#i figured since ill be posting these in servers i might as well post them

[detective-ws]

good morning and good night sebastian picmix gifs!

i really like using these kinds of gifs and i really wanted one for sebastian, so i made my own!

[aquaquadrant]

updated false backstory for the HTP au (despite the fact that false will not feature in the main storyline except for possible post-canon drabbles but i physically can’t help myself so here we are)

old canon: the false we know from hermitcraft (h!false) is the twin of the false we know from empires (e!false). in this universe, twins are completely identical in terms of their physical appearance and player data, and they are each half hels and half overworlder (more details about their creation here). so rather than make them more balanced players, it’s more like they have two different natures constantly fighting against each other.

new canon: everything above still applies, but here’s some more detail. the twins spawned into existence on a public multiplayer mini-game hub, which is less common than the usual route of spawning on a private home world. the admins of the hub had never heard of twins before but baby players that spawn on public servers are the responsibility of the admins until they reach maturity. their usernames are identical so the admins arbitrarily named them false (h!false) and symmetry (e!false), or sym for short. the twins were sort of communally raised by very busy admins who were a little out of their depth with the whole child-rearing thing. and since the twins are part hels, and hels babies are borderline feral, you can imagine how well that went.

the twins were notorious for causing chaos around the hub. they took an early interest in the mini-games, particularly the violent PVP ones, and kept sneaking in despite being too young. after lots of close calls, the twins finally made it into a bed wars game unnoticed and absolutely decimated the competition. that made the admins reconsider their stance. they figured since they couldn’t stop the twins from competing, they might as well benefit from it. twins are rare, especially ones as skilled as these, so allowing them to compete would attract a lot of attention and bring tons of business to the hub. thus began the twins’ careers as mini-game champions.

the twins were very close when they were young. they worked together in team-based competitions and took turns doing the solo games, supporting each other as spectators. but as they continued to grow and become more skilled and remain undefeated, people started to get bored. so the admins decided that they would have the twins compete against each other, to spice things up.

the admins didn’t force them, but the twins were only about 10-12 years old at this time. they didn’t really have the authority or autonomy to refuse, and the admins were sort of parental figures to them, people they wanted to please. so the twins agreed.

it was a hunger game style UHC, and the twins were the last two players standing. they were proud of themselves and each other. but there could only be one winner, so they fought. sym was the winner of that fight, and false didn’t harbor any ill feelings- until they respawned in the lobby, and sym got a hero’s welcome while false was shunned. that’s how the admins managed them from that point on; whoever came out on top each week would be praised and showered with affection, while the loser would be disregarded and pushed to do better.

as the years passed, false and sym started to develop a bitter rivalry. it didn’t help that they were struggling with their hels instincts as they hit the teenage years. tempers were short, and they got into a lot of fights even outside the mini-games. it all came to a head one day when sym snapped, and killed an admin.

on mini-game hubs, killing outside of a game is strictly forbidden, and especially when it’s an admin. for this, sym was banned from the server- but since she and false had identical player data, false got inadvertently banned, too. they got kicked to an empty private world, cast off from the only home they’d ever known, all their hard work and suffering amounting to nothing. so needless to say, false was pissed at sym for ‘ruining’ their lives. they had their most vicious fight ever, and right as false was about to deal the killing blow, a portal to hermitcraft appeared.

what happened after that remains to be seen, because i definitely need to rewatch false’s hermitcraft and empires vids to put it all together

[collapsingbenjamin]

☆⠀.⠀"Put me to sleep, evil angel; Open your wings, evil angel."

(I lost my train of thought near the end of this, but if I remember anything, I'll definitely add more to this. Sorry about it being so long, I love to ramble and go on-and-on about who I am, what I could be, and other things. I was anxious to post this, originally. I am not able to provide image-IDs. Plain text would also clutter everything up, but if you need it, please request it. Apologies.)

(I also don't have a tagging system yet. Again, if I get one or make one, I'll update here. This whole page is a work in progress, but the tags would most likely be related to songs from the Breaking Benjamin band's songs, obviously.)

Benjamin B. IV/VI, He/They (possibly Hy/Hym, I like how it sounds. I'm still figuring out some things about this identity. Not sure about They/Them, but I'd like to try it out some more.) Fluid identity in some aspects, but usually is primarily masculine, secondary neutral.

I enjoy the Trans-ID community but I feel like I can go a bit too far on some things (especially when I'm identifying as a real-life person, which could be seen as insensitive due to their experiences, whether it be current or past,) but if it feels right to me, and makes me feel more connected to them (when they're a big influence or comfort for me,) then I guess it's alright to some degree. (This isn't to make fun of anybody.)

TW for below: Talks of self-harm, and mental illness. (I'm very used to things having a lot of censorship and trigger warnings, such as servers and other places where I was required to add trigger warnings. So, for safety, I'll be doing that. It's a habit I have. Apologies in advance.)

I am genuinely mentally ill, in need of therapy, but unable to access it due to some things in life I don't want to share (in general, it's access/insurance problems with a mix of family and personal problems, but I'd rather not go too deep into it.) I experience delusions, moderate-to-severe paranoia, depression, anxiety (especially social,) memory problems, and a lot of other things. (I can go out-of-character and turn very manic, which makes me embarrassed about myself.)

I have identity problems, including suspecting other disorders and such, I have a lot of separate identities and well over six accounts, over ten emails, and other things related to that. I severely struggle with my self-image in general, but I also like delusions. (It's a love-hate relationship, sometimes being delusional helps me escape.)

It's hard to find things on-theme for this certain identity, but I have a few labels that I've found that might be able to suit me. Here are my Trans-ID, Tris-ID, and Cis-ID labels and how I feel about them.

Trans-IDs: Addict/Addiction, Alcoholic/Alcoholism, and Trans-SH (more as Trans-Severity, since I have a history with self-harm but I'm currently not practicing it, it's more mental in a sense.)

Tris-IDs: Weak/Weakness (I already experience this in general or occasionally in many different ways, that's the Cis-ID part, but the Trans-ID part would be weakness in the joints due to a mystery illness, reference to my source.) Perma-Nauseated (I'm aware this is a Perma-ID label, but I do frequently feel nauseous, and the Trans-ID part would be more severe or constant.)

Cis-IDs: Hypersexual (warning about this, I can have flare-ups, mood-swings, or phases of this and I feel highly ashamed about it since it can get triggered easily when I'm more manic,) BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder,) SZA (Schizoaffective Disorder, characterized by Schizophrenia and a mood disorder, it's Bipolar Disorder in my case,) anger/irritability issues, Hypochondria (I'm confused about this one, some sources say you need a diagnosis for this, but at the same time that doesn't seem correct to me.)

Suspected Things: BIID (Body Integrity Identity Disorder,) ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder, suspected by family members as well,) OSDD/severe identity issues (putting this here to be safe,) StPD (Schizotypal Personality Disorder, I genuinely cannot remember if my psychiatrist diagnosed me with this, a family member who was with me said he put it on the file but I don't know if he directly said I had it, and I'd rather have a diagnosis I can remember.)

I hope everybody reading this, including antis (despite the fact they aren't allowed to interact with me, and should stay in their own space, this also excludes the mean antis,) to have a nice day/night, or whatever time it currently is for you. I hope I can make new friends (or at least try.)

(Clarification: Civil antis are allowed to interact, but generally, I am most likely scared of you and will not interact with you. I'm too tired, exhausted, and brain-fogged for discourse. And what I mean by "excluding mean antis," I meant as in I hope they have a terrible, as in non-threatening, day. It's never okay to send death threats and stuff just because someone identifies as a certain thing.)

About contact and other stances: I'm still figuring it out, it's fluctuating but I'm oriented toward anti-contact for harmful/illegal paraphiles (not sure how to word it,) and generally pro-consent in all aspects of the matter. (I'm also still learning terminology.)

"Fly over me, evil angel; Why can't I breathe, evil angel?"⠀.⠀☆

[lunas-a-little-looney]

I'm still new to discovering I have a system (just got over that denial bridge a few weeks ago, and have been struggling mentally since (and before) then), and the system discourse online has been very... distressing? I want to lean into safe communities meant for learning about or exploring (my own) CDD, and find some sort of comraderie.

I don't understand what's happening really - I don't exactly understand endogenic systems, but I also don't understand why people would be anti-endogenic. It just seems... hateful. And purposeless.

I've seen tons of anti-endo posts (before I learned what endo meant) that made me terrified to lean too heavily into traumagen spaces (if they could say this about awful stuff about one group of people, what could they say about me? *it is very much a learned response from trauma, but it is what it is I guess*

I guess the point is to ask if you were ever anti-endo, and what has it been like since you started making pro-endo posts? I know it's silly, but I'm trying to figure all of this out and I'm terrified of receiving hate for refusing to hate someone because of how they identify

Thanks (and sorry for the book lol)

- Host

First I want to say it's not silly at all!! Being a newly discovered system is overwhelming and it's normal to want to have a community of those who understand you. It's also normal to want to avoid being harassed and fakeclaimed. I'm happy you reached out! This reply is going to be kinda long (sorry I tried to keep it short) but I did my best to address all your questions. I hope this helps! And I wish you the best on your new journey of self discovery!!

