#i get having hobbies distractions from a traumatic life

[andrwgarfields]

ok sorry one more thing, just to put across what i find disturbing, i’ve said this many times but PLEASE do not put your everything in a celeb they are not your friends, you don’t know them, they don’t know you! for some of the very young fans making joe (or even anyone) their comfort person, depending on him to make you feel safe, better and just putting so much of your emotional turmoil, baggage and trauma on a 19 year old…really isn’t the way to go!

[canellescandles]

DONT PLAY ANIMAL CROSSING AT 3AM

horror au

playing animal crossing was all fun and games with ellie until events happening in the game turned out to happen in real life

->inspired by a short movie on yt

A/N:sorry for the long break,I went to the beach and lost my right arm because of a damn shark. Specialists say they want to know how human flesh tastes, but it bit my whole arm off 😵‍💫. Anyway, I’ve learned to write with my left hand so I can still cook 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Rainy days were your favorite.

They gave you and Ellie an excuse to stay indoors and play video games for hours on end.

After playing the same games repeatedly, growing emotionally attached to them, Ellie convinced you to give a try to something different from your usual apocalypse-themed games.

Halloween was tomorrow and ellie judged it to be the perfect time to introduce you to Animal Crossing's latest spooky update, a game you had never tried before.

"it's not traumatizing-scary, but I thought if I like it, you would too," Ellie said as she turned on her Nintendo Switch, a gift Joel had given her for her last birthday.

Often, she would gift you video games from her own massive collection, which hadn't gotten her into the Guinness World Records yet, but it might one day.

It was your favorite hobby together, a shared passion that easily brought you closer.

"you know what I like. If it's not pee-your-pants scary, it's deadly boring," you stated clearly as you made yourself comfortable next to her on her bed, lying flat on your stomach, propping yourself on your elbows as your eyes darted to her screen, the game just starting.

"oh yeah? we'll see about that. I bet ten bucks you'll get so addicted, you won't wanna go home tonight," Ellie said with a confident smirk, pressing 'play' as she seized the opportunity to have you to herself for longer than usual.

The screen flashed, revealing Ellie's character in a virtual room. "just watch me," she muttered, focusing on the screen as she led her character out of the room with a joystick.

Her character entered a clothing shop, trying on brand new clothes.

"I'll let you know that having no taste is a symptom of covid" you teased, followed by Ellie's soft chuckle.

She was used to your constant teasing but never grew tired of it.

"alright, try to make her look hot. we're going to see who’s going to need to get their health checked."

You smiled in victory, pleased to get a chance to play on her Switch.

"alright, bet" you said, going through every option available, trying your best to give Ellie's avatar a brand-new Halloween costume.

After a while, your lips curved into a smile as you admired her avatar in a cute, spooky witch costume.

But when you tried to buy the costume, your face fell in disappointment at the sight of Ellie's in-game money.

"man, she's broke af. that's why she looks so hideous. I can't even make her glow up, that's so sad."

"hey, take that back...as long as she's got clothes on, it's fine." Ellie said, taking back her Switch and removing the costume you were eager to buy.

You rested your head in your hand, already feeling exhausted, when suddenly, a loud, deep rolling growl pulled you out of your trance, followed by increasing pouring rain.

"looks like you're stuck with me tonight,"ellie smiled cheerfully, already plotting to stay up all night.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

Halloween was only after a night, right after the full moon, but the spooky vibe that accompanied it came early today.

Both of you had turned the lights off, total darkness enveloping you, with the rain pouring and spooky sounds coming from the game as background noise.

You and Ellie took turns exploring the city and completing Halloween quests, distracting yourselves from the menacing storm that didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

That is until another storm struck, slightly shaking Ellie's house and almost blinding you with the flashes of lightning outside the windows.

Now, the rain was pouring softly.

It was the calm before the next storm.

Turning your attention back to the game, the first thing you saw was Ellie's character momentarily freezing as the screen quickly flickered.

Ellie looked at you to see if you found this as creepy as she did.

"so, still boring as fuck miss apocalypse?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"a jumpscare here and there won't hurt"

A laugh escaped Ellie's lips. "bro, this is 'Animal Crossing,' not Freddy and his friends or whatever."

"Freddy and who?" A look of confusion on your face didn't betray your words.

"Freddy and his friends," she exclaimed, her gaze averted, trying to use her brain that's rotting from playing all the time. "the bear dude who scares kids or something. I dunno, I haven't played that stuff."

"that's FNAF, girl."you corrected, looking at Ellie puzzled. Between the two of you, you always assumed Ellie to be a game nerd.

"yeah, whatever," she said.

Now that you mentioned it, she actually remembered playing it but somehow forgot about it.

Your eyes drifted from Ellie's to her screen, which had stopped flickering, noticing many details.

"You know, I don't know how you managed to do that, but.."

Many details you've never paid attention to before.

"It's really cool how you got an exact copy of your bedroom in there," you said, looking back at Ellie, impressed.

Ellie’s eyes fell on the screen as she listened.

Her eyebrows furrowed suddenly.

She had never noticed too.

In fact, she had never decorated her in-game room with the intention of making it look like her real-life room.

As if trying to make her memories clearer, she scratched the back of her head, trying to think back to when she decorated her room in the game.

"uh, thanks. I never tried to make it look like my room, though."

"you even got the Savage Starlight poster on your wall," you pointed out, looking at her screen curiously before glancing at the same poster in real life, which was in the exact same spot in the game.

Though you were absolutely amazed by this, Ellie felt anything but impressed.

A feeling of unease started to creep up inside her.

No matter how much time she had spent in that game, she never recalled getting this poster.

This was undeniably weird, but it's only in such an atmosphere that things start to get interesting.

It was just a game after all.

"yeah, I think that's how I got broke," an awkward laugh escaped her lips, ignoring how hot she suddenly felt.

With shaky hands, Ellie wandered around her in-game room, which was just as dark as the one in real life.

To lighten it up, she walked towards the lamp on her bedside table, noticing it was placed just like in reality.

After looking at the bedside table, she focused her attention on her screen again and pushed a button to turn on the lamp.

At that moment, a quick 'click' sound echoed in the room, instantly drawing both your and Ellie's attention.

The bright lamp was flickering, casting shadows behind it.

You felt Ellie's eyes on you and turned to look at her, wondering if you both saw the same thing.

"you did that, didn't you?" Ellie asked, eager for a rational explanation for this unusual moment.

"no, I didn't," you exclaimed. The bedside table was just to your left, but your arms remained flat on the bed.

Even if you wanted to scare her, you couldn't have been that creative.

However,your words weren't convincing enough for her to believe them.

Still trying to figure out what was happening between her game and her room, she decided to try something again.

"stay here and don't move," Ellie ordered, to which you nodded and obeyed.

The drawer next to her closet drew her attention.

Her eyes fell back on her game, staring at the same drawer.

You watched Ellie's every move, your nervousness increasing as her finger pressed a button.

It was inevitable.

The drawer opened in the game.

The drawer opened in real life.

A mix of confusion and excitement flashed across Ellie's face as virtual and reality made one.

Thrilled by the turn of events, she turned to face you.

"now this is getting creepy as fuck," Ellie said, talking to you but becoming self-conscious about one thing.

You weren't alone anymore.

"yeah, this feels like the first minutes of a horror movie, but not the shitty low-quality serial killer ones—"

"the crazy haunted ones that leave you paranoid with 'inspired by a true story' in their summary."

"we're definitely in some 'bury your gays' type shit."

Ellie's soft laugh contrasted with the eerie atmosphere. No matter how serious the situation was, you were still able to make her laugh.

A part of her still clung to denial, seeking any rational explanation, but... where's the fun in that?

Was it scary because it was cool?

Or was it cool because it was scary?

Either way, this mystery was eager to be solved. Unsure of where all of this would lead, Ellie gave in to the temptation to discover it.

You decided to keep playing.

