#i get she has chronic pain from several of her issues

[bitchapalooza]

This probably makes me an asshole but after like 3 years of nonstop hearing it I honestly don't care when mom is saying she's in pain. Like okay? Then lay down, take medication, go to the emergency room what am I supposed to do with this information exactly? I'm not a doctor, I have no idea how to help you and after all these years you should know I have no idea how to comfort people besides sounding like a narcissist when I talk about my own pain in order to relate and show I'm listening and care. Also she uses it to one up people when they say they're in pain. She often repeats herself basically bragging about her pain for the attention. It feels like a fucking Boy Who Cried Wolf situation.

[trans-leek-cookie]

DNI IF YOU THINK GEGE IS A GOOD WRITER WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT.

[howtofightwrite]

So. There is no safe place (in the body) to be shot. There are places that are slightly safer than others to be stabbed (i.e. being stabbed in the meat of your calf is less likely to be lethal than your torso). For the purposes of an arrow wound, which feels like a combination of shot+stab for a swords n sorcery world, is there a “less lethal” place to take an arrow? My character is traveling with companions and gets into a fun little goblin skirmish. I need her to catch an arrow somewhere that will be concerning, but not immediately fatal. Magic Bullshit™️ will keep the wound from healing properly for a few days, but I’ve accounted for field wound care (cleaning and bandaging and such) as she’s being taken on horseback to get proper treatment.

Not deeply.

So, the problem with all of these is tissue disruption. If the injury gets deep enough, the chances that it will hit something vital (especially on the torso) increase dramatically. So, getting stabbed and having the blade catch bone, instead of getting in deeper is “relatively” safe. Similarly, getting stabbed (or shot) in the hand or foot is unlikely to kill you (though, those injuries are likely to result in permanent damage impairing the use of injured appendage.)

Arrows are a little different, in a couple of ways. First, if you get shot, you do not want to pull that off (nor break it off and push it through.) That will increase the risk of bleeding out. Arrows make fairly large holes in people, but if the arrow sticks in the wound (which, it should) it will actually limit the amount of bleeding. Effectively the wound has a partial plug in it. Pulling out the arrow means that plug is no longer there, and they can happily bleed to death on the spot.

The second thing about arrows is that they actually pin muscle together. Think of it a bit like holding two pieces of meat together with a toothpick. If the toothpick isn't there, the pieces can slide across each other without issue, but that's not possible when there's a wooden shaft running through them. Your muscles are a complex web of meat, that slide over each other as you move. Pinning those together means that part of your body will actually lock up. For example, if you're shot in the shoulder, you won't be able to adjust the position of your arm. It's been toothpicked, and it's not going anywhere.

Arrowheads can get wedged in bone. If it's a broad head, or hunting tip, that will be obnoxious to get out.

At the risk of reading too much into your setting, goblins often means poisons, or other nastiness. Though, really, even just getting a tetanus infection (it used to be called “lock jaw”) from their blades is a pretty horrific potential fate. Even if the wounds themselves were relatively minor (cuts and scrapes, maybe a graze or two), a couple days might still result in some pretty horrific harm after the fact.

Also, remember, it's unlikely that bacteria will be understood by the medical science of your setting. So, first aid would still run a real risk of secondary infections.

Depending on their skill in first aid, anything outside of a severed artery or catastrophic organ damage should be (technically) survivable, though the wounds could easily result in permanent impairments, depending on exactly what was hit. A punctured lung might not kill her, but it could result in permanent respiratory issues, such as a cough, and chronic pain while breathing heavily from then on. It could also result in pneumonia and death, which is also, usually, pretty permanent.

Some of this depends more on where you want to land on a spectrum between dark fantasy and swords & sorcery. The genres are similar (and potentially overlapping), but can scatter out into dramatically different works. But, you do have some options on how you want to proceed.

-Starke

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[headspace-hotel]

facts about The Fear, after 20 years of life with her

The Fear is NOT:

an intruder, invader, or some other entity from "outside" You

inappropriate, wrong, or incorrect

a responsibility

a punishment

"irrational" or otherwise able to be understood through a relationship to "rationality"

an "inaccurate" representation of reality

The Fear IS:

an innate part of you

extra-rational—she exists outside and completely independent from "rationality" and does not respond to being judged according to that lens

self-love—her purpose is to protect you and keep you safe

self-sufficient—fear is a 100% whole, complete entity that doesn't "represent" or "reflect" something else

earnest—fear is always a 100% real experience that is exactly as it is felt, and, needing no comparison or reference to any external reality, it is not "dishonest" or "inaccurate"— it asserts a claim about only itself

subversive [not quite the word I am looking for but it will have to do]— is not necessarily beholden to social and cultural norms of what should be feared, how much, and how you should respond. She does not stop existing in the absence or suppression of vocabulary to describe her.

a demand for care— she does not just communicate to you but to the community you are part of; she calls attention to an obligation that this community has toward you, to make sure that you are safe within it and that your experiences are heard and understood.

yeah, so, i've had severe anxiety for my whole life and the way it's been treated and dealt with, and the way I've been taught to understand it, has really fucked me up so I am trying to lay the groundwork for understanding it differently

I think it's pretty fucked up that we're taught to see anxiety as deceptive or inaccurate. Now, obviously the images or projections in my fearful thoughts do not usually "reflect reality," but I have come to see this as...not particularly important?

Teaching an anxiety sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict "irrational" fear is, in my opinion, the same as teaching a chronic pain sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict pain with no clear physical source. You might as well speak of "irrational" pain, and pain has the same relationship to rationality that fear has.

"Irrationality" is a quality assigned to fear that is judged by an outside observer, or by the collective cultural biases and hang-ups of a society, as not appropriate to a given situation. This is total fucking nonsense and we should be talking about that, because...well, the first reason is that it implies some kind of fixed standard for what fear ultimately is and isn't for. i like to tell people to watch one of those Coyote Peterson videos where he's going to get a tarantula hawk wasp to sting him, because he's obviously having a strong physical fear response, even though he knows it won't kill him. Is it "rational" to fear suffering and not just death? How much suffering? Sit with that one a little while.

The second reason, which is even more convincing, is that the "rational" brain is not consulted at any point, ever, when a person feels afraid. It's just a response. The fear response is not routed through the conscious, sapient, reasoning brain. And thank God, because if we needed to hear back from an upstairs executive before we could decide whether to run from a lion, our species would be extinct.

Techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy were absolute fucking shit at making my life any better, but fantastic at wrecking my ability to identify my own emotions, because Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety basically amounts to trying to brainwash yourself into thinking you don't feel the emotions that you do. It's a really neat way to develop bizarre psychosomatic symptoms and start experiencing anxiety through constant body pain, swollen lymph nodes, and digestive issues.

For an institution that pathologizes having "alters," psychiatry sure loves to encourage a suffering person to view normal and ultimately good parts of themselves as distinct, intruding entities to be shoved in a closet somewhere.

And yes. Fear is ultimately a good part of you, a part of you that loves you.

What began to set me free was feeling that acid terror and sickness and rage course through my body and realizing—really realizing—that I was being illuminated with this ancient, powerful force driving me to LIVE.

I want us to make it. I want you to live.

And you know what, I want me to live too.

I abandoned the doctrine of calming down—Lord knows it had never worked anyway—and started really just exploring and existing in the Fear.

How did that feel? Bad. Very very very very very bad and really not productive or helpful at all initially. Which was unavoidable. Necessary. She had been frantically clawing to communicate with me for so long, and I had been shutting her away, silencing her, resenting her presence in my psyche. I started trying to show gratitude toward the signals my body gave me. I started trying to show gratitude toward her—and i guess the Fear was a Her now, this just seemed more respectful.

And it seemed like nothing happened, but several things happened.

I stopped searching for validation. That was a big one. At some point I just...stopped needing a "reason" or justification for the fear I felt (trauma???? neurodivergence???? neurodivergence trauma????) and the fact that I experienced it became completely sufficient and satisfying to me. So much guilt and confusion disappeared.

I also became steadily more confident about my own boundaries, particularly in regards to recovery.

It's awful now that I think about it, but I think I felt this sense of almost moral obligation towards "recovery," as if I needed to "overcome fear" to be Courageous and Virtuous. It made me feel crushing guilt to feel any hesitation about this.

But then this started to change. It became more real to me that was the only person affected by the steps I did or didn't take toward recovery, and there was no moral dimension to it. A therapist couldn't put me in a box I wouldn't willingly go into.

