#i forgor which was the right way to tag it

[obsidian-art04]

Haha, oops

Have an out of context smp content for your enjoyment

[deadrlngers]

in whatever i have going on with my durge there's basically an extended family like we have iustitia that i consider as the older sibling, their twin sister prudentia, then there's the dragonborn durge, and then there's orin as the younger sibling and i imagine them all sitting at a table for lunch with blood or whatever rocks their boat with iustitia at the head of the table trying her best to ignore the knifes throwing from one side to the other and the insults like in some cartoonish type of fashion until they lose their temper and go (slams fist on the table) enough! orin you are indeed a freak, dragon brother you are a necrophile so jot that down, prudentia stop trying to eat my butler and everyone just shut the fuck up for a moment i'm trying to think of the ways i can fuck an elder brain

[lizhaoyu]

OMD THE TEA??? TAG ME IN PT 3 PLSPLS 🙏

Why so shy? PART 3

(A/N: Hello, gaymers. I don't know why you guys are shipping Iso x Clove and Iso x Gekko or Iso x Deadlock when you guys should CLEARLY ship ME WITH HIM instead. Anyway, I already wrote parts 3 and 4 in advance, I just forgor. Enjoy thirsting, gaymers.)

(WARNINGS: OOC Omen)

(GN!Reader x Iso) Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 (You are here.)

Part 4

Nervous.

That was no longer what you were feeling right now.

You were too busy running away from the medical ward and back to the privacy of your room.

Maybe it isn't Iso. Maybe it was you. Maybe it was your fault for getting ahead of yourself. Maybe it was your fault for assuming that Iso liked you in the same way that you do.

Maybe you shouldn't have gotten your hopes up.

You stop in front of your door, panting heavily. You had to prevent your tears from falling out of your eyes, especially outside of your room.

Your eyes slowly started blurring from the tears as you tried to pry open your door.

notnownotnownotnownotnow, your mind raced.

You successfully unlocked your door and stumble inside.

Finally, you're alone, just as you always were. You let the tears fall from your eyes, staining your cheeks and clothes.

You shouldn't have gotten your hopes up. Maybe then, you wouldn't be crying, you wouldn't be in pain, you wouldn't be in this situation—

A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts.

You immediately wiped your tears away and sucked everything up, before approaching your door.

"W-Who is it?" You ask through the door, trying your best to sound like you weren't crying.

"It's me, Omen." Omen's gruff voice was muffled from the outside.

You sniffle, slowly getting up and opening the door slightly, enough for you to peek out and see Omen.

"Hey, Omen... Do you need something?" You ask, albeit a little too quiet for your liking.

"Greetings," Omen nods.

"I've noticed that the atmosphere around the HQ seems a little darker than usual," Omen's 'eyes', which were just three slits, moved as he spoke.

"The shadows also seem a little unstable." Omen continued.

"I've already checked up on Fade, and she is in great condition. You however..." Omen paused, 'looking' at your eyes intently.

"I came to check in on you. The hallway leading here was especially dark, and it felt heavy." Omen nods.

"Oh- No, I'm okay, Omen. It must be someone else's ability...?" You reason, although you were bad at lying.

"But you are the only one with shadow-related abilities in this hallway." Omen tilts his head. If Omen had a real, human face, you'd probably see a very unimpressed expression on it.

"Well, shit." You sigh.

"I am your mentor. You can tell me," Omen paused.

"Though I may not understand nor offer any help, I am here." Omen continued.

is it just me or Omen is so very OOC rn lol, you thought.

"...Come in." You sigh, sliding the door open wider, wide enough for Omen to come in.

"Thank you." Omen nods, walking in your room.

You slide the door shut and turn to Omen, who took a seat on your desk chair. You were comfortable enough around Omen, as he was your mentor and your very first friend in the VP.

"It feels even heavier here," Omen breaks the silence.

"I take it that your problem must be even heavier on you." Omen turns to you as you sat down on you bed.

"It's just like what I have told you in the past. Your emotions affect your abilities greatly," Omen nods, clasping his hands together.

"Take Neon or Reyna for example." Omen continued.

"To lift the heavy energy emanating from your abilities, you must let out your emotions; Talk to someone." Omen nods.

"Or like how Reyna does it: Take it out on others." Omen visibly sighed, but no sound of it comes.

"However, I know that you are better than that. So, let's discuss what you are feeling," Omen 'glanced' at you.

"I... I don't know if you'll understand, Omen. It's... about love." You sigh.

this is so cringe bruh who even says its about love bro, you thought.

"I do not expect myself to understand, either. I am not profound in the topic of love," Omen shook his head.

"But I will listen." Omen continued.

"Communication is key, either you tell them, or you tell me. Either works fine," Omen looked around your room

damn bro when did omen suddenly know about love and communication bro im cooked, you thought.

But confessing to Iso? Hell no. You're already hurt by the current situation, you'd be stupid to confess and expect a different outcome.

"It's... about Iso." You sigh, rubbing the back of your head in hesitation.

"The new recruit? I see," Omen nods.

"I've... been interested in him ever since he first arrived," You sigh, averting your gaze.

"I thought I was making progress; That if I pursue him and show him that I like him, he'd feel the same way." You murmur, eyes locked onto your fingers.

"He was starting to say things that might mean something more, in a more than friends way." You say, recalling the things that have happened a few hours earlier.

"It even went as far as him asking me to go out and get some food," You lower your head.

"But I was stupid. I got ahead of myself." Tears started welling in your eyes.

"I started assuming that he liked me back; That he felt the same way." You stifle back a sob.

"So, it was really painful when I heard him asking Sage out on a date," You bit your lip, trying to hold back your tears.

"It was my fault for assuming that he likes me too." You held your hands to your face.

"...I see." Omen nods quietly.

"You can't have everything you want," Omen starts.

"And it's not that easy." Omen shook his head.

"But you have to understand that maybe Sage and Iso have a lot more things in common that you and him," Omen explained.

"Or what maybe Iso likes Sage more, maybe he's had his eye on her since he came." Omen nods

You could feel your heart breaking, slowly shattering into pieces.

"But I'm not saying that to hurt you," Omen shook his head.

"I am opening your eyes to see the truth; To see that you're not the only one for Iso." Omen continued.

"You're not the only one who may have an interest on Iso," Omen shook his head, 'looking' at you.

"Not everyone wins, and you must learn how to accept that; That Iso likes Sage and not you." Omen's words sent a pang of pain in your through your heart.

not you. notyounotyounotyounotyounotyounot-

"The shadows are suffocating." Omen says, snapping you out of your trance.

"I'm sorry, Omen." You sigh.

"Acceptance. Learn to accept it." Omen looked at the closed curtains of your window.

Maybe this was for the best. If Iso wanted to be with Sage, who were you to oppose that? You're just a friend.

Everything was just a friendly gesture.

"I understand. I know better now," You took a deep breath.

"Thank you so much, Omen." You smile softly, drying your tears.

"Do you really know better now?" Omen asks.

"I do, thanks to you. I'm really grateful for that." You nod.

"It's good that you're still learning from my words." Omen nods, standing up from his seat.

"You're the best mentor I could ever ask for, Omen. I'm always learning from you." You smile at him, also standing up.

You walk with Omen to the door, sliding it open for him..

"I expect only the best from you. Don't let this weigh you down." Omen nods, walking out of your room.

You slid the door shut as Omen left your room.

Omen's right. Even if you thought that Omen was a little too out of character earlier, whatever he said was right.

You sigh and walk to your desk, before noticing a little purple octopus gun buddy on the chair that Omen said on.

Omen must've left it on accident. You took it into your hands and headed for the door to chase after Omen.

You slide the door open and wow. Reality and fate must really enjoy hardfucking you in every single angle, huh?

In front of the open door of your room, outside the hallway was Iso with a small smile on his face.

"There you are." Iso smiles, taking out one earbud off of his ear.

whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck, you thought.

"Are you ready to go?" Iso asks.

go where? to heaven? yes im so fucking ready, you thought.

"Uh... huh?" You murmur.

"Did you forget? We're going out for hotpot, remember?" Iso chuckles.

"Oh, right," You avert your gaze.

I FUCKING FORGOT, you thought.

How were you gonna do this? You can't face Iso now.

"Is something wrong? You promised that we'd still go despite my injury," Iso tilts his head.

well shit it might be my fault for promising, you thought.

"I wanted to thank you for healing and saving me." Iso smiles, nodding.

"Right..." You nod hesitantly.

"So, are you ready?" Iso asked.

"Um, yeah." You step out of your room, sliding the door close behind you.

"Nice. Hm?" Iso smiles, then looks at your open palm.

"What's that?" Iso asks, gesturing to the octopus gun buddy.

"Oh... This is Omen's gun buddy. He must've forgotten about it and left it in my room." You show him the gun buddy.

"I was gonna return it to him, but maybe in another time." You shook your head, pocketing the gun buddy.

"Anyway, where are we headed?" You look at him.

"I know this hotpot place in the city. It's not that famous and crowded, so we can chill while eating," Iso smiles, pocketing his phone.

"I mean, we could just buy ingredients for hotpot and make it here, like what me and Sage did..." Iso paused.

Your ears rang. Sage again.

"But since it's gonna be about thanking you. I want it to be extra special." Iso smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

Your heart started beating faster.

No. Remember what Omen said. Don't get ahead of yourself.

Your mind was blank, trying to block out any thought.

"There's a mall near the hotpot place. We could go there if you'd like." Iso smiles.

Why's he acting like he has so much time? Doesn't he have a date with Sage?

Shut up. That's none of your business.

"Let's head to the city." Iso smiles, nodding his head.

-

You and Iso arrive at the bustling streets of the city. You looked around, observing the food stalls. Some were colorful, some were simple and bland.

Maybe going out with Iso to the city isn't so bad. It could take your mind off of things.

"What kind of food do you like?" Iso asked, walking with you through the bustling street.

"I don't really mind anything, nothing specific." You shook your head, shrugging your shoulders.

"What about flowers?" Iso asked.

Why's he asking that?

"Well, I've never really received flowers, soo... I don't think I have anything I prefer in mind." You shook your head again.

"Do you like lilacs?" Iso asked, question after question.

"I'm sorry if I'm asking too many questions." Iso smiles sheepishly.

