#i genuinely thought it would never come out since they dont treat the game the best these days

[galakaz]

WHAT THE FUCK TF2 COMIC RUN IS DONE?!?!?!??!!?

AND ITS GOOD?!!??????

[hiraethminds]

This is a tangent, I'm here to entertain with needless rambling

The deep rooted hatred for taco I see in the II community genuinely concerns me. Especially since those people tend to be Mephone "apologists"(For lack of a better word, I love Mephone don't get me wrong) despite how taco is the "active" side of the coin to his "passive". The connections between them are there trust me Im connecting the dots. Ive connected them.

I understand that she's done bad things, but blaming her for her shortcomings when she doesn't and never had the same support group to change as Mephone did makes me a little ehh.. Getting upset because Microphone showed her support in the new episodes simply because you don't like the ship(I understand why people wouldnt but thats not an excuse to deny her anything), and because Taco doesn't know how to change yet and you refuse to see her as anything redeemable. I'm not big on shipping, thats not the point of this tangent, but Taco finally having someone to support her and help her change is a GOOD thing. Microphone was being the bigger person there, she was being mature and thoughtful because Taco clearly needs the help. The fact that people continue to deny Taco any kind of growth even if she goes about it in the wrong way makes me deeply uncomfortable. Because the moment any character does anything bad that isn't HER they don't say anything about it. She was shunned by her peers because she was playing the game and continued to 'play the game' so to speak.

Theres a deep rooted hint of misogyny in the way they treat her, but I wont yap about that you dont need to read allat.

I understand people have reasons for not liking characters! That's ok. But I've seen them actively go out of their way to harass people that DO like Taco and actively criticize enjoying her character.

They tend to take it as defending her actions. Which is not what's happening. I don't think oscommunity could handle vriska is all I'm saying.

Feel free to not answer this I just need whatever little imp is telling me to scream about it to get out. go draw a taco dis is driving me crazy

Thank you for dumping this in my inbox bigbarf200, I feel like a wise confidant.

okay so I don't interact/observe with the wider ii community (Mainly cuz i like playing with my touys without being bothered) So this information is so Interesting to me!!!

As you mentioned, the hate might stem from misogyny (and by the way, I’d love to read your essay—talk all you want, my friend!). This is a societal issue that affects every part of life.

That said, I also think some people might dislike her simply because she’s a hustler and stubborn. When she has a goal, she’ll do whatever it takes to achieve it, even if it means crossing into morally gray areas.

holding Mepad hostage > hijacking the show

lying and deceiving objects with good intentions > winning s1

seriously hurting Fan > winning Mic immunity

as you said in the greater scheme of things, she's genuinely done horrible things. But if you just accept that at face value you are missing out on such an amazing character. You have to consider her perspective and the circumstances of her birth (especially in a story like ii!!) to fully understand and come to an option on her. But I digress this is baby level analysis so ill move on.

people who think Mic being friendly towards Taco post e14 is out of character are misunderstanding Microphone as both a character and thematic device I think

that's literally the only rational reason I could think of as to why people would be mad about taco and mic being on good terms???

so yeah, these haters just sound like crazy irrational people who have a lot of pent-up emotions. crazy

anyways ty!!! I feel like I didn't have alot to add since, as stated, these people are just incredibly irrational. but its nice getting an earful of whagh the fuck the community is like. here are soem taco drawings for the occasion

[rey-jake-therapist]

You know, Sauron gets called a narcissist a lot and we should talk about it a bit. The thing is, from someone who's read books, watched films, and done tons of info gathering all because I lived with a narcissistic parent, it's surprisingly to me how so many ppl only look at his tendencies from an angle of victimhood (but understandable), and not the angle that if you're cunning enough, you can play the reverse uno card on their dumb asses. I lived in emotional pain for years until I realized I decided to accept the role of victim, and that I didn't have to. So I decided to research everything about narcissists, and found psychological ways to play them at their own game by taking advantage of their blind spots.

For one, since they have this inflated sense of grandiosity, they find it very hard to believe a lie that flatters their ego. Idk if ppl realize this. Because denying a compliment with /some/ truth in it would mean they are being humble, and thus downplay this false image they desperately want others to believe about them (unless they're faking humility for reason, like to get a promotion or to flatter themselves to someone above them on the ladder, or in Gals case, because he thinks it would look good on him in her eyes to appear 'humble'), as well as admitting to that egoistic part of themselves that they aren't as great as they believe they are (and they do). Like I said how I lived with a narcissistic parent? I figured out that if I pretend to hype them up when they're in a good mood, they would genuinely think I cared about them and thought they were this amazing dad, and they would be like 'hey let's go get some mcdonalds!' It was nothing like the genuine love from a nonnarcisstic dad, but I learned how to manipulate him to get things that I wanted, simply by playing to his need for admiration and validation.

I'm not saying this tactic works for every narc you come across, but if you can get yourself into their head, be the master to their puppet strings, instead of opposing them or correcting them (they hate criticism and anything that hurts their ego, as we see with Annatar), you can use them just as they see you as a tool.

Idk if any of this makes sense. I do think that I may have absorbed some of my dad's traits for seeing things this way, but I know in my heart I would never ever treat my own kid like this. I see it as a form of adaptation to living with someone with such a vile personality disorder. But in terms of Sauron, he's got to be one of the dumbest narcissists I've seen. He is praised for his masterful deceit and manipulation but he's genuinely stupid in that he doesn't have the self awareness (like the audience, particularly haladriels) to realize that Galadriel is a huge blindspot for him in everything.

I'm not JRRT and I can never hope to write anything near the world he built, but if the forces of good have any brain they would take advantage of this blindspot in some way instead of furiously kicking against the current and thus causing a lot of bloodshed and losses for their own side.

I hope you don't mind if I copy/paste your second message here since it's the continuation of this one... It avoids that I make two different posts :)

And also, just to add to my last ask: And this is why I think Gal jumped off the cliff. She still has some sort of emotional entanglement with this whole mess, which is a HUGE RISK if she were to try to play him at his own game (at this point). It's one thing to completely divorce any kind if feeling between me and my narc dad, who I've lived with for years, and slowly realized that he would never be the dad I am owed. It took a lot of pain and tears when I finally realized it (Dont feel sorry for me, I'm not even emotional about this anymore, I just see our past in this clinical detached way. I find narcs fascinating in same way a scientist studies a lab rat). But for Galadriel, her situation is different. She didn't have years by his side to slowly realize this. To slowly pick apart and coldly analyze Sauron's pattern of action, thoughts, and habits like I did with my own dad. Her feelings at that meeting were raw and unorganized, she was angry, more emotionally betrayed, unable to stop galloping until the very end, when she stumbled upon a last ditch idea (really it was a gamble) to get away as far as she can from him. Idk if its because of the crown wound or her own resolve that she fears is weakening her, but she needed distance asap. But I really think my idea is interesting and I hope to see more fics in the future that take on Galadriel using herself as his blindspot to weaken him. It doesn't have to he canon compliant, but it would also play well into how canon ends. Just some interesting food for thought. A lot of fics I see are pwp and redemption focused, which I already love, but I also kind of want to see them become like chess masters as manipulation. Gal in particular has so much potential and we know she has a very vindictive dark side. ;)

I know you said you said there was no need to feel sorry for you, and I actually admire your strength of character, but I still want to say this : no kid should have to suffer from having narcissist parents. I myself lived with a narcissist for years, so I know where you come from, even if it was of course a different dynamic. And you're right about not accepting to be a victim ! It's very hard, because it involves accepting that you deserve better, something that a narcissist will constantly make sure you don't. Needless to say that the Annatar/Celebrimbor relationship was very hard for me to stomach, because of the way Annatar behaved towards Celebrimbor. It felt very familiar, and I really didn't like it. I'm worried about my kid now, especially after reading your post... I'm worried about how my ex's behavior will affect him. Hopefully, I am able to balance things out. I'm a lot of things, but I'm damn sure I'm not a narcissist.

I won't comment the rest of your post, not because I'm not interested, but for the exact opposite reason : I couldn't add anything smart or relevant to what you suggested for the Haladriel dynamic :) Thank you for sharing these ideas with me !

[charliefqirie]

What made you so drawn to Ozzy

you know, i’ve also wondered that myself for a while, but i think i figured it out.

ozzy, at first, did not stand out to me when i first got into the game. ozzy was just, there. my favorite was ted when i started.

ozzy’s a side character that doesn’t have much going for him. literally his only purpose in the game is to be killed. he’s just there to die. and he does not show any likeable traits to the average player, he’s a whiny, annoying, self-centered brat who’s constantly complaining every time you speak to him. he even told madison to take a bath first thing after she escaped (which i really don’t believe makes him a jerk, i mean being covered in unidentifiable slime is kinda gross don’t u think) who would like a character like that? ozzy’s really the most forgettable character in the game. these are thoughts i’ve noticed people always have abt ozzy. i didn’t really share these sentiments and didn’t think of ozzy as annoying but i certainly wasn’t that interested in him before, he was just neutral to me.

buggs and cindy are less liked than the rest of the characters but they’re still more liked than ozzy because they are fun and hilarious characters, with interesting dynamics to explore. i feel like the SLIME GANG, the characters who have like 3 lines of dialog at most get more love than ozzy. gives people a lot of room to explore the potential of what their characters could be. and ozzy? ozzy’s just there.

but maybe, that’s the reason why i started to like him?

i’m not much for genuinely hating characters without reason, the very idea makes me sad and pitiful. i never hated ozzy, he’s just five, of course he’s going to act like that. but i wasn’t that drawn to him back then either. (i also dont like it when people hate on cindy to a concerning extent. like yeah she’s a little brat i can understand why people would dislike her, i don’t like it when that happens but i still understand why people would, but to the point of genuine burning hatred is when it’s concerning and disturbing. she’s still just five. ah, but that topic is for another day. i’ll continue abt ozzy.)

back then in the old fandom, i had a friend who loved loved ozzy a lot, ozzy was their favorite and they cherished him. they shared their thoughts on why they loved ozzy and the potential his character has. it was their love that made me start to appreciate ozzy a bit more. but ozzy was still not my favorite still. i appreciated him a bit more but he was still kind of put to the side with me.

then kg3 got announced.

with the new game coming out, i found myself returning back to my old roots, with new people to share the interest. i didn’t even realize there was still a fandom after all this time. a small one, sure, but it’s still just as lively. it was around this time when ozzy started to shine to me.

i looked back at previous memories, looked back at old kg convo’s with friends, and one person stood out to me. this person, very obviously, hated ozzy. it was upsetting to me to see, especially since i had a friend who loved ozzy. they cut ozzy out of his own canon friend group a lot, made jokes of “who cares abt ozzy” and made his character quite unlikeable in their au’s. made madison break up with ozzy even, and made ozzy into this pathetic mess of an unlikeable character. essentially made him even more unlikeable than canon. all of this, genuinely upsetted me. i hate seeing characters treated like this. maybe they had a valid reason for disliking ozzy, maybe ozzy reminded them of a toxic friend they used to know or smthn, but looking back at old convos and seeing all that ozzy hate really perturbed me. i couldn’t stand seeing characters treated like this. and it was all that hate that made me realized really just how underappreciated and exaggerated ozzy was in the fandom.

