#i actually really liked babe and charlie talking it out after the big reveal

[pharawee]

It's been a week already, so here I am with the third part of my Pit Babe novel commentary.

(You can find the first two parts here and here.)

First things first, though. North is an omega. Do with that information what you will. 🤡

Meanwhile, Charlie and Babe are back at it again (because of course they are) and this time they're not taking any prisoners. Poor Way is on the phone with Babe as Charlie does his best to please~ him. In various ways. Way is very confused. All he wants is for Babe to tell him which car he wants him to buy. You know, if this is Way's villain origin story then I'm not even mad.

Charlie mercifully ends the call before things can get a bit too obvious, only for Babe to pick up the phone again to make an x-rated recording of them going at it like bunnies. Keep this in mind for later.

But anyway. It's finally time for Charlie's initiation into Team X-Hunter - that is, if he manages to pass Alan's test: compete against Pit Babe himself. As if Charlie wasn't nervous enough about it already. Naturally, he loses, and he's really upset about it too - not because he failed the test but because he failed his friends. Aw. But no one really expected him to win against Babe anyway, Alan merely wanted to test his determination, and so he's welcomed as the newest member of the team. Competitive racing really is that easy, I guess.

One almost-love confession later (Babe can't quite bring himself to say it but he doesn't need to. Charlie knows.) they're back to actually teaching Charlie how to race. Since Babe is still healing from his injuries, he can only (very stylishly) watch from the sidelines as the other members of X-Hunter take over as Charlie's teachers. Today it's North's turn and remember? He's the only omega on the team. Naturally, Babe is jealous. They (dirty-)talk it out. Charlie can now smell Babe's emotions, while Babe has all but lost his heightened senses. Hm.

Later, in the locker room while Charlie is busy racing, Babe comes across Way. Or is it the other way around? It seems like Way really wants to talk to him - or rather, talk him out of being with Charlie. Something's really fishy about the way he phrases things. Manipulate, mansplain, malewife. Or something. But the thing is? For some strange reason it's working, even on someone as headstrong and stubborn as Babe (and the only reason why Babe isn't immediately giving in to Way's weirdly cruel love confession is because his heart is full of Charlie). All these moments when Way and he seemed so flirty and close? Suddenly they've become very, very creepy. Hmm.

Anyway. It's time for Charlie to pay another visit to his mysterious clients and/or family. He never really says (but we now know better). But, oh no! He's left his wallet! Luckily, he's got the world's best not-quite-boyfriend to try and catch up with him before it's too late.

And here's where things go very, very wrong.

(I'm putting the rest of this post under a cut because of major spoilers and a content warning for SA and grooming. Please take care.💜)

Because that's not a taxi Babe sees Charlie getting into. It's one of his "father's" limousines, along with some of his men. Preparing for the worst, Babe follows.

Meanwhile, Charlie is meeting up with his adopted father. Their coversation goes about as expected, with Charlie refusing to return home and bring Babe with him while he's at it, because they've indeed been adopted by the same man. Charming.

This is the moment when Babe barges into the room, thinking that he's here to save Charlie before very quickly realising the truth: that he's been manipulated and played and lied to.

I need you to realise how much of a nightmare this is for Babe. He's spent over a decade running from an adoptive father who wants to trap and abuse him, and now the only person he trusts (and loves, but we don't talk about that) has led him straight back into that trap.

So basically, Babe's sanity is slowly unravelling at the seams. He immediately takes off, with Charlie following him outside and into the rain (because of course it's raining - it's much more dramatic that way). When Charlie attempts to stop him and explain, Babe (understandably) lashes out. He punches Charlie's glasses right off his face, failing to understand why he's the one who's hurting when it's Charlie who should be feeling guilty.

Oh, and then there's this bit:

"I thought you liked racing…" Babe's voice was trembling and soft, completely different from before, "…I thought you loved me."

I barely survived reading this. I'm here for fun omegaverse shenanigans dammit!!

So, yeah, Babe returns home alone, and even though he doesn't want to, he forces himself to remember what happened with his adoptive father, because as it turns out Charlie's betrayal has the most horrifying of implications:

You see, Babe was adopted because he was an alpha with special abilities. But he wasn't the only one, there were other adopted alpha children with special abilities that Babe was never allowed to meet. Eventually, Babe learned about the existence of enigmas who stand above even alphas and are so strong (and thankfully rare) that they can turn any alpha they have sex with into omegas and impregnate them. Children from these unions have a 99% chance to be alphas with special abilities. See where this is going?

Let me spell it out for you - because clearly this isn't wtf-inducing enough: Babe is essentially the main ingredient in his adoptive father's breeding program.

But wait! It gets even worse! 🤡🤡

Babe, alone and at his lowest, deduces that Charlie must the enigma that was sent to lure him back.

And if that's true, then maybe he's already been changed from an alpha into an omega (because his heightened senses are gone, remember?). Maybe he's already pregnant.

And this is what sends Babe completely over the edge (same here, Babe, same here...) because he is positively traumatised by the thought of having children and fulfilling his adoptive father's sick wishes. He doesn't want children. The very thought makes him sick. He values his autonomy above all else. He never even has sex with omegas because he refuses to get anyone pregnant.

Only now he's about to get a pregnancy test because he was stupid enough to fall for a cute, innocent boy with glasses.

Enter Charlie who of course still knows the code to Babe's condo. Babe barricades himself in his bedroom while Charlie tells him his side of the story. How he was adopted by the same man, and how he was quite content with his life until he learned about his father's plan to get one of his other adoptive children pregnant - by force if necessary. Charlie felt sorry for this older adoptive brother but since he only knew his name - Babe - he bid his time until he heard about a racer named Pit Babe. Charlie started hanging out at the races and in turn fell in love with racing (and with Babe).

Fast forward to now, only of course Babe doesn't believe him because he must be the enigma, right?

Nope, turns out Charlie is an alpha after all, only his special ability is stealing other alphas' special abilities.

And his grand plan? To take away what makes Babe special so their adoptive father will no longer be interested in breeding (ugh...) him.

Which leaves us (and Babe) with one problem: Wtf Charlie, you don't just steal people's abilities without their consent - especially not when you claim to love them.

So yeah, their whole relationship is based on lies and manipulation, and Charlie essentially stole Babe's heightened senses by having sex with him.

Babe starts crying, Charlie starts crying, then they start having hatesex (which usually ends all their arguments). This fixes things for about five minutes until Babe starts sobbing for real. He wants Charlie to leave. He can't even stand to look at him.

And so Charlie leaves and moves in with his other adoptive brother, Jeff. We'd already established that Jeff is an omega. However, he's a special omega (because why else would he have been adopted too?).

Jeff can see the future. 🤡🤡🤡

He was incredibly valuable to their adoptive father until he probably realised what that meant for him, so one day Jeff took a stroll outside and let himself get hit by a car, claiming that this had him lose his abilities. Naturally, he was promptly discarded, but he seems to live a comfortable life protected by Charlie. He's exactly as aloof as Pon plays him in the series. I love Jeff, ok?

Meanwhile, Babe's back to his old habits, trying to chase away his thoughts of Charlie by getting it on with other alphas. Only it doesn't work. He blames their scent, of course, but he's clearly still hung up on Charlie. Drunk and miserable, he rediscovers the spicy video of Charlie and him that he recorded on his phone and promptly starts masturbating (as you do). When Charlie calls him, he picks up out of habit. Babe is angry (and horny) and Charlie is sad (and horny) so they have phone sex (and they're still really into calling each other papa and daddy - which, you know, there might be better pet names considering who's their adoptive father but ok).

Babe still doesn't want to see Charlie, and as Charlie later aptly puts it:

"Because I chose the starting point myself without asking him. So now I have to let him choose the ending he is most comfortable with."

Much, much later, the racing season picks back up again. Turns out the whole race track had to shut down for an investigation into Babe's accident. It's Charlie's first race and there's some kind of qualifying for future rounds. But, surprise! Babe will be racing too. He's too stubborn to let Charlie win the title. To the surprise of absolutely no one (except for Charlie who's worried about Babe's barely-healed injuries) Babe easily wins, with Charlie (who's overwhelmed by his new heightened senses) coming in fourth place. Plot twist (but really actually not...): Babe doesn't need to rely on his senses to win because he has years of experience to draw from.

After the race, Charlie follows Babe into the locker room. They talk it out. This somehow involves a blowjob but I'm not judging. Babe still won't forgive Charlie, saying:

"You think I love you more than I love myself?"

Which is an incredibly powerful thing to say and I hope they keep this for the series.

Later that night, Babe meets up with Way because he doesn't want to be alone. Things with him have been awkward since that day in the locker room when Way basically confessed, but for some reason Babe won't hold it against him. Way is right, after all (Hmmm.). Only, Way won't let things be and somehow, without Babe noticing, they're suddenly kissing.

And then Babe goes motionless and still as Way starts undressing him. He's stopped just in time by a very panicky Charlie. When Babe comes to he doesn't know what's going on until Charlie tells him.

Way is their adoptive brother and he can hypnotise alphas.

Because DUN DUN DUN! Way is the enigma.

To be continued. 🤡🤡🤡🤡

[fandomfanservice]

Yes I have been watching all this time 🫣😉☺️🫢😳 but Last Twilight and The Sign kind of consumed my being.

Aaanyway here we go…

Pit Babe Fandom, how are we doing?

How about a beautiful round of applause for no Ep11 curse aka P.A.I.N or Ep12 Fake out, it was just a few twists, turns and reveals.

(Mild spoilers below….)

The identity reveal for the fans was obvious, sorry but still lovely.

The reunion and return reveal for Babe, I may or may not have actually stood up and cheered (can’t wait for next week when Babe & Charlie “talk”, I wonder how they will resolve this?!! 🫣😉🫣) …

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️Mooooooving on, the team up, heist and double crossing but not was fun.

However was it just me screaming instructions at Alan like: “What about the kids Alan??”. “There is 2 of you, 2 of them, they are tiny, you can LITERALLY carry them out Alan!”. “Alan, my guy, save the damn kids, come on, like isn’t that the point of this?!” 😂😂

Alan (doesn’t even blink or look beyond his target): Simply gets what he came for, like I got my Jeff nothing else matters, nothing else to see here.

My guy is down so bad, I can’t🥰. But it doesn’t stop there, what’s worse is once Alan arrived Jeff seemed to get the same blind spot. Like seriously, stay on mission gents, go back into the love bubble after🫣😂🫣😂🫣☠️🫣☠️🫣😂😂

Sooooo, let’s be honest, am I the only fan who really felt for Kenta this week? I would like him to be redeemed and taken care of after all that but I also still want him to get punched repeatedly.

Lastly because I need to let it out, I am not a violent person by nature, but Tony and Winner (awkward cause he is the biggest loser!!!!) pretty much need to be sent to the same circle of hell and Chooper’s dad from Never Let Me Go. Can’t stand any of these mother*uckers!

Still not sure about this delulu inducing show (big plot holes, even for me) but I will be back next week cause you know

[tm-trx]

currents.01 [2024]

[listening]

"Stay for a Night" / Minho - This one's a grower. I was kind of underwhelmed at first, but the more I listen to it the more I like it. It's kind of moody, but uplifting at the same time. The music video is like if you took backgound scenes from romantic kdramas, spliced them together then added Minho on top. It's charming and kind of weird. The SHINee boys never disappoint.

[loving]

Babe's big ol' grin whenever Charlie and he are alone together.

Phaya's poolside love confession.

[watching]

For Him - At this point, I'm really really hoping that whatever happened to Blue justifies all the melodrama. I also can't help wondering if there is more to what Him was dealing with back then, for him to act that way towards Blue. He's clearly under a lot of pressure, trying to attend classes while also taking care of his mother and running her restaurant. And since we haven't seen his father around, possiby taking care of his sister?

On the other hand, if it turns out that Him was already falling out of love with Blue when his mother got sick, then it makes a lot of sense that he pulled away during that time and didn't take care of his relationship along with everything else. It would also explain Him's extreme guilt that we see him dealing with in the present. I'm glad I kept watching For Him weekly. I'm enjoying the slow reveal of everything and the way it feels like a romance novel plot (although ngl Nail being Blue's secret twin would have been fun).

Our Blooming Youth - Three episodes in, and I'm having some trouble getting into it. The comedic tone of the side story is so broad in comparison to the main storyline and it takes away from the gravity of the central conflict.

Pit Babe - Agregiously excessive product placement + more on-screen smoking + they just LEFT KIM THERE. What was that episode? Two Three things going for it though: the moment when Charlie backed away from the gun was genuinely menacing (I thought he was going to find a body so the gun jumpscared me LOL) + Jeff & Alan + Tony was talking to Way right? (It's going to hurt good when we get that revelation. Pete will fix it?) And as always, Babe is so charmed and delighted by Charlie. Love seeing a male lead so obviously happy with his partner. I like the stoic leads as much as the next person, but seeing Babe's gigantic grin in reaction to Charlie's teasing is wonderful.

The Sign - This episode was so over the top. So much (too much!) opera. Despite that, the artist's storyline had me captivated. To the point where I almost didn't care about Phaya and Tharn finally getting together at the end. I sincerely wish I hadn't been spoiled for that. By the time it happened I was still hung up on where the heck Kao was and what actually happened between him and Art. So I probably need to go back and rewatch Phaya and Tharn's scenes. What a hardship.

I did absolutely love the poolside confession. It was beautifully framed. But then the bed scenes were kinda/very cheesy. Apologies to everyone who loved it but the strategically placed pillar candle/knick-knack cracked me up. And the purple/pink lighting. And then the mirror. So over the top. But then they fixed everything with the morning after scene of Phaya staring lovingly at a sleeping Tharn. happy sigh.

Twins - I'm caught up to episode 9 and noticed hints of deeper characterization for the twins, but with only three episodes left I'm not confident they'll expore any of it. There is a deeply angsty story to be told about their relationship and their family, underneath what we're seeing on screen and it's disappointing we haven't been getting that this whole time.

Note: Reading this through makes it sound like everything I watched this week was disappointing. It really wasn't. All of the shows are worth keeping up with and I'm enjoying them all.

previous Currents posts

-

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

I half agree with the above comment, and it actually could have worked really well with what we already had.

But i personally really loved the change. For me having the reveal happen halfway throught the series (the series as 14 episodes totaly according to mdl) and having Babe be largely unware of Tony's plans until Charlie reveals everything were a really good change to overall story.

In the novel it happens way closer to the climax, and then we do not see them together again until after everything happened and Babe then forgives Charlie.

Now I am still hoping that they do something with this change, maybe have their dynamic be a little off, having them feel like their moving backwards a bit, I would like scenes where while they work together where Babe keeps asking Charlie question about the past, and they go from happy times to tense moment. So that the situation doesn't feel like oh it's over now.

And then of course there is the Way stuff that is loooming over them.

I totally understand why some people might feel like that scene was more impactful in the novel, like getting the goodbye sex and the hurt and pain and all that drama.

But for me (again personal opinion no one has to agree with me) putting the Charlie reveal in the middle of the show means that we are getting Charlie and Babe being a team and working together and I really like that.

My own small fix to the fight scene would have been that instead of forgiving him Babe would have said stuff like "Ok I believe you, but I can't trust you, which means we are not fucking until I can trust you again" and instead of the date with the car sex, maybe he could have said to Way, "The Charlie is situation is more complicated, he is not evil, things are still weird, I'll explain later, I want to be alone now".

And then in the next episode we would have Charlie having to work a bit to make Babe trust him again.

Also it's seems obvious to me that they are not following the novel at all, and that we have to start waiting for novel scenes to happen.

Not only are more character paired up, I am betting that we are not getting any death scenes at all, Jeff is probably not an omega and in the series Tony still knows about Jeff still having visions (unlike the novel). And it doesn't feel like Charlie grabbed/stole as many powers as he did in the novel.

I think Babe's were the first and only ones in the series. And given that he wasn't intially aware of what his powers even were for a long time, so long that he spend like 90% of his time at the Mansion stuck in his room, Show Charlie doesn't seem to have the arsenal of powers to get rid off that Novel Charlie did.

Whether or not the changes work for people depends on what they do with their new ideas and direction of course. Also BIG SPOILERS FOR THE NOVEL ----------------------------------------------------------

I could be clowing but I don't think they are going to do Babe secret real dad is going to show up and take away Charlie's powers while everyone thinks he is dead thing.

I do think there is going to be dead Charlie fake out, or maybe some kind sort of moment where he "dies" for a bit then gets revived. And the powers cross back over that way.

But again I might be clowing.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Speaking as someone who has seen many (and i do mean manyyy) different arguments and talks about adaptations and the strenght of each medium, I think that some of those novel moments would not have been as impactful on the screen (personal opinion, not saying they could have not have been done well - adaptation are treaky) and they would have been something that happens at the Episode 11 equivalant. Which means that us BL loving audience would have been even more likely to find it extra drama right at the end to break them up before they get back togheter because we have been primed to see break ups right before the final acts in BL.

So they might be trying something new.

Again just my opions, I just wanted to write another reason why I think this scene and this change as the pontial to be good in my own personal opinion.

I do agree that there were some scenes about personal agency in the novel that sounded really amazing. But we could still get a version of them. We do still have the Way plot and reveal to get through.

I know everyone’s joking about how omg “how could babe be so dickmatized to forgive Charlie so easily”, but let’s not forget this is an omega verse show. I’m gonna deep dive into some a/b/o stuff in pitbabe so buckle up :)

First off Babe has never had a good sexual experience with a partner. As an alpha he prefers other alphas but their scents make him sick. This is what starts his initial compatibility with Charlie.

Charlie lacks that pheromone, that alpha smell. Which means his smell doesn’t force babe to submit. When Babe is with Charlie he can submit on his own free will.

See the other thing is that Babe probably struggled a lot with power dynamics during sex. Even though Babe wants to be taken care of (well really all he wants to be bent over as we’ve seen), he is still PitBabe, he’s still an Alpha and imagine how hard it must be for an alpha to submit to another alpha.

Babe also still likes taking control in other ways. He doesn’t want to be completely submissive. He wants balance. And Charlie gives it to him. Biologically Charlie is a perfect match and that’s why their relationship progressed so quickly and so intensely.

And in addition Charlie is so loving. He compliments Babe all the time, he makes Babe food and feeds him. He treats Babe like an Alpha even though he himself is also one. This isn’t something many Alphas are able to do. Charlie and Babes relationship wouldn’t be the same if it was in the real world, a/b/o shapes their relationship. So I completely understand how Babe forgave Charlie. For Babe, Charlie is his one in a million. I also love how his one condition is was that from now on Charlie has to take care of him. They’re so cute.

At the end of the day babe is just happy Charlie told him and he’s just happy to be with Charlie. In a way I think Babe not having his powers must feel a bit relieving, but that’s a conversation for another time.

[migilini]

Hiiii! I liked how you did the road trip one shot and was wondering if you could do a request for Charlie Gillespie where the reader and Charlie are dating but have been living in different states due to COVID and the boys do an Instagram live and the reader wants to be on the live with them and Charlie gets so excited and it’s fluffy?

So far apart - Charlie Gillespie

A/N: ofc i can! Thank you so much, hope you like it :) I will proofe read it tomorrow.

Words: 1.5k

Masterlist

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Tiredness was your new default state. College alone was stressful and hard enough plus it didn't help that you had to do it online from your little NY appartement that you shared with three other roommates. But you had too. You were in your last semester ever! That was motivation enough to pull through.

Currently you were trying to facetime your boyfriend Charlie. You haven't seen him in about four months but if someone would ask your roommates, they would say it felt like an eternity of you moaning and pouting about not seeing him. When COVID started, the two of you seriously debated about moving in together. However, at that time, your classes were not online yet and you couldn't move away, he also couldn't move to New York with you because he still had meetings with the JATP Cast.

You stared at your ringing phone, desperate to hear his voice. You knew that he should be awake, you had the time zones imprinted on your brain.

Sorry babe, have a meeting in 5… Will call you after okay? <3 the message that just popped up on your screen made you frown a little. You weren't mad, you just had a really awful week and missed him like crazy.

