#i get that everyone wants to dunk on matt

[polycatyl]

No one is going to see this but this is a reminder that it is infinitely more important to love trans women than it is to hate bigots

[freshxsturniolo]

4th July - FINAL PART - chris sturniolo x reader

life with chris had been a bundle of joy, as you knew it would be. his energy had only projected onto you and it was hard to not match his energetic and talkative self every time you were around him, which was admittedly a lot. your little happy bubble since he asked you to be his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago had only bought out a side to you both that you didn't even know was there.

you had spent everyday with him since, even though the two of you had busy schedules you made sure to slot in time for each other each day. you had also become insanely close with nick and matt, which was everything to you. you could roll up to their house whilst chris was busy with meetings and sit and chat to the both of them for hours, or you'd happily pull matt out for coffee in a morning when chris was still sleeping.

you felt your relationship growing stronger, everything around you both aligning.

as you sit on madisons sofa now, curled up against chris' side with music on in the background as everyone around you chats about everything and anything, you can't help but feel a surge of emotions you'd never felt before. you didn't want to say you loved chris, your relationship was fresh and you were aware that at any moment it could go the opposite direction, but there was definitely something there, bursting to come out.

when you had arrived at madisons house, she had opened the door and greeted you with open arms before she grabbed your hand and pulled you out into the garden where the three triplets where, with some other of madisons family and friends.

"its so lovely to meet you, i've heard so much about you over the past couple of weeks" madison had winked, and you had rolled your eyes before blushing slightly.

"he is a yapper" you laughed, playing it off cool whilst deep down your stomach was doing somersaults.

the minute chris had seen you, he had come running over. scooping you up in his arms and lifting your feet off the floor. you heard madison giggle at the side of you, and a whooping hallow from either matt or nick, but you had ignored it all as your wrapped your arms around chris' neck, giggling in his ear as his arms wrapped tightly around you. when he put you back down, he didn't waste no time before he planted a strong kiss on your lips.

"you came" he smiled.

you side eyed madison. "for madison" you said, and she had laughed at the side of you.

"put her down lover boy" madison had said, walking over and taking your hand. "shes mine for the evening"

and so you had been. you had played with her dogs, utterly and blissfully in love with them, whilst madison showed you around her house before the two of you grabbed drinks and sat by her pool. it was another warm day in LA and the sun shone down on all of you, the triplets playing in the pool like little kids.

"so," madison had said when your conversation had died slightly, and you looked towards her with a smile. "you and chris, huh?" she winked, which made you life as you changed your position so you could fully watch him in the pool. he was balanced on nicks shoulders, trying to keep upright whilst dunking nicks head into the water, a muffle of screams coming from them both. you laughed as you watched them both before turning back to madison.

"i feel like we are an extremely unlikely pair, but it just works." you smiled, and madison smiled in agreement.

"you are both so sweet, the love you have for each other is so evident"

your heart stops for a second, and madisons eyes widen when she realises what shes said. "oh my god, im so sorry. i didnt mean to get ahead of myself."

but you laughed. "its totally fine. its still early days but i defiantly feel something for him i dont think i ever have for anyone else."

she smiles now and looks over at the three triplets. "keep hold of that feeling, babe."

and when you turn to look at them to, chris is leaning against the side of the pool, his eyes firmly on you, and when he sees you looking he gives you the warmest smile. a smile you had never seen before, but a smile you could get used to.

so when you're lay against his side some hours later, listening to everyone around you chatter, and he taps your shoulder to pull you outside, you suddenly feel sick.

"are you okay?" you ask, and he laughs, wrapping his fingers around yours as he walks towards the kitchen, before pulling you outside into the evening air. the sun is setting, a perfect glow illuminating madisons garden, and sits down on an empty chair, before pulling you to sit on his lap.

"chris" you giggle as you practically fall down on top of him, before you reposition yourself so you're sitting comfortable. one of his hands around your waist as the other lays against your thigh.

you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning back slightly so you ca see him properly. his hair has curled more than you've ever seen it before from the chlorine in the pool, still slightly wet on the ends, and he looks blissfully tired. dark rims under his eyes, but equally he looks the most beautiful you've ever seen him.

"oh god, are you breaking up with me?" you suddenly say, and he rolls his eyes before leaning forward and planting a kiss on your lips.

"no, pretty girl."

pretty girl. you don't think you'll ever get over the pet name.

"oh, thank god." you chuckle, and he squeezes your thigh.

"i want to ask you something" he says, and suddenly he looks really nervous. looking down at your legs so he can avoid your eye contact. the gesture puts your heart in your throat.

"whats wrong?"

he looks up now and smiles. that same smile from earlier.

"you know how we fly to boston in a few days for our birthday?" he asks, and you smile.

"yes?"

"well, - and i've already spoke to matt and nick because i know you'll tell me you don't want to intrude, and i also know its taras birthday too, so im not expecting you to say yes, but, i wondered if you wanted to come with us?"

your stomach does somersaults. "chris-"

"if you dont want to its fine but, i just checked a minute ago and theres still spaces on the flight, and just ... i want you there."

your speechless for a second, and you can see him searching your face for an answer.

"matt and nick-"

he rolls his eyes jokingly. "they love you, babe. and -"

but he stops himself, looking down at your legs again.

your hearts about to damn near stop.

"and what?"

he looks up at you, the sun bouncing off his face. "watching you with madison earlier. fitting so perfectly with our friends. not being jealous or acting weird that we're friends with her. and, fuck i know its early, but i might just be in love with you. and you don't have to say that back. but i think i am. and i want you to meet my friends at home. i want you to meet nathan. i want you to meet my brother justin, and i want you to meet my mom and dad. they'll love you too and ... just. yeah."

you could cry. you could seriously cry. and as you look over his face, you know your feelings match. you know madisons words earlier are true.

so you say it, its almost a whisper but you say it. "i think i love you too."

his eyes widen, he searches your entire face before his hand leaves your thigh and comes to your cheek. "are you serious?"

and you laugh. "im so serious, chris. i'd love to come to boston."

"oh you're fucking perfect. you're actually perfect"

and then he kisses you. soft, gentle, but with all the passion in the world.

and everything in that moment just felt so perfect. everything in that moment was perfect.

you were completely and utterly in love with chris sturniolo, and you wanted the whole world to know it.

[peterman-spideyparker]

Sweet Caroline (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)

Author’s Note: Hey everyone! Work has been super busy lately, but I got ahead of schedule this week and I listen to music at work and everything kind of fell together and I wrote this. It's not the best I mean TBH it's probably very crappy, I know that, but it's cute and sweet. I hope you enjoy! :)

Summary: The rivalry between Boston and New York is deep-seated and long-standing, but you're proud of where you come from—just smart enough to not announce it from the rooftops in Hell's Kitchen, or to your friends. Turns out, no matter what—through years of friendship, marriage, and everything that follows—there will always be the rivalry to some degree.

Suggested Listening: Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond

Warnings: Fluff, Boston vs. NYC rivalry, not proof read at all, really

Other Characters: Foggy Nelson, Karen Page

Word Count: 1,046

Moving from Boston to New York City is a cardinal sin. It doesn’t matter that it was for law school: “You couldn’t get in to Harvard? Suffolk?” “Oh, too good for Boston, now, are ya?” The kind of comments go one and on, especially once you made the decision to stay, having met your two best friends and deciding to open up a law firm with them. You can just imagine the similar sort of comments you'd get in Manhattan if people heard that you're from Boston. Therefore, you keep that part of your background on a strictly need-to-know basis, only free to wear your Boston attire and drink your Dunks in the comfort of your own apartment. The first nice spring day in the city means that your Bostonian nature is out in full force in your home—some windows cracked, a pot of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee brewing, and your favorite hand-me-down Red Sox t-shirt you’ve had for years comfortably situated onto your body.

Your freeze when you register a knock on the door.

“Knock, knock!” you hear Foggy call through the old wood. “We’ve got pizza and case files!”

“Just a second!” you call, putting down your mug of coffee and making your way over to let them in.

“Traitor!” Foggy shouts almost immediately.

“What?” Matt asks, his face scrunched in utter confusion. 

“Oh, Fog, c’mon,” you say with a roll of your eyes. “You’re being dramatic.”

“I am being no such thing!” Foggy defends. “This is a proportionate reaction for the situation!”

“I think you’re both forgetting that one party in attendance is blind,” Matt chimes. “Can someone please fill in the details?”

“(Y/N)—if that’s even her real name—is wearing a Boston Red Sox shirt.”

“I will not accept Bostonian slander in my apartment, so if you boys—.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Matt rushes, putting a hand on your closing door. “You’re from Boston?”

“Yes.”

“Why’d you never mention it?”

“Never came up.”

“Lie,” Foggy interjects. “The day we met, we asked where you were from.”

“You said the city,” Matt adds. “We understood that as New York City.”

“That was a misinterpretation on your part. Boston is a city, and I did grow up there,” you clarify. “Hence, I’m from the city. You are at fault for not inquiring further.”

“It feels like I don’t even know you,” Foggy sighs.

“Okay, goodbye, drama kings,” you say, trying to close the door once more, only for both of your friends to slip in.

“Seriously, why’d you never just tell us?” Matt asks.

“You act like I told you I had a secret family or I was Daredevil or something!” Foggy has to help steady Matt—Matt's clumsiness is starting to get more concerning. “I didn’t tell you because I knew how you’d react as through and through New Yorkers. I’ve heard everything in the book about Boston while I’ve been here. I didn’t want to hear it from my friends, too.”

“(Y/N),” Matt says, the tips of his ears bright pink. “We don’t mean it like that.”

“Then how do you mean it? How else and I supposed to take it?”

“You blend so will with New York,” Foggy says.

“Now I’m insulted.”

