#i fucking love damn near all of them
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God how do i pick just 1, 3 very different ones come to mind
Please reblog for sample size, even if you’re not autistic.
#animals#i fucking love damn near all of them#theres a small amount i accept have a place in the world but still dont like#fucking love horses#i think equids in general are my favorite. funky mfs#then theres vehicles#i find the way they work absolutely fascinating in a “wow howd they come up with that” kinda way#same for guns. fucking fascinating#and then theres art#i just love art in general#the sheer amount of diversity between every single person#different preferences for shapes#colors#lines#medium#and then even better#the way we can mimic other peoples art!#it may never be 1 for 1 but we can get damn close#something about art just really makes me like humans as a species#holy fuck i wrote all of that as tags#um...#but yeah#animals (horses) cars/guns and art#those make my brain go brrrrr
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i think the qsmp is very impressive for speedrunning the same love-hate relationship i have with the dsmp in under a year as opposed to the three it took for the other one
#truly the qsmp experience for me was just my dsmp experience but . 10x more intense . qsmp burned bright like a sun and fucking exploded#while dsmp just kinda died out slowly and by then i wasn’t interested in it anw#i think love-hate relationship is the only way to describe it because it’s like . it was incredible . i loved it . i still love it .#i dedicate my free time to working on a wiki for it and i think about the cubitos and npcs often . but jesus fucking christ the toll that#shit took on quite literally the everyone’s mental health . the constant stress and near psychological torment the ccs and admins dealth#with because of an insane lack of rp etiquette planning and communication . they couldn’t even talk to the people they were roleplaying#child death with . what the fuck#and looking back at it now it’s crazy to me just how MUCH happened in such a short amount of time . just constant shit happening . purgatory#lasted two weeks and it still feels to me like it lasted two months i’m so serious . you lived every single fucking moment#etoiles still brings up purgatory when he’s in a particularly stressful ‘damned if i do damned if i don’t situation’ . lord#and STILL i’m glad it happened and it seems like the admins and ccs would pretty much all agree seeing how they act . like even despite#how so much of it sucked . because so much of it was incredible and life changing and just a fucking adrenaline rush of fun .#i don’t want another qsmp 2 as much as i’d love to be optimistic as much as i want to capture the joy of the server’s best momenrs again#christ in hell . pay your fucking workers treat them as actual human beings and act like the international company you are#jay rambles
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cross is so shippable with anyone OUTSIDE of the bad sanses it kills me that his most popular ships ARE LITERALLY ALL BAD SANSES SHIPS 💀💀💀💀
i say as i saw this one tweet saying cross and xtale was originally meant to be art themed and he was gonna be chalk instead of cross and that meant. ink and chalk. ART SUPPLIES????? THATS SO CUTE!!!!! and then i just saw the cutest crink comic and,,,, SIGHS!!! WITH FURY BEHIND THE SIGH!!!!!!
crink cream clue crerror what other OH YA crepic (HOW COULD I FORGET CREPIC) i thought of cross x swap x fell in class like a week ago. i think it would be cute lowkey. monocherryberry. ive been seeing sprinklings of ccino x cross and i think its cute even tho i care naught for ccino. wait what would a cross x classic ship name be??? cross sans. LMAO. crossic???? comicross. paneling. OOH cross/geno. CROSS/FATAL,,,,, what about that one like crepic + fresh ship!!!! the silly gang thats so cute. literally has so much chemistry with ANYONE. ANYBODY!!! but nm killer dust and horror. outrageous
#cross gets all the bitches#except not for those 3 (motions to the fight going on between the trio) they can keep eachother#nightmare is an exception he should be alone. aroace aplatonic a prefix ANYTHING do NOT get near this man he hates you#guys how do you ccino. i dont like saying it like cappuccino but remove the cappu#NO!!!! i say it like c-seeno. ccino. seperate the first c from the rest and then say the rest with an s instead of a c#i just think its cuter that way!!! i dont LIKE saying chino. ccino. cappuchino. NO!!!! C-SEENO!!!!!#rare not mtt related post outrageous coming from triglycercule i know i know#remembering those first days when i hated cross.... and then i saw his outside the bad sanses and i was like#DAMN! i dont hate him! infact i love him! i just hate him in the bad sanses!#i have 64 drafts piles up and counting theyre bangers i just really have not been posting#FOR SOME REASON (i only come up with ideas @ night) (which sucks) (because im also busy @ night) (FUCK)#its all nightmare's fault. he cursed me because i dont like him and his shitty character#ah (sips tea(i dont even like tea lets change it to mango juice) i remember the good old days when i only had fourty piled up drafts.......#i feel like i have to comment on the piled up drafys thing every time i make a silly rant like this#guys ive not run out of brain juice i just keep coming up with ideas at inconsistent times#and then i end up forgetting to post them because wake up - 4pm is school!!!! and then i have homework and hobbies and napping and UGH!!!!!#64 drafts could be enough to post for 2 months. we will survive the winter like this#no because then i start by posting one and then i come up with 3 more so i didn't even lower the draft count#first world struggles triglycercule i know i know#tricule rant
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Yk realistically if the om bros were fucked up like demons should be, they wouldn't be that disturbed by bloodlust el's personality.