Sure thing <3 yout texted back and threw the phone onto your bed. Deciding that instead of waiting for him to call back, you could use the time usefully and start studying for your next test in two days. 

It was an hour later, you were completely engrossed in the textbook, so you barely heard the ringing of your phone. Maybe a bit too quick, you tossed all your books to the ground and launched yourself on the bed to find your phone. 

His pretty face filled your screen “Heyyy!” “Hello beautiful!” You two grinned at each other.

“How are--” A knocking on your door interrupted your question. “Yes?” The door opened and revealed one of your roommates Alexis with a sheepish look on her face “I’m really sorry to interrupt but Tara just broke off with her boyfriend and she needs a hug.”

You looked up at your red haired friend “She broke up with Tom?!” Alexis nodded “It's an emergency” she claimed. Charlie understood this as his clue to end the call saying a quick goodbye and a don't worry about it, when you shot him an apologetic look. 

This is how it went nearly every time. Something always came up, either you were studying non-stop and he didn't want to distract you or he had actor things and meetings going on. It was truly tiring. The last time you really had the opportunity to facetime was a couple weeks ago and even then you fell asleep inert 15minutes. When Charlie accidentally lulled you to sleep with a song he's been working on. 

Still the two of you made it work. Charlie had started writing you weekly letters with his perfume on it. And you being your crafty self, sent him a little care package with letters, some self made food and paintings, every now and then.

You just finished all your tests and essays for this semester and you felt free again. Taking a deep breath, you opened your bedroom window and put your school books away. Sinking down on your bed, you closed your eyes temporarily, enjoying the moment. You got up again to get yourself something to eat and a coffee. Your roommates were currently away, probably getting groceries or books at the College Library.

You mindlessly scrolled through Instagram, the sandwich you made yourself still laying next to you on the nightstand. Ever since Julie and the Phantoms released, the cast's accounts blew up like crazy and Charlie always showed you off like a queen so of course people found your page as well. You didn't mind though. Most of the people were really nice and respecting, protecting your relationship from all the not so nice guys

You just answered some DM’s, chuckling at a meme that Maddie had sent you, when you got a notification that Owen was live. Naturally you clicked on it, knowing that Charlie most likely will be in the live as well, due to the fact that he was currently at Owen’s with Jeremy.

You were one of the first ones. Owen grinned when he saw your name come up in the chat. 

“Guten Morgen everybody.” You chuckled when you heard your boyfriend singing in the background, writing in the chat that Owen should say hi to Charlie. “Are all of you streaming JATP?” he asked the live audience while you nodded to yourself, your laptop open beside you. It was a bit embarrassing to admit how often you saw the show, but every time you felt lonely you watched it. It had some really cute guys in it after all.

He read the chat “Do you like watching the show you participated in? Thats a good question. Charlie, Charlie! I have a question for you.” The camera turned and it showed the canadian boy you fell in love with. 

“Eh…” he said as he walked into the kitchen, Owen following close. “It was very weird at first. Guess I'm more used to it now.” he answered honestly. You weren't even listening, you just stared at your phone in trance, the light making him look so incredibly pretty.

Suddenly you got an invitation to join the live from Owen. You sat up a bit straighter and blinked a few times before accepting. 

“Helloooooo!” he screamed, making you laugh. “Hi Owen. Yall are up early.”

“Yeah… you know Char. That dumb early riser.” he complained. “Yeah I feel you. Though he lets me sleep so he must love me more than he loves you.” you teased making Owen pout in a childish way.

“Charlie! Who do you love more, me or y/n?” the statement made your boyfriend laugh and for a moment your breath hitched, it was music in your ears and once again you realised how much you missed it.

“I’m really sorry bud, but definitely y/n…I want to...” Charlie just wanted to explain why when he heard your chuckling from Owen’s phone. “See told ya.” It was truly a blessing that the camera was still turned to your boyfriend, making it easy for you to see his reaction. He nearly let the fork he was holding fall out of his hand, his eyes widening while his mouth grew into a big grin. “Is that y/n?” he asked cautiously. Apparently Owen nodded, because before you knew, the camera turned and you were face to face with your boyfriend. 

“Baby!” he screamed, a wide, toothy smile on his lips. “How dare you go on live with Owen but not with me!” he jokes. “How was the history test? As hard as you thought it would be?” you cut off his rambling “Hi! Nice to see you too. No, it was way harder than I expected. Let's hope for the best, I get the results sometime next week”

“I bet you killed that test baby! No, Owen you don't get the phone back… I don't care that it's your live.” The chat was freaking out over Charlie's happiness by just seeing you, talking about how they want love like that.

“Little explanation for everybody. Me and Charlie haven't really been able to facetime so were just really excited right now. Sorry if it's boring.” you explained to the chat. 

“Don’t ever say that ever again.” he said in a serious tone “it's not boring.” you held your hands up in surrender. “Sorry sorry. Can I talk to Owen again? I mean he is the one who invited me.” you teased, poking your tongue out. With a pout he gave the phone back to Owen.

“Are you also streaming the show today?” he asked you. Charlie was in the background, looking at you over Owens shoulder, making silly faces. “Of course! Who do you think I am? I’ve been watching it everyday since it came out.” Owens' face fell “You're kidding… that doesn't… that doesn't seem healthy.” you shrugged “Well i don't really care. I have this massive crush on someone from the show, just can't get enough of him.” 

The camera shook and a couple crunts later you were once again faced with Charlie. “I sure hope it's me or you're not allowed to wear that shirt anymore.” he pointed to the shirt you were currently wearing and that was in fact one of his.

“Not gonna tell you babe. My mouth is shut.” you winked, making him blush. “I miss you.” he blurted out with puppy eyes. “I miss you too. Can’t wait to see you.” he grinned at that excited for the surprise he had planned. 

“I think i'm gonna go, let you guys actually comment on the show. I love you Charlie.” You sent him a kiss and he pretended to catch it with his free hand.

“Eww that's so cheesy.” Owen muttered from somewhere in the back.

“I love you too.”

[lightningbugqueensfics]

Real Family

Destiel

From the prompt “Cas beating the crap out of john winchester for causing dean so much trauma”(thanks @beautifulsaladkitten !)

*********

When John Winchester comes back from the dead, we get a better look into the harm he inflicted on Dean as a child. Castiel is a good boyfriend.

tw: Homophobic slurs and abuse

Ao3 Link

Dean woke to pounding on the front door. He had chosen this room specifically because it was so close to the entryway of the Bunker, but nights like this it bit him in the ass. Here he was, finally getting a good night's sleep, Cas wrapped around his back, and some idiot hunter just had to show up in the middle of the night. They could’ve at least had the decency to wait until morning.

Cas grumbled against his neck, obviously hearing the noise too. Despite still being an angel, ever since they had gotten together Cas had really taken a liking to sleep.

“Stay here, babe,” Dean murmured, “I got it.”

He rolled out of bed and trudged his way to the door. He yanked it open, still grumbling under his breath about “ stupid young hunter with no regard for their elders. ”

As he walked down the hall, Sam joined him.

“Hey man, I’ve got this, you can go back to Cas,” he offered.

“Nah, I’m up already. Who do you think it is?”

“Claire?” Sam asked.

“No, she’s on a Tulpa hunt in San Francisco with Kaia.”

“Ah, young love,”

“Haha, yeah. Charlie?” Dean asked.

“Remember, her and Stevie are on their honeymoon in Colorado.” The wedding had been beautiful. Both brides radiated joy, and nearly everyone (including Dean, though he would never admit it) cried. How Stevie managed to convince Charlie to go somewhere so far out of cell range still escaped Dean, but hey, it seemed like they were having fun.

“Still?”

“Yeah, they found a hunt up there the day they were gonna leave.”

“That’s rough.” Dean said.

“Actually, they seemed pretty excited. ‘First hunt as a married couple’ and all that.”

“Yeah, well, if that happened to Cas and I, you would be taking care of it.” Dean grunted as they reached the War Room.

“So, have you thought about it?” Sam asked carefully, “You know, asking him to marry you? Fully retiring?” The brothers and Cas were already partially retired, only taking hunts near the Bunker and mainly helping with the research. They were like the new Bobby’s. It was amazing how far they’d come.

“I mean, yeah,” he admitted, “I think I’d like that. I don’t think very soon, but eventually. We wasted so much time already, it’d be nice to make it official.”

Their conversation was cut off as they reached the big iron door. Sam stood in front of his brother to open it, and his back went ramrod straight the second he saw who was at the door. Dean peeked over his ginormous shoulder and felt the blood drain from his face.

“Dad?” 

Dean’s voice hurt him. It was like just the sight of their father turned him back into that obedient little kid, who always did what his father told him to. He was so much more than that now.

“Boys?” John asked, “Why do you look so… old?” Sam was still speechless, so Dean took charge. Fifteen years had passed and it was exactly the same.

“How are you alive?”

“I was with your mother, heaven, I think, there was this bright like, and then poof, here I am. Standing right outside this big ass metal door.”

“Um, Dad, what year do you think it is?”

“2006. Why? How long has it been, boys?”

“It’s uh, 2020 now. What was the last thing you remember?” he asked his dad, then said to Sammy: “Get the holy water, silver, and borax. We can do more tests later.”

“2020?” John asked, shocked, “What the hell?”

“Dad,” Dean said, trying to sound firmer, “What was the last thing you remember before being with mom?”

“The hospital. My deal with Yellow Eyes. I died, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did. Then you came back as a ghost to kill the demon, then we went back in time and met you a couple of times, then you came back because of a wishing pearl that we had to destroy because it screwed with time. Things have gotten a lot more complicated since you left.”

Sam showed up with the borax and holy water, which he splashed on John’s face, then he handed him the silver knife, still silent. After a cut proving his humanity, John turned back into a commander.

“Tell me everything. Now, Dean.”

So Dean did. He told him about the end of the hunt for Azazel, about going to hell, about Angels, about the plan to free Lucifer, and about the first Apocalypse. He told him about the deal with Crowely, about the Leviathans, about Purgatory, about Abbadon, and Metatron. He told him about becoming a demon, killing Death and Hitler, and freeing the Darkness. He told him about Chuck, Rowena, and Jack. He told him about Mary coming back and the apocalypse world. He told him everything.

The only thing he left out was his relationship with Cas and that Cas was an angel, because John was sure to meet the man soon, and that would not be a fun conversation if he knew.  

Dean had no delusions that John would approve of his relationship with another man, let alone one that wasn’t human. Hell, his father was one of the main reasons Dean took so long to own up to his feelings.

“So you’re telling me,” John said slowly, “That you two started--and ended--the apocalypse… more than once? Once… because you,” he pointed at Sam, “got addicted to demon blood , and then again because you,” he pointed at Dean, “actually became a demon.” The brother nodded.

“You IDIOTS!” he roared, and Dean flashed back to his childhood. Drunken rages. Thrown beer bottles. Old bruises on his arm blamed on a werewolf, the only thought going through his head protect Sammy . “YOU FUCKING MORONS! Dean - A demon? You became the monster! God, I hope Sammy hunted you,” Sam started to rise to his feet, presumably to defend his brother, when John turned his gaze on the younger brother, “And you ! That demon was right! I told Dean to kill you, he should’ve! Drinking demon blood , Sam? You’ve got to know how broken you are! I was gone, what, two years? You even regret what you did? I bet you don’t you sick bas-”

“SHUT UP!” Dean yelled, shocking himself. John looked just as surprised.

“What did you say to me?”

“I said,” Dean replied, his voice somehow steady, despite the pounding in his chest, “Shut up. You can yell at me, you can tell me how broken I am--God knows that’s the truth--but you don’t do that to Sam. He tried, okay? He tried so hard but I abandoned him. You abandoned him. He’s a good man. All he ever wanted was a normal life, and he never got that. Because of you . So don’t you ever blame him for things that you caused. The pain you put us through. You did this, not us!”

“Get out of my sight,” John growled.

Dean stalked past him, catching sight of Cas in the doorway.

“Is everything alright, Dean?” he asked, “I heard yelling. Is that your father?”

“Yeah, it is,” Dean barked, without the same bite in his tone he had used on John. Cas, perfect as always, followed Dean down the hallway to their room. The tears stung his eyes before he even made it through the door.

Dean sank to the edge of their bed, tears flowing down his cheeks.

“Dean,” Cas was on his knees beside the hunter, a hand resting on his leg, “What happened?”

“He’s back” Dean choked out, “And it’s the same, Cas! I thought we… changed, you know? Got better, stronger. I thought I would be enough to s-stop him!”

“Stop him?”

“From hurting Sammy. Cas… he-he used to hit me. Not Sammy, that I know of, but, not all the bruises I got were from hunts. He would come home drunk and angry, and would always blame me if Sammy got hurt. Even if it was his fault!” Cas rose up and brought him into a hug, “I never stopped him. He did it till Sammy went to college. Then he just left me. I thought, maybe, if he ever came back…. I could finally do something,” he sniffled, “but I guess that’s proof that I’m still the same scared little boy.”

“No, no, no,” Cas whispered into his hair, “Dean, you are the bravest man I have ever met. I heard what you said to him. Dean, that was bravery! That was you standing up for your little brother. Could you have done that fifteen years ago?” Dean shook his head, still crying, “So you see, love? You grew. You are stronger. He hurt you, but you are still here. Still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester.”

“I love you, Cas,” Dean murmured as he shifted his head into the crook of the angel’s neck.

“Come on, Dean, let’s go to bed. We can talk about this more in the morning.”

Dean nodded his head, and Cas maneuvered him under the covers, still wrapped in his angels arms.

With that they settled in to sleep. Dean fell into a peaceful slumber, completely unaware of the fury coursing through Castiel’s veins.

**************

Dean woke to pounding on the door. He grunted, knowing what was coming, and knowing that it was even worse to put it off. He forced himself out of bed and made his way to the door, still half asleep.

If he had been fully awake he might have realized the mistake he was making.

The door opened to reveal John Winchester’s still beet red face, this time the intoxicated kind. It seemed like the few hours since their fight had done nothing to calm him down.

“What do you want?” Dean asked, voice slurred with sleep.

“I want you to explain to me what that was last night!!”

“Can we do this in like, an hour?” he grunted, “I’m gonna need a shower and a cup of coffee to deal with…” he vaguely gestured at John.

“Do you think this is a laughing matter, boy? We need to-” he glanced behind Dean, “Who is that ?”

“That’s Cas.” Oh shit . Dean’s eyes widened with incredible speed and he reached the slam to door shut.

John’s hand shot open and caught it before it could close.

“The same Cas who’s a ‘hunter buddy’ of yours?” his face was now turning an alarming shade of purple as he strode into the room. Dean backed up, flinching away from his father. He heard rustling in the bed, Cas was sitting up.

“You mean to tell me that not only has your brother gotten addicted to demon blood, and you actually became a demon, some hunter turned you into a FUCKING QUEER?” John roared. Dean just kept inching backwards, that same fear from his childhood rearing its head inside of him.

“God, Dean, I knew you were fucked in the head, but this? Sleeping around with some fag, what did they do to you? I knew you were too much like your mom, always a little pansy,” his voice was slurring, just like it did before every beating when Dean was young, “Who knows, maybe I can beat it out of you?” Dean was on the floor beside the bed now, frozen, just like he was back then. Nothing had changed.

As John reared his arm back, ready to bring it down on Dean's face, a calm but lightning fast hand stopped it in its tracks.

Castiel stood beside Dean. His face was devoid of any emotion, but from the look on John’s face, his hand was squeezing enough to hurt. Still dressed in his bumblebee pajama pants and Dean’s AC/DC shirt, he didn’t look dangerous. Dean knew better. John did not.

“Get your hands off me you fucking faggot!” the man snarled.

“No. You will not hurt Dean.”

“Who are you to stop me?”

“I’m the person who saved him. I’m the one who gripped him tight and raised him from perdition. I’m the one who picked up the pieces of that incredible man you broke and helped him fit them back together. I have loved him more than you are even capable of, so I’d say I have every right to stop you.” Castiel growled the words.

“Let me go, you son of a bitch!” John still wasn’t backing down. Castiel pushed him against a wall with one hand still holding John’s fist and the other arm pressed against his throat.

“I’m an angel you ass.” Castiel’s eyes glowed blue, like they did right before smiting someone. He was the most furious Dean had ever seen him.

“You’re a-” John cut off, “You mean to tell me that not only is Dean fucking a man, you’re not even human ? God, you really are fucked in the head, boy.” Castiel pressed harder on his trachea.

“Dean is not ‘fucked in the head’ as you say. He is a kind and loyal man, no thanks to you. He is no longer your son, John Winchester. You made sure to beat that out of him. Sam and I, and the people we have found and lost along the way, we are his family. We care about him. We love him. That’s more than you can ever say!”

“Dean,” he gasped out, “tell this monster to stop! I’m your father for christ’s sake!” Dean rose unsteadily to his feet. Heart beating faster than on most hunts, adrenaline coursing through him, Dean did the one thing he had always wanted to do but never had the courage for.

“No,” he said.

“No?”

“No. Cas is right. You only ever hurt me, Dad. It was always ‘protect Sammy,’ ‘do this,’ ‘do that.’ You never cared about me, Dad! You just wanted a good little soldier! You ruined me even more than this life did, than hell did.

“So, no. I let you walk all over me for my entire life. I let you abuse me into my twenties! But you can’t hurt Cas. You can’t hurt one of the few people in my life who genuinely cares about me. He’s made me a better person, he’s healed the damage you did. I love him, and if you can’t accept that and finally become a decent father, then you can get out. Leave. Never come back. I don’t want to see your face again.” Dean pointed at the door, hand shaking with nerves and fury.

Castiel removed his arms from a shell-shocked John. The man stared at Dean with fury and pain in his eyes.

He nodded jerkily and trudged out the door.

Dean watched him go, mind blank. The shaking got worse, and he fell back to sit on the edge of the bed.

Cas settled beside him and wrapped Dean up in his arms, silent for a time. When he finally spoke, he knew just what to say.

“I’m proud of you, Dean,” he murmured, to no response, “I know it doesn’t feel good now, but you did the right thing. He’s gone now, and you can move forward. We can do it together.”

“Thank you, Cas,” Dean said into his chest, “For… stopping him, but also for what you said. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, my love. I meant every word. Now, why don’t you get into bed and I’ll bring you a cup of coffee,”

“Peppermint hot chocolate?” Dean asked.

“Of course, Dean.” With that, Cas left to fetch their drinks and, Dean was sure, to make certain John had left. Cas was perfect in that way.

With Cas gone, Dean was left alone with his thoughts. He realized how far he’d come. Even in these fifteen years since he went and got Sam at Stanford.

He used to water down his coffee with whiskey. Now he was asking for hot cocoa. He would find a new girl every week, sometimes even more often, and wouldn’t even know their names. Now he was in a steady relationship with a guy (well, angel) who he loved more than anything. He used to let John hurt him in any way he wanted to. Now he was the one who kicked him out.

He wasn’t perfect. Wasn’t even close. But he was so much better than he used to be. And Dean knew why.

He found good people. Sam. Jody, Claire, Donna, Charlie, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Garth, and so many more. Cas. They made him better. They loved him, and helped him start to love himself.

Cas returned with two cups held carefully in his hands, a concentrated crease between his brows. He silently shuffled into place beside Dean. The angel passed over the cocoa, put his arm around his shoulder, and gave him a little peck on the cheek.

For the rest of the day the two watched movies and funny tv shows on Dean’s iPad. They cuddled and kissed and joked. It was perfect.

Because, yeah, John had screwed Dean up. But the people in Dean’s life were fixing that. And they were the people that mattered. His real family.

Tags: @beautifulsaladkitten @icesoulprincess @themoosegoes-deanicandothis @deano-cas @when-humans-were-good

[samclownchester]

Supernatural Rewatch 04x07

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)

For one thing, the title of this episode invites us to analyse it as it relates to “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,” a story about Charlie’s friend, Linus, who believes in a Great Pumpkin that will come on Halloween night. A story all about fruitless belief and disappointment. But is Sam Linus, or is Cas? (someone else write this essay or pay me to write it because I will)

Let’s talk about Sam’s faith journey

When Sam first meets the angels, he is filled with awe. He is so excited to see them, and then the first thing Cas says to him is:

CASTIEL:

Sam Winchester –The boy with the demon blood.

