#i gave myself somewhat of a break and did oneshots this week

[codevassie]

Oneshot BF Fic Recs

[***Let me know if I’ve missed anything on the Content Warnings!]

[**Do Not Ask Authors for Updates!]

[*Leave these authors Comments, please and thank you!]

these pale and hungry scavengers by kay_cricketed

Status: Complete

Summary: While they're in Cape Code, Ash navigates the loss of his brother and learns something new about Eiji. (And somewhere, somehow, perhaps Griffin Callenreese considers this to be the most fitting eulogy he could have asked for: some poetry, and that these two should meet and leave things such as boundaries to continents.)

Relationships: Asheiji

CW: Grief/Mourning, Implied Child Abuse

My thoughts: This is one of my faves. It may not completely align with Fly Boy, but it still considers Eiji’s life before he left Japan, and I eat that shit right up. And it’s both Ash and Eiji angst, so double-whammy on my feels. It’s so beautifully written, in that slow, contemplative way, and I love the setting, early morning on the beach--it feels secluded and personal. It’s a small moment between them, like the moments they have in canon, and it feels both very real and very separate from canon--almost surreal, I suppose. Great one; y’all go check it out.

won’t even wish for snow by ADreamingSongbird

Status: Complete

Summary: It's the stupidest hat Ash has ever seen. Who would even buy something that tacky? It's ugly and ridiculous and so, so dumb. What a waste of money.... but Eiji would love it. God dammit.

Relationships: Asheiji

CW: None

My thoughts: I love angst, but the show has so much already that it really is a relief all the fluffy fics that are out there. I mean...... “Think of the devil, and he shall text you five heart emojis” where else are you going to get such quality stupidly adorable shit? This is the exact kind of stuff that makes my heart go all big and squishy. Ew. How dare. I love it. They’re so domestic in this fic, which wasn’t something I cared too much for until this fandom, but now it’s all I want for these two and this fic is so On Point with it. Come get your fluffy asheijis and read this one.

a pocket full of dreams by DuendeJunior

Status: Complete

Summary: There’s a cat on Ash’s fire escape. (In which a cat adopts Ash instead of the other way around, Eiji is much too selfless for his own good, and certain confessions happen along the way.)

Relationships: Asheiji

CW: Overworking, Stress, Illness, Cat Scratch

My thoughts: One of the tags on this fic is: “eiji works too hard and ash puts a cat on him” which I believe sums it up Quite nicely. This fic,,,, is So Pure. Ash suddenly has a cat, and that’s a whole journey. Their characterization is exactly on point too: banter and snark and softness all wrapped up nicely. I am so fond for this fic bc it’s cat shenanigans and sweetness. Maybe I’m a simple bitch. Throw some cute asheijis my way and I’ll cry at your feet forever. But, eh, sometimes we’re all simple bitches. This fic hit all the greatness and you all should check it out. 

walking on a dream by kybelles

Status: Complete

Summary: Ash and Eiji welcome an addition to their little family one night. “Look, I think you and I need to have a conversation.” Ash tells him in a serious tone, petting his ears with both hands. Buddy almost looks like he’s going to burst from enjoyment. “Are you trying to steal my husband from me? Because, I get it, Eiji’s the most lovable person on Earth. But I feel like you’re forgetting that he’s my husband.” Buddy lies down on the floor for a belly rub. Ash sighs, giving him what he wants. “Buddy, please. I’d appreciate if you could take this conversation more seriously. You’re being disrespectful now.”

Relationships: Asheiji

CW: Recovery, Trauma, Illness

My thoughts: Ash lives and Eiji still gets Buddy, so this post-BF fic has the best of both worlds. Watching Ash be jealous of this puppy is absolutely adorable and hilarious. Honestly, this is what they freaking deserved. I probably say that to all fix-its in this fandom, but the fans really treat these boys better than canon so I’ll stand by saying that to every fix-it. Not everything is up and fixed, which makes it realistic. That trauma, it takes recovery. But they also get a happily ever after and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for these boys. A happily ever after with Buddy bc he’s one of the best parts of GoL.

mom said it’s my turn to use the braincell by equinoctial 

Status: Complete

Summary: "For someone who had the same smarts as Einstein and the reflexes of a professional hitman, Ash Lynx could be a real dumbass." – Eiji Callenreese-Okumura, driving his husband to the hospital at speeds that made Grand Theft Auto look like church 

Relationships: Asheiji

CW: Hospital, Medication Side Effects, Surgery Mention

My thoughts: This oneshot is so cute and funny and utterly adorable. This author has such a distinct style that makes reading all their works so fun. Loopy Ash is freaking great; he’s so oblivious and whoozy. Shorter is having the time of his life watching it all. Eiji seems to find it humorous, but is also adorably flustered by Ash’s loopy compliments. If you want some fluff and humor, definitely check this one out. 

[thesoulspulse]

When Blue Eyes Meet (Good Vlad AU ~ Oneshot)

Summary: I couldn't sleep and got this beautifully heartfelt idea in my head about how my Good Vlad met his cat Madison for the first time and how she helped turn his life around. It's about she adopted him, sensing how bad Vlad needed a friend after Jack and Maddie moved on with their lives until they finally meet again at their college reunion. Warning, this mentions character death.

Vlad's POV

I'll never forget that day, the day I met a very special little lady.

I had only been fully discharged from the hospital for a few weeks but...after I insisted on making sure Jack and Maddie could move on with their own lives without me since I wouldn't drag them down, but once returned home I was suddenly reminded of how alone in the world I really was now. Both my parents had passed away before I started my freshman year of college but they left me with everything I would need to secure a bright future, even the house which gave me a place to return to in the first place since we had no idea the accident would result in me being bedridden for several years.

But as soon as I stepped inside the house, just like my heart it felt so...hollow.

The warmth I used to feel there was long gone, and it had nothing to do with still needing to pay the heating bill. And I suppose it's fortunate that the money I had set aside to pay for my school supplies and my half of the rent was enough to pay for my hospital bills so I had just enough left over to invest in gaining a new lease on life after the accident. It would take time, but I was confident I would be able to go back and continue my studies eventually, but for now I need to focus on figuring out how to cope with the other huge transformation I had undergone.

I almost had to laugh at the irony because perhaps I'm only living a half-life since the accident turned me half-ghost. It was difficult at first, hiding the truth about my condition not only from Jack and Maddie, but the nurses and doctors as well. Thankfully, I inherited my father's sharp wits and managed to conceal my powers fairly well. As for the rest, it was just easier to let people assume they were only seeing things whenever they saw a strange light or my hand seemed to pass through solid objects. After all, who would ever believe that a human with ghost powers could possibly exist...?

Still, I suppose one good thing about returning to that house is that it was nice to finally be able to relax somewhat knowing I wouldn't need to hide my powers from anyone, or at least not nearly as often when I was still a patient. I would still have to be careful if someone came to visit me, but honestly the odds of that happening ere  highly unlikely. I say this because I have no living relatives left. No parents, no cousins or siblings, just me.

Sighing I set down my bags and started unpacking boxes. I needed something else to occupy my thoughts because I still hadn't quite gotten over the fact that I lost my scholarship. Realistically I knew that couldn't be helped given what happened to me so instead I turned my attention to the things I still could control, such as ensuring I still had a place to live since I was no longer a student and Jack wasn't my roommate anymore.

Speaking of which, right from the start I wanted make sure to avoid living somewhere with too many people around so although my original plan was to move back here after graduation I made the decision to return to this town ahead of schedule in light of my extenuating circumstances.

There were still faint traces of my old life here back from when my parents were still alive such as my father's desk and my mother's cooking supplies. And quite honestly, being back here and suddenly feeling their absence all over again...it made me sad. I missed them, just as much I miss Jack and Maddie but I had to start moving on too. So I shook my head, turned our old record player, and kept myself busy by unpacking my belongings.

Luckily I had everything I owned in the dorm moved here after it became painfully clear I wouldn't be able to attend classes anymore due to my critical condition. Jack and Maddie offered to do it for me personally but I declined their kind off because for one thing I didn't want them to find out where I live before I had enough time to gain full control of my powers, and for another I wanted to make a clean break for their sake...

I was dangerous to be around whether I liked it or not so exposing them to danger while my powers were still a bit difficult to control was not a risk I was willing to take. Especially since those two are all I had left and someday...I really hoped I'd be able to meet them again and tell them the truth about my powers. But until then, all I could do was try my best to start over and hope for the best.

~

Once I settled in, I began testing out my powers more, taking notes, pushing my limits, and yet the more I learned about myself the more I wished I had someone to share my discoveries with. Jack could be overzealous at times, but I missed how excited we both felt after making a new discovery about ghosts or ectoplasmic energy. And Maddie, she always knew how to reign us in so we could look at things more objectively even though she was usually just as eager to find out more too.

Having no one left to talk to or come home to had finally started to get to me and sadly as a result that's when the nightmares started up again too. Just like back in the hospital I would wake up in a cold sweat, clutching the sheets in both fists as the ghostly blue glow of my eyes cast flickering shadows on the walls. I had gotten careless because I thought I would be alright as long as I didn't have to worry about a doctor or a nurse walking in at any second and seeing my eyes glowing in the darkness.

That's when I realized I had to do something about this before things escalated even further and my emotions spiraled out of control again without some sort of outlet. I needed to make a connection, a way to overcome this shadow looming over me, so I considered seeing a therapist to prevent these nightmares from overtaking me. But I was afraid that if I did talk to someone...what if I became too emotional and exposed my powers to them? That could be a huge problem. I could always overshadow them, but I'd still be avoiding dealing with this terrible helplessness I felt.

That day, I was wandering around town in a daze, conflicted about how to deal with the problem when I happened to enter a local animal shelter. The people at the front desk were friendly, but I had never considered how my...ghostly attributes might make most animals wary of me since they have a sixth sense for the supernatural which quite honestly made me feel even more detached from the person I once was. As a boy I got along well with most animals but I never felt particularly attached to them. Dogs were a bit too energetic for my tastes and I had to deal with that enough with Jack but cats on the other hand, well I have always appreciated their independent spirit but I never considered them to be very affectionate animals...

That all changed the instant I saw her.

On my way out the door after satisfying my idle curiosity about how animals seem to perceive me now that I'm only half human I noticed this sleek black kitten staring directly at me with the most stunning blue eyes I've ever seen and when our eyes met, what I felt...I can't even describe it. It felt as though she was looking right at me, into my heart, and for the first time since the accident, it was like someone had noticed how lost I was and there was this unmistakable look of gentle sympathy in her eyes.

Mesmerized by her gaze, I turned around and asked the person at the desk more about her and they told me she had been abandoned which I could relate to to some degree. To be fair I hadn't been abandoned necessarily, but I felt that way sometimes since it was gradually becoming harder and harder to wake up alone in that empty house every morning, not sure what I should be doing with the rest of my life now that I'm all alone and don't have friends to confide in anymore I can visit whenever I want.

Impulsively I asked if I could hold her and they agreed, smiling at me secretively as if they already knew I felt an instant attachment to her and as soon as they handed her to me...she clung to me like her life depended on it and then crawled up onto my shoulders, wrapping her tiny body around my neck as much as possible and as soon as she was comfortable she started purring. It was like a hug of sorts and I had no idea how starved for the gentle contact from another living creature of any kind from someone that wasn't just another doctor poking and prodding me that all I remember is falling to my knees soon after, sobbing and resting my cheek against her head as she rubbed against me, licking away my tears.

Finally, I thought, this is what I've been searching for ever since I came home. I've missed having someone there who cares about me, someone to remind me that I'm not alone, someone who can stay by my side so I don't have to suffer in silence anymore without a friend there to comfort me just when I start to think I can't bear it anymore.

I'm sure everyone who saw me that day were just as stunned as I was by my meltdown, but I didn't care. I needed her. And she needed me, no, for reasons I cannot even begin to fathom she WANTED to be with me and no one else. It's like she had been waiting for me to walk in that door from the very start. Waiting for me to give her a home, a family, and most importantly...a name. And that name would become a bond that could never be broken, not even after her tragic death some years later when she returned to my side once more as a ghost because she knew I still desperately needed a friend-

And that's how Madison became my closest and dearest companion.

We’ve been inseparable ever since.

[random-imagines-blog]

Perfect Skin {Remus Lupin x Reader Oneshot}

Requested by: @soularsmate Wordcount: 2570 Summary: Sometimes, a little jealousy can go a long way. Notes: Andrew Garfield as Remus Lupin.

To say that Remus got a little testy near the full moon was an understatement. Even James and Sirius knew to keep their joking and pranking of their best friend to a low around those times. It was like he already transformed into a wolf with how he snarled at anyone who poked fun at him. Even you. It wasn’t even like you had said anything mean to him, you just complained a little about a scar that you had from falling off of your broom the last time that you played Quidditch with James. “Why are you even with me if you hate scars?” He asked, making you and your group go quiet. He wasn’t loud enough for others in the Common Room to overhear over the sound of their own chatter, but he was getting there. “If you hate them that much, then I’ll solve the problem for you. I can’t hurt you if I don’t see you. We’re over.”

“Remus,” You protested, trying to reach out for him. Usually a hand on his shoulder or a kiss on his cheek was enough to calm him down somewhat. But he wasn’t in the mood for that today. He backed out from your touch, refusing himself that little bit of comfort. And refusing you that comfort as well. It hurt like hell when he got up and left the room, the cloud of bad temper over his head. You just watched, mouth agape, the sweet boy that you had been dating for four months, walking away like you were nothing.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean that...” James said, running his fingers through his eternally-messy hair.

“Yeah, he cares about you a lot,” Peter added in.

“It’s just his moon time, you know how he gets,” Sirius insisted.

But despite them staying with you and trying to convince you that everything was fine, you felt that sting in his words. He had meant them. You shouldn’t have been so stupid as to bring up scars, knowing that they were an insecurity for him. He often went on and on about how you had such perfect skin. It was like he was ignoring that you had scars of your own. That you went through your own pain and troubles and got to the other side of them. Nothing as intense as his of course but - it wasn’t a competition. It shouldn’t have felt like one.

“I don’t want to be here when he gets back,” You said, getting up after a couple of minutes of the boys trying to cheer you up. “Even if he didn’t mean what he said, he still said it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You left the three boys looking sheepish and upset - they rarely ever saw Remus snap at you like that and it left them feeling uncomfortable. James eventually got up and said he was going to go look for Remus, Peter went up to do some homework before the sunset and they would be going out, and Sirius sat there and stewed. He was close to both of you, closer to you than James and Peter were, anyway.

Remus was going to regret this when he came back to his senses after the Full Moon but Sirius had seen the hurt that was on your face, and wanted to make him regret it even more. A plan started to come together in that devious head of his, and he knew he had to talk to you first thing tomorrow.

-

“That’s ridiculous,” You said at breakfast, watching as the sleepy boy piled food onto his plate. The full moon was a rough night for everyone. You weren’t like the others, you didn’t change your form to try to be with Remus, but you spent the whole night worrying about him anyway. You tried not to, you tried to stay mad at him for attempting to break up with you over something as silly as scars but you loved him too much for that. You stared out the window of your dorm all night, waiting to see the weeping willow freeze and the boys come out of it. So you were much too tired to put up with Sirius’s strange ideas.

“No it’s not,” He said, stabbing a breakfast sausage and shoved it in his mouth. He spoke with his mouthful, making you grimace. How did so many of the girls in this school find this attractive? “It’ll work, I’m serious.”

“Yes, yes, we all know you’re serious,” You said, rolling your eyes at his weak attempt at a joke. “Look, best case scenerio is that he’ll come down for breakfast, he’ll apologize and everything will be okay. Worst case scenario is that he won’t. Why do you want to make an absolute worst ever scenerio by trying to make him jealous?”

“Jealous always works, haven’t you noticed? Plus this will totally help me score a date with that blonde Ravenclaw. Hogsmeade is coming up,” He sang, grabbing the maple syrup to drench his food. “We’ll be doing each other a favor!”

“Sirius...” You said, shaking your head.

“I do love the way that you say my name,” Sirius said, blowing kisses at me. The thought of kissing him, and knowing where those lips had been, made me grimace. But that soon abated when scruffy haired Remus walked past him, bumping into him, and continued down to the end of the table to eat with some third years. Sirius had gotten a head start on the plan before you even realized that Remus was in the room.

You watched him as he sat down and only took a piece of toast for his breakfast. You frowned, getting to your feet so you could tell him to eat more, but Sirius lightly put his hand over yours. “Just let him be for a little while, it was rough last night.”

“You’re one to talk about letting things be,” You said, but lowered yourself back down to continue your breakfast. That didn’t stop you from shooting looks back to Remus though. He looked so lonely down there. Peter eventually joined him, while James bothered Lily near you. He seemed to be trying his best not to look back at you. If he was going to be stubborn, there was nothing really that you could do, except for wait it out.

And that’s what you would do. You’d wait for Remus until the end of the world if you had to.

--

You finally gave into Sirius’s plan, but only because it meant that you wouldn’t have to walk alone to class or study by yourself in the common room. He kept you company, and was a laugh most of the time. He’d tell you about some of the pranks that you had missed out on the group doing, paying careful attention to Remus’s part in them. It had already been two weeks since the full moon, and he still had not spoken to you. You got to the point of trying to send him a letter through your own but Sirius stopped you from doing that.

“Don’t appear too clingy, it’ll blow the plan,” He said, grabbing the parchment from you when he caught the name written on the top.

“I just want to make sure that he’s okay...” You admitted.

“He’s fine,” Sirius said, rolling the parchment up between his fingers. “My brilliant plan is definitely working, though. You should have seen the way that he glared at me after I hugged you goodnight last night.”

“Yeah, why did you do that? It’s not as if the Ravenclaw girl was around to see it.”

“I like to throw myself into the role. Call me a method actor,” He ran his fingers through his hair, flipping it back behind his shoulders. “Plus I like the practice. This girl might actually make me settle down, if I can just get her to notice me.”

“That’s big for you, congratulations.” You said, more than a little surprised. Sirius Black, being serious? Almost unheard of. “But you know, just asking her out might be better than all of this-”

“I already asked you out, I don’t need anyone else,” Sirius said, his whole demeanor changing. He took hold of your hands, running his thumb over the back of them. He didn’t have to tell you that Remus was in the room for you to know that Remus was in the room. “Besides, who could focus on anyone else when there’s you?”

“That’s enough,” Remus’s voice came out in a sharp tone from behind you. You turned your head around, and saw that you were finally able to catch his eye. But instead of the warm, honey look behind them that you were used to, he looked angry. Downright pissed off, actually. “Sirius, what the hell? You could have any girl you wanted, why y/n?”

“I’m sitting right here,” You said, starting to stand up, but once again, Sirius had a good grip on your hands, pulling you back down.

“Calm down, pumpkin,” Sirius said, eyeing his friend. “It’s not my fault you gave her up, mate. She became fair game the minute you broke up with her for whatever stupid reason-”

“You’re a bastard,” Remus said, shaking his head, glare evident. “You’re a bloody bastard, Black, and I regret that I ever thought you were my friend.”

“Remus...” You said, breaking out of Sirius’s grip as the dark haired boy sat dumbstruck. “It’s really not what you think-”

“Save it,” Remus said, the anger in his voice turning to hurt as he addressed you. “Looks enough like you moved on.”

“I didn’t - let me explain, let me talk to you...” You pleaded. This was getting the attention of the others around the common room, and both you and Remus paused as you noticed the stares. “Please.” You said, one more time.

“Fine,” Remus said, taking your hand and pulled you up towards the boy’s dormitory. James was laying out on his bed, passed out, a book about Quidditch resting on his chest. Remus pulled the curtains over him so that he couldn’t see, then sat on the edge of his bed, watching me. “Why did it have to be Sirius?”

“Wow, he must be a better actor than I thought he was, if he had you fooled,” You said, crossing your arms. “Sirius, seriously?”

That usually got the guys to chuckle, but there was nothing this time. Remus’s eyes still looked at you coldly. You sighed. “He’s trying to play you and some Ravenclaw girl into being jealous. I was against the idea, by the way. But then Peter took your side, James was obsessed with Lily and I had no one else to hang out with so ... I sort of went with it. But I didn’t like it. It got all weird when he was start playing with my hair or trying to hold my hand. It never felt right. Not like it did when you did it. Now can we just put an end to this ridiculous mess, and be together again?”

