#i get that they needed to end one major plot line before starting another

[agustdtown1]

CLOSER TO YOU II [JJK]

PAIRING: nerdy!roommate!jungkook x fem!OF!reader

GENRE: smut, roommates au, nerd!jk, photography major!jk, friends to fuck buddies, OF!reader, slight fluff.

SUMMARY: After getting various comments about your poor filming skills for your OF page, you finally decided to give in and reach out to the one person that could help you with your problem. However, what started as your roommate just helping you to film your video turned into you begging him to fuck you.

How long would it take for Jungkook to finally give in? After all, all he ever wanted was to be closer to you.

WC: 4.5k

WARNINGS: pwp, this is pure smut (mdni), unprotected sex, smacking, choking, dumbification/slight degradation, jungkook wearing a silver chain (trust me, that needs a warning), riding, jungkook being a complete meanece for real this time, teasing, a lot of pet names, nipple play, slight fingering, jungkook saying that one line from that one live, big dick!jk, very slight fluff at the end bc i didn't know how to end it. lmk if i'm missing something.

A/N: part 2 is here woo! i cannot even explain how much i love this jungkook, like omg nerdy!jk is just a yes for me. Anyway, i hope u guys like it and enjoy it as much as i did writing it. As always lmk ur thoughts on the comments or through asks, feedback is always appreciated. Happy reading <3!

part 1 | masterlist

Moans, lewd and whiny moans filled the room. A mixture of breathless words, nonsensical chants and obscene sounds engulfed both of your ears, pulling you into a dreamy dimension where only your and Jungkook’s body existed. The reality of it all was that the man in front of you was taking you places that you never thought of reaching, all in the comfortness of your bed. His hands, once timid and careful, were now running wild over your body, eliciting the most beautiful noises out of you. His avid fingers were pressing hard enough in the right spots while his mouth was eagerly devouring yours. 

It was only you and him, him and you; nothing else mattered in the world, only the warm touches and harsh curses thrown to the wind whenever either of you would bring pleasure to the other. The video —which was the main reason for you two to end up like this— was long forgotten, with the camera still aiming to the spot you two were sitting at but neither of your bodies were in sight. Jungkook was nice enough to carry you to the bed and lay you down to get more comfortable.

“You deserve better than just pillows and a blanket.” He said, waiting for you to wrap your legs around his waist to finally get up.

Everything leading up to this moment felt like a fever dream, the attempts to dirty talk, the way Jungkook used his fingers to pleasure you, the pet names and the look that coated his face when he watched you come on his hand; it felt like the most cliche plot for a porno. Asking my roommate to help me with something ends up with us fucking; you were sure that if you browsed for a few minutes in the hub you would find at least ten videos with the same storyline, but here you were, being another addition to the list, the only difference is that this wasn’t a raunchy film that you could find on the dark side of the internet, it was your life, and you were about to fuck your roommate.

“I need to ask before this goes any further.” Jungkook's breathless voice sounded so good that it almost distracted you from what he was saying. “Are you completely sure about this?”

“Kook, baby, I appreciate you asking, but if you don’t put your dick in me, I’ll kick you out of the apartment.” You deadpanned. 

Jungkook chortled at your response, pulling away just enough to undress. You waited patiently, enjoying the view he was providing you with. His honey-like skin glistened under the neon lights after taking off his black shirt; abs were in full display along with his big biceps. His right arm was adorned with an array of tattoos that he collected all through the years he’s been living with you. Who would have thought that under all those baggy clothes was hidden such a hot body? It often baffled you how different his appearance was compared to his personality; Jungkook looked like a cinnamon roll with the body of a certified fuckboy, however, he wouldn’t catch you complaining, especially not now. The brown-haired guy took his glasses off, carefully placing them on your night-stand, and just as you were about to protest, your roommate was quick to form a knowing smile on his face.

“I know you like them on me, but it’ll be impractical to fix them all the time while I fuck you dumb, don’t you think?” It was ridiculous how much his voice and words affected you. “Let’s keep them away from now.”

You couldn’t even form a proper response to that, other than a meck nod. You were hypnotized by the way he was taking his clothes off. Jungkook was now left with his usual pair of baggy jeans that were low enough to show the hem of his Calvins, he also had a silver chain wonderfully hanging from his neck; you often daydream about it, imagining how the cold material would feel against your skin, dangling just close enough to your face that you could simply take a bite and pull him down to meet your lips. It seemed like you were about to find out.

“Can you leave it on?” You requested signaling to his chain. 

“Sure thing, pretty.” He flashed you a smile, pulling away his hands from the necklace. 

You really needed to get used to this side of Jungkook, otherwise you weren’t going to survive the night, although you had a feeling that it wouldn’t really make a difference considering what was about to happen. 

Both of his hands drifted down to undo his pants, pulling them down easily and tossing them somewhere in your room. Next thing was his underwear, a pair of black Calvins that were just tight enough to reveal his evident hard-on. Even with the fabric covering that area you could still make out its length. It looked bigger than what you were expecting, which only added to your eagerness. Without further ado —and driven by the sudden confidence, Jungkook took them off, letting his thick cock spring free from its confinements. You couldn’t help to let out a tiny gasp, zeroing on his reddened tip that was already leaking precum. It was in fact bigger than what you assumed he would be, nothing too crazy but drastically larger than the other guys you’ve been with. It was slightly curved to the right, the perfect angle to reach the places you wish him to reach. The veins adorning his cock made you salivate at the thought of what it would feel like against your hot tongue. Would it feel heavy? Would it make you gag? Would it get you crying and turn you into a spit mess? Maybe you will have to wait to find out. Tonight was all about you and him enjoying each other in a closer way, getting a taste of him would have to wait. 

The more you stared at him the more your hands were eager to reach out and stroke it, to see if it would be able to fit in your palm, because judging by its looks, you even doubted that you could take it all. 

“You like what you see?” Jungkook’s voice was the embodiment of sin. Low and raspy with a hint of hesitation that he tried to cover with a faint chuckle. 

Deep down he was feeling nervous once again, feeling too vulnerable and exposed, however, backing down wasn’t an option for him, so instead of letting his insecurities conquer his mind, Jungkook decided to act driven by desire more than rationality. 

“I do, actually.” You answered, staring at him with such a look that made the guy weak in the knees. “Come here, pretty boy.” 

Pulling him by his chain you crashed your lips together, both liberating a satisfied moan when the head of his cock brushed through your folds. His hands, that were on each side of your head, caging you in, fisted the soft material of the pillow in which your head was resting on, all due to the sensation of your hot cunt against his length. 

“Shit.” You breathed out after pulling away. “Do that again.” 

Jungkook only shook his head, confusing you with the sudden rejection. 

“You’re missing something there.” He added, eyes never leaving yours. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Come on, pretty. I know you’re smart enough to figure it out on your own.” His answer was followed by a harsh smack on one of your thighs. “Aren’t you?”

“But I don’t—” Another smack delivered to your tender flesh interrupted you. “Fuck, wait…” The next time his hand impacted against your skin a sting of pain mixed with pleasure spread within you. “Jungkook!” You whined, trying to create some friction on your own. 

“I thought you said you were gonna be good for me.” He mockingly said, colliding his big hand with the flesh of your ass this time. “Why don’t you look back on your manners, hm?” 

This fucker. 

Jeon really was full of surprises, or so it seems, because just when you thought he would go easy on you, he pulled this. 

“Seriously? All of this over me not saying, what? Please?” You sassily argued back. 

“Is that how you wanna act right now, doll?” He raised one of his eyebrows, questioning you in such a way that got you wondering what would be the appropriate approach. “I’d be careful with what I say if I were you.” 

“What if I don’t want to?” 

The question hung in the air for a few seconds before Jungkook pulled away from you completely. His hands reached out for your waist, holding you with a strong grip. 

“Turn around.” He ordered. A few more seconds passed before he turned you around himself. “And just so we are clear, I’m not repeating myself tonight.”

Ass in the air, completely exposed to him. It excited you what his next move would be, but it was also killing you not knowing what he was up to. 

His hands were caressing your sides slowly, distracting you for a second with his touches from what was coming your way. 

“It seems like you can’t keep up with your promises.” It was sudden, completely unexpected; the sound of skin being slapped echoed through the room. His tattooed hand colliding with your ass. “So I might need to remind you what you asked for.” 

The next one felt harsher than the last one, eliciting a deep moan out of you and making your whole body move forward. This is not what you imagined that your night would be like, and you were definitely not expecting your roommate to turn into such a brat tamer. However, what surprised you the most is how much you actually liked it. This whole scenario in which Jungkook was simply handling you in any way he wanted was far way better than what your fantasies were about. The way he talked to you; the fact that he knew just the right amount of strength he needed to use to make you whimper in pleasure rather than pain; the tender touch he would provide you with before delivering another slap, as if he were preparing your skin for the collision. Everything felt like the perfect wet dream. 

After delivering one last slap to your ass, Jungkook leaned down to place wet kisses all over the area, before admiring the red imprint of his hand on both cheeks. 

“You think you’re ready for me now?” He mockingly asked. “Or should I check?” Not even expecting an actual answer, he slipped two fingers inside your entrance, moving them painfully slow. 

“Jungkook, please…” You whined, burying your face into the pillow. 

“Oh, now you know how to use the word, hm?” His fingers never stopped moving. “How convenient.” 

You shook your head, whimpering and squirming under his touch. “No more, please…”

“No more what? Tell me doll, what do you want from me?”

“No more… teasing.” 

You struggled to answer, letting out a deep breath before looking over your shoulders to glare at him. In hindsight, you should’ve known better than doing so, because the way his sweat-coated skin shone under the red lights almost got you coming on his fingers again. 

“Oh god!” You moaned when his fingers dug deeper into your velvety walls. “Right-fucking-there!” 

And just when you started to feel your walls getting tighter and your stomach feeling funny, Jungkook pulled out, stroking your clit a few times before flipping you over on your back. 

“Why did you stop?” 

“You’re the only one getting all the fun, baby.” He simply answered. “And next time you come, I want you to do it on my cock.” He placed a kiss on your lips before adding, “Where are the condoms?” 

Jungkook wasn’t dumb, he knew you had to have some hidden somewhere in your drawers, he’s seen you buy a package before, and while he had some himself, the brown-eyed boy didn’t think it would be practical to go to his room for it. 

“No need.” Just before he could question your answer, you added, “I’m on the pill.” 

Jungkook couldn’t comprehend what good he did in his past life to get this lucky, but he was thankful for it. 

“Should’ve said that from the start.” 

“Why? You like it raw that much?” You chuckled.

“Only when I have a pretty girl like you under me.”  His lips brushed against yours with a fleeting touch, making you chase after him which caused a smug laugh out of him. “Patient, doll. I’ll give you what you want, but you gotta be on your best behavior. Can you do that for me?” 

You nodded, adding a quick yes right after. Jungkook leaned down once again, placing his hands on each side of your head just like before. He started up kissing your neck, placing wet kisses all over it before reaching your mouth again. It was the perfect distraction from him lining up with your entrance. Before you even knew it, Jeon was pushing his tip right in, slowly and steadily. 

“Oh, fuck, ah…” You moaned out, hands flying over his shoulders. “Jungkook.” His name came out of your mouth as a whimper. 

“I know, pretty, I know.” He rested his forehead against yours. “Fuck, you’re really tight.” 

The brown-haired guy kept pushing in, careful to not hurt you and stopping every now and then to help you get used to his size. It was more than what you would normally take, so it took you a few seconds to go from slight pain to pleasure. Your nails were digging into his honey skin, eliciting a hiss from the guy above you, but not even once did he complain, if anything it looked like he enjoyed that sliver of pain.  

“Oh god, you feel amazing.” Jungkook whispered against your lips when he finally bottomed out. His breath was agitated and it was evident that he was struggling to keep still, yet he managed to do it, waiting for your permission to move. “You're doing so good, baby. Look at you, you took me so well, it’s all in.”  

You tried to look down to where both of your bodies were united. It was just there that reality really hit you; having all of his manhood nestled deep inside you was a whole new sensation, a different kind of feeling. You knew that there was no coming back from this, no going back to normal, no getting the same feeling from anyone else. You could only hope for this to be good enough for your roommate to stay with you. 

“Let me know when I can move, yea?” His breathy voice brought you back from your thoughts, preventing you from overthinking. 

A small nod was your first response, “You can… You can move.” You softly said. 

“Alright, I’ll be gentle okay? Promise I’ll make you feel good.” A sweet kiss was placed on your mouth before his hips started moving. 

Jungkook commenced thrusting in and out, sliding with enough ease inside of you while maintaining a steady pace. You could feel the entirety of him, stretching you out deliciously good. His cock was hitting the right places over and over again, eliciting moan after moan from you. His face had the most beautiful expression you’ve ever seen. Eyes connected to yours, lips parted while panting and cursing, eyebrows furrowed with a slight coat of sweat covering his forehead. Everything was just right.

Jungkook was loving every second of it, the way you were clenching on his length, while looking right up at him with pleading eyes and your nails scratching his skin was something he never thought would love so much. It was until then that he questioned if he was into pain, because the burning sting of your nails digging into his toned back was getting him more excited than it probably should. 

“Shit, Kook, you feel so good right now.” You panted, connecting your lips into a messy kiss. “Faster… I need it faster.”

“Anything you want, doll.”

You didn’t need to tell him twice; going at a slow pace was torturing him. Jungkook was quick to speed up, thrusting in and out of you with such strength that almost made you scream. He continued to fuck you like that, pressing his chest agaisnt yours while leaving a trail of wet kisses from your neck to your collarbones, sliding down with ease until he reached your tits. Jungkook admired them for a few seconds before diving in to close his mouth around one of your nipples. 

“Ah, Jungkook.” You whimpered, feeling his hot tongue circling your already hardened bud. His pace never relented even when his sole focus was on devouring your tits. 

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” He whispered against your skin. His teeth made contact with your sensitive nipple, stealing a gasp from you while some incoherent sentences flew out of your mouth. “What was that, pretty?” 

Jungkook was fucking you so good that it was difficult to even utter a single word. Everything felt so intense, and he was taking good care of you that it felt almost unfair to only lay there and enjoy it, that’s why you tried to compose yourself to voice your request.

“Come on, baby, use your words. Or is it hard for you to speak with your pussy stuffed with my cock, hm?” He mocked you and your little sounds. 

You’ll pay for that later. 

Trying to push him away would be futile so you didn’t even try, instead you glared at him while saying, “I wanna ride you.” It was clear and straight to the point, you needed to experience being on top of Jeon Jungkook while taking all of his cock as deep inside you as you could, at least once in your life. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me, doll.” He breathed out, “But okay, show me what you got.”

In a split of a second, Jungkook was laying down on your bed, staring right at you with lustful eyes and a smirk plastered on his face. His big hands were resting on each side of your hips, caressing your skin tenderly, almost encouraging you to get going with what you wanted to do. With no further ado, you guided his twitching dick to your folds, sliding through them and smearing your juices all over his length; you were enjoying the sensation of his tip nudging your clit when a harsh smack was delivered to your ass.

“No teasing.” Jeon warned you when you looked at him pouting, however, you complied, lining his cock with your entrance, sinking in slowly to enjoy how good he was stretching you out. “There you go, fuck, that’s it, pretty. You’re so good.” He hissed, holding your hips with a stronger grip than before. 

“You feel so big like this.” Throwing your head back, you whimpered out of pleasure, losing yourself in the sensation of his cock reaching deeper into you in this position. 

You started to move, back and forth with a steady pace; hands now resting on his chest to get more comfortable. Little by little you gained speed, sliding up and down just like you always wanted, the sound of skin on skin filled the room, along with the filthy sounds coming from both of your mouths. 

“Shit, that’s it. You look so pretty bouncing on my cock.” Jungkook loved the new view, not only did you feel amazing in this position, with your walls clenching on his girth, but also the way your tits were bouncing up and down with every move was driving him crazy. 

One of his hands reached up to hold your tit, fondling and kneading your tender flesh, however, his hand didn’t stop there. Jungkook felt bold enough to push his hand further up, slithering smoothly until his fingers reached a certain part of your body. Without even thinking, Jungkook wrapped his hand around your neck, just tight enough to make you gasp in surprise but without any ill intent. Nonetheless, it seemed like you weren’t the only one being taken by surprise, because the sudden pressure on your neck was like adding fuel to the fire, encouraging you to fuck yourself harder and faster on his throbing cock, and Jungkook noticed how your whole demeanor changed.

“Look at you,” He chuckled, “You liked being treated like this, huh? Like it when I choke you and smack you hard enough to leave a mark on you?” 

It was cruel the way he was speaking to you, but you couldn’t deny it, if anything it only pushed you to speed up, making your thighs ache and almost fall on his chest completely exhausted. 

“Ju-Jungkook…” You tried to call his name in a pleading voice. It was only then that you recognized the hot feeling forming in the pit of your stomach. Your orgasm was, once again, approaching.

“What? Can’t you answer the question? Are you that dumb to say a simple yes, hm?” His mocking smile was as infuriating as attractive. “Come on, doll, I know you can do better than that.” 

You really tried to hold yourself together, but the more his cock hit your sweet spot, the more your strength crumbled. 

“I- I’m…” It was getting pretty hard to voice your thoughts with his hand around your throat. 

“Am I making it difficult for you to speak?” The hand he placed on your waist was helping you to keep moving, but the one adorning your neck never lessened the grip. “Do you want me to take my hand off? You just have to say please and I’ll do anything you want, pretty.”

How could such a sweet and nice guy turn into a complete meanece in the blink of an eye. Jungkook continued to prove that judging a book by its cover it’s never a good thing, because the way he was acting with you in that moment, was beyond what you imagined he would be like in this type of scenario. 

“Ple-Please,” You begged, “Jungkook… please.” Not even a second passed before you could breathe properly again, his tattooed hand away from your neck. 

You felt like passing out, but his angelic voice brought you back from your hazy state.

“You okay there, Y/n?” He smiled softly at you, confusing you and making your heart skip a beat. Jungkook looked at you with a split of concern and tenderness for a brief second, making a weird feeling spread through your body, one that you were too scared to address. 

“I’m… yes, all good.” You nodded. 

“I’m glad to hear that.” Both of his hands were back to holding your hips. “Because I’m not done, understand?” His eyes had that evil glint once again.

Before you could even ponder on his switching attitude, his strong arms wrapped themselves around your waist, forcing you to rest on top of him, chest to chest and face so dangerously close to yours.

“I know you’re close, baby, stay like this and I’ll give you exactly what you want.”

And so you did, burying your face in the crook of his neck while Jungkook positioned himself the right way to slam his cock into you with hard and fast thrusts. Your whimpers were muffled against his skin, while his moans filled your ears. He sounded so pretty, chanting your name the more you clenched on him.

“Shit, I’m getting close too.” Jungkook announced. 

“Please, I wanna cum…” You begged, pulling away from his neck to look at him with pleading eyes. “I can’t hold it.”

“I’m almost there, doll, wait for me, come on.”

His hands started to slide down to get a hold of your ass while still thrusting into you at such a relentless pace. So persistent and intense, every touch, move and caress felt ten times more than before, your whole body was sensitive that it was so difficult for you to hold it together, you desperately needed to have your release. Jungkook was aware of it, it was so painfully clear how bad you needed to cum, how desperate you were for him and his cock.

“I’m gonna fill you up so good.” His husky voice rang through your ears, making goosebumps coat your skin. “Fuck, I’m right there, baby, come with me. Make a mess on my dick.” 

It was automatic the way your body reacted to his command. A needy moan abandoned your mouth while your hands fisted the sheets in which the both of you were laying. You finally came on Jungkook’s cock, clenching so deliciously tight, meanwhile your whole body shook with the intense feeling of your awaited release. 

“Fuck, so good… Y/n, shit.” You couldn’t even pay attention to whatever the brown-haired boy was saying; completely lost in the moment and how well you felt. “I’m gonna come.”

With a final thrust, Jungkook finally unraveled, filling you to the brim with his warm cum. Hips stuttering and voice completely hoarse while calling your name. It felt so good to hear him like that, so breathless and spent; weak and whiny, so needy for you and only you. 

It took you a few minutes to fully recover from such an intense moment. Neither of you dared to speak once the rush of your orgasm finally subsided, you laid there, on his firm chest, breathing his scent and relishing in the sensation of his fingers caressing your back with a soft touch. 

“Are you… Are you okay?” There was a pinch of shyness in your roommates voice, almost as if his dominant persona vanished the moment he got his release. “I wasn’t too much, was I?”

You giggled against his warm skin, lazily shaking your head to answer his concerns. 

“It was way better than I expected.” You confessed, feeling your cheeks heat up due to that. “I gotta admit that you surprised me, though. I didn’t know you could be like that.”

Jungkook sighed softly, feeling satisfied with your response but slightly amused by your comment. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, yet.” 

It was the way he said it that piqued your interest, promising and inviting, as if he was trying to lure you into discovering just how much you still needed to learn about him. And just like Jungkook wanted, you fell right into it.

“Maybe you can show me.” Lifting your head slowly, you stared into his beautiful brown eyes, waiting for a reaction.

“Are you sure you want to get into that?” 

You nodded, eyes drifting down to set on his puffy lips. Jungkook didn’t think twice before leaning in to kiss you, slow and soft, with so much care that almost made you feel dizzy. 

“Alright, I’ll show you all of me.” 

taglist 🏷️: @petalsofink @goldietigers294 @ggukieshoe @jk-190811 @hanamgi @internetbelle @songbyeonkim @berryonasummerevening @lanyia @rpwprpwprpwprw @brokebitch-101 @satisfied18 @nikixkoo @susansemolinathrower

[g1rlken]

Last golden thoughts

Bucky Barnes x fem!exwife reader

*follows the original thunderbolts plot line and thunderbolts!Bucky

Warnings: minor spoilers, mild swearing, angst?

Word count: 4.7k+

summary: Congressman Barnes’ marriage did not end for the better only for his paths to cross again with his ‘wife’ in the most unpleasant fashion where he last expected her to be

an: you guys went crazy over this so I had to finish this in two days we are sooooooo back

—

​As red guardian’s fancy, gaudy and however bulletproof-ish limousine made a flip at Bucky’s detonator. The relieved group of delinquents inside were overcome with shock, bracing themselves for the fall, gripping handles tightly as the surprisingly present airbags opened in their faces. Ghost was the first one out evidently being more equipped to exit in the blink of an eye. Others fell with a thud a collective ache in everyone’s joints, groaning trying to find their way out ever so impatiently. Ghost broke the door open as Bucky was getting closer. In the front seat red guardian needed most strength to be extracted out of the vehicle.

By then Bucky had reached with a task at hand, Ava and Yelena focused more on trying to get red guardian out, “Not cool man” Alexei said in his heavy accent to the long haired who they’d assumed was here to help them.

With a swift tug with his metal arm Bucky pulled the backseat door right off its hinges, before he could lean John was already on his way out, the person following John out made his eyes widen. “You?!” He exclaimed putting his hands on her shoulders instinctively but she brushed him off and got out herself. “Have you lost your mind?! Don’t tell me you were in the goddamn vault with these-“

Standing up on her feet instantly, trying to regain balance given her vision was a bit dizzy after going through a flipping car. “You lunatic-“ she lunged at him but she was still evidently dizzy and had weak steps, he easily dodged. “You could have gotten us all killed!”

“Stop, stop!” Bucky’s hands were surprisingly of a gentle grip on her shoulders yet again, wanting her to find her footing again. “Are you alright?” He asked scanning for major injuries, if he had known she was in the car he would approached in a way less reckless way.

“Get off of me-!” Taken aback by his might to just downplay the weight of the situation, falling into old habits like they were getting reunited or something.

“Husband mode eh?” Alexei commented with a snicker, Bucky took it well, someone else didn’t.

“He’s not my husband!” She barked almost instantly and pushed Bucky even further, even after he’d let go off her shoulders.

Another truck circled around them, “With me” Bucky told them expecting them to follow without much resistance was really some heavy wishful thinking.

The red guardian was already walking, a lot of faith in the metal armed man when Yelana stoped him by his arm, “And why should we just follow you after you crashed us?”

“Bucky you do realise you could get years for attempted murder on captain America-“ Jon was stopped mid sentence by the others taking an offence at him calling himself captain America and less bothered by the attempted murder.

“You were all being chased by trucks with machine guns and I’m sure more are on the way. This is the middle of nowhere if you have better options than getting in the truck you’re all very welcome to do so” Bucky said crossing his arms, the truck driver probably one of bucky’s favour agents got on his bike and left the truck for him.

Red guardian was the first to pitch in to agree with him, Yelena and Ava had their suspicions. “It’s the worse of two I suppose” Ava said with a sigh.

“It’s not like you have anything on us and we outnumber you so there’s that.” Yelana started walking as the rest followed, no obvious threat so far.

“If it’s our help you need Bucky you know you can just ask.” Walker said with his ever high confidence in himself, it never fails to be less staggering.

“Are you people actually considering this?!” Y/n was the only one who stayed put in her place not trusting everyone’s and especially bucky’s instincts to follow him into god knows where, “We can’t trust this man-“

“‘This man’ honey? Really?” Bucky quoted her absolute disregard for their history like he was some stranger she detested so much. He wasn’t walking back to the truck either, well aware of stubborn she was he was ready to let this play out for a while and eventually take matters, her, quite literally into his own hands.

“Don’t call me that!” The disgust on her face was as though he had committed at atrocity, the others had already started accommodating themselves in the truck for her to get her point across.

“You know all this anger really isn’t good for your health.” He told her, leaning a bit forward and she stiffened.

“You know what would be good for you? Letting me be” she told him uncrossing her arms and the last of her ‘loser’fest team were already walking into the truck.

“Why would you get yourself into this mess? You know you are better than this and please don’t tell me you were in the vault” it felt so natural to fall back into old habits for Bucky. The soft scolding with an undertone of concern and frustration. He didn’t miss this feeling of dread that he was yet again so close to losing her but he was grasping at straws into conversations with her, after the divorce she had blocked his number, locked their old apartment just recently because he kept finding reasons to visit her over and over. Even stopped all streaming subscriptions he couldn’t even work through without her so if this was the conversation he could make he’d take what he can get.

“You are the last person I’m answerable to.” She clarified him losing his keeping tabs privileges on her as their marriage fell. It was the least pleasant feeling to be harsh against anyone, even him, despite of what he did. But if it she acted even a bit less colder it would give him hope to no end. So she kept it up and walked across him, he stayed unmoving from her way and her shoulder brushed his somewhat rudely she didn’t even account it. He felt good about her casually striding against him as if his touch didn’t repel her anymore. Idiot.

Before she could climb into the back of the truck with the rest of them he stopped her getting inside himself first and swiftly started cuffing everyone, “hey what the hell” Yelena said struggling against him but those high tech binds were so swift she couldn’t retaliate in enough time.

“Come on Bucky you know me is this really necessary?” John scoffed trying to break free of the cuffs but or was no use.

“She was right” Ava said nodding at the woman standing outside the truck unfazed Bucky would pull this, trying to make the run for it into ghost mode but the cuffs kept her hands in place so she couldn’t even move forward in her projecting form.

“You, in the front” Bucky said looking back at her and she obviously defied it.

“Why?” She scoffed not wanting to walk into his plan after he literally cuffed all her acquaintances. “We are not your little evidential gifts against Valentina”

“She did try to kill you all” Red guardian chimed in as Yelena nodded about the fact.

“It doesn’t align with our principles if he is the one who turns us in, we could do it ourselves” the fact that ‘Congressman Barnes’ would get all credit for brining Valentina’s assets in after they risked their lives to get out really didn’t sit right with her.

“Why would we turn ourselves in at all?” Ava questioned not really into the idea of getting under oath whatsoever.

“Exactly. It is up to us what we decide not him” So glad the others saw her point at least now, despite of walking into getting themselves tied up.

“It really isn’t” he shrugged and pointed to another one of automobiles from vault’s base at a far distance. “Say no and I’d leave you all here to fend for yourself.” No one but her would be ready to call his bluff. He knew that she knew that too well that he would rather fight off nearly everyone in that truck than put her in harm’s way but he had to convince the others somehow and it seemed to work well enough as he got out of the back container to get into the driver’s seat.

“Why doesn’t she get tied up?” John questioned as she had to walk to the passenger seat on Bucky’s uncalled for demand.

“She is the missus!” Red guardian said stating the obvious and a shrug, already under the cool influence of Bucky to question it.

“They’re divorced” John pointed out

“Doesn’t seem like it was mutual” Yelena commented gaining a snicker from Alexei.

-

In the front, looking out the window as Bucky pushed it on the accelerator, “Where are we going?”

“New York” he answered her without much debate or resistance, if he were to recall there was never a time he could lie to her. He would never want to.

She didn’t have much questions to ask because she didn’t want to give answers to the ones he would ask back, not without consulting the rest anyways. Besides she would rather turn herself in than to afford another conversation with him. With a heavy sigh she looked out the window crossing her arms.

He looked in her direction, eyes softening despite the gravity of the situation they were in. The exhaust on her face was evident, “There are some pain killers in the cabinet.” He told her.

No response for her equated to her disinterest in taking them, he knew she hated any sort of antibiotics or meds just to push through her pain but it was worth the shot, as stubborn as she was he hates her open wounds. He opened the cabinet and got out the patching kit, whilst his other hand was still on the steering wheel. He opened the pack between his teeth and applied antiseptic on the patches, without asking he put it on her forehead where she’s seemed to have taken a bad hit. “Ow” she grumbled in pain but needless to say it was a required patchwork for the bleeding. “I’ve got it” she said taking it from his hand on her forehead into her own.

Her palms against his arm…he hadn’t felt it in so long. His hand was much larger in her comparison he’d always noted that. Being reminded of that again made him want to intertwine his fingers in hers and hope she could undo every moment he had to be away from her.

Eventually he took his hand away and put it on the driving clutch, even though it wasn’t a manual drive, he just couldn’t contain the life coursing through him after her hands touched him against. It’s these minuscule of interactions with her that gave him so much purpose. At first when he saw her in the flipped car he felt awful she was here in the first place but now he has her right next to him on the road to New York and he feels bad for wishing the miles are longer than they usually are.

“Hey this is not a manual drive” she was quick to pick that up when he didn’t take his hand off the clutch for a while being lost in thought, unrecovered from her touch.

“Oh” he nodded taking his hand off and back to the steering, “I know” he had to shift the conversation “You practised on our old manual when you were renewing your license right?”

“Your old manual was a good car” she said emphasising on ‘your’ given the fall out.

