#i get that there might be a genuine reason for this. maybe it isnt cost effective to deliver a small order

[duskythesomething]

very frustrating that there is a snake I want, I have a nice sized tank I can set up for it, I have had this snake saved for a month now and his price just dropped, and yet I still need to wait.

rambles in tags

[lokigodofaces]

i really dislike small order fees. like i've got to pay money for...not wanting to pay money? idk every time this happens i look at the order to see how much the small order fee is and just. buy something that same price. i have 2L of root beer i don't need but that's because i'd rather use $2 on root beer than nothing

[oflorelei]

My Problem is:

That it's a let down. Listen I am not mad or horrible dissapointed over that Radahn is there (although sigh i wished we would have gotten that Age of Abundance/Compassion man). I am not mad that he is apparently a puppets and that miquella is apparently the villain from the shadows. I'm mad that they hyped this DLC up so hard, using Miquella's character, which they know to be shrouded in mystery and HYPE, made it appear that we may have the chance to join him/get betrayed by him, made people belief he SPECIFALLY seeks out the tarnished or multiple tarnished at once (to help him?)- that he is the central figure of this DLC when he is not. And thats not an underestimation.

Miquella, most fearsome of the Empyreans, the 'father' of the Halligtree, beloved by near all, who "[...]wields love to shrive clean the hearts of men. (There is nothing more terrifying.)" - does not even have his own bossfight.

No, he is basically just a cape for a boss we already fought to a DLC that costs 40€. He is in the promotion arc, he is said to be a central figure, he is said to be the fearsome empyrean of all. One thing he isnt? Apparently worth the time of day.

I am ok with Miquella being turned into a villain, I am not ok with Miquella being turned into a joke.

There were so so many roads they could have taken with him, he was PROMISING in every regard.

Want to make him a Villain? Fine the reason can be:

=> Manipulation/Enchanting for people to love him (to ensure someone will always look out for him)

-not absolutely evil per say- and it makes sense that someone who is stuck in the body of a child might want to count on many people rather then one person to protect them = it is his weapon to wield affection

- still takes away free will, even consent to some degree

=> Formless mothers influence

- do i even need to explain this one lmao

- already thousands of theories before this DLC thought that miquella might have been negatively influenced by her- especially when so many things in this Game revolve around blood and the power of it

=> "for the greater good" ahh ending

- 'the means justify the end' mentality (maybe even allign with the manipulation and enchanting)

-would be a similar situation to ranni and could mirror it- not the best but also not horrible

=> St. Trina is Miquella's Radagon

- Miquella splitting slowly with the golden order & turning his back to the easier path & planning behind the shadows to change how Things have been? Yeah maybe St. Trina could have been to Miquella what Radagon was to Marika (a guard dog, keeping her checked (sry but i genuinely believe Radagon returned bc Marika started to stray)).

-could also have explored how marika had to deal with it & her relationship to her other self => player could maybe decide who they wished to serve

=> the curse drives mad

- being stuck in the body of a child when you are a grown adult mentally is pure eldritch horror imo, it is not only physically but chances are high it could cause deeper psychological issues

- when grief drove marika mad it can drive miquella mad to that despite everything he does, being so prodigal, does not help and helplessness of it all too

- bc no one can help and no one can understand him

- he is stuck in a body that is his, and yet its the body of a past him, something he should have outgrown, something that belongs to the past- and (IMO) he can not fight truly in his body, not even to defend himself- having to constantly rely on people for your protection when you are an incredible independent creature? Horrible

- while not the most climatic- would it be truly unthinkable that miquella maybe just..gave up? That it drove him mad with grief to realize he spends his life searching for a cure that might not even exist?

- again thats more then a 'what if' then realistic like the rest of the list but i just love the horror adult mind child body

Want to make him a good guy? Fine the reason can be:

=> He is described so. He knew that he would be the next god & took responsibility.

- Miquella created the Haligtree, feed by his OWN blood (which takes far longer and more energy then just using bodies) or all that are rejected by the golden order, he is compassionate & kind. He is protective and by gods above he does want to help, he does break away from the golden order when he realizes they are not what they seem

-With ranni not wanting to become the successor and Malenia cursed with the rot it only leaves Miquella open, he would have been aware of it

- He is already a 'big' brother, caring for malenia, caring for all who were considered Misfits such as the Albinauric & Misbegotten, providing a sanctuary and hope

- Miquella is described as kind, as compassionate someone who basically does wish to bring a change and is ready to self sacrifice for the better

There are many more but guys im so so tired and need to nap. In short: its incredible to me how you can make a Character that had potential for all possible sides (good, evil, inbetween) so bland, his arc and journey feel like white toastbread, his relationship to his beloved sister malenia seems fake, he doesnt appear to be an adult trapped in a body of a child but as simply put an idiot who is all about "me me me me" & then doesnt even get a bossfight.

Im not mad it was written, i am made there was zero thought or reasoning put behind it, when there were so so many options to make it good. Its sorta fascinating that somehow no one likes this ending, not the Radahn Fans, Nor the Miquella or Malenia Fans..idk man. Having feelings about this.

Also im really bummed we didnt get a cutscene were the tarnished touches Miquella's arm to travel like- man.

Also sorry for the grammar/spelling or maybe even logic errors i just needed to vent ngl

[sethredia]

is there anything else like the combination of anxiety disorder, period hormones, and your first coffee in a month (between the coffee and the midol ive gone from maybe ~35mg to 210mg of caffeine in one day and lord knows thats a big jump)?

its three in the morning and i Cannot fall asleep and now im like three seconds away from an anxiety attack over a recurring feeling of Something being in my eye but when i look theres nothing there and its been. longer than i really should have let it get but i was really hoping it would clear up on its own. but this means i have to call my eye doctor tomorrow morning - no, today, just later, jesus christ - because if its Something thats not just like flushing out with water then you fucking Have To go to the doctor but i was Just there for new glasses and i dont have insurance so its another like sixty fucking dollars and thats If they have an appointment any time soon because if not i might have to go to a different eye doctor that, while cheaper, i dont know or trust and all and. god damn it why does every eye place close on sundays? this is the first monday in months i have to work and thats because i have a “vacation” coming up from work and i wanted to squeeze in the hours before i wasnt at work for a week.

AND i have to work today at ten and thats when the fucking eye doctor opens and while i technically could probably get away with doing that in the morning because i tend to open alone (and if my boss is there for some reason i know logically she would let me make the call because shes nice) but the Point Is that i. Don’t Want To. i want my eye to be magically better without having to see someone about it

what makes it all worse is that the vacation im taking is to go see a Big Event. i bought tickets for me and my dad to go to Big Event and if theres genuinely something wrong with my eye, what if the doctor says not to go? that would be so bad! ive been looking forward to this for the past year and its next weekend!

like. what? i call the eye doctor, maybe they can fit me in on an emergency, and then emergency appointments always cost more and again No Insurance, and maybe theres something wrong and maybe there isnt but you have to pay regardless, and then even if there is an emergency slot, my only day off between now and vacation is sunday when my doctor Doesnt Work so i would probably have to ask my boss like “hey i know i have days off literally in four days but i Have To Go To The Doctor Right Now” and again shes very nice and would definitely understand but like. fuck man i feel nauseous

[creacherkeeper]

im getting a little too in my family feels today and so INSTEAD of feeling those im just going to ramble for a second about why i fucking love paladin!aelwyn because. im. just like this i guess im coping leave me alone

cw for discussions of child abuse, maladaptive coping, drugs and alcohol, self harm, destructive tendencies, basically everything we see in canon and the implications

aelwyn is ... SO interesting to me because for as much of her interiority as we see, as much of her as we think we understand, as much as i could ramble about her character for hours, we know ALMOST NOTHING about her in actuality?? (besides ... one key thing)

