#i forgot wtf his au was actually called

[cherrio-krispz]

hi beetles

yippe I finally got around to finishing this piece of junk

it’s starting to look even more terrible the more I stare at it.

ALT: (without text)

[osaemu]

SHARING IS (NOT) CARING: PROFESSOR!DAZAI

✩ ‧ ˚. synopsis: he has to teach your class for the day, but there's no way either of you will be able to focus with you sitting in the front row.

contents: fem!reader. college AU. professor x student. not proofread and written in under five minutes. i forgot how to write dazai, whoops. i'll probably write more in this AU later on bc i think it has potential. -1K words.

professor!dazai is well aware that he shouldn't be romantically involved with a student, but justifies it to himself by reasoning that you're not in his class, so it should be okay. even though your university's policy allows teacher-student relationships if they aren't in the same field, he still tries to keep it mostly a secret—after all, he wouldn't want to risk anything on your part.

but one day, your professor's absent, and luckily (or not), dazai's the only one available to step in for the day. imagine his surprise when he realizes that the class he hesitantly agreed to sub for today was your class, and as luck would have it, you sit in the front row.

"alright, class, i don't really know what you're supposed to be doing, but—"

"there should be an outline on the desk, sir," the girl next to you pipes up, smiling bashfully at dazai. he pauses and nods at her gratefully, doing his best to not make eye contact with you as he skims over the outline. you're equally as unsure as he is, because you never expected to be in this situation: with your boyfriend as your actual professor, even if it was just for a day.

"oh, great, i have to give a lecture," dazai grumbles, holding the papers in the same hand that's also holding a cup of steaming hot coffee. he sighs, eyes professionally surveying the room before finally settling on you. "would you mind giving me a quick summary of whatever you're supposed to be learning today?" he asks, hiding his little smile behind the cup of coffee he presses to his lips.

you nod, but right before you open your mouth, the girl next to you speaks up again. "i can do it, professor," she offers, beaming at dazai as if she's the personification of joy and happiness. and it's almost comical, the way dazai barely spares her a glance before returning his attention to you.

so you give him a brief summary of what your actual professor had said your class would be covering today, and dazai nods along, eyes focused intently on the outline in his hand. when you finish speaking, he stays quiet for another second before shrugging and sitting down at the teacher's desk. "i'll just find a video on it, 'cause i don't know enough to teach the subject. and honestly, i don't want to, either."

as expected.

twenty minutes go by with some youtuber's monotone voice droning on in the background, but instead of studiously taking notes (like you should be doing), you find yourself staring at dazai instead. his eyes are fixed on his phone, and it's a mystery to everyone in the room as to what he's doing. it's only when you pick up your own phone to check the time do you see a bunch of missed messages from him:

osamu: this class is so boring

osamu: how do u sit through this every. day.

osamu: i'm already falling asleep wtf

osamu: babe answer me :(

osamu: do you hate me :( if not answer me :(

you bite your lip in a futile effort to hide the smile that's threatening to grow on your lips, which would be suspicious, considering that there's practically nothing to smile about in this dull lecture hall.

you: shut up i'm trying to focus

dazai shoots you a subtle grin from his spot up front and replies quickly enough to make you wonder if all this time, he's just been staring at your name on his phone.

osamu: ik you're not paying attention

osamu: play me in 8 ball

you: no

"you in the front," dazai calls from his desk, clearly directing his voice towards you. he raises an eyebrow coyly, and continues, "shouldn't you be taking notes?"

the girl next to you snickers, not seeming to catch the look you give her. dazai clears his throat and looks at you pointedly, obviously trying not to show his amusement.

"okay," you mutter, shooting dazai a vicious death glare. he winks back at you, a teasing smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"what was that?" he asks in response, pretending not to have heard you. it's embarrassingly obvious that he's just messing with you, and you wonder why you ever agreed to date this man in the first place—of course he'd pull something like this the one day he gets to have authority over you.

"yes, professor," you say with a witheringly forced smile. dazai's smile turns uncertain as he dips his head in reply and instantly picks up his phone.

osamu: i'm sorry pls don't make me sleep on the couch

you: i won't :)

you: you'll be out on the porch tonight :)

osamu: wait no

osamu: i love u

osamu: pls don't do this to me ilysm

"hey," the girl next to you whispers, drawing your attention away from your phone and to her uncomfortably close voice. "isn't professor dazai hot?"

she's not a quiet whisperer, and something about dazai's forcibly calm expression makes you certain that he can hear every word. "i guess," you answer noncommittally. hopefully, your tone doesn't betray how close you are to clawing out your eyes.

"do you think he's single?"

"no. and even if he was, i doubt you'd be his type," you reply with a sickeningly sweet smile. dazai coughs into his arm, obviously trying to hide the laugh he had just choked out. the girl's eye twitches, and you hold your smile until she rolls her eyes and looks away.

osamu: ur so funny i'll kms

you: ur still sleeping on the porch.

osamu: babe :(

[diorsluv]

feather , part 34

“ where i’m at ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

hockeynewschannel

liked by yourusername and 123,659 others

newschannel1 rookie nhl player, luke hughes of the new jersey devils, and longtime suspected girlfriend are seen out at the beach spending time together!

view all comments

username21 no fucking way they got news channels covering this

username78 LMFAOOO

username45 how the hell do you even????

username90 there’s no way they could tell it was them from the BACK

→ username79 prob just couldn’t snap a pic from the front without getting caught

username46 i genuinely think they could give less shits if they’re seen out together

username84 ppl are forgetting they were friends before they started dating 😭

yourusername oh my god i’m famous 😱

→ username42 LMFAOAOAOAO

→ username71 stirring up the drama i see

→ username99 you’re trolling so hard aren’t you

bardown

liked by yourusername, lhughes_06, and 194,901 others

bardown luke hughes or a dupe?

view all comments

username1 BARDOWN??? this has got to be jesse there’s no one else who would cover this

username82 even bardown’s roped into the dryshughes rabbit hole 😭

username72 waiting for the next pod to come out and it’s just then talking about the dryshughes lore for an hour straight

liked by bardown

→ bardown soon!

username24 LMFAO IS THAT THE DRUNK LEAKED PHOTO

username36 i’m sorry they did luke so dirty

→ username34 on par with all the other news reports about him 😔😔

username47 THAT’S MY WIFE she’s so hot

username88 but they’re not even canadian 😭

→ username14 they used to live in toronto idk

username8 next quiz idea: state every event to happen in the dryshughes timeline

liked by bardown

username23 next thing i know i’m prob getting a notif from tsn about this shit

tsn_official

liked by yourusername, lhughes_06, and 200,007 others

tsn_official just spotted luke hughes and his girlfriend getting lovey on the ferris wheel

view all comments

username23 i just manifested this wtf

username41 GOOD FUCKING BYE

username60 they can’t even say mother’s name i see how it is 🙄🙄

username79 wtf!

username15 since when did tsn and bardown cover romantic relationships in the nhl 😭

→ username2 since dryshughes.

username58 they can’t catch a break holy

username97 let’s just leave them alone 💀💀

username42 they didn’t even wait for the actual hard launch to happen 😭😭

username76 THEY’RE CUTE TOGETHER WHO IS SHE

lhughes_06 damn i thought we were being lowkey about it

→ yourusername ‼️‼️

→ username84 i’m so confused what’s going on

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, _quinnhughes, njdevils, and 320,155 others

yourusername we had it coming boys…

look at this fucking dumbass (i love him) he looks so stupid (he’s so cute) and he’s so cheesy (he legitimately makes me swoon) AND IF ANY OF YOU TRY AND SHIT ON OUR RELATIONSHIP i’ll thank you! (I WILL BEAT YOU UP)

thank you for coming to my ted talk

tagged: lhughes_06

view all comments

lhughes_06 i hate you more (i love you so much) and you’re my least favorite drysdale (you’ll always be my girl)

→ yourusername this is so gross you made me cry fuck you

→ lhughes_06 i think you forgot to add the parentheses

_quinnhughes only took you a decade!

