was supposed to have in his father’s footsteps. Cristina, much more conscious of balance in her life and how having kids works, isn’t sure what to make of that. Their relationship starts to strain. 

From there, as Mike keeps working, Cristina takes the kid to all sorts of specialists around England but none of them can pinpoint what’s “wrong” with him. She tries much more actively to connect with him like they’re telling her to (though she still enrolls him in the university’s affiliated primary school program, against their suggestions), bringing him everywhere. Buys him little memory games since that’s all that seems to hold his attention. She’s past any belief of him being some secret genius like his dad, not that her opinion of her husband is super positive at this point anyway. She’s just dead-set on her son having some sense of normal in his life. 

By 2002, Mike has completely secluded himself and works nearly constantly. He has made no progress on his theory since 1999 and the fame garnered from his breakthrough has faded. The family is running out of money and Cristina is exhausted. The boy is ostracized at school and still (almost) totally nonverbal. Her coworkers keep suggesting these weird holistic remedies that she refuses. She knows better than to fall for all that new age, pyramid scheme bullshit. 

The son’s condition, whatever it is, worsens until mom, desperate, puts her foot down in 2008 (or “gives up,” if you wanna put it like that) and drags her husband and son to this private practice in Scotland she was told about by a friend, suspicious but ready to put up with anything at this point. 

😐👍