(this is like 2k and probably incoherent someone please stop me)

okay. listen. almost everything we see aelwyn do in s1 is maladaptive rebellion against her parents and home life. the drinking, the drugs, the partying, perhaps some of kalvaxus (though i dont think we fully understand how much of that was forced on her as well, kalina WAS watching her when she was talking to adaine about it). you can say like, oh aelwyn is a party animal, she's impulsive, she makes risky decisions, she's bitchy and rude, and its like. okay but IS SHE ACTUALLY. because under her parents thumb she had an EXTREMELY limited amount of freedom, and usually when people are suffering from very little control over their life, they WILL act destructively over the tiny bit they can, either harming themselves or their environment or people lower than them in the pecking order, because in a way, that feels like a reclamation of autonomy. saying "you have so much power over me but can you stop me from hurting myself and destroying what you havent managed to claim yet?". its just like, kind of what human brains do and frequently has little to do with a persons actual personality or impulses, its just. desperate brains trying to control SOMETHING because autonomy is a fundamental human need and when thats taken away we get. very bad off. (this is one big reason eating disorders are SO common with abused kids.) so i think a lot of the s1 aelwyn we see is like. this is a very desperate, abused teenager "acting out" in the only way it is possibly somewhat safe for her to do so because, on a psychological level, the self destruction is weirdly the only emotional tether and its either this or just dissociate all the time (something we do see she has problems with in canon)

and yes, she did treat adaine horribly in s1. she fully did. obviously what we get in canon is what happens but a moment thats interesting to me is in episode 1 where adaine has attacked aelwyn several times, who either does nothing or just bounces it back, when she says "i never cast spells at you" and siobhan immediately retcons it and says "yes you do, all the time" (i havent gone back and watched this bit so i might be wording this wrong). obviously its an improv show and the canon is built between performers as they go, but that was interesting to me. that brennan hadnt intended for her to have fought back in that way. she definitely feeds into the emotional abuse from their parents and participates in all the toxicity there, but we know in canon that she did that because of overwhelming fear and self preservation. and that her self hatred because of it just fed back into the cycle and made her feel like she wasnt good enough to even try to break free from it. this is very common in golden child/scapegoat sibling relationships where the golden child SEES what the parents are capable of and becomes a participant in the abuse out of fear for their own standing. in any way siding with the scapegoat child not only directs abuse at themselves as well, but frequently makes things WORSE for the scapegoat because the parents will take out the challenge to their power on them even more. so, if aelwyn DID ever try to defend or help adaine when they were small, she would have VERY QUICKLY learned that made things worse for everyone. and just. sectioned that part of her brain off, as she's done with so many other things. (and i dont think im reading too much into the forest scene with the abernants to say their parents were VERY QUICK to turn abuse towards aelwyn if she stepped out of line even a little. like, you dont flinch when a hand moves unless. you know. dont need to say it just something to think about. as far as we saw in canon, she had done everything they asked of her leading up to the forest, and we DONT KNOW what happened in it but we do know brennan specifically called out how in broken spirits she was when adaine was summoned, even though they did the ritual to avoid all of the nightmare bullshit)

(the house party is literally a whole separate post but i think its fair to point out that 1) she was super under the influence when that was happening which DEFINITELY is in no way an excuse for her behavior but worth remembering when trying to analyze that 2) her losing that fight did canonically have DRASTIC consequences for her and even if she didnt know exactly how that was going to turn out, i think she knew how bad it might be. and she did not know adaine or any of the bad kids were going to be there in the first place)

all that said, it feels in some ways counterproductive to say that aelwyn is an extremely devoted and protective person (yes we're getting to the paladin shit i know i've been rambling a while) but i think that thats strangely ALL WE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT HER. because we've established that her self-destructive and abusive behavior in s1 is almost entirely psychologically scripted for her by her parents, we dont know how much of her villain shit in s1 was LITERALLY UNDER THREAT OF DEATH because we know at least killing the oracle was and we dont know how much of the rest of it was mandated by either her parents or kalina other than that she probably was under orders not to tell adaine the truth, and we know participating in all of this caused extreme self loathing in her that she refused to show to anybody and was too terrified to act on in any way

so, like. what does that actually leave us?

here's what we do know about aelwyn:

- of all the schools of magic, she went into abjuration

- the entire bbeg plan from season 1 hinged on aelwyn's complete faith that her level 1 sister was the most prodigious diviner in the world

- right after (?) the house party, she locked her memories where only adaine could find it with a note basically saying "theres so much bad blood between us but i know only you could find this"

- she desperately wanted to protect adaine and the fact that she was too afraid to do so made her hate herself (and her knowing that adaine now knows this is the turning point in their relationship)

- despite everything, even in the nmk forest, she still loved her parents

- the SECOND she is shown genuine love and affection and care from adaine, and adaine says whatever you do, i am here with you, all her actions from there forward are just about protecting adaine from their father, very nearly at the cost of her own life

- with what she probably thought were her last words (and would have been if adaine hadnt given her the tincture), all she wanted to communicate was how to help adaine and the bad kids, and how despite everything she had always believed in her

- at five levels of exhaustion, unconscious, she used her first spell slot after nine months of torture to build a shield around adaine

NOW we get to paladin!aelwyn. because, once everything is stripped away, the abuse and the control and the maladaption and the threats and the torture, EVERYTHING we ACTUALLY can glean about aelwyn's personality and inner core is that she's protective and devoted. and of course classes arent locked by personality, but that just screams paladin to me. its her WHOLE THING. adaine even says "wizards dont have heals, we dont care about other people" and of COURSE that isnt true for either of them, but? mechanically? aelwyn chose the wizard school that DID let her protect, and DID let her help, but i dont think, at this point, going forward, thats really going to be enough for her (and we could also talk about the parallels between them, how often adaine uses her portents to help other people)

i think a lot of the different reads on aelwyn come from this fundamental disconnect between her actions and displayed personality vs who she actually is and what she actually wants. and i think there are very different interpretations of what thats going to look like for her going forward. but i think, for a girl who's most hated characteristic about herself was her self preservation at the detriment of others, her perceived selfishness, and her fear ... isn't choosing to be braver and more selfless and more protective and shedding that self-preserving instinct for the betterment of others ... and MECHANICALLY being able to act on all those things ... the logical next step? i think its going to be a LONG TIME before aelwyn can love herself, but what other way is there to try? if adaine loves her, and adaine believes she can be better, isnt being better because she trusts adaine kind of a form of self love? saying, i dont believe in myself, but i believe in the person who believes in me, and maybe, in a roundabout way, thats the same thing. she was never able to TRY to be better before, because trying to improve even a little, even when people arent watching, when a harmful force has so much power over you and your actions ... like, the mental dissonance is honestly TOO much to even try, thats WAY more terrifying than letting yourself be bad, to the point where thats psychologically impossible for a lot of people. but now she actually has space and freedom and CHOICE and she CAN embrace the instincts she always had to shove down, she CAN be the person she knows her sister needed her to be

i dont know, i think theres an inherent love letter to yourself in wanting to be better and wanting to improve, even if you justify it by saying its for someone else. and now aelwyn actually CAN improve, and thats probably going to be extremely awkward and scary and there will be set backs and backslides for sure. but. i dont know. i think she wants to make up for lost time. because she never wanted the time to be lost in the first place. and if a protector is who she always wanted to be, whats stopping her from being that now?

[gayspock]

random ds9 thoughts like a month after i finished it

its funny who becomes my fave in retrospect and after i sit with it for some time btw. i came away from ds9, let it sit, bc now im like thinking. my god they did some really good groundwork with kira and she might have been one of my faves the more i think abt it but its like. isnt it all the more sad that, whilst she DID still get some really good episodes later on, exploring her and her situation, that they did sort of.. sighhhh it felt like her overall character arc sort of tapered a little like

her in the beginning. she really is an ex terrorist (by her own admission) whos won the war and now shes been forced into a bureaucratic position and there's exploration there on exactly what that means, how its what shes wanted and how she doesnt have to fight any more and she can help make progress, but also how sometimes thats at the cost of her own principles and directly against things she would have done before (like im thinking the episode progress in particular- i really liked that episode) as well as the delicate balance of her faith and keeping inline with that and doing whats good for bajor and for her people above else but also you know this newfound perspective ... its the way things become more complicated and the transition between fighting tooth and nail for something so singular with your life to the minutae of what it means to go forwards not just in the theory but in the practicality of what that actually means to do and its like. sighhhhhhhhhhh. i will forever be quite sad because whilst i obviously am so happy with all the plotlines the dominion brought in and how that opened the door its just such a shame that the more close, more "smallscale" (as if a planet could ever be such) politics of bajor really did get sort of . shifted off to the side and im not saying kira didnt develop and that those didnt change but i just wish theyd done better by it. like both bareil and shakaar didnt HAVE to be such shallow onscreen relationships and the thing is i dont minddd that i think ive said it before like. i dont mind if a character does just have a relationship thats kind of kept offscreen because whilst a very limited thing it can add something even if again limited BUT the thing is it jsut felt like. the fact they were both such important political presences and they just kinda got wasted? sighhhhhh sigh sigh bc in the end it jsut feels like. kira was floating around quite a lot which isnt bad and like i said she still gave some extremely good stories and was important in the show but it also felt she stagnated a little, like and i suppose you could argue well she did sort of find herself at peace by the end with her position between starfleet and bajor and it was more of a subtle growth from start to end and trueee but nonetheless babe like. potential was had here and its a shame and i think again it does also

like ok. odo/kira lets speak of itbc im weirdly like totally fuckin ambivalent to them at this point and i genuinely mean that like. so totally neutrally like ive said it before like: - started off hearing that it happened and i thought to ymself "thats insane and it doesnt work" - as a precursor to it happening, i did warm up to it a little in the sense of "i dont think they're right for each other but they do obviously care for and have been through stuff together and i think it makes sense if they end up in a relationship for misguided reasons as that would sort of align with them and how they may choose to interpet things before realising we're just besties" - to well i think you missed the opportunity to do that actually now its just been so long where youve had them in this awkward maybe zone and i feel like the aforementioned thing was only applicable to where they were as people at the time and now its les likely - to just: ehrm well i guess its happening? i guess? okay ehrm....