That is how the angels see him, that’s how they define him. Then they tell them that they are willing to destroy an entire town instead of just finding and killing the witch.

SAM:

There are a thousand people here.

URIEL:

One thousand two hundred fourteen.

SAM:

And you’re willing to kill them all? … No, you can’t do this, you’re angels, I mean aren’t you supposed to – You’re supposed to show mercy.

His faith is shaken.  

SAM:

I thought they’d be different. … I mean, I thought they’d be righteous.

DEAN:

Well, they are righteous, I mean, that’s kinda the problem. Of course there’s nothing more dangerous than some a-hole who thinks he’s on a holy mission.

SAM:

But, I mean, this is God? And Heaven? This is what I’ve been praying to?

DEAN:

Look man, I know you’re into the whole God thing, you know, Jesus on a tortilla and stuff like that. But just because there’s a couple of bad apples doesn’t mean the whole barrel’s rotten. I mean, for all we know, God hates these jerks. Don’t give up on this stuff, is all I’m saying. Babe Ruth was a dick but baseball’s still a beautiful game.

Ok this … what Dean says here means a lot to me. Dean doesn’t understand Sam’s faith, he never has, and he normally doesn’t turn down a chance to criticize it, but when he sees that his little brother is really starting to doubt, he tries to steady the faith crisis as best he can. He knows how much a belief in God, a belief in some higher being who is watching out for them, means to Sam, and instead of tearing down Sam’s fragile faith in this moment, which he very much could do, he tries to argue that maybe they’re not all bad, grasping for something to let Sam keep holding on to. 😭 😭 😭

Of course, it’s not enough. As anyone who’s dealt with a faith crisis will know, once you notice the flaws in the system you used to trust, being reminded that, perhaps, the flaws are a fluke and the rest of it is really the good thing you imagined it to be … never really works. He’s seen the cracks and he can’t go back to the belief and reverence he had before. Not only are Castiel and Uriel personally dismissive of Sam, but they are about to kill a thousand people and won’t listen to reason or have compassion. They are nothing like what he thought he had faith in, and we know from his relationship with John that Sam is not someone who will put faith and trust above his own logic and understanding unless he is given a very good reason.

SAM:

So, this demon’s pretty powerful … Might take more than the usual weapons.

DEAN:

Sam, no, you’re not using your psychic whatever … because the angels said so for one –

SAM:

I thought you said they were a bunch of fanatics.

DEAN:

Well they happen to be right about this one.

SAM:

I don’t know, Dean, it doesn’t seem like they’re right about much.

Sam quit using his powers in 4x04 after Dean told him that was what the angels wanted, he quit after seeing Jack give in to his monstrous nature and thinking maybe that was what was in store for him. But now that he knows that he morally disagrees with the angels on a pretty big point (Sam would never let a thousand people die, no matter the cost) he feels pretty sure that he can make his own moral decisions regardless of what the angels think. So, he decides to use his powers. He defeats Samhain before he can raise too many dead and wreak too much havok, and he saves the day. And still Uriel comes to him and admonishes him for using what Azazel gave him.

We get a little bit more insight into Cas in this episode. Firstly, they have this conversation regarding faith and obedience

CASTIEL:

We have no choice.

DEAN:

Of course you have a choice. I mean, come on, what? You’ve never questioned a crap order, huh? What are you both, just a couple of hammers?

CASTIEL:

Look, even if you can’t understand it, have faith. The plan is just. … it comes from heaven, that makes it just.

DEAN:

Oh, it must be nice, to be so sure of yourselves.

CASTIEL:

Tell me something, Dean, when your father gave you an order, didn’t you obey?

(Which … the parallels between Dean’s dedication to John and subsequent rejection of him and Castiel’s faith in Heaven and later rebellion??? Amazing)

But, in this conversation Cas seems to have complete faith in his orders, but it is later revealed that he was (you guessed it) LYING in that scene, and their true orders were to “do whatever [Dean] told them to do,” so when Dean said no, they had to back down. And then Cas opens up even further and reveals that, although he claimed that he had faith and believed any order from heaven to be just, he actually has doubts.

CASTIEL:

You misunderstand me, Dean, I’m not like you think. … I’m not a hammer as you say. I have questions, I have doubts. I don’t know what is right and what is wrong anymore.

This also shows us that, so far, Cas has only lied to Dean when he is under orders to do so. When he gets the chance, he gives Dean real honesty about his motivations and beliefs.

[nickpakin]

You’re like a fucking golden retriever, don’t you give up?

Summary:

Charlie gets Alex an actual golden retriever as a present for their one-year anniversary, but then gets jealous when he starts to see that Alex has been spending way too much time with his pet.

Charlie’s POV:

I have always loved when my beloved boyfriend, Alex Standall, would call me a golden retriever in a human body. So to show him how much I appreciate him using that label on me, I decided to adopt an actual golden retriever puppy as an anniversary present for Alex. After finishing up with work, I drive straight to Alex's apartment. Once I headed to the front door and rang the doorbell, I begin to pose comically with some balloons and the box with our new pet in it as Alex answers the door.

"Happy anniversary, honey bear!" I beamed as I saw Alex's pretty face.

"Charlie, we've talked about honey bear." Alex groaned in embarrassment.

"But it's an adorable nickname." I pouted.

"On Mars, maybe." He joked.

Alex elevates himself on his tiptoes to kiss me. There was never a day where I didn’t miss the taste of Alex's soft, cherry-flavored chapstick. I give a few more cheeky kisses to the most handsome man in existence before settling down on his living room couch.

"Look what I got you." I said as I handed Alex the box.

I watch my boyfriend as he roughly tears off the wrapping paper until the mystery in that box was finally revealed before him.

"Oh. my. god." Alex gasped. "It's so so cute!"

The puppy pops up from the box and jumps right into Alex's arms. My smile widens as I looked at Alex absolutely gushing over the cuteness of the tiny golden retriever.

"Wow it's so fluffy!" Alex said. "Where did you get it?"

"PetSmart." I chuckled.

"Thank you so much, babe.” Alex smiled. “What’s its name? I am already obsessed."

"His name is Max, and you're welcome." I said as I lay my arm around his shoulder. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too, Charles." He says before kissing my lips.

Me and my adorable boyfriend relax on the couch while we both welcome the newest member of our little family in our arms.

"We’re gonna get along real well, huh Max?" Alex gushed while ruffling his fingers through Max’s fur.

"Yes we will." I said, mimicking Max.

In this moment in time, I knew he was right. Max, Alex and I are gonna be one, big, happy family. What could possibly go wrong?

FEW WEEKS LATER

I wake up from my good night's sleep and proceed to text my boyfriend to see if he had any plans for today. After celebrating our anniversary, it had gotten complicated for us to see each other these past few weeks because of Alex being busy with work and preparing for his college final exams all while taking care of Max. As much as I wanted to be there to keep him company, Alex really cares about studies and I want him to thrive and succeed. But at the same time I wish I was there to help him relax from all the stress he had been through.

CHARLIE: Are you up, babe? 👀😊

ALEX: i am now

CHARLIE: So Tyler and Estela invited us to go to the movies with them today. You wanna come?

ALEX: Can’t. Have to study for this stupid college algebra final tomorrow.

CHARLIE: Aww that sucks. 🥺 Well... maybe I could take you out to the mall after you're done?

ALEX: Nope, history exam the next day sadly. anyways gotta go practice with my quadratic equations :(

CHARLIE: ok good luck! Luv you honey bear! ❤️😘

Several minutes pass and Alex leaves me with no reply. My boyfriend has never ended our conversations without texting 'I love you' back. The more I waited, the more worried I became which made me think that something was up. After picking up Tyler and Estela, I decide to stop by his place to see if he was okay. As I parked near the curb, I glance out the window to observe his residence. Just when I thought I would see my boyfriend looking all pretty and studious, I see him running around playing with Max in the front lawn.

"What the hell?" I said, clenching my fist on the wheel.

Alex literally said he had to study tonight, but from what I was seeing right in front of my eyes it seems my so-called boyfriend has somehow completely fallen in love with that dog. He has never lied to me; not even once, until I let Max enter the picture. I started to think that maybe I should never have given Alex that dog for his birthday. Seeing the love of my life avoiding me while being with that monstrosity made my positive energy deplete.

"I guess it's just us, Tyler." I said.

"Okay, cool." Tyler said.

"Can we watch A Dog's Purpose?" Estela begged. "I've been dying to watch it."

"What do you think, Charlie?" Tyler said.

"Uhh... sure. Sounds fun." I nodded. "Tickets are on me."

I start my car and proceed to drive our way to The Crestmont.

"So what happened with Alex?" Tyler asked.

"He's..." I paused. "I don't... I don't think he loves me anymore."

"What?" Tyler gasped. "Why would you think that?"

"Ever since I got him that puppy, we haven't been talking as much as we used to." I grumbled. "Alex told me he had been studying non-stop but turns out he's been spending way too much time with that golden retriever. It's like Max is his second husband. Like, hello? I'm your boyfriend not him, you should be paying attention to me!"

"Um... I think you're being way overdramatic." Tyler pointed out.

"Am not!" I yelled. "Ty, you're not helping."

"Wasn't the reason you gave him Max in the first place was because you wanted to show how much you loved him?" Tyler mentioned.

"Well... yeah." I said as I calmed down my voice.

Maybe Tyler was right. I could be overreacting. But ever since I heard about Alex kissing Zach that one time long before we officially dated, I had gotten more worried about how there could be other guys out there who would be brave enough to steal my precious Alex Standall away from me. Now I'm literally competing with an animal. A human golden retriever V.S. an actual golden retriever. Never have I ever thought I'd end up in this kind of situation.

"Look, before you know it, Alex will come crawling right back to you." Tyler said.

"Yeah, right." I sighed.

THE NEXT DAY

The next day I attempted to call and text Alex again, but with no surprise, no answer. Good thing I have him on Snapchat to see what he's actually doing when I'm not around. I open his snapchat story to see a video of him teaching Max how to catch a frisbee. Knowing exactly where he's at, I decide to take a trip to the park to have a nice, little chat with my nerdy liar of a boyfriend and his adorable, yet deceiving minion.

"Charlie, hey!" Alex waved while holding Max with a leash.

"Alex. Didn't expect to see you and... him here." I said as my eyes shifted to Max. "How were you finals?"

"Stressful, but I made B's on my english, psychology, and history finals and got a C+ on my algebra exam." Alex grinned.

"Right..." I said longingly.

"Wait why did you say that so long?" Alex said suspiciously. "You okay, babe?"

"Oh now you call me babe." I gagged. "Funny since you've been so busy with your other one."

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Alex asked. "What's up with you?"

I tried my best to avoid answering the question but the more I looked at Max being beside Alex, the more I wanted to let all my frustrations out.

"Charles Hayden Brixton Saint George, answer me." Alex commanded.

Whenever Alex says my full name, I automatically know that he's in a bad mood.

"Because you’ve been spending way too much time with Max." I finally confessed.

Alex puts his hands on his hips in a sassy manner.

"That’s why you’ve been so grouchy?" Alex said. "Because you were jealous of the dog that YOU gave me?"

"Well…" I shrugged.

Just when I thought Alex was going to put me in my place, he laughs tremendously and playfully pushes my shoulder.

"You can be such a drama queen, you know that?" Alex laughed.

"So you love me again?" I teased.

"Always have, always will, you dork." Alex chuckled.

Alex presses his palms over my cheeks and I finally get to kiss his sweet lips again after what felt like a whole lifetime. Then Max runs towards me and lands his paws on my ankles.

"Oh hey, my little one!" I said, picking Max up.

"Don't you have something to say to Max?" Alex said.

"Alright, I'm sorry for my unnecessary behavior." I murmured. "And for thinking you stole Alex from me. You can't understand a word I'm saying anyway."

Max stares at me with those mesmerizing puppy dog eyes, but after a while he begins licking my face very menacingly.

"I guess he forgives you." Alex smiled.

Right after making up, the three of us run towards the open grass, letting Max take the lead. Alex hands me a frisbee and I proceed to throw it towards as hard as I could. Max starts running in its direction while Alex and I follow him. The two of us cheer our golden retriever on as he successfully catches the frisbee. We continue to play and chase each other around in circles until all of our energy got drained. Me and my beloved honey bear were left smiling happily on the green grass, with Max laying down comfortably between us. Despite having second thoughts about bringing that puppy into our lives, it turns out that Max brought me and Alex much closer than ever. I guess having not one, but two golden retrievers in the life of Alex Standall was not such a bad thing after all.

[paperclipninja]

Lucifer post-ep ramble 5x01

Hi there, long time fangirl, first time Lucifan. After devouring all 4.5 seasons of this magnificent show in an impressive/alarming (all a matter of perspective) amount of time, I have very quickly found myself well and truly obsessed dedicated to all things Lucifer. And when a show grabs me like this one has, I tend to have a lot of thoughts and feelings that I can’t help but share, and so the post-ep ramble was born. It will probably contain many words, it may or may not be particularly coherent, there will definitely be over-analysing, but I thought I might indulge in re-capping the season 5 eps as I re-watch, so this is the first ramble off the rank. 

‘Really Sad Devil Guy’ (A+ ep name btw) kicks off as we’re still scrambling to pick up all our heart pieces after the season 4 finale, which is why Mr. Said Out Bitch (aka Lee Garner) being in Hell is such a cracker of an opening. Lucifer just waiting below deck on Fishizzle II (wth happened to Fishizzle I??) to greet him with his trademark ‘hello’ made me disproportionately happy, mostly because he was on my screen but also because his encounters with Mr. SOB are always great and this was no exception. Getting an insight into ‘life in Hell’, the way the characters in the Hell loops are played by Demons and Lucifer in action as the King was fab at this point in the series. And does anyone else have a visceral reaction to Lucifer stopping that bullet? I know it’s brief, I cannot explain it, it might be the command he has, the fact it’s awesome, but it makes me FEEL things. Just me? Cool.

I think what really strikes me in the way Lucifer just has to pop in on Mr. SOB upon hearing of his arrival, is the fact that he is a link to Lucifer’s life on Earth. They’ve existed in the same places there, breathed the same air, it’s a way for Lucifer to make that connection to his home more tangible. And when he realises where Mr. SOB’s hell loop has them moored, at Marina Del Ray, the way Lucifer says 'Los Angeles' with such yearning makes those heart pieces I had started cobbling back together really begin to ache. What this episode pulls off so brilliantly is the way Chloe and Lucifer remain connected despite being apart, and it’s all set up when Lucifer tells Mr. SOB, ‘You know, there's a good chance I know who's on your case. To them it's only been a few months, a blink of an eye, but here it's been much much longer’.

What’s happening ‘below deck’ in Hell (sorry...or am I?) is of course mirrored at the crime scene, where Maze is still calling Ella Ellen (never change Maze ILY) and Ella is banging on about Lucifer not responding to her DM’s and texts and it’s all so on brand and the thought of her sending Lucifer a clip of a parrot dancing to techno and him finding it funny is just too perf. Maze having Chloe’s back from the get-go and telling Ella to ‘read the room’ just shows how far this Demon has come. And of course Chloe saying that she hasn’t even really thought about Lucifer since he left...(spoiler alert: she has).

Seeing Maze and Chloe out drinking and dancing, somehow they're kinda dorky together and I love it, but it’s also really clear that they’re both leaning on each other pretty heavily and being there for one another and honestly, I love literally every combination of characters on Lucifer, you put any two together and the dynamic is 100% their own and these two are up there. It’s so weird seeing Amandiel running Lux, I big L LOVE Amenadiel but it’s just...wrong. Plus hats off to D.B. because his delivery of ‘No one sells drugs in my place...without me getting a piece of the action’, not gonna lie, I was THROWN.

So are we assuming that the number of months Lucifer has been gone = the number of times Chloe has rocked up to work with a hangover? Lol at the sunglasses but also, you do you Chloe, whatever you gotta do babe. Just like Amenadiel running Lux is like watching a slightly off AU version of the show, so is seeing Maze and Chloe as partners at work. Don’t get me wrong, Maze clearly supporting her and when they’re interrogating a lead, seeing Chloe and Maze have such a groove that they’re finishing each other's sentences and communicating without talking, I dig it. But I love that while it’s great, it still doesn’t feel right. Because that there is why this show is so clever, as an audience we crave the return to the way things were just as the characters we are watching do.

Linda being a completely OTT mum is so fab. I could write an entire essay about my Linda love. Her adamance that ‘Charlie’s special’ and Ella’s ‘every child is special in their mum’s eyes, huh?’ sums it up perfectly. Did I mention I adore Ella? I definitely get the distinct impression Ella is doing a bit of self-reflection, her comment about being drawn to the bad boys for some reason clearly foreshadowing, but also her reflecting that she deserves a good guy for once (just not this ep when there is a bad boy/potential suspect to be hooked up with). I am curious to see the ‘darkness’ Ella has alluded to in earlier seasons being explored further and feel like this is sowing the seeds and I’m also waiting for a significant Linda/Ella D&M at some point. But clearly not this point, because 'science lesson Wednesdays...I checked your schedule and that's your day off' Linda is NOT about deep and meaningfuls (or anyone who isn’t a 2 month old baby), you need to DIAL IT DOWN friend.  I love that it takes Trixie pulling some funny faces and Dan offering some sage parenting advice as he returns the self-help books (love the irony there) for Linda to begin to chill a bit.          

So Dan has gone all new age with his oils and self improvement and you know what? I love it. And then of course we have Amenadiel needing to help make the world a safer place, he just needs to make sure for Charlie ya know and ugh my ovaries. I must say, I was relieved to realise that the club life had not in fact corrupted the delightful warrior we all love after all - it’s all a ploy to catch a REAL BIG TIME drug dealer (nooooo I can feel the second hand embarrassment already...)! Amenadiel setting up the ‘drug bust’, telling the dealer, ‘looks like gooood drugs’, oh you dear sweet naïve Angel you. We of course discover that the bust is, well, a bust, because the ‘drug lord’ is actually a kid trying to offload his mum’s pain meds *insert facepalm emoii here*. But rather than ridicule or be angry, Dan is so understanding and supportive of Amenadiel and once again offers up advice and I really am so into this friendship on every level and the care and openness it models.

Meanwhile, the genius parallel between what is happening on Earth and in Hell really takes effect as Chloe and Maze go undercover (I mean, they are a glam couple lbh) to the poker game while Lucifer is at a game hosted by the same suspect in Mr. SOB’s ‘exquisite’ Hell loop. His exclamation that it’s exquisite reflects that Lucifer and Mr. SOB are not that different, that it’s the kind of place Lucifer might manifest as well, but I also feel that Lucifer could be admiring his own Kingdom’s handiwork at creating LA with such accuracy from someone’s subconscious. He allows himself to be absorbed in it, ‘City of Angels, I’ve missed you’, and I can’t help but get the impression that hearing Lucifer call LA this for the first time is confirmation that his Heaven, or place of Angels, is in fact there with Chloe.

Chloe remains firmly in the forefront of Lucifer’s mind this entire episode, with him asking ‘what would she do?’ and wanting to replicate the life he had with her at the precinct. But of course he is soon reminded of his reality, as he tries to get more information from Mr. SOB who is being useless. Lucifer incorrectly calling him ’Detective’ shatters the illusion that he is any closer to Chloe, and this is impressively emphasised as he erases the LA cityscape to reveal the Hellscape. For a moment he’d let himself believe he was back there. Back home. His, ‘you’re not her’ making some of my heart pieces fall out once again.

But then the messenger arrives, ‘Lord Morningstar, there’s someone you should meet’ and lo and behold it’s guy who just got hit by car up on the Earth-side of this investigation and I.am. loving. it. Also, did Lucifer put out a Hell-wide memo that if ANYONE arrives from LA they are to be bought to him so he can send messages to Chloe through their bodies??? NO REALLY I'M FINE. Having a Demon possess the dead dude’s body to pass on the tip from Lucifer was just TOO MUCH. His, ‘hey is that Mazikeen?’ made me actually lol but also, look how far we’ve come! Chloe doesn’t even flinch when the dead guy wakes up possessed to pass on Lucifer’s message. I’m so proud. 