However, I think the terror and angst comes from the fact that they lived with him his whole life, and for the most part, he was very passive and calm and never immediately resorted to violence, so to see [what used to be] their human revel in bloodshed is.. unsettling.
#bc they loved him for being human#being kind!! he was their connection to the entirety of humanity bc he loved people. bc he was human#they knew he was going to die eventually bc he's mortal. to them his life feels like minutes passing by 2 their immortality#[the universe where he turns in2 bloodlust el is the 1 where solomon can't reproduce the accidental immortality spell he used on himself]#[so el dies of old age after a full life of the devildom and his partners and magic]#so- imagine you die. your life was full and complex and loving#and [for a reason i haven't decided on yet] heaven/the celestial realm wipes your memory of all of that shit and u turn in2 a blank slate#2 be molded and shaped into something befitting an “angel”#then u start getting your memory back and you damn near start another war bc you're so pissed off you fight god & actually land a hit#which gets u cast out of the heaven and when you go crashing into hell you land smack dab in the middle of the garden#that belongs 2 the ppl who once loved you#but when u crashed you fucked up your head and now you're “wrong”#different from the human these people want you to be. and you hide away. they make you feel like a monster when you can't stop it#and get imprisoned for it. then used as essentially a court jester/executioner bc the prince needed to do *something* with you#fucked up#they wouldn't care if he was just another demon. but he's what remains of the human they loved yk#so it's more disturbing#anyway long ramble over#elliot rambles#obey me#obey me mc#obey me demon mc#obey me demon oc#avatar of bloodlust#demon elliot oc
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if i thought the witcher was painfully realistic. i was wrong. it is a very clear fairytale that comforts and soothes. even in its realistic take on the genre, it inspires, even in its tragedy, it comforts.
evil is defeated epically in a final battle in the darkness, the valiant heroes fall together, the lovers die united, and all pass into legend and are remembered for ever and ever. and the spirit of our hero returns now and again to save and deliver us from evil… they become legend and in that legend they are immortal…
#txt#the witcher books#OK HUSSITE TRILOGY SPOILERS IN TAGS:#like i cant say that evil WASNT defeated in the hussite trilogy because he definitely was but not in an epic final battle but#the fact that its like in the very penultimate bit and its not reynevan who does it but his NIECE it is just so…#we came all this way and there was no ultimate showdown#i mean there kind of was but not in a big castle but in some plains with a windmill and#it wasnt really a final battle but a kill-eachothers-girlfriends bit#birkart didnt even get his hands NEAR samson before he died#scharley and reynevan just left… at the end… just like in the beginning of the first book EXCEPT NOT because everything has changed them#well has changed reynevan. kind of dandelion and geralt in that way as the second man remains a constant#reynevan no longer being like a young man but a. man. but this didnt come with grand heroism and valour. it just came with. pain and#the eventual wearing down and tarnishing of his zeal and belief and love#thats … literally so fucking dark but also so realistic and it scares me lmaooooo#and people say the witcher was anticlimatic and sad at the end LMAOOOO OHHHH NOOOOO#lux perpetua like damn that dude really was walking in darkness groping along like a blind man after losing his eternal light#ohhhhh i get it now so god has abandoned us and he also never really existed ohhh okay#his love died as he was helpless to save her and he didnt even avenge his brother and his friend trio crumpled#like like. just trying to put this all into perspective
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Ah, I see we're apparently moving from the "the Infinity Saga was totally perfect, amazing, and untouchable while the Multiverse Saga is nothing but trash" rewriting of history narrative to "maybe the MCU was just always bad." Goodie.
I'm so tired.
