#i genuinely don't wanna see it again
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omori? whats that. i only know the dreamscape au.
#i've actually had it up to fucking here with this stupid game#i genuinely don't wanna see it again#got to this point w genshin too#omori dreamscape au#dreamscape au
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Shen Qingqiu, after being taken as a captive in Binghe's palace: I can have anything I want? Fine! Then I don't want to see you! Ever!
Shen Qingqiu, after Binghe complies with his wish and doesn't bother him: WHY won't he come and see meeeeeeee?!?!? This protagonist is nothing like the gongs in Meimei's books!!!! WHY DIDN'T HE LOCK ME AWAY TO HAVE HIS WAY WITH ME??!? WHY IS HE RESPECTING MY BOUNDARIES!?!?!!
#anqels ramblings#eva.txt#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#he was sulking so hard#like he really thought binghe wouldn't listen to him#but bingbing is a respectful boy <33 (except for the time he was trying to scare him but shhhhh that doesn't count)#i mean sqq was also actually mad at him for lying to him. and for attacking cqm.#but I genuinely don't think he meant he never wanted to see him again#he just said it in a fit of anger after having his heart broken#i really need to reread this part if I want to do a more accurate analysis#i'll probably reread it in august to celebrate 2 years since reading svsss. i wanna try and read it in 3 days like I did the first time
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friendly reminder that i'm not obligated to respond to asks or dms
agdt asks take time to answer and i have already mentioned before that people's asks are unlikely to be answered due to how many there are [literally had to add my friend as a blog mod to purge 500+ asks]
i answer my own inbox when i have the time and when i see an ask i find interesting - if I don't answer your ask, it's either i don't have time to or i don't have an answer for it OR answering yours means i have to spoil something about agdt
so erm 🤓 ! don't bother going to my dms, i'm not going to answer you
uhh, slash i don't mean any animosity when i say this stuff idk whatever tonetag fits
#midway through writing the last sentence i realized it's /nm#LOL so yeah /nm#genuinely tho i get that agdt is fun to interact with#but again with how big the blog has gotten#don't bother telling me to check the inbox#because one im not the only one who runs it#meaning i have to check in with my partner to see if the ask is smth we should answer#two i won't respond to you#three telling me to answer an ask asap or quickly... bro... that will make me wanna do it less#no offense broski#wyllaztopia rambles
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today, chiefs of justice
#genshin impact tw#genshin impact cw#posting genshin on main again...... i know#anyway it made me kinda insane how similiar they felt to me?????? genuinely#but man i hated drawing neuvilette what the hell#his clothes are so stupid!!!!!!!!! i hate them!!!!!!!#without his weird cardigan lapels (bc they're not his jacket's!!!!) he looks like a damn priest!!!!!!!!#and it's so stupid and complicated#edgeworth my beloved though#anyway. yeah this is silly don't look at me#im gonna redesing neuvilette and put him in a normal suit that isnt stupid let me know if u wanna see that lol#btw. this png is 41mb#neuvillette#genshin impact#miles edgeworth#mitsurugi reiji#ace attorney#gyakuten saiban
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why is it that when 2 normal charas so much as Smile to each other or have a touching scene the entire fanbase is like OMG SHIP SHIP THEYRE SO IN LOVE, RIGHT? LOOK @ THEM KYAA
but a problematic pair (be they the obvious twincest bait or 2 charas w an age gap or complicated circumstances or are siblings/sibcon bait etc) will have a scene where they're nearly abt 0.2 secs from making out &/or are speaking/showing their love for one another to a point that's far beyond platonic in nature (maybe even featuring fanservice), are so very clearly openly Flirting with each other/have blatant romantic or sexual tension, &/or are framed in a romantic/sexual light in general etc etc & everyones like no omg they're just normal siblings/family or teacher-student/parent[coded]-child or whatever etc :// u guys r freaks WHAT how r they shippy in any way :// how tf r u shipping them wha huh.
like why is it that when the ship is problematic, people are like
#this started out as a post abt brocons but then I remembered sebaciel & i was like u kno.. the agegap + etc pairings get this treatment too#anyway. u don't even need to Ship the pairing but how can u not see How others ship it especially if it's smth Baited?? ignorance.#overgrowth.text#Rant tag#except a genuine rant this time bc im so very sick of Normies.#like for every ship I'm like yea they banter makes sense ppl want em to kiss or wow they had some homoerotic rival moments of course they'r#a ship like! does the immoral part just make u stupid or smth? u think k they wouldn't? how do You know em so well huh.#especially if they're in canon like 'god ur so cute i love u wow ur the most perfect being i wanna b closer to u' & ur like Waow.. normal#family behavior <3 he's whimpering bc hes happy <3 yay <3 like ??? (im vaguing yhe shiramitsus again bc they're so Blatant)
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Hi. Apparently I'm having a lot of feelings today and I just want somewhere to get them out. This isn't fandom related, it's just me related.
