#i fucking love welt omg

[junii-moony]

WELT IS THAT FUCKING GUY HOLY SHIT

[auspicioustidings]

the graves gift thought you wrote dear god !!!

sweet doll finally getting what she’s been begging for from price and spending every moment after latched to his side. even when the rest of the boys chastise him for breaking but even then all she does is smile and ask if she can help with their frustrations at all?

i think gaz is honestly the next to break. he can’t take it. if price let their doll in then it must be okay and when she starts mouthing at his cock through his trousers (again that day) he can’t take it anymore. gets her up onto the couch in the red room with him and gets her settled on his cock, circled into his chest and sighs with relief at how good she feels. doesn’t even care about soap and ghost shaking their heads at him because he’s got everything he needs.

price, when he sees it, gives Gaz a nod of approval and doll just giggles because it makes Gaz twitch inside her.

GAZ TWICTHING INSIDE OF HER BECAUSE HE'S GETTING PRICE'S APPROVAL IS SO GOOD OMG

I do love how much it fucks up the team when some of them have given in but some haven't. Poor Soap is all over the place because surely his Captain and his fellow Saergant aren't bad men. He cannot think of them as bad men. And it's not like she's hurt or crying about what they're doing to her, she's happy about it. She's so deliriously happy to be used by them, to adopt whatever personality they want from her. Gaz's little dolly and Price's little wife.

And he just... fuck he's so frustrated. He wants her for himself. He wants to let her be his toy. He wants to fucking drown himself in her cunt and play with her until she's so exhausted she passes out and then he wants to play with her some more while she's asleep.

He is so ashamed of how he uses the image of it to get himself off. He is horrified when he pushes her away too hard when she was only putting a gentle hand to his forearm and she goes crashing to the floor. Even then she still smiles up at him, asks if he'd like to hit her again. It's sick.

I think he'd be the last hold out. He almost gets to her y'know, is so sure there is something behind her eyes of the girl she once was. But Ghost ruins it when he snaps and ruins her. And when Soap sees all that purpling skin, all those bites and scratches and welts... he just has to get his tongue on them, lap up that pain and turn it into pleasure.

He tells himself he's only doing it to make her feel better, that he's not a bad man. Pretty hard sell when he's buried in her puffy, swollen pussy that's been so abused that it's too tender to give her anything but pain. She's smiling at him even when she's crying.

He's not a bad man, although one could argue a good one wouldn't have ignored it when she whispered her name, her real name, and asked if she could go home.

[whyareyouhere66]

Omg wait I love JJ he deserves more recognition I swear- So I have request for him! <3

Friends to lovers JJ Maybank x male reader with JJ getting into a fight and reader patching him up and ends up kissing his wounds better.

(I just want to pepper his face in kisses he’s so pretty 😔)

You and me are so the same because it’s just the small soft moments- oml the small soft moments with this man

JJ Maybank x male reader - Kiss It Better 

CW: suggested violence, cuts/bruises (vague) JJ is shirtless (not in the suggestive way it’s mentioned like twice) I don’t know if you wanted a big kiss with this too but hey why not it’s cute

x

It was the middle of the afternoon when he showed up, bruising and bleeding at your front door. 

Some random Tuesday afternoon, you were home alone with the tv playing and a freshly empty plate sitting on your lap, when he knocked on your door.

“Coming, coming.” You mumbled, the knocks had continued with a sort of anxiousness behind them. It wasn’t until you did open the door that you understood why.

“Hey- woah.” JJ stood at your doorstep, with puffy eyes and scars littering his skin. Immediately, your eyes widened, and you ushered him inside.

“What happened, J? Are you alright-?” You rushed to ask, leading him to the couch where he stumbled to the cushion.

“Fight, kook, it was bad.” Is all he said in summary, leaning into the comfortable back rest and slouching. While his eyes closed, looking busted as fuck on your couch, you looked over the various welts and scars across his face.

“Looks pretty bad…” you mumbled, eyes jumping from the small bump on his forehead to the purple bruise on his cheek.

“Yeah, alright, bathroom.” 

Which is how you winded up with an injured, shirtless, JJ Maybank sitting on your bathroom counter, back to the mirror, watching with a raised eyebrow as you sorted through the first aid kit that had been tucked into the cabinets. 

“How many bandaids can a person have…” he mumbled, head rolled to the side and leaned against the mirrors surface. 

“Depends how many cuts there are,” You nodded at the red mark running across JJ’s thumb, “hand please.”

The blonde complied without any protest, watching with faint interest while you gently spread the bandaid across his roughed up skin. You don’t let go of his hand, either, instead turning to the red that stained JJ’s knuckles and examining them closely.

“I’m gonna need the Neosporin for this.” At that, JJ groaned. 

“I know, so horrible.” You remarked sarcastically, almost smiling at your friend as you uncapped the small yellow tube, bringing it close to the scars strewn across JJ’s hand. “Stay still.” 

“It stings like a bitch.”

“I can’t imagine the fight was much better.” 

JJ shifted, repositioning himself on the smooth counter and trying to ignore the burning sensation that came from the medicine. 

“Is there not any other way-“ with a sigh, you set down the tube. 

“What, you need someone to kiss it better?” You asked in a teasing voice. 

JJ shifted around again, his thighs brushed against your hips. 

“Well…”

You paused, and looked at him for a moment. 

His voice wasn’t teasing, like it would be normally- instead, it had sounded almost bashful.

Oh.

He didn’t look at you, so you took the opportunity and gently lifted his hand to your mouth. It seemed to have startled him a bit, feeling your lips agains this knuckles- but soon butterflies followed, for he made direct eye contact with you as you did it.

Each knuckle, one by one, got a small kiss to the sensitive skin. Then, one on the bandaid covering his thumb, before you moved to the next hand.

He watched, eyes glossed over with something he wasn’t even sure he could name, and savored the feeling. 

But then, you’d gotten each scar and bruise on his hand. A quick glance down or his torso, blood rushed to your cheeks.

“I’m not getting those ones.” You said, though your hands betrayed you when they settled on his hips. 

His mouth was still slightly agape, his mind left behind to when your mouth was on his hand, like some sort of prince.

