#i finished submitting my essays
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I INTERRUPT MY OWN HIATUS. WITH CONFUSION. BC WHAT THE FUCK. I'LL LET THE PICTURES EXPLAIN TO YOU MY SHOCK RN.
MY JAW IS LITERALLY ON THE FLOOR WHERE AM I WHO AM I WHAT AM I— AND HOW DID I OBTAIN DORM AZUL BEFORE I GOT JAMIL ????? I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM STILL IN SHOCK AND IT HAS BEEN 20 MINUTES SINCE THIS HAPPENED.
#/trau rambles#GACHA PAYNE#i finished submitting my essays#and i was like#yea i'll take a break#and wish on twst for jamil#AND THEN THIS HAPPENS#I AM THROWING UP RAINBOWS#I'M STILL IN SHOCK#listen. LISTEN !!!#as SOON as i saw the octa lavender i was like NO FUCKING WAY. NO FUCKING WAY AZUL ASHENGROTTO IS DOING THIS TO ME.#he said 'don't look at jamil trau look at me instead ✨️'#still sobbing crying rolling around doing the nae nae sadly on the floor#azul ashengrotto
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FINALLY SUBMITTED THE 10 MIN VIDEO PRESENTATION WITH 2 HOURS TO SPARE
#sophie's idle chatter#literally me and two of my friends were up until 4 am and we still hadnt finished it#and then we video called like 20 mins ago when we finished doing the audio + converting the powerpoint into a video and submitted it#together 😭😭#now i just have to try and not leave the 1.5k word essay due next monday until sunday and then no assignments until jan... haha...
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anybody remember the stephanie brown essay I was working on under a research grant fully last summer? yeah it’s not done yet it super needs to be done and I’ve been avoiding working on it for weeks. someone tell me to just do it already
#the problem is. actually there are several problems#1) I’ve been out of the Batman/dc comics phase for almost a year so I don’t care that much about the topic#2) I am fifteen pages in and have not touched it in months so I’ve completely lost my train of thought#3) I can’t just reread it because I hate first five pages or so and I know I need to change it but I was trying to finish before editing#so now my only solution is I need to open up a new doc and completely restructure the whole thing by splicing together the existing writing#so that I can figure out where the hell im going with this and make sure things fit together better#unfortunately that sounds fucking exhausting#but I told my mentor I would have an update for him by the end of the week and. well. it’s the end of the week#I have to present it in April. I have to write and submit an abstract in March#the school gave me $1500 for this stupid essay and if I don’t have anything to show for myself.#well. I don’t know they can’t take the money BACK but it’s not a good look#and also I would feel bad#I did the research!!! i interviewed comic writers even!!! I just haven’t finished WRITING IT DOWN#and I KNOOOOWW once I get started it’ll be fine once I’m going I’m going#but STARTING is hard because I feel like I have to finish it in one go which makes it so huge and daunting#I’m like. slamming my head into a wall. just write a couple sentences Jess something is better than nothing#just start it you don’t have to finish just START just MAKE the new DOC#I know!!!!! that is what my therapist would say!!!! Jess you’re trying to oneshot it bc of your dumb adhd brain!!!!#stop looking at it like that and making it scarier!!!#but even tho I know that logically I’m still like oh I should put away the dishes o should make bread#I should work on my six different art pieces I should do laundry i should play with the puppy I should go for a walk I sh
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my little daily treat of going to that haveyoueatenthis? account and finding out if i have ever eaten stuff. i love answering question
#and the one about bands. im playing a game of seeing if mount eerie ever pops up but not submitting him to tha account myself#kiddo say#finished my fucking essay that was trying to kill me ;w;#eevryone say congrats because i have learning disability i think and almost died from typing .#<- not really but i had no juice left for real
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Hmph. An evil boop is just a regular boop to me... heh. I just have a twisted mind i suppose😎🤘
#the room is spinning i wanted to finish my first chapter but i cant anymore#its fineeee i have a few hours tomorrow to finish ch 1 and hopefully at least start ch 2...#im supposed to submit a full draft but its ok she'll understand........the worst part is still to come on thursday#i dont have time for That#i might try to record and edit a presentation for then tomorrow after the new essay draft deadline#and then wednesday i have a meeting with the supervisor aaaand im aiming to um illustrate a ~10 page story#......also prepare mentally and get my script ready for thursday#if you see me online at any point until thursday night you have to kill me im so serious#i cannot be engaging in tomfoolery
