#i find myself thinking in english
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
-
#when i'm reading#i find myself thinking in english#as in idk i read a scene and i have thoughts about it and they come in english instead of spanish??#and yeah that's normal for me when i'm writing like i'm doing now#or when i'm actually speaking out loud in english#i haven't felt the need to think in spanish and then translate to english in ages#but what's weird about this is that i have no need to be thinking in spanish since it's just thoughts#and i'm like... why#it's scary haha#i guess it's because i'm reading in english and my brain doesn't make the switch fast enough but STILL#idk i had to need to write this down somewhere and this place is dead so i was like lets go to tumblr lmao
0 notes
Text
ok so there's this phenomenon i have encountered with some of my mutuals and now im curious
no option for nosy english speakers come back in a week
#the thing is#i find myself assuming that the other person would prefer to speak english#due to past experiences + i dont always know if they're fluent in hebrew/feel comfortable speaking it#and then there's the pronouns issue#anyway. i think i speak english to about 50% of my local mutuals#now give me your answers#🤎
849 notes
·
View notes
Text
And I just have to tell you that I
Love you so much these days,
#homestuck#dirk strider#bgd#brain ghost dirk#jake english#dirkjake#hs2#homestuck^2#homestuck 2#hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck epilogues#candy epilogue#admin draws#fanart#i cant even pretend im normal about my own art or this song im sorry#im tryna think of something to say abour this and i keep thinking about the lyrics and i GRGRHHHHFHFJG#i dunno man. i love plastic beach. i cant say anything here that is not gallbladder-achingly cheesy#but just. i dont know.#jake keeping a little bit of dirk in his heart all those years. even if bgd is 'all' jake hes still in the memory he carries#when i listen i find myself stuck between which singer/verse should be jake and which should be dirk. but the answer is simple#theyre both both.#jake thinks hes the one singing abour getting abandoned. but really hes the one losing himself in the substance#and dirk. dirk is the one watching him lose himself. but since hes just a part of jake. yeah.#'i have to tell you that i love you so much these days' both as something jake is saying to dirk and what jake wishes dirk was there to say#hes so alone in that reality. even if he might not admit and go so far as to imagine dirk saying it. its something that deep down#he aches to hear. the man who has deemed himself unlovable and incapable of love. he still wants to hear it despite himself#he still wants to say it despite nnot being able to bring himself to even process that emotion#sigh. see what happens. i cant talk aboht it bc a single line turns intoTHIS
275 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just some random sketches ...
Her morning stretch 🤸♀️🤸♀️🤸♀️
Violette struggled during her first flight, plus she doesn't like wearing trousers at all...
The hug 👀 (not st official just for poses study haha, and I've just notice I have never drawn them kissing or hugging before 😅)
#also lately I've been trying to write Vi and Seb's story and incorporating some extra plots into the main game storyline#but i honestly find it kinda dificult cuz Im not a good writer at all#I think the hardest part is to estisblish a whole consistent & reasonable plot#so I took Maddy's advice of putting myself in the character view and think about what they will do in certain situations#it does help alots 😀 but it's still difficult haha#plus I dont feel confident in my English#anyway Im not planning to write fic what i'll do is tell Vi's story through my illustrations and comics#and posing and paneling is another stories#ok I'll stop yapping#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy mc#sebastian sallow#violette laurant#hogwarts legacy oc
90 notes
·
View notes
Note
Drabble Prompt: Post-canon Levi, struggling with chronic pain and mourning his dead loved ones, being visited by his still alive loved ones
Anon, you knew how to talk pretty to me <3
hihi requests are still open btw
I feel like I gotta put a disclaimer or something lmao. So, the length of my drabble requests is usually something between 100-400 words. This request is just an incredibly unexpected exception. it just happened to fit into this idea I already had been thinking of, which was how the remaining 104th would ask Levi to be part of important events in their lives because well, they like the dude lmao, so expect that sort of one-shot soon. Additionally, since I kept reminding myself that this was supposed to be a drabble, I might have glossed over the chronic pain and mourning bits so I'm sorry about that ;;
that being said, 2.4k words of Levi and Gabi be upon ye <3
Now on Ao3!
The angry hissing of the kettle makes him flinch. It brings a loud ringing to his right ear. Instinctively, he places his right hand over it, and gives his ear a couple of gentle taps; it's more of a grounding gesture, a distraction from the buzzing. He usually keeps watch over the kettle, so that he can lower the heat just right before it gets a chance to scream at him.