seriously, ozzy really wasn’t as bad people thought. and he’s NOTHING like tweek from south park?? he’s not spazzy and nervous at all? he’s really more angry and uptight! (AND BY THE WAY MADISON DID NOT ASK FOR A HUG AND I DONT KNOW WHERE PEOPLE CAME TO BELIEVE THAT SHE ASKED FOR ONE WHEN SHE DIIDDNNNNTTTTTTTTT ITS A COMMON MISCONCEPTION IN THE FANDOM AND IT MAKES ME ANGRYYYYY. LITERALLY LOOK UP A CREATURE FEATURE PLAYTHROUGH, SKIP TO THE END AND YOU CAN SEE SHE DID. NOT. ASK. FOR A HUG. Anyways,) and, he was even willing to make friends with kidd after an act of kindness (which, tragically, ended in ozzy’s demise.) he was just sad. he was just sad and miserable that his friends were gone suddenly, and he lashed out. but people focused on his tantrums, they didn’t focus on why. all they say was a whiny brat who constantly complained and it was all of that that made the fandom turn their backs on him. people didn’t even remember ozzy CANONICALLY HAS FRIENDS. HAS A GIRLFRIEND. madison and ron. barely did i ever see them all in one post. BARELY. i was an avid member of the fandom and saw lots of fanarts and i saw almost NOTHING of ozzy and his friends. ozzy was always by himself. madison and ron were always paired with alice. ozzy was literally REPLACED with alice to make the slime gang. ozzy’s friends were paired with alice instead. ozzy was fucking replaced and it made me genuinely upset to see. did no one fucking pay attention to that? did everyone really fucking forget when ozzy literally complained about missing his friends all the time? why was ozzy replaced?

it was all this mistreatment that made me pity ozzy. perhaps this was why i started liking him. perhaps it was out of pity and anger at how much his character was mistreated. and with all this pity, all this anger, it made me pay attention to him more, it made me see his potential as a character.

it opened my eyes.

i started to think abt him more, thought about his good sides and moments, thought abt how fun his character could be and the potential dynamics he could have. and with his little quirks and traits, i even started to headcanon reasons for it. why’s he so germaphobic? haha, perhaps it was dr danner’s fault and he traumatized him. why does he like destructotron so much? perhaps his friends introduced him to it, and now that toy is his favorite, as it is the only memory he has of them now. and, i think ozzy’s more kinder than people think, he opened up to kidd after a single gift, ozzy’s really just mad at the new kids that they took his beloved friends away, but with that single act of kindness made him realize, ah, maybe they aren’t so bad. really, he’s just lonely, you know? my pity for him opened my eyes to how much potential his character has, especially since he wasn’t as developed as the other characters, so i did it myself. i developed him myself, gave him lots of headcanons, as i am passionate about him and i believed in him, all this pity was the stepping stone in me starting to enjoy him a lot, lot more. he has a lot of potential and i want to use it. i believe he’s an underappreciated lovely, lonely child who’s angry at the world. and i like to believe he’s genuinely kinder than people think, and that he cares. (i believe he felt a heart dropping amount of guilt when he told madison to take a bath. how could he say that after seeing her again? his germaphobia is somethign he cannot control and he hates it, it inconveniences him and now it’s inconveniencing his loved ones and he hates it. i believe the next day, he gave madison (knowing that she already took a bath ofc) a hug and a gift because he truly missed her and felt guilty he couldn’t hug her before.) he loves and cares and he laughs and cries. he loves his friends and he loves his toy and he loves his games. and i cherish him, and i want to give him something to be happy about. i want to be part of the tiny tiny club that truly enjoys ozzy as a character because he deserves it. he deserves some people who genuinely like him in this cruel fandom who only saw him and ignored him because of his whiny tantrums.

I believe he’s a good character and I like him.

perhaps it is pathetic to be so passionate about a fictional character, but does it really matter? i am still passionate. i am passionate and it gives me a drive.

[metallteeff]

my long gender post lol

idk how long it’ll actually be but like. god i’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of “knowing since you were a kid” recently and for the longest time i thought i didn’t really know but recently i’ve remembered and realized to an extent i did know but in the vein of “who cares” and i guess i just always assumed everyone else felt the same. like i just thought everyone was like who cares, but ill just wear this thing because everyone else does.

and i used to be really nervous and somewhat afraid of bringing up my autism and other things in relation to my gender because so many people use it to discount and discredit your experience, especially when it’s brought up as a cause of you being trans. i’ve always been afraid of someone coming up to me and saying “you’re not trans you’re just autistic and confused” which would be a double punch for me.

but i’ve started realizing thinking that way as a kid, before i knew any words to describe myself other than “weird”, was me knowing i just thought everyone also felt like that. and i have that issue often. that i just assume everyone sees the same thing as me, and then thinking we all process that information the same because i just think that’s how brains work.

what makes me sad is you can’t even be “odd” anymore. if people just saw me as some really weird off the deep end “girl” still i wouldn’t really care. i really try not to care what others perceive me as in terms of gender because to me it’s “not their business”. but even just having really weird or unique clothes at this point can get you clocked or treated weird. and i mean this to point out how awful it is that if you just dress kind of “weird” there is a larger chance of you being hurt or turned away or ostracized.

now when you dress “odd” you immediately have an agenda. you have some sick disease or people roll your eyes when you’re around. and i’ve never understood this hateful lens of obsession people have with clothes. i love clothes i definitely have a clothes obsession but they have always been some form of a costume to me. because that’s what they are. you dress up how you’d like to look like in them. so if i have the ability to dress how i desire why wouldn’t i? and if i was a “girl” you would still look at me funny. if i was a “guy” you definitely would. and because i lie inbetween ill never be taken seriously and ill always have this large neon sign above my head that flashes “NONBINARY” which people hate. people get so mad.

over the years i’ve tried to become “tougher” through saying i’m more “reasonable” than other nonbinary people. i just wear t shirt and jeans and im just like you! im more masculine and im nonbinary but i will only use he him! but oh my god it’s wearing down on my soul. it’s grating. and i’m so upset that i made myself do this. for myself for others and im mad that it’s something i felt like i had to perpetuate to be “taken seriously”. being a person is the most unserious thing in the world.

i’m so tired of “gender roles” and i have been since i was 12 and saw others sharing this sentiment and im tired because its confusing. it doesn’t make sense even historically. when boys wore pink because its closer to red. but suddenly now it’s some omen that an “agenda got you”. i have never understood any of this so i’ve never participated but by doing that i was punished. and when i participated i was hurt worse. there’s no point in playing this made up game so why should i have to care im sorry i really don’t. i dont at all.

i’m not trying to make a big point or anything. i mean this as when i was a kid i had absolutely no concept of gender. and when i tried to it hurt me awfully bad. my parents themselves were not that strict with gender roles besides telling me what the world would expect but i could always do “boy” and “girl” things. i mean this as when i was a child i genuinely thought i was a boy because i would sex myself by counting my ribs to make sure i had 13 (…) and i “always did” (i was like 7 lol). i had no concept because lionesses do all the work and big blue peacocks are male. this shit is all stupid and it never made sense to me since i was a kid. and i don’t think it will ever be “because” of anything. people will always try to put a cause but i felt like this when my life was perfect and happy when i was 6 years old and i had no hardships. it felt like this when it got harder it felt like this when it got worse it feels like this now. there’s no point to this.

this is very very long but i have been nonstop thinking about it. i have always felt stuck in my gender identity because of the rules put on this stuff and im sooooo so so tired about it. i feel like ive come out 5000 times because i dont know what im supposed to be. i’ve tried hard to find labels and do them right over and over but god. and it’s not that i don’t identify or feel connected to being queer, i very much do, but to me (and especially at this point) i don’t feel connected to being the “alternative” because it doesn’t make any sense. but being queer and especially trans you get painted as the undesirable alternative. you become “what happens sometimes” and then they’ll try to explain it. give it reason. their parents weren’t the best. they have a gene or a mental disorder or illness. they’re autistic and confused. they have identity issues. they’ll grow out of it. but i’m soooo tired of having to have an explanation. oh my god. because no one else does and when you point it out they get mad and turn it on you.

i don’t really have a nice way to wrap this up. and this is not the 5001 coming out post. i’ve known i’m gender fluid for the past 2ish years. i know what i am. i’m queer. as in odd as in gay as in “alternative” as in shapeless as in confusing. i know who exactly i am by being an ever changing thing but that’s seen as being unstable and lost in yourself instead of curious or intrigued by others explorations. i am just sick of having to explain myself to cis people and having to be seen as a “good example” in every facet of my life, related and unrelated to this.

[abimee]

ok anon legit think hermes is fine and cool?? they have no problems w him, to be clear? (but a refresher on hermes lore and role in the plot in ew would help them a lot)

they just have this need for the wol to be more important than they are already in the plot , and wants to give them agency,, and have their own thoughts and role..., so their hcs are... like that (genuinely sorry for the discomfort... they also havent done 6.0 in a while but they remember their hcs for it)

no worries at all again i wasnt coming with like any sort of malice at you i was just genuinely curious because the ''freeing meteion from her concept given at birth'' was a weird line for me since its common amongst people who despise hermes to say that he burdened meteion or that meteion was controlled by him, when the game goes at lengths to show that meteion loves hermes and only fell to despair because she didnt want hermes to be sad (even though hermes himself pleaded for her to let her emotions run free and that he will hear any answer from her whether it be good or bad). so I had interpreted this vague idea in a specific way that I personally dont like within the ff14 community (seeing meteion as troubled or burdened by hermes) and got worried

in general however i simply think we wont see eye to eye on how we treat meteion since I am staunchly a ''she is an animal and thats fine, hermes loved her as she was and i love her as she is'', and i dont see why meteion should become more human/join the scions when she has no attachment to us or etheryis as it is now --- i do talk to my bestie mags about how often I want her to show up with hermes at the Last Dregs, but otherwise i dont think meteion needs to enter canon and would never entertain that idea myself. Just like hades and hythlodaeus said when they went back to the lifestream, the world they once knew is no longer and this new world is not theirs, the people they loved are no longer around, so they see no reason to be --- I see that same way for Meteion, the world she tried to destroy is no longer her own, and she blessed us with her nest of dynamis so that we can see another day, and she herself is, not to be punny, ''leaving the nest''. I think she should fly high, and fly free, as hermes said before

so sorry for being a bummer about not seeing our interpretation, I usually love hearing about others wols and their stories but Hermes and Meteion are a bit too important to me that I often cradle their story in my hands as something special, which makes me a bit hard to sway when it comes to them. No hard feelings once again, and I hope you know I dont hold any sort of like ''judgement'' for how you go about your WOL and your interp, we are two strangers after all and I hope you enjoy yourself out there

[captchalure]

Different tokes for different folx

Honestly it feels disrespectful to myself at this point after how I was treated. I deserve so much better.

I never asked for this. To base the foundation of your music on me, then act like I dont exist, choosing a demon over me without any regard for my feelings, knowing the situation I'm in... it's showed me things about human nature that I never wanted to know.

Why would you be so cruel?

Did you enjoy inflicting pain on me, or did you just not care?

Why would you rope me in to all of this under the guise of love just to tie a noose and leave me hanging?

Then the demonic gang stalking by the homegrown legion of demons that is your community, nope, it didn't bother you.

Sociopathic narcissistic emotional manipulation. Military grade psychological torture.

I cant even move on because I'm so traumatised by this endless nightmare. I started dating someone but idk I think all of this has made him afraid of starting something because it's so messy and I dont know how to explain any of it.

Cant you see that whether you intended to or not (and maybe you did), the culture has enslaved me.

Do you care?

Is that what you wanted all along?

Deeply disturbed.

It's crazy what people put up with for "love" and keep coming back for, myself included. I see now that the truth is 90% of humans have no idea what love is. What we thought was love was acrually trauma bonding and selfish attachment.

Its actually common for empaths with hearts like mine to end up discarded in our society because genuine love is so rare, and people have ao much trauma around love that when they feel something real, something vulnerable, they end up fleeing because it's scary. Trauma bonds are the comfort zone they know. This is my guess at what's happening with my current situation. I'm so so wrapped up in this drama i feel unable to comitt.

It's like one asshole is preventing the happiness of at least 3 other people. I just want closure. I'm unable to process my emotions around this whole nightmare situation because I have no idea what the truth is.

It hurts deeply to be rejected coldly by someone because they prefer to be exclusive with someone else that has a cold heart. Someone that hates you and wishes ill on you simply because you are loved by the person they love.

It's a real slap im the face.

It's psychotic.

It's happened so many times now that i've gotten used to it. Its why I have matured and believe in polyamory.

Everyone deserves to be loved. There should be enough to go around without leaving people to suffer alone behind a stonewall.

Selfishness and jealousy are no excuse. That's not how to love a person. Thats how to own and control them.

