#i forgot about that (← blocked it out to cope)

[queermasculine]

watching shows from the 2000s is like Wow! they really didn't let a woman on tv back then unless she was skinny and plucked her brows

[starkeynation]

I love you, I’m sorry

A letter from reader to Rafe

Content: Angst, like PURE sad, the lamp looks weird, based on the song I love you, I’m sorry by Gracie Abrams (may or may not be accurate)

A/N: about that cliffhanger and happy ending, I changed my mind… also ignore any writing mistakes if there’s any and this was kinda rushed so I hope it still turns out good

Masterlist

dividers from @anitalenia

Rafe,

It is Saturday night. I should be out doing something, partying or whatever to enjoy myself, yet here i am, pen in hand, finding myself writing to you again. I know this letter will never reach you- it’ll end up crumpled at the bottom of my drawer or burned to ashes. Still, I can’t seem to stop myself.

It has been exactly two august ago since everything fell apart. I remember the way I laid it all out, raw, I wanted to be real, hoping that honesty would mend us. We weren’t perfect. Hell, we were far from it. We fought like fire and gasoline, burning everything we touched. Jealousy leads us to mistrust each other but even then, I didn’t think it would end the way it did. I never thought that fight would be the last..the final, devastating blow before you ghosted me and blocked me everywhere.

I swear it wasn’t my intention to break up with you, I thought by exposing the cracks, we could patch them together. Instead, the truth just ended up pushing you away. When you drove off in your Benz and left me standing at my gate, it felt like everything had stopped. The time, the world, my heart…everything froze. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to scream, I wanted to stop you, beg you to stay, to tell you that we could still save us but you didn’t look back, and i was too late.

Now, i watch you from a distance as you become successful, helping your dad doing business, running Cameron’s development like you were born to do it. I heard your name whispered in admiration at the club where I work, how you charm people the way you trained for. And you know what? I’m so so proud of you Rafe. I always knew you had it in you. I’ll be rooting for you always, even from the shadows.

Maybe two summers from now we’ll be talking again at some point, exchange smiles, our lives untangled and we’re cool again. I can picture you’ll be in your family’s jet, travelling, and me, on my boat moving on with our own lives. By then, i hope..im actually ready to move on. I know you’ve already moved on- I mean, why wouldn’t you? Still, there’s part of me wish that you wouldn’t yet, and maybe, just maybe, you would take me back.

But that’s just selfish isn’t it? I was selfish when we were together too. I made everything about me, i was inconsiderate, I turn something small into raging battles. I didn’t listen, didn’t see you for who you were. I’m ashamed of the person I was, of the mistakes I made. After everything i did, I’m surprised you haven’t send someone to kill me yet.

Lately I find myself sitting on the porch, watching sunsets like we used to, with a glass of something strong in my hand. I laugh at myself, at the crash I made, because what else can I do? It’s a twisted kind of coping—laughing at my own heartbreak. It doesn’t feel real and it’s really hard to let go but i guess that’s just the way life goes.

I know i was a dick, Rafe. I had too many flaws to count but as sick as it sounds, I loved you first. You’ll always be my first love. You were the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me, a storm that left me shattered but alive. Your love had impact me deeply, it is carved in my soul. No matter where we are, i want you to know that I’ll carry the past and the weight of my mistakes with me. Trust me, it will always, haunt me.

I regret every second for not treating you well, for not being the person you needed. Lastly, i want you to know that I still, truly, deeply, love you, I’m sorry.

*Ding* you heard the bell rings. You rush downstairs to answer the door.

“Pizza delivery”, says the delivery boy standing in front of you. You almost forgot you ordered one, an hour ago. You take your prepaid alfredo chicken pizza and thank him. It was Rafe’s favourite pizza, you’re not sure if it’s still his favourite though. After shutting the door, you walk to your kitchen.

Just two seconds later, *ding* the bell rings again. Did the delivery boy forget anything? You thought.

You open the door, “yes-“ you pause. You couldn’t believe it, standing right in front of you,

“Topper?”

“Topper what are you doing here?” you ask, your voice laced with confusion.

He then steps aside and reveals a man behind him, lying on the steps of your porch- a man whose silhouette you’d recognize anywhere. “Rafe,” you whisper.

“Shit I’m sorry to bother you but this dumbass got into an accident for driving while he’s high,” Topper blurts out, panickly.

Your brow furrowing and your confusion deepens. You walk closer to Rafe and spot the blood dripping from his head, “Accident? What? Then why do you bring him here instead of the hospital?” You ask, your voice sharp, slicing through the chaos of the moment.

“He won’t let me. He insisted I bring him here to see you,” Topper explains.

“Y/n,” Rafe speaks up, his voice low and strained.

Your heart skips a beat. It’s like the universe has stopped spinning again. This is the first time you hear him calling your name after two whole years.

“Hey Rafe, you’re bleeding,” you say, your voice mix with feelings.

“I’m fine,” he says, giving a soft, disarming smile while trying to sit up.

You instruct Topper to go find some cloth to stop the bleeding. As he dissapears, you sit on your knees facing to Rafe, “Rafe, what happened? Why are you here?” you ask, still have no clue of what’s going on here.

“I wanted to see you,” he replies, putting on that damn smile again, the one that’s always managed to unravel you. “I miss you, y/n.”

Your face goes pale, your eyes widens, the words hang in the hair, heavy and unexpected. “Rafe, you’re drunk,” you accuse, trying to make sense of what’s happening right now.

“No, I’m not, i swear I’m very conscious right now,” he insists, his voice firm. You’re still not sure if he’s telling the truth or not. “I really miss you, y/n,” he continues, his voice low but still clear for you to hear it.

Your heart aches, torn between disbelief and the undeniable pull of his words. “How hard did you hit your head? God, you’re still bleeding. We need to see a doctor,” you say, trying to stand up, but he grabs your hand, pulling you back down.

“Stop it, I’m fine i swear…this is nothing,” he says waving off the concern. Just then, Topper returns with a towel in his hand. He hands the towel to you and says, “dude, are you sure you’re okay? When i saw your car there were smokes everywhere. Looks like you hit that tree pretty hard,” his voice fill with concern.

“I’m fine Top, just go. I need to talk to y/n,” Rafe says with a dismissive wave. Topper hesitates, he looks at you for confirmation as if you’re the one in charge here. You nod at him, signalling an approval, “s’okay Top i can handle this.”

“Okay, just call me if anything happens,” he says. “Thank you,” you mutter softly to Topper as he’s leaving towards his car.

With Topper gone, you shift your focus back to Rafe. You take the towel and start dabbing on the blood on his forehead, “we still need to get this stitched up,” you say. Rafe then grabs your wrist, his grip firm but not forceful, “look at me,” he demands.

You look at him straight in the eyes, drowning in his blue eyes. It’s overwhelming- staring at the man that you love but no longer yours.

“I do mean what i said, i miss you y/n and i wanted to see you,” he says, his tone steady and sure.

“But why now?” You ask, your voice breaking under the weight of the question.

“Sar..Sarah told me tonight that you’ve been writing letters about me. She found them stashed under your bed,” he says, hesitantly.

Your stomach drops and you shake your head in disbelief, “God…i knew it there was something wrong. She was acting so weird when she left this morning,” you mutter.

“So it’s true? You’ve been writing about me?”

Your face is turning red, you’re struggling to find the words. “I- yes…I’ve been writing letters. Pretending like I’m gonna send it to you but i never do,” you stutter.

“Why didn’t you just send them?” He presses, his voice low, almost pleading.

“You know why Rafe…you’ve moved on. You blocked me few months after we broke up. You’re thriving now with your job, you got your whole life together, and I- I was the reason why we broke up. I can’t just crawl my way back into your life like nothing happened,” you shatter, your voice breaking as you’re struggling to control your tears.

Rafe shakes his head. He brushes his thumb over your knuckles and kisses it. “You’re wrong y/n, you’re absolutely wrong. I’ve been doing nothing over the past two years except than trying to forget about you. That’s why I’ve been doing all these jobs, thinking it could distract me, but no,” he shakes his head again. “Nothing could make me stop thinking about you.”

His confession leaves you breathless, your tears streaming down your face as he continues. “About the blocking and disappearing, I’m really sorry, I was a coward. The truth is, that day i came to your house to apologize. Then, as I stood outside, i saw you were laughing with jj through your window. I knew you guys were not together cause after jj left, I may or may not have confronted him…” he then mouthed sorry. “But then, I remember the way you looked so happy when you’re with him. At that time, I knew I had to let you go cause you deserve someone better and you deserve to be happy so that’s why I blocked you..as if that makes any difference.”

You idiot,” you scoff. “I never wanted anyone else, only you Rafe, only you. You’re the only one who could truly make me happy.”

His eyes glisten, his smile soft and hesitant. “Please forgive me y/n, I swear I’m a better person now and I love- I love you, so much. I still do.”

You reach up, caress his cheek and pull him in for a kiss. “I love you too Rafe,” you whisper. He cups your face and returns the kiss. The kiss is passionate, slow and tender. His lip is so soft and only god knows how much you miss this. The world fades around you, leaving only the two of you, two broken pieces finding their way back to each other.

You pull away from his face and let out a giggle. “Why are you laughing?” He asks, can’t help but let out a soft giggle too.

“Before you came I was actually writing another letter for you,” you admit, a shy smile appears on your face.

“Oh really? Tell me about it baby,” he smirks. Your smile widens at the sound of the nickname that rolls out from his mouth. “Mm I miss that. You, calling me baby. Anyways, it’s in my room, wanna come in?” You ask.

He shakes his head, pulling you closer as he leans back against the stairs railing. “Hmm in a bit sweetheart, you can tell me here while we stargaze. I missed your porch- and mostly you, of course,” he replies with a faint smile.

So you do. You talk to him about the letter while your head rest on his shoulder and your fingers intertwined. “Lastly I wrote, I love you, I’m sorry,” you say, explaining the last content of the letter. But then, you realise he has gone quiet. His stillness unsettling. You glance up to him, “Rafe?” He’s not responding. You check his pulse but there is none. Panic sets in as you shake him, calling his name.

“Rafe”

“Rafe, wake up”

“Wake up!”

“Wake up!”

“Y/n”

“Y/n”

“Y/n, wake up”

You gasp, your heart is pounding like a drum. You’re sweating all over your body as reality crashes down. It was a nightmare.

“Hey..baby you okay?” You turn your head to your right and realise it’s Rafe. He’s okay, he’s alive and he’s sitting on the bed next to you. Relief floods through you like a tidal wave.

“Is it the nightmare again?” He asks. You nod, signalling him that he’s right.

“It’s okay baby I got you. Here, come back to sleep,” he says, gently pulling you into his arms. You smile and cuddle him, clinging to the illusion of safety his embrace provides. You close your eyes again trying to fall back to sleep till your alarm suddenly rings.

