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ceesimz · 12 days ago

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matters of the heart

the first time dealing with Alexia after a loss doesn't go how you expect. (angst -> comfort/fluff)

There was something that one of Alexia’s friends had said to you, a passing comment in a conversation that was probably meant as a joke, which you had forgotten about entirely. Until it suddenly became the most relevant information of your life one evening, maybe even the statement that your whole relationship rode on like a lifeline.

“Hey, Ale.” You started softly once your relatively new girlfriend had answered your call. She was hundreds of miles away in another country in Europe, having just lost a game that none of the Barcelona players could have expected. You didn’t get more than a grunt as a greeting. “How are you?”

“What question is that.” The blonde scoffed quietly, speaking to you with a harshness that you had never been on the receiving end of before. “I feel like shit. I’m embarrassed and sick to my stomach with anger, how’s that?”

“O-okay.” You replied with a frown, caught off-guard by her unfamiliar behaviour and entirely unsure where to go from here.

‘Alexia always takes defeats personally, I wouldn’t go near her if I was paid to after she loses.’

“Sorry. I do not mean to be so… rude.” She sighed, though the apology sounded rather forced and not really that genuine.

“It’s okay. You’re allowed to be annoyed, it was a hard game.” You smiled sadly. She was silent on the other side of the line, using up all her defiance to not scoff at your empty words. In the moment of quiet, you could hear the distant sounds of cars passing by. “Where are you?”

“The balcony. Won’t sleep tonight and I don’t want to get into bed yet.” All her replies were blunt and curt, it already felt like you were fighting a losing battle. But you did what you thought you should do, what every good girlfriend would do in the same situation, and carried on.

“I can stay on the phone with you if you’d like tonight. We can talk until you get tired, you don’t have to sit outside in the cold alone all night. It’ll make you feel worse.”

The conversation continued in much the same way, with you saying things and hardly receiving more than a sentence at a time from Alexia. When your patience couldn’t handle it much longer, you moved onto different topics, discussing your day and your friends and your family, thinking it might be helping her.

In this situation, you felt like a fish out of water. Football was an entirely different world than yours, you would never know what it was like to lose such a high profile game like the one Alexia was so distraught over, so you really had no idea what to do. All you could do was try and hope your efforts were appreciated.

They weren’t. You were fighting a losing battle and had been from the second you decided to call her.

“I’m so sorry about the result tonight.” You said after there was yet another awkward silence. Maybe you should have hung up already, put her out of her misery that this phone call was, but the idea that Alexia was sitting alone and going over how much she loathed herself and the world in that moment wasn’t something you were comfortable with.

“Yeah, well, we deserved it. I deserved it. I had no awareness, my decision making was too slow, my passes were terrible. The way we played today, we should have all three European titles taken from us.”

You hadn’t been together all that long, but you had never once heard her speak with such… vitriol before. She spat her words out like they disgusted her to utter them, each sentence laced with heavy disdain, almost entirely directed at herself.

Almost.

“A loss isn’t a failure, Ale. Everything happens for a reason.”

She laughed at your words, a spiteful and venomous sound that was so sharp, it spiked a feeling of anxiety within you. However, it paled in comparison to what she did next.

“Everything happens for a reason, hm? You really believe that?” The blonde tutted and muttered in Catalan under her breath. Just as you went to reply, to back up your point and try to talk her down from the mountain of loathing she found herself on, she cut you off. “That is a stupid thing to say. It’s not true, it’s bullshit. A pathetic, empty bit of encouragement that works as well as a slap to the face. What do you want me to do with that? You, you think that will help me process this loss? To get over it so you can have me in a better mood, where I’m not complaining and being depressing about a football game? The most important thing in my life?”

The most important thing in her life. Football. You already knew that, but it didn’t make it any less difficult to hear her actually admit it.

“I didn’t mean t-” Your attempt to defend yourself from the fire of shame raging inside of her was futile. She didn’t care about anything except the fury coursing through her veins.

“This is so stupid. There is no good that comes from losing like we did today, it was a failure. I’m done with this, I’m going to bed.”

The tone that sounded after she hung up circled through your mind as you sat there, frozen, with your phone still at your ear.

If you were clueless beforehand, it was nothing compared to now. In a slight daze, your head spinning from the conversation that had just occurred, you pressed onto Alexia’s contact again. This time only to send a few messages. All of which went unread, and would for the rest of the night.

You went about your evening absentmindedly afterwards, a strange floating, mindless feeling consuming you. You weren’t entirely sure if you had just witnessed the end of your relationship or not. That thought set you off spiralling, yet you weren’t present in your overthinking. It happened without your knowledge, like you were merely a passenger to the kamikaze journey your anxiety sent you on.

You made dinner, but you didn’t remember doing so. You changed your bedsheets, you don’t remember picking the set you put on. You brushed your teeth and did your skincare, you got into bed unsure if you’d washed it all off or not. You sent more texts to Alexia, though this time with the absence of two blue ticks under your message engraved onto your eyelids. You fell asleep, and you remember the distinct lack of love in your heart as you did so.

—

Every member of the team woke up the next day feeling worse for wear after the gruelling game and hard-to-take loss the day before, but everybody noticed how truly broken Alexia was. Nobody dared to approach her and ask how she was, the headphones glued to her ears more than enough warning for people to keep their distance.

She was, very clearly, disconnected from her life. Stuck in her own mind, rehashing every fuck-up she had made and what lecture to give to her own team when they trained the next day. They feared her and the venom on her tongue, waiting to be unleashed upon the first person that might breathe too loudly in her vicinity.

Not one of them knew her first victim was her own girlfriend.

You did though, of course. But nobody else, not your friends, family, or even Alexia's family. Instead, you had to carry the burden of being your girlfriend's burden around on your own.

By the sounds of it, you were nothing but a distraction. Just another thing on her very hectic plate that she had to worry about. Answering your call the night before was merely a chore for her. And that stung.

From your very first date with her, when you initially learnt about her job and the chaos it entailed, you made it known that you would be there for her when she needed it. However, you also said, which Alexia frowned at and vehemently denied, that if the relationship was ever putting strain on her, you would rather she end it than carry on unhappily.

Since she didn't agree back then, you wished for nothing more than for her to end it before she hated you anymore. All night long, you considered doing it for her... but you were known for making some brash decisions whilst stuck in a spiral of overthinking, so you hung on a little longer. Thank god that you did.

It wasn't easy, not in the slightest. Sometimes, things get harder before they get easier.

Alexia's fury heightened infinitely when she got back to her apartment to find it empty. It lacked you. The pair of you agreed that you would be there to greet her when she got back to Barcelona, win, lose, or draw. What she didn't comprehend, when she realised you weren't there, was that she wasn't angry, she was mentally exhausted. From the match, the hangover of the horrors of the Olympics in the summer and that scarring penalty miss, from the argument the previous night, from everything in her life, personal and professional. Whether she could admit it to herself or not, you not being there when she needed you the most was unknowingly the catalyst to her breaking down.

It came a little delayed though; she was overwhelmed with her feelings, an experience she never coped well with, and she didn't know what to do with them all. So, she did what she did best, and shut herself off from everybody around her.

Or, at least, she tried.

For both of you, the couple days that followed were a blur. Alexia returned to training the next day, and you went to work. You continued with your lives as if the other never even existed. It was radio silence between you. Not one text, one call, nothing.