She then walked toward her in-game guitar, which was placed in the exact same spot in real life, right beside her desk.

Your eyes drifted toward it while Ellie was focused on her screen.

This was getting more and more interesting.

She pushed one button,making her character picking up the guitar.

As mini-ellie strummed the chords, you and her noticed something about the sound.

The melody wasn't coming from her Switch.

It echoed from her guitar in the corner of her room.

You couldn't believe your eyes,your ears and your mind.

In denial, you were convinced you were dreaming. But when you pinched your skin multiple times, nothing changed.

Ellie looked at you, seeking confirmation that this wasn't all in her head, a sign of her insanity.

"I'm starting to believe there's someone here with us," you said, your worried eyes meeting hers.

"you're just realizing that now?" she smirked.

You crossed your arms protectively, feeling thrilled by the game despite how scary it was becoming. "I'm actually surprised you still haven't peed your pants."

"trust me, it'll take more than that to freak me out like you."

"be careful what you wish for," you warned, feeling and fearing that something was about to happen.

In the dark,where fear and curiosty reigned over all your emotions,it was the comfort place for one thing.

The storm had calmed down for a while, but the rain continued pouring relentlessly.

Each droplet hit Ellie's closed windows, the sound resembling someone knocking.

Now you don't know how that spirit managed to stroll across the windows, but you knew that it got her.

It got Ellie.

With wide white eyes and mouth parted open, her body was entirely frozen, unresponsive to your calls.

The evil had total control over her body.

At least, that's what she made you want to believe.

After slightly shaking her to make her stop, you thought of her biggest weakness, something that always worked when she'd try to prank you like this.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA," Ellie panted as you tickled her sides, desperately trying to push you away from her before she fell off the bed,head hitting the floor.

Worried, you put a hand over your mouth at the scene. "oh my... are you alright?"

"would be better if you help me back up,"you reached out a hand that she carefully took, before helping her to lay back on the bed.

This is what she gets for trying to scare the hell out of you, always using the same old prank that only worked once on you.

When you were worried about her head, she was shamelessly laughing.

"you know what? laugh while you can. we'll see if you laugh once you wake up in the flames of hell after I choked you in your sleep."

"wow... nice charming words, you really know how to make a girl feel special, huh?" Ellie snickered as she saw you rolling your eyes at her.

The banter kept going, from playfully nudging each other's arm to pushing each other, as if nothing creepy had happened earlier.

That is, until your hands grabbed the Nintendo, back on the game.

Now that the virtual and reality have united, your careless laughter could easily turn into cold-blooded fear.

Ellie mirrored your wide eyes as she spotted the visual confirmation that both of you weren't alone.

Behind her character stood something in the dark.

Something because it was indeed not a human.

Its body blended with the color of death, or perhaps it was the other way around.

The darkness's arms warmly embraced its sinister presence.

The color of its eyes was the only hue transcending through the darkness in the room.

They were red—red like pumping blood and Persephone's pomegranate. Not leaving the character’s body.

Its eyes were able to pierce through the darkness, as if its life was too fierce to be halted by death.

Because it was death itself.

Ellie's eyes turned to you instinctively, seeking confirmation that it wasn’t part of her imagination.

You returned the same gaze, but not effortlessly. This unexpected turn of events made your mind run laps of thoughts and your body freeze in place.

With the same thought, "Is it behind us?" echoing over and over, the silence grew too loud, nurturing your frightened state.

Then.

The door creaked.

The one behind you and Ellie.

Your eyes remained on hers, with fear enveloping every single last spark of excitement and amusement.

"It's just the wind, right?" you managed to whisper.

Ellie still understood you despite your shaky voice, mimicking the same tone as yours. "the windows are closed."

That wasn't the first time rationality couldn't explain the strange events around you.

You were just afraid it wouldn't be the last time either.

Suddenly, a message appeared on the screen.

As your curious eyes returned to the screen despite the fear slowly consuming you, another feeling began to take over.

"Don't. Look. Behind. You."

It was regret.

[alicedash2]

Hello Alice 👋 it's me, the same person that request for whitebeard's biological daughter headcanons. If it's ok with you I would like to make the same request with whitebeard's biological daughter... but this time What if she has character traits similar to Phos from Houseki No Kuni... like she's at first, really weak and fragile but she tries to help anyway which leads her to get injured often. she's pretty self distructive but is oblivious from that fact. She always thinks of others before herself. But then as she grew older she started to experience some traumatic life events and she slowly started to change... the happy, playful girl that always insisted on helping them even though she's not physically capable to, slowly started to disappear... She's stronger now... Strong enough to be able to be of help... but she lost the light she once had...(If you haven't watched the show / read the manga then it's ok. You can ignore this request 👍)

Hello!! Yes, I saw the anime, is very good! (Sorry for that be short)

Whitebeard x Fragile!Daughter

YN was Whitebeard's daughter, happy, a little goofy and distracted, a probably ADHD, always wanting to do things that exceed her physical limit, which unfortunately is weak.

Whitebeard loved her, always laughed with his daughter and had fun with her, but always scolded her when she did something that could put her life at risk.

-Don't fight with them, YN!- said Whitebeard worried abouth he's daughter

-I-I can do it!-YN said, but she ended up failing to try to fight and ended up being protected by the others in the crew, in worse cases, she ends up very injured, her body was fragile and delicate, it was easily broken.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

-I told you, YN! Stop being stubborn!-Whitebeard spoke, while YN was sitting on her knees with a huge bump on her head that she received from the enemy

-I'm sorry...- YN said

-You could end up hurt, or worse, dead! Can you understand that you cannot fight under these circumstances?!- Whitebeard asked seriously

-yes, dad- YN said

-Never disobey me again!- Whitebeard say

YN have tears in she's eyes

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

But, once, YN went through a traumatic moment that forever changed her way of being (insert traumatic moment of your choice), YN started to leave her hobbies to stay in training, which helped her to have good physical strength, for Even though YN became stronger, his sweeter and gentler side disappeared, he became more distant from Whitebeard too, which made him worried, he wanted his daughter back, she became more introverted

-honey...- Whitebeard called her

-yes, dad?- YN asked, looking at him

-I know...I know you've been through bad times...but, I'd like to see you smile again-

-...father, I...I'm not a child, I'm part of your crew, in fact, I couldn't stay like that forever, because I was weak, I ended up hurting myself and others...I couldn't do it anymore , not like that - YN said holding the papers tightly

- Aren't you proud that I've gotten stronger, dad? - YN asked

-I'm very proud, YN, but being strong doesn't mean you have to sacrifice what's good for you, you know? I would like you to go back to your Hobbies, you can balance training with your Hobbies- Whitebeard said

YN sighs, as if she is tired of hearing that

- I'll reconsider - YN says before leaving and going to her room

YN was never the same again, everyone missed her laugh, as if she were dead, without light, her only light was gone, she blamed herself, but maybe someday, she will return to the way she was before

[pomefioredove]

Tbh I was reading the matchup info and now I have an idea for a fic 😂😂😂

But Seriously I really love your writings. I've been having a shitty time and when I read your stuff it gets better and mellows me out ❤️

Personality wise: I can be pretty calm, but I also have my exciting/ manic moments. Like cleaning my room at 3am (cries in bd sleeping schedule). People say I'm nice, and have a good energy. But if someone pushes me (metaphorically) I will push back. I can be petty if I get fed up enough. I get depressed easily and sometimes have trouble expressing myself. Which is weird because I kind of am the therapist friend. I don't talk about my feelings or self often. Sometimes I scare my friends unintentionally, like dropping random tidbits of my life that might sound or be a little traumatic. (I.e. that reminds me of the time my mom told me she would beat my ass if I cleaned her room wring again.) I can be pretty lazy, I sleep A LOT. I am a feminist, who is pretty used to red flags in people.