You wake up with a tear running down your cheek. You hit the snooze button and realise that was a dream and this time, it’s the true reality. You look to the other side of your bed, it’s empty. It always has been for quite a while now. The truth is, that night after Rafe collapsed, you called for an ambulance. On the way to the hospital, they try everything to make his heart beat again, but nothing works. It was too late. He had lost too many blood before that you weren’t aware of and that same night, Rafe had died in your arms.

It’s been 3 years since the tragic. You keep having the same dream almost every night. Part of you is grateful that you and Rafe had ended in good terms but another part of you knows that the truth is you’ll never get the chance to redeem yourself and be a better partner. There’s nothing remaining other than the memories that will haunt you forever.

Rafe, if you’re hearing this, I love you, I’m sorry.

Like and reblog if you want to kys after reading this😇☺️

[jakesangel]

firsts w jake ꣑୧ - deep dive into new love w him

first hug

obviously you had share hugs w jake, but as the friendship flourished into further more, you both were too shy to hug again, even during the talking phase. but jake can not take it anymore. how did he went from having you so close to nothing at all ? he used to have you in his arms so many times in the past n now that he needs you the most, he cant ? because of his stupid embarrassment ? he just can't take it. you're worth taking the risk. so when he finally had the courage to ask you out, can i be your boyfriend ? n sees your flustered state, he would take you in a hug, the tightest n softest hug you both shared. he wouldn't let go, using it as a coping mechanism from his overflowing happiness but also wanting nothing but to keep you here in his arm. it would also be because he is too shy to back away, but seeing you not wanting to let go as well makes him even shyer, knowing the feeling he has for you are reciprocated.

first pet name

after a few days of dating, blue messages filled w heart emojis w his hand placed on his heart seeing your text, the honeymoon phase is hitting him hard. tho he still hasn't seen you since he asked you out, he needed wanted to see you and soon. are you free tonight, baby ? he'd text you, but as he realize he already used a pet name on you, he'd automatically turn off his phone afraid you might say no or even worse tell him you felt comfortable w it. that would make you fold, onbviously, and you wouldn't kno how it to answer it, nor how to react to it. but it didn't help jake who is waiting to hear to ting of your notification. he is only relieved when he'd see your funny keyboard smash n he'd think your cute, can't wait to see you tonight then, baby ;) he'd finish the convo, settling his phone on his chest, ridiculously already so down bad for you.

first kiss

as the date finishes goes by, walking side to side, hands almost touching, smile widely spread in each of you faces, jakes one would slowly decrease as he realizes that you arrived at the final destination : your front porch. he was so immersed in your heavenly laugh n your sweet scent, he completely forgot that he was walking you home. he still hasn't kissed you ? nor used a pet name on you irl ? the date cant already be done he needs wants to give you so much more !! i- i had lots of fun today, hed shyly say, his hands going to his fronts pockets, still unsure to call you how he wants to. i know it only had been a few days, but i really enjoy being your boyfriend, baby, he would then add, his eyes leaving yours. but they would immediately back on you, as he doesn't hear any reaction coming from you, only seeing your flustered mess, you cheeks' color matching his ears. so he'd remove his hands from his pockets, n come close to you, his shyness slowly fading away, you like that baby, a step closer, how i call you ? right baby ? another step closer, entering your personal zone. did cat got your tone, baby ? he would keep, your whines too amusing to him. and if you arent backing away, he would out his hands of your lower back or your waist, tasting the waters. come on baby talk to me, one hand going slowly higher to reach the front of your face. and as he puts your hands away, you trying to not physically fold in front of him, you look munch prettier with your smile showing, baby, he would voice out in a soft murmur. after what felt like minutes, but was just seconds if the both of you jsut looking at each other both wanting more but too shy to do something about it, he would break the silent, still in a whisper is it okay if i kiss you ?, his heart almost escaping his chest. and it's only then, after your shy nod, that he would finally feel complete. his plump lips molding on yours, his hand guiding yours to his hair n nape. he would giggle into the kiss, as teeth would collide or noses blocking each other, but to hind it's exactly how he wants. just a raw expression of love full of honesty n vulnerability.

first cuddle

jake is a gentleman. tho you've came to his place multiples time n he also came to yours as well, he'd never make you feel like he came w naughty intentions, he genuinely want to spend time w you. after numerous movie 'date' when you guys were just friends, it was the first time for him to come over as your lover, making him all shy. meaning it will be the first time, you see jake all giddy in the entry, waiting for you to show him around as if he never came here. if you asked why he was like this he would just laugh, his hand going to his hair rubbing a little, to cope w his embarrassment. even on the couch, he wouldn't sit next to you, but leave few cms between the both of you even tho you've been much closer before. n if he is really really shy, he'd even keep his hands, closed together, on his lap. but as he sees you scooting not so slowly closer to him, he'd understand that you aren't uncomfortable nor doesn't want him close to you. tho, it will make him even more shy : facing your wants n needs of him, is something still new, n as he is usually the cocky one, for the first still is quite unsure what to do. but he knows what he wants n he also wants you close. so he would do the infamous fake yawn to wrap an arm around you. he would feel so silly n his heart can't stop beating specially when he cant see your reaction. his heart would beat even faster, as you accept his advance n put your head on his shoulder. he would go red, too affected by your cuteness n his liking he holds for you. he wouldn't even focus on the movie anymore, but try to remember the way ur hairs falls on his nap n how it smells, ur cute chuckles, or even just you breathing against him. and even if he heart gonna explode from his chest, he would add his other hand, closing himself around you, comfortably laying together.

꣑୧ one month ꣑୧ one year

notes : i think i forgot english

@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @stwrjvke @amouriu @neos127 @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring @pockettwinzz @jwsdoll @heeheeswifey @sjylouvre @txnwvc @oopshee

[hamiltonaf]

Can you do one with Kylian being very jealous of yn all the time and every time she talks to a guy friend he gets mad and makes a big fuss about it and yn gets tired of him and wants to leave him but then he gets upset and begs for forgiveness but she is so tired of his bullshit and want to take a break from the relationship but after 1-2 months they get back together and he got jealous again so she wants to know why he is like that and it turned out that his ex girlfriend cheated on him multiple times so he had trust issues and she assured him that she wasn’t going to do the same thing

Trust Issues | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.1K

Warnings: Minor angst

A/N: Hii loves ! I’m finally back. Apologies for being MIA, I had a lot going on, plus I had writers block. I’m sorry in advance if the end is disappointing - I honestly feel like I forgot how to write lol. If you’ve sent a request before, please note that I’m working on it. Anywho, enjoy .xoxo

Never thought I’d come to a point in life where I had to cut off all my guy friends for Kylian’s sake. I’ve told myself in the past that if I had to face that in a relationship then I’m walking out. Mentally I’m playing hangman with Kylian’s name.

I love Kylian, I really do, it’s also cute at times to see him get jealous but when it comes to a point when he tells me that I need to stop talking to my guy friend then I don’t vibe with that. He’s basically saying that he doesn’t trust me.

We’ve fought, he apologised, I looked past it for us to move on, but he just crossed the line.

I went out for a friend’s birthday dinner, Kylian decided to stay back and chill at home, though he promised he would pick me up after. The birthday dinner felt like a reunion as some of us were seeing each other after years, it was great catching up with everyone, especially Daniel. Him and I were really close growing up as our parents were good friends, but since I moved and was with Kylian I rarely attended gatherings.

It was getting quite late and Kylian was delayed, I didn’t bother rushing him since Daniel was accompanying me and we were just catching up on lost time. We were stood outside the restaurant, dinner had just ended, some had left and others were in their own conversations. “So how are things going? What have you been up to ?” Daniel eagerly asked. “Well, I’m in my final year of studying so it’s been a bit much but I’m coping. How are things going for you ?” I replied. “Life is great. Can’t complain” he smiled proudly. “Still running your parent’s empire I suppose” I smiled. “Nothing has changed” he grinned.

“Good for you Dan. You’re living the dream” I half laughed. “I’m living the dream ?” He scoffed. “Yeah of course ! You’re travelling literally every other month, flying first class and living the good life” I said. “Yeah but you’re the one dating the football player !” He stated. “Speaking of him, let me just check how far he is” I paused to check my phone if perhaps Kylian called or messaged. Nothing.

Just as I locked my phone, my head turned when I heard a car rev in the distance, he’s here. “Oh look. There he is” I said as both of our heads snapped to Kylian pulling up beside us. Daniel leaned towards the car as Kylian rolled down the window, “Hey man, I’m Daniel” he introduced himself. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kylian” Kylian shook his hand. “Heard a lot about you. We should meet up soon, I’ll message (Y/N)” Daniel suggested. “Yeah sure” Kylian said lastly. “Take care bro” Daniel said before pulling me in for a hug. “Bye Dan. Until next time” I murmured. “Until then. Ciao” he said as his hand rubbed my back before breaking away from our hug.

I got into the car and immediately I could feel the tension in the air. “Hi baby” I smiled as I leaned in to kiss his cheek. He didn’t say anything or react, he just remained stiff. I knew what was coming and I wasn’t ready to face the drama for the umpteenth time. Choosing not to say anything in the car until we got home was the best decision. The second the door shut, he didn’t surprised me by being the one to bring it up. “What was that ?” He raised his voice. “What was what ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Who even was that Daniel guy ? I was there for only a minute and I could see the way he was looking at you. You both seemed to enjoy that hug a little too much” he said. I scoffed, “Are you being serious right now ?”

“Do I look like I’m joking ?” He yelled annoyed. “You have honestly lost it !” I yelled as I turned my back on him and stormed towards our room. “(Y/N) I’m talking to you !” He yelled for me as he followed me to the room. “How the hell can you say we enjoyed that hug a little too much. Are you trying to call me a cheater ?” I raised my voice as I turned around to face him. “You’re just putting words into my mouth. My point is that if another person had seen you both together, they would think you’re a couple. I don’t want you seeing him again” he said.

“You know what Kylian ? I’m done” I huffed. “What do you mean done ?” He asked baffled. “I mean that I can’t do this anymore. I can’t continue being in a relationship where my own boyfriend doesn’t even trust me or allows me to talk to other guy friends of mine without assuming I’m cheating. I’m living a lie by staying in this relationship. Go find yourself a girlfriend that you can control because I’m not that girl” I said before getting a bag and packing it with my belongings.

“Babe please don’t do this. I swear I’m not trying to control you. I’ll admit that I got jealous, okay ? But please don’t go. I love you so much, what will I do without you ?” he pleaded and tried to stop me from packing but I continued.