I wish it was talked about more openly, all the emotions you go through, when you lose a person you care about slowly over time. When you grieve while a person is still living. How someone you told everything to, you could always confide in, and go to for advice, they now forget what you've shared. Or, they just can't wrap their head around it. They're just not who they once were.
A person that at one time cared for you, that taught you things, and told you amazing stories, shared their passions and creativity... all that light is just barely a flicker anymore.
And it guts me, puts me in physical pain, to hear the anguish in their voice because there is enough of them that remains to know they're not that person anymore either. And it's no one's fault. All we can blame is a disease. ((But, seriously, and I cannot emphasize this enough, FUCK the disease!))
I want to guard that flickering light. I want to add fuel, put more wood on it, grab leaves or paper, and do what I can to build it up again, I want to scramble and search, but there's just nothing more I can seem to add. So, all I can do is sit here and try to protect what's left.
I am so thankful that they are still here, that I still have one more day with this version of themselves, but, gods, do I miss the person they were. And I know they miss that person too.
#tw: grief#tw: loss#mourning the living is just a tragic experience#and I wanna cry#I'm so sick of crying lately#crying just to put on a happy face#because I can't explain to them why I'm so heartbroken#I just want to see her genuinely happy again#and I don't know that I will#scar.txt
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Everyone going crazy over shipping whenever sonic and shadow show up together in literally anything makes me feel insane bc none of their interactions are ever inherently romantic in any way. And hell I'd say they aren't even that friendly towards each other a lot of the time
Like I enjoy the ship too but it's not bc I see any basis for it in canon. Canon actively goes against the ship like what are you ppl seeing that I'm not
#ramblings#yes this post is abt the recent twitter takeover and the reactions to it#like i genuinely don't get it#it's like. either they're at each others' throats and ppl say that's how they flirt#or one of them (usually sonic) tries to be more friendly and ppl say it's bc he wants to take the other out on a date or something#like. guys? hello?? why is everything romantic when they do it now??#those two literally can't exist in the same room without ppl going on abt how much they wanna kiss each other#feels like you guys are pretending the versions of sonic and shadow that exist in your heads are the canon sonic and shadow#when canon is not At All like that#like. again what are y'all seeing that i'm not#where is the romance. like actually where is it. explain this to me like i'm five years old please#it's getting to the point where I'm genuinely wondering if I'M the problem here#(reblogs off bc i'm not talking abt shipping in this fandom and having dumbasses in my notes *Again*)
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Update 3: drove the asshole home bc I was so sure he was fr gonna die if he drove himself lmao. Poor dude looked so miserable, like bro was either holding back while we were working or he got worse the second he was able to relax, bc there wasn't a single moment of silence the whole drive back, dude was just curled up in the passenger’s seat shivering and being so fucking symptomatic. Like he was doing that thing where you basically cough all of the air out of your lungs then doing that rattly little inhale and then repeating, like it was Not Good 😬 0/10, hated being there to experience that in person, I was horrified, I want all of that to stay in audio recordings where it can't hurt me lmao. And he wasn’t sneezing a ton, but when he did, he stifled them until I told him to quit it bc the last thing he needs is a fucking ear infection on top of whatever the hell is already wrong with him, and even when he stopped, he was so congested that they sounded kinda stifled anyway 😭 like it's all objectively hot and I would've loved it had I just read it and not experienced it first hand, but unfortunately I'm a massive germaphobe and had to sit three feet away from this guy all damn day. So I bleached the hell out of my car and scrubbed myself down in the shower three times and I still don't feel like anything is clean enough, but I'm tired so it's gonna have to do for now lmao