Alexia, ashamed of her actions and not brave enough to admit the full extent of the turmoil she was going through. You, embarrassed by your efforts and afraid that getting in touch with her would result in much the same way it did a few nights prior. No part of you was ready to hear her definitively and the relationship, even though that wasn't the case at all, so not talking to her at all was, in your honest (and wrong) opinion, the only feasible option.

Listening to her reveal that you weren't part of her future was something you'd always feared. Being with Alexia had been so different to any other relationship you’d been in, and that’s because she was unlike anyone you had ever come across. The moment you met her eye as you walked into the restaurant on that first date, where she looked so excited and enamoured by the sight of you even from afar, you were certain she was the one. And she proved that by being an exemplary partner, if not more, each and every day you had been together so far.

You could be your complete, authentic self in her presence, something you had never felt comfortable doing in past relationships. Being without her for a few days, you were lost. You didn’t know what to do, didn’t know where this left you both, where to go from here. You didn’t know if things could be recovered or not.

But, some miles away in the same city, there was a certain Spaniard that loathed herself for treating you in such a way. The hate she felt, it was more than what she’d feel after missing a penalty or having a poor game or when she got injured. This was incomparable to anything she had ever experienced, because of you. She had pushed you away when she needed you most- perhaps the most idiotic thing she could ever do.

All the emotions running rampant through her nervous system went a lot deeper than one loss. It was an amalgamation of so many things, and instead of handling them like an adult, like the role model everybody thought of her as, she let everything build up until it became too much to control. It was wreckless of her, completely and utterly wreckless. And careless.

For the first day or two of training after the game that caused all this, everyone at the club could tell there was something not quite right with her. But, given the result, they gave her space, knowing she would bounce back with somehow more determination than she’d ever had before. The only thing is, that didn’t happen.

Day three passed, she was still not herself. And on day four, none of them could take it anymore, they just didn’t know where to start. Out of everybody on the team, there was only one person who could talk some sense into her. That person just didn’t expect the sight she’d walk in on after coming back to the locker room once she had finished her lunch.

“Ale?”

The blonde flinched slightly at the unexpected voice where she was sat at her cubby, head deep in her phone. Irene stood at the door, concern evident on her face as Alexia sniffled and hastily brushed away the tears on her face. On her screen, your contact, your chat. Her fingers found themselves hovering over the keyboard, not knowing where on earth to start to reach out to you again, and she dropped the device to the bench below her in defeat when her friend walked in.

“What is up with you, hm? You are not quite right.” Irene stated gently, making her way over and sitting beside Alexia.

“Some things.” Alexia replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes when Irene scoffed lightly, knowing she couldn’t escape the incoming, persistent pressing.

“Come on. It cannot be the loss the other day, it doesn’t affect you for this long.” The taller woman said, putting a hand on Alexia’s shoulder and squeezing reassuringly.

“I just… everything is so much, all the time. I don’t really know what to do with it all.” Alexia began with a sigh, her hand falling to the dainty gold bracelet on her left wrist you had bought her only a few weeks ago that had been glued to her wrist ever since. “And I have ruined my relationship.”

“What? No, I am sure you haven’t, Ale, you-”

“Trust me, I have.” She laughed in spite of herself, shaking her head in disappointment that was aimed entirely at herself.

“Well, what happened?” Irene questioned with a frown. Alexia sighed, again, and she slumped forward a little so that her elbows were on her knees and her head was in her hands.

After that, she relayed everything that had happened during the past few days to Irene. Her friend sat there with no judgement, listening intently to every detail Alexia told her. The midfielder couldn’t help it, whenever Irene checked in with her, it took very little for it all to come spilling out. Irene was wise, always had been, and had always been a shoulder to cry on for the younger Spaniard. Her advice was something Alexia treasured, as well as her ability at never failing to knock some sense into her. This occasion was just another example of that.

“You just have to talk to her. She is probably upset at how she couldn’t help you more than being angry at your attitude. She will not be too happy about that too, obviously, but you know her well and I know her a little, but enough to know that about her. She is smart, and loves you. All you need to do is let her know you love her too, through anything because I know you do, and apologise. Say how you really feel, the rest will follow.”

It might be obvious advice, but to Alexia, there’s too much anxiety for her to think clearly. She doubted herself too much, fully believed there wasn’t any way for her to come back. So, what did she do after her chat with Irene?

Nothing.

Until late that night, when you were already in bed, eyelids drooping shut as tears still escaped and dampened your pillow.

One thing, the only thing, that Alexia wished she could change about you was the way you thought of yourself. That had been something that tore her heart a little to hear, especially so early on when you tried to get her to promise to break up if things got too tough for her. From the way you spoke about yourself, how you made it sound like you were only a small part of her life, you would force her to choose football over you if it came down to it. She wouldn’t stand for it. She'd sooner be six feet under than break up with you.

You believed you were just an add-on to her life, the latter not being affected by you coming or going. If you left, you knew she'd have a million other things to keep her company, keep her distracted. Or, the next person in the queue would slip into her bed and, subsequently, into Alexia's world as a whole. It'd be as if you'd never existed in the first place. And Alexia hated nothing more on earth than that knot of insecurity you had.

You were so much more than just an add-on, you were the other half of her. In her previous relationships, she didn’t think of her and whoever she was with as one single thing. There was her, and her partner. She loved them, maybe, and she liked spending time together. But when it came to life decisions and future plans, she still always thought of… just herself. She put herself first, decided everything to do with her life, solely for her own good. Then you came along.

The second she realised that she factored you into everything she did, whether that be picking up dinner on the way home or looking for a new apartment, that’s when she knew you were the one. It had happened naturally, without her even noticing, until one night she was on the plane back from the USA in the summer, flicking through photos of a flat that her sister had sent her, when she wondered to herself if you’d like it too.

She knew the side of you that could overthink and ruminate on every little thing and roll it like a snowball on the ground into something much bigger, and in the end the guilt she felt knowing that you were most likely at home, alone, doing exactly that? It was enough to convince her to head over, hours after she should have when she got home from training earlier.

It was midnight when she pulled up outside your apartment complex with a bit of haphazard and slightly illegal parking. Her head wasn’t exactly the clearest, and she probably shouldn’t have driven when her eyes were glossy with tears and her hands shook so much she could barely muster the strength to open her car door, but she did, for you. The janitor inside, should he have cared for his job more, might have been concerned at such a sight if he wasn’t clocking off only five minutes after Alexia walked in. Whatever would happen once she reached her destination after spamming the elevator button, simply wasn’t his responsibility.

You had given her a spare key to your apartment not so long after getting together, as she had to you. So with a quiet knock on your door that went unanswered, she unlocked it and entered. The lights were off, only the low hum of the AC sounding through the otherwise silent apartment, and so she headed towards your bedroom.

Fortunately, when she stepped into your bedroom without so much a creak of the floorboards or the click of the door handle as it shut behind her, she saw the outline of you under the covers, facing away from her, sleeping.

It might not have been the smartest idea she’d ever had, maybe you would kill her for it in the morning, but nevertheless, she gave into her temptations. She slipped her shoes off, leaving them out of the way like you would always beg her to do, and cautiously climbed into bed beside you. In the dark, she couldn’t see the redness to your face or your puffy eyes or the empty pack of tissues on the bedside table. Instead, none the wiser to your feelings and whether you would be angrier than ever at her for such a choice, she shuffled up behind you and wrapped a tentative arm around your torso.

To her surprise, you covered her hand on your stomach with your own, though she wasn’t sure if it was an automatic reaction or not. You had stirred a little, though mostly clouded with sleep that tried tugging you under again.