“No—it’s just that you’re a natural, really. That’s why we’re shocked. That, and you don’t speak like—.”

“—like I want to park the car in Harvard Yard?” you question with an exaggerated accent, making them both laugh, albeit nervously.

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint.” You pick up your mug of coffee from the counter, taking a sip. “What case files did you bring?”

“Sweetheart, she smells so good,” Matt hums in delight as you both rest with your newborn in the hospital room.

“I know, Matty,” you smile. "Or are you forgetting that pregnancy made me have super senses, too?”

“Yeah, but that’s nature at work.”

“Mm,” you hum, taking another sniff of her head. “She smells so new.”

“Is it weird we’re this enamored with sniffing our newborn?”

“No. We made her. We have the right to sniff.”

As you continue to fawn over your daughter, you hear a gentle knock on the door. You notice Foggy and Karen peeking their heads through the crevice, gifts and balloons in hand. 

“Is now a good time?” Karen asks.

“Well, you are interrupting our baby-sniffing time, but I guess an exception can be made  for you two,” you say.

“I’m gonna ignore the baby-sniffing comment because I’m too excited to meet my niece,” Foggy beams as they enter the room and get closer. “Oh, wow. That’s a cute baby. I mean, of course she is, look at the gene pool she got to swim in.”

“She’s precious,” Karen whispers in awe. “Great job, guys. More so to you, (Y/N).”

“Thanks,” you breathe, resting your head against Matt’s.

“Does she have a name yet? Or is she still Baby Girl Murdock for now?”

“Well, Matt had a suggestion,” you start.

“Caroline,” he finishes, smiling sweetly at your daughter.

“Aww. Caroline Murdock. It’s so pretty,” Karen hums. “She looks like a Caroline.”

“Caroline?” Foggy asks. “Like . . . Sweet Caroline?”

“Foggy, how long has it been since you found out that I’m from Boston and you’re still on this?” you chuckle. 

“No, it’s not that! It’s nice. It’s a real show of love for a New Yorker to name their kid after the anthem of the enemy city.”

You look down at your daughter, the picture of relaxation as she rests in your arms.

“Sweet Caroline, bum, bum bum,” you begin to sing. “Good times never seemed so good—.”

“So good! So good! So good!” Matt adds on.

“Traitor,” Foggy smirks.

“You’re gonna be my little cute Boston fan, aren’t you?” you say softly.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Matt tries. 

“You don’t even like sports!”

“It’s the principle of the thing! And you don’t like sports, either.”

“It’s the principe of the thing,” you mock.

“Yeah, but I love her.”

“I do, too.”

“So, Caroline? Is it official?” Karen asks.

“How about Caroline Josie Murdock?” you offer. “She does need a middle name, after all.”

“It’s perfect,” Matt hums, kissing your temple.

“A perfect marriage of Boston and New York,” Foggy smiles. “Just like her parents.”

Permanent Taglist: @majesticavenger​ @steampowerednightvaler​ @themusingsofmany @just-the-hiddles​ @toozmanykids​ @dangertoozmanykids101 @clints-worldavengers @theburningbookshop​ @itwasthereaminuteago​ @peter1ismybrother@hellskitchens-whore​​ @dpaccione​ @catnip987​

[thebibliomancer]

Earth X #5

Thor seems different than usual.

It’s probably the braids.

Earth X: what you get when you ask Alex Ross to write a Kingdom Come tier story for Marvel. It is Bad Future! Uatu the Watcher has been blinded and he’s forced Aaron to be his seeing eye robot.

If you’re wondering what their dynamic is, it’s this:

The world is a mess with mind-control squids and body-control forever teens. Everyone has been mutated and Reed Richards blames himself. Many of the heroes we know are dead, retired, or in the clutches of the squid or the kid. And the world may be destroyed by vibranium or humanity may super-evolve into space gods.

As we go on and learn more about this setting, there are more and more plot threads.

Captain America in a flag yoga and Wyatt Wingfoot went to California to investigate the Skull, a horrible teen with the power to control people. The Skull took Wyatt for his growing army but left Steve alone because it was funnier that way.

While Steve sits and despairs about the hopelessness of the situation, circus Daredevil shows up and offers to become Steve’s new sidekick.

I am alarmed that this guy is relevant to the plot.

Also… I’m kind of wondering if he’s supposed to be Deadpool. Not actually Wade Wilson Deadpool himself but he has a lot of Deadpool energy and almost nothing to do with Matt Murdock. Alex Ross usually doesn’t like anything introduced after the death of Barry Allen but I wonder if he liked Deadpool enough to want to include someone like him.

This circus Daredevil is given an actual origin in a prequel from a few years back but the idea is sticking in my mind.

He’s red and black, he wants to work with Cap, he’s got an irreverent sense of humor, and he’s got a healing factor so strong he can’t die and has little self-preservation instinct anymore.

Anyway.

The Inhumans continue their journey to find their missing prince. Last issue, Reed Doom promised he’d help by getting a Cerebro and reprogramming it to find Inhumans. He takes off - using a teleportation device made out of Lockjaw… Aww, best doggo is dead? This really is Bad Future.

Reed leaving causes the Doombots of Castle Doom to suddenly register the Inhumans as intruders.

Their fight against the bots leads Medusa and Luna to discovering Dr Doom’s time platform… and Reed’s notes on it, reflecting he really wants to use it to save Sue from exploding but he doesn’t know when he’d stop altering history if he started.

Elsewhere, Cyclops is contacted by Corsair, Havok, and Polaris. FROM SPACE!

They know something bad is going to happen to Earth and want to bring Scott away to space safety.

He refuses to leave without Jean, even though she chose Wolverine over him in the love triangle.

Also, when Alex Ross doesn’t like a character, you know it. And he seems to hate Wolverine.

The appendix reveals that all the psychics are dead (Professor X, MODOK) or depowered (Jean).

Not sure yet why but it means there’s nobody to counter the kid or the squid.

Over in New York, Kid Bruce and Gorilla Hulk visit Sorcerer Supreme Clea.

Clea and Wong explain to Bruce that Strange’s astral form was destroyed while it was out of his body. His body still lives but he’s essentially dead. And that’s why Clea is sorcererly supreme.

So Bruce explains what he’s there for. He’s been having the oddest recurring dream.

Of Captain Marvel on his Death of Captain Marvel deathbed. In the dream, he rises out of bed and shows the assembled crowd of friends, allies, and respected enemies that he has the universe inside him. And then dies.

A universe inside a person sounds to Clea like Eternity. But Eternity is dead. Despite being the universe. Not sure how that happens.

Bruce really wants Mar-Vell to explain the dream to him so he asks Clea to dunk him into the Realm of Death.

I feel like there’s intermediate steps you could try but what do I know.

And geez, Bruce’s dream of the universe inside a dude and visiting death to interpret it on top of the world possibly ending and superpowered menaces running amok with nobody to stop them… This universe is a mess.

(By the way, the appendix notes that Carol Danvers is the current Captain Marvel and that she’s in space helping the Kree on their destroyed capital. So Earth X gets two more tallies for things the 616 would copy later.)

Now then. Let’s talk cover Thor.

Earth X wants to paint the entire history of Marvel with one brushstroke. Superpowers and even super genius is the result of Celestial meddling.

The gods were mentioned in issue 0 as being in conflict with the Celestials but I guess Ross didn’t feel like actual gods fit the picture he was painting.

On Earth X, the Asgardians aren’t gods. They’re super advanced shapeshifting emphatic aliens with no personality of their own who take their identity from those who observe them.

They came to Earth and were viewed as the Norse gods so the Norse gods they became.

Their powers became what people expected them to be. Their personalities became what people expected them to be.

I have no idea how this alien race of blank slates managed to invent space travel.

I don’t particularly like this worldbuilding idea for Thor’s slice of Marvel. His mythos feels diminished if it’s just aliens play-acting old stories.

Anyway, girl bod Thor is fighting some storm giants that made their way to Midgard* alongside the Iron Avengers, who Thor treats as friends.

*Earth

Tony Stark in his isolation somewhere tells the Iron Avengers to respond to another crisis because Thor’s got this one handled.

Vision in a cool hood wants to argue, feeling Tony is being manipulated by President Norman Osborn but ultimately does what Tony asks.

Back of the book appendix info: when the mass empowering event started, Tony sealed himself in isolation, afraid of being changed. He didn’t know but Scott Lang Ant-Man snuck himself and his daughter Cassie into Tony’s isolated environment to try to protect her. But she wound up changing anyway. And now they’re stuck because they can’t leave without compromising Tony’s sealed environment.

The people outside that were mutated came to resent Tony for not being mutated so kept trying to attack his bunker or whatever. So he created the Iron Avengers and gave them his dead friends’ personalities.

Honestly, I can’t wait for the issue that focuses on Tony. There seems to be a lot to unpack.

Also in appendix news, Osborn went on a secret killing spree of supervillains before he took power. He wiped out a lot of Tony’s rogues gallery, for example. And he was never elected as president. He just had himself declared as such and a jaded mutated populace went okay whatever.

Earth X is a mess.

After fighting off the storm giants, Thor calls Loki out as responsible for the attack.

Interesting new design Loki. Could do with you being less interpersonally gross though.

Unsurprisingly, Loki is behind Thor’s new look, having somehow tricked Odin into turning his brother into a woman as his latest trial of humility.

And if Thor goes back to Asgard to tell Odin that Loki is up to his shit again, Loki will lock Thor away from Earth so he can’t stop his evil scheming.

This is a weird plot point.

I’ve heard that it inspired Jane Foster Thor but I’m pretty sure both this and Jane Foster Thor were inspired by the What If where Jane Foster became Thor.

Thor seems only mildly irritated by this whole thing but sheesh, with everything else going on why throw this in?