#this is kinda snz kink ain't it?#i might shower again before i go to bed idk lmao#OH ALSO important to note#he was stifling with his fingers so he was getting that shit all over his hands i was like IN MY CAR????? fucking horrific#again it's objectively hot but not when it's in front of me 😭#i hope y'all are enjoyjng this at least bc I'm not lmao i was trying not to pass away the whole day#like i feel so bad bc i consider my partner a friend so obviously i care about him and wanna help#but at the same time i literally can't train my disgust reaction out of me#I'm fucking weird when it comes to who I'm more okay with being around when they might be sick#like if he wasn't my usual partner or if he was just some random coworker i wouldn't have given him a ride#like i did it scared but i still did it lmao#anyway#i told him to text me tomorrow so i know he's not dead and to call if he needs anything#so we'll see what comes of that#and i will be passing away if he gets me sick so stay tuned for that#knock on wood i haven't been sick since i was 13 and I'm almost 22 now#and last time i was sick i had strep and bronchitis at the same time so that wasn't good#but other than that it's just been allergy flare ups#so other than the vaccine reactions i genuinely don't remember what it's like to actually be sick#so let's hope i just manage to avoid it 😭#partner posting
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i love making content for people who say wild things in the tags
#and the thing is i genuinely don't really know how to make sure said people see my stuff#but when it happens i could not be happier#when will my computer return from the war i wanna make gifs again
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daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167
I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it
#warrior cats#whistlepaw#windclan#medicine cat apprentice#this isn't my first crush lol but this one has had me feel the strongest of feelings (and might be my first genuine crush lol)#the fact I have been building up A Lot of stress for the entire week probably didn't help.#and the fact my stomach hurt is also probably at least partially to explain by the fact I barely ate last night#but MAN seeing my (latest) crush in such a pretty dress and then go on stage and play (a goddess!!!!!!! she's a goddess)#(I already bought tickets to go see the full thing; I will die but I will die happy (I hope))#but yeah I struggled for a good 2 hours to fall asleep and also had stomach weirdness happening the next morning#man it was not fun#(and then she came to sit next to me during class and I had to play it cool (I was too deranged on sleep deprivation to really care about#being my typical brand of weird but I do sometimes feel like an idiot around her and feel guilty because then I fear that she finds me#annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help#either at all so uh I'm just trying to spend time with her I just always feel a bit worried that I'm annoying her and it's consuming my bra#I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off#and while it's very normal and stuff I never dare to go the entire way when my brain conjures fantasies that are a little too risqué#I just feel guilty man I know I shouldn't but still it fucking sucks in my brain#and god talking about this in therapy would be a mess#I might have to eventually but I don't wanna#anyways; wild vent in the tags aside; yay a whis!
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I love the vocal nuance in this exchange, but also posting this for my differences posts because this is one of the changes that infuriates me the most. Yuri didn't threaten Ioder, did not threaten him with a weapon, and just said he'd punch him in a lazy, half joking voice (half joking as in, he really doesn't want to hear that - that's just his way of saying so; but that's not the voice of someone who is super angry and threatening).
My other huge grievance is that this is a recurring issue between them in the dub. Yuri is pretty much always vocally rude to Ioder. Ioder has done nothing to wrong him or anyone and has only ever done good for the people where he's able to.
Yet despite Ioder being nothing but sincere, honest and polite with Yuri, in fact even happy to see him here and there, dub Yuri is outright tonally rude to him leading right up this scene where he threatens Ioder in this dark voice. Meanwhile he's actually just supposed to be… lazily telling Ioder he'll punch him in his Yuri Lowell way of saying "I don't want to hear that".
The dub really just wanted to turn Yuri into this dark edgelord and I hate that for my goofy, silly boy.