and its like the thing is NOWWW now now now im like. hm. i still just kinda feel neutral like "oh i guess theyre together?" and its like hey you know that can be fine frankly like. i dont think every relationship itself has to have intrigue necessarily - like i guess they CAN just be together, and it would only be annoying if they tried to like. used it and tried to make it more than it actually was which i dont think they did, at least not too much like. the show kind of just had it settled like yes theyre together. no we're not going to do some big tragic nightmare with them theyre just kind of vibing.

but that being said all that being said mannn i feel like... they should have done more with it. not in the sense of like them actually dating-dating like i dont careee abt that sort of thing if that makes sense like ehrm. what i mean is- and they did touch on it a bit - is that i sort of wish they'd use ti more to actually further them as characters if they were going to bother with it in the end like... odo technically being a cardassian collaborator. hi. they did do SOME stuff on that but also its jst like theres things like that where like... i DONT KNOW. and similarly its funny bc. i also kinda felt a little lukewarmish towards odo near the end in a very similar sense to kira bc i REALLY AM OBSESSED with him in the sense of , like- ok autistic king..... bc i did actually really come to love the parallels there and its like you know but i dont know . squints. it felt like he didnt get... the right sort of focus near the end- like he was doing stuff but i jsut wasnt that intrigued by the episodes and the stuff he was doing though granted. i think i need to rwatch some day in general bc i do get so fuzzy with stuff like that and i did get very loopy towards the end of ds9 so hrmm but

my point is idk man idk idk idk like. i jst feel like theres more they could have done and like i said im just not against their whole thing i guess if only... they could have done more with it bc i do think theres a balance to strike there yeah ? with both of them but honestly. anwyays

[sondepoch]

Dark kaebedo anon again owo off our regular topic of kaeya torturing albedo, I would honestly prefer Diluc being my handler (possibly because I'm down bad for him) but also because I feel like Kaeya loves to play games and I feel like I'd hate that! I'm more of a goal oriented person and I think Diluc is very straightforward so I'd just want to focus on being good for him and desperately trying to get any positive reaction out of him as much as possible *cough cough praise kink and daddy issues cough cough* >///> (sorry if this isnt coherent or its too explicit I've had a couple drinks)

hi hi! hope you're doing well bb <3 and no worries, i was able to read this and it's perfectly coherent :D

if you're someone who's good at following the rules and you aren't going to cause trouble, then diluc is definitely preferable to kaeya! he would never mess with a toy that's working properly, and he wouldn't rope you into any of the tedious games that kaeya would pull his assigned merchandise into...

on the downside, though, diluc doesn't believe in rewards </3

why should you get something for doing the bare minimum? are you really have the audacity to expect a treat for simply following orders? do you dare ask him for a present when he's already giving you the gift of not being punished like everyone else?

the very notion sounds stupid to him, and he tries to make that clear to any of the toys that bat their pretty lashes at him and try to (and fail to) squirm their way into his heart—but don't lose hope!! his guard is up against the brats who try to outright seduce him by earning his favor, mainly because even he isn't delusional enough to think that any of these toys actually like him, but try to stand out by gathering the approval of his clients?

now that's something that might gain diluc's attention.

and not even in a bad way!

it would be hard, but not impossible: all you'd need to do is be the perfect pet that he wants you to be, pleasing every client that you're ordered to open your legs for with sufficient enthusiasm that clients start to ask for you by name. smile sweetly enough at them that you manage to woo your way into their hearts, until clients are openly confessing their favor for you, allowing diluc to drive up the cost of a night with you. be a perfect little prostitute and act like you're happy to be there until your handler has heard nothing but perfect reports from each of your fucks—and only then will he approach you, asking you to meet him in his private room.

you'd have to be careful, then.

diluc is naturally a cautious man, and the only reason he'd call for you is to see what it is that has other clients so enraptured, so he can use you as a model for his other merchandise to strive for. his purpose in seeking you out would be purely clinical, solely to understand what it is about you that has all his clients raving and begging for more...and he'd fuck you through the night, giving you no repose, solely attempting to understand it all.

but at least you can be sincere when he fucks you, right? the moans that spill past your lips are genuine, now, and you do your best to get him addicted the same way all your clients are...

and it works.

and, really, why wouldn't it?

diluc is a man who allows himself to indulge so rarely, so when he lets himself loose on you for one night, it naturally turns into two, which turns into three, which turns into four and five and six and ten until you return to him every night to get your brain fucked out.

the only downside is that, now that your his best-trained slut, he'd never let you stop working. and even he isn't possessive enough to resist the urge to double your hours, thus doubling the income you bring him and effortlessly boosting his trafficking reputation.

maybe it's worth it, though, if he lets you crawl to his feet at the end of the day. if he lets you rest your sweaty head on his thigh and stare up at him with those same adoring eyes that you're forced to look at his clients with. if he lets you suckle on his cock til he cums down your throat, his final claim for the day and a wordless marker that you're his, he owns you, and it's him that you crawl to at the end of the day.

maybe it isn't. you know he only likes you for the way you use your body, and you being his best-trained toy means that you're constantly at risk for someone trying to buy you—and you know that, for the right price, even diluc would sell you off as long as he though he was getting more money in the end.

maybe you don't know whether it is or isn't worth it, so you continue to crawl back to him until you're as broken as you'd be under kaeya's games, except that you've managed to break yourself this time by trying to gain the affection of a man who'll only ever whisper "good girl" to you when he knows you won't be able to remember it in the morning.

but it's better than punishment, anyway. at least, that's what you think. you can't be too sure anymore, not when your brain is already starting to forget about anything that isn't for the sole purpose of pleasing diluc.

[corvidshipping]

cliff texting hcs even though i should be in BED cause i have an 8 hour shift tomorrow

he did not have a phone for the longest time. remember the last time he was really in society was like, the late 80s, when the only phones around were the kind that plugged into your wall or cost a quarter to use, hes not exactly used to the thought of carrying that around with him, let alone a phone combined with a calculator, music player, computer, camera... hes kind of grandpa about it lmfao

he finally got a phone after vic got after him for never being able to contact him when he needed him and always having to call jane or larry to get to cliff, but it was like... a dinky little old-style razr.

he broke it almost immediately (it was a genuine accident. the phone was tiny and it has little keys and he has large, difficult to control robot hands)

he refused to get a phone again for a while after that (”if you really need to get in touch that bad you can call the house. not like i get out much anyway”)

larry said he should try getting a smartphone since those are bigger and easier to use, but yknow uh, robot hands make it kind of hard to use a touchscreen meant for humans

something something joke about nokias being indestructible and maybe thats what he needs if hes gonna destroy phones

i want to bee leaf that he finally gets a new one partially bc of possum. not entirely but i mean... ghost gf who depending on their mood may not be able to speak, may not be visible. sure, they use the whiteboard he got them, but... isnt it a bit more convenient (and tropey) to get a text from your ghost gf who lives in the attic?

(haha, spirit phone joke)

also, there is something to be said about technology (and animals!) being canonically just a little more sensitive to sensing possum than most humans (for example, because his eyes are basically cameras wired to his brain rather than human eyes, cliff can see possum’s physical form a little longer than most humans when they de-corporealize). so when theyre having trouble speaking, theres a chance that the phone might be better able to pick up on their voice than someones ears (i mean, hes got robot ears but... listen man)

also, this means they could use the touchscreen of the phone potentially even when theyre not corporeal enough to be able to lift a dry-erase pen

so anyway, back on topic. he finally gets a new phone because vic wont stop asking him about it and it makes things just a tad easier for the ghost in the house thats unreasonably attached to him. its a slightly outdated android, definitely not the newest model but still functional and can run modern software well. vic VERY pointedly gets him an extremely durable case, maybe something developed at STAR even. who knows

larry got him a stylus bc he is the only one who remembered that, yknow, robot fingers, touchscreen. larry probably has issues with touchscreens too given the bandages. it was very sweet of him

he is. SO bad at texting. just in general

either responds in 2 seconds or 2 days no in between. definitely at least partially hinges on how much he likes you

really cares about having peoples contact photos for some reason?

(i think hes afraid of not having enough photos of people if he loses them again 🥺)

despite the stylus, his texts still L.       ook l ik E thIs. even autocorrect cant help him now

its getting better over time, though

speaking of autocorrect, definitely gets irrationally mad at it. the amount of times rita has had to talk him out of smashing his phone...

lockscreen is definitely an old photo of him and clara he found in chiefs files :(

do NOT tell this man about the emoji keyboard, he will overuse the SHIT out of them and wont know what half of them mean

(he just misses being able to make facial expressions a lot, okay?)

his message history with jane is definitely like this:

homegirl just does not respond to his texts, ever. its ok though he literally leaves vic on read ALL. THE. TIME just to piss him off

his phone ringtone is LOUD AS FUCK cause he cant leave it on vibrate bc he literally cannot feel the vibrations

bonus self indulgent hc: literally responds to possums texts in like 5 seconds flat. answers on the second ring every time she calls, no matter where he is or what hes doing. has possibly even picked up the phone for them in the middle of a fight.