→ yourusername HEY DON’T CALL US OUT

→ lhughes_06 fr that’s so uncoolio

markestapa OH MY GOD I CALLED IT

→ yourusername called what 🤨

→ markestapa mackie’s dumb ass said luke was gonna hard launch first

→ mackie.samo THEY PRACTICALLY POSTED AT THE SAME TIME

→ markestapa BUT SHE POSTED FIRST

→ mackie.samo BY LIKE 10 FUCKING SECONDS

→ markestapa give me my damn money 🙄

maddysamo does this mean samo time gets cut down even more

→ yourusername unfortunately yes…

→ msamoskevich okay then keep breaking my heart 😔

→ mackie.samo stfu samo time is NOT getting cut down

→ lhughes_06 yes tf it will mackie.samo

→ maddysamo YOU ALREADY SPEND ENOUGH TIME WITH HER AS IT IS

njdevils favorite couple by far!

→ lhughes_06 YEAHHH LETS GO

→ yourusername 🤭

colecaufield you chose the worst possible photos of him

→ yourusername i deadass didn’t have any good pics of him

→ colecaufield go on pinterest???

→ yourusername and search up pics of my own boyfriend?? hell no

_alexturcotte ayeeee there we gooo

→ yourusername you were our #1 supporter from the start 🙈

→ trevorzegras THAT IS A FUCKING LIE AND YOU KNOW IT.

adamfantilli oh look he gave you flowers

→ yourusername he gave me flowers 🥰💐

dylanduke25 mini golf

→ yourusername i destroyed him

→ lhughes_06 you didn’t but i love you so i’ll let it slide yourusername

→ dylanduke25 the balls r really small right

→ yourusername yeah…….

→ dylanduke25 maybe that’s why you were so good at it yk, since you got a lot of experience from lukey boy

→ lhughes_06 DUDE STOP

rutgermcgroarty why was bro recording the helicopter

→ lhughes_06 because i wanted to 😔

→ rutgermcgroarty ur such a weirdo

comments on this post have been limited

lhughes_06

liked by yourusername, trevorzegras, edwards.73, and 345,174 others

lhughes_06 just wanted to say i was fucking struggling to keep us a secret and i love you more than the entire universe

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

yourusername WHY’D YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE THE WORST PHOTOS OF MEEE

→ lhughes_06 shush you look beautiful

edwards.73 you were not keeping it a secret bro 💀💀

→ lhughes_06 BECAUSE I WAS STRUGGLING

→ edwards.73 yeah we could tell… 😬

mackie.samo that first pic is photo evidence of you selling on chel

→ lhughes_06 IT WAS LITERALLY YOUR FAULT

→ _quinnhughes i was a witness i can attest to your shit playing

→ lhughes_06 😐

luca.fantilli you let her paint ur nails.

→ lhughes_06 IT’S CLEAR

→ luca.fantilli u were shitting on me for wanting to paint stars on my nails

→ lhughes_06 IT WOULD LOOK BAD ON YOU

→ lhughes_06 AND MINES JUST A TOP COAT

→ luca.fantilli SHUT UP HYPOCRITE

jamie.drysdale yeah yeah you look cute but you better not hurt her or else i will hunt you down and i am a hell of a lot closer to you than i was when i was still with the ducks

→ lhughes_05 yes sir 🫡

→ yourusername the paragraph. the fucking paragraph.

→ jamie.drysdale I’M JUST DEFENDING YOUR HONOR

trevorzegras LETS FUCKING GO???

trevorzegras ROOTING FOR YOU SINCE THE START

→ lhughes_05 we thank you for your service

→ yourusername sure you were z

→ _alexturcotte it was obviously me 🙄

jackhughes i bought you all of those films and they were expensive as hell

→ lhughes_06 so was my tooth when you knocked it out of my mouth when I WAS SIX

→ jackhughes IT WAS GONNA COME OUT ANYWAYS

→ _quinnhughes it was not about to come out 💀

→ yourusername you’re rich stop whining about instax films

njdevils that’s our boy!

liked by lhughes_06

comments on this post have been limited

njdevils

liked by lhughes_06, yourusername, dylanduke25, and 356,924 others

njdevils we support you! (as long as she’s cheering us on when we play the flyers 🤫)

tagged: lhughes_06, yourusername

view all comments

philadelphiaflyers gritty will not be happy to learn that his favorite player’s sister will be cheering for the other team

liked by njdevils

lhughes_06 ❤️

→ yourusername dry ass comment

username3 SCREAMINGGGG

jamie.drysdale hm.

→ lhughes_06 don’t be salty man

→ yourusername frfrrr

username87 MY BABIES

username41 IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENEDDDDD

username56 AHHHH

username68 LOOK AT THEM THEY’RE SO CUTE

username25 FUCK YEAH

username76 HARD LAUNCH OF THE CENTURY

yourusername i’ll make a deal 🫣

→ njdevils let’s hear it

→ yourusername whoever’s playing at home is who i’ll cheer for

→ lhughes_06 no

→ jamie.drysdale no

→ njdevils no

→ philadelphiaflyers no

username44 YESSSS

next chapter notes ) HARD LAUNCH OF THE CENTURY?? YES OR YES????? and also i’m so pumped from the stars’ 9-2 thursday win and we finally got our hard launchhhhh

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02 @ho3forfakeguys@loveforaugust@cstads-blog@h0e4fictionalme-n

[11queensupreme11]

i really want to read now Cú Chulainn in PJ

from Lightning Thief to Gaia and the college

Poor Luke he will die and not be called a hero by brainless demigods who forgot who started the war and how he and his group killed demigods.