Backward bonkers world all the time for so, so long.

When does it end?

THE ONES WHO WALK AWAY FROM OMELAS

[fluffyseal322]

Fri Nov 1

~ My favorite month <3

Oct 31st, halloween.... i didnt plan to do anything but im glad i took this opportunity to do what I wanted and Ive gained experience. Ive made connections, ive processed the info properly. My brain was a wonderful place to be and i enjoyed every journey it took me on.

My halloween celebration started off with...... going trick or treating with my mom and nala. I only wanted to so that I could spend time with my mom and she enjoyed it. Even though nala kept pulling her and it was scaring me. I woke up with a headache but after I went back home after all that, it got super worse.. Along with the tight wig and itchy costume T-T.... I could not think. I didnt know what i need or what i was doing i just thought about, "ugh i need to get away... idk wat from but i NEED to get away." and so i did... with no thought. So fast forward past the back and fourth, repetitive actions from my headache and ADHD, i finally came to my senses and i ended up at leaderboard. I sat there, backed turned to a line of pinball machines, my face against the dark window. And i waited ...... i waited until my friend that i have never mentioned before, Emily, came to leaderboard. I watched the guy though the reflection of the dark see though glass. I only saw most of his silhouette and i knew he was going to try to talk to me. If i could replay it in my head it would look like a Sim visually thinking. I dont remember what he said but i ended up learning how to play pinball and actually finding it fun for a little bit... and then it became too easy. i got bored. I introduced him to some games that I liked and he paid for one of my games. Im grateful for his act of kindness, it really took me out of a negative tired mood after i had a bad couple of instances before then.

Fast forward.... 3 new people showed up, other than me, Emi, and Xavi. We all planned to go to an abandoned building.... How eventful my night has become ever since.... i smoked a little.. a little as in one small puff from a SKINNY joint. it did help with my fears and anxiety. I could have calmed myself by myself with no helpful drugs but it just made it easier for me. along with calming music. i wouldnt know what id do without my headphones that night. Jimmy.... hes probably the main one in todays writing session. everyone else left the room that i was in and found a spot to sit in a little corner next to a small window. it was a nice little spot. but i found comfort in the area with multiple open windows. it was like a small part of a castle with all the windows open. jimmy spotted me and decided to make small talk with me... he leaned against the window i leaned up against. and he touched my arm. it was nice, but then i remembered how men really think. so i scootched away. i wish i could be comfy with men but unfortunatly from my previous experiences, ive learned that you can never be too safe in the beginning, unless ur aware and open to "it" (it being the gross things that run through a man's mind) and their masculine instincts. if you dont with that person then its okay to leave your guard down. but anyways, after a couple minutes of small talk with jimmy. he asked me "what's your story?" i was surprised. he surprised me twice that night. first being the first thing he says when he saw me was "youre short" lol. but i made him answer his story first because i was genuinly curious. he had a speech impairment so im curious if that influenced his life greatly. ive come to an educated conclusion that is impairment came from his life decisions. the introduction to Fent. I'd like to say, he was both really drunk and really high. i can trust a person when theyre high but when theyre drunk, i dont trust a conversation at times. but this one seemed genuine.

... later he asked me to join the group, i didnt want to but he insisted so i went with him and he made sure wherever i was walking was safe. how kind his soul is. i can tell he was very open to ideas and experiences and he's open to learning. i admire that about humans. i watched the group interact with one another, it made me happy. theyre just humans, like me, enjoying connection in which i feel like i cant make much of a connection with them. they know so much about societal things, like whats up to date, whats trending, they know basic entertainment. i dont. i dont know how to conversate when it comes to topics like that. thats usually how it is, im used to it, i dont mind. it just makes the conversations i am able to have with people more passionate for me. but i walked away for a bit, i wanted to have a look around. what are things that i notice in the area. what history and clues can i get at just by observing the surroundings that strangers left before us.

I noticed the writings, i didnt get much info from it but it was nice to know what they were thinking in that moment. i noticed a bunch of trash in one spot. someone homeless mustve liked to chill here often. then i noticed a bag hanging on something. it was full of trash, but it was clear. i observed it. i wanted to know how long it's sat here but i assumed not very long. if someone likes to sit here i'd guess they'd change their trash every now and then... but then again, these are homeless people we talk about. im not sure how theyre way of living is like so its quite hard to say. i stopped observing and i went back to my comfort spot. i wondered what really happens at night. i hear people singing? communicating, perhaps? im not sure but i closed my eyes and i tried to listen. i saw few homeless people walking back and fourth past the building. 2 people spotted me through the window.... and thats when i noticed one person came from behind the building and walked past the gates, into the property. ---- oh, i'd like to mention i made up a whole plan in my head in case of any danger. the safest possible plan i could think of. i was ready. Then began the fun. it was like a movie. a horror movie. we didnt know all the possibilities of what could happen but we could guess a few. I noticed the panic in everyone, even mine. as cool as i looked as im observing everyones behavior, i heard my heart beating hard in the midst of all of it. One guy, i dont know his name, he stared at the downstairs entrance, rocking back and fourth, one feet behind, one feet in front, like he was ready to charge. I asked him something along the lines of "why are you so scared, its one guy and he could be friendly" i assured him it wasnt a cop and we both agreed that it was someone homeless. he told me "homeless people can be dangerous, they can attack at any moment." i asked him "have you been in a situation like that?" he responed with "ive been in many situations." and that concluded our conversation of the night. almost. i then observed the rest of the group. they decided to start down the stairs. "The guy with the knife in the front." one said. the guy with the light right behind him. i was the observer. i stayed in the back. in case anything didnt go to plan as a group, i wouldve went to my plan B alone. As they got further down the stairs and i lost vision of them, i hurriedly followed them in case the homeless man couldve been silently hiding in corner, if he wanted to attack me, he could, since im the one alone, and im a girl. I didnt want to be the one caught because i was too far behind. Jimmy noticed me and waited for me. How kind he was. Attention is the purest form of generosity they say.. it made me happy but i also had priorities to keep the both of us safe, i kept moving past him and now he was the one catching up. "IF WE SEE YOU, YOUR GETTING JUMPED." one of the guys called out. "idiots... theyre idiots." i whispered to jimmy behind me. I caught up to the group... the front paused and told everyone to be quiet. "Why is the door open" one said. "Is someone there?" our front said. Shuffling. thats all we heard... no response. and we all backed up into a room. in case it was a dead end, i went to the side that goes up the stairs and back to square one. my plan B. same voice who yelled out the threat earlier, "I found an escape!" i heard a few moments later. i walked towards the group, one said to the other, "you have to jump though." JUMP?! i thought in my head. i feared jumping and remembering how high up i was in the building didnt help. i looked down, it wasnt that bad, but still... someone better catch me. T_T Emily :3 it was emily again! i havnt seen her in so long it feels like but shes always there to care for me. she has such a caring heart and she's instictually thinking for others. She's like me. but she has her selfish tendencies when it comes to her "person." Just like me. Thats why i love her but i know i could never be too close to her. As reliable as she is, she can be unexpectedly unreliable. Unreliable because...

(continued below)

[blueeandyellowmakesgreen]

dont mind me im thinking of a moment of similar byler angst from s3 in s5 where will wants to play dnd with mike and the others and is yearning for more time to things go back the way they were, but its reversed.

will being way too focused and stressed on the topic of vecna, trying to see how he can be useful to everyone so he can keep his loved ones safe, using his superspy senses to strategize with el.

mike on the other hand, is not a fan of how will is atm. ok sure hes kind of attractive taking charge and being a hero but no what he didnt like was seeing will constantly stressing himself out and not seeing him laugh or talk about his interests anymore, or the fact will is not confiding in him about things, not anymore. sure, its the end of the world, but seeing will so serious and.. secretive all the time kills him. so he devises a plan for will to stay over his house in the next coming days, but will barely talks, his mind too occupied. will staying up so late trying to devise a plan sleeping over at mike’s house. mike trying to distract him with dnd or games or movies, or try to get him to talk about what he’s going through, but all will could do was nod, or say ‘thats nice, mike’ dismissively. he dodges questions regarding how he felt about the situation. he is clearly putting mike at an arm’s length

and mike finally has enough. mike finally snapping at will and tell him he cant keep being like this or he’ll hurt himself. ‘i thought we agreed we were a team!! why wont you tell me anything, what the hell could i have done to you??’ and he genuinely sounded hurt. will looks like he had an answer but closes his mouth, which mike found more terrifying than any monster they faced. he was doing it again. repressing something. will iust apologizes, says some bullshit on how he’s just ‘trying to keep mike safe’. from what? what could possibly be more dangerous than what theyve faced before?

and it kills mike to know he cant do anything. because, honestly, with how he treated will lately, why would he confide in him? he never sent his letters, and he gave up calling in the fear he’s been replaced. ever since he arrived in cali, all he did was talk about himself and el. he never gave will the time of day. but will despite the rink o mania incident and everything; listened and comforted him without fail. will was so easy to love..and he felt himself too easy to hate.

maybe its too late now to fix things, but mike considers himself too stubborn to simply let go. he was gonna make this right no matter what, even if will ends up hating him. because its mike and will.

it has always been mike and will.

[strangelysamantha]

 crumbled cookies ☆

jj maybank x plus!reader (fem!reader)

warnings: abuse/hitting, hate speech, fat shaming, bullying, insecurities, swearing, fighting, jj’s dad, luke (yikes!) mad jj, mention of pills. 

words: 3,365.

summary: you decide it would be a good surprise to stop by jjs house quickly to drop off some of your homemade cookies, since you believe he isn’t feeling the best. then, unexpectedly jj's dad comes home with an unwelcoming embrace, which ruins the surprise.

request? nope, but requests are open :)

a/n: i randomly thought about this, i obviously don’t believe that us plus size baddies should ever be insecure, but i thought it would be a nice little angst imagine with fluff at the end! if you could, please comment and like if you enjoyed it, thank you! after i write a few requests i will proofread my stories :)

my masterlist

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jj hadn’t answered any of your texts, usually this would worry you, but you understood that sometimes he just needed some space to be alone. you surprisingly were used to this because he always disappeared, and if he genuinely needed you, he knew where to find you. it also wasn’t bothering you because he had only been MIA for a few hours.

you, assuming that jj was just overwhelmed, decided to stay home and bake homemade cookies. jj always complimented your cookies, he loved taste testing them, and more importantly, he loved how you put so much effort into making them perfect, even if you were only making the cookies for him. jj wouldn’t admit it, but he definitely didn’t see you as just a friend. he didn’t know how he viewed you. he was too confused for his own good with his emotions. all he did know was that he depended on you, and that he never wanted to lose you. it would ruin him,  especially if he had done something to intentionally lose and hurt you.

you preheated the oven, excited to use a new cookie flavor for jj. you danced lightly to the music playing in the background of your kitchen, softly humming along as you gathered the dry ingredients, mixing them together. it was a fun little game you guys played, where he’d try and guess what extra ingredients you added that affected the cookie's flavor. he almost always got it wrong, but he was so cute sitting there always trying to guess it right, when he didn’t even know that much about cooking anyway.

unbeknownst to you, you were completely unaware of his feelings, despite the same feelings bubbling in your heart too. jj was your best buddy, and obviously you guys had flirtatious banter but it was nothing too serious. it didn’t help that every girl jj had a one night stand with, was the complete opposite of you. how could he like you, when every girl he fucks was not only skinny, but also rich, and mysterious?

pope wasn’t on your side either. he would always express how nauseated he felt when jj would jokingly flirt with you, and openly play with your feelings. he was quite vocal in scolding you when you would tell him that jj blew you off, or jj had pissed you off. deep down you did agree with pope, he wasn’t wrong.

a beep was heard from the oven as it was fully preheated. you had fully completed the cookie dough, now adding the most important ingredients. you decided to be nicer, and chose an easier flavor for jj to guess. you did this just in case something was seriously wrong he could at least be lifted up for guessing it right. m&ms and hershey’s kisses would be mixed together, creating a chocolate m&m hershey cookie, with added caramel on top. you quickly evenly separate the dough, before placing it in the oven waiting for it to rise.

the timer in the kitchen went off as you pulled the cookies out of the oven, careful to not burn yourself. you stick a knife into the cookie to ensure it was fully cooked before smiling contently to yourself. you let them cool off as you got dressed and prepared to go to jjs house.

you added caramel before sliding four cookies into a ziplock baggie. the cute baggy had a drawn on heart and a nice message for him. you didn’t expect to stay long, and you honestly didn’t even know if he would be home.

when you arrived to jjs house it looked vacant and abandoned. the nerves finally catching up to you as you realize he hasn’t talked to you all day. you knock on the front door, waiting for a response but you are left standing there waiting. you frown before hesitatingly walking down the steps. you look up when you hear a car approach, and a glimmer of hope flashes your mind as you thought it was jj, but instead it was his dad.

your heart was beating fast, and you didn’t know what to do. you waited to see if luke would talk but he just looked at you confused, and obviously annoyed. you shook your head quickly, “i’m so sorry, i was just going to drop these off for jj, but he’s not here so i’ll be on my way.” you smile softly, and start to walk away but his strong arms grab yours. you’re startled since his reaching for your elbow was quite unexpected.