Freedom from these judgmental frameworks is really important to me. I think that I always hated the idea of getting "better" because it seemed like "better" would mean just getting better at submitting to things I was afraid of while everything felt just as bad as it always did on the inside.

And on some level—even though I could never put it into words at the time—I violently hated the idea of "recovery" from some of my fears because it seemed like the ultimate denial of agency. I didn't want to "become okay with it"—the possibility felt dehumanizing. It felt awful.

And I realize now that this is because The Fear represented something I needed to have a right to. Many of my most life-destroying fears centered around things being done to my body, and if I could have pressed a button and been no longer afraid, I wouldn't have, even though it would have spared me so much suffering, because...I needed it to be okay to want agency over my body. I needed it to be right. The Fear, in this case, was a demand that my body be treated as sacred.

I realized that there were many cases where The Fear was a territorial claim of sorts, a demand that certain needs be honored and met—She needs this. This is FUCKING non-negotiable.

And it really...prompted me to look backward on my life and see The Fear differently: not as a responsibility I had failed to shoulder (me?? a little child??? responsible?? Responsible for being brave, when every day felt like facing a firing squad?????) but as a collective responsibility

Because I was not alone in those memories—I was surrounded by adults that saw me suffering, and often dismissed, ignored or ridiculed it. The Fear grew larger and larger; why?—to protect me. Because teachers, nurses, doctors, and camp counselors did not do any of the thousand thousand things they could have done to make that little girl feel safe. Because my well-meaning parents praised me when I was "brave" but I, a little kid, literally couldn't communicate how awful it always felt.

The Fear was not there to torture me. The Fear was and is doing her best to keep me safe. It's not wrong, there's no need for guilt. It just is.

It doesn't feel good. But maybe one day it will feel better.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole if I refused to pay my phone bill?

📱🧾♿️ <- To recognize my post for later :)

The title is probably already a bit of a red flag, but I genuinely didn’t know how else to word it…

For context: I am a disabled, chronically and mentally ill trans guy who recently turned 20. I haven’t left home yet for a lot of reasons, some being that my parents promised to let me live rent-free so long as I was in college (which I am, just not currently for the summer) as well as the fact that they really haven’t raised me to be very independent and rely solely on them (which is honestly a whole other can of worms), but primarily because of my disability. It isn’t safe for me to live on my own, as I faint commonly, cannot stand up for more than maybe fifteen minutes at a time roughly, and sometimes am unable to eat for long periods of time due to debilitating nausea which leads to weakness. I also have severe chronic pain in my limbs and gut, something I’ve had most of my life, while my chronic illness I’ve only had for about a year and a half now and am still struggling to adjust to.

Because of my disability, I also can’t work a traditional job. I offer art commissions online, because I’m very passionate about art and it’s one of the few things I’m good at, and I haul in a decent amount, but certainly not enough to live off of. I make enough to set aside some good savings (I’m currently saving for a wheelchair, as that might grant me more freedom and the potential to get a job at least for the summer) while also indulging myself in buying the occasional fatty treat (I’m very underweight so that’s not an issue, and I was raised essentially in an almond mom household all my life, so this form of eating is really the only sense of control I have over my life, as I’m fully dependent on my parents elsewise).

The issue has come upon relatively recently. I feel like a huge entitled brat for it as well, and if others believe the same, I sincerely don’t blame you.

My mom sat me down the other day and said that she expected me to start paying at least one bill. She offered my cheapest bill (which would be for my phone; my parents bought it, and it’s theirs, they’re just letting me use it as my own.. I don’t own a whole lot of “my” items myself) and asked what I thought about that. I was fully honest with her: if I had a steady stream of income, I wouldn’t hesitate to offer to pay for all of my bills, but with the way it stands, I just don’t make enough month-to-month to regularly afford the bill. I also do my commissions through my phone, so if I could afford the bill, my phone would be turned off, and I’d be unable to continue.

My mom got very upset and started talking to me like a child (though she really has every right to, honestly, and I know that). She went on a very long rant about teaching me responsibility, and how I can’t rely on my parents forever, and that I need to grow up at some point… All things that I fully agree with. I sincerely want to! I want nothing more than to be fully independent. But the way it stands, my parents cover my entire medical bills and they pay for my meds… And I just don’t make enough to survive on my own, and I can just barely afford a meal or two from a sandwich shop I enjoy twice a month to keep my sanity in check because I’m usually bedbound.

I tried explaining to her that I would if I could, sincerely, and that I’m not trying to be a leech or lazy, but she wasn’t having it. She just scolded me and said that if I can afford to eat out every month, then I can afford the phone bill. But again, with the way things are, I don’t think I’d be able to do it every month without tapping into my savings, which again, is for my wheelchair so I can regain some sense of freedom for myself. I’m seriously debating just telling her no straight out, but I don’t know what the aftermath might look like…

So, sincerely: Am I in the wrong here? Should I just swallow my protests and cough up the money somehow? I really don’t know and would love an outside perspective.

[amyintherapy]

Things I've Learned in 18 months of therapy

When people repeat the same patterns of behavior that are more negative than positive, it's usually trauma related. Examples: Your sister who has dated 15 different men who all are emotionally unavailable, short-fused guys who don't respect her. Or your aunt who has gotten into severe debt several times in her life, always buying items she doesn't need. Or your friend who has always befriended people who are not disabled but don't work and chronically need 'favors' so they end up allowing people to mooch off them to the point of it harming their own financial security. Basically anytime you find yourself frustrated and wondering 'why do they always DO that?" or "why don't they just do X instead? They always do Y which just makes things worse..." the answer likely is, they have trauma related to this issue, and/or their behavior is related to their trauma response that they are stuck in. Of course, this is true for you also! If you keep reacting to certain situations in a way you dislike, or going back to a coping method that you see as harmful and can't figure out why you can't stop...it's probably trauma related in some way.

Part of being traumatized involves your brain trying to hide the trauma from you..at least most of it, if not all of it. My therapist has used the example of a piece of paper that is standing upright. You might see the fine edge of the paper, so you sometimes know a piece of paper is in front of you, but you can only see the edge, so when that paper finally gets turned so that it's facing you and you can read everything written on it, it kinda knocks you over and you feel like you should have known all of that all along...after all, the paper was right there. But you couldn't read it before, and you didn't even know there was all that writing on it anyway so you didn't realize such a big piece of your puzzle was missing. In other cases, the paper may be more like...trapped in a book, so it was always there, but you had no idea it was as you thought it was just part of the book, not this hand-written note hidden inside. So anyway, it's very normal to feel shocked at how lacking in awareness you were about the full impact or detail of your trauma once you get on a roll with therapy. I always knew I had trauma, and I've always been a self-reflective person...so I thought I was self aware of my trauma. But I've been surprised at how much I was failing to see fully.

ADHD is stupidly named. Having ADHD doesn't mean you have a deficit of attention. It means you can't control (aka regulate) your attention the way most people can. Tons of people with ADHD would tell you that they feel like they have too much attention. They are interested in ALL the things which is why they struggle to keep their focus on one thing while blocking out everything else going on around them. The things you do that cause you problems, were things you originally did to protect yourself. For example, maybe your addiction started because you were reaching for emotional relief and had no other (healthier) way to make yourself feel better. Or maybe you shut down and isolate when you're hurt, because when you tried reaching out for support as a child it just made things worse because your caregiver was reactive instead of supportive. Endless examples, but people do things for a reason. Your coping methods have a logical cause of some kind or another, even if they do more harm than good now, that wasn't always the case. At one time, they helped you cope with or avoid some bigger pain or problem. Depression and anxiety are both forms of avoiding other feelings. Much of general society knows the concept that "anger is a secondary emotion" (which is only sometimes true, it's also a core emotion) but I didn't know this was true of anxiety and depression. They're always secondary emotions. However, it's important to differentiate between sadness and depression, and fear and depression. Fear and sadness/grief are core emotions, but anxiety and depression are secondary. The fact that I am detail-focused and couldn't be concise if my life depended on it, are both ADHD related for me. Social anxiety is usually attachment trauma aka an insecure attachment. Anxiety and depression are often caused by trauma. I wish I knew this earlier. I spent a lot of time thinking of my anxiety was simply genetic or sort of temperament based and therefore unlikely to be healed or fixed. I don't mean to suggest that genetics or temperment isn't some element but...I can't help but wonder how many people are like me and don't realize they could heal a lot of their anxiety or depression by doing trauma work. I'm definitely still an anxious person, but I've seen a really big improvement in my anxiety. More than I thought was possible two years ago. Most kids and teenagers are avoidant in therapy, so they don't usually see as much progress from the experience, at least compared to adults. It's often a rather slow process to see improvement. However, it's still really helpful in the longrun if they have a positive experience with therapy as a teen, they're likely to try again as an adult when they're really ready to face their issues. Online, I've seen child therapists outright say that their #1 goal with kids in therapy is to make them think of therapy positively so they'll come back to therapy when they're older! I saw some progress in therapy as a teen for sure, but the 4+ years of it resulted in roughly as much (if not less?) progress than I've seen in 18 months of therapy as an adult. Apparently that's quite common. Talking about trauma feels awful, and it often makes me leave trauma-related therapy appointments wondering if there is any point or if i'm just making myself sad. A "okay, I understand this issue I have now was caused by XYZ experience from my past...but wtf do I DO about it? I understand it now, but I still have no clue how to fix it?" type of feeling. This is the result of being too close to the current day to see the full picture. Over the course of time, the benefits and healing always become apparent to me.