“I wonder why we let it go.” He was left bemused trying to remember what was the reason to let it go given it wasn’t a bad car.

“You wanted to let it go because it was taking up too much space in the garage after the engine got way too old to be repaired” She reminded him thinking back to it now, it had become an old junk but the two of them held onto it for quite a while. Working on it on the weekends, basically he’d work on it and she would keep the conversation. She had a joke that Bucky was pursuing his abandoned mechanic dream every weekend on that car, that black sleeveless vest top laying his biceps all bare and as hot as he was working on the engine she hated the grime and the smell of automobile oil, he would purposely encage her between his arms and kiss her all over, then shower together later. Snap out of it.

“Had a good run with it, it even had a cassette player system” Bucky looked at her but she wasn’t looking back at him. Clearing her throat she shifted in her seat, they got rid of that car before they had a conversation of getting rid of their marriage but maybe the forthcoming was evident.

“It didn’t have that you modified it that way because we had a lot of cassettes between us” she corrected him as her lips curled into a small smile.

“Oh right” he nodded mirroring her smile, it just happened with him involuntarily every time she smiled and this was his first time in a while. “I think I lost some from my set, I maybe have 10-12 tapes left which is crazy given my set had about a 100”

“How would you lose them you never took them out of the house?” She asked with a faux confused look on her face.

“Exactly! It’s like they just vanished” he told her shaking his head, “I think the house needs a bit going over for me to find them”

Just humming in response she leaned back in the seat as the two fell into silence again, it wasn’t comfortable but it wasn’t awkward either. Nostalgia was often ugly. Their minds were going through ugly sweet things, Bucky’s mind wasn’t going through nostalgia it was in its usual state: consistent reminiscing of their marriage. In his life he didn’t have much things to lose in the first place except for her, she was the last golden thoughts he could have before he’d sleep and the first before he’d wake up all day, everyday. He didn’t have much to think back to fondly but it changed when she walked out of his life.

As he drove through the terrains, glancing through both the side view mirrors then back at her, she had fallen asleep. Leaning against the window, her eyes closed with a completely serene expression on her face he hadn’t seen in so long. She had actually fallen asleep around him. The scene had a strange intimacy to him, the fact that her mind still considered him safe enough to fall asleep around. Even after all dodged calls and messages, all the get-outs, changing her ways to not come across him in the city, telling everyone her mistrust in ‘this man’ yet she could fall asleep with him at the wheel just like the old times.

When they reached the abandoned safe house Bucky didn’t deem it proper to wake her up when she was already so exhausted. The others tied up and over explaining the Bob situation did not let her absence go unnoticed “What did you do with her?!” Ava asked, high suspicions it wasn’t good.

“We should have listened when she told us to be careful about you, he probably left her back there” Yelena said with a scoff, such a decorated man stooping so low.

“Woah woah” Bucky was crazed at the fact that these people assumed that he would hurt her, of all people. “She is still in the truck, she was sleeping very soundly so I didn’t want to wake her up.”

The red guardian snickered, “A real lover!” He commented in a positive way.

“Grow a pair, Bucky” John scoffed leaning against his binds, the man was on the phone for a while and would’ve happily disregarded Walked’s comments anyways.

“Are you like the podcast men?” Alexei asked facing Walker.

“—What does that mean?”

“Toxic masculinity, not good, insecure—bad just bad, are you them?” Alexei listed off his

very accurate descriptions of men who run podcasts.

“Men who run podcasts aren’t all that” Walker said rolling his eyes at the man’s poor judgement of those guys. “Besides Bucky is not a real lover, he’s freshly divorced”

“Do you not see the wedding ring?” Alexei asked nudging in bucky’s direction, the thick gold band was hard to miss: by anyone.

“Probably just wears it because it’s real gold or something” which was a bit ironic because even as a separated husband he didn’t have one on.

“On his wedding finger?” Ava asked raising a brow as she indulged in the divorce too, tied up they had nothing better to talk about.

Before Yelena could pitch in her two cents too, Bucky got off the phone and started freeing the set of ‘thunderbolts’ out of their ties. Giving them a brief explanation of wanting to help Bob they were all on board, as they headed back down to the truck, it was empty. The back and the front, the highly trained ex assassin went full into visible panic mode with her out of sight. A specific drop of his heart only her absence could cause him to feel.

It was difficult trying to explain to the bunch of all-of-a-sudden-ride-or-dies god knows where she picked up from, that her husband of three years and counting with a small bump of divorce of four months would be the last person in this world to hurt her. However difficult it was he managed to get his point across and decided they were off to a detour before getting to Valentina’s HQs.

Once they loaded back in the truck he drove with determination to get where he had deduced he would find her. Their old apartment, she kept her original gear there. If there was one thing he knew about her she was to never back down from a fight, however big and impossible. That had been his biggest fright throughout their marriage, not a single bone in his body had moved on from.

Bucky thought he could fetch her back down himself but he thought wrong, apparently they did not trust him with her so all or thunderbolts went up the six story building. As expected the door was open, “How many times have I told you to keep this locked?” It really wasn’t difficult to fall back into old habits. Always leaving in a hurry, always forgetting to lock doors. He thought to himself but it wasn’t just about locking the door when he hoped the door was open.

“Again?!” She exclaimed walking out of the bedroom into the living fixing the belts around her gear, her old gear. The most trusted one. It was a superstition of hers really, Bucky knew it affected nothing no combat flexibility or space…it was just old. “How did you all not manage to lose him?”

“We didn’t know if you left or he did something” Ava filled her in about her doubting their capabilities to lose Bucky by choice.

“He wouldn’t.”

“—I wouldn’t!”

Both of them said at the same time.

To avert the sync she refocused on strapping her knives into her suit, in all places and possible belt gaps. “Hey, is that mine?” Bucky’s attention went to the set of two in her hands she was about to fixate.

“No it’s not.” Caught, she hurriedly tried to wrap it in her suit.

“Yes it is, those are mine!” He huffed; it had been a long while since he had to be in a position where he would need all his knives but he remembers and counts all the ones he’s had and he knew exactly which ones were missing, surprisingly right after the divorce. “That set is a wedding gift from Sam if I remember correctly!”

“Exactly! It was my wedding too I can keep them!” She stood her ground, well aware it was a set of two, one for him&her type but it was too beautiful to break the set and she wanted both those knives. He hadn’t noticed it this entire time.

“You don’t get to keep them both I get to keep one.” He argued, validly so. “I can’t believe you just took these both with you letting me know once”

“You never asked! All this time you kept coming at my place for the pillow covers, cushions-literally last month you knocked on my door because you thought I took the tv remote with me! You never asked about these” she pointed at the knives and somewhere along the lines both of them knew Bucky was just finding reasons to see her again and she was allowing it too.

“Wow” Yelena commented at the desperate measure. Given the time they were short on this bickering was too intresting to be stopped abruptly.

In the haste to keep the knives to herself in her suit dropped it, giving Bucky the leverage to pick it up and examine it. He bent down to get it and found stored cassettes in the coffee table. “You have got to be kidding me!” He exclaimed frustrated as he got out all the cassettes, he thought were missing. “You had these the whole time?!”

“—I must have packed them by mistake when I moved out” she shrugged trying to downplay how purposeful it was but he saw through it.

“These are all my classics, you didn’t even ask me before taking them in the settlement?!” Bucky huffed going through the tapes.

Cursing under her breath she face palmed herself, for some reason this day was getting way too long. “Look I know the divorce agreement never said-“

“I didn’t even read that” Bucky scoffed shuffling through the tapes he thought he had ‘lost.’

“You signed it without reading?” Surprised she raised her brows.

He put the box down on the coffee table and nodded with a shrug, making a mental note that he will come by at her place over and over for all the tapes and not just take them altogether. There were around 93 tapes in there which belonged to him. 93 excuses to see her. “It was you, I just trust you.”

“See!” Alexei cackled giving Walker a big pat on his back for being right about the lovers fact. “Very silver springs”

“Silver springs?” Yelena asked raising her brows at the refrence.

“Like the song.” Alexei spoke with his thick accent ‘Like zhe songh’ “Never get away from the sound of a woman that loved you” he even relayed the lyrics from the group, Ava nodding at the obvious relation.

“He still wears the wedding ring though” Yelena pointed out trying to frame the dynamics of who’s who for the song reference.

“He would be Stevie Nicks.” Ava clarified stating the obvious as Alexei smiled wide at her, nothing like someone getting the perfect reference.

“What the hell?” The ex wife in question did not take that insult lightly, she didn’t point it out all these months why he still kept wearing the wedding ring. “Real good manipulation tactics, Congressman Barnes.”

“I didn’t even say anything!” Bucky exclaimed unsure how he got under the bus even though the Silver Springs refrence say very right with him. Eire how that refrence came up when no one knew he’s been having sessions of that song in his car ever since she left.

“You need to take off that wedding ring and the whole oh-she-left-me boo hoo theatrics like it wasn’t a mutual decision!” She let out unable to keep it in after these months of heartbroken yet preserving congressman Barnes, all the press issues.

“You know it wasn’t.” Bucky shot back, “I just didn’t want to you to work for Valentina and look what you’re gearing up for! The woman who tried to incinerate you!”

“It was a miscalculation of the job I took up and I got myself alive out of that” it was so frustrating trying to debate this again.

“You chose working for her over me! Over our marriage!” Bucky’s voice grew a bit louder than when he said before and the others just witnessed this break out awkwardly.

“Shouldn’t we let them have this conversation privately?” John muttered looking for the cue to exit this scene.

“No.” Alexei, regardless of his fanboy tendencies towards Barnes, he was somewhat interested in witnessing this, he was the least tensed person in the room. Ava and Yelena didn’t want to exit for the sake of interjecting just in case.

“No I chose a life you couldn’t dictate!” She cried out just as intensely as his voice. “And do not put this on me as if you don’t know what you did.”

“I saved your life that day. Just like today.” Bucky said in a lower voice flatly. Very unbothered and cold to the notion of saving her life, it was such a given to him. She would put herself in such situations and he would just have to make do. Reckless with not much thought but he could always rely on himself to keep that head over her shoulder.

“You put me in danger that day!” The agony in her voice was so evident, “You let me work on that assignment for months and on the final day—you leaked my coordinates on purpose so that Congressmen Barnes can have the best packet, you wanted to Valentina dragged to court and you got that at my expense.”

Putting his arms on his hips; taking in a deep breath. It was planned yes, he gave the feds her location for the OXE group mission she was put on, he could have told her to never take up the job but it had already led to so many countless fights. She had helped him through his electoral campaigns, supported him through it all but it just wasn’t the right fit for her. Combat was all she had known life to be so far, so her let her have her gigs. However he didn’t realise she could also work for Valentina without much thought and by the time he could pitch in she had already accepted the joke. He could have stopped it then too, but he didn’t. There was a bigger gig for him in it, exposing his wife’s secret assignment is how he got Valentina into impeachment proceedings.

Bucky wasn’t proud of keeping it a secret from her the entire time she was working on that assignment but it didn’t prove to be non fruitful, “I am the one who had to bear the expense of you leaving because you didn’t have it in yourself to stay, you just ran. Like a coward. Like always.”

That was a poke at a really old wound, she wasn’t a habitual leaver but at times when stuff got emotionally thick her fight or flight response was not fight. The first time, before they were even together…she always stayed away and distant and after their job was done, Sam upholding the shield. She just left. Leaving everything between Bucky and herself to be unsaid and be lost in fragments of season he just went after her, got the girl and the resr was history. Wretched, domestic, sad, far, a marriage in their history. However she couldn’t stomach that, “You piece of shit-!” She lunged at him full force and he barely held up his defence. More than happy for her to have at it.

“Woah woah woah” Walker spoke as chaos erupted in the small living room itself, not even out in the field yet.

Yelena got a hold of her however Ava wasn’t into the idea of not letting her get her frustration out, Alexei pulled back away, “We are the thunderbolts. Thunderbolts don’t fight ourselves. Not like this.” He said as the fight seemed to break.

“I am no teammates with any of you, especially that man!“ anger still coursing through her she pointed at Bucky as Yelena kept swaying her farther.

“Yeah yeah I think he gets it” Yelena tried to soothe her anger down so he could move on from this outburst.

“Can we just move on with the task at hand?” Before John could even finish that sentence Bucky was walking out the apartment broodingly, slamming the door open out of his way.

She stayed in her place taking in a few deep breaths in order to process it fast enough as everyone left, Yelena stayed with her, nodding off to red guardian in a small look that said ‘I’ve got her.’ “You okay?”

“-Yeah…let’s just get going.”

-

Please let me know if this story is a drag…for some reason it seemed better in my head than this! Regardless tune in for final two if you liked it! ;)

tags: @blowingbarnes @pattiemac1 @scrumptiousloser @suffragette-cities @toaster-fork @accoochtrement @forthelovelyheart @western-nightss @itsmeamysworld @taniamunson @dakota-rain666 @seventeen-x @bvckys-doll

[gracieheartspedro]

Cherry Stems

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 3.1k

description: eddie rejects your advances because his friends are around. so you use them to your advantage. piss eddie off and maybe you'll get what you want. maybe.

warnings: MDNI! 18+ only pls, age not specified but i imagine eddie/reader are 20+, porn without much plot, major teasing, reader is a brat, mentions of eating food, reader has no food aversions, nicknames, reader is flirting with eddie's bandmates, jealousy, possessiveness, name calling, face grabbing, eddie is lowkey a dom, unprotected p in v, fingering (vaginal), oral fixation, eddie puts his fingers in your mouth a lot, reader gets off on being bullied, orgasm denial, cum play, cum eating.... think that's it.

author’s note: hi i wrote this in one night. i am a whore for eddie, what else can i say. i'm also down to take requests, so if you see this, hey, send me an ask. maybe i'll cave and do some. as always, thanks bestie girl @amanitacowboy for helping me with this. let's never forget how much of a whore we are for this man. it keeps me (in)sane <3

Eddie had been teasing you all night and it was really starting to get to you. 

After a pretty electric performance at The Hideout, Eddie and his friends decided that they were hungry for some burgers from the empty Shiny Diner nearby. You had already had enough of Eddie’s shit at this point, so as soon as you sat next to him in the big half moon shaped booth, you knew it was game on. 

From eyeing you while he sang filthy lyrics from the stage, to the way he was working his hand up the hem of your dress when you sat at the bar, Eddie was truly being a menace. When the band got loud in the car on the way to the diner, you decided to make your move. You had rested your hand on Eddie’s crotch while sitting in the bucket seat next to him. While Eddie loved giving a good show, he was not keen on letting his friends see you in such a way. So he brushed your hand away and gave you the ‘not now’ eyes. 

You were for him and him only.

It aggravated you to no end, watching him rejoin the conversation with the guys, while you crossed your arms in disappointment.

But you were going to push some buttons tonight. You were going to get him back.

Gareth, Jeff, and Grant were all very sweet boys. Each of them have never been nothing but respectful of you. Gareth had known you longer than Eddie and he was actually the one who introduced you two. Jeff was usually a know-it-all, but he never dared question anything you said. And Grant… he was just quiet. Always following along with the antics and very well mannered. 

While you respected all the boys back, you also knew they found you attractive and that you could take advantage of that. After one specific smoke session together a couple months back, Eddie asked them all if they had a crush on you. He only ever said things like that to make them squirm. Teasing each other was the way they showed their love for one another. He also liked to remind people that they never stood a chance with you. And they all said that of course they found you pretty, but they would not dare go after you. 

Well, for one night only, you would give them believe they had a chance. Just to piss off Eddie. 

You had done this before. A year into your relationship, you had unintentionally made him jealous and it led to the most mind blowing sex of your life. The sex was so memorable that you do not even remember how you made him jealous. 

You needed that just about now. 

You were the only group there along with the waitress and line cook, so you were not worried about making a scene. You game plan how you were going to achieve such a feat as you scan the diner menu. You already knew what you wanted, but spotting the milkshakes on the list of drinks, a light bulb went off in your brain. 

The older waitress took down the boy’s order while you sat quietly staring at the menu. When it came down to you, you look up at the white haired woman and smiled. 

“One chocolate shake, extra whip cream and cherries, please.” You hand her the menu and glance over at a confused Eddie. You usually got a Dr. Pepper and a cheeseburger value meal, hold the lettuce. 

“Not hungry, baby?” He asks, reaching out for your black painted nails. You slide your hand away, acting like you are reaching for something in your purse. 

“Just wanna try something new.”

You pull your lipgloss out, still not looking over at Eddie. You twist off the top, placing the applicator on the middle of your bottom lip as your eyes flicker over to Grant’s. He is not paying much mind to anything, his eyes looking towards the window behind you. When he takes note of your gaze, he finally looks at you. 

You swipe the gloss across your lips, smirking devilishly. 

“What did you get, Grant?”

He thinks for a beat, realizing even he forgot what he ordered. “Uh… BLT with onion rings.”

You smack your lips together, rubbing your top lip on the bottom one painfully slow. 

“You gonna share your onion rings?”

He was not expecting the question, his lips curling upward before he chuckles. You can feel Eddie’s body stiffen as you ask the question. 

Grant nods, though, “Of course. You can have some-” “Baby, you’re not gonna eat his food.” You shoot a glare at Eddie, tossing your gloss back in your pocketbook. “Grant said I could, so… yeah I am.”

Eddie’s eyes search yours, trying to figure out what you are trying to do. You disguise your pleasure at his curiosity, rolling your eyes and pointing your attention at Jeff. He’s positioned right next to Grant, fiddling with his fingers. Before you can press him with a question, the waitress comes and puts down your drinks. She’s missing your milkshake. 

“That’ll be out in just a moment,” She says, grabbing her tray as she returns behind the counter, seemingly preparing your shake. You watch Jeff fiddle with his straw wrapper and you finally decide to bother him next. 

“Is that Dr. Pepper?” You ask, already knowing the answer. Jeff always got Dr. Pepper, just like you. It’s something you two bonded over often. He just nods, taking a sip of the bubbly beverage. You look over at the waitress quickly, seeing she’s still fiddling with the milkshake blender. 

You grab Jeff’s ice cold glass, your eyes glistening with innocence, “You mind if I have a sip? I’m parched.” And of course he’s too confused to say no. You pull the drink over and once it crosses to your side of the table, Eddie’s hand presses into your bare thigh. You do not react, taking Jeff’s straw into your mouth and sucking in a big sip, your eyes never leaving his. Once you pull the plastic away, you smirk. 

“Thanks, hun.” You push the drink back to him slowly. His cheeks heat up instantly when he notices your lipgloss on the tip of the straw. Eddie’s hand only squeezes more, trying to get you to look over at him. 

He wanted your attention so bad, his body curving closer to you. You can feel his gaze stuck onto the side of your face. 

Before anyone says anything else, the white haired lady returns with your chocolate shake. You giddedly grab the glass and stuff a straw into the frozen drink. 

You use your tongue to toy with the end of the straw, pulling it into your open mouth. Your eyes flicker away from Jeff and take aim at Gareth, who’s seated right across from you. Since he’s known you so long, you can already read on his face that he knows what you are up to. He may be a nice guy, but he too loves to fuck with Eddie. 

He was going to help you in whatever way possible. Instead of you initiating conversation, he speaks up. 

“Chocolate, huh? Thought you’d like vanilla.” Your eyebrow quirks up. You know Eddie’s face is bright red next to you. The heat radiating from him is pressing into your shoulder and thigh. 

“You got me pegged as a vanilla girl? That’s a bit offensive, Gare,” You smile, calculating your next move. You look down at the pile of whipped cream on the top of the shake. You drag your pointer finger across the top, gathering the cream all around it. 

You hear Eddie whispering beside you. “You better fuckin’ not.”

You smile, bringing your finger to your lips, not peeling your eyes from Gareth. You know the tension is palpable because Gareth’s smile is only widening when you lick the cream off your finger. 

The other guys are gawking at you at this point. You were putting on a show and they could not even fathom that it was happening before their very eyes. 

Gareth finally says something, nodding at the milkshake. “And extra cherries?”

“Gareth-,” Eddie’s voice fades over yours. 

“Oh yeah! You know I can tie the stems with my tongue?”

Eddie’s rings are going to be imprinted on your leg with how tightly he’s gripping onto you. You grab one of the cherries, getting your fingers covered in more whipped cream. You lean your head back a bit, your nose facing the old tile ceiling. You drop the cherry in your mouth, stem up. Tilting your head back, facing Gareth, you pull the cherry off the stem between your teeth. It’s unbelievably sensual the way you chew the red fruit. 

You show each of the boys the stem, even Eddie. When you glance over at him, you do not believe you have ever seen him so annoyed. He’s not hiding it well. You drop the stem on your tongue, returning your gaze over to Gareth. 

You roll the stem around, using your teeth slightly to do the stupid party trick you learned in 10th grade to impress a boy. It’s not impressive when every hot girl in school could do it, too. But nonetheless, it was something you could do to layer on the eroticism of the moment. 

When it’s tied, you contemplate taking it out of your mouth and showing it off. Maybe even drop it in Eddie’s hand. Instead, you decide to just extend your tongue out and show the stem on the very tip of your tongue. 

The color drains from Eddie’s face. It’s the end of the show for him. 

He grabs your forearm, ripping you out of the booth. You look back at Gareth, who’s still smiling, all the while Jeff and Grant look even more confused.  

When the fresh air hits you when he slams the glass door open, you flick your head to the side and spit out the stem in the gravel. His grip is so tight around your arm as he drags you to the van. It’s parked on the far side of the lot, occupying a spot that’s backed up to some woods. 

“What is wrong?”

Asking such a question only pisses him off further. Once you reach the van, his left hand flings the side door open. He practically tosses you onto the shag rug that lines the very back of the vehicle. 

“Are you fuckin’ with me right now?” His voice is intimidatingly deep.

Your legs hang out while Eddie stands over you, his hand resting on the top of the van. The back of your knees feel the sting of the frayed metal that hinges the door shut. You swallow, contemplating if you should continue messing with him. With the way he’s looking at you, you felt that this was not going to lead to the jealous sex you two had before. He’s actually angry. 

“You pushed my hand away when I wanted you earlier.”

Your voice is so small and unsure. His eyes narrow at you, his mouth slightly ajar in complete disbelief. The silence hanging in the air makes your heart rate increase. 

His mouth closes and you watch his jaw clench, “So you flirt with my friends right in front of me? Even when I explicitly said you better not.”

With his free hand, he swats your bare leg as you squeeze your thighs together. “Answer me.”

You watch the red mark appear on your flesh and decide to keep playing into the game. You had nothing to lose. If he’s actually angry, you could always have amazing make up sex instead. Eddie could not stay mad at you for too long. 

You shake your head, lifting your chin up in defiance. “All I did was tie a cherry stem.”

He does not accept that answer, slapping your thigh harder this time. 

You knew then that you had him where you wanted him. His eyes were giving him away. His pupils dilated as soon as he realized that you did not yelp at him slapping you around. 

Your eyes widen, watching him jump into the van beside you and dragging you back further. He slams the door, rattling the hunk of metal. The only light being let in is from the front windshield. A hazy warm lit streetlight only lights up Eddie’s face as he’s pining you to the ground. 

He positions himself between your legs, pushing the back of your thighs up with his knees. The skirt you chose for the occasion was pretty flowy, so it slid up your hips as soon as he props you up. “You want to act like a whore in front of my friends? All ‘cause I slapped your hand away earlier?”

His voice does not even sound like his. You hear the jiggling of his belt as he asks you the question. But the more twisted Eddie was, the more aroused you felt. You were drawn to him the first moment he teased you and bullied you a bit. You got off on him being callous. 

“Words. Now.”

You look down between your legs and see his cock springing free from his boxers as he shoves them down his thighs. You groan, the pulsating at your core coinciding with your heart rate. “Wanted to get your attention.”

He smacks your inner thigh, painfully close to your pantyline. You moan at the action, propping yourself up a bit more on your elbows. You watch as he carefully drags his pointer and middle finger under the hem of your lace. He smirks to himself, “That’s not what I fuckin’ asked.”

His fingers dip under your underwear, gathering the slick between your folds. You throw your head back, unable to hold back the sob as he spreads you open. You were putty in his hands, always bending to him. “Yes, Eddie.”

Your response leads to him sliding his fingers inside your cunt, a wet squelching noise filling both your ears. Your back thuds against the rug as your muscles give out under his touch. He fucks you with his fingers, the look on his face unreadable. He usually takes his time with foreplay, but this was different. He was testing how far he could take you in a limited amount of time. You were in a parking lot with his friends less than 500 feet inside, he could not take his time torturing you. 

His fingers retract from your pussy, gripping onto the lace of your panties and tearing them down your legs. When he sits back on his heels, you watch his long cock bounce with his movements. It sends a smile across your face. When he zeros in on you again, he tilts his head to the side. 

“I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t talk anymore.”

It makes you giggle at first, unsure if he’s really being serious. But when his face does not twist up into a smirk like it usually did, you realize you were in trouble. He takes ahold of his dick, leaning forward onto you. Your mouth falls open as you study Eddie dragging his tip between your slit, gathering as much of your wetness as he could. 

He sinks into you, raising your hips a bit to meet him straight on. The stretch is always overwhelming for you at first. You and Eddie fucked at least three times a week, but he always made you cum before shoving his cock deep inside you. Stretching you out for a couple minutes with two fingers is not enough for you. He hisses when he pulls back, his hands grasping onto you for dear life. 

He wastes no time setting a bruising pace. There’s no build up, he is simply taking his annoyance out on you. You are reaching out to anything around you, trying to find something to hold onto as he rams into you. You find a sweatshirt nearby, squeezing it as tight as you can as you breathe out to relax your pelvic muscles.

“Eddie, please-” You try to say, throwing your head forward. He shifts your hips a bit more, opening you up wider. As he does that, he rakes his hands upward, pushing your skirt up higher to your belly button. He shakes your head to your pleas. 

“Eddie, please.” He mocks, relocating his hand to squeeze your cheeks together. When your jaw unhinges, Eddie inspects your tongue as he drills into you. “Put my fingers in your mouth.”

“Ed-”

He sandwiches your face harder, cutting you off from being able to say anything. He fills your mouth with the two fingers that were plunging inside of you earlier. The taste of your own arousal is still present on his fingers as you swirl your tongue around the digits. You mewl as he grinds his pelvis into your clit. “Shut up,” he orders, his face centimeters from yours, “Now suck them while I fuck you.”

You have no way to talk back, so you do what he says. You hallow your cheeks out, lathering all your saliva around his fingers. The build up in the pit of your stomach only gets more intense when Eddie hoists your leg up over his shoulder. You clench around him, tears pricking your eyes as you vibrate his fingers with your moans. 

“Do not fuckin’ cum yet,” He warns, pulling his fingers in and out of your mouth. His hips are faltering as he chases his own climax. Your body feels like every nerve ending is about to implode under the pressure of you holding back your orgasm, and Eddie can sense that. He drags his fingers out from your lips, rubbing your own spit into your lips. He grabs your jaw with the same hand, pulling your face closer to his.

“Say you’re mine. You’re only gonna be mine.”

You nod, knocking his forehead slightly. “I’m only ever gonna be yours, Eddie.”

With your foreheads touching, you watch as he falls apart inside you. 

And with three vicious snaps of his hips, he spills his seed deep inside you. He does not let out a sound. His mouth is agape as deep heaves fan your face. 

When he finishes, he slides his cock out of you and sits back on his knees again. Him exiting your body is so frustrating, you want to scream.  

He uses one arm to hold your one leg back as spit covered fingers swipe up your cunt. His spend is leaking out of you and you know if he works his usual magic, you will cum in 30 seconds. 

“Please, Eddie. Please let me cum.”

He smirks villainously, “Why should I let you, hm?” He spreads your pussy lips, getting a good look as his cum dribbles down to your asshole.

You are getting desperate. You never had to beg Eddie to cum, ever. He was always so generous. 

“I promise I’ll be good. Please, please.” He chuckles dryly before sinking his fingers back into you. “Fine. Since you asked so pretty and promised to behave yourself.”

His fingers scissor into you, that familiar burn in the pit of your stomach returning. As his two fingers make work at your entrance, his thumb swipes your clit in meticulous circles. His bottom lip is tucked under his top teeth, watching you fall apart on his fingers. You are practically chanting his name as he brings you to your peak. 

When your chest heaves, finally relaxing from your orgasm, Eddie slides his digits out of you and brings them up to his plump pink lips. He licks them clean, just like you did with the whipped cream earlier. 

“Hm… Don’t see how Gareth thought you were a vanilla girl,” He states, smiling sinfully at you. “You, my dear, are a fuckin’ vixen.”

-

tags of friends who may like this idk (if you wanna be tagged in the future, just lemme know <3):

@hockeyhughes @pedgito @mediocredreams @the-unforgivenn

[annabelle--cane]

"the magnus protocol had a whole ARG beforehand? what?"

yes! it did!

"oh so I need to have participated in this whole big thing to actually understand the podcast?"

not at all! from the official post-mortem put out by RQ, "while the ARG was not something that was necessary to participate in to understand the magnus protocol, it was designed to contain a wealth of background story and context that would enrich any player's listening experience."

"a wealth of background context that would enrich my listening experience 👀👀👀 how can I learn about this?"

SO glad you asked. sadly, many of the materials made for the arg have been taken down since the game ended 😔 (ex., the official OIAR, magnus institute, and bonzoland websites. (edit ii: I found partial wayback machine captures! see below) though @strangehauntsuk is still up!), so we're a bit low on primary sources, but in terms of learning about what happened:

for a starting point, I would really recommend this video by @pinkelotjeart

it's super accessible, it was made in real time as the game progressed and follows the solving and revelation of clues as they happened, it hits all the major points of the mystery and moments of community insanity while eliding some of the nitty gritty puzzle grinding, 10/10 would recommend.

here's the official summary put out by RQ, and I'd recommend reading through this once you've already gotten a basic handle on the flow of the story and the basic connections between major clues and events. it's got some fun behind-the-scenes info and lays out the thought process behind the puzzles in simple terms

here's the full masterdoc of all puzzles and resolutions put together in the statement remains discord server. masterdoc my absolute BELOVED, masterdoc my bethrothed, masterdoc my soul mate. I'd recommend this as a second port of call after the above video as it either contains all details about the puzzles or links to other expanded docs that do.

here's the narrative summary doc that lays out all the plot and lore discovered in three pages of plain prose. if you just want to get to the good bits as fast as you can and get blasted directly in the face by contextless lore bombs, this is the doc for you. if you don't want to start with the video, I'd say this is another good entry point.

once you've got the lay of the land, some of the game materials that I found particularly interesting include:

the in-universe east germany expat usenet forum, with all content translated into english. most of it is irrelevant space filler with occasional extremely sus lore, but I still found it fun to read through. love to soak in some fictional forum drama.

chdb.xlsx, the spreadsheet of the names of all the children the protocol 'verse magnus institute was studying/experimenting on. EDIT: here is a version of the sheet without any annotations and with all of the names in their original order, kudos to @theboombutton for catching that the commonly shared copy had the order swapped around.

klaus.xls, a (very corrupted) spreadsheet with what looks like the classifications of a bunch of old OIAR cases.