“well you are already here. might as well get it over with.” his voice was unrecognizable as his emotions weren’t clear. you nod shyly. “no really i don’t want to inconvenience you, i can come at another time.” he shakes his head before walking to his door, opening it as the door loosely opens entirely, hitting against the wall to its side. you walk behind him being extra cautious in case he tries to grab you again.

you walk straight to the kitchen to set the bag of cookies on the counter, which was no use since right when you placed the bag, luke had scooped it into his hand reading the note. “oh, so you are the one dating my son?” your face twists in confusion. “no, no. jj and i are just friends.” you laugh awkwardly, swaying from feet to feet. the floors creak beneath you causing you to stop shaking back and forth. “okay good.” his eyes look up and down your figure as his mouth forms into a line. “i wouldn’t want him dating someone like… you.” his words hurt, but you didn’t want to break down in front of him.

you feel uncomfortable under his intense stare so you hurried to put an end to the conversation. “uhm. okay, welll thank you for letting me drop them off, i appreciate it mr. maybank.” you nod softly before he states, “no.” you turn over to him, “no?” you repeat as more of a question. your patience wears thin as you notice the cookies are still in his hand, and he is carefully undoing the ziplock that concealed the cookies.

he pulled a cookie out, before admiring it closely. “chocolate chip m&m caramel cookie. very yummy, very good choice.” you avoid eye contact, trying to focus on anything else displayed in the room. “and it’s still warm.” he stares at you as he takes a bite of the cookie, its crumbs slowly falling from where he sunk his teeth in. “it’s quite good.” you smile softly, “thank you… but-.” he cuts you off completely. “of course you, of all people, would be bringing him cookies. i’m not surprised, i can see you are trying to fatten my son.” his words stung you because this wasn’t what you were expecting. his father seemed intoxicated, and before you could leave it seemed like he still had stuff to say to you.

“yes the cookies are good, but they don’t excuse you for lying to my face. you are just like my ex wife… lying, scheming, going behind my back, but still creating delicious snacks.” you stumble back a little, as shock sets over you. “how did i lie?” you ask, quite confused as you hadn’t even talked to him that much. “i know you’re dating jj! i see his hickies i see that when he leaves this house it’s always to meet with your fat ass.” his words hold no meaning, he was just a lousy drunk taking his anger out on the closest thing to him. you stayed silent, when he suddenly shook his head before grabbing the rest of the cookies and throwing them on the floor, jumping on the bag, completely squishing them.

the once yummy cookies, now downgraded into a small pitiful pile that was brutally smeared against the kitchen's tile. your heart speeds up as his eyes are focused on yours, as if trying to read your emotions. “i’m sorry, but i’m not sure what i did to deserve you ruining my cookies?” your tone comes out sassier than intended which definitely didn’t help your case.

“pick it up.” he threw paper towels towards you, as he waited patiently for you to clean up his mess. you silently obeyed scooping your mutated bakery treat up. you got most of it cleaned, but you ran out of napkins. you bite your lip trying to think of a quick solution to finish picking it up so you could possibly leave, but it’s too late because he’s already grabbing your arm forcing you up. tears stream down your face, while you contemplate your choices.

before you could even register what had just happened, his hand had collided with your cheek, as he screams hurtful comments. “you are good for nothing. i honestly hope that jj didn’t choose you, because if he did, that would make him an embarrassment to this family.” he pushes you to the floor, and you quickly try to stand up so you can leave. you hurry to the door, but he catches you before you could get in your car and drive away. 

“you can't tell anyone about this. i swear if you tell anyone...” his tone is laced with venom and your face scrunches up in confusion. “dont act stupid! god this is why people treat you the way they do.” you look at him one last time before he sends a fast fist to your face, that hits the side of your nose, and your eye. your face begins to pulse as the blood rushes to the quick forming bruise. you couldn't think straight as everything had happened so fast. all you wanted to do was drop off cookies, but somehow you were now being punished just because you resembled this man's wife. your breath is shaky as your tears are starting to slow down, but they are still evident on your cheeks. 

jj’s dad stumbled backwards as if he had finally realized what he had done, before he eventually collapsed on the couch and fell asleep. as he landed on the couch, multiple loose pills fell from his pockets ensuring you that he wasn't mentally in the right place, and he was very obviously intoxicated.

you avoided jj at all costs, which was actually easy since he hadn't even contacted you. you were dreading his routine appearance that was bound to happen soon. you knew it was inevitable, he hasn't missed a nightly check in once, and you had been doing it for months. when you first met the pogues you were slightly scared since you were new in town and you didn't have any friends. so, jj took you under his wing. he quickly became protective over you, which is why he created this elaborate plan to sneak into your bedroom before bed every night. whether it was to just chat, talk about your day, or even just cuddle. you could always expect him at your window at around the same time every night.

usually you would confide in jj, ask for his advice. granted his advice isn't the greatest but it does help that he listens to your problems. not tonight. that wasn't the case. if anything, you wholeheartedly hoped that he would forget, or he would be too busy. he hadn't seen you since before your whole encounter with his father. you wondered if his father had told jj about what he did, and if he did, how did jj react?

you glance at the clock noticing that in the next ten minutes jj would be climbing his way into your window. your body was shaking with nerves as you glanced in the mirror. your black eye was a dead give away that something had happened. could you even tell him the truth? what if you lied, and then he called you out on it saying he already knew about it because his father told him. you contemplated every outcome of the future event that you weren't even ready when he slightly tapped your window. you quickly pulled on sunglasses that easily blocked your eye.

you smile widely, sliding your window up as he gracefully lands on your floor without making a noise, a talent he had perfected. “hey princess!” he has a huge grin on his face, his goofy smile is reason enough as to why you can't break the news to him about what his father did. “hi!” jj pulls you into a hug and you gladly take it. you wrap your arms tightly around his abdomen, as his arms are rubbing your hips. the hug ends and he slowly pulls away, his hands lingering on your hips before he grabs your hand to move to the bed. “do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?” jj asked. you waited, contemplating your choices. “either way is fine, you can choose.” you smile as he immediately gets into the little spoon position.

“hey i forgot to ask you why you are wearing those stupid glasses inside.” he laughs lightly as he reaches for them and you completely jump off the bed, scared he actually grabbed them in time. luckily, you were fast enough and the glasses were still settled on your face. “i have a horrible headache, that's all.” you nodded as his face slowly fell, he stood up, moving to sit on the edge of your bed. he glanced up at you. “we can turn the lights off so it isn't as bright in your room.” you shook your head at his compromise. “princess, i need to see your pretty face before i can declare that you are okay.” you hesitated, trying to piece together a quick story that you could tell him to explain how you wounded up with a gruesome bruise. he wasn't going to leave unless he knew you were okay.

he watched you intently, trying to see what you were hiding. “before i show you please promise me you won't freak out.” you reach for his hands and he grabs them in return, slowly nodding. “no, that's not going to count. please tell me that you won't be angry at me.” his heart swiveled up inside his chest as he heard that you thought he would be mad at you. “i promise that whatever you are about to tell me won't make me upset, and that i could never stay mad at you.” you nodded to his words. “okay so you know what you just said?” he tilted his head confused, “yeah?” you breathe in, trying to calm your nerves. “remember that.”

you hesitantly reach your arm up to expose your once hidden eyes. at first it doesn't register so he stares at you blankly. but the moment he saw it, he was already standing up, and freaking out. “hey you said you wouldn't be mad!” he ran fingers through his blonde hair, his eyes wide. “what the fuck…? i said i wouldn't be mad if YOU did something, i never said anything about not getting mad when it involves someone else!” he looks back at you and immediately investigates your eye. his jaw clenched as he looked above you, his hand gripping your chin. “who the fuck did this to you?” you stayed quiet, until he looked down at you waiting for an answer. 

silence fills the room leaving it eerily silent. “i can't tell you jj,” he laughs, shaking his head, “that's a funny joke, now tell me what happened and who the fuck hit you?” you looked away. “jj there's nothing you can do.” he followed along with your shenanigans. “and why is that?” you couldn't look at him so you looked at the floor. your silence was only making him more worried. “who was it actually? who are you protecting!?” he was getting frustrated. “fine. i'll tell you, only because i know you'll find out sooner or later.” he pulled you onto his lap, one hand holding your thigh, while the other grabbed your curvy hip. you took a deep breath before continuing. “okay. earlier today i baked you cookies and i stopped by your house so i could drop them off. but your dad was there, and i was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. it was my fault. okay?” 

he shook his head, his grip on your thigh tightening. “you're telling me that my father gave you a black eye?” his tone was shockingly low as he absorbed every word you said. “yes. and he stomped on the cookies i made you.” his chest started heaving. “i fucking hate him! everything in my life he has to ruin. you, you mean so fucking much to me, and he’s over here throwing punches at you!” you stayed quiet. “jj?” he looked down at you, trying not to get too worked up because the last thing he wanted to do was scare you, “yes princess?” you hesitated with what you were going to say. you leaned your head to rest onto his shoulder.

“i- okay, i really appreciate you, but i can't have you getting hurt because of me. you're not my boyfriend, and you don't have to protect me anymore. i know you feel obligated with that pact we made when i first moved here, but you don't have to inconvenience yourself by coming over here every night, or by fighting people who harass me, or anything. jj, i feel so bad that you are roped into this position because i never intended for this to happen.” he stays silent, “no way am i leaving you. princess, please throw that thought away right now. i’m here for you always. and i am going to continue to protect you because even if i'm not your boyfriend, that doesn't mean i don't want you safe.”

you are so stunned by his response that your breath gets caught in your throat. “what do you mean?” he smiles looking down, his hands finding themselves comfortable around your hips. “what i'm saying is, that i do want to be your boyfriend. i want people to know how much you mean to me, and i want the whole world to be jealous that i have you, and they can't have you. i want to be the one who protects you. so, if you'd want me too, i'd love to be your boyfriend, if not that is completely okay.” you stared at him, “jj, you'll never know how long i've wanted to do this.” he looks at you confused before your lips connect to his. you run your hand through his hair, while the other hand is sitting on his jaw. his hands hungrily grasp your hips as he pulls you closer to enhance the kiss. you both pull away, smiling.

you asked jj to spend the night with you. he agreed, which resulted in him laying on his back as your head lay still on his chest. one of his hands was always touching you, so he could ensure you weren't going to go anywhere. as you slowly fell asleep beside him, he started to think about what his father had done. with anger clouding his better judgement, he stealthily slipped out your grasp, and climbed out your window, set to fulfil the goal in his head.

eek i hope this was good <333. perhaps a part two...???

[winged-deity]

Hello! I love your blog and was wondering if you could do mcyt headcannons with an autistic reader and gender neutral pronouns? :)

Thank you for your request, and sorry for the delay. I had to do some research, and hopefully this isn't too inaccurate <3

MCYT headcanons

With autistic reader

Dream

He would do his fair share of research, to understand your situation better.