“Didn’t know when I’d get to see you again.” You murmured, words slightly slurred. Alexia had to squeeze her eyes shut to will away the tears that tried to force their way out, and chose to shuffle closer so that she could kiss the back of your neck in apology.

“I’m sorry. For everything.” She whispered, voice cracking in the middle of the last word.

“I missed you.” You frowned, Alexia could hear it when you spoke.

“I missed you too. But go to sleep, we can talk in the morning. We both need rest.” She said quietly. You nodded, and that was that.

Rather unexpectedly, the pair of you slept rather well. Being back in each other’s company was as relieving mentally as it apparently was physically, allowing you both to get more rest when together. Though, as you woke up and found Alexia already awake beside you, it wasn’t long before the strange feeling of bliss gave way for the anxiety you knew would come sooner than later.

She was on her side, whereas you were on your back, and there was a sleepy but worried expression on her face. You knew the conversation about to be had was necessary, didn’t mean you hated it any less. The situation that faced you both was discomforting, there were certain to be words you didn’t want to hear, and all kinds of outcomes to it.

In anxious anticipation, you sat up, back against the headboard and knees against your chest with your arms resting atop them. Alexia decided to sit up too, though turned to face you with her legs crossed. It was quiet, awkwardly quiet, for some time, before the blonde spoke first, which you were glad for.

“I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. Especially when you were just trying to help.” She began. It wasn’t much, but it was a good start. “I appreciated that you wanted to make me feel better. But I don’t think anyone could have gotten through to me then.”

She fell silent, hoping you’d take your turn to talk then, to give her a chance to catch a glimpse of your true feelings. Communication went both ways, so you complied.

“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me that though. If I’d have known that ringing you would have made you feel worse, I wouldn’t have done it in the first place.” The insecurities you felt under the surface came through so clearly in your voice. Alexia frowned upon hearing your reply, desperately scrambling for a way to explain the point she wanted to make.

“I think you did make me feel better. And I know, I promise I know, that I did not show that. But… I needed you. I didn’t realise it and I wish I could change that, I am really sorry I didn’t see it, I just… haven’t had someone there for me like you when I have lost. I’m not used to it but now I know how to navigate it. I am sorry you got hurt along the way of me discovering that.” The furrow to her brow deepened, so much so you were sure there’d be lines left there permanently long after this conversation had finished, but you couldn’t focus on that once you saw the first tear slide down her cheek. She had her eyes focused on the cuff of her joggers, her fingers tracing the stitching. “I regret it. Because I know how it must have made you feel. I always want you to… to feel important, a-and I know I failed that this time. I’m sorry.”

At the sight and the sound of her getting so clearly upset by the situation, you felt yourself getting just as worked up too. Though, despite those feelings, one which was slowly becoming more prominent was relief. As the conversation continued, you slowly began to realise that this was just an argument, and you two would make it out of it. The doubts were being broken down, one by one, by the emotionally intelligent woman in front of you… even if it took a little while for that intelligence to come to light.

You reached out for her hand that was fidgeting with her trousers, and it caused her to look up. Just as she did, another tear fell from her eye, and you shuffled closer and copied her position so that you could wipe away that single tear before it hit the sheets below.

“These days without you have been… awful, but I think it helped us to work through what we felt. Maybe it helped us to… recognise what is most important to us.” You stated, which Alexia nodded affirmatively to. “How you spoke to me and treated me, it really did hurt me. I forgive you, though.”

Her eyes widened a little, definitely not expecting to hear those words so soon.

“You do?” She mumbled hopefully, sounding like a small child in the way she asked.

“I do. You were honest and you opened up. You didn’t say any excuses, I can see you didn’t mean any of it. It’s not all magically gone, but I’m not upset or angry with you.” The blonde closed her eyes and you weren’t exactly sure if the breath that came from her was a relieved sigh or a choked sob, but it didn’t matter because you knew then, by her reaction, that you would move past this bump in the road for definite.

“I didn’t mean a word I said. I really needed you and I hate that I didn’t realise that until too late. I swear, it won’t happen again, and if I could go b-”

“I know, I know.” You shushed her gently, leaning forward and wrapping your arms around her shoulders to bring her in for a much needed embrace. “It’s not too late, Ale. It’s not too late.”

“D-dios, I r-really love you.” You knew then that she was crying, burying her face into your neck and letting out all the emotions she’d kept stored up inside of her since that stupid game that caused all this.

For some time, you weren’t sure how long, you held her as she released everything pent up, one hand at some point having slipped down to her back and rubbing up and down comfortingly. You got just as much out of the hug as she did, except you’d already exerted almost all the tears you had, so you stayed there with her arms loosely around your back with your eyes closed and took time to relish in the feeling of her again.

Eventually, she slowed down to quiet sniffles, and she leaned back though kept her hands on your waist so that she could look at you.

“You are the most important thing to me, more than football, more than a win or a loss or a draw, more than anything. I will make sure you know that. I will.” She said firmly, looking into your eyes with a determination you knew you’d be wrong to doubt. There was, however, one more thing you needed to get off your chest.

“Ale, football isn’t my world. I don’t know what you need yet after a disappointing match, I need you to help me figure that out so I can be exactly what you need.” In an instant, she was nodding, her thumbs stroking up and down against the material of your shirt against your sides.

“Of course. Of course. I will help, I will try.” The blonde responded, and finally, this terrible blip was done with. You could look ahead at the future now, but not without soaking up the missed presence of the other before reluctantly facing the world again.

“Thank you.” You whispered, leaning your forehead against hers. Her hands raised to your cheeks then, and she tilted her chin up so that she could kiss your temple, then the space between your eyebrows, then your nose, and lastly, leaving a soft and unhurried kiss to your lips. It was a gesture that sealed this slightly unwanted but somewhat needed milestone off.

Obstacles occur in relationships, they’re quite common. How you come back from them, as a couple, is the defining factor in being able to move forward, or falling apart. In this instance, the pair of you stumbled at first but in the end, you flourished in working it out together, with respect, with decency, with love. The silver lining of it was that you both gained a surefire belief that you could make it through anything, as long as you had each other’s back.

The most important part of any relationship is trying your best to learn about the person you love. It won’t always be perfect, but as long as you’re trying, that’s all that matters.

—

look i mostly hate this and i've been writing it on and off since october (that game) and i am sooooo bad at writing this stuff so this is like a filler fic and a weight off my shoulders but be excited for more soon!! thanks for putting up with my bs☺️🧡

#alexia putellas x reader #woso x reader #alexia putellas #woso #woso community #woso imagine #woso fic

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sarahghetti · 1 year ago

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can you pretend to be my boyfriend?; m.k.

pairing: marc spector x reader, steven grant x reader, jake lockley x reader

summary: the boys pretend to be your boyfriend in order to save you from a creepy stranger.

warnings: inappropriate behaviour towards the reader, female!reader.

moon knight masterlist | all masterlists

steven

you lean over the gift shop counter, eyes wide as you ask, “can you pretend to be my boyfriend?”

poor steven is just confused at first.

“pretend to be—wait, what do you mean—?”

he doesn’t get a chance to finish that thought because the man who’s been trying to flirt with you all day suddenly rounds the corner, and you’re out of time.

“there you are!” a smarmy grin, eyes looking you up and down. it makes your skin crawl. “I was worried that you might’ve left before I could get a chance to talk to you again.”