People who get angry often are sort of the opposite of me. I default to feeling anxious when I "should" feel angry (like when someone is rude to me), and sometimes also when I 'should' be sad. Most people who experience chronic anger are simply people who are converting their fear and/or sadness into anger. It's sometimes the difference between being an internalize and an externalize. Anger is an external emotion, fear/anxiety is an internal one. So if you struggle to externalize, you'll convert anger to sadness or fear, and if you struggle to internalize you'll convert sadness and fear to anger.

My "small t" traumas - like emotional neglect, are at least as impactful as my "big T" trauma (sexual abuse) was.

Sensory issues are common in ADHD, not just autism even though the content online often makes it seem exclusive to ASD.

I am probably forgetting a lot, but if I don't publish this now I never will. So if I think of more later, I'll just add on. :)

[genderqueerdykes]

I really really appreciate the posts about fat acceptance and stuff. I used to be pretty underweight but I've definitely gained weight (and muscle too I'm sure) on HRT, the way it sits/distrubuted on me is something that is hard to see sometimes and there's a lot of parental commentary about fat people that needs to be worked on.

hey, you're welcome! i'm glad you agree

gaining weight isn't always bad, in fact for many people, it can be an outright blessing. people can have a wide variety of conditions that can lead them to being chronically underweight, and putting on even a few pounds was seen as a huge accomplishment and a safety net. my best friend is this way

even if it's not required for one's health, putting on weight isn't inherently bad. every person's body has a range in which it attempts to naturally sit for their baseline weight. this will vary greatly from person to person based off of activity levels, hormone levels, genetics, individual dietary needs vs. dietary intake, digestive issues, eating disorders, allergies, food intolerance, neurodivergence, developmental disorders, and more.

the way i see it is it becomes very obvious to a person when their weight has actually come to negatively affect them. this will be marked in a decline in energy, feeling fatigued and malaise most of the time, headaches, difficulty getting out of bed, increased chronic pain including pain while standing or walking, breathing difficulties, difficulty walking/moving long distances for reasons not due to joint or connective tissue health, becoming pre/diabetic suddenly if one was not before, and/or other health complications that were not present before the amount of weight was gained

most fat, chubby, etc. people are sitting well within the healthy range for their body without realizing it. our bodies are great at telling us what they need it's just hard to listen when we're busy, exhausted, and/or neurodivergent. many people have a good idea of what their body needs but get talked or shamed out of doing what's right for them. parents, like you said, are especially uptight and strict about weight for seemingly no reason.

i've always been fat my whole life. once i reached my teen years i began to hover around the 300 lb range and that's where i've always been. my mom was fat and so was my dad, and both of their families. my mom projected so much of her fatphobia on to me it was unreal. she would critcize me any time i wanted a snack by asking "you're eating again?" and other dumb shit. children are growing and active, they need a lot of food, especially for good brain function (yes, our brains need fuel, revolutionary concept, i know)

i don't understand why parents desperately NEED their children to be physically attractive to them. can we talk about this? i know it's uncomfortable but this is a huge parental issue. i am SO tired of hearing parents go ON AND ON about how "beautiful" or "handsome" their children are. it's extremely creepy, there's no reason to focus on their appearance like that. some parents become SO distressed when their children are not conventionally attractive, as if it makes them less attractive by proxy. it's insanely creepy. a child's conventional beauty or lack there of should be of no concern to a parent- why do some parents obsess over this? it gives the child severe body image issues and it's not a good level of vanity to project on to a kid

anyway, it's okay to be fat, especially if you find you're not struggling with pain or mobility. some people will have pain and mobility issues no matter what weight they're at. everyone's different. someone's weight is their own concern and nobody else's, unless there is medical significance in which case it is between them and their medical team. not every fat person has health issues due to their weight, in fact, most do not. it's okay to let your body be the weight it wants to be

nobody should have to constantly feel like they have to be fighting their own biology just to look "more attractive". people are attractive when they look the most like their real, natural selves. it's way more flattering and it's better for the individual. don't expect other people to go through hell just to look "good". just let people be themselves. let people feel good, and feel good about themselves. worry about yourselves when it comes to appearance

anyway, thank you for the feedback, i really appreciate it! i will always be here for other fat folk because i've gone through many interesting situations with diet and health and my weight always sits around the 300 mark give or take 20 lbs in either direction. my lowest weight as an adult was 260 lbs. my highest was 360. muscle tissue plays a huge factor in this right now for me. i have clothes in my closet that range from literally Small all the way up to XXXL and they all fit me just fine. weight isn't as big of a deal as people think it is, it's a very neutral thing most of the time

[lizzydizzyyo]

I think what's really compelling about House's absolute unwillingness to bow down to anything or anyone (the ethical board, the law, extra rich CEO, vindictive police officer, and even the patients themselves) regardless of how absolutely batshit and downright illegal his actions are, is because it's coming from a chronically disabled person, in more ways than one.

He cannot walk without agony or his cane. His chronic and severe pain led him down the path of deep Vicodin addiction until he also becomes psychologically dependent on it too (once, Dr Cuddy gives him saline placebo and it "works", in that he is not feeling his leg pain anymore for a few hours).

He understands it deeply just how desperate people can be when they're in pain and nobody can (or are willing to) help them—at least, so far, until they land on his doorstep. Which is canonically the most extreme step patients take when everything else fails—you don't just go straight to Plainsborough Teaching Hospital and to Dr Gregory House MD's office; you have to go through dozens of other doctors in various specialties and failed treatments too.

(Although that's a separate discussion about how doctors, particularly resident ones, are overworked and underpaid and redtaped by shithead insurance companies even if they do know how to treat a patient and want to).

He knows, from the bottom of his heart, that having such a painful and life-limitting debilitating condition is comparable to hell on earth, because he has one. He knows, that despite his disability being visible to everyone, yet no one wants to put an effort to help him deal with it—is also hell on earth.

Cuddy simply throws money at him and turns the other way to his Vicodin abuse, like she is saying, "I don't care if he takes 10 Vicodin pills a day or more, and I have to pay at least $1M every year for lawsuits, as long as he gets the job done," (and when they decide to go into relationship, she immediately drops him when he relapses, even if the reason for his relapse is her—although, yes, there is another discussion to be had about keeping yourself and your child(ren) safe being a priority compared to helping an addict, recovering or not). Wilson, as loyal as he is to House, simply either enables him or lectures him without going into the root of the issue and thoroughly help House that way. His subordinates, especially after the original trio, are simply too scared, too ignorant, or too ambitious to even approach the issue and choose to keep their job than help House (also another discussion to be had about how you can't help people who don't want to help themselves and so on).

So when he sees a patient who has gone through hell trying to get a correct diagnosis and treatment, he becomes laser-focused on doing everything under the sun to get to the bottom of it and cure the patient. He doesn't care if he has to break into countless of houses (haha pun) and collect insane and probably biohazard samples to do it—he absolutely will, no question.

Yes, hate-criming and being a bigot is his favorite hobby (still livid at the asexual ep and the production's choice for the resolution, let's just say I still have beef with Hugh Laurie and the entire production team for it), and so is insulting patients in so many ways that Shakespeare would personally fly to New Jersey and shake his hands if someone manage to successfully perform necromancy on ol' Billy boy. But House is no one if not dedicated. "Yes, my patient is an idiot, everyone is an idiot too, but I WILL cure their condition like my life depends on it," is basically his middle name.