“You missed my face.” He blurted out, before he could even think. Both of you quickly became hot in the face. 

Tension grew thick in the confines of your bathroom walls, your waist still tucked comfortably in between his legs. 

He stared at you, waiting. 

Slowly, with a hitched breath, you leaned in until your lips brushed the tender skin across his cheek. And you let your lips rest there, just for a moment, pulling away only an inch or so because any further and you’d still be sucked back into his warmth. 

JJ felt small tingles across his cheek, you had been so close to his face. 

He felt as your lips drifted, ghosting over his skin as to meet another scar- this time the long one tracing his cheekbone. JJ’s eyes fluttered shut, internally building up his courage. 

‘Do it, now, damn it-‘

Before you could lean closer and give that cut the same treatment as the other, JJ ducked his head down and pulled your face the opposite direction- to his lips. 

A bit chapped, but still smooth and oh so addictive, his lips caught yours and quickly pulled you to him indefinitely.

Your eyes widened, suddenly being surrounded by his everything, his warmth, his touch. It didn’t take you longer than a few seconds before you leaned into it. 

Your right hand drifted from his thigh to the dip of his hipbone, dancing around the sore bruise in your way- you fit into each other so perfectly. 

At first, he’d pulled away after a few seconds or so. “Shit, I’m sor-“

But you pulled him right back, you’d waited so long, you can’t let it end now. And it was so soft, sweet- you didn’t want to let go yet.

By the time you both pulled away, you’d gotten so close that you couldn’t move more than an inch or two from his face, while you caught your breath. 

“Feel any better?” You asked, after a minute. He grinned, and it spread right back to you. 

“Much.”

A small hum, and your hand rested on his cheek. You pecked the remaining cuts along his face- his nose, his forehead, cheekbone- the kiss giving you a burst of courage to let yourself linger on his skin longer.

“Good.”

[tra1nchi]

not a request!

omg PREMATURE EJAC WELT 🤧🤧🤧🤧

This is gonna be a short little ramble wjrmskd

but like oh my aeons AAAAAAAAAAA PRE EJAC WELT?2?2(4?#?£??

fucking him with a flesh light and he cums within like 2 thrusts . Forcing (with safeword and consent, I'm not like that ◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ♡) him to wear a cock ring while literally destroying his back ......., making him beg to cum....

omg imagine tasking him to not cum until reader does and he's struggling to hold on, biting his upper lip, quivering with every thrust.....

imagine that with vidyadhara reader oh my god-

- 🕳️anon

I literally cannot I love old men and how you wrote this im going to faint forehead kiss cheek kiss everything 🙇‍♂️

[herzlak]

Tatort Dortmund: Cash (REWATCH)

second time trauma :)

one thing about jan is, dass er in jeder szene entweder aussieht als würd er gleich heulen oder als wär er auf drogen

okay stopp hatte der fussballer n pride schweissband?

JA OMG! here's to tortmund's gay hint tradition

"was du heute kannst entsorgen" und dann cut to jan pawlak is my favourite thing about cash

triggert mich so hart, dass jan rosas anruf wegdrückt... like girl, du hast echt NICHTS aus liebe mich gelernt

dieser kleine ktuler mit der "ich hab schon ganze zwei neue neue deutsche welle songs geschrieben" frisur ist scho cute

"ach??" "wirklich???" "wir gehen!!!!" ROSA I LOVE YOU

to quote my bestie "jan ist wie so n nerviges kleines kind, dass dich dauernd fragt, ob du spiele auf deim handy hast"

finds so lustig, dass ihnen nach drei jahren mal wieder eingefallen ist, dass rosa ja mikromimik lesen kann

"aufmachen! polizei!" HALT DEIN MAUL JAN DU UNLUSTIGER SAFTSACK

NIEMAND würd dich vermissen!!! *proceeds to miss jan very much*

"und noch n zwanni fürn automaten" OH MEIN GOTT SEI EINFACH LEISE

der macht mich so aggressiv der pawlak

okay aber als ob jan so ne musik hört

für mich hört der mac miller und ekkstacy

schatzi, der jan greift dauernd leute tätlich an, der hat nora geschubst, der hat ella und rosa und auch dich am arm gepackt

"fick dich" lol king

fabers ermittlungstaktik isses einfach seine enemies anzuschwulen

"was ich privat mache" als wär seine arbeit nur so n hobby nebenbei junge

counting "pferderennen" as masken reference

spuckt der auch noch aufn boden ey

wollnsiemichverarschenoderwas?!?!

allein wegen jan gibt's jetzt immer klare sprache version vom tatort

ok "aber an mir lässt sies aus" hab ich definitiv überhört letztes mal

"können wir nich abhauen?" auch

wenn jan zumindest körperlich anwesend wär

wieso isn rosas pinker textmarker eigentlich in jan stiftehalter?

mir egal was die enraged boomers sagen, ich finds ganz toll, dass rosa gendert

und, dass faber es versucht lol

so süß wie sie in der ecke steht und sich die nase reibt like "hihi :)"

ich hab rosa einfach so lieb, es is unreal

missed opportunity, dass rosa und faber sich nicht den ball zugepasst haben

sevilla, digga.

counting the "hey" as heile welt ref-

"meister :D"

"was sachste?" "was sachter?"

"den ess ich noch" FABER I LOVE YOU

ich LIEBE diese parallelen bei den verhören im dortmund tatort, die sagen immer irgendwas, was man auch aufs ermittlerteam beziehen kann

ey rosas erste frage ist "hast du was mit der?" UND DANN BIN ICH VERRÜCKT, WENN ICH HERZLAK SHIPPE?

dieses lila colour grading in der szene........

now kiss!

was soll denn jan für überstunden abfeiern??

drehbuch so: *rosa relieved "endlich isser weg" exhale*, dann *rosa ptsd "fuck ich werd wieder verlassen" exhale*

finds ganz wundervoll, wie oft wir in cash rosas dutt von hinten sehen

important fact: rosa ist irgendwann nach liebe mich umgezogen

faber einfach die therapeuten pipeline hingelegt

macht mich soo glücklich wie rosa da so sau wütend auf das auto einschlägt :>

verständlich, dass das steffi liebste szene war

"ich teil halt gern mit meinen freunden" mhm

okay wait, ist des das zweite mal, dass jan sich blöd verplappert hat und deshalb noch wer ermordet wird? zorn parallel?