“yeah, wouldn’t want that, now, would we?” you mutter.

it clicks in steven’s brain then, though not exactly fast enough for him to come up with a retort other than, “right, yeah, right.”

the man’s attention doesn’t waver from you, however, and you squirm on the spot. time for a hail mary, you suppose, turning back to steven. “are we still good for lunch, babe?”

“oh, yes, lunch—right, of course, love,” steven nods, more confident. “I just need to finish up some last things here, if you’re willing to wait a bit?”

you’re ready to say no worries, take all the time you need when the guy scoffs, barely sparing steven a glance. “a sales clerk? really?”

“better than the wet tissue you are, bruv,” steven snaps back, so fast that he surprises himself a little. something simmers under the man’s expression, but steven’s faster. “do I need to call security?”

that finally gets to the guy, who just mutters curses under his breath before finally pissing off. your smile is genuine now when you look at steven. “thanks for that.”

“no worries—are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” you nod. “don’t suppose you’re actually free right now, are you? the least I could do is buy you lunch as thanks.”

luckily for the both of you, he is, and he rounds the counter with a wide smile on his face before you lead the two of you out.

marc

he’s just waiting to place his order at a coffee shop when you walk in, some guy hot on your heels and prattling on despite your obvious discomfort.

“oh, hey, babe!” he doesn’t even realize you’re calling out to him until he meets your gaze, and the pleading look in your eyes is all he needs to understand what’s going on. “sorry I’m late.”

“it’s all good.” marc knows the drill, injecting warmth into his smile as he walks up to greet you. he gives you a small nod, letting you know that he’s got your back as he slips his hand into yours. “was worried about you for a minute there.”

“wait, are you two…?” the man looks between you, eyebrows furrowed.

“mhm.” he keeps his tone light, but is secretly watching like a hawk for any signs of escalation. when the guy’s mouth twists into a scowl, marc subtly tugs you behind him.

“you never said you had a boyfriend.” the venom in the words is terrifying, but marc doesn’t flinch.

“no need to cause a scene, man,” he says, tone amicable, but you take a peek at his face and his expression is as hard as stone. “now, if you’ll excuse us.”

marc leads you back into the line to order, squeezing your hand gently to stop you from looking over your shoulder. there’s the heavy stomping of feet before you hear the bell ring over the door as the guy leaves.

the relief is palpable. you finally let go of marc’s hand, face warm as you smile sheepishly at him. “thanks for the help. let me buy you a coffee?”

“don’t worry about it.” he shakes his head, but you offer again and, well, if you insist. he doesn’t mind spending the rest of his afternoon with you at all.

jake

he’s the one to notice your discomfort from across the pub, how you subtly shift away from the man leaning in close to speak directly into your ear.

when you meet his eyes, you mouth, help? and jake doesn’t even think twice before downing the rest of his drink and making his way to your table. he slaps a hand down onto the guy’s shoulder, making him jump. “think you’re in my seat, hombre.”

the man’s greasy smirk twitches, obviously thinking that jake is interrupting his ‘game’ or whatever the fuck. “nah, man, I’m just—”

“trying to hit on my girl, yeah, I can see that.” jake grins at him, but you get the impression that he’s baring his teeth more than anything. he looks to you, and his gaze softens. “you okay, there, baby?”

“better now,” you say, and it’s not a lie.

the guy turns to jake fully, sizing him up. “you think you’re so tough, huh?”

jake doesn’t even blink, just raises a single eyebrow as if daring for him to suggest taking the matter outside. it’s not even a competition, because the man backs off a moment later, angrily slipping out of the booth without looking back.

you don’t breathe until the guy finally leaves the building, at which point a heavy sigh falls from your lips.

“the nerve of that guy,” jake mutters, clicking his tongue.

“right?” you shake your head, then gesture to the now-vacant seat beside you. “care for a drink? I think I owe you after your help back there.”

“you owe me nothing,” he corrects, but slides in beside you anyways, taking your offer with a smile.

#moon knight x reader #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #jake lockley x reader #moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #moon knight fanfic #my writing

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aurumalatus · 3 months ago

Text

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄

pairing. kinich x fem!reader

word count. 1.6k

genre/warnings. pixelprincess!au (princess!reader x knight!kinich), slight angst, they are pining as fuck

summary.

on the edge of war, you and kinich face your unresolved tension and forge new promises for the path ahead.

author's note. the new aq quest had me fucking screaming. i feel my kinich love renewed. he will never leave my blood (i hate him but i love him), unedited for now. reblogs/interaction highly appreciated!!

𝐩𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐚𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

As the Night Warden Wars loom, you find Kinich in the armory in the late hours of the night.

He’s been avoiding you, you know; when you happen to meet in the castle halls, he bows his head as you walk past, unwilling to meet your gaze. The other guards get assigned to you more often now in his stead, pity in their wandering eyes—they’re fully aware of the tension between you and your personal guard. You try your best to ignore it, even when the maids pull you into hugs without explanation and your mother grows more overbearing, always asking if you’re feeling alright.

And, truth be told, you’re not.

Kinich’s insistence to participate in the war worries you to no end. He’s been more reckless lately, taking duties overnight, eyebags growing heavy with exhaustion. He’s trying to distract himself, but from what, you don’t know.

It’s not that you don’t trust his strength, or even that you want him home to protect you. It’s because you want him to come home to you—period.

He looks you over, gaze pausing over the bandages wrapping your arm. It seems to pain him, even now—his jaw tightens at the sight.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

You lean against the wall, arms crossed. “Neither should you.”

The air feels thick in your lungs. It’s a far cry from your typical interaction, when you’re giggling and he’s rolling his eyes, lighthearted. Now, a frost crawls through your chest when he turns away.

He sets about sharpening his sword with careful strokes.

“Kinich,” you approach, gentle. The muscle of his back grows taut at the sound of his name from your lips. “Please, please reconsider. Or else, I’m coming with you.”

You’re not sure at what point he started to feel so out of reach. Since the last attack, Abyssal forces have grown ever closer. Still, even when he’s only a few feet in front of you, it feels like there’s several walls between you.

He scoffs. “This isn’t just about what you want, Princess, as much as you might think so.”

It comes out bitter, venomous, and so unlike him—the Kinich you know is far gentler, far kinder. As annoying as you can be sometimes, he’s never expressed any irritation whatsoever. Still, he seems genuinely angry with you at the moment.

“What happened to ‘no one fights alone’? That’s what you always say, isn’t it?!”

It’s the motto emblazoned across the Natlan flags, the ones that line the town squares and peek from the top of the castle, proud. You’ve heard Kinich say it many times, as Guard Captain. He sighs.

“That doesn’t include you.”

A fire sparks in your chest, angry; anything that involves your nation certainly involves you. The thought has you advancing toward him, eyes blazing.

“I don’t think that’s up to you, Kinich.” You return your own poison, flinging words off your tongue like blades. “This isn’t just about what you want, as much as you might think so.”

Kinich puts down his greatsword and turns to you, barely concealed rage evident in the way his hands tremble.

“You’re not coming, Princess.” The stress is palpable in his expression, the knit of his brows and the twitch of his lip. “I’ll do whatever I have to. But you’re not taking a damn step toward that battlefield.”

The sheen in his amber eyes reflects something unfamiliar—something ugly and writhing.

Fear.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Kinich look that way before.

“What are you so afraid of?” you ask, desperate. “What are you running from?”

“What am I so afraid of?” His disposition turns fierce—his canines flash in the light, and you flinch. The action has him deflating immediately, unfamiliar with your panic.