Besides, you can make the argument that he is more compassionate than all the other doctors around him, because despite his absolute disdain towards some of his patients' beliefs and stupidity, he still works his ass off to treat them. He will call your god an idiot in 7 different languages while putting you in a diagnostic machine he manipulated the whole hospital into letting him use so that you could get a test which weren't available to you before. He will tell you that your currently-happy marriage will end in a bloody divorce and your ex will leave you penniless so love is not real while injecting you with a medication he had to hack the CDC's database for.

There are even episodes that show him being truly earnest, like the clinic duty scene where he is snarky as usual to a girl who seemingly stupidly had unprotected sex until she lashes out, and House is like, "Oh shit, this is above my paygrade", and immediately goes to Cuddy with a very serious expression and no sarcastic dilly-daliying, demanding her to transfer the patient to someone else because he is not good with "curing" rape case (interesting choice on the writers' part to make the patient insist to have therapy with House, though).

There is an episode about a very workaholic woman executive in a fashion company who has tremor and partial paralysis, and later on it's shown that she seems to tie her worth as a person to her corporate success while band-aiding her deep psychological issue like her suicidal ideation, and House genuinely asks her, "Do you want to live? I cannot help you unless you want me to," or something along the line.

There is also the cursed 9-year-old terminal brain cancer episode where Chase kissed the patient (ew), where at first it shows House being a usual misanthophe to Wilson and saying, "She is not brave, it's the brain tumor clot talking because it must be near the amygdala." Later in the episode, House sits near the patient alone, and compassionately asks her if she even wants to live, going through the rest of her short-lived but horrible agony, even if they catch the clot. The surgery to find and get rid of the clot is risky and can debilitate her even more, and this is why House is laying the decision to her hands. That she gets to choose. This is what truly reveals to him that she is genuinely brave (aside from the scan showing the clot to be so far away from her amygdala), but for the wrong reason. She is brave for her mom, willing to go through horrible surgery and drag out her already painful cancer-ridden life because, "My mom needs me". When everyone is congratulating her in the end, you can tell House has a bittersweet expression of both awe towards her bravery, and sadness that this 9-year-old sick girl has to bear the brunt of her horrible pain just so that her mother is not sad. That he couldn't convince her to be a child until the nearing end of her life.

The most interesting evidence of his compassion to me is the gunman hostage episode. It might sound weird because in the whole episode, he is depicted to first want to outsmart the gunman patient, then becomes laser-focused but only because he sees it as a puzzle, then absolutely selfish and dangerous because he volunteers himself as the last hostage and gives the gun back to the guy after the MRI. I do think it's true that his dedication to solving patients-are-just-puzzle-to-me conditions shines through in the episode, especially the scene of him returning his gun, but there is something else I catch when I rewatched it before.

When the gunman patient is put in the MRI because Cameron tells him a theory through the hostage call, the remaining doctors in the room including House are wary at the gunman but also hopeful. Yet, when the result shows up on the screen, he realizes that the theory is wrong and the guy let go his only bargaining chip for nothing. If you watch this part carefully, you'll notice that House actually looks pitying and sad at the gunman's disappointed demeanor and expression. He realizes he is going to be another notch in the guy's failed doctors list, and at this point (with the gun given away and even the best, most talented doctor also not finding out what's wrong with him), the guy has given up hope that he will ever see the day he will be cured, certainly not behind the bars.

Yes, his thirst for puzzle is House's big driving force in giving back the gun, but you'll be lying to yourself if you don't notice House's compassion for the guy because he doesn't want the guy to go out empty-handed, with absolutely no more hope because House knows once they step out of the door, this guy will never, ever be allowed to be in the vicinity of any hospital or doctor ever again in his life, aside from jail's bare-minimum exams and medications. House can't handle the thought of putting someone else through his own disappointment—that nothing works to help his leg pain. He especially doesn't want to be the cause for this gunman guy's case either. Even in the end when House realizes the guy is a fucking moron because he doesn't know that Florida is, in fact, in earthwide-horizontal tropical zone and this is what stumps most of the guy's previous doctors—House still gives him a subtle salute to the guy while being handcuffed and led away, almost to say, "Enjoy your healing and the defeat of your arch nemesis The Sickness™, glad to be part of it."

Majority of his drive to stop at nothing until his patient is cured is definitely thanks to his own fucked-up leg, even if there are some dialogues with Cuddy and Stacy Warner (House's ex wife) that seem to imply he has always been a misanthrophe whose hobby is getting into malpractice (or general) lawsuits. I wholeheartedly believe that after his leg clot rendered him disabled and with chronic pain, he became much more dedicated and obsessed with getting to the bottom of a patient's medical information, even for info that seems innocuous or irrelevant that always turn out to be important (probably more like a plot armor than established characterization, to be honest), almost like this is his method of relating to the patients in his own weirdly human way, and maybe a little bit (actually, a lot) of projecting.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[turbulentscrawl]

Survivor's Health HCs

This a just something I made just musing over hcs about some of the survivor’s poor physical wellness. Also, this is just survivors, as most of the hunters are technically undead.

Norton

He’s physically fit and has put on a lot of weight since coming to the manor, but he’s still recovering from various vitamin and mineral deficiencies. Years of a poor-man’s diet will do that. The worst of his condition, however, is the black lung from his time in the mines. He frequently has trouble breathing, wheezes and coughs a lot, and is prone to bouts of dizziness. The manor’s healing rules prevents his black lung from progressing, but it’s also not getting any better. Additionally, his sleep patterns are erratic due to nightmares and mood swings.

Luca

He’s malnourished, both from his miserable time in prison and an unfortunate habit of forgetting to eat. Additionally, the electrical accident caused extensive damage to his nervous system, which has caused a myriad of issues, including memory problems, frequent migraines, a poor immune system, and an overall weak constitution.

Emil

He also has extensive nervous system damage from the shock therapy he received in the asylum, as well as several other issues resulting from the drugs he was constantly given. He suffers from memory loss, brittle bones, low blood pressure, and (despite Ada’s best efforts) a lot of chronic pain. He also suffers from night terrors and occasionally will be up for days on end.

Vera

She’s picked up several bad habits after learning the truth about her sister, which come-and-go sporadically. She suffers from nightmares and sometimes doesn’t sleep for days, occasionally feels nauseous and refuses food, and will even drink herself into a stupor when her mood is bad enough. She suffers from digestive issues because of these, along with her stress levels, and sometimes can’t keep food down when she does eat. Her throat bothers her a lot from frequent exposure to stomach acid, and her teeth have been in better shape.

Joker

He’s a grazer, as far as eating goes, and doesn’t tend to get all his vitamins and minerals as a result. His leg deformity was partially amputated to allow for his prosthetic, but he didn’t receive all the proper care after the surgery. He suffers from a lot of phantom pains in that leg now.

Anne

She isolates herself a lot, and tends to miss meals as a result. Because of this, she’s underweight. She also suffers from scoliosis and frequent back pain as a result of hunching over her toys for long hours.

Healthiest Survivors: William, Ganji, Alice, Martha, Eli

[alicerosejensen]

Just headcanons with Leon and his daughter who has a chronic illness

Leon x daughter!sick (diabetes, epilepsy or any other severe chronic disease)

√ Hey, Leon carefully guards his child! however, there are not always things from which he can protect his daughter.

√ I see Leon as a very caring father. He will worry if his daughter's knee is torn from a fall from a bicycle and carefully treat her wound and bind it up if necessary. He will also monitor how her childhood injuries are healing.

√ Having seen so many horrors in the world, Leon takes even a simple cold seriously. If the temperature does not decrease even after taking an antipyretic, Leon will prefer to take his daughter to the hospital.

√ Leon hardly knows the symptoms of the diseases, but he noticed an unusual dryness of the skin and the smell of acetone in combination with other symptoms. If his daughter loses consciousness in front of him, it will drive him crazy. All the way to the hospital, Leon will hold her in his arms and kiss her on the forehead or the top of her head.

√ Nevertheless, he will not allow himself to show fear of his daughter. No matter at what age she is diagnosed with it, Leon will be her strongest support. He will learn everything about this disease and his concern will only increase.

√ He is paid very well for risks at work, so the question of money is never acute. Leon will make sure that his baby receives good treatment, which will be corrected by doctors in time and he will repeatedly take her to an endocrinologist and other necessary examinations.

√ Measure your blood sugar level every day and make sure that the insulin injection is done on time? Papa Leon is watching this very carefully. He even keeps a blood sugar control log.

√ Does she need a home education? Leon will study this issue, and if necessary, then no problem.