Second I would strongly recommend that you stay away from syscourse if you can. It's really draining and overwhelming even for us and we have a pretty good handle on our system. As a newly discovered system it's going to be even worse.

Unfortunately I don't have any specific recommendations for cdd focused spaces which accept endos (if anybody knows one put it in the replies!) but I will say that pro endo servers, even if they aren't focused on cdds can still be amazing for finding comradery. There will be other cdd systems there and you might find some endos who you relate to as well. Also if you want my dms are open! I'm just one person (well, not exactly) but I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have and suggest ways to help you figure out your system more!

As for why people are anti endo I think it mainly comes down to two things. First is that they think endos are saying they experience the same thing as cdd systems except without the trauma. Endos do not generally claim this*. Second is that people who've spent significant amounts of their lives under attack sometimes they start to see threats where there aren't any.

These systems have debilitating mental illnesses that are criminally misunderstood and romanticized. For them being a system is intrinsically linked with being deeply traumatized, they are not separate. So when they see a community of people claim to have systems but not trauma, they get upset. They feel like that's not possible, because it isn't possible to be a system like *theirs* without trauma. They get frustrated because they think people just want the "quirky" parts of their disorder without the painful ones. That's why they always say endos are faking did, because they can't imagine a system that doesn't have a cdd. They think endos are just people who want to feel special so they claim to have system. Once endos started becoming a part of the community, anti endos felt invaded because now there's a bunch of systems who don't have cdds in the space they thought was for them (keep in mind cdd focused spaces still exist, its just that the plural community as a whole isn't 100% focused on us anymore).

Once they feel invaded, they feel like they need to defend their community and they do that by harassing and fakeclaiming endos. Then they act like psychology is on their side (it isn't) and after that it's just increasing amounts of digging their heels in.

I think it mostly comes down to the misconception that endos claim to have did without the disorder part, and then in trying to defend themselves they turn off critical thinking and just do whatever they can to get rid of the perceived threat.

*There is a world of difference between the experiences of most endos and most cdd systems but it's not black and white. At this point the term "endo" just means anybody who is not completely traumagenic which includes mixed origin systems. Also, some endogenic systems develop cdds after being exposed to trauma, the only difference is that they were plural beforehand so they're still endogenic. There's others too. The main point is that the plural experience is incredibly personal and doesn't fit well into boxes, categorization is useful and it's important that people understand that in general there are real and big differences between endogenic plurality and cdds but there's no hard lines here.

[seethingvortex]

hiiii i figured now's a good time to make a pinned post

im ryker, but once upon a time like 10 years ago i was @/toki-draws aka moderface

i follow from @waynekiller and my main art blog is @thundahouse , i only post OCs over there, MTL is the only fandom i am active in

my pinned got kind of long oh well it's going under the cut

im now 23 y/o and back again, army of the doomstar hype got to me

im also trans (he/him), bi, white/tsalagi o7 so my blog is def gonna be full of indigenous nathan headcanons i live and breath that shit. i do have Mento Illnesses but I'm not gonna list them, you'll have to use context clues

despite loving MTL & dethklok & brendon small's work in general i am sometimes pretty critical of the show so . especially with it's treatment (and lack thereof) of black/brown & female characters. i do still love the show but it does sometimes annoy me. the way i engage with most media is through analysis and critique, if that makes you uncomfortable then you don't have to hang out, it's ok

general DNI - bigots of course, as well as any pro ship people, these are instant blocks. im really just here to have fun, i'm not here to make waves or anything. of course since there are a lot of crossovers in different adult swim fandoms, DNI if you like south park

i dont really think i have a specific DNI in regards to the MTL fandom. <- scratch that lol, now i have to make a big directory

----

MTL DNI / SHIPPING / HC

if you hate Abigail DNI. i can understand hating how she's written, i also hate how she's written and the fact that she was basically only a learning tool for nathan/only used to cause drama between him and pickles. i will always declare this as a misogynistic writing trope (because it is) and her character got done really dirty (because she did) and ill drum up a big fuss about it every chance i get lol. i can also understand disliking her character, it's whatever, she's not for everyone, especially considering how bland she ended up. but if you hate her and constantly trash her like it's her fault she got written badly, i won't engage with you. Brendon truly fucked me up giving fandom misogynists and fujoshis a black woman for fodder

same thing goes for Magnus, if you absolutely hate him and trash him DNI

----

if you sexualize Toki's age regression DNI. if you ship Toki with Rockzo DNI. i'm dubious on MagTok, but it doesn't appear to be that popular these days anyway

i headcanon Nathan as being Miccosukee & pickles as being trans. these are really the only constant & recurring headcanons i have, otherwise im open to a bunch of stuff

the only constant romantic ship i have is Nickles, they are truly It for me. as far as the rest of the band goes, i prefer a family dynamic for them. you won't really find any romantic Skwistok, Skwisface, Murdertooth, or any other ships with Nathan or Pickles here. that being said, if you ship all of them or mix n match them up that's okay 👍👍👍👍

nathan fictive (fiction kin? other hearted? i don't know the difference, he's the only character ive ever "kinned")👍 i originally wasn't going to say anything but everyone seems to be pretty open here so (cartoon slide whistle noise). you can also just call me Nate or Nathan, that's okay 👍

i am a-ok with doubles & i don't have any current canonmates 👍

if there are any MTL discord servers out there i might be interested, they don't necessarily have to be fictive or kin related i just cant stop talking about this show & i need a place to inflict my thoughts on people. i am however extremely wishy washy when it comes to meeting new people and i might flake out so. tell me or don't tell me, let the tide decide

[nitroish]

I already commented on ur post asking for asks so just in case u didn’t see.

How do u figure out ur art style?

How did you drak fabric so well?

How do you draw body types so good?

Can you show me how to do the shiny effect you use for armor or golden stuff?

How do you draw such intricate people?

what is one of your first Zelda memories?

what are some Zelda core memories?

when did you come across the linked universe fandom?

I am also working on a au, it’s on my page and you shouldn’t have to scroll far, but long story short it’s called

linked universe: broken chain

and I was wondering if you had any ideas for additions to the new chain of links?

also there’s more details I’m thinking about posting later for the au, but if you have any design ideas for characters then I would love to hear/see them

also:what is your favorite OUTFIT(not person) to draw?

what one do you think is the prettiest or coolest? what one do you think looks funky/off? Is there anything you would change? What feels weird about them?

sorry if that’s too many questions, but you needed a distraction so I provided, I know ur probably not feeling good right now so I just want to make sure your at least happy, I know what it feels like to need to keep your mind from wandering. But also:

I hope to the golden three you’ve been feeding, watering, cleaning, medicating, sleeping, and generally taking care of yourself because i might pop though my iPad, through the internet, through whatever your using to read this, and into your room to strangle you and take care of you my self because you deserve it! You make so many people happy with your art and interactions and it sucks to know your in a less than great mood to say the least. So take this as you will, but more importantly take care of yourself and get some sleep, because I know you are probably reading this at fuck o clock at night. *makes pointed, intense metaphorical eye contact* I mean it, try and take care of thine bitch self. *smacks you with affection*

ill toss my reply under a read more since its a long ask eheh

ive already answered the questions in response to the reply you sent to the post and i greatly appreciate all the questions youve offered !!

what is one of your first Zelda memories? playing skyward sword !! i really REALLY enjoyed the wing ceremony - the introduction to flight using motion controls was one of my favourite things. i could spend hours flying around and using the wii-mote to pick a direction or flap the wings. it was gorgeous in my eyes as well. skyloft was a safe spot that i did not really leave, i was less interested in the rest of the game aside from faron. twilight princess as well !! i quite enjoyed running around on epona or in the wolf form. i did not get much done in either game, but i was mostly there for the sights, anyway.

what are some Zelda core memories? zeldacore memories ... my grandparents have an orchard that we would go pick from. sometimes if the apples werent good they would take us to a public orchard to pick apples there. when i was a kid i would grab a sword [ foam, of course ] and go out with my sister and we would hack down weeds and also pretend to battle one another to protect fake kingdoms that we would make up on the spot upon being questioned about it JFGHDFG we enjoyed running around and hiding in the orchard from one another. the same grandparents had some woods back behind their house, we'd go take walks through there sometimes and skuttle around thru the weeds and such.

when did you come across the linked universe fandom? mmm thats a good question. im pretty sure it was the start of 2019-ish? maybe 2020? im not very good with dates, but i knew of lu before i joined the server [ im no longer in that server tho ] !! i didnt really get into the fandom or whatever side of things until later, seeing as i was obsessing over loz at the time and ended up finding lu as an extension of that hyperfixation :)

what is your favorite OUTFIT(not person) to draw? i would have to say im biased towards my legend design's outfit !! i like adding details and embroidery to it. if we went with JUST canon lu outfits i would say im biased towards hyrule or twilight's :)

what one do you think is the prettiest or coolest? same answer as above !! my own for legend, but hyrule and twilight are pretty neat lookin. for Pretty i would have to say four - his tunic is rather ornate, especially when it comes to the embroidery in each square.