He realises then that he must have spaced out while waiting. It’s alright, he thinks. It’s been like that a lot, recently. He’s been like that. Lost in thought-- lost in time, if he allowed himself to be precise. The last days, weeks even, as the temperatures started to drop, blended into each other. There’s a little calendar on his bedside table, it had been a birthday gift from Armin – or had that been Mikasa’s? He isn’t sure, he had received an absurd number of presents from the kids last year, it had been hard to keep track of who gave him what and now the fact escaped him. Turning the pages of the little calendar, with its delicate botanical illustrations on each day, quickly became part of his morning routine, and so he was sure that time was passing at all. The stillness of the routine, he guesses, made him like this.
His vision blurs momentarily while he scoops the tea leaves into the teapot. He squints, trying to will his good eye to focus, but all he gets in return is a throb in his right eye. After putting the tea canister away, he presses the inner sides of his wrists to both eyes, placing just enough pressure to relieve the discomfort. When he opens his eyes again, he is pleased to find he can read the small print on the canister an arm’s length away.
There’s a loud slam coming from the front of the house, followed by footsteps coming further into the house.
He quickly recognizes the heavy stomping as Gabi’s gait. She’s always been so loud.
Gabi crosses the arch into the small kitchen and dining area.
“Don’t slam my doors,” he says as a greeting, slowly turning his head to his left side, trying to catch a glimpse of her in his periphery.
“Aye, aye,” the kid waves her hand, shoots him a teasing grin, “someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
Levi hums in response but doesn’t say anything else. He busies himself with placing everything they need for their morning tea and coffee on a metal tray on the counter, which Gabi takes from him as soon as it’s ready and sets it on the table.
He grabs his cane from where he had hooked it on one of the kitchen drawers. He has been leaning against the counter, his right leg supporting most of his weight all this time. He braces himself for the sharp pain that will surely surge from his bad knee, through his left hip and up his spine. Cold mornings like this one and being still in one place for long will do that to him. It’s not so bad. It could be worse.
It takes 4 steps to get from the stove to his chair, which Gabi has already pulled out for him. It sits at an angle that allows him to easily slide down on it and rest his right elbow on top of the table, leaning back and against his good side.
“I have something that will cheer you up,” she holds a couple of envelopes in her hand and waves them at him, “You’ve got mail!”
He nods at her in acknowledgement but does not take his attention away from preparing his first batch of tea of the day. There’s a ritual to it, it almost feels like, and he doesn’t want to mess it up. Not when the ringing in his ear is still there, the building pressure in the upper back part of his eyeballs, and the cold air seeping into his bones through his thick jumper. Oh, how he needs a good cup of tea right now.
While Levi waits for it to steep, he grabs the papers that she had shoved in his face, squints his eyes at the first envelope and finds that he is unable to make out much of the handwriting. He brings it closer to his face, squints harder, steals a quick glance across the table and hopes Gabi isn’t paying him any mind, too preoccupied with choosing from the bag of pastries she brought with her. It is with an impassive expression that he hands the stack of envelopes back.
“Read it for me.” A beat and then he adds, a little reluctant: “Please.”
He knows Gabi prefers coffee in the mornings, and black tea in the evenings, so he makes sure to have a fresh brew of the former whenever he knows she’s coming over; so, with shaky hands, Levi gets to prepare her cup of coffee. While he enjoys the aroma of it, he remains faithful to tea; at first, he thought he didn’t like it because he had butchered his first attempts at brewing it. But even after Onyankopon had taught him how to do it properly and he had enjoyed his cup, it didn’t bring the same comfort as tea. It just never hit the spot.
She shoots him a mischievous grin, “Oh, you sure? What if I read something personal, hm?”
Levi just shakes his head, scoffing at the idea of Gabi finding his junk mail fascinating.
“Is this how I find out you have a secret lover you’re exchanging raunchy love letters with?” Gabi teases, wiggling her eyebrows at him.
He lets out a tired sigh and rolls his eyes, “just wanna be done with it, ” he stirs the milk into Gabi’s coffee, which now has turned into a cup of milk with coffee. “We have a lot to prepare for tonight.”
She clicks her tongue at him, but still rips the first envelope open, “Mr. Levi, your reading won’t improve if you keep doing that,” she jokingly scolds him.