cash ist echt ne einzige parallele, i love it

"turteltäubchen" AND THEN YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO SHIP THEM-

faber so: get in line, ich hab schon viele leute wütend gemacht

rosa ist so richtig schön zickig in cash, ich liebs so sehr

bin immer noch der meinung, dass jan trotzdem abgerutscht ist und das nicht alles gespielt war

seriously, guckt ihn an, der lappen kann niemals so gut schauspielern

"frau dingenskirchen" <3

"wir sind immer noch ein team" rosa, nein :/

funfact: rosas sweatshirtjacke ist die von jan aus tollwut, sie hatse nur versehentlich zur grünen wäsche

(funfact: der funfact war gelogen)

hol den baseball schläger, fabermaus!

nimm den baseball schläger mit, rosamaus!!!

dünnes eis, iramaus

die is so kackendreist die frau

"weinen hilft nicht" doch???

hachhh jan mit rosas armband <3

andere seniorinnen häkeln oder machen kreuzworträtsel, britta zeigt wöchentlich ihren schwiegersohn an

"wenn du hilfe brauchst, dann..." :(

tut schon weh, wie lieb jan sie anlächelt

alles an dieser szene tut weh tbh

steffi und rick spielen einfach zu gut :<

rosa sieht aus als hätt sie die halbe nacht geheult :|

sie guckt so süß aawwww!! :3

okay graf tot, abakay eingekastelt, wen soll faber jetzt anschwulen?

die tatsache, dass die klasnic ihren kaffee mit deM STIEL VON NER GABEL UMRÜHRT

dass jan n armband von rosa dabei hat, bedeutet mir scho so n bissl die welt <3

gps. hat sie gesehen. mädel, du wirst auch noch kommissarin

honestly, ich will in fünfzehn jahren jana giesel irgendwo als lead role im tatort sehen, die spielt jetzt schon so toll

HALT DIE FRESSE MIT SEVILLA JAN DU DISAPPOINTMENT AUF ZWEI BEINEN

ich hoffe er kriegt fett sonnenbrand der elende vampir

und ich hoffe, er kommt irgendwann wieder zurück für die allerletzte folge :(((

nächste folge wissen wir dann nicht, wen wir zuerst mitm baseball schläger kloppen - die klasnic, matuschek, haller oder die bütow

(am besten alle, weil gewalt ist therapeutisch wie wir gelernt haben)

[olgalenski]

Polizeiruf Rostock - Nur Gespenster

ich bin absolut bereit und überhaupt nich aaaaahh es wird super

joooa... gut. das ist äh n anfang

KATRIN HI

seit wann klingt pöschi so alt? war das letzte Folge auch so? bin ich verwirrt, weil ich letztens die eine Folge aus 2014 gesehen hab? (ws einfach 9 jahre her is wtf)

melly was

thiesler ist immer noch mit vivien zusammen alright

meine güte thiesler

mellys gesichtsadrücke sind immer so lustig ich liebs.

naja ins wort gefallen is sie dir ja nich wirklich. ihr habt einfach gleochzeitig angefangen zu reden und sie war schneller. also klar hätte sie mal achten können dass du was sagen willst aber ich würde jetzt nicht sagen sie ist dir ins wort gefallen naja

es hat schon was mit ihm zu tun. also like 2 frauen an der spitze find ich gut. aber dann hats halt was mit ihm zu tun

und ja thiesler vielleicht hast du recht aber jetzt komm mal klar. wenns dich so sehr stört kündige halt oder lass dich versetzen

warum steckst du ihr sowas in den briefkasten? like ich weiß dass du ihr vater bist und so aber hallo? schreib halt n actual brief??????

:((((

khdfkghägfk seit wann trägt sie ne brille? seh ich die öfter? bitte lass mich sie öfter sehen

melly sag das doch nich so omg gjbsfäjhsagjsvbg hgöj

ja weiß nicht vllt aus dem selben grund aus dem sie vor 15 jahren verschwunden ist. kp ob wir den kennen aber weißt

was sagt er nich?

jetz kann er wieder lachen is ja klar einmal n lob bekommen welt is wieder heile

wollte sie jetzt nach amsterdam oder nach barcelona? ODER hat sie unterschiedlichen leuten was unterschiedliches gesagt?

mein dude verfolg sie halt nich und steck ihr was in breifkaste. like schreib halt n brief wenn du eh weißt wo sie wohnt hab ich schonmal gesagt aber come on

T_T KATRIN MY LOVE jemand muss sie umarmen es is doch scheiße ey

ich war grad okay damit dass sascha weg is und alles was ich denken kann is, dass er da sein soll wenns ihr scheiße geht man. er is doch der einzige der von ihrer vergangenheit weiß T_T

wild dass mein geburtsjahr auf dem grabstein steht

okay thiesler doch keine heile welt oder was? wenn sie dich lobt is alles cool aber sonst nicht oder wie?

hmmmmm i don't like this.

heheheh melly

tja thiesler doof für dich jetzt

"Huch" ja das is auf jeden fall die passende reaktion auf so ne info

zum glück stören spinnen mich erst aber ner gewissen größe

ahhhh fuck

finde es sehr gut dass sie sprachnachrichten verschicken, dann muss ich mich über diese fake UI von den textnchrichten aufregen, die nie vorherige nachrichten haben.

SIE ERZÄHLT ES MELLY HALLO

ich liebe die vibes zwischen melly und katrin okay

uff

hat er sie einfach am strand vergraben????

go off katrin

yo what the fuck

aaaaahhhhhhhhhh

[madraleen]

Kamigami no Asobi An Unexpectedly Enthusiastic Commentary

-at this point i'm watching anime for their VAs, and that's not a good way to find my next obsession -.- but maybe it's a good way to watch things i usually would not. this one, based on the synopsis alone? i probably wouldn't touch it.

-it's really visually pretty, in a soft way

-it's the VAs singing the theme songs, isn't it? that's cute. that's so cute

-AHAHAHA "DEE-DEE" AHAHAHA

-waaaait... i think i like this...