"It's okay," You smile, shaking your head AGAIN. STOP SHAKING YOUR HEAD BRUH

This is just him getting to know you in a friendly way.

"Lilacs... I think lilacs are beautiful. Back in my college years, I used to research about lilacs." You hum.

"They have a lot of meaning to them. I think I'm confident that I love lilacs," You nod.

"Lilacs are related to your title, right?" You ask.

"Mm, yeah." Iso nods, his hands in his pockets.

"How about a dream date?" Iso asked.

"Huh? How'd it come to that all of a sudden?" You laugh.

It's getting difficult trying to ignore the thoughts.

"Sorry, was that too personal?" Iso chuckles.

"It's alright, no harm done." You smile.

"Before you answer, let's head to the hotpot place so we can get comfortable." Iso suggests.

"Good idea. Lead the way, then." You nod, trailing behind Iso.

-

Following Iso proved to be difficult in this lively street.

You lost Iso a couple of times. But thankfully, Iso was tall enough to so you could see his head above the others.

In one instance, you lost track of Iso and simply walked ahead. What startled you was the hand that suddenly grabbed your wrist.

"Hey, where are you going?" You turned and was met with Iso's lavender eyes with a worried expression on his face.

"Oh- Sorry! I lost you and I thought you were just walking ahead." You smile sheepishly.

"You can hold onto my arm so we don't lose each other." Iso offered his arm for you to hold onto.

There you go, you couldn't stop your face from flushing.

ohmygod im litereally about to bust bro someone call cleanup aisle my underwear cuz i have the niagra falls here with me, you thought.

You had to mentally reprimand yourself to stop getting ahead of yourself. Iso only offered it because you keep losing each other.

You nod hesitantly, holding onto his arm.

mygod he's so close to me dude im boutta bust the biggest nut ever, your mind raced, as well as your heart.

-

Holding onto Iso's arm surprisingly went well, and navigating through the crowd became easier.

Oddly enough, when you and Iso got away from the crowed, he didn't shake your arm off or move away.

It was more than enough to have you overthinking again.

POOKIE STOP THIS OHMYGOD DID YOU NOT LEARN FROM OMEN AT ALL, you mentally scolded yourself.

Okay, stop. Friends do this too, you know?

You and Iso arrived at the hotpot place that he talked about.

Iso went ahead, opening the door for you.

You smile, mouthing a small thank you and entering the restaurant.

While you checked out the place, Iso went to the receptionist for the table. The place looked to be a Chinese restaurant, with some Chinese writings on a red banner or paintings that you may or may not understand.

The tables and chairs looked to be made of red wood, with Chinese-style teapot and cups place in the middle of the table.

The atmosphere was calm and there were at least four groups of three in sight.

Your thoughts came to a halt when you felt a tap on your shoulder and see Iso with two menus on his hand.

"Hey, ready to take a seat?" Iso smiles at you, offering you the menu.

"Yeah," You nod, taking the menu.

You followed Iso to a table for two and sat down.

"So, about your dream date..." Iso paused.

"Oh, right. I don't really have a preference, but I think cafe dates or library dates are really good." You pondered for a moment.

"Dates that are peaceful and calm seems to slow down time, which means I get to appreciate and enjoy the date for longer." You smile at him.

"How about you? Do you have any preferences?" You ask.

"I like museum dates. The pictures I could get from it would look wonderful." Iso nods.

"Have you ever been on a date before?" You blurt out before you could stop yourself.

"Well... Today will be my first time." Iso smiles sheepishly.

Oh. His date with Sage.

Your ears started ringing again.

"We should order," Iso's voice snapped you out of your trance.

"Oh- Right. Sorry, I spaced out." You smile apologetically, looking through the menu with Iso.

-

Two hours had passed, it was now the afternoon. You and Iso walked around near the lake, talking and laughing, getting to know each other better.

Although you knew that this was nothing more than a friendly gesture, it wasn't so bad.

"We should head back to HQ," Iso sighs, his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, we should." You nod in response.

He still had a date with Sage, after all. Who were you to take up more of his time? Maybe he just wanted to go out with a friend before his date.

"I had a lot of fun." Iso looks at you, a small smile on his lips.

"Me too. I haven't been going out lately, so this was a nice change." You turn to him with a smile.

"I hope we'll do this again soon." Iso adds.

"I hope so too." You nod.

It made you sad that this was the closest as you can get to going on an actual date with Iso.

But that was okay.

-

You arrived back to HQ with Iso, seeing Sage seemingly waiting for Iso.

Your eyes met with Sage's as she smiled at you.

she must be really excited to go out with iso, you thought.

You said a simple and quick 'bye' to Iso before power-walking back to your room.

You hear Iso calling after you, which only fueled your tears as you ran away.

Here you were, crying from the start, and still crying in the end.

-

(A/N: wsg gaymers, what'd you guys think of my long ass updates lol, thanks for reading and supporting Why So Shy? and my other Iso works.)

[autisticandroids]

free space: "i forgor"

this is for fics that should have been on my other reclists for @spnficrecfest but, well, i forgor.

my other reclists are in this tag.

this list will be ordered by wordcount, but it will also be by category.

should have been on my season six reclist:

what a brave little ant you are by withthekeyisking, 2k

dean goes about his life. cas pops in, from time to time. dean is soooooo mad about it. the salmondean of it all is good too. great stuff. destiel.

there are no lies on your body by tiptoe39, 6k

post godstiel, cas is a poor little meow meow. dean's poor little meow meow. destiel.

the law of conservation of energy by peroxidepest17, 90k

an oldschool "what if cas capitulated in the man who would be king and they had to come up with a different plan" type fic. im kind of obsessed with this one. like the ways in which it's good and the ways in which it's weird. destiel.

should have been on my season nine reclist:

i shall not want by domesticadventures, 20k

a little season nine bunker depressionfic with good brother conflict.

should have been on my true au reclist:

après moi, le deluge by allthismusic, 11k

dean is an innocent hiker, and after he messes up his foot, he and his brother happen upon a nice cabin with a friendly cas inside. destiel. horror.

the fix by luulapants, 12k so far, chose not to warn

an au where dean is a conservative politician and cas is a fixer. this is like, the fic i have been longing for for literal years, and i can't think of a better author to take on the topic. wip, but my experience is that luulapants will finish what she starts. destiel

lillith's fayre by all_the_damned_vampires, 17k, chose not to warn

a strange and wonderful fic with a lot of fun character stuff. meg is the main character, and she's joined by casey and lenore, two favorite side characters from the early seasons. and cas, of course. it's a whole polycule thing. they're in the circus in the nineties. the demon circus. i was particularly compelled by lenore's characterization.

should have been on my canon-a-little-to-the-left reclist:

in the twilight kingdom by argentnoelle, 48k, violence and noncon warnings plus chose not to warn

so i am actually currently enjoying this fic right now and im not done with it. i'm like halfway through? which is maybe against the spirit of things. but im REALLY liking it so far. it's a rewrite of seasons four and five which takes place mainly in hell. deanalastair, destiel, megstiel, and deancasmeg. the deanalastair parts are particularly compelling to me because they're like written like, you know. it reads like a sugar daddy thing. except of course you know how things started. you KNOW. sickeninggggg. and of course dean and meg are brainwashing themselves a castiel. which i'm greatly enjoying so far.

should have been on my rarepair reclist:

a rock with a hole in it by de_nugis, 11k

cas has an interlude with soulless sam in fairyland. a kind of fascinating, unsettling pastoralism. and it's not even set in season six. sastiel, unrequited destiel.

should have been on my outsider pov reclist:

leave my body, moving up to higher ground by trieduntrue, 17k

post godstiel, cas has to switch vessels. an adventure from the point of view of the vessel. i'm kind of obsessed with this author. the vessel character is so charming to me, i enjoy her. yes: this is a female vessel cas fic, lol. destiel.

[tornoleander]

Wow, you're the beta reader for bbnb? I didn't know that. (So you can confirm that Hat is infact not dead because I haven't seen any activity from them in a while and my brain always jumps to worst case scenarios)

Anyway, definitely didn't forget to respond for like a week, but here are some of my theories/scenarios:

-I still think Cole's the one who'll remember bits and pieces because A. He's a ghost B. Hat used he/him when talking about who will remember and C. It would be incredibly emotionaly impactful

-HOWEVER, I think Pixal could also remember some stuff. None of the emotional stuff but she did technically die when Nadakhan erased her. Besides, it could be fun to see her try to let Jay or Nya know she remembers while still stuck to Zane.

-also Zane's falcon died but he was never mentioned in this fic so 😔

-Jay DEFINITELY has c-ptsd. Like, 100%, I'm sure the nurse/psychologist whose name I forgor would agree with me

-I'm pretty sure Wu just died by some falling island or something like that. Or he could've died by the storm, that would be cool.

-I know he said that swearing is a sign of weak verbal skills but I feel like Jay would start swearing more for comfort. Like, Nadakhan hated it but never truly did anything horrible to him because of it :)

most of the scenarios in my head play out with the ninja being captured again

-for example, Jay using his internal electricity to shock someone when they all have vengestone

-or them getting tazed and Jay sending the current back like he did in the electric chair

-or they're all traped and saying shit like "there's no other option" or something and Jay replying with "suicide's still an option" like that's a normal thing to say which obviously worries the others

And then there's the non captured scenarios

-something something Jay falling into autopilot after being told/asked to clean to ship and ends up also cleaning the hull "Why are you cleaning the bottom? We're in the air and you're not even tied to anything???" ".... trauma response?"

-or just straight up Jay having a panic attack out of seemingly sowhere (Cole said he wished he could eat cake again)

Anyway, those are the things I could think of right now, there's more but it's 3:39am and I'm tired :3

Hope it's not too long lol

Yep! As of ch 15. Me and hat have been chatting for a while and I bug them for feedback on Art accuracy so I help them with some writing corrections too!

I have been working on beta reading earlier chapters as well currently half way through 4. It is certainly an experience but now I yell my feelings into comment instead of just the void

*reaches through horrific horror to correct spelling mistake.

Yup Hat is alive! They were just fixated on something else for a while but they are back.

Ok now for scenarios

-Cole remembering bits……. I will refrain from giving my thoughts.

-Pixal and Zane’s falcon died pretty early so I do think they may remember up till then but It probably wouldn’t help understand much.

-I don’t think Wu died? But it’s not impossible.

-CPTSD?