√ It is important to understand that under no circumstances will he leave his child alone with these diseases. He will never tell his wife/girlfriend to deal with this shit alone.

√ Will take her to all medical procedures.

√ He's such a loving dad. He always convinces his little girl that her illness does not make her inferior. Spends time with her looking for classes available to her.

√ He will definitely not allow his child to be offended.

√ He will turn on her cartoons and lie next to her in the nursery until she falls asleep. Actually, Leon, because of his daughter's illness, can check her well-being even at night.

√ He definitely knows how to provide first aid, but for the sake of his daughter, learn to put injections more carefully so as not to leave bruises and not cause her great pain.

√ Always consults with specialists on any medical issues.

√ Leon will always take care of his child's well-being. This is what he highlights, if nerves or stress affect her health, then he will comfort her and say that no excitement is worth her well-being. For Leon, the daughter is a little diamond, no matter what she is ill with.

√ If a chronic illness is caused by a severe injury (for example, a traumatic brain injury), Leon will literally hate himself for not looking after his child well.

√Again, medications are very expensive, as well as treatment, but Leon is ready to do everything possible so that his child does not need anything. If she gets epilepsy later, Leon will try to always be there to help his baby.

√ Leon will always try to be there. When she is in the hospital, he will provide her with the full care that is possible.

√ It does not matter what kind of disease she has, he will still study the Internet and books studying this diagnosis in order to know better how to help his child.

√ Perhaps his daughter will be banned from playing sports or attending summer camps, depending on how serious everything is, then Leon will try to find a good alternative with her.

√ All medicines will always be at hand.

[cutiesncantrips]

Alright, I kinda have an AITA post but like... I don't want to use Reddit, so I'm gonna post it here because fuck it, I'm running out of fucks to give. Strap in if you care, it's a ramble.

So long story short: I live in a hoarder house. It's basically exactly what you picture, filth everywhere, there's too much stuff laying around not being used.

Basically it's been getting this way over the last several years, well before Covid started, for a number of reasons; we've taken in a couple people who weren't exactly neat people themselves, we've taken in some animals we weren't able to keep up with, and basically we were overloaded with boxes from our old house (also a hoarding den) that we weren't ready to deal with since we were more freshly moved in.

Now the big reasons we haven't dealt with it are namely that I'm of course mentally ill (we're getting some testing done within the next month to get it properly figured out, but I suspect things like ADHD, OCD, and I've definitely had depression for many years), my mom has severe chronic pain and mobility issues, and both her and my brother (the other two people I live with) likely have some mental issues of their own, but they aren't currently seeking help for it as far as I'm aware.

Basically my issue is we are the ones who let it get this bad, and I'm not entirely convinced we're capable of getting this health hazard of a house sorted out, let alone doing it safely and within a reasonable time frame. Now I wasn't aware until this year that there were actually some services in our city we could call for exactly this problem, people who can come in and help us clean (at no cost, to my understanding). But both my mom and brother adamantly refuse to allow that option.

And I also feel it's important to mention: we still have a dog who is very neglected. She lives in a sectioned off area of the house (a central room, meaning I'm unable to walk across the house or access the kitchen at all) surrounded by her own filth. This is the remaining dog, we formerly had 3 dogs in that room, and two cats. I have tried telling my mom we needed to give these animals away, and again have been told no, and within the last year the other animals have all passed away, never getting moved into proper homes who could keep up with their needs.

So really, do I sound like I'm the one in the wrong wanting to call in help? It's not like I have my own independent income, let alone enough to move out, nor do I have any friends in the area I can move in with. And even if I got myself out, I can't excuse the animal abuse. What should I do here?

[jaywalkers]

hi róisín, since ur in med, i was wondering : is aftg v medically accurate ?

hihi! i'll preface with that i'm not a med student, i'm a final year paramedic student, but i think my scope and areas of practice fit the antics the foxes get into in aftg enough to comment on it!

i won't talk on aftg's take on medications, antipsychotics or otherwise, because a lot of other lovely people who are far more educated on the topic have written about it! when it comes to aftg's treatment of injuries, though, i do have some things to say.

i'm going to tee up a couple of examples of frontline medical treatment in aftg and make some comments on them! granted they're very messy, but i hope they're understandable enough.

from the best, to the worst:

kevin's hand

i don't think it's unfeasible that kevin was back to playing capacity two years after his injury happened — while i think that his hand was probably severely fractured, and there was likely different fingers involved too, with good surgical intervention (which he was likely able to access) hand fractures, even complex ones, can be healed enough in 4-6 months.

the ligament injuries would be the more pertinent, and i think those would be the more pressing concern for him outside of the healed bones, considering ligament injuries can cause chronic issues not limited to pain. i would be surprised if abby was the sole medical provider for the foxes, because while she does appear to be a well-rounded sports nurse, kevin probably would have needed to work with a dedicated physiotherapist and/or a hand specialist to get the use of his hand semi-back to normal.

other questions abt kevin's medical problems? please observe here

2. neil's wounds post baltimore

when it comes to how these wounds are treated by medical staff, i have no concerns. the hospital neil is brought to by the FBI seems to have treated the wounds well and left him to sleep off any negative follow-on effects from the chloroform. the only thing i have qualms with is the implication from the hotel scene that the hospital has put an adhesive dressing over neil's burn on his cheek, which is a big no in wound-dressing — burned skin is very delicate, and adhesives can damage or rip it away with removal. it's why we use glad-wrap in the prehsopital setting for burns, because it's sterile and not sticky!

abby, when she gets her hands on neil, changes the bandages so the wounds can be visualised and aired out, cleans them again, and then re-dresses them cleanly. i have no issues here.

when it comes to how these wounds are treated by andrew, i have only this text from my brother when he first read the series a couple of years ago

throughout the series, including post-nest, andrew is constantly getting his grubby little mitts in neils fresh wounds. he should not be doing that. in particular in the hotel scene he peels away the adhesive dressing over a burn which is just a recipe for tissue-loss, severe pain, and increased risk of infection. i don't know how abby didn't scream because i would have.

just andrew. in general. yikes, my dude. don't do that.

3. jean

jean. he is the kicked dog of this series and i genuinely don't know how he was alive at the start of the book series, let alone at the end. at the start of the series, he has (according to the EC) experienced not only numerous fractures to various bones, but has had two incidences where he 'bashed his head open on the concrete', and needed 266 stitches total. also ten incidences of waterboarding.

if we break this down: that's two major head injuries, multiple incidences of significant amounts of blood loss, and ten incidences of asphyxial peri-arrest events.

it's further implied by both the novels and the extra content that jean was not given time to heal from these injuries, and instead had to play games. add to that the hours of the nest and the living conditions, and i actually cannot fathom how jean was not yet dead, by either a single incident or the culmination of many. exy is a contact sport. those head injuries, plus an accidental shoulder-check into the plexiglass could have, and should have killed him.

i'm glad he didn't. i think it's important that he didn't. but it is a miracle of biology and the sanctity of his cerebral blood vessels that he stays alive to the end of the books.

---

anyway i hope this all makes a bit of sense! im writing this half-mad with eight hours until my last exam for my 2nd to last semester so i'm running on energy drinks and way too much memorisation work of how benzos work. thank you for the question! and as always, please field more my way i LOVE this stuff.

[lesbianfeminists]

From heart disease to IUDs: How doctors dismiss women’s pain

Several studies support the claim that gender bias in medicine routinely leads to a denial of pain relief for female patients for a range of health conditions

One woman was told she was being “dramatic” when she pleaded for a brain scan after suffering months of headaches and pounding in her ears. It turned out she had a brain tumor. Another was ignored as she cried out in pain during a 33-hour labor. She was supposed to be getting pain medication through her epidural, but it had fallen out. Dozens of women complained of torturous pain as their vaginal walls were punctured during an egg retrieval process. They were told their pain was normal, but, in actuality, they were getting saline instead of anesthesia. These are just some of the stories of women who say their pain and suffering has been dismissed or misdiagnosed by doctors. Although these are anecdotal reports, a number of studies support the claim that women in pain often are not taken as seriously as men.

This year, the Journal of the American Heart Association reported that women who visited emergency departments with chest pain waited 29 percent longer than men to be evaluated for possible heart attacks. An analysis of 981 emergency room visits showed that women with acute abdominal pain were up to 25 percent less likely than their male counterparts to be treated with powerful opioid painkillers. Another study showed that middle-aged women with chest pain and other symptoms of heart disease were twice as likely to be diagnosed with a mental illness compared with men who had the same symptoms. “I was told I knew too much, that I was working too hard, that I was stressed out, that I was anxious,” said Ilene Ruhoy, a 53-year-old neurologist from Seattle, who had head pain and pounding in her ears. Despite having a medical degree, Ruhoy said she struggled to get doctors to order a brain scan. By the time she got it in 2015, a tennis ball-sized tumor was pushing her brain to one side. She needed surgery, but first, she rushed home, hugged her 11-year-old daughter and wrote her a letter to tell her goodbye.