Although Levi mentally recognises handing her and Falco stuff he couldn’t be bothered reading before, that’s not the case this time. He’ll let her think that for now, though, because he doesn’t want to mention the pressure building in the back of his bad eye, it’s not important and she, a kid, doesn’t need to know his newly found ailment of the week. He can see just fine around him right now. He can see Gabi’s big eyes and playful smile at the other side of the table, and that’s good enough; smaller details, he doesn’t feel he can do them, not without making himself go dizzy with a migraine.
Levi slides the cup of coffee to her and is pleased with himself when she approves of the colour of her drink.
“It’s from Armin,” she announces as she scans the letter.
From this angle, the soft morning light illuminating her face and thanks to his faulty vision, Gabi’s image stirs his memory. His heart faintly constricts as he is reminded of the many times Hange read their research reports to him during breakfast in the mess hall before presenting them to Erwin. Levi always wondered how they could read so fast, sometimes he even doubted they were actually reading at all, their words barely being able to catch up with her eyes; he never asked about it, maybe reading came easy to them as numbers did to him.
A high-pitched squeal from Gabi startles him, bringing him back to the here and now.
“Oh… ohh, Mr. Levi,” she starts, her smile widening by the second “This is good news!”
Gabi makes a show of clearing her throat and then starts reading “Dear Captain, I hope this letter finds you well and in good health.”
Levi can’t help but let a sardonic huff at the irony of the greetings but doesn’t let himself be bothered by it. He has written only a handful of personal letters throughout his life, and by now he knows it’s just something you’re supposed to say because jumping straight to the point isn’t acceptable, or so that’s what he had been told.
Gabi continues reading Armin’s words to him. For the most part, it’s a standard letter coming from him: he asks Levi how he’s dealing with the changing of the seasons, how Gabi and Falco are faring, if business at the tea shop has been good, if there’s anything Levi needs that he can’t get in town so that Armin or the others can get it for him. He tells him a little about the country he’s writing from, he even includes a photograph. Then, after the expected pleasantries, Gabi can barely hold her excitement and starts reading faster, trying so hard not to trip over her words.
“If I’m being sincere, we would prefer to ask you in person,” Gabi stops for a second to look up at him from the paper, gauging for a reaction and finding nothing, she continues.
Armin apologises for not being able to visit him before the holidays, Annie included, and so it is implied that he won’t be attending tonight’s reunion.
Sometime during the last five years, the Alliance brats had decided to make showing up at Levi’s doorstep together once a year a sort of custom; the first time it happened was during an early winter, a blizzard had stopped them from leaving Levi’s until the next morning. It had been a really nice evening despite the awful weather, Levi remembers, after everyone pitched in one way or another, they all shared a simple but hearty meal together. It was Connie who jokingly said they should do it every year. The following year, Onyankopon, Gabi and Falco joined them.
This year would be their fourth, and the first someone wouldn’t make it. That fact sits heavily in Levi’s chest, stealing the spotlight from his throbbing eye.
“...Annie and I have decided to get married. The both of us would like you to officiate our ceremony!” unable to contain her excitement, she tears her eyes away from the paper and looks at Levi. “Huh?! This is good news! What’s with the constipated face?!”
That doesn’t sound right. It figures that Annie and Armin would be the first to marry; in a way, he is happy for them, they clearly care for each other. No, that part is easy to understand. Their union is logical to anyone who knows the couple. What Levi can’t figure out is why they are asking him such a thing.
He clears his throat, assumes it’s been 3 minutes and his tea is ready to be poured and so he distracts himself with that.
When he doesn’t answer Gabi, she picks up where she left off.
He isn’t… well, he isn’t that close to either of them. He’s sure Annie must have other relatives that could step in his stead. Maybe a brother, a cousin. Even Jean or Reiner would be better options than Levi. He isn’t good with words or people like they are, he couldn’t possibly give them a speech about something foreign to him as it is that kind of love, that’s what people expect, right? His title of Captain is obsolete in this new world, so it can’t be that either. Hell, he has never been to a fucking wedding.
Just… why him?
As expected, Armin doesn’t really go into the details of their choice but does let Levi know they do not expect a fast answer and that they do not want him to feel pressured to accept it, despite how much it would mean to them if he did. Armin asks if there’s anything in particular that he would like for his birthday, as it is a month away, and closes the letter by saying he looks forward to seeing him and everyone then.
When the letter is closed and put back into its envelope, silence falls around them. For a moment the only sound that can be heard is the clinking of tableware as Levi places the teacup back on its saucer.