im just thinking about this au and fuck will percy even actually be able to DO anything with cu around killing everyone who tries to hurt her???? 😭

actually wait lmao i can just imagine the fates constantly trying to find ways to separate them because cu's not supposed to be there and he's getting in the way of percy's "hero journey" or whatever 😂

poor dude's gonna be stressed af and jealous too

lightning thief: she picks anthonius and grover to go with her in the quest and he gets pissed af (and probs jelly cuz of anthonius) like "you are TWELVE with ZERO EXPERIENCE and you wanna stop world war 3 from happening with another dumb 12 year old and a useless goat when you could've picked ME?????????" (he's fed up lol)

sea of monsters: gets pissed when she wants to rescue grover like "wtf forget that stupid goat 🙄" and then is flabbergasted when he wakes up the next morning and realizes that stupid bitch actually snuck out of camp with a CYCLOPS and FUCKING ANTHONIUS

titan's curse: EXTREMELY PISSED if she tries to sneak out again to save anthonius and then there's the whole carrying the skies thing 💀 at this point, he's probably gonna move into the poseidon cabin to watch over her after this cuz she keeps fucking SNEAKING OUT

battle of the labyrinth: jelly and pissed during the beginning when she and anthonius fall into the labyrinth for a few minutes but for everyone else they've been gone for hours. he probably thinks they went to fuck or something 😭 and imagine his reaction when anthonius chooses percy to join ANOTHER stupidly deadly quest 💀 imagine he actually sneaks in to join them and it's another situation where he's stuck in a group with the ppl who're crushing on her (rachel, anthonius, ethan, and him lol)

last olympian: at this point, he's probably actively trying to find a way to send them to the ror verse because he does NOT want her to turn sixteen in this universe since that means the war starts. the fates are working overtime to stop him

and don't even get me started on when she turns up MISSING after the war and the whole mess with gaea and tartarus with ANTHONIUS 💀💀💀💀💀

honestly the pjo verse is probs gonna stress him the fuck out 😂 yes he can easily beat up everyone in that universe and is op af, but imagine having to babysit (and falling in love with) the MAIN FUCKING CHARACTER WHO IS CONSTANTLY IN DANGER 24/7 😭

he's probably gonna cry in relief once he finally drags her to ror verse with him 💀

[brainrot-stitch]

AHAAA I FINISHED IT WOAHHH i usually don't finish art things omg...

Anyways current sabre design!!! (It will probably change bc I can NEVER make up my mind on any design ever sob)

He's such a goof :3 (IM NEVER DRAWING THAT RAINBOW ELYTRA AGAIN IM CRYING)

Anyways some headcanons below cuz I feel like yapping :3

-rainbow totally would have gotten him and sabre friendship necklaces (yk the matching kind with magnets that come together n all) and after knowing lucas for a bit he woulda made friendship bracelets !!

-like that one person I reblogged said, he's such a mad scientist he's so silly omgg

-i love the reincarnation au SO MUCH its literally fire but in normal headcanons I think he used to be part of the creed and an assasin and ermm

Basically I headcanon his whole assassins creed series was basically his backstory before starting to do research on these 'steve' entities

-when nervous/anxious his footsteps will be completely silent out of habit from the whole assassin thing, and he'd obviously do it when purposefully trying to sneak (he has probably scared rainbow or Lucas multiple times by doing this..)

-I'm not sure weather to headcanon that his wings were damaged by a steve really early on in the steve saga (like before rainbow could speak or maybe when dark was still pretending to be blue) or if it was smth that happened when he was still an assassin but it's one of those!!!

-hes an avian.. heh... if u couldn't tell from the ref sheet.. but NOT a chicken!! The chicken jokes are just bc of the hoodie and bc his feathers look a lil similar :3

-he has like 2 of the same chicken hoodie he'll wear most often but still has some normal outfits AND assassins outfits and weapons he keeps away (most are green or have some sort of green in them heh.. I might draw that later)

-ok ok ok I have so many eye headcanons it's so hrggrrrrh the main one tho is one I snatched from the reincarnation au and that's that he doesn't have eyes!! Bc of an injury or sum and he js says he has sensitive eyes and the bandana fabric is see through up close.. but he can still see bc he's a player and the way players work is weird. Other headcanon, green eyes. Other headcanon, brown eyes. Other headcanon, heterachromia green and brown eyes. Other headcanon pure white eyes. Other headcanon code eyes. Other headcanon (gets hit by a bus)

-if we r going with the reincarnation au for the eyes, I feel like only rainbow and Lucas would know, if we're going with the others, I'd say rainbow, Lucas, Alex, galaxy, and maybe the guardian (I forgot if that's what he was called or not) would know. If we're going with the code eyes, then only lucas would know

-not sabre specifically but I feel like steves in general wouldn't be very used to or know but about blood/gore stuff, bc they're more used to being destroyed/poofing, and later on being destroyed through a machine. Being actually killed by a sword or something of the sort they are not used to seeing, and are very touchy on the subject

-on that note I imagine if there's like a steve that's immune to most or all other steve powers and or machines that they're trying to get rid of and arguing on what to so abt I imagine sabre being like "oh 1 sec I got this" and boom that mf DEAD 😭

-and they'd b like 😰

"Guess we're gonna have to kill this guy sabre" "damn"

-ermmm silly billy activity...

-I feel like he'd know a lot more than the other steves on things like the nether and end (not end city tho that's a whole other mc headcanon I don't feel like yapping abt rn) bc those are the dimensions players have access too and steves usually dont.. so they'd b like "WTF SABRE WHAT R U DOING THAT IS A LITERAL HELLSCAPE WITH LAKES OF FIRE AND MONSTERS WEVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE FYM U CAN GET 'NETHERITE' THERE" and he'd b like "well don't go in the fire then and it anything attacks u kill it ig" (not actually sob.. I feel like only he and Lucas would go there bc most steves r hindered greatly by lava and the only ones we've seen that aren't are bad guys if my memory is correct)

Ermm I have more but I'm eepy and can't remember so those r for another day!!!

Reblogs>likes

Don't post my art to other platforms without my permission pls x3

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Carpe Noctem 13

Warnings: dark elements, noncon, age gap, gaslighting, manipulation, other dark elements. Proceed with caution. (short!reader)

Note: Please let me know what you think as it helps me a lot with ideas and I love interacting with you all.

Part of The Club AU

You finally manage to get yourself across the room. You're not going to make it to work. You know that. You know your body can't handle it. But you're getting to the bottom of this.

You lean heavy on the wall and angle open the door. You nearly stumble through and nearly take down the console table against the wall. Holy fuck, it can't actually be possible that he did this to you. Just with sex?

You steady your legs and sigh. You don't even know which way to go. This oversized house is a maze to you.

You are not okay. You need to sit down. You slide onto your ass and collapse against the edge of the door. Well, this is how far you got and you're not getting any further.

"Miss?" A voice frightens you as a door clicks. Oh fuck, does he have a wife? WTF?! "Are you alright?"

"Um, hi," you turn to her, "I um, I'm…" you introduce yourself, "um, Lloyd…"

"He's asleep, I believe. He mentioned he had company," she smiles, "can I help you up?"

"Uh, yeah, thanks," you reach up and she grabs your hand, "I pulled a muscle, I think."

"Of course, miss," she takes you back to your room and helps you sit on the side of the bed, "can I get you coffee? Or something to eat?"

"No, I'm okay," you avoid her gaze as you search the wall instead, guilt gnawing at your insides.

"I'm Chrissy, the maid, I come twice a week for Mr. Hansen," she supplies, "and you're his guests so if you need anything, I'm here till noon."

"Wonderful, thanks," you shrink out of embarrassment, "that's great. Um, I don't need anything," you shimmy across the bed and groan, "think I just need to lay down."

"Of course, miss," she backs out and gently closes the door. You appreciate her discretion even if it reminds you of your shame.

You fall back and sigh. You can't just lay here and do nothing but you physically can't do much else. You wriggle and drag yourself up the mattress and reach for your phone again. You have to get to the bottom of this.

You hit the last call and let it dial. Sandy answers the phone with her typical flat answer. You hesitate and she says hello again, huffing into the speaker. You clear your throat and tell her who it is. She cuts you off.