'It's safe where you stored it' caused me way more amusement than was perhaps intended, but Ella, Maze and Chloe together, trying to figure out what it meant, it's such a great moment and the comedic timing is gold. Also, the fact it actually helps the case, ugh, Chloe and Lucifer are still connected and working together even though they are not on the same plane of existence and I’m just going to need to curl up for a minute because feelings.

You know who else is having a lot of feelings in this ep? The Devil himself. After he is satisfied he has passed on the message, he’s done with Mr. SOB, sending him, ‘back to your torture. And me to mine’. Any remnants of my heart are now once again shattered all over the floor in case you’re wondering. Lucifer doesn’t even try to hide the fact that being away from Chloe is so painful, almost revealing more than he ever usually would when Mr. SOB asks if she’s ‘somebody important?' to which he replies, 'more than you could ever know'. 

He only just stops himself before telling Mr. SOB her name, when he realises he's trying to manipulate him. And I'm so glad, Lucifer so sparingly uses Chloe’s name, it's always significant when he does and I feel like he reserves those moments for only between them. But Mr. SOB really does sum it up when he observes, ‘you just seem like a really sad Devil guy’, BECAUSE HE IS A REALLY SAD DEVIL GUY (can we just take a moment to appreciate how not at all scared of Lucifer Mr. SOB is, he doesn’t even refer to him as THE Devil, just ‘Devil guy’. It’s kind of nice that he sees and accepts him as both Devil and human without really questioning it). 

The parallel continues as Chloe and Lucifer are talking to a sister and brother  and the way this highlights the place they're both in. It's just brilliant writing and execution. Chloe is talking to Meg about her brother’s death and both her and Lucifer's yearning for one another is palpable. At the same time, Maze telling Chloe that they don’t need Lucifer and kissing Chloe highlights Maze’s desire for connection and love. She wants it so badly and the way she shuts down when Chloe suggests they stop working together breaks my heart.

When Lucifer takes Mr. SOB to the root of his Hell loop, yes, it’s about Lucifer projecting his own guilt and lack of self worth onto him, but his assertion that, 'it is inevitable sooner or later you're going to disappoint them all over again. So you'd rather stay away for all eternity’, really feels as though it carries multiple meanings. As a self-referential comment, is Lucifer talking about Heaven or Earth? Is it his fear of disappointing and letting down Chloe and the other humans or is it his belief that he disappointed his family? And if Angels self-actualise does that mean he was never 'stuck' in Hell at all and could have returned to Heaven? I certainly feel there is some sort of realisation occurring here. Or could be completely over-analysing it. Why not have both 🤷‍♀️

You know the line that just up and got me though? ‘Whose hell is this anyway? Are you sure this is my hell? You just here torturing yourself’- Mr. SOB calling Lucifer out is A MOMENT. And I can’t help but wonder if a part of it is Lucifer wanting Mr. SOB to come to terms with his own guilt, wanting to help him because he knows he’s not evil and he is trying to reconcile his own guilt too. If he can help Mr. SOB face and let go of the guilt then he has a chance of it too. And that’s when Mr. SOB challenges Lucifer, pointing out that he missed his chance, ‘but what about you?’ 'The self-centred simplicity of you humans never ceases to amaze me...I am here out of responsibility, I had to protect humanity, I had to protect HER', the delivery of this line, the frustration of being misunderstood, of ppl thinking that he acts for himself when his very reason for being back in Hell is for others, I can feel it through the screen.

The dead guy we saw get shot in the kitchen appearing at that moment with news about ‘the Detective’ and then cutting straight back to the shoot up in the house, file under: how to brilliantly edit. “Lucifer” appearing; the whistle, the casually strolling in, the ‘hello bad guys’ = I was FOOLED. I mean you have to admit, the ‘thought I'd give you a hand' pun was well played, classic Lucifer, very convincing.  My shipper heart was SO FULL for the split second Lucifer and the Detective kissed, until Chloe realised that something was off and her open eyes told us something was up. The cut back to Hell and seeing Lucifer still standing there with Mr. SOB...you may have heard my ‘noooooooo’ from wherever you are. ‘She’ll be just fine without me’...said every Devil who has a dick twin brother who’s going to try and destroy, nay STEAL, his life and love of his life ever.

Michael, you're an evil bastard but damn you nailed that villainous smirk over-the-shoulder pose in the final shot. Whatever you have in store, I will no doubt revel in your awfulness and be confused about whether or not I hate you. 

[doof-doofblog]

EastEnders Iconic Episodes:- Shirley Confesses

Tuesday 11th August 2020

Good evening folks! Hope you have all had a good week! It's been another busy week for myself working and sorting things out for future possibilities! But enough about that, i'm back tonight with the follow up of the recent iconic episode. This episode I believe is the one where Shirley reveals to Mick that Dean is in actual fact, his brother! This episode was originally aired 26th December 2014! Oooo it looks as if the Carters were at centre stage during the Christmas episodes! Let's jump straight into it!

Okay, the episodes seems to start right in the heat of it all, I'm not 100% certain if Dean has already raped Linda? Was this the episode everything came out in the open? Was Mick out for revenge and Shirley couldn't let one son destroy the other? Mick is standing above Dean and Shirley is in tears as she says "He's your brother ... and I'm your Mum!" ... this was the first Mick had any idea about Shirley being his mother, all his life he had believed she was actually his sister! Understandably this was a huge shock to the Carter family ... it seems only those who knew were Sylvie and Aunt Babe! 

Ooooo remembering Aunt Babe gives me the chills! Do you guys remember how twisted and cruel she was? I'm sure she was a perfect villain during her time on the Square! And oh yes ... Stan and Sylvie, another two characters who sadly passed away on this soap! It's sad how many of the Carter family have left the soap, originally Shirley was the only one until the writers decided to bring in a family for her, she firstly had her son Deano (now known as Dean) and her daughter, Carly. Eventually they both left the square and in time along came Mick, Linda and their 3 children Lee, Nancy and Johnny, and of course Tina! Shirley has had many gripping story-lines but I think this one has to top them all, it was such a big reveal and I think everyone didn't expect it! Shirley reveals to the family that Mick's biological father is Buster, who just so happens to be Dean's father also. Poor Shirley tells everyone the story, she was pregnant at 14, a terrified teenager who was told to keep her pregnancy a secret. How much she wanted to tell Mick everyday that she was in actual fact his Mum. Mick can't seem to believe what he's hearing, he simply says to her "I'm not your boy! - That thing is not my brother, and if he is, it changes nothing!" 

Mick leaves the pub to escape the situation while Linda follows. The rest of the family are reeling from Shirley's confession, Stan recalls that it was when Sylvie and Babe took Shirley to a caravan, it was only meant to be for a week but they ended up staying longer, he can't believe himself that Sylvie and Babe made him believe that Mick was actually his! It's awful how many lives have been torn by this deep secret not just Mick's but Shirley's, Dean's and Stan's has all been a lie! I think this was the moment when the viewers came to really hate Babe, as she (if i'm not mistaken) was the one who thought of the plan in the first place, when Sylvie states she did what she had to do, Babe is throwing all sorts of insults at Stan - saying how he'd never realised they were gone in the first place and also throwing a dig in about how desperate he was to have a son. 

Linda joins Shirley outside, I guess as a Mother, she sympathies with Shirley, but then Shirley decides to throw it back in her face and says she blames Linda and say to Mick that everything was a mistake and none of it would've happened. She demands Shirley to collect her things and leave. She goes back inside the Vic and heads upstairs, Nancy then whispers to Lee that she can't understand why her Dad would want to rip into Dean, and Lee replies "He obviously did something to deserve it!" ... are the kids not yet aware of what Dean has done to their Mum? Has that secret not been revealed yet?! 

Meanwhile on other parts of the Square, Kat and Alfie are over at Stacey's having Christmas dinner with Tommy and Lily. Does anyone remember what is going on between Kat and Alfie during this time? There is quite a bit of tension between them at the dinner table. Where they not together at this point? Suddenly, the doorbell rings and Stacey goes to answer, it's revealed to be Linda wanting to speak to Stacey. She's actually looking for Mick but Stacey questions why Mick would be round at her house on Christmas Day, for then Linda to admit to Stacey that Mick knows about the rape. The scene then changes to Nick, Charlie and Ronnie all in Dot's kitchen ... what was the reason behind them wanting to get rid of Nick? They hand him an envelope full of cash before Dot enters the room, Nick then says that it's time for him to leave, which leaves poor Dot feeling crushed that her son has to leave so quickly on Christmas Day. I love that during Linda's ordeal, she befriended Stacey and she can completely understand how Linda is feeling, as it also happened to her. All the emotions Linda is going through, Stacey went through the exact same thing. It seems that talking to Stacey helped Linda immensely. Linda explains that Dean seems to think that it was consensual, and Stacey also explains that Dean is actually lying to himself. Linda shouldn't have to worry about Dean anymore and just focus on herself and Mick. Rape is always such a difficult subject to portray as there are so many ways it can go, and by that I mean ... the person who did the attack may or may never get caught. The one who was the victim, is left to feel so small and abused and violated and struggles to come to terms with what has happened to them. I think there have been quite a handful of women who have been raped in EastEnders ... Stacey, Kat, Linda, Little Mo, Ruby, Ronnie to name but a few. 

Dean is then seen in Denise's salon cleaning himself up, meanwhile Linda eventually catches up with Mick, she explains that Shirley has always been there for him regardless of the secrets she has kept, she tells him that perhaps in a few months time he'll be able to come to terms with Shirley being his Mum. But Mick states that Shirley hasn't even crossed his mind, the only thing that is going round and round in his head is Dean and what he did to his wife. Linda tries to persuade Mick that she can live with it, and that the only thing that worries and scares her is everyone finding out, especially their kids. As Shirley gets her bags together, Stan stops her and tells her to join him in the kitchen and he asks her if she remembers everything, he starts to reminisce and recalls when they brought baby Mick home, and how so unhappy Shirley looked as she stood by the car in the pouring rain and watched as her baby was brought into the family. I guess Stan also sympathises with Shirley as he too has been lied too, believing Mick was his. He asks as to why she never told him once her mother had left, but Shirley claims that Mick was the one thing that made him happy, how could she ruin that for her Dad? Then, Stan says how much he wishes Sylvie had never done that, Shirley reveals that she didn't want her to go through with it in the first place, then it clicks - to the both of them, Babe!!! Babe was the one behind it all and the cause of such a horrible secret!

Eventually the Vic is then opened up for the locals, Phil, Sharon, Ian and Jane and everyone make their way into the pub. Mick and Linda arrive to see everyone in their boozer, poor Linda looks at Mick with worrying eyes but he plants a kiss on her lips to put her at ease and tells her everything will be okay. Upstairs of the Vic, Stan and Shirley go into the living room where Sylvie, Tina and Babe are sitting. Stan demands Babe to leave! He's disgusted with what she has done to the family, he reveals everything to Tina. I think this is the moment we also see the fact they Babe has been twisting everybody's mind, manipulating them ... even Sylvie. She looks over at Sylvie for backup but she remains silent. Shirley is even looking at Babe with daggers, she remembers how much Babe was behind it all. Babe is acting all innocent claiming that she was the one who kept the family together and that if it wasn't for her, Mick would've been sent to an orphanage. 

Mick then makes his return to the Vic, wanting to know why Shirley was still there. This is when Stan pleads to them all to try and talk it through as a family should, I don't think I liked Stan to begin with, but over time and especially during this episode - its as if he was being the rock of the family. The one who was speaking to reason, trying to make Mick understand that Shirley is also a victim in this scenario. Mick might've been given a huge blow as to who his parents are, but Shirley was also the one who had to suffer in silence for years and years. He's even trying to support his daughter, Shirley ... when he says the words to Mick, "That's your Mum standing there!" ... Mick's eyes begin to tear up, okay she's not his sister, but I don't think he loves her any less! Only thing that seems to go wrong then, is for Stan to claim to Mick that he has a brother, that minor fact makes Mick's stomach turn and he basically states he wants nothing to do with Dean! Tina begs Mick to explain what it is that Dean has done wrong so they can sort it as a family .... Oh yes, and even Shirley claims to Mick that Linda was lying ... during this heated discussion Linda is making her way up the stairs and she hears everything that is being said as she hides behind the door, then - clear as day, Mick shouts at Shirley "Your son raped her! Your son raped my wife!" - after promising he wouldn't tell the family, Linda listens and looks in horror as the secret she has kept has been revealed to other members of the family. 

Mick then realises he's made a huge mistake by blurting it out to the family. He demands that Tina and Stan keep the information to themselves and don't treat Linda any differently. Meanwhile Dean goes knocking on Stacey's door asking for shelter as he has nowhere to go. It's interesting as they were once friends, years and years ago. Stacey would not want anything to do with him now, now she knows about him attacking Linda! Shirley then decides to leave the Vic quietly, without causing a scene. She bumps into Dean and they both hug in floods of tears, Dean is in despair asking his Mum what to do. Mick then finds out from Lee that Linda had been upstairs during the conversation he had with the other members of the family, it becomes clear to him that she possibly could've heard him reveal her secret, after promising to keep it to himself. He calls for her and goes in the bedroom only to find her ring on the dressing table. Where had she gone? Is her now panicking that he could've lost his wife after obeying her trust? He then makes his way downstairs and demands everyone to leave, pushing everyone out of the pub and throwing the Queen Victoria bust over the bar. He's clearly in deep distress and anger that he can't control his actions ... reeling over Dean, the news about Shirley being his mother and now Linda disappearing. He smashes everything to pieces, even throwing a stool and punching a piece of glass on the wall. Poor Lee looks on in shock as he too has no idea what has caused his Dad to lash out in such a way. Dean and Shirley watch as people flee from the Vic, Linda is then seen walking away with a suitcase in hand! Is she leaving the Square? Is she leaving Mick for good? At that point in time - we didn't know! Mick slumps onto the floor as his family watch, he holds his wife's ring in his bloodied hands. 

This episode was a big Boxing Day aftermath of Shirley's reveal from the day before. Luckily Linda did return and Dean got his comeuppance. Mick accepted the fact that Shirley was his Mum and over time he understood what she went through as a young teenager and eventually it all got turned round on Babe! They blamed her for everything and eventually removed her from the family. I remember now, for a long period of time, Shirley believed Dean. She was backing Dean's story, it's true that Shirley and Linda had never seen eye-to-eye from the beginning, but I think this was the time when Shirley and Linda fell out the most. Shirley couldn't believe what Linda had said ... Shirley could not and would not believe that her son was a rapist. This did last for quite a while, a couple of months maybe? Eventually Shirley did come to realise that Mick and Linda had been telling the truth and Dean eventually paid for his crimes after getting away with it for so long! During their time on the Square, the Carters have become such an iconic family ... they've been through so much since moving to Walford, but something tells me they've got many more story-lines to come! I want to applaud Danny Dyer and Linda Henry in this episode, they were both absolutely brilliant! 

I also have some news to share with you this evening, as far as i'm aware the next iconic episode to be aired next week is going to be Pat & Frank's Affair! If I remember rightly, that was the episode in which Peggy reads out Frank's letter to her to everyone in the Vic, Pat and Frank are stood next to her as she reads it out and she lays a slap on each of them! I'm looking forward to re-watching that episode! In other news, it has been revealled that finally our favourite soap has been given a date to when it'll be back on air ... Monday 7th September is when EastEnders will be back on our TV screens! Okay the episodes will only be 20 minutes long, but we will be back to 4 episodes a week! I for one am incredibly excited to see what's in store. A lot of spoilers have been revealed in recent weeks ... Is little Amy Mitchell going to be accused of lying? Is something dark going to be revealed or visited from Denise's past? Will Chantelle's abuse from Gray finally be revealed? And also - the return of Kim Fox!!!! I hope you all have a fantastic weekend! I'll be back next week following the next iconic EastEnders episode! Thank you guys! Look after yourselves! xXx

[caitsbooks]

12 LGBTQ+ Reads 

IT’S PRIDE MONTH!!! The best month of the year!!! In celebration, I’ve compiled a list of 12 amazing LGBTQ+ reads that are perfect if you’re looking to read the rainbow this month.

These are a mix of my personal favorites, plus some that I’m dying to read.

Read more for details on each book!

Blog || Goodreads || Bookstagram || Twitter  || Reviews

YA Contemporary

AUTOBOYOGRAPHY BY CHRISTINA LAUREN

Tanner Scott moved from California to Utah, and from being out of the closet as bisexual, to temporarily back in. He can’t wait to graduate and get out of Utah, but when his best friend convinces him to enroll in his high school’s prestigious Seminar class, where students attempt to draft a book in a semester, he meets Sebastian Brother.

Autoboyography has everything you could want in a YA contemporary, adorable romance, great family relationships, and memorable characters, however, what really makes it stand out to me is how well it handles religion.

“A God worthy of your eternal love wouldn’t judge you for who you love while you’re here.”

QUEENS OF GEEK BY JEN WILDE

Queens of Geek follows two perspectives. Taylor is a nerdy girl on the autism spectrum, and secretly in love with one of her best friends, Jamie. Charlie is a bisexual vlogger and actress promoting her next movie. When the three friends go to SupaCon, Charlie discovers her long-time crush on a fellow actress may not be unrequited, and Taylor must decide whether or not to keep playing it safe.

“You can’t pick and chose whose equality you support.”

SIMON VS. THE HOMO SAPIENS AGENDA BY BECKY ALBERTALLI

On the off-chance you haven’t heard of this book, or the movie, Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda is about Simon Spier, a closeted teen in high school, who’s private emails to the anonymous “Blue” get discovered by one of his classmates. Simon will do anything to keep them from being shared, outing him and scaring Blue away.

This book is pretty hyped, but I had to include it on the list (however, if you’ve already read it but want more like it- check out What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera).

“Why is straight the default? Everyone should have to declare one way or another, and it shouldn’t be this big awkward thing whether you’re straight, gay, bi, or whatever. I’m just saying.”

[Related: Autoboyography by Christina Lauren (Review)]

YA Sci-Fi/Fantasy

OF FIRE AND STARS (OF FIRE AND STARS #1) BY AUDREY COULTHURST

Princess Dennaleia has been betrothed to the prince of Mynaria since childhood, but she has a secret that could threaten the alliance. She possesses an Affinity for fire- but magic is forbidden in the prince’s kingdom. While trying to hide her magic, she must also learn the ways of Mynaria- including learning horseback riding from her betrothed’s sister, Mare. When an assassination shocks the kingdom, Mare and Denna must join forces to solve the puzzle, however, as their friendship grows into something more, conflicts grow that make the alliance between the two kingdoms crucial.

“An Affinity, much like a heart, cannot be changed.”

ASH BY MALINDA LO

After her father dies, Ash is left with her cruel stepmother. Consumed with grief, she dreams of fairies stealing her away. Her wish is close to being granted when she meets the dangerous fairy Sidhean. However, then she meets Kaisa, the King’s Huntress, and their friendship reawakens her desire to live and love. Claimed by Sidhean, Ash is forced to choose between her dreams and her love.

I’m ashamed to admit that I still haven’t read this book yet. However, it’s such a staple in the LGBTQ+ YA community that I had to include it here, and I’m really hoping to dive into it soon.

“To charge someone with love is a great responsibility; there will be an equal yet unexpected reaction.”

THE GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO VICE AND VIRTUE (MONTAGUE SIBLINGS #1) BY MACKENZI LEE

Monty has vowed that his Grand Tour of Europe will be a time for parties, gambling, and all of his favorite types of fun with his best friend and “the unrequited love of his life”, Percy. He’s determined to still enjoy it even though his younger sister joins him. However, the trip takes a turn when his reckless decisions lead to a manhunt across Europe, and threaten the relationship with the one person who matters most to him.

“I’ve always been of the mind that subtlety is a waste of time. Fortune favors the flirtatious.”