-"BAL BAL" AHAHAHA bless apollon for these pet names omg

-i hope they'll show wth all these deities were doing before the academy

-"loki-loki," "tsuki-tsuki" asfhdfsd

-it's really hard to not pump your fist like "YEAH!!! LET'S DO IT!!" when apollon gets all worked up and decisive

-who is doing the highest voice in the op song, i need to know.

-i can't decide if this is a gem or a guilty pleasure, but i kinda love it. it's charming!

-STOP, TAKE-TAKE DID NOTHING WRONG, HE WAS JUST SAVING YUI!

-FINALLY SOME DEITY BACKSTORY!

-strong like a weed, ahahaha, yui isn't beating the weed allegations

-HADES IS HIDING RICE CAKES IN HIS BAG

-do you know how many times i've checked and double-checked and triple-checked that loki is indeed voiced by yoshimasa hosoya. HOW? coming from kunikida and reiner and welt etc, HOW!

-i have been informed by the internet that the voice i call "the highest voice" in the songs is hiroshi kamiya's, and if so, you know what, it tracks. of course it's hiroshi kamiya, is there anything this man can't do, i don't think so.

-low-key obsessed with this, ngl

-they're all so endearingly ridiculous

-jeez, balder has even less chill than apollon somehow

-BABY LOKI TEETHIES

-balder, imma need you to take a chill pill right the fuck now

-loki is... loki is... i like him :')

-oh good, balder is apologizing. GOOD.

-LOKI WILL DO WHAT NOW? WHAT DO YOU MEAN KILL BALDER

-IS THAT AN APOLLON BACKSTORY??? SIGN ME TF UP!

-may i suggest a season 2, "kamigami no therapy"?

-oh shut up, i love apollon's ep.

-AHAHA THOR PLAYING A TREEEEE

-there's sth in the acting and angles that makes "cinderella" actually feel like a school play, that's amazing.

-"holding the impractical shoe that miraculously hadn't broken, the moron cried pitifully." if i didn't love the anime already, i'd start loving it just for that.

-"Ahoron," ne

-AHAHAHA thor and loki in their god forms. cool

-HOLY SHIT apollon's god form!! now THAT'S a transformation

-the way take-take practically screeches at loki to believe in him/them ties so well with his backstory

-GEE, PAUSE FOR A SEC, LET US TAKE IN THE GOD FORMS!

-apollon-san though. yo.

-daaamn, it's cool when the gods fight

-man, i was gonna say this is such a harsh ending, but nooo, the gods are back, it's sweet!!

-damn. damn, i genuinely didn't think i'd like this, but i love it. it's so entertaining and light, and with just enough conflict/angst to have a little depth without being traumatizing. the action scenes were cool, and some things are ridiculous but in a funny/endearing way. i wish we'd gotten everyone's backstories, but oh well! i'm so glad i watched it!

[quandaryqueen]

Any riddler's

W a close friend who constantly does or almost does something stupid

Close friend definitely has hearing problems from how many times they misheard stuff like

"Go carts?" "..." "..." "...I said vocals." "oh"

Forgets stuff, like, there was this one time where they were searching for their phone using their phone's flashlight

"Have I told you this before?" Yes they have, about 5 times or maybe more in fact, they're veryyy forgetful

BUT despite that they're tremendously smart in different areas, just incredibly forgetful at times which is most of the time

In my defense, it's been three days since I slept

Batman Unburied Edward Nygma X Reader

A platonic piece! I love writing for them omg thank you for this request! This following piece is inspired by things that happened to me so, now you have an idea how stupid this bitch can be.

💚 He loves you, oh he loves you... But seeing you somehow trip on your own feet and somehow land in a canal made him undergo an asthma attack from laughing too hard. After getting his inhaler, he might just grab your hand and pull you out of it (after wiping it with a towel and spraying a hefty amount of sanitizer).

Then you somehow slip and fall back again. He laughs again, almost kills himself in the process, recovers, then helps you back again.

That's it. That's the relationship in a nutshell. And boy, does he always laugh when he's with you.

💚 And it never gets old, fucking hell you find ways in how to be so damn unpredictable when it comes to these things. Sometimes you'd be as agile as a cat, but sometimes you would be so damn clumsy... Like a cat. Huh, two sides of the same coin.

It's fun to watch you, he knows when to laugh and when not to, as he's been friends with you for so long. There are times the laughing was a mere instinct in the midst of a tumultuous moment upon attempting to register what he just saw or to at least alleviate tensions... Sometimes that laughter takes a few minutes as he replays what he had saw.

💚 But in his defense! He always helps you up... And lets out a snicker. And will later remind you of said events and watch embarrassment flood your features upon recalling it, then your mind starts to drift back to the faces of strangers looking at you weirdly for tripping at nothing.

It's top tier entertainment for Edward. He's a good friend, I swear

"Remember that time you walked into a glass door?"

"Not now, Ed," You wince when he brought it up, remembering how you burned under the scrutiny of onlookers. Not to mention, it left a nasty welt and a bruise to be reminded of it.

"Then when you to find the door, you ended up walking through another glass?"

"FUCK OFF!"

💚 Anyways, not only that, as your mind tends to run during the day and what came of it, were random blurts of words Edward finds absolute golden.

What the fuck was running in your mind that you'd pause in the middle of a task, stare off into the void and let your thoughts run... Edward interrupts your train of thought with a randomness of his own, resulting you to say the most random threads of questionable, yet entertaining semantics.

💚 Here's a little example:

Of course, you were once again staring into space and Edward saw the perfect opportunity to make you jump out of your wits. Your back was turned against him, it was perfect for him to catch you off guard.

Light as a feather, he takes gentle steps as to not disrupt you of your daydream yet. His hands were held out with malicious intent, and slowly, he closes in on you...

"BAH!" he exclaims, hands grasping your shoulder.

"AH 'XPLODING PUSSIES!"

... he does not have an inkling of idea of what you were thinking about, but god continue being such an intriguing little klutz.