[sollitudde]

haikyuu & cafes (1/?)

bigass creds to @luvoikawa with this post that inspired me to write too much nonsense about nonsense

all my writing got deleted edition 🐸 also jesus christ sorry this is super long i just really like cafes and drinkys and coffys...

karasuno

ukai

for a guy who gets up early every morning coffee is a must. canned coffee is his drink of choice for getting up and it’s one of his morning routines before starting work. he actually dislikes cafes because they have an atmosphere he isn’t too fond of and likes bars (enjoys shit beers = enjoys shit coffee) more- but he could go to a cafe when asked by his friends or if he’s going on a date, just don’t ask him about what type of coffee he’d like specifically because all he wants is it to be hot and black, no milk no sugar. when he was younger he actually disliked coffee, but with age he learned to 1. not be fussy about it 2. just tolerate it to pick him up. it’s not like he dislikes the tastes of it but i don’t see him as picking up oh many tannin inteiciasies cause he’s not developed a pallete, also gets the cheapest no fuss shit. prefers hot over cold even in the summer

for food, he doesn’t enjoy completely western menus. likes meat and doesn’t order any sweets like pastries and whatever the fuck, not only is it too expensive but also he’d just rather have the coffee unless he’s particularly hungry. like i said he isnt a cafe guy but life takes you to a lot of places so ☕️

takeda

actually can taste tanins like some sort of a legend. still though on a teachers salary you’re not going to have an espresso machine at home so he settles for his drip brew. actually doesn’t like espresso too much either if hes working at least. but since he is a teacher and a club supervisor he drinks 2 (two) of those shits a day, one in the morning from home one in the afternoon from the teachers lounge- needs it to deal with the energy at practice. takes just milk in his coffee and prefers it steamed, but has that shitty milk foamer thing that takes so much time to get results out of he just ends up drinking drip w cold milk; the workingmans choice.

with cafes and food he still enjoys drip brew (this time fancier) coffee with milk. could ask to taste test the plain bean coffee if he enjoyed his first cup so much. LOVES a pastry with his drink, if he goes there to do work will get a coffee and a pastry of any kind, i think he likes cream so expect him to get a cream puff esp if on a date cause then he gets to share it and be cute 🥴 loves a cafe hangout with friends or an s/o

kiyoko

pre time skip she did not need coffee at all. like her face at first says either only black coffee or shes so well adjusted she needs nothing and i’d say it’s the latter though i could debate. though she was an enjoyer of canned coffee milk later in life before having to consume coffee for life energy in her adulthood. nothing too fancy either though, small coffee machine that only she uses (tanakas a pussy!) for making coffee, pours milk and adds a teaspoon of sugar into it- doesn’t really like flavors cause to her they taste artificial. busy lady! so she can pick up some starbucks or sit down for a brief second and get coffee wherever she is, thinks it energizes her and also is an enjoyer of the novelty of steamed milk. it actually doesn’t buzz her ever even when she first starts drinking it so rather than having to drink more coffee as the tolerance builds up she just has a plateau of coffee give me caffeine boost

for cafes she just gets whatever looks good to her. also not the biggest fan of sweets rather than a good bread, enjoyer of plain croissants and good bread if she gets a sandwitch. who doesn’t love carbs

yachi

the sweet sugary drink enjoyer has arrived. didn’t even touch coffee until her 3rd year at college, tried a sip of black coffee from her friend in junior high and became instantly afraid of it- managed to skirt by college with a good schedule until the junior terror seeped into her veins and now her early classes she has to drink coffee for. but like she still gets good grades so it’s only the morning she’s required to partake in bean water for- doesn’t even do anything on weekends if she doesn’t have anywhere to be. at home she has 2 syrups 5 milks and overloads her drink so much she’s barely drinking any coffee at all, still the sugar and the hot stuff in the morning has an effect (placebo lol)

loves a starbucks for its accessibility, but gets refreshers and iced drinks more often than any of their caffeine. not only does she think it’s not worth it if she can make coffee at home, but she has a tiny cafe she goes to to cram that serves a mean lavender rose vanilla latte (fucking ew?) that shes in love with. but it costs a lot and she’s a rare visitor, gets sweets and small sandwitches if she goes. w friends she doesn’t know that well she’ll get a flavored coffee to seem mature&cute, but with old friends she’d rather drink a milk tea or a seasonal drink rather than bother w a latte (since she uses it to get energy if it’s 5pm and her day is nearly done whyd she need it then?) no 7-11 coffee or vending machine coffee (junior high trauma) rather sweets and candy if she’s buying from one

daichi

courtesy to @sugardaddykenma, i think daichi oinking his way to the top ended after he had a midlife crisis- so he stops drinking coffee the way he would at the pig pen. sorry ok enough puns but yeah i think he was drinking way too much coffee in both college and at his “job” so coffee now messes with his stomach so much he thinks he might have a heart attack if he drinks more than one cup a week. i don’t know if that directly makes sense but too much coffee can literally kill you and since now he doesn’t fear the revolution here’s another thing for his mind. no coffee, maybe like once if hes at a cafe with his friends but really really prefers plain tea more- especially as he gets older. likes green white and black teas rather than herbal cause caffeine, and doesn’t put sugar in either cause hes #real and genuinely enjoys the flavors more that way

doesn’t go to cafes except for reunions or hanging out with the boys, always more of a “what do they have to eat” rather a “what’s new and exiting to drink” boy. i actually think the only reason he does drink coffee occasionally is because sugawara teases him and also sometimes it’s easier to order something to not be embarassing and to live up to the expectation of a dilf on the prowl rather than well like. dilf drinking tiny mug of jasmine tea. surprisingly an atmosphere enjoyer, people talking all around him is comforting- though if he were to go there frequently he’d grown annoyed

sugawara

king of looking fuckable at a cafe. literally can’t drink coffee black and hates it but still uses it for that energy boost in the morning. has a cheap espresso machine (like 2nd hand and super busted) with a milk frother cause he can’t even drink coffee with just milk it’s so repulsuve to him, he’s gotta fancy it up with syrups & steamed liquids to get anything out of it. but like i said hes king of looking fuckable at a cafe and that’s cause he goes to them all the fucking time. to study to hang for dates like part of it is the ambience is unparalleled but also i mean 1. he likes looking hot 2. he can study 3. man idk hes just a little bitch that wants to look smarter than he actually is. literally in love with the concept of a meet cute so hes in there like “wow... i look so pretty and i’m reading such a big book won’t someone come talk to me”enjoys smiling at other hot patrons and the nines. i think he’d start banter only if you spilled a drink though or something happened hes not that confident to go up to someone full force, and well while he is there sometimes for the hell of it he does actually study there too cause it forces him to do something rather than fuck around on the computer at home. win win system

frequent cafe flyer and frequent cafe snack enjoyer. he’d much rather go for the small snacks like chips and nuts rather than big meal shit cause since his stuff is there he doesn’t wanna get anything on it, and would rather lounge back at home while eating anyways. frequent buys you a sweet on a date type of move, asks if you wanna give him a small bite but doesn’t actually enjoy most sweets that much. ICE LATTE ENJOYER but only when hes on the go or it’s summer, they make a mess when condensation happens.

asahi

hate to tell you folks, but you won’t find this guy in any cafes ever. if he needs to study in a public place he’d rather go to a library and if he can’t go there he’s just seriously gonna sit on the street if it’s the worst of it. can not only not handle cafes if it’s at full capacity, sugawara once shared his cafe strategies with him and now he overthinks whenever he steps foot into one. if he does enter a cafe it’s for a to go order of a cafe au lait (with soy milk, he got in the habit from ordering the wrong thing and never asking them to fix it) because espresso beverages give him anxiety, and add anxiety with a lot of people there it’s just no good and he becomes nervous. he does relax when his friends are there though, and a la p5 enjoys a quiet cafe at night the best. he like herbal teas without sugar (maybe some honey) and aromatic tea blends, but not refresher like beverages at starbucks

since he doesn’t sit down and eat at cafes hes not getting anything substantial, but has a pertulance for sweet stuff! nothing too big but if he gets something sweet with his coffee (and he does get coffee out a lot actually i feel i should clarify. it’s the devil wears prada influence and if you’re a fashion designer chance is you need to go somewhere fast so he needs the energy to power walk and actually ends up picking up coffee for his crew sometimes)

nishinoya

oh christ dude if he got coffee while in high school he’d go fucking insane. way too much current energy + caffeine is such a bad combination- but i think he’d never step into a cafe until his world traveling days. in which case i mean like first of all if you are traveling you’re going to have to keep a tight schedule unless you’re like rich as fuck and can afford to leisure around, and i think he does have some savings but at the same time if he’s himself he’s very likely running around- in summary, cafe visits very dépendant on the culture. cafe dates and cafe stops to get a pick up i think would be the most common stuff here, and coffee would be only used as a wake up i need more energy tool

with food i mean going to a great underground cafe is a right of passage if you’re traveling so i’m sure hes tried all sorts of shit and also hes a big eater, so i can see him getting whatever looks the craziest. big coffee ice cream enjoyer but like i said that’s just to wake up & i think there’s better places to get better juice (& international soda) than a hole in the wall coffee place. did someone say italian sodas or do i have to get my hearing checked