[Related: The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee (Review)]

2019 Releases

ONCE AND FUTURE (ONCE AND FUTURE #1) BY AMY ROSE CAPETTA AND CORI MCCARTHY

I honestly can’t describe this better than the synopsis from Goodreads: “When Ari crash-lands on Old Earth and pulls a magic sword from its ancient resting place, she is revealed to be the newest reincarnation of King Arthur. Then she meets Merlin, who has aged backward over the centuries into a teenager, and together they must break the curse that keeps Arthur coming back. Their quest? Defeat the cruel, oppressive government and bring peace and equality to all humankind. No pressure.”

“I think people need heroes. I think you're a hero. It's that simple to me.”

I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST BY MASON DEAVER

Ben is thrown out of their house after coming out to their parents as nonbinary. Struggling with anxiety, Ben focuses on just surviving their new school, until Nathan decides to take Ben under his wing. As their friendship grows and develops into something more, Ben realizes they might have a chance at a new, better life.

“Guess we need to talk, huh? Because I can’t exactly call you my boyfriend, can I?” I hadn’t even thought about that. “I guess not,” I say. “Is partner a little too cowboy for you?” I tip an imaginary cowboy hat. “Yee haw.”

SMALL TOWN HEARTS BY LILLIE VALE

Babe thought this summer would be dedicated to spending time with her friends before they leave for college, but when one mistake causes the three of them to break up, and her ex-girlfriend comes back to town, her chances of having the summer she dreamed about are slim. But when Levi arrives for the summer, Babe knows she shouldn’t get close to him. After all, he’ll be leaving come fall, but keeping her distance is becoming harder and harder.

“Because the strength of a lighthouse is from its being alone. From being a beacon of light in the darkness, a finger showing you which way is home.”

[Related: Interview with Lillie Vale, Author of Small Town Hearts]

Extras!

THE PRINCE AND THE DRESSMAKER BY JEN WANG

[Genre: YA Graphic Novel]

Prince Sebastian’s parents are looking for a bride for him. Sebastian, however, is too busy hiding his secret life, where he puts on daring dresses as Lady Crystallia. Frances is his secret dressmaker, but she her dreams are too bright to stay hidden. How long can she ignore them to help her friend?

“Some days I look at myself in the mirror and think, “That’s me, Prince Sebastian! I wear boy clothes and look like my father.’ Other days it doesn’t feel right at all. Those days I feel like I’m actually a princess.”

GEORGE BY ALEX GINO

[Genre: Middle Grade Contemporary]

“When people look at George, they think they see a boy. But she knows she’s not a boy. She knows she’s a girl.” When George’s teacher announces that their class will be putting on the play Charlotte’s Web, George dreams of playing Charlotte, but her teacher says she can’t try out for the part because she’s a boy. So George and her best friend come up with a plan, not only to play Charlotte, but to show the world who she truly is.

“George stopped. It was such a short, little question, but she couldn’t make her mouth form the sounds. Mom, what if I’m a girl?”

RED, WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE BY CASEY MCQUISTON

[Genre: New Adult/Adult Romance]

Alex, First Son of the United States, has always hated Prince Henry. But when a confrontation between the two of them cause a stir in the press, he’s forced to fake a friendship with his nemesis. Except, Prince Henry isn’t what he thought. Alex must battle his mother’s political opponents, his own dreams of working in politics, and his growing feelings for the Prince he used to despise. However, a secret relationship with Henry could cause serious problems for his mothers reelection campaign, and Alex must decide what he’s willing to sacrifice.

“But the truth is, also, simply this: love is indomitable.”

[Related: Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston – The Perfect Read for Pride Month (Review)]

I’m hoping to read more LGBTQ+ books before this month ends (and just in general, because everyone’s life needs to be a little gayer), so do you have any recommendations? What’s your favorite LGBTQ+ book?

Blog || Goodreads || Bookstagram || Twitter  || Reviews

[mydaydreams]

Nudies

Sum: Your nude gets out and it may or not be Sebastian's Fault. 

{Shorty short story} just short and cute. 

Warnings: Super FLUFF, a lil corny, Drunk Sex, crazed fans, Crazy Paps, time line is totally off!

the Day had started out Perfect, but that was only because I didn’t know what hap happened yet. 

the night before however had been the best night on my life. it was the Premier of Infinity war and it was the night after 14 long months of being together you could finally come out and say you were in a relationship with the one and only Sebastian Stan. and that was just the first bit of the best night ever.

It started with my first ever Red Carpet walk. me and Seb were to show up Separately, enter at separate ends and meet in the middle for the big reveal. Sebastian had to literally train me to help the strain that was going to be on my eyes because of all the flashing. 

I was not happy with showing up separately but I got over it. Seb just wanted to show me off finally and I was so Happy about it. he had me in a extremely expensive dress with even more expensive heals. the dress was a Red silk open back dress with a slit down the leg. the heals were red bottom Silver stiletto heals. I felt so out of place. I mean the Dress cost more than my first Car. 

I slowly took my first step on the red Carpet and immediately I was bombarded with questions. Who am I, who was I wearing, how did I get it, how did I get invited, what was my part in the movie, or who did I come with. 

I didn’t answer any question given to me. I was doing as I was told. Stan’s agent friend or whoever the guy was literally told me to stand there and look pretty and I was gonna do just that. I strutted a few feet onto the Carpet and turned towards the Cameras once, showing them my good side. I walked a few more step and turned a little and leaned my head back so they could get a shot of my face with the back of my dress.

I had to say honestly I was loving this. especially in the dress, I felt absolutely fabulous. people were tell me so as well. I walked through the crowed of Stars and made my way to the middle. I wasn’t bothering talking to the other famous people walking around. I was only here for one person, and I was on the hunt for him. 

I smiled at all of the passing Stars. they had all given me confused looks as well all wondering who the fuck I am and why I was here. I was screaming on the inside. I held my self with complete confidence as I posed for another picture. I was surprised people were actually taking my picture considering the fact that they all had no clue at all who I was. I guess they just figured since I was there they might need the pics. 

I bit my lip playfully while sticking my leg out of the slit of the dress giving them a good picture. 

“There’s My Girl!” I heard his melodious voice ring out over all the flashing. I blushed and turned towards him. 

This is it. this has to be perfect. he slid his feet back on the carpet while holding his hands out to me. I brought my lip back in between my lips as I started moving towards him. 

“Come on Baby!” he yelled again earning a laugh from me. I smiled and started fast walking to him and into his welcoming arms. he lifted my body up into the air for a moment my smile couldn’t get any bigger. I slowly slid down his body and back to my feet while he caught my lips against his. I melted into him like usual. we stood there for atleast 15 seconds just kissing. 

I'm the one that pulled away. 

“I think that got the Picture babe.” I said looking at him and resting my hand on his chest. he caught my wrist in he hand and brought it to his lips. I blushed hard. 

“I’m Sorry Doll, I just really wanted them to get the picture.” he laughed. I shook my head at him at the pet name. 

“Okay Bucky!” I said kissing his lips once more before we turned towards the press. it was So Bright and Questions were being thrown at us left and right and we didn’t answer one of them. we just posed again and again.

Seb took me around the Carpet for a few more shots before the event was over. after word we were invited to a fancy pants hotel for an ‘ exclusive’ After Party with the cast and crew all for the cast and crew. they had rented the entire hotel out for all the stars and there was a Fat party forming in the ball room. I had never even been inside a ball room before. 

I went on with the party at full swing. Seb had introduced me to every one by now. and I had to say I was pretty fucking star struck after meeting Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Bennet. it was the most amazing experience. I couldn’t contain my joy. 

after a long chat with Tom Holland I found My man at the bar Nursing a brandy glass in his hands. his fingers shook on the glass slightly making my head tilt back in confusion. what was he so nervous about?

he smiled when he saw me and he pulled me to his side. he leaned his forehead against my temple and whispered to me. “I can’t wait to get you up to our room.” a shiver went down my spine. Oh! 

I bit my lip and pushed my body into him before asking for a drink. I couldn’t wait to get back to the room either. fuck the things I wanted to do to him after the amazing night we have had. 

he laughed with me before continuing to speak. “I'm about to do something really stupid baby.” he said kissing my forehead. I looked up at him curious. “and what would that be?” I asked. he snapped up his eyebrows at me and grabbed my hand pulling me to the platform in the middle of the ballroom where the band was playing. he shushed them and was handed the microphone. I shook my head at him confused as he pulled me to his chest. 

“Hello everybody..” he greeted I smiled wide “Seb your not going to start kareokie are you? I mean as much as I love your acting, the singing could use some work.” I joked the microphone catching my voice echoing throuout the room. everyone laughed. Sab snorted out a goofy laugh before shaking his head. 

he turned towards the crowed and began speaking. 

“All right! as you all know...well know now. this Amazingly beautiful women right here is my girlfriend and believe it or not we have actually been together for a year and a half now I believe.” he started looking to me for clarification. I nodded at him wanting him to continue. 

“Well since this is a room full of people I can trust. I believe that you guys will not leak this out to the world until we are ready. but I really had to do this now, today, right at this moment.” I looked at him confused. he bit his lip nervously before turning his whole body towards me. 

“we have been together for a pretty good while, and it was killing me to keep such a perfect person a secret from the world for so long. and now that we are finally out...baby I wanna do this all the way.” he closed his eyes for a moment and I could feel my heart thump in my ears. 

“I don’t have a ring yet, and I know its not the best time or the most romantic proposal, but...”  my heart stopped and my eyes bugged out of my head as loud gasps echoed across the room. 

“Will you Marry me Y/N?” he asked me softly holding one of my hands up placing it over his heart. I huffed.

“Sebastian Stan, I left you for 10 minutes and your already this plastered?” I asked him a smile on my face. he cant be serious. he closed his eyes for a minute but cracked a smile. 

“Babe I swear I have only had one drink...” he trailed off. my mouth hung open. wait then... did that mean he’s forreal? 

“Come one baby say something. my hearts hanging up here.” he said softly and I knew it was true. I could feel his heart beating irregularly under my palm. 

“This...is this real?” I managed to choke out and smiled and nodded his head yes. 

I returned his nod placing my other hand on his chest.

“Yes! yes yes! Sebastian Stan I will Marry you!!!!” my voice shaking. everyone cheered as a huge grin covered half of his face. he dropped the mic and pulled me in for a long and deep kiss. 

After about an hour of being drunk with complete and utter hippieness Stan Pulled me out and onto the dance floor. he wrapped his arms around me as we swayed to Love Lies by Khalid.  

he spun me around the room to Charlie Puth’s Done for me and sung the song a bit in my ears. it was about some bitch that he would give his world up for but the girls a bitch. but I knew the song obviously didn’t apply to us. he just sand in my ears “I’d Lie for you babe, Die for you baby, Cry for you baby.” and fuck it really had my engines running. 

we sat at the bar together and I just had to ask him again. “are you sure you want to marry me?” I asked sucking down my forth drink that night. I was pretty buzzed right now but not drunk quite yet. him though completely hammered now touched his temple for a minute. “Hhmmmm. I don’t know! maybe fuckk yes I'm sure!” he said burping his last word. I giggled leaning in to kiss him. “Fuck I love you!” he whispered against my lips. 

butterfly's erupted in my stomach. I mumbled an “I Love you!” on his lip when he bit onto it. I laughed again and pulled away from him. “don't do any of that till we get the the room.” I hissed at him and looked over my shoulder to see If someone was watching. 

“SHOTS FOR THE NEWLY WEDS!” a drunk Robert yelled loudly clamping a hand on Seb’s shoulder. he snorted “we aren't newly weds till we actually get married. but ill take the shot!” he said downing it in one go. I rolled my eyes and downed a shot as well. “WOOO!” Robert said placing another one in front of me. I smiled at him and sucked it down. “Damn! got you a girl who drinks just as much as you do!” he commented placing another in front of me challenging me. I smirked and shot it back. Seb patted my back and smirked back at me. I bit my lip and kissed him. “WOO!” Robert yelled again turning around to the others. I laughed and looked at Sebastian. “So that was Robert Downey Jr!” I stated he laughed drunkenly and nodded. “he’s a real Wooo girl!” he said looking at him in the crowd. I smiled and nodded agreeing with him. if I wasn’t drunk before, I was defiantly drunk now. 

Sebastian leaned over the bar and Grabbed a random bottle and grabbed my hand pulling me swiftly out of my chai and down through the crowd. “I'm getting you upstairs and undressed now.” he said kissing my hand tapping the bottom o the elevator. I giggled and stumbled into the elevator with him.

he undid the ties on the back of my dress in the elevator and when we finally made our way to the room he kissed along my spine on my bare back. I shivered as we pushed our way into our suite. 

inside Seb walked over to the bar in the room and grabbed glassed for us. I however had the bottle now in my hands. I walked over to the stereo in the corner of the room and turned the radio on. 

I danced around the room for a minute my dress falling down my front leaving my breasts completely bare. my silk red lace panties on the other hand perfectly cupped my ass. I was so proud of the undies. I had actually found a pair that matched my dress. Seb pulled his jacket off swinging it over a near by chair as I opened the bottle in my hands. I put it to my lips and took a harsh sip from the tip. 

the shit burned but I was to drunk to care. I stepped out of the dress on the floor. my heels clicked against the marble floor as I walked to the radio to turn it up louder. my newest favorite song Boo’d Up by Ella Mai was on and I swayed my hips to it dancing with the bottle. I looked up at Sebastian, his phone was out and he was videoing me dancing.

 I smiled and turned around to sway my but from left to right before turning back around to look at him. I sang into the bottle like it was a microphone and began singing the song to him. 

“it just wont stop it go. how many ways can I say that I need you baby its Truuuooooo.” I sang moving my legs from left to right. 

“bada boo’d up baby I do, boo’d up! grab me by the waist baby pull me closer!” I sand walking over to him pouring our glasses. 

“oooh and ill never get over you until I find something neww to get me high like you doo!” I flipped my hair back moving my hips harder from left to right.

he continued to video and take pictures of me and I didn’t care. it wasn’t like he didn’t have 700 other naked pics of me on his phone. 

we drank and danced some more before I pulled his belt off of his pants and yanked is dress shirt off. 

“Jeffery, just graduated ,fresh on campus. mmm fresh out east Atlanta with no manners.” I danced against Stan, my back pressed against his front, as Havana Played in the back ground. 

after a few more drinks I stumbled in the tall heals and sat down on the marbel floor and extended my leg to try to pull the shoe off. a flash went off and I knew he was taking more pictures. I bit my lip and looked up at the camera for him. he smirked and sank down to the ground with me. I smiled as he sat at my feet and pulled the straps of my heals and smoothly pulled them off of each foot.

i smiled as he opened my legs and pulled me to him on the ground making me slid on the smooth floor. i crawled up and over him getting on his lap and pushing his chest down so his back was flat on the cool floor. 

he shivered as I ground against him. the bulge in his pants rubbed painfully on my covered clit. I moaned and leaned down to kiss him. he hummed and pulled my hips down on him harder. 

“I cant wait to marry you.” he whispered against my neck. my body turned red and my heart warmed. “Cant wait to call you my wife.” he said unzipping his dress pants. he pulled himself from his pants and handed him to me. I rubbed up and down his length before leaning upward and sinking myself on him.

his head swung back and his mouth fell open with a loud throaty moan. I smirked and moved my hips back and forth on him. he bucked up into me causing me to scream out. he had hit the most perfect spot in me. 

he took a tight hold on my hips making me stop my movements.  he lifted my body up slightly and fucked into me. I threw my head back and closed my eyes. sloppy drunk sex is always the best sex.

“Seb, do that thing where you...” he pulled his legs up and let my back lean against them as he fucked up, harder and harder. “mmmm, yea!” I moaned as he took two fist full of my breasts. with his hands on my breast I took the chance to begin bouncing on top of him. 

I planted my hands firmly on the tops of each of his shoulders and leaned against his legs. I used the extra momentum to come up higher on him to drop harder around him. that earned a loud manly groan from him as I hopped on him up and down. he cursed and bit at my exposed skin.

I clenched tightly around him as I came sloppily around him. he moaned as his cum shot through me. leaned down to kiss him.

I rolled off of him with a loud sigh. after a few minutes of laying on the cold floor Seb finally stood up and scooped me into his arms to carry me to bed. 

when we shuffled through the bed sheets finaly getting comfortable he moved my hair out of my face and whispered into my ear. “Happy first anniversary!” I smiled over at him “Anniversary of what?” I asked. he smirked and kissed me “oh I don’t know, our engagement.” he said kissing my finger where his ring will soon be fit. I giggled at him and hid my face behind his arm. he kissed me and hummed. “all we need now is a big fat ring!”

…

last night had been the best night of my life, but of course the next day came and we had to go our separate ways until meeting again tonight. we were going to meet after his pod cast interview. the day had gone on pretty normally. I had gotten off of work on time and headed for coffee. I took my normal jog through the park. his interview should be starting soon so i was gonna drop by my place after and pick up clothing for what ever Sabastian would be doing tonight. 

every thing was fine until the paparazzi found me.

I had just finished my run and was headed for the park exit when a guy In plaid began following me and taking my pictures, I didn't care. I knew officially coming out in public about me and Seb, I knew this was going to end up happening and I had to say getting my picture taken this much was kinda flattering. 

I ran my hand across the top of my forehead collecting the sweat from it and whipping it away on my work out shorts as cameras flashed at me. I kind of smiled at them as they basically walked me out to the parking lot. 

I was about to get into the car when the question was thrown at me. 

“Why don’t you take your top off for us?” someone yelled at me. I gave the camera men a ‘wtf’ look. why would they even ask me that. “Yea we would love to see those tits again.” another spoke. I caulked my head to the side. 

wait what does he mean again.

“What?” I asked one of the closer ones. a girl held a camera up to take a close up shot of my face. I looked at her. “What are they talking about?” I asked. she smirked and pulled her phone out and pulled up Instagram. “Sabastian Stan’s Instagram. he posted a video last night.” she said showing me her screen. my eyes shot open as I watched the little clip of me on her phone. I was in our hotel room with a bottle in hand and I was swaying my body from side to side. my chest was bare and the only thing covering me was a black laced thong and shiny silver heels. 

oh my god no, that's my body. oh my god those are my breasts. oh my god over half the world has probably seen them by now.

 fuck we were so drunk last night, how could this happen. 

I shook my head and pushed the phone back into her hands. flashes were going off everywhere around me it was almost blinding. I pulled my phone out to try and call him but he didn’t answer. I cursed and hopped into my car. people were starting to crowed my car now. 

“Fuck” I yelled as people banged against the glass of my car windows. 

God what the fuck is happening. 

I pulled out my phone and dialed him again. he picked up. 

“hey, Y/N we are on air with...” I cut him off.

“Sebastian Fucking Stan Why the Fuck are My Tits Posted up on your Fucking Instagram.” I shouted turning my car on.

he was about to speak when I cut him off again.

“Jesus Seb, we just let the world know we are together and you gotta put the cherry on top and show everyone whose breasts you have your face in between 50% of the time.” I cursed again trying to pull out of my parking spot as people continued to crowed my car.

“Seb, did you know I have papz crawling up my ass now saying shit like ‘ooo hey mommy take your top off for us again.’ god and I'm literally, as we speak I am being crowed by like 24 lil mother fuckers with camera’s. Seb what the fuck were you thinking?” I practically yelled. 

I didn’t let him start. I let out a long annoyed sigh as he said my name. 

“Listen babe, I know we were super drunk last night and Its not like I'm saying you have to delete the pictures...oh and the emm, video's off your phone, but babe you have to take my fucking tits off the internet.” 

I pulled my hair out of my face when I finally pulled out of the parks parking lot. effectively getting away from all the Paps. 

“this is so humiliating, I mean Jesus Seb you might have well posted up one of our sex tapes.” I  said rounding the next corner on my way home. 

“Sex tape?” I heard a new voice say over his phone.

“Sex tapes apparently. plural ,as in more than one.” someone else said. 

“Baby we are on the air, over 14,000 people are on line. we are still In the interview.” Sebastian’s voice rang through my phones speakers. I slapped my hand against my forehead. 

oh my god I did not. I did not just let al those people know Seb motor boats me on the regular and that we not only have naked pictures but also videos of us.