what one do you think looks funky/off? is there anything you would change? what feels weird about them? honestly i think wind's could do with some updates and upgrades, but im not entirely the best at designing characters either. his model has definitely gotten better over time though !! i think its the shirt and pants. i havent played his game(s?) so i couldnt entirely give answers on what i would change.

and i GREATLY appreciate the questions and your concern. youve no reason to apologize - im quite honoured tht u took the time to even type any of this out to send to me !! i am doing my best with what ive got currently, but rest assured im caring for myself just fine !! i definitely was readin that at fuck-o-clock at night ( and am answering this at the same time, if not worse !! its 5am just about now )

ill be heading off to bed here soon, but i have been thinkin on how to respond to this HDFGGDG no need for the smacks of affection, tho appreciated!! ill be cozied up and asleep soon enough :)

as for your au; ill check it out when i wake !! im sure its fascinating, feel free to toss an ask again on some information / the ideas behind it in here :)

have a good night / day !! here is to hopefully better times in the future

[bcdaily]

jily childhood friends running into each other years later?

Ta-dah! Thank you for the prompt! Now I have to write shorter things, or I’ll never get another done. XD

She knew that hair.

It was a glimpse—a fleeting hint of familiar dark chaotic strands protruding above the multitude of milling heads inside the crowded hotel lobby. Lily stopped where she stood, certain—certain…but that was foolish, surely? It was hair. Billions of people had hair. Even distinctive hair like that. And what would he be doing here, what were the chances…She darted left, slipping through other conference attendees, following the bobbing head of black. Her fingers toyed absently with the lanyard around her neck. Her feet kept moving. She was closing in. But—shit—he was turning into the next doorway. She’d lose him—

“Potter!” she shouted.

The bobbing black head stopped in the doorway threshold. He turned.

Something pulled inside Lily’s chest.

God, it was.

His mouth—an older mouth; familiar features spread across a matured frame, sharper and wider—formed her name. A question. His head tilted.

She squirmed around the last huddled group of conference-goers blocking her path. A middle-aged skeletal bloke shot her an annoyed look as she prodded past him. A server carrying a tray of canapés swerved around her. She wished the tray had been alcohol. She might need it. She wasn’t sure.

James Potter had grown up to be tall. Cresting six feet, easily. His limbs were long, his chest wide, but his hair—that hair—hadn’t changed a bit. Neither had his smile: bright, crooked, with the same infectious delight he’d managed so easily at eleven, now captured just the same in a man of twenty-four.

Twenty-four. They were twenty-four now. She hadn’t seen him in thirteen years.

“Lily Evans,” he said, audibly this time, and the smile grew brighter. “Shit.”

“Shit,” Lily repeated, laughing. Now that there was nowhere to go, no further crowds to weave through, no mop of dark hair to stalk, she was not quite sure what to do. She hadn’t thought past the part of just confirming it was him. Somehow, magically, him. Strange, strange, strange. Now they were standing before each other and—

And he was good-looking.

Had been, back then, at eleven. But that was eleven, and those things didn’t often last. Features shifted. Bodies changed. Conventions came and went at whim. Who could keep up?

James Potter could, apparently.

Not that that was the point. She hadn’t chased him down because he was fit. She could only see his head, for Christ’s sake. She hadn’t known. Not about the height, about the posh specs and the twinkling hazel eyes, about the tanned, sculpted forearms revealed beneath the rolled-up sleeves of his button-down. It wasn’t—

He eyed her, eyeing him. “Do we…hug…or…?”

She snorted. “I don’t know.”

“Reckon I ruined it by asking.�� He stuck his hands in his pockets. “Not as natural now.”

“Yes, quite ruined.”

“Ah, well. Will do better next time. Meet again in another…what’s it been? A decade or so?”

“Thirteen years, by my count.”

“Thirteen? Bloody hell, I can’t wait another thirteen years. I’ll be dead. Let’s just—”

And then somehow he was hugging her, and Lily was laughing again, and her fingers were digging into his back as she clutched him to her.

He had a nice back, James Potter did.

A nice smell, too.

The first boy she’d ever kissed remembered to shower. Lovely.

In the past ten seconds, she’d grown greedy and impetuous. As he pulled away, she darted up on her toes and dropped a hasty kiss to his cheek. Stolen, like a criminal. She was in a hotel lobby filled with barristers, and not a single one could convict her, so stealthy was she.

His fingers trailed down her arm as their bodies detangled. Her skin burned along the path.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, stepping back. She really, really needed to step back. “I mean, it’s good to see you—strange to see you, really, but—you’re a barrister?”

It didn’t fit the James Potter in her head. The boy who’d grown up alongside her, had lived in the sprawling, noble house at the top of the hill, running wild with the lot of them in Cokesworth, until he wasn’t. That boy had certainly had the cleverness and confidence to pull off law, but not the patience or deference to its structures and politics. He would’ve collapsed under the piles of paperwork. He would have crowed agony at the rules, the formalities, the bureaucracy. Had that swotty boarding school his parents’ packed him off to changed him so very much?

James pulled a face. “Fuck me, no. I’m running the catering for the conference. My mum—”

“—owned a restaurant,” Lily recalled, somehow delighted not to have pegged him wrong. She closed her eyes wistfully. “God, that’s right. When you moved, we were all bereft. I think I still smell that eggplant appetizer of hers in my dreams.”

“The caponata?” His grin turned sneaky. “She still has it on the menu.”

“Where?”

“Casa. SoHo.”

Lily had heard of it. To think, James Potter, her childhood friend and mild fixation, just a few tube stops away, for who knew how long. “So you’re in London?”

“Since university,” he confirmed. Then his head tilted, and the sneaky smile turned coy. “So you’re a barrister? In London?”

“Yes.” She waved her conference lanyard like a white flag, surrender. “Wildly disappointed?”

“No. It fits.” Humour weaved through his voice—deeper and cooler now, all grown up. “No one could ever win an argument with you. And I tried. It was fun.”

He’d been a menace. He’d taken such delight from getting a rise out of her. But even as children, talking with him had been addicting. There were so few who could match wits with her, even fewer who didn’t take it personally, who dusted themselves off after a rousing debate and stuck out their hand, a shake of respect for the good time. James Potter had been like that. It’s why she’d cornered him behind a tree in the park where they all used to play, just before his parents had packed up house and he’d left for boarding school. With his back against the tree bark, she’d pressed her lips against his and waited to see what he did with it.

He’d cupped her chin with both of his hands and pressed his lips harder against hers.

It was closed-mouths, mere seconds. A first for both of them.

But to this day, Lily’s knees still went weak when someone held her face.

Silly. Stupid. She talked about work to make the memory go away.

“A bit less fun now. It’s mostly forms and deadlines and”—she waved her hand around the room—“swotty, deadly dull networking conferences. I’m just out of school. I hardly do anything yet.”

“But you’re good at it,” James stated, definitive.

She didn’t bother to hide her preen. Was wary by how much pleasure she took out of his automatic confidence in her. “Yes. I’m very good at it.”

They stared at each other, grinning.

He had a girlfriend. Lily was certain of it. There was no way this man did not have a significant other. Or maybe there was a very good reason, because she knew absolutely nothing about him. She hadn’t seen him in thirteen years. Entire lives were lived in thirteen years. Who knew what kind of person he was now? He could cut a dashing figure, hold a conversation, but maybe he also cut up bodies in his flat for fun. Maybe he bit his toenails. Maybe he liked The Big Bang Theory. Maybe he drank milk straight from the carton and then put it back in the fridge.

“You didn’t grow up ugly, James Potter,” she said.

“I looked you up on Instagram a few times,” he replied immediately. “You never post pictures of yourself. But I like your cat.”

“His name is Bosley.”

“I know.”

Lily squinted at him. “What else do you know?”

Hazel eyes gleamed. “Interesting question.”

James Potter’s hands were much larger now. If he worked with his mum in her restaurant, they were probably rough—calloused from use, nicked with cuts and crevasses from an absent knife or oil burned too hot. Eleven-year-old James’s hands had been cool and soft. This James’s hands wouldn’t be.

Lily quelled a shiver.

“You—”

“James?” A server appeared out of the doorway behind him, looking frazzled. “They left behind a case of champagne. I don’t know how. The quiche is running low, and Darnell is feeling ill. What—”

“Send Darnell home. I’ll—” He let out a dissatisfied hum, glancing at Lily, then back at the server. His lips pulled into a frown. He swept a hand through his hair. “Sorry—”

Lily waved him off, though her spirits sank. “No, don’t be silly. Work calls. Feed the hungry. Go.”