Ruhoy did not die on the operating table, but her tumor had grown so large it could not be entirely removed. Now, she has several smaller tumors that require radiation treatment. She said many of her female patients have had experiences similar to hers. “They’re not validated with regards to their concerns; they’re gaslit; they’re not understood,” she said. “They feel like no one is listening to them.”

Doubts about women’s pain can affect treatment for a wide range of health issues, including heart problems, stroke, reproductive health, chronic illnesses, adolescent pain and physical pain, among other things, studies show. Research also suggests that women are more sensitive to pain than men and are more likely to express it, so their pain is often seen as an overreaction rather than a reality, said Roger Fillingim, director of the Pain Research and Intervention Center of Excellence at the University of Florida. Fillingim, who co-wrote a review article on sex differences in pain, said there are many possible explanations, including hormones, genetics and even social factors such as gender roles. Regardless, he said, “you treat the pain that the patient has, not the pain that you think the patient should have.”

Women say reproductive health complaints are commonly ignored

Women often cite pain bias around areas of reproductive health, including endometriosis, labor pain and insertion of an intrauterine device, or IUD. When Molly Hill made an appointment at a Connecticut clinic in 2017 to get an IUD, she said she was warned it would be uncomfortable, but she was not prepared for “horrific” pain. Hill, now 27 and living in San Francisco, recalled that during the procedure, she began crying in pain and shouted at the doctor to stop. “We’re almost done,” she said the doctor told her and continued the procedure. “It was full-body, electrifying, knife-stabbing pain,” she said. After it was done, she said she lay sobbing on the table in physical and emotional pain. “It felt violating, too, to have that pain that deep in your core where you feel the most vulnerable.”

Studies consistently show that women who have not experienced vaginal birth have much higher pain during IUD insertion compared with women who have given birth. A Swedish study found that among 224 women who had not given birth, 89 percent reported moderate or severe pain. One in six of the women said the pain was severe. Although numbing agents and local anesthetics are available, they are rarely used.

In some cases, women have sued physicians for ignoring their pain. Dozens of women sued Yale University claiming that during an egg harvesting procedure at its infertility clinic, they were supposed to be receiving the powerful painkiller fentanyl. But some women were getting only diluted pain medication or none at all, according to lawsuits filed in the state Superior Court in Connecticut. Later, the clinic discovered a nurse had been stealing vials of fentanyl and replacing the painkiller with saline solution. The nurse pleaded guilty last year and was sentenced for tampering with the drugs. One of the plaintiffs, Laura Czar, wrote about her experience for Elle magazine, describing it as “a horrible, gut-wrenching pain,” and told a doctor at the time, “I can feel everything you’re doing.” Despite her protests, the doctor continued. Yale said in a statement that it “deeply regrets” the women’s distress and has “reviewed its procedures and made changes to further oversight of pain control and controlled substances.”

Racial disparities in pain management

For Sharee Turpin, the pain of sickle-cell disease sometimes feels like tiny knives slicing her open. Sickle cell disease is an inherited blood disorder that can cause suffering so severe, its attacks are called “pain crises.” But when Turpin, who is Black, experiences a pain crisis, the 34-year-old does not rush to the ER in Rochester, N.Y. Instead, she combs her hair, mists some perfume and slips on her “Sunday best” in hopes that the doctors and nurses won’t peg her as a drug seeker, she said. Sometimes, Turpin gets a care team that understands her pain. Other times, she is treated as a bother. “I’ve even been told ‘shut up’ by a nurse because I was screaming too loud while I was in pain,” she said.

Abundant research shows racial bias in pain treatment. A 2016 study found half of white medical students and residents held at least one false belief about biological differences between Blacks and Whites, and were more likely to underestimate Black patients’ pain. “The management of pain is one of the largest disparities that we see between Black people and White people in the American health-care system,” said Tina Sacks, an associate professor at the University of California at Berkeley and author of “Invisible Visits: Black Middle-Class Women in the American Healthcare System.”

Labeling women “hysterical” or blaming psychological causes

Research shows men in chronic pain tend to be regarded as “stoic” while women are more likely to be considered “emotional” and “hysterical” and accused of “fabricating the pain.” Carol Klay, a 68-year-old from Tampa, had endured years of chronic pain from arthritis, degenerative disk disease and spinal stenosis. During a hospital stay last year, her doctor noted in her medical record that she was crying “hysterically.” Klay said she was crying because she was unable to sit, stand or walk without agony, and the doctor had removed morphine from her cocktail of pain medications. She wonders whether the doctor “would have called me hysterical if I was a man,” she said. Tampa General Hospital said it could not discuss specific patients, but stated: “Patient treatment plans, including medication orders to reduce pain, are prescribed by multi-disciplinary clinical teams.” Research shows women’s physical pain is also often attributed to psychological causes.

Jan Maderios, a 72-year-old Air Force veteran from Chipley, Fla., said the trauma of having pain dismissed by doctors has stayed with her for years. She saw about a dozen doctors in the early 1970s for pelvic pain. When clinicians could not identify the cause of her pain, she was referred to a psychiatrist.

“You start to doubt yourself after so many medical experts tell you there’s nothing wrong with you,” she said. After a hysterectomy in 1976, Maderios learned that fibroid tumors in her uterus had been the source of her pain. She said learning her pain was real — and physical — “made all the difference in the world.”

Why women’s pain complaints often aren’t taken seriously

During a 33-hour labor with her first child in 2011, Anushay Hossain, 42, of D.C., opted for epidural pain relief but said she still felt it all — every contraction, every cramp and every dismissal of her pain by her medical team. The doctor reassured her that she was getting the maximum dosage of pain medication.

In fact, she wasn’t getting any at all. She said her epidural had slipped out. By the time the error was caught, she was shaking uncontrollably and in need of an emergency Caesarean section, she said. “There’s a pain gap, but there’s also a credibility gap,” said Hossain, author of “The Pain Gap: How Sexism and Racism in Healthcare Kill Women.” “Women are not believed about their bodies —period.”

This pain gap may stem, in part, from the fact that women have historically been excluded from medical research. It wasn’t until 2016 that the National Institutes of Health (NIH) required sex to be considered as a biological variable in most studies it funded. “We’re making progress,” said David Thomas, special adviser to the director of NIH’s Office of Research on Women’s Health. “But we do have a long way to go because there’s this whole institutional approach to doing research — pain and beyond — where it tends to be male-focused.”

Nearly 95 percent of U.S. medical school students said instruction on sex and gender differences in medicine should be included in curriculums, according to a 2015 survey. But only 43 percent said their curriculum had helped them understand those differences and only 34.5 percent said they felt prepared to manage them in a health-care setting.

“It is changing, but it’s changing very slowly,” said Janice Werbinski, immediate past president of the American Medical Women’s Association and chair of the mentorship committee of the association’s Sex and Gender Health Collaborative.

How women can advocate for better pain care

It took decades to solve the mystery of Maureen Woods’s chronic pain. Woods, 64, of Myersville, Md., started having joint pain in her teens and, over the years, told dozens of doctors her pain was “debilitating,” she said. Some told her it was all in her head. In 2017, she was diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a connective tissue disorder often causing loose joints, dislocations and chronic pain. She said women who are not being heard should keep advocating for themselves. “You have to go with your gut — something is wrong and I need to find a doctor who can figure it out,” she said. Marjorie Jenkins, dean of the University of South Carolina School of Medicine Greenville, urged women against feeling pressured to accept an “everything is normal” non-diagnosis. “If your provider does not appear to be listening to you or believing what you’re saying, then you need a new provider,” Jenkins said. “You are the client, you are the customer and you are the owner of your health.”

Women can also take a family member, friend or other support person who can corroborate their stories, said Alyson McGregor, an emergency medicine professor at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine Greenville and author of the book “Sex Matters: How Male-Centric Medicine Endangers Women’s Health and What We Can Do About It.” Particularly in emergency departments, she said, there can be an inherent bias. “There’s this assumption that women are emotional and they’re anxious and that that’s the main issue,” she said.

