#i fought so hard to get here
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
wanderingchocolateeclair · 27 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
An incredibly late Christmas with the UA family and their matching sweaters-
I know it’s like a month late, but this one had me fist-fighting the Earth trying to get it finished and I Did Not Plan on giving up lol
64 notes · View notes
al-luviec · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
108 notes · View notes
mishy-mashy · 10 months ago
Text
Shinomori is cute. Here's a post.
He is so baby-faced. He hasn't changed at all since he was 22, to when he died of "old age" at 40
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(Old age? With a face like that? 40 years old?? Gimme that kind of youth and hotness Shinomori-)
He has tiny eyebrows. Like a puppy's (rottweiler's, for example). So cute and tiny and fuffy
Tumblr media
He naturally frowns. Look at him and his mouth and his lil nose
Tumblr media
He has a thing about keeping his arms near his chest. He sits with his arms crossed, introduces himself with his hands over his torso, and even walks with his arms crossed toward Midoriya
He has such clear skin for someone who lived the rest of his life in a forest??? Why do Hikage and Yoichi have such nice skin despite living in terrible environments? (forest and vault + abandoned streets respectively)
Is easily scared
Tumblr media
They knew their Quirks could be used, but Shinomori got scared of it when it happened. Even though he gave Midoriya his support and access to his Quirk beforehand. Depending on the translation; "it startled me", "you scared me", "it surprised me"
I'm not going to hold running from AFO against him because he knew he was running for his life. Who wouldn't run for their life when it's in danger? Shinomori was being chased by the strongest person in the country (and likely the world)
His sense of self-preservation is probably heightened by the nature of his Quirk to keep him out of danger too. Which makes him all the more sensitive and jumpy to danger and anything that startles him, especially when he has no warning
He's actually extremely tall, but is so socially inept and jumpy it's adorable. He's taller than Bruce.
Tumblr media
Bruce is as tall as a vault door that the 2m AFO used.
Tumblr media
(Meanwhile Kudo is down there-)
He has such a bad sense of humor that it's cute (his puns off Danger Sense)
It's also adorable how Shinomori just doesn't understand social conventions sometimes. He lived in a forest, so it made sense, but also— Midoriya shows up in the void to the vestige platform for the first time. He has no mouth, no clothes—and Shinomori's first idea is to stand in front of him menacingly and go: "I shall explain. I am Shinomori Hikage." SIRRRR
This.
Tumblr media
His Ability is basically like glorified anxiety. What if something is coming to hurt him? If something can hurt him? What if that tree falls while he's under it? And the ideas come so hard they hurt (although yes, it does detect ill intent and that's what sets it off)
He talks weirdly. Formal? Old-fashioned? Listening to him speak Japanese compared to others, it just sounds a bit different. (Translated subs don't show it very well, it's the voice itself methinks)
"This too, is destiny." *about Midoriya having OFA*
Kinda wise or sage-y. He did spend his life in solitude in the forests so he definitely spent a lot of time with his own thoughts. Maybe he found the meaning of life in a centipede or something one day
For someone so cute, he is also such. A fine. Specimen???
Tumblr media
Look at those back muscles, dang.
Tumblr media
LOOK AT HIS CALVES AND ARMS DANG.