#GTF Vesperia Clips#honestly JP Yuri talks abt punching ppl often enough that it's like... this should have been an easy tl#and like honestly wtf is with the dub having Yuri at Ioder's absolute THROAT every time they talk#I'm serious when I say dub Yuri genuinely pisses me off sometimes bc he's an asshole for NO reason#it's not cool. I'm not rooting for him. I'm rooting for someone to punch him in the face for being an ass#JP Yuri would love to do it honestly he's always up for punching ppl it's a recurring theme for /him/#I've never wanted to punch JP Yuri in the face. I've wanted to punch dub Yuri in the face multiple times#that's enough for me to recognize that the dub took more than just ''creative liberties'' with the loc#it SUCKS too bc the dub in and of itself isn't bad. I've said this before but#it really is primarily Yuri and his absolute ATTITUDE problem /and/ the way the dub treats Flynn and puts him down constantly#and unfortunately often uses Yuri to do it... when they're not having Flynn himself do it#all always in areas that never even happened originally. they just literally made it up#still not over how they had Flynn basically berate himself by saying ''like a /good knight/'' at Yormgen#the dub very clearly had a /narrative/ bias against imperial figures/knights that wasn't in the original#what was the reason to drop Sodia calling Yuri ''sir'' at Aurnion? there wasn't one!#but Sodia BaD so we can't possibly let anyone see her character development and have to hide it from dub players!#unfortunately for me the dub not being bad in and of itself truly is trumped by#its treatment of Yuri and Flynn as characters and the way the game narratively directs players#for me it really is THAT BAD that it's stronger than the rest of the dub being just fine#and it really truly honestly RUINS the entire dub for me bc I love Yuri and Flynn and hate seeing them treated like that#I mean literally the whole point of me making those text posts is bc of my love for Yuri lol#and it's so sad and hard to see dub players not get the same Yuri experience simply bc... they don't even know#a lot of people didn't even realize how different he was and like... I get loving Troy's acting#but again Troy isn't the problem here. I don't want a dub that treats my favorites the way it does#I WISH Troy could have voiced Yuri the way he really is. in some way for me it feels very lonely#bc like the casual person I pass by who knows Vesp isn't likely to have not played the dub you know??#so it's like... I wanna talk abt Yuri but we aren't even talking abt the same Yuri#nearly outta tags lol but yeah it just... makes me SO sad that they did all this to those two
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TBH the best case scenarios in my mind for Fit's lore ending on Thursday are either:
Madagio has mercy. They know what it's like to lose everyone they love, and seeing what's happening on Quesadilla Island is just a reminder of everything they loved and lost. Madagio releases Fit, and he reunites with Pac e Mike and Richarlyson, and they're all able to leave Quesadilla Island.
Or:
Madagio and Fit destroy the Federation together. Fit goes full 2B2T mode and there's nothing left of the Federation once they're finished. Madagio and Fit finally have their revenge. (And then maybe Fit can reunite with Pac + all his loved ones and they escape the Island, or reclaim the island for their own since the Federation no longer has any power over them).
Bonus: A very unlikely but "Wouldn't it be fun?" scenario would be Pac and Mike flying down on a fully-grown dragon Richas and rescuing Fit from Vacuus Island and they fly away and live happily ever after.
#i talk#qsmp talk#Genuinely need a vacation after the past two weeks (or however long it's been)#I keep seeing people say ''the best case scenario is Fit dying lol'' and I clearly care WAY too much because seeing that made me legit mad#Did my whole ''lmao ok let's calm down and take a walk'' and went out for a few hours only to come back and be like#''no actually I'm still mad. This entire situation sucks.''#I think this will probably be the last mcyt type series I let myself get invested in. I'm so exhausted of being disappointed#and the constant angst the fandom churns out#I wanna be able to love things without getting burned#I've got enough things to be sad over irl I don't want my escapism series making me sad too#Worst case scenario for me is Fit dying or him getting trapped in 2b2t again#and/or him saying q!Pac is dead#I'll be honest: CCs killing off their character feels like a betrayal to the people who have spent so much time loving them#and like yeah there probably ARE ways to do it well#but it's like. why would you choose that option there are so many better options#negative#idk man I'm just frustrated by this whole thing#all the untagged suicide jokes are making me frustrated too
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"An awkward gesture" like yeah. And that group of guys who gathered around in Portland ME in full Nazi paraphernalia on April 1st that one year were just joking. Right.