I will ask hat about this one but seeing as bbnb events qualify as at least 4/6 of these causes of it AND ptsd is a tag I’m going to give it a yeah. Cause non complex ptsd is typically less prolonged.

-the swearing I do think he might do more but not necessarily for comfort

-For your head scenarios I am not sure all the ways hat is planned show how the events of the fic messed him up. But I know they’re a big fan of consequences for events…

From what I’m guessing he is going to be trying his best to hide everything and it’ll be somewhat canon compliant? But to be fair He is pretty consistently the most mentally unstable ninja. Take This with a big grain of salt I’m saving the analysis for my skybound video, but his behavior does generally line up well with SA surivers. the first time that Jays a prisoner post Skybound is when he says “You don’t argue with a man who’s navel is that close”

Which

Drives me insane by the way

Side tangent, I’ve been doing a lot of Skybound digging for my eventual video essay. And my current best theory on why this is a line has to do with SA of men being played for laughs.

Like older audiences are supposed to hear that and find it fucking funny. It’s unfortunately not uncommon in kids programming. My quest to best explain why S6 is so uncomfortable has been… enlightening. Terrified of approaching a controversial topic so I have been learning a-lot about approach and how to not be awful. But my fixation is being channeled led into the eventual Skybound video.

Hope I answered what you wanted to know and It wasn’t purely my Adhd rambling

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Imagine: naegamigiri in Death Note 👀

My brain is taking this in 4 different ways. 1. They are simply in the Death Note universe, like, they just live there. Maybe it's some kind of reimagining of some sorts in this crossover. Kyoko being a detective trying to also crack this case and Makoto and Byakuya tagging along. Not really sure what they'd be doing in here. Like, if they were all sleuthing for Light and all too on their own little side thing, not connected to L. I feel they might die though if they're not carful. 2. A reimagining where they are in the roles of Death Note characters. Maybe Kyoko as L, maybe Byakuya as Light and Makoto as Misa or maybe flipping that around or having Toko be Misa and Makoto be someone else. Leaning toward the Makoto as Misa or Makoto being there in that weird trio in general though cus of the messy stuff that could transpire. 3. Weird time-warpy au shenanigans where the three are transported to the Death Note universe by some entity or something and they gotta find a way back home to their own universe or face being stuck in this one forever. 4. They have the Death Note, either in a "they're in the Death Note universe" way or in a "They have the Death Note with them in their universe" way. This can go so many differing directions though. Like, it could be just in the first game of some sorts, maybe the 2nd or in the Danganronpa 3 anime. Also reminds me, I THINK there was a weird equivalent of the Death Note as a gift in one of the games. The Love Note I think? I forgot from which game or if I'm just making this up though. The problem I'm facing though is that I have not watched Death Note, I only know the basic gist but not any of the cool stuff, and also "I take a potato chip, and eat it!". That's it ;-; Like, I would have done something cooler like draw this but I am just at a loss of what to do and I don't wanna just be cheap and just snatch a screenshot and draw that.I really should watch it to be honest. I moslty say watch since I have no way to get the manga or anything and I have a better shot at the anime. I have no way to though at the moment and I'm too far into Danganronpa to get out right now. I could maybe though with some planning. Like, if I'm able to play Omori, I should be able to watch some anime or something!! At least I hope. I could just be giving myself too much credit here hehe! Edit: Added like, 3 tags cus I forgor them before! My bad!

[omniblades-and-stars]

WIP ... WThursday?

I was tagged my my marvelous friend @mushroommanchanterelle like 2 days ago and I forgor. It's been rough out there for Daisy, so you guys can forgive me, right?

Anyways, I'm gonna tag @outpost51, @lag-train, @stormikins, and @sparatus why not?

Here have a slice of some piece of Pass the Knife that's so far in the future we may not even see it this calendar year based on the rate I'm posting chapters (very much rough draft territory):

Still standing just inside her living room like a deer caught in the headlights, Lou’s voice rose, coming out strained and frustrated. “I blocked your contact information, like you asked … hold on a fuckin’ minute!” Lou shouted, throwing her hands in the air, “Did you just say mama called you?” ���Yes, she called me. We were worried about you, baby,” Alice responded with false sweetness. “Why are you doin’ this to me?” Lou cried out. “I don’t know what you mean, Lou.” “This, Alice. Accuse me of playin’ fucking mind games, and you show up in my goddamn house, cause my mama asked you to? Like I'm a goddamn child!” Alice took a step closer to Lou arms outstretched as if to hug the distraught woman, but Lou staggered back. “Come on, baby. Don't act like that,” Ali said as she crossed her arms. “We can talk about this like adults.” “Just stop, please!” “Stop what, Louise? I'm not doing anything.” Tears stung at the corners of Lou's eyes and she balled up her fists before saying, “You came into my home. My home! Because my mama asked you to. You want to pretend like there ain't anything wrong with that, and you want to pretend there ain't anything wrong between us? And you have the fuckin’ gall to say we can talk about this like adults? Get the fuck out!” “Come on, Louise. Don’t be like this. I didn't mean what I said before about not contacting me again. I was just upset! We can make this work again, Lou-bug. We always have before.” “Don't you dare call me that,” Lou said darkly, her chest rising and falling rapidly as the tethers on her restraint threatened to snap. “You gonna step out on me again? Gonna keep telling me to get my scars fixed, cause they ain’t pretty? They’re a part of me damn it! You never treated me right!” Lou exclaimed, her voice echoed shrilly down the hall through the open door. Nilea couldn’t stand by and listen to this anymore. She ran through a list of ways to intervene, most of which involved disproportionate levels of violence. She groaned as she settled on one idea that was possibly one of the most hare-brained, sure to backfire plans she'd ever come up with. “Follow my lead,” she said quietly to Inonsi.

[hawkewatching]

Dark Sun (Arthur Harrow x Reader)

Chapter 2: Do You Know Me? (7,014 words)

Previous Links: Chapter 1 (Please check chapter 1 for any warnings and tags if you're interested, they are the same here)

Rated Mature for dark themes and some strong language.

Summary:

"You can walk away if you want, I wouldn’t stop you. But you won’t.”

What happens when he gets close? Do you want to test that? Do you want to test yourself?