EDIT: have a few more saved materials from the game that I forgot to include.

an in-universe audio ad to apply to the OIAR that ran before archives episodes and kicked off the whole game.

an in-universe video ad to apply to the OIAR, this one is an official upload that's still up from the game itself. you can subscribe to the OIAR's official youtube channel today, if you so chose.

the robo-voicemail greeting from the OIAR's phone line.

EDIT II:

here is a wayback machine capture of the OIAR's official website.

here is a wayback machine capture of the bonzoland website.

(pretty sure both of the above captures just archived the home pages, though I haven't tried clicking all of the links. I'd say they're still worth looking at, the home pages give a good window into the vibes.)

once you start poking around in these documents, you'll find a bunch of links to others with further information, the materials I've included here just contain what I feel to be the most relevant details to getting a broad feel for the whole game. once again, huge shout out to the statement remains server, I was barely in there as the ARG was in progress and only ducked my head in every so often to find links like these. true mvps of the fandom.

[sunflowerdigs]

Writers generally write plots in order to take a character from point a to point b. For instance, for Buck's bisexual discovery episode, rather than thinking "I'm going to have Buck meet this hot pilot and see what happens", Tim probably thought "I want Buck to come out as bisexual. How do I believably do that?"

People keep saying that if 911 is going to move forward, it needs to start bringing on new blood and integrating it into the cast. Well, this season, Ravi has been spotlighted multiple times. But in order to bring on someone new, someone else has to leave or fall back a bit. Technically, Tim could move one of the younger characters to another shift, but I doubt any of the younger actors want their screentime cut. However, Peter has stated that he's not into doing all the stunts anymore (and he looked super miserable shivering under a towel shooting the cruise line story) and that he might want to spend less time shooting generally. After all, he's getting a nice, fat producer cut now. He could probably shoot part-time and still make the kind of money he wants, and that would free up some budget for another character.

Additionally, unlike all of the other characters, Bobby has options that would keep him within the world of the firefam and would give 911 the opportunity to explore new parts of the first responder world. He is senior enough to run or be nominated for a senior position in LAFD, one that operates more behind the scenes, structuring budgets, communicating with news outlets, creating trainings, etc. That's a whole new world for the show. It keeps Bobby in the mix enough that we could occassionally see him show up at the firehouse for dinner, but creates a much less demanding shooting schedule for Peter.

But Bobby would never go for that. He would have to retire and then get bored. So, the question becomes "How do we take Bobby from gung-ho fire captain to someone who voluntarily gives up his post?" After all, s7 ended with him finding new energy for the job. A near-death experience like the one with the car pile-up wouldn't cut it. Because Bobby has faced those multiple times over the course of the series and hasn't considered giving up. It just wouldn't be believable to the audience and wouldn't be dramatic enough to cause the kind of shake-up that Tim wants to do. So, what would be?

Well. What if Bobby and everyone Bobby loves had to think he was dead for multiple days? What if the audience had to think that? What if viewers and the firefam had to watch Athena and her children (including Clifford) grieve him? If Bobby came back after something like that, absolutely, both the audience and the firefam would buy his wanting to finally retire. Especially if you throw a dream house into the mix? And Bobby suddenly desperately wanting to live as he's dying? Folks may end up messaging Tim on Facebook demanding that Bobby retire RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

So. That's just some food for thought as to why Tim might do a death and resurrection. Additionally, whenever any character has a drawn out near-death experience it gives the writers permission to make big character shifts very quickly as characters process their grief. Characters are allowed to look at their lives, realize tomorrow is not promised, and choose things they may not have before the death. Those changes are even more believable if the audience has to mourn the character who almost dies with the characters experiencing a shift. So. You know. If, say, the show was going to have a character, I don't know, recontextualize his relationship with his best male friend and realize that choosing him would be choosing joy? Or if another character who had never stood up for a leadership position before were to suddenly want to do that? A major death that the audience felt alongside those characters might ease those transitions.

Think about it.

[dduane]

Hi DD! I'm about mid-way through the most complex writing project I've ever done (several stories with some red thread storylines progressing in the background, so a sort of interwoven structure). I have an outline of the major plot beats, but the problem is, I've gotten about 2/3 of the way through, and this is where I've started to have trouble bringing my many threads together. The further I go, the the harder keeping it all clear and elegant becomes. Any advice for working at this stage?

It may seem counterintuitive, but once I'd found myself in a situation like this, I would immediately start working backwards.

It's difficult to describe what I mean here except semi-graphically—sort of in terms of one of those strings-pinned-to-the-wall diagrams so familiar to a lot of us from the various evidence-wall memes.

If we're imagining your present as-yet-unconnected threads as more or less progressing left to right, I would "stick pins in them" at their current furthest range and then move straight out to the far right side of the diagram.

For each thread I would then get busy establishing a detailed "end state" for the work: meaning a sense of what you want each of those through-line of plot to look like when you're done in terms of characters, situations, etc. I'd make very sure that all the major through-lines were covered, and (in passing) take a long look at how they'll stand in relationship to one another when all the action's finished.

Then I would start working back along each line toward the center of the matrix—looking to see what the next-to-last thing was that needed to happen to produce the final result on a given through-line. And then the third-to-last. ...And so forth.

I would try to work through the whole set of through-lines for each given step or stage before progressing any further backwards—unless, of course, some leap of logic occurs that makes an obvious connection between two different through-lines, or an earlier stage in the same TL that hadn't been obvious before.

(Is this making sense? God, I hope so.)

My experience with this kind of situation in the past is that it doesn't take too long before, on one or two of the lines you're constructing backwards, you'll hit something fairly major that somehow hadn't come up for consideration previously, or had simply slipped or fallen off the structural "radar" because so much other stuff had been going on around it. That event or piece of data, once perceived, will very often either immediately connect itself back to one or more of the "pinned" through-lines, or promote one of the other incomplete ones into growing connections to other adjacent lines of plot material. It's a little like watching neural tissue developing alternate pathways for itself after an injury.

...Anyway, give this approach a shot and see how it works for you. There are times when simply the act of reversing direction on the plot build will shake something loose in the business surrounding the building-it-forward part. It's worth a try to see what happens.

Hope this helps!

[nerdallwritey]

Just to Ruin Me

Summary: “You don’t have to tell me any of this right now,” you said. “A lot has changed in the past few hours and there’s no rush in sharing these things with me. I know how hard it was to talk about your past the first time.” “It was necessary, though,” Astarion looked over at you, his expression determined. “You needed to know what we might be up against. And you might need to know this too.” “If you want to tell me, then I’m happy to listen, but please don’t force yourself for my sake.” Astarion released a puff of air from his nose. “You keep doing that.” “Doing what?” “Asking me what I want. Letting me choose.” OR The morning after you spend the night with Astarion, you learn another thing or two.

Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ Word count: 12.5k CW: smut, reader is new to sex, piv sex, vaginal fingering, dry humping, mentions of Astarion's past trauma, blood drinking, mild angst, soft Astarion, porn with feelings, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), the other companions are also idiots, but don't piss of Shadowheart Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.), as well as Astarion's plotline Also posted to: AO3 FAIR WARNING: This is PART 2 in my series, "Beauty and the Bard." Find Part 1 here. Find the masterlist here.

a/n: Thanks to everyone who read Part 1!!! Your kind comments and encouragement spurred me to write Part 2 and I hope it's a sequel that lives up to expectations!! I know the summary is a little angsty, but I promise there's more banter to be had. Everyone is still a goof, after all. Please enjoy :) (Thank you to @kermitwazowski for beta reading!) As a reminder, the last part ended with the following few lines: “For now, you were content to sleep under the stars in Astarion’s arms. It was the best sleep you’d ever had.”

Taglist: @a66-1 @khaleesiofthewolves @khywren @lollipopsandlandmines @minestrones

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the best sleep you’d ever had.

Though you’d grown accustomed to roughing it in the last few weeks since the nautiloid crash, waking up in the forest was still a shock. It had its charms, sure, like the fresh air and the breeze blowing in off the mountains, but the appeal was starting to wane. Especially after one too many nights of having to take a dip in the frigid lake next to camp to rid yourself of gnoll blood. 

This morning however, you found yourself surrounded by blankets and pillows from your camp in the middle of a clearing surrounded by large pine trees, all of which had been thoughtfully arranged by the figure trancing beside you. Your own sleeping figure sighed comfortably, unbothered by the lack of a mattress or a hot bath, just a nice deep sleep-

Astarion whacked you in the face.

Your eyes shot open.

“OW?” You scrunched your nose and blinked a few times to get your bearings. 

It was still dark. The forest around you was painted a delicate shade of periwinkle. You’d hazard a guess that it was just a little before dawn. 

At some point in the night, you’d rolled onto your back, away from Astarion, who was now curled to your right, his back facing you. He must have just rolled over, explaining the harsh wake up from his forearm. You smiled softly and instinctively brought your hand to rub your forehead where he’d made the unfortunate contact. 

Blinking a little more, your eyes were beginning to adjust. From this angle, you had a clear line of sight to the large scar that overran a majority of his back. You squinted in the dark to try and get a clearer view of the terrible thing, but came up short due to the shadows of tree branches being cast from above. Still just a mandala of jagged lines and brutal curves. When you got your hands on Cazador, you’d…

No.

No, that wasn’t your fight. 

But you’d be gods damned if you wouldn’t be there for every bloody moment Astarion faced him, giving support however you could. Though you had to admit that it would be so gratifying to corner the bastard and cast a quick little Otto’s Irresistible Dance… Assuming you’d be strong enough to cast it by then… Gods, he’d look so fucking stupid just before Astarion plunged a knife through his heart-

Enough. Battle strategies and sick, twisted (but satisfying) revenge fantasies later. Right now you noticed that the shifting of the shadows on his back wasn’t from a breeze shaking the branches above you, but because Astarion himself was trembling. 

Your first instinct was to reach out and touch him, but you quickly retracted your hand. Based on the short whimpers he was letting out, it seemed like he was having a nightmare.

How was one supposed to wake someone from a nightmare again? With Astarion you’d have to be extra careful; you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d stowed a knife somewhere within these blankets that he might reach for in a surge of waking fear. 

That… would not be pleasant. 

You shifted to sit up and look around.

Ow.

A dull throbbing made itself known between your legs.

No, that was great. Spectacular, in fact. You’d have to stop and assess later.

Gingerly, you got onto your knees and peered around at your surroundings. Astarion had done a decent job of cleaning up the clearing to make room for this blanket nest, so there wasn’t a poking stick to be seen within reaching distance.

Not that you were going to poke him with a stick… but the thought had crossed your mind. You were still tired! You’d been fucked for the first time last night! There was a lot going on! 

You shook your head to clear the stupid overlapping thoughts and set to looking around for a wayward pillow. You spotted one in the far corner and made your way over to it carefully but with some haste to end Astarion’s unconscious suffering. 

You crawled back over to him. And then backed up a little. Just in case.

“Astarion,” you sang quietly. 

Astarion continued trembling, but you heard him inhale sharply. A good sign?

You raised your voice a little, but kept the same musical cadence. “Astaaaarioooon.”

Nothing.

Okay fine. 

“Sorry,” you said quietly, then threw the pillow at Astarion, hitting him squarely on the back of the head. You leaned forward to grab your own pillow as a protective shield as he gasped and shot up.

“What the hells? What’s happening?” Astarion rolled onto his back and frantically looked around until his eyes landed on you. 

You smiled sheepishly and waved at him lamely from behind your pillow. “Hi.”

Astarion narrowed his eyes, confused. He shook his head, then lifted a hand to the back of his head where the pillow had hit him. “What did you do?”

“You were having a nightmare.”

“Oh, I know what I was doing,” his tone was sarcastic. “What were you doing?”

You looked down at your lap, guilty. “I couldn’t remember how to wake someone up from a nightmare.”

“So you assaulted me?”

“I didn’t know if you had a knife!”

“Why would I have a knife? What is happening?!” He sat up fully and brought a hand to his forehead as if he were in pain. 

“Are you okay?”

“Thankfully, I’ll live,” he opened his eyes and looked at you, his hand still on his forehead. 

You huffed. “I meant with the nightmare.”

Astarion sighed and closed his eyes again. “It’s far too early to discuss this.” He tilted his head up towards the sky, which was getting brighter with every passing moment. A practiced smirk appeared on his face and he looked at you once more. “I’d much rather know if you’re okay, darling.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. 

“We had a lot of fun last night, didn’t we?”

“Seeing as how I’m always a lot of fun, I don’t understand why you’re posing this question.” You looked down your nose at him. 

He hung his head and sighed exasperatedly. “Will you simply allow me to work my charms on you?”

You tutted. “Is that what you were trying to do just now?”

“Attempting to, yes.” Astarion crossed his arms. “I’m usually irresistible.”

You snorted. “Okay,” you said, a small smile appearing on your face. “I’m going to ignore your lack of an answer about your nightmare and will elect to wait until you’re ready to tell me about it yourself.”

Astarion pursed his lips.

“But go ahead,” you rearranged your legs, wincing mildly as you moved to sit cross legged, “charm me.”

A look of worry flashed over Astarion’s face when he saw you wince, but the concern was quickly overtaken by an all too self-satisfied grin. “Feeling it this morning, are we?”

You rolled your eyes. “I knew you’d be happy about this.”

“Positively delighted, my sweet.” He leaned forward and kissed you gently, bringing a hand up to your cheek. You brought your own hand up to lay against his. He pulled away and appraised your face smugly. “I was completely enamored by your performance last night.” You were about to open your mouth to say something, but Astarion interrupted. “Don’t even think about mentioning that you’re a bard and that of course you’re good at performing, or something like that.”

You closed your mouth. You were going to say something like that. Instead you said, “You were pretty good yourself.”

He brought his hands up to make air quotes. “I’ve ‘ruined you,’ from what I recall.”

You groaned. “I just said that to make you cum.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself, my dear.” His face was still smug, but he motioned for you to come closer. You scooted forward and he lifted you slightly to sit on his lap. 

He leaned up and kissed you deeply, his tongue swiping your bottom lip for entrance. You moaned in response and opened your mouth for him. Though the rest of his body was cold, his mouth was warm and inviting, and you leaned in further to try and get closer. You wrapped your arms around his neck and tilted your head slightly to get a better angle. You’d been mildly distracted last night; had he always smelled this good?

When Astarion pulled back suddenly, you couldn’t help the whine that escaped at the loss. He hummed in satisfaction, and his voice was low and seductive when he spoke.

“Every part of your perfect body whispers temptations-”

You giggled. “What?”

“Shush dear, I’m charming you.” He cleared his throat, “-it’s as if the gods made you just to ruin me.”

“So now I’ve ruined you?” You raised your eyebrows teasingly.

“Wait, no-”

You leaned your forehead onto his and laughed. “And that one usually works?”

He blew out a puff of air. “You’re an unusual one, I’ll give you that.” 

You shrugged, pleased with yourself.

“But yes,” Astarion continued, “I’ve made plenty of previous lovers swoon with that particular line.”

“Show me what else you’ve got, then,” you challenged.

Astarion tilted his head in thought. “Let’s see… I can’t use the ‘cried from your lips’ line because I used that one last night…” You scoffed joyfully, mockingly scandalized that he’d already used a line on you. He met your eye and smirked. “How about this one: When I’m with you, I feel practically alive, yet I crave only to die again, with you.”

The sultry tone of his voice did send a pang of want through your body, reminding you that you were only wearing Astarion’s shirt and nothing else. You shifted uncomfortably. 

“How romantic,” you said, trying to keep your voice nonchalant. “I didn’t think you liked dying the first time.”

Astarion narrowed his eyes, sensing your deflection and smirked, looking down at where you sat on his lap. He rolled his hips, which made you inhale sharply. “I see that one did do something for you,” he leaned forward and kissed your neck. 

You exhaled slowly, “I blame that stupid sexy voice of yours.”

Astarion growled against your throat and you shivered, bringing your hands up to his back. 

“Astarion,” you sighed and he hummed in response, licking over the twin wounds he’d left the night before. You sat up a little straighter. “Wait.”

He immediately pulled back and looked at you with concern. “What is it?”

“I just thought of something,” you said.

Astarion raised his eyebrows and nodded, wanting you to continue.

“Can I borrow your fangs?”

“My-?” His tongue instinctively flicked over his teeth.

“Because I want to leave a lasting impression on you,” you tilted your head at him to show off the marks he’d left on your throat. You shimmied your shoulders a little for good measure. 

“I’m leaving,” Astarion made to get up with you still on his lap and you laughed loudly.

“No! No! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I wanted to try a dumb line on you, too!” You threw your arms around his neck and hid your face in his shoulder. You felt him kiss your hair.

“You’re lucky I don’t travel with you for your personality,” he joked. 

“I’d say ‘I’m a lot of fun’ again but I think you’d actually stop talking to me.” You pulled back to look at him.

“And you’d be right.” He kissed you chastely and then adjusted you on his lap. You winced a little again and he looked genuinely sympathetic. “I might have a way to ease the pain from last night,” he said. “Do you trust me?”

You smiled at him. “Yes.”

He smiled back. “Good.” He positioned your arms over his shoulders. “Hang on, my love.” You crossed your arms where they hung behind him and waited to see what he would do. 

Without warning, you felt one of his cold fingers slide through your folds. You hissed at the sensation and looked at Astarion. 

“Supposedly, massaging the area can help,” he was trying to sound knowledgeable, but the look in his eyes was one full of lust. Then he tutted, looking down. “You could be wetter, darling.” His thumb began to circle your clit.

Your eyes rolled back at the sensation, and you leaned forward again to rest your forehead on his shoulder. 

“Do you want my cock again, love? You took me so well last night, I was so proud of you,” he’d moved his mouth next to your ear and was speaking with the same sultry tone that he had a minute ago. You whimpered at his praise and rolled your hips to get his thumb to press you harder. Astarion let out a low groan. “That’s it, you’re getting so wet for me, you’re so good.”

After a few more tight circles, you practically sobbed when you felt him take his thumb away from your clit.

“Shh, shh, I know,” he cooed, “but we want you to feel better, remember?”

You let out a frustrated sound. “I already was feeling better.”

Astarion chuckled. “Trust me, would you? Impatient.” His tone was nothing but fond.

His other fingers began massaging the area around your entrance. You winced and bit your lip. 

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Fine,” you confirmed. “I assume this will get better?”

“That’s the idea,” he kissed your ear and you nodded against his shoulder. 

You rolled your hips, attempting to get friction where you needed it. 

“Just a little longer,” Astarion said, moving his fingers gently around your cunt.

You hummed an acknowledgement and kept rolling your hips, trying to combat this weird form of edging that was happening. 

Finally, Astarion ceased his massaging and brought his thumb back to your clit. You let out a long shuddering breath and squeezed your eyes tight, adjusting your hips to roll against his thigh. 

“There you go, my love,” Astarion said, voice still in your ear. “I’ll make you cum for behaving so well.”

You whined loudly as his thumb picked up the pace. You began rolling your hips at an equally fast pace. “More,” you whined, willing your climax to approach faster.

“Not right now, darling. Let’s give you a break there, shall we?” Astarion used his free hand to pet your hair. 

“But you asked if I wanted your cock again,” you whined.

“And while I’m pleased to hear that you’d like it again, let’s relax and get you off like this for now, okay?” 

You groaned but nodded, squeezing your eyes shut again and focusing on the pleasure Astarion was currently providing. “Harder,” you instructed.

Astarion pressed down harder on your clit with his thumb. He swept his index and middle finger through your folds, coating them in your slick. He quickly swapped those fingers with his thumb, changing the sensation by swapping one finger for two and adding more of your arousal to the mix. 

You keened and gripped his bicep. “Harder!” You instructed again, desperate and approaching the edge. You could feel the coil in your stomach preparing to let go.

Astarion pushed again and brought his lips to your ear once more. 

“I just thought of something, precious thing,” he murmured.

You blinked at him, your eyes unfocused and half lidded.

“More of a question, really,” he clarified.

You squeezed your eyes tight, nodding. You were on the precipice of your orgasm and could feel it fastly approaching. You slammed your hips against Astarion’s thigh as he continued to rub your clit brutally. 

“Do you believe in love at first bite?” He leaned forward and kissed your throat, then began to suck a new mark into the flesh there. Contrary to his pun, he wouldn’t drink from you without your expressed permission first.

It did, however, send you crashing over the edge. You moaned loudly, Astarion’s name tumbling repeatedly out of your mouth. The vision behind your eyelids was white and you reached out blindly to grip Astarion’s shoulders. His lips detached themselves from your throat and found your own. His tongue was immediately in your mouth, swallowing your moans and shouts of his name.

When you came down, you disconnected from the kiss and opened your eyes, a lopsided grin on your face. 

“Thank you,” you said. “I do feel better.”

Astarion smirked. “I knew you would.” He brought his fingers, still coated in your essence, up to his mouth and sucked them clean. You watched, mesmerized by the way his cheeks hollowed and his eyes fluttered shut. He pulled them out with a lewd pop. “Delicious.”

You felt your face flush, embarrassed by his display, despite just cumming in his lap. 

“You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about this,” Astarion said, reading your expression immediately. “What you should feel embarrassed about is the fact that you came because I told a joke.”

“I did not!” You protested.

“You absolutely did,” Astarion said. “And it was a particularly bad one, too.” He clicked his tongue. “You must feel so ashamed.”

You groaned. “I came because you started kissing my neck!”

Astarion raised his eyebrows, clearly not believing you. “It’s okay, darling, no one here was under the impression that you aren’t incredibly lame.” He gave you a pitying look, then kissed your nose and you laughed. He pulled back and looked at you fondly, a dopey half smile on his face. Then he looked up at the sky.

The periwinkle you’d awoken to was now vibrant shades of orange and pink. 

“Are you okay if I move you?” Astarion asked.

“Um… sure?” You weren’t sure why he was asking, and helped to move yourself off of him. You did feel a bit less sore thanks to his help. 

He stood up and stretched his arms over his head, then bent to pick up a rag to wipe off his pants. 

“Sorry,” you said.

Astarion shook his head. “Comes with the territory.” You were about to make a joke but he held up a finger and gave you a warning look. “Don’t.”

You held up your hands innocently. 

He tossed you the rag after and then your pants and underthings.

“Clean up,” he instructed, “then get dressed.”

You furrowed your brows, your stomach dropping suddenly. He didn’t expect you to leave right now, did he? He hadn’t fucked you last night, then brought you more pleasure this morning, only for him to send you back to camp like it hadn’t happened, right?

Astarion snorted. He was watching you as he slipped on his shoes. “Relax, darling, I see that face. I just want to show you something.” He held out a hand to help you up.

“Okay,” you smiled, soothed by the pleasant look on his face. “Do you want your shirt back?” You made to lift it over your head.

“Keep it for now, dear,” Astarion said. “I rather like that on you, truthfully.” The collar was slipping off your shoulder as you pulled on your pants, and you made no move to adjust it, opting not to put your bra back on yet.

“Do you want to wear my shirt?” you teased.

“Tempting, but I fear I’d look better in it than you do.”

“Excellent point, don’t do that.” You adjusted the ruffles on Astarion’s shirt and felt a light breeze on your cleavage through the lacey opening at the collar. 

“Gods, you’re beautiful,” he said. You looked up and caught Astarion staring at your chest.

You laughed as he cleared his throat, then gestured deeper into the woods with his head. “This way.” He held out a tentative hand and you took it eagerly, bringing the back of his palm up to your face to leave a gentle kiss. Astarion squeezed your hand slightly at the contact, and began heading further into the forest, away from camp. A pleasant silence hung between the two of you and you rubbed your thumb absently along the back of his hand.

It wasn’t long before the trees started to thin and you heard the sound of rushing water somewhere close by. You emerged from the trees to find a cliff overlooking a ravine below. On the other side of the ravine was more forest, and beyond that, you could faintly see the Sea of Swords. The sun peeked out over the horizon, bright reddish orange in the distance. Its glow was a welcome sight and you found yourself in awe of the view.

Astarion let go of your hand and sat, dangling his feet over the edge of the cliff. You hesitantly stepped forward and sat beside him, opting instead to sit with one knee up, the other leg crossed beneath it. Astarion sat back on his arms. The sun reflected off his skin in the most beautiful golden and magenta hues. His hair, somehow still perfect despite your night together, was being jostled lightly by the breeze. He’d closed his eyes and tipped his head up, basking. You couldn’t help watching him as you rested your cheek on your bent knee. 

He didn’t open his eyes when he said, “I try to come out here every morning.” 

You sat in silence, continuing to watch him as you prepared to listen to whatever he’d say next. 

“After two hundred years in darkness, you forget how lovely the sunrise is,” he said. “I don’t ever want to miss another.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have been like,” you said softly. 

Astarion hummed in acknowledgment and opened his eyes. “I’d catch glimpses while lurking around the city for too long before dawn, hopping from shadow to shadow until I made it back to Cazador’s manor.” His eyes didn’t waver from the sun in the distance. “But there were moments where I’d catch a glimpse of it over the Chionthar.” His tone became sardonic. “The promise of a new day emerging! Something that I would never get to participate in.” He sighed. “I’d linger as long as I could in those moments.” 

You nodded, picturing a hopeful Astarion hiding behind buildings and in alleys, trying to get a fleeting look at a phenomenon that occurred every day, one that you took for granted. Your heart ached for him. 

He continued. “I never quite told you what Cazador made his spawn do for him.”

You tried to recall what Astarion had said to you before. Only that he’d been made to go out into the city and bring back “the most beautiful souls” he could find. Then Cazador would make him either drink from a disgusting dead rat, or abuse him for refusing. The thought made you visibly shudder. 

“I know that you had to bring people back to-” you lowered your voice, as if saying his name might summon him, “-Cazador, against your will. And that he’d kill them.” 

Astarion nodded his head once, remorsefully. “I never told you how we lured them.”

You could see pain etched into his features. You reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulder. He flinched a bit at the contact, but settled when he looked over at you.

“You don’t have to tell me any of this right now,” you said. “A lot has changed in the past few hours and there’s no rush in sharing these things with me. I know how hard it was to talk about your past the first time.”

“It was necessary, though,” Astarion looked over at you, his expression determined. “You needed to know what we might be up against. And you might need to know this too.”

“If you want to tell me, then I’m happy to listen, but please don’t force yourself for my sake.”

Astarion released a puff of air from his nose. “You keep doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Asking me what I want. Letting me choose.” 

You cocked your head sympathetically. “And I take it two hundred years as a slave hasn’t really afforded you any choice.”

“Correct,” he sighed. “As a spawn, your vampiric master has complete control over your body and your actions. Even in moments where I wanted to defy or fight back, I was powerless to do anything.” 

Your heart jumped into your throat. You hadn’t realized that was how it worked. Having no control over yourself or your actions sounded like a complete nightmare and you were glad that you’d hopefully never have to experience it. Knowing that that had been Astarion’s entire existence for the past two centuries made you sick to your stomach. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, just as you’d said the last few times he’d shared glimpses of his past.

Astarion’s eyes were closed once again as he inhaled deeply, then exhaled. He continued to bask in the rising sun for a few silent moments and you watched as it slowly rose higher into the sky. 

“That nightmare I had,” he said, his voice coming out quiet, “I’ve had it before.”

Again, you said nothing and waited for him to continue.

“I actually had the same one the night you let me drink your blood for the first time.”

“Oh, please don’t tell me that drinking my blood was some sort of revenge plot against me for haunting your nightmares.”

Astarion smiled a little. “No, it wasn’t about you. It was about Cazador.”

“You know, I’m really starting to dislike this guy,” you said, knowing how difficult this was for him and trying to keep his mood up with another little joke. 

“You and me both,” he sounded tired. “In the dream, I’m in the forest. Cazador appears and recites the rules of being his vampire spawn.” He held up his hand and recounted them on his fingers: “‘First, thou shalt not drink the blood of thinking creatures. Second, thou shall obey me in all things. Third, thou shalt not leave my side, unless directed. Fourth, thou shalt know that thou art mine.’” 

You listened patiently as Astarion recited each rule almost mechanically. You scrunched your nose with each passing instruction and rolled your eyes dramatically when Astarion finished.

“What a prick.”

He smiled again. “With an archaic speech pattern.”

“I was going to mention his archaic speech pattern.”

The smile faded slowly as Astarion returned to his thoughts. “The dream ends with Cazador telling me I’m his forever. That I can never escape.” 

You let the words hang in the air for a moment. “And yet, here you are.”

“Here I am,” he said humorlessly. He laid down fully on his back, the sun high enough to bathe him completely in its glow. He rested his arms behind his head and angled himself to look at you. “I realized, if I could walk in the sun, what other vampiric laws could I break?”

You looked down at him, admiring the light glinting off his bare chest. “So you decided to test your theory on me? I’m touched.” You held a hand to your chest, pretending to be deeply moved.

“In all honesty, I thought you were the least likely to kill me if I got caught.” He smirked at you. “And it would seem I was right.”

“I wouldn’t have let any of the others kill you,” you said firmly.

Astarion chuckled. “How sweet. My brave little protector.” He reached over to pinch your cheek.

You swatted him away. “Hey, who saved your ass from a bugbear yesterday?”

He shrugged. “I would have been fine.”

You leaned forward and shoved him lightly, making him laugh and throw his arm forward as a shield. 

When his laughter died down, his face grew a touch more serious again. “When you so graciously assaulted me this morning, he’d just finished telling me rule number three; that I can’t leave him unless he tells me to.”

You thought for a moment. “Which begs the question,” Astarion looked over at you expectantly, “how did you end up out here? From what I recall, the sun was still out when the nautiloid reached the Gate. You didn’t have the tadpole yet, so how’d you escape?”

“I wouldn’t say it was much of an escape.” His eyes shifted up to the sky, his expression thoughtful. “I was looking for new victims for Cazador. It was dusk and I had just been given the order to go out and hunt. I was weaving through shadows, avoiding the setting sun, but there’s only so many places one can hide from a giant tentacle that won’t burn you to a crisp. One of the tentacles caught me when I attempted to flee down an alleyway. A complete accident.”