#bro. sorry WELL I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD EVEN SAY SORRY?????? but i am gonna bitch for a second#like that shit was so jarring (second example i provided) bc not to dox myself but that's like. home.#vaguely not specifically speaking. but that is home.#i don't even remember what happened/what was done about it other than like. seeing an article or two about it#but literally this is just part of the nazi playbook. it's just a joke. or a mistake. or an accident. not that serious. ect ect ect#bonus points if like well they're a really nice person. yeah. i bet they are To You.#and hell less me being a bitch about it even if they put on a nice face towards the people they want dead#like bitch. i was raised christian. i know a thing or two or one hundred thousand about The Duality of it.#conscious or subconsciously. i know first hand what it looks like to be loved and abhorred at the same time.#and this is a loose comparison maybe. but what i'm SAYING here is That's How They Get You.#also fuck man the more i think about that 'stunt' (idk if i even wanna call it that but for lack of a better term)#like. the stupider it fucking is. like yeah a joke. a prank. okay. and you just had all that shit laying around because.......???????#idk it's so jarring. esp when it's close to home#but it's also so fucking jarring and terrifying to see it play out Like This. not some fuckasses in fucking maine#but someone with a disgusting amount of power. in front of the entire world. TO the entire world#god i'm getting flashbacks to that one guy who in front of a whole ass crowd (some preacher? politician?#idk sometimes the venn diagram is a circle. i don't fucking care to find out) said some shit about#eradicating transgender people from public life completely. to like a LOUD fucking applause#like it's sickening and exhausting and god i'm privileged. technically speaking. i'm white#and am taken care of by family so i don't have to work (when like. idk if i can. as time goes on i really feel like i can't.)#like. i'm acknowledging that all things considered i'm probably going to be safe. in all likelihood.#but it's disgusting and horrifying and like. maybe i'm safe. relatively. but so many people are not and will not be.#like idk it's just looking really fucking bleak. and that's coming from the shut-in.#i feel like i could say so much about that too. how i exclusively live through my art and art alone.#is it maladaptive daydreaming if the conditions are inherently hostile to life itself?#again i feel like i'm lucky that i'm able to opt out. but i also feel like. i feel like these shouldn't be my only options.#i don't know. i just wish we had more political assassinations. it wouldn't fix the system.#but it would fix the issue of one really stupid and genuinely evil guy. this goes for many of them
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I love watching bpd gals on tik tok but it feels so unrelatable. Like you have enough money and resources to just constantly be in and out of mental hospitals then travel to 100 different countries and come home to your mansion 😭 why does EVERYTHING on tik tok feel unrelatable. Like how are you eating like this everyday? I only work 2 days a week but when I do work I am not attempting to make full planned healthy meals. If it fits in my mouth it goes in it
#personal#I need a high functioning bpd gal to watch or something#where are the gals who have never been to a mental hospital but are constantly going insane and wishing they were#but holding it all together with a paperclip because being percieved in a negative light makes their skin crawl#like if I could cut myself I'd have probably done it a few times but I live in fl with my grandma#I'd rather fucking DIE then have to explain myself about it. like actually . I don't have time to be a fuck up#but I wanna be a fuck up 😭 I wanna do drugs and slit my wrists and down a whole bottle of pills#I flirt with the idea of going absolutely bat shit insane. then I realize I will be percieved about it and die again on the inside#I don't see enough bpd rep where there's people genuinely barely holding it together behind the scenes while everyone thinks they're doing#great#I CONSTANTLY fool everyone#I told my friend the cuts on my arm were cat scratches and she was like yeah I figured you're not the kinda person who does that#yeah Youre so right 🩷
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Why don't you like Taylor Swift anymore?
cause she's a total opposite of everything she used to be
#i miss the old taylor#sometimes i think about lover era and it makes me want to cry#i genuinely cannot believe this is the same woman#also her new music is shitty but y'all already know how i feel about ttpd and there's no need to say it again#all she cares about is charts and money now#and being seen with her shitty boyfriend and problematic friends#she doesn't give a fuck about the quality of her music anymore = she doesn't care about her fans#i'm not the only one who sees it#also her behaviour is very immature sometimes but i don't even want to talk about it#there are many other reasons but i'm just tired and i don't wanna talk about her anymore#so here's your answer#anon#i saved every letter you wrote me*
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lowkey a little dejected abt gifmaking recently but i can't not gif make it's like bloodletting to me if i don't do it it gets pent up (worse). have to gif make to get my feelings out or elseeeee
#speaking.txt#i genuinely don't wanna seem desperate for attention or notes im just a little dejected abt my gifs vs others and like#seeing people complain so much abt gifs flopping when they consistently get way moreeeeee attention on them is mildly irritating#me which is not to dismiss their feelings regarding this. i understand. but im also like Come on man#idk it's like what i do doesn't matter there's always someone else who will do it better or there's always someone else who will just#do it and that's what everyone sees instead and im like ok whatever. 😔#doesn't matter what i do when i do it been doing it for over a year and i just always feel stagnant#feel like i improve so much feel like i do my best and yet it's not enough whatever whining over i will be neutral again on this acct 🙂↕️#for the record im in a depressive episode rn im sure i will get over all these feelings eventually im just bad rn
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