Earth X is a mess. Captain America is demoralized and wearing the flag as a toga. Cyclops is depressed and lost the love of his life, again. Spider-Man is depressed and has a Venom daughter. Reed is depressed and blames himself for the state of the world.

And Thor has been rule 63’d. But at least he’s not depressed?

[miashyperfixations]

HONEY REVENGE: THE EUROBEEAN TOUR

22.05.2024 @ The Deaf Institute, Manchester (250 Capacity)

Over 3 weeks late but better late than never! Honey Revenge has been my favourite band for a little while now, so seeing them live at The Deaf Institute, with another of my favourite bands, Artio, was such a special night. This concert fell right in my 2-week long break in the middle of my final exams, so it was a no-brainer. The tickets were bought as soon as they went up for sale, in my college’s library, whilst I should’ve been studying. 

The band was in town for Slam Dunk on the weekend, so were playing some warm-up shows in the week across the UK. In this small tour, they weren't coming to my home city, so Manchester it was, we’ve been to quite a few shows in Manchester now, specifically this venue too. Classic Manchester, it was a very rainy day but it didn't matter to me, they're my favourite band and I was determined to see them live - Honey Revenge are the only band I'd do a 5-hour commute for (BOTH WAYS!).

The set itself was incredible as always. It always amazes me how singers can keep up such energetic vocals for entire sets, and rock singers, especially Devin, just adds to that. Accompanied by their touring band, Tay on bass & Matt on drums, it’s clear that they have fun on stage. There was even a circle pit during 'Distracted’, which I wasn't expecting AT ALL, considering their songs are pretty tame compared to other rock bands on the scene right now. But that’s what makes them stand out, it’s the kind of music that you can dance to, headbang to, and cry to, and I love them for it. Their several synchronized high-kicks over the course of their set only emphasized this. We were in a similar spot to last time, on Donny’s side of the stage so we were able to watch their insane guitar solos from RIGHT THERE in real time and it was absolutely amazing. The setlist was a little different to the last show as they didn’t play every song in their discography, with only 2 cut out though, so most songs were played.

At the time of the show, they hadn’t released anything new since the last time we’d seen them live in December, however they did play their (then unreleased) new track ‘Recipe For Disaster’ in full [see above video]. They’ve since released this song alongside the announcement of ‘Retrovision: The Extended Edition’ to be released in early August. Even though the song was only released on the 24th of May, it was still my top song of the month (🫣) - It was ON REPEAT for the whole weekend. 

In between sets, we bought merch from both bands and had a chance to chat to both merch sellers for both bands as they were both friends of the band and not just a random crew member. After the show, we were also able to hi to one of the band’s team crew, and Devin’s boyfriend, Kyle who is also a musician, he was really cool and gave us some solid advice for venturing into the music industry. It was fun to meet Claire again, a photographer friend who has worked with Honey Revenge before as well as South Arcade back in March.

Once the show was over, Devin & Donny came back out to say hi to everyone whilst their crew packed down. We first chatted to Jai & Ieuan of Artio who had also come back out, but eventually we were able to talk to Honey Revenge themselves. I wasn’t able to go back in and meet them last time, due to the gig being in the upstairs of a bar and I was under 18, but to my surprise, they remembered this and were greatly appreciative of us waiting so long to meet them this time! As we were some of the last people in there, we were starting to get ushered out, but they still made sure to have a full conversation with us as we wanted to talk to them more about the scene and the industry as well as tell them what big fans we are. It was so incredible to finally meet and have a conversation with them having been a fan for so long and they also made sure to take a photo with us and sign the poster I'd bought earlier. Devin also encouraged me to talk to their sound guy as I’d mentioned that this is what I want to do after education!

This night was EVERYTHING and more. This band is without a doubt, one of the biggest, and best, newcomers to the scene in recent years. With plans to go on Idobi Radio’s Summer School Tour this July, and no doubt more plans afterwards, I can’t wait to see what the future holds for Honey Revenge.

[astromechs]

1 3 9 16 24 please, whatever Fandoms you feel like talking about

1. the character everyone gets wrong

matt murdock is my choice for this today 💀 i love matt, he is my blorbo, i hate the fandom take on matt. get the words "catholic guilt" out of your mouths, shut up, he's not some defenseless woobie baby that isn't accountable for his own actions, he's a grownass man who's responsible for sabotaging his own life and relationships on the regular, stop blaming elektra and being weird about her when he does ALL this shit himself. i trust very few people to have actual correct takes on matt LMAOOOOO

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

shoutout to the classic "tony stark is female-coded" that i no longer have a screenshot of but we all remember. what the fuck were you talking about.

9. worst part of canon

ok i already dunked on rise of skywalker last time i did this, so i'm gonna get really controversial: the mcu is the worst thing that ever happened to the gotg and because a lot of bad comics takes came down as a direct response to the mcu? that's the worst part of their canon.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

literally why do y'all want to woobiefy your blorbos. why. this takes all the teeth out of a character and what makes them interesting. i do not understand and i will never understand!!

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

what doesn't bring up rancid discourse in these fandoms, lol. i'm gonna be biased and say whenever people start comparing rogue one and andor because that discourse tends to annoy me personally the most and ends up with me hating all of you on all sides of it. here's some money, go watch a star war.

chooose violence asks!

[emmacreatures]

A nice introduction

IM BACK AND ALL THE MORE INSPIRED. @niku30 and I already are expanding our faves in this world and I just had to write some for them. theifehrhdb THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO COME. MATT dunkin is a very build and tattooed all over man who drives a Chevy that makes the ground vibrate, thats how heavy it is. along that we have Dan Fuller, who is Matt's marketing department/social media, pretty much the whole package considering business for him. Then aside we have Jack Hardin.. Known as👁 The huntsman, and Cruze, the rookie! ENJOY

"Alright Cruze.. This is your first race among the big guys. I know your last was a very.. Life changing occurence, and I like your determination, thats why you're here, thats why you have your own group now. Its strong, keep that, but remember.. These men and women have been in this world for years. They dont come to play, they come to kill, and especially go after the new ones to scare them away. Just do what you think is right but be cautious." "You know who you're speaking to right?" "I like your style, I give you that, but I'm also serious. Dont underestimate or we might get your first scars today. You are with a new own vehicle, not some borrowed one from your brother in law, and a rather rough road, keep put" the sponsor of Cruze said as they all stood ready on the tracks.. All the usual drivers had heard of this rookie. And the press was all about wanting to see how this course would go. Cruze was new to this world.. Yet there was an unfamilair feel, something he'll have to learn along the way, but for now.. This daredevil wanted to drive in his own car.. Adjusted to his liking. A rather high advanced one, fast; lightweight.. And of his own brand. It felt surrealistic, yet rightous at the same time, and he couldnt wait.. His hunger was massive and his gut knew this was what he wanted to do

"Ready Cruze?" "I was ready hours ago".

"Lets go everyone.. lets see what this race with the new rookie will lead to" one of the new commentators said as most raised an eyebrow, hearing how the rookie got quite the attention. "Lets see how he'll speak after we're done with him" Matt said confidently, smirking as he was waiting for the lights to go green just like all of them. Matt wasnt easily offended at all, but the rest.. hearing how much attention that new one got, made them rather tempted to play tricky. They all worked so hard to get there, so one rookie shouldnt be difficult to teach some manners.. right?

"AND WE'RE OFF" the commentator said as everyone drove off within the second.. Cruze felt the immense power of his own car, almost wanting to yell out of joy before he got reminded what he was doing. He was driving among the best in the world.. and he needed to take it serious, despite he tried to enjoy the most out of it, and feel confident while being at it, wanting to show what he's got.. "Ah there ya go.." Matt whispered as the rookie passed him.. "He can definitely control his car I can tell him that.. But he should keep track of the back" Matt said tricky as he smirked, pushing more on the gaspedal as the rookie was right infront of him. "There are several thorns among you Cruze. We got some very impressive people among you. Stay focused. Dont hurray too much when you get closer to that front. While this was your main focus back at that other race, you need to watch your front, and back at all costs. This is a mental test constantly" The trainer/sponsor of Cruze kept saying, while Cruze was just focused and going fast, but it was more than just that, that was happening.. The sponsor noticed one of the loudest cars coming closer on Cruze.. Making him warn him. "Watch out for that big Chevy.. Cruze. I'm serious. He likes to slam dunk-" Before the sponsor could finish his sentence, Matt had given a firm push from the back as Cruze managed to keep the car on track, correcting it as he felt that. "every car.." The sponsor finished the sentence, making Cruze wake up a bit.