Sighing, he leans back against the wall, sliding down until he comes to a stop on the ground. His head falls into his hands.

It’s quiet. Outside, people are whispering, preparing for the impending battle. In the next few days, people are going to die—your people. The thought is difficult to contend with. The tension weighs heavy on your shoulders as you watch your knight.

He’s still hunched over, looking overwhelmingly…small. Child-like. You wonder if you’ve ever seen him look this vulnerable before. It feels like you’re seeing the Kinich from a completely different time, one where he wasn’t the Guard Captain, one where he was all alone.

“Feeling you go limp in my arms?” he finally whispers, barely audible. “Feeling your heart slow to a stop?”

You freeze. His voice is thin, like glass—it feels like he’ll break any second. You take another step toward him, careful.

“Kinich.”

“I can’t—”

He takes a deep, shuddering breath, then gathers himself to face you again.

“I won’t lose you like that. Not now. Not ever.”

The prior attack seemed to have affected him more than you thought. You’d noticed it, maybe briefly, in his daily routines. More often, he seemed hesitant to leave your side. He was stricter with the guard patrols, and with your safety in general. Sometimes, you found him looking at the Capital square with a hardened gaze, perhaps remembering that day.

Then, one day, he began to avoid you completely.

His words bare the truth for you to hear: Kinich is afraid that you will die.

And it is eating him alive.

He pushes himself to his feet, taking another step to meet you in the middle.

“I exist to protect you, Princess,” he says, almost begging, a hand pressed to his chest. “That is why I am here. If I must die doing it, then that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

A horror creeps through your veins at his detached attitude.

“That’s what you think this is?” you ask, in disbelief. “That you’re just some sort of object for me to use? That it doesn’t matter what happens to you?”

For as long as you’ve known him, Kinich has been selfless, always placing your needs before his own. Yet, you hadn’t realized that he was never considering his own needs at all.

He looks away. “That is my duty—”

“It’s not!”

You cup at his face, pulling him to face you. A thin, crystalline fissure cracks through your heart at his expression—he looks hopelessly, overwhelmingly lost. When a tear slips out of the corner of his eye, you nearly sob.

“You matter to me, Kinich,” you whisper, thumbing it away. “And your life is not a risk I’m willing to take.”

His mouth opens, then closes, struggling for uncertain words. You wonder if he’s ever been told this in his life—how much he’s wanted, how much he’s needed. Despite how much you complain, you know that you’ve needed him since you met him, and that won’t change anytime soon. The thought of his injury—or even worse, his death—leaves you reeling.

He clears the lump in his throat, finding himself.

“I still have to go,” he manages, quiet. His fingers curl around your wrist, rooting you there—rooting you to him.

You press your forehead to his, his bangs and headband warm against your skin. A life still pulses there, in his ribcage, and that’s all you need to know.

“I know. But don’t be reckless.”

It’s a plea. That despite the danger and the terror, he’ll think of you on the battlefield, and the promises you’ve made. That he’ll think about returning home, always.

You look up at him through your lashes, and he looks back.

“Come back to me, Kinich,” you say, tears welling in your eyes. “That’s an order.”

The sight seems to sober him—Kinich swallows before nodding firmly.

“As you wish, Princess.”

The next day, you meet Kinich in the castle chapel, along with the rest of the elite guards. Your mother and father sit behind you, quiet and regal on their thrones. The mood feels overwhelmingly somber.

You’ve never had to perform this rite, this blessing, for as long as you’ve lived. But then again, you’ve never experienced war to this extent.

Kinich advances down the center of the aisle, flanked by his fellow knights—the skylight casts a gentle shine over him. You vaguely think he looks like a prince.

He’s in his ceremonial armor, glowing paint lining his cheeks and arms. A hunter green cape flutters behind him as he approaches, greatsword flashing proud over his back. You nod in acknowledgement as he falls to one knee before you.

“Malipo Kinich,” you say, voice echoing throughout the chapel. Kinich’s gaze is meaningful as he looks up at you—it reminds you of when he was first knighted so many years ago. “Go forth and bring pride and protection to our nation.”

You outstretch a hand, and he takes it—his thumb runs comfortingly across your palm, a promise.

This won’t be the last time.

He presses a gentle kiss to the back of your hand, eyes fluttering shut.

“May the Abyss take my soul if I ever abandon you,” he murmurs, hushed. His breath is warm, pooling over your skin and running hot up your arm. It’s a message for you and you alone. “May my skin tear from bone if you ever suffer.”

When he rises to his feet, turning to leave, you grasp at his shoulder. The action has him flinching, glancing at you over his shoulder. Everyone in the chapel holds their breath, watchful.

You pull the ribbon from your hair, golden silk wrapping smoothly around your hand. His eyes widen.

“Come back to me, Kinich.”

Gently, you tie it around the grip of his greatsword, just under the ridge of the one you’d given to him before. He hisses in a breath when you brush over his cheek as you withdraw your hand, before thumbing over your new gift, thoughtful.

When he looks at you again, a certain fondness sits in his stare.

“As you wish, your Highness.”

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #kinich x reader #genshin impact #kinich #kinich x you #genshin impact imagines #adeptus ink #pixelprincess!au

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lustlovehart · 3 months ago

Note

uhm uhm uhm maybe,, SOMETHINF angsty Y/n x Twst Character because I’m craving angst :33

prompt; Y/n adores [TWST Character], and [TC] ignores it. Ignores all of Y/n’a affections. As time passes Y/n slowly loses all of those feelings and then [TC] starts gaining feelings for Y/n. They know, they know it’s too late. But they need You, they can’t let go of you.

Characters?? ;; Riddle, Azul, Kalim OR one of them! I know ur suuper busy so I don’t wanna pressure you that much. It’s okay if you make the story short, I don’t care! I’m just happy you took the time to read this! Take caaareee 🫶🫶

—🐍anon (the first one to comment on ur recent post wink wink)

Jellyfish Flow to Tide, Never to Heart

A/n: I won’t lie, One of my favorite angst prompts has always been the “Noticed too late” plot device, the idea of what could’ve been had you seen it earlier is so heart-wrenching to me (ಡ‸ಡ) Also, thank you for the take care comments!! You guys are so sweet <3

Pairing: Azul Ashengrotto x Reader, Ft. Jade Leech

Warnings: Angst,You fall in love with someone else when he realizes his feelings, Jade’s a cuck, Jealousy, Attempted Kissing, Azuls very pathetic in this one, Spelling errors

You’re sat in front of Azul as he diligently counts this months expenses and gains. It looks mostly like complicated math, but… you’ve been looking into accounting in hopes of Azul looking at you the same way you do to him.

You were the first one to check up on Azul after his overblot, the twins a close second. Nonetheless, you were still first. You’re the one who attempts to genuinely talk to the real Azul, not the suave “benevolent” businessman he presents himself as.

Yet you’re attempts to pursue fall flat each time.

“Would you like to schedule a meeting? Is that why you’re here?” his cerulean eyes gaze over his glasses to take a glance at you, his eyes searching for a reason to your presence, thought he doesn’t find one, as you don’t have one.

Except to see him.

“I… I want…!”

“Pease make it quick Jellyfish, I have other attendants to meet.” Jellyfish, a name he assigned to you at the detail of your deamenour. Venomous, yet pretty to look at.

It makes you heart float like one.

But there’s not time for that. In your desperation, you make a choice you should never resort to, but in your defense, it’s what came to mind first.