[btsficsandsuch]

can you write something about reader who has chronic pain x doctor yoongi?

I hope this is okay!

Dr. Min

“Miss Y/N, You can come on back.”, the nurse said while standing at the door. You grabbed your bag and walked over giving a quick smile before slipping past her into the hallway. You followed her over to a corner section where she instructed you to take off your shoes, “Okay Y/N, we’re just going to get a quick weight and height check and then we’ll be in room 3.” You do as she instructs before following her into the third room on the right. “Take a seat and Dr. Min will be in shortly.”, she said again with a smile before closing the door behind her.

You sat in the room fidgeting with the end of your shirt. You didn’t know anything about this doctor which was very unlike you. Normally you’d do weeks of research, reading reviews and any article you could find about the doctor before making an appointment but you were desperate at this point. For the last two years you had severe chronic pain in your right leg. You were pretty sure you tore a muscle while playing basketball two years ago but you didn’t have insurance at the time so you never got it looked at. Now you had a good job with insurance so you decided to finally try to fix the issue. If only it was that easy.

Every doctor you’ve seen so far brushed you off and told you to just try to exercise your leg and take aspirin if the pain was too much because at this point there was nothing they could do. After every appointment you felt a little less hopeful. You were complaining to your best friend Jimin about how the pain was getting worse and worse and you didn’t know what else to do. He told you about this doctor that he had seen and he did wonders for the chronic pain he was having in his knee so without really thinking you called and made an appointment with the doctor.

You were brought out of your thoughts when you heard a quick knock at the door and in walked a man about your age. He flashed you a big gummy smile. He had jet black hair which was slightly longer than you’d expect a doctor to have but it looked good on him. You were taken back by how handsome he was. Why did he have to be so good looking? You made a mental note to scold Jimin for not mentioning the doctor was a GQ model. Most of the doctors you’d see were old enough to be your parent and were grumpy, probably from the years of practicing medicine but that’s what you liked. You felt like they had a significant amount of experience and would be best able to treat you. The young doctor brought you back out of your thoughts again. “You must be Y/N. I’m Dr. Min. It’s nice to meet you.”, he said extending his hand for you to shake. Shyly you reached out and shook his hand, “Nice to meet you too.”

The doctor pulled over the stool so he could sit facing you while balancing his laptop on his knee. He must’ve noticed you staring as he looked up and gave you a smile, “Don’t mind me Y/N. I’m just going to make some notes to have on record. What brings you in today?”

Taking a deep breath to calm your shaky voice you began, “Well I was playing basketball a couple years ago and I went up for the rebound and I came down and landed weird on someone’s foot. I felt something snap in my leg and instantly felt pain.” You sat there and watched as he nodded to let you know he was listening while typing away on the keyboard in front of him. “Did you see a doctor when this happened?”, he asked. You shook your head, “No I didn’t have insurance at the time. After a couple months it felt better but then the pain came back and it’s getting worse.” He continued to type away, “Wow Y/N you must be pretty tough to just now seek help. I’m sure that was painful.” You shyly smiled at his compliment.

Dr. Min closed his laptop and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. When he came back he instructed you to roll up your pant let. Thank God you shaved beforehand you thought to yourself. “So what I’m going to do Y/N is just squeeze around on your leg for a little. Just let me know when it hurts the most.”, he said while sitting down next to you. You were trying so hard not to stare but he was so close you could smell his cologne, you could see his perfect skin, his beautiful dark eyes. Suddenly you jumped when you felt his hand grab your leg. “Sorry, I know my hands are cold.”, he chuckled. You prayed he couldn’t see the blush creep up on your cheeks.

He continued to squeeze and push on your calf and you’d tell him where it hurt the most. “So were you playing basketball for your school when you were hurt?”, he asked trying to make small talk. You nodded, “Yeah I played in college a little.” “Me too. Until I got to medical school. Then I just didn’t have the time. Actually I always wanted to go to the NBA.”, he laughed. “What made you decided to be a doctor instead?”, you asked. “Well unfortunately I stopped getting taller even though I drank milk religiously and since there’s no height requirement to be a doctor I switched.”, he smiled while looking up at you.

The doctor grabbed your hand and helped you to stand up, “Okay Y/N, now what I want you to do is walk back and forth a few times. Tell me when it hurts so I can see how your foot is positioned.” You did as he said even though you felt silly. After you were done he had you sit back down on the table and began typing in his laptop again. “Y/N I’m going to order some imaging tests on your leg. It looks like we’ll be able to do a surgery to repair that torn muscle in your leg. I just want to see the scans first before we make any definitive plan.” You felt your whole body tense at the word surgery. You’d never had surgery before and the thought terrified you. Dr. Min must’ve noticed because he placed a reassuring hand on your knee, “It’s nothing to be scared of Y/N. It’s a pretty standard procedure. The surgery will take about three hours and you’ll be able to go home 48 hours later.” You nodded and gave him a small smile before he walked you to the door out to the waiting room. “I’ll have my receptionist call you to set up your surgery date. Take care of yourself in the meantime Y/N. Try to rest that leg and ice can help with the pain.”, he said before opening the door for you. You thanked him and quickly walked out of the room ignoring the whispers coming from the nurses and front desk staff.

Just as the doctor had said the receptionist called you a week later to let you know the doctor said your scans looked good and you were approved for surgery. You scheduled the date for three weeks later.

On the day of the surgery Jimin drove you to the hospital so you could get there at your scheduled 6am arrival time. You got changed into the hospital gown and were laying down in bed when Dr.Min walked in. Just as handsome as the first day you saw him. “Good morning Y/N. I’m sorry we had to schedule this so early.”, he said. “It’s okay. This way I don’t have to be stressed out all day.”, you said with a smile. The doctor wrote something on your chart before looking up at you and smiled, “There’s no reason to be stressed. I’ll take good care of you. I promise.” You could feel your cheeks heat up at his words. “I’ll see you in the operating room.”, he smiled before walking back out the door. You heard Jimin scoff from beside you, “He didn’t even remember me.” You rolled your eyes, “Do you know how many patients he sees? How do you expect him to remember you?”. “He’s certainly going to remember you though.”, Jimin said with a laugh. “What do you mean by that?”, you asked. “Oh come on Y/N. That doctor was totally flirting with you.”, he laughed. All you could do was roll your eyes. “Don’t worry Y/N. I’ll take good care of you.”, he said while fluttering his eyelids in an exaggerated way. Luckily the nurses came in to wheel you to surgery before this conversation could go any farther. You gave Jimin a hug and then you were wheeled out of the room.

The operating room was freezing and that was doing nothing to calm your nerves. Just as the tears started to form Dr. Min walked over and pulled his mask down giving you a comforting smile, “Y/N, this is Dr. Namjoon Kim. He’s the anesthesiologist that’s on call right now. He’s going to explain what’s going to happen and then we’ll get the surgery started. It’ll all be over before you know it.” Dr. Kim came over and explained the process before placing a mask on your face instructing you to count back from 100. You got to 74 before it got harder and harder to concentrate and you drifted off.

“Miss Y/N, you need to wake up for me.”, the nurse was saying while lightly shaking your shoulder. “Where am I?”, you asked feeling like you had the worst hangover of your life. “You’re in recovery dear.”, she said. You started to move but felt a large cast on your right leg reminding you about why you were there. After a few minutes you finally felt coherent enough to process things so they let Jimin come in to visit. He was holding a big teddy bear that had a ‘It’s a Girl’ balloon tied to it. You chuckled when you looked up at the balloon. “Hey they didn’t have a balloon for this scenario and this one had a puppy on it so I knew you’d appreciate it.”, he said placing it on the table next to you. Before you could respond Dr. Min walked in and was immediately confused by the ballon even stopping to make sure he was in the correct room and looking back to you surprised. “Don’t ask.”, you chuckled. “Everything went great Y/N. The muscle was pretty damaged but I was able to get that repaired. You’ll still be pretty sore for a few weeks but once you’re up to it we can start you on physical therapy and then you should be good as new.”, he smiled. “Thank you for helping me Dr. Min. You’re the only doctor that had taken me seriously.”, you said eliciting a smile from him. He lifted the blanket to check the cast before placing it back and tucking you in, “I’m sorry I have to leave so soon. I have another surgery scheduled today. Let me know if you need anything.” You smiled and thanked him before he walked out of the room. “Let me know if you need anything.”, Jimin said in a mocking tone. You smacked his arm to quiet him, “Shush. He’s just being nice. It’s called bedside manners.” “Riiigghht because there aren’t a ton of nurses and aids and on call doctors that can take care of you right now, but he said to let him know if you need anything. He totally has a crush on you.”, Jimin laughed. “He’s just being nice.”, you said again but secretly hoping that Jimin was right.