A/N: My bad yall I kinda forgor to post, the only thoughts about this fic that I've had for two weeks is about finally finishing the current chapter I'm working on (chapter 15 hits AO3 in a couple of days, if you're waiting on that watch that space). Also I gotta say my favourite part of posting here is picking a slightly tangentially-related pic for the top, I always remember my thought processes for these chapters so they evoke scenes and ideas that I drew upon here. Iirc this chapter was written about July/August 2022, I remembering suffering from mega writer's block while working on this. I suffered so bad to write this one at the time. So enjoy it, enjoy my favourite bad bad man, I'm so in love with him it hurts.

~~~

Why is he here? He isn’t supposed to be here.

The sound of crunching glass immediately strikes fear into you, even if it is only momentary. No amount of exposure to it can make you used to it. Even though you don’t negatively associate the presence that accompanies it, something about how it sounds can never be spun in a positive light in your mind.

You had been previously leaning over a cardboard box of your belongings, packing up and ready to move out of the small flat that you’d previously called home. When you looked behind you, following the sound, you saw a sight that you knew to expect but hadn’t quite prepared for.

Harrow was leaning in your doorway, still holding on to that cane as if it helped at all. He looked exactly the same as when you’d first met him a few days prior, right down to the clothes. You hadn’t forgotten a single thing about him, and you should have welcomed the familiar sight, but something prevented you. You couldn’t remember if you’d ever told him where you lived, and he certainly hadn’t been invited.

You raised an eyebrow, suspicious of his sudden appearance. “Are you going to help or are you just going to watch?” You asked, only half sarcastic.

He tilted his head. “From my understanding it appears that you’ve already done most of the heavy lifting.”

“True, I could have done with you randomly showing up here an hour ago.” That was fully sarcastic, and you looked away from him to close up the box you were handling.

He began to take some steps forward, and you tried to hide your own repulsion to that sound that always followed him. “I apologise, I just wanted to oversee things.” He sounded genuine, but at the same time a little distant, noticing that you still looked at him with distrust.

You narrowed your eyes, watching him as he now stood next to you. The way he looked down at you made for an unintentionally intimidating presence that you refused to back down on. You tried to hide your feelings with a scoff and an unenthused smile. “What’s that supposed to mean? I wasn’t going to bail.”

His smile, which was supposed to be reassuring, only served to further stoke your rebellious flames. “I didn’t think you would.”

Finally, you became serious, unsure of his exact intentions. “I don’t need you to worry about me.” You insisted, but something didn’t seem to convince him.

“It wouldn’t hurt to have me worrying about you.” You were unable to hide your confusion when he put a hand on your shoulder, but it was only momentary when one of his damned smiles began to put you at ease. You didn’t mind him doing that, even if you didn’t understand it.

You could only look at him, not knowing how to reply to that. You didn’t really know what it meant, and didn’t dare ask. Given that context, you somewhat appreciated his unexpected company.

He leaned in and moved forward, with your response immediately being to brace yourself for whatever was to come. However, you were surprised to see him go around you instead. The rasp of his voice was next to left ear.

“It’s not too much further, but don’t get lost, alright?” Harrow asked. The question sounded almost playful, but you didn’t know how to respond to the game.

Pinned to the spot, you didn’t dare follow him with your gaze, but his sounds more than indicated him circling around you. He’d said his part, and you saw him again when he’d finished that lap, returning to where he had been a moment before.

He looked at you with a warm stare, a smile only just present. Your nervousness began to disappear at the sight. For once, you felt able to lower your guard. It felt safe.

What was this? Trust? On both our parts?

You only wished to know why he would do all of this for you, but as always, he was a total mystery. A mystery you hoped this new chapter of your life would solve.

***

Crunch, tap. Crunch, tap. Crunch, tap. Crunch, tap.

Anticipation was already eating at you as it was. That was enough torture for you. You didn’t need the addition of those sounds, which you thought you had escaped, getting to you through the walls. Not even the source being in another room could prevent you from having to experience it all over again.

It had been a week since you’d settled into this place. Your experience so far had been pretty good. Harrow’s promises had turned out not to be empty. Although you were still adjusting, you had found this environment to be welcoming, and the people rather kind. They weren’t like their leader at all, they all seemed… normal. When that realisation hit you, you didn’t feel so out of place anymore, and you had found great comfort in that.

Now, you were waiting in a hallway, the hot sun beaming through the windows straight onto you, not helping the already awkward situation. Directly across from you was the room that Harrow was supposed to be in. Well, there was no doubt that he was in it. You had been told that he wanted to see you, and that never really boded well.

You had already seen him a lot, but never in a context like this. Usually, he came to you. He would do that a lot, actually. You never objected to his company, sometimes you welcomed it. If you were alone, he always made sure that it was never for long. He didn’t seem to do this for other people, and they had noticed. No one had a definitive answer to explain that.

Something about the way he is just doesn’t sit right.

He would just sit with you and listen, but the conversation was awkward. He never talked about himself, and you had a hard time talking about yourself, so it mostly boiled down to talking about whatever seemed to be happening on that particular day. It wasn’t exactly riveting, but it was something? Regardless, you were running out of ground to cover. Something had to give. You knew there was something deeper, he had to have a motivation, but that was totally unknown to you.

He had stopped moving. You sighed loudly, trying to fill the eerie silence with something else. The moment was short-lived though, and almost as quickly as it disappeared you could hear him walking again.

Before you had time to process that, there was a clicking of a lock and one of the large, wooden doors that served as the room’s entrance opened a crack. Through it, you could see half of his face, and half of a warm smile.

“You’re here. Come in.” His enthusiasm surprised you, and you could tell he was happy to see you. You just weren’t sure why.

Once he had finished speaking, he just watched you, waiting for your move. You followed him, deliberately cautious. When you got close to the door, he pulled it open for you, revealing a large room that, while spacious, felt claustrophobic with its low-hanging lights and various items stacked up against the walls from top to bottom.

Harrow was shuffling towards the back, where a corner was stacked with sturdy, waist-high boxes. Littered there were various unknown, shiny objects. Drawn to those like a crow, he didn’t pay you much mind for a moment. You’re unable to find the same fascination, but everything around you looks alien to you.

You looked away from him for only a moment to try to better understand your surroundings, but right on cue, he opened his mouth, immediately making you whip your head back around in his direction.

“How are you taking to this place?” The question tumbles out of his mouth innocently. He didn’t even look at you, but somehow, you felt as if he was still staring right through you.

You tried not to let it get to you. “It’s good.” You replied.

He gives a satisfied hum, and for a moment, you’re tricked into thinking that would be all he would say on the matter. Before you can get comfortable, he takes a sharp breath that sets the tone. “Is it… helping?” He stares you down, hiding an eagerness for your answer. The pressure was on.

You recognised the way he looked at you. You’d seen it before. He’d looked like that in your first conversation, you remembered the flash in his eyes that he’d tried to hide. The ever-veiled threat.

Don’t be honest, tell him everything is fine.

You ignored the pleas of your own mind. Dismissed it as paranoia. You could trust him, or at least, you wanted to. For better or for worse, he had compelled you to be honest, but in your shame, you couldn’t look at him. “It’s too soon to say, I think.”

When you picked up the courage to glance his way again in the silence that followed, you could tell that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. His unblinking stare, the way his hands seemed to grasp tighter around that cane, all set off your mind’s warning sirens. But nothing on his expressionless face portrayed that. It appeared almost as a blank canvas, preparing to paint whichever response he deemed most appropriate.

Whatever plan he had, he’s changing it.

Your curiosity got the better of you. “What is all of this, anyway?” The question slips out of your mouth before you have time to fully evaluate the situation, your eyes darting around the room at all of the strange objects.

“Just items I’ve collected in my research.” He replied coolly, picking up an object that flashed gold in the light so brightly that you couldn’t quite tell what it was. “Most of these things are dead ends, but I find there’s no harm in keeping them, just in case.” He handled it with great care, carefully placing it back down. It didn’t quite match with the disinterested tone of his voice.

“And what about all of those?” You pointed to the back wall of the room, where some large - your first instinct was to call them boxes - but they were much more elaborate than that, were shoved into the corner, as if hidden. The longer your eyes lingered on them, the more you were able to discern that their size and shape seemed disturbingly human.

That idea didn’t make you totally comfortable, but you kept a cool head. Your better instinct, starting to understand his antics, knew to give him nothing to work with. You couldn’t let him have control of the game.

He didn’t even look at the subject of the conversation. His eyes instead locked with yours, the corner of his mouth twitching with indecision.

I’ve got you.

You could tell he knew how to pick his battles, but in choosing not to respond he had also admitted defeat. You had managed to call him out, and while that was a small personal victory, it was quickly followed with the realisation that your first examination must have been correct, and the implications were staggering. You could almost respect his ability to always come out on top in these conversations, if you weren’t the one always losing.

Under the weight of that realisation, your voice became hesitant. “Those aren’t what I think they are.”

Finally, he found his smile. “That would depend on what you think they are.” Now you’d given him something. Harrow leaned forward on his cane, completely calm. You thought you had caught him, but the indifference hadn’t shifted one bit. “I didn’t kill any of them, you know.” He stated.

You scoffed with sarcasm. “Yeah, sure.”

He wandered over to the bodies, brushing a hand over the nearest one. “You’d be surprised how many ancient Egyptians were buried with objects of immense value.” His words were a little quieter than usual, as if his mind was distracted.

You dare to take a step closer, standing next to him and looking down at his hand, now tracing the shape of what you assumed to be legs. “Went for a spot of grave robbing, did you?” You felt daring, confidence boosted by your minor win, and sought to further touch a nerve in him, but it didn’t seem to have any effect.

“I suppose you could say that. It made for some fascinating adventures, really.” He gave a small smile, and looked sentimental. You assumed that the thoughts that had made him distant in the moment were driven by nostalgia, and chose, despite the temptation, not to judge. He seemed to snap back into reality, a much more focused gaze now directed back at you. “But I’m past that point now. There’s not much exploring left to do.” He said that with real conviction, leaving you with no more questions.

The way he looked at you made you feel awkward, and you continued to apply the sarcasm. It was the only way you could express your distaste. “That’s great, I’m sure those dead people would prefer to remain undisturbed.”

You almost envied his ability to take all of the criticism levied at him without as much as a complaint. You had insulted just about everything he stood for and he didn’t seem to care one bit. He couldn’t be swayed.

That can only mean that he hides a terrifying level of commitment. You should be afraid of that.

You ignored your own thoughts, dismissing your own imagination as just overactive. You knew this already, yet you were still here.

Harrow was, as you knew him to be, unflappable. You could see the side of his face, and a smile creeping up it. “It’s all for a good cause. After all, if you try to hide something, it will always be found, eventually.” His face darkened during his last sentence, the instant seriousness putting you on edge. He turned, slowly but suddenly, and caused you to flinch as his intense gaze sliced through you. “They simply had it coming.”