“I…! I wanna make a contract with you…!”

The business man in him perks up at the suggestion, but falls back down to earth when he remembers you don’t have much to offer. But, there is one thing.

“My benevolence has left me besseeched, tell me what you want, and i’ll tell you my exchange.”

“Go on a da… hangout.” you quickly save yourself from a straightforward confession, only narrowly doging through the little piece of anxiety with fear.

“… That’s all?”

“That’s all.”

His cautious reply reminds you of when you first visited him in the infirmary. You were rooted to the side next to his bed, insistent on seeing him to the end of his treatment.

It was admittedly a pain to him, having you spout endless positivity his way, placing your hands on his skin to help ease any injuries he catered from his overblot. You touch was soft, gentle, a stark contrast to the dark ink that cradled him deep within. It’s unsettling how very out of touch you are to the group of students at Night Raven College.

When he awoke from his long sleep, the feeling of a warm palm enveloping his own made him quirk an eyebrow, his vision squinting to look down at your face nuzzled into his skin, only being strirred by the touch of a single finger flicking you awake.

“You’ll have to pay me a good fortune in order to use me as your pillow.”

“Too bad i’m broke.” you already know he’s gonna offer you to grace him with a different reward, but your expectations are proven false when he only sighs, sinking into the plush pillow under him.

He hasn’t let you go yet. His warm limb, typically adorned with a leather glove, is bare, naked possibly. Holding hands with him could even be scandalous. This sense of vulnerability made you wonder, just what is the true Azul like? You’ve seen a glimpse behind that counterfeit display of his, but not enough to truly gauge him.

“Azul, we should go out.”

“… How direct.” He thinks you’re joking. “We can do that when you wish to form another contract with me.” But you’re not.

“Aww, and I thought you’d change…” You weren’t kidding, but you play off of him as if you were. “Are you sure you’re as benevolent as you say?” The door behind you quietly creaks open, neither you nor the aquatic patient notice the sound.

“My, it’s rude to be mean to a recovering patient you know.”

“This recovering patient seems well enough to start scamming though huh?”

“Not scamming, just business.” Those four words, were the second moment that stirred your interest in Azul. It was then, you vowed to become closer to the man you hold hands with in that room.

You’re ready for whatever piece of skepticism he’ll trade you. He only pays you a sigh before snapping his fingers, the familar golden scroll coming into view.

“For 3 months, i’ll accompany you in these outings, providing for the funds necesary, though, with my benevloence, this deal can only be broken when you’re satisfied with my service. In return, I want the plant Crowley has been secretly cultivating within your dorm.”

“… Those…? Aren’t those used in love potions…? What do you need that for?”

“Someone’s been paying attention in class— kind of. It’s more so enamor rather than love.” His gloved hand airs the scroll forwards, the thin slip falling into place, your eyes scanning for any sign of vague wording. You may have a deeply festered infatuation for him, but that doesn’t mean you’re foolish enough to dive in without warning.

“Same thing. Still doesn’t answer why you need it.”

“We’ll save it, for a rainy day of course!”

You’re not sure if he means for himself, or for a client. Either way, you got what you wanted.

“Y’know… I know I asked to hangout, but I wasn’t expecting you to go all out…” your bottom awkwardly shifts on the cushioned chair beneath you, the leather squeaking at your movement.

“Nonsense, I only provide the best.” Yes, because the best, is the Mostro Lounge all empty.

It’s deserted, but you can see the effort he went through for it. The lights are dimmed, and the table you’re both sat at is covered with a pretty tablecloth, readily made food adorning the surface. Even the man on the other side of the table is dressed in a fancy suit, different from his typical cafe uniform.

You thought it was just gonna be talking about regular mundane things, not an expensive dinner for heavens sake. You feel so out of place inside, still adorning your loose fitting pajamas.

“The best…? I’m not sure, would’ve been the best if I dressed for the occasion…”

“Why? I want you to be comfortable, besides, you look quite nice all the time.” You don’t want his words to fluster you, yet you can’t stop the creeping warmth that invades your face at his statement.

“Then, I think you should change out of that suit and join me.” It’s his turn to track back, his eyes slightly widening before flaling back into their usual shape.

“That would be improper.” His hands stiffen when you reach out towards him, your warm palm now rubbing circles into his skin, slowly bringing the limb to your face.

“Than lets be improper together.”

In this moment, Azuls not sure feeling what rushes through his hearts. All he knows, is that it tightens in his chest so hard he might as well stop breathing. The logical part of him though shoves such a heart wrenching pain away, locking it deep down so its ugly head isn’t allowed to rear back at him.

It’s vulnerable, too close. He won’t fall for such a foolish trap. He won’t stuff himself into that octopot anymore.

“I don’t think we should.” Your soft hands are quick to let go of him, your body sinking into your chair at his words. He’s about to chase after the heat from your palms before remembering it was him who chased you away.

“You’re right, sorry…” He wishes he had worn his glasses, maybe then he wouldn’t see the way you look so hurt right across from him. It’s quick, but you seem to recover fast from his rejection, smiling as you clap your hands together. “I should get to know the real Azul before he allows himself to be so informal around me!”

“You jump back quickly don’t you…”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have stayed with you the entire time you were in the infirmary would I?” You’re right. He wasn’t exactly the most welcoming when receiving your attention, yet you stayed until he began softening up and finally letting you help tend to him. It reminds him of right now, even though he just bluntly shot your attempt of befriending him down, you’re still being so happy. Your smile falters for a moment, eyes looking down at him before speaking. “I wasn’t lying. I want to know the real Azul.”

He’s silent. Why would you want to know the him that’s… Just utterly pathetic….?

“I wish you good luck on your endeavors—”

“But, you don’t believe in luck.”

“Ah, so you remembered that?” He’s taken a back for a second time of the night.

“I told you I wanted to know you, it makes sense I would, wouldn’t it?”

“I suppose it does.”

“It does.” You parrot his words, as if they’re your favorite flavor and you’re attempting to savor the taste. Azul secretly wishes you would stop smiling already. It’s making his hearts hurt.

“You’ve made me curious Jellyfish, why do you want to know me so bad?” He watches as your expression contorts, first in shock, next in confusion, and finally in defeat.

“I… I’m not sure… Well maybe because…?” I liked you before you even overblotted? No way, too direct. “Ah! Because I just wanna!”

“… You’re much too broad in your answers,” he pours you a glass of sparkling water into your glass cup. “If you wish to know a method of elongating the truth, I happen to know quite a few.” Of course he does…

“Let me hear them then, Cephalo.”

“Ah, well if you ask so kindly I’m inclined to agree. “ he scoots his chair in as he instructs you through his ways of scam.

A few minutes pass before you take a chance at his lesson of spinning the truth, inhaling before speaking.

“I think this opportunity would be great so I can confess to the guy I like.”

“My and who could the mystery man be?”

… You didn’t think this far ahead.

But maybe, this could work in your favor.

“I like y—“

A loud clang is sounded on the table as a covered tray is practically slammed onto the wooden surface.

“Jade…! You…! If this table has a scratch on it I hope you realize that’s coming out of your next check…!”

“Ah, forgive me Azul, I seemed to have tripped” Did he really? That seemed way too hard to have been on accident… Jade resumes to his full height, his smile lacking the usually conniving it usually does when he looks at you before turning back to Azul. “You told me to intervene when the clock strikes midnight.”

You’re ready to reach for your phone to check the time, slyly being stopped by Jades gloved hand gripping you wrist, his free finger pointing towards the clock on the wall.