tanaka

man this guys a pussy. thinks starbucks is the fancy coffee place even though it’s a chain and can’t enjoy a non sweetened coffee- even sweetened coffees are a bust. honestly also is too concerned about caffeine being able to “hinder” him, it’s not going to kill you or make you crazy but probably saw someone go balls off the walls with it and is too pussy to try it himself because he thinks he’s so energetic already it’ll make him turn super saiyan. very big enjoyer of a juice, a smoothie, or a refresher again if we’re going from starbucks’ menu. actually yeah it the place offers smoothies he definitely gets that 100% no questions asked, cause it’s the one sweet he can permit himself because he actually thinks it’s healthy when the only reason it “is” is because it’s fruit. does not enjoy the vibes whatsoever and is kinda spooked by everyone drinking coffee in coffee drinking establishments. his wife is more of a man than him in that regard but he can take it

cafe foods aplenty though! likes to walk in and run to get smth and leave, cause it’s less effort than making something and more effort than going to a convenience store. actually has this thing where he picks wifey dearest up snacks he thinks she’ll like. before that he used to scoff at them but now seeing as shes a frequent patron and he is married to her he’s all like look at this treat i bought for you at (blank). it’s kinda sweet! plus he prolly gets a takeout drink for himself too so win win

ennoshita

physical therapy is a lot of work! sorry for the lack of substance for this guy but like a normal adult i think he is normal with his coffee consumption. aka- drinks it to get up, and when hes tired. i think he has a particular interest in trying new things though and will get whatever is interesting to him or something that is weird on the menu like a pumpkin chocolate latte or some shit like that that is unusual but still tasty. adventurous and also you can’t tell at all that hes had coffee, acts completely the same and people even tell him he should drink some coffee cause of the low energy. hes had two cups already and that’s enough!

kinoshita

i think this guy just doesn’t like coffee for whatever reason. he seems like the type of dude to just not drink it and instead go for something energizing in the form of tea or an energy drink but not bean juice, just a vibe! enjoys a cafe every once in a while but goes rarely, i mean hes just chilling! there is a place that hes gone to that he is now an irregular regular of that has a tea infusion of different berries and ingredients that’s meant to clear up your sinuses and calm you. they don’t sell it in packets and hes disappointed about that but the very reason it exists at all is because it’s made out of fresh chopped shit and spices, also it’s a gimmick. they serve them in tea pitchers and he stays there and reads until he finishes. it’s the little things!

kazuhito

writing got erased again but like literally just think of a guy. a guy that works at a company who has to go to work everyday so yeah he drinks coffee and the chances of it being instant are very high. actually doesn’t know that starbucks is a chain and just has the regular drip coffee machine at home, probably takes it with milk and sugar and whatever is there at the time. relaxed guy and relaxed preferences

kageyama

dude doesn’t even know what coffee is to be completely honest. well no that’s a lie he definitely tried some but it made him jittery and he can’t be jittery or else he’s not doing perfect tosses, so no can do. like i know the milk joke is old but i don’t think the habit stops at high school i genuinely think unless one of his teammates or someone with him is like no getting milk or they don’t just serve raw milk because who the fuck would he maybe gets a milk tea at most. honestly not a fan of sugary drinks such as juice or refreshers and whatnot nor iced drinks because well hes just a weirdo. if you take him to a sbucks or somewhere else either order him a london fog or water or a cup of milk if you want your cashier to have something funny to tell. he likes matcha lattes but since they’re high caf he only gets them on off days and like when does he have those? never. genuine weirdo

okay for food it’s anything goes but i think thr funnier thing to talk about would be the amount of time it takes him to read a menu. literally can’t decide on anything especially if a place is out of stock well hes gonna be out of comission for a few minutes as he reconsiders. asks what this has and what’s in this if it’s not listed so it’s really best to just pick smth for him, plain simple and he won’t have any complaints and just sit down w you.

hinata

actually got fond of espresso in brazil but still prefers juices and shit to actual caffeinated beverages. they don’t make them like they used to there 😔 but he does get lattes. LOVES coconut milk and nut milks cause they have an “oomph” (what?) but honestly anything goes kind of guy in where he can get coffee out of a machine at a convenience store starbucks a cafe anything anywhere no problem. thing is though he can only consume it in a short amount of time aka just the morning or else he’s unable to sleep at night, a thing that is most definitely a placebo but like he believes on it so insistently that he just doesn’t mess with it. is a fan of anything new and anything that catches his interest in coffee places, likes to pick stuff up rather than sit down cause he’s a fan of walking and talking and drinking

pastry guy :) or just anything breaded. again likes to pick whatever catches his interest cause he became more adventurous with food for sure, enjoys a sandwitch or some shit i mean you get the point i think. he’s just a funny little guy

tsukishima

honestly? cant fucking drink black coffee. i think it’d be so funny and well also fitting that if he does drink anything he does drink super sugary sweet stuff, like i mean we know he enjoys sweets anyways so why not push it further and say this motherfucker can’t handle tanins at all? and like by all i mean he has to have tea with milk and sugar no matter what it is (well not herbal tea 🍵 that’s an emoji of a green tea but herbal tea never should be enjoyed with milk) his go to is a hot matcha latte and a cold iced vanilla latte. cause both are sweet and make him look a little less pussy when ordering them. straight up will chug purely black coffee out of spite and suppress gags to seem cool, it’s okay tbough hes so far only worried about this happening in front of friends and it hasn’t yet. he has practiced at home though and he can so far not gag but still squint, which he’s thinking if he has to explain will explain by “well uh it tastes like shit so”

i don’t think he needs coffee to get up but instead does need something sweet. since cake doesn’t last a while i’d see him trying to buy some for himself discreetly like i know this dude isn’t a pussy but also imagine being so hard and then being made fun of for eating a cake alone by yourself in a cafe. doesn’t order sweets therefore unless hes in a private room or with a trusted friend. yamaguchi won’t tell on you bro in fact he’ll order the cake and let you have it. doesn’t like any savory thing on the menu for some reason, no matter the place he goes

yamaguchi

actually enjoys tanins but chugs cheap shitty coffee for energy no matter the time of day. he just got used to the lack of taste and definitely grabbed a caffeine addiction to add to his problems to worry about but it’s okay cause hey while he’d never say it he thinks it’s better to be able to taste them and enjoy a normal cup of good beans than to be like his unnamed friend. enjoyer of the whole menu, entirely dependent on the mood. focusing, straight espresso shots, reading, matcha or peppermint tea, vibing, lemonade or lemonade mixture idk you name it. very into cafe energy and feels good whenever he enters one, but doesn’t do it out of neccesity cause once he did actually have someone slightly hit on him at a cafe and he stopped going to it because he interacted with them very awkwardly. is sure the baristas heard and just can’t do it anymore. has pulled all nighters and 24-hr study sessions in internet cafes chugging coffees like a motherfucker. hasn’t yet poured a redbull into coffee yet but i mean it could be coming we never know (nah hes afraid of it)

not a fan of ordering stuff in cafes at all cause hes not there to eat. can be persuaded for a bite if friends are there but if not then hes avoidant of foods. you can’t blame him! it’s kind of awkward to order food at a coffee place anyways so he just steers clear

[blookmallow]

hello who wants to look at terrible, terrible sexy halloween costumes with me (these are ALL from yandy.com)

im trying not to do too many of the ones every other site’s already mentioned but i cant not acknowledge the sexy mail in ballot and sexy hand sanitizer 

like.... why though. and why is the hand sanitizer 78 dollars 

its the same model here too why did you have to do this to her 

oh NO 

the tiny fucking hat is what really gets me here it looks like it was photoshopped on at the last second  

i genuinely dont understand this trend of “sexy nerd”/”sexy schoolgirl” costumes its like one of the most common categories despite being... either themed for “outfit a little girl would wear to school” or like, a weird Nerd Stereotype that isnt even really relevant anymore

also this one doesnt even look good like some of them are stupid ideas that at least makes for an interesting look but this fails at being sexy or looking good or looking like the thing its trying to be

theres also several “sexy girl scout” costumes, which is even more blatantly sexualizing children, but Sure, Okay,

still A Child!!!!!! i GUESS the musical depicts wednesday- sorry, i mean friday. i mean, mid-week honey. as an adult but thats the way less common image of her 

and if you want to be a sexy addams, morticia is like, right there 

AGAIN!!! STILL A FUCKING CHILD also these are the worst dorothy costumes i have ever seen. who is responsible for this. who looked at these designs and was like, yeah, that’ll be good. people will pay like $70 - $80 for this

noOOOOOOOOOOOO

sfdjkadg IM LOSING MY MIND IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE 

i dont know why this was in the sexy category theres a ton of mis-categorized random shit in here too but mostly im just laughing at “angry top hat costume” 

like “mad hatter” isnt even copyrighted its public domain

maybe its because this one in particular looks like disney’s mad hatter but still 

charitable robin???????