“No Kylian ! Today you literally crossed the line, I couldn’t care so much for the other guys you said I need to stop talking to, but the fact that Daniel and I go way back and now you want me to cut off our friendship ? He’s basically apart of my family because his parents and my parents are friends. Kylian…I’m so tired honestly of us going back and forth. It just bothers me that Daniel attempted to be your friend in that minute you met but instead you ignore all of that and insinuate that I cheated ? Get some help because I need a break from your shit…this has gone past jealousy” I said in anger, I didn’t have it in me to cry.

“(Y/N) please. I’ll change okay ? I’ll do better. But please don’t go. Please give me another chance” he begged. “Kylian I gave you way too many chances. I can’t believe how long I’ve dealt with this and didn’t leave sooner” I said as I zipped up my bag. “So that’s it ? You’re just going to throw away a 2 year relationship ?” He asked. “All I know right now is that we need space away from each other. I love you Kylian, I do, but I think it’s best for the both of us” I pressed my lips together as I threw my bag over my shoulder. “So we’re over ?” He asked teary eyed. “I- please don’t make this harder than it already is” my voice cracked as I looked up in hopes that my tears would disappear.

“Babe you can’t give up on us. We’re meant for each other” he said as he grabbed my hands and rubbed small circles at the back of them. “Kylian, consider this a break rather than a break up. We can both wisely use this time to focus on ourselves…if we’re meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other.”

Those were the last words I’ve said to him face-to-face. I left that night and ended up staying at my parent’s house. They were surprised to see me and were quick to ask where Kylian was, I just lied that he’s travelling for an away game. 2 weeks of staying with my parents raised suspicion and they figured out that something was wrong, my mom especially. I told my mom exactly what happened and luckily she took the hint to not talk about it.

Not a day passed that I didn’t receive a message from Kylian. Countless ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ flooded my phone daily, it wasn’t easy taking this time to focus on myself when he was on my mind all day. Whilst making his message clear, he indirectly would ask for us to talk it out and as much as it hurts, I refused. No point in us getting back together if he’s going to go back to square one.

After about a week, I caved in and started replying back to his messages. Eventually easing in to phone calls and FaceTimes. It’s been 3 weeks since that day I called on a break, today I decided it’s time to meet and talk things out.

He seemed sincere and genuine when we met, of course I couldn’t help but give him another chance. We were meeting for one week as if we were in love all over again and after that one week, we’re back together.

Daniel was in town and he wanted to meet up, I happily accepted his lunch invite and was looking forward to rekindling our friendship. Kylian was at training so I thought I’d get ready in the meantime until he was back.

“Ma chérie !” He called as he entered. “In the room, Ky !” I yelled. He came into the room and whistled behind me. “You look beautiful” he said as he placed a kiss on my neck. “Thank you babe” I blushed. “Where are you going ?” He asked as he walked over to sit at the edge of the bed. “I’m going out for lunch with Daniel” I said casually. “Wait, what !” He asked as he stood up. “Why ? I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t see him ?” He said as he changed his tone. I dropped my mascara on the counter and stood up, “Are you back to this nonsense where I can’t have guy friends ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Do you not know how the story goes about childhood guy friends falling for their girl friends ?” He stood up to stand arms length away from me. “No, Kylian ! That’s not how the story goes. Do you not know it takes two people to be in love which hello ? I’m obviously not.” I said as I started to grow angry. “(Y/N), you don’t know how a guys mind works” he said as he shut his eyes for a second. “Before I walk out of this relationship one more time, could you care to explain your reasoning behind why I can’t have guy friends ?” I raised a brow. His face softened when he heard me mention walking out.

“Babe please no . I’m sorry” he rushed over to me to hold my hands in his. I pulled my hands away from his grip, “Explain Kylian…I can’t continue entertaining this.” He sighed and dropped his head before mustering up the courage. “I have trust issues because of my ex” he admitted. I was shocked. “Well, what happened ?” I asked curiously.

“I trusted her and was never one to question anything she did until I found out she cheated on me with those guys she called her friends. Soo…I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst, I was heartbroken and felt betrayed. It’s been hard for me to accept having trust. It’s not you babe, I promise I trust you, I just fear that your guy friends will convince you to leave me and walk away from our relationship. I can’t bare losing you, not again after the break” he said as he got emo. “Aww Ky” I pouted as I pulled him in for a hug. We never left each others embrace for a few minutes until Kylian broke away to kiss my forehead.

“I’m glad I got that off my chest. You deserved to know. I love you so much and I’m sorry for my behaviour. I’m trying to be a better boyfriend for you after our break so please be patient with me” he pouted. “I get it now. Thank you for being honest babe” I gave him a quick peck on his lips. “You can go out with Daniel, I won’t stop you any longer” he sighed. “Look, as your girlfriend, I want to help you through this. Remember Daniel suggested you guys going out ? Well why don’t you join us, I’ll send him a message and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. That way you have an idea of what Daniel is like and you have a peace of mind. Also, it’s not just about trusting Daniel, I would like if you and Daniel could be friends. I mean the man is practically family” I half laughed before sending a message to Daniel. “Shame I feel bad now for hating on the guy” he sighed. “Well what he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him” I winked then sent the message.

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

hiii, could you do geo x idol gn!reader plsplsplsplsplsplsplspslpslpslplspls :33

Auspicious (Geo x Idol! MC/Reader)

So...I have no fucking clue what an idol is, so I Googled it and went with the X-Pop style. ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭೨

Rejoice. I haven't died. Yet. Writing is how I cope with my IRL problems y'all.

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Auspicious: promising success; propitious; opportune; favorable. an auspicious occasion; favored by fortune; prosperous; fortunate.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Geo Oogami is a pretty famous person. Well, his father certainly is. Fame isn’t alien to him, he gets (unfortunately) recognised quite frequently in public, which is often why he tries to wear baggier, less distinguishable clothing in public.

If you’re an idol, or the front(wo)man of a band, you’ll probably have some level of fame in the city.

In Olympieus University, you’re used to people — complete strangers — approaching you out of fucking nowhere to get autographs, selfies or, God forbid, an interview.

You knew that privacy and fame just weren’t something that tended to come hand-in-hand, so you had to respond to these people as politely as possible.

You genuinely felt like a waiter, or even a retail worker, with how careful you had to be of your words with your fans.

Then you had to worry about the ‘bad eggs’ of your followers. The stalkers (Solivan Brugmansia), weird fanatics (Solivan Brugmansia) and even the occasional creeps who kept trying to date you or sleep with you (technically not Solivan Brugmansia but he does go into your residence quite often so it’s enough of a similarity for me).

Geo has definitely heard of you, so when Crowe brings you to the group, he’s already judging you. After all, how many famous people are not pretentious little airheads? He’s perfectly aware of the facades you, and other idols and celebrities, have to upkeep to maintain your status.

After a while, he realises you just want your personal life to be left untouched, and hell, you’re both actually quite similar; so he eventually drops his nastier opinions of you.

He may even secretly watch your performances on YouTube.

May even end up at one of them live, although he’s disguised; it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to understand him being spotted at your event — not to mention you’re both going to the same university — to get people spreading rumours and gossip.

Subaru Oogami SPOTTED at a live pop band CONCERT!!! Secret ROMANCE uncovered?!?!?!

Alas, he would still support you, in ways he knows how, which is through action.

If you ever felt paranoid about your safety, he’d get his bodyguards (or himself >:]) to ‘supervise’ you and the surroundings.

He’d probably walk/drive you home as well, which’ll probably lead to the both of you developing a pretty good sense of camaraderie.

If you did J-Pop, he’d probably be slightly more ‘invested’, solely because he is Japanese, and, well, anybody would like it if someone knew their language who wasn’t of that country’s descent.

If you did Cantopop or K-Pop, would still be interested, and would ask if you’re of the country’s descent.

You both maybe even end up talking about languages and your respective cultures.

One day, when you have writer’s block, you realise: it’s Geo’s birthday on one of your shows. What if you wrote a more preppy celebratory song for him?

“Oh my God. I’m actually fucking awesome.” - You

So, say that day comes, you sing ( in Japanese, if you didn’t know it you got tutored by Hyugo dwdw) said song.

And dear god it is a hit; such a hit 2 people died from getting trampled by other viewers at the venue!!! :DD

Anyway, Geo is probably going to suspect something’s up, but won’t say anything.

Until he gets annoyed with his unbounding curiosity and asks you about it anyway.

Your face became that of a zooted horse when he spawned behind you and asked whether that song was dedicated to someone you knew.

You forgot how to talk, so you mumbled a yes so you didn’t just stare at a random tree in the distance.

Geo’s actually not that judgy of you, in fact he has to stifle a grin at that.

He becomes more fond of you, after all, he thinks you genuinely care about him now, so he’s inclined to no longer be so distant with you.

Plot twist: he actually has a thing for you. *insert audible, dramatic gasp from every single reader here*

You ask him out through another song, one that you played privately this time (is it hard walking on stage with those balls of steel mate?).

So that’s how you both start dating.

And because you’re both rich, you both buy things for each other, like all the time.

Although the more the relationship progresses, the more domestically-inclined Geo becomes.

He’s the type to cut fruit for you or bluntly ‘comfort’ you if you’re anxious before a performance.

In short? Banger relationship…

Oh…I forgot. You both keep it secret. You both don’t want the paparazzi to stalk you guys, especially while you’re both in uni. That’d be horrible.

Still a banger relationship though. <3

[rhaegonapologist]

rhaegon ch 3

Unfortunately for Alicent, Aegon loved his big sister.

An AU where Rhaenyra leaves shortly after the hunt to travel Westeros on Syrax. Her visits, now and then, are the brightest spots in Aegon's life.

ch 1

ch 2

Alicent has a meltdown after giving birth to Aegon. Rhaenyra helps. Sort of.

All goodwill for her brother dissipated when she returned to King’s Landing. 

Through his letters, Aegon seemed respectful and almost sweet. Like he had grown. But she forgot that he was still a young prince, and the only one at that, spoiled in the heart of the Realm. 

Aegon was throwing a tantrum. He was on the floor, screaming and crying, punching and kicking. There was a broken vase, water puddling on the floor, pillows thrown down with dirty footprints. His attendants warily tried to sweep away shards around him before he could hurt himself, but whenever he felt them move closer he only screamed louder. She saw Alicent in the shadows, lips pursed into a thin line, and it was as if she had never left. 

Rhaenyra remembered their first truce right after Aegon was born. She had avoided Alicent and her father before. It was difficult to be around them but it was twice as painful for her to finally take in Alicent’s warm pregnant glow. In a twisted way her best friend did end up getting what she wanted, despite everything being too much too soon. If Rhaenyra denied everything hard enough, if she entered rooms sideways to block off views of her father next to Alicent, if she kept approving only gifts in Hightower greens for the Queen’s babe, if she walked the long way round to avoid her mother’s chambers, she could pretend Alicent had married off to some lord and was with child. That was how she coped. 