"Johnny left a message. Part-timer's already coming in to cover," she chirps, "see ya tomorrow."

"Oh, okay--"

She hangs up. You drop your phone. She can be a bit curt, she mostly does the check-ins, she doesn't really cover lunch or play time.

Johnny? You know that's not possible. Lloyd. He must've called. You have all the evidence you need. But why? He's not really the courteous type.

You don't have the energy to wonder. You just want to sleep. Maybe when you wake up, this will all just turn out to be a weird, freaky dream.

👄

You wake up to a thunk. You roll over and rub your eyes as you stare at the silhouette by the door. You take in your surroundings slowly; this isn't your apartment. It's all just the same as it was.

Lloyd keeps a hand on the handle of the basket as he stands proudly in the doorway. He has a hand on his hip, shameless in nothing more than a pair of briefs.

"Huh?" Is all you can muster.

"Special delivery, you forgot your funzies," he winks, "pity we didn't get to test em out last night."

He slips his hand off the handle and grabs a large jelly dildo in a particularly bright shade of pink, "but I think..." he lows it in front of his crotch, "I did the job just fine."

He thrusts his hips as he compares himself to the toy. You grumble and sit up, arms shaky and body stiff and tangled. You grip one side of your head and grimace.

"What... what time is it?"

"I'd say it's time for round two," he chortles, "but you look in rough shape... so I'll give you ten minutes to get your shit together. Go rinse your face, splash some water on the cooch-"

"Please, just... give me a minute to think."

"Babe, I said ten."

Your lips part. Babe. The word reminds you of Johnny, for just an instant. You traded a solid relationship for this. To be just as good as a piece of silicon in that basket.

No. There wasn't a relationship. He hit you. You couldn't go back. The tenderness in your cheek confirms that.

"You called my work?"

"Someone had to be responsible. Fuck you for making me be the one," he scoffs as he tosses the toy back in the basket.

"I'm sorry..." your voice trails off. You don't know why you're apologising.

You shove yourself to the edge of the bed and brace yourself. You can't let yourself stumble in front of him. You take a breath and swing yourself up. For a second, you stand up steady and straight, but your first steps sees you tumbling to your knees.

He snickers and comes close as you hold yourself up on trembling arms. You refuse to look up at him, embarrassed. You try to stand but can barely make your legs move.

"Still got it," he taunts as he looms over, "you know what, better idea, we'll take a nice hot bath to soothe your achy muscles, sweet cheeks," he bends and pushes you onto your ass before scooping you up, "let daddy do all the work… you'll get your turn."

You don't fight him. You couldn't couldn't if you tried. You're too drained; mentally, emotionally, physically. Besides, the hot water sounds like a fair trade as your flesh screams for it.

[morickkk]

Streamer au Nickel would 100% make a post on April fools day like

"Guys I'm gonna go prank this salmon guy so hard just watch me"

Then four hours later

"OKAY WTF?!?! HE HAD ME JOIN HIS MC SERVER AND THEN WE JUST. PLAYED MINECRAFT?? THEN WE ACTUALLY TALKEF ABOUT PROBLEMS AND VENTED AND HE HELPED ME!?!?!??!?!, AND THEN HE ENDED THE CALL ADTER SENDING ME A PICTURE OF THE NEW PC IVE BEEN WANTEING??????? WTF YOU CANT JUST PRANK ME LIEK THAT. I KNOW THAT WAS A DISTRACTIIN. WHERE DID YOU HIDE RHE PRANK. WHERE IS IT."

And he'd just be in complete disbelief about the fact he's just being nice and then when Balloon came back to the hotel with the PC he'd still just be sitting there refusing to believe this wasn't a prank

Nobody needs to prank Nickel on April fools, just be genuinely kind to him and he'll question his existence frfr

(This ask was definitely not all typed out to ask for permission to mess with the streamer au and draw these idiots and maybe Knife or Pickle as streamers too no not at all)

THIS IS SO REAL LMAOOOO bro isnt used to nice people ITS SAD HQUAIWHS

ALSO OMG KNIFE AND PICKLE WOULD FIT FOR THAT AU FRFR

Anwuyaysysy i dugges this out of the cage, i posted these on my ig before i forgot to put it here

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : Instagram AU

Read this first 🎈

Liked by yourbestiename, urbanwyatt, jackharlow, g_eazy, and 9,557,355 others

yourusername Yo te lo hago en la cama, también te lo hago en el jet ✈️ 😈

View all 2,300 comments

jackharlow What the? You were literally just upstairs. Where are you going?

jackharlow Where are the kids? And who’s hands are those???

druski I think she’s ignoring you.

jackharlow FUCK OFF DRU.

claybornharlow Mom doesn’t have the kids btw so stop blowing up her phone, she’s sleeping.

jackharlow 🤨

yourbestiename Bitchhhh para donde vas?

yourusername Buscando una aventura 😜

g_eazy 🔥 🥵 Are you finally single?

yourusername LMAAOOO, what are you doing back under my comments Gerardo???

g_eazy 🎯 Trying to get at you girl

yourusername 👎🏼

•

Liked by yourbestiename, urbanwyatt, jackharlow, claybornharlow, druski, and 8,677,455 others

yourusername Before the day ends, I want to wish my baby boy a happy birthday. We celebrated his birthday last weekend but I’m still spoiling him with a trip to a dinosaur museum so he’s super happy about that. Ezequiel, you’re the most kindhearted, loving, funny little boy ever. You make me the happiest mama. I love you my sweet boy 💙

View all 1,400 comments

yourbestiename Feliz cumpleaños al niño más consentido del mundo. We love you Angel Ezequiel 😘 have fun beba

yourusername Gracias bebe 💖

claybornharlow 🥺 they grow up so fast. happy birthday little man

claybornharlow btw can you answer your husbands texts and calls. He keeps annoying us.

yourusername LMAO

druski Happy birthday little terror. I can’t believe your dad missed your party.

yourusername All of you did though soooo???

claybornharlow Not me wtf

yourusername Except you and mamamaggie <3

claybornharlow Because we actually look at our calendar!!!!!!

yourusername LMAO

jackharlow I thought we were taking him together? What is going on right now????

user damn jack you forgot your own kids birthday????

jackharlow Shut up Katie

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, mamamaggie, claybornharlow, druski, yourbestiename, and 8,688,345 others

jackharlow Happiest of birthdays to my little man, my twin for life. He amazes me every day with his thoughtfulness and all the love he give out at such a young age. I’ll admit it to all of y’all, I missed his birthday party last weekend and it broke my heart when I came home to see my boy so heartbroken, so I have a lot of making up to do. Started with throwing him ANOTHER party and getting him these Pokemon cards he’s been wanting. This is day one of plenty surprises to come ☝🏼

View all 2,300 comments

urbanwyatt Happy birthday little dude.

neelamthadhani getting those cards in such a short time was a hassle. Never again please

mamamaggie My baby, happy birthday to the coolest little boy.

druski thanks for the invite. Where is y/n at though? I miss her .

jackharlow Why are you being messy?

druski This isn’t anything new so I’m confused, you thought I’d be nice because 😭

yourbestiename *starts eating popcorn* Yeah, where is Y/N at?

yourusername 👀 🤫

•

Liked by g_eazy, badbunnypr, killatrav, druski, jackharlow, yourbestiename, and 8,567,355 others

yourusername Not this random number texting me that! But yes, I do need a dog!!!!!