a... sexy... tariff? ? ? ?? ? ?? ? ? ? ??? also this originally cost 60 FUCKING DOLLARS for a costume that looks terrible and doesnt even make sense 

fsdgj SORRY THIS IS SO FUNNY, 

Very Cool Vampire Costume 

i also like how he’s just wearing jeans under it too, very classy 

theres a LOT of sexy cruellas for some reason. like i think more than anyone else and i dont know why (though there were a lot of things that might have been supposed to be maleficent and i genuinely couldn’t tell) 

hi i hate this 

theres a lot of really bad sexy chuckies but the fact that they decided to call this one “playtime toddler” while still making her sexy really is something 

ah, yes. cave women. known for wearing 6 inch stiletto heels 

[dumbassscout]

i see a lot of 13 yr olds on tumblr these days, so id like to share some advice i wish i had known using tumblr at age 13.

this is also probably not an original idea from me lol, someone has got to have done this before. i would usually put this under a cut but ive decided not to for now

be aware that this site is like NOTORIOUSLY harmful. you may think you’re above it or too mature for it to hurt you, but trust me, you aren’t. since you will probably not be stopped by that warning, maybe take some precautions/keep some stuff in mind to stay safe.

i had tumblr savior for my first experiences with the site. im pretty sure it still works and it’s regularly updated, so take a look into that. it blocks posts with certain keywords from being seen on your radar, and can also push/allow posts with other keywords to always be shown. i would advise getting it or a similar extension to custom block triggering/harmful content.

don’t put other/more popular users in your fandom/community on a pedestal. they’re people behind a blog, just like you are. don’t feel intimidated by the people in your own community, they are just people the same way you are a person. they can mess up at times, and so can you.

making friends is a great thing on this site, but keep an eye on new online friends’ behaviors. it is exciting to meet new people, but you want to be aware of toxic friends. same goes for your mutuals. overall, keep people on this site at an arm’s length until you’ve gotten to know them enough personally to know that they’re genuine people. as you get older you can relax on this, but as a young teen it’s better to be hyperaware than to be blissfully ignorant as you get hurt.

onto more broad things, your theme doesn’t have to be perfect. you dont have to make a custom html/edited html website theme for your blog, you can leave it as tumblr default. if you enjoy organizing that, then by all means go ahead! but don’t feel like it is necessary for your blog, most of the time you will get a new theme set up and check on it on a month and find that it actually looks terrible to you. if you’d rather just have it as a basic/default site, then that is perfectly normal.

your blog’s theme/topic is your choice, and can be uniquely you. some people have many blogs for many things, just a few, or just one with everything. it is up to you how you want to do it! the themes you choose, topics, are up to you. fads and trends are cool but finding what works for you personally is way more fun. your blog is supposed to be fun. you are supposed to enjoy using tumblr. don’t compromise that for a trend. make your blog(s) however you want, however it pleases you. it can feel pressuring to have a perfect blog, but it’s better to just make your appearance the way it would make you happy.

also, tag systems are awesome! but they are not necessary unless you’re tagging trigger warnings. always tag those! but i know a lot of people have personal tagging systems to organize their blog, which is totally cool! but again, personal tag systems are not necessary, and if they feel unnecessary to you, don’t use them. but again, tag triggering content, especially if you are asked to.

archiving/deleting/creating new blogs is a whole other process. some people like to start with a clean slate every time they switch to a new fandom, and let their old user be archived or deleted. this is perfectly respectable (and probably the right thing to do) personally, i just switch my blog over to whatever im feeling that month and people can unfollow if they no longer enjoy my blog (i dont have that big of a following on this blog). it’s really a personal decision, and if you want to restart your blog you will know when to/if you want to.

reblog art, but never “repost” it. aka dont take the image and post it on your own blog, just reblog it from the original poster. its common sense but not everyone knows? idk

if you end up having some or many followers, make sure to check yourself. appreciate your followers, respect them. they are people with blogs. just like you. don’t let a high number inflate your ego way out of proportion, it’s easy to fall into that sense of power.

respect people’s pronouns. even if you for some reason have a disagreement with them, or you don’t understand why/how their identity works, just use the correct pronouns that they ask you to. it costs you zero dollars and zero cents, and is incredibly respectful

as a young teen, don’t get involved/let yourself get buried in tumblr-wide discourse. examples of this include the bi vs pan debate, flag discourse etc. most ppl who i know who were attentive to things similar to that at a young age ended up being affected negatively by it. pay some attention to what pertains to you and also pay attention to what you can identify as right or wrong, but don’t let people’s opinions on your dash influence you in times of discourse. go and look at both sides of those kinds of debates if you’re interested, and form an opinion from there.

speaking of which, sometimes people will just post their takes on literally anything and youll come across it. take everything with a grain of salt unless there is links to proof (if applicable, not always needed). sometimes bad takes just havent had someone to reblog and disprove yet.

speaking of discourse, there is always discourse on this site in every fandom, every community. form your own opinions always, but keep your moral compass in mind. don’t compromise your morals and sense of right and wrong to enjoy certain fan-media. if something seems off, it probably is.

people make mistakes, and if someone did something kind of shitty/had a terrible take/belief (not irredemably shitty, those ppl do not need ur attention) and they genuinely apologize for the shit they did and learn from it, move on. leave some shit in the past, holding grudges isnt good for your mental health and people change. but again, always take things with a grain of salt.

you dont need a high follower count to get traction on your posts. it might help, but you can have a low follower count with high interaction or a high follower count with little to know interaction. the best advice i have is to tag what it is relevant to, whether it’s a fandom, aesthetic, etc and people who regularly check those tags will find it.

if you ever get anon hate for some reason, just delete it from ur inbox n move on. ppl who send anon hate want to see you post it and respond to it. if they said some really really MEAN shit though, it may be best to talk to a friend about it for comfort, or take a break from tumblr for a hot min. most importantly, report it, close your ask box/change it to no anonymous asks.

if at some point you choose to voice your opinion about a highly debated topic at the time, be aware that people who disagree might attack you for it. be aware, and be safe about it.

a lot of people swear by xkit. i have never used it in my life, but from the looks of it, it makes using tumblr so much more bearable. it breaks sometimes with tumblr updates, but apparently it’s worth it. again, look into it, but it’s not necessary to use the site.

do niche shit. start sideblogs without a plan in mind. make aus, make art, make writing, or make nothing at all. reblog the things you love wherever you want them to be reblogged. comment on people’s creations if you love them, they probably would love to hear how much you enjoyed it. appreciate how wonderful the better part of this site is, enjoy the free access to view and appreciate others’ creations and ideas.

i would put a lot more on here, but i feel like 20 is probably too much already. if anyone has anything to add, definitely rb with ur addition

overall, do the things you love on here, keep yourself safe, and be respectful of others.

[wickymicky]

you know, i used to say that Egoist or Hi High were my number one favorite kpop songs (it went back and forth, i think i was most vocal about Egoist being my number one but there were times when i felt like it was Hi High), but like... idk... like aside from So What, i feel like i’ve barely listened to Loona at all so far this year, and honestly it’s been like six or seven months, maybe eight or nine, since i regularly listened to Loona every day (again, aside from So What).... i’ve listened to Egoist, a song that i considered my favorite kpop song hands down for the majority of the time i’ve been into kpop, like ten times this year and that’s it... and some of those times were because i had the thought “oh jeez i havent listened to this song in a long time, i should do that... i’m betraying it...”

i wonder if i only kept saying/thinking that egoist is my favorite kpop song because i said it once and i had to stick to it... i think its pretty clear to any mutuals i have that my actual favorite kpop song is something like picky picky though, a song i actually post about all the time and listen to really frequently...

:/

so yeah, there’s no easy way to say this, but it really feels like i’m hanging on to Loona out of a sense of loyalty more than anything else :( it’s hard to put into words but listening to Loona feels kinda different these days. knowing more about how they decided things on the fly and how rushed the selection of the final members was (and how little the members were told) kinda... like... doesn’t it change how you listen to a song like New or Egoist? it certainly gives a lot more context to Yves being really shy in those first loonatvs she was in... and Olivia’s experience with her debut was such a whirlwind, like, she was just kind of thrust into the group... i have soooo much respect for all the members for being able to handle it, and i think it’s a fuckin miracle that it worked and they ended up with twelve incredible members, all of whom are so talented and any group would be lucky to have them, but even still just... some of the fun is lost a little bit for me. and I can’t listen to Everyday I Love You, one of my favorite Loona songs, without thinking of how much Vivi’s potential has been wasted. it turned a song that i have fun while listening to into one that makes me frustrated or sad. 

for whatever reason, i feel less of that when listening to ot12 stuff, even if some members get shit for lines, tho tbh, and this is a really hot take and i’m sorry... but i’m really mostly just into their three title tracks (and Favorite i guess), i rarely listen to their bsides.. they don’t hit me the same way, i guess. anyway though it’s the predebut stuff that makes me frustrated or sad. i cant help but empathize and think of what they must be feeling in the predebut era... happiness and excitement sure, but also nervousness, anxiety, stress, etc... the one by one debut concept was novel and it ended up working out in a sense, but at what cost? it was able to work out because the yyxy members were brought in at the last minute, Hyeju literally with only like 24 hours before they were gonna reveal the next member, and with all the changes we know about like Vivi probably being intended to be in OEC and things like that, and trainees that BBC had who for whatever reason ended up being rejected also probably at the last minute in favor of the yyxy members who were brought on... sigh... idk

it feels like it’s getting harder and harder to be a fan of this group, too. as they get more popular and more recognition, the fandom is growing, and with that comes a lot more drama, none of which i particularly care about (aside from the stuff relating to the group itself, as i’ve been talking about). they got their first win, and i was happy at the time, but... i’m worried about their future. it’s not that i wish they didnt get their first win, it’s just... i hope this doesnt make BBC feel validated in overworking and over-controlling them, you know? i want to believe that a lot has changed for the better since after Butterfly, especially when Jaden Jeong left, but we just have no way of knowing that for sure. there’s evidence for both sides, so at the end of the day, all we can do is speculate, and that doesnt really help anything. 