She thought of that peculiar night. It was deep in the hour and Rhaenyra could still hear the babe wailing. This had been going on ever since it was born and she couldn’t understand why the nursemaids couldn’t just shut it up. Frustration overtook her and she barged into Alicent’s rooms. Even the guards seemed tired and let her pass. 

To her surprise, Alicent was alone. The babe lay on the floor, wailing, crying, with his mother ten steps away, eyes blown wide. Her hair was undone, her nightgown drenched in sweat, Alicent was a mess. She wrung her hands like she did whenever Rhaenyra tried to rope her into one of her schemes, but this time her hangnails were picked through, her fingertips bloody red.

Rhaenyra sidestepped the babe on the floor to comfort her friend. 

“He won’t stop,” Alicent said, her voice a strained whisper. “I’ve done everything, I’ve tried everything, he just won’t stop.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, where are the nursemaids?” Rhaenyra asked. She could feel Alicent shaking under her hands. The tremors wracked through her body and made its way up to her shrill voice.

“I can’t do this, I can’t. I thought it would be over by now. He’s out, I’m done, I should be done, I did everything he wanted,” Alicent said. 

Aegon let out another wail. 

Alicent wrenched herself out of Rhaenyra’s arms and screamed at her child. She grabbed a candlestick and threw it on the floor, uncaring if it would hit her son. Rhaenyra gasped and crouched down to check on Aegon.

“Alicent, stop,” Rhaenyra said. This time more firmly, “Where are they?”

“I sent them off to bed, they can’t see me like this. I don’t want anyone to see him, I think there’s something wrong with him, Rhaenyra don’t, don’t let him get close to me. He needs to be blessed before the Seven but the King keeps pushing it off, there’s something wrong,” Alicent said. She gasped before trying to breathe through another sob. 

“He won’t listen to me. I hold him, Rhaenyra, and I don’t feel anything,” she said. Alicent looked right at her, big brown eyes pleading. 

And just like that Rhaenyra felt like they were girls again. 

When she looked down at Aegon again all she could think about were the tears in her best friend’s eyes. This could go away. This could all go away. 

Unthinking, guided by ghosts of a past long gone, Rhaenyra picked up Aegon and walked towards the hearth. She was always one for action while Alicent fretted. Rhaenyra crouched down and tilted Aegon towards the fire. She bounced him lightly and cooed at him, and for some reason Aegon quieted, entranced. 

Rhaenyra knew she had to be the one to step into the dark, that Alicent’s hysterics would only be calmed after she’d had to yank her best friend through. Violet eyes looked up to catch dark brown ones, and she had the gall to wink. 

Alicent felt bile rise up in the throat. That wink. That same wink Rhaenyra gave before she threw herself backwards off a cliff, only to fly up with Syrax moments later. Alicent felt her breath stutter when the flames licked a cruel shadow across her friend’s face, rendering her more dragon than girl. No, she thought. But it was too late, Rhaenyra had lowered Aegon enough into the hearth and her hands were unfurling his wraps. 

She ran towards Rhaenyra, uncaring if the princess would fall into the fire, anything to knock her over, get Aegon out. But Rhaenyra was quicker, she always was, and a laugh bubbled up as she dodged Alicent, quickly tucking Aegon up to her chest again.

“See, you do care about him,” she said. She smiled at Alicent.

Aegon gurgled, reached up to play with Rhaenyra’s hair, oblivious to the danger he was in. 

It was a cruel prank, but it was enough to shock Alicent out of her hysterics. 

As if to soothe her, Rhaenyra ducked to nuzzle against Aegon’s little hand. Alicent staggered towards them and Rhaenyra welcomed her with her other arm. Aegon smiled up at his mother, warm and safe between the two. Rhaenyra felt Alicent’s breaths run ragged again, as it always did when she was about to cry, and she shushed her, pressed her foreheads together. Below, Aegon cooed and twisted their hair together, strands of brown entangled with white. 

“Do not worry, Aegon will be fine. I will talk to my father tomorrow,” she said. 

Alicent closed her eyes and whimpered. She nodded. 

Rhaenyra helped the young mother and her babe back to their beds and bid them goodnight. 

–

But, Rhaenyra supposed, that was then and this was now. Alicent had slightly been better with Aegon since then, but something about her firstborn still rendered her frozen at times. And Aegon was now old enough to pick up on his mother’s moods, which somehow always made his tantrums worse. He needed her to love him, but she thought she had already proved it that night years ago, and was too exhausted to prove it again and again. He could not ask this of her. She could not give any more. 

Nowadays, Rhaenyra regretted not throwing him into the fire. Back then she wouldn’t, because he was Alicent’s child. It was easy to hide the tuft of blond hair under cloth and pretend. He was just a baby anyway. Rhaenyra was already ready to start stuffing her ears with cotton if that night hadn’t played out the way it did. 

But now he was bigger and louder and so much more destructive. He had rifled through her bags without asking and wouldn’t stop touching her things. He was sticky and snotty and everything he handed her was sticky and snotty too. He was giving her a headache and today was the first day she’d gotten leave from him. She wondered if that was the cause of his tantrum.

No matter, he was much nicer in his letters, Rhaenyra decided. 

Rhaenyra remembered being excited for Baelon, but even then she didn’t really know what it was like to have anyone younger than her around. She turned her nose up at Aegon, still flailing in his meltdown, she was sure she behaved well at that age. And with that, she gathered up her skirts, and left before anyone in the room could see her. 

[cloudofash]

Kingdom Hearts Steam Trailer

I saw the trailer, and I think they are focusing on S*kai intentionally. Sora thinks K*iri is his light in the darkness. Whenever Sora gets closer to the truth about his true light, K*iri "intervenes" (whether intentionally or not doesn't matter) and both metaphorically and literally blocks Sora from the light.

Sora forgot that he saved a heart, Riku's heart. He forgot about Riku's sacrifice. I feel that in KH4, some theories about Sora ultimately forgetting about Riku himself will be true. I think the trailer reflects Sora forgetting about Riku and focusing on his relationship and journey with K*iri which mirrors what he said about "his journey beginning the day he lost her" at the end of KH3. In Sora's mind, his entire journey was about Kairi who he thinks is his light.

I don't think that believing this is a cope either, I think it falls in line with everything we know about the story and again, how whenever Sora begins to remember his true light in the darkness his attention is taken away by K*iri or N*miné (an extension of her). It's not like we're grasping at straws and pulling this out of thin air, this is the actual narrative that we're being told and shown. A major plot in the story since CoM is that Sora lost sight of his light in the darkness and he's forgotten that he forgot.

I don't think that they're going to suddenly shift to S*kai. It doesn't make any sense to focus on S*kai out of literal nowhere unless The Big Mouse decided they didn't like the Soriku route. Soriku was built up from the start. Even heading towards KH4, Riku is the one heading to Quadratum to save Sora...not K*iri.

I think folks are looking too deeply into the trailer to begin with, it's just for the Steam release and it shows no new story content or anything we haven't already seen. They can't just alter the entire series' narrative with a trailer. I honestly thought nothing of the trailer until people pointed out it was heavily het focused. Which I completely agree with, and again, think it is a reflection of how Sora feels about his journey as of KH3. Let's wait to see what KH4 brings, I'm sure we'll see the series' direction much more clearly in that game.

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey Chapter 3

Inspo: Quote - “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark that’s running through my heart ”  Summary: (18+ ONLY FIC!!!) Winnie & Richie meet for the first time, have a conversation about their love for Taylor Swift over a cigarette while Carmen fights through a panic attack in his office. W/C: 3,000 A/N: Oh my WORD!! I am so excited for this chapter, I hope you all like it!! I’m hoping my Carmy and Richie are doin’ it for ya! I’m feeling this pacing for the moment, but I promise there will be a time jump at some point. I just want to have the relationships build a little and have you guys get to know Winnie outside of who she is with Carmy!!  Warnings for BTC: Abuse (Verbal, Emotional, Physical), Swearing, Self Harm, Cigarettes, Mentions of alcohol, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Disassociation, Negative self talk, bad coping skills. (0 smut though, wow!!) 

𝒞𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀 𝒪𝓊𝓉 𝑀𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉!

Chapter 2 Here!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Don’t worry missy, mommy isn’t forgetting about you” I brush my hand over my cat, Persephone’s, supple fluffy white tail. “Jus’ give me a second ok?” I leaned into the mirror, finishing applying a mauve lip liner to the edges of my lips before filling them in with gloss. I give myself one final lookover, smoothing down my pale, buttercup-colored cardigan. I look like I should be freezing my ass off, but thanks to my fleece-lined nude tights- I am warm as can be. 

I head into the kitchen, Persephone weaving in and out of my legs as she usually did getting a giggle out of me. “Poor starving fluffy baby mm’?” I coo, grabbing her dish from the cabinet and emptying one of her favorite shrimp-flavored Friskies lil’ soups into the bowl, and setting it down for her. She dives right in and I scratch her head lovingly. “There, that is your bedtime snack ok? You got it early, so when it’s really time for bed later, don’t try and tell me I forgot somethin’ yea?” I go grab my ‘purse’ from the bedroom which was just the tote I’d gotten at Taylor Swift's concert a few months ago, as well as my white pleather platform boots, and sit in the entry hall, putting them on. 

I look at myself once more in the hall mirror, adjusting the white bow tying back my long locks that I’d curled. “Love y’ baby, Mama be home soon, be goods ok?” I called to Seph’ who was still chowing down in the kitchen. I slipped on my fur cape shawl-type garment over my shoulders and stepped out of my apartment. Locking my door, I headed back down a few blocks to The Bear. I put on my headphones as I walk, humming softly to the music blasting through them. 

As I approach the alleyway, I see light puffs of smoke coming out into the street. I hurried my pace, hoping it was Carmen out for a smoke before I showed up. But when I finally see around the corner, it's not Carmen, it’s some other man. Older, wearing a brown leather jacket. He nods in my direction and his lips move, his voice completely drowned out by the music that was still blasting in my ears. I pull my headphone away from my ear lightly “Sorry, wha’dya say?” I asked, taking them off and putting them in my bag.  

“I asked if you were in your Fearless Era? Nice sweater” he said and I smiled wide. “Shut up- you listen to Taylor Swift?” I walked up to him, leaning a few feet away on the brick wall. “Hell yeah! My daughter loves her, you saw the show too?” He takes another drag of his cigarette and I smile with an enthusiastic nod. “Mmhmm!!” I say proudly “Can you believe She played Death By A Thousand Cuts and Mad Woman?! Those are like, my favorites from those albums!” 

He blows the smoke past me and nods with a smile. “It really was fuckin’ fantastic. Broad puts on such a crazy show it was fire.” I looked closer and realized he was wearing chef's clogs “D’ you work here?” I questioned. Another nod “My cus’ owns it. You been?” He asked and my eyes widened before I let out a laugh, a real laugh. 