"HOLY FUCK, he just- is that even LEGAL. Who is that?" Cruze said as he learned every second. "Thats Dunken. His car is heavy and needs more time to speed up, but once it does its like a heavy metal train. Which means.. His forces are hard to break once he makes the speed he needs to make" His sponsor said. "Isnt that even deadly serious, something about force and not enough to put on the brakes" Cruze said with intelligence, making the man who talked to him happy. "Thats what I'm talking about. Use that against him. You can make sharp turns. Keep being focused. This is just a slight glimse of what can happen. Its a crazy world Cruze. Terms of it being legal.. he always gets away with it. Kind off like the way you push your car, you know where to stop. Dunken seems to.. Exactly swirl around the illegal route, and leave a dent in people's cars without being charged.". "Is he keen on tailgating?" Cruze immediatelt said, taking it serious.. While in the meantime, Matt was just having fun. "Oh he's fighting back. Staying pretty steady, thats a first. Most immediately swoop off like that, game over" Matt said as he wanted to give another push, of course as well to make him move so he could come closer to the front.. But Dan.. Noticed the horrendous behavior, taking the trainer's headphones as he took over. "No No NO- DONT DO THAT DUNKEN. I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS" "Ah, fuller, cant you see. he just needs a little nudge. A little kiss on that ass to make him feel welcome" Matt said as he pressed the massive gaspedal to close in on the rookie again.. "DUNKIN I SWEAR- I cant risk another sponsorship to set sail because of your need to dent people's cars. You make us seem bad" "Well its all about it. I make you look good. It shows how stirdy the cars we have our. AND, To show we dont come to play, but to win." Matt said casually as if he wasnt in the middle of some race. "Dont worry about it sugar, I'll show them we're unstoppable. You get plenty of them." Matt said as he could hear his marketing manager just.. Die inside to hear Matt handle him like that, the man felt like it just to poke the bear. "I dont- I- Cant. nor Want to miss any opportunity MATT. You understand that. I do not want to argue with you again" "Mmhmm.. God, I love when you get all angry at me.. Like a soap series. you know, We could work on this, it might lead to some angry-" "No NO WE'RE NOT GOING THERE DUNKEN. STAY FOCUSED ON THIS GAME. There's people watching- Keep it together" Dan said rather stressed, making Matt smirk

"You're flustered huh.. I know you secretly love having these conversations. I prefer them much more over the ones I have with my trainer" "JUST FOCUS. MATT. COME ON." "I never left boss" Matt said so confident it would make women faint, before he smirked and got right into the race, without much of a chat despite when focused he was good at it. "Have this back.. I need to make some calls" Dan said as he would exhale rather firm.. This man sometimes was too much.. or was he the righr amount. "Alright Dunkin, i'll pretend I havent heard any of what you just said, but go for it will you" "Oh I'm way ahead of you. This kid needs to learn that he'll get some scars" Matt said as he smirked, driving dirty as it made things always tense.

"Watch out for a few more Cruze.. Dunkin there is a dirty driver, but there are more that you need to he weary off" "Like what.." Cruze asked genuine, not as if he was unimpressed.. But right as he was around 3th place for now, a car with a heavy tone passed him out of the blue, getting closer to the front as Cruze was certainly surprised "Holy.. How- Where did he came from.. I didnt see that one in ANY direction" Cruze said as the final lap came in sight.. Noticing right before the end, the car that passed him like a predator catching prey, managed to make it in first place.. "Thats the huntsman.. Another one I wanted to warn you about, but I felt like you needed to see it yourself." the sponsor said; making Cruze legitimitely question how he did that.. "Did you see him coming.." "Sometimes he finds specific turns that we dont even catch on camera.. I know your senses feel like they're off, and I know your senses are heightened, you have a feel for this.. but trust me, the huntsman is unlike anything the world has seen, and keeps it up everytime." The sponsor said "You did well Cruze.. Especially being 3rd." "Yeah.. Thanks" Cruze said as his mind was so... Blown by how that heavy fort mustang, was able to appear and dissapear like that. It were years of training.. but damn.. Cruze for the first time felt tricked but he wasnt even offended.. He was feeling challenged. He wanted to dig about this, feeling all the more excited about this world and where he managed to end up. "Cruze?" "Yeah.. I'm here.." Cruze said, but while he'd normally be all excited over the fact the rookie managed to place 3rd on the first game.. His mind was elsewhere.

[homemade-ghosts]

I know this is a kind of weird question, but why do you think you never got into EJ and Gina?

I saw a comment saying was season 3 was backtracking, "how their relationship was so genuine and supportive in the first two seasons then suddenly all the development was gone in s3 with EJ back to being inconciderate and Gina is back to having feelings for Ricky'

Not a weird question at all! 

I’ll start with things I think I’ve mentioned in previous PW-related asks (just to get the repetition out of the way lol). They share no common ground beyond both initially being seen as the scheming antagonists when the series began. They don’t understand each other — nor does EJ ever make a concerted effort to understand Gina, beyond asking her (literally one time) what it feels like to be constantly moving. They don’t communicate well; EJ put no effort into maintaining their relationship. + EJ essentially refuses to support Gina the second it becomes inconvenient for him (sure, he’ll pick her flowers to congratulate her on landing the lead, but then he’ll negate that by immediately talking about himself and his failings without giving Gina a moment to celebrate her own success). 

& on top of EJ & Gina being, on paper, not compatible — regardless of who they are being played by — there’s also the fact that I have never once felt an ounce of romantic chemistry watching Sofia & Matt on screen together. Chemistry is, in part, something that just is. You either have it with your scene partner(s) or you don’t. They don’t. (IMO) That’s problem #1. & even actors who establish that natural onscreen chemistry can’t coast on that alone, to really get the audience (in this case, me lol) invested, they both have to have the emotional range to back it up. 

Which brings me to problem #2: I don’t think Matt has the kind of depth, as an actor, that it takes to be a good scene partner to someone as incredible an actor as Sofia. I don’t want it to sound like I’m just trying to dunk on Matt, he seems like a nice guy and I by no means think he’s a bad actor (I don’t think anyone on the show is a bad actor) but, in my opinion, he doesn’t bring much, if any, nuance to his performance. It’s always very…shallow — meaning that Sofia, too often, has to carry (most? all?) the emotional weight in their scenes together. Josh, in contrast, is a much stronger actor who can hold his own in a scene with Sofia because he’s capable of giving a layered performance. Like Sofia, there’s so much going on behind his eyes, so much in the slight change of a facial expression. She doesn’t have to do all the heavy lifting in their scenes together, it’s more of an equal partnership.

I should probably also mention that I have never exactly loved EJ as a character, for reasons completely unrelated to Matt’s portrayal of him. Even when s1 was airing and he was in everyone’s “Big Three” edits on Twitter, I didn’t really get the appeal. I thought he was funny sometimes and a necessary part of the show’s narrative, but I had a hard time rooting for him because his problems were often so trivial compared to other characters’. Like, Ricky’s parents were in the midst of a divorce and his mom was miles away, seemingly starting a new life with a new relationship, without him. Gina had finally found a home and friends and somewhere to belong, only to have all of that ripped away from her, out of nowhere, the instant her mom gets a call from work. Meanwhile, EJ…lied and lost Instagram followers because of it ?? & I’m expected to sympathize with him? Then, in s2, Gina is heartbroken, without her mom to comfort her, Ricky is forced to move out of his childhood home & Nini is finally embracing her independence and learning not to see herself through the eyes of others and EJ just…doesn’t get into one Ivy League school until his dad effectively buys his way in and again, I’m supposed to feel for him because he's sad he couldn't earn that spot on his own? The only thing I feel is that he’s incredibly privileged. & when he was desperate to please his dad in s3, I tried to care (because it's the closest he's ever come to genuine struggle on the series) but I couldn’t because he was doing it at the expense of Gina & her feelings — something he never took responsibility or apologized for, by the way. Ricky makes a mistake, learns from it and does his best to make up for it. EJ makes a mistake and…well, that’s it. He keeps making it, but it’s supposed to be okay because he’s a good guy who’s always trying to do the right thing, even if he doesn’t succeed. & I’m tired of it, honestly.

TLDR: In order for me to root for a couple, they need to have chemistry, the actors need to have comparable acting abilities & I need to sympathize with both characters, to like both of them &/or to find them both interesting (I specified the “&/or” for that last part because I do have a couple ships where I don’t necessarily like one of the characters, but I do feel for them at times & find them interesting/compelling). PW has none of that.

As for the second part of your ask, the old “EJ & Gina’s relationship was great in s2, but the writers ruined everything in s3 by having EJ go back to being selfish and Gina go back to being in love with Ricky.” Ugh. Here’s the issue with that: neither of these factors ever changed. EJ has always been an inconsiderate & insecure boyfriend and Gina has been in love with Ricky this whole time. Neither of them went “back” to being anything, they just never left. EJ had all the same negative qualities in his relationship with Gina that he displayed in his relationship with Nini in s1 — jealous, insecure & secretive, with an inability to own up to his own actions & a tendency to blame Ricky for something that was entirely his own doing. That isn’t a sign of character regression. You can't regress if you never learned, never changed, in the first place. PWs only convinced themselves that EJ had changed because he was single for nearly all of s2 and that allowed them to completely forget what he was like in a relationship. Out of sight, out of mind.

 & I don’t know where PWs get the idea that Gina was completely over Ricky once her & EJ got together. She only accepted EJ’s offer of a date after making it clear (at the sleepover) that she thought Ricky was no longer an option, not that she didn’t still harbor feelings for him. There was no closure between them, they never talked about Opening Night and, in order for EJ & Gina to get together, she had to literally not be on speaking terms with Ricky.

Also, about the whole “EJ was so supportive in s2” thing: I’m guessing their idea of “support” is 1. EJ asking how she was one time — even though he didn’t ask because he noticed she was emotional and wanted to check in, he asked as in, “how do you feel about everything you’ve pulled off tonight?” because she had helped plan the entire party and performed that musical number for Carlos in front of everyone. Gina, feeling alone & dejected, took it for more than it was. & 2. EJ bringing Gina that ass granola bar from his back pocket at the airport. Both of these aren’t so much expressions of support as they are the absolute bare minimum, which required little effort on EJ’s part. Like, wow, in the entire time they’ve know each other, he’s asked her about herself twice and picked her up from the airport once — boyfriend goals, am I right?

[randomkposts]

In your opinion, would fem mello be a 'not-like-other-girls'

E:-  Mello might be like that unironically. 

K:- expand?

E:- Mello breaks the conformity of what is seen to be as socially acceptable in femininity

K:- and masculinity

E:-Mello as abrasive as she is, I can't genuinely add her with the misogyny attitude of 'I'm not like other girls' that is a sub branch of 'pick me' girls. Both are taken with the goal of putting down other women in order to elevate themselves. 

K:- you make a good point. 

E:- Especially with our Mello. Thank you!

I detest that sort of attitude since it's seen as a part of "feminism", but breaks it instead of strengthening it.