💚 Mishearing things are a common occurrence if you're as dumbly deep in day dream as me. Here's an example:

There was a celebration of sorts hosted by Penguin, Edward recalls making you tag along because, according to him, would help ward off people with romantic intentions, hoping the sight of you by his side without confirming anything would successfully dismay them. Edward did not mention the fact that he can't stand some of the guests there and with you being there makes it more bearable.

You didn't mind, you yourself attended the event with personal intention... Namely, the cute performer by the name of Darius Chapel performing in the Iceberg Lounge that night. The darling of the crowd himself.

Well, you were dressed to the nine's, even garnering Edward's approval... Meaning, he was less critical about your fashion choices but I digress— you looked so fucking bomb.

You were seated at a table with Edward, along with a few guests. The most important man, Oswald Cobblepot, just seated beside you. Eventually, Darius came to join the table after performing and you were a sight to behold, giggling like a little school girl with their school girl crush and school girl daze and school girl day dream.

"Another great year. I propose a toast!" One of the guest raises their glass.

"Cheers!"

In your simping head, make up an appearance, you suddenly sat up from your seat, which had everyone in the table glance at you with furrowed brows. They watch you step away from your seat and walk away. All glanced at Edward, who was only as confused as they were when you returned to the table carrying a stack of monoblock chairs.

"What are those?" Edward questions.

"Chairs."

A short laugh was pulled from his throat before he can even respond. "Honey, he said 'cheers' not chairs."

... No one has let you live it down.

💚 When he laughs with you during your little accidents, there's still the underlying sense of concern he has for you. He hopes you know he cares, even after he is laughing up a storm that he triggers an asthma attack.

So after you trioo for the umpteenth time, it's expected he laughs, helps you to your feet, and does the 'lovingly calls you an idiot while patching you up' kind of thing, even throwing in reassurances... Or his way of reassurances.

"I am so dumb, oh my god. What the fuck did I tripped on? Nothing!"

"Oh don't worry. No one saw you this time, I promise!"

"That doesn't even make it less worse!"

💚 This Edward is less of an elitist in terms of intelligence compaired to his other counterparts, he is more understanding about how some people are more intelligent in their ways. He also does not go out of his way to make others feel bad and put himself on a pedestal because of it.

Because of your nature to trip over nothing and stare into space and lost in your train of thoughts, others have tendancies to call you names... Which Edward fucking hated, because he knows you're more than the stumbling idiot everyone assume you as.

I firmly believe that he would be that friend that will subtly set up a scene that he knows you'll fucking dominate. So he'll put up a riddle he knows you can answer and watch in satisfaction as the others jaws drop at the sight of you answering that riddle without a second thought, and being fucking correct.

💚 In the end, he loves you because you make him laugh.

[des-no9]

Your fic is the only thing that is getting me through my fic and this paragraph-

“If you think I will leave her side again after that first time,” slides his palms over Orpheus’ mouth, sees the satisfaction of the pressure, cover, “only for Vlaakith to take her from me,” (like you like she did with me) touches the faded welts left behind of his muzzle, his shackles, “then maybe you do have to learn me all over again, t’var.

- is making me fucking feral.

Omg 🥹😭💜💜 I can't tell you how much joy this message brought me. Thank you SO much honestly. I'm so happy you enjoyed that fic. It filled a delightful little niche I'd been wanting explore for a while.

Thank you so SO much again 💜💜💜 I loved that bit especially. It felt very like...Voss cementing the reality of how much he feels for both of them to Orpheus. I'm so fond of that fic. Happy writing, lovely. I hope it's going well!!!!

[tablefourtyone]

I love the Nagazora arc and the way it all played out, and how well it worked out for KiaMei at the very end of part 1. In a crack nutshell:

Kewvin: Kiana's part of my Kaslana legacy full of musclebrains that could easily bring back the Leeroy Jenkins meme if they weren't naturally talented at clobbering Honkai dead with a baseball bat. Also cores are bad, you should do something about that, I TOTALLY can't do anything about them, just don't clarify that with your crippled friend and her gundam weeaboo mentor.

Mey: OMG MY POOR KIANA CHAN 😭😭😭

Kerbin: Come join the Dark Side, I have tons of subscribers and Elysia

May: I'll think about it one minute passes I'll do it

Einstein: Wait a second. You're letting your relationship with Kiana define 99% of your existence and agency in the narrative which loves to write you like this for some brainless reason. Wallowing in misery is turning you into a two-dimensional angstlord. Let me help you. I want to save Kiana's life.

Tesla: Me two

Aunty Teri: She has other people in her life plus a family that cares for her safety and wellbeing, in case you and the writers forgot. You're not exactly alone in your grief here.

Bronya: I exist and I also care, and I fought that Kewpie guy with Mr. Welt so I know if he's BSing you about not being able to yank out Kiana's cores himself or not.

Mee: everybody stfu it's my arc and my wangsty opera solo about my skill issues, only me myself and i and what kiana means to me matter, nothing and nobody else matters! nobody understands her better than me, we're endgame herrscher soulmates that can erase everyone if we want to and i'm pretty sure we did in a bad ending but whatever, it's me and her against this cold cruel world that suffers wangsty fools like us, baby!

Kanai: Nope, I've got realistic problems and emotions to deal with atm. G'bye moesenpai sorry not sorry

Meo: chases kiana and fights to the music of codependency

Thunderhead: hey. hey kid. you want edgey battlesuit?

Meh: i tried so haaaaard and come so faaaaar and in the end I had to be a Herrscherrrr

Kania: Meansenpai wai the 180 hostility and violence and resting honkai diva bitchface T_T

RaidenMeiThunderthighs: I'M NOT SAYING BECAUSE GO FUCK YOURSELF. KICKING AND BEATING YOU IN THE FACE AND TELLING THE AUDIENCE THAT I'M DOING IT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU ISN'T CRINGE. SEE YOU IN SIX MONTHS, STAY PRETTY AND REGRESSIVELY STUPID FOR ME

People who neither play GGZ nor ship them: This fight is horribly written, and caters specifically to the GGZ crowd.