He hesitated, his eyes skimming her. “Will you—we’re just catering the event tonight. Swotty and deadly dull, yeah? So you’ll probably skive as soon as you can.”

“No.” She didn’t have any reason to say it so firmly, so quickly. That was just the way it came out. “Work calls for me too. I’ll be here.”

“Yeah?” The frown righted slowly.

She couldn’t believe how ridiculous she was being. Maybe how ridiculous they were both being. She could be a serial killer, for all he knew. Did he not care for the health and safety of his own pretty little head?

Her plan had been to duck out of this conference opening mixer as soon as was physically possible. They were unbearable. That shouldn’t change.

“Yeah,” she said instead.

She was eleven years old, heart fluttering behind a tree. She was an idiot.

“Good.” His body turned, but he was still looking at her. He nodded and repeated, “Good.”

Lily lifted her hand. “Thanks for the hug. See you in thirteen years?”

He smiled. “Something like that.”

She watched his back as he turned through the doorway, stared at the familiar mop of hair until it disappeared around the next corner.

She pivoted on her heels slowly, feeling silly and prickly.

In her pocket, her phone vibrated. She pulled it out and absently glanced at the screen.

She laughed.

James Potter had requested to follow her on Instagram. And he sent her a message.

You didn’t grow up ugly either, Lily Evans, it read.

She was twenty-four years old, heart fluttering in the middle of a hotel.

She shook her head, and pressed ACCEPT.

[mamahersh]

The Road to Hell (is Paved with Good Intentions)

“Season 8 was well underway, and the server’s first conflict is bubbling just under the surface. But BDoubleO can’t worry about that right now because he has an Etho to find so they can work on the Horse Course together. However when Xisuma calls a surprise server meeting on behalf of EvilXisuma, BDubs gets his answers about where Etho’s been in the worst way possible.”

(CW: angst, blood, gore) <--- later chapters, this one’s clean.

Welcome to my first attempt at Ethoslab angst! I wanted an nHo-centric fic with a heavy dose of Etho angst. I have nowhere else to post this, and fair warning I am terrible at characterizations, so everyone will probably be a bit OOC to some extent; but for sure EvilX will be very OOC in how evil he is in this one. The Rating for the later chapters is a solid M, so be warned about that. If y’all have suggestions or feedback, feel free to come and say hi! P.S. I got my inspiration for this fic from this fic over here! Give them some love too.

Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7

Chapter 1 (below the cut)

BDoubleO was worried. 

Now, it wasn’t often he worried, particularly about Etho. Especially after the shenanigans from Season 5 with the nHo, and their many years of collaboration after that, he was well aware that Etho had a habit of disappearing for weeks on end. Even when he was supposed to be helping with a bit of collaboration work like the Horse Course, he was infamous for suddenly disappearing for a week, and coming back acting like nothing had happened. But even still, Etho usually left a note, or told someone about where he was going so they at least knew when to approximately expect him to show back up. This time though, Etho hadn’t even left Iskall a note, and so far this season he had made sure to at least leave a note for Iskall since they were sharing a base. (BDoubleO had asked Iskall 3 days after the last time he had seen Etho to ask if he knew where Etho was. Iskall didn’t know, though he had seen him 2 days previously puttering around their shared base as normal.) He had asked around the other Hermits, seeing if anyone had heard anything. The only one that had seen anything was Beef, who had said he had seen Etho lurking on the edges of his territory heading toward the top of BDubs’ mountain with a spyglass about a day and a half ago. Doc had mentioned that while he hadn’t seen Etho recently, he had heard that Etho had been busy in talks with Xisuma and Evil Xisuma over something. However, when BDubs questioned Xisuma, he said he hadn’t seen Etho since the last major server meeting. (It was always disconcerting when Hermits’ stories didn’t match up, as that usually meant there were shenanigans afoot. But BDubs couldn’t figure out why there would be shenanigans afoot, because this was just Etho.)

A whinny from Lulu beneath him startled BDubs out of his worries. Looking around he realized that they were already staring up at Xisuma’s lighthouse and general base area. Why were they there you might ask? (A theoretical from a theoretical, truly meta of him, aha) WELL, Xisuma had sent out a message to the server that everyone should come and gather at his base for an important something. BDubs was confused, and very concerned, that Xisuma was insisting on the meeting being in person. After all, any news could be dispensed through the Server messages, and all their bases were known, so boards could be placed at bases for Hermits to see as they came in and out. Meeting in person was never technically necessary, though it made it generally easier to talk with each other since they didn’t have to type everything out. The point stood however, that unless it was an emergency, Xisuma never called a general Hermit assembly outside of their regularly scheduled monthly meetings. 

Looking around, BDubs was able to see that Beef was already there, along with most of the Boatem Crew, and surprisingly enough, the Horsehead Farms guys were there as well. Of course, Doc was on his way, and last he heard, the Big Eye crew was following up behind him since they both had been busy when the announcement had gone out. The rest of the server would be on their way because of how far out they were. (Part of BDubs wondered if those who were coming in later were the lucky ones. The rest of him wondered why he was so filled with anxiety and so certain this meeting was only going to be terrible.) Deciding nothing good would come of dwelling on the negatives, he made his way over to where Beef (who was looking more unrecognizable by the day as the alien contamination overtook him) was standing alone, seemingly keeping his eye out for someone or something.

“Hey Beef!” BDubs called out, smiling and waving as he approached. Beef looked over at the sudden shouting of his name, and instantly relaxed as he saw BDubs approaching. “Hey BDubs!” he called back, something alien layered under his normal voice. (It spoke of void and distant stars, though Tango had recently been saying it reminded him more of sulfur and brimstone). “You know anything about why Xisuma’s called this meetup?” asked Beef before BDubs could ask the question himself.

“Not a clue,” BDubs replied, allowing his concern to show through as he stood ill-at-ease beside his friend. “He just announced he had something he wanted to show or talk to us about I guess, though I can’t imagine what it could be about.” Well, BDubs had a guess or two, but none of them were generally pleasant topics of conversation, outside of some surprise announcement for the next server update to 1.18.

“Darn, I was hoping you would have heard something…” said Beef, his own unease easy to read. BDubs shrugged, looking around at the other groups of players standing outside the Lighthouse. It looked like even in the short time they had been greeting each other, the other Big Eyed Crew had arrived on his tailwind. An awkward pause settled between the two of them, both having been so tied up in their own shenanigans to really know what the other had been up to. BDubs debated bringing up the obvious, but it seemed like one of those things you don’t necessarily bring up. But then again… 

“Yo Beef,” said BDubs, turning to look at Beef again. Beef startled out of his momentary reverie. “You’ve been looking pretty, uh… green recently. How’s that been treating you?”

For a moment Beef looked almost confused, before he seemed to connect the dots and snorted. “Oh yeah, it’s been treating me great, as you can see.” They both chuckled a bit at his sarcasm before he continued. “But in all seriousness, I hadn’t really been noticing it. I mean, I definitely notice that people have been giving me a wider berth this season, which hasn’t been great for business since I have a great idea for selling specialty cat food I can make on my alien ship. I haven’t personally noticed too many changes outside my appearance thus far however.” After a moment Beef said, “So how about you? How have Keralis and Tango been treating you this season?”

BDubs chuckled. “Would you believe it if I told you it’s been going great? I have a mountain already, and we have a small bay town we’re building up to serve as a shopping district for our Big Eye Crew. Plus, we got Tango to actually make his eyes big, so it’s a win all around! Though I’ve been noticing more Derpcoin sneaking into our shops…” 

“Hey now, what’s wrong with Derpcoin?!” exclaimed Beef, looking vaguely offended. BDubs was startled by this, completely not expecting such an outburst from Beef of all people.

“I mean, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with it, it’s just I have no idea what the conversion rate is on the stuff, so I don’t know what people are paying in my shop for the items they’re buying,” replied BDubs. “Plus, there’s nowhere to use it.”

“But there is a place to use it! You could use it at EX’s Evil Emporium. Plus, with more people signing up for Derpcoin, it seems like a lucrative market to sell in,” countered Beef, a strange gleam in his eyes. “EX was nice enough to give me an in into his Derpcoin shopping district, so I’ll have a storefront through the Evil Emporium.” 

"Evil Emporium huh?" BDubs made a considering noise. "Heard a little bit about it back when EX was doing a little sales pitch in our neck of the woods. Seems pretty fishy to me, but if you think it's a trustworthy establishment, I'll definitely give it a second look."

"Attention everyone!" called out Xisuma, suddenly standing in the center of the gathered Hermits. "Your attention please!" BDubs looked over to where X was waving everyone over. He noticed that X seemed abnormally forward, though that could be attributed to his paranoia. Afterall, X wasn’t one to cause problems! Sure he had been trying to get people on board with this Evil Emporium thing pretty hard, but X couldn’t hurt a fly even on a good day, so BDubs wondered if this wasn’t about Derpcoin.