Would be by your side almost constantly, unless you'd tell him otherwise.

Would genuinely be interested and listen when you talked about your interests, and would research the topic so he could talk about it with you.

Would try to courage you to speak for yourself when meeting new people, and otherwise going outside. But if you dont want to, he'll gladly do the talking on your behalf.

If you had sensitivity to lights, he would keep the apartment dimmed at all times, and if you had sensitivity to sound, he would try his hardest to keep it down while recording.

Would genuinely find your body movements cute, and make sure you'd never feel insecure about any of your traits.

Would invite you to the dream smp if you'd be up for it, then make sure everyone knew to not treat you any different but still be wary of your triggers.

Georgenotfound

He would honestly talk to you just like any other friend of his, except he tries to minimize slang words just incase its hard for you to understand.

He would always sit tight and listen whenever you spoke, and would wait patiently for you after asking a question.

If you stim, he tries not to stare in fear of making you feel self conscious, but his heart would literally be melting.

He would genuinely encourage you everyday to follow your dreams, and to not give up. Hes also always by your side to help you cope.

Whether you are just friends or love interests, he would love cuddling with you on lazy days and then teaching you to play minecraft.

He'd love to encourage you to build something on the dream smp, literally anything that could express you as a person and just overall help you with letting out your artistic ideas.

Sapnap

He'd sometimes accidentally end up babying you, and you'd have to remind him that you weren't a child.

He would genuinely be apologetic, and ask you for advice on how he should be around you.

He'd be eager to learn, and while he thought you couldn't hear he'd get into call with the feral boys and just excitedly talk about how excited he is to learn more about you and just really having you around overall.

Would keep you away from streams in fear of people making fun of you, since he'd had similar experiences.

Would make a survival minecraft world for just the two of you, where he'd teach you about the game and just let you build around freely.

If you were very passionate about a certain interest, he'd love to hear you ramble about it for hours on end.

He'd invite you to live with him and dream, and then attempt to modify the living space as comfortable to your liking as possible.

Sorry that this is short, and only the dream team.

I found it genuinely hard to write about this topic, in fear of making it inaccurate or offending someone.

But i do hope you enjoyed it, and the 3rd part to "cursing with uncle bad" is coming in the next week or so!

[theunconcernedembalmer]

ok i got the aesvic out of my system now time to pick apart the letter n why i wont really be following aesops diary exactly here. literally no one asked but i wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere cos i have. a lot

just gonna put a quick rundown of aesops diary entry as a refresher (mostly for myself so i dont miss anything): he dreamt that he was helping jerry with what was probably a murder n was affirmed n he thinks its a sign congratulating him on carrying out his duty. over the years, he carries out his duties as an undertaker n comes to the manor looking for a “fresh start” aka what sounds like his first victim. according to aesop, said victim should be quiet, n potential victim number 1 is victor. something about badly needing him to become his “silent friend” n he mentions he’ll get to wick n the 2 other survivors in due time, but for now he’s very eager to start his “mission”.

im generally okay with the letter (i have seen so many fights over this aha) cos there is no surprise he wants to kill ppl (ppl who r fighting over this point. did u even read his deductions?? guy happily killed his mentor??). but i didnt quite like the fact that he still looks up to jerry (although. i guess thats valid i just. dont like it). i was also initially kind of confused about the real reason why he would want to kill ppl since as u progress through the letter it sounds less like he kills for duty (cos of the whole dream thing at the start) but more “because i want to :)”, which is an okayish edgy kinda take imo. like not that u cant characterize aesop as Kill Kill Murder Die, but i kinda find that. pretty boring in the long term.

im just gonna put what my original take on aesop was, like all of it. first off, he hates jerry. u cannot tell me a psychotic serial killer like that can raise a child without emotional trauma. like any child, this isnt even counting the extra damage done because hes autistic. (n i also hc that aesop has read his moms letter to him at some point, n he should have come to the conclusion that it was somewhat also jerrys fault, whether through logic or denial that his mom would want to leave him, so that just adds to it.) but as much as he hates him, his teachings are the only ones hes been exposed to, n its been so ingrained in him since young so even if he hates jerry he would still subscribe to whatever twisted ideology jerry was feeding him, which ill get to in a sec.

going through his accessories, he has that origami that he folds for each of his clients, n it shows that underneath it all, aesop is still kind. this isnt expected of him n its definitely not part of his job scope as an embalmer. he (still?) has the heart to wish the best for those that have departed n takes the time n effort to fold one for each n every client he sends off, which is probably a lot. so going off on that, my hc is that jerry, being the manipulative asshole that he is (who probably definitely manipulated his mom into indirect suicide) probably used his kindness against him to make him believe that by murdering ppl he is helping them, framing all of his serial kills as a sort of mercy kill (like his mom). so the thing that aesop takes away from all this is the very twisted logic that by killing ppl he is helping them, therefore being a good embalmer and a good person in general. n everyone wants to be a sort of good person, or at least for aesop that is part of his job description to be a good embalmer. n we all know aesop is very serious about his job.

i also hc that he has killed several ppl between killing jerry n coming to the manor, cos i follow the story that he took the invitation from that poor lady n thats how he ended up at the manor. surely the lady didnt come to him right after jerry died?? but anyway, the way i see it is that he thought he liked to kill. like he finally truly understood why jerry kills so much (which is interesting now that i think about it. guy really just went along with all those murders without truly believing huh), because it felt good to kill. at least thats what he thought, the revelation that killing felt good n is good, but i say its because he hated jerry, n offing someone u kinda hate should probably feel pretty gucci. n its also so much easier to pick clients off the streets than in the manor, so i would think that he has killed ppl like his mentor did, but each time he did the great feeling that came with ending ppls life just. wasnt as good as the first time round. it just became a sort of normal satisfaction of a successful embalming.

this can go two ways: 1. he keeps on killing to try to find that great feeling again, which is cool i guess (n probably what canon would want, except canon states that he hasnt killed since jerry), but id like to go with 2. he just stops because jerry isnt around to enforce it whenever he isnt feeling up to psychoing someone to their death (which is probably how jerry got his victims, n damn if that doesnt take a lot of mind games that i dont think aesop has the mental capacity for since half of it is fighting with his social anxiety n other issues. dealing with alive strangers?? no thanks?? i doubt he would have learnt properly how to lure in clients as efficiently as jerry because of this, mostly cos he was only needed for the murder afterparty aka embalming n funerals). n as much as he stays professional, there is no. professional way of gaslighting someone to their death.

(n also since ppl have pointed out that his twitter replies n other kinda informal stuff have shown that aesop does have reverent respect for life, which also adds to him not being so blindly bloodthirsty as implied in the letter. i dont really see the twitter replies as very canon, but it does make sense that he would come to revere life with his unique take and obsession over death, for one cannot exist without the other)

so this leads me to the motive that aesop brings to the manor, at least how i see it. he isnt exactly coming to the manor to kill per se (like from the very early story, he came to the manor to return the letter to a relative of the deceased lady, something about respecting her last wishes. something like that, its really been a while since i saw that exerpt), so like killing ppl isnt his main purpose of visit. its more of hes always on the lookout for weaker (or at least those that take less mind games to kill) people to mercy kill, n it just so happens that he knows the manor n his mentor almost died from there, so theres a pretty good chance he can find some ppl that fall into this category n so it just so happens that he also has a job to do there. its still counted as a Job for him since no ones gonna tell him that embalmers dont actually. murder. 

so in my version, aesop only tries to sway ppl that he knows he can convince, n these ppl would typically be those very sickly ones like his mom (andrew im looking at u) or those with an actual death wish/ very weak will to live. but here aesop is choosing his “first victim”, and the criteria for that is... quiet? never mind “not evading him” and “not cranky” being on the list too, but that isnt quite what i was expecting from someone so dedicated to their duty of murder. sure he wants an easy first kill, but like. i dont think its consistent if his motive was really to continue jerrys bastard legacy. especially when the next paragraph is essentially him gushing over victor, that... sort of implies something else. or at least in the way i see it, since i believe that canon wants us to think that aesop just really loves to kill.

aesop likes victor. very much so. so much till he wants to kill him. which i guess makes sense cos he likes death, n now he likes victor. so he just. puts the two things he likes together. whats better than victor? dead victor. anyway the rest of the letter is more like “whatever, i technically should kill the others too but my priority is victor” so like. he confuses his (dare i say) yandere tendencies with his duty since the end goal for both is a body in a coffin.

having said that. i know i have aesvic brainrot but i also know this is one sided as hell (at least from the letter alone, not counting the letter shaped cookies in his birthday art that apparently belonged to victors birthday cake aha) n lowkey alarming since. the goal is to kill victor. i kinda want to interpret it as him genuinely wanting to be friends with victor (really wanting him to be a “silent friend”, maybe cos he doesnt actually know how to be friends with living ppl n is better with dead ones? therefore victor should be dead to be friends?) but not knowing how to n throwing in his obsession with death ends up with. this minor disaster waiting to happen. but i uh. dont know if this is valid. its valid to me at least, with my original interpretation of aesop. n again cos of his ingrained professionalism, he also kinda sees this as part of his job to send ppl off, so its another plus. not for victor, tho.

idk if ill add this yandere side in my aesop. i mean my boi has technically tried to kill victor multiple times in the past HAHAHAHA. maybe like sometimes he can be a bit obsessive. as a treat. but generally nah cos thats definitely gonna end up in a murder somewhere somehow n i cant. just kill victors here on the ask blog scene lashjflkjhdlfkjhas

so yeah that kinda takes care of the last part of the letter, as for the first part. as much as aesop hates jerry, i would also think hes pretty starved for affirmation (like i said jerry isnt going to be a good parent figure ever) n i guess it makes sense if the only times jerry has ever complimented him was aiding him in his kills n hiding the evidence, which might (?) add to his desire to kill (but that probably dies with jerry aha). so the way i see it as aesop is getting affirmation n takes it as a good sign instead of. remotely liking jerry. idk if im stretching it a little but i really dont like the take where hes okay with jerry. anyway we are ignoring that he hasnt killed before entering the manor cos that doesnt quite make sense to me (i wasnt dreaming about the letter from a lady stabbed in the face 36 times or so right???? right???????)

im also not like. trying to defend him, im just trying to make sense of his diary. boi has issues n is a little too far gone (not as far as canon tho), in my take very deluded in his way of showing kindness. literally cool motive still murder (or in canon, just murder?), please get therapy. but i just dont really like the direction that the letter was originally trying to imply, with him really just hell bent on murder without like. a clear motive (at least to me it isnt very clear since the last part really doesnt sound consistent with his supposed intentions). i mean i love being edgy with aesop every now n then but i dont think it would make for meaningful characterizations in the long run so. ill still be sticking with my original take on aesop with maybe a bit of yandere for victor cos thats always fun

[kurrosaaki]

Sibling anon.

Yesss, megumi tolerates reader more than gojo, and reader encourages his batshit tendencies lmao. They team up on satoru when reader has also had enough of his shennanigans. Most of the time they can just sit in the same area and chill. Make no mistake though readwr sees those self sacrificing tendencies and threatens to burn "idiot" onto megumis uniform.

One time when they were younger they both made a pyre of megumis suspension letters and the readers mail from the Gojo clan. They made hot dogs. Satoru was sad they didnt include him.

Reader couldn't be at the detention center mission cause the Gojo clan kinda twisted the reader's arm. When they learn what happened they're ready to burn something (probably the Gojo gardens, their family is oh so proud of it and the reader thinks itd make good kindling) some of that satoru sadism coming out I see until satoru straddles on up and goes "good news! Yuujis not dead. But I'm only telling you cause youd burn all my sweets if I didnt so pls dont tell the others"

Reader still looks out for megumi, but yuuji really is a fish out of water with all this jujutsu stuff. Plus he thinks their fire is cool instead of something to be suspicious about and that menas...more than reader wants to admit.