Remus stood up, and paced in front of you. His usually sweet face was contorted into something angry. As confused as you were, and as much as you were wanting to be over, it was pretty hot. He came in close, his warm breath on your face, and took your chin between his calloused fingers.

“All of that - was a ploy - to make me jealous? Is that really what you’re going with?”

“It’s the truth,” You said, unable to look away from his eyes. “There’s absolutely nothing between Sirius and I. I swear.”

He gave a little grunt, and you couldn’t tell whether that meant he believed you or not. After a long moment’s silence, still gazing into one another’s eyes, he finally spoke. “Good, because seeing you with him...” This time a growl came from between his lips.

“Does that mean his plan worked?” You questioned.

“That smart bastard,” Remus muttered. “He knows that you’re my weakness. Seeing you with anyone else makes me a little crazy.”

Rather than feel angry, you felt a bit happy. Relieved. He still cared about you. He still had your chin between his fingers, and he pulled your face in towards his to meet him in a kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself in even closer. Chest to chest. He surprised you even further by letting go of your face, just to go for your  legs, pulling them up so that they were wrapped around his waist.

Sweet Remus Lupin. You knew that he had something of a dark side, becoming a wolf whenever the moon was full, but he was in between cycles right now. This was all him and yet - there was something animalistic about it. Sexy about it, even.

He took a few steps backwards, turning you so that you would fall onto his bed while he was on top of you. With barely a wave, the curtains closed around the two of you, granting you privacy from the sleeping Potter in the next bed. “I thought I was going to go out of my mind,” He admitted, his lips detaching from yours for just a moment. “You’re mine, y/n, and seeing Sirius’s hands on you. Thinking about what you might have been up to...”

“Absolutely nothing, my love,” you said, keeping your legs wrapped around him so that he couldn’t get away from you again. “I’ve always been yours.”

He pressed possessive kisses all up and down your neck, down to your collar bone and then back up. Right at your jawline, he sucked, kissed and nibbled harshly, leaving marks. You didn’t mind at all, but rather you moaned beneath each and every touch of him. Two weeks had been much too long without him. And he clearly felt the same way about you. Hands were running over your ribs, over your chest. He was repeating your name, his arousal felt between your own legs.

The amazing moment of your reunion was interrupted by something bumping against the curtain, and falling down upon the floor.

“Great, you’re back together,” James’s sleepy voice came through. “But do you mind keepin’ it down? Trying to sleep over here, bloody hell.”

“Sorry James,” You giggled.

“I’m not,” Remus grinned.

“Gonna go sleep in the common room then,” James mumbled, and he disappeared out of the room and down the stairs.

The reunion commenced, and you didn’t mind this new jealous side of Remus that sometimes came out. Though afterwards, as he curled up in your arms, you were the one who comforted him that there was no one else out there in the world for you. That he was your one. And that no matter how many scars he had, or where they were, he had the most perfect skin in the world, because it was his.

[new-tella-us]

Komahina Oneshot

Komahina ft. Trans Hajime. Another Tumblr inspired post. The tumblr account is catboymoments. Gotta give credit where credit is due.

If you didn't know that this is very gay and trans then idk how you got here but I'm happy to have ya.

But seriously, this has some pretty big trigger warnings

- Gender Dysphoria

- Complicated pregnancy

- Mentions of abortion

-PTSD

Anyways Onto the Oneshot!

Wow! I'm Pregnant! We're gunna have a happy family! Except...I'm a guy.

I feel horrible... This has been going on for about three days now. Mornings are the worst. I can't tell why. It's starting to worry Nagito and it's not like I can fake it, I tried. You can't fake puking. I can at least fake being somewhat lively.

...I need to get up. Need to get moving. Need to- Nevermind! I need to puke! Fuck... This feels disgusting. Maybe I should try and diagnose myself, or have Mikan help me. I felt a pat on my back; I knew it was Nagito but, I couldn't look at him while puking my guts out. When I finally finished desecrating the poor toilet I got up. I was sweating, pale and covered in whatever I managed to puke up on an empty stomach. I flushed the toilet and washed my face.

Nagito gave me a worried look. What was once an 'are you okay?' question turned into, "How are you feeling now?"

"I'm better," I responded. There wasn't much else to say, "I'll get this checked out soon, I'll just give it another day or two."

Nagito face turned stern, "Hajime, you need to get this thing checked out today! This has gone on for too long." He went out of the bathroom and grabbed his phone, "I'm calling Tsumiki-chan."

"Nonono! It's okay Nagito! I'll do it tomorrow! I can handle this myself!" I responded, a bit panicked. I never liked getting help from others, it didn't feel right to bother someone over something I can do myself.

"You said that yesterday. I'm calling Tsumiki-chan." He said in a more stern voice. I couldn't respond, there was no point in arguing with him when he's like this, plus; he's right. He made the call. I didn't hear Mikan's side of the call but, from what I can hear on Nagito's side, they made a time, 1 pm. He hung up and looked back at me, his glaze softened.

"Let's get you something to eat, okay?"

"Yeah," He smiles softly and gave me a small kiss on the forehead before leading me out of the house. But, while we were walking towards the cafeteria, a little voice told me something.

You know exactly what's happening.

I shook the thought away.

...

Breakfast was, mostly, fine. Only going to the bathroom once! Now, I have some time before I have to talk to Mikan. Nagito insists that I rest but I've gotten bored of doing that. I decided to just walk around the island. It was a really hot day and I was getting tired so, I couldn't walk for long. Huh, that never happens, I usually have more stamina than that... Maybe Nagito was right. Well, Nagito is usually right. Maybe I should just listen to Nagito more.

I started walking back, only taking a break to puke near a tree. Now, I'm really sweating, shaking too. I felt light-headed. Then, an unexpected helper appeared. She put my arm on her shoulder, behind her neck, her other hand supported me from my side. I didn't look up, I didn't need to. Her light orange kimono with scattered pink cherry blossoms gave away who she was.

"Hey Saionji..."

"Didn't listen to Komaeda again?" She knew it...

"Nope." I responded with as much satire I could muster.

"You're an idiot."

"Yup" Indeed I was but I could think about that a little bit more when my head wasn't spinning like crazy. Hiyoko helped me back to my cottage before leaving me to enter it myself. I opened the door and both Nagito and Mikan were sitting on the couch. I guess she came early.

"Hey guys, it seems like you were both waiting for me. Sorry about that."

"I-It's fine Hinata-san. So tell me a-about your condition. I've only seen g-glimpses of it" Mikan said.

So I explained. The morning sickness, the lack of energy and stamina. The fact that I can't even walk around the island without becoming pale and out of breath. Mikan thought about it and started checking her tablet. I assumed that she was looking up what this could mean before her eyes widen on something.

"I-I....I never knew this. Umm...I'll b-be right back." She seemed nervous as se got up and practically ran out of the house.

You know where she's going, you know what she's getting

There's that voice is again. I have no time for hallucinations or weird creepy messages.

...

Mikan returned after a few minutes with a little rectangular box in her hand.

"Welcome back, Tsumiki-chan. Now, are you going to explain why you suddenly freaked out like that and left?" Nagito said.

Mikan's gaze fell on me. Her look was almost unreadable. It's very unlike her.

"Hinata-san. Are you trans?" She asked bluntly.

"Wh-What?! What made you ask that??" I panicked. How did she know? How did she guess??

She turned her tablet to me; my profile was on it as was everyone else's. She pressed one of those special info buttons and a symbol appeared next to my profile picture.

The Female Sex Symbol...

Silence...

...Shit...

"I'm surprised that you didn't realize that this button exists. After all the creator of these tablets had a member who's entire case was solved because their sex was revealed." Mikan said. She always did have more confidence when she spoke facts. I didn't have anything to say, neither did Nagito. Mikan handed me the box; it was a pregnancy test.

"I w-won't ask. That's your b-business..." Her timidity returned. No, she won't ask because she'll get her answer depending on what I say or do. I could hand her back the test. I could lie and say I'm a virgin but, that wouldn't help me...

I got up and went to the bathroom...

...

......

...Are...Are you serious...? The test came back positive?! I...don't know how to feel about this... At least I know what's happening to me and probably why it's hitting me so hard.

...I feel too sick for this.

You knew this was coming.

'Izuru...not now. Please.'

You know you can't fully get rid of her.

'Who are you talking about?'

As if to answer my question, he materialized but not as himself. He materialized as a young girl. A girl that looks a lot like me.

'Fuck off, Izuru. You know that's not me...'

Is it not? It's who you once were.

'That was never me! She was someone else. Just a person of the past.'

And that way of thinking is what got you here. It's time for you to face the facts. You may be a boy but, you're not male. You forgetting that is why that test is positive. You took a chance, you were risky and here you are.

'We're done here.'

I was steaming. I couldn't listen to another word that fell out of that man's mouth. I needed to calm down. I took some deep breaths and left the bathroom. Mikan left but, Nagito was still there. I wasn't concerned with him knowing that I was trans, he already knew; he would have to know since he's...

"So, what happened? What did she give you? Are you okay?" he asked but, I had a feeling that he knew. I didn't want the mood to be sour. Having kids is supposed to be a good thing so, I wanted to lighten the mood with a pun.

"Well, I guess I should be invisible."

"...What? What do you mean?" He looked puzzled.

I looked at the pregnancy test. "Well, I'm a trans-parent." (Yes, I took this pun from the same tumblr user)

He looked at me, still puzzled, for a few minutes before he realized.

"...oh. Oh OH! You don't mean-" He looked happy, so happy. He gave me a hug, "Oh my god! I've always wanted to be a dad!"

He has? Great... Personally, I never wanted kids. I used to but, secondary school... changed me and showed me that really, I don't. But I can't just make a split second decision, he seem so happy...

"Yeah, but can we discuss this a bit more? I have my issues that I need to address."

His smile faded a bit "Uh sure"

We both sat on the bed of our room. I didn't know what to say. I don't know if I want to do this but, it would feel wrong just to abort with no conversation.

"So umm... Nagito. I...I don't know if I'm- we're ready to have kids. I guess I'm kind of worried?"

Tell him the actual reason, Hajime.

"I don't know what effect this might have on me and I'm scared that I might not be a great dad..."

Hajime...

"Is that the reason?" Nagito asked.

"...Yeah"

If you don't tell him, I will.

"..." I wasn't going to say anything but, Izuru kept on his threat. I lost control of my body.

"He has gender dysphoria" Izuru said, "So this pregnancy is reminding him of his uncertainty. The place he used to live in was not the most accepting of transgendered people"

Nagito fell silent, he was stunned. Damn it Izuru... did you have to be so blunt? I got control of my body back, I couldn't even look at Nagito, I felt so ashamed, I was putting my anxieties above a life. It felt...wrong. Or is it a life? It's a clump of cells but, it can become a life. I've been around too many mixed influences. I wish I knew which decision was the good decision.

Then again..

Is there truly a 'good' decision? On one hand, I'm killing a potential life and that will haunt me but, if I'm not ready to be a parent, I'm bringing a child into a world neither it nor I'm ready for and with a current war having, it's not like adoption is an option and, like Izuru said, it forces me to accept-

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nagito asked. He didn't sound mad, he sounded sad and even a bit guilty, I didn't answer, "I'm sorry if me saying that pressured you." He gave me a hug. I felt so guilty. "I can't say that I fully understand but, no matter what you choose, I'll be in your corner."

"I'm gunna give it a week or two then I'll make my decision," I said nearly in tears, "thank you for being so supportive."

...

It's been two weeks, I thought about it everyday. I was already two week pregnant so with another two weeks, the time for abortion via safe mentions was soon ending. I hesitated and swayed back and forth on my answer. I truly didn't know for a while. But, about two days before my decision I found myself sticking to an answer. I'll stick with this pregnancy. It might help me get over my gender dysphoria, maybe not fully but, somewhat? Plus, it's quite an efficient way to tell everyone that I'm trans. And who know, maybe I'm a better parent than I think I am and with Nagito, I feel like I can take it. It's sort of strange; I'm aware of all the health risks, the mental tax, the problems and possible sadness but, I feel like I can take it. I feel calmer know that I at least, have one person- well two people with Tsumiki, in my corner.

"I'm keeping it" I said with a hug.

"Really? You sure?" Nagito asked.

"Yeah, we're gonna be a family." I smiled, it wasn't fake.

But of course, like everything else in my life, it didn't come without complication. I was already pregnancy four weeks and was just feeling more exhausted. Another week had passed and I kept feeling worse. I didn't know why. I felt exhausted and cold. I was exhausted but not tired, not sleepy. I was awake and shaky. Nagito called Mikan again when he started to notice how pale I was getting. She said it was Iron Deficiency Anemia along with Hypertension. Two things that were really common in pregnancy. She gave me medication for it and it did help but not fully.

At about 8 weeks, I told the group about me being trans and about the child. Mikan recommended to do that instead of immediately because that's when the risk of a miscarriage goes down to less than 10 percent. The group was so happy to have two children born at similar times. Yes, two! Sonia and Gundham were having a kid as well. What a coincidence! Sonia insisted that we started talking more about it.

12 weeks in and everything has been going as smoothly as it can. There's still work, there's still complications, sleeping is an issue, I have been diagnosed with Insomnia, this pregnancy has also made me more dependent on Nagito and has given me more time to think and I don't know if I like that... But, everyone's been really supportive, they haven't treated me any different and because I have a bit more time, I can hangout with them more. I've learnt a lot more about Sonia. I knew a bit about her, like that she's into witchcraft and serial killer documentaries but, she was also into slice of life novels so, this was a dream of hers. How cute.

Weeks 16 - 30 can be summed up here. They all passed the same; excited conversations, preparations, fun little talks, work, insomnia, exhaustion, etc. What was really note worthy was while Nagito went out on a mission to the main lands, Makoto brought back a fluffy white dog, a Great Pyrenees puppy. We agreed to keep and so when Nagito came home, I surprised him with the dog. At first, he was silent, then he started crying; I was scared the he didn't like the dog but, that changed when he went up and hugged the dog, he was so happy. Apparently, this was the exact breed of the dog Nagito used to have. Wow, how lucky. He sat with it for hours before being willing to pry away from it and go to sleep. We decided to call her Lucy.

Fast forward to week 37, about 3 weeks before we thought I was due. I was pulling an all-nighter on this one project to have it done by tomorrow. I knew I was pushing myself but I was almost done, I wanted to free up my schedule so I can have more time with my baby. Nagito, however, was starting to get concerned.

"Hajime, it's really late. You should rest."

"I'm almost done, okay? I just need to finish this last assignment and I'll be in bed. Just give me about an hour." I said, trying to easy his concern.

"Alright.." He didn't sound too convinced but he did leave.

I continued to work on my project and the time flew by until in the middle of my assignment, my stomach really hurt, more than usual. Do you really need to kick that hard, Future Child? I tried to continues working but the pain would just come back worse every time. Maybe I should just go to bed... I tried to get up and walk back to my bedroom but the pain sent me down the floor, everything hurts...everything hurts...I couldn't even scream, I was in so much pain...I felt something wet trickle down and I knew what it was at this point. I didn't know what to do, I was crying. Was I going to die? Was I just going to have to give birth here and now? What can I do??

Then, my savior came into the room. No not Nagito, Lucy! She took one good look and me and went sprinting out the door. I could hear her barking and soon she seem back with Nagito.

"Hajime!! Are you okay!?"

I wanted to say something to something to that question; 'yes', 'no', 'shut the fuck up and call Tsumiki' but, I couldn't let out a sound. Luckily, he took the hint and called Mikan.

"Tsumiki-chan. I'm sorry to wake you but, Hajime may be going through contractions? Please help?!"

They talked for a bit, I could barely focus. I just remember Nagito carrying me to the bathroom while talking to Mikan. I don't know if she was just fast or if I blanked out for a bit but, Mikan was there before I knew it. They both briefly conversed before they got me dressed in a cheap, long white shirt and set me down in the bath. Mikan started sticking needles in me, I don't know what for and she was still talking to Nagito. She finally looked at me and told me to count my contractions and how often they happen. After each one (Because it hurts too much to talk during contractions) I would tell her, when she decided that they were regular enough, she grasped my hand a little and told me to take a deep breathe. I did. Then she told me to push.

That's when it hit me, this was happening now! Oh my god, I was not ready for this but, I don't have much of a choice. So I pushed. Oh god it hurts! I felt like my bones were breaking. She then told me to breathe again and I did, we repeated this until the water started to turn red with blood.

Blood...blood...

Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...

Blood? Did someone die? I felt like I was somewhere else. I was watching the murders of the student council again, so much blood...like a perfect quality horror movie, I saw them all murder each other clear as day, every person, every stabbing, every slicing, every shooting, all the bloodshed, clear as the day I first saw it. I never forgot any of their faces...

Then, as if it couldn't get worse...all the murders, all the executions...all the blood, clear as day. I was just watching, unable to do anything. Nagito...Chiaki... They were gone. Was my happy life all a dream? Is this the reality I'm truly in or am I hallucinating and this is the fake reality? I can't tell, I can't tell... I want out of this nightmare! I hear voices in the distance, at first I couldn't understand what they are saying but, as the voices got louder, I could slowly understand. Were they calling me? I got my answer.

"HAJIME!" Nagito shouted, dragging me back to reality. I panicked at the different scenery. My heart was pounding, threatening to rip out of my chest. I looked around to see where I was, I was in the bathroom. I couldn't keep my vision still.

Nagito cupped my cheeks, obviously trying to calm me down. "Hajime look at me, okay?"

I tried to focus my vision on him, his eyes full of panic and worry.

"You're having a panic attack. Whatever you saw, it's just an illusion. You're okay, I'm okay, everyone is okay. Please try to calm down."

My throat was dry and hoarse but, I took a deep breath. I continued to do that until I became calmer.

He smiled down at me "Good...good."

Mikan then piped up, "Komaeda-san, I'm sorry but, we do need to c-continue with this..." Then she got an idea, "If blood is a trigger to Hinata-san then can maybe he should just look at you instead. I'll still need your attention Hinata-san but, just keep l-looking at him."

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Nagito agreed. I just nodded. So Mikan continued with her instruction and I kept my eyes on Nagito. It made the birthing a little easier to see his smile and soon enough I did my last push, I felt a weight leave me and while I was still sore, it didn't hurt nearly as much anymore. That's when the fatigue washed over me. I could feel myself passing out already.

"Hey hey...um, I know you're tired but, can you stay awake just a little longer please? Just until Tsumiki-chan says it's okay. Please?"

I didn't want to, the work should be over by now but, I could do it. Voices faded in and out, I was barely able to concentrate. Then, Nagito gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"You did it Hajime! It's okay now, you can rest." His voice was quiet and soothing.

"...Great.." I replied groggily before falling asleep almost immediately after.

I fell into a deep, very needed sleep. It was relaxing for once. No dreams, no nightmares just, floating in the darkness. But, I had to wake up.

The sun was shining through the curtains, not too much sun but, just enough to give the room a bright warm haze. I still felt sore but, it was much better than last night. I sat up and yawned.

"Oh good morning, Sleepyhead." Nagito said, playfully. He was sitting right next to me, looking at me with a warm smile. "I was wondering when you were going to wake up."

I felt a bit out of it, it seemed so peaceful right now, I just wanted to bask in it for a while. I took the time to notice things around me, like the fact that I was wearing something different; it was one of Nagito shirts and my boxers. I also noticed a little crib in the far corner of our bedroom with what looks to be a baby inside.

"Do you want to see your child?" Nagito asked.

I could only nod. He got up and went to the crib, picked up the small child and came back to the bed. Handing me the child he said,

"Meet your new baby son"

I held the child gently in my arms and at that moment, everything became worth it. He woke up and looked at me. I was expecting him to cry but, instead he just giggles grabbed my finger. Now I'm the one whose crying!

Nagito chuckled, "Don't cry on the baby!" He said playfully but, he was crying too.

He gave me a kiss, "I love you, Hajime"

I returned it, "I love you too, Nagito"

We both held our son and I knew, deep in my heart, this was the right decision.

We're a family now!

If I got something wrong, please tell me. I really tried and I wanna get it right.