It bothers him, that he knows he will be letting Armin down by refusing something that any other well-adapted person would consider an honour. But the thought of embarrassing him and himself, because he gave an awkward, most likely insensitive, speech, mortifies him. No, he can’t put them and their guests through that. He will find a way to make it up to the couple, maybe he can… he doesn’t know yet, but he will come up with something.
As he finishes his first cup, Levi realises that at some point while he was lost in thought, the ringing in his ear has subsided and now it’s back to that muffled, cotton-in-ear sensation he’s used to and he doesn’t feel his eyeball pulsating anymore. Glancing at Gabi, he notices she is trying really hard not to say something, her brow furrowed as she takes a sip of her own drink, followed by a big bite of her pastry. Flakes stick to the corner of her mouth and for once it doesn’t disgust him. Instead, it makes his lips twitch as if going into a smile.
“I can help you... if you want,” she says eventually, sounding uncharacteristically careful and small of her.
Levi quirks an eyebrow “Help? with what?”
She shrugs, “How to… tell them you don’t want to,” she avoids looking at him for the first time, finding the flakes on her plate more interesting. She shrugs again and tilts her head to the side, a thin line of a smile appearing on her face. “...or prepare for the ceremony.”
Not unlike many times before, Gabi’s words render him speechless, if only for a moment. He spares his tea a glance and he thinks: it’s bold of her to be so upfront about offering her help to him, and had it been any other morning, one where he couldn’t think past the constant ache in his body, he would’ve chewed her head off for simply trying to help him because he himself doesn’t know how to accept that kindness.
This kid is trying her best and he can’t help but feel somewhat proud of that.
“You have shit on your face. Here,” he points to where the flakes would sit on his own face and picks his refilled teacup back up.
Gabi quickly wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, getting most of the flakes off. Levi gives her a thumbs-up with his free hand.
“I’ll think about it,” he finally concedes and tries to ignore the little happy dance she does in her seat.
This time, when the amber liquid touches his lips, it’s remarkably sweeter than before.
#drabble request#aot#snk#levi#levi ackerman#gabi braun#gabi#post-war levi#armin mentioned lmao#please tell me which tags to add so that all my fellow post war levi enthusiast find this aaaaa#Girl dad levi you'll always be famous#second disclaimer english isn't my first language and I haven't written seriously in well over a year#I am like really nervous about posting this one ngl lads#but we persevere like the captain#no beta just me myself and I and like 2 hours of screaming I hate proof-reading but like I'm too self-conscious to just let it be#spoilers in the next tag >>#third disclaimer: iirc the whole captain officiating marriages isn't real but this is fiction and I do what I want#and I just think it would be cute if levi accepted even if for just a symbolic ceremony and not the real-deal yk?!#how to get rid of your chronic pain by levi; just overwhelm yourself by overthinking social scenarios#anywusssyyy let me know your thoughts#I'll probably post this on ao3 because it do be a decent length for it#we'll see#okay byeeeee#i hope you enjoy it anon and thank you for your patience I'm placing a big smooch on your forehead tysm fo sending such an exquisite prompt#I forgot to put the read more like the fool I am#if you saw the original post no u didn't <3
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know this is a very unoriginal observation (much like any other), but I'm finally reading The Great Gatsby, and even I wouldn't describe men the way Nick does.
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#i did watch the 2013 film for my ap english class though (i think they didn't have enough time left for us to actually read it)#like the way he described tom was very. superfluous in my opinion. something you want to tell the class NICK (joking)#i find myself really partial to the general writing styles of that time though#i haven't even gotten that far in the book either i'm just barely past the part where daisy is introduced#so nick is just waffling about his family history and how he rents for $80/month#which is relatable when you consider inflation. nick i hope you eat you landlord#i can see why people don't like this writing but i am endlessly fascinated by the prose#maybe i should just free myself from the impulse to hide behind layers of self-censorship and live like nick does#tbh tho i still prefer non-fiction and textbooks BUT fiction is valuable and is useful#fiction is like play - it lets you explore different possibilities and thought in a safe environment
105 notes
·
View notes
Text
Heard Sonic Boom is 10 years old today so in its honour here's an edit of the Sonic Boom intro we all deserved