Interests/ Hobbies: I love reading and trying new art stuff. I am an English major and like learning about the dirty and scary sides of History. My favorite books to read right now are classical literature and disturbing horror books. Art wise I've been trying to get into air dry sculptures. I love to crochet. And when I feel like it I can cook and bake. Sometimes I roller skate, like once in a blue moon. I have trouble with homework sometimes, I can get really distracted. When I'm really tired I won't eat. I have body issues too (thanks mom 🥲). I used to be a vegetarian for almost 10 years. I stopped a couple years ago.

Relationship wise: I like people who are competent. Like, someone who knows their way around the house or are willing to learn. I like feminists. I don't like people who yell at me. When I get into a relationship, love bombing and honeymoon phase stuff kinda turn me off ngl. (Like why r you so free on a regular Tuesday afternoon. I give you butterflies? Digest them, want some pesto bismol? Here.) Ngl, it's like why should I have to come back from a full day of work/school and clean up after you and/or make dinner.

Lifestyle wise: No lie I have depression and anxiety and it can get pretty bad. There are times where I can't take care of myself as well as I wish. I will cry, if someone makes fun of me for it. I try to keep my area clean, when I get back from work/school I clean up a little then crash. I try to deep clean on weekends if I'm not swamped from school.

Specifics: No first or second years pls

Ty 💖💖💖

I match you with 𝐕𝐢𝐥 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐭

The First Impression:

One might assume that the first thing Vil notices in a person is their style, or their physical features, or even their body language.

Not really.

Vil absolutely judges people based on their competency, their skill, their dedication to themselves and their passions. And he can absolutely see that in you.

Why He Fell:

What initially attracts Vil is the challenge. He's always looking for new potential, and he can tell that you're both skilled and committed enough to meet his standards- but there's something holding you back. You're quite different from his past potatoes, and he's more than capable of taking a different approach to your case, one without the need for harshness.

Vil isn't one to pry, though he's able to piece together your situation from the random tidbits you drop on him, and soon, his pet project becomes more of a mission. Can't take care of yourself right now? That's fine, he'll do it for you. He'll find a way to create a perfectly manageable routine, fix your sleep schedule, help you with homework, and slowly ease you into a healthier lifestyle with him by your side.

Though he'd never admit it, Vil really likes the feeling of being needed, not just wanted. And, in time, he finds himself needing you and your company just as much.

The Relationship:

You cannot get more competent than Vil Schoenheit. Experience or not, he's a master at navigating relationships, and is more than willing to help you in that regard, as well. He's there at your best and worst, as you are for him- Vil considers the partnership very equal, and would never in a million years dream of upsetting that balance.

(Quite honestly, Vil doesn't want to be treated like an incompetent manchild who can't do anything for himself and he's glad you're on the same page)

He very much appreciates and admires your skillset, interest in learning new things, and your dedication to your passions (one isn't just vegetarian for ten years without some commitment, after all), and sees you as compatible in that regard.

It's a very mature and balanced relationship, one in which you don't even have to imagine him lovebombing or taking you for granted or acting childish. He certainly has his moments, but such is being human.

[gabessquishytum]

really, really love the idea of dream getting bitched. i think it might’ve gotten discussed here before but i’m gonna bring it up again because it’s so good. also, not just bitching, but studding, too. and make it a royalty au just for funsies

dream and hob are in a committed relationship—they’ve been in love for a long time and dream wants nothing more than to finally knot and bite his omega and make him his mate, but they’re both the respective kings of their own kingdoms, and they have to be respectable and wait for the wedding (which is of course painted as a political alliance, but they’re secretly in love, so it’s alright by them). however, just before the wedding, dream’s kingdom is attacked by lucifer’s, and they happen to be an alpha prime. so, when dream gets captured on the battlefield, rather than kill him or enslave him, lucifer does what they believe to be far crueler, as someone who’s aware of dream’s situation; they bitch him and turn him into an omega.

dream gets sent home changed. he’s not the same, as before— everything smells different, his body feels different, even his center of balance is off. everything about him has shifted and he’s so horribly overwhelmed, and the last thing he wants is to run home to hob only to be rejected by his love for their incompatibility. after all, two omegas can’t mate properly, they can’t have babies, they can’t satiate each others heats….as much as dream loves hob, he can’t bring himself to force him into an unfulfilled life because of his new body. so he locks himself away in his chambers, spending his days clawing at his skin, panting and sweating through his heats, feeling like he’s going out of his mind as he goes through everything all on his own.

but hob isn’t entirely stupid, bless him, and he knows something is wrong. he knows that something had traumatized dream on the battlefield, but he had assumed it was something gorey and violent, so he spent so much time worrying himself about just how horrific something had to be to terrorize dream of all people. in fact, he spends so much time worrying about dream, and focusing in on what the hell lucifer had done, attempting to defend dream’s kingdom for him from afar as a soon to be ally, that corinthian can sneak in unnoticed. and he does, very well, and he studs hob— who then spends the next several days shoving his cock in virtually any and every surface in his general vicinity that can get him off and distract him from whatever the hell all these new feelings are like. while dream’s heats overwhelmed him with a sense of fear, and the feeling of being hunted as prey, hob’s mind felt stupid with lust; he manages himself better than his fiancé.

and since hob isn’t as self destructive as dream is, when his rut has calmed down enough that he’s able to act appropriately in public, he throws himself onto a horse immediately and sets out for dreams kingdom. (i was thinking more of a romantic and dramatic ride through the night to reach dream as soon as possible in order to come to his aid and be by his side, but now that i’ve written it all that i can think of is a paul revere “the british are coming!” night ride. sorry hobby) of course, he gets the whole charade of “his majesty is not receiving visitors at this time,” but dream, going through his second ever heat and quite frankly being very overwhelmed, finds himself on the verge of battery ramming his own door down just to get to hob. and of course he’s welcomed with open arms (and legs), and although they’re going to have one hell of a conversation about their new situation, so long as they can make each other feel good as their bodies want them to and secure an heir or twelve, they’re happy. <3

A mini fic in my inbox!!! Once again I am blessed by the horny gods!!!

I love this. Please know that I am yelling over the Paul Revere part in particular. Imagining Hob riding through the countryside and occasionally just yelping in pain because his dick is three times the size it used to be, he's not used to it and riding kinda hurts!!!! He's sensitive ok!!!! He just spent like a week fucking any object he could find and he's a liiiittle bit chafed. By the time he gets to Dream’s castle he's kinda hobbling along, wincing with every other step. And his immediate thought when Dream jumps on him is oh no not so much because he's upset that Dream is different but because he doesn't think his dick will make it through a whole heat with his new omega mate.

But he underestimates the power of his own horniness, and makes a very thorough job of knotting Dream until he's sated and sleepy. Having been an omega until approximately a week ago, Hob knows exactly what Dream needs, and he is very very generous in giving it. Dream is probably the most satisfied omega in the whole land.

He also might have to get his marriage clothes altered but hey, everyone loves a shotgun wedding. After everything they've been through, even the strictest of traditionalists agree that Dream and Hob deserve to do exactly what they want, at least for a little while.

[faeriefrolic]

OC Deep Dive Questionnaire Tag

A set of 20 questions to get to know your OC! ty for the tag @bool-prop !! I'm going to do my babygirl Crystal Leblanc 💛

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Aquaphobia due to a traumatic incident early in her life, as well as aichmophobia

Do they have any pet peeves? When library guests bend the spines of books 😔

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? A well-used cookbook she's been taking ideas from, her yellow tablet, a daisy in a bee-shaped flowerpot 🌼

What do they notice first in a person? Their smile!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? A 1... she does not handle it well!

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? Definitely flight, literally sometimes! She doesn't like conflict and would rather diffuse or escape the situation.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? She has an adoptive mother, Floette, who she cares for very much. She taught Crystal much about magic and life and takes after her. She lives with her mother in the library loft for a long time, until she gets brave enough to share a magic treehouse with roommates

What animal represents them best? A scottish fold dilute calico cat, which is literally her lol

What is a smell that they dislike? Really stinky cheese, burning plastic/rubber and burnt coffee beans... her Mother took her to a speciality cheese shop once and she really didn't like one of the cheeses, it smelled like feet 🧀

Have they broken any bones? She has no bones, since she is a soft doll, but there are many broken bandaged parts of her :( She is covered in colorful band-aids and always keeps them on hand.

