#i genuinely do apologize if this is coming off as overly hostile

[navree]

This might be a jump that I’m only doing in my head, but so often a young girl not looking her age or not ‘acting’ her age is seen as enough of a reason to not treat them as their age. Like when pple say ‘ girls mature faster’ so some 20 year old guy can be ‘dating’ a 16 year old if she is posing on insta looking like a model in her 20s. Or like how a 13 year old black boy will get treated and seen as an adult while a white 13 yro still thought of as a kid.

So I just dunno if saying the show got it wrong from day one cause ‘if Elizabeth looked super young everyone would have understood it’s abuse’ is right. I don’t think Alicia looks her age, and I definitely get a young vibe from her performance. And the show states repeatedly her age and that she’s ‘a child’, if people still see it as a romance just cause they’re not automatically getting the ick watching it, I don’t think that’s really fair.

I get your point that with a younger actress the material would have been tamer, but the show obviously decided it was going to go there with the abuse which is why they didn’t cast someone super young, I don’t think that’s a fault of casting or Alicia, but a decision by the creators. But tbh even if the scenes had been much milder, I wouldn’t have liked to see the ’ ep 2 ‘rooster’ antics if Tom Cullen in his mid 30s was ripping the bed sheets off an 18 year old actress, never mind a younger one. I wouldn’t have been more tuned into Elizabeth’s age and abuse cause I’d be far too preoccupied seeing the actors behind the characters.

So I want to make it very clear since I guess that was opened to being misconstrued, I do not blame Alicia for taking the role and doing her job. It is not Alicia's job to manage the material, ask for rewrites, or do anything other than what she is paid to do, which she is doing. At no point am I blaming Alicia for choices made by the creators and nothing negative I say about the creative decision of the show is meant to be a negative about Alicia. Good? Clear? Great.

As I've said in my post, I haven't watched this show beyond clips. The information I'm getting is information from reviews and history/period drama reviewers I know across social media platforms that I've been engaging with on the subject (and also my mother who is watching the show, is as into the Tudors as I am, and is offering me her takes as she goes along). Take what I say with a grain of salt because I am currently not the audience watching the show (and probably won't be until the first season is finished).

But, all that being said: which is it? Is the show saying that Elizabeth's abuse is being excused by her abuser as her being "mature for her age", the way you mentioned, or is it repeatedly trying to let the audience know that she's "a child", the way you mentioned? And more importantly, my issue isn't about the show "going there" wrt to the abuse and my being upset it's not tame, my issue is that what the show is "going" towards is portraying a man in his forties fucking a fourteen year old in real time, that they're getting away with because they cast actors who have a more similar age gap to Elizabeth and Edward VI than Elizabeth and Thomas Seymour. My issue is that they are using Alicia being a grown woman, and thus not under the purview of things like child pornography laws, to make this as sexy and eroticized and graphic in the worst ways.

Like I said in my OG post, the problem is that the show's apparent mishandling of this abuse (particularly egregious, given how Anya Reiss was really hyping up that they were meant to be handling this sensitively and the end result is........This), combined with Alicia very much looking like an adult woman and not a girl who is meant to be starting this show who's been thirteen for less than half a year, offers ambiguity and thus cover for Seymour for people who aren't well versed in the history and are tuning into this show because they know who Elizabeth is and maybe saw Young Bess back in the day and were curious. They are presenting a scenario where, instead, of seeing someone barely into her teens being abused by a man practically the same age her own mother would have been, they're seeing two adults engaging in a tantalizing push and pull thanks not only to the apparent writing choices, but the choice to have Elizabeth be played by an adult.

On the subject of "I wouldn’t have liked to see the ’ ep 2 ‘rooster’ antics if Tom Cullen in his mid 30s was ripping the bed sheets off an 18 year old actress, never mind a younger one.", yeah, that's kind of my point. No one should be liking anything that's going on, nothing portrayed should be Open To Interpretation, considering how determined they were to hammer into everyone's head in pre-release material that they understood that the Seymour situation was abuse and they were going to sensitively handle it as such. Appropriate casting would have actually helped add to the story they were telling (assuming that's the story they wanted to to tell) by producing visceral shock and disgust and horror in the audience at Elizabeth's treatment at the hands of an adult man. Having it be two adults with the same age gap as my parents cheapens that.

Sorry to talk about GOT again cuz that's a shitshow if I ever saw one but the season 2 throne room scene with Sansa is legit awful to watch, meant to be awful to watch, and emphasizing the point of the scene, that Joffrey is awful and Sansa is in real danger and everyone is too scared of him to intervene save one of our core protagonists Tyrion, enhanced by the fact that Sophie was similar in age to her character (and it was still toned down from its source material due to the actress's age). And there's also things like cuts, filming tricks, editing, the use of body doubles in case things start running the risk, and obviously having appropriate counseling and anything else necessary available to the actress, so that they can avoid breaking the law and avoid causing undo harm to this hypothetical actress while still showcasing the abuse as abuse while having to deal with the fact that they don't get to add in ahistorical graphic sex scenes.

If you think I'm being unfair to Alicia, my apologies, none of these issues are with her and as I said, I think she's a good actress. If you think I'm being unfair to Anya, the rest of the writers, and their casting department (since casting is ultimately up to the creatives), then you are well within your rights to do so. But I am also well within my rights to feel that the casting choices made, compounded by the writing choices made, doesn't sit right with me, causes problems, and ultimately cheapens the tale they've told us they're telling, but failing to actually deliver on because of these factors.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Tender Ch. 1 - Loki x Mute! Reader

Summary: Even though Loki doesn’t understand why the new member of the Avengers should be kind to him of all people, he doesn’t want you to stop either.

Warnings: Loki being depressed, the Avengers being kinda mean, mentions of Torture and Death

Words: ~2100

[Story Masterlist] [All of my Works]

All eyes were on him again.

As soon as Loki would step inside, the previously lively room would fall completely silent. Well, it’s not like he wasn’t used to being the involuntary kill-joy...

Usually, the God of Mischief craved attention, may it be positive or negative - most of the time being the latter. But lately, after months of having all those distrustful and hostile glares piercing holes into him, he’d rather wish for the ground to swallow him whole.

“Umm, so...I gotta go.” Natasha was the first one to flee the unpleasant atmosphere, not even putting the energy into mutter anything else than a cheap excuse on her way out. Clint wordlessly followed her close after, but not without shooting the Odinson one last, spiteful look.

Loki on the other hand was picking on his hands, a nervous habit he had inherited from his mother. As much as he tried to avoid meeting their eyes, the tensioned aura they were emitting making him feel close to breaking down completely - but he would never give them the satisfaction to witness this, he swore to himself.

And yet: Maybe he should just leave. Disappear, forever.

Although he’d never admit, Loki had grown very tired of his life following this stirr path, unable to diverge into a new direction. Everything he did would ultimately bring death and destruction upon mankind, inflicting fear in the hearts of all people.

His whole existence was based on being condemned to fail - just for others to reach their ‘glorius purpose’.

“Great” Tony scoffed. “Now they’re gone. Well done, prince of nothing.” Steve cut his friend off, clearing his throat very exaggeratedly.

The god still hadn’t moved from the doorframe of the conference room, while all others were already sitting on the oval-shaped table. He didn’t got what all that fuss was about. If Steve didn’t insist him to attend this emergency meeting, he’d just have gone about his usual business and avoided everyone as good as he could.

“C’mon, brother” Thor sighed, well knowing that if his brother was to stay in the team, it would ultimatively drive a wedge between them. All that pressure in the air was straining for everyone, including himself. 

Tony on the other hand was pretty chill about everything, aside of being passive-aggressive. This was probably due to their similar coping styles.

Even though his near-death-experience back when he stopped the Chitauri was still eating on his mental health, he’d prefer glossing over it with stupid jokes and overly confident behaviour. “No sassy remark today, Reindeer Games?”

Stark was leaning back in his chair, arms crossed as he rose an eyebrow on the god, who only muttered a hoarse “No...not today.”

Yeah, it was kind of his style to break the unsettling silence through puny comments or self-glorifying speeches, to distract from his own insecurity.

But right now, he was just so damn tired.

Of this planet and it’s people, as well as the humiliating circumstances he had to dwell in. The fact that he was a prisoner at the Stark Tower, amongst his worst enemies. Being forced by his brother to keep up this meaningless act, as if he’d ever be seen as a team member or ally - when in reality, he was but a slave to the people he once ought to reign.

Just like back on Asgard: Never one of them, never belonging. No way to break free - for his true self was something to be loathed.

However, first and foremost the one thing he was especially tired of was himself, for he couldn’t get out of his own skin. Not only could he never be considered a hero, let alone be redeemed.

After all the atrocities he had commited due to Thanos’ torture and the tesseract’s influence,  now that he woke up from that naive dream of power stilling the emptiness in his dark heart, there was nothing left for him - other than to be haunted by his crimes until the mercy of death would overcome him.

“Well” Steve began, slamming his palms on the desk to attract everyone’s attention. “As you all know, we are welcoming a new team member today.”

“They all know?” Of course they wouldn’t let him in on such sensitive information. Not that he minded either way - one Avenger more or less, it didn’t matter how many people hated him in here.

“Please, come on in.”

Loki cleared the entrance when he heared Tony’s words, turning around in anticipation of another dull creature like the Hulk to torment him - but his calm demeanour dropped completely at this unusual sight:

“Y-You?!”

That was simply not possible! The last time he had seen you was almost a year ago, and you were on the brink of death at that!

“For everyone that doesn’t know yet: Her name is Y/N Y/L/N. She is one of the victims HYDRA experimented on, and they succeeded in forming an artificial mutant.”

Steve went on and on explaining about your powers, but Loki’s head had already turned on autopilot, the only thing he could concentrate on being how the hell you of all people ended up here.

All these months, he was desperately trying to get any information about you, all of his hints ultimately leading him to dead ends - and in the end, tragically believing in your imminent death.

The memories were still painfully vivid in his mind: It was his first mission together with the Avengers, at a HYDRA hideout with most likely no civil survivors.

Actually, he had planned to make his escape right when the others engaged in a fight, wandering the hallways of what resembled a torture chamber rather than a laboratory.

On the walls were several instructions, about a serum that might cause a human to mutate if they were exposed to unbearable stress - pain being the most effective method, apparently.

Yet instead of finding anything useful for his personal gain, he found you: A  beautiful woman, yet emaciated and lying in a puddle of her own blood. At first he thought you to be dead just like the others - but as soon as your faint whimpers drang to his ears, he burst the cell you were trapped in open, rushing to your side immediately.

“Shh...” the god scooped you up from the cold stone floor, wrapping his cloak around your broken body. “Everything is alright now. Your savior is here.”

Loki gasped as he felt your hand stroking his cheekbone, even through all your pain and weakness wanting to bid your hero this due respect.

“Hel...you humans are such fragile creatures...” Loki muttered under his breath, cursing his own lack of talent when it came to casting healing spells. “Hang in there, look at me!”

Your eyes were teary and bloodshot, yet not less fit to bring across a message no words ever could: Incredible gratitude, and admiration.

He could tell you were close to passing out when your hand left his face, falling limp to the side. But he held you firmly in his arms, not once stopping to utter sweet words of encouragement as he made his way to the ship, leading you into safety.

“Your world in the balance, and you bargain for one man?”

Those were the words he once directed at Black Widow - but only now he understood her attempts.

Saving one person could never make up for all the lives he had destroyed - and yet he knew that for you, it would mean the world none the less.

In one way or another, with your life at his mercy, he began to finally grasp the preciousness of life, and doing everything in one’s might to protect it.

“Reindeer Games” Tony tapped on his shoulders, making Loki wake from his pondering. “I’d appreciate if you didn’t scare her away on the first day already.”

Oh.

Just now he was noticing his own grim expression, having towered over your much smaller form this whole time with furrowed brows.

“My apologies” was his firm response, but you only shook your head, trying to tell him it was not a big deal.

So this was what you looked like when you’re not imprisoned, he realized when he took in your physique.

Much to his pleasure, all of your wounds had seemingly healed, and you finally gained some much needed weight. Like this, you looked so much more healthier - and most definetly even more bewitching than he remembered you.

If people had let him know, would he have visited your sickbed, aiding you towards health again? Who knows...

Yet somehow, he dwelled in the thought of you being able to lead a happy life now that you were free - which made your decision to seek out the Avengers in wish for more battles even harder for him to accept.

“You are incredibly strong, Lady Y/N” Loki spoke firmly, everyone else rolling their eyes at his usual exaggeration - but you knew he meant every word. “Be sure of my eternal respect.” 

The God of Lies’ eyes widened in excitement when you directed a warm smile at him, knowing for sure that this one was genuine. It wasn’t like those fake smirks the other Avengers gave him out of politeness, or the mocking laughs when they were making fun of or excluding him.

No - that one was just pure affection. And it left him in awe.

“Thank you for saving me back then” you signed, just for Loki shooting you a puzzled look.

“What, I thought the all-tongue knows every language?” Tony yelled, as inconsiderate as always. Thor was quick to explain on his brother’s stead, him still being deeply invested with you. “Every spoken one, yes. ASL is not one of our fortes.”

Usually, Loki had always been a quick thinker. But right now he was to bewildered by your appearance that thinking straight was out of the question.  

What language were they speaking of? And why have you not been saying anything up until now? Maybe his presence was making you uncomfortable, after all? Should he leave on your behalf?

To make it easier for him to understand, you rolled down your turtleneck, revealing the unsighty scar that covered your whole throat.

There were not many people bold enough to come close to the God of Mischief without warning, yet suddenly you simply took his hand and slowly led it to your neck.

How could you be so naive and offer someone like him such a vital spot?! He’ll never get the human philosophy...

And yet, the flabbergasted god hesistantly let his hand run over the scar, while you opened your mouth to no avail - for 11 months already, no tone would leave your vocal cords.

“I’m incredibly sorry...” Loki whispered with a sorrowful tone, while the others just stared in disbelief. “If only I was able to heal this wound back then...”

What a puny god he was...and an even more pathetic wanna-be-hero at that...

He would try to take a few steps back, but you took a hold of his hand, squeezing it with both of yours, that cheerful smile not faltering in the slightest.

“Please, don’t be sad. I’m only alive thanks to you!” Bucky, whose cousin was mute as well, translated what you were signing for Loki. His tone sounded quite irritated, not fitting those meaningful words. “I only wanted to join the Avengers because I want to be just like you. You’re my idol!”

Those words touched him deeply, igniting a flame inside of him he thought long to be defunct. Was it hope?

Of course it was not nearly enough to pull him out of that deep, dark hole he felt trapped in for as long as he could remember - yet somehow, he now felt that it was not impossible to escape.

While the others were cringing at your declaration, making jokes about ‘choosing wrong idols’ or would plainly not believe Loki to have a positive effect on anyone, the two of you would just stare at each other in silent admiration.

Shyly, you signed yet another word for him - and this time, Loki would know what you mean from pure intuition. 

He smiled.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Loki was able to smile again, just thanks to your heartwarming welcome. And he was still blissfully unaware about what effect you could have on him, if he was brave enough to let you close.

One thing was sure: You literally had him wrapped around his finger from the very start.

[merakiaes]

Worse Ways To Die - Oscar “Spooky” Diaz

s

Pairing: Oscar “Spooky” Diaz x reader

Requested: By @mrs-spookyd1az​

Prompts: None. 

Warnings/notes: Possessive, cranky Oscar! Not proofread so I apologize in advance for any possible mistakes. Please let me know what you think, I hope that you like it xx

Wordcount: 3724

Summary: Ruby and Jamal can’t keep their eyes off of you at the pool and Oscar has too much fun with it. However, he doesn’t find it as funny when strangers look at you. 

The time Oscar had both dreaded and hoped for his entire life had come; his dad had been released from prison and come back home.

Cesar was, of course, over the moon to finally get to know his dad, but Oscar, being the one who had been first-hand abandoned to raise his younger brother, was furious and hurt. And you… Living with the Diaz brothers permanently, you didn’t really know how to feel.

The atmosphere in the house wasn’t at all what you were used to. It wasn’t playful and loving anymore. It was tense and hostile, and most of all confusing.

In an attempt to cut down the negative feelings you tried your best to be civil with Ray no matter how angry you were about how bad he had hurt Oscar, but still tried to keep him out of the loop as much as you possibly could in order to make things comfortable for your boyfriend.

He had only been home for a few days, and he and Oscar had already had more fights than you could count on two hands.

You tried your best to help resolve things and find a middle ground for them when they just refused to co-operate, but at the end of the day, no matter if you were the long-term girlfriend of Oscar, it wasn’t any of your business so you didn’t pretend like it was by getting yourself mixed up into their conflicts.

The only thing you could do was be there for him, open your arms to him when he needed you and listen to his rants and make sure he knew that his feelings were justified and validated.

He had been a lot less openly loving toward you since Ray’s return, but you knew it was only because he was still trying to figure out what to feel, and you knew it wasn’t because of you. He was tense and irritated against pretty much anyone these days, and you were the only thing keeping him from blowing up.

He wasn’t just angry that he had waltzed back into their lives as if nothing had ever happened, however. More than anything, he was jealous of the way Cesar looked at him, like he was some kind of hero, despite the fact that it was he who had given up in his dreams to raise him.

You really felt his pain when you had to watch him watch them interact. More than anything, you wanted to sit Cesar down and tell him all of the things Oscar had ever done for him and compare them to all of the things Ray hadn’t, but you knew you couldn’t do that.

He needed to figure it out on his own, even if the only way to do so meant he would get his heart crushed like Oscar had all those years ago. It wouldn’t be pretty, but it would be necessary.

Today was one of the few days Cesar wasn’t attached at the hip with his dad.

You and Oscar had been sitting around in the kitchen when Cesar had emerged from his bedroom dressed in a tank and short, with a towel slung over his shoulder, telling you he was heading for the pool.

And in a last-moment decision and desperate attempt to connect with his mano again – although he would never admit it - Oscar had decided that you would go with him. And it was a good idea, as it would mean Oscar could relax some.

So, now here you were, getting out of the car that you had just parked outside the pool.

Cesar was the first one to get out, barely even sparing you a glance before heading off, going ahead to meet up with his friends inside.

While he hurried away, you and Oscar took your time, hands intertwined and swinging slowly between your bodies as you walked toward the entrance at a slow pace, your things packed into a bag that was slung across Oscar’s shoulder.

To avoid having to change inside the locker rooms, you were already dressed in your bikini, having thrown on a simple tank top and a pair on top for the car ride.

Oscar was already dressed too, in his black swimming trunks, a pair of flipflops and a blank t-shirt, so the only thing inside the bag hanging from his shoulder were two towels, your book and sunscreen. You didn’t really need much more for a day at the pool.

A minute later, you were walking through the people inside, heading straight for the spot where Cesar and the others had set up camp.

Jamal and Ruby were sitting in sunchairs, seemingly handing out sandwiches in exchange for money. Jasmine was sitting in the sun and Monse was doing the same, although lying down on a towel, and Cesar was sitting beside her, now only dressed in his shorts.

Cesar wasted no time in raising a hand in a wave, smiling at you as you approached even though you had seen him only two minutes ago. His wave alerted the others of your presence, their eyes averting to you.

“Sup, fools.” Oscar was the first to talk, dropping the bag down on the ground a meter away from them, claiming the spot as yours and barely sparing them a glance as he opened the bag and grabbed the towels, starting to put them down on the ground for you.

While he busied himself with that, you took the time to greet them more properly, smiling at them and raising your hand in a wave. “Hey, guys.”