Of course, news of reader and sukunas vessel becoming close would make the higher ups panic. Hell it was probably one of the reasons they tried to kill yuuji. Reader apologizes the first time they see him in the basement, and explains when yuuji asks why theyre sorry. Doesn't say their technique is like sukuna's, cquse thatd make yuuji feel bad, but reader says enough about the higher ups already keeping an eye on them.

Sorcerers are all a bunch of idiots as far as sukunas concerned but damn they just keep reaching new heights of stupidity

i literally love it omg. reader and megumi just being absolute menaces in middle school. now i’m just thinking abt them and satoru😭omg

reader would def still be angry at satoru for not telling them yuji was okay right away (they did grieve, it was the worst). would probably burn a hole into one of his ex blindfolds: “this is what you get for not telling me sooner <3”

satoru putting yuji up against reader during his training omg. def sees flashes of satoru fighting jogo while he trains w reader. “wow.” he would definitely think they were so cool after learning they were relayed to satoru, even if they were only cousins.

i wonder if satoru would have told reader about toji since megumi couldn’t care less hmmm. thinking many thoughts.

i cant remember if we’ve alr talked about this but. imagine readers reaction after they learn gojo was sealed. absolutely livid. idk if you’re caught up with the latest chap of the manga but ,, i want them to be just as unhinged as yuta when it comes to taking out kenjaku during the culling games. a forced little break-time between the shibuya incident and the culling games for plot ofc bc i don’t think there was one canonically? i genuinely cannot remember.

yuji comforting reader after satoru was sealed. sukuna just…observing. the tables were finally turned; he watched from eyes that were not his own as you sobbed into the chest of someone that wasn’t quite him. he remembered how he cried to you after your parents were murdered, how you had to keep up a strong façade because that’s exactly what you were; the strong older sibling, the one who never broke down under pressure, who always knew what to say when. now, he was experiencing being in your shoes. it was hard, seeing you so emotionally beaten down and broken.

the gojo clan going IN in reader after satoru gets sealed. yes, they can fend for themselves, but when the one thing that was keeping them from giving reader the complete toji treatment is rendered incapacitated, there was nothing standing in the way of treating reader like literal garbage. imagine how pissed sukuna would be. maybe satoru was useful for something.

[7wanderingpaws]

Simply, yours (8) (M)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre:  family AU, hapkido teacher AU, PhD AU

Word count: 3.8K

Warnings: cursing, mature content, angst

A/N: This one was so easy and fun to write frankly! Thank you so much for letting me know your opinions for the last chap, it motivates me like 1000x more! If you could tell me what you thought about this one as well, it would be nice! Thank you 🎉 And sorry I edited this one, but Im sure there will be typos and sentences that made sense in my head while I edited but they actually dont, apologies! 

Tags:  @milky-baek @itsbaekhyunsbutt  @luvhtears @ shesdreaminginoverdose (if you want to be tagged/untagged let me know! Im always open^^)

-

MASTERLIST

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8

Once again, you entered your apartment in silence, except the few times Baekhyun let out a tired, exasperated sigh. Your phone was blowing up with messages from your boss; honestly, you didn't understand why was he even trying to contact you after everything that happened. By now you knew you wouldn't be able to save your work spot. Not after what Baekhyun did. And here you were, worrying about not telling your darn boss about your pregnancy.

In the safety of your apartment full of love, you were able to feel. The hotness of emotions was coming back to your bloodstream, the numbness from throwing up and the adrenaline of the fight -it was all palpable in fading touches.

This time, it was you who let out a tired sigh, but you felt the burn behind your eyes yet again as you made your way to the bedroom to collect some clean clothes before making a beeline for the bathroom, ignoring Baekhyun's angry expression as you passed by him.

Before you could close the door, he murmured your name in a warning.

“What.”

“You know we need to talk, right?” he snapped, turning to you. He spotted your bloodshot eyes, full of unshed tears and he assumed you weren't seeing him properly. He was right.

You saw him blurry like a modern art painting. Pretty, yet so… unreadable, almost worrying at how you couldn't see to the depths of it. “I know.”

At your terse answer, he clenched his jaw and you blinked, letting the tears roll down your cheeks just to see the tick in his jaw, the set of his chin almost scary. “Go,” he sighed, pushing his hands into the pockets of his dress trousers. “We will talk once you're out of there.”

Without waiting for your response, he turned abruptly but to your surprise, he reached for the front door, swinging it open. You closed your eyes just in time for it to slam shut. And he was gone.

-

Quietly, you took a long shower, thinking he wouldn't be back until… well, until he deemed good to be back. Which could be whenever.

Honestly speaking, you never had such a big, troubling fight before. Never. Yes, you did fight, but he never left you. Not at that hour, anyway. And you were also never pregnant. So this was one of a kind problem you found yourself in, and as you tried not to sob through your entire shower, your mind instead stormed through options you had with what happened.

Except, you had none.

You were out of job.

Your boyfriend, a hapkido master, used violence on your boss.

Your boyfriend could be reported.

You lied to your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend… was mad at you. Livid.

Was this the end of your relationship?

No.

He wouldn't let go of you that easily, and the realisation of that made you sob right then and there. The relationship you two shared was stronger than any of your doubts that were scaring you; it was stronger than any bad word, any bad action, because you two were more than that and your connection was stronger than that. As much as it hurt you that he left without telling you, you knew him well enough to know he would be coming back to you. You knew he would forgive you and he wouldn't break up with you. Not when you were carrying his children. Baekhyun was much, much more than an angry emotion and a protective action.

And you were pregnant with him.

Three kids. Three.

“Fuck,” you sighed as you closed your eyes under the hot water, wanting it to drown out all of  your intruding thoughts. 

If there was an issue you two genuinely had to worry about, it was how you would feed them and yourselves. Would you even survive bearing three children till the end? Would you survive giving birth? You were way past the first trimester which meant you were over the dangerous period, but you knew better than that. Bearing one child was a constant risk. Three? Definitely playing with fire.

Not wanting to create a huge water bill, you reluctantly turned off the shower even though your body screamed for more. Tired and aching, you dried yourself up, not bothering to put on a lotion; smells had been playing with your stomach too much and you literally despised and hated the constant throwing up game.

It was just ten minutes after your shower; you were lying in the bed, tucked in and ready to call it a day, when Baekhyun came back. His timing was perfect and it meant he didn't wander off in the dark streets to let his frustrations out. He probably went for a short walk.

Some shuffling later, he appeared in the doorway, the small lamp next to the mattress you were lying on gently illuminating your tired self. You didn't dare to look at your boyfriend, but you knew you had to do it. He was expecting you to. He was not in the place to beg for forgiveness now. If it was anyone, it was you.

Sighing, you pressed your lips together as you sat up slowly, looking him dead in the eyes; those dark eyes that had still some leftover heavy showers in them.

“Baekhyun,” you started and he kept your gaze daringly, leaning against the doorframe. When he didn't speak, you pursed your lips. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have told you.”

Silence.

“I will need more than that.” Was his cold answer.

“Don't you want to sit down?”

He was quiet for a moment, but then he crossed his arms. You knew better than to test him. When it came to irrational stuff you did, he was using the “I'm older” type of power against you, and you couldn't argue with that. “What did he make you sign?”

Once again, it was quiet. He was burning you with his scorching gaze, and you felt your cheeks heat up in complete embarrassment and self-loathing. But you needed to be honest. “I-I'm not sure if it was in the contract,” you started, trying not to stutter, “but he made me… Ehm, I was not supposed to fall pregnant. In exchange of him promoting me at work.”

As expected, Baekhyun let nothing to be read from his face. “Did you sign the contract and not read what it said?”

Please, make this stop. “Yes. But I really didn't think that-t-that-”

He spoke your name, cold and harsh, obviously upset. “You didn't think what?! Just how irresponsible it is not to read the conditions of a piece of fucking paper that can be used against you, huh?!”

Slowly, you tried to breathe. This was necessary. He had to let it out.

“You could have signed him owning you for all I know! Fucking hell,” he sighed, now running his hand through his hair wildly, turning away from you for a moment before sharply turning back, startling you. “And you just wanted to do it because what- you wanted more money? Is it all about money for you?! Since when did you become so fucking materialistic that you would stand in your own damn dreams!!!”

Tears, tears, tears, and he was completely right. Opening your mouth, he snapped.

“No, don't speak! I don't want to hear it right now! Fuck,” he murmured, and paced in front of you, his jaw set strong. “You weren't even pregnant when it all happened, why would you want to get to more money so badly?!”

“I wanted to provide for us as well!” you shouted back now, but your voice was so shaky you felt like you sounded pathetic. He had to know, though. “We are coming from a low-class background, Baekhyun! Why is it so bad for me to want to do more when I am perfectly able to do so?”

“Because you would have ruined your own dreams while chasing something so artificial!” he shouted back, stepping closer to where you were sitting, but you didn't budge from the sudden movement. “Money was, and money will be! But us creating a family together won't be a forever opportunity! And you were willing to just hang it up for, what, 300.000 won more? Don't be ridiculous! Plus! He is a fucking arsehole! If he isn't touching you up, he is treating you like complete shit; you deserve better than any of this! And if I could have, I would have beaten him up long ago.”

You averted his gaze. His words were driven by his love for you, you knew that much. So as much as you wanted to be offended and hurt, he was hundred percent right. Everything he just threw into your face was correct and you couldn't defend yourself, because he would come at you right away.

“Is this really everything our relationship means to you?” he asked, a bit more quietly, but his tired tone was scarring your heart. You dared to look back at him, to see him staring on the ground, one hand on his hip.

“No,” you said and you cried again, “it isn't and you know it, too.”

“Do you think I am incapable of taking care of us? Of the kids?” he looked at you, huge puppy eyes on full display as he slowly let his guard down. “Because all of this just proves you don't trust me as the breadwinner of this household.”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress your arguments, but ended up going against it. “Baekhyun, we aren't in a situation where I need to stay home, clean and do nothing while you get to earn money as if it was some easy thing to do. I am, and I will continue to work,” you replied resolutely despised tears rolling down your cheeks, “and it isn't you as a breadwinner, but us.”

The society surely was patriarchal, so if you dared to talk to your father in this manner, he would have slapped you. There was no such thing as a woman who got to go against her husband or brother.

Baekhyun, however, wasn't your father or your brother. He wasn't even your husband, and when you saw his troubled look, he finally let himself sink down on the mattress. He was your kind, loving boyfriend. “I already said this,” he started, “but I am not, and I won't keep you inside the house, locked up, while waiting for me to return to you after work. I won't tell you what to do, you know I never did,” he said in a more friendly manner, but it still beared authority. “I respect you as a woman,” he said, speaking your name softly, “and you are my everything.” His hand reached out to caress your cheek that was still wet from your tears. “I need to see you only smiling, happily, but I cannot accept you lying to me like this again. I thought we had been together long enough for us to earn each other's trust, and you going like that behind my back and signing bullshit was nothing but stupid and irresponsible. Especially because your pregnancy was jeopardized like that. You can't be under stress like that, sweetie.”

Hearing him calling you a pet name, you knew the war was over and he finally was on the positive side. His authoritative voice still kept you on edge, so you didn't throw yourself at him just yet.

“If he kicked you out, which I'm pretty much convinced he did, I wouldn't be against you not working until you give birth.”

“Baekhy-”

“Shh, let me speak, honey,” he said quietly and shuffled himself closer, sitting right opposite you cross-legged  as he took your hands in his. “Listen. I know you know it, but having three babies under your heart is a dangerous situation,” he whispered loudly, bringing your intertwined hands to his lips. “It's dangerous especially for you. You are very tired after work, and you come home late and don't get enough rest. Sukyeong even told me you don't always keep up with your meals, and I don't like it one bit.” The way his lips moved against the skin of your hand was soothing you. “Accept that he threw you out, before I file a lawsuit against him for harassing you and making you sign nonsense contracts, and stay home. Find a part-time job instead, but you need to rest, darling.”