it sucks to admit this to myself but i feel like i’m losing interest in this group because of all this. whenever i’ve watched loona content from the So What era, sometimes they do seem happy, but even then there’s this feeling that they’re stressed and tired. are they happy? again, we can only speculate, so it’s best not to, but i cant stop my idiot brain from assuming the worst and picking up on signals that might not even actually be there, it’s just confirmation bias. maybe i only feel like theyre not at 100% because i’m already worried theyre not at 100%, you know? hmmm. also, i just... don’t think i feel the same connection with this group that i used to. maybe i never really did, tbh. they were my first group, my introduction to kpop, and i genuinely love some of their stuff still, but i feel like as i’ve gotten sooooo much more understanding of this whole kpop industry and i can put loona’s discography in context with aaaaaallllllll the other kpop songs i’ve listened to.... i feel like a lot of their stuff hasn’t aged as well as i would want, for me. you know how sometimes you wonder how much of what you like is really stuff you like, and how much is only because other people like it so you subconsciously feel you have to too? well, at first i would have said i genuinely love all of it and i could explain why, but idk i think i was convincing myself of some of it... as ive found more stuff that i genuinely love, it becomes clearer what are my things and what arent, you know? when i only knew 30 kpop songs and had 5 super-favorites, it was easier to overestimate some things, but now that i know hundreds and have a really deep pool of super-favorites, some of that early stuff i found is overshadowed, i guess. maybe egoist isnt as special to me anymore cause like.. at the time, i hadnt heard many kpop songs like it, but now... i have. and some of them do what it does just as well................. if not better............... sigh, i feel like im punching my past self in the gut

if this hurts you to read cause you’re a huge orbit, trust me, i know what you mean, it hurts to admit this. it kinda sucks to realize that you’re slowly losing interest in something you once loved and was incredibly important to you. 

oh and by the way, when i talk about losing interest, i dont mean that i dont care about loona anymore lmao, i just mean theyre going from my number 1 or 2 or 3 spot down to like my number 5 or 6 or 7 spot haha, alongside other groups that i like a lot but don’t follow the same way i follow my ults. so like even if i continue feeling this way about them, theyre still one of my favorite groups lol. like i guess i would kinda place them around where i would place twice or another group like that in my top 10? anyway... i just had to get this all off my chest. it started out being a post just about egoist and kinda hi high too, but then i realized i had a lot more to say haha, sorry. hopefully this doesnt upset anyone, idk, i hope you understand where im coming from :(

[unreliable-narrator]

would u slaughter me if i asked u to do all of them. all of the greek goddess asks

i spare u from slaughter and do all of them

aphrodite - who do you love most in this world?

i love a lot of people and i love a lot of things so this is a hard question but i love my mom and i love my cat and my friends and-

hebe - what’s you’re fondest memory from childhood?

ok ill expose myself. playing roblox w my first online friends when i was like 9 and roleplaying all casually was really my peak i was so happy!!!

melpomane - what is your favourite song?

i love a lot of music. just an absurd amount. it really depends on any given moment but i think ill give the general award to “it only gets much worse” by nate ruess because i love that song so much. or darkside by shinedown. or lg fuad by motion city soundtrack.

nike - what are you most proud of?

it was the summer of 2018. i was going crazy on farming simulator 17. i found all 100 gold nuggets in 3 hours on the bonus hunt for 1000000 in-game dollars. god save my soul

thalia - who can always make you laugh when you’re feeling sad?

@avothoto and @madpanda14 are both peak comedians and i love them very much

urania - do you believe in astrology? why/ why not?

the logical part of me would love to say no but there’s that part of my brain thats like...what IF....i can’t lie on this post or ill get called out. i know too much about astrology. i need to know people’s signs. i always know what season it is. i wish i didnt. help

selene - would you rather the sky had no moon or no stars?

i’d rather keep the stars at all costs. the stars are everywhere and they are bright and their dust makes up all of us and they’re beautiful and we as a species have done so much with them. that being said i love the moon and i think if we got rid of either the moon or the stars there would be like? physical consequences? maybe we should keep them lmao

polyhymnia - do you belong to a religion? which one?

i do not but i do believe in a general deity or higher power that i refer to as the Universe

pheme - which celebrity do you find most inspirational?

ngl i have absolutely no idea. i love celebrities but like i don’t know their life stories? i dont know who is inspirational and who isnt srtjhksdfjsdfgjhk

hecate - if you were a witch, what kind of animal would your familiar be?

i KNOW its a cheap answer but 100% a cat. specifically, my cat, peanut butter. she’s a bastard and would currently be laying in front of me if she had not been whisked away to bed only a moment ago. she’s 11 years old, she has no teeth, and certainly no braincells

clotho - do you want children? what do you want to call them?

NOT GONNA LIE w/ the right wife i think i might like some kids. i go crazy for kids. they’re so small. as for names? good question all i know if i love traditionally masuline names for girls and i’d definitely name a son Daniel and i have no logical reason

artemis - are you a vegetarian/ vegan?

nope

athena - do you have a favourite piece of art? what is it?

i don’t know art at all. i know absolutely nothing about art actually. however i’ll take this opportunity to say that everything ever drawn by @buzzybez is the most beautiful and talented thing ive ever seen 

enyo - do you get angry easily? 

no but i DO get unhealthily angry at small things that have no relevance so there is that

harmonia - if you could learn to play any instrument, what would it be?

oh my god the drums 100% i’ve always wanted to learn but i have no idea what drums even. do. aren’t they just for the background? how do drums work? what’s sound?

hestia - would you rather live in the countryside or the city? why?

not to sound gay or anything but i dream of cooking eggs for my wife while the window of our ranch house is open and i can hear the animals outside but also sitting on the fire escape with my wife looking over the streets. maybe what we’ve learned from this is that i want a wife

hygenia - are you a tidy person?

not particularly my room is cluttered and small but it is cozy and entering gives you a sleepy buff

nyx - when was the last time you stayed out past midnight?

probably never. i genuinely can’t remember it’s 8pm right now and it’s already my bed time late night is Not Lexi Hours

hehe that was fun thank u very much <3

[caden]

i feel we should examine the whole idea of “do spoilers matter” or not at a deeper level then ‘people who complain about spoilers are annoying so spoiler warnings are stupid’. like the idea that a lot of you guys seem to have of “if having the plot spoiled ruins the movie for you then the plot wasnt any good anyways” seems sort of... not fully wrong but also underdeveloped to me. like, there are tons and tons and tons of stories that are widely considered to be amazing and have clear artistic merit that you absolutely wouldn’t want spoiled. Like, you wouldnt want to know darth vader was lukes father. you wouldnt want to know bruce willis was a ghost the whole time. For drama to be effective you need tension, and a very very efficient way of keeping the audience engaged is by putting them in a mindset where they’re unsure of what will happen next, or by revealing a game-changing plot twist, or by suddenly putting a character into an unexpected position. It seems totally disingenuous to me to be like ‘well it shouldnt matter to the audience whether or not they get to be surprised by what happens in the film they’re watching’. You can’t honestly believe that to be true. Being able to be surprised by a story is like one of the fundamental draws of good storytelling and probably has been for all of human history. Imagine how much worse US or Get Out or any Shakespeare play would be if you knew exactly where the plot would go before you saw it. I know there’s some research that suggests people actually enjoy stuff more if they already know what will happen but you can cast a lot of doubt on that data-- i think that it indicates more that people are more likely to appreciate a good plot once they understand it more thoroughly, hence why you might like a great movie more the second time you watch it. That doesnt mean there isnt value in the first time, it’s just a different way of viewing it.