He had been hearing from the other Big-Eyed crew that tensions between Boatem and the Derpcoin empire had been slowly escalating over the last week or so. Plus he had been hearing about more of the unaffiliated Hermits beginning to create close ties with EX’s brand, embracing Derpcoin as their main currency even! On the other hand, he’d been hearing from some of the Boatem people about how they were getting sick and tired of finding Derpcoin in their shops, and seemingly some people were beginning to refuse to pay for items with diamonds… There was a mess brewing for sure in the background this season, it just seemed like an issue that could wait till the next monthly meeting is all.

With a jolt, BDubs was brought back to the present as Doc bumped him in the shoulder. “How are you doing BDubs? Looking pretty lost in thought there, big guy.” 

“Well, doing pretty good if you must ask!” BDubs puffed up with the compliment on his height, despite knowing it was more than likely meant in a sarcastic manner. Between Doc and Etho, BDubs never really could catch a break. “You just get here then?”

Doc let out a rumbly hum in agreement. “Yesss, though I have no idea why Xisuma called the meeting. Know anything?”

BDubs and Beef both shook their heads. “We’re in the dark as much as you are, it seems,” replied Beef, moving towards the other Hermits to try and get their little group to walk and talk.

“I have a theory though!” continued BDubs, leaning in to act somewhat more conspiratorially. Doc leaned in a bit more than he needed to, getting a friendly bump on the head from Beef. “See, I’m sure you’ve both heard a bit more than I have about Boatem vs the Evil Emporium. I think things might be heating up enough between the two that X might be forced to intervene soon.” BDubs rubbed the back of his neck. “Admittedly, it still seems like the kind of thing that he would bring up in the monthly meeting instead of an impromptu meeting like this.”

“Looks like we don’t have to wait long to find out in any case.” Beef gestured at the surrounding Hermits and Xisuma himself still standing at the center looking official as usual. (Though BDubs thought he looked a little dazed, but he shoved the thought aside.)

“Thank you everyone for taking time out for this meeting!” called out Xisuma, his face still disconcertingly empty. “I’ve called you together today because EX had a stream he wanted us all to watch, and I agree it is most imperative we all watch it together.”

BDubs did not like the sound of this one bit. “What’s the stream about?” called Joe from the opposite side of the crowd.

“Yeah, why’s it so important we all have to watch it?” asked Cleo from beside him. BDubs realized that those two had had to travel across the entire continent to come to the meeting, and Joe was still renouncing wings, so taking long trips was a distinct hassle. At the very least, it was far more time consuming than everyone else’s trips had been, minus potentially XB and Hypno’s trip.

Xisuma seemed to stand there taking it silently, which was not necessarily outside of the usual, but his response certainly was. “With that out of the way, I’ll get the screen set up, and then we can watch EX’s stream!” ‘That was strange,’ thought BDubs as he looked around the circle of bewildered Hermits. Normally X would try to answer questions, or at least let them know things precisely before he did them. It was incredibly out of character that he would just ignore Joe and Cleo like that… Particularly Joe and Cleo if BDubs was to be brutally honest. Those three had been closer than three peas in a pod since Season 2, and Joe and X had known each other pretty well since almost the start of Season 1. To have those two brushed off by Xisuma struck a wrong chord.

BDubs was pulled back to the present as Xisuma rapidly typed into his communicator, and a holographic screen projected just beyond the circle of Hermits behind where Cub was standing. Almost as one, the Hermits turned to look at it, curiosity overpowering any potential feelings of lingering confusion and discomfort.

Xisuma’s expression was blank as the large screen buzzed to life in front of them. However, BDubs’ watched as he seemed to come back to himself just as the static on the screen cleared and the assembled hermits gasped in disbelief and horror.

‘Well,’ thought BDubs to himself, dread rising like a wave about to swallow him whole. ‘Now we know where Etho went.’ For there on the screen, looking the worst BDubs had ever seen him, was a restrained Etho beside a seemingly gleeful EvilXisuma.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Eye of the Storm 8

Warnings: nonconsensual sex (series), unwanted touches, prolonged eye contact which makes me wanna believe in the Church and all it’s saint to ask for absolution.

This is dark!Thor and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are a new servant at the palace of Asgard but the job isn’t so easy as you thought.

Note: Yay another chapter of the Asgardian bitch boys causing trouble for our reader (much like @lokislastlove​ is causing trouble in my dms)

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Your days with Loki passed swifter than those with his brother. Your work was mostly uninterrupted as Loki left early and returned in the late afternoon with some tasks to attend to as he ate dinner. His orders were few as you brought his meals without prompting and he was content to his privacy upon bathing and retiring. 

In the time you spent as the Prince's chambermaid, you began to think it far preferable. Even if you were a pawn in his game, his treatment almost atoned for his purpose.

It had been less than a week since you had last seen the king and since Loki insisted that the king marry, it was his responsibility to see it through. Every single detail. It was Thor’s way of punishing his brother’s impudence. As the queen had arrived days early, the wedding was pushed forward. No longer scheduled for the day after her planned arrival, it was to be the day of. 

On the day of the nuptials, you brought up Loki's breakfast and he was already awake. He ate at his desk as he flipped through a ledger, an emerald robe around his slender figure. You stood by the door, ready to clear his plate when he was done.

He turned to you as he wiped his hands and stopped you from stepping forward as he turned a palm out to you.

"You know what day it is?" He asked.

"The day of the wedding, your highness," You answered.

"It is," He smiled as he stood and crossed to the large wardrobe against the wall. He pulled open the right door and reached inside. "All the palace staff will be hard at work, in fact I did have to pull a few hands from the streets to fill in the holes in the roster." He turned back, a length of forest green silk hung from his grasp. "My footman Bradin will continue to see to my brother and so I shall require you to act as my cup bearer."

"Cup bearer?" You echoed. "But--"

"Firstly, you must put more effort into holding that tongue," He warned. "Secondly, it is a formal occasion, not some feast, so you shall stand by, diligently, and keep my cup full. I have faith I should be wanting for wine quite often."

"Yes, your highness," You dipped your chin in deference.

"And so you shall wear my colours," He neared with the dress, "I shall provide you a belt as well and you might forgo that stained monstrosity," He pointed to your apron. "Your duty is simple, I've seen you faced with far greater. You will serve me and you will keep silent. Understood?"

"Yes, your highness," You answered.

Loki had a way of speaking which was gentle yet patronizing. He expected what he said to be heard and his desires to be appeased. He was far more subtle than his brother but in a way, it suggested he was far more dangerous.

He held out the garment and you took it from him. You folded it over your arm as he adjusted the belt of his robe and gripped his lower back as he stretched. He turned away, seemingly done with the conversation.

“You may clear the dishes and go change,” He commanded as he strode to the door of his bath chamber. “I expect you ready within the hour. Do await me in the receiving chamber. You might sit on the balcony and enjoy the sunlight in my absence.”

“Your highness,” You accepted and he disappeared through the door.

Those times when you left upon your own had become so foreign and were just another facet of serving Loki which felt strange. You couldn’t gripe however, even if that gnawing in the back of your mind never quite let up. It was like limbo. You didn’t expect to be in the prince’s employ forever and the inevitability that the king would put his foot down made you ever uneasy. It was only a matter of time and the minutes, hours, and days did seem to move quickly.

🌩️

When Loki found you on the balcony staring down at the ground far below, he frightened you. You turned to him and bowed your head. He was dressed in a black jacket trimmed in a similar gold to that around your waist. His dark attire made him look even taller and his green eyes seemed to glow as they carried their usual imperious glimmer. They took you in and he arched a brow.

“Presentable,” He remarked. You didn’t expect anything more as he flicked two fingers in a signal for you to follow him as he swept back through the archway. “The ceremony shall begin shortly. You will go to the feast hall and aid the other servants in the last of the arrangements as I ensure that the bride and groom make it to their vows.”

You nodded, thankful not to to be forced to sit through the long and tedious wedding rites. You’d heard that nobles tended to take hours to read them aloud whereas peasants could be married in a matter of minutes.

He spun back to you and brought his hands up just before your shoulders. You stopped short as he framed you with his fingers and squinted. He snickered as his facade finally cracked.

“You do know my brother is going to be mad at the sight of you,” He slithered. “Oh, I can’t help myself though. He has been rather unbearable in your absence. More than usual.”

You pursed your lips and lowered your lashes. A servant would never dare speak ill of any noble, even if humoured by another.

“Don’t you fret, he will have a wife to keep him in line and she is not the type to abide his nonsense,” Loki assured and turned once more as he led you across the room. He opened the door himself and ushered you through to the corridor. “Oh my,” He shut the door behind him and hovered his hand just beside your arm as he looked at you once more, “I did a terrible job at guessing. It is rather… snug.”

“It fits,” you assured him as you touched the silk across your stomach. “Thank you, your highness.”

“So long as you can pour wine, I suppose it does not matter,” He said. “Well, my dear, you best be off and I must hurry if I am to meet the cleric. Ugh, I do despise weddings.”