#some obvious ragebait popped up in my youtube recommendations and i just...#even if the video itself is more nuanced than the title/thumbnail suggest#framing it all like that just immediately turned me off from anything that person has to say#especially because though i love the mcu i've never understood people who get so extreme when talking about it (as a whole or in specific)#like sure it has it's flaws but i think some of y'all need to manage your damn expectations#because frankly the fandom's punching bags are hardly ever as bad as it makes them out to be#and the bits the fandom worships are never anywhere near as good as you all claim#it's b-movie superhero schlock get a fucking grip#anyway...#fandom woes#fandom wank
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#vent post essay ahead lol#having complexes about talking about your emotions is literally the fucking devil . its miserable. it sucks so bad.#the aamount of damage that is caused to someone by like#i mean im talking abou t me here obviously.#being the person whose like. overall ultimately tends not to feel horrible as often is like.#it's nice not feeling bad emotionally all the time but also it's like. i develop this complex about being like able to help.#i don't feel bad anywhere near as often as my friends so i can help them out and listen to them vent i can have the mental room to#like listen to them talk about their problems. yeah. but it makes me feel like. well this is my job now so i shouldn't fucking talk about m#i shouldnt vent when i feel bad because that's not what i'm known for. plus my friends already all feel worse than me more often than me. s#i don't want to dump any more on their plate than they have to deal with. i don't want to burden them anymore than i have to. and like it's#it's hard. i hate fucking talking about it and it's made so much worse when its like people i love . always been a fucking problem becaus#i just feel fucking horrible admitting that i feel bad i hate that so much. i don't want to like turn away people who care about me but li#i feel like if i tell them what's wrong with me i'll like do it anyways. i feel like i come off as super normal and happy go lucky and like#ostensibly fine. so when i admit this shit its like. oops the facade is cracking!!!!!! uh oh uh oh you can't help people so you feel bad!!!#because your fucking npd has made you feel self centered in a way that means you want to help people or some shit i dont fucking know#and so when i feel bad or get mad over something unreasonable it's like. well i hope i fucking keel over and die or something i dont like .#i don't want people seeing me like this or whatever. and my stupid fucking personality disorder just ruins every god damn thing its so bad.#my past experiences giving me complexes that lead to me feeling fucking left out over like small stupid stuff but god the worst part is lik#my brain categorizing something as being ''My Thing'' so somebody else talks about liking my thing AFTER my brain has designated it mine#makes alarm bells go off and feel like theyre fucking. i don't know encroaaching on my turf or what the fuck ever? it SUCKS ASS#it makes me feel HORRIBLE . and it's like i'm not gonna fucking bring it up because i don't wnt to be like a dick but also it's like well.#i feel fucking miserable about this but it's just like mean and unnecessary and cruel to like stifle people's fucking fun because of my dum#fuckin complexes. it's fucking constant. like oh look at you girl you feel fucking left out because you never get characters who really gri#you mentally and so now you have one but oops! someone else talked about them and now you're seeing red! you like this person though#so you're gonna feel fucking MISERABLE about this . you're gonna feel HORRIBLE because of this. and there's nothing you can fucking do#and it controls my goddamn life and i HATE IT i fucking HATE IT i wish i knew how to fix it. ghghrgurghrughruhg i want to fucking explode#and then you feel bad about feeling bad because you are fucking sisyphus. you're sisyphus. and your own anger is your boulder. you ingrate.#i hate this. i just wanted to have a good day.#jane mary cry one tear
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I think the time has finally come for me to re-enter my clog era.