[tae-cup]

Give Me Love | KNJ Oneshot

Inspired by: Ed Sheeran’s “Give Me Love”

Pairing: non idol!Kim Namjoon x Cupid!Reader

Summary: You spent your life, destined to be alone, putting two pieces together. Suddenly, you meet someone that just refuses to be struck by your arrow.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 3.3k Words

A/N: I’m sorry, I wrote this at like 1 am so it’s a little rushed. My brain just threw up onto the page and I couldn’t stop myself. Ahhhhhhh school is back and I’m dying. Pardon me for slow updates! 

Other: Masterlist

Give me love like never before 'Cause lately I've been craving more And it's been a while but I still feel the same Maybe I should let you go

      The string bends with ease despite the thousands of years you have used it. No one saw the golden light shimmering around you. In fact, most people passed you by without a second thought. No one paid a second of their time to watch the odd girl pulling back her arms like she were drawing an arrow back. You just felt it would be better if people thought you crazy instead of seeing your bow and think they were about to die. Die of love, maybe. You shot the arrow into the unsuspecting woman and then wrapped the red string from the previous arrow around the end of a new one. Once both were securely tied together, you pulled the string back and hit the front of a man walking in the other direction. 

         They met, fell in love, blah blah blah, the rest is history. You shouldered your arrows and continued on the way to work. You had to check in for a new assignment today. The goddess had proclaimed it was of the utmost importance. 

       You weren’t exactly the warmest person, but you weren’t cold. After all, your job was to make people fall in love with each other. You obviously had to love love. There were many cupids who could be content with this, you were one of them. Watching others fall in love should be a replacement for your own hole. That’s what the mentors had always said. 

       Well, you excelled at that. Despite the loneliness, at least you were immortal and at least you could live a somewhat normal life. The goddess of love herself gifted all her cupids expensive apartments and, despite being immortal, gave them unlimited spending money. What for? Who knew. However, she always looked kindly upon those who were frugal and modest. You somehow managed to convince her that you were one of those cupids. So, you could get away with quite a bit of rule breaking. 

        Such as procrastinating on assignments and sweeping them under the rug if you felt like it. As long as you got it done before the deadline, you were in the clear. You owned exactly half of Seoul. The other half was run by Jimin, an excitable cupid with high hopes. 

       Together, you two oversaw all love affairs in Seoul, Korea. Jimin dealt with the more northern side while you handled the more southern side. Which was why it was a shock to have the packet of a Mr. Kim Namjoon thrown in front of you. Not only was this a task better fitted for an experienced cupid, not that you didn’t have 45,000 years of experience, but it also took place on Jimin’s turf. 

        “Who is this and why?” You demanded.

        “Read the file and you’ll learn about him. Now, I won’t tell you why, that would spoil the fun.” The goddess’ eyes twinkled. “However, I want you to remember your contract, Y/N.” 

        “You’re just teasing me now. I can’t fall in love. You don’t need to remind me.” You frowned, glancing at the paper. The man was handsome, you’d give him that. Whoever is his soulmate is a lucky person. 

        It was tricky, the whole cupid business. Mainly because soulmates are decided by the cupids. It’s an immediate draw. You just know. If a cupid messed up...well, that’s why there was divorce. Just two people who weren’t meant to be. Those cupids were always reprimanded and depending on the severity, maybe even fired. You had a squeaky clean track record and had learned to close yourself off rather quickly. 

         All new cupids go through a period of depression, hopelessness, longing. It was simply because they were born into a contract that prohibited the thing all beings so innately desire; love. A cupid cannot love and give love at the same time. It distracted from the job and made you blind. 

         Kim Namjoon is an odd fella. You thought to yourself as you observed him. You needed to know everything you could about him in order to correctly match him. Yes, you may get the sense, but cupids that solely used their sense had often been fired. 

         Eternity can be boring too, but you wanted to see what the world looked like in a thousand years, or even a hundred. That’s what kept you going. You had been watching Namjoon from a distance for the past month. He traveled around Seoul a lot, often for work, and you had yet to feel his soulmate’s presence. When you did get close, there was a pleasant tingle in your stomach that spread to the rest of your limbs. It disgusted you. 

         You had experienced love enough to know that feeling, but it was impossible. So you pushed it down, full well knowing it would never go away. Perhaps if you just matched him with another woman who had similar compatibility, you could get away with that. And even if they divorced, surely it would be okay to have just one strike on your record? 

        In all honesty, you were terrified of love. But as you observed him day after day, each one marching towards the deadline, you couldn’t help starting to like him. You noticed the little things. 

       Like how he always ordered his coffee; black with two creams and no sugar. The way he smiled with the smallest of dimples, the way his knee moved up and down when he was nervous. How he always leaned in and gave you his undivided attention. It was the little things that made this so hard. Could you even find someone who would notice them as you had? 

        It was much to your happiness, or dismay, when he ran into a nice looking girl at the coffee shop. You watched their interaction. The girl was obviously interested, pretty looking too, while she brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Perfect. You looked at your watch. You had two weeks and this had already taken too long. You needed two weeks to show that a match worked before it was approved by superiors. Y/N, you’ve got to do this now. 

        Your hands shook but you drew the arrow back. Despite the nerves, you never missed. You tied the end of a red string to your arrow and then the other end to another. With a deep breath you aimed eyes squinting against the sunlight’s glare as it hit the big windows of the coffee shop. Just as you were about to let fly, he turned and looked at you, surprise written across his face. 

         Impossible. But that wasn’t the first time you had used that word in correlation to Namjoon. You let fly, your hands not fidgeting, as you tried to shake off his gaze. It missed. It crashed into the wall before disintegrating entirely. 

       Your mouth went dry as you watched him turn to look at the wall and back to you. He didn’t seem scared and when his eyes met yours, you felt...calm. Namjoon mouthed something to the girl and exited the coffee shop. As quickly as you could, you shouldered your bag and ran. Your heart thumped wildly against your chest as you raced away. I’ll get him another day. It must have been a trick of the light. And yet you weren’t quite sure if the quickened pace of your heart was because of the running or you chance encounter with the man that could ruin your life. 

                You tried your best to remain a silent observer, but that was proving harder as the deadline drew closer. Every morning you would wake up with a splitting headache and the strong urge to find something missing. But there’s nothing that’s missing! You thought as you gathered your bow and arrows. At first, you just thought he was clumsy or that you were nervous. But it became apparent as the days stretched on that you just couldn’t hit him. It was frustrating, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to admit the truth or to match him with someone he so obviously wouldn’t be right for. 

          Namjoon was watching out his car window. His fingers drummed against the steering wheel in his parking space. He had felt the eyes of someone watching him for a long time. It made him paranoid. Then he saw..you. He didn’t know who you were or why you were watching him, but he needed to find out. 

          Somehow, he never felt uncomfortable under your gaze. You even relaxed him sometimes, a supporting presence from far away. Namjoon himself felt like a lost cause. Most of his nights were spent at a club, trying to fill the hole in his chest or drowning in his own bile while swallowing drink after drink. With your presence, he just didn’t feel the need to and if you were being forced to watch him, he didn’t think it was fair to drag you to that noisy place every night. 

            Yet, he just needed to meet you, talk to you. Every fiber of his being was calling out for you. It had been a dull ache, but now that he saw you, he couldn’t take his mind off it. The pain had a name, the pain had a face, the pain had a voice. And he wanted to know all of it. He wanted to devour the information, to get to know every inch of you. 

           It was so silly. Namjoon was an impulsive person, but he was never this stupid with his emotions. The ache didn’t go away, as much as he pushed it down. Sitting in his car, thinking, and watching the passing cars, made his mind up. He was going to figure out who the hell you were. 

                   So here you were, quite literally an angel in the darkness. Slipping through the dense cluster of bodies on the technicolor dance floor and ignore the bass that pounded into your bones. You followed him, a man far too clumsy to be in such a place. He pushed into the crowd, and therefore you did as well. Your arrow was in hand. I surely cannot miss at such a close distance. You could feel yourself getting lost in the music.

        You tried your best to pay attention solely to the man disappearing in front of you and the breathing in your own chest. Clubs always made you dizzy, like you were about to lose your goddamn mind. Your fingers splayed, reaching out to grasp his arm. Your hand found purchase on his shirt and you tugged, pulling him back towards you. 

        “It’s about time.” He smirked. You let your hand fall. You’re not supposed to directly interact with assignments, remember? Well, you had just fucked that up big time. You had been played. 

        “So who are you? Some angel? A soulmate? What’s with the arrow?” He shouted over the music. Ah, Namjoon, ever the curious one. If you spoke now, would you be able to take it back? But your mouth was moving faster than your brain. 

        “Well, technically, I’m a cupid.” You explained lamely. “I’m supposed to find your soulmate, but you refuse to be struck and-wait you can see this?” You held up the slim arrow in your hand. 

         “Uh, yeah.” He shrugged. “You’re holding a goddamn arrow.” 

         “Most people can’t.” You murmured inaudibly. The pulsing music made your head feel fuzzy, out of control, and though you wanted to pull away from him, he held onto your waist. 

          “So you’re a cupid? Tell me more.” Namjoon grinned, unbothered by the new information. He had a feeling you were something supernatural with the arrows, the presence, and watchful eyes. 

           “I make people fall in love.” You tried to be vague, but he made you want to open up about yourself. He made you want to pour out all your heartache, the pain of watching others but never having that joy for yourself. It was a curse you were blessed with, a certain pain that had been pushed down. 

           “So why haven’t I?” 

           “You’re...difficult.” You faltered in your words. “The arrow misses you every time.” 

           “Is that possible?” 

           “My aim has never been off. It must be the fates.” 

           “Am I destined to be loveless?”

          “Join the club.” You smiled softly, your gaze long broken. 

          “Well, you’ll always have love in your life as a cupid, right?” His hand gripped your waist tightly. He leaned in, his lips dangerously close. You shouldn’t kiss him, you shouldn’t even be interacting, but here you were, unable to pull away. 

           “I’m not allowed to.” You turned away. There was only one way you could do this, and you weren’t sure if you wanted it to be that way. The goddess of love always allowed one night stands for her cupids, but nothing more. She was merciful. That’s what they always said. 

            “Then how about tonight, no strings attached?” But the look in his eyes said otherwise. You frowned. Did you want him for only one night, never to touch again? Yes. 

             “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” You murmured, pulling away abruptly and rushing to the exit. The room was heating up, the music was too loud, the place was too crowded. You felt nauseous. 

             “Wait!” He shouted, chasing you out into the street. “What’s your name?” 

             You turned your head, pausing as you thought it over. It wouldn’t be too bad, right? After all, you knew everything about him and he knew nothing about you. Your hair whipped around in the breeze of the night. 

            “Y/N.” The cars passed by and you were gone. 

            You had never failed a mission so poorly. Your superior didn’t look very happy as she watched you shift uncomfortably. 

             “You could’ve had a one night, you know? But no, you made him a liability. You told him the name of a cupid. Your name, yes, but a name nonetheless. You need to find his soulmate, not meddle in his business.” 

              “I just...” You twiddled your thumbs awkwardly. “I just get this feeling that his business is my business.” You placed a hand over your heart. “There’s a pain, right here.” 

              “Ridiculous, Cupids don’t have soulmates. That’s how the goddess makes sure we are doing our jobs.” She scoffed and stood, pulling out his file. “Unless you want to leave behind your job as a cupid, you won’t be going anywhere any time soon.” 

               As she left the room, stating the rules plainly, you couldn’t help but wonder ‘Is the unknown future more important than my present?’ Death scared you shitless. You actually admired humans for this. They had death thrown at them at every angle and yet they lived on, oblivious. How foolish, humans were. Or maybe you were foolish for having one as your soulmate. 

                 The future was bleak, but at least you could hope for a future. Your hands felt over your waist, caressed the spots he touched. His lips that were so tantalizingly close that night. You pressed two fingers over your mouth, wondering what it would feel like if he had just leaned in a little closer. But proximity was the biggest worry. You just needed to avoid him and it would all be fine. 

               Avoiding him proved harder than you thought. He was somehow always where you were. Most of the time it was easy to lose him in a crowd or walk right past him in the street, but there were certain times where that got a lot harder. 

             “Y/N? Y/N?” The barista called your name and set your drink down. Two people looked up. You. And Namjoon. With a sigh, you stood from your seat and grabbed your drink. When you turned around, he was standing right there. 

              “Did I do something wrong, cupid?” His smirk was not helping your racing heart. 

              “I can’t talk to you right now.” You said quickly, pretending like you had somewhere to be. 

              “Fine. But can I at least take you out for dinner sometime? I get it, you’re one of those girls who doesn’t do one night stands. It’s okay.” He rambled. “I’ve been getting better at that as well.” 

              “I’ve got to go.” You physically couldn’t bring yourself to say no. It was terrifying and...exhilarating. You wanted to go on that date, you wanted to get to know him better. The longing made your chest hurt. But alas, things just don’t work out sometimes. You pulled away once more, trying to ignore the ghost touches on your hands, your hips, your waist. His breath against your face, like a warm caress. You needed to distance yourself and once he was dead, it would all be over.

200 Years Later

       Things were good. The hole in your heart was back, but at least you were seeing the future, you lived another day. 

       Do You believe in reincarnation? The words rung in your head. The goddess had asked you just yesterday, but now you knew what she meant. Your heart was aching, chest pounding. It was hard to breathe. 

        You turned from your spot in the coffee shop, breath halting. Those dimples, that smile, those eyes. The hands that touched you, once again far away. He turned, he saw you, he smiled. 

         You waved and he waved back with a confused look. It was him. 

        “Namjoon?” You walked towards him, the slightest of trembles in your voice. You couldn’t do this again. Last time, you avoided him successfully, but this time, you knew you wouldn’t be so lucky. The soulmate bond was back and it was bigger than ever. It felt like your heart might carve out of your chest if you didn’t do something. 

       “Do I know you?” His expression was of pain, a confusion you wished upon no one. Would he remember you? Of course not, but you could start again. If it wasn’t meant to be in that time, maybe now? But you were a cupid and he was a human. 

        “Yes, you do.” You said firmly. And you weren’t going to let him go so easily this time. You hesitantly reached out and laced your fingers together. “But I’d like to get to know you better.” 

        He wasn’t sure why he followed you, but he knew it was right. It was like all he ever wanted was laid out in front of him and he was left trailing like a lost puppy. 

           But last time isn’t this time. You smiled across from him at dinner. The restaurant was cozy, but the atmosphere was not. 

         “Wait so you’re a cupid and you’re breaking your contract...just to be with me?” He tilted his head. “Now that makes no sense. Soulmate or not, this just doesn’t seem like the right move for you.” 

         “I told you, I already met you, 200 years ago. You were a little different, but mostly the same.” You tried to explain. You just wanted to get through with this date and kiss him, but you had to remind yourself that you had 200 years to think and pine over him while he had about six hours. 

         “Okay...” He mulled it over, the pasta growing cold. “I think I know you, I can feel it.” He murmured. “But I’m going to have to think this over.”

         “Of course, take all the time you need.” Just not too long. You watched him carefully. “Hey Namjoon?”

         “Yeah?” 

        “Wanna get out of here?” 

          One Year Later

          Mortality was...endless. Death was a finality that forced you to live until you could no longer. Mortality brought you closer to him. 

          “Namjoon, wait up!” You shouted, racing across the street as he got out of his car. 

         “Y/N!” He lit up, waving at you as he grabbed his things. It was warm like a summer’s day, despite the season being winter. When you reached him, he swung you around, an arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you in. 

         Your lips touched, an explosion of galaxies. Moving against each other like waves lapping upon the beach. he’s here. And he’s with you. That’s all you could think of as you pulled away. Your cheeks were flushed as he smiled at you. 

        “Hi.” You said breathlessly. 

       “Hi.” He responded, in a similar state. 

       Your heart let out a kick, the butterflies gathered. Impossible. You had once thought it impossible for someone like you to feel it...love. Yet, impossible was a word you often associated with Namjoon. And you wanted more. 

      You tied a red string to the end of an arrow. The last two arrows your goddess gifted you. She claimed you had to use it for something ‘worth it��� As she said. You took out the arrow and pointed it at him. 

      “You ready?” 

      “Ready as ever.” He grinned, staring at the sharp tip. You nodded and shot him a gentle smile as you stepped forward, closing your lips around his once more as you plunged the arrow into him. He didn’t make a sound, it felt like a soft touch, not an arrow plunging into his skin. You tied the string to the end of the other arrow and pulled away. You placed the tip to your chest and his heart leapt at the image. The red string hummed with energy. 

        You took a deep breath and pressed the tip into your chest. The arrows disappeared and a red string glowed vibrantly in between you two before slowly fading. You wanted his love, wanted more of him. And you didn’t have to hide it anymore. 

         He stepped forward cautiously and then swept you up in his arms. 

      “It feels like I’ve been waiting years for that.” He said huskily. 

      “You don’t even know how long I’ve waited.” 

Give a little time to me or burn this out We'll play hide and seek to turn this around All I want is the taste that your lips allow My, my, my, my, oh give me love My, my, my, my, oh give me love

[prettywordsyouleft]

You Didn’t Let Me! - Part 2 (Jinyoung)

Summary: It took you three guys to realise you had been running from love all along. When you finally meet up again at a university reunion, you weren’t prepared to answer the question of who you wanted most.

Pairing: Yoo Kihyun x Park Jinyoung x Lee Seunggi x reader

Genre: romance / angst / self-growth au

Warnings: three hot guys and y/n’s an idiot lol none

A/N: This was initially meant to be a oneshot for the Trick, No It’s My Treat dares. However, the storyline suited being broken up and so I have made it into a mini-series. I hope you enjoy!  

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

“You, joining a gym?!” Raisa scoffed and you pouted in her direction. She gestured to the empty chocolate wrapper on your desk. “You couldn’t choose the healthy life even if you wanted to.”

“So I have a sweet tooth,” you agreed bitterly, picking up the wrapper and placing it in the trash bin beside the desk. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to tone up. Look at my arms! All these years of studying have done me no good! I need to get active again. We graduate in the spring, and I plan on looking the best I can for it.”

“But you in a gym?” she continued, shaking her head. “I can’t imagine it at all. You hate sweating.”

“I hate looking at myself in the mirror and seeing myself grow bigger too. I’ve cut back on my food intake, now it’s time to match that with some good old exercise.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Raisa muttered and you grinned, reaching out for her lower arm and gave it a shake. She eyed you dubiously, your thoughts soon connecting. “Oh no, Y/N, I’m not joining you.”

“How will you ever get the proof if you don’t come along?!”

And despite her lengthy list of excuses, Raisa was there at your side on your first day at the university gym. You had been through orientation already and knew how to use the machinery well enough that you didn’t have a personal trainer at your side for the first few sessions. You liked getting in there and doing your routine they had drafted up for you, the satisfaction of your after-workout buzz overpowering your major dislike for the sticky sweat you washed away in the shower each time.

Soon, you were dedicated to working out most days, much more committed than Raisa was. You grew confident to go to the gym alone, no longer worried about your appearance among the others who used the facilities at the same time as you. No one was judging you and you were too focused on your own results to care.

That was until you met your new trainer.

“So, I hear you want to tone up your arms? I’m Jinyoung, I’ve been assigned to help you with that,” he announced as he stopped at your side near the weights. Glancing up, you forgot to swallow, pretty sure you were about to start drooling instead.

If arms were the topic of the day, then Jinyoung’s were by far the best set you had ever laid eyes upon. You could sense he was proud of them, folding them across his chest as he smiled down at you. There was a hint of smugness curling up the corners of his lips, satisfied by your instant awe over them.

And then he became awkward, clearing his throat and it startled you enough to let go of the dumbbell you held in your hand, emitting a yelp of pain a moment after you recognised it hit your foot.

Yeah, those arms? They were right around you after he assessed the damage to your foot, scooping you up off the ground where you had somewhat crumpled upon from the pain. Jinyoung then carried you to the medical room so he could examine you further.

It wasn’t the most ideal start.

And yet you were determined to continue. This surprised Jinyoung and you could see he was impressed by your resolve. “Are you fully healed?”

“Of course, I’m not that fragile,” you remarked, even if you weren’t ready for any more mishaps the gym could potentially result in if you didn’t pay enough attention. You decided you were prepared to commit though and nothing would deter you.

Jinyoung wasn’t ready to let the first incident go, however.

It seemed he had made it his sole mission in life to remind you about the accident every time he was training you. “Tighter grip, Y/N. Your foot only bruised last time; these weights are heavier and will break it if you don’t pay attention.”