“If it helps, I tripped while running away.”

“Of course you did.” He sighed. “Figures it would take an alien invasion to finally free me from his clutches. Not some,” he waved his hands in the air, gesturing to nothing in particular, “heroic figure sent by the gods to save me and smite that horrible man down to somewhere further and more vile than the Nine Hells.” His hands fell ungracefully to his sides.

He wasn’t wrong. How could any god worth their salt claim to be holier than thou when such suffering was occuring right under their noses? And you were pretty sure, based on tales you’d heard of Mystra and Shar from Gale and Shadowheart, that the gods hadn’t planned for the nautiloids or the rise of the Absolute. Yet if it weren’t for any of that, Astarion would still be trapped in Baldur’s Gate and your adventure thus far would have looked very different.

“If I’d known, I would have done something,” you said, knowing it was more complicated than that, but still wanting to help somehow. 

“Darling, if I’d met you in Baldur’s Gate, I would not have hesitated to take you to Cazador.”

That hurt. 

You said as much. “Ouch.”

“Well,” he sounded angry, though he directed it up towards the sky and not at you, “I wouldn’t have had a choice! Sure, it would have been a little novel, given how inexperienced you are, but regardless, I would have handed you off to him as soon as I’d made you finish.”

Ah. So that was how he lured people. It made sense, now that you put the pieces together; Astarion was so experienced because he had to be. Of course unsuspecting victims would fall prey to the allure of an eternally beautiful vampire, especially the one laying next to you. Of course the promise of pleasure from someone that sexy would be the obvious thing to agree to. It was a wonder your paths had never crossed before the nautiloid. 

“Once,” Astarion broke the silence that had fallen between you, his tone distant, “in the first decade of my slavery, I found a darling boy who I couldn’t bear to bring back to him.” He finally looked over at you, his eyes full of sadness. “So I ran, instead of hurting that sweet man.”

You reached for his hand, then thought better of it. All his snide “don’t touch me’s” on the road now held a new, terrible weight.

“After Cazador caught me, the bastard sealed me, starving, inside a dusty tomb, all on my own, for an entire year. A year of silence”

A hand flew to your mouth. “Astarion…” you felt your eyes begin to prick with tears and did your best to will them away, fearing that they might make Astarion stop sharing.

He went on. “Months of scratching my hands raw, trying to carve my way out, more months of not moving at all. Months wishing only for death.” He took a deep breath, then blew it out shakily. “So no, I wouldn’t have hesitated, had we crossed paths.”

You opened and closed your mouth several times, attempting to find words that could possibly compose an appropriate response to the horrors you currently refused to picture. “I have no words,” is what you finally settled on, followed by an, “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing can make up for that,” he said quietly. “Not even Cazador’s death.” He paused. “Well, it would help a little, but the coward deserves a fate worse than death.”

“Can I hug you?” you blurted, unable to stop yourself.

Astarion blinked a few times, then sat up. “What?”

“I just… you’ve been through such hell and I want to hug you, but I don’t want to touch you without your permission.”

He looked you up and down and saw the sincerity evident on your face. “I… suppose.” He pulled his legs up from where they were still dangling above the ravine and turned to face you head on. 

“Thank you,” you said, still attempting to keep your tears at bay.

You leaned forward and weaved your arms beneath Astarion’s, hooking your arms up and placing your hands on his shoulder blades. You settled your face between his neck and shoulder and could feel that his arms were frozen rigidly in place in front of him. You took a shaky breath and stayed still, allowing Astarion to move at his own pace. 

His arms finally settled around you and he bent his head so his cheek rested against your hair. 

The two of you stayed like that for a while, relishing in the other’s closeness. You moved your hands back and forth across his back absently. When you caught yourself, you pulled back to look at him and asked, “Is it okay that I’m touching your back?”

Astarion chuckled softly. “Yes, my dear. It’s rather nice, actually.”

You smiled and nuzzled your nose into the crook of his neck. Seriously, did he always smell this good?

Despite the pleasant distraction, something was nagging at your thoughts.

“Can I ask you something?” you murmured into his skin.

Astarion sighed dramatically. “If it has anything to do with my fangs, I’ll rip your throat out.”

You snickered to yourself. “No, not another dumb joke, I promise.”

“Then by all means.”

You pulled back once more to look at him in the face. His eyes widened when he saw your nervous expression. You avoided holding his gaze, feeling a little small. 

“Do you… want to be with me?”

Astarion looked taken aback. “What?”

“I mean… well…” You were having trouble sorting through your thoughts. Who were you to make this moment about yourself when Astarion had just been so open with you? And why couldn’t you trust him in what he had told you last night? Still, you had to know. You’d made it clear how much you cared for him and how much sleeping with him had meant to you. 

Given his past experiences, it made sense why he’d sleep with you, but you wanted to hear him say it. If this was all some ploy to manipulate you into doing what he wanted, even without Cazador’s instruction, you needed to know now. 

“Was I… just another conquest?” you asked, your tears reemerging. “Because if that’s the case, then I think we should end whatever this is.”

Astarion’s face was now inches away from yours. He moved a hand from your back and shifted it up to wipe a wayward tear that had escaped. He said your name softly.

“No, my sweet,” his other hand started rubbing soothing circles into your back. He pulled back a little. “Well, yes.”

You scoffed, another tear rolling down your cheek. 

Astarion was quick to correct. “No, no! I mean, at first, yes, it was my plan to seduce you and sleep with you.”

You let out a small whimpering noise and he tried to catch your eye. You kept your gaze glued on something in the distance, unseeing.

Astarion cleared his throat. “You- You’re valuable; someone willing to feed me, someone who advocated for me to stay with you all, even though you knew vampires were dangerous, someone who would protect me in battle, even if it meant sacrificing something important to you.”

Try as he might to get your attention back on him, your face remained blank as you stared into the distance.

“I wanted your continued protection.” He shrugged. “Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in and I thought I could secure that with sex.”

That got you to look at him, a sour expression on your face. “Have you met me?”

Astarion chuckled. “Yes, I have. And that’s what threw me for such a loop.”

You humphed.

“When I realized you’d be more of a challenge, I modified my plan.”

“I don’t love the direction this is headed.”

“Stay with me, darling” he said, “I promise I’m going somewhere with this.”

You exhaled and nodded for him to continue. 

“I did want to give you a good first experience, that much was true, but I will admit that I was still planning on using you.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You realize how bad this sounds, right?”

“Will you-” he sighed. “Let me finish, damn you,” he brought his forehead to yours briefly, then pulled back. “So imagine how stupid I felt when I realized I genuinely felt something for you.”

That made you smile softly. 

He groaned. “And yes, it is because I find you to be… a lot of fun.” The last phrase sounded like it hurt coming out. 

Your soft smile transformed into one of smug satisfaction. “And when did you come to this conclusion?”

“Well first of all, look at you.” He smiled slyly and you playfully pushed his face away from yours, just as you had last night. After a moment, Astarion looked up, as if searching through his thoughts. “I suppose I’ve always found you to be amusing. You were so easy to fool in the beginning. I mean, the very first day we met, you thought I had one of those brain things cornered.”

“I had no reason not to believe you! And then you held a knife to my throat!” “Ah, memories,” he sighed wistfully. “But then we started traveling together, and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed more. Killing those goblins outside the Grove, fooling those trolls into working for us, taking out those Paladins of Tyr… you always had a sarcastic comment to contend with my sarcastic comments. Which is saying something.”

You snorted. “As if I wouldn’t have something to say.”

Astarion nodded. “You do talk a lot.” 

You chuckled softly, feeling better. Your arms were still wrapped around Astarion.

“It was when I kissed you.” His tone was thoughtful.

“Hmm?”

“When I really kissed you for the first time, there was something different about it.” His eyes flicked down to your lips momentarily. “Suddenly everything we’d been through came rushing back to my mind and there was this… pleasure I hadn’t felt. In an awfully long time.”

You smiled like a dope, bringing your forehead to his.

“I realized you weren’t going anywhere. And that you genuinely cared about what I thought and what I wanted.” He looked at you almost shyly. “No one in the past two hundred years has stayed.” Astarion pulled back and his inflection became flamboyant and playful: “Not that they had much of a choice, but it was a somewhat shocking revelation.” His tone then returned to one of sincerity: “And no one has cared for me as you have.”

You looked away, embarrassed by the kind words.“What can I say, I’m incredible.”

Astarion blew out a cool puff of air that tickled your face. “Annoyingly, you are.”

You looked back at him and smirked. “For me, it was when you asked me how I’d want to die.”

Astarion snorted. “Pardon?”

“When you asked me how I wanted to die on one of our first nights at camp. I genuinely had the thought, ‘Now here’s a guy who knows how to have a good time.’”

Astarion laughed brightly. You mirrored his grin.

“You said you wanted to be decapitated.” 

“How romantic of me,” he said, raising a seductive eyebrow. 

“Well it did spark the crush I’ve been harboring this whole time,” you felt your face heat up at the admission. “That, and your stupid beautiful face.”

Astarion sniffed mockingly. “Thank you, not enough people mention that.” Then he looked at you fondly. “But that long, eh? How adorable.” He rubbed his nose against yours teasingly. “And here you thought nothing would come of it.”

“Nothing usually does!” you exclaimed.

He laughed and leaned forward to kiss you once. “Not so loud.”

You lifted an eyebrow and gestured to the empty landscape around you. Astarion shrugged. You lowered your voice despite the lack of other people to bother.

“I am glad something came of it this time.” You settled your forehead onto his shoulder.

“As am I, my love,” he kissed your hair. “Though I have something else to admit.”

You pulled back and looked at him curiously.

Out of nowhere, he presented you with a knife.

“I did have a knife.”

You scoffed incredulously and whacked his arm. “I KNEW YOU HAD A KNIFE, YOU BASTARD!” You laughed loudly and pushed him backwards. 

He fell back onto his arms, laughing with you as you crawled on top and kissed him deeply. 

“Careful darling,” he murmured against your lips, “don’t move.”

You paused your movements, your lips still pressed firmly against his own. Astarion turned his head slightly to look over to his left at the treeline you’d emerged from not too long ago. You pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth and felt him grin. Then you felt his right arm come up and jerk slightly, followed by a “THUNK” sound off to your right. 

You waited a moment before you asked, “Can I move?” Your mouth was smushed against his face and your voice came out muffled.

He chuckled. “Yes, you can move now.” 

You sat up and looked to your right, the knife Astarion had pulled was now wedged deeply into the trunk of a nearby tree. You raised your eyebrows at him.

He stretched out like a cat in a sunbeam, his voice straining as he went. “Impressed?”

“Honestly? Yes.” You leaned back down and kissed him again. 

He hummed and his mouth moved against yours at a leisurely pace, his hands coming up to tangle in your hair. You kissed down his jaw and throat before coming to his collarbone and stopping.

“You’re sure you don’t want to fuck me again?” Your words came out a little shy and Astarion laughed. 

He twirled the ends of your hair around his finger. “Delicious as you were, my sweet, I think I’d prefer to take my time with you.” 

You pursed your lips, disappointed. 

“That’s not to say I don’t want to, darling, but…” His fingers stopped twirling your hair as he thought. “Like you said earlier, so much has changed in the last few hours. I’ve only just discovered that I can sleep with somebody because I actually want to.” His hand moved from your hair to your cheek. “I think I need some time to adjust to that.”

You nodded and bent to kiss him. “I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

He smiled up at you. “Thank you.”

You spent a few moments just looking at him, admiring how his eyes sparkled in the sun like rubies. You sighed noticeably. 

“What is it, love?”

You shook your head. “It’s nothing.”

“Darling…” He raised his eyebrows at you. 

“No, it’s inappropriate right now.” You looked away.

You felt his hand in your hair, and his voice was conspiratory, “I love when you talk dirty.”

You sighed again and looked him in the eye. “One of these days, when you’re ready, I’m going to look into your gorgeous eyes as I make you come.”

Astarion sputtered out a surprised laugh. “Easy there, lover,” he gave you a sultry look, “I may just take you up on that.”

You sat up and spread your hands over his chest. “I want to make you feel good, too.”

He brought both hands up to his face and groaned loudly before dragging them back down his face and looking at you. “Come lay in the sun with me, will you?”

You pouted but rolled off of him and curled into his side. 

“There now,” he said, arching his chest upwards towards the sky where the sun had now risen for the day, “isn’t this nice?”

You inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of the trees and the sounds of the ravine below. You exhaled and closed your eyes, warmed by the sun and comforted by the presence of Astarion beside you. He himself had his eyes closed and looked peacefully content. You nuzzled further into his side, enjoying how his cool skin contrasted with the warmth coming from above.