How would a stranger likely describe them? An adorable sunshine girl who looks as though she stepped right out of a fairytale storybook ✨

Are they a night owl or a morning bird? Morning bird! She loves to make coffee and enjoy basking in the sunshine, reading the latest chapter of her library book. Though she loves her catnaps...

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? She's a fae, so she adores sugary treats, anything fruity and sweet. And as an autumn fae she gravitates towards warmer fall flavors. She dislikes sour, bitter things

Do they have any hobbies? She organizes a dnd campaign at the library, and she also loves journaling! Sometimes she will host a little tea party for the bumblebees in her garden. They always gift her with honey 🍯

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? Well first her kitty cat tail will puff out and she'll float up to the ceiling in shock! Immediately after she'll be overjoyed and excited, flailing her little arms everywhere and wondering how they did all this in secret and then wondering about cake, and what flavor it is, and then get distracted by thinking about how to make the cake 🎂 Oh and she'll most definitely probably cry from her friends doing this for her and feel as though she doesn't deserve the kindness

Do they like to wear jewelry? She can't have any piercings but sometimes she will wear cute bracelets or a ring, her neck is almost always covered by her enchanted healing magic scarf or a ribbon, so rarely any necklaces.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting? It's loopy and has hearts for dots and always in a glittery pink gel pen

What are two emotions they feel the most? Excitement, curiosity

Do they have a favorite fabric? Anything super soft. The softer the better

What kind of accent do they have? She's adopted a slight French accent from Floette I tag: @getboolpropped, @bastardtrait, @papermint-airplane, @kissalopa, and anyone else who wants to gush about their ocs!!!

[lance-space-mommy]

And the Room Falls Silent

For kids, turning four was the year that would make or break them. In a hero-based society, quirks dictated worth.

Izuku’s life was considered over the moment he was confirmed to be quirkless. After losing everyone who cared for him and being bullied by those he was close with for everything he said or did, Izuku shut down.

Izuku developed symptoms of a severe social phobia at the ripe age of six. Inko was shattered, watching as her brilliant and bright child faded away. Not only did she start getting reports from the school that Izuku wasn’t speaking at all, he no longer talked with her.

Midoriya pointed and shook his head to speak. With the silence, Izuku started to cry a lot more. Despite all of that, Izuku did technically speak every day. It was only one phrase. Inko could barely hear it with Izuku's face buried in her shoulder.

“I love you, Mom.”

Izuku never left the house and strayed far away from the playground after he returned home with bruises one eventful day. Inko didn’t want him to leave anyways. Inko felt better knowing he was safe at home. Even after Izuku went completely mute at six, he still had aspirations to become a hero. He continued his hobby of writing in his notebooks and buying All Might merchandise.

Izuku's shut-in habits carried on for the rest of elementary all the way through middle school. Izuku had no friends and he didn’t bother trying to pursue having a social life. Having no distractions allowed him to focus on school. He had the highest score in his class for a reason. He often tied with Katsuki for first place in terms of intelligence. Katsuki didn’t like that.

Even if Izuku admired Katsuki from afar, he never let his biggest bully notice. Izuku avoided Katsuki to the best of his ability. Even if Izuku made effort to stay away, Katsuki chased. He'd never admit it, but he stalked Izuku.

Katsuki hadn't planned on spying on Izuku in the beginning. He assumed Izuku was ignoring him to act higher than him. Then it turned into spying. It was a shock to Katsuki after following Izuku, to find seeing that he refused to speak to anyone. If necessary, he’d use sign language to convey a message or write it down.

Once it became clear to Katsuki that Izuku was mute and not ignoring him, the situation shifted a bit. Suddenly he waited for the moment when he'd hear Midoriya's voice again. He wanted to know if it deepened or if it was still high-pitched and girly. Soon it sank in that he'd most likely never hear Midoriya's voice again.

In most of their classes, when you were called on, you answered the question on the board. You didn’t have to really say it out loud unless it was necessary for the subject matter. Izuku was able to get through school with close to no problems. He endured the bullying and pushed forward.

Inko had done her best to help. She tried everything in the book: speech therapy and child psychologists, and she sought out a pediatrician. Not much could be done. She tried all the tricks they offered her: shaping, self-modeling, and the list goes on.

It became clear the trigger of it was bullying and the traumatizing experience he endured at the ripe age of four. His dreams were shattered and everyone turned their back on him at a time when he needed support the most.

Izuku did see a therapist to open up about his bullying, but still only ever used sign language. When Izuku was being confronted by his bullies (classmates and teachers) he never once spoke. He had no desire to be a part of the world that surrounded him. He enjoyed submerging himself in the quiet.

Despite the odds, Izuku managed to save Katsuki from the sludge villain and impress Toshinori. Izuku had spoken to Toshinori, feeling safe and excited enough to use his words. Just like that, Izuku was on his way to obtaining the most power quirk to currently exist.

Izuku built a really strong bond with Toshinori, discussing his life and how he was selectively mute. Toshinori was grateful Izuku opened up about his life. While Izuku dedicated ten months to training from U.A. Toshinori dedicated ten months to learning sign language. While he didn’t have to use it to speak to Izuku, he wanted to make it easy for Izuku to talk to him.

Izuku probably had no one in his life that he could easily talk to by using sign. Izuku most likely had to write everything out for people to understand. It wasn’t ideal when he was Izuku’s mentor.

Izuku makes it into U.A. High and kept to himself. On the first day Uraraka thanked Midoriya for saving her. Iida greeted Izuku, beyond impressed with Izuku’s bravery. Izuku made it known he was mute, but he could hear. While it didn’t make them hate him, it kinda created a barrier in terms of communication. Everyone was beyond nice, but Izuku didn’t really click with anyone.

Being the current wielder of One for All, Izuku took control of how to handle his quirk development. As a result, Izuku was more open with Aizawa. He explained that he didn’t have a lot of experience with his quirk. His body had to become strong enough to withstand the tole his quirk would have on him. Aizawa recognized that Izuku had spent his time preparing for his quirk since he couldn’t train something he legitimately couldn’t use.

Aizawa was the second person to earn Izuku’s trust. Izuku still didn’t say more than a few words and he didn't speak to Aizawa if others were present. No other teachers or students had heard Midoriya’s voice.

Kirishima and Todoroki were the first two to hear Midoriya’s voice out of the class. Katsuki was also there, but it was the first time he’d heard Izuku speak since he was six.

It was during the USJ attack. Izuku leaped into action to save Toshinori.

“You stupid villain!”

If it hadn’t been in the heat of the moment, the three would’ve been more surprised by him speaking rather than the fact Izuku was about to die. Katsuki was undeniably unnerved. He was so used to the idea of Izuku’s voice still being exactly how it was nine years ago. It really got to him when Izuku’s voice was significantly deeper and he sounded so angry you could hear the words ripping through his vocal cords.

Then the sports festival came around, it went smoothly at the start. Izuku won the first event, had a great group during the second event, and was now in the final event. Izuku was against Shinso first. Ojiro was very aware Izuku was mute, but he was now aware Izuku could speak if he chose to. After filling in Izuku about Shinso’s ability to brainwash a person once they speak, Izuku thanked Ojiro. It meant a lot to him for Ojiro to seek Midoriya out to help him.

When the round started, Shinso went on a tangent. Izuku listened but ignored the anger that brewed in his gut. Shinso may have been saying those things simply to provoke Izuku, but it was extremely disrespectful for his life story to be assumed by someone he never met before.