“I am gripping them,” you huffed in annoyance, heaving them up and down with your set, relieved when Jinyoung finally called to put them down. You placed them back on the stand before wiping the sweat off your face with your towel.

Your trainer grinned, reaching out affectionately to fix the loose hairs around your face. “We don’t need you looking dishevelled after a session with me, now do we?” he murmured, cupping your cheek in his hand for the briefest moment, eyes alive with amusement.

You couldn’t help the deep pink flush of colour that rushed to the surface, nor did you pay attention as you stepped forward, catching the toe of your shoe on the base of the bench you had just collected your towel from. Jinyoung caught you before you fell, eyes wide with the current predicament.

You wanted the ground to swallow you up whole.

“I think you have a thing for my arms, Y/N. You keep ending up in them too often,” he attempted to tease; though his tone held no jest and his skin had grown warm. Righting yourself, you nodded rapidly then shook your head to refute his statement, barely saying your farewell as you dashed off to the ladies locker room. You then slumped against the wall, heaving in a deep breath.

Had Jinyoung just flirted with you? Was he affected as much as you were about his presence? You had to admit your clumsy nature only increased whenever he was around. He was gorgeous, with his dark eyes and raven hair that fell into them as he worked out. His body was toned but not excessively and whenever he chuckled your legs turned to jelly.

It wasn’t safe anymore to be in this environment. Having a crush on him wasn’t the end of the world, but in a setting with heavy equipment, you were bound to end up in hospital if this continued.

“Here, let me spot you,” Jinyoung offered the next time you were in the gym, moving in behind you. Glancing over your shoulder as you swung the dumbbell back and forth, bracing yourself against the bench, you arched an eyebrow at the man. He chuckled. “Last time you were here you almost ended up in the medic room. I’m not prepared to have you hurt again.”

“You’re not funny.”

“Your swing is though, it’s meant to be straight like this,” he stated, reaching to take the slack out of your arm. Instinctively, his other hand went to your waist, pressing on it gently. You knew logically he was asking for you to find your centre and balance through the core. It wasn’t anything more than a technical approach, to ensure you were doing the movement correctly.

And yet it felt entirely intimate, his torso pressed into your back whilst his hands guided your movement. You felt his breath on your neck and it wasn’t long until a fantasy cropped up in your mind, throwing you off entirely.

His breath was now tickling against your ear. “Y/N, are you focusing because I don’t think you are.”

“I am,” you breathed, shaking away the sinful images and returning to mindfully exercising. But it was too late, your movement now stunted by Jinyoung’s hand reaching out to remove the weight from your hand. In doing so you lost your balance, tumbling backwards into him and sending you both sprawling onto the floor. You heard the weight drop on the ground and gasped when you saw how close it was to hitting him in the head.

“So, I think we need to come up with a new safety plan whilst working with weights now, huh?” he breathed, wide-eyed from assessing the proximity of the dumbbell.

You were too mortified about almost killing your trainer that you skipped your next session. Raisa came home from her study session to find you in the apartment spooning mouthfuls of ice-cream in as you watched the television. She frowned, wrestling the tub out of your grip. “Shouldn’t you be with Jinyoung right now?”

“Even you think we should be together,” you grumbled, reaching out to snatch your treat back. “I’m not in the mood.”

“That much I can tell,” she commented, gesturing to your state. Sitting down beside you, Raisa leaned in closer. “Are you feeling something towards him? I mean I don’t blame you, he’s gorgeous. I think I’d have more success in going to the gym if he had been assigned as my trainer.”

You sighed, letting the spoon fall into the tub. “He’s just my trainer, right?”

“Well, what do you mean?”

You explained the moments you had with him thus far to your best friend, trying to remain as factual and not emotionally attached as you had been with Kihyun. You knew it would be easy to construe feelings since you had done it in the past with your friend in the second year of university. You didn’t want to think Jinyoung’s proficient care meant anything more than him doing his job, if that was all there was to it.

Yet the little smiles, the commentary, the way he held you last time, well, your mind was definitely confused.

“I think there might be something there,” Raisa said afterwards, expression still thoughtful. “I mean, he’s very accommodating to your needs.”

“He’s paid to look out for his clients. It’s not his fault I’m clumsy.” You reached for the spoon again, Raisa taking the ice-cream away a second time and spooned some into her mouth instead. You didn’t even have the energy to whine at her.

“You’re friends with Kihyun so I can see where that got a little messy. But Jinyoung doesn’t have to do anything apart from be professional, Y/N. I think this time, your feelings are valid. Even if I still think Kihyun held feelings for you but you were too dumb to see them.”

“Let’s not,” you lamented, shooting her a look. However, you began to consider her advice over Jinyoung, your hope soon growing.

With Raisa’s pep-talk, you returned to the gym the following week. Smiling at the clerk on the front desk, you pushed through the gym doors and began heading towards the locker room to put your things away when you noticed Jinyoung with another woman over by the weights. You paused, watching on with interest. She was giggling and curling her hands around his as he showed her the appropriate way to hold the equipment. You could see from here that she was far too delighted to have such a handsome trainer. Had you looked like this when you first started working out with Jinyoung? You weren’t as bold as she was being about her attraction, at least.

Yet Jinyoung was smiling, laughing even at something she said a moment later. Jealousy reared in your stomach and you managed to tear your gaze away, stomping into the locker room. Once you were ready to head back out – and much more composed – you went over to the weights area, standing off to the side and waited.

It was your session time, after all.

Jinyoung glanced up at you, eyes flashing with multiple emotions and he stepped back from the client, brushing his hands on his pants. “Oh Y/N, I need to talk with you.”

“I can wait for you to wrap up here. I’ll just go work on the cardio equipment until you’re ready.”

Jinyoung shook his head, looking apologetic. “I won’t be taking your sessions anymore.”

You merely blinked, not quite understanding the change. “Is it because of the accident last time?”

“No, of course not. It’s just that Jackson will be taking over for me. He’s exceptional, so you’ll find his training a great benefit to you.”

“Do I not get a choice in who I train with?” you blurted out, uncaring how the girl waiting on Jinyoung looked at you. “I choose to be trained by you.”

“I can’t anymore, it’s a little complicated to discuss here but if you come into my office after your training with Jackson, I’ll explain more about why then. Okay Lisa, where were we?”

You stood there dumbfounded for a moment before you jarringly stepped back, turning around to go over to the treadmills across the room. You refused to look up into the mirrored wall that would reflect Jinyoung’s area. Instead, you ran, pushing harder than you usually did.

You felt stupid. Once again, you had gotten the wrong impression, assuming there was more to Jinyoung than just the training. You had made him uncomfortable and so he had chosen to move on. There was nothing more to it.

Even though it was no fault of his own, you told Jackson you weren’t ready to start training with him. And when you were done with your session, you didn’t stop as you walked to the exit, ignoring Jinyoung’s request for you to stop by afterwards. You didn’t need to hear what he had to say, your heart was already broken.

You soon decided to change to a different gym, wanting a new environment to refocus on your original goals. You had joined the gym to tone up and not to fall for your trainer in the process after all.

“You gave up, just like that?” Raisa asked and you shot her a look. “What if there was a reason for Jinyoung pulling away from you? I’m sorry, Y/N, I can’t keep training you because I like you. Let’s see each other outside of the gym. You didn’t even let him explain. See, this is your problem Y/N! You keep running away before getting all the facts.”

You laughed, shaking your head at your best friend. “Rai, this isn’t a fairytale. Things don’t work like that for me anyway. I think it’s best to just move onto the next chapter in my life. With graduation around the corner, I just want to focus on getting a job that I enjoy.”

_________________

Part 3

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

[GOT7 Masterlist] | [Series Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]  

[aerinmelina]

New Beginnings

The unintended sequel to this oneshot here. (oops)

This one is a gift fic for @fairykam​. <3 :) You’re wonderful and amazing and a great friend, and I hope your weekend is fantastic!

DRAGONWATCH 1 & 2 SPOILERS LIE HERE.

**

Kendra couldn’t sleep.

She sat in a chair next to the bed where Bracken laid, resting peacefully as she held his hand. He had yet to wake for more than a minute or two at a time. Every time he did stir, though, it was with a sudden jerk and a panic as he tried to assess where he was and – Kendra assumed – to figure out if he was safe. She calmed him at every occurrence; his last upset had been several hours ago, so she was hoping he would be alright.

It must’ve been getting somewhere close to dawn by now. Kendra released Bracken’s hand and stretched her arms and legs, longing to exercise a bit to relieve the tension she felt.

The door opened and Warren peeked his head inside. “Hey,” he began. “Why don’t you go for a walk? I’ll stay here with him.”

Kendra glanced back at Bracken and bit her lip. What if he woke up again, and she wasn’t there to help him?

Warren would be there. He would help.

But what if he needed more healing? What if he needed her magical abilities?

“I don’t think so…” she hesitantly replied.

Warren rolled his eyes and walked completely inside the room. “Let me rephrase,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders. He guided her to stand, then led her to the door. “You’re taking a break, you worrywart.”

“But Warren—”

“Don’t ‘but Warren’ me,” he insisted. “Bracken is fine. He’s just resting. You need to get out of this room. Go breathe some fresh air. Maybe get something to eat.”

She put her hand on the door frame and twisted her body around so she could get another look at the sleeping unicorn. He did look like he was just resting, and his coloring was much more normal than it’d been when he’d first arrived.

Kendra sighed, then looked up at Warren who was clearly not going to let her back in. “Call for me if he wakes up?” she asked.

“Sure,” he replied, then rubbed the top of her head and messed up her hair. She gave him an exasperated sigh and swatted at his hand in response, but truth be told… she was glad to have him there with her. Warren would take good care of their injured friend.

With one last glance at Bracken, Kendra left the room and went to bathe and change her clothes. She emerged feeling somewhat refreshed, but still couldn’t shake the anxious feelings that she’d been harboring for days (weeks, really). In an effort to try and calm her mind enough to hopefully sleep for a few hours, she decided to go for a walk. The towers and walls of Blackwell Keep were poorly lit at night; however, that was hardly a problem for her.  Plus, daybreak wasn’t too far off – the sky was already lightening a little.

Two minutes into walking, she ran across someone else who was sitting on the ground, staring out at the slowly diminishing stars.

Her brother.

Seth.

Her heart gave an achy lurch.

He noticed her approach. Neither of them said anything to the other for a moment, and then Seth broke the silence and returned his gaze to the sky.

“You couldn’t sleep, either?” he asked.

“No,” Kendra said. She didn’t want to intrude on his solitude, but at the same time, she longed for his company. No matter how potentially painful the experience turned out to be… she needed to talk to him. “Is it alright if I sit with you?” she asked.

Seth looked like he hadn’t expected her request. “Sure,” he answered, gesturing to the ground next to him. She accepted his invitation and leaned her back against the wall behind them, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

“The sun will be rising soon,” Kendra commented, trying to start a conversation.

“Yeah,” came Seth’s short reply.

“The view from here is really nice. You picked a good spot.”

“Cool.”

A somewhat awkward silence fell between them. Kendra didn’t know what to say. The last time they’d seen each other (minus yesterday afternoon which didn’t really count because it was so chaotic and Kendra had been wholly consumed with worry for her sick unicorn) was when Seth had nearly taken Bracken’s first horn away from her. He’d actually chosen to leave it with her – an act which had clearly surprised them both.

Come on, Kendra… think of something…

“What was it like?” she asked. “Being around Ronodin so much?”

Seth turned his head toward her, as if trying to gauge her intentions, and then shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I don’t really have anything to compare it to.”

Kendra considered his statement and tried to ignore the way that comment hurt her heart a little more. He didn’t remember love. “Was he nice to you?” she asked.

Seth shrugged again. “I think so,” he answered. “He taught me a lot about being a Shadow Charmer. Made sure I wasn’t hungry. I had a comfortable place to sleep. And he didn’t hurt me.”

“But?” Kendra prompted. Her brother sounded conflicted.

“He told me I was his brother,” Seth continued. “When I found out that he was a unicorn, I asked him how we could be brothers since I’m human, and he said he’d rescued me a long time ago and we’d chosen to be brothers. I don’t know. Something about the way he said it just… seemed strange to me, I guess.”

“Strange?”

“He kept telling me things about myself that could be true, I guess, but I’m not sure. Maybe I really was like that before I forgot everything. I don’t feel that way now, though.”

“What do you mean?” Kendra was genuinely curious to know what kinds of lies Seth had been told.

Seth paused for a moment before continuing. “He didn’t help people. No… more than that. I did some things that hurt people. It didn’t… it didn’t sit well with me. It didn’t feel right. But he was my brother, and he knew what was best, right?”

He seemed to be genuinely asking Kendra that question. She thought carefully about her response before she delivered it. “Well… you already know where I stand,” she started. “Ronodin is a liar, and you’re actually my brother. By blood.” She shifted her position so that her legs rested straight out in front of her. “We’ve always lived together. I don’t even remember a time when you weren’t part of my life. We’re less than two years apart in age.”

Seth appeared to be listening intently, clinging onto every word she said. “What made you decide to leave Ronodin?” she asked.

He shook his head as though to derail his train of thought. “Uh… Bracken helped, actually. He was patient, and he encouraged me to think twice about everything. He corroborated your story. And he told me that I was a hero.”

“You are,” Kendra confirmed instantly. Seth shot her an expression which clearly told her that he wasn’t sure he believed her, then continued talking.

“I already had doubts about Ronodin, and talking with Bracken kind of added to those doubts. Ronodin does what he wants. It just doesn’t feel right.

“And then he wanted me to take the unicorn from you. I didn’t think I’d have a hard time with that. He told me that you’d stolen it from him in the first place; I was just going to take back what was rightfully his. But you… You were helpless. Defenseless. And you begged me not to take it away. You told me it was Bracken’s horn, not Ronodin’s. You were so earnest. You seemed so… genuine. I couldn’t take it from you. Not without getting some of my questions answered first.”

“How did Ronodin react?”

Liar. Thief.

Seth crossed his legs and forcefully rubbed his face, then ran his hands through his hair. “He was furious.”

“Did he… did he hurt you?”

I will kill him if he did.

“No,” Seth said. Then he added, “I don’t want to talk about it. Tell me about… about me. Us. Our family. Please.”

Kendra almost pushed him for more details, but the pleading look in his eyes forced her hand. She dropped the subject.

“Well… our family lived in Rochester until a couple of years ago. You were always getting into trouble, ever since I can remember. Mom always said that you were too curious for your own good. Dad always said that he didn’t know what he was going to do with you.”

“What kind of trouble?”

She smiled. “All sorts. Well… not like drugs and stuff. More like… pranks, and general disobedience. You’d get caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing, and then you’d try and argue your way out of punishment. Your arguments didn’t usually work, but you did get away with some things once or twice… which probably didn’t help. Mom told you that you should become a lawyer when you grow up.”

He’s listening. To everything.

“We used to fight a lot. Mostly about stupid stuff. But… things changed a few years ago. We stopped fighting each other and started fighting together against other people. We were a real team.” Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. She couldn’t help it. It’d been too long since she’d spoken with her brother, and while having him here with her was comforting, it also hurt her that he had no memory of her and everything they’d gone through together.

Seth looked at his toes. “I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said.

Kendra shook her head. “No, no… it’s okay,” she replied. “I’m just… it’s hard. You’re my best friend, Seth. My brother and my best friend. You drive me crazy and you’re impulsive and you always have to learn lessons the hard way, but you also care so much about other people. You’ve always had a heart. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much, it hurts.”

“I guess I don’t really know what to say,” Seth stated after a brief pause. “I want to believe you. I want to believe that I’m a good person. But, Kendra…” he trailed off. “I’ve done some things I’m not proud of.”

Ronodin will pay.

“It’s not your fault that you’ve been manipulated. He took advantage of your situation. I know who you really are. You’re kind and brave and reckless and so loud. You’re so curious that I’m pretty sure the cat died like 27 lives ago. And you love to tease and torment me… but you’re also reliable and confident. You’re loyal, honest, dependable and creative. You’re my brother. I swear to you, you’re my brother, and whatever you’ve done or think you’ve done, that’s not you. It’s not the real you. I swear it.”

“I want to help people.”

“Yes. That’s you. The real you. That’s the Seth Sorenson I grew up with.”

“Sorenson?”

Stab my heart.

“Our last name,” Kendra clarified.

“Seth Sorenson,” he repeated, feeling how the words rolled off his tongue.

“The one and only,” she stated. “There’s no one else like you in this world, and I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my brother anyway.”

Seth smiled at her – a small, hesitant one, but a smile no less. “Well… it might be nice to have a sister for a change,” he teased. Kendra reached out a hand and lightly shoved his shoulder.

The siblings sat in silence and watched as the sun finally rose above the horizon. They still had a long way to go, and more bridges to build between them, but Kendra had the feeling that they were off to a good start. She noticed that her heart felt less heavy than it had an hour or two ago.

Her brother was back. He may not remember her, but he was safe. She’d help him get his memories back, and they’d make new ones along the way. And if he never regained his memories? Well… he was her brother. She would never stop trying to help him.

[tokoyamisstuff]

so I was asking myself if you could do a oneshot about an insecure Loki? whatever you prefer thank you!

Oh sweetheart, when it comes to self-doubts you can always rely on your weird goth aunt.

This was made at 4am so expect a low quality production.

Summary: After a coincidental turn of events, you and Loki confessed to each other. But the relationship Loki thought the two of you have shouldn’t last long, since your behaviour tells him a complete different story…

(Takes place somewhat after Thor 2 with the typical setting - you and Loki being part of the Avengers for quite a while, living at the Stark Tower together with the rest of the crew.)

Warnings: Angst I guess but nothing major. Jealousy. A tiny bit NSFW.

Words: 3476

As you hastily pulled up your pants, a loud yawn interrupted the flood of thoughts that was rushing through your mind. Startled by the movements behind your back, you winced and almost fell.

When you turned around, you saw Loki who tried to surpress a gloatingly chuckle about how clumsy you can be at times. His eyes showed confusion, but he still put up with that proud, cheeky grin of his. “You’re leaving already?”

Well, here you are. It was only yesterday evening that - after way too much alcohol and a very awkward confession - both of you realized that the romantic feelings you were holding for each other were mutual ones.

You felt your face heating up, probably already brightly red while you thought about yesterday evening.

God, Loki had been at least as drunk as you, but insisted on cuddling and talking only, since he didn’t want to ‘take advantage of your intoxicated state’. Yet drunk as you were, you stripped down until your underwear, trying to seduce him until you simply passed out. How embarassing…

“I hope that doesn’t mean your words yesterday were just the alcohol speaking…” he pondered, making you finally turn around.

“No!” you blurted out without second thought, immediately jumping onto the bed and onto Loki. “No, everything I said was true!”

Loki smirked as he saw how flustered you were at that moment, so he pulled you towards him to engage in a breathtaking kiss, claiming what was his from this moment on. You could feel his cold hand absentmindedly slide over your still undressed back - and his touch felt so good.

“I love you, Loki” you whispered as he finally let go of your lips, both of you gasping for air. “You are simply amazing.”

“Then why do you want to leave just yet?” he asked as if he wanted to invite you to stay in bed this whole day.

You got into an upright position again, sitting on the edge of the bed and putting on your shoes. It was really hard to resist the temptation to just sneak under the covers again, where your new, incredible handsome boyfriend was waiting for you, yet…

“I promised Thor to go training with him” you shrugged. “I don’t like breaking promises, but I’ll be back afterwards!”

Loki frowned, but tried to hide his hurt pride. Why does it have to be his brother of all people? But he really didn’t want to be an asshole, so he’d just swallow it. You’re free to go wherever you want of course, but deep inside he was afraid that you might change your mind when he lets you leave without even having had a proper…bonding.

Before you could even react, Loki embraced you from behind and began kissing your neck, softly rising blood under the skin. You tried to choke your moans as you felt his hand slipping into your pants, softly rubbing just inches away from your weak spot.

Biting your lip in pleasure, you whimpered “Loki, please…” At this moment, you were completely at his mercy. Damn, how could he have such an effect on you with only so little effort?

“Oh, little dove, you seem to enjoy me touching you like this” he teased as he firmly grabbed your breast. You could feel how something hard pressed against your back as he pressed your body against yours, whispering “Too bad you have to go now…”

Like that, he simply let go of you and fell on his back, covering himself with the blanket. You frowned in frustration, doing your best to act like nothing happened and finished getting fully dressed. Loki’s eyes never let go from you, smirking mischievously.