#sonic boom#sonic the hedgehog#alas..... had to get the. i think it's the French version of the intro? couldn't find the full one in English#not that it matters bc there was no dialogue only the text#i don't even remember if it's French actually i made this ages ago#listen i love sonic boom but the intro was just... not as good as the intro for every other sonic cartoon that came before it#truly it and we were robbed#especially when we had a perfectly good sonic boom song for it#(I'm sure there was probably some kind of legal issues reason they couldn’t use it. that doesn't stop me from Longing)#so i said fine i will do it myself#timing is a lil off but I'm too lazy to fix it so this is what we get#has someone already done this? undoubtedly. but i couldn’t find it so i made one myself#two cakes and all that jazz#oh look she speaks
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
The impossible girl
#doctor who#clara oswin oswald#clara oswald#I might have a slight obsession with her#specifically season 7 her#digital art#my art#digital fanart#this was brought to you by my English professor believing that 10 minutes are enough for 100 students to sign next to their name on a sheet#like we’re 8? 9? lessons in and people still don’t get that the list is in alphabetical order by first name#im still not 100% sure about the colours of the blocks (?) in the background#I quite like this#took me forever to find a way they fit together#and if you think this is a lot the procreate page was like double the size#then I controlled myself#wow on the drafts it look like the world when I’m not wearing my glasses#aka extremely blurry#click if you don’t want to think you might be going blind#I love to yap in the tags#nobody cares#but i love it#also love whoever invented the verb yap#bestie how am i so fucking dumb that I did not colour in a bit#and did not notice for….#A WEEK?!#oh thats embarassing
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
worst lab report grade of my LIFEEE i think i might actually just switch degrees rather than look at it
#stem is not for the weak. stem is not for the weak. stem is not for the weak. stem is not for the weak. stem is not for the weak. stem is no#i HAVEEE to throw myself off a bridge. this is so so so bad i'm genuinely crashing out#perhaps i am not built for biochem. in fact#but fr why did they do this to me IN EXAM SEASON???????#why release the marks NOWWW it's so mean !!!#i have an exam in 3 days i don't got time to be doing all this (having a public breakdown over one bad grade)#if my parents had let me do english creative writing like i've literally always wanted i would be doing so well. emails would never find me#no passive aggressive lab demonstrator would ever give me mean feedback. i'd never have to think abt proteins again#2nd year
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
not going to lie, I think sooner or later some of you will have to come to terms with the fact that ALWAYS needing to completely relate and/or only seeing YOURSELF in the characters you read about/play as/watch in movies, can not only severely impact your critical thinking as a whole but also have very real consequences irl when you are suddenly introduced to struggles or issues you didn’t and maybe won’t ever face. suddenly your empathy is stunted 'cause you never really tried to put yourself in some else’s shoes, not even fictionally
#ari.txt#text#this is of course a generalization but still something i've found myself thinking about often#the growing obsession with the little things in fiction#restricting your reading to only 1st person pov#making ocs that only look like you again and again#choosing to engage with characters in an ensamble based on who looks like you the most#refusing to extend any type of curiosity towards people who are written differently who may be difficult to relate to in the beginning#all of these things on their own are NOT bad per se#but i'm starting to see a pattern emerging as of late and it got me thinking#especially considering we are living in a time where people are shamelessy using arguments that sounds like#what does it have to do with me / they wouldn't approve of me or my sexuality / they worship a different god / have a different skin color#to justify a literal gen*cide#i was hesitant to even post cause as per usual i hate to express more complex thoughts in english which i find severely lacking#but maybe someone else will find it even slightly relevant
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
look at my child my prince my beloved he's baaack
#still waiting to see who's voicing him in english 👀👀#also y'all know why i'm including the ch 16 cover in this post#also if anyone knows /how/ i gaslit myself into thinking his mother was canonically from england lmk#i can find the part of the manga where ciel mentions that neither he no agni speaks with an [indian] accent#but i thought there was some other mention of his mother being born in england or smth somewhere#that being said i don't make a habit of rereading the indian butler arc so i could be forgetting something#shut up lilly#let's chat#soma asman kadar#kuroshitsuji#black butler#black butler season 4
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
"my education is my highest priority" everything returns to vocaloid