Izuku had to fight quirkless considering he could really hurt Shinso if he used his quirk. He couldn't control his output so there was a slim chance he could kill Shinso. So they duked it out. It didn’t take too long for Izuku to knock Shinso out of bounds.

When going against Todoroki, Izuku knew what he was dealing with. Todoroki had told Izuku about his reasons for not using his second quirk: fire.

Midoriya understood what Todoroki was feeling. The effects of how he was treated by being quirkless resulted in a long list of problems. Izuku couldn’t begin to imagine the effects abuse had on him, not to mention the dysfunctional family not providing any help.

Izuku saw past all of that and knew Todoroki needed help. While he wasn’t going to throw away the competition, he wasn’t going to let Todoroki struggle either.

Izuku found himself yelling at Todoroki. Izuku wanted to test the waters, but ultimately just had to push Todoroki’s buttons. Despite the pain both Todoroki and Izuku were enduring from their battle. This match was a lot more than just winning the sports festival.

Then came workplace internships to gain experience. Hosu was under attack and the Stain incident occurred. Izuku managed to become a “true hero” alongside All Might. It was impressive considering Izuku is the second person Stain has claimed to be a true hero. The situation brought Izuku, Todoroki, and Iida closer together.

When final exams rolled around, working with Katsuki to go against Toshinori was a strange situation. Katsuki was still beyond temperamental. Everyone knew the two didn’t along and Katsuki was still hostile towards Izuku. The fight was brutal and the two teens had their air knocked out of their lungs more times than they could count.

Izuku still had yet to speak directly to Katsuki. Katsuki overheard Izuku talking, but Izuku still hadn’t spoken to Katsuki. Imagine his surprise when he is punched in his puke-covered face by Izuku to hear his yelling.

“Don’t you dare say you’d rather lose!”

The final exams ended and summer arrived. Summer would've gone great yet their "summer vacation: went horribly wrong. The league of villains decided to ambush the teens.

Izuku hadn't spoken the entire trip until he was alone with Kota. He hated seeing Kota give up on the world just like he did. After all the child was only five. In hopes to change Kota’s fate, he spoke up.

“If you reject it that harshly, the only person getting hurt is yourself,” explained Izuku, patient with the kid who had an explosive personality like Katsuki.

While Kota didn’t react well to Izuku’s advice, he was enraptured by Izuku’s voice. When he kicked Midoriya in the balls, Mandalay shunned him but also revealed Midoriya was mute.

Muscular appears and he is out for blood. Muscular tried to kill Kota and Izuku was not going to let it happen. In a fit of panic and rage, Izuku screamed out. Seeing Kota use his quirk in desperation ignited a fire in him.

“As if… I’d let you kill him!”

Not even moments later, Katsuki was kidnapped and in the midst of despair, Izuku couldn’t stop the scream that echoed through the forest. That also didn’t stop his scream that conjoined with the crowds in the final battle between All Might and All for One. It seemed as if the world was coming back together just to fall apart again.

During the provisional hero license exam, Izuku once again had to scream. It was targeted at Todoroki and Yoarashi for almost getting Shindo killed.

“Dammit! What are you two doing!”

Izuku’s blunt choice of words helped the two get their asses back into order and focus on the mission at hand. Soon enough the provisional hero license exam ended and the results were in.

While Todoroki and Katsuki were away for their required remedial course, Izuku would face his biggest battle yet. Alongside the big three, a handful of his classmates, and some pro heroes, Izuku was to rescue a wonderful girl name Eri and help defeat the villain Overhaul.

Izuku was a lot more vocal in this fight for Eri’s sake. Despite his mind holding him back at the thought of others hearing, he shut it down and kept his focus on Eri. Nothing matter except saving Eri. Calling out to Eri was the most freeing and horribly exhilarating thing.

After recovery and returning back to school, it was time to prepare for the school festival. For a bit, things were perfect. Izuku could fall back into the shadows and relax. He didn’t have to speak and could enjoy time with Mirio and Eri.

Eri was amazed that Izuku was selectively mute. That meant she was super special for Izuku to have spoken to her. Izuku was fond of her reaction, flashing her a bright smile.

One weekend class 1-A wanted to go to the mall. Aizawa decided it was also the perfect time to show Eri the outside world. Eri stuck with Izuku, missing him from not seeing him much after the school festival.

Todoroki and Katsuki for some odd reason were the two that wandered around Izuku. You could blame their curiosity on Eri. She was stuck on his hip yet they had no idea how she knew Izuku. The mission Izuku was a part of was confidential.

Things never went smoothly with class 1-A. Aizawa had taken Eri for a bit while Izuku went to the bathroom. Despite his keen eye, Aizawa lost Eri. Izuku knew something fishy was happening. The last time he was in the mall, he was attacked by Shigaraki.

Half of the class stayed inside the mall while the other half was to observe the outside in case she wandered off far. Izuku, Todoroki, and Katsuki are stationed outside. Izuku was on the top floor of the mall, running around on the catwalk.

Izuku has no clue where to look or what to do. The panic settled in and people were everywhere. While everything in his head is screaming at him to return to the quiet and retreat, Izuku talked a deep breath and calls out into the world.

“Eri-chan!”

Izuku was turning around in circles, his mind reeling at the fact she could be anywhere. Todoroki and Katsuki heard Izuku call out and started head over. While they were trying to get to Izuku, Izuku spotted something out of the ordinary.

A car was approaching. Whoever was at the wheel drove sporadically. Taking a look at the diver, he immediately recognized the man as a villain. Seeing no one was in the car, Izuku went to work.

Stepping onto the railing, Izuku jumped off and down a level. Izuku ran forward, launching himself down the building. Once reaching the ground, Izuku landed right before the speeding car. Katsuki was blasting his way over, screaming for Izuku to get out of the way. From his view, the driver was now trying to swerve out of the way, but they weren’t going to make it.

Todoroki was sending out ice, trying to build an ice barrier between Izuku and the car. Despite their worries, Izuku had it under control. Izuku turned away from the car, drew back his leg, and t-boned the car with a single kick.

Katsuki and Todoroki stilled, seeing Izuku demolish the car with ease. When the two caught up to Izuku, they soon realized this was going to be the getaway driver. Moments later Aizawa alerts everyone Eri was found and the villain was arrested. Todoroki informs Aizawa about what happened and another police officer was sent their way.

Izuku and Eri were reunited. Eri jumped into Izuku’s arms and Izuku rested her on his hip. When the police came for a statement, Izuku grabbed a pen and wrote it down. He was not in the mood to talk.

Todoroki had no problem with Izuku’s silence and sighed to himself. “I thought you were going to die back there.”

“Yeah! What the hell was that nerd! Trying to get yourself killed?” shouted Katsuki.

Izuku smirked at the two before shrugging and walking away with Eri. While Katsuki was left standing there with a pissed frown, Todoroki mindlessly followed after his friend with a smile.

Silence was a bitch.

The end!

[ben-drowned-me]

Maybe some hcs about bloody painter or/and lost silver.

Anything from their hobbys to how they deal with their trauma.Whatever u want to write! :D

✧.* bloody painter headcanons

- I am SO glad someone wants stuff for helen, i have got so much written about him. I don't have many headcanons for silver, so I've decided not to write him at the moment. Feel free to send in another request for him and i'll get to it though !

Helen is a severe insomniac

joy division fan

I think painting started as a hobby for him but eventually turned into a coping mechanism

picked up journaling

absolutely hates silence but too much noise irks him

loves taking walks

really close with Jason, they're in each other's room often just watching the other do whatever

movie critic + analyzer. has a preference for dialogue-heavy movies

Closes off whenever he's reminded of past trauma/is put in a traumatic situation

like just completely goes into auto pilot

doesnt talk to anyone, busies himself with whatever work, anything he can do to distract himself

Once the situation is completely gone from his mind, he just switches back to usual.

Only Jason, Masky, Lazari, And Slender have seen his full face. Jane saw it once on accident. Neither of them said anything about it.

He'll never admit it, but he adores Lazari. Brother-sister duo.