“Well, if you want us to continue where we left off, you have to come back to me, my love.”

_______

“Ugh, now I can’t concentrate. Wonderful.”

Those were your first and only thoughts when you entered the kitchen to find some food. Natasha, Thor and Tony were already eating, and they awaited you to join them. The past weeks have been pretty hard for them, and you were always a good friend to help them with their personal problems.

“Greetings, Lady [___]!” Thor cheered as he saw you stomping into the room, not even doing so much as look at them. “Why the grumpy face?” Tony added.

“Huh? Oh, sorry. I was buried in thought” you mumbled as you hastily cooked some eggs, still not turning around to deal with your friends right now. You simply weren’t in the mood, still tired and to add to that now horny, too.

Tony loved to mock you, but he was awkwardly quiet today. You knew the reason, but you didn’t want to push him into opening up in front of everyone. “No sassy comment, Tony?” you scoffed as you gave him a challenging grin. Did he have a fight with Pepper again?

Before he could say something like he’s simply not in the mood, you saw Bruce entering the room. It was obviously Natasha would rather jump into the next hole than to spend any second with him in the same room. Well, they had a complicated story, after all, and you were sure they needed to talk this over properly. Not that it was your business or something.

After Natasha mumbled something about having some important tasks at hand and fleeing out of the room, Bruce greeted you and walked towards the kitchen unit to get some cereals, doing his best to act like that weird scene didn’t just happen right now.

“[___], is that a hickey?” he whispered as he stood next to you and eyed your neck, but managed to do it so loudly that anyone heared. At least the uncomfortable silence was finally gone.

“N-no, I…uh…Got punched during training” you blurted out, and as you expected, no one believed you. They just rose their eyebrows at that stupid excuse.

Tony crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, stating “We were searching for you yesterday after the party, but you haven’t been in your room. Where have you been?” Probably they just wanted you to listen to their problems.

“About that…” you heared a familiar voice coming from the hallways. Damn, not right now…that…just wasn’t the right time.

Loki strode into the room, his stance confidently as ever. “You know, last night, me and Lady [___]-”

You stood in front of him in an instant, covering his mouth with your hand. “Were going for a walk together! Y-yes, I-I wasn’t feeling so good, so Loki helped me!”

Those words made Loki frown. Were you embarassed to have been with him? “Yeah…right” he answered with a grim tone hiding in his voice, as he balled his fists in frustration. “That’s how it was.”

“Oh, how noble of you” Tony mocked him. “For someone who always acts so high and mighty.”

“I don’t care what you mortals think of me” was his plain response. Tony was right, though, Loki was still very cocky around anyone else. Unapproachable, you might even say. But when it came to you, he had always been very polite, caring and honest. You bit your lip as you thought about how your reaction might seem wrong to him, but you didn’t really think it would hurt the man with the biggest confidence in the nine realms.

“Uh, [___], your eggs are turning black” Bruce, who already sat down, said.

You yelled some curses and tried to save your breakfast, but it was already too late. “Why didn’t you say something sooner? Or help me instead of sitting down?!” All of them chuckled. Wonderful friends you have there.

Okay then, cereals it is. For weeks you haven’t had anything else, and you’ve grown sick of it. But not enough to start cooking, to be honest. So you took the frying pan and tried to clean up your mess, Loki still standing but a meter besides you, seeming to debate something mentally.

When you saw him coming closer in the corner of your eye, panic rose up inside of you. What to do now? The moment Loki wanted to grab your wrist and embrace you from behind, you quickly turned around and took a few, firm steps back, to bring some distance between you and him. Most of your friends were busy with their food and Tony finally turned the radio on, so you hoped that no one noticed.

“Sorry Loki, but…I don’t have time for this right now. Thor’s probably waiting.”

“Then I shall accompany you!” Loki cheered as he followed you outisde the kitchen where your friends were already buried way too deep into their own problems to notice.

You stopped your movements the moment you heared about Loki’s intentions. “Yeah…about that….Clint is with us. And he still doesn’t really feel comfortable around you because of that mind control thing, so…”

When you turned around to look at him, his expression was very hard to read, as usually. But the crack in his voice should’ve told you how he was really feeling on the inside. Yet you were too naive, still unaware of how you had hurt him. Looking to the ground, he picked on his hand before hastily walking the other direction.

“Oh, I get it. Have fun, then.”

_____

“Am I really this horrible to be around?”

Loki was trying to distract himself this whole time, but always ended up pondering about you.

Up until now, he never even realized how jealous he became to have you surrounded by so many different men. After all, they are way better than him when it came to their achievements. They’re heroes, and he’s just a criminal who’s allowed to work here as means of punishment. With you to have this great variety of a choice, he didn’t get why you’d chose him in the first place.

But this was probably the confict he was feeling inside of you, right? You were most likely to regret this last night, and were just too kind to turn him down. You were such a wonderful, pure being that it broke his heart sometimes…He knew he didn’t deserve you, but even the God of Mischief could dream of happiness, couldn’t he? Damn it!

“Just voice your feelings instead of torturing me like this…” Loki thought as he aimlessly wandered around in his room, not able to get the images of you sparring with his brother, your sweating bodies pressed close to each other.

Yes, compared to himself, Thor was way better at any point. Loki on the other hand was bothering everyone, so he’d always end up killing the mood or hurting someone. Why would it be so surprising to him that you’re embarassed of him liking you? You are probably also worried your friends would avoid when you’re with him. There are just too many reasons for you to reject him…

All in all, he was only causing trouble for you, with no positive things to provide except for his love. It was only logical for you to have changed your mind about the two of you.

Yes, Loki should probably mentally prepare himself for what’s to come…

____

For the rest of the day, Loki wouldn’t talk to you any more.

No matter how many times you knocked at his door and told him you wanted to talk to him about something important, he didn’t open or answer you at all. Little did you know he was just too afraid of what you wanted to tell him, that you would break up with him…

You jumped onto your bed and buried your head into your pillow. Did you really hurt him with your attitude? It was pretty clear that it would seem weird to Loki, but for it to have affected him this much?

Or maybe it wasn’t that. Maybe you just hurt his pride. Could it be that he didn’t intend to make this any more than just some casual sex? He was a trickster god after all, and maybe now he is just angry that he wasn’t the one to end this farce and humiliate you in front of everyone…

No. This isn’t the Loki you got to know. You knew this much - that the side of him he revealed to you, this vulnerable, hurt but affectionate man, that wasn’t fake. It couldn’t be.

Suddenly, your thoughts got interrupted by a hesistant knock on your door.

“Another party?” you thought as you saw the note Tony shoved under your door. Tony would always host a stupid party when he had a fight with Pepper. How childish.

Well, maybe it would provide some distraction from the situation at hand. If you let Loki have some space, he’ll hopefully come back to you at some point. He was like a cat sometimes - if he wants to be with you, he’ll be sure approach you.

No matter the outcome, at some point the two of you would need to be honest with each other.

____

“Why am I even going?”

That was the first thing you asked yourself, but still, you were wearing your most prettiest dress and skillfully put on some make-up. You were sure to enjoy yourself tonight - without that much alcohol this time, though.

On your way through the hallway, you saw many strangers filling up the giant hall. Tony sure had a lot of ‘friends’ he’d always invite, and even pay some models to attend his festives to ‘lighten up the mood’. Ugh…

But this wouldn’t be the only thing you didn’t need to see this evening. Probably the most unpredictable sight was the tall, silhouette you could see across the room - it was Loki.

It didn’t take you much time to notice this, even though you couldn’t see very clearly because of this fog machine and the bright, annoingly colourful lights. Yet one question was still burning into your mind, making your heart pond against your chest: Who is that woman standing besides him?

Slowly but steadily, you approached the two without getting noticed. Loki was wearing his black suit, his locks tamed by a braid. He held a cocktail and seemed to was really invested in his conversation with the woman who seemed to be one of the models. The way she smiled and giggled at anything he said told you everything you needed to know about her. And then the next song started.

You saw Loki, reaching out his hand for the woman and leading her to the dance floor. Not knowing what to do, you just stood a safe distance away at the bar, ordering some pure whiskey to numb the pain you felt when you saw him fooling around with that whore.

She put her arms around his neck, and in an instant, his hands were on her hips, pulling him close to him. This wasn’t even dancing anymore - that was dry-humping. Stay calm, [___]…contain yourself.

But when he whispered something into her ear and she got brightly red, something inside of you snapped. Just a brief moment before their lips were about to touch, you ran over the whole room and poured your drink into Loki’s face.

“[___]?! What are you doing here?” Loki stuttered quite embarassed.

“Fuck you!” you hissed, tears already running down your cheeks. You didn’t look at this other woman, but from the sounds she was making she seemed to be both amused and shocked about the sudden scene you were making.

Like this, the evening was over for you.

____

So it was true, after all.

You were only a playtoy, a pastime to have some short fun with. Oh man, how blind you were. And you couldn’t tell anyone about your pain. How often did your friends tell you to stop being so naive? Yet you couldn’t just listen to them for one time, couldn’t you?!

Quickly undressing yourself and throwing the dress in a corner of your room, you punched your wall so hard that your knuckles bursted open. “Fuck” you whimpered as you cleaned hands under cold water. “What should I do from now on?! I can never look into his eyes again!”

“[___]? Are you here?”

It only needed his voice to make you break down completely. All of the shame, the guilt and the self-loathing you were feeling right now were just too much to bear. You sank down on the bathroom floor and broke out in uncontrolled sobbing, trying to keep it as quiet as possible so he wouldn’t hear. But much to your surprise, he already stood in your room, his expression as worried as you’ve never seen before. No mask to cover up his emotions, just genuine concern.

Loki fell on his knees and pulled you close without any second thought. “My dear, you are bleeding! How did this happen?!”

“None of your business, Loki” you mumbled as clearly as the lump in your throat allowed you to. With your face leaned against his chest, you could clearly hear his heartbeat - it seemed so fast that it might as well explode this very moment. Why, though?

Loki furrowed his brows. “I know it isn’t. But I still want to help you.” His voice was so kind and soft that it hurt, even when he gently covered your injured hand with his, his healing magic feeling like a warm embrace.

“Why are you here?” you asked, trying to surpress your love for him and showing only your anger.

He didn’t react at first. What kind of question was that even? “What kind of man would I be to leave the woman I love alone in that kind of situation?”

Your only reaction was a loud, mocking laughter. “Love? Oh, did you tell that other woman, too? Is that how you behave in a relationship? Humping other girls as soon as your girlfriend isn’t in range?!” Oh, how hard was the temptation to slap him, but you managed to hold back.

“We are in a relationship?” he said with confusion. “My dear, you didn’t give me the impression that this might be the case.”

He was right, so you looked down in shame. Maybe you weren’t all that innocent. You were guilty of how things turned out as well.

“I wanted to talk to you today, Loki. Explain myself. But you wouldn’t answer the door.”

You couldn’t see since you tried to avoid his gaze, but Loki teared up as well. “I…was afraid you only came to reject me.”

“What???” you yelled, grabbing his shoulders. “Are you insane?! I love you!!!”

Loki gulped as he heared those words. He was craving for them ever since he first met you, but he always was so afraid you’d just laugh about him or would be disgusted or afraid of him like anyone else. All those months, he thought when he couldn’t be with you, he could at least try to be a good friend - and be close to you like this.

“My dear…” you began as you buried your head into his neck, your tears running down his skin, “This wasn’t about you. You did nothing wrong! It’s just…You know Natasha and Bruce are having a complicated relationship right now. Tony is having many arguments with his fiancée, and Thor’s girlfriend just broke up with him. I didn’t want to shove my own happiness into everyone’s faces while they are suffering this much…”

Now his tears began to run freely. How could he ever doubt the intentions of an angel as you were one? Loki pressed your small body tightly against his as he tried to regain his voice.

“My love, please forgive me! I was such a fool!” he cried out, remembering what he just did to you on the dancefloor. He finally had his chance to be with the only woman he ever truly desired, and he’d risk it just to make out with another, because of his low self-esteem.

“It’s okay, Loki” you cheered weakly as you cupped his cheek. “I should’ve told you earlier. I never wanted to hurt you, I swear! I’m not embarassed of you, neither do I regret anything! I am so happy to finally be with you!!!”

“As am I” he whispered while your face were getting closer and closer, until your lips merged perfectly. When you looked up, you saw that Loki had regained his usual, cheeky grin.

“Oh, I sure would love to mock everyone in this building with the fact that you are now mine” he cooed as he covered your face in kisses, “But I’ll respect your decision.”

“Well” you snickered as you felt his cold lips on every inch of your head, “We might begin with spending as much time together as we can, right?”

_________

I honestly lost track of who wanted to be tagged in Burning Passion only, and who wanted to see all Loki content, so just ignore or send me a message if you don’t wanna see this! Sorry.

@getdowntothatfunkysound @lokifics @trashyemonerd@slutforbuckybarnes @ivypage21 @markusstraya @tinytravisty@unknownuserhasjoined  @otaku-tater@littledeadrottinghood @hiddlestoner3059 @enzialeib @tom-fucking-hiddleston-1981 @lust-for-pan @fruityflies@trashyemonerd @iamburdened @death-beetles @honeyicouldntthinkofaurl  @amurov @diana-agnimitra@shaunamart @fire-in-her-veinz @red-writer13 @libbymouse@lokiscure  @i-am-always-famished @alexa444 @4-a-m @indica-witch @pinkieperil @lou-makes-me-strong @phasma-trash@lokilover-39 @hiddlestoner3059 @rocknroll-is-thewaytogo@purpstraw @lovelyangelofasgard @elevenismysweetie@orighami @trashkidsblog @rebelmosh @the-resident-demon@lokifics @trashyemonerd @slutforbuckybarnes@ivypage21@markusstraya @tinytravisty @unknownuserhasjoined@otaku-tater @littledeadrottinghood @enzialeib @lust-for-pan @fruityflies @iamburdened @death-beetles @random-dude-m @littlemartiangurl @slaywolfqueen @thelowkeylokifanblog @loki-the-fox @za24ever @trubluepensfan @chibiyanai @dsakita @lady-loki-ren @caticorndancingonpainbows @loving-life-my-way @crappyimagines @supreme-leader-armitage-hux @a-kiddo-with-a-doggo @elwyn7 @celestiacq @armina-nekadakash-laufeyson @amor67figment-love @vh12457 @got7wanda @tom-fucking-hiddleston-1981 @sweetpeaismylifenow @loving-life-my-way @stanmarvelcu@hopeforwhatever @thewordsinthesky @larryopium @nicolch2003 @hiei1300 @janepetersonxxx @imnotinsanehunny @0lokyrie0 @lizzymalfoy16 @untoldshortsofthefandoms @lokis-queen05 @saxgirl21 @welcome-to-fangirl-hell @limedane21@sparkling-gayyy @diana-agnimitra @lokiscure @getdowntothatfunkysound@ihavenofilter @thicccnotiq @fire-in-her-veinz

[ikiaikainen]

Changeling

Winter has always known there was something strange about him - and not just his name. When a new student arrives with looks similar to him, he is instantly drawn to the strange new boy. But where this encounter leads is not something Winter had expected, for better or worse. (2017)

Featured on my oneshot collection Something Strange on Tapas.

Winter had always known there was something wrong with him - something more than just his peculiar nature name, of course. It wasn't that he didn't feel like "not fitting in" with others of his age: he did, he had friends, and in general he had a good, healthy social life for a 15-year-old boy. Rather, it was the way he looked that caused not only curious looks from other people, but also confusion in Winter himself whenever gazing at himself from the mirror: he had strong, sharp teeth (the dentists had been forced to polish them by Winter's parents, but Winter himself had refused them to be completely flattened; at that age he had thought his fangs were cool), his nails always kept growing in odd ways and he constantly had to cut them, and the texture of his hair was strange at best, feeling like animal fur rather than human hair.

What was even stranger, however, was the hair growing on his lower back, and what undoubtedly looked like a scar on his lower back.

Winter knew it was normal in puberty to notice hair growing in strange and often unexpected places the sex education classes didn't cover, but he had had this strange, white hair there as long as he could remember, and the same applied to the small scar.

Winter had often asked his parents about these and other strange things:

"Why are my teeth like that? Why do I have to flatten them?"

"Why is there fur growing on my lower back?", a question immediately met with an agitated response of "It's not fur, it's hair; your great uncle was the same."

He'd further ask about the odd shape of his ears, and the the scar on his lower back; about the nails and the way his hair felt, and the weird, small bumps on his head.

The answers always varied.

The strange, white hair was said to be an unspecified genetic disorder that ran in the family, but all the relatives with the condition were long gone by now. Likewise, the scar on his lower back was initially claimed to be a scar from Winter falling badly as a child. The bumps on his head were somehow related to his skull's structure, and the sharp tips of his ears were simply a remain from the more primal past of humans - it happened sometimes, with kids being born this way due to how their normally inactive genes were somehow activated in birth.

As younger, Winter would always play with the idea he was some sort of monster child who had then gone through surgeries to look more human.

However, such thoughts were quickly buried until logic and reason when he matured, and for a good while Winter had basically forgotten his odditions. Things changed when his puberty started: with the new changes his hormones brought with them, the strangeness of his body became much more apparent.

"Maybe you're intersex?" one of his school friends had suggested: Winter's strange medical past and secretive parents seemed to align with what he had read regarding the topic.

"No, no, that's not it," Winter had replied. "It's not like that; it's definitely different. I have read about it and I can't find myself relating to most of the things the books mention, let alone what people say on forums."

Things came to change, however, when a new boy arrived to the school.

He was a year older than Winter was, but although they weren't in the same class, it was easy to notice the peculiarity of the new student: he was tall, his ears shaped so similarly to Winter's it was almost uncanny, and when he laughed a row of almost predatory teeth could be shown.

All this interested Winter greatly, and a week later, during one lunch break, he sat opposite of the young man.

"Hi," he said as he placed the food tray in front of of the new guy's own. "Is this place free?"

"Uh, yeah," the other mumbled, somewhat awkwardly: he hadn't expected Winter specifically to come here and was a little confused.

"You're the new student, right? What's your name?"

"It's, um," the boy started somewhat awkwardly and paused, as if to think very hard. "It's Ethan. I'm Ethan. And you are...?"

"Winter," he replied and smiled. "I know, it's a weird name: my parents had strange tastes."

"I think it's cool," Ethan answered. "It's kind of otherworldly somehow, I like it."

Not wanting to teeter around the issue any further, Winter decided to risk it all and asked as casually as it was just possible for him in the situation:

"Speaking of otherworldly... I couldn't help but notice your teeth. What's up with them?"

Like out of instinct, Ethan covered his mouth with his hands and looked at Winter with an alarmed expression.

"No, don't worry, I'm not making fun of you!" Winter hurried to explain. "It's just that... Well, look," he then said and opened his mouth, moving his lips a little with his fingers to show his teeth in their full, animal-like glory.

"You have them too?" Ethan asked, eyes wide and blinking faster than what was normal - he seemed to be very particularly abashed by the sight. "Are you perhaps... " Ethan started carefully but then shook his head. "No, nevermind."

"Your ears, too," Winter continued, now intrigued by the reaction he had gotten out of Ethan. "They're kind of sharp, aren't they?"

"Well, yeah..." the other admitted.

"What about your nails?"

"What about my nails?"

Winter showed his hand and the sharp nails he hadn't cut off in order to show them to Ethan. "Do you also have nails like mine? They grow really fast, I usually cut them and file the tips of them to make them less sharp, but I couldn't be bothered lately. So many school things to focus on - you know, that sort of stuff."

Ethan hesitated for a moment, looking at Winter's fingernails and then his own.

"I cut and file them too," he finally said with a low, careful tone. "But they look almost like yours, although they don't grow all that fast, thankfully."

Winter was overjoyed upon finding someone who shared these strange traits with him, and as the curiosity got the better of him, he continued asking: "Do you have any other strange things?"

"Strange things?" Ethan raised his eyebrows.

"Like, well, um... Surgery scars, or something like that? Especially around lower back?"

Ethan was silent, looking at Winter with a strange expression the other boy couldn't quite read or understand. Had he spoken too much? Was Ethan weirded out? Gods, he shouldn't have spoken this much after all.

"Is there... something strange with your lower back?" the new student finally asked upon being silent for so long. "Like, anything?"