“Oh my god Seb why didn't you warn me.” I said pathetically into the phone as the men hosting the pod cast continued to laugh there asses off. 

“I’m sorry baby I....” I cut him off yet again.

I couldn’t help myself. I had grown livid. my body was just exposed to half of the world and not only that but the full and complete embarrassment of me and Sebastian's fairly kinky sex life was now out in the open as well. how was I ever going to live this down. what were my friends going to think, my boss and coworkers..., fuck and my parents. 

I let out a high pitched broken sound into the phone as my hand came up to my face. 

“I can’t believe, Stan why, how....” i rambled before finally saying “Sebastian Stan....We will speak about this when you get home. I suggest you get here fairly quickly!” I said threateningly into the phone before hanging up.

-----

Seb stepped through my apartment door about an hour and a half later.

I gave him a look as he walked into my room with his hands up. I rolled my eyes at him as he began talking.

“Baby, I swear I was so drunk I...” I stopped him. 

“So Drunk you took a Video of my tits and Showed them to the whole fucking world!” I yelled. he closed his eyes for a moment as my voice went up. 

“Babe, you were just really hot last night and I couldn’t help myself. I don’t know how I posted the video babe I...” I waved my hand in front of him. 

“you don’t know how, Seb you pulled up insta put it on the camera function took a video them Fucking posted it up for the fucking world to see. Fuck Seb you should have just posted our sex tape.” I screeched. he flinched. 

my hand flew over my heart in shock, as if it was the first time I ws figuring out that my body had been seen by half the world. “My nudes Seb, my Nudies!” I said he sucked in a small laugh. “Nudies?” he asked. I slapped his arm.

“And then the damn phone call on the pod cast...What the fuckk Sebastian.” he shook his head at me and gabbed my arms. “babe, I know I know.” he said trying to calm me. 

“you know? you know?” I asked pointing at him and poking my finger in his chest. 

“you know how completely humiliating it is to have your body exploited by your own boyfriend...or wait I'm sorry, fiancé!” I yelled correcting my self before rolling my eyes. fuck he was so drunk he probably forgot about that. “Do you know you asked me to marry you last night? if front of everyone, or were you to drunk to remember?” I asked his eyes shot open and he looked at me for a minute. 

he smirked at me for a minute before pulling something from his back pocket. 

“Yea I remember! of course I remember. I could never forget you!” he said sweetly before showing me the small box in his hand. 

my hands covered my mouth. 

whoa! what?

my heart stopped. 

“I do know we were super drunk last night, but I also know that I meant what I said. this morning I spent 3 hours at a ring place. I figured, the perfect girl had to go with the perfect ring, and the guy in the store said this was it. what do you think? do you like It....do you...do you still want my ring?” he asked nervously pulling my hand up next to the box. 

my eyes were wide open looking at the fattest Dimond I had ever seen. 

“Seb..” I started looking down at the ring them at his eyes. he had his plump upper lip in between his teeth. 

worry covered his face as I went over my options. what about today, what about half of the world seeing me basically naked. but why would this matter. why would any of this matter if I didn’t have him. he didn’t care people were gushing over my tits. he just wanted to gush over my tits for the rest of his life. my heart warmed. rest of his life. 

I pulled my hand up and slipped the ring onto my ring finger, where it would sit for the rest of his life. our life.

“Of course I still want to, of course I want your ring Sebastian.” I said as tears burned my eyes.  he smiled and pulled my face to his kissing me deeply. he pulled away from me and pressed his forehead to mine. he laughed for a moment and pecked my lips again. 

I smiled and bit my lip. “What?” I asked him softly as his fingered ran up and down my arms. 

“if nothing, I was just thinking about last night. I-I thought last night was the best night of my life...but today, I think today takes the cake.” he said scooping my up into his arms. I giggled as he walked us throughout my apartment finding my bedroom. 

I just smiled to myself on the way there and twirled his ring around my finger.

fuck this rock is FAT!!

[missslothy]

Jot it down July H50 Fic - Home Comforts

Title: Home Comforts Rating: Teen Summary: Set a couple of seasons in the future. Grace has just left on a three month trip. Written for Jot it down July. It’s Fluff Friday (with a little bit of angst thrown in :)) ***************** “It’s raining, Steve.” Danny sighs. The sigh speaks volumes. “Why am I not surprised?” Steve rolls his eyes at Danny because he knows that’s what he’ll expect. Danny ignores him. Instead, he rests his chin on his knees, huddling into himself. Lips turned down, he stares out of the entrance of the small cave they’re in. A rain drop hangs off the end of his nose, as escapee from his sopping wet hair. His dark blue tee-shirt - which just fifteen minutes earlier had been bone dry - is sodden and sticking to his skin, emphasising the muscular build of his back and shoulders. His jeans are clinging too, accentuating the firm curve of his ass. Steve drags his gaze away. Turning his attention to the world outside he grimaces. Dark clouds are hanging low over the mountains. They’re in for a long wait before they can head out again. There are advantages to having shorter hair, he thinks, getting to his feet. He scrubs at it one handed, getting rid of the worst of the rain. The other hand he uses to pick up his rucksack. Leaving Danny to his thoughts, he heads further into the cave. The roof’s sloped so after a few steps he’s crouching. It looks like there’s enough floor space to sleep. As much as a night under the stars would make him happy, he knows Danny wouldn’t feel the same. And Danny’s already had a shit week. So he tips the contents of his rucksack on the floor and starts work on delivering some home comforts. He’s bought a mini gas burner, a metal pot to heat water in and a supply of Danny’s favourite ground coffee. His plan had been to hike to the top of the mountain and lift Danny’s mood with the jaw-dropping view and his favourite brew. This might not have been the way he’d seen the day going but he’s pretty sure he can rescue this. Danny stirs, looks back over his shoulder as the water finally starts to boil. Steve flashes him an encouraging grin. The stiff half-smile Danny manages in return before turning his attention back to the scenery isn’t quite what he was hoping for but it’s a start. The weekend before they’d waved Grace off at the airport. She was on her way to England for a three-month study exchange trip. Danny had been wandering around the house and the office like a ghost ever since, not concentrating on anything. Trying to console him by saying it was only twelve weeks until she’d be back had backfired: Danny had stuck a countdown on the fridge that started at 92 days. Waking up on day three of the countdown, Steve had decided to take matters into his own hands. So here they were on day four, at the top of the mountain. Drenched. And still despondent. Danny had been surprisingly pliant when Steve had pulled his trekking shoes out of the closet that morning in an unsubtle hint at the days’ activity. Steve had hidden his disappointment at the lack of reaction and soldiered on. Back in the day, when he’d often had to wave Mary goodbye at the airport, he’d inwardly moped for days until the hollow feeling in his heart reduced to a dull ache. Grace might not be his daughter, but he understands Danny’s pain. The house does seem empty without her. Even with Charlie still visiting at weekends it won’t be the same. Opening the tub of ground coffee, he carefully spoons it into the pot. Instantly the rich aroma of coffee rises, cutting through the damp smell in the cave. Steve waves through the steam, encouraging it to dissipate. Inhaling deeply, he hums in appreciation. It takes a few minutes but gradually, like a flower in the morning sun, Danny slowly unfurls. Lifting his chin, he sniffs the air. With a groan of discomfort, he gets to his feet. “Is that what I think it is?” He asks, stretching his arms so his fingertips just touch the roof of the cave. “If that’s my favourite Kona, I’m gonna love you forever, babe.” Steve tells himself to ignore the way Danny’s tee has ridden up, to reveal a line of dark hair. There’s no need to hurry: he got‘s plans for tomorrow too. Instead, he wafts the steam with his hand again. The aroma’s even stronger: nutty, with a bite that hits on the back of his tongue. Instantly, Danny drops to the ground beside him. He doesn’t say anything else. He doesn’t need to: his raised eyebrows and grabby hands do all the talking for him. Steve’s grinning as he pours the coffee into two metal mugs he’s got stashed in his rucksack. Despite outward appearances, Danny is actually a man who loves his simple pleasures. Steve considers it his mission in life to provide those pleasures for him. Blowing on the hot brew, Steve takes a cautious sip. It’s not the best tasting mug of coffee he’s ever made in the field. It’s not the way he planned the day to work out either. But as Danny shuffles up beside him, his nose buried in his mug, Steve thinks there is nowhere else he’d rather be. They sit in silence, drinking their coffee. Danny stretches his legs out, slipping his shoes off with his toes. They come off with a wet squelch. Danny grimaces. As if adding insult to injury his stomach grumbles. “Damn. Wait a second...” Steve grabs his rucksack, rummaging through it as Danny watches on, eyebrows raised. His eyes light up as Steve retrieves another container and pops the lid. “Are those cookies?” Danny asks, already reaching out. “Homemade cookies?” Steve pulls the container out of Danny’s reach. Critically, he inspects the cookies inside. He frowns. “I baked them at the restaurant. The big ovens are hotter than ours. Not sure if they’re overd—“ Danny kisses him. Hard. Steve abandons the cookies and coffee, putting them out of harm’s way. Then he returns the kiss with enthusiasm. That damp blue tee-shirt has been teasing him for too long. “You made me cookies,” Danny says a while later when they finally pull apart. He’s breathing hard. “White chocolate cookies.” Steve frowns. Absently, he wipes sweat from his brow. “They’re your favourite, right? Grace said you like those more than—“ Danny cuts him off mid-sentence again. This time the kiss is briefer but no less passionate. Grinning, Steve lets himself be manhandled as Danny tucks himself under his arm. Both of them are missing their tee shirts (they were wet anyway) so it’s skin to skin contact. Steve lets himself be prodded some more, before he pulls Danny in close. Cuddling is one of Danny’s favourite things, so he lets him indulge. Danny sit stills for all of a minute - then he’s moving again. Steve’s on the verge of protesting at the sudden loss of body warmth when Danny settles back in again. He’s got the cookie container in his hand. “You’re a goof, you know that, right?” Danny informs him, matter of factly, as he munches on his first cookie. “A giant goof with issues. Many, many issues but you know how to cook...” Steve selects a cookie and takes a bite. It really does taste good. Danny’s still talking and he lets him, humming his agreement every now and then. It’s the most animated Danny’s been for days. He feels the ache in his heart ease, just a little. Danny pauses before choosing a second cookie. “Eighty eight days,” he says, chewing slowly. Steve nods. “Less than twelve weeks.” “We can do this, right?” Steve kisses Danny, quick and decisive. He tastes of cookie dough and chocolate. He tastes of love and home. “Yeah, babe. We can do this.” The End

[illuminating-dragons]

Nesting (4/?): Profoundly

Summary:  The lead up to a wedding isn't always peaceful, but people come together in the end.

Read it on AO3

           Sam grimaced as he heard another dish hit the kitchen wall. “You’d think with two grooms we’d avoid the wedding crazies.”

           “It’s your idjit brother,” Bobby grumbled, turning the page of an old ledger. “He can’t shut up to save his damn life.”

           Dean and Cas’ wedding was in a week, and it was turning into an enormous headache for anyone within three hundred miles of the Bunker. It wasn’t the guest list, it wasn’t the food, it wasn’t even the damn venue.

           It was the grooms themselves.

           Since returning from Hell, Sam had witnessed Dean and Cas arguing only a handful of times. They were quick and intense, years of a profound bond soothing the worst of the anger. But ever since Jody and Donna’s wedding six months ago, ever since Hannah asked innocently when they would get married…

           “What are we up to?” Sarah asked.

           “Seventy four arguments,” Sam reported. “Since the start of July.”

           Sarah groaned and hit her head off the desk.

           He heard Cas’ raised voice now. Great. That meant a longer argument. Sam dearly wished that either Ben or Gabriel were here—they could knock sense into the couple better than anyone—but both were away from the Bunker.

           Bobby glared at Sam. “It’s your turn.”

           “It is not, it’s Charlie’s!”

           “She and Anna are in Moondor,” Sarah reminded him. “Come on, Sam. I’ve got to finish the playlist anyways.”

           Sam knew there was no point protesting. He got up and went down the hall towards the kitchen. His brothers’ voices were lower now, but no less intense. Hoping he wasn’t going to have to pull them apart (again), Sam froze in his tracks when their voices rose again.

           “I swear, Cas, it feels like you don’t want to get married at all!”

           “Don’t be ridiculous, Dean, of course I do!”

           “Then why do you keep picking at me?! Everything I suggest you shoot down!”

           “You aren’t asking for enough!”

           “What the fuck does that MEAN?!” Another crash. “I’m asking for what I want, Cas. It’s one fucking day of our lives, it doesn’t have to be perfect!”

           “Nothing in your life has ever been perfect!”

           The silence was louder than the crashes.

           “What do you mean?” Dean’s voice was terribly quiet.

           “You’ve been dragged around your entire life,” Cas replied. “You’ve rarely had an opportunity to make choices, and they haven’t been good ones. I want to make sure you can choose whatever you want, Dean.”

           “I am choosing what I want, Cas,” Dean said. His voice was much gentler now. “I love all of the ideas we’ve come up with, and the ones I picked out are the ones I think are the best. It’s not the French Riviera, but it’s what I know. It’s what I want. I don’t want our wedding to be something completely out of my experience. It’s about us, about our life, our family…” There was another pause. “But that’s not really what you’re worried about, is it baby? You think I might not have chosen right when I picked you.”

           “The thought had crossed my mind.” Cas’ voice was thready.

           Sam risked stepping closer, close enough that he could see the kitchen. Dean and Cas were standing amid a bunch of shattered glass and china, and Cas had his head bowed.

           “You are the Righteous Man,” Cas said. “You were made by Heaven itself to fight Hell, and you defied them both. You are better than anyone dreamed you would be. You could have anyone.”

           “I want you.” Dean stepped forward and took Cas’ face in his hands. “Castiel, I want you. You are the Saviour of the Righteous Man. You were built to love God, and you chose to love me…to love me too. I love you, Cas. You’re perfect as far as I’m concerned. And if anyone thinks different—that might actually be a good thing. I get you all to myself.”

           Cas laughed, but it was more of a sob, and Sam realized it was time to leave. He retreated to give them some privacy, but not before he saw Dean enfold Cas in his arms.

           There were no more arguments that day, or the next five days. Which was good, because Charlie’s dress went missing, Kevin came down with the flu and they found out about a shifter in Topeka, running around in the guise of the dead (they’d been grave digging).

           But by the day before the wedding, the shifter had been taken out by Samandriel, Kevin was healed after he actually admitted he was sick, and Charlie’s dress had been rescued from the trunk of the Impala. A vigorous washing got the smell of gunpowder out.

           Most of the wedding guests were already there. Every ‘claimed’ bedroom was full, people chattering with excitement and finding “my damn pantyhose!” “You don’t need that shit!” “It’s the pair Gabriel made that doesn’t rip!” “…I’ll help you look.”

           Dean and Cas sat in the middle of the chaos, told sternly not to help at all. Ben stood guard proudly, arms folded. He was taking his best man job seriously.

           (Not all the arguments in the last six months had been between the grooms-to-be).

           At last the kerfuffle died down, and the bachelor party began.

           Cas had vehemently protested against this idea, and even Dean didn’t see the need. “I don’t want to be hungover on our wedding day, and besides, I am not taking my kid to a strip club.”

           “Indeed not,” Cas agreed. “I don’t want you dead on our wedding day.”

           With Ben as best man, however, Dean agreed to try a party, so long as Ben planned it. Ben had enlisted the groomsmen and groomsgals to help plan bits and pieces, but the twelve-year-old had kept most of the details close to his chest. Only Gabriel seemed to know the whole story, but he’d barely been in the Bunker in the last month.

           Which Sam thought, given the chaos, was really a smart thing.

           The first part of the party was a buffet. Everyone got their favourite foods, and they ate picnic style in the main room, curled up on cushions and bean bag chairs Gabriel had snapped up. Sam stole a few of Sarah’s grapes—to make up for it, he fed her the last of his strawberries. Dean and Cas were arguing playfully over which burgers were best, and the conversation rose and fell as everyone digested.

           Then there was pie. Lots of different kinds, and Benny beamed with pride as everyone ate up. “Told you it was better than that magic food, Tricky,” he drawled.

           Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Listen, Ex-Fangs, you just got your sweet tooth back. Give it some time to adjust.”

           Benny rolled his eyes and bared his completely normal teeth. “Sure thing, sugar.”      

           Once the last bites had been scraped off the plates, Gabriel clapped his hands. “Alright, listen up everyone.” He turned to Ben. “Want to explain your idea for entertainment tonight, kiddo?”

           Ben shuffled nervously. “Okay.” At Gabriel’s encouraging nod, he dashed out of the room.

           “What’s he doing?” Dean asked.

           “Patience, Dean-o. All will be revealed.”

           Ben returned with a wrapped package and a strange looking video camera. It looked like a camera from the eighties had a baby with a telescope.

           “What’s that, son?” Dean raised his eyebrows as Ben sat down in front of him and Cas.

           “Well, I thought it would be nice to talk about memories from when you were younger—not just with each other, but with other people in our family. And that’s easier when you’ve got some visual aids, so…”

           Dean opened the package carefully. It was a photo album.

           “What—we didn’t—we don’t have all that many pictures, buddy.” Dean said gently. “You don’t need this big a—” He opened the album and fell silent.

           “Dean?” Sam asked. He scooted so he could see the pages, and his jaw dropped.

           Every page was crowded with pictures of him and Dean, and Bobby, and Ellen and Jo and Cas and Ash…Sam spotted pictures in college, and pictures with Pastor Jim, pictures with random hunters and survivors…

           “Ben suggested this and I thought it was a great idea,” Gabriel explained. “I went back and took all the pictures that were ever taken of the two of you and anyone you call family and stuck ‘em in. I’m working on the rest of you, but I thought the newlyweds would go first.”

           Dean leaned over and hugged Gabriel and Ben tightly. He was shaking. “You have no idea how much this means,” he said, voice thick.

           “It was no trouble,” Gabriel assured him. “Just promise me you’ll keep taking pictures. That album’s not going to fill itself!”

           Dean laughed. “Promise.” He picked up the strange camera. “Is that what this is for? I’ve never seen one like this.”

           “Nope.” Gabriel snapped, and suddenly everyone had popcorn and candy on their laps and they were all facing a screen hovering just in front of the staircase. “That is a memory projector, patent pending. Kali helped me make it.”

           “A memory projector?”

           Gabriel snapped again, and the camera flew out of Dean’s hands to hover just behind them. “Ben asked me about home movies. I know you guys didn’t make too many, so I made some.”

           Sam blinked. “How?”

           “Short version is I followed you around in the past whenever you did something mildly interesting and ‘filmed’ it. I’ve got some memories of Cas from when he was a fledgling too.”

           Both Cas and Dean’s eyes were wide.

           “And don’t you worry, Cassie,” Gabriel added. “Bal and Anna gave me some more…recent ones.”

           Cas groaned. Dean took his hand. “Come on babe, it’ll be fun. It’s a great idea, Ben. And thanks for your help, Gabriel.”

           “Like I said, it was nothing. Now let’s get this film festival going.” Gabriel paused for effect. “I call it ‘The Profound Bond’.”

           “Balthazar!” Cas tried to launch himself at his brother. “You weren’t supposed to repeat that!”

           But it wasn’t nothing, Sam realized as a clip of him and Dean as small children started to play. Time travelling was difficult for angels, even archangels; and now a tiny version of Cas popped up too. Gabriel had somehow managed to convert his own memories of his fledgling’s true forms to tiny children who looked like their current vessels. And he’d done it all in time for a wedding, refusing to take credit for the immense amount of effort.

           And Sam watched Cas lean his head on Gabriel’s shoulder for a minute, and Dean smile over Cas’ head, and knew that the to-be-weds knew it too.

           It was late when they stopped watching videos (the one where Sam was chased by a goose at a petting zoo, forcing Dean to rescue him by dragging him on top of the Impala’s hood got an annoying amount of laughs), and Sam carried a sleeping Sarah to their room. He crawled in next to her and cradled her in his arms, and for a moment dared to dream of maybe someday…maybe someday they would have a wedding eve. They weren’t ready for that yet—he wasn’t ready for that yet—but for the first time the idea seemed possible. A future with her.