“I’m here for - for him!! Actually. He umm..invited me for a drink.” I said a shy smile dancing on my lips and my cheeks heating slightly.

“Holy shit” he laughs. “Holy fuckin’ shit” he shakes his head in disbelief. “What?” I giggle. “He has a secret girlfriend or somethin’?” I joked and that got another chuckle out of him. “No, no. Absolutely not- I just am- in shock and awe.” He snorts, taking another drag. 

“Why’s that? Am I ugly or somethin’?” I teased “oh no no quite the opposite actually, surprised he was able to talk to you. Kid gets all quiet around pretty girls.” I shrugged. “Hes….shy. But very funny.” I added. “Funny? Wow. I can’t wait to tell Sug’ t’morrow. Wait so how did you- how did he ask you out?” He questioned.

 I took a deep breath, a sheepish smile on my face “ok, so- he didn’t - he did ask, but he did it by making me ask. He was like ‘oh so you only go out with guys that have xyz’ and I was like ‘no you askin’ me out player?’ And he was like ‘nope but we can go out’ he’s such a dork” I smile at my feet and he snorts a laugh, rubbing his chin like Carmen does. 

“Yeee’ that’s Carmen’s style. He's very indirect- with girls that is. With family though- god. He’s too honest most of the time” I look back up at him. “So… how does this whole thing work, like- so Carmen is your cousin, and who is Sugar?” I asked “oh, yeah Sugars my cousin too, but she’s Carmy’s big-sis. That’s why if you decide to start comin’ ‘round more often don’t be surprised if you see her bossin’ him around even though he’s technically the boss” I giggle a bit. 

“Ohh no I saw it already. She’s- she can be scary. But she’s very pretty, so that makes up for it. She came in tellin’ him off about cups earlier” I said and he chuckles “Yeah. She was the torment today, it’s usually Carmen but he was ok for the most part. Except at the end of the day, oh! Shit!! Oh my god you” he said and I looked at him, confused. “Me?” I question, pointing at my chest. “You. Yeah you. That’s why he was sooo fuckin’ dead set on hauling everyone’s asses out the door at 9:40. Oh and that’s why he had Marcus deep clean the bar. I see.” He took another drag of his cigarette. A heat brushed my cheeks.

 Is he nervous to see me? 

I take my bottom lip between my teeth in thought. “How’d you meet?” He asked, bringing me back. My gaze meets his again, “ah- we met today? Actually? Well, I think I’ve seen him like- around, because I’ll take walks on my breaks so he’s probably been out smoking. But I was gonna come by the restaurant for lunch and he was in need of a light so, I gave him one. And then he found I work at the bookstore and figured that means I’m smart or something and with his pretty eyes he just… managed to rope me into editing your dessert menu” I said and he laughed. 

“That’s one thing about Carm’ this place?” He taps the brick with his finger “Is him, he will do anything to make something perfect about it. So I guess consider yourself smart since he trusted you to even suggest he does anything differently. That’s so much trust with him, he must really like you” he said and I blushed, my eyes meeting my boots again. 

Really like you. 

“So are all you Berzattos this charming, or is it just you and Carm?” I teased and he laughed, his head falling back “Oh, I like you” he pats my arm before stomping out the butt of his cigarette. “Here, you don’t have to walk all the way around - let me just let you in the kitchen” he dug keys out of his pocket, unlocking the large metal door. “Just realized, never got your name.” He said, opening the door and holding it ajar with his foot. 

“Winnie” I reply, and held out my hand. He shakes it, his hands were cold from the weather but his touch was gentle. “Richie” he said and I looked into the hall that leads into the kitchen, my heart beginning to hammer in my chest. “Well I’ll leave you kids at it. No fuckin’ in the kitchen it’s spotless “ he said, breaking the tension in my chest and earning a laugh from me. “No promises, know where he is?” I asked and he nodded with his chin down the hall “2nd door on the right, his office. He’s probably finishing up paperwork n’ shit.” He said and I gently kissed his cheek on my way through the door, a friendly gesture. 

“It was very nice to meet you, Richie.” I said sweetly, his cheeks were bright red. “You too, Winnie. Hopefully we see you around more- Carm can use the attitude adjustment you gave ‘em this afternoon a little more often.” He joked and my cheeks were the ones that now felt hot to the touch. 

He actually listened to what I’d said about being good. 

I nod “I’ll work on it” I said and he nodded with a smile, “night.” He said “g’night! Be safe!” I replied as he shut the door. 

The kitchen was completely silent, the only sound was the buzzing of the lights. It was literal night and day. The bookstore was always quiet unless we were doing story time for littles, and at night it was just as quiet. 

“Carmen?” I called out, my heels clicking as I made my way down the hall. “Hellooo? Hello hello?” I called, hoping he’d open up the office door. My heart picks up again, I feel it in my throat. Pounding, booming. I try to swallow the thick thumping, but it doesn’t help. I hear a hard thump against Carmen’s office door, causing my eyebrows to furrow. 

I get up to it, leaning in and I hear Carmen breathing, heavy and uncontrolled. I speak up, trying to find my confidence. He had invited me here. He wants me here. 

He trusted you to even suggest he does anything differently. That’s so much trust with him, he must really like you…

Richie’s words of encouragement bounce around in my mind. 

I took a deep breath, gently tapping on the door with my French tip. 

“Carmen? Carrrm? Ya’ in there? Hellooooo? I hear you breathing in there… Ok, well guess what- I just met your cousin Richie, and apparently? He listens to Taylor Swift too. So, unless you open up this door? I’ll like- totally go right back out there and flirt with him - and, you’ll positively 100% lose your super-duper smokin’ hot date to your awesome, super friendly cousin-“ 

Carm POV;

**10 minutes before Winnie shows up**

I lean against the office door, eyes screwed shut, so tightly my forehead was beginning to cramp up as my hand shakes uncontrollably next to me, my wrist cracking with every violent flick. I was desperately trying to feel something, but my entire body was numb. My chest heaves up and down rapidly, tears burning my eyes and I roughly rub over my forehead and cheeks. Clawing at my hair and pulling tightly, to feel something, anything at all. “Fuckin - get it together, fuck!” I muttered, desperate, my nails digging into my forearm so hard that if I had any mind to me at this moment, I’d realize I was drawing blood. She would be here any second, the first - first girl, the only girl I have ever had the balls to ask out, and of course one of these - these - episodes.. Just had to come on - right now. I bump my head against the door in a futile attempt to ground myself, but it doesn’t work. I still feel fucking nothing. 

All of a sudden, per usual to this bullshit- I’m transported back to New York, to Noma, in the bathroom, hurling my guts up before my regular night shift. The pang in my stomach though, was merciful compared to the fucking hell on earth that place was.

 Then, I was on line, making Julianne cuts to a carrot for the 3rd time since the previous 2 were ‘obviously done by a blind ape’, or ‘disgustingly amateur’ as per what I can only presume is the words of the demonic human incarnate of every, single, sin, in any life, I’ve ever fucking lived, coming back in this one to haunt me in to my grave. 

 “You fucking stupid sack of shit” he seeths in my ear. “You are pure shit. Hear me? You are nothing motherfucker, you are a fucking shitstain on my name. I swear, at this rate? You get outta’ here? You are done, Hear me? DONE!!!” he barks in my ear so vociferous that it circumscribes the furthest corners of my mind, my knife slipping when I twitch slightly at the pain of the volume in my ear and it shreds into my skin, deep. 

I hissed at the sting before the fire of pain, my hand jerking away on instinct and dropping the knife. It clattered to the floor loudly and before I could react he grabbed the collar of my whites brutely, dragging me somewhere, my feet stumbling and tripping over each other as he towed me like a ragdoll, before he was violently throwing me to the floor of the bathroom in a pathetic, bleeding heap. “Fucking pussy” he growled, digging his chef's clog in my side just enough to knock the remaining wind out of my lungs. “Clean yourself up, pathetic moron. There's fucking work to be done, or did you overlook that? You slothful, utterly useless, piece of garbage.” The door to the bathroom slams, and I’m left alone, my blood leaking into the tile. At least he didn’t spit on me this time. 

My first thought isn’t if I need stitches, or of the unbelievable pain coursing through my hand and wrist - of course not, why would I ever think of myself first? Instead, it’s of the fact that my blood pool has already grown so large that it’s leaking into the grout of the restroom floor. And if it stains with the remnants of my stupid mistake, I am fucked, done, and utterly screwed. I scramble up, wincing lightly as I try to take a breath, a sharp ache going through my left lung where his shoe had dug in. 

Suddenly, I’m ripped through the walls of space and time, the soft hum of the heater meeting my ears, as the sound of the sweetest voice I’d ever heard makes its way through the door, She’s here.

“Carmen? Carrrm? Ya’ in there? Hellooooo? I hear you breathing in there… Ok, well guess what- I just met your cousin Richie, and apparently? He listens to Taylor Swift too. So, unless you open up this door? I’ll like- totally go out there and flirt with him - and, you’ll positively 100% lose your super-duper smokin’ hot date to your awesome, super friendly cousin- I also brought my book since you were just sooo interested earlier. Maybe you can take some tips from the bat-boys for your flirting skills, handsome.” 

Her voice was like a tether, gently tugging me back into my body. It’s as if my soul snaps back into my physical self all at once, her words ringing through my mind like soothing white noise, not registering a single thing she’s saying, but relishing in the fact my feet were on the ground, and I was beginning to be able to feel them there again. I try to find focus on the sound of her sweet, sweet voice.

My face finally relaxes, and I force my eyes open. I’m back- Back at the bear. I let out a shaking sigh of relief, my entire body was trembling. Blood felt like it was pooling back into every one of my limbs in a tsunami. I suddenly felt so heavy, like I could just sink into the floor in a heap and die there.

“J-J-J” I stutter out, biting down on my cheek so hard I felt a sting of pain and the taste of metal filled my mouth, so embarrassed that I’m succumbing to my old habits, especially in front of her. Forcing a deep breath into my lungs, finding my head, find your head, find it, find it Carmen. 

I inhaled so deeply it felt for a moment like my lungs could pop like balloons, before focusing all of my energy into letting out the breath as controlled and light as I could, which finally centered me enough to be able to find my tongue. “Just One sec. M’ sorry” I managed to get out, rubbing over my face roughly to get rid of the remnants of any stray tears, before wiping my hands on my shirt and turning to open the door. 

Before my mind and my….brain? Could process my actions, I was pulling the door open, pulling her into my chest, and nuzzling my face into her neck. I held her to me tightly, as if we were hanging off the very edge of the earth, and she was my only tether to reality. I took a deep breath, my knees feeling weaker at the intoxicating scent of her, Jasmine, rose, orange? Maybe grapefruit…and…Honey.  