Is constantly overworking himself. Hands shaking, blurring words. It gets bad

Usually pretty expressionless, but his eyes have a certain shine when he's painting.

wears rings. Fidgets with one on his pinky when hes nervous or lying

hopeless romantic

wants to try gardening but is scared his plants will die

his hands are soooo scarred up

refuses to swear in front of kids

hates poetry (he just doesn't understand what it's saying and it irks him)

horrible fashion, he cannot make a good outfit for the life of him

needs reading glasses but does not take care of them. does not clean them, puts his fingers on the lenses, and breaks them all the time.

wants to design tattoos

[pardonmydelays]

GET TO KNOW ME

i was tagged by @poptart-cat-78 to answer some questions (thank you thank you) 🩷 there were two parts, but i decided to start a new post and combine them into one (cause i'm a mastermind).

PART ONE

are you named after anyone?: no, i don't think so. i have a cousin who is named after me tho.

when was the last time you cried?: yesterday? i cry every day so probably.

do you have kids?: nope and i don't think i will ever have them tbh.

do you use sarcasm a lot?: sometimes i think i use it too often. chandler bing is my spirit animal.

what's the first thing you notice about people?: i think it's their smile. or hair color. idk idk.

what's your eye color?: blue.

scary movies or happy endings?: ok look... i'm not saying i don't like happy endings, i love them, i really do. BUT. they make me forget about the movie/show/game too fast. i think sad/bittersweet endings are my thing. i want to be traumatized and think about it for the rest of my fucking life. scary movies are fine. i am choosing the secret third thing tho.

any special talents?: no, absolutely not. i am not talented in any way.

where were you born?: 🇵🇱.

what are your hobbies?: consuming any kind of media (music, tv shows, movies, video games etc etc) to find new obsessions, i also play ukulele a little and i like being annoying, i love collecting gifs in my phone.

have any pets?: no, but i would love to have cats and dogs (yes, plural).

what sports do you play/have played?: bold of you to assume i'm a sport person.

how tall are you?: 5'4 (not tall).

favourite subject in school?: english, cause i was pretty good at it (sometimes you have to learn foreign language in order to understand your favorite songs).

dream job?: no job at all. i just want to be in bed.

PART TWO

first ship: i think i already mentioned that in some other tag game, maddie and zack from the suite life of zack and cody (at least the first one i remember).

three ships: pb&j (pam and jim from the office because that's what i'm currently watching), i'm pretty sure claire and charlie from lost were also named peanut butter & jelly (because of reasons) so let's put them here because i suddenly miss lost, and let's say monica and chandler from friends because i would fucking die for them.

last (current) song: gracie abrams - right now.

last movie: star wars: episode III - revenge of the sith 💔

currently reading: posts on tumblr.

currently watching: the office/star wars/jimmy fallon (yes, i am watching all of this at once every day because it's a good distraction and i need to be distracted all the time).

currently consuming: i am drinking water at the moment (stay hydrated babes).

currently craving: a cheeseburger.

this was long but also fun. np tags: @meetmeatthemidnight, @tisthedamnseasns, @era-zona, @selcouthangel, @midnights-ts, @happinessforevermore. have fun guys 🩵🩵🩵

[wateringmyselfalways]

Hi!

My name is E, and I am 20 years old. I am currently enrolled in college (thinking about law school but idk lol). I decided to begin this page, so I could finally be serious about my self-improvement journey (which I plan on working on for the rest of my life). I have been consuming self-improvement content since around 2017, but I have struggled to actually apply the advice to my life.

To remain brief (and anonymous), I struggled with a very serious (and traumatic) event in February 2020 while I was a junior in high school. Shortly after, the pandemic began, and I was separated from the high school activities I used as distractions. Scared to confide within the people in my life, I turned to food and sleep for comfort. While never being diagnosed, I likely suffered from depression at the time. This spiraled into me using food and sleep to cope with any issue in my life.

When I went to college in fall of 2021, the newfound independence led to more overeating, social isolation, and reliance on school/extracurricular activities to distract myself. I rarely dedicated time to myself. As a result, I have gained over 50 pounds since March 2020, my cholesterol is high, I have no energy, I have no time to myself, and I have lost all of the hobbies I once had.

I am tired of living like this. I want to work on loving myself and improving myself once and for all instead of just watching others live the life I desire. I’m not doing this for a boyfriend or for the validation of others. I’m not doing this so my life looks interesting on social media. I am embarking on this journey to take back what was stolen from me all those years ago.

For a long time, I was living my life for others. I let people treat me however they wanted because I wanted their approval. I never stopped to ask myself what I wanted. I let my family talk down to me, classmates use me, and boys violate me, all without ever speaking up for myself. It’s time that I finally get to be the selfish one.

I decided to start this account to find community. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends. I’m even in a sorority. However, I don’t feel comfortable confiding in people in my real life because I don’t want others knowing my plans for my life before they are set in motion. Some people judge. Others give unsolicited advise. Some even sabotage. I think it would help if I found a group of people with a similar history, similar issues, and similar goals in life.

I’m sorry if this came across as too personal, but I have been holding all of that in for years lol. Feel free to follow if you would like to follow (and hold me accountable) on my self-improvement journey, health and wellness journey, mental health journey, and my journey to grow closer to God.

If you have read this far, thank you for your time. Remember, the grass is ALWAYS greener where you water it. 🤍🤍🤍

[lillykepler]

As a mentally disabled and disordered person, I empathize deeply with the character Prometheus from Greek mythology. His story goes that he stole the eternal flame from the gods and gave it to mortals. As punishment, Zeus tied Prometheus to a rock where a giant eagle would peck at him and eat his entrails every day until he died. At the start of the next day, he would be made whole again, only for the eagle to start the torment anew—an unending living hell.

While I haven't stolen anything from any god nor do I have a giant bird eating my insides every day, I do face a similar relentless struggle. Each day, I wake up to a million different thoughts rushing through my head, all competing for my attention. It feels as if my brain is trying to tear itself apart in my skull. Despite this chaos, I struggle to maintain consciousness, even though lying back down makes me restless.

For 45 minutes to 2 hours, I battle these voices telling me how worthless I am, calling me a faker and a malingerer, urging me to end my life, spewing confusing nonsense, and making my entire consciousness sound like the wailing cries of hell. Once I manage to get this under control, I am left with 12 to 16 hours of empty, free time while my brain does everything it can to make me dissociate, distract me, and force me to relive embarrassing or traumatic memories.

Nothing holds my attention. Nothing feels right. I feel useless all day. I walk around confused, empty, and exhausted just from fighting my brain that is constantly causing trouble for me. My hobbies feel hollow, video games are boring because I've played them a thousand times, I have no money or energy to leave the house, and reading is an impossible task. I can't even make it through movies and TV shows.

At the end of the day, I take my meds, climb into bed, and battle my brain some more to allow me to sleep. When I finally do, I have weird dreams and nightmares, only to wake up to the same proverbial eagle tormenting me, making me live my never-ending hell.

Allow me to end this by putting you at ease. This may sound like I'm on the verge of doing something permanent, but this is probably the furthest I've been from wanting the forever sleep since I was eight. So don't worry about me. I am on the road to recovery and am hopeful that one day I can live a more full and fulfilling life.

Thanks for listening.

[theonlysamy]

Can’t do this on Facebook , tuh .

As wonderful and as traumatizing as the memories of my past were , I am refusing to continue to keep living in it …

It’s time for me to create a new future for myself .

What do I really want ?

Hmm …. That’s a question I infinitely keep asking myself …… cuz what I really want feels like a dream v/s the reality ….

My dream was to have a husband, a family home , 2 babies , a stay at home mother making money from hobbies that I love & living life to the fullest .