Besides that, Mello is Mello, she does her own rules and likes what she likes. She might've been coming off that, however she isn't going to make it her personality. 

K:-"I'm not like other girls" is putting other girls down in an attempt to differentiate yourself from them, at their expense. .. and yours. Have some solidarity.

E:-Lmao. When i read that last part I can imagine Mello walking away but turn around and jabs a finger at whoever is acting like this

"Have some fucking solidarity."

K:-"I l'm not like other girls, I'm not obsessed with makeup".

"Ok then, I'm sure you have your own weird obsessions that other people roll their eyes at you over, but you don't see me bringing it up as a topic of conversation with you."

E:-Also it does point out that yes most of our fem versions of L Near Mello and Matt aren't the usual form of "general" social acceptance however none of them are going to tear down other women who do follow feminine traits. 

K:-I don't do makeup really, but if someone has put the time into it to develop skill at it, then good on them.

E:-Especially ones like Takada, Naomi and yes even Misa can be added. 

Yes! That too! I love light and bright soft colors and dresses. I can't always wear them due to weather and work.

While yes if we wanna continue the ye old inner misogyny self hatred maybe Mello did have this stemming from other outer interactions outside of Whammy. 

K:-As foil to Mello, Light would do that unironically in the opposite way.

Light hates everyone in this, and will dunk on boys and girls.

"You've never played a video game?"

"What am I a boy? Why would I waste my time on that."

"You've never had a spa day?"

"I'm not like other girls, I don't waste my time on that" except not outloud, just inner monologue for both.

E:-As looking at Whammy.....they genuinely don't seem to give a shit about normalcy. 

They should invest in Social Public cues as a class mandatory seeing all their geniuses are inept. 

K:-"That kid can be a autistic as they want, all that matters here is that they can solve murders."

E:-Agreed. "As far as I am concerned, I take my studies seriously. Enjoy your spa, your nails seem to be neglected."

Mello can also toss that attitude with the best arm shot she can cause she has seen all types of geniuses at Whammy's so fuck that type of thinking. 

K:- A Class social ,as other people see it.

"I know half of you dont care to interact with other people in real life, but its important to learn how they think, to understand possible motives behind murders, if nothing else. So as stupid as it sounds, being possessive of another person under the guise of love, is plenty of reason to commit murder. Apparently. We will now cover that angle in detail."

E:-"Today we learn why humans tend to act aggressively to commit murder when they aren't receiving intercourse. And decide to blame women for their woes."

Hey, Funny thoughts like unrelated to this, DN needs you to accurately write names and correct face right. Imagine someone getting a face tattoo only to cover it with make up lmak. Lmaooo. 

K:-I think enough of a facial Tattoo might count as enough to mess with the Shinigami eyes, but I think something permanent like a tattoo would eventually count as a part of your face, in contrast to something temporary like a scarf.

E:-Yeah but like is anyone gonna check if you cover it with makeup consistently.

K:-It never came up in death note, because its set in Japan. It should have been a problem when Light had to interact with Amarica. I think it depends on the makeup. 

Like maybe if it was massive clown makeup or something. 

E:-I mean lets be real someone gonna have to done that at some point never update anyone kept it private. You seen makeup gurus right. Freaking magic with contours. 

K:-I don't know, Tattoos are not always something you can get in one session. 

E:-Small. Get a mini bee tattoo. 

K:-And they need time to heal. Would be hard to keep a secret. 

E:-Put a bandage and go "I got my ass handed to me."

K:-Several times in the same place?

E:-No, since tattoo's generally depend on how long it takes. Some can be done in a couple hours and can be small. 

Shit K I can tattoo a mini soup character and cover it up

K:-We are forgetting about fake tattoos! Which are temporary, and so changeable. 

E:-AHAHAHA! I was gonna bring that up but went meme later.

K:- wait. Let me look up the rules. 

"A side view of a person's face is enough to be able to see their name and lifespan. A person's eyes must be visible in order for it to work, but if they are wearing sunglasses while their entire face is visible, it will work. It will also work If half a person's face is seen vertically.

Circumstances where the Shinigami Eyes will not work to see a person's name and lifespan include seeing the back of a person's head, seeing the lower half of their face (i.e. eyes are not visible), and seeing their body but not their face.

A photograph of a person is also acceptable, and follows the same rules as listed above. The only exception to this is when the person in the picture is deceased, in which case their name and lifespan will not be visible. "

Or formally. -

"In order to see the names and life spans of humans by using the eye power of the god of death, the owner must look at more than half of that person's face. When looking from top to bottom, he must look at least from the head to the nose. If he looks at only the eyes and under, he will not be able to see the person's name and life span. Also, even though some parts of the face, for example the eyes, nose or mouth are hidden, if he can basically see the whole face, he will be able to see the person's name and life span. It is still not clear how much exposure is needed to tell a person's name and lifespan, as this needs to be verified."

E:-Mmmm

K:-Tattoos might not work

E:-If half is covered then they can't see it.No no wait

K:-But masking and wearing sunglasses would

E:-We aren't taking in people or ex convicts who do try to cover up half their tattoos. 

Who says a convicted man can't use foundation?!Society?!

*slaps hand on podium* NAY I SAY MAKEUP IS ARMOR!

K:-Nothing against foundation. But I think its getting at face shape being important. 

So the question is, would wigs, hoodies, or religious coverings be any protection?

I mean, a Burqa deff would be more then enough protection. 

E:-Oh totes. Man Covid fucks up Kira's day didn't it. 

K:-Yes. But just a mask might not be enough. So sunglasses to be safe. Mellos burn scar did not protect him from kira murder. Makeup would protect someone from Light, but not Misa, Is what I guess I'm saying. Or Mikami.

Sunglasses that would protect one from the shinigami Eyes, Eclipse!

E:-Damn hack eyes. Oh well guess its back to the traditional misspelling foreign names or wrong kanji. we gotta give those sunglasses to L. 

K:-Maybe If Misora had worn a wig, and makeup, Light would have ignored her. But she had no reason to go to that length of deception to the public at that point in time, as they still didn't know the how.

Look, If I could have a way to keep it without being killed by the shinigami fov being boring, I would be hard tempted by the Shinigami eyes. They get visual acuity of 3.6, or 72/20 vision, regardless of OG eyesight. 

Whether that is worth half of my lifespan is a hard question to answer, but the temptation would be real.

But like, Lights a killer who has his list, goes through it, and moves on. 

In contrast, Misa is more personally motivated, and Mikimai is more detail obsessed.They can just check the TV for pictures. Because Kira being able to kill through photograph sounds batshit to the average Joe, and people still need to know what the school shooters and ect look like, and maybe its easier if they are dead. And then enough of the public was on Kira's side that it never really died out. 

E:-True bur this is Japan. Who has no issues hiding child killers. And still maintains hiding killers faces even post trial. Or the issues with the European system as well doing the same.

K:-Canon Light goes for the surface crime.

E:-LMAO! He just skims Justice.

K:-He kills people who have commited crime and have their name and face available. He doesn't dig. Like, he digs enough to hack, but hes relying on the public a lot more then he would ever consciously admit. 

E:-If he needs details he has Mikami. 

K:-Thats not until part 2.

E:-True true.Ugh God imagine he used the power of 2chan. Japanese 4chan

K:-Like I mean, maybe by part 2 he has gotten better at looking past surface crime and for underlying issues, but If anything, I think the prominence of the cult and stuff means he might have gotten lazier.

E:-Light learning management

K:-I mean, Mello is out there running the mafia (in a vacancy that may be kira related), but that the Mafia still exists after years of Kira indicates that Kira is not as effective as he hopes it to be.Thd Mafia still being around and capable of abducting his sister, indicates that overall crime is not receding as he thought it might. 

E:-Oh no its full on rampant. He is dealing with surface crime. Not the actual big guys. 

Or corrupt politicians outside of Japan like the Philippines or Latin America or South East Asia. 

K:-Yah. The thing about both Light and L as figures of justice, is that they are holding up the current system they live in, not challenging or exposing it. 

E:-While I can't blame them for not digging in more it does add to the fact its not as deep as it could've done as it centers around justice and ego of man. 

K:-They are Justice, so they uphold the justice system as they see it. Light plays it by the socially conventional rules, where L goes off the socially (and often ethically) acceptable path to get the end result, which will be criminal caught. L cares about the journey, where Light cares about the destination.l, it's the same place, but different roads. They don't care why crime happens, just that they stop it. I guess I would say Justice is a core theme, but not the point in the story. 

In contrast, PDN is about Persona 5 and Death Note, so will explore Justice in a lot more detail.

E:-That crossover is gonna take so much brain cells.

K:- I know

E:-I am a monkey with a keyboard ,K

K:-Hey, Imagine if Death note had Nickajack

"Mello is running the Mafia from America". 

"Actually Sir it's worse. He's running the Mafia in Nickajack"

E:-I mean shit yeah that can happen they never had 9/11

Lmao lets make it real. Gotta commit to the DN crazy ass world logic. I snorted my coffee out with that Mello bit. I hope you're proud of yourself. 