You felt thoroughly intimidated, and tried to deconstruct his possible motivations, for you knew he’d wanted this response from you. It seemed like a reminder that you were playing with fire, and you were so, so close to being burnt.

Does he know something? Who am I kidding, he ALWAYS knows.

You suddenly began to remember how you even ended up here. Of course he wanted you for something. “Why did you want to see me?” You asked cautiously.

He seemed amused by that, as if you should have known the answer yourself. “I just wanted to talk. Properly. We haven’t been able to do that just yet.” Harrow tilted his head. The friendly sincerity that had followed him on the first night you’d met him had properly returned.

You gave him a look of confusion. “It’s not like we haven’t spoken-”

“Speaking and talking are two different things.” He cut you off, and while glancing down on you in a condescending manner, his tone doesn’t change, making for a creepy contrast. “You don’t seem very interested in doing the latter.”

Is this… impatience?

That seemed out of character for him. Curiosity began to get the better of you again, even though you seemed convinced that it would assure your downfall. You had a desire to outplay his games, but the line between beating him and playing into his hands was becoming increasingly blurred.

You gave a crafty smile, but spoke as if disinterested. It was the kind of contrast you could pick on, so you had no doubt in your mind that he had observed it too. “It’s not that I’m not interested, it’s that I don’t know how to.”

And you fucking scare me.

“Well, how about a lesson?”

The way he looked at you and the way he asked made him sound so innocent, but the demand was hidden under there. You couldn’t say no to him, even though you knew you should. It didn’t seem like an option.

“What would that be?” You asked, trying to suppress your feelings,

You couldn’t take his eyes off of him as he began to approach you, locked in place. Whatever was coming, you had to accept it. This was what he had wanted.

You only hoped he wasn’t asking too much of you.

He scoffed, a small smile forming. He acted like the answer was obvious. “You have to learn to accept help.” He leaned down a little to get on your level. “I am trying to help you.”

Perhaps it was the way he looked at you, that stare that always made you nervous. Or perhaps it was that he had all the energy of a teacher scolding a child. Something about his offer didn’t work for you. You gritted your teeth in annoyance. “You’re not doing a very good job of it.”

Your comment amused him, but he only lets that be known for a flash before he turned more serious. “That’s because it’s a two-way street. If you give me nothing, I can’t give you anything either.”

“What do you want from me, then?”

You expected his intentions to be suspicious. Every time you felt like you could trust him, he did something to change your mind, and you could tell he was doing all of this because he wanted something. There had to be an ulterior motive.

He gave an exasperated sigh, as if your questioning had tired him out. “I just want you to talk to me. That’s all I want. Nothing else.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to reply, only watching as he stared right through you, as if waiting. For the first time, you weren’t objecting to his games out of choice, but out of confusion, totally clueless on what your next move should be.

Your silence must have surprised him, as he scoffed, but the advance warning did not prepare you for the volume of the chuckle that followed. “I want to know how to help you, I want to know how to fix your problems, and I want to see you more.” A relieved smile formed after his words.

He means it.

Despite your racing mind, you didn’t give away any emotion, and forced something, anything out of your mouth. “Why?” You asked softly.

Harrow looked towards the window for a beat, head tilting as he seemed to think. When the words came to him, he faced your way again, and you observed that he’d dropped the seriousness and the distance. There was something warm about his energy. He no longer looked past you, but at you. “Because letting you go would be a waste. A waste of someone good. Not just for the world, but…” He let out a long, drawn-out sigh, purposefully delaying the rest of his words. “For me.”

Suddenly, everything began to make sense. Somehow, this outcome had never crossed your mind. You hadn’t expected it. Perhaps you’d thought too much of him.

He’s not helping me, he’s helping himself?

You couldn’t help but wonder if all of this had been for his own ends. That you had simply been used. All of the promises he had made to you felt hollow. It made you feel sick. This was a trap.

In your confusion, you hesitated before getting your words out, nearly choking on them. “Do I really need to be here, or did you just want me to be here?”

The way he looked at you hadn’t changed, but in a new context he still appeared as distant as ever, even with the still-present smile.

Fuck! How does he feel nothing? He has to know what he’s done.

He straightened himself up a little, looking down on you. “That’s entirely up to you. You can walk away if you want, I wouldn’t stop you. But you won’t.” The smile seemed to more naturally fit to a newfound smug confidence, certain that he had read you like a book.

His conviction in your own feelings disgusted you. “You don’t know me.” You scowled.

He hummed, almost in agreement. “I know all of this is helping you.”

A tidal wave of emotions was overcoming you, too many too quickly to decide on one. It was the opposite to Harrow, calm and firmly decided on whatever that strange mind had settled on. You began to raise your voice: “Do not pretend to know me. How do I know you’re not acting selfishly? I-”

Knock, knock.

You gave a loud sigh, the knocks having completely ruined your train of thought. You could see, as always, that he was giving you nothing. Even now, when you’d tried to make an impact, you couldn’t break through his defences.

There’s a flash of irritation in his eyes at the idea of being interrupted, but as soon as a woman appears at the door, another disciple, it disappears. He appears to immediately understand the importance of whatever is to come.

“We just heard back from our contact in the Alps. They’ve agreed to your terms for the exchange.”

“That’s great news. Thank you.” His smile is warm and genuine, but the woman seems to register a subtle indication that his matter with you is private and swiftly leaves. He stared at the door, left ajar, his mind far more focused on the news he had just received.

After a beat of no response, he slowly approaches the door.

Crunch, tap. Crunch, tap. Crunch, tap. Cr-

Harrow slammed the door shut, turning to you now with a different expression. His eyes narrowed and darkened, and his offence was clear. For a moment, you felt something shift in the air. For the first time, you truly felt his power. You didn’t know the extent of it, as far as you’d seen and heard, it was stronger than it seemed, and the mystery of that was too much to bear. Anxiety suddenly began to eat at your stomach, afraid of his next move.

“Don’t assume I’m acting selfishly.” He growled, but in the span of a breath he had recomposed himself. All of a sudden his expression shifted in the blink of an eye, turning distant, unoffended. The same as usual, especially when you felt those ever-analytical eyes once again staring you down. He was far too good at hiding his feelings, but you wished to never find out again what he could possibly be thinking. He continued softly, thinly veiling a condescending tone: “That's almost insulting. I would never bring you into something that I didn’t think would be good for you.”

In that moment, you realised why he didn’t seem fazed at all by your negative reaction. Somehow, you were still playing his game. This is what he had expected. You were cornered, at this point, and the only solution left was to follow your heart, hoping that would help you escape.

He knows your heart.

“Forgive me for the insult.” You said sarcastically, not caring how he would respond, but still observing his unblinking gaze that didn’t even seem to register your comment. It unnerved you, and you folded your arms in an attempt to preserve your deteriorating defiant act. “I wouldn’t have that problem if I actually knew who the hell you were.”

He tilted his head with a smile, your words seeming to have the opposite of their intended effect on him. “I see how it is. It’s a matter of trust. That’s a starting point.” He sat down across from you, fingers stroking the head of the cane as he held it between his legs. That seemed to be a subconscious act, because his gaze did not once break from you. “Tell me, why don’t you trust me?”

You hated how genuine his question was, because you had long learned the lesson that always, somehow, Harrow already had every answer he ever needed.

“You already know.” You spat.

“I might.”

You gave him a nasty look for that comment, your contempt too great to suppress.

He responded to your stare with one of his own, but as per usual, he was seemingly immune to your efforts, continuing on as if your gaze hadn’t interrupted him. “I want to hear it from your perspective. Lay it all out.”

You raised an eyebrow, finding yourself leaning sideways on a table, sick of standing. “Only if you do the same.”

He paused for a moment, taking the time for a slow blink. You imagined that the gears of his mind must have been turning at your proposal, but his face did everything in its power to hide that. The silence betrayed the truth, though. With a deep breath and a shuffle as he straightened himself up, almost mirroring you as he leaned forwards and balancing on his own cane, he had prepared his answer.

“That seems reasonable.”

I didn’t expect that.

Even though you were surprised, you’d already rehearsed in your mind what you’d say to him. You’d been doing that for a week. You tried to take a trick out of his book and not betray that you had to think a little, though. With him, you knew that one wrong word and he’d play around it so expertly you’d never get this chance again. “Alright. I don’t trust you because I don’t understand you.”

He tilted his head in an almost adorable display of curiosity. “What don’t you understand?”

“Anything.” Your frustration started to come through as you spoke. “Why you are the way that you are.”

For a moment, he glanced away from you again, something you assumed to be a tell when he didn’t quite know what to say. When he spoke, any sense of uncertainty disappeared. He didn’t appear to be capable of seeming unsure. “There are some things in this world far beyond any of us, and if one was to cross paths with such things, they could break you in ways most of us could only imagine to be possible. For me, that happened long before all of this.” Although it was out of your field of view, you could hear him softly tap his cane against the wood.

You took a moment to process his words, suddenly brimming with curiosity. “What do you mean?”

He gave a dry chuckle. “You’ll probably find it unbelievable.”

Despite everything you had seen, your mind’s first instinct was to believe that he was simply making excuses, trying to dodge the question. He hadn’t been open about it in the past, which had only made you want to know more. There was something hidden in his heart that he was teasing you with. You snorted, dwelling on his words again. “Try me.”

This time, there was no telling moment of pause, his stare cutting right through you. “I was once under direct servitude of a god, who used that position to abuse me. He broke me completely, then left me all alone to pick up the pieces.”

His bluntness on this topic surprised you. This was a lot to throw in so quickly, and it seemed like he knew that.

“I was stuck, trapped fighting a worthless cause for years, all while the voice inside my head tried its hardest to bend me to its will. I was forced to commit unspeakable acts of violence, all in the name of real justice.” He spat those last words, face twisting to one that appeared to be of genuine disgust and pain. For the first time, the Harrow you knew looked somewhat vulnerable. “It never was. Hurting the people who deserved that after the fact never stopped any more pain from being inflicted.”

Guilt. You felt his, and the sudden appearance of your own. He had this appearance of something untouchable, and while you always knew it to be a carefully crafted image, it had achieved its intended effect. Hidden under all of that was something that was hurting a lot. More pain that you felt you could possibly understand. There was a real, deep history here. Even with how crazy it all sounded, you could tell by the way that he felt that it all had to be true. And that meant…

You had to stop yourself from speaking while your thoughts caught up, looking right at him as you saw his face slowly recover from the feelings that had taken over it before. “Everything this group believes…” These tales of gods aligned with everything you’d been hearing, and you knew what that meant. “It’s all real, isn’t it?”

“As real as you and me.” He found a smile again, standing up. His feet shifted on the glass, which must have brought some pain, but he didn’t show it. ”I knew you’d come around eventually. We have an opportunity now to correct our mistakes.”

As he took another step closer, you watched him carefully, eyes narrowed with suspicion. “I think you mean your mistakes.”

“No. We’re all guilty.” He replied with total confidence, his voice once again shifting into something more serious. “Why are you here, really? You’ve made mistakes, haven’t you?” His questioning was a bit too antagonising for your tastes.