He waited until you moved to part. You listened to his footsteps mirror your own as they faded down another corridor. Soon enough you could no longer hear them and as you reached the stairs, you paused. You weren’t stupid enough to trust Loki but you truly couldn’t guess what he was up to.

🌩️

The feast hall was a flurry of activity. Instead of the long benches formerly facing the trestles, each guest was to be seated in their own cumbersome yet elaborate chair, with only a few of the further tables lined with cushioned stools. The golden cutlery, freshly polished was laid out carefully, and silk streamers were braided and twisted along both tables and columns.

Melora was among the hive of workers. She looked you up and down as you helped cover the last table with an ivory table cloth trimmed in silver and red. The king’s chair would be hung with his sigil and the new queen’s would wear her own.

“We’re all very curious about what has become of you. We only ever sight you when you’re sleeping or waiting on the cooks,” She said. “I see the king does treat you well.”

“It is the prince’s generosity,” You assured her. “I’ve since been reassigned.”

“Pity,” She gave a sarcastic frown. “I’ve recently been placed in a new posting as well. I get to sweep the upper floors now, I might just see you upon your own duties.”

“Perhaps,” You smiled, shrugging off the tinge of envy in her tone.

You carried on and found yourself in a sweat as Agnes called for the servants to assemble in the corridor. The high collar of the dress was damp, though even your bare arms felt smothered from your excess. As before, servants were selected to be servers and you were sent to stand at the table just to the left of the marriage dais. 

Loki would sit there with several of the high lords, a generous vantage of the bride and groom. You were suddenly nervous as the other women lined up with their ewers and a silence seeped into the airy hall. It was as if every single servant was holding their breath in anticipation.

When at last there was a sign that the feast was about to commence, you stood rigid and stared at the door along the other end of the hall. Your head snapped back however as another opened opposite it, hidden just behind the couple’s dais. 

You watched as a woman entered, her skin a rich brown and her eyes as dark as onyx. She wore a bejeweled scarf along her hairline, a swath of braids overflowing beautifully down her back. She walked with shoulders back and head high, the king emerged just behind her. Neither appeared happy.

You looked away at once, your eyes on the chair before you, where the prince would sit. The woman, the queen you assumed, Calla, whispered something as a chair scraped, followed by another. You felt the heat of another’s gaze and ignored it. Don’t look, don’t look. You knew it was Thor watching you, even with his new wife right beside him.

The king cleared his throat. “Bradin,” He called to the footman who shut the door they’d come through, “You may permit my guests to enter and have the kitchens commence with serving.”

Bradin voiced his acquiescence and descended from the dias to march across the hall. He had the doors opened and announced the commencement of the wedding feast, though all you could hear was the crowd without buzzing with impatience. You tilted your head and looked down to the double doors as the nobles began to pour in, you kept your attention on them to keep from acknowledging the king.

Loki appeared at the end of the table though you hadn’t seen him amid the influx. He traipsed along the empty chairs and dropped into his with a flourish. He let out a sigh and reached for his goblet, all courtesy for other guests was gone. He held up his cup, an emerald shone from his middle finger.

“Dear maid,” He called over his shoulder. “I daresay such tedium did make me thirsty.”

You stepped forward and poured. Loki turned his cup as you finished and glanced over at you. He leaned back in his chair as he craned to see you.

“I do like that colour,” He mused. “You might keep that dress.”

“Thank you, your highness,” You lowered your chin and set down the ewer before stepping back.

Loki sat straight and watched the other nobles as they searched around for their seats, directed by the servants in livery appointed to the task of sorting the bodies. It was some time before all had stilled and yet they continued to chatter. The ruckus continued until a horn blew from the front of the hall and all looked to find their king standing beside Bradin who held a twisted golden horn.

Thor squared his shoulders and peered staunchly around the room, his subjects in communal awe and shame. He barely looked a man on his wedding day. 

“I will make it brief as we’ve all been so impatient for this feast,” Thor began. “So I will do no more than welcome my wife and queen, Calla, to her new kingdom and home. May the fates make our marriage a long and prosperous one.”

He raised his glass to Calla and drank. Fandral stood to your right and cheered, encouraging the rest of the nobles to break out in an uproar, clinking their cups and hollering. Thor sat and his wife attempted a smile at him. You wondered how he’d so quickly built such a wall between them as the woman hid her irritation with a sip of her own wine.

Servants appeared with trays full of food and the frivolity began. Guests were all too happy to indulge in both drink and roasted elk. Loki picked at his plate as he seemed disinterested in much of the affair. He sent the occasional glance to his brother, you suspected to make sure he had not riled his wife, and then returned to poking at his supper.

He placed his fork down and beckoned you forth with a finger. He grabbed his cup and held it for you to fill. You took the pitcher and poured carefully. You felt a brush along your thigh and then fingertips pressed to your hip. You looked down as Loki gripped your hip and purred a thank you.

The pitcher hit the lip of the cup and you spill some onto the prince’s dark trouser. You righted the jug and set it down as you reached for the cloth napkin untouched on the table.

“I’m so sorry, your highness,” You sputtered. “I didn’t--”

You began to daub at his tunic hem where crimson droplets had speckled and your hand thoughtlessly slipped lower as you tried to mop up the rest in his lap. He grabbed your hand and held it against his crotch, just for a moment, then slowly nudged it away.

“Now, now, your thoroughness does exceed propriety,” He was smirking as you recoiled and his green eyes flitted over to the royal dais. “What shall people think?”

Your gaze followed his and you found Thor watching you. His expression told you he had witnessed the entire disastrous encounter. You wrung the napkin in your hands and apologized once more before you stepped back against the wall. Loki took another napkin and chuckled as he wiped himself dry.

You bit your lip as you stared at the legs of the prince’s chair. You wanted to dissolve into air. Wanted to be nothing. You fought not to show your distress. 

“Oh, my brother is a simple man,” Loki spoke over his shoulder, “Even a wife cannot distract him so long.”

You looked up again. Loki nodded to the royal table and once more you dared to peek. The king had one arm around the back of his wife’s chair and the other fought hers in her lap. He groped her thigh as he pressed his lips to her cheek. His assault was out of place as he barely seemed to notice her at the same time as his eyes clinged to yours. As your gaze met his, he grinned and hugged Calla until she slapped his arm.

“Oh, this might have been a disastrous mistake,” Loki sneered. “But it is no longer my mistake.”

You shook your head and glared at Loki. You weren’t surprised that this marriage was much more than political ploy for him but you were repulsed by how easily he used those around him. You were a servant, you were meant to be used but Thor? His own brother? For all your distaste of the lecherous king, you couldn’t help but pity his familial binds.

“More wine,” Loki called as he raised his cup again. “And this time, do try not to make such a mess.”

You came forward and filled his cup again. Your eyes went back to the dais without thinking. Thor still watched you and his grin only grew as he caught your gaze. The hand not thrust between his wife’s legs went to the back of her head and he turned her forcefully. He pushed his lips to hers, the entire time he never looked away from you. 

You weighed the pitcher and lowered your head.

“Your highness, I should fetch some more wine,” You raised the ewer as you spoke.

“Oh, please do,” Loki bid. “Before our king decides to consummate his marriage before the entire court.”

🌩️

The rest of the feast went on much the same. Loki kept finding reasons to call for more wine and his fingertips found new places to dance as his eyes taunted his brother. Thor was trouble enough as he harassed his own wife who was less than impressed by her new husband. You wondered if it were too late for her to absolve the union.

Thor and Calla’s departure marked the end of the day and at last the guests could retire, many drunk and stumbling. You were starting to think they cared more for the nine courses and casks of wine than their own king.

You followed Loki through the corridors, weaving past the inebriated and the loitering. He seemed little affected by his indulgences or the evening as a whole. Yet the more you stared at his shoulders, you found yourself wholly irritated by him and the royal will. 

You were tired of it all; you didn’t want to be another plaything for these spoiled brats, you’d only come to sweep and change linens. You were entirely ill-fit to do both.

Loki swept into his chambers and you closed the door behind him. He went to the chaise and sat heavily, leaning on his hands as he looked at you and smirked.

“What a night. More amusing than I could have expected.” He said.

You didn’t say anything. You stared back at him and he lifted a brow.

“What is it? You do seem to be holding something back, dear maid?”

“No, your highness,” You lied as you folded your hands together. “I am merely awaiting my next task.”

“I prefer boldness to impertinence,” Loki’s smirk fell, “So I suggest you speak whatever has turned you so sour.”

“I am only curious, shall I ready your bed? Draw you a bath?” You hissed, filled with a haughty breath. “Or perhaps you are more like your brother than you would admit and you’d prefer me on my knees?”

Loki blinked and his lips parted. He nodded and hummed as he considered you. He stood, slowly. His steps were deliberate as he neared and stopped before you. He reached up and played with the collar of the dress around your neck. He leaned in and lowered his voice.