#i dont think shinomori was part of the resistance considering the resistance fought the society AFO was making#and shinomori wanted to avoid society and thus hid away#but i do think bruce knew shinomori because he gave him ofa before he went to fight AFO and die#and afo doesnt seem to know hikage. if he did he wouldve found and killed him. but hikage is never in afos memories#yknow what shinomori needs some appreciation too#vestiges need more attention#also i always put shinomori dealing with bruces remnants in my fics so he needs some appreciation for that#like the kids dumped on him#shinomori received OFA at 22 years old. he was around bruces age methinks#hes not some kid the resistance took in. the resistance didnt take in kids anyway#or at least we dont see them#well fic stuff banjo has the time of his life with en wrangling kid hermits that dont know what electricity is#mha#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#spoilers#hikage shinomori#ofa#one for all#ANYWAY hikage is ADORABLE and needs attention#just LOOK AT HIM#id have put this post out sooner but getting the pictures is always hard cuz popups or videos not working#i like shinomoris english voice actor. i dont stick around to hear anyone elses because i died when midoriya turned into a kid in the dub#i could probably make a list like this and bruces for the rest of the vestiges#yoichis small waist lovely skin and that he probably knows how to wrap kudo and bruce around his finger?#his “my heroes” and smiling as he goes “now now you two..”? kudos low voice and nice arms and SHORTNESS?#en going “senpai” and sitting on his chair like that? looking like he exudes gremlin energy? did he get carried around by banjo and nana?#it looks like he wouldve CMONN#i didnt include it in here cuz image limit but shinomori has big hands and feet (tag limit)
45 notes · View notes
vanity-complex · 21 days ago
Text
Like, I knew shit was gonna be bad, but holy shit… now that Trump has signed a bill specifically excluding DEI programs from being funded by federal institutions so many of my colleagues research funds have frozen and the university won’t use their endowment to continue them. And now there is talk about my scholarships and funding being frozen and possibly rescinded which means I couldn’t finish my degree. I knew the only reason I was allowed to go to school was because of Biden Era policies that paid my way, but I didn’t expect them to be called into question and possibly dissolved so quickly. Literally three and a half years of schooling and a year’s worth of research could be gone and I could be left back where I started with no degree and no prospects…
12 notes · View notes
grumpycakes · 7 months ago
Text
Anybody else been having the weird experience of realizing that you will die eventually and you will never know if we make it out of climate disaster? If we actually do space travel? If the world falls apart?
You realize that. That you’ll never see the year 2424. That your existence is so insignificant and you will never know the ending.
That you will have an ending and you have no idea what’s happening after. To humanity/earth. But also to you and your tiny little consciousness.
That there’s a time where you’ll cease to exist.
And then you can feel your teeth and taste metal and have to actively not let yourself hyperventilate?
CAUSE IVE BEEN HAVING THOSE FUN MOMENTS ABOUT 3-5 TIMES A WEEK. AND I FEEL LIKE IM LOSING MY MIND.
15 notes · View notes
homeless202 · 1 year ago
Note
I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~
I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?
first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question
i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.
TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)
deep dive under the cut as to why
-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?
i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.
-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?
this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.
when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.
think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.
and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).
-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??
this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).
what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)
they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.
...however...
this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):
Tumblr media Tumblr media
so...
<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.
-
since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)
he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.
-
<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).
-
with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)
see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T
-
to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)
note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.
note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.
-> Romance in No Home?
another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.
from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk
when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.
exhibit A:
Tumblr media
HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.
exhibit B:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.
exhibit C:
Tumblr media
this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-> what do i think?
first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).
as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.
there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.
technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)
<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.
all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.
54 notes · View notes
elboxitracio · 15 days ago
Text
WAIT going through my old blog's likes reminded me of that one Yuri manga I read last summer called gunjō by ching Nakamura!! Most insane toxic yuri ever it was so good. For the toxic gay stories website people don't talk about it here enough!!!