The stay in the hospital wasn’t too bad. Jimin stayed with you as much as he could before he had to go to work. Dr. Min came to visit you a few times, even offering to get you a coffee from the Starbucks downstairs when he saw you drinking the crappy waiting room coffee one of the nurses had brought you. Each time he seemed to stay a little longer, almost like he didn’t want to leave.

Finally you were being discharged. You were given a handful of paperwork with instructions on what to and not to do. They also had you schedule your follow up appointment with Dr. Min for six weeks from now. Jimin and the nurse helped you off of the bed and into the waiting wheelchair so they could get you down to Jimins car.

Six weeks went by quickly and you were happy to be sitting in Dr. Min’s office finally able to get this cast off of your leg. “Y/N, you can come back with me.”, the nurse standing at the door said. She helped you get down to room 4. “Take a seat. Dr. Min will be in shortly.”, she said with a smirk before closing the door behind her. You expected to wait a while like any doctors appointment but Dr. Min was surprisingly quick. “Hi Y/N, it’s good to see you. How are you doing?”, he asked. “Even with the cast on I already feel much better.”, you smiled. Dr. Min got to work removing the cast and then took time inspecting the sutures. “I’m going to remove the stitches. It shouldn’t hurt but you might feel a pinch.”, he said while grabbing the needed tools. He was very gentle. You could tell he was really focused on making sure he caused you the least amount of pain possible and before you knew it he was done and cleaning up the area. “It looks really good Y/N. It healed great and I think you’re going to be much happier. We can help you get your first physical therapy session scheduled and that will help you greatly.”, he said while washing his hands.

“Alright let’s get you standing.”, he said walking back over to you. You grabbed onto his hands and he gently helped you stand up. Gingerly you started putting weight on your right leg. “Alright be careful and go slow.”, he said. You swear you could see him holding his breath as you took a few steps like he was worried you’d somehow hurt yourself. “How does it feel?”, he asked. “Still a little sore, but nothing compared to what it was.”, you replied. He flashed a big gummy smile, “I’m so glad to hear that.” “Thank you again Dr. Min. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I didn’t think I’d ever find someone to help me.”, you said looking down at your shoes trying to hide the blush on your cheeks. “No need to thank me. It’s my job.”, he said and you felt your heart sink just a little. You knew it was crazy but a part of you had secretly hoped Jimin was correct about him having a crush on you but it sounded like you were just another patient to him.

Not wanting to stand in the awkwardness any long you grabbed your purse and began to walk towards the door after saying another goodbye. “Y/N”, Dr. Min stopped you and you turned to face him. He cleared his throat, “Umm technically you’re not my patient any more and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go have dinner sometime.” You felt your heart swell. “I’d love to Dr. Min.”, you replied. He walked over and opened the door for you before placing a hand on your back to escort you out, “Please, Call me Yoongi.”

[rum-and-shattered-dreams]

Engaging Encounter - Chapter 4 - A Simple Life

Going off schedule to post this now instead of next Friday because there's a hurricane coming and I don't know what next Friday will be like. At least it will already be posted by then this way.

Overall Summary:

In the months following Weirdmageddon, Ford reconciled with Stan while helping him with his lost memories but struggled to really reconnect with Fiddleford until Dipper and Mabel visited for their winter break. When Mabel found out they were once more than friends, she couldn’t help recruiting Stan and Dipper to help her play matchmaker again.

Chapter Summary:

Time marches on (AKA- MONTAGE!) Ford helps Fidds on a sort of day-to-day basis. Fidds helps Ford through a severe flare of his chronic pain/illness. Fiddleford gets creative in helping Ford talk about his good times in the multiverse That, in turn, helps Fidds with his own frustrations. Eventually the two work on forging a future together Also Fiddleford has a bit more success with a political campaign than he ever imagined.

Chapter Notes:

More Smut Supreme because why not.

Also more angst and fluff and sweet, cute stuff because I want them all to be happy, okay? ;)

This one contains a non-graphic depiction of Ford's digestive issues because I'm kind of tired of seeing things like that treated like a joke and wanted to write something that treats it with compassion.

This also includes the idea of Fiddleford becoming president (from the thing where Alex said he did in the GF universe.)

Sorry no art this time. Not sure if there will be but if there ever is, I'll post it on my tumblr

Overall Notes:

More feelings and characterization-heavy smut to follow Embarrassing Encounter

It references events from the Pleasant Encounters series but it isn't necessary to read those to understand this.)

The entirety of this is already written and new chapters will be posted on Friday evenings (EST).

Chapters one and two are Smut Lite (mostly feelings, bonding, and fluff)

Chapters three and four are Smutty Smut Smut.

Ford and Fiddleford do not know what labels they fall under but Stan mentions it might be sex-positive and on the aroace spectrum.

Dipper and Mabel understand sexual topics in this fic. They’re not involved in any but they’re not ignorant to them. It’s mentioned that their parents have already talked to them about it all in an appropriate way. Just sticking that warning here in case it bothers anyone if they understand what’s happening behind closed doors and joke about it in the way that 13-year-olds sometimes do.

(Going to reblog with the link so check the notes for this or just search for Snarkyhermit on AO3.)

Writing blog @shattereddreams-gravityfallsfics

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for talking about how happy I am that I switched medications and discussing side effects I had?

CW for mention of eating disorders and vomiting

Sorry if that question is phrased weirdly.

I (F24) am in a fandom Discord server with about 50 or so people in it. I'm friends with a few of the people in the server, but the rest are just sort of acquaintances that I sometimes talk to.

We have the usual non-fandom areas for talking, sharing pictures, a vent channel, etc. There's also a sort-of vent channel that's more for discussing life stuff and getting advice.

We were talking about medications for depression/anxiety and I basically said "Yeah I used to be on SSRI's but stopped because of a few specific side effects, and then when I finally switched to a non-SSRI and realized that it was MASSIVELY fucking with my appetite to the point of causing severe binge eating issues."

The person (who was asking if we had experience with any meds) asked what I meant, so I told them how obsessed with food I was, how I would wait until my parents went to bed (I live with them because fuck this economy) and then go around the house looking for candy, I could eat an entire bag of chips in one night, and one night ate so much candy to the point I got sick and vomited.

I told them that once I started Vyvance for my ADHD the issue improved quite a bit (turns out it's used to treat binge eating disorders), but now that I'm not on a SSRI my appetite and relationship with food is actually normal.

I'm not constantly thinking about food 24/7, I would actually feel full after eating a meal, and I'm no longer having extreme cravings for sugar and salty stuff. I don't have an obsession with taking all the candy in the house and eating it in one sitting, I can just... Leave it there and have some the next day.

I also mentioned that because of that, I've lost 50lbs and I no longer get out of breath just from going up the stairs, and my chronic ankle pain is SO much better to the point I barely notice it (I fucked it up when I was younger). I also no longer have high cholesterol, and when I go outside in the summer I don't feel like I'm going to die.

All of this was put under a cut, with a CW for eating disorders. The person I was talking to basically said "Holy shit thank you so much for letting me know"

I sort of forgot about it afterwards, but a few days later I went onto Discord and saw that the server was gone. I thought Discord was glitching out, but eventually messaged a friend (F20s) who's also in the server and asked her what was going on and if something happened to the server.

She said no, and was confused as to why I wasn't in it anymore. I didn't leave it on accident, it was just... Not there. She sent me an invite link, but it said the link was expired.

She messaged one of the mods (NB28) and asked them if anyone else was having problems joining the server/it disappearing, and they told her that I was permanently banned from the server.

She asked them why, and they said that I was banned for fatphobia and promoting an eating disorder.

She asked them how I was promoting an eating disorder (since I literally talked about recovering from one), and they said that it was because I was discussing weight loss as something positive, which I guess to them automatically = anorexia???

My friend, without me asking to, told me that she tore the mod a new one and called them a dumbfuck for thinking me no longer having binge eating issues and feeling healthier after losing weight is even close to promoting an eating disorder.

Context: My friend literally has anorexia, so she's familiar with how eating disorders work.

The mod then told her she and I are both fatphobic pieces of shit, and banned HER too. The mod in question has posted multiple selfies before, and they're not even fat. I'm like twice the size they are, even after losing weight.

AWTA or is the mod just on some kind of weird savior-complex powertrip?

What are these acronyms?