Before you could even register that you were still tired from your early wakeup call this morning, you’d drifted back into a comfortable sleep.

~~~~~

You were awoken some time later by a lick to the face. 

You shut your eyes tighter and groaned. “Gross, Astarion, I’m trying to sleep.” You threw an arm over your eyes, the sun now directly overhead. 

“Did you find them, boy?” A voice shouted from the distance.

Your eyes shot open and found Scratch panting above you, wagging his tail excitedly. 

You sat up quickly and immediately leaned over to shake Astarion who appeared to be trancing soundly. 

“Astarion,” you shook him anxiously. 

He scowled, his eyes still closed. He groaned lowly.

“Astarion, my dear, my sweet, my beloved,” you shook him harder and his eyes opened immediately. He sat up, fast as lightning.

“What’s happening? Where’s my knife?” He looked around frantically until his eyes landed on you. “Ah,” he said, calming, “déjà vu.” 

“They’re coming,” you hissed.

“Who?” Astarion narrowed his eyes, thoughts still foggy from his trance. 

“No FUCKING way!” Came Karlach’s voice from the treeline. 

You looked over and found her with an elated grin on her face and her hands on her knees. She started laughing loudly and you hid your face in your hands. 

“You guys did NOT,” she wheezed. 

“Hello Karlach,” Astarion’s voice sounded nonchalant beside you. “What brings you out to ruin our beauty sleep?” 

“Did you find them?” Shadowheart soon emerged from the forest and stopped in her tracks. She surveyed the area and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Astarion, tell me you didn’t.”

“Did what, darling?” He sounded smug and you looked over at him. His expression matched his tone. “You’ll have to be more specific.” He rested his chin on your shoulder.

“I fucking knew this would happen,” Karlach said, coming down from her laughing fit. “Soldier’s had her eye on you for a while now, Fangs.”

“Karlach!” You whisper-shouted.

“Oh, I’m aware,” you felt Astarion turn his head to look at you. 

Suddenly Gale, Lae’zel, and Wyll joined the fray. Scratch ran to them and happily weaved between them as they emerged. 

“We heard a commotion, did you find them?” Gale halted when he saw you and Astarion sitting together on the ground, him shirtless, you wearing his shirt. “No,” he said, shaking his head.

“Yes,” Astarion said, tilting his head against yours. You gave him a dirty look. 

“Chk! Was that filthy nest of our blankets your doing?” Lae’zel asked, cradling her greatsword proudly. 

You groaned and hid your face in your hands again. 

“It would appear so,” Wyll confirmed awkwardly. 

“You vampires have a disgusting way of mating if that nest was any indication,” Lae’zel narrowed her eyes and lifted her nose in the air judgmentally. “Far too soft.”

Astarion scoffed and pulled back from you. “I’ll have you know that vampires mate in the most satisfying- well, we don’t mate, necessarily, we’re not dogs, but we, well at least I, am always an exemplary lover.”

Shadowheart ignored him and walked forward, crouching down and resting a hand on your shoulder. You looked at her. “Are you okay?”

“What?” you laughed in disbelief. “Yes, I’m fine.”

“He didn’t… coerce you into something, did he?”

“Excuse me?” Astarion sounded insulted. “I always ask permission first, darling.”

“Your charms can be quite overwhelming at times, Astarion,” Gale said. 

“And wouldn’t you like having my charms turned on you, wizard,” Astarion sneered. 

“Well, let’s not jump to any conclusions,” Wyll held up his hands, gesturing for the others to relax.

“Everyone!” You raised your voice. All eyes settled on you. “Nothing happened between us that I didn’t expressly and happily agree to.”

Karlach started chuckling again. “Good for you, Soldier.”

“Thank you, Karlach,” said Astarion. 

You narrowed your eyes at him. 

He shrugged. “What?”

You groaned and stood up, wiping grass and forest debris off your clothes. You adjusted Astarion’s shirt on your shoulders, making sure you weren’t showing off too much to your companions. 

“Is there a reason you all came out here? Or was it just to mortify me? Because mission accomplished!”

“It’s midday,” informed Wyll. “We grew worried when the two of you seemingly vanished and didn’t return.”

“Halsin and the tieflings are coming to camp tonight to celebrate our victory against the goblins,” Shadowheart crossed her arms. 

“Yes, and it wouldn’t be a great look if our leader and the gangly one were missing,” Gale said.

“Gangly?!” Astarion exclaimed, very clearly not gangly. 

“You’re- okay, well, I hadn’t seen you shirtless before now,” Gale amended. 

“Like what you see?” Astarion teased. 

“Astarion,” you scolded. 

He sighed and got up, wrapping an arm around you and resting a hand on your hip. 

You went red as you watched your companions track his hand. 

“Listen, people,” Astarion said, sounding serious. 

You saw your companions’ eyes shift to the vampire. 

“Don’t give her a hard time. This was my doing.” Shadowheart was about to say something but Astarion raised his voice a bit. “While yes, she gave permission in everything that we did, this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t suggested it in the first place.”

“I could have suggested something much better, surely,” Lae’zel huffed.

“I mean, did you-?” Karlach thrust her hips in the air with her fists at her sides.

“Oh my gods,” you groaned.

“I don’t kiss and tell, darling,” Astarion said, squeezing your hip slightly. 

Karlach smirked smugly and winked at you both. 

You shook your head and looked up, silently begging any god that was listening to kill you and to do it quickly. 

“We should get back to camp,” Wyll suggested diplomatically. “Let these two collect themselves.” 

“So what does this mean?” Shadowheart asked, ignoring Wyll. 

“Shadowheart,” Wyll warned but she waved him off.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“Are you only going to sleep with the pathetic vampire moving forward?” Lae’zel stated bluntly.

You and Astarion looked at each other. You saw the slightest flash of uncertainty in his eyes and smiled. “If he’ll let me,” you said. 

A small smile appeared on his face in return.

Lae’zel groaned. “K'chakhi. Your loss.” She turned and walked back into the forest, slinging her greatsword over her back.

You bit your lip, feeling guilty about Lae’zel’s feelings, but Karlach soon slid into your vision. “Congrats, you crazy kids,” she laughed and pretended to punch your arm, then followed on Lae’zel’s heels, Scratch bounding close behind her.

Gale walked over, his face stoic. He stood in front of Astarion and held out his hand. 

Astarion scowled. “What is this, do you want some sort of handout?” 

“I want to shake your hand, you buffoon,” Gale sounded frustrated. 

“Gale…” you said sorrowfully. 

“No no, think nothing of it,” he waved you off. “The right man won out in the end.”

Astarion took his hand and shook it. “Better luck next time,” he jeered. 

“Astarion,” you scolded again. “You both know I’m not something to win, right?”

“Of course you’re not,” Gale nodded. “Apologies, I misspoke. I’ll see you both at camp. Lunch is bread and cheese to save room for tonight’s festivities.” He stiffly turned and walked back towards the trees. Wyll gave him a sympathetic look, then caught your eye. He nodded somewhat sadly and followed after Gale. 

“Well that certainly doesn’t feel good,” you said, holding a hand to your chest and breathing deeply.

“Not quite finished yet, love,” Astarion nodded over towards Shadowheart who lingered nearby. 

She approached slowly, holding her hands behind her back. Astarion released your hip and moved away, sensing what Shadowheart aimed to do. You looked at him curiously, but your attention was drawn back to Shadowheart as she threw her arms around your neck. 

“You’re happy?” She asked softly.

“Shadowheart…” you smiled into her hair. “Yes, I’m happy. Thank you.”

She pulled back to look at you in the eyes, double checking your expression. When she saw that you were genuine, she nodded. She cleared her throat and looked over at Astarion. 

She pointed an accusatory finger at him. “Hurt her, and you will never know a happy day again.”

Astarion held up his hands defensively. “I won’t-”

“You have never known the pain of Lady Shar’s wrath, and you’d be smart to keep it that way, so help me gods, Astarion.”

“I got it,” he said flatly. 

“Our Lady of Loss would not hesitate to strike you where you stand-”

“I think he gets it,” you said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Thank you, Shadowheart.”

Shadowheart narrowed her eyes at Astarion before she looked back at you. “I’ll see you at camp. Don’t dally.” She looked pointedly at Astarion who shrugged helplessly. 

When she headed back into the forest, you and Astarion were finally alone. 

You let out a heavy sigh.

“That was a lot,” Astarion joined you at your side.

“Wait, did you know those people?” you smirked at him.

“Vaguely,” he smirked back and caught you in a kiss. “At least I don’t have to hold back from doing that at camp now.” He held you close in his arms.

You sighed again and laid your head on his shoulder. “You were right. I didn’t realize so many of them felt something for me.”

“That seems to be because you block out the advances of others.”

You shoved him playfully. “How dare you turn my pitiful backstory against me.”

He smiled and held out his hand. “Come on, let’s go dismantle that ‘disgusting’ nest.” He did his best to impersonate Lae’zel on “disgusting.” 

It made you laugh. “Okay.”

You took his hand and let him lead you through the trees back to the blankets and pillows that you’d spent the night on. 

When you arrived, you picked up your shirt and bra, feeling mild embarrassment that the others had probably seen them and drawn (correct) conclusions. You removed Astarion’s shirt and threw it back at him, hitting him in the face and quickly covered your chest with your forearm. 

Astarion laughed as his shirt fell into his awaiting hands. “Darling, you don’t have to hide from me,” he narrowed his eyes seductively. “I’ve already seen it all.” He tossed the shirt aside and made his way over to you.

“Feels different in the light of day,” you admitted self-consciously. “Worse, I guess.”

“Now, now,” he said, gently pulling your arm away from your chest, “let me see you in the daylight.” You allowed him to move your arm but didn’t look at him. “Lovely,” he breathed, and kissed you hard. 

You inhaled in surprise, but immediately gave in and slipped your tongue into his mouth and your arms over his shoulders. His hand came up and began massaging your left breast, his icy touch sending a shock wave through you and making you moan. 

Instantly, you pulled away and took a step back. “Careful,” you said as Astarion stared at you wide-eyed, his hand frozen in the air where he’d been palming your breast, “I thought you wanted to take things slow?”

He made a sound somewhere between a groan and a dry heave. “Stop being so nice to me,” he avoided your gaze. “It makes me want to… be nice back.”

“Gods forbid,” you laughed, and bent to pick up your bra which had fallen back amongst the pillows. 

All of a sudden, you found yourself face down in the blankets, the wind knocked out of you and Astarion’s body weight pressed firmly on top of you.

“Astarion,” you wheezed, “what are you doing?”

His voice was sultry in your ear, “If you’ll remember, I said I wanted to take my time with you.”

Sexy as that was, you couldn’t breathe. You reached behind yourself and smacked Astarion’s back with your palm. “Living creatures need to breathe, idiot!”

“Oh,” he realized his error and rolled off of you. You had no time to adjust yourself before he flipped you over and hovered above you on his hands and knees. 

You blew some hair out of your face, irritated. “Did you just tackle me like I was some sort of prey?”

“My dear, I would never,” he bowed his head and kissed your neck.

“And yet I find myself on the ground, even though I didn’t put myself here,” you tangled your hands in his hair, your voice wobbly. 

“You’ve always been rather clumsy,” he murmured teasingly. 

You took a deep breath and pushed him away. His lips were still puckered, making you giggle. “Shadowheart told us not to dally,” you reminded him. “And she threatened to kill you, what? Three times?”

“You forget that I’m already dead,” he smiled. “What’s another little death?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

You snorted. “Bad.”

“I thought that was rather clever, actually.”

You rolled your eyes affectionately. “We should really head back.”

Astarion whined and hung his head. “Let me have you again, woman!”

“But you said-”

“I know what I said!” He lifted his head and looked you in the eye. “And while I appreciate your concern, right now, I very much want to be inside of you again.”

You smiled cautiously. “Are you sure?”

He rolled his eyes and kissed you, lowering his body to roll his hips against yours and making his erection very obviously. You jolted at the unexpected sensation and he pulled back.

“Unless this is too much for you,” he searched your face for hesitancy. “You’re probably still sore and we don’t have to rush anything-”

You gripped the back of his head and tightened your fist into his curls. “Please,” you whispered, “fuck me again.”

A wicked grin bloomed on Astarion’s face and he kissed you passionately, rolling his hips against yours for friction. You moaned into his mouth, but he broke the kiss after only a few moments. “Like I said, love, I want to take my time with you.”

He rose up onto his knees and began untying the laces of your pants. You watched him intently and bit your lip as he removed them fully from your legs. He made quick work of his own and crawled back on top of you. His thumb hooked under your panties and his eyes met yours. You nodded and he pulled them down gently and discarded them close by. He then laid beside you, his eyes heavy with lust.

“Come here, precious thing,” he purred and you inched yourself closer to him. “Turn around,” he instructed. You gave him a confused half smile but did what he asked. He reached forward and pulled your hips back, causing you to feel his still-clothed cock against your ass.

“What are you doing?” you asked nervously. 

Astarion chuckled. “Not that, fear not.” He kissed your shoulder as he slid his left arm under you and settled his hand on your lower stomach. A chill ran through you as he nuzzled his head onto your shoulder. “Fair warning,” you could hear the mischief in his voice as his right hand made itself known in front of your face. He wiggled his fingers in a delicate wave, then brought it down between your thighs. 

A gasp escaped your throat when you felt his fingers swipe through your folds.

Astarion tilted his head and kissed your throat. “So wet already, darling.”

“You’re handsome,” you said by way of explanation.

He hummed against your shoulder and began to rub your clit. A shuddering breath left your mouth and your eyes fluttered shut. Astarion paused for a moment to lift your leg and hike it back over his. “This will feel good,” he said against your skin and dragged his fingers through your folds again before inserting a digit into your cunt. 

You threw your head back in surprised pleasure, which made Astarion turn and nip at your ear. He began pumping and curling his finger slowly inside of you. Your breath caught when his thumb resumed its spot on your clit and whined when his finger inside of you hit a particularly sensitive spot. He adjusted his angle to hit it repeatedly. 

“Astarion,” you moaned, your head clouded with nothing but ecstasy. 

“Yes, my sweet, you’re gripping me so tight,” his voice was sensual in your ear. “Do you think you can take a little more?”

You nodded, your eyes shut tight. 

“Words, darling.”

“Another…” you said breathily.

“Another what?”

Your voice was sing-songy. “Astarion, if you don’t put another finger in me right now, I’m leaving you.”

He laughed loudly before moving his mouth close to your ear again. “You like me too much.” Then he leaned up a little to catch your eye, his finger still pumping between your thighs. “Right?”

You smiled sympathetically, seeing your words had spooked him a little. You reached a hand up to cup his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere,” you clarified. “But I might kill you.”

“Got it,” Astarion dragged his index finger through your folds, then carefully added it to your cunt alongside his middle finger. 

You exhaled, moving your hand down from his cheek to his hand resting on your stomach. You laced your fingers together and squeezed when he hit a particularly good spot, getting you to moan out an, “Oh, gods.”

“Like that?” He asked cockily, reaching and curling to hit the spot again. 

“Yes, my love,” you sighed, grinning upwards with your eyes closed. 

Behind you, you felt Astarion’s cock twitch.

Your eyes opened and you looked back at him. 

He smiled back at you sheepishly. “It does that sometimes, darling. When something is particularly arousing.”

Your breaths were coming out short and keeping in time with the pumping of his fingers. “Was it… ‘my love?’”

Astarion let out a low moan and hid his face in your shoulder before reemerging and nodding. “Coming from you while you’re in the throes of passion with me is really… something.”

You laughed between whimpers. “My… loooooove,” you sang, squeezing his hand again. “Your fingers feel heavenly, my looooove.”

“Fuck this,” Astarion said, pulling his fingers out of you unceremoniously and curling you forward with his body so he could shimmy out of his underwear. 

“What are you doing,” you winced and whined childishly, “I was so close!”

“Unfortunately, darling, if I’m not inside you within a matter of seconds, I’m going to lose it completely.”

“Wouldn’t want that,” you said, half dazed and still coming down from your almost climax. 

You felt his hand bump your ass as he pumped his cock and you instantly went stiff. “You’re not going to…?”

Astarion let out a breathy laugh. “Oh, my sweet, you’re not nearly ready for something like that yet.”

A relieved sigh escaped you. 

“We could always work our way up-”

“No, that’s okay,” you said quickly. 

“There’s nothing wrong with-”

“No, of course not-”

“But we can-”

“Let’s not talk about this now,” you patted Astarion’s cheek.

“Understood,” he nodded and resumed pumping his cock. “Hook your leg back over mine, darling.” When you followed his instruction, he kissed your shoulder once more. You felt the head of his cock glide through your folds until it prodded at your entrance and you let out a shaky exhale. “Don’t be scared,” he muttered, squeezing your hand. “Are you ready?”

You inhaled. “Yes.”

Just as he had last night, Astarion was slow to enter you. This time you heard him whimpering with his mouth so close to your ear. 

“Fuck,” he murmured, dragging his fangs from your shoulder to your neck, “still so tight.”

“Obviously,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut, but not feeling nearly as uncomfortable as you had the first time he’d entered you. You let out a satisfied exhale when his hips bumped your ass. 

“Let me know what I can move,” Astarion said against your skin, his words barely recognizable. 

“You can move,” you said almost immediately, reaching a hand up behind you and twisting it into Astarion’s hair. You moved it over a little to play with the tip of his ear.

He let out a loud groan and snapped his hips forward, probably with more force than he meant to. “Apologies,” he whispered, “that felt heavenly.”

“Keep going, my love,” you encouraged and he caught your eye with a seductive smile. 

He continued to pump his cock into your dripping hole and brought his right hand down to your clit. He licked a stripe from your neck up to your ear. “You know, I really did intend to take my time with you just now,” he spoke lowly from the back of his throat. As if to illustrate his point, he slowed his hips to take long, languid strokes out, and then moved back into you at an equally slow pace. His thumb on your clit slowed as he disconnected his left hand from yours and brought it up to fondle your breast. He kissed up your shoulder to your neck sloppily and sucked on the fading bite marks from last night. 

You moaned loudly, hooking your foot around his calf and tightening your fist in his hair. “We’d really be dallying, then,” you commented.

He made a frustrated noise. “Don’t even allude to the cleric right now,” he pulled away from your neck. “Unless it’s to tell me I’m a much better lover than her.” He snapped his hips into you, hard. 

“I don’t have much of a reference, genius,” you responded breathlessly. 

“Right,” he said, and picked up speed at your clit. His mouth returned to sucking on your throat. 

“Oohhh,” you sighed. You let out a gasp when Astarion’s left hand pinched your nipple.

“You feel wonderful, my darling,” spit connected him to your neck.

“So do you,” you brought your hand up to cover Astarion’s that was kneading your breast. “You can bite me, if you want.”

He groaned loudly and bumped his nose against your jaw. “Well,” he said between thrusts, “if you insist.” 

He kissed your throat before biting down, his hips instantly picking up speed. 

The ice that shot into your veins was a shock as always, but melted into a fuzzy pleasure that had your eyes drooping in ecstasy. 

Astarion took long pulls of your blood as he continued thrusting, circling your clit, and needing your breast. How he was keeping track of everything at once was beyond you in this pleasant, foggy state. 

“Darling,” he pulled away suddenly, swallowing loudly and seemingly out of breath. “May I taste you as you come?”

Your tongue lolled to the side, but his voice snapped you out of it. You nodded up at him. “Yes, please.”

“What do you need?” He licked the wounds on your neck. 

“As much as I’m enjoying you taking your time,” you said, “harder and faster.”

“Easy,” a cocky grin graced his face as a drop of your blood dripped down his chin. 

His hips picked up a brutal pace that nearly had you reaching your peak, and he pressed further onto your clit, his tight circles picking up speed as well. 

“Oh, Astarion,” you moaned loudly, reaching back again to grip his hair.

“Come for me, dearest,” he spoke softly against your throat, but loud enough that you could hear, “I want to hear you sing again. I want to taste how sweet your blood is when I make you cum on my cock.” He continued leaving sloppy kisses against your neck.

“I’m close,” you confirmed, your eyes shut tight and your body tensing. 

“Go ahead, love, I’ve got you,” his hard thrusts were becoming uneven, but ever the professional, his voice remained mostly even. “You’re so tight and warm, thank you for letting me taste you.” He kissed your mouth. “Darling.” Another kiss. “Beloved.” One more. “Mine.”

You cried out as you fell over the edge, your cunt squeezing his cock repeatedly, only to cry out again as you felt Astarion’s fangs enter your neck once more. 

“Astarion!” You shouted, squeezing his hand and pulling his hair and wrapping your shaking leg around his. Almost simultaneously, you felt Astarion spill inside you as he moaned your name loudly into your neck, his hips pulsing clumsily against you. 

The sensation of him drawing your blood was still pleasantly fuzzy, but you could feel yourself becoming light headed. You tapped his arm twice, your signal for him to stop, and he pulled away, leaning his forehead against your temple and breathing heavily. 

“Still cumming,” he groaned and clenched his teeth, his hips faltering in their rhythm. 

After another moment, his body finally relaxed and he pulled you closer into his chest, catching his breath. “That was… amazing,” he sighed happily, leaning forward to lick the remaining blood from your neck. “If I knew blood could taste that good-” His voice trailed off. “Well, I’m sure I’d do something about it if I could.” He seemed pleased with his own answer and hummed contentedly behind you.

“I’m glad it was to your liking,” you said, looking back at him with a smile. He bent forward and kissed you happily. “I’m like a fine vintage,” you teased.

Astarion pursed his lips. “You’re far from vintage, darling, you’ll have to work on your wine related japes.” 

You laughed and a comfortable silence fell between you. Astarion rested both of his hands on your stomach. Which growled suddenly.

“What’s that like?” He teased, licking a wayward drop of blood from the side of his mouth. 

Your body tensed. “Oh gods, bread and cheese!”

Astarion blinked at you. “Are those some sort of new deities I’m not aware of, or-?”

“No, that’s what Gale said we’re having for lunch.”

“And that’s important because-?”

“Because we DALLIED and there’s a PARTY tonight and now Shadowheart is going to KILL us.”

“I see.” Astarion remained still, fixed in place. Then suddenly he was pulling out of you at a breakneck speed and reaching for his clothes. 

You winced a little at the sensation but scrambled for your own clothes, wiping yourself down with the cloth Astarion provided again and got dressed in what was probably record time. 

Incredibly, you both looked presentable. 

“We do make a gorgeous pair,” Astarion cocked his hip and smirked at you, going in for a kiss.

You swatted him away. “Enough flirting, loverboy, we can talk about us later!” You started reaching for blankets and pillows. 

“Us,” Astarion stood on the sidelines, testing out the word on his tongue. “I do so like the sound of that.”

“Help me, would you?” You threw a pile of blankets at him, hitting him in the face and blowing his hair back. 

He groaned. “It should be a crime to rush after you’ve just made love to the most amazing woman.” He came up behind you and smacked your butt teasingly. 

You stood up straight and tried to look angry. “We are going to die if we don’t head back right now.” Astarion wasn’t buying your anger, so you turned bashful. “You made loooove to me?” You clasped your hands together by your face. “You think I’m amaaaazing?” You twirled some of your hair for good measure.

Astarion sighed. “Be serious, woman, we’re going to die!” His voice was exasperated but he smirked at you. He bent to pick up more blankets and pillows and you did the same until you both had piles you could barely see over and nothing was left behind.

“Ugh, I’m going to have to do so much laundry,” you muttered. “Seriously, how did you manage bringing all this out here?”

“Well first, everything was folded neatly.”

“We don’t have time.”

“And second, multiple trips, darling.”

“We can’t afford to leave camp EVER again.”

Try as you might to rush back to camp, you still had to maneuver through a forest and be careful where you stepped. The pair of you moved as quickly as you could, which wasn’t as fast as was probably necessary to avoid Shadowheart’s ire. 

“Soooo…” You broke the silence after a few moments. 

“Gods,” Astarion rolled his eyes, “what?”

“‘My love,’ huh?” You waggled your eyebrows at him.

“What about it?”

“You liiiiiiked it,” you teased. 

“I-” You could see that he thought about arguing but decided not to. “I’m not used to the pet names turned on me. It’s… nice.”

“You’re cute,” you said, looking over at him affectionately and nearly tripping over a tree root as a result.

Astarion snickered, then made his face serious. “I’m the furthest thing from cute. I’m a horrifying monster.” He lowered his voice as if that would back him up.

“Yeah, but you like being mushy.” 

“I do not.”

“You do!” You moved closer to him and bumped his hip with your own. “You were so sweet to me yesterday. And just now.” 

“It’s different with you,” he said quietly.

“Oh?” You raised your eyebrows.

“It’s… um… This is stupid, I hate it.” He tried to walk ahead of you but you caught up easily.

“No, no! Please.” You gave him a reassuring look. “I, of all people, will not judge you.”

He sighed. “It’s just… nice to feel like something is mine.” He was quick to correct, “Not that I own you but… I don’t know. You’re not a victim. Not a target. Not just… one night it’s better to forget. You’re something entirely new.”

You smiled over at him. “I like you too, weirdo.”

Astarion humphed. “Whatever.” He moved closer and bumped your hip with his own. The two of you shared a fond look, then turned back to the path ahead.

If Shadowheart was going to kill you, at least you’d die together. 

You both quickened your pace to try and avoid that fate, but it was a lovely thought.

Soon, you began to make out the bright colors of your tents through the trees and the sound of your companions chatting by the fire. 

You turned to Astarion. “See you on the other side.”

He nodded, determined. “It’s been a pleasure servicing you, darling.”

“I hope she kills you first.”

You shared a laugh before you took a calming breath. 

And stepped into camp. 

[maysileeewrites]

bittersweet symphony || chapter 3

Haymitch Abernathy x f!reader || series masterlist

Summary: Being back in District Twelve isn't at all the silver lining you'd imagined it to be ... [read chapter two here]

w.c.: 4.8k || t.w.: mentions of grief & death, reader and Haymitch are doing their best to deal with things, angst!!, another very angsty look at Haymitch's thoughts (oh, the self-sabotage), mentions of survivor's guilt

AN: I'm so sorry that it took me like forever to get this chapter out, but Uni's so incredibly stressful rn. This chapter is very much a transitional chapter - I found myself constantly rewriting chunks of it, but in the end I decided to include all of the messy emotional stuff reader and Haymitch are going through. The plot will pick up within the next chapter though, we're nearing the first major turning point of the story ...

The morning after the festivities thrown for your return to District Twelve, you stay in bed for as long as possible. 

Not because you’re tired - though you feel such an all-encompassing numbness that the whole night spent tossing and turning doesn’t seem to have settled deep down in your bones just yet - but because you can’t stand the thought of actually getting up and facing the day. 

Because getting up would mean having to go down the grand marble staircase of the new grand and cold house your family now lives in, and having to face your family at the grand mahogany table in the kitchen for breakfast.

You can picture it all on your head: your brothers, Will and Felix, bickering over who gets the larger slice of bread, and your dad watching them with a knowing, tired smile on his face. He’d be the first one to notice you approaching, looking up at you and asking you how you’ve slept and whether you want tea from some herbs growing in the meadow behind the house or some fresh milk from the goat for breakfast. You’d answer tea, as you always do, grinning, as you’d ruffle through Will’s hair, ignoring his cries of protest. 

But all that is a thing of the past now, isn’t it?

Your family won’t need to rely on the goat producing milk anymore and you won’t have to harvest the wild, overgrown meadow behind your ramshackle house for some mint or chamomile leaves to make tea. Your dad won’t look worn down with exhaustion from his shift down at the mines from yesterday, and he won’t be in a hurry to leave for work, ruffling through Will’s and Felix’ hair before leaving. Because due to your new status as a victor of the Hunger Games, you’re rich now. Or at least richer than everyone else in District Twelve, excluding Haymitch. 

You’re rich now, and your family won’t have to worry about money anymore, but somehow the thought doesn’t fill you with as much happiness as it probably should. Instead, the only thing you feel is this numbness, this bone-deep, aching exhaustion. 

You’re a victor now. 

And even though it’s only been a bit over a month since you’ve left District Twelve for the Hunger Games, you can already feel the person you used to be back then starting to slip away from you. Who you were back then, that kind and caring, innocent person is slipping through your fingers one sleepless night, one nightmare about all the other dead tributes at a time. 

You’re not who you were when you left, but still you feel an immense, desperate urge to shield your family from that darkness inside you. You don’t want your Dad to see the tired sadness in your eyes, you don’t want your little brothers to hear you wake up screaming in the middle of the night-

Suddenly, there’s a knock at your door. It’s short and impatient, so you immediately rule out your dad. When the door opens, before you even get the chance to answer, you hastily sit up, trying to appear as though you didn’t just spent the better part of the last several hours in bed, wearily watching the sun rise on the horizon.

„See, I told Dad that you’re already up!“, Will says, not even bothering with a good morning. But that’s your loud, frantic little brother for you. 

You cross your arms in front of your chest. Somehow, with Will standing there in the doorway looking at you with an irritated sense of exasperation that feels all too familiar, the grin stealing its way onto your lips feels natural, and not at all forced.

„I could’ve still been sleeping!“, you say, shaking your head. „And good morning to you too, Will.“ 

Will just roles his eyes. „Yes, but it’s well after ten in the morning - if I were someone else, I’d have yanked away your sheets first.“

You roll your eyes at the way he emphasized the ‚someone else‘. Will’s always been a heavy sleeper, so whenever he didn’t wake up in time for school - which happened much more often than he’d care to admit -, it was up to you to see to it that he and Felix would still leave the house on time. Over the years, you’d tried a lot of different methods of getting Will to wake up, aggressively opening the old, threadbare curtains to let the bright sunlight in and turning the volume of your family’s old, crackly radio up to its highest capacity among them. But over time you’d worked out that while everything else might fail, yanking away his bed sheets would have him sit up in bed like nothing else. 

You can feel a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips, but then your warm and comforting childhood memories are overshadowed by something else. 

Will said that it’s already well after ten in the morning - you can’t remember ever sleeping that long. Or rather, staying in bed that long. Somehow, being faced with the time of day, actually getting up out of bed feels even more impossible now. 

„ - hey, you alright?“, Will asks you. Though he’s sat down at the edge of your bed, he sounds as if he’s far away from you. 

He says your name again, clear concern for you now etched onto his features. 

You blink, forcing a smile onto your face. „Sure, I’m just - it’s been a lot with the festivities and all …“, you say, your voice trailing off, as your mind inevitably takes you back to last night. Seeing Will dance together with Ellerie Foster. The look of hurt and confusion on Ellerie’s face when you just left her standing there like that with no explanation. And Haymitch, his taunting words and the mocking tone in which he delivered them a stark contrast to the profoundly sad expression in his bright grey eyes. 

Will nods, refocusing your attention back on the current moment. „I - I can’t even begin to imagine how you must be feeling … what you’ve gone through …“, he says, his voice uncharacteristically serious, void of the bravado he typically displays so well. „I mean, seeing it - watching you and Kai, s-seeing it all …“

„Will“, you say, your voice breaking and suddenly it takes everything in you not to break down into tears right then and there. But this is Will, your sweet, fourteen year-old little brother. And while you might not be able to shield him from everything bad in this world - these last few weeks have very much proven that -, this isn’t his burden to bear. It’s bad enough knowing that he and Felix and your dad watched your moments in the Games on television. But you don’t want either of your little brothers finding you plagued by nightmares in the middle of the night. That’s not their burden, not their pain to bear. 

„W-what I’m t-trying to say, I guess - is - if you ever need to talk to to someone …“, Will offers, his eyes finding yours. „I mean - I know I’m only your stupid little brother“, he adds, in a very exaggerated imitation of your voice, causing you to smile faintly. „But I just - I want you to know that we’re all here for you. You’re not alone.“

Tears threaten to blur your vision and you feel your throat closing up. Fearing that any attempt at speaking right now would only end up in miserable croaks, you just lean forward and hug Will tightly to you. 

For once, he doesn’t protest the display of sisterly affection, hugging you back just as tightly. 

Your heart aches. When did Will, your annoyingly over-confident little brother become so wise? When did he grow up so much? 

„Thank you“, you say, forcing the words out. „I love you all so much.“

That, at least is the truth. But as you hug Will to yourself, you make a promise to yourself: Will might be right in saying that you’re not alone, but you absolutely do not want to to drag him and Felix into everything that’s happened to you in the Games and in the Capitol. 

These memories are not their burden to bear, not their pain to deal with. 

Time passes. 

The oppressive, sweltering heat of August gives way to a September that’s just as unbearably hot and dry, though up in your grand new mansion in the Victor’s Village it’s decidedly more bearable than it was all the other years down in the Seam. 

You still visit the Seam regularly, though. 

A few days after your return to District Twelve, you set off to the little crooked house Kai’s family lives in. The smell of bean and ham hock soup still seems to permeate the air - or at least it feels that way to you, almost making you turn around and head back home right then and there. 

But you persist. If nothing else, you owe this to Kai - you’ve always watched out for each other, and this is no different than that. 

At first, Kai’s mother seems just as happy as ever to see you, but soon enough, the conversation feels unbearably heavy and uncomfortable, especially once Ellerie gets home from school. 

For a moment, you and Ellerie just stand there, staring at each other. 

„I- I’m really sorry“, you say, your voice sounding strained and on the verge of breaking, „I - I know that it could never truly make up for anything, but I wanted to you to know that I want to share my winnings with you. I - Kai and I we - we talked about it, before the Games, agreeing that should either of us survive the Games, we’d share the money with the other’s family-“

„That’s a wonderful idea“, Kai’s mother interrupts you gently, „you two were always looking out for each other.“ 

You want to say something, anything, but you find yourself unable to speak. 

But then Ellerie says your name, her dark grey eyes, so very much like Kai’s, finding yours. „Thank you.“ 

That’s all she says, but the heavy weight and the quiet sincerity behind her words tell you much more than all the words in the world ever could. 

You nod, holding her gaze. „Anything.“ 

After that, it’s almost harder visiting the Seam, especially for Kai’s funeral at the beginning of September. Even the weather has shifted from District Twelve’s typical insufferable summer heat to the first inklings of an autumn breeze. 

The funeral is a much bigger affair than you’d expected - it feels like almost everyone from the Seam is here. Which of course only makes sense, with the way Kai seemed to know almost everyone. Truly, you’d never realized just how lucky you were that he always chose to spend most of his time with you.

Your family’s there as well, Felix crying quietly into your father’s side and Will squeezing your hand almost knowingly, before you walk forward to where Ellerie and Kai’s mother are standing. They’d asked you beforehand whether you’d wanted to say something at the funeral and you’d agreed, somewhat hesitantly. Not because you don’t want to honor Kai’s memory, but because it’s hard enough trying to deal with your grief on your own. 

It’s one thing to wake up with Kai’s name echoing through your mind, your eyes burning with unshed tears after yet another nightmare in the middle of the night - alone and in your bedroom. It’s another thing entirely to be standing in front of his small grave, looking at all the people surrounding you. 

So many people came. 

So many lives that Kai’s soul touched, somehow. 

And for a moment, you can almost feel him standing next to you, grinning at your thoughts. Come on, he’d say, amusement in his bright grey eyes, don’t exaggerate. 

You steel your shoulders, the vision of Kai standing next to you, squeezing your hand encouragingly, giving you the strength to go on. 

„Kai was my best friend“, you start to say, your voice carrying out over the small meadow. „But he was so much more than that. He was Iris’ son and Ellerie’s annoying, overly protective older brother.“ At that, you hear Ellerie chuckling faintly. 

„His life was cut far too short by the Games, yet he touched a lot of other lives. Back in the Arena, he didn’t only try to protect me, his District partner. It was his idea to protect Flora and Dalton, Finn and Sarah, and Cassie and Lucas, too. He knew that, in the end, only one of us could win the Games, and yet he still wanted to protect them all.“ 

You pause, needing a moment to collect your thoughts, to collect yourself. To fight off brutal memories from your time in the Arena. No matter how much time passes, it never seems to get any easier shaking off all your darkest, most disturbing memories. 

When you look back up, your eyes meet an all too-familiar pair of bright grey ones. 

Haymitch. 

It can’t be, you think, almost expecting Haymitch to not stand there, far off to the side in between two massive oak trees, when you blink. But he’s still standing there, still staring at you, with an indecipherable, dark and heavy expression in his gaze, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his hands for once void of a liquor bottle. 

He holds your gaze, one of his eyebrows cocked as if to say go on. 

You breathe in deeply, squaring your shoulders, feeling out for that vision of Kai standing next to you again. Because even though you’re wondering what on earth Haymitch is doing here and what he’s been up to during the weeks you’ve been back in District Twelve - even though you’re practically neighbors now, you haven’t seen him once since the evening of your return, which is probably for the best -, this moment doesn’t belong to Haymitch. 

It’s Kai’s, through and through. 

 „But that was Kai for you“, you say, picking your speech up again. „Always looking out for others. Always caring. Always offering a helping hand …“ 

After you finish, there’s a moment of silence. It stretches on, yet not uncomfortably so, until Iris steps forward, squeezing your hand. 

„Thank you.“ 

You nod. „Of course.“ 

You attempt a smile, but Iris seems to see right through you, because she hugs you to her chest, right as your tears start to fall. And for a moment, you allow yourself to be held and comforted by Iris. 

But then you square your shoulders again, stepping back. Still, you’re grateful when Ellerie reaches for your hand. 

When you look around the meadow again, the spot between the two massive oak tress is empty once again. 

During the next few months, that’s all you ever see of Haymitch: small glimpses, all of them over so quickly that they all make you question whether or not you didn’t just imagine them in the first place.

He mostly seems to keep to himself, secluded in his grand mansion just down the end of the road of the Victor’s Village. More often than you’d like, you catch yourself thinking about him and about how he’s doing. He must be incredibly lonely, cooped up in that big house all by himself, for days on end. How does he deal with it, with the loneliness and the memories and the nightmares? 

Does he still wake up screaming every night as well? 

Is he still being plagued by nightmares of his time in the Arena? 

Or is that where all that white liquor you keep seeing getting delivered to his house gets into place? Is that his way of trying to cope with everything - just trying to drown all his sorrows in alcohol? 

Some days - those are usually your better days, the ones you spend surrounded by your friends and family, keeping your mind as preoccupied and focused on good, happier thoughts as much as possible - you just feel incredibly sad for Haymitch, your heart breaking for the lonely man living just a few houses down the road. 

How does he survive it, always isolating himself like that?, you catch yourself thinking on an evening in early October. 

It’s a Saturday evening and after being talked down by Will and Felix for the better part of the last hour, your dad has agreed to let Iris and Ellerie stay the night at your place. You’re in the middle of a game of cards with your loved ones, surrounded by warmth and laughter, yet you can’t help but look out the window at the dark and empty street outside. A faint autumn breeze swirls a few colored leaves in the air, but that’s the only movement you can see outside. 

Everything else, including Haymitch’s house down the road seems empty and deserted. 

Lifeless. 

On other days though, you start to think that Haymitch might be onto something, always having a bottle of mind-numbing liquor at the ready. 

Those are your bad days, the ones where you already start the day in a dark, empty place, your mind full of images of Kai’s lifeless body, of Flora torn apart by mutts. 

Those are days where you can hardly talk yourself into getting out of bed, where you feel as if you’ll never escape the Arena, as if you’ll always exist in this prison of your own mind, your friends and family always impossibly out of reach. 

Those days, you mostly keep to yourself. 

Some days, you end up wandering aimlessly through District Twelve, first haunting the empty streets of the Victor’s Village, then the town square and finally moving on to your old neighborhood in the Seam. 

Other days, you spend all day-long sitting perched on your windowsill, watching summer storms crackling through the air, autumn leaves swirling in the distance, the first fall of snow settling on the pavement outside. 

Sitting there, perched on your windowsill, a cup of tea long gone cold clutched in your hand, you think that maybe that’s the way it’ll always be, that you’ll be always be condemned to be nothing more than an outsider, always observing, never belonging. 

Some days, you can be surrounded by laughter and your brothers’ arguing echoing through the air, and still feel incredibly lonely and separate from everyone else. Those are the days where you strangely feel closer than ever to Haymitch, even though you haven’t spoken to each other in months.

How relieving it must be, you think, leaning your head against the cold windowpane, to be able to turn your mind off completely. 

Before he knows it, nearly four months have passed, and it’s almost time to pack up his things once again and board the train to start her Victory tour. 

The letter - written and sent to him by none other than one insufferable Effie Trinket herself - containing their schedules for the tour, is lying in the exact same spot he dropped it, after opening it two weeks ago. 

Usually, he only receives a letter from Effie Trinket once a year - every year during the middle of June, without a doubt, there will be a letter in Effie Trinket’s elegant scrawl waiting for him, stamped from the Capitol, informing him of his never-changing schedule for the Reaping. 

This year had been no different, and after opening the letter, his eyes skimming over the note on beige parchment - this year, decorated with some delicate flowers - Effie had attached to his schedule, he’d dropped the letter right on top of the stack on his writing desk. 

Over the years, he’s kept all the letters containing his schedules and the personal notes from Effie. He’s not quite sure why, though. 

The first year after his own Hunger Games, he was this close to just feeding the sheets of paper to the fire he’d got started in his fireplace just for that purpose, but something made him stop. He took a step back, crumpling the letter in his hand and dropping the crumpled pieces of paper on his writing desk, before reaching for his half empty bottle of white liquor instead. 

To this day, he’s still not quite sure why he kept that letter, and every single one after that. 

It’s not like Effie Trinket is a close confidant of his. Truly, he’d not even consider her a friend. Though maybe that doesn’t say much, because nowadays, there’s no one he’d consider a friend, except for- 

No. 

He shakes his head, taking another swig of his bottle, trying to force his thoughts back to the problem at hand. 

Easier said than done.

Even as he tries to focus his thoughts on Effie’s one-sided correspondence, her face still keeps coming up in his mind. 