#i wasn't active on tumblr by this time last year but I did like a bunch of stuff related to it#i do remember some things i didn't like about it though. 1 chiyomi's groomer girlfriend and their entire relationship wasn't showed#as something bad?? i felt like the writing kind of normalized and showed her as a sympathetic character specially when she died#i mean it's not like i need the story to handhold me and explicitly say “this relationship is weird and pedophilic they meet when she was#like 30 and chiyomi was 17“ is just that it's not shown as weird or bad for chiyomi! it's kind of justified with a cheap#'oh but they actually got together when chiyomi was an adult so it's cool' ??#now that i think of it i think there was this one panel near the end in which chiyomi was like 'more than a girlfriend she felt like a mom#or an older sister' and i was SO glad the weird age gap was at least acknowledged. but still#and 2. soko's insistence during THE WHOLE THING that she was straight and 0 attracted to chiyomi like c'mon 😭#i know internalized homophobia is a thing but it annoyed me so bad lmao#*that one meme of the thick book next to thin book* gunjo vs gunjo if soko knew bisexuality was a thing that existed#ALSO i felt so vindicated near the end when they have sex and soko casually goes “well getting you off turns ME on actually'#and then she's like. my hand hurts tho. LMAOO professional chiyomi hater from begging to end you have to give her that#generally though it was v v good. a tough read. the subject matter was very grim it made me felt really hopeless at times#their relationship was so deliciously complicated they both had such hard lives and were not perfect victims. they were ugly and angry and#very real. every time they physically fought and yelled at each other i was like woa. they were in love here <3 but seriously though it ama#amazed me how strongly i felt for this story and these characters.#💜#yes this is going into my gay tag obviously<3#gunjou#z
5 notes · View notes
quietwingsinthesky · 10 months ago
Note
for the ship ask game, have you ever thought about simm!master/eleven? would you like to?
would i ever!!!!!!
this was the basis of one of my posts about little amy so long ago. a hypothetical s5 where the master sticks with the doctor after he regenerates. but like can we talk about how insane that dynamic between him and amelia, the literal eight year old, would be. look at me. one of the defining things of eleven's run is that the first face he saw was amy's. seared onto his hearts!!! now, imagine that happens in a world where the master did everything right to be that person, and it was still amy. the tardis crashed, and the doctor went one way and the master went the other, and by the time the master drags himself soaking wet out of what was the swimming pool and into amelia's garden, the doctor is already having dinner with some random human child.
things simm!master is not above: being a little bitch to amy about this. yes, even when she's eight. (amelia pond with her stories about her magical raggedy doctor!! ...and the trash rat who crawled out of his time machine after him and threatened to eat her. wait okay hold on i know im getting distracted here but aslkjdalkjsd rory who amy makes dress up as the doctor vs mels who insists on dressing up as the master because she craves violence and an excuse to bite people.)
ANYWAY. god. eleven who is this bottomless well of grief and rage. and the master who is so much like him in this incarnation. silly goofy guys who burn too bright, burn up everything and everyone around them. what is simm!master if not a version of eleven untempered by kindness. i wonder what the master would have to say about a version of the doctor who is aware of how scared people are of him and uses it to his advantage. who scares the rest of the universe so much that they try to lock him away and kill him and do anything they can to get rid of him. when they lock the doctor up in the pandorica, does the master give him the final shove into the chair or is he a few feet away, just barely restrained, impotently snapping and snarling to prevent this?
but never looking at it directly, right? neither of them would be able to. not at what's between them, not at what came before. if you don't talk about that time you both saved each other, then maybe you can pretend it didn't happen.
i think the master would make eleven worse, no doubt about it. i think eleven might just make the master a little better, and he'd hate that but that wouldn't stop it from happening. they might find some sort of equilibrium, just this once, a little willing to bend in the aftermath of the events of the end of time. that part of the master that will be missy one day wakes up. the part of the doctor that was once the time lord victorious gets a last glorious breath. they can have that, together.
okay. okay. one last thing. gets ill thinking about eleven who is so physically affectionate being that way with the master. with mr 'im going to kiss my wife i married for political gain like im starving'. with mr 'time lord telepathy does not require physical contact but if we don't touch foreheads right now ill die'. with mr 'fuck u but also im gonna die in your arms, don't leave or let me go before everything falls quiet.' thinks about eleven touching him and hugging him and kissing him and- thinks about the master recoiling from it, hackles raised, or shoving the doctor away when he does. thinks about the doctor not stopping. thinks about the master getting accustomed to his touch, taking it greedily. (thinks about missy kissing the doctor to greet him later.)