Jasmine and Monse greeted you from their spots and Cesar smiled, while Jamal and Ruby stared at you with looks that you could only describe as the ones the guys in high school used to give you when they overestimated their game when trying to get in your pants.

It was much cuter when it was Jamal and Ruby, though. They were younger than you and it wasn’t a secret that they both harbored some kind of horny teenage crush on you, something Oscar wasn’t all too fond of.

But you found it adorable, and amusing more than anything.

Jamal puckered his lips out slightly, without a doubt in an attempt to make himself more attractive, while Ruby gave you a confident head-nod, a lazy smirk playing on his lips. “Sup, mamita.” The overly cocky boy greeted you, and you couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow in surprise.

You knew he had the hots for you but that wasn’t at all what you had expected. Still, an amused expression fell upon both yours and Cesar’s faces as you exchanged a glance.

But Oscar didn’t find it half as amusing, looking up from the bag and raising a challenging eyebrow, dropping the bag again and standing back up to his full height. “You trying to move in on my girl, pequeño?”

Ruby and Jamal widen their eyes, share a glance before looking back to your boyfriend and shaking their heads violently.

“No, no, I wouldn’t even think about hitting on your girl, Osca- Mr. Spooky, sir. She’s yours.” Ruby quickly defended himself, and Jamal rapidly nodded his head.

“He would never!” He agreed.

Oscar gave them an amused smirk, nodding his head. “That’s right. She’s mine, and if I see you little putas checking her out-“

“We would never!” Jamal repeated, a feign shocked look on his face and their eyes as big as saucers at this point.

“No!” Ruby joined in. “We don’t even find her attractive!”

Jamal’s head whipped around to his best friend and his hand flew out to slap him on his shoulder as a disapproving sound left his lips.

Oscar’s eyebrows shot up, eyes narrowing into slits and his feet taking him a step closer to the two boys. “Are you calling mi reina ugly?”

Jamal let out a sound resembling a whine, pushing himself back into his chair while Ruby was left to fend for himself. “No!” He quickly denied. “She’s really hot! I mean beautiful, I mean, she’s not our type.” He cleared his throat toward the end, trying to play it cool.

“She’s everyone’s type.” A feign offended look overcame Oscar’s face again, causing the panic to return to Ruby and Jamal’s in an instant.

“I-“

You couldn’t deny the exchange was funny as hell to witness, your boyfriend’s teasing making it hard for you to keep your laughter in. But you managed to hold it back in the end and hit him in the back of his head at the sight of the genuinely terrified looks on their faces, swallowing your laughter.

“Oscar, stop messing with them.” You scolded in a lighthearted manner and he turned to you, giving you a smirk while the two boys were still looking about ready to piss themselves.

They didn’t relax until Oscar turned his back on them, turning his attention elsewhere. 

He grabbed the end of his tank top and pulled it over his head without another word, sitting down on one of the towels, the one closest to the boys.

You followed his example and sat down, still dressed in your clothes, and grabbed the sunscreen from the bag, popping the lid open and nudging your boyfriend’s arm.

“Turn around.” You instructed, causing him to turn his head to look at you.

He spotted the pink bottle in your hand and instantly shook his head, turning his head back forward stubbornly. “No. You’re not putting that shit on me.” He refused. “It smells like flowers.”

Rolling your eyes, you ignored him, pouring some into your palm and rubbing your hands together. “You know you burn easily.” You argued. “Stop being a perra and turn around, or I’m leaving.”

Glancing at you, he scoffed, but didn’t protest any further, turning his back to you. “Puta.” He swore.

In return, you slapped your sunscreen-covered hands onto his back, smirking when he flinched from the cold. “Pendejo.”

“Pineapple.” Came the voice of Jamal from beside Oscar and the two of you, along with everyone else, turned to look at him with raised eyebrows, causing him to look around at you, confused. “What? I thought we were naming things starting with P.”

“Idiot.” Cesar laughed and you just shook your head, starting to rub the sunscreen into the skin of Oscar’s back, shoulders and arms.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but despite the fact that the lotion smelled like an old lady, he enjoyed the feeling of your hands kneading his tense muscles. His eyes closed and his forehead leaned on his arms that were in turn resting on top of his knees.

Once your hands were close to dry and every inch of his upper body had been covered, you pressed a kiss to his neck and turned to his younger brother who was sitting a small distance away with a smile.

“Do you want me to do your back, too?” You asked, the motherly instinct coming automatically at this point. You had, after all, helped care for him ever since you met Oscar.

Cesar smiled and nodded his head. “Sure.” He said and stood up, walking over to where you were sitting.

You scooted back to make room for him in front of you on your towel and smirked at Oscar, who was already looking at you, when his little brother sat down with no protest.

You raised an eyebrow. “You see that?” You asked, squirting some more sunscreen into your palm and repeating the procedure. “Your brother doesn’t complain like a little bitch.”

Oscar shook his head in annoyance, standing back up. “Whatever. I’m hitting the pool. You coming?” He looked down at you, and you shook your head with a smile, not taking his attitude to heart.

“I’ll be there in a bit.” You promised, finishing putting the sunscreen on Cesar and putting the bottle back down into the bag. “I want to lay in the sun for a bit first.”

He nodded his head, leaning down to give you a quick peck to the lips before walking away. 

Cesar stood up too, going back to his spot beside Monse, and you took that as the perfect time to undress, standing up and beginning to unbutton your shorts.

Beside you, Ruby’s hand immediately flew down to his crotch where he adjusted his shorts, his eyes flickering between you and the pool repeatedly. “Oh no, it’s happening.”

Jamal, also trying his hardest to avert his gaze hit his friend upside the head. “Control yourself, be strong!”

But he was fucked too when he glanced back to you only to see you pulling your tank top over your head, your stomach toned as you stretched your arms up, the real goods being revealed. 

“Oh no.” He whimpered, and Jasmine glared at them from her spot.

“You guys, don’t be disrespectful.” She scolded them in a hushed voiced, keeping it low as to not draw your attention where you were now busying yourself with smearing sunscreen over your chest.

The two boys didn’t even seem to hear her, their mouths falling agape and their eyes widening at the sight. 

Cesar watched the scene unfold from his spot, shaking his head with amusement, knowing that his brother would quite literally kill them if he came back right then.

So he took matters into his own hands, deciding to protect his eventually-to-be sister-in-law from the prying eyes of his friends by throwing one of his flipflops at them, causing them to look at him just as you turned your attention back to them.

“Who wants to do my back?” You questioned with a bright smile, holding the bottle up for all to see and being completely oblivious to what had just been happening.

Jamal and Ruby were up on their feet in no time, their hands stretching into the air. “Me!” They spoke simultaneously, causing you to raise an eyebrow.

“I’ll do it.” Cesar stood up before they could say anything else, walking over to where you were standing and shoving his friends back into their seats as he passed them.

You thanked him when he took the bottle from you, pulling your hair over your shoulder and holding your arms over your breasts to keep your top in place as Cesar undid the knot at your back and wasted no time in starting to put on the sunscreen.

He was pretty much the only one who could touch you without Oscar throwing a fit, he knew, so even though they would be mad at him for a week for robbing them of the opportunity to touch you, he had just done them a huge favor.

Lifesaving, really. 

Once he finished doing your back, he tied your top back up and you adjusted the front before turning to smile at him. “Gracias.” You thanked him, kissing his cheek, and he nodded with a smile of his own.

He only got the time to make his way back to his original spot before you were approached by some other guy, the stranger waltzing up to you with pure confidence in his step.

Kind as you were, you smiled at him, thinking he was just going to pass by, but instead, he stopped right in front of you, causing you to raise an eyebrow.

“Yes?”

The guy raised a hand to scratch his neck, looking at you from through his sunglasses. “I’m sorry if this is extremely forward but I saw you from across the pool and just thought you were so beautiful, I couldn’t stay away. Would it be possible to get your number?”

He flashed a near-flawless smile, but of course, it wasn’t Oscar’s. Now, his smile could make you weak at the knees.

You offered him a sad smile back. “No, I’m sorry. I have a boyfriend.” You answered. “But I’m flattered.”

Letting people down was always hard for you. Not because you were interested or felt bad for them, but because you hated being put in awkward positions. Luckily, this guy didn’t seem to be a creep, but rather a decent human being, which always made things easier.

His face fell. “Oh, damn.” He swore, letting his hand drop from his neck. “Where is he now then? Your boyfriend, I mean.”

“He’s… around.” You told him, not even sure yourself. The place was crowded on this hot day and he could have been anywhere. “And he’s really protective so you should go before he comes back.” You added, knowing that Oscar would make a bigger deal out of it than needed if he came back and found you talking to some other guy.

And just your luck, he chose just this time to return, his form appearing behind the guy and heading straight for you, a glare already resting on his face and his fists clenched at his sides, showing you that he had already caught sight of you.

“Yeah, actually you should go right now.” Jamal agreed with a nervous laugh, looking behind him.

As everyone else’s eyes also found Oscar’s quickly approaching form, the guy you still hadn’t learned the name of turned around too, eyes growing wide with anxiety as he caught sight of the tall and muscular cholo coming straight for him.

“Who’s this?” Oscar wasted no time in getting up in his face as he reached you. “Who are you? Were you talking to my girl? Because we’re gonna have a problem if you were, blanco.”

You hurried to step in between them, the guy taking a step back out of fear. “He was just leaving.” You told him, holding him in place.

The guy nodded his head, agreeing with you and taking another step back. “Yeah, man. I’m sorry.” He turned to you then, offering you a quick nervous smile. “It was nice to meet you.”

Returning his smile, you nodded, fastening your grip on Oscar’s arms as he jerked forward slightly. “It was nice to meet you, too. Bye.”

And with that, he turned around and walked away. 

Oscar’s eyes followed his form all the way until he was out of his line of sight, and once he was gone, he tore himself out of your grip, his body dripping with water.

“Nice to meet you, huh?” He questioned with a glare. “You interested in other guys now?”

You only rolled your eyes, far too used to his jealous behavior. And it was even more understandable now with the anger he was building up with his dad being back. “Calm down. I’m not worried about you having side chicks so you shouldn’t either.”

“Bitch, the only side chicks I’ll ever have is your other personalities.” He fired back.

“Funny.” You glared, not batting an eye at the insult. “Calm down before you do something you regret.”

He glared back, taking a step closer to you and taking you into his arms. “I think I might need some motivation not to kill anyone.” He said, nuzzling his face into your neck.

The glare on your face instantly fell and a chuckle left your lips at the feeling of his beard tickling your skin. “I can’t fuck you if you’re in prison, papi.” You answered, hands coming up to hold on to his upper arms while his roamed your waist, the two of you not caring in the slightest that you were in public.

Ruby and Jamal watched from behind you, now munching on a sandwich each in a desperate attempt to keep their cool, eyes wide as your words reached their ears.

“God, that’s hot.”

Oscar’s face instantly whipped up from your neck, eyes landing on Ruby at the sound of his voice, the two boys jumping in their seats and letting out sounds of surprise.

But you were right behind him, raising one of your hands to grab a hold of his chin and turning his head to look at you with a glare. “What’d I tell you, huh? Leave them alone.” You instructed, feeling his body tense against yours.

You leaned in and pecked his lips chastely, moving your hands to his where they were resting on the small of your back and prying them away, taking them in yours.

“Let’s go for a swim.” You said, and he said nothing, simply letting you drag him away from the younglings.

As you walked away, his hand found its way down to your ass, squeezing the flesh while glaring at Jamal and Ruby over his shoulder.

The two of them watched with wide eyes, unable to tear their eyes away from his no matter how scared they were, and their eyes only widened further when Oscar raised his other hand to his eyes and used his pointer and middle finger to do an ‘I see you’-gesture at them.

Noticing what he was doing, you slapped his chest and forced him to turn back forward, and only then did Ruby and Jamal let out the breaths they had no idea they had been holding until then, the sight causing Cesar to break out into laughter.

They turned to him, both of them sporting a furious glare each. “How can you be laughing right now?!” Ruby exclaimed, eyes struck with fear. “He’s going to kill us!”

Cesar only nodded as his laughter died down to an easy chuckle, his eyebrows raising in agreement. “If you keep looking at (Y/N) like she’s a piece of meat then yeah, probably. And it won’t be painless.”

“Oh, man.” Jamal cried, forcing the entirety of the rest of his sandwich into his mouth, causing the rest of his words to come out muffled. “I’m too young to die.”

For the first time that entire time, Monse, who had been sunbathing peacefully on her towel alongside Jasmine, sat up and removed her sunglasses, looking at them.

“Well, there’s a simple solution.” She deadpanned, holding herself up on her elbows.

Jamal and Ruby turned to her with a mixture of doubt and desperation in their eyes, asking. “What?”

She simply shrugged her shoulders, giving them a sarcastic and annoyed smile. “Just don’t look.” She answered, and with that, put her sunglasses on again and laid back down, leaving the boys to look at Cesar, who simply gave them a shrug and grin in agreement.

They knew it was the only solution, but for two horny teenage boys, keeping their eyes to themselves was easier said than done, and at second thought, maybe it wouldn’t be the worst way to die.

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

What’s In A Name (momceit fic)

Rating: teen

Word count: 4863

Pairings: all platonic (except for one bit at the end that you can ignore if you want)

Warnings: Remus typical stuff, graphic threats against animals (that he takes back later), minor body horror (? He gives himself an extra finger, I don’t know if that counts), one (1) sexual innuendo. Roman being a bit of an asshole

——Start——

Well this is an interesting development, Logic thinks to himself as he watches Creativity stalk around the room, inspecting every nook and cranny as if the Dark Sides are going to be lurking in between the books in the bookcase.

This morning — five minutes ago to be precise — Logic, Morality, and Creativity awoke on the couch in the Dark Side’s common room. To make matters worse, the three of them had been transformed into cats. Creativity was a pure white Persian, Morality was a soft gray Scottish Fold, and Logic himself was a Siamese.

There hadn’t been any sign of any Dark Sides lurking nearby, nor any indication as to how the three Light Sides had ended up here as cats, but Creativity still insisted on inspecting their surroundings. Logic was fine with letting him, and instead preferred to make his observations from the relative safety of the couch before expanding out to the room beyond. Morality, it seemed, was not too concerned about anything other than the fact that he was a cat, preferring to groom himself and bouncing around the couch cushions excitedly.

“My brother is behind this! I know he is! This foul trick has his name written all over it!” Creativity hisses. Interestingly enough, Logic can understand him perfectly despite the fact that Creativity is speaking in cat language, and Logic had not known cat language before this point.

And Logic has to disagree with his hypothesis that The Duke is behind this. The Duke may be chaotic and impulsive, but this ‘prank’ is far too harmless to be his style. They are not in any immediate danger despite being in unfamiliar territory, there is no trace of gore, nothing R-rated about any of this really. It’s Logic’s opinion that the perpetrator of this predicament is not Creativity’s ‘twin’.

But Logic isn’t about to tell Creativity that. Creativity will get there on his own, given time.

“Isn’t this cool, Logic?” Morality bounces. “We’re adorable, and so cuddly! Do you want to cuddle, Logic?”

“This is not fun, Morality!” Creativity chides from his position inspecting the coffee table. “We are in enemy territory! We could be attacked at any minute!”

“What’s going to attack cats as cute as us?” Morality asks, innocently.

A subtle clicking — somewhat reminiscent of someone walking in heels, but not quite — comes from the top of the stairs and Morality’s question seems to be answered as something comes their way.

Creativity strikes a protective stance against whatever is coming down the stairs. Logic, too, feels a bit of apprehension about whatever is coming their way as it clearly isn’t something walking on human legs, though it does sound like it is something that is walking down the stairs.

Morality clearly does not share his companions’ concerns as he skips past Creativity and bounds towards the stairs to greet whatever is coming down. Creativity hisses a warning at him, but it falls on deaf ears.

Morality makes it to the stairs and looks up to greet the thing coming down, but as soon as he sets eyes on it, his posture changes from excited to terrified.

“SPIDER!” He squeaks as he shoots back past Creativity and scrambles under the couch.

Spider? Logic thinks. How can a spider make such a loud noise?

His questions are answered a second later as a rather large, rather spidery form reaches the bottom of the stairs.

“Kitty?” It asks.

A second glance proves that it is not, in fact, a giant spider, but rather a young boy - maybe about five - that happens to have four rather large spider legs protruding from his back that he seems to be able to walk with. On his spider legs, the boy’s human legs dangle about a foot and a half off the ground, making his total height around five feet, shorter than any of them are in their regular forms, but significantly taller than them as cats.

Other than the four spider legs, and the six smaller black spider eyes underneath his regular human eyes, the boy looks about the same as Thomas did at that age, with a few differences here and there that every Side has, such as the fact that his hair is purple, and has heterochromia, making one eye green, and the other inhumanly purple. Either way, it’s clear that this boy is a Side. And a rather new Side at that.

Logic doesn’t remember another Side forming, but he supposes that if this Side started out in the Dark Side, Deceit likely wouldn’t have informed them of his existence.

“Kitty?” The boy asks again. He looks around the room and seems to catch sight of Logic and Creativity for the first time. “Thwee kitties!”

Despite the obvious excitement in his face, the boy’s voice stays calm and quiet, as if he’s making a conscious effort not to scare them. Interesting behavior for a child.

“Begone foul creature!” Creativity hisses at the new Side even though the boy can’t understand him.

Logic just watches him curiously. They don’t know who he is or what function he serves, but as he’s just a child, it’s unlikely that he is of any threat to the three of them, even in cat form.

The boy looks startled by Creativity’s hostilities, and seems to realize for the first time that he’s standing on four long spider legs rather than his two human ones.

“Sowwy,” he says softly as he slowly lowers himself onto his human legs and folds his spider legs up against his back. For a second, Logic thinks the legs will just rest against his back, but the legs actually fade all together, and a moment later, the extra eyes do too.

Curious. Logic knows that Deceit has snake scales that cover a large area of his skin, and The Duke has tentacles that can solidify into arms and legs when he wants to, but he doesn’t know of either of them being able to hide their animal traits completely. Perhaps it is unique to this Side.

Creativity continues to take an aggressive stance, so the boy carefully gives him a wide berth as he makes his way over to the couch.

“Stay away from them!” Creativity growls as the boy slowly peaks under the couch.

“I’m sowwy I scawed you, kitty,” the Side apologizes to Morality. “Cweativity says my spidew wegs are cweepy, and I know not evewyone wikes cweepy.”

“I have never seen this Side in my life!” Creativity huffs dramatically.

“I believe he means your brother,” Logic sighs. It comes out as an audible meow, drawing the boy’s attention to Logic, the only cat that doesn’t seem disturbed by his presence.

“Hewwo,” the boy says to Logic. The boy blinks once, slowly “I love you.”

Logic’s brain stutters at the admission. The boy had, of course, probably just learned somewhere that that was how to show affection to a cat, and didn’t not mean to say that he loved Logic, but still…

Logic returns the gesture. “I love you.”

“LOGIC!” Creativity yowls.

The boy ignores him in favor of extending his hand towards Logic. Logic flinches a little and the boy stops moving his hand. The hand is a few inches from Logic, palm down, close enough that Logic could easily stretch his head out to touch it, but far enough away to not be in his personal space.

After a moment, Logic stretches his neck out in order to sniff the proffered hand. The boy stays perfectly still, watching Logic carefully, hope shining in his eyes. Instincts take over and Logic licks the boy’s fingers before nuzzling his head against the hand. “I trust you.”

The boy gasps, delighted.

“LOGIC!” Creativity yowls again, and again, he is ignored.

“You’we a nice kitty, awen’t you?” The boy asks as he starts moving his fingers to scratch at Logic’s head.