View all 2,399 comments

yourbestiename Güey no mms 😭

yourusername No estoy haciendo nada!!!!

yourbestiename Hmm, ándale pues tóxica.

badbunnypr 🔥 🥵 yo puedo ser tú perro

yourbestiename Noo, regrésate con la vela

yourusername AY YOO LMAOOO

g_eazy It was I 🤫😜😈

yourusername Then nvm I don’t need a dog!

druski LMAAAOOO

user Y/N has been petty since Monday, I guess she’s really upset that Jack missed the party.

user I would too.

jackharlow My wife is sexy as fuck 😮‍💨 🧱

•

Liked by yourusername, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, mamamaggie, and 8,766,345 others

jackharlow Weekend with my minis ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

View all 2,699 comments

mamamaggie My babies 🥺

user okay Daddy day care

user do you want a trophy?

user mr missing my kids birthday party

yourusername You guys need to chill.

allabouttheharlows Ohhh sooo they were at the courts all day because y/n posted some pics at night and look Jack posted during the day so they were definitely together.

jackharlow We’re married, why wouldn’t we be together?

user because she was being petty online and entertaining Gerald

yourusername Because I was mad.

yourusername Let me be toxic and stir shit up when my man gets me pissed off🤫

yourbestiename She’s just like me fr 😜

jackharlow & y’all are annoying.

yourusername Not so much now Jackman, still not forgiven you completely so chill.

jackharlow 🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨

•

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[alexanderlightweight]

Hi Lumine! First I just wanted to let you know I love your fics so much!!! Especially This Eldritch Delight, it makes me grin like a lunatic everytime I read it!

For the prompt, I was wondering something in the Eldritch Delight AU where Alec is in Alicante for some meeting or something and forgot his parasol and he's just chatting on the phone with Magnus, glaring at the sun when Magnus makes it rain acid in Alicante for his darling's not so delicate skin. All nephilim running around because 'wtf acid rain!? Did the demon towers fail!?' and Alec's just standing in the street blushing because Magnus is so sweet to him.

hey!!! thank you so much!! also I'm so glad to hear that because i grin like a lunatic while i'm writing it

here we go! i hope you enjoy how i went with it

^_^

lumine

-

A fire message flickers into existence and Alexander catches it, letting the flames flicker at his skin with a dreamy sigh before he blows away the embers and reads the message.

“My mother needs me to come help her with the menagerie. It seems the runes are wearing off and a few of them wandered out and into the woods. Mother is a bit worried about that, considering the werewolf pack out there.” Alexander sighs, “she says she’d miss the song of their howls if they get eaten.”

Magnus frowns, because they’d had plans and he hates the thought of losing even a second of time with his fiancé. It’s quite the hindrance how carefully Alexander’s Institute keeps track of him. They always seem to know where he’s supposed to be, which means Magnus can rarely steal him away. The last time he did, Alexander was inundated with frantic fire messages and calls, begging him not to go exploring on his own unless it was in a rift.

Which Alexander has promised to no longer do, unless of course he wants to take a picnic. Magnus wouldn’t mind rift-diving for a few hours, but it gets terribly tedious and he has much better ways to help Alexander avoid the clave.

“Well, that is a terrible pity, why such a pout my love?” Alexander pouts even more at being called out for his sulk and it’s so ghoulishly sweet that Magnus has to pepper kisses to his pouting lips. Alexander finally relents, sighing against Magnus’ caresses.

“It’s midmorning in Alicante, Magnus. It’ll be hot and bright and there will be dozens of them running about.” Magnus blinks for a moment, before he remembers that’s how his love refers to non-shadowhunter nephilim… actually all non-Institute nephilim.

“My heart—” Magnus purrs and he reaches out to pet Alexander’s hair away from his face. “I’ll summon you a portal straight to Alicante and hand you a shade myself before I leave you to your duties.”

The adoring, covetous and hungry look Alexander is giving him is enough that Magnus wishes they could postpone Alexander’s departure, however he doubts that will go over well with Alexander’s mother and Magnus is… trying.

The portal is simple enough but when they step through, Magnus frowns up at the sky. It is rather obscenely bright and not in a fun way. In the kind of way that made you wish your eyes would water to cleanse yourself of the vision.

Alexander looks miserable and it breaks Magnus’ heart, it’s without a thought that he changes his original plan and instead of merely summoning storm clouds to shield his love, he calls up the power of Edom instead.

It’s with a whisper and then a voiceless howl that Magnus realigns the skies themselves, calling the moon back and around as he uses his magic to change the speed of the earth as he demands the moon block the sun.

The entire world screams in agony for a breathless moment of non-understanding and then it’s like nothing happened.

Nothing except for the moon, now blocking the sun.

“A shade for you, beloved.” Magnus murmurs, blood on his tongue and Alexander is staring at him and then he’s being kissed. It’s a delighted, gleeful,

Alicante is panicking around them, unaware that it was Magnus or magic that called the moon into play, only horrified at the unexpected eclipse. There were orders to check on the demon towers and shouts as they tried to organize themselves into something of a defense.

Magnus steps back through his portal, to his lair lacking his fiancé and scowls, glaring at the walls which are suddenly lacking anything truly horrific.

[silvertws]

Ok but can we quickly remember how in Empires S1 Pearl fought a demon for FUN???? FOR FUN. LIKE- GIRLYPOP- MAN I LOVED HER CHAOTIC ENERGY SO MUCH- pretty sure that's when she became my favorite lol-

You have no idea how much I wished for S1Pearl to have a chaotic evil arc- I even had an idea where in S2 instead of being yk, a GOD APPARENTLY??? GIRLY SLAYED SO HARD SHE BECAME A LITERAL CELESTIAL BEING???

Like in my head, I just have this, corrupted Pearl in mind, cause, think about it. I would have NOT need surprised if she joined Xornoth in S1 just for the thrill. Like just to cause so chaos. Ofc she didn't but like??? The opportunity was there.

Also also, imagine if instead of actually dying, she kinda got reincarnated? Like instead of becoming a Goddes she just rose up like a phoenix??? But a whitered one??? That would seek revenge on Sausage for causing her demise when he connected her to her land????? Hello???? Like it would have been such a funky interaction NGL. Imagine if the God thing was still there, so Sausage did keep her memory alive as the form of a Goddess, but INSTEAD of a Goddess of like, harvest (I like forgot what she is about cuz NGL, she gives me so much Athena and Artemis vibes mixed up with some Demeter) she was like a being of Chaos and nightmares?? Like hello?? Corrupted Pearl arc when??? (This is all said in a light hearted way DW)

Anyway.

The fact that when I make funky "what if" in my head, I never know if Pearl should be a hero or a villain, cause like, love her vibes, but she's honestly the embodiment of chaotic neutral so.. like I was thinking of a Star wars au, (that I'm never gonna make seriously) and I was thinking about her arc, which would probably be something like, Padawan, then boom gets left behind, sith, then boom, fuck that, gray Jedi (don't come for me ik gray jedis aren't canon but wtf am I supposed to call her??) So like, blue lightsaber to red to white.

I have no idea how this post got to Star Wars honestly.

But at his point you all should be used to my posts not making any logical sense whatsoever.