You didn’t say anything, knowing full well that you were both aware of the answer.

“For some of us, it’s not too late to walk a better path. You’ve got room for a second chance.” There was something reassuring to his words, and despite everything about him, you had no reason to doubt that particular statement, but he cut off any chance for a response with a sigh. “For myself, it’s not as clear. But you never know if you don’t try, do you?”

The talk of himself piqued your interest again. “I don’t get it. Why claim to fight all evil yet preach about second chances? If your actions were so unspeakable, why do you go unpunished?”

For a moment, he doesn’t give any reaction at all, seemingly thrown off by the question. When the answer comes, it appears with no hesitation. You can tell he’s pondered this question before. “I do punish myself. And on judgement day, if I am deemed unworthy… so be it. I accept my fate.”

He shifted his weight and you heard it. His punishment. The fanatic part of him was showing, you knew it had been hidden somewhere. This talk was insane, and served to remind you why you had been so apprehensive.

He’ll try to make you forget this.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you failed to respond, giving him the green light to not only continue with his words, but to approach until he was standing right next to you. “I’m willing to do that for the people who deserve heaven on earth. All that is required of you here is to be ready and waiting for that day. If you make it…” He put his hand on your shoulder, his warm touch surprising you. “It’ll be a little more worth it.”

There it is.

You felt doubt wash over you, refusing to believe that he spoke the truth. Not only because you didn’t hold yourself that high, but because you found yourself distrustful of his words. They were too kind, especially coming from him.

You could only look up at him, mouth agape. With a sigh, you composed yourself. “I doubt I make that much of a difference.”

He leaned in closer, an advance you did not reject, until his face was close to yours. His watery eyes hadn’t been this close before, and they looked at your own instead of through them. “You undervalue yourself.” He told you almost in a whisper, trying to be reassuring.

His words almost worked, and you giggle at the thought of them being true. “You overvalue me.”

He finds your reply entertaining for a moment, but his face quickly drops, and you can feel a finger or two in your hair. “Maybe. But you seem to think that you don’t matter, which simply isn’t true. People do value you.” He spoke with utter conviction, enough to make the back of your mind believe him.

“And who would those people be?” You questioned, hoping to hear what you knew he was thinking from his own mouth, but when he didn't respond, you realised your mistake. He doesn’t need to say anything, for he knows the same thing that you do: Your question has already been answered.

You took half of a step backwards away from him, and he follows your cue to break away. His face flashes with concern for a moment, and you didn’t miss it. You decided to make your question more specific. “Why do you care so much about me?”

He doesn’t think about his response for very long at all. “That’s a question I don’t know the answer to.”

His bluntness greatly surprised you. Him not appearing to know something surprised you more. “That’s a first.” Your sarcasm is kinder this time, unable to help yourself at making a jab that wasn’t necessarily deserved in your mind.

Of course, he doesn’t care how you’ve spoken, just that you have, and he takes a moment this time to get his words right. “I’ve spent a great deal of my life keeping people at a distance. I have a track record of hurting people in every way imaginable. I think perhaps I’m finally at the point where I’m no longer afraid of that.” Just like when talking about his past, there’s something shockingly sincere in his voice.

You caught onto his wording, hoping that he hadn’t thought that through in the moment. You knew that was a naïve thought. That realisation causes you to betray your concern. “You don’t hurt people anymore?”

“I don’t hurt them as much.” He replied callously.

That does not instil confidence. You wanted to chastise him for such a mindset, or even ask for elaboration, but your first and foremost thoughts are self-centred. “What about me?”

An opportunistic glint in his eye appeared after you asked. Before he even began to speak, you know that this is a moment he had been waiting to pounce on. “That brings me to why I summoned you here. I need to test you.”

“Test me how exactly?” You weren’t sure why you asked, because you already knew full well where he was going.

“The same way that I’m sure you’re familiar with.” The words tumbled out. He seemed much more focused on you, eyes glancing up and down over you. When his gaze calms down, he continues. “You were paying attention before, weren’t you?” He may have smiled, but you couldn’t tell if that was a joke or a threat.

For better or for worse, you remembered everything. “You said you didn’t force this on people.” You replied concernedly.

The proof that you had been listening previously strengthens his conviction. “Sometimes there are exceptions. And I need to know.”

“You need to know what?”

“If I’m right about you.” You could barely hear his words as he took a step closer, half overcome by nervousness and half because he had practically whispered that. He gave you a reassuring smile, but it only appeared for half a second.

You felt frozen as you felt him grab onto your wrists. You had been too busy watching his face to watch his arms, and from the point of contact you vow not to make that mistake again. He was surprisingly gentle and delicate with you, even taking great care to place the cold and strange-feeling cane between your own arms, but you knew from the way he looked at you warmly that this was out of a desire to make you feel comfortable with this process, almost as if he foresaw that you'd be afraid. You wondered if he was like that with everyone in his clutches. Out of pure discomfort, you couldn’t look back at him-

“Don’t look away. Look at me.” There’s no warmness left in his voice. It’s a demand.

You hated how he had basically read your mind. Confused, you felt you had no choice but to obey him. Something was happening, out of the corner of your eye there was movement from his arm and you could feel that cane move in some strange fashion, but his grip on you gradually tightened, and you didn’t dare to disobey him.

After what felt like an eternity, you felt his hold loosen. He breathed a sigh of relief, and then, all of a sudden, before you could react, he went in for a hug. You especially felt the one arm nearly wrap around your next, and his hot breath directly in your ear. “I apologise for all of that. For a moment, I didn’t trust my own judgement. But everything I believed before was right, there is a hope for you here.”

“So I passed?” Your question comes out shakier than you hoped.

“Yes.”

“What would have happened if I had failed?”

He gave you a condescending scoff, and you felt mocked for asking such a question. That was irrelevant to him. “Let’s not dwell on that. You are safe now, and no one will hurt you anymore.”

“Not even you?” You found some of your confidence again to force that question upon him, and you can tell when his smile breaks that it has forced him to think.

Something about all of this does not put your mind at ease. Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve never seen anyone fail the test, or maybe, you remind yourself, it’s because you are knee-deep in the clutches of a cult. Those thoughts are small compared to the main idea running through your head, though.

If I failed, I wouldn’t fit in his standards. I would have to die. He could have killed me. Could he kill me? I’ve never seen him kill anyone. Does he have that in him?

Harrow put a hand on your shoulder again. You now noticed that he seemed to do that a lot. “I will protect you myself. I know now that you’re absolutely worth it.” He had leaned in a little while he spoke, just to add a little more reassurance. You hope desperately that his protection is as valuable as his power. He certainly acted like it was.

You feel a finger brush up against your neck, and the sensation shakes you to your core. In that moment, he feels closer than he ever has before. There’s something so casual in his act, he either didn’t notice this move, or he pretended he didn’t. You already knew it was the latter.

“I hope that we’ve finally cleared up some confusion.” His gaze follows his hand, wandering around your neck until it locks back into your eyes. “Do you understand me?” The question, unlike his last few words, isn’t so kind. Once again, it’s a demand.

No.

“Somewhat.” You lied, knowing that he would not take the truth for an answer.

The way he looks at you suggests that he’s not entirely convinced, but for some unknown reason to you, it doesn’t bother him. “That’s progress. I want…” He pauses for a moment, and you immediately began to fear that a sincere moment was coming. ”something here. I want a deeper kind of relationship. Something that’s more than what we have right now.”

“More than strangers?”

You didn’t intend to be rude, but you didn’t regret your choice of wording. He was, in essence, a stranger that you saw a lot. No matter how much you talked, he was always so distant, as if he wasn’t really on this earth the same way you were. You were never going to be friends, but there was a space to be something else and he’d capitalised on it.

You could tell that he found your response to be harsher than he expected, but he didn’t seem too thrown off by it. You expected that he saw it coming, because he always just knew. The smile he gives almost seems to suggest that he found that funny, but you don’t know what a smile from him means anymore. “More than that, yes.”

In your amusement, you were able to smile yourself for the first time in a while. “I don’t know about that.”

Your own happiness seems to touch him, and continues with his warm words. “I asked you before to take a chance, and you took it. Right now, that’s paying off. All I’m asking you now is to do that again.” In the beats between sentences, you catch his head tilting a little. “You’ve been shutting me out. Please, allow me in.”

You don’t know what to say, feeling more lost for words than you had been before. You watched him, his smile this time not momentary, but waiting patiently. For some reason, you just could not say no. But you couldn’t say yes either, even if the small nod you ended up giving him proved otherwise.

I just can’t help myself, can I?

You don’t see it, but you feel his hand tapping you. “I’m proud of you. You’ve already grown so much.” There’s a great sense of elation on Harrow’s face. This was what he’d wanted, and you’d just given it to him.

You struggled to be proud of yourself. His seal of approval was never something you desired. What you had desired though, was help, and he’d provided that. He had yet to break his promises yet, so why would he start now?

A small part of your mind held on to a lingering thought that you couldn’t shake. You feared that perhaps the closer he gets, the more dangerous he becomes. You wanted someone to understand you, appreciate you, and care about you, but was this the right person?

If I keep things up like this, he won’t hurt me, though. It could all be alright. It’s all or nothing.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

its 2 am, its me, its a new truckdump of songs for just about everybody

Lucio

got a little weekend project planned, gonna kill my parents and deal a worm for unthinkable power and then it all goes downhill from there shwoopsie

Muriel flexing his deal after he got it xdd sidenote do you think asra was immune or did they have a brief period there where muriel totally accepted his only real friend forgot him because he wished for it but at some point asra was chillin in the shop huffing some myhr and went "nice. anyway wow i wonder how my best friend muriel is doing these days"

nah they probly arranged the myhrr thing together ig god how tf do you spell merr fuKIN MYRHMHGR MYRRH also why the hell does morga get to remember him too like what does she care how does this freaking thing work. what cuz she saw him once when he was 3? whats up with that cause i was like hm ok maybe cause she knew him before the deal but then i realised yoU DUMBASS EVERYONE KNEW HIM BEFORE THE DEAL N THEY FORGOT THATS THE POINT so idk whats the metric by which the forgetability is assigned or whatwver those two got some weird thing goin on that i never received an explanation for. it might just be me being a dumbass again tho hkchvndt

this one kinda gave me a asra+ilya vibe specifically their lil colloseum performance i say jolly good show. god that ginger bastard would love ol' chicago.

ok this one is barely anything but going strictly off of the absolute girlboss vibes its putting out its giving me nadia. "is your mother worried. would you like us to assign someone to worry your mother" goes hard

i think i had more but i forgor anyway the actual point of this message is i hope youre doing okay and not regretting putting yourself on a schedule too much dgjyhkvd youre a cool dude n you can do whatever you want forever i hope everything is going exactly your way and if its not then thats absolutely fucking ridiculous but i know youll nail it

@tetsuooooooooooo those are all such good suggestions! I've put them on the playlist and now I'm putting them on the tag ^.^