Logic can’t help but move his head, trying to maximize the pleasant contact. “Please never stop petting me.”

Being a cat must be different than being a Side. Usually, Logic isn’t overly affectionate, and is often uncomfortable with the casual contact Morality and Creativity often initiate, but as a cat, Logic can’t seem to get enough contact.

“Oh!” The boy exclaims in shock, his fingers stutter over Logic’s head for a moment before returning to their previous rhythm. “Hewwo.”

Logic opens his eyes to find that Morality has left the protection of the bottom side of the couch in favor of sitting directly in the boy’s lap. The boy offers his free hand to Morality the same way he had with Logic, but Morality skips sniffing it and goes straight for headbutting his hand.

“I’m sorry I was scared of you, kiddo, you’re not scary.”

“Morality! Not you too!” Creativity laments. Logic honestly can’t see what issue Creativity could possibly have with the young Side. He gave fantastic scratchies, why would anyone have a problem with him?

Vaguely, Logic registers the sounds of footsteps coming down the stairs, but he’s much too preoccupied with the boy petting him to really care.

“Halt foul snake!” Creativity hisses.

Logic flinches as he finally registers that a second Dark Side has entered the common room, but is quickly calmed and distracted by the boy continuing to pet him.

“Anxiety,” Deceit says, sounding a mixture of amused and concerned. “Where did you find these cats?”

“Mama! They was in the wiving woom when I came down!” The boy - Anxiety? - says happily. “These two is nice! That one’s mean. Can we keep them?”

Creativity huffs indignantly. “We’re not pets!”

Deceit chuckles. “You even want to keep the mean one?”

Anxiety nods seriously. “He’s theiw fwiend.” He says, as if that is reason enough to keep a cat that clearly doesn’t like him.

Deceit chuckles again, and somewhere in the back of Logic’s mind he realizes that he’s never seen Deceit be this genuinely nice to anyone, even The Duke.

“We can’t keep them until we try to find their owners, my little spiderling.” Anxiety’s face drops in disappointment.

“They have ownews?” He asks quietly, hands stilling.

“No, no, we’re all yours!” Morality purrs, headbutting Anxiety’s hand so he’ll continue petting them.

“MORALITY!” Creativity hisses. He’s moved fully under the coffee table in order to best protect himself against the two Dark Sides.

“They might,” Deceit answers gently, pulling one glove off and holding his naked hand up seriously. “I’ll go ask the neighbors after breakfast, but if the cats aren’t theirs then I promise you can keep them.”

“Yay!” Anxiety yells loudly, startling Logic for a moment. Morality doesn’t seem at all perturbed as he continues to push into Anxiety’s hand.

“What’s the shortstack cheering about?” The Duke asks as he suddenly appears by the television. “Did my brother bite the dust? Or maybe Thomas has finally decided to go to Walmart wearing nothing but a speedo!”

Creativity hisses at him.

“CATS!” The Duke gasps. “Ooh we can peel their skin off to see their muscles and internal organs and just peel them apart piece by piece until they’re just a kitty cat skeleton!”

Morality flinches at the idea.

“NOOOOO!” Anxiety screeches, suddenly pulling Logic and Morality as close to his chest as he can. “NONONONONONO!”

It takes Logic perhaps a little too long to realize that Anxiety, true to his name, is having an anxiety attack, but his air is rather restricted at the moment so you can’t really blame him.

Anxiety’s breathing is shallow, and labored as he inhales and exhales around his screams; black tears run down his face, and a few drip onto Logic’s head, probably staining his cream fur gray; and he’s shaking violently and uncontrollably. And being in his death grip, Logic is quite uncomfortable, and Morality seems to be panicking almost as much as Anxiety is.

“NONONONONONONO!”

“Fix this!” Deceit hisses at Dark Creativity.

Dark Creativity seems to stumble over himself for a second before deciding on a course of action. He slides to the ground in front of Anxiety, which only causes the young Side to grip the cats tighter.

“Hey, uh, Anxy?” He asks, uncharacteristically soft for him. “I was just joking, I’m not gonna hurt the cats, I swear.”

“You’re- you’re not?” Anxiety sniffles, tears never slowing, but his breathing evens out a little bit.

“I’m not,” The Duke promises.

“Pink pwomise?” Anxiety asks, tears finally stopping.

“Double pinky promise!” The Duke declares, holding out his hand that seems to have two pinky fingers on it. Logic’s pretty sure the hand only had one pinky finger a moment ago.

Anxiety giggles and lets go of Logic so that he can wrap one of his pinkies around both of The Duke’s. “No take backs.”

“None at all, else penalty of death!” The Duke crows happily. “So do the cats have names?”

“He can’t name the cats until we figure out where they came from!” Deceit scolds from the kitchen where he’s preparing breakfast. “We don’t want him to get too attached!”

“Of course not!” The Duke yells back before dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “But do they have names?”

Anxiety giggles and answers just as quietly. “This one is Wogan!” He says, running a hand from Logic’s head all the way down his body.

Logic blinks slowly, then closes his eyes and pushes his head into Anxiety’s hand. “This is acceptable.”

“This one is Patton!”

“I love it, kiddo!” Morality — Patton — purrs even harder than he already had been.

“And that one's Woman!” The Duke turns to look at the Persian cat underneath the coffee table. Creativity hisses as soon as The Duke makes eye contact.

“Not very friendly is he?” The Duke asks. “I’m not allowed to hurt him either?”

“Nope!” Anxiety declares happily.

“Breakfast!” Deceit calls from the kitchen. “Don’t bring the cats to the table!”

Anxiety pouts, but he does as the older Side instructs and leaves Patton and Logan on the couch. “I’ll be wight back.”

“Take your time, kiddo! Eating a healthy breakfast is important!” Patton meows after him.

“Are you two insane!?” Roman hisses as soon as Anxiety and The Duke are gone. “We aren’t pets! We can’t just live here as his cats forever!”

“I believe Roman is right,” Logan concedes. “We cannot fulfill our functions in this manor, which would be very detrimental to Thomas.”

“But Anxiety loves us,” Patton pouts at the same time Roman hisses “that’s not my name!”

“Regardless of Anxiety’s feelings, we must put Thomas’s well-being first. It is our job, after all,” Even as Logan says it, a funny feeling fills his stomach. He hypothesizes the source to be guilt over taking away the cats that Anxiety so clearly loves, but there’s nothing he can do. They are Sides, not cats, and they have functions they must maintain to keep Thomas alive and happy, and Thomas is always their first priority.

“But Anxiety will be so sad if we just disappear,” Patton continues to protest, but Logan can see in his eyes that he knows Logan is right.

“Who cares what Anxiety thinks?” Roman snorts. “He’s not our friend! He is one of them, a bad guy. He may be a child now, but anxiety is a bad thing. It ruins creative whimsy, prevents people from going after opportunities, and is an all around bummer! We shouldn’t be nice to the source of misery!”

Patton begins to cry in earnest now, loud pathetic mewls leaving his mouth as he does.

“-I’ll go check.” Someone says from the dining room.

“Someone is coming,” Logan warns, causing Roman to tense, but Patton doesn’t stop crying.

“What’s wrong, kitty?” Deceit walks into the room, crouching carefully in front of the couch.

Roman hisses and darts back under the coffee table.

“Is he mean to you?” Deceit rubs a gloved finger against Patton’s head comfortingly. “Where did you come from, hmm? The imagination? Surely you’re not Creativity’s creations, but maybe the other Creativity? Or do the Light Sides keep cats now?”

Deceit continues to rub at Patton’s head, and eventually, the moral Side relaxes into the touch.

“I’ll have to give you back, won’t I? The Light Sides hate us enough without us stealing their cats… Anxiety is going to be so disappointed.” Deceit sighs, pushing himself up into standing position. “It can totally be helped, I suppose. I can definitely conjure convincingly lifelike cats, and Creativity has a knack for creating… child-friendly creatures.”

Deceit continues to mutter to himself as he makes his way back to the breakfast table with the other Dark Sides.

“At least he’s taking us back to our side,” Roman grumbles as Deceit walks away.

“There is still the problem that when he goes to the Light Side, he will not find anyone,” Logan points out as he begins grooming himself, stopping a moment later to ponder that instinct.

“I don’t want to go!” Patton whines.

“I am sorry, Patton,” Logan apologizes. He decides to just give into his instincts and begins grooming Patton instead. “But the best thing for Thomas is for us to be back in our proper place, in our proper forms.”

“Can I go wiff you to the Wight Side?” Anxiety asks, alerting the Light Sides to the approaching Dark Sides.

“I’m sorry, Anxiety,” Deceit says. “But I would prefer you not meet them yet.”

“Why?” Anxiety asks. He returns to his previous seat by the couch, and absentmindedly starts petting Patton when the Moral Side climbs back into his lap.

“Because the neighbors can be…” Deceit pauses to consider his next words.

Logan finds himself very curious to see what Deceit thinks of them. He’s never thought about it before. He views Deceit as a necessary attribute, but as a Side, Logan finds him to be overly dramatic and difficult to deal with. He views The Duke as a harmless nuisance as the Side has no real control over Thomas’s actions, only some thoughts, but he knows that Patton and Roman view him much more harshly. He’s never stopped to consider how the Dark Sides view them in return.

“...mean,” Deceit finally says.

Patton visibly deflates, no doubt hurt that he hasn’t been as nice to the Dark Sides as he could have been.

“SLANDER!” Roman hisses.

“Oh,” Anxiety says quietly. He stares at Patton, still seated in his lap, before turning back to the older Side. “Then why awe we giving them theiw cats back?”

“Don’t poke sleeping bears,” is all Deceit says.

“Always poke sleeping bears!” The Duke insists. “They get super mad and try to bite your hand off! It’s fun!”

Anxiety stares at The Duke with a mixture of fear and nausea.

“Thank you, Creativity,” Deceit drawls. “That was very helpful.”

“Do the Wight Sides bite?” Anxiety demands nervously, looking frantically between the two older Sides.

“Only when they’re being k-”

Deceit snaps and one of The Dukes hands flies up to cover his mouth, effectively cutting off whatever he was about to say.

“No, darling,” he sits on the ground and opens his arms. Anxiety considers the offer for a moment before removing Patton from his lap and snuggling up as close to Deceit as he can. “It was a figure of speech. The Light Sides do not bite.”

“But they’we mean,” Anxiety says quietly.

Deceit suddenly has four more arms that he wraps around Anxiety.

Logan startles. He hadn’t realized that Deceit had six arms. Perhaps he should try spending more time with the Dark Sides as there were clearly several things about them that he was unaware of.

“So am I,” Deceit hums. Personally, Logan isn’t sure how that is supposed to be reassuring, but Anxiety seems to think it is.

“You’ww be back?”

“Of course, spiderling.”

“Okay,” Anxiety whispers. He pulls away from the hug and immediately runs upstairs, never looking back at the cats.

Deceit watches him go with a sigh. “Why did you have to come here?” He asks the cats rhetorically.

“Sorry,” Patton tries to say, but Deceit only hears a meow.

Deceit sighs again before scooping Patton up with one pair of hands. “Let’s just get this over with, shall we?”

He grabs Logan with a second pair of hands, and finally grabs Roman with the third pair. Roman struggles, but Deceit keeps a tight grip on him.

Logan is smarter than Roman. While Roman struggles and ensures that Deceit has a tight grip on him, Logan fully allows Deceit to carry him, lulling the lying Side into a false sense of security. As soon as Deceit enters the Light Side of the Mindscape, Logan makes his move.

With his cat agility and flexibility, he pushes off of Deceits chest, easily breaking the unsuspecting Dark Side’s hold, and darts towards the stairs as quickly as he can, making it to the top before Deceit finally registers what had just happened and starts yelling after him.

“What the- GET BACK HERE!”

Logan ignores him as he runs for his room, theorizing that he’ll be able to change himself back into his own domain.

The door gives him slight pause as he realizes that he’s unable to open it — only mentally though, physically, he’s still running straight towards it. Luckily, the door responds to him, and a cat-flap that he’s quite sure has never been there before opens allowing him entrance.

Almost immediately, Logan is back in his proper form, necktie and all. Just as I suspected.

After a quick look in the mirror to make sure that he is fully presentable, Logan sinks out to the common room where he can still hear Deceit yelling after him.

“Deceit,” Logan appears behind Deceit, causing the lying Side to startle, and involuntary hiss escaping his lips as he quickly spins to face the newcomer.

Logan makes sure to give him a suitably surprised yet reserved look, as if he had been unaware that Deceit was in the common room.

Roman takes advantage of Deceit’s shock to escape his grasp as Logan had earlier. Roman runs for the stairs, but this time, Deceit just lets him, choosing to focus on Logan instead.

The Dark Side is quick to retract his extra arms, and mask his surprise with indifference, and Logan politely doesn’t mention either.

“We didn’t find these on our Side and we weren’t wondering if they were yours,” Deceit sneers, holding Patton out towards Logan as if the cat disgusted him, though Logan is well aware of the lie.

“They are, thank you,” Logan says, accepting Patton from Deceit. “Creativity and Morality have been searching for them in the imagination all day.”

Patton squirms in Logan’s arms until Logan allows him to climb onto his shoulder.

Deceit’s eyes narrow, and Logan realizes, a little too late, that Deceit can tell when someone’s lying. “There should have been three cats.”

“The third cat didn’t run away as soon as we got here, and isn’t lurking around here somewhere,” Deceit answers, mercifully letting the lie go

“Well thank you for returning them, Deceit, it was very decent of you,” Logan says. He thinks the comment is innocuous, but Deceit immediately goes on the defensive.

“Right, because the bessst we can do is desssssscent,” he hisses, his snake features becoming more pronounced with his aggravation. “Heaven forbid we ever do anything nisssssce.”

“I did not mean-”

“Goodbye, Logic. It’sss been sssso much fun.” Deceit sinks out before Logan can respond.

“I suppose that that did not go as well as I had hoped,” Logan says to Patton.

Patton meows and licks Logan’s nose.

Logan blinks. “You are aware that I know that you are not a cat, correct?”

Patton meows again.

“Is he gone?” Roman calls as he comes bounding down the stairs, back to his normal self.

“Yes, Roman, Deceit has left.”

“Okay, first of all Teach, just because Anxiety called me that doesn’t mean it’s my name. Second of all…”

Patton jumps off Logan's shoulder and makes his way to his room, at a slower pace than either of the others had gone.