           And with that thought, Sam fell asleep.

           He woke to a gentle touch to his shoulder. Confused, he looked up and gasped, yanking Sarah closer.

           His mother stood over him. “Sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

           Sam shifted as Sarah stirred. “No problem,” he whispered. “Are you all here?”

           Mary nodded. “We came as soon as we could. We thought you could all use a hand first thing in the morning.”

           Sarah was awake now. “Hi Mary,” she said sleepily. “We’ll be up in a minute.”

           “What about Dean?” Sam asked.

           “JO GET OUT WHAT THE FUCK?!”

           The outraged shout rang through the Bunker.

           “YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOUR GROOM, EITHER!”

           “FUCK THAT!”

           “Who thought Jo was a good idea?” Sam muttered. Sarah giggled.

           Mary’s eyes danced. “No one.”

           And with that, Destiel’s wedding day began properly.

[thebachelordiaries]

The Cutest 3-Way Ever: The Bachelorette Ep. 2 Recap

Episode one of The Bachelorette is like the first day of class where you go over the syllabus and briefly discuss what you will learn the rest of the semester.

Episode two is when we finally get down to business. We’re learning new things, doing homework and studying for tests. 

Ladies and gentlemen, the ball is officially rolling.

Truthfully, all I want to do is talk about Peter and Copper, but I am going to force myself to go in chronological order. We had two group dates sandwiched between a 1-on-1, and even my dad had a lot to say about tonight’s episode. 

He was live-texting me his thoughts.

(I probably should have responded so he would have continued to text me and I’d have more content. Oh well. Next time.)

Now, more importantly, let’s discuss what I have to say regarding this episode, which I absolutely loved.

Husband Material Date

The first group date of the season was essentially a competition to see which man feels the most like “husband material.” Rachel is looking for 1,000 thread-count husband material sheets, but her group of guys looks more like sheets found at The Dollar Tree or Walmart.

To conquer this difficult task, Rachel enlisted the help of celebrity power couple Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis to moderate the competition. 

Ashton was wearing a “husband material” shirt and now I need one for my future husband.

What do Ashton Kutcher and Peter have in common? They both modeled for Abercrombie & Fitch and they’re both husband material. More on that (and pictures!!!) below.

Mila is a Bachelor superfan who once pointed out to us all that Ashton looks like Jared Haibon from Kaitlyn’s season of the Bachelorette. 

Ashton said he doesn’t think Rachel’s husband is in this group, and I think I agree with him. Nonetheless, the show must go on.

To prove who is husband material, the men had to change a diaper, find a ring in a dish-ridden sink, vacuum, unclog a drain and lord knows what else while carrying a baby. Thankfully, the babies weren’t real or else we’d have multiple homicides on our hands.

“I’ve never held a baby before,” said Dean, who is someone looking to become Rachel’s future husband.

Ironically, the person who won this challenge is the opposite of husband material. Whaboom! guy literally spiked the baby to the ground after he won. He also accidentally drowned the baby during the competition. But hey, it wasn’t the “father material” obstacle course, so I digress.

Rachel is just so excited to get a hug from Whaboom!

Whaboom! then asks Ashton to do a Whaboom! and he swiftly declined.

The cocktail portion of the date was a real let down for Rachel; None of the guys were really bringing the romance. 

Whaboom! guy kissed Rachel and I haven’t cringed so hard since JoJo kissed Evan Bass, the erectile dysfunction guy.

Ticklemonster, who is actually a pediatrician and kind of growing on me, showed Rachel that you should minimize wiping a baby when changing its diaper. (personally, I find him Michael Cera-cute/awkward and also adorably funny)

Jack Stone was leaning towards Rachel so creepily while talking to her. I felt like she was trapped.

Blake just complained about Whaboom! the entire time and honestly I could care less. When is Blake leaving my screen? I don’t find him attractive at all.

Meanwhile, Fred is still stuck in the campzone.

The only person who Rachel felt any connection with was Dean, who was giggling like a little girl the entire time. Rachel told him that she liked his “going black and never going back” joke and that she actually wanted to use the joke first. Dean, thank your lucky stars you’re good looking because Rachel just saved your image.

Kenny also got a good edit here. Cute, romantic music was playing as soon as he started gushing about his 10-year-old daughter. I really appreciate how Kenny is hilarious and tough yet still sensitive. 

Rachel gave Dean the group date rose. Afterwards, he mans up, puts his big girl pants on, walks Rachel out the door and lays a big fat kiss on her. And it was no slobberfest kiss like the one with Bryan, so I approved.

A Doggy Day With A Smitten Kitten

Rachel’s date with Peter was perfect from start to finish.

She first informed him that a third wheel would be accompanying them on their date. Rachel says it would be her friend who was in an accident. She said she hasn’t seen him in a really long time. 

Enter: the cutest third wheel with three legs you ever did see: Copper.

Rachel revealed that Copper broke his foot jumping off something. He is really handling this injury in stride.

The three best friends anybody could have then boarded a private plane to Palm Springs where they attended Bark Fest: a place where dogs and humans can party as equals.

A few reasons why I loved this date:

You could tell Copper liked Peter, which is SO important. Dogs are the best judges of character.

Rachel and Peter discussed if they would be willing to move across the country for a relationship. They both said yes. 

Their conversation was so natural (it always is with Rachel though)

Peter picked up Copper and started dancing with him, which was cute as hell.

The dinner portion of 1-on-1 dates are typically known for getting deep, so I was exited to see what Peter has going for him besides a model face, salt-and-pepper hair and perfectly gapped teeth.

Rachel always gets the question, “You’re so great. Why are you still single?” which is annoying and also slightly offensive.

Either way, Rachel wanted to know how some girl (re: me) hasn’t scooped Peter up to keep him hostage in an abandoned basement. In response to her question, Peter admits to being heartbroken and dealing with a lot of issues from it. He says he sought relationship counseling after being in his last two relationships to figure himself out.

Rachel, who probably wanted to end the show right then and there, admitted that she also started seeing a therapist after her longterm relationship ended and it was one of the best decisions she ever made. 

Can you imagine that Peter is an actual living, breathing person? He’s an attractive male who openly admits to needing help to sort out his emotions. Mind blown.

If this doesn’t make these two the most adorable couple ever, hold onto your knickers: there’s more. Peter and Rachel had the most endearing conversation to ever happen on this show...They discussed their gapped teeth. Rachel said her decision to keep the gap was a personal choice because her dentist said it added “character” and Peter said the gap is a family trait he assumed he was stuck with for life. And now, suddenly, I want gapped teeth. 

Rachel basically threw the rose at Peter and they kissed and then kissed in front of romantic fireworks some more.

I’m pretty that everyone was Team Rachel and Peter Forever after this date. Everyone else is fake news.

Love & Basketball...And Some Other Shit

We’ve gone two whole Bachelorette seasons without a basketball group date, so I think we were overdue. 

And what kind of competition would it be without a special guest? Kareem Abdul Jabbar may have received the best introduction in Bachelor Nation history from Rachel. She was adorably screaming his name and jumping up and down. I loved it.

The boys split up into two teams to compete in a game of basketball [for Rachel’s heart, duh].

Even though his team lost, DeMario was really balling out. He blocked shots, he intercepted passes, he even dunked (at one point on Rachel, smh.) Little did he know, however, that he was shooting from Curry range the entire time.

The thing about shooting from Curry range is you’re going to miss because you’re not Steph Curry. Just like how DeMario wasn’t going to get away with having a “girlfriend” before he went on this show.

Some girl named Lexie showed up to the basketball game to tell Rachel that she has been dating DeMario for the past seven months. She said he stopped talking to her right before he went on the show. Some people are calling Lexie DeMario’s girlfriend, but they were probably just “talking.” Either way, Rachel didn’t approve.

“We’ve had sexual intercourse before” -from DeMario’s mouth to my blog post.

DeMario’s reaction to seeing Lexie was by far one of the greatest responses in Bachelor History. First, his face showed total recognition, then he quickly changed his approach and asked Rachel, “who is this?”

In the end, Rachel was pissed that DeMario wasn’t taking this process seriously. Lawyer Rachel doesn’t play. She promptly told him to “get the fuck out.” 

I know DeMario likes attention, but this is definitely a Charlie Sheen-type of attention, not his preferred Justin and Britney wearing matching denim outfits at the VMAs-type of attention. That’s karma for ya!

So then the cocktail hour portion of the date happened and nothing really memorable occurred. Josiah got the rose. I am still in firm belief he doesn’t have a strong connection with Rachel. Not buyin’ it.

Rose Ceremony

We never learn, do we? Every season, we go in with an open mind and an open heart. And every season, ABC take advantage of us by never completing the rose ceremony before the episode is over.

Notably, Bryan kissed Rachel again (less aggressively this time) and gave her a chiropractor adjustment, and hopefully a happy ending.

DeMario also crashed the rose ceremony to “apologize” to Rachel, but we won’t see what happens until the next episode.

Until next time, xoxo, The Bachelor Diaries.

Bonus Material

Country Boy Lee is apparently a huge racist and Chris Harrison said the show had no idea about his extremely offensive tweets before casting him. Read a full article on this issue here.

“I like boys who model for Abercrombie and Fitch”

Peter and Ashton were once Abercrombie model babes while...

Eric greeted you at the door.

“I’ll take Peter if I had one wish.”

[citycfangels]

the bitch is back | rarlie

Charlie: couldn't believe she was at it again. He got a text from Raquel when Candice knocked at his door, asking him if she could use his shower because hers was 'broken' and as a good neighbor, he couldn't say no, although that ended up with her dropping the towel in front of him, revealing her completely naked body to him while he was making breakfast in the kitchen. Of course he looked at her, he was a man after all, but Charlie felt nothing. Not even turned on at the situation, which would have been the case if Candice didn't mess things up and he didn't have a girlfriend. He knew Candice was talking about how much he deeply wanted to fuck her, about what he could have if he wanted... but that wasn't the case. "My girlfriend is coming over, so I suggest you put on some clothes," he simply said before he looked at the door when he heard the keys jingling, knowing Raquel was there and about to catch a naked Candice trying to seduce him. Raquel: walking through the door moreso worried about dropping the weight of her bag on the counter than anything. "Finding parking here is a night-" her  sentence cut off seeing the nude body before her. Not bothering to cover her eyes that were already seeing red she dropped her purse onto the floor, something she never did. "What the FUCK is going on?" The swear emphasized even more despite how strange it felt coming out of a mouth that hardly swore. "What are you doing here?" Before Candice could begin explaining Raquel cut her off. "Put some clothes on." Reaching for anything Raquel tossed a towel towards the girl's face. Raquel's face showing how upset she was her nostrils flared. "I know you might think you're hot shit and that everyone wants you but it's clear who he chose." She held a finger up towards Charlie as if to tell him not to say a word. "Your desperation isn't going to help your case. I know you aren't that stupid so in case you didn't get the hint before; HE. DOESN'T. WANT. YOU." Raquel scoffed her way now seeing what Charlie meant by her being pretty but not pretty enough for him to oversee just how insane and what a horrible person she was. Her hands itched like they never had before wanting to rid her body of the strange emotion she was feeling. Actually wanting to hit someone. Instead she brought her hands towards her own thigh, clenching it into a fist her long acrylic nails digging into her skin. "Now, are you going to let yourself out or do I need to drag you out?" Not that she actually would but the thought was so tempting. "I don't care how much you might think he wants you, how much you need to get laid, or about your past." She shook her head again seeing candice ready to speak. "Upp. I'm talking." Raquel cut her off continuing. "That meant nothing. It happened. You two slept together. Get over it because in the end he came back to me and loves me." She pointed towards her chest her throat tight. "You may think you had a magical time and that eventually he would choose you, but I've got news for you, he didn't. Now get the hell out of our apartment and don't come back. Stay the fuck out of our lives and get psychiatric help to deal with whatever it is you've got going on." Raquel reached for the door opening it for the blonde to go through. Already hearing a gasp to speak Raquel cut her off again only hearing that he would be back. "No he won't. Keep walking." She waved her hand through the door slamming it in the girl's face when she saw her turn. Surely there would be screaming through the door but Raquel wasn't focused on that. Her anger not completely gone she turned to Charlie now whispering in an angry tone. "What the hell Charles? I leave and you suddenly decide to just let psycho barbie in? And don't tell me to calm down because what was that? She just thought oh yeah now's the time for my big reveal?” She held her hands out exaggerating the towel drop gesture. Shaking her head she inhaled deeply. "I can't believe you." She still whispered not wanting to give Candice the satisfaction of knowing that they were fighting. Shaking him away she held her hand up and closed her eyes walking towards their bedroom. Closing the door behind her with a light slam she locked it behind her and grabbed a pillow screaming into it to let her frustration out.

Charlie: watched in awe how a side he didn't know she had in her came out when she saw Candice, and he could tell how upset she was by the whole situation in there. He never saw her angry before, and it was something that barely happened. It was something that surprised him, that got him in shock and oddly enough, the way she defended her man sort of turned him on, as he could tell by the tent in his sweatpants. Charlie wanted to speak at some point but Raquel didn't let him as she told Candice off, so he started to make coffee as if nothing happened, just being there as a witness of her rage. When Candice was finally out, he walked towards Raquel to explain what happened. "Babe-" he started to talk, but he was interrupted when she turned to him and ended her rant by closing the bedroom door behind her, keeping them apart with the door between them. "Babe," he knocked at the door, "I just want to talk about what you saw because I can explain." He let out a sigh, only wanting to clear the situation. Raquel: coming up from the pillow for air she screamed into it again. How could that have actually happened. It seemed like this wasn't real. She didn't think someone could actually be that desperate and that awful. The thought of everything that was happening made her want to just continue screaming. Removing the pillow and tossing it back onto the bed she felt the overwhelming sense to run. To leave and to just be away so that she could think. She scoffed at Charlie's words. Finding one of her sneakers in the corner she took off her strappy sandals and in turn grabbed socks to put the shoe on. Not finding the other right away she simply paced in circles coming closer to the door. "Explain." she hobbled thanks to being unbalanced. "Explain how you let someone into our home and just let her just sprawl out naked in front of you as if you were going to paint her like a french girl." She stood on her toes as she spoke through the door knowing already where his ear would be. "Oh," she tossed her hands up for emphasis "and let's just forget about the fact that she is certifiable and oh you've slept with her in the past. I didn't forget that." She searched on the ground her own emotions battling it out. One part of her telling her to head for the hills as fast as she could and the other part of her telling her she had to stop pushing away her problems and that she couldn't just bail on things. "And don't you dare say that you weren't turned on Charles because I am not blind." Even if he couldn't see her she knew that he could tell how upset she was. A rush of emotions mostly jealousy coursing through her. "It is bad enough that we have to live with her next door but now you go ahead and let her waltz on in." She looked towards the ceiling attempting to keep her emotions at bay. "She didn't even have to be here."

Charlie: leaned his back against the door, looking at the ceiling as he tried to not sigh in frustration whenever she called him by his name, something that never was a good sign. "Look, she told me her shower was broken, so I was supposed to be a bad neighbor?" He scoffed at her words, crossing his arms against his chest, not wanting to believe what she said next. "And no, I wasn't turned on by her at all, and you're the only one I want to fuck, remember? I know I was a fucking idiot for believing what probably was a fucking excuse to get naked and seduce me as if I wasn't taken, so I'm sorry I let her in. But I hope you're not thinking I would leave you for her just because she dropped the towel and showed me her naked body." He let out a sigh in frustration when he stood and leaned his side against the door. "You know you're the one I love, right?" Raquel: They had just talked about control and how she thought he had enough of it to not be the guy he was before. They had just had a hard time leaving each other in the morning so why did she feel so angry? Pressing her head against the door she closed her eyes. Gripping the door knob she clutched it in her hand. Again part of her screamed that she shouldn't unlock the door. She needed to be alone and thing. But how could she be alone to think when she wanted to be near him. When she felt guilty if she didn't say just how much she loved him. Slowly opening the door she felt smaller as she looked up at him. "I love you too but that doesn't mean you can just say and that I'm just going to be okay with everything." She reached for him and shook him. "I need you to listen to me. I'm mad." It wasn't something she said often but he needed to hear that she wasn't happy. "She just walked into our home with the worst excuse ever. And she still wants you." That wasn't even what upset her most. She looked past Charlie as the next thought entered her mind. "I trust you but what would she have done if I hadn't have walked in? I have a reason to be mad."

Charlie: let out a sigh in relief when she got out of the bedroom and even gave her a small smile, but that disappeared from his face as soon as she told him she was mad, and he couldn't tell her she shouldn't. Raquel had all the reasons to be angry, not only at Candice, but also at him for letting her into his apartment, so he wasn't going to fight that. "Okay, I know, I just felt like saying it," he paused, "and you have the right to be mad at me, so I'll let you do anything you want to me. Hit me, yell at me, whatever. Get it off your chest somehow because I deserve it," he said seriously while looking into her eyes, "and I'm not really sure what she would have done if you didn't walked in to stop her, but no matter what, I would have pushed her away because I have no intentions of having sex with her. That dropping the towel trick? It only works if it's you the one doing that." Raquel: "I don't want to hit you." Her hands clutched at his shoulders. "I want you to think." As rude as that may have sounded she did want him to think of how this was effecting her. "What if Nathan did that? Just showed up at my place and dropped trou?" He felt her chest heavy even bringing up her ex and asking Charlie to step into her shoes. "It bothers me that she thinks she can come between us. Even if you have no intention of sleeping with her. It's the thought that she thinks she can." She gasped. "And knowing that she has had you. That she misses you enough to do anything. I know what that's like. I know what it is like to miss you and not caring who gets hurt so long as I have you. It makes me sick knowing that I understand her. Knowing that I have to think about you two together again. It's like she keeps coming up."

Charlie: looked at her while thinking of what he would have done if it was Nathan or any random guy the one getting naked for Raquel the way Candice did, and the thought of that made him upset. Angry, even. He would not only have told him to fuck off like Raquel did, but he would also punch him in the face if he had the chance. "I would have done the same, maybe even more for showing you his dick. I would probably punch him, unless you were ready to stop me from doing that." He closed his eyes and let out a sigh while placing his hands on her hips, not even pulling her closer until it was safe to do so. He wasn't going to be the kind of guy who kissed girls whenever they were mad. "Do you want me to do something about that? I could talk to her and make things clear because I don't want you to feel like shit because of her... unless you have a better idea." Raquel: Maybe bringing up Nathan wasn't the best scenario but it did make her point. He would have been upset and he wouldn't have been happy. "But you would've been mad. And I'm more upset at the situation than at you." She pouted. "Even if the whole didn't want to be a bad neighbor thing doesn't work for me. This is LA. You left the neighborly pleasantries back in Canada. We're lucky we even know her name because no one else does that." Coming closer she held onto him tightly almost as if to say don't go anywhere. "I don't want you going near her." Placing her ear against his chest she wrapped her arms around Charlie's torso. "I'm not supposed to get this jealous, but I can't help it. I see her near you and I just.... become a different person." She sighed still just listening to his heartbeat. "I'll talk to her, maybe it's time for her to hear me. And son't worry, I'll be civil."

Charlie: "Yeah, I guess I could quit that habit with everyone. Except for Mrs. Harrison, the old lady who brings me slices of cake every now and then. That's what I call a sweet lady," he chuckled, trying to brighten the situation as he welcomed into her arms, hugging her while his fingers made circles to soothe her. "Okay, you go, I understand your jealousy, but" he left a kiss on her forehead before lifting her chin, "you cursing and unleashing that rage? That was scary and the hell of a turn on, as weird as that sounds," he let out a soft laugh while holding her. Raquel: "So that's where the cakes come from. I always thought you had some secret baking talent you were hiding from me," she continued to hold onto him already feeling a light load off her shoulders. She felt her breathing finally begin to relax for the first time since she walked through the door. Pulling away she gave him a stoned look and shook her head. "Of course you would have been turned on by that." She smiled fondly looking at his chest before resting her head back against it. "You're hopeless. You should just face it and admit that anything I do turns you on." She shrugged confidently in his arms before letting out a deep sigh. "No one is going to come between us." She held her breath knowing just how much emotion was packed in that sentence. "It's you and me." Still holding onto him tightly she looked up and stood on her toes already pecking a chaste kiss to his lips. "Now I've got to go, weirdo. I've got some more anger to let out. But first.... I have to find my other shoe."