#delete later#shitpost#vocaloid#?? idk i might keep it up. yes ik turning off rbs is a thing now technically but i always keep forgetting and also naaaah.#i might go edit proper tags in later just bc i dont this to show up in main pages but i needdddddd the organization on here#i made this a while back procrastinating on a linguistics reading and then never posted it#AND THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE BC IM POSTING IT NOW WHILE PROCRASTINATING ON ANOTHER LINGUISTICS READING LMAOO#dudeee i gotta lock in. oh my god. its so bad up in here triple assault. i cant focus on SHIT. WHY DO I ALWAYS GET IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY AHGHH#this might be revealing a bit too much info but pls this is legit what happened LMAOO 😭🥴#we're starting ipa alphabet stuff now and im like 'hey i already know you...' from phoneme fuckery ive had to do for voca shitposts#knowing linguistics is cool cause u get to dissect what makes languages work and i thought that'd be genuinely helpful for things#like i plan to do more english/spanish translation work specifically so yuh. but also I KNOW internally in my heart...#despite trying to give the professional justifications I KNOW my stupid ass is secretly just absorbing all this knowledge for voca purposes#my brand of shitposting goes against the very origin of the word since 'shitposting' originally refers to very low effort low quality memes#so there's been a semantic shift in definition even outside of mine but i still think its really funny. i put a lot of genuine hard work#into making stupid little jokes to amuse primarily myself and maybe anyone else who finds it on the internet. so yea#no but genuinely though its unironically incredible how much shit i've learned direct or indirectly for vocaloid shitposting purposes
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
there is a beautiful thing that happens when i go to the village/catalunya and its that i find myself thinking more in catalan <3 pece and love on planet earth <3
#its beautiful that i reject my vehicular language (spanish) like this#whatas NOT beautiful is that ive been thinking in english for over 10 yrs now. aka my third fucking language#all bc i spend too much time on tumblr#the thing is that the things i think in catalan are things that if i were home i would not think abt them in spanish#so my brain is immediately replacing english w catalan. its just weird and i cant get myself to explain why lmao#rephrasing: i cant find an explanation as to why#z xarre
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#I just think it's ironic how I spent so much time thinking about leaving this country. but the moment I said: hey maybe I could make it work#if I find a good job and income maybe I could make it work. because I don't /want/ to leave#because this is my home and I know I won't be able to find myself anywhere. the MOMENT I decided to stay here and fight for my own future#and MAYBE be able to get my own place and just be at peace... THE MOMENT I decided that#things went to hell. and now ALL I think about 24/7 is where am I going to go? what should I do to leave? how much will it cost?#where do I begin?#and I'm lost and I feel like I'm trapped and running out of time because I don't know what's going to happen#and for the first time in a while I'm feeling /desperate/#it's like I'm grieving this country even before leaving it. but also grieving my life here#and the worst thing is that I don't even think I will (leave). I just want to. but I can't (hence the 'trapped' feeling)#I really wish I could go to sleep tonight and wake up in a safe place where I could be happy#my own little place is all I want. I don't even ask for endless fortune or beauty or love or anything#just a way and a place to be#random#personal#my shitty English#ohhhh... to be free to cry. what a dream. instead I have to take deep breaths and keep moving#where to? no idea. but moving it is
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Its so crazy when you play a game in dub(or watch smth ig) and you listen to the other ones(in this case, the intended language) and its like HUHHHH!?!?! My boy does NOT sound like that !!!
#fuck me tho bcs in my attempts to find a clip of him speaking in eng#i looked clips up on yt instead of changing my settings cause duh#and just fucking spoiled myself for a thousand things in the process 😭😭😭😭#me at me: forget forget forget forget FORGET FORGET#anyways i do not understand his eng voice it sounds nothing like how i perceive him like ?????????#french dub ON top#im like gaaahhhh ong hes so hot bark bark. oh wait i wonder how he was actually intended to sound#cause honestly his voice is a big part of his attractiveness to me#but his eng voice is SOOOO bleh to me. but id need to hear more and im not willing to spoil myself#but god. tho kinda ironic cause i think his model and voice are the same dude. sry sir but im not a fan LOL#*btw i mean arno why am i always so vague 😭#the vibe is sooooo different its actually insane to me#i was like im sure his eng voice is great! nah. tho maybe its cause hes stuck in my brain as the french voice#also may i say one of my biggest pet peeves? its fine or whatever to have smth take place in a country with a foreign language but-#-still have the language be english. that's just a realistic expectation for anglo made projects yknow#BUT GOD. WHEN THEY DONT EVEN FUCKING AT LEAST TRY TO HAVE AN ACCENT MIRRORING WHERE THEY ARE#WHY ARE YOU A FRENCHMAN IN FRANCE SPEAKING ENG WITH A TOTALLY BRITISH ENG#WHY ARE YOU AN AUSTRIA IN AUSTRIA SPEAKING ENG WITH A BLATANT AMERICAN ACCENT#etc etc. theres sometimes where i dont absolutely hate it. but it bugs the shit out of me#especially bcs id rather watch smth in the language where it takes place bcs its more immersive. so like. at least try w the accent#catie.rambling.txt
6 notes
·
View notes