My reality is that I won’t have kids , I won’t have a husband & I still can’t figure out how to get rich off of something that I love doing …. 🤔😪

I don’t want to sound so unhopeful. I just feel like if I meet a man that I want to settle with , I can’t even say marry … to marry means I’m in love with you and I might not be …. I might not be in love with you forever … that’s the problem … so I’m going to settle with someone I can se myself around forever …

Which is the most challenging part due to the fact that I require a lot of space especially if you start to annoy me .

My goal right now is to feel confident in my own skin because the physical flaws I have, I feel needs some adjustments so that I can express the sexyI feel within.

Then I want to attract a man with values , morals, class , sexual attraction, great hygiene. No skeletons in his closet , no extra baggage.

I believe God has been so good to me throughout the years that I believe once I fully love myself in & out because there’s a lot I still have to work on Emotionally , Mentally, Spiritually. I have so much work overall !! I have no confidence to meet or attract a man that God feels can benefit me .

I ….. want to start stepping back outside again and this time in places that attract people with creative mindset, which I love . So I’ll go yoga class , the park , art class , library’s …. I need to schedule everything in my life so that I can commit to really being present.

I’ve wasted so much time being distracted I believe I stopped fully experiencing the moment of being present after I graduated. High school was only the beginning but I was still outside & present.

At 18, I was stuck in distraction & living in a fantasy.

At age 30, I’m back in reality . It took that long for me to wake up again …. And really be present , really grasp every second of my life . Really , feel , ALIVE .

I’m more joyful in my Spirit knowing that .

I deactivated my Facebook becuz I have childhood memories attached with those followers that I never want to lose. I just can’t . Ima keep em in a safe and lock em away . I will come back when I feel ready again.

I want to start a new life with new friends , new environment, new chapter , new adventures, new experiences, new people , new views , new mistakes , new accomplishments, new goals & aspirations.

New love , no heartaches . I’m more careful now .

It feels good to understand life alil bit better now.

[originsoflemontrails]

This week started out as promising. I planned ahead because I know it was going to be busy--especially my Tuesday class. It's only Thursday but I am so tired. Taken in another perspective: finally. it's already Thursday. I have 2 more remaining classes for the week before I can recharge.

I was proud of myself last Saturday because I was able to focus for 4 hours. It was a small win because I feel like with all my depleted motivation for law school, I wouldn't be able to achieve an hour of productivity-- it just keeps me distracted at something else: life outside law school, hobbies to take up, books to read etc. But this Tuesday class compels me to study and it is working lol. I also want to exert more effort on that class because it's my second time taking it so the goal is to truly comprehend it-- even if it takes the life out of me. I like the professor and my classmates too (more on this soon, hopefully).

Anyway, by Wednesday I was drained. However I was also sad and frustrated that day because of a group project. I feel like our group's dibs system lacks balance. When it was time for me to choose, the only thing left was the actual pleading. Pleadings take a long time to make especially when you want to win a case-- however, we had less than 24 hours to pass it AND only one person will be working on it-- that was me. So I was working at 4-9 in the morning and drafted the pleading straight after shift until 5 or 6pm. I was also the one who compiled and edited it all (this was voluntary-- but also unnecessary T_T *take note @/self!!) it was never-ending and my whole pleading was a mess not to mention I was sick at the time. In the end, I just wanted to get it done since I've been going on it for straight hours already and I was awake since 4am-- I couldn't care less anymore. It's just sad and frustrating that we couldn't have a better system for the group since some got easy tasks while others fight limb to limb just to finish it T_T. Anyway I called in sick the next morning for work. Thank God we had a free cut today. I am still contemplating if I should attend classes tomorrow since it will be face to face and I'm not quite healed yet. I am also still reeling from the pleading task I made. It was very traumatizing. That also proved that I might not take up litigation work if I ever become an attorney. But we'll see.

I wish we had free cut tomorrow too :( I still need to prepare for my Tuesday class for next week. Hopefully the blues disappear this weekend.

[br0ken--bones]

I really hate to say it but I really regret some of the choices I’ve made to get me to where I’m at in life. I always thought I had it figured out, or at least was being lead on a path to something greater.

I feel so worthless and over the mundane life this depressing ass world gives us. The only times I feel real true joy is when I’m getting an escape from this reality.

I can’t trust the people around me to even talk about these things because I’ll be flooded with concern and/or suggestions that just don’t matter- or they’ll just tag me as depressed and it’ll change their viewpoint of me altogether.

I probably am depressed, i feel like I am. The world around me takes no breaks from reminding me how worthless and replaceable I am. My relationship with my family is shit, I don’t even want to be around them because it never amounts to any deep connection. My love relationship is sure as hell not going to make it if it continues on the path it’s on.

People who “need” me only need me when it’s convenient and the second I try to involve my feelings, emotions, deep thoughts and opinions I get shut down immediately so I just feel myself shutting down to not even try anymore.

The only one who really truly needs me here on this earth is my son, but even that feels like a burden some days, it’s hard for me to find joy when I get frustrated and overwhelmed by being his constant source of food and comfort.

I hardly have hobbies that keep me interested, social media is a fake outlet and a distraction that can only hold my attention for so long.

I do find some joy in cooking, if I actually had the money and/or time to put into it on a regular basis.

I just want to feel heard, understood & needed. I want to have freedom to do the things that can bring me joy. I want to feel like I actually bring joy to others & matter. I want to have a family that I can actually talk to, be myself with, grow with, etc.

I’m only an amenity to other peoples joy and I feel so empty inside. There’s nothing left of me, there is no point.

Why was I sent to Earth, or did I chose to come? I don’t understand because I’m not getting anything out of this life. I try to be the best, most positive and overly helpful person that I can be- but at age 25 that has been crushed and diminished by so many traumatizing people and events that person doesn’t even exist anymore and I have to force myself to try to be that person. All I ever wanted to do was make others happy.

Now I feel like I have to be shut down, silenced, and submissive to what others want because my own feelings don’t matter to anyone else. I want to not care but I can’t help it, I always do. Why am I like that? Why do I care so much? Why can’t I make my own happiness or find my own freedom? I always have to look somewhere for answers and now i feel lost with no direction to go.

I feel like I have to start over, strip myself of all I ever used to be but how do I find the strength to do that? What do I do with all the baggage that’s been left behind?

I just hope I figure it out soon before I lose everything that I still have to hang on to.

[mimzy-writing-online]

You probably know this by now, I don't know if you keep up with Whumptober, but one of the prompts this year includes "blindness". I'm not blind but based on your posts about writing blind characters, and based on how I would feel if one of my disabilities were used as a whump prompt, I'm not super comfortable with it. I was wondering what your thoughts are on blindness being a Whumptober prompt.

(unironically and with feeling) thanks, I hate it.

Yes, I’m familiar with Whumptober, but I’ve never participated myself and I haven’t seen this year’s prompts.

Edit: I later did see the prompts and check out the blog. I think it's a good set of prompts and I look forward to all the promising content, especially since some of my favorite tropes are there. To be clear before you read this, I have no problem with Whumptober2021 or whump in general. This is not the first time blindness has been included for a list of whump prompts, and it won't be the last.

This post directed at the concept of "blindness" as a whump prompt and why I think it's a bad idea. The intended audience is individual writers thinking about future projects.

The timing of this is almost too perfect because I read a fanfic earlier this week that would meet that prompt exactly. Tags included whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. Now whump, hurt/comfort, and angst with a happy ending are tags I enjoy reading, but blindness as whump has a specific message to it.

To explain that message, I want to discuss what whump is. Many readers are already familiar with the genre, but I think taking the specific definitions and picking apart what it means and what expectations we carry when reading whump fanfiction

Urban Dictionary defines it as: taking a character and putting them through physical and/or mental torment and is typically followed by the same character being treated for their traumas. To indicate the characters place in the situation they’d typically be called a whumpee (the character being hurt/comforted), the whumper (the character that causes harm and trauma), and the caretaker (the character designated the helping/healing/comforting the whumpee).