#woolly rambles#y'all remember a couple weeks ago on insta when everyone was posting pictures of themselves at 21?#i didn't participate but i did go back and look through photos of myself from that time#i sort of always forget that because i was working at a yarn store in my early twenties that i dressed like a middle aged norcal lady#like okay not exactly because i was also a broke college kid#but i tried alright#and oh my god the CLOGS#i had a pair of danskos that i purchased#they were the first shoes i ever bought as an adult that weren't from a thrift store and were actually well-made#genuinely wish i still had them but w/e#along with my danskos a couple of the ladies at work gifted me old pairs of their clogs that they no longer wore#at one point i had four different pairs of clogs that i wore literally all the time#and you know what? it fucking whipped#my feet were comfy as hell and i genuinely liked how they looked#plus#while everyone else's 2013-ass ballet flats were falling apart the second a foot got near them#my clogs were solid like a damn brick house#loved those things#anyways i'm returning to the wisdom of my youth#i'm getting a pair of clogs
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mikaelson stans are deeply unserious but the worst kinds are the klaro klaus stans, the “klaus is a big meanie” elijah stans and the “kol is so mistreated” kol stans
#like i'm all for acknowledging klaus' wrongs#but you can't at your grown age keep blaming klaus for all of elijah's shit lmfao#you cannot keep using 'klaus always ruins what elijah has' when elijah is LETTING HIM#not only that but he HELPS HIM DO IT to their other siblings#elijah is not a victim of klaus' insanity he's a fucking enabler#if ANYONE could take on klaus pre hybrid and win. it was elijah.#he didn't do that. he willingly played a hand in klaus ruining damn near everyones lives#ESPECIALLY katherine but y'all love to pretend katherine should just ignore all that#elijah is quite literally the only one who could actually beat klaus' ass when he acts up but no! he's right by his side doing it too#i don't have words for the kl*ro klaus stans. idk who that bitch is lmfao#the 'kol is so mistreated' gang is just ridiculous#like. yeah. it'd be hard to deny he gets mistreated by his siblings#but he's not? some uwu baby? who needs to be 'protected' or defended#he's also a grown fucking man#the 'mistreated' thing goes out the window as SOON as he leaves his family's presence#he's done as much shit as they all have#there's no room for argument that he's 'better' than them#because we didn't see it on screen#just deeply unserious. all of you.#klaus mikaelson#elijah mikaelson#kol mikaelson
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Just put half of my vinyl collection into discogs and its valuing it at $2.5k HA
Excuse the shitty display pic, this is from months ago but it goes to show ya, what exactly it goes to show ya i dont know but now if i tried to lay all my records out in a dog shit manner like this it would take up my whole living room
(Tags are important on this one)
#vinyl#records#i need to put in the other half#i have over 100 records though so it takes awhile#and fucking damn near none of them are scana le so ihave to manually do it#gotta love vintage records#the only reason my estimated value is so high is bc i have fucking half the beatles gd discography in mint condition orginial pressings#and ya know the funny thing is i DO NOT LIKE THE BEATLES ANS HAVE NEVER LISTENED TO THE RECORDS#bought a box of random vintage records and fucking half of them were original vintage bestles records#fuck the beatles#all my other records though are fucking perfection and i cherish them with my whole heart#i just keep the beatles records so 1) i have a cash cow if i so need it#and 2) so no one else gets these records. im doing people a favor#you shouldnt like the beatles. you dont want their records.#id have an even bigger collection but MY OLD BOSS STOLE HALF MY FUCKING RECORDS#my greta records are my babies#gvf vinyl#my ‘hall of fame’ records actually hung up make me chuckle
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Kazu/maji is soooooo different than sae/maji this is because saejima and majima are best friends who go together everywhere and frequently close the toilet door in each others faces because they keep trying to follow each other inside and the other guys like No. im going to take a shit and kiryu and majima are like guys who are knotting each other every time they meet and conjoined at the groin , like majima will carry kiryus baby and saejima will raise it with him you know what i mean theres a lack of commitment (but no shortage of passion) with majima and kiryu theyre each others one night stand every single night but saejima and him stick with each other through thick and thin come hell or high water
#Yakuza loveblog#i just realised with horror that whenever i say kazu/maji without censoring it like that it actually appears in the tag itself#so thats why i have a typing quirk now#anyway you guys get what i mean#im not saying kiryu and majima dont love each other im just saying they dont love each other like saejima and majima do#kiryu is gentle and kind but he cant be loyal when nobody has ever sucessfully pinned him down before#saejima ... he is faithful. at the end of the day he will always come back to majima#and its the same for majima. saejima Gets him like no one else does ... they love each other the same way#i always say this but majima starting to wear his eyepatch less around saejima makes me explode fire and brimstone because he was hiding#damn near everything about himself his past his injuries and trauma because those arent for anybody but saejima. and saejima forgiving him#actively liberated him from those shackles. he waited for him every day and kept his head high until the day he could lower it to saejima ..#he bared himself to him then. showed him the life he was owed because saejima owned him then and had every right to strike him down where he#stood. nobody else was supposed to see his wounds because it was For saejima to judge if majima had been punished enough had suffered enough#for his sake .. the payment for his betrayal .. and saejima of course he forgave him. thats his bro ... the person he looks up to the most#so he forgives majima and majima is free to be his own person again not bound by honour or repayment. and he chose 2 remain by saejimas side#till death do them part or something like that#... the body text of this post implies that majima is an alpha. hes not jsyk hes literally omega coded ‘but hes so violent’ yeah.#hes meant to be like that.#saejima is levelheaded unlike kiryu so hes beta coded and he and majima fuck like rabbits#this is all FYI btw things i believe to be true backed up by source material
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you have just opened my third eye.