[mynameisnotsoda]

Lore dumping my fnaf au

I just remembered that I inserted myself and my best friend into the au for funsies (you'll notice I do that a lot. This is how cringe I am)

In my first draft I went on a rant abt how much I hated Wilbur's face but after going back to fix it I just needed to add his glasses LMAO. Initially I forgot about the face paint until I stared at my ref LMAO it's supposed to look faded and I think I did a pretty damn good job

Other than that the rest is fine. Erm. I didn't think I'd yap so much about that the actual lore is below the cut lawl

This is Maya!!!! (she/they) she's the mechanic in the pizzaplex, is addicted to caffeine, and is my bestest friend !!!!!! In the au we live together and also work at the same place that's so funny ‼️‼️

They usually work the night shift but if there needs to be emergency repairs during the day they're always on call for that. Nights usually consist of checkups and clean up of the animatronics and androids (will get into that later).

Clearly, I have a favorite, so he's also my favorite in the au itself LMAO cSoda works in the daycare but often leaves to bother the animatronics ☝️☝️‼️‼️

the daycare has an art station so that's where they work, they also help clean up and watch over the kids with the daycare androids !!! Who are *drumroll* Mumbo and Grian !!!!

(I forgot the makeup in this doodle,, and apparently the white stripe on the red part of the dress uggghh) the daycare androids are supposed to be more human looking to not scare the little kids, but cartoony (and tall) enough to differentiate from the human coworker. I like to imagine their faces are rly simple bc they're LED screens with projected expressions to make emotions n stuff. Plus I wanted to keep their faces similar to their skins with an in universe reason for it pfsjshgdhdh

Tumblr keeps bugging out every time I wanna post and it's DRIVING ME INSANE !!!! half this post got deleted and I'm SO MAD ABOUT IT but anyway here's the refs I made like 2 years ago. Their designs haven't changed since I made them so I probably won't remake them unless I start hating my old art enough LMAO

The canon heights I never wrote down so here they are: Ranboo 8'0, Wilbur 7'2, Maya 5'4, I'm 5'7, Grian 7'0, Mumbo 8'0, James 7'0, Tommy 6'6, Jimmy 5'5 and Schlatt wasnt in the AU at the time but he's 6'4

I didnt really make this au for anything except silly scenarios and because making the designs were fun pFF ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION Sneeg is dj music man !!!! I never got around to drawing him before since I just figured out recently I wanted him to be dj music man so yeah !!

I know this isn't that much of a lore dump but I think I got all my thoughts out for now lawl everything will be under the animatronicfication au tag :v

I have GOT to draw Wilbur the way I used to. The biblically accurate animatronic eyes do NOT look good in my art style 😭😭 also I just noticed I basically painted the same thing into my sketchbook wtf I completely forgot about this doodle until I found it after digging for au art 🤯🤯

[starlightiing]

In junction actually, who yearns more? Do your pierresteban fit the Fell First, Fell Harder trope? How do you imagine their dynamic and is it super different between aus

PHEWWWW It kind of changes from AU to AU depending on what their relationship is/was.

But like, a good example would be the car crash fic I'm writing which is NOT an AU, it takes place in the real world (the RPF real world, a playhouse). In it, Esteban gets a phone call late one night informing him of an accident Pierre was in in Austin, TX just a few days before COTA - he's at his hotel with his boyfriend (yes I gave him a boyfriend here shh) when he gets the call and he's like WTF MAN I DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT PIERRE RIGHT NOW

But It's funny, because Pierre forgot to change his emergency contacts when they broke up. And so Esteban and Gabriel get up and go to the hospital and once Esteban identifies himself, he's given the low-down on Pierre who is in all honestly HARDLY alive at this point. And there's this spiral of events where Esteban goes in to see Pierre, and while he's visiting, Pierre goes into cardiac arrest right in front of him and there's this whole trauma of having to watch them bring Pierre back --

And it makes his brain sort of just remember what they were, what they had, why they aren't anymore, but how much he wants to be. And there's a LOT of yearning. A LOT. But Pierre is unconscious for 90% of the fic and when he wakes up, he simply wakes up very hurt and has no idea everything Esteban has been through in the process. So he's still sort of 'ugh Esteban' until Charles explains to him everything Esteban did for him while he was in a coma and yeah.

So like, for that situation, it was HIGHLY situational. Fell first fell harder doesn't really work there but I would say if it did, Pierre fell first, Esteban fell harder. But Esteban takes home the trophy for yearning.

In some AU's, the barely know each other, or they've just met for the first time, so it's a pretty clean slate. Thinking specifically about my Android and Jurassic AUS -

Android: They just meet for the first time. Pierre is an android, Esteban falls first. Pierre definitely falls harder. Esteban is the yearner again.

Jurassic: They've known each other a while but not WELL, just sort of in passing. Esteban falls first, Pierre falls harder. Esteban has had a little thing for Pierre for quite some time, Pierre doesn't really think about Esteban until they're forced into working together to get off the island and then it hits him like a ton of bricks. In that one, Esteban is still the yearner.

So there's a pattern here it seems. My Estebans are very yearny LOL And they tend to fall first more often than not.

As for Dynamic - that very much again depends on the au. If we're talking real life, I can give my two cents on that as well but it's not very exciting. But dynamic for the fics just depends, really. They almost ALWAYS have some sort of general abrasiveness and annoyance with each other, but it tends to resolve itself (or at least become easier to deal with as they progress)

That was a lot of words, I'm sorry, I am wordy when it comes to these two absolute assholes.

[complete-idiot-in-love]

Once Upon a Witchlight: Episode 50 (SPOILERS AHEAD)

I'm so sad that I have to wait now for the next episode, how will I survive without my goofy bitches found family???

Sorry that this one's extra long, I added in some pre and post episode comments uwu

Final episode before I have to wait :(

OOOOOO FANART INTRO!!!!!

THE GANG AS POKEMON OMG YES!!!!

Are they gonna be streaming on Youtube now or was this a one time thing? (I hope they stream on youtube)

I want to join the Discord so badly but my social anxiety won’t let me :(

Derek is back! Frost must’ve got over his IBS!

Soundboard noises (Of course Derek does the best one lmao)

I love all the funny noises and voices they do, I wish I was as vocally talented as them

YOOOOOO, THEY’RE GUESTS AT PAX!!! SO PROUD OF THEM, WISH I COULD GO

Mikey’s sweater looks so soft, I wonder where he got it (I fuckin LOVE sweaters fr fr)

The ring of chaos one-shot was so good, I love Joetetee and wish he could come back

Mikey gaslighting people with a FNAF reference is so damn funny, he truly is a gaslight girlboss while Torbek is a girlfailure

I WOULD TOTALLY WATCH A MUPPET MOVIE WITH THEM, I FUCKIN LOVE THE MUPPETS

Mikey says “Here we go” when Rich mentions the muppet movies like my friends when I gush over my hyperfixations lmao, Rich definitely has talked about this before ALSO FUCK U DISNEY FOR STOPPING THE MUPPETS FROM MAKING MORE MOVIES, THOSE ARE COMEDY GOLD

I’m glad they all switch positions and don’t make one person a perma-DM :)

I actually have a bugbear character from waaay back in 2018 so if Torbek makes the race popular I’d be VERY appreciative. They’re one of my favorite races along with satyrs fr fr

 “Torbek’s bringing sexy back” HAHA

DEREK IS FULL-TIME AVANTRIS, DOES THIS MEAN ALL 6 OF EM WORK FOR AVANTRIS AND WON’T MISS A SESSION ANYMORE?? FROST CAN FINALLY HAVE A GUYS NIGHT!!!