He has so much to do.

~~~

Deceit does his best to school his features before returning to the Dark Sides’ common room. It would do no good for Anxiety to see him upset. He doesn’t want Anxiety to be afraid of the Light Sides, doesn’t want them to have that power over him already.

Once he’s got his face under control, he enters the common room. He’s greeted by the sight of Creativity sitting criss cross on the couch, Anxiety in his lap. Both of them are clearly waiting for him.

Anxiety’s eyes fill with tears as soon as he sees Deceit some back without the cats. Creativity frowns.

“They belonged to the boring Sides?” Creativity asks with a pout.

Deceit nods. He makes his way over to the couch to pick up the now sobbing Anxiety from Creativity’s lap.

“I’m sorry, spiderling.” Deceit says, wrapping all six arms around the child.

Anxiety wraps his arms around Deceits neck, and seconds later, four spider legs wrap around the rest of him.

Hours later, after Anxiety has finally settled down for his nap, and Creativity has gone to the imagination to vent his anger at hapless figments, there’s a knock at the door.

Deceit stares at the door for a moment in shock. No one’s ever knocked before. No one visits them. The Light Sides hate them, and even if they did want to visit, they’d never deign to knock.

Another knock.

Deceit shakes himself out of his thoughts to answer the door.

It’s Morality. He gives Deceit a wide and genuine grin, while hiding something behind his back.

“Hi Deceit!” He greets, bouncing on his toes with barely contained excitement.

“Morality, I was definitely expecting you.” Deceit says, feinting nonchalantness.

“I wanted to thank you for bringing the cats back! So I made you something!”

“Yes I obviously require payment for being nice, thank you.” Deceit rolls his eyes, he doesn’t need anything from them, and honestly, he doesn’t want anything from them. He’d prefer to just move on from this debacle and never think about it again.

“It’s not payment,” Morality grins like Deceit had been telling a joke. “It’s a gift! For you! Because you’re paw-sitively purrrrr-fect!”

Morality shoves a cat-shaped pillow in Deceit’s face, and all he can do is blink at it stupidly.

“I made you three!” Morality continues. “One for each cat!”

Deceit takes the proffered pillow — gray with bright blue eyes, like the nice cat — and Morality pulls out two more pillows that resemble the other two cats.

“That’s- um…” For once, Deceit’s silver tongue is failing him. He has no idea what to say.

“Mama?”

Not now, Deceit begs internally. Why does Anxiety have to choose now to wake up?

Anxiety approaches normally, but Deceit can tell the second he sees Morality, because he quickly ducks behind Deceit’s legs.

“Hey, kiddo,” Morality says gently as he lowers himself to his knees so that he’s level with the young Side. “I just wanted to thank your mama for returning my cats earlier. I cat tell you how happy I was to have them back, so as a thank you, I made these purr-fect pillows, would you like one?”

“That’s the same joke twice,” Deceit mutters, but Morality ignores him.

Morality holds out the Siamese pillow to Anxiety. Anxiety looks up at Deceit, and Deceit — unable to see how this could possibly be a trap — nods.

Anxiety quickly snatches the pillow from Morality and hugs it close to his chest.

“Thank you,” he mumbles.

Morality smiles. “No problem, kiddo. It’s the fleece I can do.”

Anxiety lets out a giggle, and Morality’s grin grows

“A fan of jokes I see! Well then, why did the chicken cross the road?”

“Why?” Anxiety asks quietly, voice muffled slightly by the pillow.

“To get to the other Sides!” Anxiety stares blankly at him, and Deceit smirks at the failed joke. “No? How about, what’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?”

“What?”

“Boo-berries!”

That one gets another giggle

Morality grins and holds out the third pillow. “You can have this one, too, if you want it.”

Anxiety doesn’t even look at Deceit for approval this time before he grabs pillow from Morality and attempts to hold both as close to his chest as possible.

“Anxiety,” Deceit says as Morality straightens up. “Why don’t you go show Creativity your new pillows?”

“Okay!” The kid cheers, taking off without another word, two cat pillows in tow.

“Thank you, Morality,” Deceit says once Anxiety is gone. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know I didn’t have to,” Morality smiles. “I wanted to! So I did.”

“I will admit, I’m not sure what to do when receiving a gift,” Deceit admits, surprised at his own honestly.

“Well I’ll just have to fix that, won’t I?” Morality says brightly. He pulls Deceit into a tight hug, but lets go before he can even begin to process that. “Bye Dee! I’ll see you later!”

And then he’s gone. Leaving Deceit standing in the doorway clutching a soft gray cat pillow.

Fuck, I’m GAY!

——End——

Taglist (if you voted B then you’re tagged)

@queen-of-all-things-snuggly

@pixelated-pineapple

@selenechris

@angelofthedark2005

@remus-sanders-is-amazing

@quietmob

@the-bones-fall

[tuesdayintheservantshall]

Jimmy has no right to *that* hostile (ie downright homophobic). He already almost threw Thomas out onto the street without a reference; if anyone has a right to be scared it’s Thomas; he’s now aware everyone knows he’s gay and he knows at least one or two of those people(one of them being jimmy) would happily throw him under the bus given the chance. He’s literally never been so vulnerable and there’s no need for jimmy to rub it in

Hey Nonny you’re my first official fandom argument! Or you were when I first drafted this over a week ago lol. Since then I've waded into some drama bc I have poor impulse control. Well you're my first argumentative anon still! Do I get a prize, or do you? Have an, um apple of discord: 🍏And I will have one too: 🍏 (Intended tone: genuinely friendly, although if you are not already aware you should know that in fandom spaces messages like these are generally considered hostile acts. Most people don’t want to argue with strangers about why their faves suck, and especially not in response to tags they made about their overwhelmed shippy feelings. (Although I guess if hypothetically you’re the OP of the post I put the tags on and weren’t comfortable with them being on your post that’s admittedly a tough place to be in. Coming to me with your face on and asking me to remove my reblog or the tags because you’re not comfortable with them runs the risk of me being an asshole or taking something in your phrasing badly and starting a big fight. Uh, the chances of that seem rather remote so I’m gonna leave the tags where they are unless OP comes to me and says “I hadn’t wanted to say anything but actually -”.) Anyway I’m not gonna derail this into a long(er than it is) ramble on preferred ways to discuss disagreements in fandom but I might post something like that at a later date.)

God I use way too many parentheses. Apologies to any with a blacklist for Jimmy (do I still have any of those? not sure), obviously I don’t want to put this in the tags. I shall tag this and any further discourse on the subject with “the storyline that shall not be named”. Let’s get (finally) to it!

So, the first thing I wanna say is: yes, Jimmy makes homophobic comments and that’s bad, both because Thomas being gay is not the reason he assaulted Jimmy and because there’s hypothetically a chance someone who doesn’t already know might figure out Thomas’s sexuality based on Jimmy’s comment(s? There's the one before the rope tug and then I could have sworn there was one other one but I'm blanking on what it actually was.)However a) the moment I was commenting on wasn’t one of the homophobic comments and b) I find it important to distinguish between the specific manner of hostility (sometimes homophobic) and the level of hostility (nasty remarks and making a constant point of distancing himself) and the level is in fact 100% warranted. If you think nasty remarks and pointed distancing are more hostile than a person has a right to be towards the guy who sexually assaulted them, then we have a pretty profound disagreement.

As for your other point, regarding fear: Thomas and Jimmy both have very compelling reasons to be afraid of each other but I have to ask exactly what you think Jimmy is “rubbing in?” He initially tried to retaliate excessively against Thomas, backed down from that, and then discovered that instead of facing a reasonable consequence for assaulting him, such as being fired but with a reference that reflected the fact that this was one very bad mistake rather than a pattern*, Thomas was promoted to a position of direct authority over Jimmy. Although Jimmy was bribed into not making a fuss about this rather than, say, threatened, I think he has nonetheless been given a fairly clear message from his employers that they will back the senior coworker who assaulted him against any potential consequence he might try to bring. From Jimmy’s point of view, which is admittedly blinkered by fear and self interest, Thomas is the one in the secure, powerful position and Jimmy is the one extremely vulnerable.

I don't even just mean from his point of view like, ~emotionally. Genuine question: what would happen if Thomas started being overly touchy-feely again, or did worse than that, and Jimmy went to Mr. Carson or Mrs. Hughes or Lord Grantham to report it? I really don't know, and neither does Jimmy. Personally, I'm guessing that whether they believed him would probably depend significantly on things like Jimmy’s demeanor, and exactly what words he used, and basically whether he came across as a victim or as a brat trying to get someone in trouble. And which of those things a person seems like has no particular correlation to the facts of what they’re reporting - as we can see from what happened the first time! Like, Jimmy came off as spiteful and nasty and instead of being fired Thomas was promoted. That is actually what happened! The fact that Jimmy's motives were mixed doesn't change the fact of what Thomas did: Jimmy, when evaluating his safety, has access to one really strong datapoint and that’s that last time the majority of his superiors came down on Thomas’s side, either from the beginning or by the end.

Now, it’s true that he’s had a year to observe Thomas’s behavior and make an educated guess that Thomas really is sorry and won’t do it again. We can only speculate as to what extent he may have reached that conclusion and why he has or hasn’t. Some possible reasons why he might not have: trauma blinkers, homophobic and sexist beliefs, sufficiently bad at reading people to not know what clues to even look for, too self-centered to bother thinking about it in those terms... we don’t know. And perhaps he does know perfectly well that Thomas won't do anything like that again and any lingering fear is of cooties or of people mistaking him for gay and him being in the line of fire along with Thomas next time! You can read him that way if you want. You can say “wtf I see no fear of any kind”. It’s a flexible canon and none of these interpretations are actually contradicted by the text. Indeed I happily read other interpretations and when I babbled in those tags it was more "this is the interpretation I am thinking about right now" than intended to assert it as my One True Headcanon that I will not deviate from. But Jimmy definitely has reasons to be afraid, and of more than cooties.

Of course Thomas also has logical and emotional reasons to be afraid of what Jimmy might do, I'm certainly not denying that. (In fact, one of the things I find so compelling about these two is that they both have such strong reasons not to trust each other and they both reach out anyway.) It seems that Thomas’s belief in who Jimmy is as a person supersedes those reasons (“He wouldn’t be so unkind. Not on his own.”) but if Jimmy has a similar belief about who Thomas he keeps it hidden at least until the fair.

P.S. please reconsider the phrase “has the right to be scared” in every context but especially when discussing someone’s reaction to a situation that involved them being sexually assaulted. I offer you the alternative “logical reason to be scared” or "compelling reason" as perhaps capturing what I hope you meant. I think that’s a language choice that really does matter a fair bit.

[rascheln]

witcher s2 thoughts

- i actually miss the scrambled/non linear timeline, because i really think it paid off in s1 from a narrative standpoint. it was fun having to puzzle out which events happened after/before others in s1! but i get why they went with a linear timeline, so it’s not like i’m angy about this specific choice.

- the eskel episode... i knew something was up when they cast an actor who doesn’t look anything like the game character 8even if he’as supposed to look more like in the books?? but his scar was still tiny). i pretend it’s just a different guy with a name that’s written differently but pronounced the same or sth. hashtag notmyeskel

- geralt and ciri training together was so good but too short!! i loved the scene where he hands her the sword and she starts to imitate his steps!! why was most of her training then the same training course!!!! they could have shown her actually getting instructed by the other witchers!!! not just doing the same thing over and over again while they were just watching her and being dicks??

- a lot of the characters that are supposed to get along quite well were made a lot meaner to each other? what was up with that???

- that one mute elf boy getting killed was fucked up and genuinely made me really fucking upset.

- yennefer really has been Going Through It, but i really enjoyed her journey as a powerless commoner tbh. even if the reason for it was.. eh.

- on that note, i absolutely LOVED yen and jaskier meeting, working together and her trying to find him!!! they were just as fun as in s1 and when she played his drunk wife??? hello??? these two being frenemies makes me so happy okay.

- i forgot how fucking amazing joe batey’s singing is and oh boy did he sing his heart out. i love love love his voice and i love the new song. might not turn into as much of a meme, but still *chefs kiss* 

- visually there were a LOT of amazing scenes and i got the impression that overall both in set design as well as camerawork the second season was better than the first one. the monsters also looked mostly really really good.  

- small detail, but i liked how they used real rats and mice and the owl and raven throughout the season. they looked so cute!!!

- dad!geralt with the dwarfs coming to the rescue!!!! was!!!!! so good!!!!!!!

- jaskier got the apology he deserved... and apparently he got fucking ripped????

- one of my favorite scene transitions was from ciri’s hallucination of dancing in the halls of cintra’s palace to switching to reality, where the same space is overtaken by the nilfgaardians.

on to the more severe criticisms:

- the whole storyline with yennefer being used to abduct ciri felt weird and out of place. it just seemed like an additional, unnecessary “everyone is after ciri” conflict when there were already enough factions after her already. and imho yennefer deserved better than being regaled to a boring story beat like that and turned into another minor antagonist again.

- on that note, the deathless mother seemed like a way to force multiple stories and characters to connect better and get the plot to the final episode, but it just made people adversaries that shouldn’t have been. see above, both yennefer and the witchers going after ciri? what?? why ruin relationships before they even had a chance to form positive bonds?

- to add onto that, the final showdown also fell really flat emotionally due to this. the only saving grace was geralt and ciri’s bond, because the show had actually properly established how much he cared for her, while literally everyone else present had seemed overly detached or hostile when it came to ciri for so much of the series. 

-  because every single conflict was so tightly woven into the main story, it didn’t make for a particularly interesting/varied full season. it had good and great parts in between, but it also had very one-tone, dull parts. while season 1 had geralt, yennefer and ciri’s storylines vary more greatly, season 2 had too much interwoven instead of just overlapping.

- this isn’t to say it was a bad season, but this major narrative choice just didn’t work very well. geralt and ciri as well as yennefer and jaskier had the biggest emotional impact to me because there was notable positive connection. 

- in hindsight, there was also just a lot less humor this season. characters dying that you felt really bad for dying, animals dying... and the biggest comic relief character only appearing halfway through the season? yea... tonally, this was definitely a step down.

[mrsgreenworld]

Sen Çal Kapımı Episode 15 aka Soulmates

I know it's never taken me this long to gather my thoughts on a new SCK episode. But as I mentioned in my previous post Mike Flanagan's shows happened to me 😭😩😱

However, I also think it's because I had some mixed feelings regarding the episode. I guess while I was trying to watch it live (trying being the operative word here) the problems with the live stream influenced my overall first impression. I wasn't able to watch a good chunk of the episode and, of course, it got me annoyed and that, I guess, mixed up with my feelings about the episode. But after having rewatched it with subtitles I have a full and clear picture.

All in all it was a nice episode, very light compared to a much heavier angst of earlier episodes. I liked that light-hearted moments and humour were back. It was also a shorter episode which served it well. However, it felt a lot like a filler episode which, in my opinion, did nothing to move the story forward.

The things I loved / liked:

☑️ Eda: she was a true star ⭐ (ahah, pun intended) and the main highlight of the episode for me;

as a woman I was so proud to see her handle this situation with such strength, dignity and self-respect;

unfortunately, despite the old gender stereotypes slowly dying out, despite the fact that women are becoming more and more independent and aware of their value, we are still often portrayed as a weaker sex; I am not talking about physical strength, of course;

we are the ones left, we are the ones who suffer, we are made to love men with everything we have, we build our whole lives around them, we let our world revolve around them... so, when they leave or we lose them for any other reason - it's the end, everything falls apart, we fall apart; I am so sick of still seeing it on screen; that's why I freaking LOVED seeing Eda not fall apart, or at least she didn't fall apart for long;

I loved that she allowed herself to grieve, to cry, to be angry and to express this anger straight to Serkan's face; I think we saw Eda go through her own 5 stages of grief; but she didn't let depression take away more than one night of her life;

I love that Eda found out that Ayfer had contacted the grandma and, while her reaction might have been a bit too emotional (which is actually normal and understandable given she's still hurting after having had her heart broken and stamped on), I really enjoyed Eda protecting her personal boundaries and basically saying to stay the *uck out of her life - you go, girl!👏💪😎

I enjoyed the way Eda handled herself at the office and how she behaved around Serkan; she wasn't stealing lovesick glances at him or just brooding, she wasn't overly hostile, she wasn't running away;

oh, and when Seyfi brought that box, how she handled that - a standing ovation👏👏👏, everyone bow down to my Queen! 👑👸

speaking of that box where Serkan asked Seyfi to gather all of Eda's things, how he ordered to put away all her gifts - as Eda put it "he's trying to get rid of any trace of me"; in a way she's right; Serkan is trying to get rid of everything that could remind him of her and their shared moments but we know it's not because he doesn't love her (like Eda thinks), it's because he does and it's too much for him; and it's such a contrast to Eda who actually said to the girls that she wouldn't throw away or burn or whatever any of Serkan's gifts or other things that remind her of him and them, she openly said that she's not the one to run away from the memories; and it was so powerful - seeing the writers make a woman so undeniably stronger than a man👌👏

I also liked Eda around Efe, there wasn't anything romantic, I think it was completely professional and it didn't feel or look (at least to me) like Eda was trying to use Efe for petty reasons like make Serkan jealous (but of course our boy was jelly nonetheless 👽😁)

the little moment with Aydan: it was nice to see Aydan trying to comfort Eda (I guess she earned a few points for that) and I really liked the message she was trying to deliver - you can find love and happiness again;

I loved seeing Eda take that in, accept the message, agree that she will be ok one day; and I also liked seeing her not accept Aydan's support which felt a little bit like pity; Eda didn't want to be pitied and she said what she thought to Aydan's face; was it a little harsh? maybe, yes; but I understand where it came from and, given how insensitive, hostile, rude Aydan had been towards Eda in the past, Eda not really buying this whole support thing is pretty understandable;

☑️ Edser: whatever state these two are in - deliriously in love, flirty, pissed off, annoyed, lovesick, heartbroken - if they're together on screen it's always glorious;

do I like seeing them angsty and heartbroken? of course NOT! but the longing between them is SO GOOD!😍🤩

I loved that they introduced this soulmate theme; it wasn't there front and center but rather woven subtly through the episode: first, of course, pretty openly stated at the very beginning of the episode, in the parallel conversations Eda / the girls and Serkan / Engin; then symmetrically at the very end of the episode - the papers with the names of the drivers for the race, then Serkan being the one to notice Eda's absence, him just feeling her and being led by his heart until he found her - not bad for an emotionless robot, huh?😏😉

THE RINGS!😍😍 glad that they brought Eda's💍ring back into the picture; she demonstratively put it on the middle finger of her right hand; obviously she did it on purpose, she even explained the reason behind this decision - from now on it will serve as a reminder what kind of person Serkan Bolat is; but of course I think there's something deeper at play here; Eda could have easily put the ring on her left hand but she went with her right hand instead, with the middle finger which is so close to where it used to be, where an engagement ring should be - on her ring finger; so I think it's also a way for Eda to be closer to Serkan, it's almost like a phantom of what they used to have as well as of all the things they won't have... I am also 99% sure I am overthinking here and the intentions of writers were much simpler 🙈😆

anyway, I loved that Eda and Serkan both noticed and pointed out aloud that the other was wearing their ring; also Serkan's reasoning "to keep other women away" - why don't you tattoo "I am the property of Eda Yıldız" on your forehead, mister?👀🙈😆 could he be any more obvious?

the coffee scene was priceless 🤣🤣🤣 Serkan was so damn confident that Eda poured that cup for him and then him mumbling "for Efe" under his breath... like an offended child 🙈😆

them fighting looked a lot like flirting and the electricity⚡generated during their arguments could easily power their whole office building - I am sure;

the car ride to the presentation and that presentation itself - while I didn't entirely enjoy it and how controlling Serkan was I cannot help but admire the way his mind works; I also think he was doing it for Eda, it was his way of supporting and looking out for her without being too obvious; this way they also get to work together and even if it's just for work he will be closer to her;

Serkan showing up at that sport motivation thing like a boss 😎 and shamelessly checking Eda out 😏 I mean, was he aware there were other people around? and how is it possible that Eda was still buying the emotionless robot crap? the emotions the guy was looking at her with were enough to melt the glaciers 🔥🥵

and finally - that moment at the sea when Eda told Serkan that he wouldn't have apologized if he hadn't feared for his life; his immediate response was that it wasn't about that, "what if something had happened to you?"; when Eda answered with "Does it matter?" I swear I thought Serkan was gonna take her by the shoulders and shake her;

that jaw tick? man, he was pissed 😤

at Eda - for saying something like that, for being so careless with her life;

at himself - for allowing her to think that it wouldn't absolutely destroy him if something were to happen to her;

but the moment Eda left all anger left him and Serkan just looked... defeated;