And may I say that you've just opened a whole new can of worms in my head about Muriel's curse and the myrrh thing?! I mean, let's say there wasn't space or time for Muriel to plan things out with Asra ahead of time, what if Muriel spend several weeks wondering if he wanted Asra to remember him? Finding relief in a place his trauma couldn't reach him for the first time in years, and having to decide between having a completely fresh start without his oldest friend, and keeping this oldest friend around, even if that means keeping the memories of his past life around too -

Or what if he had to figure out the myrrh issue himself, and there was a time when he wanted Asra to remember him but needed to figure out how? Did he do that with Asra's help, showing up at the shop door like "you don't recognize me right now, but I'm your oldest friend and I need your help to figure out how to let select people remember me. Oh and as proof that I'm not lying, here's a list of all your most embarrassing moments since you were seven that I was there for."

Well there goes the next few hours of my day XD

[compacflt]

pre-publishing notes for slider (actually i meant to poast this yesterday i just forgor 💀), just to put them out there

as per usual i peddle an extreme amount of mis- and straight up disinformation about the aerospace & defense industries in this one. as a general rule of thumb if it sounds like i researched it poorly and/or made it up, that’s because i researched it poorly and/or made it up. like every scene i was like ‘that wouldn’t happen :D’ and wrote it anyway

this one-shot renders my third one-shot (about ice & hangman) entirely obsolete, as if the rooster one-shot didn’t already do that. so just ignore the hangman one. (i only wrote that one cause i felt bad about tagging my fics hangster when they’re barely in it.) Also, this one-shot kind of directly contradicts the end scene of “debriefing” in pretty much every way. i don’t really care, because this is a much stronger ending, but just throwing that out there—this one-shot doesn’t really jive with my other writing for plot/character arc reasons & im too lazy/sick and tired of my other writing to go back and retcon any of it

i only research things i am mandated to by school/a job/journalistic code of ethics, or that i think are interesting, or that i know will not depress me. divorce depresses me so i did not research divorce. Also im pretty sure marriage doesn’t work the way i described it “sign the papers & that’s it” but idgaf . shrug. im having fun

something i Didn’t make up, though: the thesis that iraq/afghanistan went so poorly in the long term partly because our armed services & especially that generation of commanding officers were prepared for total warfare with a near-peer (like the ussr) instead of counterinsurgency tactics against mountain-based guerrilla warfare-stratted forces (like Al-q*eda etc). that’s a very real thesis that ive read in multiple mil history books (“the generals,” ricks; “mil history for the modern strategist,” ohanlon) & co-opted because it’s kind of, in a fucked up way, a good metaphor for ice’s whole deal—he’d been expecting a traditional officer’s life with a woman etc (aka traditional warfare against the ussr, the us’ sworn enemy) and instead found happiness in the weirdest of places, another dude (aka guerrilla warfare) and no one taught him the right strategy for dealing with that; so, pigheadedly, like some US commands in the Middle East for a decade, he just dug in his heels & refused to budge/change his "total traditional war/heteronormative"-based strategy even if it obviously wasn’t working.

In a similar vein just so i can beat the allegations that im strategically dumb, the “strategies” against the ussr the boys are playing with in the usna section are intentionally the most dogshit strategies on earth. do not invade russia in a land war. especially not when nukes are on the table. the point is they’re ALL bad at strategy (strat as a metaphor for interpersonal communication).

i get the words “moderate” and “modulate” confused a lot. there’s a couple times in this one when I use moderate and mean modulate. Now it’s too late to edit it. by which i mean i am too lazy. editing anything on ao3 is a Sisyphean task. not worth it.

there's a lot to be said about my ice & maverick's respectability, which is to say, as slider points out, their life together is incredibly normie and boring and regular, except that they're two guys. like there's nothing super subversive going on here. "in the grand scheme of things is this really so bad?" is the question. politically this is a little funky. for metatextual character-arc reasons ice has to agree to an official marriage to prove that by the end he's not afraid to legally legitimize their relationship, but the heteroflexible/straight-passing/socially conservative ice & mav that I have written also probably aren't the kind of guys to acknowledge the struggle & strife & subversiveness of the queer community before them that fought for them to have that right. to quote from an essay by Lauren berlant & Michael Warner ("Sex in public"): "Respectable gays [ice & mav, distancing themselves from other gays] like to think that they owe nothing to the sexual subculture they think of as sleazy. But their success, their way of living, their political rights, and their very identities would never have been possible but for the existence of the public [visibly queer] sexual culture they now despise." just throwing that out there as something that is weighing on my mind having now finished writing this. I think that issue (ice & mav's relationship with/debt to the lgbt community) could be explored with a character like rooster, who might be much more a part of that struggle (especially pre-dadt-repeal)...but idk where or how I would write about it. just something to chew on. I keep finding different ways to politically interpret what I myself have already written which then keeps leading to more fucking one-shots. This slider one for instance was a reinterpretation from the 1980s Cold War politics lens of nuclear doomsday & how that affected a generation of men making shitty/suicidal decisions about their lives. an endless cycle for me. "just one more interpretation...i swear just one more..."

[chapstickman]

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Jarrod

Pronouns and gender? they/he, guy???

Sexuality? Pansecual

Country? USA MERICA FUCK YEAH🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

Top 5 fandoms? hazbin/helluva, fnaf, team four trees two, i forgor the rest

What is your Most forbidden snack? fabuloso also chapstick

Would you pet a bug? scared scared scared of bugs. dont like them. scary scary.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. i love fixing things, no matter what it is. my silly little brain just latches onto it like a puzzle, which it kinda is. i can already fix most electronic devices, or alteast know how to (FUCK apple and their stupid fucking anti repair policy. thats actual fucking bullshit. i dont want to have to pay for a 200 dollar course and license to fix your shitty god damn phones. mac books and ipads are aight. but FUCK apple as a company. all this does is protect their silly little fucking income from their stupid ass fucking phones breaking all the fucking time. all it does is make it so that people who do fix phones for a living fucking cant, and no devices to fix means no food on the fucking table for them or their families. they're toying with peoples livelihoods for a bit of fucking profit.) if i dont know how to fix it (cars, microwaves, tvs, literally anything that could break) i want to learn

What does the color blue taste like? mmm yumby

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? the ocean. it goes on forever. it doesnt stop. i didnt realize that until i saw it in person. it stopped me dead in my tracks.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? ive got this protein bar. in 2020 (my second year of marching band, freshman year) i was eating a box of them on the way to marching band camp. i lost one. this was in july. i found it on the ground still sealed in january of the following year. i still have it. im going to eat it my senior year at the end of the year band dinner. i have not done it yet. im going into my senior year. im going to do it. it will kill me. i will not regret it.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? a pastor for a church i used to attend (unfortunately hes my uncle) blamed crime and evil on transgender people

Hyperfixation song? long list. Starman David Bowie, banana man tally hall, mr white keys cherry poppin daddies, play that funky music wild cherry, cant take my eyes off you frankie valli, sh-boom the ink spots, the devil went down to georgia the charlie daniels band

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? I've been asked several times where "Chapstick Man!" comes from. It comes from TF2. I named a rocket launcher "chapstick gun" with the description "ngl chapstick taste kinda good" and then i thought the joke was funny and it stuck. my name is now Chapstick Man on like everything. i have not been sued yet. Im too cool to be sued.

Dream career as a child? also electronics repair technician (i am answering these out of order)

Dream career as an adult? still kinda a child ig. but i want to be an electronics repair technician, running my own little computer/electronics repair shop. i already know how to do it, i just need a building and to be 18 (i turn 18 in december) and people to come and give me their stuff to fix. i love fixing things.

Thoughts on cilantro? its aight ig

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I havent. but i plan to be. i am going to be silly and they cannot prevent it.

What is your cursed food combination? I did my burgers in ketchup if i want ketchup, i did my biscuits in gravy for biscuits and gravy

Trans rights? are epic!!!!!!

@everyone im lazy

[sabaramonds]

a few days ago i made a post linking my old kazui analysis/speculation and mentioned in the tags my haruka gender cannibal theory. someone reblogging mentioned wanting to see it. i forgor until now. to be honest i dont think i have much to say it feels very self explanatory but maybe im just that unwell. anyway. let us begin. a few months ago i made a post discussing my reading of haruka as a trans girl. then an interview with yamanaka & deco*27 was translated. when “weakness” comes up, deco*27 says: “this is a song about cannibalism.” it made sense. immediately i messaged tshirt “ok. so haruka literally and or figuratively cannibalized her sisters gender.” from the first time i saw “weakness”, it did come across to me as a song of self-conflict/resentment and guilt. haruka repeatedly expresses self hate and plenty of guilt throughout the song and one line that has always stood out to me is “how many more times do i have to do this before i can be human?” but wait, im getting ahead of myself. the visual of him and the girl (sister?) together and the lyrics, “the right future unfairly chose the wrong me” immediately gave me the impression that to be that girl was harukas ideal self and his actions stemmed partially from the desire to become her, especially if his mother had tolerated his femininity prior to getting a “real” daughter (which is also why haruka has clung so tightly to muu; she validates the mannerisms hes taking from her and thus his femininity the way his mother once had) in the old post of mine that i linked up there i discussed the whys of what made “all knowing and all agony” reaffirm my initial read of haruka but i also dont think haruka knows any of this. to be clear haruka does not know you can be transgender. he just knows if he doesnt keep cannibalizing aspects of the important women in his life then he will blow up and die or something. its like kano from kagepro except haruka cant literally wear the appearance of dead women in his life like kano does since hes so socially isolated and hasnt received any education accommodation (for his autism. because hes autistic but this is a separate issue from the gender cannibalism. or perhaps connected, but autism gender is another post for another day) he has no idea that he can just...not be a boy. that people like that exist. who is going to break the news

[xerxestexastoast]

wow gamers long time no see

Lots of info I've posted to my age-old headcanon tag is terribly out of date as I've continued to develop it. Amongst the developments are:

The Master's history and relationship to canon has been hammered out a bit more, but I actually REMOVED some details (namely the "internal world override" and associated corruption of the seraphim and multiversal blast), mostly because I just forgot about it and kept soldiering on with new developments.

I think it's the right choice though, since I don't really need to have a coherent motivation for something so insanely eldritch. I also introduced a time loop to its influence, where its ultimate annihilation at the end of one of my major planned fics plants the seeds of its arrival on the mortal plane in the first place. I don't think I NEED it to be that cosmically sweeping for the seraphim to care about it anyway.

Seraphim don't have mortal protectorates as a rule anymore, nor are there legends like that. The Sanctuary Wardens are just terribly fond of the universe their nest is hooked up to. Humanity is their blorbo. The Wardens also live in the angelic equivalent of bumfuck nowhere so how would they even hear about something like that?

The seraph corruption bit was an off-the-cuff idea to reintroduce more popular fandom interpretations of Zero and Dark Matter to my Kirby headcanon in hypothetical scenarios, but once again, I Forgor. I've been cooking up multiverse headcanons that allow for the same kind of hypotheticals. In the wake of the Magologue I had a lot of thoughts about alternate universes and timelines and that has given me a lot of ammo for Fic Ideas to add on to my existing ones, what fun what fun