“Not tonight.” He said, “This has been quite the day. You are exhausted. You are not thinking.” He took your chin between his index and thumb and made you look him in the eye. “I command you to go and rest for there will soon be another day upon us and much work to do still.”

[tiramisiyu]

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: “Romantic Rail Getaway” Lu Jinghe Route, Day 1

Translation Masterlist | Event Masterlist

Lu Jinghe Route: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5

Videos, where applicable, are hyperlinked on the headings in the post.

See under cut!

Part 1: The Rainforest’s Invitation

Circulating Trip Train Start Station

I’ve heard of something along these lines before – Tambuyani’s trip train is a thread that links together pearls.

Only with the guidance of this thread can you experience this country’s charm.

Lu Jinghe: I looked at the train route. The first station is located at Xiangya City.

Lu Jinghe: How about we wander around Xiangya City’s resort area in a moment? We shouldn’t tire ourselves out on the first day too much – might as well save some strength and have our fun slowly later.

MC: Mhmm, I saw that on the guide, it said that the resort has a massive local customs experience workshop. Do you want to experience wood carving?

Lu Jinghe: If you want to go, then I’ll accompany you.

We excitedly discussed our upcoming ride plans.

In front of the trip train’s station, other visitors were just like us, looking forward to the fantastical trip that was soon to start.

About this trip – it had started with Lu Jinghe.

--

[Flashback]

Lu Jinghe: Hey, jiejie, you’re taking a long break these days, right? Got any trip plans?

MC: Hmm… I haven’t thought about it for now. Let me sleep in first a few times, then I’ll figure it out!

Lu Jinghe: After you’ve slept enough, want to consider participating with me on the Tambuyani circulating trip train journey?

Lu Jinghe: A premium luxury high-end self-directed travel, and Pax’s CEO will personally design the trip route for you.

MC: Tambuyani? Why’d you suddenly want to go there?

This name, which I’d only seen in geography books, left me filled with surprise.

Tambuyani was a little tropical country located near the equator. Though its sceneries were magnificent, their economy was undeveloped.

No matter how you thought about it, a place as remote as this wouldn’t be Lu Jinghe’s first choice.

Lu Jinghe: For work. Pax invested in a rainforest over there and opened up an event. I’m planning to go there myself to see.

Lu Jinghe: On the way… I can take you to have fun for a few days and relieve boredom.

MC: So that’s how it was – then I’ll think about it…

Lu Jinghe: Stop considering it – might as well hurry and pack your suitcase. I’ll pick you up tomorrow to go to the airport. Hanging up now.

[Flashback end]

--

Lu Jinghe moved rapidly. On the second day, we boarded the private plain headed towards Tambuyani.

We were sent straight to the start station of the circulating trip train when we got off the plane – he’d arranged for everything neatly and tidily.

Precisely as he said, this was a trip that could let one relax, as well as look forward to greatly.

MC: Right, you said on the phone with me before… you came here for a rainforest project?

Lu Jinghe: Mhmm, Pax is preparing to build a nature reserve at Imana Rainforest and analyze the “parrot-tail fairy flower” project in the meantime.

MC: Parrot-tail fairy flower?

Lu Jinghe: When our people came to the rainforest to discuss the reserve project, they noticed a kind of rare plant with medicinal value, by chance.

MC: Hmm… it sounds like those legendary medicinal herbs that can cure illnesses and save lives?

Lu Jinghe: It might be, though I’m not too clear on the exact situation.

Lu Jinghe: When we get to Xiangya City in a moment, the person in charge of this project will pick us up. When time comes, you can ask him in detail.

MC: … There are Pax’s people in Xiangya City too?

Lu Jinghe: He came to Xiangya City on business today, so I called him over to chat. It’s perfect for getting an understanding of the project’s development – this is called “preparedness averts peril”.

The corners of Lu Jinghe’s mouth pulled up, his eyes full of smiles.

Lu Jinghe: Alright, let’s talk about this later. Let’s think first about how we’ll enjoy a happy lunchtime on the train.

Lu Jinghe: In the train’s dining room, there are Tambuyani’s characteristic culinary delicacies, and decent-tasting Western meals that you can help yourself to. What do you want to eat?

MC: Hmm…

Since we’re here, logically, we should try the delicacies of this place.

But I remembered, when I was looking up the guides, I saw those “characteristic delicacies”.

Stuff like roasted ants, stuffed cicada pupae, roasted scorpions… what if later, the stuff in the food platter brought over by the server was…

Should I challenge myself?

>Self-serve Western meal >This place’s characteristic delicacies

MC: I’ll go with the self-serve Western meal.

Lu Jinghe: Sure, I’ll go book a sumptuous self-serve feast, and we’ll be able to eat it after we get on the train.

Lu Jinghe: Although… you sure you don’t want to try Tambuyani’s characteristic delicacies?

Lu Jinghe: I’ve heard that there’s a kind of black bean orange rice that tastes delicious – it’s one of the visitors’ must-try Top Ten Characteristic Delicacies.

MC: I do want to try… but what if I run into some particularly weird ingredients… that would be tragic…

Lu Jinghe: Makes sense. We can take it slow and check out the tables of the guests who’ve ordered those delicacies.

Lu Jinghe: If there’s anything you want to eat, there’s still time to order them next time.

MC: Okay, so it’s decided!

 >Self-serve Western meal >This place’s characteristic delicacies

MC: Whew, I’ve thought it through! I’m going to eat Tambuyani’s characteristic delicacies!

MC: The guides online say that the black bean orange rice on the train is one of a kind. Those who’ve eaten it all say it’s good.

MC: Want to order one serving with me?

Lu Jinghe: I’ll lowkey let you in on a secret. Actually… I had just wanted to recommend the black bean orange rice to you; didn’t think you’d bring it up first.

Lu Jinghe: Sure enough, the two of us have tacit understanding!

Lu Jinghe smiled, his expression looking “quite proud”.

I was unable to resist teasing him once.

MC: Have you really decided? If it doesn’t taste good, then you won’t be able to regret it.

Lu Jinghe: Have some trust in yourself – believe that our choice will definitely be right!

Lu Jinghe smiled, his eyebrows curving. Looking at his eyes, it seemed like I could smell the sweet scent of the orange rice.

MC: I already can’t wait to try it.

--

“Toot…” accompanying the sound the whistle’s long toot, the circulating trip train entered the station gradually.

Lu Jinghe stood up, dragging his and my two large suitcases, and winked at me.

Lu Jinghe: Let’s go – our rainforest trip is about to start.

MC: Mhmm, coming!

 Part 2: Vacation Entertainment Area – “First Time Hearing about the Rainforest Project”

After the circulating trip train arrived at Xiangya City, I followed Lu Jinghe to tour around Xiangya City’s vacation resort area.

We’d just arrived near the vacation entertainment area when we saw a young person far from us, wearing traditional Tambuyani clothing, waving at us.

???: Hello, CEO Lu and Lawyer MC. You two finally came as expected. Was the trip here smooth?

The young man greeted us very warmly.

???: I’m called Akka, the person in charge of the rainforest project. Welcome to Tambuyani.

MC: Hello.

Lu Jinghe: Akka is the rainforest expert that Pax specially hired. He knows about everything in the rainforest the best.

Lu Jinghe: Weren’t you just talking about how you wanted to know about the rainforest project? You can straight-up ask him.

Akka: CEO Lu, you’re being too courteous. It’s all thanks to the support of Pax that I have the opportunity to take charge over this project that I’ve thought so long over.

Akka: Feel free to ask whatever questions you have. I’ll definitely do my very best to answer them in detail.

--

[INTERROGATION START]

Rainforest Project

MC: Could you tell me what the “Rainforest Project” is?

Akka: It’s like this. The Pax Group and the related departments of Tambuyani’s government reached an agreement to build a rainforest nature reserve.

Akka: The main goal is to develop the rainforest economy, as well as to search for and protect rare rainforest plants.

Akka: The construction plans of the whole reserve was named the “Rainforest Project” by us.

Parrot-tail Fairy Flower

MC: Hm… what’s the “parrot-tail fairy flower” project? Does it have to do with the “Rainforest Project”?

Akka: The parrot-tail fairy flower was a rare plant we noticed by accident.

Akka: In its rhizome, there is a special sort of alkaloid in it that has significant curative effects to many kinds of severe diseases. It’s got very high medicinal value.

Akka: It was just that, due to ecological damage in the rainforest a few years ago with factors like the exacerbation of resource plundering, we thought before that this species of flower had already gone extinct.

Akka: Everyone is very happy about the discovery of the continued existence of the parrot-tail fairy flower.

Akka: I truly hope that we can get a grasp on its properties early on, so we can advance in science-based planting and protection of these.

MC: I really want to see a parrot-tail fairy flower myself.

Lu Jinghe: You can. I’ll take you to see them in a few days.

Reserve Plan

MC: What plan have you prepared for your reserve? Could you let me in on it?