☑️ Eda and Efe: might be an unpopular opinion but I actually liked their dynamic in episode 15; as I have already mentioned I didn't see or feel anything romantic and while I still don't trust Efe (him being from Mardin - a coincidence? nope, don't think so🧐) I liked how supportive he was with Eda; I think she needed that push to get back to work; okay, there is very likely some ulterior motive here but at least in this episode he seemed pretty genuine and it didn't look like he was using Eda; he wasn't provoking Serkan that much either;

☑️ Selin and Serkan: a short scene with the two of them in Serkan's office and Selin's reaction to Serkan and Eda's breakup; maybe to someone it may seem too strong but I actually liked Selin calling Serkan out on it like that; honestly I half expected her to find excuses for his behaviour;

☑️ Engin: keeps being a loyal friend who doesn't just offer silent support; I like how he always tries to reason with Serkan, doesn't shy away from telling him unpleasant truth;

glad he was there for Serkan at the very beginning of the episode;

loved how he checked on Serkan at the office and then tried to convince our RoBo that it's ok to not be ok and maybe take a vacation;

then the exchange:

Engin: "So, out of sight, out of mind?"

Serkan: "Exactly"

Engin (spotting Eda coming into the office with Efe): "Interesting how that's gonna work out for you" - interesting indeed 🙈😆;

Things I didn't like / was annoyed with:

❎ Serkan: yes, my baby boy made it into this category - there's first time for everything 🙈😆

just to be clear - he is still my cupcake and I love him dearly but here's the thing: we don't always like those we love;

I think in episode 15 Serkan was controlling and childish; and I completely understand where these tendencies come from but it doesn't mean I am gonna turn a blind eye on this or try to justify his behaviour;

that "Efe left but Serkan is here" scene was intented to be funny and endearing I guess but it was highly manipulative; and when during the car ride Serkan commented on Eda behaving like a teenager I was like "excuse me?! have you met yourself, mister?!" because that manipulation to make Eda go with him was worthy of a 12-year-old 🤨;

❎ Selin: when is she not annoying?🤔 while I liked that she didn't take Serkan's side and called him out on his change of heart, unfortunately, she still managed to make it about herself; it never fails to amaze me how selfish and self-centred this character is;

❎ Alptekin: what a poor excuse of a father and a man he is... almost feel sorry for him;

don't apologize on behalf of your son - he's a grown ass man who is capable of speaking for himself;

apologize for yourself, your mistakes and if you're not ready - then don't go to Ayfer just to make yourself feel better 😤😡;

❎ that almost copy-paste from Erkenci Kuş at the end:

getting lost and falling down into a pit in the forest? been there, done that in EK episode 19;

okay, we had beautiful sea views and they placed it at the end to add more suspense but all in all it was awfully similar and also kinda came out of nowhere;

after that emotional scene between Eda and Serkan we were whooshed into "Eda is not here, let's go find her"; I have no problem with the absence of the moment where she actually fell into that pit - wasn't that necessary - but a scene that could have served as a building block to this would have been good - show Eda going for that walk.

And... that's pretty much it.

Gonna get down to episode 16 now

[transsexualhamlet]

Mika and Yoichi

Two opposite characters who are way too similar

Ok, now I’ve done Mika and Guren before, and now I’d like to bring to your attention the similarities and differences between these two characters.

Honestly, the only reason I’m doing this is because I was like “damn me you’re really giving them the same problems in this fic huh” and I had to clarify to myself that i wasn’t hjkjh 

So I realize you won’t be able to see any similarities between the two at first glance, other than the fact that they have similar hair sans the antenna, and it’s not something you’d normally think about since they never interact with each other. But to be honest, they have a lot of the same issues. And yeah it’s just me going off on characters again, I know my audience.

The thing is that Yoichi isn’t given a lot of canonical backstory. There’s just what we see about his sister, but between when he was eight and sixteen there’s like. Literally nothing, anyway. It takes a whole lot to really get what happened to him, and most of it comes from the resurrection at 19 books, which literally don’t even feature him at all. 

Assumedly, Yoichi was found in the initial missions out after the catastrophe, in which the imperial demons basically just grabbed as many children as possible from off the streets. The older ones were immediately thrown into the army as everything was being hastily built up again, but someone Yoichi’s age wouldn’t be, of course. He was eight. 

However I can assume that he was there at some point to listen to the rhetoric of the demon army at that point, the speeches that Kureto gave to a bunch of traumatized children in front of burning mountains of corpses. Yeah, you heard me. If you read resurrection you’d get the whole speech but I’m not ready to transcribe the whole thing. The jist of it though is basically him saying “there is no god” eighty times and telling a bunch of children to go out and die for him and giving them hero complexes on purpose, saying that they had to save the world, they had to become strong, they had to get revenge against the vampires that hurt them. 

Yeah, no, Yoichi definitely internalized that at eight.

My point is that Yoichi had some of the same issues that Mika got after he was turned into a vampire that shaped their personalities.

-trauma of losing the only people that were important to them

-no one to cling to or tell their problems to

-a world completely hostile to them

-requirement to grow up way too early

-obsession on one person who they had lost

-being fed rhetoric saying that weak people were worth nothing

And all that fun stuff. There are some key differences in them that caused them to develop differently under similar circumstances.

The main differences are:

-while Mika was given the physical power to live up to the incredible expectations suddenly thrown on his shoulders, Yoichi was physically and mentally weak at that time in his life.

-while Yoichi was being told these things by people whom he trusted and looked up to, Mika was being told these things by people he hated and who had personally hurt him but he still had to obey. 

-while Mika could at least get a bit better because the object of his obsession was someone he could save and then open up to about his problems, Yoichi keeps them all inside in an attempt not to bother anyone and his goal is ultimately useless because it won’t fix his sister’s death. 

So these differences caused much more different development such as:

-Whereas Yoichi felt the need to be overly nice and a pushover and try to please people because he felt like he wasn’t good enough, Mika used to feel that way and dropped that nice act after he was turned because he didn’t feel the need to please monsters. He stopped trusting anyone, wheras Yoichi basically trusts everyone to a self-harming point, letting anyone step on him.

-Mika grew hard and cold in response to his trauma, whereas Yoichi grew soft and apologetic. Mika stopped apologizing because he had to fit in and seem strong with a race of unfeeling immortal beings, wheras because Yoichi knew he could not become strong he just felt like less because of it.

-Both Yoichi and Mika believe what they’ve been taught, but in different ways. In the case of the demon army’s teachings, I feel like Yoichi is the only one in his squad who really does, and he was affected by it to a great extent. 

Shinoa never believed in anything the Hiragis said, and Kimizuki only really cares to the extent that it can help his sister, it’s not about anything else. Yu is like blatantly “fuck the demon army” as soon as Mika shows up. Well I guess Mitsuba kind of does but that’s a post for another day. Honestly I bet Shinoa and Kimiuki make fucking communist jokes about the system, but Yoichi genuinely believes in it. He let everyone step on him and belittle him and bully him because he thought that was right, he thought that was only justice because he wasn’t strong.

-Whereas Mika in the same extent of being taught he would be beat down if he didn’t get up, he didn’t allow it and he was self righteous enough to know the vampires were evil and he didn’t like their system. He had the power to become strong and he allied himself with them because there was no other way, but he had even if he hated himself a kind of self esteem about his own beliefs.

In the point in which Yoichi finally comes into his own power, being when he got a demon and realized his desire for revenge and,,, dark side, Yoichi also developed a lot of the same characteristics of Mika in his feelings about it.

-Yoichi ends up at that point having much of the same deal as Mika coming into his power- when he realized he could take the pain he’d been given and manifest it into physical strength in some attempt to fight against something physical he could blame. In Mika’s case it was the humans who experimented on them, in Yoichi’s it was vampires.

-Yoichi and Mika both want to use their power to keep who they love safe, but wheras Mika’s use of power is more sparing and utilitarian since he always believed the fact of him having power to be shameful even if it’s necessary, Yoichi has been taught since the army saved him that power was a good thing, power was righteous and revenge was honorable, and so he develops these sadistic characteristics Mika would never have. 

-Mika and Yoichi both feel ashamed of and want to hide things about themselves they feel to be evil/bad, they both see Yu as much more worthy of kindness and happiness than themselves, as they see him as a genuinely good person, whereas they themselves don’t think they’re good people because they strive to be strong.

Honestly I don’t understand how people can write the “mika but he’s in the demon army” au with Mika being the same, because if Mika and Yoichi’s situations had been swapped I feel like they would have developed much like each other. If Yoichi had been given power right away, but if he had known that it wasn’t good to use it, he would have probably ended up like Mika, and if Mika had stayed weak and been told he needed power, he would have ended up like Yoichi, don’t even at me. 

It’s weird that these two are kind of a case of two opposites that are way too fucking similar.

So in general I feel like Mika and Yoichi would have a very interesting dynamic to be around each other. I feel like Mika would see Yoichi as like himself in the past when he was a kid- always wanting to help people, smiling all the time, always having to be the responsible one, striving so hard to be good. But on some level I feel like he’d realize Yoichi understands Mika’s problems a little too well.

[iridescentides]

hi again dia! happy first day of december ❤️💚 i wanted to ask you what, in your opinion, are the 5 most underrated dcoms? i remember you saying before that you've watched all of them so i'd love to hear your opinions 😊 - 🎅🎁🎄

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH secret santa you are so good! asking me all the best questions 💜

okay so i literally had to make a list of all the dcoms i consider underrated and then narrow down a top 5. theres lots of dcoms that i love, but that i think got the right amount of attention and care (like lemonade mouth and the teen beach movies, for example), so this list just focuses on ones that deserved more hype for their quality level.

5. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)

okay so even as i type this i feel like a hypocrite. i have only watched this movie one time. BUT i can acknowledge that its one of the most criminally underrated dcoms ever, tons of people didnt watch it simply because raven wasnt in it. thats why i avoided it as a child, and i didnt get around to watching it until i did my big dcom binge in 2016. and it was so good. theres a really long post floating somewhere around tumblr full of specifics on why its actually the best cheetah girls movie (my favorite is the second one purely out of nostalgia), so to paraphrase some points from that post:

its a solid example of cultural appreciation, rather than appropriation, as the girls go and learn about bollywood and indian culture together

the indian characters arent treated like props or unimportant sides, they get their own agency and storylines that are important

the songs are good!!!

basically this movie was overlooked and slept on even though in terms of role modeling and social value, and just like the first two cheetah girls movies it was important and impactful.

4. Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)

okay so as someone whos very neutral and occasionally negative-leaning towards the hsm franchise (mostly bc its overhyped and not really representative of all dcoms), i was pleasantly surprised by sharpays fabulous adventure. this is another one that i know lots of people skipped right over and dont hold with as much esteem as the main hsm franchise, and that doesnt sit right with me.

i do not agree with the “uwu sharpay was the real victim in hsm” arguments bc in their efforts to look galaxy brained the people who say that overlook the fact that she was a rich white woman who used her power and status to exercise control over opportunities that should have been fairly and freely available for all; they were not “making a mockery of her theater” in the first movie, they were literally just kids who wanted to try out a new school activity that everyone was supposed to be allowed to participate in; and despite allegedly learning her lesson and singing we’re all in this together with everyone at the end of the first movie, she literally showed no growth in the second movie as she fostered an openly hostile environment and favored troy so heavily that it literally cost him his friends, all as part of yet another jealous plan to take things away from people who already have less than her. she was NOT the victim in the main franchise, and she did not seem to exhibit any growth or introspection either.

and that!!! is why sharpays fabulous adventure was so important. in focusing on sharpay as the main character, they finally had to make her likeable. they did this by showing actual real growth and putting her outside of her sphere of influence and control. we saw true vulnerability from her, instead of the basic ass “mean girl is sad bc shes actually just super insecure” trope (cough cough radio rebel), and this opened us up to finally learn about and care about her character. throughout the movie we see her learn, from her love interests example, how to care for others and be considerate. she faces actual adversity and works through it, asking herself what she truly wants and what shes capable of. and in the end, when she finally has her big moment, we’re happy for her bc she worked hard to get there. she becomes a star through her own merit and determination, rather than through money and connections. this movie is not perfect by any means, but it is severely underrated for the amount of substance it adds to sharpays character.

3. The Swap (2016)

okay i know im gonna get shit for this but thats why its on this list!!! just like sharpays fabulous adventure, its not perfect and definitely misses the mark sometimes, but it deserves more attention and love for all the things it did get right!

the swap follows two kids who accidentally switch bodies because of their emotional attachment to their dead/absent parents’ phones. and while i normally HATE the tv/movie trope of a dead parent being the only thing that builds quick sympathy for a young character, they definitely expanded well enough to where we could root for these kids even without the tragedy aspect. we see them go through their daily struggles and get a feel for their motivations as characters pretty well. as a body switching movie, we expect it to be all goofy and wacky and lighthearted, but it moves beyond that in unexpected ways.

the reason the swap is on this list is for its surprisingly thoughtful commentary on gender roles. its by no means a feminist masterpiece, and its not going to radicalize kids who watch it, but it conveys a subtle, heartfelt message that deserves more appreciation. the characters struggle with the concept of gender in a very accurate way for their age, making off-base comments and feeling trapped by the weight of expectations they cant quite put their finger on. we watch them feel both at odds with and relieved by the gender roles they are expected and allowed to perform in each others bodies, and one of the most interesting parts of the movie to me is their interactions with the other kids around them. as a result of their feeling out of place in each others environments, the kids inadvertently change each others friendships for the better by introducing new communication styles and brave authenticity. 

the value of this movie is the subtle, but genuine way it shows the characters growing through being given the space to act in conflicting ways to their expected norms. ellie realizes that relationships dont have to be complex, confusing, and painful, and that its okay to not live up to appearances and images. jack learns that emotional expression is good, healthy, and especially essential to the grieving process. one of the most powerful scenes in the movie comes at the end where, after ellie confronts jacks dad in his body, jack returns as himself to a very heartfelt apology from his father for being too hard on him; the explicit message (”boys can cry”) is paired with an open expression of love and appreciation for his kids that he didnt feel comfortable displaying until his son set an example through honest communication. this is such an empowering scene and overall an empowering movie for kids who may feel stuck in their expected roles, as it sets a positive example for having the courage to break the restrictive societal mold. for its overall message of the importance of introspection and emotional intelligence, the swap is extremely underrated.

2. Freaky Friday (2018)

this is my favorite dcom, and probably my favorite movie at this point. ive always assigned a lot of personal value to this movie (and i love every freaky friday in general), for the message of selfless familial love and understanding. i know i can get carried away talking about this topic; i got an anon ask MONTHS ago asking me about the freaky friday movies and i wrote a super super long detailed response that i never posted bc i didnt quite finish talking about the 2018 movie. and thats bc on a personal level, i cant adequately convey all the love i have for this movie. so i will try to keep this short.

first lets state the obvious: the reason people dont like this movie is bc its not the lindsay lohan version. and i get that, to an extent, bc i also love the 2003 version and its one of my ultimate comfort movies, and grew up watching it and ive seen it a billion times. i even watched it a couple days ago. but the nostalgia goggles that people have on from the early 2000s severely clouds their judgement of the wonderful 2018 remake.

yes, the 2018 version is dorky, overly simplistic plot wise, a bit stiff at times, and super cheesy like any dcom. the writing isnt 100% all the time. the narrative takes a couple confusing turns. the song biology probably shouldnt have been included. i understand this. but at the heart of it all, this movies value is love. and its edge over all the other freaky friday movies is the songs.

on a personal level, the movie speaks heavily to me. i cried very early into my first viewing of the movie bc i got to see dara renee, a dark-skinned, non-skinny actress, playing the mean popular girl on disney channel. that has never happened before. growing up, i saw the sharpays and all the other super thin white women get to be the “popular” girls on tv, and ultimately they were taken down in the end for being mean, but that doesnt change the fact that they were given power and status in the first place for being conventionally beautiful. so, watching dara renee strut around confidently and sing about being the queen bee at this high school got to me immediately. and in general, the supporting cast members of color really mean a lot to me in this movie. we get to see adam, an asian male love interest for the main character. we have a second interracial relationship in the movie with katherines marriage to mike. ellies best friend karl is hispanic. and we see these characters have depth and plot significance, we see them show love, care, and passion for the things they value. the brown faces in this movie are comforting to me personally. additionally, the loving, blended family dynamic is important to me as someone in a close-knit, affectionate step-family.

but on a more general level, this movie is underrated for its skillful musical storytelling and the way it conveys all kinds of love and appreciation. in true freaky friday fashion, we watch ellie and katherine stumble and misstep in their attempts to act like each other. its goofy and fun. but through it all, the music always captures the characters’ intimate thoughts and feelings. the opening song gives us a meaningful view into ellie and katherines relationship and the fundamental misunderstandings that play a role in straining their connection. ellie sings about how she thinks her mom wants her to be perfect, and her katherine sings about all the wonderful traits she sees in her daughter and how she wants her to be more open and self assured. this is meaningful bc even as theyre mad at each other, the love comes through. the songs continue to bring on the emotional weight of the story, as ellie sings to her little brother about her feelings of hurt and abandonment in her fathers absence. the song “go” and its accompanying hunt scene always make me cry bc of the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that it brings. for the kids, its a coming of age, introspective song. for katherine who gets to participate in ellies body, its a reminder of youth and the rich, full life her daughter has ahead of her. she is overcome with excitement, both from getting to be a teenager again for a day, and from the realization that her daughter has a support network and passions that are all her own. today and ev’ry day, the second to last song, is the culmination of the lessons learned throughout the movie, a mother and daughters tearful commitment to each other to love, protect, and understand one another. the line “if today is every day, i will hold you and protect you, i wont let this thing affect you” gets to me every time. even when things are hard and dont go according to plan, they still agree, in this moment, to be there for each other. and thats what all freaky friday stories are ultimately about.

freaky friday 2018 is a beautiful, inclusive, subversive display of familial love, sacrifice, and selflessness, and it is underrated and overlooked because of its more popular predecessor.

1. Let It Shine (2012)

this is another one of my favorite dcoms and movies in the whole world. unlike the other movies on this list, it is not the viewers themselves that contribute to the underrated-ness of this movie. disney severely under-promoted and under-hyped this movie in comparison to its other big musical franchises, and i will give you five guesses as to why, but youll only need one!

let it shine is the most beautifully, unapologetically black dcom in the whole collection. (i would put jump in! at a notable second in this category, but that one wasnt underrated). this movie was clearly crafted with care and consideration. little black kids got to see an entire dcom cast that represented them. the vernacular used in the script is still tailored mostly to white-favoring audiences, but with some relevant slang thrown in there. in short, the writers got away with the most blackness they were allowed to inject into a disney channel project.

the story centers on rap music and its underground community in atlanta, georgia. it portrays misconceptions surrounding rap, using a church setting as a catalyst for a very real debate surrounding a generational, mutlicultural conflict. this was not a “safe” movie for disney, given its emphasis on religious clashes with contemporary values. it lightly touches on issues of image policing within the black community (cyrus’s father talking about how “our boys” are running around with sagging pants and “our girls” are straying away from god), which is a very real and pressing problem for black kids who feel the pressure (from all sides) of representing their whole race with their actions. its a fun, adorable story about being yourself and staying true to your art, but also a skillful representation of struggles unique to black and brown kids and children from religious backgrounds.