All that said, the stuff with people not wanting spoilers for endgame has different wrinkles to it. (dont worry im not about to spoil anything). It can’t all be chalked up to ‘people care super deeply about the characters and plot and the writing is always so unpredictable and engaging that they dont want to know a single thing before going in’. Ive spent a lot of time recently thinking about the way infinity war and endgame are constructed, and they’re made in such a way that REALLY facilitates them being ‘spoiled’. because they’re written around moments. The plot isn’t so much a naturally moving thing with motivations and momentum of its own as much as a connective tissue between various cool things happening. Like, whoa, spider-man just met the guardians of the galaxy. oh sick, theyre in wakanda. holy shit, half of them died. Endgame goes REAAAAAALLY hard on this style of writing. And as a method of milking emotion from the audience, it really really works. Assuming the moments themselves are all effective, you’re guaranteeing constant engagement because every three minutes another epic thing is gonna happen. And I think when people fault marvel fans for being obsessed with spoiler warnings, this style of filmmaking is really what they’re trying to critique. because there’s a suggestion that if your movie is just jumping from crazy twist to shocking death to funny reference to epic fight, you’re losing the thing that should actually be the connective tissue of a film-- its themes, character arcs, ideas, setting... etc. And while I personally don’t think those things are mutually exclusive, (bc i do believe that infinity war and endgame genuinely have themes they try to discuss), i would also agree with the argument that reliance on shocking moments over actual ideas is bad writing. But as I mentioned earlier, a filmmaker like Jordan Peele whose works are generally agreed to be very good also uses this writing style-- his plots escalate via twists and turns and are expertly constructed to keep the audience wondering what’ll happen next, and he does a really great job with it. 

Now, i DEFINITELY think there’s an argument for ‘disney intentionally plays up the spoiler warning angle in a way that’s ultimately toxic to the filmmaking process’. Like I don’t believe that the “tom holland doesnt get to read the script” stuff is true, I 100% think it’s all a publicity stunt-- but they shouldnt be setting a precedent that makes people think doing something like that to a lead actor is acceptable. It’s not how films should be made, and the only reason I’m sure its all fake is because I have enough filmmaking experience to know itd literally be impossible to efficiently shoot a big-budget film under those conditions. Of course all the buzz about endgame spoilers is HUGELY beneficial to their marketing teams, so obviously they’re gonna go hard as hell on enforcing that narrative. Like they 100% WANT everyone to both be spoiling the movie and getting anxious about having the movie spoiled, because its all free advertising for them. But in terms of ‘big movie studios having greedy practices that harmfully affect the artistic process and make their films worse’, its incredibly low on the list of bad stuff that studios do imo. 

So, like, if you’re gonna critique all the various aspects of that, I think you should A) put your efforts towards exposing all the spoiler panic through the lens of how it affects the way that films are produced and consumed, or B) put your efforts towards analyzing the media itself, watch the film and ask ‘is this film more engaging and well-made because of its reliance on moments that can be spoiled? If no, why is that not working? If yes, is that engagement coming at a cost or is it justified? Essentially, I’d like to feel that the criticism was either coming from a social angle or an artistic one. And if that were the case I think i’d have less of an issue with it. Just saying “people are dumb for caring about spoilers” is silly. Maybe it’s dumb, but that’s not the point. People will consume media however they want to and if they want to care about spoilers then they have a right to care. You guys aren’t wrong if you think marvel shit is stupid and badly made, because art is subjective and no opinion on it is wrong. But other people also aren’t wrong for liking and caring about it, and being like ‘we should spoil it for them to teach them a lesson” is gross and totally unproductive. I know 99% of it is jokes but you gotta remember that some people have spent a very long time being very excited to see this movie and doing something that wrecks that for them is just mean and inconsiderate. It’s not about whether them feeling that way is stupid or not, because yeah, it’s stupid to be that invested in superhero movies. It’s about it not being cool to intentionally hurt someone just because you can. And the reason i don’t have a lot of tolerance for it is because I feel like saying “caring about spoilers is stupid” is a kneejerk, surface level attempt at media criticism and we can do better. I obviously care pretty deeply about the way we consume and criticize pop culture and i think it’s in everyone’s benefit to have more productive discourse about this stuff. No ill will towards my friends who are saying the things that i’m ragging on, i obviously don’t think it’s coming from a malicious place or anything-- this is just my read on the situation. Was gonna post this like two days ago but then decided someone would prob message me a spoiler because of it lol

[thetruejesterofgenocide]

i dont know what to call this honestly “am i sleep deprived or just feeling deprived without her ?”

THIS IS ALOT OF READING WARNING NOW )welllll here i am its 1:00 in the morning about and im just sorta sitting here thinking ya know ? like about life and like what i wanna do with my life and im left with a question. why in gods green earth do my thoughts still fall to you hmm ? cause honestly i dont know you've moved on to somebody new and so have i yet im coming to realize im the only one who isnt happy in this situation i dont love her hell i barely like her haha .. you see up until this point ive just been doing what everyone has been telling me” too do get over you , be happy , find someone else “ haha little does everyone else know im a fucking mess you know though dont u ? i bet you know alot more then u let on haha you have always been able to read me like a book honestly u might not even read this now that i think about it cause god only knows the last time you checked my tumblr but fuck it im gonna write it anyway like i was saying ive just been doing what people tell me to do and well im fucking sick of it but it doesnt seem like i can do anything about it so ive just been biding my time and thinking playing my mask as well as i can to everyone else ya know ? cant have people realizing im a manic depressive freak ( amongst other things ) haha this is probably the last time i might ever mention this topic cause like i told u i would and well i sound pretty damn psychotic now that im sitting here reading this so if anything it prob is just gonna scare u so im sorry but let me stop rambling and just get back on topic and type what i was gonna type if the person who this was intended for gets this far then well thanks and this is what i actually wanted to say

 “ honestly i dont know what to do anymore i miss u so fucking much its honestly wild but i cant tell u that now can i ? your happy with him he makes you smile i dont know how deeply that thrives in you but it seems special to you so ive been accepting of it cause you may be my ex but you where my best friend first so my first thought has been to make sure your happy haha and ik you want me to be happy to and well im trying hah it isnt working but i am trying for you ya dork haha but well ya let me get on with what im saying is i felt like i was loosing my mind before i met u i had no drive to do anything at all till you came along and when u did god damn did u hit me like a fucking mac truck beautiful funny relaxing charming ( yes girls can be charming ) smart trust me i could go on for hours but to put in simply you where well like me in a way u understood me and i understood u in a sense but in a more proper sense i didnt understand a damn thing about u and maybe thats what brought me to u you where a fantastic puzzle of a person this shell of faked joy and excitement to cover up a more delicate inside that had been hurt one too many times  and i could tell u just wanted a friend someone that wouldnt leave no matter what which from what i had gathered in a short time had been promised to you and broken way too much so i told my self “ john your gonna be her friend no matter what the cost “ and years went by of me helping u and you helping me and sure we had our rough spots im not gonna lie but we got threw it together and in that time well i grew to well i guess youd call it love you and in that moment i relized that ive been going threw this relationship thinking you needed me that u depended on me which may be true im still not sure but well im trying to say i needed you and need you maybe even more then u do me haha youve done more for me then i think u could ever happen to understand 

and well ya lets flash forward to about a year and ahalf ago when i felt like the luckiest guy in the entire world thanks to u haha cause i finally gained the confidence to ask the girl i had been crushing over out and surprisingly you said yes ! then proceeded the most interesting 10 months of my life haha also probably some of the happiest cause whether you believe it or not you where the damn best girlfriend i ever did have haha and then well we broke up and well im not gonna lie even though it was for good reasons i sorta felt something inside me creak and snap a very serious internal conflict if u will . cause on one hand u wanted to better your self which im perfectly okay with but on the other hand well we broke up haha and i had no idea how to handle that like at all so l sorta lost it for a bit there alot of anxeity and panick attacks and nights alone crying but then things started looking up honestly it seemed like we might get back together and i was honestly excited shit haha we basically did for a little while and well during the brief time of your little fling i guess youd call it you showed me another part of my self a more confident part of my self that well genuinely ment to protect you but well dominate u at the same time which was a very interesting feeling to have this innocent person give her self to me and to be responsible for her happiness and health and well being and during that time to me you where everything i never knew i needed or wanted i wouldn't trade that experience for the world i swear on that much cause we might be separate but your still my angel and u always will be i promise did u know i refuse to call “her “ angel ? well ya i wont do it its the one name i wont use cause well its yours haha the single name u liked me calling you besides your own name and u best believe i abused the shit out of it  but anyway back on track then that ended you and him got together .. which well it hurt alot like a fuck ton i didn't really know how to react so i just tried to revert back to my original function be happy cause your happy and well it just isnt working anymore so i dont know im just sorta trying anything at this point cause ik you dont like seeing me upset especially when it has something to do with you 

   so i got a girl friend and i fucking hate it so much haha and if you think this is some thing im trying to to take u from him or something isnt haha you know i wont interfere with your relationship well guess what all of this brings me to what i was actually thinking about

 am i stupid or in love or maybe just stupidly in love 

? is there a future for us ? cause you only ever tell me maybe haha ?

 is .. is he better then me ? 

 im sorry for hurting u

 . im sorry for not always being there im sorry for well alot of things 

 But im thankful for you , for how much you have been there , for putting up with my shit , for being open with me for being my friend for being an amazing girl friend for caring and so so much more yes believe it or not this is a note of me trying to thank u cause i dont think ive really ever shown just how much i appreciate you dork 

 you dont have to answer these questions and well im damn surprised if you've read this far down aha to those who have read this that is wasn't meant for this far down sorry aha it was just one of those nights where i needed to vent and this is one place where i can actually do that without my family freaking out on me  thanks y'all im gonna go do something else for the rest of the morning

[dy1kjxxa-blog]

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