i need to emphasize to my followers who haven’t played Trendsetters that MC Mode is genuinely just a goofy announcer character who’s entire personality consists of airhorn sound effects and he’s really only present in one specific game mechanic (minus some post game stuff). but i think its okay to become really attached to a one note gimmick character sometimes
character trait i made up about him #1: his flashy fits are his lifeblood and he needs to wear at least 3 different clashing patterns at all times or he can’t function in human society
#i did my best. i dont have everything unlocked so maybe i can find a better hair colour later#alas there is no dyed hair function for every hairstyle. his fucked up like pea green dye job is no more....#and i couldnt get his skin quite right either. someday i would love for them to like. fix up the skin tones#the undertones are all over the place which sucks when ur making a character with like a specific tone and depth#but you can only get one or the other. he should be just a shade deeper but there was no inbetween orz#and we'd lose the warm undertone. also some of the skintones are like. undersaturated regardless of undertone.#i hope someday they can add more in the non-palest range LOL like damn theres so many near sheet white tones#but everything else is a lot more limited. blease add more syn sophia#also his outfit isnt flashy enough sowwy. most of the clothes i have for type b are like pastel or monochrome because that looks good on#my oc dave BUT mc mode needs like more red stuff and also just like. obnoxious patterns. we're getting there but we can go further#but i was too lazy to go make some new clothes LOL i got distracted playing the event orz#but i will make him... i will make my funny guy
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Tbh I’m blocking people who outright encourage not voting and political apathy because imo those people are Tory party campaigners
#i just would genuinely love to see a list of activism they’ve done in their community that doesn’t include ‘encouraging people not to vote’#and ‘complaining on the internet’. i imagine it wouldn’t be a hard ask and wouldn’t take long#like yeah you have the right to not vote. that’s up to you#but there’s something sus about being on a fairly left-leaning website and telling people how valid it is that they don’t want to vote#i just think you’re a plant! i JUST think you’re a plant. i’m sorry#convincing someone who probably would’ve voted labour green or lib dem to not vote at all is damn near as good a campaign strategy#as convincing someone to vote tory. in fact it’s MORE effective if anything#it’s a lot easier to get someone to just not do something than it is to get them to do it YOUR way#see: why the tories brought in voter ID. why they don’t want 16-17 year olds to get the right to vote. etc#i’m not saying that the fight stops with getting the right candidate in and i’m NOT saying there’s nothing wrong with the electoral process#i’m just saying i think some of you people are fucking plants#why are you out here doing rishi sunak’s job for him for free? he gets paid enough#personal
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Think abt Huffman & Kaeya having a Jean-Mikasa moment when they first met
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Prolly Kae walking w Luc to Knights HQ bc Addie was gonna run errands in the city (Kae deffo wanted an excuse to hang out a bit longer)#//And then before he heads back off to go to Addie; they have a little run-in and Huffman damn near clowns himself in the process#//Kae in the moment prolly wanted to skedaddle right out of there bc he had ZERO idea what tf was going on & why he acted like that#//Plus Luc is practically looking like a puffed up owl staring at this dude & the dude's freaking out now; so maybe he should GO-#//In hindsight; Kae thinks it is the silliest cutest fucken thing & prolly teases Huffman abt it Endlessly#//Huffman's silly little crush and the fact that Luc getting all protective spooked him#//Then Huffman brings up what a fucken clown Kae made of himself tryna impress JEAN throughout his knights days & shuts him right up kdkjb#//Huffman's secret Anti-Kaeya-Clowning weapon lmao#//Bringing up the cringfail things only he; Diluc; and a select few other knights still in Mond witnessed during Kaeya's knight days shbfkf#//Never fails to make Kaeya actively sputter and fluster in ways he hasn't since that time; no way to recover so easily like usual#//Since he was last that notably shy &easy to embarrass; before everything went to shit & he had to change his own presentation to what he#has now. Huffman likes seeing him like that bc it's in essence ''Kae's truest self'. The guy Huffman got used to seeing back then#//Diluc and Jean like getting to see Huffman tease Kae for that reason too#//Moments where they see him lose that facade and give him a glimpse of the Kaeya he'd buried deep#//A Kaeya who wasn't SO cagey with his vulnerabilities/emotions & stumbling; who didn't immediately deflect to hide breeches in his guard#//Esp around THEM. People he trusted more than anything to SEE these parts of him; bc he knew they'd never hurt him/take advantage#//Yet now; they can't see anymore bc SMTH happened that fateful Apr30 (Luc