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So Much happening, lots of it good but So Much
#i'm on track to finish a draft of one of my essays tn#so tomorrow morning I need to proofread and submit and then get cracking on my second essay#got a linguistics society event tomorrow and then going to the theatre with my flatmate :D#then thursday is crunch time to finish essay 2 that needs to be submitted on friday#heading to a sleepover with my friend who goes to uni an hour away and on sat we're doing a day trip to a nearby city#then next week is also A Lot but that's too far in the future for now#i also saw a job advertised at my old workplace today which i applied for so really hope i get that#the job hunt has not gone well so far#it would just be embarrassing if i didn't get my old job#also learned some exciting things about my module choices next year and my year abroad in 3rd year :D#and let's not forget that hot enby language summer approaches!!#but yeah if I get a job lined up for summer I can basically stop stressing about a lot of things#but waiting for that to fall into place is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i've put the most effort possible into applying so it's out of my hands now and all i can do is wait#this is just the same as waiting for results day last year lol#ellis exclaims
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Please god, can someone give me the strength to write ANOTHER 900 word essay in German, I DON'T WANNA I DONT WANNA PLEASE NO
#disliking this course more than i thought i would#oh yes german linguistics!!! okay!!! sure i love that!!!#and then my grade is dependent on literally only writing assignments#i actually want to die. this brings me soooooooo much fucking pain#i just really despise the whole idea of it#you put a bunch of people in one class with differing skill level#and then make them all write 900 word essays in a language theyre not 100% on yet#and the content is soooo much just him rambling in class IN GERMAN !#and not all of it is on the slides so fuck if i remember#and even if i did remember its so much me trying to focus on catching what hes saying than actually absorbing it#and the topic even if i was writing in english would make me struggle#and you guys know!! im great at rambling!! BUT NOT AUF DEUTSCH#and then. when you finally finish slaving over this fucking disaster of a paper#you submit it. and his only comment is just: sehr gur gemacht.#yeah why the fuck would i feel the need to burn myself like this +#only to get feedback that feels like he only looked at the word count and nothing else#like not even going to correct my grammer or???? what am i learning other than writing the same kind of bs sentences over and over#i despise word count essays btw#youre not really writing for quality youre writing for quantity#bcs if the only real outline you get is that you hit the word count then why do i give any shit about the quality of it#like i submitted a paper for my other class and she gave like 100+ edits on it#not only comments but also grammer correction#and like????? why do i not get that from the class that is teaching me a foreign fucking language#yeah sure its not bad to correct the grammar of your first language but cmon my god please help me a bit or smth#but yeah its due on Wednesday and i just think im going to fucking die before then#choking on my stress tears or smth#as i said it would be fine if it felt like he was actually checking them in depth#but i hate assignments where im only doing it for the grade. like i actually want to uhhh learn yknow???????#but yes i need someone to cheerlead me on or smth bcs itll take so much resolve to not just give up#and i wont give up bcs i want to keep my gpa but thats exactly thr issue isnt it? that i dont care about the content?
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pros of writing a poem about batman: i got to write a poem about batman :)
cons of writing a poem about batman: i now have to submit my batman poem for a peer review workshop and discuss said batman poem in my final essay for this class. people are going to read my batman poem and either 1.) know it's about batman or b.) not know it's about batman and ask what it's about, upon which i must answer "well you see. it's about batman."