[celiastjamesoscar]

Professors either are your best friends or your ultimate enemy. That dude needs to take a chill pill. He probably gets off on causing his students misery. Jon, on the other hand, seems so cool and like a fun dude! His love for pictures is everything, I adore it. If you can talk to him about gambling then he's really a chill guy. 4 finals, that's manageable! I'm the same study type as you; procrastinating it and only doing it a short time beforehand. But, I'm the prime example for this bad behavior. Don't be like me and fuck up your finals. So listen up, I will boss you around one more time. You will start studying early on and really put your heart and soul into it. The relief you will feel afterwards will be the greatest thing ever! Listen to me, miss ma'am.

Omg yes Sam and Butter are sharing one brain cell! Oh Sam definitely enjoyed his ball, especially since he lost his two... The new tattoos will be smaller, fineline ones. 1 is an ufo sucking in a human with "get in loser" on top. The other one will be a devil lady (naked) waking up from a nap inside of a coffin. The best news about all of this is that THE HOT MILF WILL BE DOING THE TATTOOS!!!!

Well... technically I'm already "fired" so they can't do anything. After my apprentices is over they couldn't offer me a job so I'm being let go. And because that company is really shitty and never treated us well, I don't give a fuck anymore and will call in sick. I already called in today. Hey! Cutting a banana is hard work! I held it in my hand (first mistake) and cut through it. Then I looked away because I got distracted (second mistake) and somehow cut my thumb. The one that held the knife. I genuinely don't even know how I did that...

YES GRACE THANK YOU!! I just grabbed that poor girl while she was stealing the pigs food. She's so soft and warm and fluffy. Hennifer even looked at me and put her head on my shoulder!!

Lol I don't think her poor husband stands a chance against a bunch of obsessed ladies. We will definitely win and kindly surprise adopt Melissa. I'm sure she wouldn't even mind...

That’s honestly so true about professors. My chemistry one, the guy who gave me a zero, is a complete asshole. It’s safe to say that my evaluation of him will be a long and hefty one. Jon is honestly the goat, im sad that I’m only going to have him for one more semester. although I will be glad that I won’t have to worry about an embarrassing picture of me making it into the slides 😭 4 finals isn’t too bad, and I don’t think any of them are on the same day. At least I hope not. I’m honestly the worst when it comes to studying, but I plan to use tomorrow as a study day, so don’t worry! And to make you proud, I finished my article review paper tonight and turned it in, instead of waiting until tomorrow to do it, which is when it’s due! It was supposed to be 4 pages, but it turned out to be 6 😬

Not Sam losing his 2 other balls! I got Butters 6 tennis balls a couple months ago, and now he only has 2 left 😭 Butters has been a handful today; first he came in from playing in the backyard with a small abrasion on his head which I had to clean it, and now he’s gotten welts around his mouth and on his nose. It looks like he had an allergic reaction to something, but I’m making him sleep in my room so I can keep an eye on him. My two boy animals have caused so much trouble 😭

But your tattoo ideas are amazing!! I remember you sending in those pictures of them too, and I can’t wait for you to get them!! AND THE HOT MILF IS DOING THEM?!?! YOU BETTER BE SENDING IN THE FINISHING WORKS!!

Well since you are technically already “fired,” I guess there are no consequences for calling off work, especially if the company can’t treat the workers properly. And you know what, you absolutely deserve that time off for your traumatic experience with cutting the banana. How the hell did you manage to cut your thumb that was holding the knife??? That’s what I want to know, like how is that even possible 😭

you snatching Hennifer while she was being a menace and stealing the pigs food is honestly gold!! And she even rested her head on your shoulder, that’s so cute!! Also, I absolutely lock her name so much!! It reminds me of Yennefer from The Witcher series. We used to have chickens but we had to get rid of them because A.) they were too loud and B.) my brother got attacked by the rooster and I got in trouble for recording it 🙄

Melissa herself said that her husband doesn’t get jealous, so I’m sure we could figure something out to where we all win 🤷🏻‍♀️

[chiyoso]

In today's episode of underrated hoyoverse men, we got welt joyce. Welt's Predecessor. Someone that the hsr players should try learning about because without this dude welt yang would've been the nanami of hi3 and maybe hsr, he kinda already is-

Anyway, he was the first character I simped for in hi3. Because before I played the game my friend recommended me to read the manga + visual novels and get to know the lore first and I was looking through the visual novel I think and saw him and I just started giggling and twirling my hair.

I love both welts equally but this one captures my heart more for some reason even though he looks like any regular blue eyed dude with dark blue hair in those royalty/fantasy webtoons.

THIS IS MY DREAM BTW 😋

so, fatal warning, i may not have seen this art of the infamous original (?) bearer of the herrscher of reason, BUT ITS OKAY IM NOT ONE TO GET UPSET AT SPOILERS (also hes eye candy as fuck)

i have yet to really truly understand where the APHO timeline really resides, i just played that open world cause AI chan keep persisting me to play open world 😭 “Captain! you can-” yada yada yada like yeah yeah ill get my rewards n shit hngh

is there like, heavy deep lore regarding to him besides uhh fucking up a whole ass country ☠️☠️ he tryna speed run destroying things or what 😭

THAT AND. LOOK AT THE FUCKING OTTO APOCALYPSE BELOW THE SCREEN OMGMGNGNGGJGKTMG AND SHIT I SEE KALPAS PEEKING IN THE CORNER

I DIDNT KNOW THERE WAS AN EDIT LIKE THAT, SOME PPL ACTUALLY WANT THIS TO HAPPEN????? OMG

[notajoinerofthings]

For the song ask: 3, 10, 14 (😏), 15, 19, 29 & 30!

omg Isabel 🥺💖

3: A song that reminds you of summertime

Nils Koppruch - Kirschen (wenn der Sommer kommt). Songified Sommerleichtigkeit 💛 I've also just had a look at the comment section and it's lovely to see that people still remember Nils and his music so fondly 💞 he really was one of the good ones

10: A song that makes you sad

did you mean: my entire music library. Hmm, let's go with Thees Uhlmann - Immer wenn ich an dich denke, stirbt etwas in mir. It took a while for that song to grow on me, but now it's got a special place in my heart. Especially the lines Ich bin der Letzte mit einem Bierglas / In einer Welt voller Champagner / Die Welt ist von sich selbst besoffen / Aber ich bleib beim Bier just hit differently idk