Twin dads with man buns /j

Mikey keeps using his Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss actions to get more people to watch the ring of chaos one shot, very funny :)

Derek is a #gamer fr fr

“Derek is bussing fr fr”

Grinko Gladfrown, Mourning Font, Krepe Lacroix, Thorbek and Giddyon Charcoal /j

Andy doing his dancy dance in the background is so gender fr fr

I love these goofy bitches, they’ve spent hour doing NOTHING but I don’t mind cause they’re hilarious

I would love a studio tour, their cables probably look like spaghetti but their knick knacks are probably so poggers looking

I CAN WATCH THEM AT PAX ON TWITCH ON THE 1ST??? YOOOOOOOOOO I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!

Rich SHOULD DM someday, I bet he’d do a great job

Finally we’re getting bean footage after an hour of jokes but I honestly wouldn’t care if they made a 4 hour video of just them fuckin around

We finally met Will and he’s got a knife! “What do you have?” “A KNIFE!” “NOOO”

OH SHIT, HE CALLED KREMY A CROC

Favorite comment: “​forgot how much I love torbek, he's like a wet cat that has alcohol poisoning”

All the little “Friend on the other side” References Kremy does just strengthens my belief that he’s based off the movie

Emergency broadcast: Five fully grown men are arguing with a literal child

Carnival Lecroux need a swear jar fr fr /j

“We could totally murder a horde of kids” FROSTY WTF???

Frost “flossing” and Kremy + Gricko talking about VBucks is so damn funny, more interactions for my Actor AU fr fr /j

MIKEY ACTUALLY GOT A HAT FOR WHEN GRICKO DOES THE 45 DEGREE BODY TILT OMFG

“You can call me Morning Floss!” “I wish I was dead!” SAME KREMY, SAME

“All of you are so damn embarrassing, you’re lucky I love y’all” - My S/I with their head in their hands

KREMY NO, DON’T OFFER KIDS ALCOHOL!!!!

Kremy and Gideon spiking their Sierra Mountain Mist is so canon. My S/I would totally try to drink with them but be absolutely disgusted at the mixture

Kremy and Gideon are drunk lmao

“FR FR, THIS DRINK BE SKIBIDI PHANTOM TAX ON GOD!” WHAT???? I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR SKIBIDI AND PHANTOM TAX, IS GRICKO DRUNK TOO???? “This ain’t no Ohio drink. You a straight rizzler fr fr, giving me this skibidi drink” GRICKO PLEASE, STOP!!!

“We don’t know what children like, we ran a carnival” HAHA, GOOD ONE FROSTY

These dudes should never interact with children /j

“Y’all’re so weak lmao, straight up unpogger girlfailures. You definitely let people diss your fly girls” - My S/I messing with them because they’re a gremlin

“We’re both trying to protect our found family” HE SAID THE THING OMFG, KREMY SAID THE THING!!!!! MY S/I WOULD BE SO FUCKIN HAPPY TO KNOW THAT THEIR DAD ACTUALLY SEES THEM AS FAMILY!!!

IS MORNING MIST POISON??? ARE WE GONNA DIE????

These fuckers got a whole side campaign of quests to do /j

Wouldn’t Bavlorna’s place be better than Yon? She’s the one that likes children after all

“What is gyatt? What is amogus?” Hootsie and I are very much in the cringe zone as the only two party members young enough to understand the slang Gricko is using

TORBEK IS CURSED TO BE A(R/U)TISTIC!! (We would draw pictures together fr fr uwu)

Gideon is a coward, he’s turned into Torbek! /j

Kremy is a kleptomaniac (So basically the same lmao)

Rich with the 80’s rad hat is so funny for some reason??

Frost is forced to confess to doing bad things even if he has to lie about em (He’s a masochist lmao)

Gricko is magnetic and got stuck to Torbek’s back HAHA

Gideon’s a cowardly vampire LMAO

“DON’T CUT GRICKO’S THROAT, TORBEK’S NOT DONE DRAWING HIM YET” HAHAHAHAHA

Why are they always trying to kill Gricko??? It’s funny but weird

WERE-GATOR KREMY RETURNS!!!!!

New favorite comments: “Werewolf thief and a cowardly vampire, what a pair” and “Avantris News: Four adult men sacrifice a green child to appease child gods”

NAT 20 TO ATTACK TORBEK FROM KREMY BUT NIKKIE DREADED IT

My S/I would be so confused at this chaos, I’d probably over with Hootsie and Juniper knitting because they don’t drink soda or alcohol (Based off myself irl)

“These fucking dumbasses, they’re lucky I’m sane in these moments” - My S/I

So excited to see Torbek’s masterpiece

Carnivale lecroux is spelled the fancy way, makes sense for someone like Kremy to spell his business like that (I’ll probably forget and still spell it carnival tho)

I love just listening to them talk about movies with each other, it's really nice :)

Nikkie hoarding mementos from witchlight behind the DM screen is so sweet!

UNICORN OUTFIT FOR KREMY?????

HAHA KREMY GOT THROWN OUT OF LITTLE OAK

GRICKO, STOP DRINKING THE POOP WATER!!!!

When TORBEK is disgusted by you, you know you fucked up!!

Oh thank the gods, it was a prank by will

CANDY??? TORBEK AND I WANT CANDY!!!!!

Besties who share a sweet tooth and trauma/abandonment issues stay besties forever

“The water in the pool does more than just quench your thirst!” “NOT ANYMORE” Gideon/Torbek unison joke!!!

I love Nikkie and her horde of dolls :)

“I also agree with Torbek, we need to kill that bitch of a hag!” - My S/I

TELL US THE STORY ABOUT THE WENDY’S BATHROOM WHEN Y'ALL WENT TO GENCON

Gricko got the diarrhea this episode lmao

“Fill up squirt” sounds so suggestive

Empty capri sun Gricko is so funny

DISPLACER BEAST KITTY!!!!! YES!!!!!

How many days/nights have these guys been in Prismeer? 4? 5? 6? (The only times I remember them sleeping is: Night at the inn, Frog palace, Mushroom forest high, Pixie camp sleepover, Jabberwock death and now here at little oak)

If Torbek was gone for an hour and that was five years, most of these kid’s parents probably don’t even realize they’ve been kidnapped and are missing

It’s canon to me that my S/I and Torbek sleep on a pile on the floor like Gricko does with Hootsie (Besties with abandonment issues and a love of physical affection uwu)

Who the hell names their kids Bongo and Flute???

My S/I Canonically knows Goblin but I feel like they wouldn’t tell Gricko or Torbek cause they like to eavesdrop in those two’s dumbass conversations lmao

BONGOLLOMEW??????

“Skibidi on god” “fr fr no cap” “BUSSIN!!” I’ve changed my mind, I hate these people /j

DO I ACTUALLY GET TO LISTEN TO AVANTRIS AND CHILL??? POGGGGERS!!!