“Thank y’ for comin’, Winnie, I need a fuckin’ drink, now.” I mutter quietly into her supple skin.

Read Chapter 4 Here!

[angelsanarchy]

Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 20

Tagging: @ophelialaufey@madamemaximoff06@forever-not-gonna-sink@ajmiila02@liquidsmoothdomme@shady-the-simp @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27

This week was going shit. Varg was up Oystein's ass every other second about some stupid "mission of solidifying black metal", the shop had gotten a formal complaint from the police about property destruction which got him a fat fine. Some drunk idiot fell into a display and broke a ton of records that he would now have to eat the cost over. He was hiding out in his office just to get some peace from everyone. He had Faust pick up his food today because he didn't want to take his bad mood out on Y/n when she delivered his food.

Oystein started to eat his lunch in silence, enjoying being completely alone until the office door opened. Y/n walked in surprising him.

"I thought I told Faust to lock the door on the way out." He realized he had his glasses on and batted them off his face.

"No worries I just came to drop this. You can go back to jerking off on your little typewriter once I leave." She watched Oystein realize he still had his glasses on and he batted them off his face. She shook her head.

"Oh no he doesn't have perfect vision., trust me the glasses are the least stupid thing about your face with that hideous mustache living on your lip." She dropped the bag on his desk.

"Your lunch wench forgot your side orders and I wasn't getting blamed for not delivering them to you directly." Oystein smirked.

"I wouldn't have held it against you but I appreciate you bringing it." Oystein looked up at Y/n and noticed she was in some sort of trance.

"Y/n...you good?" He waved his hand and followed her gaze to the picture on his bulletin board. He stood up abruptly and stood in front of the desk to block her view but she was held her hands up for him not to come close to her.

"You weren't suppose to see that." Oystein said seeing her shaking. He stepped closer to her.

"Please don't. I just...just give me a second." She kept her face down so he couldn't see that she was crying.

"What can I do? Tell me what you need and I'll get it." Oystein offered.

"Trust me I would have run out of her with a giant fuck you if I could have kept my emotions on lock but I refuse to let your cult following see me cry or give you some sort of material to tell them you fucked me until I cried or something stupid." Oystein was surprised by what she said. He would never hurt her, let alone assault her.

"Y/n you have to know I wouldn't ever do that-" He moved towards her again.

"There as a time I thought I could believe that but I also didn't believe you actually took photos of Pelle...like that...and put them on display like he was some sideshow freak." She put her hands over her face now completely in shambles. He wanted to hug her. He wanted to do something, anything to make this better for her.

"I'm sorry you saw it." He whispered and her head shot up.

"You should be sorry you took it Oystein. God what is wrong with you? How did I miss this? How did I not see this side of you and just let myself fall in..." She cut herself off and for the first time since their relationship fell apart did he feel like something had struck him directly in the heart.

"I do...I do feel sorry that I took it. I've felt like shit since the moment I found him like that. I can't...look I'm sorry I can't go there with you okay? You just wouldn't understand what that's like. I'm a fucking mess and this is how I'm coping with it." Oystein felt the lump in his throat and shook his head. Explaining to anyone what he's been feeling since Pelle killed himself felt impossible. It felt lonely. It felt like if he let this feeling bubble to the surface, he might drown in it.

Y/n finally lifted her head and he used a napkin from his desk to wipe her tears. For a brief moment, she let him before taking the napkin and pulling herself together.

"Next time, I will leave your food with Faust." She whispered. He nodded his head understanding that she wouldn't ever come back into his office and he didn't blame her. He sat back down in his chair and looked over at the photo of Pelle. Being mad at him for doing what he did was the only way he didn't let his absence hurt.

The door cracked open again and Faust walked in.

"Hey are you still-"

"Lock the fucking door Faust!" Oystein yelled at him and he flipped the lock on the door before shutting it quickly. He just needed a break. He felt like he needed a vacation from his own fucking life.

[nattinatalia]

Urban Wyatt x Reader : Instagram AU

Part of my Third Harlow Series 🫧

Liked by claybornharlow, urbanwyatt, cozane, neelamthadhani, nemoachida, and 7,976,355 others

yourusername Derby weekend is just getting started!!!! First stop, the 2023 Barnstable Brown Gala!!!!

View all 1,600 comments

neelamthadhani What??? You’re here????

taylorrooks My girl ⭐️ can’t wait to see you!!!

cozane Did you forget to tell us something?

yourusername What? 🤨

urbanwyatt I didn’t even know you were home?

yourusername SURPRISE???? 🤪🤪🤪

user Urb not knowing his girl is in town has me laughing.

urbanwyatt She plays too damn much 🙄

yourusername I thought you liked it when I played????

urbanwyatt You know damn well what I mean loser!!!! Get over here to our table before your brother grows grey hairs

yourusername LMAAOOOO

•

yourusername added to their story

•

urbanwyatt added to their story

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, cozane, jackharlow, claybornharlow, shloob, and 7,876,345 others

yourusername 🐎 DERBY TIME 🐎 Walked out with a grand so I win 💅🏼

View all 2,900 comments

neelamthadhani Buy me something

urbanwyatt My baby 🤪

urbanwyatt 📸 I took the fit pic

urbanwyatt Let’s go to the bathroom real quick???

jackharlow FUCK OFF

urbanwyatt I mean that’s what I want to do.

mamamaggie URBAN!!!!!

yourusername 💀

user She wore that? 😬

user She forgot the dress memo? The hat memo??? Please.

user That dress is definitely not Derby appropriate.

user How is she going to show up and let others eat her up. Isn’t she an influencer on fashion and makeup??? 💀

claybornharlow She’s allowed to dress as she likes! I don’t see y’all paying her bills so don’t start telling her what she has to wear.

user Jack pays them for her 🤭🤭

yourusername Everyone suddenly knows all about my life and if my brother pays my bills? 😭😭😭 this is something else and all over because of what I chose to wear 💀

urbanwyatt My baby looks so damn sexy that’s why everyone is hating!!!!!

•

Liked by yourusername, selenosunni, cozane, jackharlow, quiiso, shloob, and 6,987,345 others

urbanwyatt inthaspot 💵 🐜 💵 🐜

View all 1,200 comments

yourusername my favorite picnic table to lay on 🤭🤪🤪🤪🤪

urbanwyatt 😞 STOP CALLING ME A PICNIC BLANKET!!!!

neelamthadhani 💀💀💀💀

yourusername Second pic- My two favorite chairs 🤪

selenosunni Wait what??

claybornharlow Y/N, act right!

urbanwyatt I know I’m your favorite chair… but Sunni???? Since uh when?

jackharlow Am I missing something? Please no, one best friend is enough.

yourusername 👀 🤭🤭🤭🤭

claybornharlow MOM COME HANDLE YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!

jackharlow Knowing her, she’ll welcome it! 🤦🏼‍♂️

mamamaggie She did have a crush on him and Copelan when she was younger.

urbanwyatt EXCUSE ME?

jackharlow NO

claybornharlow NO, IMMEDIATELY NO

cozane Ohhh???? Say more please

selenosunni cozane are you crazy? ABORT!!!

urbanwyatt If after this week you don’t hear from Y/N, it’s because she’s chained to the bed 🙄 talking about she used to like two of my best friends.

yourusername LMAAOO who said anything about USED TO????

jackharlow Blocked bye.

claybornharlow You’re annoying!!! Cope and Sunni y’all better stay away. I have enough of her and Urban!

selenosunni 🫡🫡🫡 Understood.

yourusername Such a fucking liar 🤥

cozane 🤪🤪🤪🤪

urbanwyatt 👀 You three better the fuck not!

yourusername 😊😊😊😊

urbanwyatt YN HARLOW!!!!!

jackharlow Gagging 🤢

yourusername It’s what I did on both of them last night! 🤤 😋

claybornharlow OUTTA POCKET!!!

urbanwyatt Stop playing.

yourusername Who’s playing? I’m not playing right now… The playing happened last night 🤪

cozane WAIT SHE’S LYING!!!!

selenosunni I DON’T LIKE THIS GAME ANYMORE !!!!

yourusername 🙄 YOU TWO COULDN’T HANG A BIT LONGER?????

cozane NOO I LOVE BEING ALIVE!!!!

selenosunni Did you not see the way your brothers and your man kept glaring at us????

urbanwyatt So this was all a prank? 😠

jackharlow 🤦🏼‍♂️

claybornharlow I hate you all.

urbanwyatt So having a crush on them was part of the prank too?

mamamaggie Oh no, that is definitely true!

yourusername MOM 😭

•

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, mamamaggie, neelamthadhani, and 8,677,355 others

yourusername My big brother is the coolest and most loyal guy I know! Last night we celebrated him and celebrated his launch for his foundation. I know I’m always giving him headaches on here and in real life, and perhaps I don’t say it much, but I’m beyond proud of you J, you inspire me and everyone around you! Keep it coming because no one is doing it like you. OOKAAAY, BYE NOW!!!!! I’m on my way to make babies with your best friend 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤭🤭🤭

View all 1,800 comments

jackharlow Thank you baby sis, love you 💜

jackharlow You had me in the first half, not gonna lie!!!!

jackharlow Was the last part necessary?

neelamthadhani 💀💀💀 the last part bitch!!!

yourusername 🤪🤪🤪🤪

claybornharlow Never knows how to act right! Can’t give a compliment without acting a fool.

yourusername Your lives would’ve been boring without me.

jackharlow I guess thank you mom for picking her up from the dumpster!!!

yourusername YOU’RE ANNOYING!!!! I wasn’t picked up from a dumpster. Parking lot perhaps, but no dumpster.

urbanwyatt 😭 Always something with you.

mamamaggie Do you always have to terrorize your brothers? I’m here for it, but this was such a beautiful post and you add the last part. What am I gonna do with you my child?

claybornharlow FINALLY YOU CALL HER OUT

jackharlow Can you return her?

yourusername If anything she’d go back in time to swallow you both!!!! I’m her favorite, even with my terrorizing ways and all.

mamamaggie Y/N 🤫

claybornharlow Are you not going to correct her mother??

jackharlow At this point we both know she’ll always chose her!!!!

mamamaggie You’re getting it.

jackharlow Huh? What?

claybornharlow 🤦🏼‍♂️ she didn’t even hesitate

mamamaggie I WAS HACKED!!!!!!