#technically it's about robins (dick specifically but could be about almost any of them)#but like. it's a batman poem. fuck me bro#it's okay i also wrote a horizon poem#2 horizon poems actually!!! but im only submitting one in my workshop i think#woe is me i have like 3 days to finish this essay and i have work 2/3 of those days
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i am going to fucking explode this class with my mind. what the FUCK do you mean NO POINTS for late submissions. killing stabbing biting maiming
#ive had eight hours of sleep total in the past four nights#including one hour last night#then i came home to get started on this fucking essay#and whaddya know i fall asleep like a goddamn idiot and wake up two hours before the deadline with nothing written#aarrghhhhhhhhh#do they know. do they fucking know how this no late submissions crap affects students#if im not gonna get any points for turning it in a minute late im not gonna even fucking bother#like you're basically just telling students not to fucking try because their effort is going to be meaningless anyway#i did send an email to my ta asking if they could still accept it possibly with points off#i submitted it at literally 00:00 so i don't even know if it fits in the deadline either#anyway. time to see if i can muster up enough motivation to actually finish the essay#and risk a second late submission that might be a fucking waste of time in the end#it's always the mediocre entry level classes with power hungry maniacs who do this shit#my fucking 300 level microbiology professor had 5% off for each day late outlined in the syllabus#and then you've got this literal 100 level gen ed course with its no late submissions crap#like. are you for fucking real#anyway i still haven't received a reply from my TA so who fucking knows i might end up getting a zero for this anyway#ugh#vent#college#mine
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more lotf doodles (i’m procrastinating on my other wips rn 🥲)
yes i didn’t feel like drawing the faces on the one in the bottom left don’t attack me
#i promise i can draw full bodies in a non chibi style i’m just lazy#no one asked but i finished that essay i was ranting about#it was the worse essay i’ve ever submitted but at least it’s over#lotf#lord of the flies#lotf fandom#lotf fanart#lotf jack#lotf ralph#my art
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for someone who writes for fun, i sure don't do all the recommended stuff when it comes to writing, like making an outline or finishing a thought before i pull up libreoffice
#when writing essays in 7th/8th grade i'd always just submit my first draft#40 mins is NOT enough for me to write and rewrite a thing on shit i don't care about#if i had to submit a draft then i'd speed-rewrite and change just enough for it to pass as an edited draft#hated that class. so stressful trying to finish in time
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hello besties i just came here to say i finished my last exam and my last essay which means i am officially DONE and all ready to GRADUATE COLLEGE!!!!!
#AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!#I DID IT!!!!!!!!!#it’s all submitted!! complete!! finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#aahhahahah#im freaking out#ive been pretty chill about graduating but idk i just submitted and it was like HUH#im DONE#im just really excited suddenly!!#because i DID IT#my brains a bit fried rn idk if that makes sense but!!#i just had to put it somewhere because!!!#i did it!!#and idk im happy#owe this blog thanks for putting up with all my essay complaints for so long lol#no more of them though!!#(unless i do actually make it to grad school eventually lol)#not anime#life junk
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yayyyy goodnight
#didn't finish but i got close so i'll just take the L and submit it tomorrow morning#this is like the last thing i need to do anyway all my other classes have been done 😭 oh well#today was good. the world looks so much more beautiful when i get sleep and don't have afternoon appointments hanging over my head#tomorrow i finish that essay + clean my room + WRITE! + ask my mom something i've been meaning to ask about for like a month#okay goodnight... 😴😴#.txt
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erm. all classes are cancelled at my faculty for the remainder of the semester. do i move back home
#like. i have 3 essays to submit until the 20th i think. and one oral exam for which no one knows the date lmfao#i think my roommate is staying until mid-january so i might stay as well#as soon as i move back to hungary i need to start looking for a job and a place to stay in budapest 😔🔫#and decide whether or not to try to finish my MA next semester. pain
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excited to find out what playing Omori immediately after In Stars and Time is going to do to my brain
#I realized I'd bought it ages ago and just hadn't played yet#now that I've FINALLY finished submitting my essay. which only needed minor edits and which took all day anyway#time to Make Choices!!!
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I know this is probably not anything profound and maybe people have already said the same thing... But in regards to you talking about your creative writing struggles, just write it. Yeah maybe it sounds stiff and shitty. Doesn't matter. Just write it. Speaking from experience, if you always let that get in the way you'll never actually write and get better.
So just write it, even if it sucks. That's what editing is for.
This is my weird attempt of encouragement but seriously I really hope you can reach a point where the creativity is flowing freely and you enjoy it :)
thanks for this 💖😄 genuinely encouraging
#really im usually a very confident writer. im very comfortable in my world of essays chapters and theses.#but this time it's not argumentative writing and i keep writing it like im trying to persuade my audience#it's coming across as so unnecessarily defensive of the story even before it's fully introduced#from a mechanical standpoint i know it's solid. but it reads as alternately soulless and insecure. distractingly so.#I'm still determined to finish it and i know it won't be a long piece#but it's hard not to feel like im presenting the story like data points in an evidence arc rather than plot points in a narrative arc#and yes yes I'll edit#but it's less about style and more about composition and scale#im so used to 'make your assertion; provide evidence; analyse your case study to demonstrate your assertion'#that even when the sentences are well formed and individual bits sound ok it still feels like...#idk what it feels like. sparknotes? or a powerpoint presentation of the plot like a pitch meeting?#again ill still write it#i like the idea and im determined to get it down#im not about to give up because im not instantly amazing at something i havent even seriously attempted since i was 14#in all likelihood if i get it to a place i like I'll probably submit it somewhere anonymously or under a pseudonym#and wash my hands of it content that i got it out of my head#asks#anon
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