Fanlore has a page for whump that explains it in depth, including where it started in fanfiction, examples of whump, and even a list of “popular targets” in different fandoms. (Warning: you might find yourself called out on the popular targets list)

“The term whump (or whumping) generally refers to a form of Hurt/Comfort that is heavy on the hurt and is often found in gen stories. The exact definition varies and has evolved over time. Essentially, whump involves taking a canon character, and placing them in physically painful or psychologically-damaging scenarios. Often this character is a fan favorite…”

To add to that, I think an important detail is the distinction Fanlore makes between hurt/comfort and whump:

“While some communities and fandoms may use whump as a synonym for hurt/comfort, there is still a recognition that whump refers to darker and more extreme scenarios. And there are still whump fics been written that have very little, or no comfort at the end of the story.”

The big appeal of hurt/comfort is getting to both explore the darker sides of pain and then experience the catharsis of being taken care of, of being supported by your loved ones as you recover from the trauma. The character is the proxy for experiencing those highs and lows while you yourself are safe at home.

I personally don’t read much/any whump without some h/c involved, but I’m happy there are stories out there for people who do enjoy it. I’m not here to judge what you like reading or what you do to your characters.

What I want is to express how blindness, my disability, used as a whump prompt personally makes me feel and what message it sends to me, to others, and how that message affects my daily life.

Whump undeniably involves watching a character suffer through something painful and traumatic.

My use of the word “suffer” is what I want you to focus on.

Vision loss can be painful and traumatic. I personally developed an anxiety disorder in response to vision loss. Others experience depression. For some it might result in relapsing into old, maladaptive coping mechanisms like drug use, self harm, or eating disorders.

A big part of my anxiety was how people reacted to my vision loss. It was a cause of their stress. They were worried because they genuinely believed I would never live a happy life without normal vision, and that my life would only be struggle and pain.

I recently saw an old friend who hadn’t heard about my vision loss. The conversation was awkward, but the worst part was how they reacted as though I had experienced an insurmountable tragedy. And even when I assured them I’m happy with my life, they clearly didn’t believe me. They acted like I was just lying or in denial.

I love that people want to empathize with my situation and ask themselves what they would do in my situation, but I hate when the conclusion they come to is something along the lines of “I could never do that, I’d be too miserable thinking about everything I lost, I’d never be able to do anything I enjoyed ever again.” But I did go blind. And I’m not miserable, I’m actually happy with the direction my life is going, and I still enjoy my hobbies, even if I engage with them differently.

I’m not suffering. My life didn’t end with vision loss. It’s not ruined, broken, or worthless.

I read a fanfic that was tagged with whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. A general synopsis of the plot: the whumpee had gone blind due to a curse. It was true love’s kiss that broke the curse. Even from the summary I knew it was going to end with whumpee being cured somehow and that I’d leave that fanfic vaguely dissatisfied no matter how good the rest of the fanfic was.

I can say this for the fanfic: the whumpee had already accepted that they would likely be blind for the rest of their life, but everyone around them was treating it as a tragedy that needed to be fixed, working tirelessly for a cure despite the whumpee’s protests that they didn’t have to.

It actually hit home to my personal experience.

I still left it dissatisfied with the ending. I might love curse fics in that fandom, and I love the “true love’s kiss” trope, but it wasn’t enough to distract me from the fact that: an actual person out in the world thought the best happy ending, maybe the only happy ending, would be if the character got their sight back.

(note: I clicked kudos and exited out of the story's page because no fanfic writer deserves unsolicited critique or hate, especially for content I consumed for free and at my own volition.)

Why read a story I knew would disappoint me?

Because blindness representation is so damn rare that I feel like I’m wandering in a desert, dying from thirst and desperate for that oasis. But sometimes that oasis is a mirage and the author is unintentionally telling you that your life is actually awful and you’ll never be fully happy like this. And that is a shit mentality to walk through life with.

I don’t appreciate blindness being a whump plot. I hate it. Hundreds (thousands?) of fanfictions featuring blind characters are about to enter the internet and the overall message is going to be “You poor thing! You must be in so much pain, you must be miserable! Who’s going to save you? Who’s going to comfort you? Wouldn’t it be terrible if there was no one in your life to take care of you? You poor helpless thing!”

And I feel objectified. I feel trivialized. The mirage in the desert is going to become a starch, empty room filled with dozens of water bottles, almost all of them poisoned. My representation is going to hurt me personally, and it’s going to reinforce that idea strangers have about how awful my life must be.

(I returned to school this past month, and every day I’m hesitant to tell someone I’m visually impaired because I don’t want to be treated differently. If I’ve managed to pass as sighted this whole time and then suddenly reveal “oh yeah, I’m visually impaired” I feel this instant silence, this pause of awkwardness as people suddenly question how they’re supposed to treat me. They treated me like a person, and now I’m something strange and unfamiliar.)

I’ve worked so hard to improve representation for blind people, to give internet strangers the exposure to a blind person they need to normalize blindness because I hope that if they’re ever so lucky as to meet a blind person, they’ll treat that person with respect. That hope that another person in the blind community will find a friend they feel comfortable and accepted with. I hope that I’ll meet people who accept my blindness as just another aspect of me (like being bisexual or gender fluid or a writer or a cat lover).

Please don’t turn me and my community into a caricature. Don’t erase everything I’ve worked for with this blog.

To be clear, this is not just me saying "I hate the cure trope" again. This is me saying "the purpose of whump is to painfully hurt your favorite character, and I hate that your idea of pain and suffering is my daily (wonderful) life."

[alexalblondo]

because I keep seeing this discussion on twitter and now also on tumblr and I have sth to say I really hope no one misconstructs my words here but:

The thing about the Abu Dhabi GP 2021 is if it's sth you would legit describe as traumatic for you? Walk away from F1.

I don't say that to be rude but hobbies are supposed to be fun and not supposed to feel like they are life or death for us but if that's what F1 feels for you currently? Walk away.

Here's a hard truth: you don't matter to F1. Your tweet your, your post, your message, it won't change what happened and it won't change what will happen in future races - but watching apparently changes shit for you for the worse.

The truth is Lewis doesn't know you. Non of the drivers do. Your heartfelt defence of Seb or Lando or whomever ... yeah, okay, maybe it will change sth a lil for someone reading it but in the long haul it won't matter, not for the drivers at least, definitely not for the FIA. So now you're just caught having the same conversations with the same people over and over and nothing happens. So walk away!

If this fandom has long term negative effects on your mood or your life - walk away.

I'm not saying this to be condescending but the fact is you won't heal, you won't feel better while you stick around and defend whomever online and get into fights and whatnot - you'll only feel worse

So walk away. Give yourself time to heal and come back if you wanna. Hobbies are supposed to be fun, are supposed to distract from real life if needed, are supposed to be an outlet for emotions - they're not supposed to also cause bad feelings that last long term, they are not supposed to be traumatic. They are not supposed to negatively affect your life for more than a few hours or maybe days.

You wouldn't, Idk, keep going for runs if you feel worse after every run or doing pottery if all it did was make you feel angry or keep singing if you only had panic attacks from it and all the joy was gone - you'd walk away.

I know that racism doesn't stop at F1 but in this case you are in the unique position to say: you know what? It's not worth it! And walk away.

You don't have to be fine with what happened. No one expects you to be fine with what happens. It obviously wasn't fine! But you should find a way to work through this trauma and quite frankly: it's more than unlikely you will while you're sticking around and constantly confronting yourself over and over again. So walk away!

Lewis wouldn't want you to be distressed by what happened to the point where it causes you a trauma. No one does. What he would want for you is to heal, is to be able to enjoy watching F1 - and if that isn't you anymore, if you can't do that anymore: than walk away! Cause the only person you're hurting right now is you. And it shouldn't be that way and I'm sorry sth that's supposed to be a hobby made you feel that way but also please take care of yourself and walk away and heal cause no one benefits from the way you are feeling right now.

So take care! F1 will - probably - still be here if you wanna come back later.