K:- I am

[quietwingsinthesky]

I want to ask who your fav doc is, but that feels unfair since you just got to Twelve :c I'll come back and ask when you've finished his era

from what i’ve heard of 12, im fully expecting him to shoot up the ranks quick.

of the doctors i have experience with rn tho, i think the ranking goes 11 at the bottom (i love him but by god he does have the most variable episode quality so far and. watching his seasons leaves me with the feeling that no one in charge really knew what they wanted to do with him? even by the end of s7, im still not sure what exactly eleven’s arc was. there’s the ‘he got too important for his own good’ bit, but his fall from grace into obscurity is a background detail that doesn’t seem to effect him. s7 was. we don’t talk about s7. s6 had the strongest idea with building him up as that important guy, but watching the season itself, it’s more like a thing established in episode 1 and then not brought up again until the finale. sorry, im rambling. i have a lot of thoughts about eleven. matt smith killed it, and his dynamic with the ponds & river was brilliant. clara even gets some great episodes with him. he’s just a little messy.)

and then after 11 is mr war doctor. yes maybe i only knew him for one episode, but holy shit what an impression he left. everything about him fascinates me. i love that old man.

and then finally, i flip back and forth on whether nine or ten get top spot depending on the day. nine does have less time in the spotlight but his season is straight bangers, eccleston’s performance is everywhere from hilarious to dread-inducing to tragic. he’s everything to me, all that fresh trauma in a leather jacket and still so, so kind. life-changing doctor. imprint on as a baby duckling kind of doctor. but obviously ten is iconic for a reason. do i even have to explain why he’d be at the top. i love him. im dunking him in a glass of milk and slapping him against the wall. pathetic man with a grief-driven god complex, can’t stop himself from trying to save everyone he can, never gets to be happy, adopted 900 year old son of wilfred mott, i could go on.

im curious where 12 will fall.

[cough-ii]

aftg as quote book pt 4 !!

“its just a silly little twerk of mine” - nicky

“i wouldn’t mind being called woke. im awake arent i?” neil/wymack

“enter hot take on kevin” *drops the mic, takes a bow* - neil

“Just a reminder we are HALF WAY THERE and we are LIVING ON A PRAYER” - renee @ games

“Led by you hoe” - Alison

“i physically cannot play with my balls in my bedroom” - neil?

“Fuckin this, fuck that fuck fuck fuck” - wymack

“Porn is a genre” - nicky

“Reading porn is better than not reading at all” - nicky

“We are all bussin” - nicky

“Don’t shoot the prime minister…please” - everyone @ andrew

“He gave himself a DIY circumcision” - be creative

“I live under a rock. It;s very warm” - neil

“The only way youre getting out of maths this year is if you kill yourself” - neil

“Don’t kill yourself” - wymack

“Tomorrow we’re going to learn how to be better bullies :)” - dan

“I have nothing important to say ever” - aaron

“I am wrong in the head” - kevin

“Some people say lots of things to get off” - nicky

“It was such a delicious luxury to have a warm drink” - matt

‘I got my pussy waxed’ - alison

‘i feel so much better without my pants’ - matt

“neil you’re flirting” - dan “oops…” neil

“Impact on the victim… DEATH” - andrew

“Stop doing magic in class please” someone to andrew

“‘You look good enough to eat,’ Andrew Minyard had said, the first time he came to pick him (Neil) up. When they got home again he did begin to eat him”

“Hey hoe 💅” alison

“That is tighter than a fishes ass hole” - matt

“Are you ok you look like a drenched rat” - dan

“If I get your name wrong, blame your parents” -wymack

“I was on drugs I didn’t know what I was doing” andrew

“I have thousands of dollars to my name” neil

“why did you threaten me?” kevin “because i wanted to” neil

“Dragons have pronouns too” renee

“i very much enjoy getting renee wet” - Alison, dunking water on renee

“andrew is a crack up” - nicky probably almost got shanked for this

“talk dirty to me” andrew “What if I tied up all your hands and legs and then threw you down the stairs and you died, but we were friends who liked practical jokes, would that be murder?” neil

‘Who was humping the statue?’ - dan

“Little red riding hood in bed with the wolf” - Alison

“His eyes are penetrating you” kevin @ neil unironically

“There are a number of ways you can skin a cat” andrew when one of the cats piss on the bed

‘Just shake ur ass and no one will notice’ nicky

“Why is it always mother fucker this, mother fucker that? Why is it never father fucker” neil

“I’m very private with my fists” dan

“I had some guy in my car and he said ‘i want to commit suicide’ and i said ‘no, not in my car get out’” - twinyards

“Girls, you’re semi-hysterical” wymack

“I touched your boob im sorry” matt @ dan

“Not just jumping off the religious sculpture, they were humping the religious sculpture” - renee, traumatised

‘DANCE you idiot, D-A-N-S…’ - kevin

‘We’ll talk about the sex party another time’ dan

‘I have a gin and tonic every night, it keeps me young’ wymack

“I was in a rage and i broke his nose” neil ab kevin

“Some people need to be chemically castrated” andrew

“Don’t chew gum in front of Jesus” renee

“I’m hearing plenty of smashing noises over here” allison in the cabin

“Oh why don’t you crawl back into your hole” andrew @ neil

“Legalise recreational use of cannibalism” aaron in a presentation

“CMERE YOU LITTLE BOLLOCKS!” wymack

“Stabbing them 3 or 4 times is plenty” andrew

“My brother got dropped on his head” andrew

‘Comparing sizes’ nicky

‘Ive been stalking you all’ kevin

“Shit, Shit, SHIT, Oh my god, SHIT. That’s fucked” nicky

“She called him gay so i threw the chair at her” neil

“I’m gonna die” aaron “Don’t care.” neil

“Get help please” dan

“Young people’s music today, I just don’t get it” abby

“We all have the homosexual gene” andrew

“I’m not going to get you to go around class and looking if people have homosexual characteristics” andrew maybe

‘i saw this really big tombstone and i asked ‘is that where jesus was buried?’’ andrew @ renee

‘What if I worked 55 hours a day?’ matt?

“now that i’m your legal guardian i guess i should look after you” dan a/o matt @ neil

“lesbians are people too” neil

“Charisma test? caress my balls” nicky

“Do you want to do a quickie to de-stress” andrew

“If you are interested in any horizontal refreshment” andrew

“Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace, play with my balls and tell me how big they are” (…….. i have second hand embarrassment) - allison

“Do you think Jesus had daddy issues?” alison

“We all get stressed sometimes but cursing is not fucking ok” dan

“I'm working, im twerking and im jerking” nicky

‘It’s a good kisser it’s so smooth and soft and warm’ neil ab his homework

[utilitycaster]

Hi, different anon- while I’m not sure I agree with you about otohan being a boring villain, I am really interested in your railroading take. Is…I dunno, mechanical railroading a thing? From an encounter design standpoint? The thing I keep coming back to is that 200+foot per round move, plus teleports and psionic leap. That’s not an encounter you can run from without big conjuration spells. 60-odd damage a round? Not a good place at level 7. What was supposed to happen, dyou think?

Hi anon! If you don't mind, I'm going to package my answer to this with a response to this really good comment from @hexagonalpeg and then I'm going to go do some work for a while.

So for what it's worth Otohan is mechanically quite interesting, and purely from a mechanical standpoint, I'd love to see a combat like that at like level 15 or something. I just found her to have no discernable personality other than GOOD EMBRACE THE DARKNESS and like, that's boring as shit to me. I don't know why she feels this and I don't care. But that's an aside.

Mechanical railroading is kind of a thing in that you absolutely can have a battle that was always intended to be virtually unwinnable. It's something Matt has done very well in the Chroma Conclave initial attacks in which the dragons were clearly stated to have a sky-high AC, and with the first fight against the Tomb Takers in Campaign 2. It's a good way to impress upon the party how strong the enemy is and give them clues on how to counteract them in the future.

Here's the problem: if you have an unwinnable (or near-unwinnable) fight, you need to have a not terribly difficult way to stop it. You can have this by having the enemy say "not worth it" or be called away before destroying everyone (Chroma Conclave); you can make running away possible (Tomb Takers); or you can convince the enemy to stand down, either by giving them what they want or showing you're not a threat, which often overlaps with the enemy deciding it's not worth the effort.

Alternately, you can have a TPK. If you are having a TPK on purpose, that is in fact valid (especially if there's going to be some group vision/turn back the clock/alternate future stuff)...but you need to make it fast. You don't draw it out.

This combat had one very specific answer reliant on only one party member in an incredibly high pressure situation in which every other thing tried had failed. Half the party is down, everyone's in single digits and low on resources, Otohan is killing her best friend, and here's the other thing. Imogen's backstory, and Laura has said as much both in and out of game, is that she feels like going into the storm means dying. Most of Imogen's meaningful conversations have been about fighting her power or learning about it but never, ever giving in. It feels entirely in character, to me, for her to resist it to the very end and ultimately have to be forced into giving in...and that's not good if the answer to the puzzle is "give in."

I think another really important factor is that the narrative leading up to this fight seemed, at least from my perspective as a D&D player, and I'd guess the cast's perspective, a slam dunk. They need to get Treshi, a plot that has already been dragging on for quite some time. They're finally in. They were planning on taking some time to get the lay of the land and call the skyship but oh look, here's a seemingly golden opportunity of a distraction, inclement weather to hide your way, and a tentative ally in this quest! Of course they'd seize it.

So anyway I think the ending - of Imogen giving in, and whatever is going to happen with the white light and everything stopping - is exactly what was intended to happen, but I think that the setup was absolutely not there for anyone to realize this, and that's a pretty significant DM-ing misstep in my eyes. It doesn't mean the story on the whole can't recover, but this just seems clumsy.