"Do you promise not to laugh?" Winter asked solemnly. "Or be weirded out?"

"I promise," Ethan said and raised his hand to make a gesture of a vow. "I don't think I have any right to make any comments about the bodies of other people anyway, no matter how strange."

"Good. See, I have a surgery scar there, but also this... strange white something, like fur? I don't really understand it, mum and dad just claim it's some sort of rare condition, but that's basically it - I can't find any information even online."

Ethan looked extremely thoughtful as he listened to this. Then, out of blue, he asked something Winter had not anticipated.

"Were you adopted? Are you the biological child of your parents?"

"What kind of question is that?" Winter snapped. "Of course I am! I have almost the same hair colour as my father too!"

"Hmm... If you say so," the boy replied and took a bite of his food he had momentarily forgotten to focus on. "I just wanted to make sure."

"Why?"

"I just... wanted to, that's all."

He moved the fork around his salad absentmindedly.

"Hey Winter."

"Yeah?"

"Do you believe in ghosts? Things like that?"

Winter shrugged. "Can't say I do."

"I see..."

"I mean it's not like I can't deny them either, but since I have never seen with my own eyes... I'm not that inclined to believe."

"What would you do if you did... see a ghost or something along those lines?"

The boy laughed nervously. "What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer," Ethan replied but looked away from Winter as he said this.

"I guess I would. I mean, if I can have a condition like this even though the rest of the world doesn't seem to even know it exist, then I guess I could understand a ghost or a demon too - it'd be strange, but not too strange, you know?"

"Gotcha."

Ethan stood up from the table, still half finished food on his plate.

"You finished?" Winter asked, not having even touched his food yet.

"Yeah. But Winter..." Ethan murmured, and once more lowered his voice. "If you want to talk more about that condition thing whatever... Meet me after school at the school gym."

Winter nodded obediently, and fast forward 3 more hours, he was standing inside the empty school gym. It was part of the main building so it was locked only when the school was also closed, and so getting inside was absolutely no trouble for him. Even better, it was also never supervised, so sneaking in was easy, and he had no fear whatsoever about getting caught by a teacher.

He walked around, the dimly lit room so dark he could barely see: the windows of the gym had been blocked with large, black curtains, and only the small holes time had bitten into them gave him any light to see around.

And then he heard Ethan's voice.

"Here, Winter! Let's go to the changing rooms, it's better there."

His voice was silent and raspy, and Winter felt something akin to anxiety rise from within him: just what was Ethan planning to do? Was he really going to talk more about this condition of what they both seemed to have? Or was he going to punch him and steal his money? Or assault him? Was that it?

Winter hit his cheeks with both of his hands to cast off such thoughts, and Ethan heard the slapping sound.

"Winter, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Nothing, nothing!" Winter replied and stopped hitting himself.

"You don't need to be nervous," Ethan spoke as he stepped inside the back of the gym hall, into the small stairway leading into the changing rooms. "I'm not going to murder you or anything. This is just the best place to talk without anyone interfering. And if someone does come, we are sure to hear it well in advance."

"You're absolutely right," the other nodded. "I would never consider you murdering me. No way."

They were now inside the changing room, and once Winter had closed the door behind him (making sure it was not locked, just in case), Ethan switched on the lights.

"Alright, look," he started, voice shaking a bit. "What I'm about to tell and show you is very, how do you say it... personal. So whatever you say or do, don't make a ruckus, alright? I'm sure you understand."

Nervous but perfectly understanding the concern of Ethan, Winter nodded. However, as soon as the other boy started pulling his pants down, Winter yelped loudly.

"H-hold on!" he cried. "W-w-what do you think you're doing?!"

"I'm not going to take all my pants off!" Ethan replied, flustered as he opened his belt. When his pants fell down on the floor with the belt clicking against it, Winter saw something so strange none of his earlier scenarios of what could happen couldn't even compare to the sight.

Sticking out from his back was, undoubtedly, a thin, blond tail. It was not particularly long but one couldn't have called it short either, and it resembled a lion's tail with a tuft on the top of it, except it was much thinner. Ethan then turned around to reveal his back and lo and behold: blond fur was growing just around the same place as where Winter had it.

"What's... the meaning of this...?" Winter finally let out after moments of staring. "Ethan, you're not pulling my leg, aren't you? This is not a prank?"

"It's not a prank," the boy replied and his tail twitched a little. However, probably feeling self conscious or maybe getting cold, he soon put his pants back on and hid the tail inside.

"What... are you?" the other boy finally asked, still staring at where Ethan's tail had previously been in.

"A changeling, I think."

"A what?"

"Did your parents never read you fairy tales as a child?" Ethan asked.

"Not really..." Winter mumbled. "So please, explain me..."

"Changeling is someone who has been traded to another child," the young man explained in a very a matter-of-fact way. "A troll mother takes her own baby and trades it to a human baby, so the troll raises a human, and the humans raise a troll. That's how it usually goes in stories. Sometimes it's the fairy folk too, or elves."

"So are you a troll?"

Ethan laughed and shook his head. "No, I'm a human."

"But humans don't...." Winter started, but decided not to say anything after all - he couldn't find the right words.

"I was taken from my human parents as a child by a demon mother. It's said that when you spend long enough with them, your body starts to change too to resemble them more. But this is all I can do - I don't have horns or anything similar."

"Then..." Winter started slowly, looking at his shaking hand he had rose over his face. "Then that means... I must be a changeling too?"

"If you grew with humans, it means you must be a demon child, unlike me, who is a human."

Winter put his hand over his mouth and stared at the floor so hard he could have made a hole into it through the sheer intensity of his pierce.

Of course, that'd make sense. It would explain the surgeries, the two lumps on his head that seemed to have grown in the recent years; the secretiveness of his parents and the fact that aside from the similar hair colour, Winter didn't have much else in common with his family or relatives. Granted, there were some similarities, but didn't most people have some? If you took a stranger from the street that vaguely resembled you and told someone you're relatives, surely they would find at least one similarity.

"It must be a lot to take at once," Ethan's spoke and his voice pulled Winter out of his haze. "But since you seemed to be completely left into the dark with this, I thought it'd be the right thing to tell you."

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and then looked away.

"I thought there was a possibility that... maybe we were swapped or something, but then I remembered it would have required us to be the same age. And there is a year difference between us, right?"

"Y-yeah... I'm pretty sure I'm exactly the age my parents claim me to me; there were no secrets, hush-hushes or murmurs regarding that topic."

"So... What are you going to do now?"

Winter looked at Ethan.

"I don't know," he then replied and looked away from the changeling. "This is kind of a lot to take. When I came here... I, uh, absolutely didn't expect this to happen."

"Sorry about that," the blond apologized.

"It's fine, now I understand everything that has been puzzling me since I was a kid. But tell me, Ethan, what are you doing here if you were raised by demons?"

"I learned I'm a human only some time ago myself," Ethan admitted with an awkward laughter. "And so I wanted to know what kind of life humans really lead so I came here. Some of my demon friends came too, although they're in different schools - this one refused to take more in due to lack of space and resources."

He laughed again, but this time his cheeks reddened slightly as he continued: "It's not easy being a human, you know? I keep saying and doing weird things all the time; we look similar, but there are a lot of differences between how we and humans behave."

"Like?"

"Like, the demons I grew up with were really playful, in the same way cats and dogs are regardless of their age. Humans aren't like that, people my age are supposed to be much more collected."

"I'm not playful," Winter commented. "Even though it seems I'm a demon."

"It's not entirely biological - it's in the culture too. You have been raised to control your feelings and stuff, haven't you?"

"... you're correct."

"Then... do you prefer to live as a human, or do you want to find your biological parents and live with the demons?" the boy suddenly asked.

"I-I must think about it," Winter breathed. "It's all very sudden, and I'm perfectly accustomed to this kind of life, so I doubt I'd like to change the pace now. But... "

He took a short break and looked at Ethan before speaking: "But I'd like to meet my other parents, one day. Not now, maybe not soon, but some time... And I want to talk to my parents about this too and about them keeping it a secret."

"Sounds like a plan. But say, have your horns grown out yet?"

"No, just two bumps on the head. I was always told it's just my skull being weird."

"Hm, then you definitely want to get something done with them - they should grow out anytime soon. Usually even children have them but maybe the human influence has made you into a late bloomer..."

"O-oh great," Winter stuttered and instinctively touched the two bumps on his head, imagining them bursting out one day to reveal horns. "Um, does it hurt?"

"It might sting at first, from what I have heard - I never got any horns."

"O-okay..."

The two stood there in silence then, looking awkwardly at each other, then the floor and then each other again. Only Ethan's suggestion to leave finally broke the silence, and they both agreed their business here was done.

They sneaked out, made sure to shut off the lights and went outside through the backdoor, as the front door was probably already locked, and the back exit directly led them outside.

"If you want to, like, call or anything or just hang out, just tell me. I can give my number," Ethan spoke once they were outdoors.

"That'd be nice," Winter replied and took out his phone, and Ethan then proceeded to give his phone number.

"Do you like video games?" he then asked, and Winter nodded: "I'm not very good, but yeah, I do."

"Want to hang out in the arcade tomorrow? I can introduce you to the other demons as well - they're all really chill."

Winter hesitated, but only for a moment, and eventually nodded: "I'd love that."

"Great, it's a deal then. Tomorrow, after school, see you there!"

"See you!"

And the two parted their ways. Only then the entire situation where Winter now was in washed over him, and he had to take a hold of the nearby building's wall to keep his balance.

"I'm... a demon?" he thought to himself. "Those surgeries, those secrets, all those were to pretend I'm a human?"

Frankly, Winter didn't mind the fact his tail had obviously been removed as he wasn't very keen on the idea of keeping such a thing a secret. Nevertheless, the fact his parents had never told him the truth upset him beyond words: telling the truth would have saved him from so much suffering and agonizing over a body he certainly liked, but couldn't quite understand.

Once back at home, he would talk about all this. He'd make his parents tell the whole story so that Winter could understand the circumstances of his birth better.

And, the next day, he would meet with Ethan again and talk to demons... Those he was also one of, despite the fact the idea felt absurd at best.

"But Ethan is there," Winter told himself as he now kept walking back home on the silent evening road. "He seems like a good guy, he explains things calmly and so that I understand them too, and he seemed to be happy to be able to meet with me again."

He stopped and took a deep breath.

"What more, he wanted me to understand my circumstances, despite not knowing me at all. He put himself at risk by revealing himself to me, a stranger, just so he could reassure me and show I'm not alone."

Winter smiled, cheeks burning a little.

"I think he is a good guy, truly."

[lieuwrites]

Aerobics Instructor | Lee Seokmin | Oneshot

Title: Aerobics Instructor

Pairing/Characters: Lee Seokmin x Reader, Kwon Soonyoung, Boo Seungkwan

Synopsis: The newest student of Seokmin’s aerobics class can’t keep her eyes off of the instructor.

Genre/Warnings: Fluff, female reader, non-idol!AU, Svt side characters (booseoksoon)

Words: 1644

POV: First Person

I stood outside the gym with my best friend, looking into the entrance. People of different shapes and sizes entered and exited and I could feel my motivation drain from my body. “Oh come on (y/n), stop hesitating. The class starts in 10 minutes and I’d like to be able to choose a good spot to exercise.” She gently tugged at my wrist but I stood still.

I wasn’t the most fit person, hence the reason why I was here. My friend had been attending this aerobics class for a few weeks and offered to take me, which in the moment felt like a great idea but when the day finally came that we would attend together, I almost bailed. “It’s aerobics for God’s sake, it’s like the sloth of exercise.”

“No, the sloth of exercise would be yoga.”

“I thought yoga was more of the tortoise of exercise.”

“No the tortoise of exercise would be—”

“Are we really having this conversation right now? Dude suck it up. if you don’t enjoy it, I’ll let you leave during the break.” She gave me pleading eyes and I almost budged. I didn’t know why I was so reluctant to go. I knew it would be good for me to get out of the house and get my fitness levels up, but at the same time, everyone was so intimidating. From what I could see through the windows, they all looked so motivated and into their workouts.

“I guess I just need a bit more motivation to go take the class. I think I’d be able to build up enough motivation in a few months.” As I turned to leave, I bumped into a solid figure. “Whoa there sorry- Oh hey you’re here again!” I looked up to the stranger whose hands had fallen to my shoulders in aims to steady my body from the collision. His gaze moved from my friend, who he had previously acknowledged with his statement, to me. He smiled down at me, his eyes crinkling into crescents, and moved to talk to my friend.

I couldn’t keep my eyes from him. I studied his face and figure, their conversation mixing into the background noise. That was until I heard my name, pulling me into the conversation.

“Awh, are you sure you don’t want to join the class? I swear it gets fun when you really get into it and feel your blood pumping and sweat dripping— okay maybe that part isn’t fun but—” He talked animatedly about the class and I couldn’t help my lips from turning into a soft smile.

“—And that sense of accomplishment when it’s over! It’s the best! Just give it a try.” My friend nodded along with him and answered for me. “She’ll definitely come.”

When I thought it wasn’t possible, his smile grew wider at the news and held his hands out to us for a high five. “Alright! I’ll see you guys there.” And with those words, he turned and strode into the building.

The encounter seemed to be the motivation I needed because when my friend grabbed my hand to lead me inside, I willing walked along with her. “So… That guy-”

“Seokmin. He’s a real friendly fellow.”

“Uh yes, Seokmin. He’s in this class we’re taking?”

“Yeah he sure is. All of the people there are really friendly. I wouldn’t have taken you somewhere if I thought you’d be uncomfortable.” She gave my hand a comforting squeeze before letting go and entering the class. It was a normal sized room and it was almost full with other people. I scanned the crowd, expecting to find Seokmin but I was left disappointed. I was pulled out of my thoughts by my friend calling me over to where she stood, closest to the front of the class.

She spoke with two other boys who also seemed to be regulars to the aerobics class. I walked to them and they smiled invitingly at me. “(Y/n), this is Soonyoung and Seungkwan. Guys, this is my best friend (y/n).” We greeted each other and the conversation came naturally.

After a few minutes of talking, a familiar voice snapped us all into silence. “Okay everyone! Let’s get this class started!” A chorus of cheers were heard and I turned to look at the source of the voice. Seokmin, who had entered from the staff entrance, walked to the front and pointed a small remote at the sound system in the corner of the room. An electric beat flowed out the speakers and everyone, including Seokmin, turned to face the mirrors at the front of the class.

“I want to hear everyone singing along! And to the newbies, don’t worry! You’ll catch on eventually. Now let’s get this warm up dance started!” He spoke cheerfully into a small microphone attached to his ear which transferred his voice to the same set of speakers the music came from. Lyrics flowed along with the simple dance, that was easy enough to follow, and the rest of the class sang along.

I stayed silent, because I didn’t know the song, and concentrated on following Seokmin’s movements. That, however, proved to be a difficult task for myself. Not because it was hard --a simple swing of the hips left to right while moving each arm from my head to my shoulders-- but because the sight of Seokmin was a complete distraction. He had changed out of his casual clothes and into some shorts with compression tights underneath, and a muscle tank as his shirt.

His arms were exposed and were lean but somewhat muscular. I couldn’t stop my eyes from wandering to his thighs, which were already defined by his tights, as they flexed with every movement he made. Although the music was loud, I could hear Soonyoung speak from beside me. “They’re like art right? His thighs, they’re sculpted by the Gods.” I looked over at Soonyoung, who obviously caught onto what I was staring at. He himself seemed to be lost in the instructor’s movements as his eyes were also fixed to Seokmin’s thighs. I blushed and turned to look back at the front, only to catch Seokmin’s gaze in the mirror.

As the song ended we moved onto the actual workout. We did everything from single to partner work. Different upbeat songs would play as everyone followed along with the instructions. Occasionally, Seokmin would move from his position in the front to correct someone’s posture, coming over to me a few times. By the fourth time he came over to gently push the small of my back and shoulders into a comfortable upright, straight position, my friend and the boys were snickering at me. Seokmin grinned once again and walked over to someone across the room to help them with their stance too.

“I don’t see how hard it is to keep a straight back,” Seungkwan spoke.

“Or keep your knees bent,” Soonyoung joined. They continued to playfully tease me until my friend spoke up.

“Guys leave (y/n) alone, it’s her first class.” I sighed in relief at her defense. “I personally think it would be easier for you if you asked Seokmin for some private classes.” My head snapped over to look at her incredulously and she stuck her tongue out at me while wriggling her eyebrows suggestively. ’So much for solidarity in friendship.’

As we got to the first break, everyone was energised and broke into a light sweat. Seungkwan dragged my friend to join the crowd of people who had left the room to either buy some water or just get out for the few 15 minutes of the break. I sat on the ground with Soonyoung and we chatted about how the class was so far. “You obviously seem to enjoy it.” He nudged my shoulder with his and let out a laugh.

“Of course I’m enjoying the class. I would’ve left by now if I wasn’t.”

“That’s good news, I’m glad you’re enjoying it cause we’re gonna continue at this pace for the second half.” Another body sat down in front of us and joined conversation. I met eyes with Seokmin and smiled back at him. “I gathered from our conversation out front that you’d be in this class but my friend didn’t tell me you were the instructor,” I tried to converse.

He chuckled politely at me before continuing. “Do I not suit the ‘Aerobics instructor’ image?”

“Oh she thinks you suit the image very well.” The mischievous boy next to me patted my shoulder while laughing to himself. I swatted his hand away and glared at him. I felt the heat move up to my cheeks and Seokmin joined in with Soonyoung’s laughter.

“Thanks, I also think I suit the image very well.”

Eventually, people started to pour back into the class which signaled the end of the break.

Seokmin was true to his word as the pace of the class matched what we had previously done. As class was coming to a close, we were given instructions to do a final series of stretches. Seokmin gladly demonstrated to us, bending over, moving into lunges and simply showing off his body.

“Seokmin, you’re trying too hard!” Seungkwan called from his spot and the class laughed together. “What? I was given these god sent looks and I’m going to flex them.” He smirked towards the crowd and I swear I heard Soonyoung give out a sigh of admiration.

Class ended and we thanked Seokmin for teaching the class to which he also responded with a thanks for our attendance. As we exited, I heard his smooth voice call out to me.

“(Y/n), I expect to see you back here next week.” And with that, he gave one last charismatic smile and a wink before walking back into the staff room.

Heyoo I’m back on my bullshit so here’s a fic. I literally went from writing a Minghao oneshot to a Seungcheol one, then to a Junhui series and then a Wonwoo oneshot before coming to this. My mind ?? is so ?? messy ??

Anyways I was procrastinating and scrolling twitter when I saw this tweet and I felt that shit in my soul. Like damn bitch same ?? Also the warm up song in this story is the one Seventeen wrote for the ISAC 2017 so watch that here.

I’ve been stressed for some reason and writing this kinda alleviated that shiet.

Request here, follow here and read my other works here !!

AO3: Junshuji

[buffyfan145]

If It's Lonely Where You Are

Fandom: Victoria, Vicbourne

Characters: Queen Victoria, Lord Melbourne, Prince Albert, Princess Alice, Emily Lamb-Palmerston, Lord Palmerston, Dash, various other members of the Lamb family and servants at Buckingham palace

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Seeking refuge and advice Queen Victoria goes to visit her old friend and first love Lord Melbourne but old feelings emerge.  Set during and after season 2 episode 2 starting with the garden scene and becomes my version of season 2. Oneshot set to the Goo Goo Dolls song "Name".

Author's Note: I actually wrote this last Saturday the day before the episode aired partly with what I thought would happen and then changing to what I wanted to happen especially after I dreamt some of it vividly.  Also combines two other story ideas I had about how Victoria actually had her own bedroom at Brocket Hall and you can still visit (and check out the website as it's lovely), and how Victoria named her daughter Alice in honor of Lord M since he told her that was his favorite girl's name. Also make sure to listen to "Name" after you read.

“If it’s lonely where you are come back down and I won’t tell them your name.” – From the Goo Goo Dolls song “Name”

As soon as she saw Lord Melbourne attending to his plants in the glass house Victoria knew she made the right decision.  After finding out about her second pregnancy so soon after her daughter was born, others were trying to control her again, and Albert’s attention being distracted by Lady Ada Lovelace with their talk of science Victoria had to get out of the palace.  Too many things were reminding her of those horrible days at Kensington and how her mother and Sir John controlled everything she did.  Victoria adored her daughter and would with this second child, but the pregnancy itself and how vulnerable it made her was at times too much to bear.  She needed a refuge and could only think of one place and one man that could give it to her.