“Baekhyun,” you finally spoke and he hummed, as he let your hands fall to his lap. His eyes were now so gentle and full of worry. “I am so sorry. For everything. I shouldn't have done any of that, but please know I did it with good intentions.”

Baekhyun went silent for a bit, analysing your face, your tired features and pale skin, which only reminded him you had been throwing up today and dealing with the situation in the restaurant. Suddenly, he felt so guilty for making you go through all of it in just one evening, (although you were responsible for it, too). Let alone he just shouted at you for good ten minutes. He couldn't even imagine what other things you must have been feeling the past weeks, given how your body was changing day by day. “It's alright, babe, it's alright. I understand. C'mere,” he whispered, opening his arms and you threw yourself at him, making him almost fall back on his back. You snuggled your face into his neck, and he let out a satisfied breath, caressing your back gently. “I'm sorry for shouting at you. But I'm not sorry for punching that idiot. He deserved it.”

You were looking at the skin on his neck and how it disappeared under his shirt that had the first two buttons undone. “Thank you for standing up for me, honey.”

“My baby,” he murmured lovingly into your hair before he gave it a kiss. “My only baby.”

-

You woke up to slow, gentle caresses on your small belly as your shirt was ridden up just a tiny bit, Baekhyun not wanting to wake you just yet. He was behind you, wanting to spoon you as soon as he washed up and fell in bed next to you last night. It didn't take long for both of you to fall asleep, as surprising as that was. The events tired you out, and he wanted you to sleep as much as you could.

He kissed your clothed shoulder before he nosed your neck and buried his face in your hair, while his caresses didn't stop. Letting his eyes close for a moment, he brought his front just a little closer to you, his leg wrapping around yours that were politely connected. His hand absentmindedly wandered further up before going dangerously low, sending shots of pleasure down your core without even paying attention. You knew he would soon realize his effect on you, because you definitely felt like squirming in his hold.

His hand lazily dragged upwards almost touching the underside of your breast when you couldn't keep it in anymore, breathing in sharply just for his hand to stop right under the-

“Oh, I finally have you awake,” he murmured, his husky voice sending another set of chills down your spine.

You couldn't help but smile, happy you woke up to this. The fluid down there was saying something else, though.

“Slept well?” he murmured into your ear, as he continued dragging his hand up. You groaned softly when he groped your breast as he pushed himself even more into you, and you felt it. He was so ready for you.

“Mhm,” you hummed in agreement, enjoying the massage as he proceeded to nibble on your ear from behind, your eyes closed in pleasure. “You?”

“I realised we didn't keep our promise, babygirl.”

Your breath hitched in your throat when your realised what he was implying.

“So, is my beautiful lady still horny enough to go the remaining two rounds?” His voice was so deep, you felt yourself scrunching your eyes shut, the adrenaline quickly making its way into your bloodstream. “We will take it,” he murmured and this time his hand was going down, down, down, the panties the only barrier from his wandering hand as he lifted the hem of them teasingly, testing just how ready you were for him, “very slowly, my dear.”

His fingers played with you just for few seconds before he pushed his middle finger inside, your mouth opening in a silent moan as you leaned back into him.

“It's so early, but you are already like this,” he continued while your head was swimming, his ministrations nothing short of slow, yet so pleasurable, “all for me.”

Your insides were squeezing painfully, and he wasn't moving faster, nor did he have the intentions. “Baekhyun,” you said, trying not to pant too loudly, “I just want you.”

“Hmm? Speak louder, I'm still sleepy.”

“You're such a tease,” you whispered in disbelief before surprising him by reaching behind you to touch him exactly where he needed you. He hissed, his eyes looking at your profile to see the smirk you had on your face.

“I wanted it to be slow, romantic and all of that,” he mumbled before pushing your hand away while he sat up, causing you to fall on your back. As soon as his hand was out of your panties, you felt a pang of frustration before he covered your body with his, his face close to yours as you tried to calm down from him fingering you so sensually.

“I want none of that,” you replied as you grabbed his face for a heated kiss, “I want you inside me, just about now.”

“Needy, naughty…” he muttered with a flirty smirk as he teased you at your opening, causing both of you to groan. “Are you ready, sweetie?” And he still made sure you were okay with him.

“I'm always ready for you,” you whispered, spreading your legs even more for him, as he pushed himself in, your eyes instantly closing in wonderful pleasure only he was able to give you.

He stayed inside, buried and panting into your hot mouth as he rested his forehead on yours. “Sweetheart, open your eyes for me, hm? I love you, you know that?”

“I know that. And I love you, do you know that?” you reciprocated, smiling up at him only to be rewarded with his smiley eyes as he pushed back before diving right in few more times, where he hit your sweet spot. Moaning loudly, he dragged his face to suck on your neck before he took one of your hands, intertwining them with his as he pushed it up above your head.

“I know that. You are my angel,” he said, finishing it with a guttural groan as he felt you pulsing around him, knowing you were about to cross the edge and he was not far behind you.  “Come for me. We have another round,” he breathed before kissing you passionately, messily, moanily.

You mentioned you wanted none of slow. And in the second round, he gave you just that. Baekhyun became ruthless, just before whispering: “Are you riding?” And he was fast to change positions. He helped you straddle him although you definitely had the energy to move and climb by yourself, given your crazy hormonal drive.

“That was just a warm-up session.” He warned, not waiting for you. Your screams, his groans, the heat, it was all so fucking amazing you were left in a complete bliss. You were fast to catch up to him, moving your hips while he was watching from beneath you, eyes dark, glazed over and completely smitten by you.

“You're the best,” you breathed out as you dragged your hands to you breasts, but Baekhyun wanted none of that. He swiftly sat up, his chest almost pressed to yours while you continuously rode him, up and down,  your hands being pushed aside just to be switched with his as he added his sinful lips to the swell of your breasts.

“You're a goddess, mummy,” he muttered, leaving a wet trail on your chest while his hands squeezed and massaged your mounds.

“Baekhyun!” you scolded, and despite the sweat and the delightful pull in your belly approaching yet again, you blushed; the blush definitely caused by his choice of words.

He looked into your eyes, his ones proud and lustful. “It's true,” he muttered, groaning as you sank down exceptionally hard, almost falling onto his sturdy chest. His hands were now squeezing your sides, helping you out, unable to keep the needy touches to himself when you looked so gorgeous like that. He squeezed your arching body to his sweaty chest.

A quick glance at your swollen belly that he made sure you noticed, his hand came to touch against it and you were gone. He caressed you there gently while swallowing your moans as you grabbed his face, kissing him, your hair falling, creating an intimate curtain just around where your mouths were connected. You still had an unearthly energy to help your boyfriend out to his orgasm, not wanting to be in the ecstasy alone, and as much as Baekhyun needed the release, his hands slid across your sides, holding your hips to stop their movement.

“Enough, baby girl,” he whispered into your mouth, leaning back ever so slightly to see your flushed cheeks, sweaty forehead. “I don't want you to hurt yourself.” He was still panting and you swore to god he looked so handsome with his hair glued to his forehead, puffy cheeks. You might have gotten horny again.

“Come with me,” you insisted, attempting to to move again but he bit his lip, a cheeky glint in his eyes, and he held your back tenderly, moving you to lie on your back, while slipping out of you. Hissing, he stood up quickly.

“I'll be right back.”

Trying to calm your breath, you closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling in your aching body. A knowing smile played on your lips; Baekhyun would rather get a cold shower then another orgasm from you, just because he was worried about you. If that wasn't some darn good self-control, you didn't know what it could be.

Just as he promised, he was back soon, a towel in his hands to help you clean up. Once done, he lied back down next to you and you immediately curled up by his chest. “That was amazing.”

“Hmm, you are amazing,” he said. After a little pause, he asked: “You feeling alright?”

“Perfect. But I could go again, you know? You don't have to be so careful with me.”

He snorted as he played with the ends of your hair. “Jeez, you already have my baby! Actually three of them! Slow down, woman.”

You both laughed heartily, and he loved the sound.

“But I want to have youuu, my love,” you whined.

“You have me. You always have me. I'm yours. I'm just simply yours.”

A/N: just to clarify, this isnt the end, we still have quite some things to get through actually - more drama ㅠㅠ! Just didnt want to leave you on a cliffhanger. Hope you liked this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Any feedback is very much appreciated  🥺 🥺

[all-things-mlqc]

Boys reaction to MC who never have date before meeting them. Like, the boys as MC's first love.

My first HC on here and I was memeing half the time while writing it. Included what the boys would do after hearing this news as well because why not. I’m not a Lucien fan but lord have mercy on my soul, I couldn’t help making his romantic af. He is the ideal boyfriend/date minus the l i e s that come in the MS and I hate it. All the crossed out stuff is just commentary because I couldn’t help myself. Hope you enjoy~ Thank you for your ask <3

How the MLQC boys react to being MC’s first love below the cut~

Victor:

Follows with some snarky comment after he calls her “Dummy”.

Let’s be real here, if he doesn’t call her dummy immediately, then something is wrong. Reminds me of when we streamed the first episode of MLQC and we were all yelling “CALL US BAKA” the second Victor came on screen.

While he seems cool and collected on the outside, you can hear the computer shutdown sound play on the inside.

To him, this is a shocking confession.

Victor: I’m not surprised a dummy like you hasn’t been in a serious relationship before.

Victor, internally: How has she never been in a serious relationship before??

He’s not very good at expressing himself honestly through his words but he truly admires MCs hardworking nature.

He finds that very attractive in a woman and is surprised that other men in the line of business haven’t taken their shot with her yet. it’s because they can feel your death stare on the back of their heads, kind sir

One thing he struggles with is being himself. He tries to act like everything is in his control all the time.

Because of this, upon hearing MCs confession, he invites her to a fancy dinner at his penthouse insert Victor’s Dazzling Date because THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. Jkjk haha... unless...

He wants to impress her as much as possible even though he knows deep down that she doesn’t care about what a person has and rather how they are as a person

BUT ALAS. The stress be real for her first boyfriend.

He wants her to know she made a good decision without verbally telling her out of his own bitch mouth I love you, please call me baka so he goes over the top with their first date.

Basically pulls a Mr. Krabs when taking Mrs. Puff on a date. Just add shades to Mr. Krabs to represent Victor’s “I’m calm. I’m chill. I’m all good. We vibin out here.”

All MC wants from him is his honest and genuine thoughts. and a lifetime stock of pudding because good god a girl has chocolate needs

MC eventually figures out Victor’s intentions with all the gifts he rains on her because hE dOesNt nEeD tHeM he can’t give her anything more than a cup of pudding up front

MC knows this and accepts the secret gifts with a smile.

She sends a gift in return to his office the following day along with a thank you for the wonderful date.

Can you hear that? It’s the sound of Victor’s heart rate slowing to the average persons.

Kiro:

insert pikachu meme

This boy is mind blown.

“How have you never been in a relationship before??? That can’t be true!”

Kiro sees the good in everyone, so hearing that MC has never been in a relationship before him is

He gives her a bright smile and playfully hugs her from behind.

The two of them laugh together as he whispers genuinely in her ear,

“I promise to make you happy. You won’t regret it.”

He immediately drags her off to Loveland’s Amusement Park, where they spend the whole day together.

Rides, snacks, games, you name it, they did it all.

Kiro naturally spoils MC without putting much thought to it.

It’s like a reflex for him. It’s just who he is as a person. Always wants to share the happiness in the world with the people he cares about.

As for how anxious he is after hearing the news about being MC’s first love, he is screaming at a pitch only dogs can hear.

Almost 100% of the time he has a smile on his face and even convinces himself that he’s not worried about it.

But he is.

It only hits him when he thinks about another man taking MC away from him after seeing her talking with another guy.

MC will catch him without his carefree smile at times and eventually confronts him about it.

He shows her a wide smile and says there’s nothing to worry about.

L I E S. BABIE LEMME HOLD YOU I PROMISE YOU DONT NEED TO WORRY.

After a few attempts of trying to get Kiro to open up about it, he gives in and says he’s worried he’s not good enough for her HAHAHHA, GOOD ONE KIRO

MC, however, turns it around on him

MC: I’m afraid IM the one who isn’t good enough for you.