[angelsndragons]

still waiting for coherence on my main ideas from 130 but until then, i’m gonna talk a bit about calliope and caduceus. going by current canon confirmation, calliope - the yang to caduceus’ yin- is caduceus’ little sister, not clarabelle, so i am going proceed from that angle. honestly, i think what trips matt up with the sisters is that he established that clarabelle had been frozen long enough to still be a small, still growing teenager while her little siblings have grown up; i don’t think he is twisting around where calliope is in the birth order even if he mixed up the gifts caduceus gave them.

that said, looking at the conversation from ‘older caduceus, younger calliope’ just has so many layers. caduceus speaks to her like a peer, like his equal, until he falls back into older sibling ‘here’s what you are going to do’ mode. as an older sibling, it is a sign of great trust, and probably a little desperation, to be that vulnerable with your younger sibling. you’re used to protecting them, even if it is just from yourself, you’re used to just carrying on because from the day they were born, you became their example, tormentor, protector, and fan all wrapped into one. for cad to take off the mask like he did and let his little sister see his worry and pain is whew, look how far we have come. because the clays were surprised that caduceus ‘stormed’ out. being the quiet, responsible kid who did what he was told, who loved his little sister so fiercely that he let her “jump the line” just because she wanted it, that was the caduceus they knew. the caduceus who eventually slid into a deep dark hole without an idea of how to stop digging. but caduceus isn’t that person anymore. and sure, calliope fell into old habits and rhythms back in the menagerie, caduceus did too, but even there, she caught a glimpse of the caduceus who had been molded loneliness and reshaped by the care and caring of the nein. and she accepted it. she didn’t begrudge caduceus his time in the world. it’s only here, now, when calliope might be left completely alone, adrift without her favorite big brother, that she objects. when she might be stuck with the fate he was supposed to have: staying home.

it’s tough as an older sibling to ‘take’ something from a younger one, especially if it is their thing. caduceus’ thing has never been combat; he was the sensitive, perceptive one who could sense fate’s currents around them and feel the wildmother in everything. calliope was the warrior of the two. and honestly, it hurts how much both of them recognize that melora does not need a warrior in the upcoming struggle; she, and the world by extension, needs a healer. the thing that calliope has been training for and waiting for all her life and it isn’t saving her home or a battle for the fate of all creation. what a bitter pill to swallow. the thing caduceus has been training for all his life and it isn’t sustaining his home. yet, somewhere deep down, they both knew that this was coming. calliope only made armor and a shield for caduceus, after all, not her other siblings or the adults.

just like we saw in the menagerie, caduceus trusts his warrior baby sister above all others to do what has to be done in difficult circumstances. he charges her with getting everyone home safely, he charges her with his secret pain, his last wishes, and the grove’s last defense. and she hates it. waiting and preparing doesn’t seem to come easily to her the way it too easily does to caduceus.

finally, as an older sibling, i felt caduceus’ ‘i don’t want to do it but if keeps you from doing it, if i can protect you from this, i will’ remark deep down in my soul. as an older sibling with an amazing younger one, yeah, you definitely had that dunk in the water coming, caduceus. they have to do something to keep us humble and in check when we start throwing that shit around.   

[sarandsaffitz]

Aunt Rose’s Mondel Bread, p.147, Dessert Person by Claire Saffitz

Made on 6.18.22

I’m almost done with the ‘Easy’ section of Dessert Person! 2 more recipes to go!!!

Make it vegan!

All you really need to do is swap the three eggs for three flax eggs and you’re good to go!

Technically, this isn’t really Aunt Rose’s Mondel Bread because it is a veganized version. That being said, and no disrespect to Claire’s family, but this is not my favorite recipe. It’s alright, and I’ve been slowly eating the slices of mondel bread with my coffee (and I do like it better when dunking it in) but it doesn’t do much for me. My friend Caroline made an interesting comment, “maybe it’s an East Coast thing” and Matt put this as a 2 out of 5. Something about this recipe is very sweet though (and I’m not talking about the cinnamon sugar). I appreciate that Claire shared a piece of her family history with us and it reminds me of the pieces of my family history that are lost to time.

If we have to give points and we’re thinking about flavor or desserts in general, then, I’m sorry Aunt Rose, this is not a winner for everyone. However, on a scale of nostalgic to not-stalgic (lol) this recipe gets whimsy points. And I think we all want a touch of whimsy in our lives.

[krakenbait]

kraken bait 3.5: this is why we can’t have nice things

me on july 11: yes! the expansion draft is in 10 days, my last kraken bait list is finished, everything is good!

me on july 15: gravy to the devils? ok, ok i dig it! messes up my kraken bait list, but oh well.

me on july 17: why are the gms are having a panic sale and fucking everything up

me on july 18: *looks at the protection lists* well fuck.

welcome back for the actual last kraken bait list! the last several days involved a lot of chaos and now a good chunk of my previous list is defunct. lovely. 

you guys know the drill by now. it’s a mock expansion draft with some actual predictions and a few funny theories, i had help from my buddy corwin (@chaos-hockey) and a few other folks. i’ll try to keep this short today, so there will be minimal commentary for anything that hasn’t changed from the last list.

*sigh* let’s get on with it. list under the cut.

Anaheim Ducks: Haydn Fleury

going by casey’s reaction, anaheim fucked up their protection list and leaving fleury exposed was a surprise and a mistake. guess it makes sense that the next expansion team also has a fleury (even if marc-andre and haydn aren’t related)

Arizona Coyotes: Christian Fischer

same as last time. next!

Boston Bruins: Jeremy Lauzon

see above. next!

Buffalo Sabres: William Borgen

i went with rasmus asplund last time around, but he got protected by the sabres. guess they want to keep all three rasmi (rasmusses?). so let’s go with... this dude, who is a defenseman one of the writers from The Athletic picked.

Calgary Flames: Mark Giordano

the flames picked tanev over giordano, but i had a feeling that might be the case. giordano will be a good veteran presence in seattle, etc. next!

Carolina Hurricanes: Nino Niederreiter

brady skjei, my pick last time around, got protected. kinga is probably happy, but i had to take a different route. i had a few other ideas (jake bean, petr mrazek), but corwin liked nino to seattle, so here we are! here’s hoping i spelled his name right.

Chicago: Nikita Zadorov

i had adam gaudette here last time around, and while he’s still available, i just think zadorov is a more interesting option to take from chicago. i might have said dylan strome if he wasn’t protected (sabs’ dreams are crushed)

Colorado Avalanche: JT Compher

as i mentioned in my intro, ryan graves, my previous pick, got traded to the devils (woohoo!)- savy joe sakic didn’t want to give him up for nothing. it was between compher and joonas donskoi to take gravy’s place, but i went with JT since he’s a little younger and his contract is a little less. donskoi is the better performer though, so honestly it could go either way.

Columbus Blue Jackets: Dean Kukan

boone jenner was protected, so there goes corwin’s idea. sticking with the same pick from last time. next!

Dallas Stars: Jamie Oleksiak

jason dickinson got traded to the canucks instead of being kraken bait, so that pick was toast. i didn’t really know who else could go here, but corwin liked the idea of oleksiak, so that settled it.

Detroit Red Wings: Vladislav Namestnikov

i’m sticking with it. next!

Edmonton Oilers: Tyson Barrie

this pick is maybe a little more likely now than it was last time since barrie wasn’t protected, but the odds aren’t necessarily great. i still enjoy my wishful thinking. next!

Florida Panthers: Chris Driedger

i think this is my slam dunk pick now, considering it seems like driedger’s already been talking to seattle. next!

Los Angeles Kings: Olli Maata

viktor arvidsson got protected (corwin was wrong), so it was back to the drawing board for the kings. i wanted to pick andreas athanasiou here, but i needed another player who wasn’t a 2021 free agent and i wanted the same forwards/defensemen ratio as last round, so i went with maata instead.

Minnesota Wild: Kaapo Kakhonen

matt dumba got protected, so my wild pick was toast. i also had to make up for a lost goalie spot (more on that soon), so i went with the young goalie out of minnesota.

Montreal Canadiens: Philip Danault

the habs protected jake allen after carey price waived his no move clause, so i was tempted to pick price to fill that goalie spot, but i don’t think it’s gonna happen on account of price’s hefty contract. instead, i went with ufa but good performer danault. i heard his name a lot watching the cup finals, so it works, right?

Nashville Predators: Calle Jarnkrok

calle jarn-kraken. it’s happenin’

New Jersey Devils: Andreas Johnsson

i will talk about my resentment and anxiety that nate bastian was exposed another time. in the meantime, i am trying to hypnotize ron francis from across the country into taking mango.

New York Islanders: Jordan Eberle

keeping it the same. next!

New York Rangers: Colin Blackwell

i honestly can’t believe the rangers protected kevin rooney. so i’ll go with my second choice for the pick from the rags, which is definitely seeming likely right now.

Ottawa Senators: Chris Tierney

didn’t change. next!

Philadelphia Flyers: James van Riemsdyk

corwin got their wish and nolan patrick got traded. this pick stayed the same regardless. next!

Pittsburgh Penguins: Zach Aston-Reese

i briefly considered changing it up here, probably for brandon “sees ghosts” tanev, but why complicate things? next!

San Jose Sharks: Ryan Donato

keeping it simple. next!

St Louis Blues: Vince Dunn

i’m running out of snappy ways to say “i didn’t change the pick.” next!

Tampa Bay Lightning: Blake Coleman

no more likely than it was last time, still enjoying my wishful thinking. next!

Toronto Maple Leafs: Travis Dermott

another static pick. next!

Vancouver Canuck: Zack MacEwen

i didn’t have to change this pick, i just felt like it. he has a cute dog, so i think macewen makes decent kraken bait.

Washington Capitals: Vitek Vanecek

second verse, same as the first. next!

Winnipeg Jets: Mason Appleton

kept the apple pie in a mason jar on skates around. won’t say “next!” because that’s it.

and there we go, a somewhat coherent response to all the recent chaos. in summary, it’s 3 goalies, 16 forwards, and 11 defensemen, which is the same ratio as the previous list, and a cap hit of 72.3M, which is actually less than before (it was 76.4M last time).

this is decidedly the last kraken bait list, but i may have some more commentary on the expansion draft on wednesday and an analysis of who, if anyone, i got right. in the meantime, hope you enjoyed!

credits, or thank you to everyone who helped me on the last list and therefore this one: @dantonheinens @summerteukka @doubleminor @jakejuentzel @bigmouthnatebastian @18minutemajor @powerblais @heddy

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Survival.”