Gricko turns into a milkshake via Frosty’s mage hand /j

THEY ORDERED $400 WORTH OF PIZZA FOR THE RING OF CHAOS ONE SHOT???? THATS SO FUCKIN MUCH, MACE!

Nikkie loves Fortnite and that makes me happy bc I like Fortnite

Thank you Derek for teaching me waterdrop and breaking nose sound effect :)

[ut-girl666]

2 Ideas for Hound

idk if anyone else has seriously done this, beside that one humanformers one, I follow, I forgot their name- wait, the person who made the Ties That Bind AU, that person! But besides them, idk if anyone has done it, and I thought it was really clever/cool especially after rewatching some of those famous dog vines.

1. Hound as Mirage’s bodyguard.

Idk, I just really like the important person/bodyguard trope sometimes, and they feel like a perfect fit, since Mirage is established to be a noblemech, so I can imagine in his teen years his dad picked one out for him, with help from his own bodyguard, who was top of the guardsmen. And that brilliant option that fit next to Mirage so perfectly for his performance and personality, just so happened to be Hound!

Of course, Mirage wasn’t all that happy about it at first. He didn’t feel like he needed a bodyguard. He didn’t really leave the place often, especially not without either Guardscale - his father’s bodyguard - or both him and Riverclash - his father - going as well. The most he usually did was take a walk in the garden. Why in god’s name would he need a bodyguard for that?? Especially when their manor was so secure?

But eventually he warms up to Hound. Hound is both very well suited for his performance to be at his side, vigilantly protecting him from any perceived threat, and manages to be fairly good company, with how attentive to Mirage as he is.

So Mirage slowly warms up to him, and eventually, decides that perhaps he’s not so bad. They end up becoming tedious friends at first, which is a bond that grows closer with time. And he makes it quite clear that Hound, is in fact, his. So Hound fits right in with them.

And even later on, through when they become Autobots, Hound maintains that Bodyguard role for Mirage, and is usually at his side, or at least, where one is, the other is usually never far.

So maybe just generally Bodyguard/Charge dynamic with Hound & Mirage in general? But I think it’d be fun. :).

2. Hound as an actual Turbohound Beastformer/Predacon.

But, like, it’s a modification he had added, so it’s kind of like being a triple changer, y’feel me?

Usually right after transforming from turbohound mode, he still has his tail out, and turbohound audials showing, and his legs are still bent and look like a dog’s hind legs. So it’s obvious to some degree that he may be a predacon/beastformer.

So sometimes he’ll just hang out as a turbohound.

Sometimes he likes to play the idea that oh, yeah, he’s just a dog. Some dog. He’s a very well behaved, albeit mischievous at times, but quite a polite, well behaved dog. He usually does that when just wants to chill, and listen to things, rather than be all involved. He’s a good boy. Other times, he’ll actually act like a proper guard/service dog with Mirage as his ‘handler’. But it’s not often he does that unless he actually feels like it.

On base, some people will actually mistake him for just some random turbohound, wandering around. On earth, people are like wtf, how did a turbohound get down here?? And on Cybertron people are calling pest control, or trying to shoo him off.

And usually either Mirage has to show up, or he has to transform and show ‘bitch, I’m a spec.ops.’ Though most likely he’ll wear some loose little collar like accessory around, to make sure people realize, ‘oh, it’s Hound/oh, I should talk to Mirage first.’

Just thought those are some fun ideas to play with.

[yostresswritinggirl]

Niwa’s lover finds out and punishes him with no kisses for a week. He is a man starved. Dying. Withering. He’d rather face the Almighty Shogun than this. Kabuki-mewmew pleads for leniency on his father’s behalf.

Niwa thoughts. He’s got broad shoulders and excellent arms from all that lifting and smithing. He carries his lover and you can see the shoujo manga sfx. Flowers? Blooming. Hearts? Beating. Lovemaking with him should be called babysmithing. Can’t have weak pull out game if he doesn’t pull out in the first place. Typically squeezes their thigh when he’s in the mood. Otherwise, always has a hand on their hip. Less horny is that he fixates on his partner for that reason. He can see a future with them and wants to be together for as long as they draw breath. He would like to have kids. Biological or adopted, he will love them. A true family man. Very upfront about what he wants and is pretty understanding.

The fact that I can see Tighnari befriending Niwa’s lover in modern au has me in stitches. Really, he sees the partners of the Babeblades and decides that they are friends. Besties. These people? Can be trusted. His favorite bitches to bitch about bitches with. (I have a stemless wine glass with that on it.)

Anyway. Viktor. Has no family back in the homeland. Just wants to buy stuff for the memories. Last I checked, he was stationed in Sumeru. He even carves wood. Friendship with Childe ended. Viktor is my new Fatui sussy boy. NPC fucker era. Steadily adding more simps to romance.

Bloom anon

*Insert Niwa in babygirl poses* And also this for Niwa the whole time he was punished, he was so gloomy and uncharacteristically silent that everyone in Tatarasuna was creeped out and worried, Kabukimono had to beg and kneel for forgiveness to them to forgive Niwa and not be so harsh. And Niwa's lover didn't even think it was that big of a deal until they saw their lover look so soulless, as if dehydrated for days

"To think you could be so evil..." "Me?! Evil?!" "Worse than the Shogun..." "The Shogun?!?!?"

Oh oh you know what Niwa reminds me of!! Finnian from Black Butler! Super strong babygirl, he picks them up so nonchalantly that it's comical, like "oh careful there's a gap on the stairway up to the furnace" and he just picks them up in one arm and hops over like wtf - oh yes yes sorry, the shoujo part yes yes the lovemaking too PFFT

It's also very important to keep the bloodline going for the future of Tatarasuna and the continuation of the Isshin Arts yeah! But ahhh family man Niwa is such a nice and cozy headcanon, just wanting a comfortable life for his family, a normal family for once

Omayghad Tighnari hahaha he's always befriending them that's true, he really just gets along with anyone at this point (maybe not so much with Kazuha's lover since they're more focused on being nomadic and surviving, he'd be more in line with Kazuha haha)

Speaking of Viktor, huh is he in Sumeru for me, I kinda forgot - he might actually not be, I need to work on that. But I'm glad you're hyperfixating on him, let's just hope this ain't some red herring shit that Hoyo uses in the future to break our hearts

[olivers-cocoapuffs]

greetings and salutations

in today's news here at evanderisoffhishead.net: I have always said I'm atheist but also like paganism, i am writing horror stories to scare little children, I forgot to post any of my memory loss au for Elton and Orion, I'm eating a lemon ice pole, I'm doing this now because I'm worried I'm going to forget.

(wtf its called lemonade not lemon?? what's the difference?)

how's your day been?

that's not the question. just a general question you are welcome to answer.

the actual question:

do you like Greek mythology?

follow up: what is your favourite story you've heard about?

alternatively: just tell me a fairy tale you like

(me: I love Orpheus and Eurydice and Echo)

ello ello I have the same Pagan v Atheist fight with myself nearly everyday (I’m an atheist though) I get that children are annoying but?? Yum, they’re my favourite

it’s 7:50 am and I’ve already been yelled at this morning so, alright I guess?

I do! (Although Norse mythology is my favourite)

my favourite Greek story is the story of Persephone, Hades and Deméter

(my favourite Norse one is the one where Thor dresses as Freya to get his hammer back)