Has it really been that long already…?

“So it seems… Unfortunately, we’ll have to call this hangout off. I wish you a safe travel back—“

“There’s no need, I shall accompany them back home.”

…

You and Azul are both silent at the proposition.

“Uhm, I’m okay Jade. It’s late; you should probably go to sleep—“

“I insist.” It’s not like you wouldn’t enjoy company… You’re just, a bit afraid of Jade… You look back at Azul, his countenance not giving you any sort of hint on whether or not you should take his offer. Without realizing, your hand is slowly lifted up towards Jades face, his form slightly bowing as a promise is spoken on his lips. “Do not worry, I just wish to stand by your side.”

You have a gnawing suspicion those spoken words mean much more than he lets on.

It isn’t until you’re in the comfort of your bed you check your phone.

It’s 11:27 pm.

Why was the clock ahead of time?

The lights of your dorm shine bright on your skin, further displaying your beauty to Azuls eyes. Your soft breaths carefully enevlop the room, each one sounding like a music note.

His elbow props his head up from the pillow, your body never leaving his visage. He carefully allows his fingers to ghost of the skin of your arm, smiling when your eyes begin to flutter open.

“... You... Let me sleep...“ quiet laughs escape him when you turn over and lift the sheets to shield yourself from the man next to you.

“Only 5 minutes, we did plan this entire day, can’t let it go to waste right?” Your hand emerges from beneath the blanket, waving him off before retreating back into your cocoon. Azul sighs before letting his arms wrap around you, enveloping your body as he rests his head on yours. His voice is soft, sweet, like he’s attempting to coo you out of your protective layer and back into reality. “Would you prefer spending our entire day in bed? I don’t mind but that would mean we don’t get to go out to eat like we penned.”

He watches as you flip over the covers and practically fall off the mattress, his arms reflexively reaching out to catch you.

“Well come on! You’re a busy businessman it doesn’t do you any good to stay in bed!” His smile reaches his lips for once, not the typical cunning smile he trades when making deals, a true genuine smile of joy.

Wait, when did he become so enamored with you?

He’s frozen in place, only watching you get ready in a hurry, clothes flying in the air as they stray across your shared bedroom floor.

Shared?

“… Why are you gawking at me like that? Surely my husband has seen me get ready enough times to not be so entranced.” Your clothes are loosely fit to your body, not yet fully on your skin.

Husband?

“I don’t think so, it’ll have to be at least your last day on twisted wonderland before that happens. By then, I’ll be too focused on all of you.” You’re sat on the floor, watching him slowly walk over to you, his hand caging your cheek as he leans down into you.

Your lips are mere centimeters apart, your mouth slightly parted when soft lips ghost over your own.

“… Am I really that interesting to you?” Your words are hushed. If you weren’t in the comfort of your room, he would’ve never heard those syllables. Yet, that’s not the case, because it’s you two, only you two.

“You always have been.” He closes the distance, his eyes fluttering shut when he leans into the warmth of your lips, only stopping when a quick jolt of energy shoots up his spine.

He never got the chance to feel you.

…

Azul wakes up to the sight of his empty desk.

“Oh my, I was just about to wake you up from such a sweet dream.” Jade is stood in front of the table, his gloved hand placed over his heart. “You seemed to be calling so sweetly for [Name].” That smile of his makes Azuls eye twitch.

“Ignoring your brazen care for privacy, what do you need Jade?” His once unkempt appearance is back to its natural state, his glasses corrected and his hair no longer disheveled.

“Coincidentally, it’s about your dear dream lover.”

…

“What about them?”

“Has [Name] ever mentioned an Ideal Date?” This endearment makes Azul finally take notice of the bouquet of flowers Jade has hidden in his concealed hand. Coincidentally, both your favorite kind, and your favorite color. Since when did he have the knowledge to such info.

“… If they did, I wouldn’t tell you.” His reply doesn’t stir anything in Jade, and if it did, it certainly is concealed well enough to not peak through any part of him. That slick smile doesn’t leave the eels mouth, his head only tilting to signal any sign of disappointment.

“How unfortunate.” He takes a bow before turning heel, the bouquet now on full display to Azul. There’s a letter neatly wrapped to the floral, addressed to you.

My dear, Jellyfish.

…

Azul thinks it’s foolish. That name was made by him, so why is it coming from Jade too?

Eventually, your summons begin to happen less and less, no more outings for the two of you left to seize. Azul sits in his office, his chin places on his clasped hands as he stares at the door. Papers are no longer neatly piled like they used to be, only scattered around the desk with messed scribbles of what used to be Azul's neat handwriting.

He’s waiting. He’s been doing such a thing for a week, simply because, you’ve yet to summon him to your side.

You’ve yet to want him, like you did before.

He’s not sure why he’s so fixated on your attention. Before it was just for the business he required from you, each weekly date— no, you never did call it a date, neither did he… when exactly did he start calling it such an intimate occurrence?

Either way, this arrangement started as a way for you to build up courage for the one you wished to confess to, he started suave, distant, trying his best to embody the mystery man you wished to romance.

Then, at some point, he started filling in the empty placement he left for your suitor, with himself. Instead of trying to be anyone else, he gave you answers to your questions filled with his own character, his favorite foods, his favorite hobbies, his feelings, him, all him.

He gave you all of him, every fragment, every single piece of him he wouldn’t even trust himself with, just for a temporary arrangement. He was a fool, a stupid pathetic cepahlo, how could he just sell out all his cards for this…! It reminds him of his pathetic octo pot, the one he would crawl into in piques of shame.

He’s sure, he’d crawl into it right now had it followed him on land.

You… When he looks at the selfie you took on his phone, a pang sores through the blue blood in his veins. Not his hearts, never those, because you took all three of them when you left him.

He was a fool to not have noticed your affections earlier, had he done so, maybe he wouldn’t need to be locked up in his office, burying his head in his hands at the mere thought of you—

“I insist, it would be improper to let you freeze as I walk perfectly warm next to you.”

“I’m gonna regret this later aren’t I…”

Azuls quick to push himself off his desk, peeking through the crack of the door, his blue eyes spying an all to familar eel peer back at him, with one of the most fiendish smiles he’s ever seen on him.

Truthfully, there isn’t malice behind his smile, if anything, the smile on his lips is the courteous respectful one he always trades people. At the moment though, Azul’s current visage skews his expression, turning a respectful act into that of spite.

He’s ready to storm out and dump as much work as possible onto him, he’s preparing to do it before halting when he sees you again. You’re still just as beautiful as you were last week, and the week before. No, you must’ve started glowing more.

Just like a jellyfish.

“Jade are we gonna go? If you don’t want to anymore I can just walk alone.” your hands wraps around his arm, gently pulling him your direction. Enough for him to move, but not enough to force him your way.

“Yes, do not worry i’m coming—”

“Jade, there you are. I’ve been looking for you, our expenses for supplies have remained unaccounted for, that has always been your job has it not?” The frames of his glasses suffer from the glare of lunge lights, it works in his favor though, without it you would’ve noticed the sense of hurt in his eyes when he stares at you.

“Ah, that is unfortunate timing, I was meant to walk [Name] home—“

“Than it seems I should accompany them in your place, as you will be busy, very busy, correct?” Jades thin-lined smile doesn’t give much away for his current countenance, before he takes his leave, he turns towards you and bows, a gently farewell leaving his lips.

“Wait…! I should give you back your jacket shouldn’t I?”