The way she’d looked at Kai Foster’s funeral, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. He remembers thinking that, for a moment, she’d seemed so frail, and lost. Almost as if a simple blast of air might knock her off her feet altogether. But then she’d squared her shoulders, stepping forward. Chin held high, her face so sad and heartbroken, yet in her eyes there was an angry, almost defiant spark. It was that exact same spark he’d seen in her that first day on the train, the same spark that initially drew him to-

Haymitch hastily gets up then, almost knocking over his bottle of liquor in the process. 

Air, he thinks, grabbing his bottle and throwing a woolen coat over his pajamas, he just needs some fresh air, and then he’ll be able to get his head on straight again. Or, well, as straight as can be in his particular case. 

He stumbles out of the door of his house, some Capitol news show still on the television, the fireplace crackling. 

The cold, chilly November night air hits him immediately and he breathes in greedy lungfuls of fresh air. 

That’s better, he thinks, allowing himself one big swig of liquor from his bottle. Much better. 

He just needs to make it through that dreadful Victory tour, and then he can go on doing his best ignoring her day in and day out. Ignoring her, even though they’re practically neighbors now, and some nights, he sits huddled on the front porch of his house, listening to the laughter coming from her house. 

His grip on the bottle tightens, as he blindly and aimlessly stumbles through the dark, deserted street. 

Forget. Ignore. 

Forget. 

Don’t even think about it. 

Forget, he thinks, taking another sip from his bottle, the white liquor burning his tongue. 

Forget and ignore, then move on. 

It’s what he’s always forced himself to do since returning an unlucky victor to Twelve, it’s what he’s always had to force himself to do. Because it was either that or cause his loved ones even more pain than just the pain that comes from him ignoring them or hurling liquor bottles at their girlfriend’s face. 

Haymitch cringes at the memory of that moment, at the shocked and pained expression in Asterid’s bright blue eyes, and at the rage, mixed with dispair displayed on Burdock’s face. And though that’s usually just one of the too many memories he tries not to dwell on, stuffing them right back down into the deepest, darkest pits of his twisted mind, right now he holds on to the pain of that moment. 

He has to. Has to remind himself that that’s the reason he doesn’t let people get close anymore, why he’s continuously shutting them out, even though Effie Trinket keeps sending him her stupid letters, and every few months, there’s a new basket of freshly dried herbs sitting on his doorstep, courtesy of none other than Asterid Everdeen. His best friend’s wife - well, former best friend would probably be a much more accurate description - and he didn’t even attend their wedding. Didn’t get to witness Burdock excitedly telling him about how he’s going to be a father. Instead, he found out through whispers on the Hob. 

Because that’s his life now, that has been his life ever since becoming a victor, and that has to continue to be his life forevermore. He’s never going to be more than an unlucky, bitter and cynical outsider, looking in. 

He can’t be. 

He can’t. 

Because no matter how desperate and lonely he might start to feel, in the end it won’t be worth it. No amount of warm, happy hours could ever be worth it, knowing that in the end, her blood will be on his hands, too. 

And so, he has to continue to stay away from her, to ignore her and-

A body colliding with his, the force of it all knocking the liquor bottle from his hand, which flies to the ground, shattering into a dozen pieces, breaks the train of his thoughts. 

Haymitch doesn’t need to look up to know that it’s her, because of course it is. 

He can talk all he wants about needing to stay away from her in order to protect her, in the end he’s still the same unlucky bastard he was eleven years ago that fate keeps trying to knock down. Lenore Dove wouldn’t like that line of thinking, he suddenly finds himself thinking, wouldn’t like how he’s convinced that in the end, his doom will be inevitable. 

She would probably agree, he thinks, his eyes meeting hers. 

There’s something wild and desperate about her, he thinks, taking her in. Her wide open eyes are shimmering with unshed tears and her cheeks are flushed. She’s wearing nothing but a set of pajamas and soft slippers and she’s crossed her arms in front of her chest, shivering. 

„Haymitch?“, she says, her voice colored with disbelief. 

He smirks. „In the flesh, Princess.“ 

She rolls her eyes, then shakes her head. „I - but - what- what … you-what are you doing here?“

He forces himself to shrug, to keep his distance, to not let his thoughts wander. „I could ask you the same thing.“ 

That seems to deflate her, but only for a short moment. „It’s the middle of the night-“

„It is“, he agrees, nodding, „and you should be getting your beauty sleep, seeing as tomorrow’s another big, big, big day!“ 

She shakes her head, her gaze landing on the pieces of his liquor bottle lying on the ground. „You-you shouldn’t be - you have to be up in just a few hours!“

Haymitch laughs mirthlessly. Instead of answering her, he shrugs off his coat, stepping towards her and ignoring her protest, when he proceeds to wrap the coat around her. 

„No, Haymitch- I don’t need that-“

„It’s cold“, he interrupts her. 

She huffs a breath, shaking her head at him and raising her eyebrows in an exasperated are you serious? expression. 

„Yes it is, which is why you shouldn’t-“

„Just take the damn coat, Princess“, he interrupts her. „I could do without all the teeth chattering and shivering.“ 

Haymitch expects another retort then, instead her expression almost seems to soften. 

Then, he remembers as well, that moment of them together on the roof in the Capitol, him handing her his sweater, and saying those exact same words to her. 

He shakes his head. How can it be that they haven’t spoken a word to each other in almost fours months, and yet it feels like no time at all has passed? 

Dangerous, he thinks, biting down hard on his lower lip. Letting his thoughts stray in that direction is dangerous, and will do him no good at all. 

„Haymitch“, she says then, breaking the silence between them. 

Haymitch’s heart aches upon hearing how small and lost her voice sounds. How uncertain. 

And it’s all his fault, all of it. 

Oh, how he wishes that the last four months hadn’t happened, that she’d never been reaped as tribute, that their paths had never crossed. 

„Haymitch, I-“, she says, then stops. 

Their eyes meet. Hers are shimmering with unshed tears, and full of so many emotions. Dread and terror for what lays ahead of them in form of the Victory tour. Fury and resentment, clearly aimed at him. And something else, something painstakingly familiar to Haymitch, this bittersweet regret-

She clears her throat then, shaking her head, and Haymitch can see it, can see the shift in her, can feel the moment she closes off again. 

„I - you … you-you should get some rest, you know …“, she says, trailing off uncertainly. 

Haymitch nods, grinning bitterly. „You too, Princess. Wouldn’t want to ruin the big day …“ 

She nods, a faint, half-hearted smile on her lips. „I - good night then, Haymitch.“ 

He forces himself to nod, to take a step back. There’s so much more that he wants, no needs to say to her. But he can’t - he needs to keep reminding himself of that. He can’t. He closed that window nearly four months ago, and for good reason at that. 

In the end, all he says is: „Good night, Princess.“ 

And even though a small, desperate part of him wants to stay, wants to say everything that’s on his mind, he forces himself to turn around and walk away instead.

gentle reminder that feedback is always welcome and that re-blogs really help me with visibility <3

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[alicentflorent]

Alright so bridgerton decided to tell a story where they gave their one dimensional 90s-esque blonde mean girl bully a story where we actually see a new side of her and see her learn to be a better person through her friendship with another woman, after previously seeing her treat other women as the enemy and competition we see her putting another woman, her new friend, before herself.

We also don’t just see this character start to grow and change but we learn of her tragic home life who in the second half of the season intends to marry her off to a 70 year old man who intends to rape her until she has at least five forced births. Then she tried to tell her so called women’s rights activist best friend who doesn’t listen because she only cares about her own problems, her mother also won’t help, society doesn’t care so she makes a desperate attempt by declaring herself as whistledown to gain money in her own right to take care of herself and get herself out of the marriage. The silver lining is she actually did manage to get herself out of the marriage so it was a smart move in saving herself but her so called progressive friend makes out that this is means Cressida was always just a bad person and the so called friend never looks at it from the perspective of a woman’s desperation to be free, despite women having freedom has been a major plot point this season and Eloise wants women to be different from societal expectations but no, not like that, not in away that I don’t find morally acceptable. Eloise coud have helped Cressida, the only person to show Eloise kindness and friendship when she needed someone, escape her horrible circumstances regardless of whether she “deserves” help.

But i guess the writers decided despite the development Cressida is a mean girl at heart and did something unforgiveable (but the real whistledown is forgiven quickly) so then they for some reason do a complete 180 and have her resort back to gossiping mean girl who bullies and spreads untrue rumours so that they can justify sending her away to live miserably to make Penelope’s happy ending more cliche by getting rid of her bully instead of making her a nuanced interesting character.

[deuxadeux-if]

ahem

hi hi hi

i have been reworking the outline and whatnot as i mentioned i would hopefully do in time. my goal is tentatively to have the outline solidified with beat-by-beat details structured nicely by the end of July. so far it’s looking good on that front, but i’m not rushing it terribly as i’d rather begin an actual draft again once i feel very secure in the plotting/planning than begin drafting before i feel confident in the story as a whole.

i dont really have anything else to share at this time but just in case anyone was wondering yes i have picked this back up (albeit slowly) once more. i will be redoing the prologue and chapter 1 (which is unforch and tragic), not because i truly desire a rewrite—i actually am not terribly dissatisfied with what i’d had written at first, and if i had written those drafts in line with the new changes i’ve made to the outline and general structure of the story, i would certainly have kept it. however, i have elected to make big changes, which fall roughly into one of the following two categories.

i am going to be stricter with my word count goals, and limit it a good amount so the project doesn’t become unwieldy. the plan is to have a short prologue, 8 chapters (each averaging about 50,000 words, i THINK—but this may change a little, not super sure yet), and a short epilogue. branches will go wide at some points, but aside from the endings (which will, necessarily, be somewhere between moderately and very different from one another) the story will come together after major branching until the very end. that is to say, there will be plot points serving as “anchors”/bottlenecks to keep things moving relatively in the same direction, despite any flag- or stat-based variations that branch things out differently at times.

the nitty-gritty of Deux à Deux has changed quite a bit in the name of keeping a more precise/purposeful storyline AND more manageable variables on my end. characters, settings, PC (to some extent), ROs, and general plot stuff has been tweaked significantly. the new/different things are roughly as follows:

NEW & DIFFERENT THINGS...

Erin and Theo are no longer ROs (sorry—i love them too but it’s a necessary evil i fear)

PC is no longer a boxer. this is mostly because it just was another variable/personality thing that i didn’t really need to be there, and combat isn’t going to be as big of a Thing as i initially dreamed of

There are new people & figures in the world of Deux that matter. not much more to say about this for the moment, but this is mostly a vague stand-in explanation that will make more sense relatively early in the story

R Burns is now Ronnie Burns for all genders. Ronnie is still gender-selectable by player. only thing with the name is if they’re a woman in your playthrough then Ronnie is short for Veronica—otherwise it’s just Ronnie all around!

M Nguyen is now Minh Nguyen for all genders. same situation as with Ronnie. really this is just because i do not want to deal with the name coding variations. also i really like the names Ronnie and Minh and want to leave them for all genders AHA

The reason the Lyonses and PC initially get drawn together is going to be a little different. not too much for me to say here, because luckily for me i didn’t end up releasing ch. 1 before the hiatus the past few months, but basically PC will have more agency here. or like…PC will be a standalone person, and will not be inherently reliant on the Lyonses in the sort of pseudo-sugar-baby-but-not-quite kinda way it was initially planned to be

so…yes! things will be different to how i initially sort of expected, in terms of plot but also a little bit in terms of tone and theme. but i like it a lot, and i think it’s getting pretty decent. we shall see, but regardless i hope we all have a great time on the journey AHAH (and i think we will!!)

i’m super excited to start drafting again with a real real real plan for the story, i think it will give me a lot more confidence to like. write well! lol. also—the patreon will not be returning because i don’t think it’s necessary for this project. any random drabbles/POVs/other stuff will be posted for free on here or somewhere else tbd. but the actual game will be like…basically my only concern.

so yes. a new demo is TBD, but the project is on again for sure. in the meantime, if anyone wants to check out the pinterest and whatnot there is some new stuff on there (some VERY new stuff, i might add….like. VERY new. intriguing and unfamiliar people, places, and things. ahem.) the boards aren’t like 100% polished on there, but i’ve kept this in drafts for like ages now and it’s starting to make me antsy so idgaf i’m posting anyways

talk soon<3 ray

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

THE HUNDRED LINE: LAST DEFENSE ACADEMY - Journal #9: Route 1 - RETSNOM [MASSIVE SPOILERS]

//All journey's have to start somewhere.

//Despite what I'm sure people will say, I really, REALLY enjoyed Route 0. Obviously, it's the one that's most thick with story, which is why I dedicated a whole sequence of journals to that route.

//But that was also before I firmly decided what it is I needed to do with my time, and now that I have the free reign to make the decisions of my own. And as I mentioned previously, my main goal is to just play how I want, and get the routes that I get naturally through the decisions I would make.

//Those decisions led to my first route, the Retsnom Route. Which...in my opinion, might not be the best route to START with, but honestly? I can't say I'm let down.

//I can't confidently claim that I like this route better than I liked the original story sequence before I got to make choices, because it kind of pertains very heavily to one particular character (you can probably tell who by looking at the thumnail image of this journal) but I definitely enjoyed it. I have almost no real qualms with the writing of this route, and I generally think the four endings that come with it are solid.

//But for this entry, I'm mainly going to be talking about the choices I made, and my personal highlights.

//But again...

DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS POST IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED/SEEN THE HUNDRED LINE: LAST DEFENSE ACADEMY. I WILL BE TALKING ABOUT VERY SPECIFIC PLOT POINTS AND MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE GAME.

//So let's get started:

THE SETUP:

//I want to start this route off by explaining the basic premise of it, the choices that I made in the early game, and how the path diverges from the original route. Although, the conflict itself can mainly be boiled down into one main thing, which is...Um...

//...like...a third of the cast dying immediately?

//Okay, to give a more THOROUGH story, where Route 0, AKA Last Defense Academy, leaves off, Takumi uses the power of his new Cryptoglobin to jump back in time to the beginning of the 100 days. And it kicks off with this pretty kickass cutscene.

//So the way that this actually works is instead of just traveling back in time, Takumi transfers his consciousness through time, and then reappears on Day 2 of 100, slotting into his body at that time. When he does, he gains all his memories of the previous 100 days, as well as all his powers.

//HE DID IT, HE BEAT THE ODDS!

//The basic setup for this route lasts between Days 2 and 10, and are very heavily based on the choices you make in the early game. The first of which revolves around confronting and stopping Eito.

//"Oh, Takumi? You're approaching me?" "Yes, I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer!"

//Okay, I'll put the jojokes aside for a moment.

//One thing I noticed about this initial fight and confrontation we have with Eito in the gym where we save Sirei, is that Takumi's powers and abilities that I unlocked in the previous route are retained post-timejump. Which, you know, makes sense seeing as it would be PRETTY annoying if I had to redo all the shit from the ground up.

//And this also applies to everyone else as well. Apparently it's got something to do with Takumi's Hemoanima resonating with everyone else's after he jumped through time, therefore making his allies as powerful as they were by the end of his story in the previous timeline.

//Unfortunately, that includes Eito, but fortunately, he doesn't have the power he had during the final fight here. It still plays that whack-ass music though.

//However, there are two notable changes in Takumi's kit that he unlocked through absorbing the Undying Flames Boy's power; new upgrades that he can utilize.

//The first change is Takumi unlocks another specialist skill. He now gets a boost in power for every ally during a fight that gets downed. Which I guess opens the gate to a whole other strategy if you just suicide dive everyone, then have Takumi go in swinging.

//Especially because of the other change - His new Ultimate.

//Takumi's ultimate move is completely different now, being changed a busted as fuck move called Azure Blitz, with a base power of 10!

//For this game, that's a SHITTON of damage! Most regular attacks without buffs or boosts do between 1 and 3 damage depending on the character. And again, the more dead people there are on the field, the more Takumi can just reap the rewards, because he gains +1 damage for every downed ally on the field.

//It's most likely not going to be the case, since it takes WAY too much effort to make it happen, but with a maximum of 16 playable characters, assuming all of them die, we're looking at a net total of 25 damage in one hit with this move.

//Which is INSANE.

//Again, most likely not gonna happen, since it takes way too much effort and resources, and it's not really optimal in defense battles. But it's still a busted move, even without the buffs. The only downside is it's area isn't as wide as his previous ult was.

//But yeah, it makes pretty quick work of Eito, and with UFB's help, he explains to Eito and Sirei the truth about him jumping back in time, to which the game offers a choice. The first one in the game:

//I'm not sure what really compelled me to go this route, but I figured that sparing Eito was the right call. So the second scenario kicks off with defeating Eito, then locking him up in the couryard's cages.

//Cut to the next day, and we're immediately greeted with the SECOND big early-game choice, which is deciding whether or not to tell everyone about the fact that Takumi came back from the future or not.

//I will say in advance that of all the choices I made in this first route, this is actually the one I regret the most. I'm at the beginning of my second route now, and this decision similarly came back to bite me in the ass as it did in this first one. But I stuck with my guns, and I'm gonna do what I can with these choices as I make them. I deal with the consequences of my actions.

//I'll explain why I regret it in a little bit, because it does relate to both this route, and the next one I will cover.

//Takumi tries to prove the meaning of his words by recounting literally everything that happened to him during his hundred days, with the only detail he spares being about Nozomi and why she's here. Even in another timeline, he's sticking to that promise, and keeping things secret.

//Which I admire. I love Takumi's growing relationship with Nozomi in this game, and I really hoped to see more of it in the coming routes.

//I certainly GOT it in this route, just not in the way that I was expecting. More on that in a bit though.

//The recount ends up taking the entire day though, which I guess makes sense seeing how much there was to cover.

//As I mentioned already, Takumi coming back in time caused everyone's power to be amped up, and over the course of the night, they all felt it. So everyone still has all the upgrades that they had in my previous playthrough.

//This, combined with that, now knowing the true reason why we're fighting, means that unlike in the OG timeline, everyone in the group is now willing to double down and do the deed.

//By which I mean Tsubasa, Gaku, Shouma, Ima, and Kako are joining the squad immediately instead of Takumi having to convince them like he did before.

//Because of his knowledge of the timeline, Takumi is instated as the team's new leader by Sirei.

//Side note: there's a few times during this sequence when Gaku gloats about being the MVP of the team in the original timeline, which is obviously played for laughs, but honestly? It's extremely funny for me personally, seeing that he was kind of the only survivor during my fight with Eito, and got the killing blow on him.

//So in a way, yeah, Gaku is the reason why we all even survived the last time.

//Speaking of Eito, don't you worry guys. Eito may be toxic now, but the gay agenda is back.

//These first couple of days go by pretty normally, so cut to Day 7 when, just like in the original timeline, we confront the first boss, who as a reminder, this is the tutorial guy that we fight twice, that turns into a dragon, runs away on the first day, and then returns today. In the original timeline, this was the day that Eito originally joined us. Now we have everyone else on the field besides Eito, so you'd think that this would be easy, right?

//...Everybody died in this fight except Tsubasa.

//That is NOT a joke. Literally, I had to fucking scum up Tsubasa with power buffs just so she could land the killing blow on this guy, because everybody else on the team got taken out. After the fight, I let her absorb the guy's hemoanima, since she more than earned that kill.

//I have NO IDEA why this fight was so ridiculously difficult! None of the other fights in this route were that hard! But the first Commander just decided he was gonna come back with a vengeance, and we almost got squad wiped!

//I mean, this was to be expected. As much as it feels like New Game +, there's no way you can just go back in time with all the upgrades and stats you got in the OG sequence of events, and expect to blaze through things. Although, to give the game credit, they do explain it pretty well.

//Remember how I mentioned that following his time jump, Takumi's Hemoanima resonated with everyone else, making his allies just as strong as they were at the end of the earlier timeline? Well, as it turns out, that boost applies to EVERY creature that uses Hemoanima, INCLUDING the INVADERS.

//So not only are WE stronger, but so are THEY. That's why this fight ended up being so difficult this time.

//Maybe the reason is because this fight is reserved to only one of the four sides of the school, and because of that, the enemies aren't as spread out and attack more en masse? Who knows? It doesn't matter really, because I've only had to redo this fight once so far.

//See that person there? You might want to remember her. It's gonna be important.

//However, ANOTHER big change with this timeline and the last one is that unlike before, Takumi can now understand the Invader's language.

//In fact, EVERYBODY can! And the same is true vice versa.

//As a reminder, he was able to understand the Invaders language after absorbing V'exhness. And when he jumped back, this power spread to everyone else that had Hemoanima, along with the power boost. Which means communication between sides is now very possible.

//The commander, who's real name is apparently Murvrum, also asks a golden question that, ironically, we asked when we first fought him. He asks why we have the same power he does.

//I guess that's a way of suggesting that Hemoanima is originally the power the Invaders had before it was transfused into us? Assuming we aren't the same species as the Invaders ourselves and were kidnapped and brainwashed, or if we're just humans that were compatible with that power.

//But after we kill Murvrum, the day ends, and the next day, he takes a squad to Second-To-Last Defense Academy to pick up the other team.

//Except...something is VERY wrong.

//In the ORIGINAL timeline, the attack on STLDA happened on Day 10, which resulted in the group almost getting completely wiped, and Moko getting captured and used for the Invader's ends. But for some reason, this attack happened a few days earlier this time, and by the time Takumi and the others show up, it's already too late.

//Moko and Nozomi are nowhere in sight, and to make matters worse, at the exact same time, the main campus is also being attacked by the Invaders. And THIS is where the critical choice that leads to this route happens.

//You have to decide whether you're going to stay back and protect the second campus, and rescue Yugamu, Kyoshika, Kurara, Moko, and Nozomi, or whether you return to the main campus and help out there.

//If you've played this route already, you'll already know which one I ended up picking. I'm not quite sure what compelled me to do so, but in the end, I wanted to see what would happen if I decided to abandon Second-To-Last Defense Academy.

//Realistically speaking, abandoning the second campus is the optimal solution, since it IS just a decoy. And I imagine most people picked to stay behind and save the second campus the first time round, which is why I did the reverse here.

//And with that choice, I am officially on this route.

//Although, considering Takumi's whole reason for coming back to the past, I'm surprised this is a choice we even get to make in the first place. And in the back of my mind, I was convinced that the Second-To-Last Defense Academy group were going to be fine.

//Oh how wrong I was.

//The group do drop by to pick up Nozomi on the way back, which is good, because if the last few fights against V'exhness, Eito, and Murvrum taught me anything, we DESPERATELY need her! And this new game is a new type of beast for real, since these fights don't get any easier.

//The ensuing fight against the next Commander, who's name is apparently Pakron, is the commander who splits herself into three. Annoyingly, when she comes back together in her final fight, it's Tsubasa and Gaku who have to take her down. And while I do remember this boss fight was the one they debut'd in in the original game, they're not exactly the best DPS to be dealing with boss's, so that just made it that much harder.

//This fight was the closest I've ever gotten to losing the point, because the enemies just beat the shit out of the barrier. But after the fight, it's revealed what happened.

//Turns out the hooded figure from earlier was actually V'exhness in disguise, and this is the point where we first learn her name. She lingers in the backline for most of the fight, but when Pakron gets defeated, she leaps in and sucks up her Hemoanima before any of us get the chance to do so.

//Thanks to Takumi coming back in time, V'exhness can understand our language, so she overhead Sirei talking about Takumi's time travel shenanigans. Because of this, she's changed up her original plan of attack so we can't predict her anymore, AND her whole side has been powered up.

//Furthermore, because of the situation changing, V'exhness has decided to foresake her people's taboo's early, and is starting to absorb her own allies and their Hemoanima so she can become the god she believes she is destined to be.

//As a quick side note, one thing that kind of confuses me is that V'exhness tries to justify her acts of cannibalism by pointing out that faith never prevented us from doing it to her people.

//But not only do we not subscribe to the same faith as the Invaders, we (currently at least) aren't the same species, so it's not REALLY cannibalism. Feels like a bit of a narrow justification.

//But after that, things kind of go from bad to worse.

//A lot of these fights against the Commander's happen pretty consecutively in the early story, but by the time we return to Second-To-Last Defense Academy, Kurara, Yugamu, and Kyoshika have already been absorbed by V'exhness. And presumably, so has Moko.

//Takumi obviously didn't know that V'exhness was going to do this, but he DID know about the attack and what would come about as a result of not reacting to it in favor of the academy, yet he didn't tell the others in advance. Obviously, in his mind, this was to protect them, specifically Nozomi, but I didn't really see how that plan WASN'T going to blow up in his face.

//And sure enough, it does. Because of Takumi's unreliability to predict the future, and the things he keeps to himself, it's enough to turn Nozomi, the Tsukumo twins, and Gaku against him.

//A pretty poor start, but shortly after, Takumi finds solace in a surprising place: None other than our girl, Darumi Amemiya.

//One thing that gets brought up early is prior to Takumi and the others getting back to the school in time to defend it, V'exhness almost kills and absorbs Darumi in the same way she did Pakron and the STLDA group. But because Takumi got back in time, Darumi got saved. And as a result, she decides to repay him by trying to help him out of his mood, and make things better for him.

//The plot of this arc revolves largely around Takumi and Darumi trying to find and make use of a creature called Retsnom. The namesake for this route.

//Retsnom is a powerful and enigmatic creature that serves as both the central mystery and the main antagonist of this storyline. It’s a shape-shifting, instinct-driven being whose very nature threatens all life around it.

//What draws the heroes to it is its interesting, but terrifying ability: the power to create a Ruby Tear, a crystalized form of cryptoglobin capable of reviving even permanently dead hemoanima users. And the duo get to hunting it down on a mission to undo the mistakes, and bring the STLDA gang back.

//And yeah, that's the basic premise of this arc. A really solid setup leading into a very solid story.

//I'm obviously not going to recount the WHOLE thing, but I am going to give my main takeaways and highlights and favourite moments from this route. As well as covering my opinions on the endings.

//To start off with though, let's talk about something else:

GAMEPLAY CHANGES & NEW PARTY MEMBERS:

//I kind of touched over these briefly, but there is some new shit to cover in terms of gameplay.

//Going back over a couple things I already covered, the second scenario works very much like a New Game +, in that we start out with all our upgrades and gadgets, but in turn, the enemies, at least the Commanders, are a lot stronger, and there are a lot more of them.

//The social life parts of the game also switch it up, as second scenario adds these things called "Bond Events."

//These are basically Free Time Events. More so than they were at the beginning of the game when you have short scenes of you chilling with the characters and learning what gifts they like.

//By giving characters gifts, you upgrade their bond level, and each character has around 5 scenes that I assume sheds more light on their life before the events of this game, and some lore about them. More than we know, at least.

//This is sort of to give you an excuse to keep giving your friends gifts and hanging out with them even after you've maxed out the stat boost they provide, which I myself have done by now.

//Speaking of which, there is one thing that I advise to everyone, and that's that you shouldn't try to rush these bonding events. All of the stuff, the stat upgrades, the equipment, the bond events themselves, and everything quantifiable DOES carry over across playthroughs. I ended this route, then started my second one, and all the stuff that I'd done during the Retsnom route carried over to there.

//It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, since all of these timelines are clearly designed to be seperate from one another, but it is useful.

//But of course, the biggest difference between this route and the previous one is our new characters.

//I was quite surprised by this route, since for the vast majority of it, you are actually just stuck with the initial group, on account of the students from the second academy...you know...being dead. Nozomi is the only one of them that gets out alive, so it's her, Takumi, Takemaru, Hiruko, Darumi (at least at the beginning), Ima, Kako, Shouma, Tsubasa, Gaku, and partway through the story, Eito, who is brought back in when the going starts to get tough, and we don't have enough fighters on the field.

//I honestly did forget how much of a God Hiruko was in some of these fights. The only downside is she doesn't move very far, but if you put her to work in a group of bigger enemies, she can just stack fucking damage upon damage, and she is the saving grace for these fights. Especially since we don't get to use Kyoshika for the majority of it.

//But partway through the story, we get a familiar face on the squad. The Commander who in the previous timeline we took prisoner before Eito ultimately found and killed her.

//I mentioned this before, but the prisoner's name is Eva. And a few days after she's captured, Sirei does something to her, presumably lobotomy, which wipes her brain, and makes her our slave basically.

//What it ACTUALLY makes her is our next party member!

//I did predict a while back that the prisoner might end up joining our team, because it felt right? I did always think it was weird that we only had 15 students when the typical band of merry misfits in these games is around 16.

//Granted, UFB is actually the 16th student at the school, but he's not a party member, and I don't really see how he could be.

//But hey, better late than never.

//I've seen a lot of people be really off-put by Eva in these routes where she gets brainwashed by Sirei. And yeah, I do get it. It is kind of fucked up, and I remember there were a LOT of people who really grew to dislike Mukuro for doing something similar to Chisa in Danganronpa 3.

//Let me just give my piece on it, if you'll let me.

//Sirei is clearly no Monokuma. While Monokuma was an overtly malicious figure who relished tormenting students and manipulating their memories, Sirei comes across as more straightforward and transparent. Despite his abrasive personality, he's surprisingly fair, quick to offer both praise and punishment, and he's actually willing to listen to criticism.

//That said, Sirei is FAR from being a hero. Even though he is more ambiguously evil, he is still the third most evil character in this game behind only V'exhness and Eito. He urges a teenager to stab himself and become a child soldier, casually uses phrases like “genocide party” in his speeches, and kidnaps over a dozen kids within the game’s FIRST HOUR!

//From my perspective, Sirei is dead set on winning the war by whatever means necessary. If that includes lobotomy, so be it, as long as it serves the end goal.

//It's a morally grim stance that makes him detestable, but narratively, it works. It doesn't contradict anything we've already learned about Sirei or the human side he represents.

//I mean, I can't complain regardless. We're low on teammates and...Eva's hot!

//Eva is also one of the most fun characters to play in this game, because she actually nets some BRILLIANT damage, and can cause status effects like bleed in a wide area.

//During battle, she wears the Artificial Class Armour like Nozomi does; so she doesn't use her full Hemoanima abilities and transform into her titan form. And it's a pretty good look for her honestly.

//Similar to Kako, Eva is a long-range damage dealer capable of striking enemies from unusual angles.

//However, UNLIKE Kako, who's whole gimmick is her attack is multiplied if she doesn't move, Eva's attacks grow stronger the MORE she moves, motivating her to stay on the move to fully capitalize on her extended range.

//As much as I do love Kako and as much as I like that she's a powerhouse, the fact that she gets weaker when she moves around, as well as the fact that all of her attacks debuff her, requiring you to either waste AP healing her with Nozomi, her kit has far too many drawbacks to be quantifiably good. But Eva doesn't have that problem. Really, my only qualm with her kit is that her attack range with all her abilities is a little awkward.

//She has one move that hits enemies around her in a square, but the corners of the square are cut. She also needs to be a whole two spaces away from an enemy to hit with her vertical attack.

//But she's genuinely a great party member and a really fun character to use.

//Also, in one of the endings of this route, the final fight has us using all 16 playable characters in this game after the STLDA team are brought back to life. This includes Moko, who I get to use for the first time.

//Moko is...Well...uh...

//I've had more of a chance to use her, but first and foremost, this was a REALLY bad first fight for her to have, lmao.

//I think the game kind of expects you to save Second-To-Last Defense Academy the first time you play, and have THAT fight be the first time you get to use Moko. But no, I did it this way, and the first time I used her was the LITERAL FINAL BOSS of the run! With NO UPGRADES and only ONE move, XD.

//Moko is not a BAD character. She hits pretty hard, and her kit is pretty decent...it's just not the best. The best way I can describe her is she plays very similarly to Shouma, only that she sacrifices his protective abilities for the boon of not becoming stunned every time she attacks.

//Her specialist skill gives her +1 Attack for every hit she took during the previous enemy turn. Shouma's does the same, except he's also immune to status effects other than fatigue and stun. 

//I think the issue is she relies too heavily on abilities and trops that the other characters do better. Hiruko and Kyoshika both do better DPS than she does, Shouma is a better tank who can do everything she can but better, with the exception of being able to attack more than once every other turn, and her third ability is a powerful move that does a lot of damage, especially with stacks, but stuns her the turn after. Which is something I have never taken kindly to in this game.

//A real shame honestly. Moko is fun, but she's not super useful.

CHARACTER ARCS:

//If there's one thing that this route did right, it's that a lot of the characters did get some real good progression in this route. I spent a lot of the early game, roughly up to Day 38, being annoyed at how much of a hard time they were giving Takumi, but as much as I look out for my boy, he did kind of deserve it.

//Speaking of Takumi, off rip, he is one of the best characters in this arc.

//Considering how much distance he puts between himself and his peers in this, it's good to see Takumi's growth be fostered through the limited interactions he gets, and the way Darumi pushes him along to do that growth is great.

//At the start of this route, Takumi is weighed down by guilt and pressure, having made difficult decisions in the past. One of his early admissions is that his desire to protect Nozomi overpowered his better judgment, leading to the deaths of the STLDA students. He doesn’t blame her for hating him because, in his eyes, he failed them.

//As the route progresses, Takumi slowly regains the trust of the group, especially Nozomi’s. He repeatedly tries to sacrifice himself in an effort to atone, though Darumi prevents him each time. By the end, Takumi emerges as a more compassionate and responsible person, and it feels truly earned.

//Like, I would argue that even the BAD ENDINGS in this route reinforce the weight of his guilt and the strength it took to move beyond it, making his arc feel meaningful.

//And Nozomi Kirifuji, once again, proves she might just be the perfect human being.

//As I mentioned before, throughout this route, the group frequently questions Takumi’s leadership, even though they mostly stand by him. Still, his attempts to warn them about future events fall flat, sinec they either ignore him or shut him down outright.

//In their eyes, the fact that he's willing to withhold information from them about the future, and use it to manipulate them, means that they can't take what he says about it seriously. Only a few members of the group, mainly Takemaru and Tsubasa, are willing to call the situation out for what it is: hypocrisy.

//While Takumi did lie, he ultimately just wanted to save everyone, and DID so. And yet Ima, Kako, and Gaku in particular are just really ungrateful for it.

//That isn't to say that what Takumi did was good, but the guy is not an asshole. He just wants to help. He's just a misguided human being like anyone else.

//Anway, later, when Nozomi begins to experience rejection symptoms, Takumi initially tries to leave the responsibility of helping her to Darumi, but Darumi refuses, pushing Takumi to face the situation.

//The resulting heart-to-heart is one of the best scenes in the route, and I would argue the whole GAME so far.

//Nozomi forgives Takumi, while still acknowledging he was wrong to hide things, but also takes on part of the blame for how things turned out. She realizes he made his choices with a clear conscience, guided by a desire to protect the greater good. Something she herself deeply values.

T//akumi would have saved everyone if it had been possible, and Nozomi comes to understand that. She admits she lashed out in grief, needing someone to blame, even though she knew deep down that it wasn’t fair.

//Nozomi's capacity for faith in others is part of what makes her such an amazing and wonderful character to me. She takes on the burden of conflict and always tries to mend what’s broken.

//She really is incredible, and it’s a sweet touch that a few days later, she and Takumi are working together to recreate Kurara’s curry.

//Another standout in this route is Eito, because of fucking course he is.

//He starts off as a divisive character, and whether you choose to spare or kill him has major consequences. But in this route, the group is eventually forced to bring him back into the fold due to growing threats and dwindling numbers.

//Not only are we immediately four characters down, but partway through the route, Darumi has to drop out of the team for health reasons. Which leads to both Eito and Eva being taken onto the team to fill out those lost numbers.

//Surprisingly, Eito becomes an unexpected hero after the others finally learn about Retsnom. Which is something Takumi kept hidden from everyone for most of the story.

//And while you'd think that this was a bad move considering Takumi already got in trouble early on for hiding information, he did so here fearing that Sirei would act rashly, possibly even killing Darumi, before understanding the full picture.

//And that’s exactly what happens. But this time, Eito intervenes and kills Sirei, sacrificing himself in the process. However, unlike before, he’s not registered in the revival machine, so he dies permanently, at least until Darumi brings him back later.

//I was shocked by how much I ended up caring. Initially, I dismissed Eito as a selfish villain, and while his motivations were never entirely pure, his final sacrifice felt genuine. It was especially ironic, where I once hated him for killing Sirei in a previous route, I found myself rooting for him to do it here.

//As for the rest of the cast, including the new addition of Eva, they don’t have MUCH to do in this particular route. Like I said, Gaku and the Tsukumo's serve as a source of conflict alongside Nozomi for a little while, but even that is pretty short-lived.

//But that feels intentional, especially with Eva, who kind of feels a little oout of place. I’m sure other routes where she joins the team will give her more time to shine.

//However, in case I didn't drive it home enough by this point, there is ONE character who absolutely stands out in this route more than ANY of the others. So much so that I've seen people say this is HER route, to which I agree. So much so, that I'm gonna cover her in her own section.

DARUMI AMEMIYA:

//As you guys might remember, I have briefly noted before that one of my biggest issues with Darumi is how while I DO think she's a very fun and entertaining character, she's the one character in the cast who feels like she's kind of given nothing to do.

//Most of her lines in the game are just her getting excited over the prospect of having a real life Killing Game, to the point that it's basically her V3 catchphrase. The one line she says that her whole personality is based around.

//The Retsnom route changes ALL of that!

//It would be a disservice to say that Darumi is the deutragonist of this route, since she's kind of more like the MAIN CHARACTER, with TAKUMI being the side guy.

//Especially because this route goes a lot deeper into her backstory, and reveals something surprising.

//Kodaka has created these types of characters before, which in slang are usually referred to as "Woobie's." A "woobie" is a name for any type of character who makes you feel extremely sorry for them, especially through abuse, neglect, or emotional torment.

//The best examples I can provide are Toko Fukawa, and Mikan Tsumiki. The latter of which is an ESPECIALLY bad case, since she's been abused by basically EVERYBODY in her life, in every way imagineable.

//Shockingly, it turns out that Darumi isn't too dissimilar to Mikan in this regard!

//And what makes this doubly shocking is that in the Retsnom route, Darumi has a serious private conversation with Takumi where she admits that her outrageous, unhinged persona is ENTIRELY INTENTIONAL.

//She DELIBERATELY plays the part of an unlikable, chaotic figure so the group can have someone they can hate, whose death wouldn’t hurt as much. Having grown up bullied and isolated, she’s long since accepted this role without hesitation.

//(If the early stages of this next route are anything to go by, this is completely and utterly untrue regardless, but we'll get there when we get there.)

//To give a couple of examples of some of the things she suffered, her father, a compulsive gambler, would beat her whenever he lost money on horse races and made her sleep outside in a doghouse. Her mother wasn’t much better, at one point forcing Darumi to eat cat food, and eventually abandoned the family for a more attractive man.

//It’s also implied in the original Route 0 that Darumi has a brother who treats her with the same kind of cruelty and neglect.

//Despite her bizarre interests and bitterness toward joyful people, she’s fully aware of how strange and off-putting she is. In her eyes, it’s better for people to avoid her or use her as a punching bag than to get close and risk getting hurt.

//But in this route, she lets her guard down and admits that, for all her bravado, she’s just as afraid of dying as everyone else. When Takumi saves her, she thanks him genuinely, and from that point on, forms a strong bond with him.

//Darumi becomes deeply attached to Takumi for showing her a kindness she isn’t used to receiving. He’s the only person she trusts enough to show her real, caring self. She offers him heartfelt advice, supports him emotionally, and even absorbs a whole ass monster into herself so that he wouldn’t have to shoulder the burden and pain that comes with the cohabitation of said monster.