yeag <3
[put any ship in my ask box and i’ll give my brutally honest opinion]
15 notes · View notes
yikes-ajax-thats-sad · 3 months ago
Text
Me: so everyone I know is growing up or moving on to better things and I'll have to learn how to be alone with myself
Me: alright I can do this
Me: yeah, yeah I got this, I've been getting so good
Me: hey I actually really like having the house to myse-
Me: (proceeds to have abandonment issues worse than a preschoolers first day of school and runs around the house like a kid that lost their parent at the grocery store)
3 notes · View notes
blueenthusiastfury · 6 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
final girl Steve Harrington has a nice ring to it 🩵🎀…(Read More)
6 notes · View notes
bcolfanfic · 10 months ago
Text
loveee when i dont know how to let any of my blorbos be happy for too long...love thinking about the concept of (young vets au) bucky's drinking getting to a point that the guys and gale have to go full Intervention of him...all of them crammed into gale and bucky's living room kinda getting read the riot act by bucky in his lashing out </3
19 notes · View notes
skrunksthatwunk · 7 months ago
Text
household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
6 notes · View notes
coconut530 · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Bump in the Night & Nevertober Day 8: The Darkness before Dawn & Pearls
4 notes · View notes
lupismaris · 1 year ago
Text
Didn't get to smoke before work this morning (also not at all confident I took my meds) and while I'm managing the immense stress of the day (hello three new projects) rather well I'm reminded that the ritual of a spliff and a cup of coffee does in fact help keep my teeth dull and my temper subdued
#asked my fellow hiring committee members one of whom is my supervisor if i was really the only person who liked one candidate#and was blatantly honest that I think the issue at hand is the ego/insecurities of the man who oversees this role/department#and we have to toe the line of choosing someone good for the job and who wont be bullied by him/clash with him 24/7#and id been shocked that i was the only one who saw potential in one or two candidates and ultimately i think it's due#to the fact im less willing to let the supervisors insecurities/ego play a role in this. and i said as much#and the response was a laugh and 'well shit everyone duck for cover he might hear us james is getting nasty '#and I'm not really im just tired of pretending like that isnt the core of the issue here. his ego has been wounded for the whole o last yeat#*year and now he's continuously making it everyone else's problem and whomever gets this role with be the Andy to his Miranda#except he has so little to offer in terms of real guidance i feel. hes going to bully and boast and be petty to whomever gets chosen#but any attempt to say that to leadership will get waved away ultimately because he's leadership and he's fought to get his own admin#so rather than get someone with a diverse and varied skill set who can match him in work and intensity#we'll end up with some kid who probably cant set boundaries and will get steamrolled completely#so yeah im irritated by the whole process. and my lack of meds today is making it hard to play nice about it
7 notes · View notes
the-bi-space-ace · 1 year ago
Text
Nothing truly prepares you for how gutted Rex looks when they rescue Echo from Wat Tambor. It hurts to look at him, to see how devastated he is in that moment.
10 notes · View notes
fantastic-mr-corvid · 7 months ago
Text
The thing is I really fucking want to work. I joke about being self unemployed and all that but I don't know what to do with this free time and I'm terrified of what not being able to work means for me. At some point in a month or two I'm gonna try and get a part time job and I know it's gonna fall apart. But at least then I know. Know I'm fucking useless and will never make enough money because of this fucking body of mine. I'm trying so hard to be positive but this fucking sucks. I'm too disabled to work unless i have a miraculous recovery and at some point I'm gonna have to suck it up and apply for benefits and go through that hell.
I spent over a decade fighting depression, dyslexia, bullying and just a eduction system hostile to me, and I was so close! Despite everything I had suffered up till that point I was on track to get a great graduate scheme and work my way up an engineering company, but then all that was ripped from my hands. My friends got them, and I'm left behind. I was just as smart, as clever, as passionate, and I'm facing the liklihood that I can never work, more than maybe a very flexible short shift position after years of management and recovery. My life was ahead of me, but it's been fucking stolen from me.
2 notes · View notes