•

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree

[bunnisanblog]

We'll Break up in the End

Chapter 1: Black Coffee Previously: Summary and Story Info Word Count: 1.1k

You throw on yesterday’s going-out clothes after a sniff test and decide that it’s still good for a short trip to the bakery. It's just called "Bakery," so you have high hopes that the pastries would taste more exciting. Before you head out the door, you sneak a glance at the bathroom mirror and examine your state. Dark circles were the first thing you noticed, but you shrug it off since it's just going to be a quick trip. You give yourself some credit though, for taking the time to do your skincare routine and brushing your hair, which were almost impossible feats just a few months ago when you found out about your ex's double life. Aside from those, you were ready to go, until something catches your eye. Your makeup bag. You haven't thought of applying makeup since then, but you can't help but slightly frown because of how much you spent on lip glosses and eye shadow palettes that you begged your boyfriend- ... ex-boyfriend... to buy you even if you knew only two of the twelve colors would be used. You shake your head at the memory and head out the door, making a mental note to do a closet purge and toss out anything that reminds you of him.

The sunlight blinds your eyes when you start walking, so you make a little shade with your hand to block out the sun from your face. It just occurred to you how long you've been cooped up inside and ignoring any invites to go out. You check your phone that was once bombarded with texts from friends and a lover, and now it's just dry. 'Like me,' you thought and snort to yourself. There's no better way to cope with a shitty situation than making a joke about how shittier the circumstances are now, like for example, taking a jab at your sex life. You check the navigation to make sure you're still headed in the right direction before letting your mind wander. Left, right, left right. It's not like you forgot how to walk or weren't active inside your apartment, but walking outside is different. You know where everything is inside your space, just enough so you don't run into tables or the messily organized piles of junk you thought to save for later. The outside, however- your train of thought is interrupted by the burning sensation of steaming coffee going through your now-needs-to-be-washed sweater and hitting your skin. You look up at a fairly tall man, clad in a white apron, with a fair-looking face. As if your body wasn't already feeling the heat from the coffee, your face feels like it's on fire from embarrassment. The cute stranger's eyes widen and he places the sample tray of the other coffees on a table to quickly pat you down with his hand towel. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry are you hurt?" His bangs cover a bit of his eyes when he looks down at you with concern.

"No, no I'm fine," you reassure him, taking the towel from him and wiping your arm. (You're pretty sure you might have some burns cause it stings with contact.) "I'm sorry, I should've looked where I was going," you sheepishly say, looking in his general direction but trying to avoid eye contact.

He extends his hand towards you, and you feel the blush on your face grow, but you're frozen. You have no idea what to do because you just met and surely he's not asking to hold your hand-?

"If you'd like, I can take that towel from you if you're done with it," he smiles. You completely forgot about the towel you had a death grip on, and you shove it in his hand a bit rougher than you planned.

"Oh! I'm sorry again, I didn't mean to-" His wholesome and full laugh just cuts you off. Based on his exterior features, you wouldn't expect him to appear so... light and carefree? His defined jaw line and muscular build gives off a more stern vibe about him, especially his matching dark circles to yours, but he somehow makes them look good.

"It's okay, no need to apologize. Please, come inside the bakery. If you need any assistance, you can ask for Nanami." He says, with his signature smile.

You walk in and your senses are flooded with the mouthwatering scent of fresh bread, but all you can think about is Nanami- and how nice he was to you, of course. You can't afford to have another man take up space in your head rent-free again, at least not so soon. You pick out some custard buns, garlic cheese breads, and you notice a lone ham sandwich. It's in a shiny plastic wrap, and you thought what better way to express your gratitude for helping you than to get him a sandwich for lunch! You knew it was a reach, but it's not like you can just strike up a conversation randomly with him, no? You gather all your things and after paying, you see Nanami at the door.

He smiles at you in a kind of way that makes your heart beat ten times faster and feel like it'll bounce up and out of your chest. Before your overthinking forces you to miss this opportunity, you stick your hand in the pastry bag and present the sandwich to him. His eyes slightly widen in surprise and his lips part, but nothing comes out. "Here! I hope I didn't cause you too much trouble earlier with the coffee... so I bought you a sandwich for your lunch. If you haven't taken it yet. Or maybe your dinner if you've already eaten lunch. Not to say that you don't have any other food at home..." Oh god, you already messed up. You mentally curse at yourself for going on and rambling. You honestly expected him to just ignore it or just brush you off as just another girl in the long line that has a crush on him. (Do you have a crush on him?)

Instead, he smiles so wide that his eyes follow suit, and your ears are blessed with his laugh again. "Great minds think alike," he says, while pulling out the same ham sandwich from his apron pocket. "How did you know it was my favorite?"

"Lucky guess?" You start to ease into the conversation with Nanami and find yourself genuinely smiling - not out of nervousness or embarrassment.

"Well, it's not everyday you meet someone with the same taste in sandwich. If you're free, maybe we can eat it together in a few minutes when I go on my lunch?" You're sure you mistake the hopeful glint in his eyes when he asks you to spend his lunch break with him.

"Sure, I can wait at a table," you smile up at him, not getting over the height difference. You watch as he slips his apron off on his way back inside, and there's only a single thought in your mind.

You should've at least brought your makeup bag.

*:･ﾟ✧ Author's Note: Yay, I got the first chapter out! I hope I can improve in my writing style as the story goes on. This was just to set the scene, but wowowow an impromptu first like-date after a meet-cute?!

*:･ﾟ✧ Taglist: @an-ever-angry-bi 🫶

[all-pacas]

some more retcon sister headcanons because it's retcon sister week:

aka danielle maria chase, retcon sister of my dreams

the most important fact about this oc is that her name is not danielle, it's 100% daniela, chase just got it wrong as a kid and has stuck with the mistake for 20 years.

no one but her brother calls her danielle, but she's absolutely fine with it from him (no one else tho). she doesn't love going by daniela either but has dabbled in just about every other nickname you can get from the name -- ellie and ella are the most common ones -- most people know her as ellie -- and she's also tried out danny, dana, etc.

…she's quite big on "reinventing" herself. it's partially a very genuine attempt to turn over new leaves and change and leave her mistakes behind her, it's partially just… fun. she tries out new hairstyles, has dyed her hair every color under the sun, she tries out new identities left and right.

she gets manic as hell, which ties into her drug use/alcoholism, both in terms of danielle trying to self medicate and trying to keep herself up and "fun" and it's a mess. she's never been to a psychiatrist (her father Did Not Believe in them), but tbh she could use it!

chase is absolutely the Responsible Big Brother around her. it's one of the reasons they do way better on low contact, even though deep down they do both love one another and share a deep fucked up childhood bond. but when they're together they both immediately fall into old bad habits: he infantilizes her and lectures her and burns himself out with stress, she gets rebellious and resentful and has never really forgiven him for moving to the States when she was still a teenager.

she really doesn't remember her mother much, which is another thing that's difficult between her and chase: danielle was 5-6 when she died, and danielle really has no memories of her functional or sober and kind of… blocked out/willfully forgot the rest. so it's easy for danielle to think of her mother as a glamorous and exciting person, and chase cannot deal with this.

she doesn't hate her father. part of it is that same idealization-to-cope (he's just so cool and smart and that's why he doesn't talk to her), but also… it's kind of the same deal as her mom, danielle doesn't know shit about rowan, he's a neutral figure to her. chase is old enough to remember having parents but danielle's only parent was her brother. rowan did take her in after her mother died, though. she has more of a relationship with rowan's second wife, although they don't get along.

she really does not like herself!! welcome to the chase family danielle!! she has a lot of the same abandonment issues as her brother: no one wants her, she's an idiot, no one cares about her. she's not educated, she's not a doctor, so she idealizes her family as a way of like… look how cool and fancy they are, i'm related to them, i'm like that too. i'm not a fuckup. i'm not a failure. (and then she gets depressed and she gets high.)

when the show starts — 2004 — she's 18 or so, 26/27 by the time of Chase MD. i think she does get her shit together by the time she and chase are back in touch, but it isn't easy, and it relies on her having to move on from her family a bit, mentally estrange herself instead of clinging to this ideal of them.

she does get pregnant and decides to keep the baby (around 2010/11), which causes her and chase's biggest falling out (he spirals whenever she's concerned, he 100% had a nightmare vision of him somehow having to raise this baby). she really does try her fucking best for her son, though. she only really starts to understand how bad her parents were after he's born, you know?

i like to imagine she works with animals. maybe she becomes a horse girl. :))) just does something outdoorsy and a little athletic and it's nothing well-paying or fancy but it's hers and it keeps her busy and active and clean.

she and chase also slowly fix their relationship, although living on opposite ends of the world does help a lot lmao. they just. do better that way. but they keep in better touch, and chase eventually meets his nephew. a lukewarm ending but a happy one.

(also danielle liked cameron and did not understand what cameron saw in her brother. like. chase is so bossy and he's so annoying and uptight and cameron was just like he's w h a t)

[k9emote]

Hey there K9 :) Just wanted to share this since you said the ones who were wronged and wanted to talk to you and explain their side of the story could I'm just here sharing my friends message that's all/lh

Hey K9. This is Prox. I want to keep my own blog free from asks and such, so I’m having a friend post this in my honor. Please read it all the way through. It’s my side of the story regarding your recent apology post.

Hi,

I hear you, Proxy.

I'm sorry for misunderstanding some of what you did.

I still think, in any context, having OC's with number names is not okay. My opinion won't change on that but to each their own. Those are my boundaries and I've spoken enough about it already.

Thank you for apologizing about how you spoke to me. We were both tired, and both were nasty towards each other. stuff happens, and I forgive you.

I'm glad you've been educated about proshippers, and thank you for apologizing about the demonization of dog breeds. I hope you're able to grow from your fear of them and experience just how sweet they can be.

As far as I can remember, we NEVER said "I hope proxy kills themselves" or ANYTHINGGG like that because that's disgusting and I'd fucking never. If me or my mods said anything like that, I am so so sorry. I'm pretty sure the closest thing I might've said about that is "if you ignore victims kys" which is pretty broad but I understand can look like it's targeted at you and I am so sorry. I hope you are safe, genuinely.

I have used harmful coping mechanisms in the past, I admit. And I am working daily on fixing those. I've been doing a lot bettet as of recent.

Thank you for reaching out respectfully.

I hope you are well, and I hope that anyone who decides to harass you or ANYONE blocks me and dies in a hole.

oh and one note I forgot to add - that person who was complaining to us has since been banned for using autism as an excuse to use numbers to organize their simply plural. (they couldn't reclaim number names, and number organization is very much ramcoa related. ) and refused every other option we gave them. (lettering, just naming it "unknown name", etc.) It very much came across as valuing their comfort over victims voices, and we reacted very angrily. You can see the entire conversation here.

we have since apologized for speaking angrily, and have bettered ourselves in that department. We and our staff have grown, and the public ban channel is no longer active as I've stated in previous posts.

Edit: they have since fixed this and educated themselves.

[microscotch]

“Earth is a pathetic planet. Isabella getting with a guy BEFORE ME?? Like okay, what’s his name sorta only half counts but the LIKELIHOOD of that to happen and it STILL HAPPENED!!”