//Like, maybe I'm fucking crazy, but this is SO SIMILAR to MIKAN, isn't it?

Both characters accept being scapegoats or emotional punching bags, believing it's their only value in a group dynamic.

Their past traumas instill in them a warped view of relationships, where pain and affection become inseparably intertwined.

Both put up false fronts, whether through loud chaos or quiet desperation, as a defense mechanism, born of survival rather than deception.

The moment someone treats them with basic decency, they latch onto that person, often forming extreme emotional bonds because it’s something they’ve never had (Takumi for Darumi, and presumably Junko for Mikan.)

either is oblivious to how they're perceived, they consciously choose (or resign themselves to) those roles as a form of control over how they’re treated.

//In short, both Darumi and Mikan are pretty tragic. They’ve been through a lot, and it shows in how they act around others. They both really crave love and connection, but they hide it behind the roles they play to avoid getting hurt.

//The big difference is in how they come across. Darumi is more self-aware and dramatic, almost like she’s trying to protect others by keeping her distance, while Mikan’s story leans more into toxic dependence and being manipulated by people she trusted.

//One of the absolute best and most standout scenes from this route has to be the initial scene that happens before Takumi goes to make up with Nozomi, where Darumi pushes him into doing so.

//Takumi asks Darumi to convince Nozomi to come with them to attack the enemy base, fearing Nozomi will reject the idea if it comes from him. Darumi refuses, pointing out that this isn’t just about saving Nozomi, but that it’s also about Takumi wanting to mend their relationship.

//She challenges him to stop assuming how Nozomi feels and encourages him to speak to her directly, emphasizing that while no one can truly know what other people are thinking, Takumi at least knows how he humself feels, and if he wants to reconcile, he has to act on that.

//She refuses to be his go-between, insisting he take the chance himself to make things right. Which then leads the scene with Nozomi that I already described above.

//This is the standout moment that comes full circle during Ending 50, which is the supposed "good ending" of this route.

//Darumi serves as a consistent source of levity and support throughout most of this route. She remains loyal to Takumi even when the rest of the group turns against him. At that point in the story, it felt like the game was signaling that this had to be Darumi’s own route, but honestly, it’s handled really well.

//Also, what's funny is that I've gone this far talking about the Retsnom Route without talking about Retsnom itself. I think we can fix that now.

//One of the most creative ways that Darumi's character is handled in this story is how it kind of ties back to Retsnom itself.

//Because despite being portrayed as a mindless, carnivourous monster, which we do get to see in some routes, Retsnom weirdly resembles and relates to Darumi in a lot of ways.

//I didn’t catch this until well after I finished the route, but "Retsnom" is "Monster" spelled backward, which is a subtle way of hiding its true meaning.

//Then there’s the initial choice in this route. The Retsnom Route, compared to some of the other routes in this game, is pretty streamlined, and only has a few decision making moments in it. One in the middle, and another near the end. The one in the middle is the choice to either release Retsnom or put it into someone's body.

//If you choose to release it, you die no matter what. Whether you try to calm it or fight it, Retsnom kills you, either immediately or after knocking you out.

//These outcomes drive home the idea that Retsnom is, fundamentally, a monster, something you’re not meant to interact with or understand.

//But when you choose to implant it into someone, that someone ends up being Darumi, and throughout the route, we see how hosting Retsnom changes her physically and emotionally. She starts eating more to sustain it, and her body begins to transform into something no longer human. Alongside this, she opens up to Takumi, revealing all the stuff that we discussed already.

//Again, a central theme of the Retsnom route and Darumi's character arc in it is you never really know what anyone else is thinking.

//And what drives this point home is the endings. So...let's talk about those, since they're probably what you came here to see.

THE ENDINGS (#49-#52):

//Let's backtrack a little bit and cover the endings I just talked about before we go onto the "proper" endings.

As mentioned earlier, both Ending 51 and Ending 52, the outcomes where you choose to revive Retsnom in its original form without implanting it into a host, end in total disaster.

051: Retsnom Route: It’s All Your Fault:

//Ending 51 unfolds in a slow, tragic way. After reviving Retsnom, the creature goes on a rampage, killing and devouring everyone at Last Defense Academy. It knocks out both Takumi and Darumi but leaves them alive long enough to feel the weight of their failure.

//Realizing what's coming, Darumi begs Takumi to kill her before Retsnom gets the chance, preferring death on her own terms. She also urges him to place all the blame on her so that he can die without guilt.

//Takumi tearfully complies, his final words being, "It’s all your fault," the very name of the ending itself.

//I like this ending, as shitty as it is. It's a somber and poignant farewell that emphasizes the terrible nature of their choice and the strong, albeit twisted, bond between the two characters.

052: Retsnom Route: Too Late For Regrets

//This one is...NOT that.

//Ending 52, on the other hand, is brutally short and hopeless. Retsnom wastes no time. It immediately kills both Takumi and Darumi without hesitation, leaving no room for reflection, redemption, or closure.

//It's the most straightforward “bad end” of the route, offering only despair and the harshest consequence of choosing to unleash a pure, uncontained monster.

//Both of these endings serve as harsh lessons. Retsnom, as a raw entity, represents something too chaotic and dangerous to exist without containment or transformation. By choosing not to anchor it to a human form—by refusing to take responsibility through connection—you’re effectively releasing destruction for the sake of convenience or fear.

//And I like it because these endings reinforce the central message of the route: ignoring the complexity of a person (or a monster) and refusing to engage with it meaningfully leads to ruin.

//Or that's how I think of it at least...But I think it's a bit clearer when you decide to put Retsnom in a body and see how things plan out.

049: Retsnom Route: We Are One:

//Eventually, Retsnom completely consumes Darumi. She essentially dies, but only Takumi realizes something’s wrong. The new "Darumi" never drops her mask again, acting like the same chaotic persona she used to be, but it rings pretty hollow.

//Later, after Eito is revived the truth about his return is revealed. While the goal of the mission was for Darumi to make a Ruby Tear and revive the STLDA group, she was able to find an alternative method, which involved taking a chunk of a deceased person's flesh and consuming it to create a fully sentient clone of them.

//Which...is FUNNILY ENOUGH kind of how it works in SURVIVOR!

//So as you can imagine, I personally did not see the issue with this route until I finished it. But when you confront Darumi, or rather, Retsnom, you're given a final choice: accept or reject Darumi.

//If you accept her, you’re accepting the imitation—the Retsnom version—as the real Darumi. After that, Darumi consumes Takumi, then consumes everyone else, and everyone becomes a Retsnom, communication is perfect, and it looks like a happy ending.

//And this ending was awesome because this, so far at least, is the only time in the game where you get to fight with the WHOLE PARTY!

//As I said already, this was the first time I used Moko, but in this final fight, the whole gang are on the field: Takumi, Darumi, Nozomi, Eito, Takemaru, Hiruko, Shouma, Kako, Ima, Gaku, Tsubasa, Kurara, Yugamu, Kyoshika, Moko, and Eva. ALL of them are in the fight!

//And it was SICK!

//But deep down, it’s still kinda fake. It only feels good if you believe appearances and surface traits define a person, ignoring their complexity and depth.

//What makes it even more foreboding is Darumi does this absorbtion to V'exhness and the Invaders as well, and supposedly, plans on doing the same to the people on the Arteficial Satellite.

//But what's so confusing about this is that it feels weirdly...peaceful.

//Even if we assume that Retsnom has replaced Darumi, it doesn't seem to have any ill intentions. Despite the monster that it's played up to be, and that we've SEEN it become, the clones don't seem to be too fundamentally different from how they were originally.

//Honestly, I think the point of this ending is that it's meant to feel like a hollow, but also kind of perfect conclusion. Everyone comes back to life, they win the war, and Darumi even sort of confesses her love to Takumi for the first time.

//Setting aside all the chaos with Retsnom, this ending gives the cast a well-earned happily ever after.

//This was my first ever ending to the game that I got, and it's one that I will remember fondly.

//BUUUUUUUUUT...

050: Retsnom Route: How Darumi Felt

//If you reject her, you’re acknowledging that Darumi’s essence is gone. The creature in her place only LOOKS like her.

//Takumi tries to destroy Retsnom, even at the cost of his own life, letting UFB burn him up, and suicide dive both Retsnom Darumi, and the fake Eito copy she made. But he manages to survive thanks to a Ruby Tear Darumi left behind.

//Said Ruby Tear also revives Kurara, Kyoshika, Yugamu, and Moko. Thus completing the mission that Takumi and Darumi set out to do.

//Whether her final actions were driven by lingering humanity or the hope you'd end it all, it's clear she didn't want to live on as a fake.

//I didn't mention this, but it's revealed in the story that the Retsnom we end up getting is the last of it's kind, and the reason why is because all the other Retsnom killed themselves. This is because Retsnom is a creature that, once it realizes it has a conscience, and burdened by the weight of the power it carries, wants to die once it realizes it's not real.

//And what kind of drives this whole ending home is the fact that the Ruby Tear was still made in the end, even though Retsnom had no reason to make it, gives this idea that maybe Retsnom wasn't pretending to be Darumi, but the other way around.

//The story intentionally leaves it ambiguous whether the entity inhabiting Darumi’s body is still truly her, a Retsnom fully wearing her like a disguise, or some unsettling combination of the two.

//By the end of the route, it’s impossible to tell exactly where Darumi ends and Retsnom begins. While her behavior becomes noticeably off, enough that even Takumi quickly senses something is wrong, there are still signs of her true self beneath the surface.

//He wonders if her strange actions were all part of a ploy to push him into ending her life. Especially considering Darumi employs similar tactics to trick Takumi and get him to do what she wants through most of this story.

//Though he ultimately chooses to believe in Darumi’s true self, he can’t fully resolve whether it was really her, the Retsnom, or both at once.

//What I love is this ending embraces the idea that you can never fully understand someone, just like Darumi said, and that true identity runs deeper than surface-level impressions. It suggests that a person is more than either their outer mask or inner self alone. They’re shaped by both, in complex ways.

HIGHLIGHTS AND BEST MOMENTS:

//Before I break down my final thoughts on this route, because I wasn't able to talk about all of them, I have a decent list of all the moments in this route that really stood out to me. Some funny, some interesting lore bits, it kind of depends. I've already talked about a few of them, but here were my general highlights:

Out of curiosity, I went to greet Eito in his cage, and every time you do, he always greets you by saying "Hey Takumi! Looking ugly as always I see!" Which does get a good giggle out of me.

Sirei progressively becomes more and more untrustworthy. Again, he's not a "villain" per se, but he's definitely not a hero. And even before the Retsnom Route kicks in, he's already making plans of how to deal with Takumi should things get out of hand.

The fights are so insanely hard now. It's taking a lot to get used to.

During the Free Time events, where I was hanging out with the other students, I got to see Hiruko and Eva in swimwear. Nice~

Day 15 had me fighting two commanders at once. Not ideal when the group is being so difficult. The two commanders were Valla-Garzo and Szanshin, who respectively are the bullheaded cannon one that in the original timeline, Nozomi absorbed to heal herself, and the worm one that absorbed Ima and tunneled through the school. During the fight, they ended up fusing together into one bigger monster, and after they were defeated, it's revealed that they were a couple and had a child waiting for them at home. I honestly feel bad for the Invaders, because I'm past the point of believing they were made by World Death. They clearly have their own families back home they want to protect, and I think something similar goes on with Eva, based on the way she reacts to things in this story.

It really annoys me that every time we defeat a Commander, we're too slow to absorb them, because almost every time without fail, V'exhness shows up to absorb them. I doubt much will change with the other timelines, honestly.

Why does that look like a cock!? ^^^

On Day 20, when out looking for Retsnom, Takumi and Darumi ran into a pair of people who looked to be wearing some kind of scuba gear. They chased them, but ultimately, the story concluded without giving any indication as to who or what they were. I'm hoping that the other routes will explain it.

I mentioned before that I wasn't a fan of Ima's playstyle, but after getting to use him for like...more than TWO FIGHTS, I take that back. When kako is on low health, he is a MONSTER! He can move really far, and deals a shitton of damage! Unfortunately, he still doesn't help too much in Eva's boss fight, which is more annoying than in the original playthrough. Just fuck off with the mist!

According to Eva, the Invaders hate fighting almost as much as we do. When Takumi told her that he and the other SDU members were just trying to survive, she clammed up. Unfortunately, we don't get much information, but it's better than nothing.

Outside of this, doing Eva's Free Time events were great, and I really like her now. Takumi is so gentle with her, it warms my heart.

Ima, Kako, and Gaku really annoyed me in this part, even though I did understand their reasoning for keeping Takumi at arm's length. I just don't like that they were giving him shit for keeping to himself, when they're the one's that were actively pushing him away, not wanting to talk to him. That's not how it fucking works, you hypocrites.

Reading the books in the library revealed that well known sports like Football (Soccer for my American friends) are dying out due to the liminal space in the TRC. Very interesting.

HAHAHAHAHA SEEEEEEXX!

Real talk, if there was one disappointing thing about not having Sirei around, it's that I missed listening to his banger of a theme song.

I don't know if I drove it home enough, but I was actually all about Takumi and Darumi's relationship this route. Feel free to see it for whatever you wish, but I think the care that they grew to have for each other, even after Darumi got Retsnomified where it persisted, was great.

On Day 38, during the segment where we're trying to find the enemy base to cure Nozomi's rejection symptoms, I would have loved it if the pixel cutscene that shows the bus changed because Darumi was driving it. Like if it jumped up and down or flew around the screen for whatever reason.

Last Yell + Power Boost + Hiruko = Defeating the blimp Commander (Quenzelle) in one turn.

As annoying as the oppression against Takumi was, the scene where they make up with him over the curry is great.

I remember getting really scared this route because I didn't want Darumi to die. When she started eating books, that really confused the fuck out of me.

This might be the funniest joke in the game so far. Poor Tsubasa.

On Day 47, I had to fight the Idol Commander (Turamtammi) and the Time Rewind Commander (Nyewgank), which you can imagine, made me wanna slit my dick. These two are the most obnoxious boss fights in the base game, and fighting them together was something I was so scared of. But when I actually did fight them, it turned out to not be that difficult. Nyewgank is the bigger issue, and he went down in one turn because he doesn't have that much health.

A bonding event with Hiruko explains taht she actually likes fighting because it means she doesn't have to pretend to be so stuck up all the time. Whenever she gushes over murdering Invaders, that's kind of just her being herself, while putting on a cold front usually.

What's really annoying about raising social stats in this game is having half the main cast missing from this route means raising those stats are insanely more difficult than they should be.

I don't know if this is the case; please don't spoil me if there is; but there has to be a route in this game that focuses more on Eva. Because she's been a background character for most of this one.

On Day 57, Eito mentions that "It's been a while since I last fought Invaders." Eito never fought Invaders in this continuity besides the fight on the TRC. Is that what he meant, because that wasn't really a fight?

The fight on Day 57 is the first battle which doesn't have a commander. Turns out V'exhness absorbed them all off screen, but imagine how befuddled I was before the fact.

Baby girl, baby!

Evil...!

A third of the way through the route, the Invaders start talking english again and bitching about how they don't want to fight. It's still so fucking annoying. I actually turned the voices off for the fight at first, but it felt awkward, so I switched it back on shortly after. I'll just have to get used to this honestly.

I was genuinely SO GUTTED that Day 69 wasn't a special "badass" day in this rerun. Honestly, the very least they could have done was replay the rock music. By the way, speaking of which, on English, the number 69 is often laughed at because it's associated with a sex position, but that specific joke doesn’t translate in this case. The original "Day 69" joke relies on Japanese wordplay: the numbers 6 (roku) and 9 (ku) combine to sound like "rokku," which is how "rock" (as in rock 'n' roll) is pronounced in Japanese. So the joke is a pun on "rock music," not the sexual meaning it might imply in English, which is also why the daily life music is changed to be a rock remix of it. S++++ translation fella's!

The way that Retsnom gets revealed to the others is pretty stellar. Darumi coming to save Takumi and company when V'exhness ambushes them. Although, I was a bit confused why Darumi attempted to go the heel-face turn route if she was just gonna poison V'ehxness anyway. Why choose that as her means of stalling for time?

Darumi's body progressively gets more and more monstrous as the game progresses, largely her arm kind of turning into a pink symbiote sort of thing. But this doesn't reflect in her sprites, even when the whole thing is consumed. Whoops.

I kind of said it already, but the whole scene where Eito stops Sirei from blowing Darumi up was pretty fantastic. Because Darumi lost her humanity, Eito's disorder was not affected by her, therefore, he got to see her true face, and found her very beautiful. Eito having feelings for Darumi was not on my bingo card, but fuck, I'll take it.

I know I complained about the fights being too hard, but I'm really just talking about the early fights. When the Commanders stop showing up, they get way too fucking easy. Event though the fight on Day 72 is something Takumi claims they "got through by the skin of their teeth," that's total bullshit.

Alright, but why was this actually so cute!? This is such a silly wholesome moment, and Sarah Pitard's delivery only emphasizes it as such.

Speaking of which, Sarah Pitard, how are you real? You did such a phenomenal job as Darumi, not just in this route, but in this whole game. You're awesome and deserve the world.

I had another bodning event with Nozomi. I now headcanon that she likes eggs in the same way Akechi likes pancakes. She just won't stop talking about eggs.

Gaku's hobby is apparently celebrating people's birthday's?

Again, what is Darumi with the weirdly funny sex jokes?

On Day 85, I'm a little curious why Nozomi thinks getting Darumi to read books will help her in any way. She's probably just going to eat them.

On Day 87, the game goes and introduces a whole new enemy that we've never even met before: Dahl'xia, the commander of Squad Zero. He's basically the exact same transformation as Murvrum, the first boss, but his Hemoanima is golden. He's also indescructible in this initial fight with him.

Darumi transforming into a giant lump of flesh on Day 88 scared ths shit out of me. I thought she was already long gone by then.

The eventual boss fight with Dahl'xia is interesting. In Round 1, you need to trick him into hitting the poison trap, and in Round 2, it takes him out of the fight entirely, meaning you have to wipe out his goons. And then in the last round, I absolutely DOGGED on him. I surrounded him with explosives, had Last Yell on everybody, and then just let Takumi and Eito go to town on him.

Dahl'xia mentions that both sides of the war are fighting for the same thing: the survival of their respective species.

The final battle against V'exhness was so cathartic, having everybody in the squad on the field against her while she was helpless to stop us, and then having Darumi absorb her at the end of the fight. I am a little upset that UFB ended up suiciding with his final attack, and again, I can't think of a worse fight for Moko to debut in.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

//This route is a reflection on identity. How we present ourselves, how others perceive us, and what truly defines a person.

//A "monster" symbolizes the raw, unfiltered self: strange, maybe even unpleasant. Only through a facade does that self become manageable, but the facade and the self inevitably influence one another. Judging someone only by what’s on the surface or only by what’s hidden leads to a warped understanding, and true recognition lies in seeing both.

//Darumi, especially in this route, is a character built on layers of concealment. And while her true self may not be wholly likable, it’s still a vital part of who she is. She’s both the playful chaos of "it’s killing game time" and the deeply broken, hidden person beneath.

//Of the four endings that came about from this route, I think Ending 49 was my favourite: the one where Darumi absorbed everyone and brought everyone back using Retsnom. Ill tidings are on the horizon for sure, but at the same time, I'm happy that all the effort that Takumi and Darumi put in paid off, and that they can be happy together.

//Again, they might be clones, but it's not like they don't remember the experiences they went through. Everything that happened was for real. This is literally a different version of the Danganronpa V3 final debate about fiction versus reality.

//That said, Ending 50, the supposed "true" ending of this route was similarly cathartic.

//Takumi choosing to sacrifice himself out of guilt to finally end the mess he believes he made helped his character come full circle. And it was both wholesome and heartbreaking that even after Takumi rejected Darumi and tried to kill her, she still made the Ruby Tear to bring him and the STLDA group back to life.

//In general, I'm so glad this was my first route, even if it shouldn't have been, because it's so sad and brilliant all the way through. It did an amazing job at making me love Darumi for more than just the silly gal we already love her for.

//Girl officially earned that S-Rank on my Tier List now.

//Speaking of which, as I'm going through these routes, I'm going to be making a tier list of my opinions, which are subject to change at any time. I can't say confidently that I like the Retsnom Route more than I like Route 0 yet, because of how much of an impact that one left on me, but hey, it's close!

//I'm already in my next route, and things have already massively changed from the original story. Can't wait to see where things go from there.

-Mod

[zorosangell]

⛥ﾟ・。 protector: chapter twenty-six

synopsis: " you were supposed to stay a crewate, just another back to watch, " he tightened his hold, " i didn't even notice the change until i woke up one day and realized i'd take a bullet for you "

cw: violence, gore, fighting, mature themes, profanity, MAJOR/MINOR ANIME SPOILERS, follows the plot of the anime, slowww burn.

a/n: reposting from another account

If things went from bad to worse during the argument, then things went from worse to shit during the fight.

Usopp challenged Luffy to a duel for the Merry, which, of course, ended in his defeat.

Though Luffy let him keep the ship anyway.

But beyond that, the crew had gotten word that Robin was the prime suspect for the attempted murder of the mayor.

And now the whole town was after, not only her, but the entire crew.

Sanji and Chopper had ran into her while in town, but she started talking about a situation getting worse and never seeing the crew again before disappearing.

So Zoro devised a plan to capture her during her second attempt on the mayor, hoping to get some answers.

But with Usopp gone and Sanji nowhere to be found, you, Zoro, Nami, Chopper, and Luffy, knew that you would have to go at it on your own.

And as the five of you perched in a large tree outside the mayor's mansion, you couldn't help noticing the looming sense of doom in the air.

Aqua Laguna would not be the only storm coming that night...

"There sure are a lot of people out there," Chopper reported, looking down at the lawn through his binoculars.

"It's a little far, too," Luffy agreed.

"It'll be fine if you rocket through the window, right? After Robin shows up, I mean," Nami asked.

"That's right. If we make a commotion first then they'll just sneak in while we're dealing with the guards," Zoro stated, leaning against the trunk of the tree, "Let's be patient."

You sat yourself a little ways off to the side, criss-crossed, with your eyes peacefully shut, trying to meditate some clarity into the situation.

This overbearing sense of disaster had been following you ever since Usopp left the crew. 

And before your little display clairvoyance on Skypiea, you had never been so fined tuned with auras like you were now.

The fluctuations and shifts, all dependent on where you were and who you were with.

It was too much for your one head.

And being able to sense impending doom, while not knowing how, when, where, or why it was coming, is a power you wouldn't wish on your greatest enemy.

But luckily, your swordsman noticed your distress, resting a hand on your shoulder to snap you out of it.

"You alright?" he asked, voice low so he didn't alert the others.

Your mind was off somewhere else, thinking, quite intently if he took the tightness of your face as any hint.

But being distracted like that, especially with your lives on the line, would be a death sentence.

"We need that head down here."

An easy guess would be it was about your powers, and how you could be doing more to help.

But there was no time to pry, so a guess is what it would have to stay.

You spared him a small smile of thanks, giving a firm nod and focusing back on the task at hand.

'She didn't answer my question...'

But the sounds of shouts from below pulled him away from his thoughts before he could act on them.

"Sounds like something's going on down there," he stated, turning to Chopper, "Whaddya see?"

"They're all kinda standing around now. But..." Chopper sighed, pulling the binoculars away from his face, "they're all huge, and armed, and angry."

"We need to be careful. Those guys have a reputation for being able to handle themselves when push comes to shove. We don't wanna rush in and do anything we're gonna regret later," Nami reminded.

"Yeah, if we try to barge in swingin', we'll just be askin' for trouble," Luffy agreed.

"Says the guy who charged-in in broad daylight..." you scoffed.

"Anyway, don't take your eyes off 'em, Chopper," Zoro instructed, eyes trained on the lawn, "We don't want any kind of surprise down there."

"Right."

"Anything happens, you let us know."

"Okay, you got it."

"I think we're gonna have a really long night ahead of us," Zoro sighed, "But if we blow our opportunity, it's over. We can't let our guard down no matter what happens."

Silence fell over the air, and the wind's sorrow filled wail was only a hint of foreshadowing to the night ahead.

"If we wanna know the truth about Robin, then it has to be tonight, or never."

"Yeah," Luffy agreed, his tone low, "I got a feeling we'll be talking to her real soon."

And as if on cue, a huge explosion went off right on the lawn, blowing most of the carpenters away.

"Whoa! Something blew up!" Chopper exclaimed.

"Yeah, no kidding..." You winced.

An entire section of the house was now on fire, and the workers were buzzing like bees around a hive trying to put it out.

"They all seem pretty worked up," Chopper noted, a little nervous.

"Yeah. There is definitely something going on right now," Zoro stated, eyes scanning over the destruction, "Alright, then. When are we gonna make our move?"

You and Chopper turned to where Luffy once was, only for him to be nowhere in sight.

'For the love of God...'

"Hey, where's Luffy?" Chopper asked.

Zoro and Nami quickly whipped their heads over, eyes going impossibly wide at the captain's absence.

"THAT IDIOT! WHAT ABOUT THE PLAN?! I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GONNA RUSH INTO ANYTHING!" the two shouted in unison.

You sighed, resting your cheek in your palm as you looked back down at the lawn.

"Too late."

Things had gone wrong fast.

After the four of you, though really you and Zoro, fought through the hordes of Galley-La workers, you eventually made it to the hallway leading to the mayor's bedroom.

Zoro had managed to cut down the door, coincidentally, at the exact same time Luffy burst in through the wall.

Robin, along with workers Lucci, Kalifa, Kaku, and Blueno, were all standing over Iceberg's body.

They went into a long explanation of how they pulled everything off, then attacked a man named Paulie and told Robin that her job was complete.

Though Luffy wasn't too accepting of the woman's farewell.

But Blueno, the fake bartender, blocked his path, and seemed to be able to combat each and every one of Luffy's moves.

"AGH! I said out of my way!" Luffy started, using his Gum-Gum Gatling to attack the large man.

But he dodged each and every hit with ease, as if he was a piece of paper billowing in the wind.

"Whoa! Even though he's big, he sure is fast!" Chopper exclaimed, wide eyed at the sight.

Past the large man's figure, Luffy noticed Robin still making her way to the window.

"Robin!" he called, trying to run after her.

Blueno blocked him once more, distracting the boy by beginning to hop on the air.

'He can fly?!'

"Tempest..." Kalifa and Kaku wound up a kick, before using it to send Luffy flying into the hallway, "Kick!"

But the gust of wind behind it was sharp, almost as if they had swung a very large blade.

You and Zoro's eyes shot wide at the same time.

"Get down! Hurry!" the two of you shouted in unison.

All of you hit the deck together, and narrowly dodged the gigantic slash sent over your heads.

"Luffy!" you exclaimed, turned behind you to check on him.

He had been thrown pretty far.

"They did all that with a single kick? No way!" Nami muttered, examining the huge slash mark left in the wall.

"Technically, it was the sharp gust of wind that followed it," Kalifa corrected, "We call it the Tempest Kick."

Zoro broke into a dash for Kaku, the two of them clashing weapons, Kaku's being a shipbuilding tool.

Taking that as a signal, you went after Kalifa, your mace and her heel clashing as you swung.

"Such an archaic and barbaric weapon," she taunted.

You furrowed your brows, pushing off and swinging your foot instead, which had a sword coming out of it.

She backflipped out of the way, landing in a handstand and sending a kick straight to your face, but you instant formed a shield and blocked it.

"That's a very interesting devil fruit you have," she smirked, flipping upright and starting to hop on air, like Blueno did.

"God's Messenger: Army and Point!" you exclaimed, forming a whip as your feathers popped off, all going to attack her.

She was surprised for a moment as the feathers blocked her vision, and you used the whip to grab her by her ankle, ready to pull her down.

But just as you were about to, you glanced at Zoro, only to see him get punched full of holes by Kaku's finger.

"ZORO!" you shouted, eyes shooting wide as his mouth spat up a ton of blood.

'SHIT! GOTTA GET OVER THERE AND HEAL HIM! QUICK!'

"Eyes up here, darling," Kalifa smirked, using your whip to yank you up to her before turning on Iron Body, making you smash your head directly into hers.

A sickening crack echoed throughout the room, and a single stream of blood poured from your scalp as you dropped to the ground.

"(y/n)!" Nami and Chopper cried, eyes wide and fearful.

It hurt like hell, but you weren't going down without a fight.

You weakly lifted your head, the speech Lucci was giving going in and out your ears until he suddenly began to turn into some sort of leopard monster.

'This just went from shit to fucking shit-storm.'

"No! He's a Carnivore Zoan-type!" Chopper gasped, terrified, "They're the most brutal of them all!"

"Lucci, the workmen are making their way up the stairs," Kalifa warned.

"They won't make it that far..."

With a single kick, the man completely destroyed the ceiling below, sending it crashing down.

"Stupid pidgeon jerk!" Luffy shouted, managing to land a punch on the man's face while he was distracted.

Lucci glared, and swung his arm over faster than you could see.

"Finger Pistol!"

Within seconds, you captain was impaled by the cat-man's claw.

"Luffy!" Zoro shouted, eyes wide.

"No!" you gasped.

Nami's tears could be heard throughout the entire room as Luffy struggled to breath, Lucci grabbing him by his face.

"Have a nice flight!" he spat, throwing the boy straight out the window and clear across town.

"Luffy!" Nami screamed, shaking with fright.

You were at a loss for words.

This couldn't be happening.

Luffy was one of the strongest people you knew.

If he couldn't fare against these guys, what did that say for you?

"Damn you!" Zoro cursed, making a run for Lucci, sword drawn.

"Iron Body."

The swordsman went for the arm, trying to slice it off, but it clashed as if it were metal, and Lucci roundhouse kicked him through the ceiling, dropping one of his swords on the way.

"Protect Nami!" you shouted, ordering all of your feathers to her, "Get her and Chopper out of here!"

They quickly detached, and scooped up the navigator and the doctor, zipping off far away from the scene.

And leaving you as the last domino standing.

You grabbed Zoro's sword and held it close as Lucci yoked you up by your neck, glaring at you so sharp that his eyes would cut down boulders if they could.

You knew he wouldn't be able to go after them.

The risk of being seen by one of the workers was too great, and their plan was already way behind schedule.

So if he couldn't get the other two, then he was going to take out all his anger on you.

"What would you say if I made you feel the most pain you've ever felt in your life?" he asked, his tone icy.

You scoffed, amused by his attempt to intimidate you.

"I'd tell you I'm into that," you smirked down at him, punctuating your sentence by spitting in his face.

He growled, throwing you up and kicking you out the window, sending you careening through the town.

You crashed into a building at full force, knocking it over and landing with the debris on another roof.

"SHIT!" you growled in pain, tightly clutching your shoulder.

You had heard a wet pop the second it collided with the concrete.

It was dislocated for sure.

"Dammit! I don't have time for this!" you hissed through gritted teeth, "I've gotta find Luffy and Zoro!"

Weakly, you pulled yourself up, trying to take a quick survey of where you were, despite the unforgiving wind.

And it seemed to be you were somewhere in the backstreets, the allies below you already completely flooded.

'The boys got thrown pretty far. I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up back here, too.'

You looked down at your arm, its limpness reminding you of the task at hand.

"First things first," you grunted, shutting your eyes and allowing you angelic glow to come over you, healing your arm, head, and neck.

And once your power was finished, the glow left, leaving you as good as new.

"Next," you sighed, turning to glance at your featherless wings.

Waiting for them to completely grow back would take a day or so, and you didn't have that kind of time.

So you'd have to go for the painful, last ditch option.

You dropped to your knees, bracing yourself for the oncoming torture.

'Take deep breaths...'

You began the process, forcing your body to grow more feathers, your grip on your skirt nearly ripping through the fabric.

The pain was similar to that of forcing your nails to grow.

...

By ripping each of them out one by one.

Slowly, but surely, the first few rows had regenerated, but they were not nearly enough for flight.

"Come on! Your friends are counting on you!" You slammed your fist down, your teeth nearly biting through your lip.

You pushed harder, beads of sweat rolling down your temple as more and more feathers grew.

Your breaths were deep and controlled, hoping to breath yourself through it.

'One more push! Almost done!'

You gave your final push, your last few feathers sprouting before your body finally collapsed.

"Done..." you panted, relieved, "Now I gotta... find the others."

Standing up, you grabbed Zoro's sword, only to turn and see a wave almost as tall as the clouds.

It was headed straight for you.

"CRAP!" you exclaimed, unfurling your new wings and jetting off.

You were originally going to head back a little closer to town, but out of the corner of your eye you noticed a familiar pair of boots sticking out a chimney.

'ZORO!'

Without a second thought, you zipped over, the looming tsunami providing a whole lot of motivation.

But as you drew closer, you realized you wouldn't be able to hold Zoro's sword, and give a full-forced bash at the same time.

'Fuck it...'

You closed your eyes and rammed head first through the chimney, completely destroying it.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Zoro exclaimed, wide eyed as the chimney seemed to explode around him.

"Zoro!" you cheesed, catching him bridal style before doing a hard one-eighty, "Hold on!"

"(y/n)?! Did you break that with your head?! The hell were you thinking?!" he realized, noticing the steady stream of blood running down your forehead.

"I couldn't use a weapon 'cause I was too busy holding your sword," you panted, handing it to him, "I snagged it from Lucci before getting thrown out here."

He gratefully took it from you, his face serious as the events started coming back to him.

He and Luffy had been thrown out of the window, leaving you to protect Nami and Chopper all by yourself.

The man could only imagine what you had gone through to keep them safe.

"Are Nami and Chopper alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," you nodded, "I had my feathers fly them to safety. And CP9 didn't seem to go after them. They should be good for a while."

"I see," the swordsman nodded, looking down at his blade.

He should've been there.

"I'm sorry for not being there to help you."

You cocked a brow, a confused look on your face.

"You don't have to apologize, Zoro," you assured, looking down at him with a relieved smile as you landed on the bridge.

You put him down, and threw your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug.

"If I'm being honest," you sighed, resting your face in the crook of his neck, "I'm just glad you're safe."

Zoro's breath hitched, and a tinge of crimson graced his cheeks.

'Fuck...'

It shouldn't make him happy to hear how worried you were about him.

But you were so soft, and so warm.

And the way you were looking at him was making something buzz in his chest.

He knew he shouldn't indulge in this.

He knew that this was a line that once crossed, would never be the same again.

Yet he couldn't stop his arms from looping around your waist.

Couldn't stop himself from pulling you closer.

Couldn't stop himself from breathing you in, accepting his new reality.

"I'm glad you're safe, too, (y/n)..."

[mama-qwerty]

Sonic 3 Review

Okay guys, I'm still gonna do some breakdowns of scenes and characters (feel free to keep sending in asks if you have something specific you want my take on), but wanted to get my thoughts on the movie out there.

Keep in mind that I came into Sonic through the movies, and have never played or watched any cut scenes from the older games. I have no idea the actual plot and specific details of any of them, just a vague "this happened in some game or another" in the broadest of senses.

So I didn't come into Sonic 3 with any preconceived ideas about what should be in it regarding Shadow's story. The movieverse is a separate universe (as are all Sonic media, in my mind), so even if there were some things that were different, I took them in correlation with what's been established, or what can be done under the rules and physics of the movie's world building.

Obviously spoilers ahead:

All in all, I found the movie fun, and it told a good story with good characterizations. The action started quickly and kept steady through most of it. We had an exciting introduction to Shadow at the very beginning, when he woke up and chose violence, and it was a good way to start things off.

Yeah, it was a little goofy in some parts, but this is a movie made to appeal to children, so Jeff and Co. couldn't go all into the angst for the whole thing. There were some parts I would have done differently, or omitted entirely, but if you look at the more weird parts of the movie as kind of along the same lines as Boom (especially for the dance number in the laser hallway) you can roll with it.

There were many moments that tugged at your heartstrings, and a few very powerful moments that I've already talked about. There is a much more emotional impact in this one that was missing from the first two, as our boys struggle with their actions and how they affect others. They were all handled very well, with each having a good role to play in the story.

The climax was great, and it was exciting to see Sonic and Shadow working together.

As I said, all in all, a really fun ride and my whole family enjoyed it a lot.

That said, let's look at a few of the points that I see some complaining about, and my take on them.

Not Enough Wachowski Family Moments

Okay, this one I will kinda agree with. We got a teeny peek into their dynamic is a family at the beginning, right before Rockwell showed up to whisk the boys away to clean up their mess. It would have been nice to see them all interacting more, to see how Knux and Tails have fit into this dynamic.

Devil's Advocate - There's only so much screen time available, and we know they're a family. We don't need to be bludgeoned over the head with fluffy scenes of the boys doing chores and having group hugs and all that. It would have slowed the narrative, and in the end, all that would not further reinforce the idea that they've come together as a family any more than their camping trip and celebration for Sonic's "B-Earth-day" already established.

Shadow's Origin Change

In the movieverse, Gerald claims that Shadow came to Earth encased in a meteorite. His energy readings were off the scale, so they took him to a facility to study him. He was not originally created by Gerald, and was simply an alien come to Earth and then taken to be studied.

Devil's Advocate - I have no opinion regarding this change, as the movieverse is different from any other media. They've already altered backstories where they needed, to make things at least somewhat 'realistic' and allow the boys to exist in 'our' world without major complications of Sonic just running around as a child fighting Eggman, and Knuckles being the last of his kind and having thousands of years separating him from his closest ancestors. (Not to mention the size change of the Master Emerald - having one the size of a VW Beetle would have been a little hard to hide or cart around.)

Having Shadow arrive kinda like Stitch is fitting in this version of the Sonic verse, as going into a lengthy explanation of how Gerald could manage to create a space hedgehog from scratch, when Angel Island may or may not exist, would have pushed suspension of disbelief a little much.

Maria's Not Sick

I thought the whole "Gerald takes her with him everywhere" thing for Maria seemed a bit flimsy, especially since she wasn't sick and in need of him to find a cure for her. They were in a super high security facility and there's this girl who's just allowed to wander freely simply because she's the granddaughter of the lead scientist?

I would have liked to see more of the reasoning behind her being there. And more of Maria and Shadow's relationship, especially from Shadow's side.

Devil's Advocate - Despite my comments above, I actually liked that they didn't make Maria's defining factor be her illness. She was a character in her own right, and befriended Shadow out of her own kindness, and not simply because he was created to cure her, and thus they were kinda forced to be together. She reached out immediately, and essentially kidnapped him from his tests to show him how to have fun. She showed him kindness, not because he was supposed to be her 'cure', but because she saw this little boy, all alone, and treated as a thing by the scientists, and took it upon herself to show him that he was more than that.

Too Much Gerald and Eggman Screentime

I will admit that sometimes it did seem like they were focusing a little too much on the Robotniks. We were subjected to a montage of Eggman living out little moments of childhood 'milestones' with Gerald, and that aforementioned dance number in the hallway was reminiscent of the dance battle in the second movie. Kinda silly.

Devil's Advocate - I think these scenes were to delve a little into Ivo's character a bit. It was established in the first one that he was an orphan, and through the second it reinforced the idea that he thought he didn't need anyone. He pushed people away, built his walls, and hid behind his bots. But now that he's faced with an actual blood relative, who seems to want him around, all those walls came down and we saw the hurt little boy within Ivo. This only made it hurt all the more when Gerald turned on him. And damnit, I actually felt bad for Ivo in that moment.

The Master Emerald/Chaos Emeralds

There is some confusion as to how these things worked. At the end of the 2nd movie, Sonic very distinctly sent all the chaos emeralds away. Knuckles reformed the Master Emerald without them. But in this movie, Sonic went Super with the Master Emerald, and somehow the chaos emeralds were still within it.

Devil's Advocate - Yeah, I got nothin'. 😆 Not sure if there was a deleted scene explaining that or something, but it seemed a pretty glaring continuity error.

But, whatevs. We go with it. 'Cause dis is how we roll.

And as an aside WHY DO YOU HATE WADE, JEFF??? Seriously, there were so many other ways to handle that scene, and you did THAT to him?? UUUGGGGHGGHGHGHGHh

Sonic Didn't Call Tom and Maddie "Dad and Mom"

Okay, yeah, I agree with this one. He called Tom 'Dad' at the end of the 2nd, meaning he finally accepted them as his parents. They call themselves a family. And yes, I will accept that he may slip back into their names during lighter times, when it's an emotional scene, he should call them "Mom and Dad". Such as in the cave and when Tom was hurt.

Devil's Advocate - Yeah, no, I can't argue with this. You can't have him call Tom 'Dad' in the last movie and then never touch on that again. The boys didn't even call each other 'brothers', for crying out loud! The perfect place to do that would have been the cornfield, and it was still 'friends'. THEY ARE BROTHERS YOUR HONOR AND TOM AND MADDIE ARE THEIR PARENTS