They both smile and embrace each other, knowing they’ll get through any little concerns like this.

Gavin:

He knows.

We’re talking about the boy who has been in love with MC since high school; Who has protected her behind the scenes ever since he laid eyes on her.

He would know if she had been in a previous or current relationship.

It only comes as a shock when she says she’s never been interested in anyone else romantically before. Lies. Have you seen the other suitors, MC. In a world where guys are that hot, you must’ve had at least 1 crush, c’mon sis.

Gavin respected her personal boundaries and never looked into her personal affairs so he had very little knowledge of her views on other guys.

He gets a little bit nervous, since he believes her standards must be high if she hasn’t been interested in anyone else before.

Does the full on soldier oath, bend the knee cliche which includes “I promise to always protect you” and “Nobody will ever be good enough for you”

Mc: Gavin no...

Gavin: NOBODY WILL EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

Spoiler alert: You are waayyyyy too good for me, Gavin.

He doesn’t have too much anxiety over the thought of being MC’s first love though since he’s very good at staying true to himself and knows MC is one to admire that about others.

Gavin is a quiet guy in general. He’s more of an observer and watches MC to take note of what she enjoys.

When he sees her eyes shine bright after seeing a delicious dessert cafe, he offers to take her. He makes sure to express how he also wants to go since he knows she won’t accept unless he is interested as well.

Boy literally has no interests the moment he’s with MC. He is essentially that vine

Doesn’t even wait until the question is over and just “Absolutely. Let’s do it”

MC: But I haven’t even said anything yet...

He isn’t much different from how he is now. Has around the same amount of anxiety just from being in MCs presence.

Boy just wants to PROTECC and is always panicking on the inside but tries to remain calm.

He is very good at calming his anxiety though since he’s had so long to understand what MC values and knows she just loves people for themselves.

That’s all he needs.

Lucien:

His eyes widen slightly at MCs confession.

It’s nothing too mind blowing for him since he knows how refined MC is and how dedicated she is to her work.

It’s still surprising to him that nobody has tried to sweep her off her feet yet.

With how kind MC is, it would be hard for her to refuse a date with a gentleman.

Lucien gently presses a kiss to MCs hand upon hearing her confession.

Lucien: I am honored to be given the opportunity TO WOO to take such a beautiful lady out on a date~ AND MORE PLEASE

Lucien is the definition of a gentleman shhhh we aren’t speaking of current chapters in the main route Lucien. Cover your eyes. Pretend you do not see.

With little to no anxiety showing on his face after the reveal that he is MCs first love, he insists on taking her out to a nice restaurant the most classy and romantic 5 star restaurant Loveland City has to offer as a way to thank her for dealing with his bs (both his bullshit and black swan hahaha I’m so funny oml) being given the opportunity to treat her as a beautiful young lady should be treated.

He’s also more on the less anxious side of being MCs first love.

Lucien is a traditional man and does stuff by the book.

Because of this, he respects and likes the idea of being MCs first love.

He doesn’t go over the top yet isn’t cliche with dates and little actions.

He knows exactly what to say and when to say it. Though he may struggle with being openly honest about his own thoughts and feelings, he tries his best to express himself for MC. a lot of the time he just assumes talking to her about his personal affairs would bring her down.

This, however, gets better overtime as they continue to date.

They spend a lovely evening at dinner together and take a midnight stroll through the city oh god city stroll PTSD

He gently wraps his jacket around her bare shoulders with a soft smile as he thanks her once again for believing in him believing he is worthy of her

Bonus:

Shaw:

Shaw, smirking: Is that so?

Oohhhhh you know what that smirk does to me. DOWN BOY D O W N.

He’s surprised but his reaction is very mutual.

His internal thoughts are more on the line of “Hmm I’m her first boyfriend, aye?” and “OYA OYA”

He very likely most definitely places his hand on the wall beside her head and leans in closely to get a reaction from her as he growls,

Shaw: So that means you really like me, yeah? I’m making this way too hot gdi. Shaw stans please enjoy your food

MC looks up to see that same playful smirk resting on his face.

highkey don’t know how to respond because Im just “ok think of 3 things she would probably say and go from there” while my brain just computer error sound

MC: and what about yourself? I’m sure there are tons of girls throwing themselves at you yet you choose me.

He pulls away and places his hands in his pockets with a chuckle.

Shaw: I’ve had my fair share before.

iVe HaD mY fAiR sHarE bEfoRe MY ASS

I’m convinced he’s had one time things with girls purely for information or he isn’t the least bit interested in relationships because he thrives on stimulation and entertainment and nOboDy iS gOoD eNouGh plus he literally asks what people do on dates when taking mc out in his first date in game SO

Either way, this is a LIE. The man can’t relationship for the life of him so he has no RIGHTS to tease her.

Just let him believe or you can try to tease him about it in hopes of getting a little pouty face out of him.

Honestly, their first date would just be the first date we got in the game and nobody can convince me otherwise.

Shaw is a wild child and doesn’t care for romantic dates. at least that’s what he wants you to think

A little insight on his character: He’s very blunt and easily pushes people away all the while keeping them close enough to gather intel. He doesn’t get emotionally attached to anyone and makes sure it’s mutual on both ends. Personal relationships only drag him down, especially in his line of work. He prioritizes other things before relationships which makes him so damn FRUSTRATING BUT I SWEAR I WILL CRACK YOU OPEN LIKE A WALNUT JUST YOU WATCH ME.

With that being said, after actually being in a relationship with MC for a while and opening up about their personal lives more, Shaw can be very romantic. He may be awkward for a bit at first since he literally doesn’t know what a date is but he gets there eventually.

He’s still full of fun but is also very gentle and makes sure MC is enjoying herself.

I got sidetracked with the actual HC on this one but Shaw stans need food I NEED FOOD

[hajimeow-archived]

Yo Hajime talk abt ur kin mems

since there were no specifications on which ones i am going to start from the beginning and go where my brain takes me from there. they're all gonna be for hajime bc i physically cannot think about my other memories anymore jsyk

also! this ended up being so long i had to put a cut. i will not be apologizing because i feel no remorse.

so first the basic stuff, i remember having a med skin tone and a FUCK ton of freckles like those motherfuckers were everywhere i had skin. also i was 5'7 i think?? or 5'6. i still can't remember exactly but it's something like that. i was also alloaro, some form of mlm, unfortunately cis, and autistic and probably had some other stuff like adhd or depression or whatever but i forgot. also i was kinda muscle-y but also chubby at the same time. and i had light green eyes. basically i was fanon hajime JSJSKDJDKS

and i was going over the wiki recently and my personality was EXACTLY how they described it like i'm genuinely surprised they got it so accurate

i don't remember much pre-game and post game, most of my memories are in game but i do remember pre game chiaki really well, honestly i rly miss her :( she would always reassure me that i didn't need a talent and i never even cared when she beat me in games cus just simply playing them with her was so fun .,.,,;:,,...,,!:&:&:jsjdjskskck</3

anyways. in game. ok. i'm gonna skip over memories where i just know feelings and not specific things like strong feelings or ppl saying stuff or else this would be so long. also obvious sdr2 spoilers

so i remember the party & blackout in the beginning of the game pretty clearly. i was mostly just standing alone in the corner and watching everyone have fun, but it was really freeing to see the others able to enjoy themselves in such pressing circumstances. then the blackout-- it was kinda like all that happiness going away and the dread and denial immediately setting in .

anyways i remember like panicking and wanting to cry when i lifted the table cloth cus i really liked twogami. i'm p sure i did end up crying cus i really liked them for their realism and leadership skills, and the realization that one of us killed them and that the killing game was actually real etc etc

anyway i don't remember much from the investigation or trial besides being really freaked out when nagito basically admitted to being the killer n stuff, and pretty much all the body discoveries after that (besides ch 5) we're just like "ah shit here we go again" but i do remember mikans trial really freaking me out when she just straight up shifted completely, and i also remember being really proud of fuyuhiko for putting his walls down a bit and deciding to help everyone out while the despair disease was going around

anyway enough of the boring stuff, i spent basically all my free time with komaeda, chiaki and mikan (in order of frequency) and with mikan i mostly listened to her talk about medical stuff and i comforted her when she needed to vent, but i didn't hang out with her much because the constant apologizing n stuff started to bother me since i really liked seeing her happy. chiaki i would mostly play games with and we wouldn't talk much, but she gave me a really strong sense of familiarity like when we played games together it gave me a shit ton of deja vu

AND i've already talked a lot about komaeda but idc i'm doing it again. so we started talking cus of him waking me up on the beach obvs and i was pretty attached right off the bat, but i stopped talking to him for awhile because the way he acted in the first trial REALLY scared me so i just got a pit in my stomach even being around him

but he was the one who started approaching me first, i'm guessing since he couldn't rly sense anything was wrong he just kinda picked things up where they left off and started talking w me at breakfast n stuff and it was pretty weird at first, but i wanted to give him a chance and didn't wanna be rude so i accepted offers to hang out in his cottage n stuff

i remember he has surgery scars tho and i'm rly mad ppl don't draw him with any!! i think he had about 5 and i don't remember all of them but i know one was a skin graft on his leg and the one on his side/stomach that i touched wassssss for appendix removal maybe???? mmmm i'm not too sure about that one tho

also !!!! his death. hoooooly shit. ok so yunno the despair that junko always talks about ?????? yeah <3!! i remember like once i saw his body and took the reality in i just. straight up could NOT stand i like fell to my knees and jsut . cried. like i had no thoughts my head was so full that it was empty i just kinda sat there and silent cried while chiaki stood next to me it was so awful dude

later while investigating n stuff i felt really bad ab how i treated him and thought about him, and i thought a lot about our last interaction. it was the first time i had ever approached him myself cus usually he'd come to me. i was gonna hang out with chiaki but i wanted to check up on him first, so i did and he told me to go hang out with the others and i just. knew something terrible was about to happen.

OH AND THE FUNHOUSE OMG ok i literally. i usually didn't mind being around komaeda like he was chill most of the time when he wasn't ranting about hope but when he was acting like such a bitch in the funhouse i wanted to punch his stupid twink ass so bad like...... what BUSINESS does this dude have being such an asshole. he doesn't even know what face wash is. what the fuck. which is another fun fact! komaeda did shower every so often which is why he didn't smell that bad but his skin was always so dry cus he didn't know how to actually wash right and do proper skincare so he just washed his face w soap and left it like that

also he didn't need to cut his nails cus they were so brittle they would just break off on their own <3 plus he had a nail biting habit so they just never grew ever

OH AND THIS IS THE SADDEST THING i remember feeling so bad for this man bc i would like put my hand on his shoulder and he would lean into it. i mean i'd tap his shoulder for a SECOND and girl when i let go hed be lowkey so sad i could just sense it like??????dude he needed a hug SSO BAD like when i hugged him in my cuddling memory he was like holding on for dear life but also was like "u dOnT hAvE tO tOuCh TrAsH LiKe mE hAjImE" like dude it was the saddest shit. i want to hug him forever. like what the fuck what the fuck!!!!!!!!!

also a thing hed do when he started ranting ab hope n shit like he would just go on and on and yunno that one sprite where he's hugging himself yeah he literally did that shit. also sometimes hed just stare dead at me and start backing me into a corner ((ish-- we were usually sitting somewhere but he mostly just got super close to me) and it was the scariest shit i. bro if i saw him like that on the streets i'd return him to the mental hospital like i can remember it somewhat vividly and that shit was TERRIFYING i mean obvs after i shoved him away and told him to cool it he'd apologize and go back to the way he was but jeez dude ....

also a little fun fact the only reason i really kept hanging out with him (i had a few ofc but this was the most prominent) is cus he was hot in my stupid monkey brain. yes that's it. like that's literally pretty much it. i hate admitting it but this post is SO fucking long i doubt anyone's gonna read it anyway so i'm admitting it now lol

anyway i hope u enjoyed :) i'm glad u asked btw! i'm sure you regret it though!