Charlie: couldn't help but laugh. "That would have been too good to be true." He smiled as he held her close, looking down at her and hitting her shoulder playfully at her words. "Shut up," he chuckled and kept his gaze on her as she said those words. Nobody told him anything like that before her or while they were broken up and that meant a lot to him, more than she could ever imagine. "I know. It sounds really good and that's how it should me. You and me against the world, babe." He pecked her lips back and he was about to deepen the kiss, but she interrupted her. "Aren't you going to have breakfast or what? Where are you going?" he asked with a pout on his lips. "That's one of the reasons boxing lessons were invented, by the way." Raquel: "Maybe but there have to be some things I don't know about you." Melting into the kiss she closed her eyes almost letting all her anger leave her body. Shaking her head about eating breakfast she pulled her arms away from him and took a few steps back. "Not eating and not having coffee keeps me on edge. I need to stay mean." She moved about the apartment again trying to locate her shoe. "Well... I was going to go for a run." Now saying the words out loud she knew how silly they sounded . Things god hard and she was going to literally run away from them. "But right now I'm just going to go next door." Forgetting her search for her shoe and instead kicking it off in the corner she passed Charlie and gave his pouted lips a kiss. Placing her hand on his chest she shook her head. "Very funny. I said I would maybe take them but that doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to hulk smash my way through life."

Charlie: "Alright." He smiled at her. "Then go to be mean, but come back, yeah?" he said as he let her go, watching her look for her lost shoe. He couldn't believe that they were fighting a minute ago because someone as insignificant as Candice, but things were okay now, or at least they were getting there. "Too bad I can't be there as a witness according to you," he said as he placed his hands on her hips, holding her close and leaning in to kiss her again. "I meant you could blow off some steam at them, babe," he laughed, "but hey, you're coming back, right? Because... I could wait for you to join me in the shower," he said in a husky voice and smirked. Raquel: "Yes according to me. I just think it'll be better without you there. Just us two to work things out together and see how it goes." She placed her hands on his arms and bit her lip. "But I'm sure you'll come running if you hear anything resembling a catfight." Standing on her toes and letting her hands run up the length of his arms she wrapped her hands around his neck. Pressing a soft kiss to his lips she hummed. "Well, now that I think about it.... you are getting a little smelly," she teased in an absolute lie. Still she scrunched her nose and smiled. "I'll be right back." Reluctantly letting go of her boyfriend she took quick steps towards the door, a chill running through her as her bare feet went against the cold floor outside. Not even bothering to step inside of Candice's apartment Raquel was calm in how she asked Candice to respect her relationship. Sure the blonde didn't say a word and only seemed to antagonize Raquel even more by rolling her eyes and slamming the door but at least Raquel said what she had to. Inhaling and coming back to Charlie her anger was still visible. "We have to move," she began babbling. "There's no getting through to her. She just slammed the door in my face as if what I said was that hard of a thing to do. "Respect our relationship, that's all I said. It's not that hard." She flared again almost tempted to go back and start again, but she already knew it was a lost cause. "So it's just easier to move. Hope you weren't too attached to this apartment babe because I'm going to start looking for places."

Charlie: struggled to let her go even if she promised to be back. "Okay," he mouthed before pulling away from her and smiled as she walked out the door, but what surprised him the most is how quickly she came back. He was taking off his shirt when she came back, with all that anger he saw earlier still on her face. "Whoa there, what happened?" he asked before she started to vent, talking about how speaking to Candice was useless and about moving out, something to which he opened his eyes widely. "Calm down and breathe," he walked towards her and rubbed his hands up and down her sides, letting out a breathe while looking at her. "Let's not do something crazy now, okay?" Raquel: "She is certifiable." She gave up on the idea of whispering to save face. "She didn't even say anythig she just closed the door in my face." Even with Charlie's hands on her biceps she emphasized the word closed and even made a shutting motion with her hand. Still she tried following Charlie's breathing patterns to calm down. As soon as he finished talking she took a deep breath and continued at full speed again. "Moving would not be crazy. Moving would solve the problem. I could even find you a nice male neighbor." She paused to calm herself letting the ideal place come to her. "Babe, I could find you a bro! You know the kind of neighbor you can go and play video games with. Do bro things with. Or like a butch lesbian. She would work too." She knew how crazy she sounded almost like Candice. She shook her head and closed her eyes before sinking her head into Charlie's chest. "And now I sound crazy," she mumbled into his chest. "I just... do not like her." She sighed again finally letting go of most of her anger. "I don't see it." She shook her head. "What you saw in her. Before I got it. She was hot but now..." she shook her head. "Nope."

Charlie: started to think about her idea, and if he had to be honest, it wasn't a bad one. It would probably take a bit of time and more than simply say it, but he wouldn't mind getting out of there. He had become sort of attached, but there was always room for improvement. "All of that is very convincing, but all I want to do now is to focus on getting money for the bar," he explained. "Plus, we could always go to your apartment, which has a better bed and shower than mine," he chuckled before leaving a kiss in her forehead, smiling even, but that disappeared from his face and looked up to the ceiling for a second. "Yeah, I guess her tits and ass fooled me," he let out a sigh, "so you're more than allowed to dislike her. Hate her, even," he just said before pressing his lips together and looking down at her. "But I'm glad I got out of that quickly. Now I have you. As I said earlier, you and I against the world." Raquel: taking a deep breath she held onto him as tightly as she could. Her torso on his she realized just how crazy she was being. "Now I'm the one that sounds crazy." Burying her head into his chest she closed her eyes taking in his scent. "You're right." She admitted without spite. "We do have my place." She remembered that she had an actual condo apartment she owned that wasn't just supposed to be a place where she kept her things. "We could always move there and you can save money that way," she mumbled into his chest. At first the idea was a joke. A way for her jealousy to show. A way to keep Candice away from him even more now that Raquel knew she wouldn't respect their relationship. The idea sinking in more she looked up. "No. Seriously." She loosened her hold to not give him a suffocating feeling and a bit of freedom if he needed to think things over. "Move in with me." The words seemed so serious automatically wanting her to back away from what she said. Still her courage soldiered on. "You can say no but just... hear me out. You get to save money for the bar. We get away from your crazy neighbor who I refuse to hate but can just dislike. There's a gym and a pool that I hardly use in the complex. It's almost the same distance from work. You said better water pressure, and my bed." She had to keep rambling to keep from the silence being too noticeable. "And I know it is a big step. I know that it's a lot and like I said, you can say no, but... I want you to think about it." She looked towards the ground finally giving herself a chance to breathe. Still she felt her stomach in knots. "We can create our own world."

Charlie: looked down at her as she spoke of moving in with her, at her apartment. While it was true it had a lot of advantages and little disadvantages, it seemed like a rushed decision. The idea of living with her sounded good, but weren't they rushing things? "All of that sounds really good, but," he paused, "aren't we rushing things, babe? I'd love to share an apartment with you though." He placed his hands on her waist, still looking at her seriously, thinking about the pros and cons... and then he had an idea. "What if we see how that works for us for, let's say, a week? It would be like a trial period or something like that." He gave her a smile. "That way we can see what works and what doesn't before I officially move in with you. Not that I think there will be major problems, but it seems like a good idea to me, what do you say?" he asked softly as his fingers played with the hem of her shirt. Raquel: "Charles, we've been together for more than a year because yes I'm counting the time we were apart. You love me and I love you. This isn't moving fast." She immediately regretted saying what she had. "At least not for me." Thinking that maybe she was always a step ahead of him in their relationship she took a breath. "But okay. A trial run." Her hands trailed up his back. "Not to freak you out," she teased. "But... it's not like I wasn't already practically living with you. We are going to ace this whole living together thing." Cocking her eyebrow she looked down at where his hands were. "What are you doing?" She bit her lip but brought her body closer. "I didn't say you could touch," she challenged seeing if he would go with her bossy and angry nature he had said turned him on earlier.

Charlie: "Yeah, I guess you're right," he said in a low voice while looking into her eyes. "I love you too, you know it. I just thought it wasn't an easy move, but you're right. Even if we weren't together, we still felt something." He smiled as he felt her hands on his back and at the thought of them being already domestic. "Yeah, I make coffee for you almost every morning already, so we'll do it great. I'll pick up some clothes and the necessary stuff for this week," he spoke softly. He lost his trail of thoughts about the topic when she challenged him. "But I wanted to touch. Besides, we're having a shower together, so..." he teased her with a smirk on his lips. Raquel: "We'll make it easy." She lifted her chin to continue locking her eyes with his. "I get to wake up to you every day." Her lips pouted for a kiss. "Come home to you every night." She already began to kiss his jawline sweetly. "It won't be a big change, I promise." To think that they had just been separated by a door and that she had been so frustrated with him merely minutes before was actually funny to think about. It only further showed how Raquel couldn't stay mad at Charlie for long. ""So... we're gonna shower???" Still holding on tight she began walking towards the bathroom. "Really? You just decided for us?" Already she began smiling, even chuckling a bit as she led him to the bathroom. "Then I guess this shirt has to go." Grasping at the back of his shirt she pulled at the bottom in order to take it off. "Yeah we're really dirty." Already she licked her lips thinking of what was to come.

Charlie: smiled when her lips were on his jawline, making him hold her closer. "I know, we already spend a lot of time together, so I don't think things will change that much," he laughed softly before dipping his head down to kiss her on her lips, sweeping his tongue over hers as he deepened the kiss, but then they broke it to breathe as they panted, looking for some air. "Oh, yes we are. And you can't say you're complaining. You'll get to see me naked after all," he nodded slowly and teased her as they walked towards the bathroom, following her as she led him to it and still holding her. The smile on his lips became a smirk as she pulled his shirt over his head. "Very dirty, babe, and I'm not only talking about the obvious," he spoke as he led her to the nearest wall and pushed her against it, playing with the hem of her shirt before lifting it, taking it off to leave her in a bra. "I think there are a lot of things that need to be off," he licked his bottom lip as his hands descended down her body, from her sides to her hips, playing with her breasts at some point, until his fingers were playing with the button on her shorts until it was done. Raquel: Dizzy from their kiss she gasped for air, her lungs begging. Still she didn't mind being cruel to her body if it came to being with Charlie. Raquel pushedher hips into his knowing just how much pleasure she was going to get. "You aren't talking about the obvious?" She challenged him with a quirk of her brow. Wiggling out of her shorts she let them fall at her feet, her tight hipster underwear and matching color bra the only articles remaining on her body. Pulling her attention to the shower she still locked eyes with Charlie as she turned the gage. Water splashing against the tiles she brought her attention back to her boyfriend. "Lots more clothes on your end. Reaching behind herself she unhooked her bra and slide it off her body. Reaching for his abs she grazed her hands down gently. Stopping at his waistband she wrapped her hands around him, working then into his sweatpants. Giving his ass a squeeze she worked the sweats lower. She pressed her bare breasts onto his skin, her hard nipples against his chest. Knowing he could step out of his sweats she kissed his lips again, lowering her underwear in the process. Without a second notice she held onto his shoulders, hopping up before wrapping her legs around him. With one finger she slid her finger down his body. "Mine," she whispered, her possessive side showing again especially after what had just happened. "All mine."

Charlie: bit down his bottom lip once again as he watched his girlfriend get naked right in front of him. He surely knew that no matter how many girls wanted to do that in front of him, the only one he really wanted completely naked for him was Raquel and nobody else. "Too many, I agree," he whispered as he helped her to get rid of his sweatpants and his boxer briefs before she hopped up and wrapped her toned legs around him, his hands on her ass to make sure she wouldn't fall. "All yours, babe. All of me," he smiled before leaning in to kiss her while carrying her inside the shower, hitting the tiles as the water fell all over them. Charlie sucked on her tongue and bit softly down her bottom lip, their make out session turning racier every second they were there. "Mine," he whispered when he broke the kiss for a second before kissing her again as one of his hands went up her side, stopping right at her sideboob where he teased her by tracing circles with his thumb. "All fucking mine," he stated again, not even caring about his possessive side showing up. Raquel: groaning as she was pressed against the tile she only seemed to wrap her legs tighter around him. Matching his needy pace she pulled him against her. The water only serving at just another part of her senses trying to be taken over. It seemed like now more than ever she couldn't get enough of him. Pressing her ass against the times she kept her core further away from Charlie. Water dripping down their bodies she nodded, not even caring about how much water was surrounding them. "All yours. Forever." Holding onto the sides of his face she attached his neck. Sucking against his skin she made sure to leave a mark. Something to show Candice or whoever that he was taken. "Love me." Need for more than just a desperate fuck exactly being what she needed. Still she moved her hands down his torso working her way to his cock. Her space between them just enough she teased his tip with her slick entrance. "Yes," she whispered giving him more consent than he needed. A loud moan that echoed against the tiled bathroom even over the running water.

Charlie: let out a groan when Raquel held his face with her hands and attached her lips to his neck, moving his head so she had room to work on it, leaving a hickey there which would be visible to whoever paid enough attention. "Need you," he moaned out when she started to tease his cock with her wet pussy and attached his own lips to her neck, also leaving a hickey in her pulsepoint like she did before. His hands gripped her body tighter, which probably left the mark of his fingers on her boob and her ass. "You're a fucking tease." He smirked against her neck as he entered her, burying his cock inside her and feeling the pleasure he was seeking. He didn't even tried to kiss her to muffled the echoed moans; he just wanted to hear her moan and let his neighbor how much they enjoyed it. Charlie just looked at her as he started to move slowly inside her, holding onto her hips. Raquel: Every thrust seeming to be further proof that he loved her she tightened her walls around him. Her body in complete sensory overload with his hands and the water she pressed her head against the wall. Small whimpering moans escaped her as she held on to his shoulders. "Oh my god," she began already loving the feelings he gave her. Placing her hand at his abs to keep him at a slow rhythm. "Say my name." She tightened her walls again moving her hips towards his.

Charlie: kept on thrusting into her slowly but deeply, hitting all the right spots as he held her body against the tiled wall, feeling how the hot water over them was setting the mood for slow shower sex. "Babe," he moaned as he felt her walls tightening around his cock, giving him a pleasure that put a smile on his lips. Clarlie placed his forehead against hers, keeping eye contact as he was still buried inside her, moving a bit faster this time. "Raquel," he moaned out as he slid his right hand up to her breast, kneading it and teasing her nipple against his palm as the other slid up her ribs, pressing her against the wall even further. "You're incredible," he whispered and smiled as he closed his eyes, picking up the pace. Raquel: continued moaning, her sounds reverberating off the walls. She still held on tight knowing that if she didn't a fall would definitely hurt the moment they were creating. Her lips went to his momentarily muffing her moans. Biting his lip as she broke from the kiss she only spurred Charlie on even more. With his faster and harder thrusts she released his lip as she gasped. Pressed against the tile she dropped her arms against the wall in an attempt to grab at something stable. One hand still on the wall she grabbed at Charlie's neck. Pulling on the hair on the back of his head for more leverage she used her legs to adjust the height of her body, only making it so that Charlie could dive deeper into her. "I love you." She whispered against his skin, her stomach caving as she felt it tighten. "I'm so close." She pushed her head back slowly, the back of her head resting against the wall. "God you're amazing." Still she tightened against his shaft. Making him go slower she looked into his eyes. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." She felt a jolt go through her making her thighs to tremble around him. "You make me so happy." She closed her eyes with a smile and held onto him tightly. "Cum inside me." For the girl who once didn't allow him to do that, now it seemed like an every time thing. Thank god for birth control. She nodded just to tell him it was okay.

Charlie: When Raquel bit his lip and tugged on it slightly, Charlie thought he would lose it, getting more turned on if it was possible. He kept on fucking her against the wall as she adjusted her weight, changing the angle so he could fuck her deeper and faster. It was mumbled, but he knew what she said, which made him grin. "Me too, babe," he moaned and slid one of his hands to hers, placing it on top of it while he slid the other one down her frame, placing it on her ass once again. Charlie lost it once she told him to cum inside her and came after a couple of thrusts, moaning her name out loud in the process. Although he already came, he didn't pull away and kept on thrusting his hips against hers so she could come as well. "Cum for me, babe, just cum for me," he whispered against her lips. Raquel: water still splashing onto her, her legs shaking and wiating for her release she focused on Charlie's eyes. Those beautiful green eyes that drove her and almost every girl wild. Almost every girl like the one next door possibly seething of envy because of how hard Raquel was getting fucked. Hand still in his she squeezed, her fingers fitting in the spaces of his. As he came inside her she felt his warmth between her folds. With every thrust his cock covered in more of their juices. His warm cum filling her and the fact that he still cared about her needs bringing her orgasm. Squeezing his hand and moaning she kissed his lips. "I'm cuming," she whispered onto his lips breaking the kiss. "I'm cuming," she repeated louder as it seemed her orgasm intensified with another thrust. "Fuck." Her voice varying in pitch as she swore. She wanted to toss her head back but even in her bliss knew that would be a terrible idea that could have ended in a concussion. Instead she moved forward biting into his shoulder as she covered his cock. Riding out her orgasm she finally held on before letting her legs drop. Unsure if she could stand she placed their hands together behind his neck, still smiling and trembling after. Ma small aftershock. The living moment still hanging around them she kissed his lips softly. "You know... now that I think about it..." she smiled looking up as the water continued to pour over them. "You were totally right about the whole water pressure thing. I guess we are just going to have to do like a round two of all that at our new place."

Charlie: laughed as she screamed how close she was, swearing so loudly in a way she never did before. He was pretty sure someone heard them with all the good accoustics the shower offered, and he was pretty sure Candice would be one of them, which made him smirk at the thought. Charlie let out a gasp as she bit into his shoulder, and although it was a bit painful, he couldn't really complain about it --he was even enjoying it. He let her ride out her orgasm before pulling his cock out of her, putting her on her feel but still holding her, wrapping his arms around her waist, feeling her tremble from all the sex they just had. "I know, sometimes I'm right." He tilted his head a bit and laughed at her proposition. "We just had shower sex and you're thinking of more shower sex? Man, I really corrupted you." Raquel: His laugh, that was all she wanted to hear. The way his entire face lit up, his head tilt, the way he showed his teeth. She knew she could hear his laugh for the rest of her life. "Well... when something was that good how can I not think about it." She spoke through her teeth pulling closer to him before pecking a cheek to his lips. "Or you know maybe that was just my way of saying that I'm glad that we /might/ be moving in together." Reiterating what they had decided she felt her heart race a bit wondering if he was having second thoughts already. "Unless..." she stopped herself from rambling and over thinking. "Never mind." She shook her head and bit her lip. "Come on." She moved her hair to the side turning around so that her back was bare to him. "We have to actually shower now that you got me all wet."

Charlie: laughed softly at her words. "You're not wrong here. Next time we should buy a bench or something so you can sit down," he suggested before kissing her cheek and smiling at what she said. There was a high probability that they were moving in together at her apartment, a big step that he was pretty sure he could handle. It's not like they just met and they had history, so why not? One week to test the waters and then, if everything was alright, it would be official. He was tempted to ask what was wrong, but if it was what he was thinking about, he preferred to not ask. It would ruin the moment. "Okay, let's shower," he said before biting his bottom lip as she turned around and saw her amazing ass, smacking it playfully. Charlie didn't even bother the fact that he was staring at it as he grabbed the gel and poured some on his hand to wash himself. Raquel: "Hey," she teased, the water only adding more to the sound of her slap. Still she didn't turn around to face him. "I turned around so that you can scrub my back not smack my ass." Bending over slightly but not in a teasing manner she reached for the shampoo she had brought over some time ago, small things throughout his apartment showing the proof of her being there. Thinking of all the things she had to take back over to her house made her smile only more thinking of how unafraid she was. Spreading the shampoo in her hair she let it sit on her scalp before grabbing the body wash. Rubbing the gel into her hands she reached for her boyfriend's shoulders rubbing it into his skin before closing the space between them and kissing him through a fit of laughter.