Being back at Brocket Hall and seeing her former Prime Minister and dear friend calmness already came over her.  It had been so long since she’d been here and been able to speak with him privately.  He still didn’t know she was there as he watered the various plants.  His hair had gone a bit grayer as she had noticed when he came to the palace a few days earlier, but it suited him so well.  Somehow he looked even more handsome and an old fluttering came back to her belly as she stepped near him and saw his forearms clearly as his sleeves were rolled up.  Veins were visible in his hands as he worked them over the flowers, which oddly she found appealing too.

“Hello Lord M.”  She said somewhat quietly as not to startle him too greatly.

He turned towards her and was very surprised.  Then that slight smile came over his face.  “Ma’am, I didn’t expect to see you so soon.  Is everything alright?”

She could tell he knew something was concerning her but she ignored his question for now.  “It’s a lovely day and I wanted to pay a visit to my old friend.  It’s been too long since I’ve been at Brocket.”

His eyes met hers in understanding.  The last time she was here she had proposed to him.  It seemed like such a long time ago but it really hadn’t been.  So much had changed but in some ways things never changed.  “Brocket and I are pleased to have you back and are at your service.”

As she thanked him and joined at his side they made small talk catching up a bit on how he was doing in retirement and then teaching her things about the various plants and flowers he was working on.  Victoria suspected he knew something more serious was troubling her but was waiting for her to be ready to talk.  She was grateful for this as she needed it.

Finally when they stood back up Victoria took off her bonnet and gloves as the heat in the glass house was getting to her.  Lord M asked if she wanted to go inside the house but she preferred to stay as they were more secluded.  He then knew something was wrong and stepped closer to her.  Taking her hands in his, his thumbs gently ran across her knuckles.  “Ma’am, whatever it is you can tell me.”

And so she did.  She confessed everything that had been troubling her about the new pregnancy, being a mother a wife and a queen at the same time, everyone trying to control her, her worries, her fears, and even how much she missed him.  She didn’t look at him at all while she spoke but her voice did break a few times as tears came.  When she finally did look up the look he gave her was beyond anything she expected.  Those green eyes were so full of love and how concerned he was for her.

He squeezed her hands before he spoke.  “Victoria, you are the strongest, most loving, and brave woman I have ever known.  You’ve accomplished so much for yourself and are already a great Queen.  I couldn’t be more proud to have played a part in it and of you.”  Then he took his hands from her own and cupped her face while wiping the tears away with his thumbs.  “It’s ok to feel like this and I’m glad you feel you can confide in me when it gets to be too much.  You will get through this and I know you will be the better for it.”

“Thank you so much Lord M.”  She said grateful once more for him.

“You are most welcome your Majesty.”  He replied but then surprised her as he bent down and kissed her forehead.

She surprised herself even further as she felt her arms instinctively go around him and pull him close into a hug while burying her head into his chest.  He only hesitated for a second before he wrapped his arms around her too with his left hand cradling her head.  This closeness was what she had longed for in those early years of her reign and their friendship.  It felt so right to be in his arms and felt so safe and reassuring.  Time seemed to stand still as they stayed in each other’s arms, no words even needed but just feeling each other breathe.  It felt like home.

Soon they did part and both smiled.  “Thank you Lord M for everything.”

He was quiet but nodded.  She gathered up her bonnet and went to tie it back on her head but his next question stopped her.

“Ma’am, I have a suggestion as I feel Brocket seems to give you refuge as it does for myself.  If you would like I could have a room prepared for you to extend your visits.  My sister would love to have you over as well as her husband as he seems to be headed into politics himself soon.”

He was asking her to stay and have her own room at Brocket Hall.  “Could such an idea work?”  There were so many things that could occur or cause suspicion.

“Your husband and anyone from your household would be welcome here.  You have residences in many of the other great houses in England so why not here?”  He pointed out.

“Yes,” she said with excitement creeping back in, “I do and I shall accept.”  Lord M smiled so widely that she couldn’t help but do the same.

~*~

And so it was done.  Victoria first made sure to bring up the idea to Albert and surprisingly he agreed as other families like those at Hatfield House were in close proximity to Brocket Hall.  The couple even visited not too long after to have dinner with Lord M, Emily Lamb and her husband Henry Palmerston, while also touring the grounds.  Victoria picked out a wonderful room that overlooked the vast park and lake where the rooks gathered.  From then on it would be referred to as Victoria’s room.

Over dinner the whole party talked over various subjects.  Albert and Lord M got along even better than Victoria expected and having Emily and Palmerston there helped it not feel as awkward.  Victoria’s pregnancy was progressing nicely and even better than her first.  The subject of baby names came up and since they were already settled on Albert Edward if it was a boy suggestions started coming for if the child was a girl.  Various names were then thrown about like Elizabeth, Mary, and Charlotte but Lord M said something interesting.

“Alice, I’ve always loved the name Alice.”

“That’s a very pretty name.  Princess Alice.”  Victoria replied pleased.

Emily agreed.  “It goes back a ways in our family and I’ve always liked it too.”

Albert even smiled.  “I like it too.”

“Looks like we have it then.”  Palmerston said as he went back to eating.

It was then that Victoria decided if this child or a future child was a girl Alice would be her name in honor of her dear Lord M.

~*~

As the year went on Victoria gave birth to a son and the future King Edward VII, and was much happier as she took precautions not to be in that predicament for a while.  Lord M and her kept in touch over letters but was talked into not sending as much and after her costume ball for the weavers and a dance with Lord M she was eagerly awaiting their trip to Brocket that July of 1842.  Albert, Emma, Alfred, and various others of her ladies were coming with her and thankfully her mother stayed behind with Lezhen to care for little Vicky and Bertie.  Victoria was excited for this fortnight at Brocket and hoped the two weeks wouldn’t go by so fast.

A few dinners were planned as was riding, and visits to Hatfield House and others in the area.  Emily and Palmerston would be there the whole time too and Victoria would see more of Lord M’s nieces and nephews and their families.  It was a very happy occasion and she made sure to bring Dash as he too missed Lord M as well and both were glad to be reunited.

Albert however did have to go back to the palace during their second week as some matters needed attending and there was word his father wasn’t too well.  Victoria was sad to see him leave as they had gotten closer again and that whole thing with Lady Ada was nothing to bother with.

However at the same time it made her excited to spend more time with Lord M again and be alone.  No one though anything of it when they went for a walk after luncheon and how closely she leaned against Lord M’s arm or when they sat to feed the rooks and talked over many things and she took his hand in hers and slowly traced them with her fingertips.  They didn’t see how their eyes kept meeting across the room as the family talked of secret rooms and passageways Lord M and his siblings played in as children, or how flushed she was getting and the dark look that would overcome him.  It reminded her of when she first realized what she felt for him but that feeling was even more intense now as something was different about Lord M.  Almost as if he knew this could be their last chance.

That warm, late July night as the younger members of the Lamb family played music and danced Lord M asked Victoria to dance again and she accepted.  They hadn’t danced together since her costume ball and Victoria realized how much she missed him and now that he was here she was aching to stay near him.  He must have noticed as he leant towards her ear and whispered for her to wait up for him.  She looked back into his eyes at first startled but then realizing she wanted this she replied she would.

After retiring to her room Skerrett helped her change into her nightgown and took out most of the pins until Victoria dismissed her saying she could finish brushing her hair.  That was what she was doing when minutes later the servants’ door opened back up and there Lord M stood in his dressing gown. He smiled at her after he shut the door.

Her breath caught as she knew what was happening but also still wanting it to happen.  She didn’t know what to say except, “There you are.”

“Here I am.”  He replied and moved forward towards her taking her hairbrush from her.  She turned around back to her vanity mirror as he started brushing her hair.  His fingers felt lovely going through her hair and she never realized she wanted him to do this.

Then he put the brush down and moved her hair away from her neck.  He met her eyes in the mirror before bending down and kissing her exposed neck.  A jolt went through her as his lips kissed and sucked on her skin like she always wanted.  Suddenly Victoria felt 18 again and the man she first fell in love with was kissing her finally.  She was elated but it wasn’t where she needed him to kiss her and she needed to kiss him back.

When a sudden boldness she stood and faced him giving a look to him telling Lord M she wanted him and was going to get him.  Then she walked into his open arms and pulled his head down to kiss her.  Their lips met in such a passionate kiss that she almost forgot to stop to breathe.  He pulled her flush against his body and she finally felt what she knew proved how much he wanted her and it made her deepen the kiss and heard him groan in pleasure.

Then she surprised him again by stepping away from him and taking off her nightgown, revealing her bare body underneath.  She was no longer a young virgin who need guidance but knew what she wanted and how to get it.  Her body was now full of curves and marked by motherhood and she saw his eyes widen to take it all in.  “My God, you’re so beautiful Victoria.”

“I need you William.”  She replied and he finally touched her and explored with his hands and mouth making Victoria shiver and thrilled.  She needed to see him and touch him too, so they quickly worked together to rid him of his dressing gown.  Then finally he stood before her naked as she was and it was her turn to touch and explore him.  He did not seem like an old man to her and to feel his skin on hers was so intoxicating.

They made their way to the bed and they kissed and touched, tasted and started making love, making up for all the five years they waited and thought would never come.  When he pushed inside her it felt right and finally like they were home.  They matched each other in thrusts in such a perfect rhythm that they came together at the same time.  She had never experienced this to such an extent before.  Afterwards each told the other how much they loved them and how they always would.  It didn’t matter the timing or that one was with another they also loved, this was going to happen regardless.  But they made a vow to not let this happen again.  They could only have one night and that would last for them in their memories.  And as the night was still young they were able to make love two more times before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

The next morning Victoria awoke with the sun shining and Lord M’s arms and body wrapped around hers as he slept beside her.  She didn’t want it to end but knew it would soon so she savored these extra few moments as he slept and she traced his face to memorize it.  Then he awoke and was shortly gone after a kiss and to get ready for the day ahead.

She never regretted that night and would go back to it in her thoughts, especially as things changed drastically.  First ,two months later in October when she hadn’t gotten a reply to her letters she inquired and found out her dear Lord M had suffered a stroke.  He was lucky it wasn’t as harmful as first thought but he had lost a lot of the use in an arm and had trouble walking without a cane. She had been so frightened but relived he had lived, but he started to seem distant.

Then a few weeks later in November Victoria felt slightly ill and realized that she had missed her monthly time again.  Sir James confirmed what she suspected and she was with child again.  Albert was thrilled, as was everyone else including Victoria herself, even if a part of her wondered if maybe that night with Lord M might have created this child.  Then she realized she wouldn’t mind if this child was Lord M’s.  She made up her mind already her next daughter would be named Alice for him and what if this Alice was actually his.  There was no way to tell as she had been with Albert like normal but she found herself not caring either way.

As the months went on Victoria progressed in her pregnancy and Lord M recovered.  They didn’t write as much as usual but he was delighted about her pregnancy.  There was no trip to Brocket the following year but Lord M came to the palace to greet Victoria and the new Princess Alice shortly after her April 25th birth.

Albert was there at first and accepted Lord M’s congratulations.  Others had offered condolences which annoyed the new parents and thankfully Lord M said none of that.  He knew how much of a blessing a healthy child was regardless of gender.  Her husband too was fine with the name honoring Lord M and actually was glad to see the man had recovered from the stroke.  Even with things that had happened in their past Albert knew that he would never wish ill on anyone.  It made Victoria feel he was too good for her sometimes, but also that she chose well with how good of a father and husband he was to their children and her.

After Albert left the room Lord M sat opposite Victoria as she cradled Alice in her arms.  He looked on them lovingly.  “Both of you look so lovely.”

She felt herself blush.  “Thank you Lord M.  Alice is such a delightful baby.  Hasn’t been fussy at all unlike how Bertie was.”  They both laughed at that.  “How are you feeling?”

“Much better ma’am.  The arm does cause me trouble sometimes and I have to use this stick now.”  He gestured towards the cane resting beside the sofa.  “But much better to see the two of you.”

Victoria looked over at the door to much sure it was shut before she spoke again.  “I’ve missed you so much Lord M.  I’ve wanted to see you so badly but I knew it wouldn’t be right.”

He nodded and she could tell he looked so much older already and a part of her heart ached.  “I know ma’am.  I’ve miss you greatly too.  I’m very glad the birth went well.”

“They don’t really want me walking but I think it’s so silly.  Would you like to hold her?”  She asked.

“If you think it’s alright.  I might need help.”  He answered.

Victoria rose and gently placed Alice in Lord M’s good arm while she sat next to him.  Lord M’s face lit up as he spoke to the baby and told her she was named after him, and Alice seemed to smile back at him.  “She likes you Lord M just like her mama.”  Victoria then placed her hand on top of Lord M’s that was resting between them.

He looked at her.  “Do you know?”

Even though the question was vague she knew what he meant.  He was being careful in case someone was listening.  He was really asking if he was Alice’s father.  “I don’t.”

“It’s probably better that way.”  Lord M replied and then looked back at Alice.

Victoria spoke again in a whisper but so that he could hear her too.  “But I wouldn’t mind since I would always have a piece of you with me.”

He replied quietly, “I would like that too.”  His hand underneath hers turned and they interlocked fingers and shared a smile.  They both had a secret they would keep forever between them.  “You can come back to Brocket anytime.”

“I would like that too.”  Victoria repeated and that she would do even after Lord M was gone.  Her room stayed at Brocket Hall and she visited many times as her friendship grew with Emily and Palmerston became Prime Minister.  She took the children a few times too and Alice loved the rooks and the flowers in the glass house.  Victoria’s room still exists there to this day at Brocket Hall and anyone is allowed to see it.

They both then stared at Princess Alice wondering what her life would be like.  Even though it would be short and a bit tragic many things happened because of Alice.  Through her a granddaughter named Anastasia Romanov would come and caused many stories of her fictional escape that would become books, movies, and a Broadway musical.  While another great-grandson named Philp Mountbatten would come back to England and capture the heart of a princess name Elizabeth, and she would go on to be a great Queen of England herself with a long reign surpassing only that of Victoria’s.

[empresskira]

Longest Road

 MarcoAce  Part One (fanfiction here) Part of a oneshot I am doing (I have so many omg). Here is a taste~!

There had been something about Marco ever since the first time I met him. It was a cliché moment, from those sappy romantic movies that made you scoff at the scenes that would never happen. His dog, Stefan, had run to me and the owner was exasperated and apologized to me. It didn’t bother me as I loved dogs and after standing up straight to view the blond who had the leash—Stefan thought it to be a good idea to wrap around us, making us both startled and him cursing under his breath. It only made me laugh as we got out of our predicament and soon he apologized while Stefan gave me licks to my exposed calves. Again, I had told him it was fine and we went on our own ways. 

I thought I wouldn’t really see him again, but fate skewered that a few days later when I was at the café bringing my little brother his lunch since Sabo was too busy to bring it by. Luffy accepted it and I stayed with him before leaving when his lunch was over, and I saw Marco again. This time we had bumped into each other as I had gone around someone who suddenly got out of their chair. The blond had introduced himself this time and asked if I wanted to join him for coffee, as means to properly apologize about Stefan. I kind of blubbered in agreement, not sure what to say and we had coffee. 

After that was led into us going out more to the point I realized we were going on dates after he invited me to a nicer restaurant. When we were out, I had somewhat brought it up and he asked if I wanted to, which had me mentioning of not being in a relationship with a guy before. I felt a connection with Marco, so I didn’t think too much on it until now. So, it was very new to think this, but I wasn’t bothered by it like I was when Law offered one time. 

Marco showed an abundance of attention to me, which was different since I was the one used to doing that with girls. It was like my turn and I tried to return the same, which always ended up with him showing to enjoy it. We clicked correctly and I gave in more and more as he met my two brothers. He would come over to my place, living with my brothers but they weren’t always home as Sabo had Koala and Luffy had his friends. So, being alone a lot over some months had Marco and I adventuring more, but not too much as I needed to be able to trust Marco in this aspect. This was new and when I finally gave for the more intimate side, I had been a nervous wreck. 

Having sex with me being the one penetrated was completely different and I felt so weird. Marco was able to get me relaxed enough when uncomfortable and I had realized in that moment how passionate his blue eyes shined. It all felt right in that moment and I had let Marco have me fully. 

I made a mistake. 

The day after I had awoken groggy and found a written message saying he would message me later. That had been three weeks and it actually made me cry as I noticed my necklace gone as well. My necklace my mother gave me when younger to keep a hold of safely, never explaining why. Though, after I turned eighteen and received my father’s journal, it all made sense. All the moments I had slowly letting Marco in was a means to get closer to something related to my old man’s research. Which felt hard to believe that Marco would have been one of those people I had been warned about. 

I had never felt so betrayed in my life. 

Marco broke my heart into a mess of pieces and there was no way for me to pick them up fully. It was taunting, memories flaring in my head as I would try to gather myself. Six months of my life wasted because he just wanted something from me… That not being my love. Sabo had noticed after a week and after that he would try to distract me away from that. I tried not to cry around him, to show I was fine, but I wasn’t. 

I really wasn’t okay… 

Seeing that passion to suddenly being blindsided made me wonder why didn’t he just break into our house? If he knew of me having it, why did he bother with building me up? Why gain so much of something like trust and happiness to rip that away from me? It was like we went down one of the longest roads, just to go nowhere. 

I hate people.

[marvelsquicksilver]

Hi! Do you think you could write a oneshot about Pietro's s/o undergoing surgery (its non-threatening) and how he would feel after it and what he would do to make them more comfortable please? Thank you!

HIIIIIIIII, okay well you requested it and here it is. 

God I feel like it’s not that great, I really need to stop writing these when I’m running on like two hours of sleep. Nevertheless I hope this makes you somewhat happy! 

Pietro X reader

real fluffy 

A/N: basically she breaks her leg and Pietro is just the loving boyfriend that we all want him to be.

“Looks like it’s broken,” Helen said as shehanded back my x-ray.

“Dammit,” I sighed in defeat. “That’sanother week out of the team.”

“Well, you’re luckier than most people whohave to wait weeks for their breaks to heal.” She sat down to fill out what Icould only assume was my appointment slip.

“Yeah but!” I couldn’t think of a ‘but’—shewas right. We were lucky at HQ, our access to technology allowed us to heal andrecuperate much faster than an average person. “Actually you’re right.” I gaveup on arguing—I had nothing to complain about.

“I know I am,” she scoffed, “that’s why I’mthe physician.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” A knock on the doorinterrupted my thought process, preventing me from making what would usually bea very witty come back. “That’ll be speedy.”

“He’s picking you up?” She laughed as shewent to open the door.

“I know you haven’t felt love Cho, but thisis how it works.” I stuck my tongue out.

“Real mature,” she rolled her eyes beforeturning to greet Pietro. “Please collect your girlfriend, she’s extra moodytoday.”

Pietro let out a small chuckle, “well, shedoes have a broken leg.” He helped me up from my chair before handing me mycrutches. “Hi,” he whispered as he leaned forward to kiss my forehead.

“Hi,” I beamed as I wriggled the crutchunder my armpit.

“Her surgery is at 5,” Helen handed him theslip. “And (Y/N),” she stopped me just as before I could escape. “Make sure youactually stay in bed for your recovery time.”

“Oh don’t worry—“ Pietro answered for me, “I’llmake sure of that.”

“I hate you both.” I huffed as I struggledto hobble my way out the door—crutches were harder to operate than I’d firstthought.

“Do you want to get some food before we goback to our room?” Pietro asked as he shut the door behind him.

“That’s not even a question,” I felt like Iwas on the verge of starvation.

“For that,” he tutted, “we’re going to walkthe whole way.”

“Nooooooooo,” I groaned in frustration.“You like seeing me suffer don’t you?” I blew a strand of hair out of my faceas I struggled to keep up with him—he wasn’t even walking that fast, I was justtoo slow.

“No,” he slowed down, “I just like how cuteyou look when you flail around like that.”

“I’m mad at you.” I concluded. He stoppedwalking.

“What?” I asked when he turned to look atme.

“Give me those.” He held out his hand forme to pass him the crutches.

“What happened to watching me flail?” Iraised an eyebrow in question.