on top of crafting a fun, wholesome, thoughtful narrative and likeable protagonists, let it shine brought us what is in my opinion the BEST dcom soundtrack of all time. every single song is a bop. theyre fast, fun, and lyrically engaging. “me and you” is my favorite disney channel song of all time due to its narrative significance; i will never forget my first time watching the movie and seeing that big reveal unfold onstage, as a conversation and a plot summary all wrapped into a song. the amount of thought and care that went into the music of this movie should have been rewarded with a level of attention on par with that of other musical dcoms.

if disney channel had simply cared about let it shine more, it couldve spanned franchises and sold songs the way that other musical dcoms have drawn in success. i would have loved for a sequel that explored and fleshed out cyrus’s neighborhood a little bit more, and maybe dipped into that underground scene they caught a glimpse of. i wanted a follow up on the changed church community once cyrus’s father started supporting his sons vision. i want so much more for these characters and this world than disney gave them in just one movie.

for its bold, unabashed representation of blackness and religion, subtle, nuanced presentation of race-specific issues, strong, likeable characters, and complex, thoughtful songs, let it shine is the most underrated dcom.

and because i made a full list before i started writing this post, here are some honorable mentions:

going to the mat (2004)

gotta kick it up! (2002)

tru confessions (2002)

dont look under the bed (1999)

invisible sister (2015)

[popculturebuffet]

Top 8 Worst Christmas Episodes

Happy Holidays everybody! If your wondering where i’ve been.. i’ve been a combination of swamped with holiday activity, and just plain activity, and procastinating on getting content out for this blog.. but i’m kicking myself to actually get in gear. And I can’t think of a better reason than the holidays.  I love this time of year, while it can be physically and financially exhausting, people can act like rabid wildebeasts in stores, and there’s no end of jackasses who refuse to accept that Christmas isn’t the only holiday in town and that it’s perfectly fine if people want to you know, celebrate something else. But beneath it all is heart: giving gifts to people you love out of the kindness of your heart, beautiful decorations put up with care and holiday warmth, people freezing their asses off for charity everywhere.. there’s a lot of good done and a lot of good underneath.  And part of that good is Christmas Episodes. I do love me a good holiday episode and there’s been plenty of great Christmas epsidoes with a few Hannkuah and Kwanza ones thrown in. But for the mountain of presents of episodes, that we will get to, there’s also a small pile of cole that’s become sentient and stalks me every holiday season.. my meataphor may of gotten off track but the point is out of the VAST majority of good to decent holiday episdoeds there’s a handful I just.. flat out hate. ones that either miss the point, are unecessarily cruel and not nearly funny enough about it, or ones that are simply bad episodes of their show that happen to be christmasy. SO let us unwrap the pauly shore of christmas gifts, these are my 8 most hated christmas episodes.. and this is just episodes of ongoing shows, not specials (Though the episode being longer than usual is fine). Otherwise number one would be that time Chewy’s family killed time while his wife’s dad masturbated. As for why 8, my lists on this blog will vary based on need and I could only find 8 I TRULY loathed.. I didn’t want to pad the bottom of the list with mediocre episodes... only the cream of the crap and my christmas fury here. Now that’s out of the way, let’s ho ho go.  P.S. No the brooklyn nine nine episode is not on the list, I just love tha timage and felt it fit. 

8. The Finster Who Stole Christmas (All Grown Up)  This is by far the tamest on the list. I don’t hate All Grown Up. It is a confused shows (with early middle schoolers acting like high schoolers and what not), but it’s just medicore at worst outside of a few episodes. This one though.. is just bleh.  Chucky\ finds a tree on the street that’s perfect, wanting to have a memorable christmas for once. HE takes it home, thinking it’s abandoned, and it’s instead thought to be stolen and we spend a whole epsidoe watching a fucking 12 year old slowly be consumed by guilt.. I hate these kinds of plots. it’s one thing if the character genuinely fucked up or you mine some humor out of it, but it’s a nother when a character genuinely made a mistake and is instead internally tourtured. All the kid wanted was a tree.. he was kind of an idiot but the amount of vitrol over someone TAKING A TREE OFF THE STREET THA TWAS UNMARKED AND YOU DIDN’T TAKE INSIDE. is baffling.

7. Merry Christmas Mordecai (Regular Show) I do like Regular Show. While i’ve latched on to other shows far more, I still enjoyed the show and was a huge fan of it for some time.. this is the episode that killed that. The reason it’s lower is as an episode, it’s only the last two minutes or so that’s truly terrible, but GOD I hate this episode with every fiber of my being.. .the arc would get MUCH worse, but this did kick it off and turn me off the show for some time, though I did come back by the final season so there’s that.  The plot is simple: Mordecai is nervous because his ex Margret will be at the same party he’ll be with his new girlfriend CJ. Things go fine, it’s awkard but whatever.. and then he has a flashback.. and KISSES HIS EX , PASSOINATLEY AS SEEN ABOVE, in FRONT of his new girlfriend. The hero of our show, who was kinda shitty early on but that was ironed out by this point, cheated... and ruined a relationship I happened to really like. The problems of this arc are deep, vast and will require their own article some day, but yeah.. this one scene ruins the episode and set off one of the worst romantic plot tumors i’ve seen in a show and is so nonesnical , yes I get getting swept up in old emotions but you still cheated dum dum, I can’t help but put the whole episode here. It’s like a tootsie pop but the center is somehow full of bees: sure you enjoyed it but the amount of beestings in your mouth will make you hate the experince anyway. That said I will leave this clusterfuck on this blessed image because fuck if it can take it away from me. 

Thank god they didn’t ruin these two for me. 

6. Doug’s Christmas Story (Doug (Nickleodeon Run)

Only 90′s kids will rue the day this episode was born. Doug was mostly a bland and forgetable show.. but this episode is just unspeakably depressing. The premise is Doug’s dog, porkchop, saves local rich kid Bebe from thin ice, she thought he bit him.. and doug’s dog gets put on trial and SENTENCED TO DEATH AT THE POUND. Despite the fact the thin ice sign is clearly there, and this is a GROSS over reaction to a leg injury that wasn’t even caused by the biting. Porkchop knocked her down he didn’t tear off her leg or something.. the ep is lower because it IS well voice acted, but good acting only makes it that much more heartwrenching and makes me question WHY THIS for the christmas story. It’s not a TERRIBLE idea for a story, but for an episode your going to play every year ,epseically for a young network such as nick who only had three shows to start and thus would need this in rotation for some time, WHY would anyone think “Dog gets sentenced to murder for doing something good” , even if it turns around in the ending, is something people would want to SEE every year. Just a poorly written tear jerker that , while thankfully far away from my own nieces where it can’t scar them for life, will likely never leave my memory. 

5. Stump Day (Star vs the Forces of Evil) Oh god this one.. while the top 4 are far worse, this one is still ungodly aggravating. It DOES have a good joke at the begining.  Kid: Uncle River can you tell us the story of stump day? River: (Jovially) Ha ha ha, you don’t tell me what to do! (Tells story anyway) But after that... ti’s the story of Marco throwing Star a birthday party on Stump Day, Mewni’s christmas. As someone who has a birthday near a holiday, if not on one, I do sympathize. All your present days and celebration are crammed into one tight period. Marco means well and gathers all her friends, and her boyfriend tom.. and star flips out not wanting to piss off the stump. So far no bad... Marco meant well but didn’t know how much she cared, Even though Tom warned him I do get star being unpredictable and thus taking the shot anyway.. then he INSISITS on having the party anyway, and has the fucking BALLS to call tom a bad boyfriend when tom eventually calls him out on wanting to keep it going. Especially since Marco COULD’VE just made it into a holiday party to make her happy without sending everyone home. But no he had to be a selfish, entitled dick weed. While tom DOES lunge at marco after Marco calls him a bad boyfriend, Marco again went FAR out of linea nd insulted his own friend because he’s jealous Tom’s with star, and he’s not. ANd then a stump attacks... and then TOM’S forced to apologize. For attacking marco, yeaht hat’s fair but for being a bad boyfriend? No... Marco was the dick and he basically wins anyway despite agian, a simple solution being right there. Let’s move on. 

4. Road to the North Pole (Family Guy) Oh boy this one.. this was at the tale end of my watching Family Guy, before “Quagmire’s Dad” out and out pissed me off enough to finally leave, being you know a transphobic mess i’ll defintley talk about in the future, but this was close: An uncomfortable, unfunny christmas special that starts with Quagmire being overly hostile to Brian for a mistake he couldn’t have possibly known about and continues into a trip to the North Pole where the elves have become deformed due to industralization and Santa is deathly ill and Stewie and Brian have to convince people to ask for less to save him.  The IDEA here is not bad, and after this and the doug entries I want to make something clear: dark, twisted, messed up... these are not bad things for a christmas special to be. Futrama’s two christmas episodes , and to a lesser extent it’s one holdiay episode, are really funny and this trinity’s going to war from the movie is a holiday staple to me. 

See that’s some good all inclusive holiday hilarity that’s patently messed up.. and a emotinal holiday story with some dark themes? also works... King of the HIll had a whole episode where bill was sucidial before taking on the persona of his ex wife that was damn good, having some humor while still having a fairly depressing story with a solid emotional core. You CAN be dark , subversive.. but you have to have a point. Doug was bad because it leaned too far into the misery and that’s what ultimatley hobbles this episode too. You have to have SOMETHING to make people invested besides holding a gun to their dog’s head or KILLING SANTA.  This ep has a godo concept, santa having to industralize to keep up and slowly growing exausted or sick from it.. it’s not bad at all.. but the ep takes it too far and dosen’t have enough emotion to it to brign us back from the brink. It’s especially galling since family guy had DONE a christmas episode in it’s earlier, better seasons, that was far better than this, so while I don’t fault them for wanting to do a second one I DO fault them for doing it so poorly and wasting a potetinally tearjerking and well done concept on a crappy meanspirited wasted hour of my life.. because oh yes, this was an hourlong special. Ho ho hum. 

3. Miracle on Evergreen Terrace (The Simpsons) This one MEANS well but just ends up misrable. The premise isnt’ TERRIBLE: Bart burns down the christmas decorations, fakes a robbery and then feels really guilty as the family is helped by those around them. The issue is when Bart is found out, while his family is furious the town ALL shuns the simpsons with pure hatred, and later robs their house and leaves them with nothing. It’s not an episode i have TONS to say on like those above and bellow, it’s just miserable... and like I ranted about before black comedy can work but this took it too far: most of the simpsons did nothing wrong and bart was throughly punished with his heavy amount of guilt. The show already did “Bart feel sbad after doing something awful at christmas time” FAR BETTER in “Marge not be proud” which, while one I don’t really watch because it is hard to watch at times, is still excellent and Is hard to watch for the RIGHT reasons instead of just being mean spirited. Now from mean spirited to .. I dont’ even know with this one.

2.. Mrs. Wakefield (King of the HIll) What a shock, ANOTHER show I really like that had a terrible episode. No really most of these shows I liked at some point. That includes the top 2, King of the Hill, especially towards the end, had some really bad ones, and a really REALLY weird one that played out like a psyological horror film and ended with a mentally damaged man turned into sausage, yes really, and this one is no exception.  Mrs. Wakefield is the story of an old woman who grew up in the hills house.. and wants to die there...  just stay until she dies. I get being lonely during the holidays, which is the given reason why she’s really doing this she’s cripplilngly alone: being alone sucks. I know this, I understand this.. but it still dosen’t mean you can die in someone’s house. That’s a traumatlizing pile of stuff your foisting on people you barely know and Hank keeps getting vialnized for throwing her out by the neighbors.. for NOT WANTING SOMEONE TO DIE IN HIS HOUSE. And later it gets to the point where she’s playing hider in the house and hiding in there trying to die.. what COULD be kinda funny in a twisted way just ends up being creepy. And again this episode had what was essentially a horror story about Luann marrying an older man who slowly moldeed her into the mascot for his company, chased her and peggy around in a pig mask, then got cured of his psychosis just in time to end up as sausage. And yes that was a real thing that happened. They probably shouldn’t do horror but they can do it but here it’s just dumb. Also for those curious while I haven’t seen it hider in the house is a film i’ve heard of about a man who lives in the walls of a house and stalks the suburban family that moves in to no one’s shock, it stars gary busey. I would also not be suprised if that was his life right now. But busey aside, this episode is terrible and like family guy after it and simpsons before it, King of The Hil lhad several stellar holiday episodes and as I mentioned made suicide and devloping a split personality into comedy while still keeping the drama so this.. this is inexcusable. Speaking of inexusable

1. A Robot for All Seasons (My Life as a Teenage Robot) Oh my aching head this one.... yeah this one somehow COMBINES problems from above with it’s own bundle. It has the tonal issues most of these have, being far too bleak without any real effort to back it up.. but it also makes the ENTIRE CAST into dickheads Minus our hero and her semi-stalker Sheldon.  The basic premise is Jenny, our teenage robot, gets kidnapped and taken over by a miserable boy who has her ruin christmas and every other holiday and then wake up with no memory of her being BRAINSWAHSED into it. The IDEA isn’t bad... it’s a dark cirumstnace but it’s a good premise for a half hour special and would have her on the run with her friends trying to help her after beliving she couldn’t do it right? Well... as I said, ENTIRE CAST: Brad, Tuck, HER OWN FUCKING MOTHER all apparently belivie jenny just snapped and did this all on her own, despite you know mountains of super villians. No one came looking for her, no one thought she was acting weird, no one cared. her mother is outright working on the next model.. it’d be okay if they were supsicious or if they wondered why or if ANY OF THEM besides sheldon had looked for her or done anything or if the bad guy had had her act like this was her idea.. but no she just acts massively out of character by ruining lives for a full year, and no one is suspcious and by the end all is forgiven for both the antagnoist and the assholes, even though the assholes all abandoned their best friend/daughter instead of trying to figure out what’s wrong and the angagonist, kid or no kid STOLE A YEAR OF JENNY’S LIFE AND NEARLY RUINED THE REST OF IT. And I know she’s a robot, she is immortal etc.. but she wants to be normal. she lost a year of high school, a year of friends and nearly lost everything.. and yet is just supposed to FORGET that? or that again everyone around her minus her stalker gave up on her? Fuck that, fuck this and... have a happy holidays.  The holidays are more than this pile of garbage and I will be back sometime before the 25th to celebrate the best rather than the worst, to spread joy rather than headaches.. but I do hope if you had to endure any of these that this helped you like it helped me. Have a wonderful holiday time and i’ll see you soon. 

[kincringeemporium]

The Promised Party Cat Callout (Long Post!)

Here we go, y’all. I’m not gonna go all-out with the salt and vitriol typical of my longer posts, because... this isn’t about me being salty. This is about highlighting the issues with Mod Party Cat of the fictionkinfessions blog. 

Nor is it intended to bully or chase Party Cat off of Tumblr. Yes, this is a callout post; no, it’s not an invitation to attack the blog with hate or stalk their sideblogs. And no, it’s not just my personal opinion, which we will get to. 

This is intended to show Party Cat exactly what is wrong with how they’re running the blog and how they’re behaving. If they learn from it, good. If they don’t... then, they don’t. 

Last of all, we did gather opinions from both kin and non-kin in a survey. This isn’t meant to antagonize the entire kin community. In fact, the information from kin really helped to support this argument. Thank you to the kin people who did respond to the survey. 

(Btw, survey is still open: https://goo.gl/forms/lDoffQVVmELDo2EZ2 ) 

Obvious content warnings for dark shit apply. (Abuse, depression/suicide, etc.)

With that being said... let’s begin. 

The main reasons for the callout are these: 

Passive aggressiveness to or about other mods

Passive aggressiveness to anons/senders 

“Cutesy” or overly positive typing/behavior in serious situations 

Material that is generally improper for this kind of confession blog 

Hypocrisy

Majority of survey takers agreed with each other and with the points made in this callout

We’ll go one by one. 

Passive-aggressiveness to/about mods

(The bottom half of the mod page was linking to Party Cat’s other blogs and crediting some theme elements. Not relevant to callout.)

There isn’t a lot of information about the other mods or why they left; the general consensus on Maude is that they left because of school, but nothing about Kuroocrow. Now, why is this passive aggressive? 

There was no need to publicly say that there’d been a “catfight” (ha ha, funny) with Maude. We don’t know if Maude even gave Cat permission to say this. If not, it’s disrespectful. (Nothing wrong with saying they’ll be okay.)

What Cat is saying about Kuro is even more aggressive than that. “They refuse to do anything to help!” Okay. That could be true. There’s still no need to rant about it. 

“Ask them on my behalf what the fuck is going on with them!” Adding ‘on my behalf’ comes across as incredibly self-centered. And saying ‘what the fuck’ adds to the aggressiveness. Even if not intentional, that is how it looks, and it needs to be changed.  

All that needs to be said is something like this: “It’s just me, Party Cat! Maude is on hiatus, and Kuro is absent. If anyone knows what’s going on with them, please DM me!” There. That’s respectful and to the point. 

Passive-aggressiveness to Anons/Senders 

This section will be... long. 

So.. there’s a lot of overlap here with the ‘cutesy typing’ issue, but I’ll get to that later. I had to crop the screenshot to just this because there was so much that wasn’t 100% relevant to the callout. (Context for this post: Cat promo’d a kin server, an anon found some unsavory things happening in the server, anon warned Cat, and Cat said this.)

“...Seriously there’s like a few thousand people following this blog” is an unnecessarily rude way to say this. The point itself is legitimate and understandable. It really just need to be reworded so as not to come off as salty. 

Alright, I’d understand this one if there was anything in the blog description or about pages to warn people that the blog can get dark. Confessions about death, suicide, rape, incest, murder, violence, high emotional distress, etc are jarring to see when this blog tends to be lighthearted.  

While this anon does look a little bit defensive or offended, that’s so slight compared to the defensiveness of the response. Personally, I read the question as confused. (Y’all, who agrees with me? Who disagrees?)  

Cat... people don’t tend to expect very dark content on a blog like this, especially when there’s no warning, and they might not even bother to blacklist the tags you use because they don’t expect it. (That’s a guess. If I’m wrong, then smeone should explain it. ) There isn’t much of an answer here - you just answer their question with another question. 

So, okay, I agree with Cat saying that this ask is vague. And it���s not good to add “but” after something like ‘No disrespect...’ -- because “but” does negate whatever precedes it. 

Those are the only things in this screenshot that make sense. Now we’ll get to the things that are passive-aggressive. 

“Maybe it’s because...” Vague in itself. ‘Maybe’ gives you wiggle room to get out of this perfectly legitimate critique, instead of saying “Hey, I seem this way because...” 

“People keep asking me things without providing the barest amount of information...” People actually do provide information. Sometimes it isn’t enough. That doesn’t mean they aren’t trying, and they could be dropping the subject because of how you respond (nobody really wants to interact with someone being rude). 

“I just fill up the dead air with jokes!” Plenty of people do. And it’s fine... just not in this situation. When something serious comes up, you shouldn’t simply make a joke and move on. This reads like an excuse, and even a way to shame people. (”Oh... it was only a joke? Now I feel bad! :(” ) 

“And then people get more mad because... I don’t know!” This looks like you are blaming people for their feelings. People are allowed to feel mad. It’s never okay for them to send hate or be dicks -- which they’re not doing. 

“Nobody reads that page, lollerskates!!” This could easily be solved by a regular, repeated post linking to the FAQ. Or a regular, repeated post explaining why confessions sometimes aren’t answered. Or something like that. Just a bit more effort. 

Okay: “This blog is only for kin. We want to keep it within our community. If you have questions, check out this FAQ!” 

Not okay: “You have no business interacting! You don’t know anything!” 

That ‘sincerely’ isn’t very sincere at all. Most antikin will respect kin not wanting anti interaction on their blogs. Those that don’t are being dicks. And non-kin people who don’t have anything against kin are not at all likely to be hostile toward you, so being this hostile to them is unwarranted. 

It’s confusing that this community, in general, would like non-kin and antis to become educated about what kin is/means... then such an influential blog sends a message like this. Regardless of how people feel about Cat, she does have pretty decent influence and a huge following; it’s very easy for impressionable kids to pick up on this weird double standard. 

There’s nothing wrong with preferring to let someone else educate non-kin. There’s nothing wrong with pointing non-kin in a different direction. 

There’s a lot wrong with blatantly pushing them away like this. It’s rude. 

Inappropriate Cutesy/Overly Positive Typing 

Cat isn’t stupid and knows full well what this anon (same one from before) meant. There was no need whatsoever to make such a giant joke of the question. 

(Not to mention... why the hell would she tell everybody that she has so much medical debt and can’t afford electricity? I don’t know her situation so I can’t say it is/isn’t a joke too. It is something that could genuinely upset people, and some would even believe it. It’s a terrible thing to say.)

“:3c” Not harmful in itself. Just doesn’t belong in a serious ask. 

This anon meant a post in which they were venting about abuse... they were angry that a character had abused their kintype. Cat knew that, considering their abuse content/trigger warning tags. This response looks sugarcoated and mentions some random anecdote about a thing Cat does, which is not appropriate in a situation regarding child abuse. 

This was in response to something that was legitimately annoying Cat and breaking a blog rule. It does not look like an appropriate or effective way to address the issue - even looks immature. Did people take this seriously? 

Yes, this really is a tag on a venting ask about a real life abusive stepfather. A joke. In a venting ask... about an abusive home life. There is a tag saying ‘Your stepdad sucks’, which is good. A joke, though, is too far. 