He didn’t even notice you were garnering the eels wear. In fact, when did you start smelling like Jade? The soft smell of herbal tea Azul had rubbed off on you has basically dissipated off your body. It’s like, all traces of him have disappeared from you.

“It’s okay, keep it.”

Azul watches the way you open your mouth to retort Jade, knowing you, he’s sure you would’ve told him “and risk being in debt to you?” But then your lips close in on themselves and you tug the blazer ever so close to your warmth.

When did Jade become the center of your attention?

Azul beckons you out the door, his hand ready to lay itself on your waist like it once did in the past, but the limb restrains itself without him even commanding to do so.

The walk is silent, save for the footsteps of your shoes clanking against the flooring of their dorm. But, Azuls fine with it, as long as you don’t request for him to do the thing he’s been dreading for the past few weeks. He hopes, he prays you won’t do it. If you don’t, he’ll consider such a thing his lucky day.

But then again, when has Azul ever believed in something like luck?

“I’m satisfied with the deal we made. I’ll give you those flowers and… we can end this contract—”

“You’re ready to confess to your mystery love than? Forgive me, but I took to inspecting flowers. Has Crowley forgotten them? It seems they’re wilted… What poor unfortunate plants.”

“Wha…? When were you in my dorm Azul?”

“Floyd enjoys wandering into places that aren't his to be in.” Azuls fits his glove to his hand, the material stretching over his skin. It seems to you like an act of prim elegance, to him, it’s a subtle way of calming his aching, trembling nerves. “You should know by now the great deal of effort it takes to get him to listen...“

“Well even then, last time I checked they looked completely healthy!”

“And when was that?”

“… 4 days ago… In my defense they’re Crowleys responsibility not mine!”

“Yet there’s still some fault to be found in you…” He’s not wrong, unfortunately… You put them in as collateral for the contract yet you never took any effort to keep them in prim shape. You stop in your tracks, almost tripping over yourself. Your eyes watch Azul pull a box of tea bags out from his pocket, gently shaking the cube as the bags inside hit the interior. “When we get back, do we mind having the discussion over tea?”

You should be suspicious, but, after all the time spent with him, even if you no longer harbor the feeling you once did for him, you trust him.

“Fine, but this better not be some elaborate trick of yours!” He laughs to it, but provides no further comments.

“So, about the contract—“ you’re ready to lift the tea cups rim to your lips, the golden liquid shining with the light.

“Are you in love with Jade?” You sputter out the liquid that hadn’t even made its way into your mouth.

“Wha—? Nahh… Well…! Uhmm….” Your reaction is way too obvious. If you had a cliff anywhere near you, there’s no doubt you would’ve jumped off in pure embarrassment. “Love is… surely a strong word, let’s describe it as more like… A growing infatuation!” You bury your head in your hands after ruminating on that rewording. If anything, it’s sounds more intimate than love….

“I see. So then, were you imagining me as him?” You’re struck out of your embarrassment, looking back up at the dull blue of his irises.

“No. I never did.” You don’t see nor hear it, but the leather of his clothes crunches loudly with the increasing pressure of his fist, slowly tightening.

“Are you sure? This contract is coming to an end, you do not need to hide such details anymore—“

“On those dates,” the word date was already enough to make his posture straighten, the words you later speak only furthering this case.”I imagined you to be you.”

“… What do you mean?”

“I liked you back then, Azul.”

Azul is practically biting his cheek at this revelation, the inside of his mouth salivating with blue blood. You… You must be joking, it can’t no…

“Wh… When did you… you stop…?” He thinks he sounds pathetic. No… he must sound pathetic. His perfectly curated voice is beginning to crack as small slips of voice squeaks escape into his speech.

“When it seemed like you didn’t want anyone to see the real you.” That…! that was just because he didn’t want you finding the sad pitiful octomer behind this suave persona…! He wanted you to fall in love with the version he wanted to be! Not the forlorn octopus he truthfully is and always has been…! “I tried, I really did, to finally have you set free of that wall. I wanted… I wanted to fall in love with the man behind the business. But at some point, it’s like, there was no man, only business.” Your hands scoot over the table, one last time, the lovely feeling of your palms encaging his is felt.

For the last time…

Before you can speak your next sentence, Azul lets words that are far to late to tell you escape him.

“I love you.”

…

There’s silence only. You don’t reciprocate the words you longed to hear him say so far ago in the past.

“And I loved you, Azul.” The emphasize on the past tense practically threatens him to spill over on the table and eat himself limb from limb. The sorrowful yet happy smile from you is enough to stop him, but not enough to cease the thought.

He takes a deep breath in before smiling, his once stiff posture melting into the chair.

“Well then, we should finish this tea, I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

“Oh…! You’re right.” The upward turn on your lips as you lift the cup reminds him of your dates. His head turns to the side to finally make a comment on the poor fully curated flowers on the windowsill, the ones that were offered up on your contract.

“They’re wilted, yet they still look pretty. Much more, they’re shaped like jellyfish, aren’t they, Jellyfish?” You wait for the pink liquid to travel down your throat before replying.

“They are. That reminds me, why wouldn’t you want them if they’re wilted?”

“In their natural state they provide the effect of admiration and gentle love with the first party they see,” you quaff the rest of the pink liquid into your stomach, the fruity aftertaste stuck in your mouth. “When wilted, the effect is… differnt”

“Huh, interesting.” You tug Jades overcoat closer into your body, his cologne invading your nose. You glance to the window just as Azul is, your eyes tracing over each plant. “Huh… There’s 9. There used to be 10…”

“How peculiar… Perhaps a ghost took it for a rainy day.” He’s not wrong, they have a tendency to steal snacks, so it’s entirely plausible.

“Yeah maybe.” Your phone rings, your fingers slipping the device out of your pocket as you glance at the notification. “Jade’s asking me if I want to go on his next mountain hike… Like, right now…”

“You should probably go then.” You didn’t realize it, but since when has your hand been intertwined with Azuls? But even then, why is this blazer the sweetest-smelling thing you’ve ever worn? “You have a growing infatuation.”

“You’re right… I should…”

You don’t know what it is, but your body feels light, hollow even. When you drag yourself up out the door, it’s as if your body is simply flowing through a tide.

“There you are [Name].” you look up the spot on the floor you were staring at, being met with the pretty sight of Jade in front of you. Yet despite it, you look back at Azul, waving a kind goodbye before setting foot.

You miss the look of fondness he trades you, and in turn, you miss the pure sorrow that tears into his eyes.

When the door shuts, Azuls left at the table, his head turning down into the wood as the smile he dealt you is no longer to be seen, the darkness seemingly surrounding him. Just like it did when he overblotted, except…

You won’t be there to comfort him, when he’s left in that wretched white bed,

All alone.

A/n: To be honest, I was so conflcited on who should be Azuls love rival in this fic. If I chose Riddle, It would make the fic have two of your requested characters, also Azuls one sides rivarly would’ve been delicious to write. On the other hand, Jamil who he consistently praises, stealing the one thing he genuinely wanted would’ve been good. Then I realized, Jade is right there. Azul doesn’t consider Jade above him, if anything they’re on equal footing, he just tends to take charge more. Which is exactly what confuddles him more, are Jade and him… basicallly not the same person? (they’re not similar, but Azuls just blinded with grief).

Also, This ended up being way longer than expected (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

#askves #🐍 anon #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst angst #twisted wonderland angst #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto angst #azul angst #azul ashengrotto x yuu #azul x yuu

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