~~~

I'm not saying the movie was 100% perfect. There were things I found silly, or unnecessary. Things I would have done differently.

But taking a step back and looking at the full picture, and not just the individual brush strokes, it was entertaining, fun, and had more than a few moments that I found really powerful, much more than either of the previous ones did.

I'm excited to see where they go in the next one. Things are really ramping up.

~~~

Check out my other Sonic 3 analysis posts

[paunchsalazar]

hey so I really enjoyed your kyokao longfic and i was wondering what the writing process was like since im planning on writing a fanfic (first time).

did you plan anything with an outline? or did you wing it?

anyways thanks in advance (and btw im doing another reread of your fic, it's so narratively satisfying!!)

omg woah first!!! thank you so much!!! that is seriously the most touching thing to possibly hear T-T

This is going to be such a long-winded answer but I definitely did not wing it!!! apologies for the long post but I love to see behind the curtain and think about process so...

That fic was my first multi-chapter story and waaaay longer than anything else I’ve ever made… so I kinda had no idea where to start. I wanted to make a rough outline to see if it was even feasible - was there a beginning, middle, and end? Even a super hazy one? before jumping in and writing a whole long project… (I had no idea how long it would be, but knew it was definitely longer than a few thousand words.)

it started as a timeline - trying to keep track of all the canon events via bonus chapters and sketches, then working to fill in the gaps with headcanons. Even though Ouran is silly, by the end they’re operating within a normal timeline lol….

After filling out a lot of the timeline with headcanons then organizing them in chronological order.. started to see the plot/opportunities for change - in the characters, their relationships, the state of their lives - especially with school, moving, etc. all of the above

I tried to make myself a guide to keep organized lol (totally unnecessary, but helped me keep track of things!)

the timeline started as bullet points - if there are any settings or occasions that would justify an “episode” - major holidays, group trip, etc. At least with Ouran, I tried to play around with the settings - The host club has unlimited resources which is a rare luxury… but wanted to keep in the realm of what they might do + think about fancy rich people things they hadn’t yet covered “on screen”

From there, it went to sub-bullet points, then trying to nail down each beat I'd want to cover - through narration or dialogue

It's hard to pin it down but sometimes certain moments - a visual, an exchange of dialogue - play out really clearly in my head… so would occasionally find that moment and then reverse engineer what would lead to that, then follow the thread to where it would potentially go…

Usually went in chronological order or at least made a list of beats all the way through, but then would jump back and forth to fix little things or add in details I realized needed to move sooner/be foreshadowed…

Outline/timeline > beats > rough draft > going line by line to edit + then hopping around to fix things accordingly

I had a lot of different docs... just because they get so big

+ I like to put unfinished things in blue (or any color, I like blue because red feels more negative to me lol) and then change them to black when they feel "locked" or at least like they're functioning. It helps me keep track of how much is left to do + makes it easier to find spots that need attention!

+ also like to have a "cutting room" document for everything I cut/don't know where to put/is redundant in case I want to use it for later, or even just to try to see what I was going for!! I've found it to come in handy down the line

Here are some examples of the WIP bullet points/blurbs lol... I also like to make "off-screen" notes to myself just to keep in mind, I did have a friend beta-reading some parts, but kinda do this for myself anyway just to keep it in mind.

From there it was just writing and rewriting... I usually go through a scene from the beginning and read until something trips me up, try to either fix it or make note of what the intention was and then go on to the next beat. I went chapter by chapter, in order, and tried to get each locked before going on to the next one.

Should also note that this fic took me a long time!! And I wasn't working on it with a super set schedule. It was purely for fun, so I just worked on it when I felt like it (and as it grew, I found myself wanting to work on it more and more! so it was exciting more than a chore).

I talked to friends about it, even if just kinda laughing about headcanons or jokes, and had a few people read through the beats and a few scenes to see if it flowed/if the dialogue sounded in character!

+ I did a lot of revisiting the source material or even just watching a clip when I felt like I was losing their voices. Idk if it was that successful... but it helped to keep them in mind!!

Anyway... I can only speak for what works for me! and I think a lot of these habits are coming from my storyboarding workflow.

Writing is so personal and there is bound to be trial and error!! I hope that you have so much fun writing, whatever approach you take!!!!!

Also what thank you so much for reading my fic at all and for your kindness!! If you ever publish your fic, please send me a link!!! even if it is ages from now!!!!!

[unstableverse-headcanons]

🦜 Anon seeing you respond to my ask raised my serotonin and spiked my creativity ily so much /p

I love all of your takes like. I spent a good six+ hours thinking of them before I managed to start writing this.

I feel like when it comes to killing off characters, specifically members of Lifesteal SMP (seriously, I read the wiki page and not a SINGLE one of those guys has died???) has me thinking either a) Spoke, Wemmbu and Parrot don't want to kill off any of them cause they probably know them best or sum and it's easier to incorporate them in canon when they need a recurring character b) there's going to be a major event vs the director where, if not all, maybe a majority of the Lifestealers band together OR c) their deaths are going to serve as a hit as big as Wifies' and Dean's deaths despite the fact that some of them don't really seem as players as big to the plot as Wifies and Dean were.

Logic says it's c my heart says b I want the lifestealers being protective of each other and trying to help Parrot if he goes too far out (before either realizing he really is too far gone or like. Coming up with a way to reverse manipulate him out of the director's hold). I know it's more of a crack theory but your honor they are so found family coded they should get to violently beat each other w/o the murder part. Parrot should get to kill but the thought of him killing a Lifesteal member is both painful and like, depending on the player, chances are he's going to get overpowered without reinforcements.

WEMMBU'S "The only thing that works on this server is intimidation" LINE OH MY GOD WHAT IF THE MURDER ATTEMPTS ARE THE DIRECTOR'S WAY OF INTIMIDATING THEM AND NOT LIKE. ACTUALLY KILLING TJEM AND FHAYS WHY ITSREALME BACKS OFF OF PARROT AT THE END OF THE EPISODE????? I feel like The Director intimidating Parrot into joining the dark side and then Leo intimidating him into coming back would lowk be so funny for. No reason at all.

Additionally, I think that the only way the director could truly manipulate Parrot is by a) literally manipulating his code so that Parrot does what the director wants him to do but there would be. No point to the chase then really b) as the story progresses and a new person tries to kill Parrot time and time again and the bounty hunters have to save him cause these people just KEEP COMING AFTER HIM I hope there's more of like. One on one interactions between Parrot and the players sent after him. Maybe not even multiple players just like 3-4 people hired by the director with vastly different methods of intimidation. While Its stops trying to kill him he shows up to help the other people sent after Parrot and he serves as a more "familiar" voice where he like. Reveals itty bits of the director's "plans" but as the story progresses it's like. Yo this lowkey matches with what Parrot wants but it's like, actually a horribly corrupted version of what's really going on but Parrot is sad so he like. Despite his skepticism, he falls for it. And the other 2-3 players can be like. Maybe one of them tries to kill him by trapping him multiple times, and another threatens the bounty hunters (specifically Leo and maybe Nufuli, who Parrot hopefully gets closer to as the season progresses) but completely discard Derapchu and Jumper in a way to like. Show him that he's all alone except for these two players and one of them is quite literally being forced to care for him but either way if he doesn't give up and let himself be killed then they're going to kill them and it just. Messes with Parrot's state of being so much, leading him to believe he's a burden, that he really was better off on his own, that he should just leave the bounty hunters and no one would really care, that he's going to end up getting them killed like he got Wifies and Dean killed. That maybe there really is no way out.

Eventually, Parrot, who's highk been struggling mentally since s1, approaches one of the players and he asks for a 1v1 he knows he can't win but instead the player goes "Actually. I think I'd like to recommend you to the Director (: he'd really like you!" and maybe atp Parrot isn't so against working with the director because throughout the season Its or someone else tells him the director had nothing to do with Wifies' death, that Ash was just lying to get his way, etc etc. Maybe later on in the season through Spoke or Wemmbu's POV it's revealed that the whole thing had been orchestrated to get Parrot to come to the director because there was no way he'd join if the director threatened him, because it's shown that when given the choice between his own death or joining a person who he heavily disagrees/disapproves/dislikes he'll choose his own death time and time and time again.

If we don't get a Parallel Duo team-up at some point I'm. Gonna cry so bad. They deserve to team together but if they don't team I hope that, at the very least, in the case of villain! Parrot, Clown finds himself leaning on the balance but like. Maybe the director doesn't like that and threatens Branzy which then Clown doesn't like because who does bro think he is??? Though with the "You're right. We are different." line it feels like their stories are going to be mirrors of each other. I love villain Clown but the idea of this big bad scary guy being on the side of the heroes because he can admit when he needs help and he doesn't like the director because whatever his motives are they don't align with Clown's? Either way if we get a team-up I can imagine Parrot having a moral crisis and Clown just side eyeing him like "tf is wrong with that guy" 😭😭😭

Wemmbu and Spoke joining forces would be so cool cause then both through season 1 and season 2 their only like, "common" person is Parrot. In s1, Parrot starts off as seemingly an enemy of both Spoke and Wemmbu due to whatever backstory they have (which. Is something I actually want to get into in a min) and then when they have the mafia as a mutual conflict Parrot's like, their only common ally. So s2 being like, a flipped script and having them start off with Parrot as their only mutual ally and then moving into a mutual conflict would be fire. I'm also obsessed with the idea of the director sending reinforcements to help Parrot. I like to imagine him as more of like, a symbol, because Parrot's whole thing in s1 was his savior complex and the whole "hope" thing. He's literally the symbol of hope and peace - he's the one who convinces Wemmbu to join him and scrambles to make the best of it with Spoke and Mapicc when district 13 gets disbanded. The idea of the director taking this symbol and corrupting it beyond recognition.... I feel like that's a pretty good way to instill fear into players. Cause, like, Parrot is probably the only person willing to fight for what he believes in because his motto is literally "either I'm going to win or I'm going to die trying", everyone else either gives in or runs away.

Parrot not wearing armor would be peak but in order for it to work I feel like he has to have a player assigned to him by the director around him at all times. Someone tries to one tap him and they just get maced on the spot 😭

THE BACKSTORY. The backstory. I don't know what's going on in the backstory, but it's definitely something. I can not for the life of me figure out what Parrot could've done to piss off both Spoke and Zam so much that bro gets permanently banned from Zam's Empire and loses whatever friendship he had with Spoke. He doesn't even seem. Completely aware of what he did. Like Wemmbu clearly knows why Zam banned him from the Empire and Parrot's like "yeahhh i definitely know what you're talking about" but he like. Doesn't really seem to know what he's talking about??? Like I'm assuming there was an event between Spoke and Zam that kickstarted the whole war thing but like. I don't recall Parrot ever showing up in Spoke's videos during the Spoke/Zam conflict and it's like ??? It was something bad enough for both Zam and Spoke to dislike him but like, clearly couldn't be a major inconvenience because Zam and Spoke don't outright try to kill him until Parrot breaks Spoke and Wifies out of the prison (for Zam) and Spoke tries to climb the mafia ranks. I like to think that, like, maybe it had something to do with the director but I can't make complete sense of it.

ALSO. All the major groups in UU seems to happen in trios or technically, duos + one and I hope this continues to be a thing in s2. Ex: Spoke and Mapicc + Jamato, Ash and Red + Clown, Parrot and Wifies + Dean, Wemmbu and Egg + Zam, Spoke and Wemmbu + Parrot, etc etc. I think it's because like, the duos typically have something in common? Like they're either enemies or best buds and the third person kinda "complements" them as sort of a neutral ally? Idk if that makes sense.

Anyways ummm if we don't get villain! Parrot I hope that at the very least he has a breakdown or something where he just like, snaps at everyone. Jumper, Derapchu and Parrot go on a mission without Nufuli and Leo for some reason and Jumper as Derapchu maybe want to get out while Parrot is dead set on going deeper because he's been promised something to do with Wifies or sum idk. After bringing up Wifies' death and practically blaming them for it, Parrot tells them that they can go away because he's fine on his own despite all the progress he's made with Leo and Jumper and Derapchu are like. Torn between knocking some sense into him but risking pushing him away and just following him but risking one of them dying cause like. What do you do when the guy who's lowk your leader's son (if you bring it up you will get taken out back and shot), grief-struck by the loss of his closest friends and the abandonment from people he thought he could trust wants to do something that you're PRETTY sure is going to get either himself or someone else killed??

Either way I think that the route Parrot decides to take (willingly joining the director for revenge and killing the bounty hunters or being manipulated into joining the director but doing his best to like, not be the hand that takes the life of the person who took him in when he needed it most) could be the difference between s2 ending tragically (with atleast one of the protagonists and even more people dying) or defeating the director.

I think this is all I wanted to say sorry for the long text this is what happens when you don't write your thoughts down on time lol

- 🌺 Anon

!

[masterdetectivexx]

Hi mtx hope you are doing well

what are your thoughts on last case? who do you think that old woman and who she is focus on is it amuro or conan? and what abt the baby is it possible for him to be KARASUMA ?!!

File 1126-1128 Review

I think this latest case was very refreshing, similar to the Butler shinkansen case, where we revisited classic DC mystery themes and settings that aren't often used. You immediately get a classic kidnapping case with the added trait of a seemingly gory and highstake threat from the start through the reveal of a head in a jar (File 1126).

The twist that the gory atmosphere was ultimately a fakeout is such a callback to the very old Ayumi kidnapping case (File 83), where the head she was stuck with was a prop as well. It was also a neat trick on how to create the illusion of a 3D head out of a 2D paper.

The trick of opening a lock with a mini-explosion using matchsticks (File 1128) was also quite genius and I hadn’t thought of such a way to actually work (as expected of Gosho).

Another revisited theme was Masumi and her protective and watchful gazes against anyone with potentially ill intent towards Conan, which I always love to see more of. Her noticing Amuro's nosiness towards Conan (File 1126) took me immediately back to Yusaku cold case in Bourbon arc (File 814), where she started glaring the same way towards Subaru after he alluded to figuring out Conan's true identity discreetly.

As for whether her eventually revealing to Conan, that Amuro is investigating him (File 1128), is gonna lead to any actions from Conan's side is all up in the air. Since Conan already views Amuro as an ally, he most likely wouldn't be too concerned of it, since unlike his Bourbon worries in File 1009 (after his recent Kudo Shinichi publicity) he has no reason to suspect the BO is onto Edogawa Conan.

One thing I somewhat got right was something I speculated in regards to one of the suspects that Ran and Sonoko found so familiar. I had speculated that Kanamaru was an employee who has worked in Poirot since before Amuro & Masumi intro, based on the clues that were given in File 1127 (Knowledge on behind-the-counter, familarity, etc).

I was convinced, but mainly hopeful, that we were finally getting the reveal of the mysterious never-appearing owner of Café Poirot. It seems however unfortunately that, while the line of thought was correct, it was rather a former employee who covered for the owner when he was hospitalized in the past (File 1128).

It was however cool to learn that Kanamaru had previously appeared as a background Poirot employee in the anime, making his general design and official manga debut pretty cohesive in the DC franchise.

Now... as for the important question of yours, who is the old lady that looked unique in how she appeared as a witness with a mysterious toddler in a stroller and who also appeared once again at the very end...?

She is none other than: Karasuma Renya's mother pushing her shrunken Boss son in a stroller!!!

Jokes aside, she did pretty much catch every other fan's attention the moment she appeared and it was a running joke that the boss has finally made his appearance xD

As for what I really think, I'm not really entertaining the idea that the Boss would have first of all shrunken into a younger age than our main protagonist (a 7-year-old), since it would lose any air of suspending disbelief and start becoming more comical than serious (especially since a toddler boss would be too vulnerable as a threat). The old lady also looked quite generic for a character design, which of course doesn't need to mean she isn't important, but it does ultimately lessen the chance that she is a major player in the story. What I however entertained was the possibility that she could be another named, but unrevealed, old woman character in the story, who has the best timing to appear in this stage of the ongoing plot. I'm talking about Haneda Kohji's mother, Haneda Ichiyo.

Considering that Gosho is very likely already setting up the introduction of Haneda Yasuharu (Kohji's named father in the marriage registration in File 947) through the mystery of Vader (respirator elder), it couldn’t be more fitting to have the also-named wife being setup to get introduced in such a discreet way that once she eventually appears in association with Vader (assuming it's Haneda Yasuharu), it will leave a bigger and better impression on the reader than a simple worthless appearance of a new character.

As for her motives for appearing around Poirot Café, it could be that similar to Vader, who this old lady is actually being watchful of is neither Conan nor Amuro, but rather Sera Masumi. Vader has had his eyes on Masumi and Mary (which again fits with him being Yasuharu) and seemingly realized that Akai Mary has become a middle-schooler (File 1096), so in a similar fashion, this could be Gosho sprinkling in some hidden continuation of that plot thread, but with the twist being that Ichiyo (Kohji's mother) is trying to confirm her husband's (Vader/Yasuharu) crazy findings by borrowing one of her housemaids' baby as a part of her cover as a passerby, rather than glamorously appearing in a vintage/expensive car that shows her status of being from the powerful Haneda family.

The ending of the chapter had a sidenote mentioning that many premonitions were swirling around Café Poirot, which is ultimately enough that it is referring to what Masumi brought up about Conan being investigated by Amuro, but it could also indeed covertly be including the looming old lady literally outside the Café hearing the rom-com commotion inside. What is however the most exciting is that the awaited Osaka Heizuha likely-confession case in Naniwa has been teased even in the to-be-continued note to be the next big 5-chapter case coming in Aug 7. I can't wait to finally see more development of not only the main characters of this stage (Heiji & Kazuha) but also Rum arc's new stars of this subplot that have thoroughly been a joy to follow (Momiji and Muga).