(Apologies for a repeat screenshot - I saved this one for right now, for the sake of organization.) 

There is, as I’ve been saying, no need for this. It’s very strange to ‘roleplay’ and act cute when there’s possibly a toxic Discord server going around.  

When asked if any of Party Cat’s mannerisms were bothersome, one person said this: 

Others said these things: 

Inappropriate Material 

Shoutout to @queen-dragon-slut (damn Tumblr won’t link you) for getting me this screenshot. 

What the hell, Cat? This is serious -- this is even more serious than people sending confessions saying things like “Ugh, I hate this kintype!” or “Ugh! I hate that character!” This person actually endangered their own health and safety to force themselves into a ‘kin shift’. And it’s in no way Cat’s fault. 

However. 

To not even provide the anon with links to help blogs or any kind of resources, list some tags, and move on, shows an incredible lack of effort. Not only that, but I feel bad for this person. One note. That’s it. Nobody seemed to care that someone was suffering this badly, Cat included, which is, quite frankly, disgusting. 

Again, something this dark doesn’t belong on a casual confession blog (which is what your blog looks like it’s supposed to be). And again, it genuinely fucking worried me. Is this person okay? 

And it’s not even tagged. Not as ‘suicide’, not as ‘depression’, not as ‘suicidal ideation’, nothing. Which is what this is. This person feels like they’re not needed, like they’re pointless, which exactly what suicidal ideation does to you. 

You can’t DM an anon saying, “Hey, you alright?” You can, however, at the very least, link them to the help blog page. 

Mod Ryan, who is also part of the fictionkin community whether we like it or not, has seen: 

Confessions about incest 

Confessions about being abused otherwise 

Confessions about stalking and being stalked

People saying they liked to kill 

People saying they weren’t at all sorry for violent things their kintypes did

Asks saying characters or people should’ve killed themselves 

@queen-dragon-slut said about some of the suicide-ish confessions:  “ Tbh when somebody sends in a confession saying “I killed myself in my canon” it just sounds like they have some fantasies of wanting to kill themselves but cover it up by saying that their kin kill themselves and try to play it off. That’s not healthy.”

Hypocrisy: 

Alright. That looks reasonable -- but wait. 

The asks and other screenshots I just posted do strongly come off as suicide wishes, if not actual notes. 

Here’s what people had to say when asked if they’d seen Party Cat acting hypocritical. I did not even mention suicide asks or dark asks in the survey question: 

____  I wish I had time to say more but class starts in twenty minutes. When I’m back, I will add onto the callout with one more thing: that people feel Cat isn’t doing enough to help distressed anons.

Huge thank you to everyone who helped out with this! 

It’s something that people have wanted to say for quite a while, and something that should’ve been said a long time ago. 

Nobody should be demonizing Party Cat; there is a real person behind the screen. This should be a learning experience for her. Not an attack. 

-K 

[crossroadsimagine]

Durarara & Hetalia Match up please? Okay, so my icon is what I look like. I'm 18, straight, 5'4, a Taurus, and ENFP. I'd describe myself as friendly, eclectic, playful, and enthusiastic.On the downside, I’m stubborn, impulsive, petty, and a perfectionist. Basically,I’m a very genuine and honest person (cause I’m a bad liar anyway lol) who's just a tad socially awkward 😬 My interests are: Art, video games, music, and photography. Yikes I hope that was enough information. Thanks in advance! ^_−☆

☰ Matched with Gilbert (Prussia)

Gilbert immediately shows an interestin you though maybe not in a serious romantic way at first, but he’ll stillflirt with you anyways and he’ll try to learn more about you and spend moretime with you. Which can make him seem a little persistent or pushy aboutgetting to know you, but he does show a genuine interest in you as a person andwhat you like. 

When he does ask you out, he can actually seem a bit shy orembarrassed about it but only for a moment. From the beginning of therelationship he is vey loyal and dedicated to you immediately because he doestake the relationship very seriously even though he may not always act like it,but he does get attached to you rather quickly and he will really appreciateyour company and being with you. 

He is quite content spending time with you inany way really and doesn’t need fancy or expensive trips or dates and can befairly low maintenance because simply having your attention and affection canmake him happier than you’ll ever really know. He’s happy to stay home andspend time with you playing games, listening to music or watching movies,though he can be quite competitive whenever there’s an opportunity such asplaying games, sports or even trying to instigate races over simple things. 

Gilbertdoes become very over protective of you and can get jealous at the drop of ahat, even at times when he doesn’t really need to be especially around certainpeople. He can become protective and just agitated around certain people with you,people he doesn’t like, doesn’t trust or even just people he doesn’t know verywell but they could be friends of yours. He won’t really like anyone to bespending more time with you than he does, so if you spend a lot of time with afriend, family member or even a coworker he can get annoyed and argumentativeand even quite childish about it. 

Though this is really just because he caresso much about you and is afraid of losing you, because while he does have a veryarrogant attitude at the same time, he can act far more confident and cockythan he really is and often times will hide his feelings just to not appear weak. 

He really is very loving and caring and likes to be affectionate with you notminding PDA and will instigate hugs and cuddles often even to the point ofseeming a bit clingy or even possessive. You are very friendly and playful butat the same time you can be stubborn and impulsive which really won’t botherhim in any way, though you both can be stubborn at times which means you canoccasionally bump heads. 

Though he rarely takes most arguments seriously andcan get over them rather quickly, but he can be more stubborn about apologizingespecially if he thinks he’s right. You tend to be a perfectionist which he won’tunderstand depending on the situation and he can tease you about it, he doeshave a very playful and teasing attitude which makes him tease you often and gentlypoke fun at you when an opportunity arises. 

However, he can find it really irritatingwhen anyone else teases you and he can get very defensive and quick to become hostiletowards the person, this also makes him quick to protect and defend you fromanyone who bullies, criticizes or judges you in any way, be it a friend, familymember, coworker, acquaintance or anyone he will not tolerate anyone sayinganything bad about you and he can quickly become verbally or even physicallyaggressive towards the person depending on the situation. 

Once he falls for youwhich doesn’t take long he will do anything to keep you with him and protectyou from anyone who would hurt you or just seem bad for you, he’s veryaffectionate and caring and will really like to feel needed which can make himvery helpful towards you.

☰ Headcanons between you two

■He’s almost half a foot taller than you so he can occasionally tease you aboutyour height especially any time that he can see you having problems because ofyour height, like struggling to reach something or when he hugs you he’lloccasionally lift you up or he’ll hug you from behind and rest his chin on thetop of your head.

■Shows a great curiosity in your hobbies and what you’re doing or where you’regoing, if he sees you writing or drawing etc he’ll look over your shoulder or tryand watch you or ask what you’re doing and you can only pique his interest moreif you don’t answer him or try to hide what you’re working on.

■He’ll like being affectionate and cuddly with you and enjoys holding hands withyou especially in public, he is practically always ready to cuddly with you andwill love any time you initiate affectionate acts with him first.

■He does get bored or lose interest fairly easily when doing one thingespecially if he’s not that interested from the start, though if you push himor encourage him to do something, he can get motivated again especially ifthere’s some kind of competition or reward.

☰ Other possible matches

◐ Alfred (America) is very energetic, outgoingand rather spontaneous rarely ever actually planning anything out which meansunless you plan them out dates or trips will be last minute or with barely anynotice at all. He’s very friendly and doesn’t mind PDA one bit even coming offas overly affectionate at times in public or when the two of you are alone,even at times when you are busy and trying to get something done, if he’s bored,he’ll pester you despite what you are doing. He likes spending time with youand will be rather content doing anything with you, going to amusement parks,the zoo, out to eat or staying home playing video games or watching movies. Helikes to feel needed which does make him very helpful at times especially attimes when he feels confident that he can help you with something.

◐ Masaomi is very outgoing, loving andreally encourages you to go new places with him and try new things, heabsolutely adores traveling and will constantly be suggesting new places to gowhether it’s new cities or towns, hot springs, festivals, restaurants etc. Anykind of new or unique experience he will be all for. He can be very persistentabout getting you to try new things and open up to him, and he can easily pushyou out of your comfort zone but at the same time he knows when to stop. He canhave a competitive side when it comes to games rather it’s games at festivalsor amusement parks or card games, board games or video games, he doesn’t takeit all that serious but does like to try and spur on some competition.

[panda-noosh]

how would the paladins react to their S/O being really sensitive when people yell at them and they cry easily when in fights. Basically they are just overly sensitive. thank you i’m sorry if you’re busy.

Here you go! x

Shiro:

He wouldn’t be the type of person that would let this affect him.

Shiro’s the type of guy to believe that, if you do something wrong, you should take the repercussions of it. He doesn’t believe in going easy on somebody and letting them off with the things they do, just because they’re sensitive.

So whenever you genuinely do step out of line and do something wrong and dangerous, Shiro doesn’t really contemplate your emotions; he would scold you just like how he scolds the rest of the team.

But sometimes Shiro loses his temper, and he knows he is losing his temper over something silly, and he knows it’s not your fault, but he’s just in such a bad mood and he can’t stop himself from taking his anger out on you.

Whenever you start to cry, he feels terrible.

I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s this feeling of guilt and despair and annoyance at himself for letting himself go in the way he just did.

He’d try and pull you close to him, but he would most certainly hesitate before touching you, not entirely sure if you want him to wrap his arms around you or not.

And it would be like that until you have to inform him that you’re okay - you just get flustered and emotional sometimes. 

Keith:

Keith has never really been one to raise his voice in the first place, and he likes to cut fights with you off as soon as possible.

Keith doesn’t get emotional like you do, but he doesn’t like fighting either. He tries to keep them to a minimal as much as possible.

But the first time he sees you crying because Keith loses his temper, he isn’t entirely sure what to do.

It’s not necessarily guilt he feels - it’s more confusion. Whenever he’s in that adrenaline rushed state, he doesn’t know how to get his thoughts coherent.

So he’s just kind of standing in front of you, trying to come down from the yelling he had just done, whilst at the same time trying to figure out what to say to calm you down.

In the end, I think Keith would end up just leaving to calm himself down and give you time to calm down, too.

That’s how he’s always done things, and he truly thinks it’s for the best. He doesn’t want to end up yelling at you even more, so he needs time to himself.

But as soon as you two reunite, he’s pulling you into a hug and apologising non-stop for losing his temper and upsetting you over something so small.

Lance:

Honestly, Lance isn’t one to raise his voice seriously in an argument.

Whenever Lance argues, he has a tendancy to be loud, but his volume is usually accompanied by him just mocking the person he’s arguing, which has a way of dulling the affects of what he is trying to say.

Even if he is genuinely angry, it’s sometimes difficult to take him seriously whenever he’s throwing insults at you that sound like they should come from a three year old toddler.

But the one day Lance does raise his voice, you try so hard not to cry, because he never raises his voice and he deserves to be able to lose his temper just this one time. He’s been so patient with everybody, and you want to let him lose his temper, but it’s such a horrible sight to see Lance angry and you can’t help it.

And Lance sees that you can’t help it. He sees it in the way your bottom lip quivers and the way you look away from him, clearly trying to hide your glistening eyes.

It’s almost instantaneous. Lance knows he isn’t meant to get angry at people - he wasn’t built for hostility. He jokes around and he tells people off in silly little ways, but he’s never wanted to hurt anyone in the process.

He’s immediately trying to make you feel better, wrapping his arms around you and swaying back and forth whilst cooing the most genuine apology you have ever heard.

Hunk:

Like Lance, Hunk very rarely raises his voice whenever he’s angry.

First of all, he just gets awkward whenever other people raise their voices in arguments, so he has no interest in doing it himself.

Secondly, he doesn’t see how raising his voice is going to get him anywhere in an argument with his significant other. He’d much rather sort things out in a calm and organised manner rather than going off at you.

But even Hunk is human, and sometimes he can’t help it.

And it’s the same with Hunk as it was for Lance - you know Hunk deserves to raise his voice, saying as he does it so rarely, but god seeing him angry is just terrifying.

You know he would never hurt you, but you’re just not used to seeing him in this kind of state, and it’s weird and it makes your heartbeat speed up and, before you know it, there are tears racing down your cheeks and you can’t help it.

And Hunk is shocked. 

He shouldn’t be, and he knows that. He always knew hoe sensitive you were to hostility, and he himself gets quite emotional whenever he’s around people who are fighting.

His first thought is that he truly should have known this would happen, and he should have tried to calm himself down, because the thing he was yelling over wasn’t even worth it, and he knows that.

I feel like he would try to reason with you before doing anything; he wants you to know he didn’t mean it, that he’s sorry, that he shouldn’t have lost his temper and took his anger out on you.

But then he realises that he’s blabbing on and on and you’re still crying in front of him, and it’s then that he gives up and just engulfs you in a massive, apologetic hug.

Pidge:

Like Shiro, Pidge will scold you if she thinks you’ve done something wrong and she won’t regret it if you get emotional.

It’s not a heartless thing - she loves you, don’t get me wrong, and she would do everything in her power to make you happy.

But if you do something wrong and need to be told off for it, then she isn’t going to treat you any differently from the other Paladins just because you get emotional.

But with Pidge, as well, she has a habit of losing her temper and taking it out on the person nearest to her, which is a habit she is definitely trying to break after seeing the effects it has on people.

We all know Pidge has quite a short temper, and she definitely raises her voice whenever she feels like she needs to. But sometimes that frustration she feels can build up towards the simplest of things; her computer not working, her paper work getting smudged, whenever somebody interrupts her.

And she then takes her anger out on the person nearest to her, who, more often than not, is you.

She feels like she can’t help it a lot of the time, even though she knows of the effect it has on you.

And every single time she sees you breaking down, Pidge takes a moment to question why she does it, why she can’t stop herself from yelling at you whenever she’s angry at something completely different, why you’ve stuck around with her for so long.

She genuinely just feels this weight of i don’t deserve them as she pulls you into a hug, rocking you back and forth, telling you over and over again how much she loves you and how much she needs you and how sorry she is.

Because even though she feels like she doesn’t deserve you and that you’d be so much better off with somebody else, she doesn’t want you to leave. She wants you in her arms forever, even if she feels like it’s wrong. 

[zaddyzimmermann]

Hot Off The Press Pt. 2

OKAY SO I have to apologize for taking months to write, especially since it’s been sitting in my google docs folder waiting to be edit. There’s actually more but I have to finish it first lol. So there will be a part 3 and I PROMISE it won't take as long to post. Sorry for such a long wait I know a lot of you guys enjoyed this story.

Again take into consideration artistic license lol hope you guys enjoy

Pt. 1

***

Kent and Jack have a complicated past, but what people fail to realize is that no matter how things turned out when they were teenagers, it has no effect on them now. Their “feud” has been played up so much in the beginning of Jack’s career, it never died. It’s so far from the truth, that sometimes Kent and Jack read articles together on how much they hate each other and laugh about it. They agreed a long time ago that if they ever did start up a relationship again, there had to be no hostility existing between them. However, what they realized after growing up and Jack’s eventual spot on the Falconers is that they much rather be friends.

So no, they do not hate each other or have unrequited feelings on either side. Kent is the only person Jack can talk to about Eric, so when Kent isn’t overly supportive over Skype tonight, it hurts a little.

“Jack, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Kent looks upset, with no ounce of joy on his face. “Don’t you remember what happened with me--”

“Yes, but Eric is different. He would never do that.” Jack protests, hearing the irritation in his voice.

Kent’s face is still tight and he takes a few seconds to answer. “I beg to differ. I know who Eric Bittle is, Jack. He wrote an article about dangerous plays and referenced me, but not in a positive way.”

“Well, in his defense, you do rush the net a lot--” Jack’s input didn’t improve Kent’s mood, so he stops himself before he can continue.

“How do you know he’s not trying to get close to you so he can write an article on the Zimmermann name just like every other thirsty journalist looking for a big break?”

“That was a bit harsh.” Jack says in Eric’s defense. “He’s not that kind of presser, Kent. Thomas Caswell is that type of reporter.”

Kent runs a hand through his blonde hair that’s in need of a haircut. “Whatever, Zimms. If you want to risk your career like this, go ahead. I don’t trust him, and I don’t think you should either.”

“Bye.” Jack closes his laptop and tries to take deep breaths. If Kent isn’t supportive, the only people he could talk to is his parents, and they don’t really count. Jack doesn’t talk about his sex life with his parents.

He spends five minutes self-deprecating before opening up his laptop and looking up the article Kent was talking about. It’s one that Eric wrote a year ago, and overall it’s not even that bad. He doesn’t insult Kent in a rude manner, he just points out that there should be more rules put in place so players stop running into goalies. Eric has a point when he says, “Goalies are there to protect the puck; not barreling bodies with blades strapped to their feet.” Goalies often get hurt by skate blades that cut places that have gaps in the gear.

Reading the article makes Jack feel worse, but not about his decision to keep in touch with Eric. There is no way Kent would have such a grudge against Eric over one small reference in an article posted a year ago. Kent is hiding something.

***

A couple days later, with no word from Kent, Eric texts Jack that he’ll be in Boston for a couple days because the Bruins contacted him for a more permanent job. Which is good news if they work out and terrible news if things go south. After Kent’s reaction the other day, Jack has doubts and they aren’t even dating yet. Jack isn’t sure what they are.

With much more time on his hands, Jack gets to the small coffee shop twenty minutes early that Eric tells Jack to meet him at. He finishes his coffee before Eric shows up ten minutes late.

Seeing Eric in person again kind of wipes away a lot of doubts. He’s wearing a black blazer that fits him very nicely, and knowing full well what’s underneath it, Jack takes a few moments to control himself.

Also, Eric’s genuine, bright smile when he first sees Jack wipes away about the rest of his doubts. He doesn’t know why Kent is being complicated, but at the moment Jack doesn’t care. What Kent also fails to realize is that Eric is a sports reporter, and the two of them spotted having lunch together is extremely easy to cover up. Eric could be using him for a piece for all anyone knows.

“Jack.” Eric says a little breathlessly as he sits down across from him. His cheeks are flushed from the abnormal warm weather of May and possibly embarrassment for being late. “I’m so sorry I’m late, that’s so rude of me.”

“It’s okay.” Jack means it too. “I know you had that interview this morning with the Bruins.”

Jack feels Eric’s foot wrap around his ankle under the table. They were in a corner in the back, so no one would see it. So far, Jack hasn’t been bothered once. He has a feeling Eric chose this place for a reason.

“Oh lord did that take forever.” Eric laughs a bit nervously. “But from personal experience, that’s usually a good thing. Quick interviews mean you’re a bore and they aren’t interested. Also, she said, ‘We’ll definitely keep in touch’, and not ‘We’ll let you know’.”

Jack feels a small smile creep up onto his face. “Is that second option a bad sign?”

“Yes.” Eric sighs, resting his head in his hands. “I’ve gotten that a lot and it’s always been bad news that follows. However, the first means they are considering you.”

“Thanks for the tip.” Jack laughs. “The next time I apply for a job I’ll keep that in mind.”

Eric doesn’t say anything and just stares at Jack, which causes him to falter a bit. “Did I say something wrong?”

Eric begins to play with Jack’s foot under the table with a small smirk on his face. “No, Mr. Zimmermann. I was just admiring your laugh. It’s pretty fantastic, just in case you aren’t aware.”

The thing is, Jack doesn’t see him as a reporter right now. It’s not weird, because it’s easy to separate Eric’s job from his actual personality. Jack does not personally know a lot of presser, but they typically don’t have a personality like Eric’s. Jack doesn’t think anyone has a personality quite like Eric Bittle.

“You want me to order you something?” Jack asks, suddenly feeling rude. “Did you have a chance to have lunch?”

Eric blinks in surprise like he did in fact forget about having lunch. “Oh wow, I guess I didn’t. I was just so excited to see you I forgot to get something. I’ll be right back.” Eric slides out of his chair and Jack has no shame in admiring his ass as he walks towards the counter to order  lunch. A buzzing in his pocket disrupts his staring, so he quickly pulls it out of his pocket to check.

Kenny: Sorry about the other night. I didn’t mean to be a dick.

I just worry about you.

Jack doesn’t know how to respond to that just yet, so he ignores it and saves it for later. Eric comes back a few minutes later with an iced drink that has whipped cream on the top and a small sandwich.

“So, Jack Zimmermann,” Eric starts before taking a bite. “What have you been up to? I notice you avoid talking about yourself whenever we skype.” Eric doesn’t point this out unkindly, just with curiosity.

“Um…” Jack has to think for a moment, because no one has genuinely wanted to know besides his parents. “I like photography. Parse made me an instagram, but I don’t really know how to use it.”

Eric smiles into his next bite, looking extremely endeared. The mention of Parse didn’t seem to phase him. “Photography, huh? An athlete, model and now an artist. What can’t he do?”