“If I wait for you to walk to the café withthese, you will not make it down to the lab in time to fix your leg.”

“Wow,” I scoffed “you’re really puttingyour new vocabulary to use.” I took a second to think about how far he’dprogressed language wise—I was low-key proud, but high-key upset because itmeant he was better at firing back.

“I know,” he scooped me up. “It’s allthanks to you.”

“I’m a great teacher, I take full creditfor it all.” I kissed his chin.

He looked down at me, “I thought you weremad.”

I stared straight ahead. “I am.”

He let out a small laugh, “I bet you are.”I knew he didn’t take me seriously—not even I took myself seriously.

–

“I’m not mad anymore.” I said as I shovedmy last fry into my mouth.

“I know,” he laughed as he leaned over thetable “I can tell.” He used the pad of his thumb to gently wipe away theketchup that I’d managed to get on the side of my mouth.

“I’m so clumsy.” I sighed. “How did I breakmy leg when I wasn’t even on a mission?”

“Hey,” he frowned “it happens to the bestof us. It’ll all be over in a week.”

“I know, but that’s one week where Icould’ve worked to prove myself.” I was trying my best to get on the first linesquad with him—but the harder I tried, the harder I fell. I wasn’t gettinganywhere—letters addressing promotions were set to come out in a week and Ialready knew I wasn’t getting one, not when I was set for a week of bed rest.

“I hate that you feel like this,” he sighed.“You don’t have to push yourself over the line. I’ve told you before, you’re awarrior—you can defend yourself better than I can.”

“I just hate feeling vulnerable. I alwayswant to be the best.” It was my biggest downfall, but also my greatest asset.It was engrained in me from a young age and I couldn’t just forget how to beme.

“You’re not vulnerable or weak,” hereassured me. “I watched you in your trials, you know you did well (Y/N).”

“I want to have a nap before I go intosurgery.” I stared down at the table, ignoring what he’d said. In my mind Ihadn’t done enough.

Pietro let out a heavy sigh. I knew he wasfrustrated, but I couldn’t agree with him. “Let’s go home.”

–

“Hey,” Pietro rubbed my hand as I slowlywoke up. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” I croaked as I took a second toadjust to the white light of the room. “Is it all fixed?” I asked as I stared downat my left leg.

“It’s all fixed.” He confirmed, “I broughtyou breakfast. You’ve been out like a lamp for 12 hours.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “it’s light.”I corrected.

“Huh?” He was confused.

“The saying is, out like a light not lamp.”

“Oh,” he frowned, “I guess I am not yetthat perfect.”

“You’re perfect enough for me.” I smiled,“now what’s in the bag?”

“Croissants, your favourite.” He handed methe paper bag as I sat up.

“Mmmmm,” I inhaled the scent “you reallyare the best boyfriend in the world.” He knew that the way to my heart wasthrough my stomach.

“I know.” He laughed as he watched me basicallyshove the buttery pastries down my throat. “Also if you could hurry up and eatthose, I really want to get back home so that I can cuddle you.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Istruggled to say, my mouth still full.

–

“Hey,” I murmured—still half asleep.“Aren’t you supposed to be assigned this week?” Waking up and seeing Pietrostill in bed was rare.

“I pulled a few strings,” he smiled as hebrushed a strand of hair away from my face. “Plus, I had to make sure you hadonly the best of company.”

“You didn’t have to,” I nuzzled into hischest as he wrapped his arm around me.

“I didn’t want to go anyway.” He was lyingand I knew it—he really was trying his best to make me feel better. I knew heloved working, in fact he was one of the biggest workaholics I knew—sometimeshe was worse than me.

“You’re so full of it.” I poked him in theribs. “You should go and talk to Tony—I’m sure he can still find yousomething.”

“(Y/N),” he sighed in defeat. “I don’t wantto go on a mission this week okay? I just want to sit here with my girlfriendand watch the Netflix.”

“You, Pietro Maximoff wants to sit insideand watch Netflix?” I couldn’t believe it. He was never the type to lazearound—it was all very new to me.

“Yes.” He didn’t even bat an eyelid—he wasbeing dead serious.

“Who are you and what have you done with myboyfriend?” I grabbed ahold of his cheek and pulled it around as if I weretrying to remove a mask. He let out a small laugh when I finally let go.

“I bought your favourite tea,” he rolledout of the bed and pulled on a shirt. “Give me 2 minutes and I’ll be back withit.”

“God,” I was stunned, “you really have thoughtof everything.”

“I mean I definitely tried to,” he ran hishand through his hair “I just want you to be comfortable.”

“Some days I don’t think you’re real.” Ihad gotten so lucky with him—he was everything I wanted and more.

“I’ll be right back, stay put.” He warned,as if I were going to run off to train in the two minutes he would be gone. “Ohand,” he popped his head back around the corner, “I’ll leave the door open,because I trust you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I called afterhim, knowing for a fact that he wouldn’t have been able to hear me.

“Knock, knock” An unfamiliar voice joltedme upright.

“Oh Jeeze,” I held my hand to my chest as Irushed to get out of my bed, “Captain Rogers! How are you?” I felt my heartrate pick up instantly—I knew exactly why he was at my door and it was makingmy stomach backflip like never before.

“Was that Pietro who just ran off?” Heasked, already knowing the answer.

“Well, I don’t know anyone else who can runthat fast,” I laughed nervously.

“You’re right,” he scoffed, “dumb question.Anyway. I just came to drop this off.” He held out the letter to me—the verysame letter that would either make or break me for the next year.

“Oh—“ I gulped down the rising lump in mythroat. “Thank you!”

He shot me a small smile, “nice seeing you(Y/N), I better get going—get well soon.” I didn’t even have time to thank himagain before he walked away.

I slowly slinked back inside the room,holing the envelope close to my chest. I was too scared to open it—I neededPietro to do it for me.

As if right on cue the cool breeze of himentering the room rushed past my face.

“One flask of cinna—hey!” he stoppedmid-sentence. “What’s up?”

“I—I—Steve just came to leave me this.” Iheld out the envelope for him to take.

“Oh,” he put the flask down and gingerlytook the letter from me.

“You need to open it,” I told him. “I can’tdo it myself.”

“Uh—“ he was hesitant, but he could see hownervous I was as well. “Okay.” He took a deep breath before ripping it open. Hescanned over it briefly—the whole time he read I was unable to decipher hisexpression.

“Well,” he said handing it back to me. “Iguess we can really relax for the rest of the week.”

“Huh?” I snatched it back quickly, “what doyou mean?”

“Read it my love,” he prompted.

I couldn’t believe my eyes as I scannedover the page.

‘Dear(Y/N),

 Weare very pleased to offer you a position with the first line Avengers. We valueyour skill set incredibly and believe you’d be a tremendous asset to our team.’

I couldn’t even finish reading it, I feltlike I was about to throw up. I’d done it—I’d actually done it.

“I—I can’t believe it.” I stammered.

“I can,” Pietro said before engulfing me ina hug. “I knew you’d get there. Welcome to the team.”

“You never doubted me.” My eyes werewelling up, “I love you so much.”

“And I love you more.” He placed a chastekiss to my lips, “now get back into bed. You need to be at full strength if youwant to make it through all that training again.”

“Hey,” I said as I walked over to the bed. “Youknow what would really help me build my stamina?” I sucked in my bottom lip ashe tried to figure out what I was hinting at.

When he finally realised, his eyes lit up. “Iguess I’m going to have to close the door.”

[lolainblue]

Wishing It Was You

Shannon Leto oneshot / Inspired by the K.Flay song “Wishing it was You”

Warning: Angst/Drunken Smut

The amber liquid no longer burned as it went down. Unfortunately, the only things that were becoming number were my taste buds and maybe, a little bit my face, but none of the feelings I was trying to drown. Certainly not the voice in my head that repeated his name over and over like an incantation, an arcane attempt to summon him to me, to make him finally see me, to make him mine.

As I watched him grinding against her on the dance floor, jealousy threatened to bubble over. I think this one's name was Siobhan, she was the third girlfriend I had watched him go through since meeting him, not even mentioning his hook ups and near misses. Of course, she was fucking perfect, drop dead gorgeous, toned and tanned just enough, dressed exactly on point, not a hair out of place even as she writhed against him. I didn't know her. She probably rescued puppies and orphans every day, pulling them from the debris of collapsed buildings while the wind blew her hair just so and her mascara never ran. I hated her.

I ordered another drink. The bartender gave me a long look. “I'm not driving I promise.” She continued to look at me for a minute then poured what was left of the bottle into a fresh glass. “Whoever he is he's not worth it,” she said as she cleared the empties away. I didn't reply, but I turned my back to the dancers, hoping if I quit staring at him my misery level would drop a notch or two. It did not. I stared into the whiskey and thought about how much it looked like Shannon's eyes when the light hit them. Fuck.

I was so deep in my own private hell I didn't realize the song had ended until I felt a strong pair of arms around my waist. Shannon's scent engulfed me as he swung me around with a laugh. “Why aren't you out there dancing Jelly Bean?” He slipped between me and the bar and took a sniff of my nearly empty glass. “How many of these have you polished off tonight? Am I going to have to pour you into a cab?”

I snatched the glass out of his hand. “You don't have to do anything. I can take care of myself. I'm not your damn kid sister.” I knew he was only trying to be his sweet, caring self but something in me had reached a breaking point. I saw the confusion on his face. I wanted to say more but then Siobhan was snuggling him and kissing his cheek and that angry little voice in my head turned into a scream and I couldn't stand there for one more minute. I grabbed my things and headed out of the party.

I had the car stop at the liquor store on the way home so I could buy a bottle of Jim Beam to keep me company on my wallow into self-pity. I had become a pathetic, lovesick mess, a complete cliché. I barely ate or slept anymore, my work was slipping, all I did was daydream about him. Sometimes I thought he felt something too, but he never treated me as anything other than a friend. “So glad I have you Jelly Bean,” he would tell me as he wrapped me one of his trademark Shannon bear hugs. Not that being his friend was a bad thing. He was a wonderful guy to have in your corner. I just wished it were enough.

Once inside my apartment, I cranked my favorite brooding playlist, kicked off my heels and headed to the kitchen to grab a glass before deciding to just open the damn bottle. I was about to unzip my dress when the doorbell rang. I figured it was the neighbors about the music. I was stunned to open the door and find Shannon on the other side of the threshold.

“Jelly Bean....”

“Stop calling me that.” I was In no mood for his infantilizing nicknames. I didn't need sweet, cuddly Shannon. I needed the Shannon of the wicked grins and dirty jokes. Mischievous Shannon. Shannon who might be willing to take a chance. Not big brother Shannon. I sighed. Abashedly, he started over.

“Juliet. I'm sorry to just barge in on you but you kind of had me worried back there. You've been so off lately.” His face filled with concern and something else I couldn't quite read. “Is everything okay with you?”

“And if it isn't?” I headed back towards the living room and the comfort of my whiskey. Shannon followed, closing the door softly behind him.

“I'm here if you need someone. I wish you'd talk to me.” I turned around to see him standing uncertainly in the hall. “Did I do something? You never talk to me anymore.”

I knew he was right. I had been pushing him away for a while now, desperately trying to gain some even footing while I watched him parade girl after girl past. He had been my confidante and now I was treating him like he had betrayed my trust when he hadn't done anything wrong. It wasn't his fault he didn't see me the way I saw him. I couldn't seem to stop lashing out tonight though. “Where is Siobhan? Is she waiting in the car while you come up here and soothe your conscience? Or did she head back to your place to warm your bed up for you?”

Shannon took a breath before responding. “Juliet, I don't know what's going on with you exactly, but...”

“Really? You really have no idea, Shannon? Not one clue?” I grabbed the bottle and started to take a swig but Shannon grabbed my hand. “Hey! Mine, not yours!”

“Please don't drink any more of that.” He took the bottle and sat it on the coffee table. I saw the troubled look on his face but I was so over his protective streak. I blundered on.

“Why? Why shouldn't I get as fucked up as I want to be? What's it to you anyway?” Instead of drowning my feelings the bourbon seemed to have stirred all my emotions up, loosening my tongue along with them. “Jesus, you just cannot stop, can you? You've made it perfectly clear at this point that I'm just your buddy to look out for. So hooray. You checked up on me. I'm fine. You did your duty. Go have your fun with this week's blonde.”

I could practically see the gears turning in his head, but I was wholly unprepared for what came next. “I'm asking you not to drink any more of that because if you get any more intoxicated I'm going to feel like I'm taking advantage of you,” he placed his warm, broad palm against my cheek, “and that's the last way I'd want this to start my Jelly Bean.” He brushed his lips against mine, the barest hint of a kiss. “Or am I completely off base here?”

Blood rushing in my ears, not daring to breathe, I shook my head. “What about Siobhan?”

Shannon smiled softly. “Probably still back at the party.”

“But she...”

“Is a woman I spend a lot of time with, sure. It's not more than that. Which you would know if you hadn't been shutting me out.” He brushed his lips over mine again, teasing. “Are you sure this is what you want Juliet? You won't sober up tomorrow and decide you've made a terrible mistake?”

“If I do it's my mistake to make,” I tried to sound bold and fearless but my voice was as shaky as I felt. The bourbon bravado had gone out of me. I couldn't believe I was finally in his arms. I couldn't believe he finally saw me as something other than a friend, that he seemed to want me in the same way I had been wanting him for so long. “It's not like I just decided this tonight. I've thought of this sober a hundred times.”

Shannon placed a soft kiss right below my hairline, then another slightly lower, and then a third on my cheekbone. “You only have to say stop. If you don't want this,” His voice was low and husky with need now as his calloused thumb traced my lips. “Please want this.”

Finally, he kissed me like he meant it, lips parting as his tongue pressed into me, searching, claiming, pushing me into a tumble of sensation as he pulled me against him. I was too stunned still to fully respond, afraid I was imaging all this or that he would come to his senses and realize where he was. Maybe I hadn't been kidding myself when I thought he felt it too.

“I thought that... that you didn't...” Somewhat foggy from the large quantities of whiskey I'd been consuming all evening, my brain struggled to catch up with this change of direction. “I thought I was just your buddy.”

“I'm sorry Jelly Bean.” Shannon continued, kissing my face. “I've been so unbelievably dense. I thought you were pushing me away because you figured out I wanted more.” He was kissing my neck now, small nibbles that traced their way up my jawline until I felt his warm breath at my ear. “And I want so much more.”

That was all it took. I finally gave myself permission to fall. Knotting my fingers into his hair I kissed him with everything in me, pouring into him every ounce of desire I had swallowed over the last year. He responded as voraciously, probing deeply with his tongue, pulling my lower lip into his mouth to nibble. It was still not enough. I had wanted for too long, and judging from his reaction, he had too. I slipped my hands under his shirt, my fingertips gliding over the firm muscles on his sides and felt him groan into my mouth in response. Shannon's hands had begun an exploration of their own, one palm sliding slowly over my breast as the other made it's way under the hem of my dress, teasing the flushed skin of my thigh. The need was overwhelming, a burning knot deep in my core that that radiated out to every nerve ending with each breath. Still, I was unprepared for the ferocious tug as he whispered breathlessly in my ear, “So Juliet, do you want to move this to the bedroom or am I just going to take you right here?”

We stumbled our way across the apartment never breaking contact, discarding articles of clothing as we went. By the time we had reached my bedroom my dress and bra were gone and Shannon was in nothing but an unzipped pair of jeans riding scandalously low on his hips. I hooked my fingers into their belt loops and fell back onto the bed, pulling him with me. His mouth claimed me again as soon as we struck the mattress, moving down my chest with tiny little licks and nibbles until it found a taut nipple. Whether an artifact of passion or alcohol, my vision blurred as I arched into his touch as if the lust was lighting the bourbon in my blood on fire, filling me with a heat that bubbled under his tongue and pooled in my sex.

With a soft moan, he moved his kisses lower, slipping away my panties so that he could anchor his mouth at my slick core. “My God, Jelly Bean, you do taste just like candy.” His rough hands pressed my thighs open, exposing my every secret as he bit his lower lip and grinned appreciatively. A broad stroke of his flattened tongue, a nibble that set goosebumps across my skin, agonizingly intense pressure as he sucked my hard nub into his mouth, everything blurred and collided as the pleasure claimed me, leaving me gasping his name. Still, months of want drew me further on.

I slipped from under him to come up to my knees and began removing his jeans. As I freed him from the fabric I couldn't resist trailing kisses down his firm stomach. When I finally brought my tongue against the underside of his broad shaft, I was rewarded with an appreciative groan. Voraciously I set upon him, laving and kneading with my tongue, feeling him thicken in response as he twisted his fingers into my hair. I looked up at Shannon as I worked. His eyes were heavy, the full lips I had so often dreamed of kissing were slightly parted, his powerful chest moving in time with his ragged breaths. I thought I had never seen anything more beautiful. I would have stayed on my knees like that for him for hours but he softly pulled me off of him. I started to protest but he stopped me with a quick kiss. “Fuck Juliet. As amazing as that felt, I am not ready to be done with you yet. And if you kept that up for one more minute I would have been.”

He turned away to rustle through the clothing we had discarded and I realized he was retrieving a condom. I watched as he palmed himself for a few before rolling on the protective sheath. Then he was quickly on me again, settling his hips over mine as he stretched me out beneath him. Shifting against him so that his impressive cock pressed firmly against my own engorged and aching sex I ground against him, completely undone by my own profound craving for him.

“Please Shannon,” I panted into his ear, “please. Now. I want you so much. Please.”

He crashed his mouth against mine, a bruising kiss that stole that last of my thoughts. I attempted to reach for him but he pinned my wrists at my head. Caught in his powerful grip all I could do was wrap my legs around him, writhing as his length slid teasingly against my soaking folds. My body pleaded. Shannon looked down on me with that fiendish smirk of his, clearly enjoying my torment. I could see the keen desire in his own eyes though and I knew that whatever game he was playing now, it wouldn't be long before he would have to give in to his own appetite. I closed my eyes, sliding my body beneath him, and concentrated on the sensations – the firm press of his grip as he shifted my wrists to a single hand, his fingertips as they trailed down the tender underside of my arm, the heavy press of his firm abdomen, the brush of his broad chest against the hardened buds of my nipples, the tiny shocks from his touch that seemed to settle directly behind my clit, the powerful muscles of his thighs, pulled taught as he anchored me where he wanted me no matter how greedily I strained for him. I opened my eyes again to see the smirk was gone, a dark need in its place.

“Please...”

Shannon lowered his head to me again but instead of the kiss, I was expecting I was met with the sharp bite of his teeth sinking into the tender curve of my neck. Crying out, I arched sharply into him only to impale myself onto his waiting shaft. I gave a hungry mewl of surprise. Shannon's large hands slid rapidly to my hips, steadying them in place as he surged forward. I found myself trembling as my body struggled to accommodate the sudden onslaught. He didn't spare me a minute to adjust, withdrawing and then diving in again. He was clearly going to waste no time in claiming what was finally his. If only I had known. We had both been so blind. Had wasted who knows how much time. I wrapped my limbs around him, pulling him into me as he continued his feverish pace. The sheer brutal strength of his passion left me in awe. I drew whatever bits of flesh I could reach into my mouth, covering him in kisses, reveling in the salty taste of his skin on my tongue. A graze of my teeth on his shoulder elicited a moan from him that vibrated my every nerve. I had never wanted anyone the way I wanted him. Each brush of his lips, each sigh, each groan, every touch, every thrust fueled rather than satiated. I was in a reverie. Need, lust, desire, these had all become molten things, surging through my veins and pushing me up and up until I shattered completely, my center convulsing tightly around him as I shouted his name.

“Juliet...” Shannon purred my name as he lurched forward. I felt him swell as his own release rushed upon him, his hazel eyes closing as he spilled into the thin sheath encasing him, a soft string of swear words stumbling from his lips. We gripped each other tightly as we finally stilled. As reality started edging back in, I felt a moment of panic that he would bolt, that he hadn't really wanted this the way I had, that maybe I was just another hookup. When Shannon moved away from me to leave the bed I felt tears starting to form behind my eyes and rolled over, turning my back to him. But he quickly returned, pressing into the curve of my back, his arm crossing my chest to pull me against him. Placing small kisses along my color bone, he nuzzled against me softly before settling in with a sigh.

“My Jelly Bean.”

I relaxed into him. “I always have been.