14: A song that you would love played at your wedding

I mean.... we've already agreed that Böhmi's versions of Señorita and Malle ist nur einmal im Jahr should be played at our wedding 🤣😏 but apart from that, I'd also like to propose Thees Uhlmann - Römer am Ende Roms. It's a song about getting married that manages to reference both Bruce Springsteen and Shakespeare - what more could you possibly want from a wedding song!! And Loch Lomond for the last dance would be fun, too. (I really put way too much thought into this for someone who doesn't really care that much about marriage as a concept lmao)

15: A song that is a cover by another artist

Camp Cope - Seventeen Going Under (originally by Sam Fender) Okay, so I love Sam Fender and I love Camp Cope and the original song is a fucking masterpiece and they managed to make it their own without ruining anything. And the small changes to the lyrics and the way that Georgia absolutely slays this!! And when she sings I was far too scared to hit him / but I would hit him in a heartbeat now..... it feels quite different compared to when Sam does it but it still feels like a punch in the chest, y'know?

19: A song that makes you think about life

Gang of Youths - The Deepest Sighs, the Frankest Shadows I like that this song turns the whole... the human existence (or even the cosmos as a whole) has no objective value or meaning thinking into something that's actually life-affirming. Because it's about creating and ascribing your own meaning and finding value in your life and building relationships with others that create meaning and that allow you find value in each other. And that's definitely an idea that I can identify with. And the line I will stand in the darkness and laugh with my heel on its throat just makes me go feral for some reason haha

29: A song that you remember from your childhood

Blondie - Maria. Let's pretend that a lot of my musikalische Frühprägung didn't consist of the likes of Pur etc I was... 9? when this song came out and it was played a lot on the radio and I didn't understand a single word of the lyrics, but I loved Debbie's voice and it's just such a banger.

30: A song that reminds you of yourself

The Weakerthans - Aside 💕

music asks

[tortan-saarbruccan]

JusticeLeague0815

YTA. I mean there's definitely some shit going down in your life right now but your "friend" is definitely right in saying that you don't trust him. After all you came here instead of just talking to him. Especially because it seems like he is the one to always save you from the shit going down around you. Cant believe I'm giving out relationship advice to people on the internet now but just. talk. to. him.

wrtlbrmpft

i totally agree, OP's friend seems to care very much for him and by keeping him away he's already hurting him. Also are you sure those mysterious men that are after you really exist?

themanthemyththelegend

dude did you not read the text. op literally said hes been attaked twice already. also is noone gonna talk about the fact op literally confessed to comitting a crims?

wrtlbrmpft

Start to write properly and maybe then I will give a shit.

10 weitere Antworten

IchundmeinHoelzer (original poster)

Nobody asked about your fucking relationship advice. So how about you just shut your face. Also Leo and I are good friends so you can shove your quotation marks up your ass.

JusticeLeague0815

touchy touchy

13 weitere Antworten

fussballhoernchen80

I know that's you, schürk. And yes, you are definitely the asshole here, even more so than usual. I don't know how he puts up with you every day. Probably a good bit of trauma-bonding happening.

PS: Du bringst am Montag besser Hörnchen mit, sonst zeige dem Subjekt deines Usernamens diesen thread.

igotinvested

omg. do you know op personally? is it all of that true about his father? so your not the friend, right? do you also work in the mafia?

mansplainer1000

you cant really believe that, that's just some rando who thought he was funny

igotinvested

maybe you are blind or dumb but they used a name. a name. they know ops name ergo they know him

mansplainer1000

you ever heard of people lying on the internet? god, are you naive

99+ weitere Antworten

ERIS

you couldn't pay me to touch the above thread with a ten-foot pole

markdieter

In Anbetracht des Namens ist diese Aussage recht erotisch.

ERIS

wtf???

Bertelsmann Stiftung

Guten Tag, ich bin ein sogenannter "Bot" der Bertelsmann Stiftung für Meinungsforschung und wurde erschaffen um mit ihrer Hilfe die Welt noch kreativer, effizienter, teamfähiger, begeisterungsfähiger und kreativer zu gestalten.

Wo kaufen sie ihre Hörnchen?

a. Im Supermarkt als Aufbackware

b. Im Supermarkt am Backautomaten

c. Bei einer großen Bäckereikette

d. Bei der Bäckerei ihres Vertrauens

e. Ich backe meine Hörnchen selbst (falsche Antwort)

Vielen Dank für ihre Teilnahme.

masterofdisaster

hoooly sh*t, how did you get a blank space in your username?

2 weitere Antworten

GHive

masterofdisaster

YES. Half of OPs problems would probably solve themselves if he and his friend just boned.

GHive

freudenreichesKieselsteinchen

same

igotinvested

Like? OP's friend really said he'd go to the end of the world with him. If that isn't love...

mansplainer1000

delusional, how about you go out and touch some grass?

cynicalbarracuda

says the pot to the kettle

45 weitere Antworten

ERIS

ok, but like, OP's friend is basically the textbook definition of 'I can fix him', right?

iamboatingthem

asgshkfjrbfjfjcns

iamboatingthem

wait. the ops name is Schürk, right? and @fussballhoernchen80 said something about 'the subject of his username', that would be the other guy, right? so we got two names and a ship... The question is now: is it Schölzer or Hörk?