-“I hate the fact that I can hear them.”

-“Dito.”

-”Is... is Dante really eating those comedically spoiled cornflakes over there?”

-”I’m not standing here consuming one drink after another while staring at this unfitting painting to cope with the fact that everyone here is an idiot JUST for you to lure in the background and bother me with irrelevant questions like that. Why the fuck are you already drinking coffee?”

-”I don’t have a bed, did you forget that?”

-”Stop whining, people have bigger problems to worry about than you being doomed to sleep on our heart couch.”

-“Oh that’s just where I stood a couple hours ago. Is it what I think it is?”

-“LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I NEED TO FORGET THE THINGS I SAW AND HEARD LAST NIGHT.”

-”Yup.”

-”COME HERE MY LOVE!! LET MAXXX SMOOCH THE DISGUST OUT OF YOU!!!”

-”I don’t think I ever encountered such a pathetic pile of lifeforms in my whole existence-”

☎ *phone rings* ☎

-“KOMEI!!! LOVE OF MY LIFE!!”

-“WHERE ON EARTH WERE YOU ASSHOLES YESTERDAY??? I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO SPEND THE WHOLE DAY AT THE BEACH, YOU STILL HAVE A JO-”

-”DAMMIT!! Alright, let’s try again.

“Dude, Angie clearly passed the boy crazy virus onto Namzib before she left. Ever since that Comet or whatever his name is came around she’s just been acting completely deranged.”

“And not to mention, she was blocking the phone. Had to wait out seventeen obnoxious attempts until I could finally call the girl I met yesterday.”

“Then I realized I forgot her name...”

-“GUYS!! Hurry up, the awkward tension that is sitting next to Isabella by myself is terrible for my skin! I can basically feel it losing its radiant glow with every second passing by!”

“Don’t look at me like that! Isabella just oozes an amount of toxicity no bear shaped biotin gummies could possibly counteract!”

-“GUUUUUUUYSS FOR REAL WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE????”

-”Watcher! Hold up April, I think I can see a wrinkle!”

-”You’re just jealous ‘cause my boyfriend is a literal 10 while I’m the only person in this house who can even REMEMBER your guy’s name!”

-”Wow, obsessed much?”

-“Oops....”

“No one saw that.”

-“GET OUT OF THE WAY NAMZIB!!!!! CORNFLAKES!!!!!!”

-“NO DON’T GO IN HERE!”

-“NAMZIB FOR WATCHER’S SAKE!!!!!”

-“Hey, uh, Lyam right?

-”You guys still can’t re-”

-“Props to you and everything but also good luck with this one. Well, actually, my condolences with this one.”

-”Oh no, no, no, I still wanna live the next couple decades, that was just for fun.”

-”You’re fucking with me right now, aren’t you.”

“Wait, WHAT?”

“...THE UNDERSOCIALIZED VIRGIN THING WAS JUST A TACTIC???”

[chuluoyi]

Hi chuu! I hope this isn’t rude but what’s your take on not being entirely too reliant on the source material? I see too many people being disheartened about gojo’s death in the manga, getting mad (which is a totally fine reaction because these characters have been emotionally invested in by many people but sometimes it gets too much) and I’m always so confused that they have this despair for canon when we have the freedom in fiction to enjoy the character without a constant reminder “oh HES DEAD HES DEAD” nanami has passed in both the manga and anime but everything’s been dandy so far with many fanfic authors and fan artist’s that i legitimately forgot he died. like sure, gojo’s been chalked up as the strongest, he should’ve lived, this, that. but then again, do we really need to make an uproar on the author’s decision when we could still enjoy his character through many works than just where he’s from, regardless of his fate? if anything it added more uniqueness to his character and the stories that could come with him. the ANGST, the hurt, another angle to his life that he is not respected as a person but for his power. I think people quickly jump on the negatives and fail to see the positives, often delving themselves in bad headspace’s way too willingly.

hmm first and foremost, i’m a firm believer of “to each their own” 🥹 so honestly, i often skip through opinions/takes i don’t like or block them if i really don’t want to see them. to answer your question, generally, i don’t really care whether or not the mass out there are making an uproar/having questionable tendencies/such— because in the end, it’s within their rights to do so, and i can’t do anything about it. and if i don’t like it, i can simply block them

but personally, i do think it’s both over the top and making sense at the same time. after all, gojo is a fan-favorite jjk character, so a lot of people are understandably upset with gege’s decision to end him. but i’ll always say that it’s totally wrong and stupid even to condemn akutami gege for this because jujutsu kaisen is his story to tell, and as you say—we have fanfics to cope. but then again, not everyone is fics reader like us, so they don’t have an “outlet” to cope and keep mourning his death

in the end, jjk is actually just an entertainment we indulge ourselves in—it’s not our life :’) we best don’t think too much about it. if we like it then we keep the content around. if we don’t like it then we can always block and move on

[piecebread]

POOOKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

yap to me about ur phighting oc lore as i show u the subtle redesigns of my own :3

Um ok then stranger/silly (I actually don’t know you so I’m calling you stranger please don’t take this the wrong way 🙏)

Um so for Krey she’s basically a homeless assassin who wanders around other factions to get money by getting clients and killing the clients enemy or stuff.

But the entire lore for her is under here:

TW!: [there’s mentions of abuse and a brief mention of death and suicide so read this as your own risk]

krey was born in the crescent faction. but her parents had moved into lost temple, where her younger brother (xiphos but i'll call him the younger brother) was born.

kreys mother loved her younger brother, while her father loved her. both the parents loved their kids, but krey was usually bullied by her younger brother, since both of her parents are divorced.

her younger brother was always the spoiled brat, having things that krey didn't have. krey just allowed this behaviour from her younger brother and thought it was normal, so she thought he'd grow out of this when he got older, he had scratched her face giving her facial scars when she was 13 As a joke.

than one day, when krey's father visited their mother with krey, when she and her father entered the house and she saw her mothers dead body. her mother had been killed by someone. their father had started to dial 911 and weeps into the phone while explaining whats happening, while he covers his daughters eyes from the body.

there was a crime scene at the house, and her mother was pronounced dead. their father, krey and her younger brother had held a funeral for their mother.. krey hated her mother and younger brother but she still cared for them, she didn't know why.. kreys mother gave her younger brother everything, but doesn't really care about krey or her husband, which lead the couple into arguments which lead to the divorce.

her younger brother was convinced that krey was the one who killed their mother, which was the main leading cause of the psychological abuse. making krey feel less confident, anxiety developing in her, having no friends since her younger brother convinced everyone at school, that she killed their mother and is a killer, which lead krey to having no friends.. and when she was around 15 years old she tried to comment suicide. her only way of coping was either drawing or painting.

after a few years, their father had decided to move in with their grandparents back in moonlit forest. where krey continued to endure the psychological abuse from her younger brother. krey had grown into thinking that this was normal.

But when her brother was 16 and continued the psychological abuse on her. Their father had caught on of what was going on. And had sent her brother to her uncles to live with them.

krey had a trauma block where she forgot her younger brothers face which is a reaction that is where the brain blocks out the traumatic events. this is a natural defence mechanism that the brain uses to protect the victim from the trauma. the goal is to protect oneself from the trauma they experienced.

krey is suffering from depression and is still suffering from depression. As she has no one to talk to about her trauma.

she has also suffered from anxiety and still suffers from anxiety, as she gets overwhelmed whenever she talks to other people especially in crowded areas, along with being called out to answer something.

krey is also a people pleaser, where she pleases people at her own expense. as she has the fear of rejection from others. this makes krey very easy to take advantage of.

when she was 20 she had left the household, where she joined a assassin group. she was trained as a assassin. going on missions with her teammates. she also had a custom made nightsong swords, she was also given a shadow walker pup where she raised the pup as a companion and training it. after a few years if being a assassin she left the group where she went back to lost temple, to start looking for jobs. she moved place to place so she wouldn't get caught by the authorities. Leaving her homeless she has met both scythe/rifle and vinestaff but that'll be explained soon.

krey lost her left eye when she was training with a teammate of hers, and the teammate accidentally took her eye out by swinging their dagger at her left eye. where krey was sent to the healers, and the remnants of her eye were removed and her eye got stitched.

And during this time. Her tails claw was in a mild state of rotting caused by a uncommon disease called ‘talious exfondria’ where a part of a tail on a demon starts to rot and eats its way through the tail. Tho it’s not that harmful it’s still irritating to have. This can only be contracted by unsanitary conditions or by being transmitted by someone with the beginning infections/symptoms of the disease. And can be removed by surgically removing it from the tail. As this happened with Krey. Her tails claw had started to rot away being in the mid stage where it’s mildly rotting away. So she needed to get surgery to remove it. But she couldn’t because of her being an assassin. So she went to medkit to have her tails claw surgically removed.

she usually has a cloak on so she could hide her identity, she travelled by riding her shadow walker, across the deserts of lost temple. she usually worked for gangs or mafia to get money, she doesn't have a home to live in lost temple. Usually sleeping in alleyways with her mount or sleeping under big rocks.

when krey lost her left arm, she was forced to return back to the crescent faction with no choice but to find help. krey would faint from the blood loss, waking up in a random strangers house in a forest. She was all healed up. Her left arm still attached as if she didn’t loose her left arm. But there was an arm bracelet on her left arm. But later revealed by the stranger that her left arm was an illusion but works like a real arm. And the arm bracelet was made out of magic. Although the stranger wasn’t a special one, they just found the arm bracelet. using it on her arm to save her.

She suffers from PTSD. Because of how severe the abuse was, she always gets nightmares of her abuser, every single night. She can’t have a normal night without these nightmares. Making her resort to not sleeping at all, Making her become sleep deprived. She avoids the subject about her past or anything that relates to the trauma that she faced during her childhood, Avoiding people that look like her abuser.

She’s more on guard when she’s with people or alone, She gets frightened more easily. At how severe the abuse was. Her brain has caused her to forget important aspects of her past.

She has difficulty feeling positive emotions.

She gets flashbacks whenever something or someone reminds her of her past.

She gets more irritated or has angry outbursts more now. Making her develop anger issues.

She has a lot of negative thoughts about herself.

She forgot who her abuser looked like.

As for how she deals with the trauma

krey has trust issues, along with reoccurring nightmares about her abuse she endured in the past. krey still uses art to cope with her trauma, usually sketching or painting. tho she paints or sketches under trees, in glow berry forests or somewhere hidden where no one would find her.

And kreys a 35 year old woman whose 5’8ft tall

As well as the fact she has a pet/mount named umbra. He’s a shadow-walker the one that Krey raised when she was 20.

So that’s for one of my ocs :D wish I could give you the lore for my other ocs but it’ll be a long post by then!