carries guilt of that; wondering if he DID kill Kae That Day)#//Bc SMTH happened; & now Kaeya is as closed off as he is to most others (he doesn't blame Luc; emotions ran high that day. But now he's#seen how his 'role'/who he is can HURT those he loves; & until he ensures it won't happen; HAS to stay back for their own good)#//He can't risk getting to close to someone & them feeling betrayed; rejecting him or worse; getting wrapped up in HIS messes#//Bc he is ESP worried that Luc having specific beef w the Abyss Order nowadays has to do with him; not just Mond's safety#//He always had his suspicions abt his family having ties to them; maybe said smth abt it to Luc during their Confrontation#//If Luc started hunting the Abyss Order's traces bc he'd brought up some half-baked assumption; WORSE; one that was Confirmed later...OOF#//If sb like Jean or Huffman were to find out more abt him; & get HURT in the process if they were targeted or tried to help him; he'd be#utterly Devastated. He just CAN'T allow it. WON'T if he could help it. Would rather have to try & cut ties if he can before that happens#//FUCK; why did this spiral to that rant lmao#//I just wanted to shippy HuffKae jbfjg#//H E LP
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Yall dont even know just how well-behaved i am DAILY at work! its like having two jobs at once! like im an undercover person who is put in a room with intolerable people very opposite of me in every way & is forced to play pretend & be niceys or else i dont get my prize at the end (clocking out & getting a paycheck)
#lets put a queer autist whos hyperfixation is su has no religion likes quiet & can only calm down with isolation & my music in a room with#another autist (unaware) whos fixation is yugioh/power rangers (uninteresting to me) who does voice impersonation stims & clings to you#who also thinks people like you (queer) are wrong & loves to talk to you about your ex-faith#& ALSO WITH ANOTHER autist (unaware) whos fixation/faith is stones & a youtube alien cult & also LOVES to talk abt how unhealthy food is#& shes a helicopter person who wont leave stuff alone even if she knows you want to be left alone & also looks down on minorities#once theyre all in that room together we'll shake it around to make them anxious & agitated & see what happens!!! doesnt that sound fun???#im being such a good nice patient person i stg#also the security guard & my coworker cant stand each other lately so GUESS WHO GETS TO HEAR ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME!?!? me their ''friend''#killingkillingkilling#im not saying people cant come from different walks of life or people with different believes cant get along but GOD DAMN#its literally my worst nightmare EVERY TIME i drive to work. i literally dread what kind of conversations theyll have with me for the night#this is what i mean when i say i hate being palatable#people who are against me in almost every way fundamentally consider me their close friend & it fucking sickens me that i let it happen#aint no way im quitting my job though because its a near-perfect fit for me management loves me & the money is good for the work i do#plus if i work here i can easily transfer to another location out of the country which is ultimately my goal#sorry. woke up from my sleep & chose violence ig#no more ranting tonight prommy#emma rants#emma rambles#work tag
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#tag talk#seriously debating whether I get back on social apps to try and find a good solid guy to kiss me with cigarette breath.#like. damn okay sure I'm in a high energy mood. do I really just wait it out painfully or do I allow myself some fun?#if I weren't still concerned about chlamydia I would be satisfied messing around with my gf but#but the sores on my tongue showed back up and they hurt more than canker sores so I've got another apt. to check them out#because of the doxy didn't do the trick I'm gonna be annoyed.#honestly not surprised I got it from October guy. they gave off “unconcerned about health and wellbeing” vibes#so I guess I should just be happy I didn't get anything worse what with the way I didn't know enough to really vet people.#oh well. live and learn. live because I didn't get a horrible deadly disease.#if I were genuinely sexually active I would seriously consider prep but as it is I think I'm not in a position to need that.#I'm off grindr for the near future at least.#anyway I watched The Dark Crystal with my friend tonight. it's really fucking good hot damn it's really great.#I think I'm comfortable with friend instead of girlfriend. I think I've done my high amplitude to low amplitude to stabilized resonance#high intensity and low intensity stabilize out to a sustainable resonance. I love her in the way that I love the other four close people#got like. five people now? maybe? that I feel genuine friendship and kinship with.#idk. bonding with people is really hard.#I really wish I had bottom surgery or was afab I wish I could fuck the way I want to instead of being stuck as some miserable sexless eunuch#I can't even read good yaoi cause the uke is still all wrong ugh I want to be right I want to be whole I want to be fixed I want to be okay
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