Jack’s face grows hot at the mention of being a model. “It was one shoot, I wouldn’t call myself a model.”

“One shoot.” Eric scoffs, but in an amused way. “Yeah, one shoot that absolutely killed ninety-eight percent of the population.”

Jack isn’t used to this type of praise so directly. Because of this, he directs the conversation to something else. It’s not like he doesn’t enjoy Eric talking about him that way, he’s just worried his skin tone will show how embarrassingly red he’s getting. So he decides to play fair. “Aren’t you a genius? You avoided that label the last time I mentioned it.”

Now Eric turns a bit red, so Jack counts that as deserved payback. “Like I said, it’s all relative. It’s an ivy so they don’t award scholarships, but they provided me with some nice financial aid when they sought me out for hockey which is kind of like a loophole if you ask me--”

“Hockey.” Jack blinks, a little surprised. It’s not like Eric doesn’t look capable, it’s just… Well, Eric doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would like the violence, judging by his stance involving more safety regulations in the sport.

Eric isn’t offended by Jack’s reaction, just amused. “Yes I know, shocking. However, being skilled at a sport only takes you so far in an ivy with ‘cutthroat academic scholars’, and with the threat of losing my spot on the team and possibly a big chunk of my financial aid for future years, a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do.”

Jack feels a slow smirk creep on his face. “So like any normal guy, you became Valedictorian.”

“Ha! They didn’t even see it coming.” Eric laughs before taking a sip of his drink. “Mostly everyone there was nice and supportive, but there are always a select few who think the world owes them something just because they have a high GPA.”

“Sometimes I wish I finished my junior year at Samwell.” Jack admits. “But when the Falconers sought me out I thought I would never get another opportunity quite like that one. Besides, it was relatively close to my friends and I didn’t want to go too far.”

Jack and Eric talk a little bit more, and suddenly Jack realizes this lunch together possesses all the traits of a date. Jack is still confused on where they stand with each other, but he also feels like, as always, he’s reading too much into something that might not even be there. However, it’s hard to think that when Eric keeps looking at him like that.

Jack makes an extremely risky move; he takes Eric back to his apartment. It’s mid-afternoon, so it’s not like Jack has any explicit plans. Eric seems genuinely interested in an apartment tour, and gushes about the kitchen for some reason. Jack will ask about that later. Maybe he likes to cook or something.

Eric jumps up onto the kitchen counter and glances around like he’s looking for something. And for what? Jack has no idea.

“So how often do you eat on this lovely surface?” Eric swings his legs back and forth, waiting in anticipation for Jack’s answer.

“Usually I just eat on the couch or use the table in the--”

Then Eric is pulling off his shirt and grabbing Jack’s tie to pull him closer. “Perfect.”

***

It’s been a few months of texting, skyping, then escalating to sexting and skype sex. Eric Bittle is certainly not his boyfriend, mostly because Jack was too afraid to ask. Eric is no one to ignore, and with his job involving interviews of multiple hockey players, Jack doesn’t expect him to just… well, to just not be with other people.

However, Jack wants them to be something more. He knows it’s an unappealing offer, especially since Jack is all the way in Providence and they only play the Penguins on average four times a year. It would be a long distance, closeted relationship. Besides, what they were doing now is fine for him. It’s not as much pressure, even if deep down he knows he wants Eric all to himself. Which is why Jack doesn’t clarify their relationship the next time they skype, or the time after that.

***

“So,” Eric says on the other side of the screen, absently chewing on a pen as he edits an article one of his colleges submitted. Apparently, he’s often asked to edit the more important pieces for grammar and spelling. He says it’s easier to spot mistakes when his eyes aren’t strained by a computer. “I have super super good news... and terrible news.”

This piques Jack’s interest a little, but not particularly in a good way. “What’s that?”

Eric puts down his pen and rests his head in his hand, a slow smile creeping up on his face. “I got a new job that’s more permanent.”

Now Jack’s interest is definitely piqued in a good way. “Oh yeah? Where?”

“Boston Bruins.” Eric’s smile is so bright, Jack can’t help to mimic it just a little. It seems almost too good to be true. Eric would be only about an hour away, so they could meet up in person instead of their online relationship which isn’t clarified as a relationship.

“Bad news.” Jack reminds Eric to tell him, which causes Eric’s smile to fade.

“Tom Caswell will be my boss. I know there was this big article on how he’s changed, and maybe I’ll give him a chance, but I seriously doubt that old bird has changed even a little bit. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

Jack just stares for a moment, not knowing how to respond. “How did he even get that job?”

Eric shrugs, looking disappointed and defeated. “Honestly? Because the stuff he writes sells and he’s always on television. He’s been in this field for over twenty years, and the Bruins social media platform has improved significantly since they hired him.”

“But… He assaulted you.” Jack says, incredulous. “How does that look good for their organization?”

Eric shrugs, like he’s already accepted his fate. That makes Jack frustrated a little, because Eric doesn’t deserve the harassment he’s probably going to get from Thomas.

“Listen, Jack. No one really knows who we are, much less what our track records are. If a hockey player punched me, that would have been different.” Eric doesn’t look at Jack anymore, he just draws something with his pen that Jack can’t see. “I can deal with him. I’ve been dealing with him from the beginning.”

“When would you start?” Jack asks, needing to change the subject.

“In a couple weeks.” Eric still doesn’t look at Jack, which kind of sets off an alarm bell in his mind. He wanted to change the subject so Eric wouldn’t be sad anymore, but Thomas must not be the sore subject that’s bothering him.

“Eric, what’s wrong?”

He pauses with his pen before slightly glancing up. “You don’t seem to want me in Boston.”

Jack frowns a little at that, because in a way that is true. However, it’s not true for the reason Eric probably thinks. “Of course I want you in Boston, but not if Thomas is just going to make you miserable.”

“I can deal with him, Jack--”

“I’m serious.” Jack cuts him off this time, which he typically never does. He loves listening to Eric go on rants or just when he speaks in general, but this is different. This is harassment. “Do you truly think he’s changed?”

Eric clears his throat before responding so softly, Jack almost doesn’t hear it. “No.”

“Maybe I could talk with the Falconer’s PR department--”

That didn’t seem to help the problem at all, because Eric’s head snaps up and he looks borderline angry. “No, Jack. I’m not using you to get a better job or a leg up, that’s not what this--” Eric gestures between both of them.  “--is about. So absolutely not. Like I said, I can handle Thomas. If the Bruins are smart, they will keep into consideration what Thomas did to me. If they want to look good, they won’t let that happen again.”

“Okay. I trust you.” Jack means it this time, but he also can’t give up this perfect opportunity to ask, “But what exactly is this, Eric?”

Eric’s determined expression changes to one of shy happiness so fast, Jack nearly doesn’t keep up. “I don’t know, honey. That’s up to you. What do you want it to be?”

Jack wasn’t prepared for that response at all. He clears his throat a couple times to buy just a little time. “Well, um, I really like you. A lot. And… I’m not so good at this.” Jesus christ, he sounds like a thirteen year old.

“I really like you too, Jack Zimmermann. A lot. And I’m not good at this either, because I’ve never really had anything like this before.” Eric gives him an excited smile before saying, “So I think it’s better if we discuss this in person, yeah? Because I really wanna kiss you right now and it’s botherin’ me that I can’t.”

“Okay.” Jack lets out a breath he doesn’t realize he’s holding. “Okay, yeah. When are you getting here?”

“In one week.” Eric grins. “You think you can wait that long?”

“I can try.” Jack smiles back.

“Good, because I have no patience and at least one of us needs to have some self control. I’ll probably send you a super inappropriate snap later on. Talk to you soon, honey.”

“Okay, Eric.” Jack laughs before signing off. It’s been a long time since he’s been this happy during an off-season.

***

“I mean it has…” Jack observes Eric’s small apartment with skepticism. “...personality.” It actually looks like a death trap, but Jack doesn’t say that. He’ll probably sneak some people in here to fix up the place as a housewarming gift.

“It has a functioning kitchen and a window.” Eric argues. “So, not that bad.”

“Oh yeah, you still have to bake me one of those pies you go on and on about. For all I know, you could be lying to me.” Jack smirks when Eric gives him a horrified look.

“I’m going to ignore the fact you just said that in knowledge of your ignorance.” Eric huffs out before dumping a box onto the blue couch the owner left behind. A cloud of dust bloomed in its wake.

“I just have to clean it up a little.” Eric says more to himself than to Jack. “That’s all.”

“If anyone can do it, it’s probably you.” Jack places down another box on the small coffee table so he can wrap his arms around Eric’s waist. His head falls back against Jack’s shoulder as he wraps his own arms around Jack’s.

“You are quite the charmer, Mr. Zimmermann. I mean, besides your pie comment--”

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Jack suddenly blurts out, even though he planned on making it less awkward and immature.

Eric just laughs a little as he turns around in Jack’s arm. He glances up at him with a warm smile on his face. One that nearly causes Jack to melt right then and there. “My goodness, so formal. Of course I’ll be your boyfriend. I’d be an idiot not to.”

Eric initiates the kiss by wrapping his arms around Jack’s neck to pull him closer. It’s pretty innocent for a while until Eric wants more and slips his tongue into Jack’s mouth. Jack has to break away for a moment, because he did have something else important he needed to say. “I know it will suck being in the closet again, but it won’t be like this forever. I’m not giving you an empty promise. I want to come out, but when I’m ready.”

Eric reaches up to gently pat Jack’s cheek, and stares at him with complete adoration. “I don’t doubt you, Zimmermann. You are one of the most genuine guys I have ever met. I’m a journalist, so those are hard to come by. You are destined for great things.”

“You seem to have a lot of faith in me, eh Bittle?”

Eric pecks him on the lips before saying, “I always have, Jack.”

[bestofglitchedpuppet]

1) it’s in mod charthur’s reply to an ask about cyberbullying. she uses she/her for glip 

2) this is your blog. you are responsible for what you reblog and who you reblog from. any reblog is an endorsement of the content within. I’m referring to your reblog of stopscammingartists where an anon says that glip “has no idea what dysphoria is” and a later commenter proceeds to call glip a transphobe. for loudly being unapologetic about not having characters who experience self hatred about their bodies. some trans people agree, some don’t agree about this writing choice. also not to seriously speaking of reblogs are you seriously reblogging a guy who accuses someone of chopping their husband’s balls off

3) i have to disagree here, having someone publicly broadcast their coping art as being a fetish for kids as an “admit to having weird fetishes” is really nasty 

4) I don’t care if you hate glip or not i honestly don’t but you are running a ship being boarded by people who don’t seem to care about the truth, just personal vendettas. i can see you’re trying to do something here but it’s just coming off as overly hostile to me

1. I found the ask and corrected it. Thank you. Mod Charthur made a mistake and I’ve talked to her about it.

2. I’ll have to disagree here. I can reblog something without endorsing everything they post. I don’t normally check the blogs I reblog from, just the posts and that’s just simple fact-checking. You’re right. Some trans people agree and some do not and either group is able to voice their opinions. I happen to not agree with it. That’s my opinion. I respect yours. As for the comments on said post, I can’t really say much about that. That’s simply how that person feels on the matter. All I can do is delete the comment if it’s really an issue.

3. I respect your decision to disagree. I don’t mean to seem nasty about it but it’s hard for me to actually word these things. A lot of people feel hurt by the things that Glip has done and I just feel it needs to be addressed and that their initial post just seemed to come off as ungenuine. That’s how I felt and what I voiced.

4. It is not my wish to seem hostile. I am prone to letting my emotions take over at times, and for that I do apologize. My goal is only to spread awareness for these things. I can’t speak for others and I can’t control who spreads the posts either. I can only hope that I’m reaching people who genuinely care. Thank you. ~J

[ncfan-1]

What Was Going On With Kanan During ‘Trials of the Darksaber’?

So I wrote a couple of weeks ago about how Kanan still seems to have a hard time keeping his baggage from getting in the way of his being a good teacher, if his interactions with Sabine in ‘Trials of the Darksaber’ are any indication. However, there was something else about their interactions that was gnawing at me, something not directly acknowledged, but still very salient.

A reviewer for this episode got the gears turning in my mind when they pointed out that part of the trouble for Kanan and Sabine this episode is that they are very much alike, and that as a result they have a hard time keeping from butting heads when they have to interact one-on-one for long periods of time. That made sense to me. I’d noticed a similar tension between the two during ‘The Protectors of Concord Dawn,’ though not quite to the same extent as in this episode (And it’s interesting for parallel purposes that even though Kanan tries to rein Sabine in from going into full revenge mode, he still makes what I’m pretty sure is an implied death threat to Rau during their conversation in the bar). As for the parallels between Kanan and Sabine, there are actually many:

- They both had their lives basically completely destroyed at a young age, Kanan by Order 66, and Sabine by turning against the Empire after weapons she built were used on her people, only for her family to hang her out to dry for one reason or another, and being forced to flee Mandalore. Both were forced to flee for their lives, and only have a few mementos of their former lives—for Sabine, her armor (especially her helmet, which is supposed to have been passed down to her by her mother) and possibly her blasters; for Kanan, his lightsaber and the Jedi holocron. Kanan was fourteen when this happened to him, and Sabine was probably just a couple of years younger than that when this happened to her (I am leaning towards Sabine having been a preteen when all this went down, both because it makes more sense timeline-wise, and because it might explain where the ‘missing’ pieces of her armor fans have commented on are: she outgrew them).

- They both carry a lot of guilt over what happened. I think that even as of Season 3, Kanan still feels rather guilty for having run, even though Depa told him to run and if he’d stayed, he just would have gotten killed. Even if the guilt has abated a little from Season 1, it’s still there. Sabine feels guilt over building weapons that were used to enslave her people, and were turned on people she loved. If I had to guess, I’d say she might carry a bit of internalized victim-blaming over her family abandoning her; if it exists, I doubt said internalized victim-blaming is nearly as strong now as it was back when all of this was first happening to her, but it likely still lingers.

- As we see in A New Dawn, Kanan initially (post-Janus, anyways) responded to the trauma by trying really, really hard not to care about anything or anyone but himself, to just harden his heart to the suffering of the people around him. Judging from Sabine’s line in ‘Blood Sisters’, “We didn’t care about anyone but ourselves,” it sounds like Sabine went through a similar period, employing a similar coping mechanism.

- Both Sabine and Kanan tend to be a bit emotionally distant as of the Rebels timeline, though they are noticeably warmer and more open with the small circle of people they trust. They both care deeply for their loved ones, though they tend to be rather restrained in how they express that care.

- They can both be pretty tightly-wound, though Kanan has been slowly moving past that. They can also both be a bit irritable sometimes, too (Especially implied by Ezra mentioning in ‘Blood Sisters’ that Sabine tells him to leave her alone a lot).

- They both have avoidance as their go-to method for coping with their trauma. Kanan went about fifteen years without using his lightsaber, and only using the Force a handful of times. Sabine hardly ever talks about her past; it’s implied that she confided some of it in Hera, but it doesn’t seem like she told Hera much, and that the rest of the crew know even less.

- Both take up a certain “mantle”, but aren’t at first truly willing to accept the responsibility that goes along with it. Kanan agrees to train Ezra in the ways of the Jedi at the end of the pilot, but his training methods are at first completely half-assed. To its credit, the show addresses this, and doesn’t just laugh it off, with it being pretty clear that Kanan’s sense of guilt and inadequacy was what was causing him to not put his all into training Ezra. Sabine retrieves the Darksaber from Dathomir, and pretty much immediately hands it over to Kanan, and acts as though she never found it up until the events of this episode. She claims at first that she can’t wield it because it’s a lightsaber, and though she might have experience with bladed weapons, a lightsaber is in a class by itself, but by the end of the episode, it is painfully clear that it was her own sense of guilt and inadequacy that caused her to initially reject the Darksaber.

With all of these parallels, these particular parallels, it’s pretty understandable why Kanan and Sabine would butt heads if they were in a situation where the former has to teach the latter. But there was something else going on all throughout the episode, a rather unpleasant undercurrent to Kanan and Sabine’s interactions that I didn’t pick up on the time, but rather, noticed in retrospect. There’s a fine line between having to go hard on Sabine because they don’t have a lot of time and the galaxy at large finding out she has the Darksaber is going to paint a bull’s eye on her back and just being an asshole, and Kanan does cross from the former to the latter over the course of the episode.

It hit me that he was probably projecting on her. A lot. And with that, everything started to make sense. Because, you see, even after three seasons, Kanan still doesn’t seem to like himself very much, and if he’s projecting on someone as much as he seemed to be on Sabine during ‘Trials of the Darksaber,’ that is probably not going to end well.

You see it in the way he at first refuses to let her train with the Darksaber itself, on the grounds that he feels Sabine is in such turmoil that she’ll hurt herself if she tries to use it. Hera has to remind Kanan that that kind of strategy is not going to work with Sabine, that it’s only going to reinforce for her the belief that she isn’t capable of handling the Darksaber. But it does seem like the sort of logic Kanan would apply to himself, in Sabine’s situation. If he was in severe emotional turmoil, with his judgment clouded, he would probably consider it unsafe for him to handle a lightsaber. This is probably the weakest of my points, which is why I made it first, but a little bit that might strengthen it is that Kanan ‘stalling’ for so long and Sabine going along with it for so long plays into their shared tendency towards avoidance. They both tend to dance around their issues instead of facing them head on if they have even the illusion of a choice.

You see it in Kanan deriding Mandalorian gadgets the way he does. I think he does have a point when he says that Sabine shouldn’t be overly reliant on them, because, well, look what happened to Pre Vizsla. And I also think that yeah, the vambraces probably shouldn’t have been introduced until after she’d gotten a better handle on the Darksaber. But what seems to escape Kanan during this exchange is that Sabine is not a Jedi. She is not a Jedi who is going to be fighting other Force wielders. She is a Mandalorian who, most likely, will be almost exclusively fighting other Mandalorians, Mandalorians who will have tools and gadgets designed to gain an edge over less well-equipped opponents. Sabine does not just need the Darksaber, and does not just need those tools and gadgets; she needs them both.

In general, Kanan spends a lot of time this episode treating Sabine more like a recalcitrant Jedi Padawan than anything else. He honestly seems to have a rather jaundiced view of Mandalorian culture, and while it’s understandable that he might look askance at all the infighting between different Mandalorian factions, this kind of has to hamper Sabine’s efforts to get in the mindset of possibly becoming a leader to her people. He does seem to be treating her like he would himself, and that causes problems.

And I think Sabine’s hostility towards Kanan in this episode might be her subconsciously picking up on his projecting on her. I definitely think part of it is her lashing out due to her own traumatic memories, and the fact that she really was pressured into doing this and she only really seems to begin wanting to do this at the very end of the episode and is deeply resentful of this, but I think another part of it was her subconsciously picking up on the fact that he was projecting on her, and her knee-jerk reaction just being “How dare you?!”

Kanan’s apology is a good start (as is Sabine’s), but as soon becomes very clear, the only thing he’s realized at this point is that his training methods are not working because they’re simply not compatible with Sabine’s personality, not that he’s projecting on her. Because once they start their duel, he starts goading her. And keeps goading her, and gets honestly kind of vicious about it. And what does he say? “You ran.”

“You ran.”

Kanan said that.

Kanan.

Guys. “You ran” is really, incredibly loaded coming from Kanan.

And when Sabine finally tells him what really happened, the look on his face isn’t just one of sadness. Oh, I do think that Kanan genuinely felt horribly sorry for her. Up until now, he must have gotten the idea that whatever happened with Sabine on Mandalore, it must have been bad, but it looks like the truth is likely worse than anything he’d imagined. But frankly, he looks remorseful as well.

First of all, forcing Sabine to reveal her past in this way, forcing her to reveal all of this just to defend herself from his taunts, is bordering on humiliating, and when Kanan is thinking clearly, I don’t think that humiliating Sabine was ever his intention. But this revelation seems to have jarred him enough that he finally realized what he was doing, finally realized that he’d been projecting on her so much that he lost sight of the fact that just because Sabine is similar to him, does not mean she is the same as him. That the circumstances under which she fled the ruins of her life are not the same as the circumstances under which he fled. That he was hurting her more than he was helping, and doing her a massive disservice by projecting on her.

I think (I hope) that having been jarred out of this mindset as harshly as he was, Kanan won’t fall into that trap again. I hope that if we don’t see them having a long talk about what happened come next episode, there is at least the implication that they had one off-screen. The great thing about Kanan is that even if he isn’t really all that great of a teacher, he is trying his best, and he does learn from his mistakes. And does care about his ‘kids’ enough that he really doesn’t want to hurt them, so I do think he’ll remember not to make the same mistake in future.

And obviously, my interpretation is subjective. You might not see it the same way. But I do think it adds an interesting (if painful) layer to what is already one of the best episodes in the whole series.