IchundmeinHoelzer (original poster)

I don't know what boats have to do with this shit but i don't recall asking for your opinion on my relationship status. So fuck right off.

masterofdisaster

relationship status, you say? Well that's easy: the biggest 'it's complicated' you'll ever see.

whyamihere666

ngl they do seem pretty close...

igotinvested

Is noone else gonna point out that OP probably is mafioso? I mean his father stole money which OP now found, there are multiple men after him who want the money and instead of going to the police he just keeps it? Not to forget that his father faked being murdered by his own son and committed suicide! The question now is: Does OP's friend know that OP's in the mafia? Because if he doesn't i can totally understand OP's refusal to talk to him about it. Very sweet of him to protect him from that.

mansplainer1000

Should have known I would find one of you in this thread...

igotinvested

i don't know what your implying there and i don't know why you care

orthographie-checker

*you're

99+ weitere Antworten

masterofdisaster

the real question is: what is going on with @igotinvested and @mansplainer1000 and who will get the rights to the inevitable 200k slowburn, enemies-to-lovers plot?

igotinvested

har har, i dont know what the dude wants from me

whyamihere666

seems pretty superficial of you to assume it's a man

masterofdisaster

tbh only a man would use he/him pronouns for a person they don't know anything about

also not so sure this is the right word

cynicalbarracuda

dudes literally called himself mansplainer

deancas4life

me, every time i see @igotinvested and @mansplainer1000: RIP Steve Yockey

igotinvested

Guys, did you see what @fussballhoernchen80 wrote? We now know OP is called Schürk and is probably German. And OP called his friend Leo and as @iamboatingthem pointed out, Hoelzer ist probably also a reference to his friend. So we can assume his friend is called Leo Hoelzer, right?

mansplainer1000

god, are you still here? how many times do i habe to tell you, this is just a big, fat load of bullshit. also that was dutch not german

masterofdisaster

*cue romantic music playing*

mansplainer1000

what the fuck is your problem, man

99+ weitere Antworten

asumfufulna

i dunno, i think the dude just lives in a movie

funniestangelinthegarrison

more like a series

funniestangelinthegarrison

a series of unfortunate events

99+ weitere Antworten

there's a part two now

Am I the asshole for not telling my best friend about the money my dad stole 25 years ago?

My (32m) best friend (32m) recently figured out that I have found the money that my now-deceased father stole about 25 years ago during a bank heist.  About 16  years ago my best friend hit my father with a shovel that sent him into a coma for 15 years probably saving my life in the process. He then woke up about a year ago, killed himself and made it look like a murder, framing me for his own suicide. My best friend helped me prove my innocence. However, a lot of men know about my father and the money he stole and are currently trying to get their hands on it. They already attacked me when I was in prison after I got arrested for my father's alleged murder.  Since then I got attacked another time, but I was easily able to handle it.

I know that my best friend just wants to protect me after everything that we went through together but I don’t want him to get involved even more than he already is. He told me he would go to the end of the world with me but I really don’t want him to. It will only get him hurt. I will only get him hurt. But now he is extremely mad at me for not telling him about the money and actively lying to him when he was asking what was going on. He accused me of only trusting myself. Am I the asshole?

Edit: My best friend's feelings for me or my feelings for him are not relevant to this conversation. Stop arguing about that.  

[b-rainlet]

My Rating of the upcoming 'Ein Herz für Bitches' Album by Katja Krasavice (dropping on Friday!!!)

Based on the snippet that was uploaded to Youtube <3

Frst of all: Katja uploaded a snippet video for all her albums (not counting Boss Bitch) and this one immediately took second place so I felt like making a rating for what I think about the songs now vs. what I will rate them once they're actually released on Friday.

Best Katja Snippets:

Eure Mami Snippet (watch it, I love it)

Ein Herz für Bitches Snippet (watch it for the half-naked men on leashes)

Pussy Power (sadly kinda lame in comparison)

Ein Herz für Bitches (A heart for Bitches)

Legend - 15/10 this will be a mean as fuck track and I will love it

Frauen - already released 9/10 bit too mainstream for me but super cute song, also feminism! Yay! (also this music video reminded me that i need to make gifsets of her again because she looks sooo cute in this omg)

Ein Herz für Bitches - 10/10 I am very confident that I will love this

Mia Khalifa - 11/10 She uploaded a snippet of this months ago and I've been waiting for it. It's gonna go hard.

Ich hab den schönsten Arsch der Welt - already released 11/10 remake of a song from 2003 (I have memories of watching this music video on Viva) and tbh? It's better. (But I mean, not surprising considering that Felix Jaehn is involved). If this is not playing at the club while I am wine drunk and feeling slutty, I am leaving.

Wie Gott mich schuf - 10/10 The amount of people who will be angry about this song because she is singing about looking how God made her while being heavily operated brings my bitter heart a lot of joy (also if you're religious, I do enjoy the interpretation of God approving of whatever surgery you're doing because they know what you look like in your heart and that's how they intended to make you in the first place - they simply gave you the tools to do so yourself).

Deutschland Sucht Die Super Bitch - 10/10 this is gonna be a feel good song with a nice beat

Neonlights - already released 10/10 a queer anthem! The second verse isn't as strong but the first one made me tear up so

Ohne einen Mann - 11/10 apparently based off a tiktok trend?? The melody is rippped off of Narcotic and I stan tbh

Birthday Sex - 8/10 forgettable so far

Bilderbuch - 7/10 it's featuring Jill so I have not much faith in it (Jill cannot exactly sing)

Teil Mich - 20/10 if this doesn't fuck as hard as I am expecting I will be SO disappointed

Kein Platz für uns beide - 9/10 another solid break up song

Milchshake - 8/10 classic Katja Song but not feeling it so far (it's about swallowing lmao)

Katja will upload a music video for one of the unreleased songs on Thursday, fingers crossed it's Teil Mich or Mia Khalifa.

[decembermoonskz]

Jingyuan is insanely good like 😫 everytime he speaks or just simply do sth i would giggle and shii too bad i lost my 50/50 to gepard tho it was only like 20 pulls in so i wouldn’t mind that much (gepard is also a cutie). Even though i am guaranteed now i might wanna spend it for luocha cuz long hair male character supremacy and this game be giving out too many its not good for my heart ><

HHH YIU GET IT MY FRIEND 🫠🫠🫠 jing yuan is so fucking gorgeous and when I learned how to say his name right too his name just made him so much prettier 🥺🥺🥹🥹 OMG I’m both sorry and happy for you HAKSHSKSHDJ 😂 bc I’m sad you didn’t get jing yuan but also gepard 🫠💕🫠💕🫠💕🫠💕 I love that man so so SOOO much I desire him so badly he better come home soon I’m literally ready to build him ��️👏🏼

omfg luocha I haven’t gotten that far into the game yet to meet him but I also want him bc apparently he’s imaginary and welt jiji is the only imaginary unit rn 😩 BUT YOU ARE SO REAL FOR THAT long hair male or male-presenting characters for the world star rail really be putting jing yuan and luocha AND blade 😭😭😭😭