I had a lot of fun writing this one. Honestly being inside his head is so much fun, and I hope you all like it  :). Hope it makes you laugh today. 

So, I survived….

Surprise!

Not sure how that is going to turn out for me, and as I wake up lying back down in the sand and my right hand chilled from the cool inland ocean, I begin to realize that the awful ordeal I had gone through wasn’t just a dream. At first it felt like it, warm sand below my back and cool water on my fingertips. Somewhere birds are chirping, and I lay there for a while simply soaking in heaven, that is until I hear the secondary explosion as one the aux engines which  jolts me upright sitting there covered in sand, my clothes singed, my arms aching from minor burns…. Completely alone.

Looking around I realize that this is not in fact earth, those are not, in fact birds, and I am not, in fact dead and being shown to heaven, but in fact much of the opposite. This is not earth, those look like tiny dinosaurs, and this is honestly, probably hell.

I take a minute to get my bearings before slowly crawling my way to my feet stumbling upright. The prosthetic takes most of the weight as I limp up the beach and back towards the wreckage of the command deck. I don’t expect to get much out of it considering that the entire thing is on fucking fire, but give me a bit of a break, less than a day ago I had been plunging towards a blakhole (or what I thought was a black hole that clearly turned out to not be) sure that I was going to die. In a way I was just a little pissed off. Don’t get me wrong, its not because I WANTED to die, I am actually one of the few humans on the face of the galaxy who enjoys living, but simply because I had accepted the fact that I was going to die. I had made peace with it, I had expected it, but instead I had been thrown into one of the worst warp experiences of my life, rattled around inside the command deck and then crash landed spectacularly onto an unknown planet.

I mean, it didn’t look like any place I Had ever seen before. Sure the sand and the ocean were almost natural, but tall, skinny, thousand foot trees certainly weren't, and neither were  the large shelled crustaceans shambling up the beach .

I sighed and sat down in the sand with a soft plop watching as fire continued to smolder at the wreckage of my ship. It was only now that I realized my shoes were  gone, and I could  feel the sand between my toes. 

Then the slight hissing hits me, and I turn to look down at my arm where a glint of bright silver catches my attention.

The iron eye suit.

I hadn’t had time to take it off.

I flexed my fingers watching the mid morning light run up and down the metal.

Ok, that was interesting.

Of course my dumbass had managed to take off the jetpack at some point….. shit.

I flopped back in the sand staring up at the sky. It was all coming back to me now, the entire ordeal from start to finish. The fight with the Kree, the space battle --that was arguably pretty fucking awesome…. Eat your heart out kirk-- and finally my destruction of the ship and my journey to the sort of blackish but not really, hole. 

It occured to me: Everyone thought I was dead.

That stopped my musings for a second. What would happen? They wouldn’t look for me…. Would they? Then again UNSC policy held that no man was considered KIA until there was a body. I would be pronounced missing in action though assumed dead.

Someone else would be given command, my ship would have to be repaired, and meanwhile the crew would be disbanded or sent on leave.

Katie, maverick, Ramirez, Krill, Conn, Narobi, Cannon…. They all thought I was dead.

Waffles?

Fuck… thinking about her made me want to cry. Like I am going to be honest here guys, when a dog dies in a movie or when a dog is sad in a movie because their human dies, I don’t give a shit about the human, but I will cry. I will cry like a weenie because the dog is sad. 

Like when all three of your brothers are sitting on your right hand side, and you have this magic ability to be water falling out of one eye while the other is dry  to save face with  your manhood kind of cry, no? Is that just me 

Then my family, my father, my mother, my brothers. What would this do to them? They'd be devastated sure… Imagining my mother hearing about my untimely death was heartbreaking, and I was worried more than ever about Thoams. His quiet struggle with heroin addiction, and his recent one year sobriety was a big step for him…. Would my death mean setting him back? Was I that important to him that something might happen? He never dealt with stress well, so what was going to happen.

And… Sunny?

I had saved her life, yes but what had I done to her in the process?  I had made her watch me die, unable to do anything. I had made her helpless, a victim of circumstance: something I knew she would never forgive herself for. I may have saved her life but…. I possibly ruined her in the process.

…

…

It's a good thing my brothers weren’t here because I wasn’t going to be able to do the one eye waterfall trick. This time it was going to be both eyes…. Still mad that that screwdriver hadn’t ruined my tear ducts too, I could have benefited from that.

I’d say I took about five six minutes to myself to be a pathetic bitch lying there in the sand feeling sorry for myself, and then I wiped my eyes manned up and got to my feet.

Alright.

I looked around at the open planet and the smouldering wreckage of my once beautiful ship. There was only one option here. I had to find a way out, or at least a way to survive, so maybe one day someone might find me somehow…. Yeah yeah yeah I get it is unfounded optimism and it is totally not going to happen, but let a man dream a little.

I was going to have to channel the spirit of one of my childhood idols.

Mark Watney 

You know from that book about the guy who gets stuck on mars by himself for a year, the one that was made into a pretty good movie with Matt Damon. 

I liked both the book and the movie though they diverge a little towards the end:you know, because hollywood.

There are a couple of problems with this plan of course…. Number one being that I am not a super smart engineer botanist. I am in fact, a fighter pilot, and a raging idiot. 

I mean granted I did go to that pilot training school where they drop you out into the forest for a month and tell you good luck, that sucked shit, so it's not like I am completely helpless but still.

However, luckily for me, unlike Mark, I don’t have to worry about air, or water. Granted I have to worry about food, but in a different way. I don’t know what here would be edible to humans, so I am going to have to read carefully. THere is also the issue of clean water which Mark never had to worry about, I do.

YEah, I get it, our circumstances are very different, but I think what I want to channel most about him is his attitude, nihilistically optimistic. 

I am going to survive this.

I look up at the sky watching as the planet’s rings glow dimly overhead through the blue atmospheric haze.

First thing was first, water, food and a weapon.

Fun fact about my model of ship:It is already ready for a scenario like this and has emergency packs stored under every seat of the bridge. Of course the problem there being the bridge is now on fire.

I walk over to the ocean and cut strips of my uniform to tie around my hands. I know it won’t give me much, ut it is better than nothing. Then I dunk myself in the water. It’s cold and causes me to shiver, but the air around me is warm, so I am not so worried.

I turn and head back towards the ship keeping a distance from the larger fires and heading towards the more smouldering ones. I don’t strike much luck to begin with, but eventually I manage to haul out one emergency pack from under one of the crew chairs. MY hands get a bit singed in the process, and the hot metal causes me to yowl like an angry cat and drop the case to the ground, but at least I have something.

I wait or it to cool off for a few minutes before dragging it back up the beach and sitting down to open.

Jackpot!

I have a canteen (with purifier) one of those filtration straws, to make the inland ocean my cup, and a handy little device that analyses organic material and tells you if it's edible or not.

I love living in the future 

I also had emergency blankets, fire starting material, a knife, a flair gun, a radio. This was also along with a couple of other odds and ends like a compass, paracord,  first aid kit, inflatable life raft, a multi-tool , monocular, and a box of nails.

The first aid kit included, bandages, antibiotic ointment, antibiotics of the general: for whatever stabs or infects you variety, painkillers, a turnakit, sewing needle and thread, staple gun: sort of, gauze anti-inflammatories, and fuck yes, a razon a toothbrush and some toothpaste. 

If i ever got off this planet and back home I was to kiss whoever made this case, man woman does not mater, they are getting a kiss, cheek if they happen to be married of course, but if they really insist I um up for full mouth contact on the person who saved my life.

All jesting aside, this was good, and I first went to go get a drink of water.

HYdrations is important kiddos.

Next I had to tend to my injuries, minor burns and scrapes, bruises that I could do nothing about. Then it was time for a little shelter, which i erected with great ease between a couple of the strange tall trees, using torn up ferns to provide bedding on the inside and a canopy overhead.

I was feeling pretty badass right now, survivor style, though lets be honest, I was kind of lame since I had so much help from the magic box of wonderful mysticalities.

You know between this gox of medicine and the arc of the covenant, I would definitely pick this box first, for sure.

Took me a good day or two to get settled, and I’ll admit it wasn’t easy.

Gathering food was fine, I found some berries and fruits off of nearby plants, a couple of roots that were ok to eat, and even some of the crustaceans were palatable once I cooked them, using my fire pit and laying them out over a slab of discarded ship metal.

But there were a couple things I failed to think about.

A couple of things being 

1# there is no fucking TP on this planet, also I had to dig a hole for fear of accidentally giving myself cholera or some nasty thing on accident by contaminating a water supply.

2# bed uncomfortable 

3# no sunscreen 

4# After a couple days your really start to smell like ass, now hold on for a minute there, I am completely in the habit of washing my ass,I promise, but I am telling you unwashed human just  smells like ass, no way around it, greasy nasty sweaty stank.

The clothes don’t help obviously, and I found a way to wash the clothes by rubbing them in the sand and using some sweet smelling leaves.

OF course you know the problem with all that, right?

Naked.

While on laundry day I am completely nude out in the sun on a tropical planet. If someone were to go flying overhead, they would see more than they bargained for, and way more than they wanted  as my pasty white ass flapped around in the breeze as they drove by.

A change of clothes was in order, so I spent the day, while my clothes were being washed, sitting on the sidelines using plant material, scraps and thread to pull together a rudimentary grass skirt/ loincloth of sorts

Now don’t think it didn’t cross my mind everyone.

I half expected god to descend from the sky and ask me what I was doing.

This whole covering your junk with leaves thing seems to be a theme for people named Adam  

And yes that was a biblical reference, I am in fact named after the first man, so this is a fitting bonding moment for me and my namesake.

The biggest issue of course is when everything slows down, late at night as I am trying to fall asleep, and I realize that…. I may be stuck here forever.

I will grow old and die alone on this island.

And no one will ever know.