I have completely flipped the script on Morpho and instead of "Gala's pet butterfly" I've gone whole hog on their cosmic significance. They're the first seraph and the bridge between the ether and the void. Their nest, Hell's Blossom, sits right at the center of the Cloudrealms.

Likewise, this is evidence of literally all of my Galacta headcanons going in the trash. I've finally accepted that he's been GBJ'd from the main timeline, which has been a hard pill to swallow because I had him survive and recover on Ripple Star the instant I saw him in KSSU.

Nothing about my Gala headcanons was contradicted until Knightmare Returns in Robobot, where I couldn't cram the scenario into the timeline coherently in a way that was satisfying. It meant making the entire final part of the main story an illusion while Kirby was in stasis and trapped in a simulation. Meta had to break him out, and I just couldn't accept Star Dream Soul OS's exact copy of NOVA's design as their genuine design because I REALLY wanted the Clockwork Stars to have some diversity. Soul OS's Access Ark looking so much like Galactic Nova was a banger reference for sure, but it fucked with my vision for my Kirbyverse. Now with the power of AUs I can shunt that entire concept off into an altverse!

But also Galacta coming back in Robobot and subsequently Star Allies meant that my whole "he is unsealed as of Knightmare Ultra and plays an active role in major fanfic plans" was bunk. Took me ages to salvage Major Arc Fic #1 (RtDLDX gave me the necessary extra RtDL brainrot to get back into thinking about it). I still haven't salvaged my Galacta thoughts. Don't even get me started on Aeon Hero and the implication that Galacta is one of the Four Heroes of the Heart. Holy fuck I am still reeling. I thought I would get to keep his ancient supersoldier bioweapon backstory but NOOOO I GUESS I CAN'T.

I've considered making Aeon and Galacta separate people, with Aeon being the real Hero of the Heart and the genetic base for Galacta's creation, and that adds a fun detail where his Halcandran elements (eyes, horns, and natural levitation) can come from ANOTHER of the heroes! But this doesn't fucking explain why Galacta can summon the Heart Spears in Clash if he indeed is the same Galacta. If Galacta is sealed out in Another Dimension where time don't work right, then it doesn't make sense for etheric resonance (topic for another post) to copy Galacta into the AUs. Aeon himself is sealed inside his own Heart Spear as part of the seal on the Jamba Heart.

It's POSSIBLE that etheric resonance could conflate Aeon and Galacta into the same guy and put him in the Clashverse but that means we have TWO GALACTAS sealed in AD and I hope you all understand why I don't exactly want to go there. Once shit starts happening out in AD, it's outside the jurisdiction of any one universe. Etheric resonance involves information being passed from one universe to another VIA the ether (the intercosmic medium that we know in canon as Another Dimension). If you're imprisoned IN the ether, that information doesn't get the chance to travel.

While I'm less weirded out by more regular characters having altselves in the altverses, Galacta's character is DEFINED by his imprisonment. It feels markedly less weird when I cook up ideas for Magolor to meet other Magolors than, say, multiple different Galacta crystals just being out there. And THAT'S because the same Galacta being summoned to so many different timelines for the same purpose is itself compelling! It feels foundational to his Vibe, especially when I focus on what's actually canon. This poor fucker gets yoinked around constantly and has no say in it. I want to give him his freedom like I do with virtually every other Kirby character but I feel like he'd suffer from an eternity of madness only curable by death on the battlefield. How the fuck does a mortal mind withstand that? No wonder Morpho took him in Guest Star

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Tags from my previous post via @000marie198 (I made this a separate post so I can link it to the fic in case someone else would want additional context but it got way too long for me to just slap it at the begining of the fic itself👍)

Alright so, the spark notes version of the stuff one needs to know exept it's not sparknotes at all because I cannot be normal about this guy rn:

Nightmare!Sans is an Undertale AU thing specifically from an AU called Dreamtale created by @/jokublog (go read the Drematale comic go read it RIGHT NOW, it has epik sun and moon brothers angst– I do admit the writing doesnt hold up as much as 13y/o me remebers but its still an epik concept) that 13-14 year old me was absolutely insane over. For the purposes of this fic all you need to know is that he's an evil bastard bitch that psychologically tortures people for fun but rarely actually kills cuz dead people can't suffer anymore and that's no fun for him.

More seriously he's the embodiment of negativity, grows stronger from negative emotions and his mere presence amplifies them. His name is pretty self-explanatory, but Im not sure if he can directly influence what's exactly going on or if it's just his bad vibes that cause people to have nightmares, but this is my au and I get to do whatever I want. He's also a shapeshifter made of toxic sludge that burns if you touch it for too long. Oh, and the only one that even has a chance at fighting or fending him off is his twin brother Dream who is the guardian of positivity (which is as good as poison to Nightmare and the only thing that causes damage to him I forgor to mention!!) is not at all present in Sonic's world at the moment :)

[lorillee]

ok so prefacing this with: obviously this was all like cursory research for an obscenely casual art project so if i got something wrong i apologize . anyways onto the choices

for diego i was like "hmm actually i wonder what blind people did for a living then anyways" so after doing some mild googling found the tōdōza, which existed as a guild for blind men during the edo period. poked through some of the occupations they had and saw shamisen playing and was like "wait that would be fun to draw" and so i did! had i been a wiser woman i probably wouldve dug around for some more accurate outfit depictions of the time but i forgor 💀 anyways for as what he's playing i imagine it would be something in the jiuta style

for kay . i am fully aware that there wasnt really a proper female equivalent to shinobi but we're taking some creative liberties here. it wouldve probably been way clearer who she was if i had dropped the mask but also . its part of the vibe. the vision. and also i just wanted to draw a cool action-ish pose. i threw a yatagarasu pin in there because it would be incredibly on brand of her to wear an extremely identifying pin that entirely defeats half the point of the ninja outfit simply because its the symbol of the yatagarasu. outfit came from here!

for mia & maya i couldddd have chosen to make them itako since thats literally what they're actually based on, but also i really like the miko outfits and also real life itako are also blind, which mia and maya are notably.... not. anyways so yeah they're the classic japanese shrine maidens - pretty self explanatory i think

for bobby . to be honest this is actually where all of this came from because a few months ago i watched this movie called miss hokusai which in short is about one of the few notable female ukiyo-e artists because i was trying to figure out more to emulate the ukiyo-e style because i wanted to try to give a character yakuza style tattoos for reasons and it was a whole thing but anyways in the movie theres a brief scene with a bunch of firefighters and i thought it was pretty cool and like . ok because bobby & simon have been on the brain recently and i was thinking about trying painting again and doodled out this bc i was like "ok to be honest. bobby would make such a good firefighter"

and then i tried painting it, failed, and then tried painting in the musual way i do with ms paint and then. well. the theme continued because i was like "wait. but this is fun". anyways so yeah bobby's a firefighter. outfit from here!

for gumshoe i was like. ok lets try to keep it simple here. so i looked up "edo period police", perused the wikipedia page, figured dōshin was close enough, and then spent some time trying to figure out what they wore. the best i could do was this (first image on page 3) and i kind of just messed around with the colors until i was like "ok this is probably good enough"

for phoenix i did some more cursory research into lawyers in the edo period but from the 2 seconds i did it seemed like it was much more civil disputes based as opposed to like . state v defendant type attorneying so instead i was like "well. he went to art school". so i guess right now he's trying to break into the ukiyo-e industry

i did actually do a simon one but i didnt like it very much so i didnt include it in the original post, but since its not going in the main tag i might as well throw it in here. naturally he's a ronin

been practicing painting in ms paint with the theme of "random handful of ace attorney characters except in edo period japan" with some mild creative liberties. will elaborate on what everybody is and why if asked

[gummiix]

ᯓ★ intro ! (updated semi-regularly. ish)

Interests:

I’ve been fixated on Sonic the Hedgehog for a few years now, so that’s what you’ll (usually) see most on this main blog.

My other interests here include:

Splatoon, Gravity Falls, Spider-Verse, Kirby, My Little Pony (Gen 4), Super Mario, the Legend of Zelda, Animal Crossing, Dungeon Meshi, The Last of Us, Pokémon (mostly just Team Rocket,) and various other random console games.

All of these fandoms can be found in my featured tags. Meanwhile, sideblogs are usually shorter-term hyperfixes.

Side blogs (newest to oldest):

✩ detroit: become human -> @iheartandroids

✩ smiling friends -> @iheartsmilingays

✩ the amazing digital circus -> @iheartdigitalcircuses

✩ nimona (the movie) -> @iheartnimona

✩ rottmnt -> @iheartrise

✩ stim blog gifs, sounds/music, stim boards, web resources, etc -> @stimmii

Stuff to note (BYF section):

~ I curse. Some nsfw jokes might be reblogged as well; you can block these under the “#suggestive” tag.

~ Mass likes/reblogs don’t bother me, don’t worry babes

~ I may randomly spam-like/reblog other blogs though. It’s genuinely never personal, sometimes other people’s blogs are just more interesting than the dashboard lol

~ On my main, I reblog things relating to politics or light discourse, usually just some civil rights stuff. This includes approved Palestine GoFundMe’s. I often don’t tag these categorically.

~ I can talk a LOT in the tags. That said, a lot of times I don’t, but honestly I am Nottt very good at holding myself back whenever the moment strikes. So welcome to my mind if you feel like reading it

~ autism and adhd haver, I might be a lil off-putting. I reblog about struggles sometimes under “#nd things”

~ I use tone indicators for anything that I think might be confusing, but always spelt-out— like “/sarcastic” or “/light hearted”

~ I am very gay. I reblog gay things. Btw

~ My memory is faulty, meaning I may reblog the same thing multiple times without meaning to, or forget to respond to a message/ask. (more on that below . . .)

Moot-to-Moot Communication:

~ l am genderqueer and use they/she/he, in order of preference. (When I say “alternation preferred”, I mean that I would greatly appreciate if you alternate between multiple of these pronouns for me, rather than choose one set forever. thank youu mwa)

~ If we’re mutuals, feel free to strike up a conversation for any random reason!!

~ I might be a lil late to respond, but I promise no matter what I will see your message and be thinking about it. The Dysfunction sure does hit (as well as the anxiety or memory issues. lots of that too)

Drawn demonstration by user cuptoast on twitter:

~ feel free to just message me a lil reminder if I don’t get back to you after a day!! I prolly forgor. Just a little “yo” or whatever you want is great, it helps a lot.

~ However, I usually start conversations with an ask. (It’s a little silly, but it’s easier for me to keep track of and less intimidating that way.) If you’d prefer, you can just respond to it in messages.

~ I’m currently following 4000+ blogs 🥲 This means I never really see moots on the dashboard, which means I don’t really interact except for once in a while, when I might FLOOD your posts with likes + reblogs ,:]

~ In any potentially unclear messages, I would very much appreciate tone indicators (or any other form of clarification 👍) I may just ask for the tone if I’m confused.

~ Just let me know if you want me to tag something for filtering out, like spoilers but also literally anything else.

DNI:

In general, I block freely who I don’t want to interact with. However, here are my stances if it makes anyone more comfortable (or uncomfortable) to know.

- I stand completely with Palestinians for a ceasefire. I’m against genocide, displacement, Hamas, and the Israeli military. I reblog about Palestine news and history frequently, as well as verified Gofundme pages for Palestinian families seeking to evacuate.

- That said, I fully love and support my Jewish friends. This does NOT extend to Zionists, or anyone alright with war crimes in order to demolish an entire state or culture.

- I am against proshipping; meaning I am heavily against the fictional fetishization of children, rape, zoophilia, or incest.

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THE END!!!! Thanks for reading!! pow bam blang hearts attack💥💥💕💘💗