Akka: As of now, there are two large chunks of the plan – the ecological entertainment area and the biological reserve.

Akka: The main hit of the ecological entertainment area is the environmental protection tour, which has attracted more visitors to experience the charm of our Tambuyani rainforest.

Akka: On the biological reserve side, we’re protecting the rare plants in the rainforest. We’ve developed a limited-time sightseeing tour to increase everyone’s protective concern towards the environment.

Akka: Although, these are still in the planning stage. In upcoming days, we might adjust the plan at any given time.

MC: Still, it really does make me excited, listening to it.

MC: After it’s built, I feel like this place will become a trip hotspot.

 Rainforest Economy

MC: When you’re talking about the rainforest’s economy, you mean…?

Akka: We’re mainly developing the rainforest trip project and investing in the rainforest economy.

Akka: Only when the economy has developed will the local residents have the energy to work with us and finish the upcoming collaborative plan.

MC: (Feels like Pax is doing a big project here in Tambuyani.)

INTERROGATION COMPLETE

Lu Jinghe: Alright, let’s end this simple intro here. Shouldn’t we start touring around?

True… I’d gotten too absorbed in the conversation and almost forgot that the trip was the ultimate goal.

MC: Mhmm, let’s go! Let’s sign in at the vacation entertainment area.

Lu Jinghe: Exactly. The trip is what’s important!

 Part 3:  Vacation Relaxation Area

[Gameplay]

Part 4: Indigenous Arts Area – “Pleasures of the Resort”

Leisure Recreational Beach

Under Akka’s company, Lu Jinghe and I followed Xiangya City’s commerce main road, idly strolling near the leisure beach.

The warm sunlight paired with the sounds of the waves, making me absentmindedly think that I was vacationing at a seaside city.

MC: I didn’t think that Xiangya City had such a pretty beach.

Akka: This artificial beach is a specifically-built attraction by the trip planning department, to guide visitor flow.

Akka: A little farther down is Xiangya City’s most well-known vacation resort. As it’s your first times coming to Tambuyani, I recommend that you two must go check it out.

Akka gave us a warm introduction to the popular attractions in Xiangya City, looking just like a tour guide.

--

INTERROGATION START

Popular Attractions

MC: Akka, how about you recommend some of the popular attractions in the vacation resort for us?

Akka: I personally would recommend the two of you see the rainforest ecology park, and the indigenous art museum.

Akka: I feel like… these two places embody natural style and cultural environment of Tambuyani the best.

Rainforest Ecology Park

MC: If we go to the rainforest ecology park, we’ll probably experience the charm of the rainforest in advance, right?

Akka: Yes, the entire rainforest ecology park is designed to reproduce Tambuyani’s most famous Imana Rainforest.

Akka: Over two hundred types of rainforest plans are planted in the ecology park, and we also have explanatory guidepeople to expound on the characteristics of the rainforest plants.

Akka: I feel like this is a great opportunity for visitors to learn about the rainforest.

MC: Mhmm, we’ll go see the ecology park in a moment.

MC: I already can’t wait to experience the atmosphere of the rainforest.

Indigenous Art Museum

MC: The indigenous art museum… is it a place to display the artwork of the indigenous people?

Akka: Yes, this art museum was recently just completed and opened to the public.

Akka: There are lots of modern handmade artworks made by the indigenous people, as well as some ancient art relics dug up by archaeologists.

Akka: Trust me, you’ll definitely feel like it was worth it if you go see!

MC: (Art-related things… Lu Jinghe probably is very interested.)

MC: How about we go check out the art museum in a while?

Lu Jinghe: I was thinking this too. Sure enough, we’ve got tacit understanding.

 Rainforest Delicacies

MC: I remember that… the online guides say that there’s a rainforest delicacy street in the resort area!

MC: Are there any special delicacies you can recommend?

Akka: Haha, there are lots of delicious delicacies in the resort. As for special ones… hmm…

Akka: I’d recommend the two of you try the palmito salad and black bean coconut milk fried shrimp.

Palmito Salad

MC: Palmito salad?

Akka: Yes, it uses the tree core of a special palm tree, which gets grouped with olive oil and fresh fish to make a salad.

Akka: This kind of palmito tastes sweet and refreshing, is rich in nutrition, and it has diet therapy uses.

Akka: I guarantee that you two will praise it to high heavens after eating it.

MC: Sounds pretty good. Lu Jinghe, how about we try it later?

Lu Jinghe: Sure, it’s noted on our delicacy checklist.

 Black Bean Coconut Milk Fried Shrimp

MC: Black bean coconut milk fried shrimp? Hmm… the sound of it kind of feels like dark cuisine.

Akka: It’s not dark at all! The fragrant black beans, sweet coconut milk, and the fresh, sweet shrimp are a perfect combination!

Akka: It’s covered in breadcrumbs and fried until golden – it’ll definitely shock your tastebuds.

MC: (Why does it sound like he’s reciting it off an advertisement? Could this be a delicacy Akka likes?)

MC: Sure, I’ll try it when I get the chance.

INTERROGATION END

--

Akka patiently introduced us to the various vacation events in the resort area. The hype I was feeling was already at its highest level.

MC: It feels like there are lots of places in the resort area.

Lu Jinghe: Mhmm, we’ve got an entire day’s worth of time, and we can check them out slowly.

Just as we were chatting, Akka’s phone suddenly vibrated.

He turned around and picked up a call. A few minutes later, he hung up, looking at an utter loss as he faced us.

Akka: CEO Lu, Lawyer MC, my apologies. I’ve got some things to deal with and I’ve got to return to the research lab…

Lu Jinghe: No worries, go ahead.

MC: Thanks for introducing us to so much stuff. We’ll check everything out ourselves for the next while.

Akka: Right, this is our Tambuyani travel map, and the popular attractions have been indicated on it.

Akka: If the two of you are interested, you might as well reference the travel route on the map.

MC: This map is really useful, thank you.

Akka: No problem. Then, I hope that you have fun at Tambuyani. Goodbye.

 Part 5: Rainforest Delicacies Area

[Gameplay]

 Part 6: Rainforest Ecology Park

[Gameplay]

 Part 7: Lively Intent

Xiangya Resort Area

After bidding farewell to the person in charge of the project, Lu Jinghe and I went to wander at the resort area.

We walked as we viewed the resort area’s rainforest ecology park, experiencing the charm of the rainforest in advance.

MC: The real forest must be even more beautiful.

Lu Jinghe: Mhmm, Imana Rainforest is known as the Green Pearl of Tambuyani, the most beautiful location in Tambuyani.

Lu Jinghe: In two days, we’ll be able to witness its charm ourselves.

MC: There’s a question I’ve wanted to ask the whole time… is Pax SciTech’s collaboration with Tambuyani for the rainforest reserve very important?

Lu Jinghe: Huh, why do you ask?

MC: You’re pretty busy usually. If it’s not important, you wouldn’t come out to inspect this yourself.

Lu Jinghe: Projects like this don’t need me to head out personally to begin with, but, well…

MC: (So, you simply just wanted to come out with me and have fun?)

Lu Jinghe: I took you out to have fun to have some more days off.

Guessed right – not even the slightest bit off.

MC: Oh you… watch out, you’ll probably be scolded again by your Board of Directors members again after getting back.

Lu Jinghe: Jiejie, are you worrying about me?

Lu Jinghe’s voice was full of joy, hints of mischief showing through his eyes that were full of smiles.

Based on what I understood of him, he was waiting for me to deny it to seize the opportunity and tease me.

Hmph, I’m not letting him lead me by my nose!

MC: Yeah, I’m “worried” that that group of old people will give you a good spank when you get back.

MC: When time comes, don’t come jumping into my arms, crying.

Lu Jinghe: Ah?!

Lu Jinghe widened his eyes and opened his mouth, wanting to speak, yet speechless.

After freezing for two to three seconds, he tactically coughed twice, clearing his throat.

Lu Jinghe: Uh… tomorrow, we’re going to check in at the Mangrove Forest Park. How about we head back to the train earlier and rest?

It truly was rare to force Lu Jinghe into surrender. If there was time, I really wanted to see this for a few more minutes.

But he was right – it really wasn’t that early anymore.

Thinking about the itinerary tomorrow, I decided to let him go for now.

MC: Sure, I’ll listen to you. Let’s head back.

Hearing me say this, Lu Jinghe released a very conspicuous sigh, displaying the lively smile that was just like in the past.

[putschki1969]

Wakana Anime Classic 2020 Stream Archive UPDATE

I would like to preface this post by apologising to everyone who has bought a ticket for Wakana’s live stream concert due to my recommendation and encouragement. I am truly sorry.  m(＿＿)m

I obviously wanted as many people as possible to support Wakana but now I feel bad for promoting a shitty service like Live2U. I do not at all regret buying my own ticket because abysmal streaming quality notwhithstanding, it was an amazing live BUT I can no longer ask you to give money to them with a clear conscience. So if you were planning to buy a ticket for the archived video, please don’t.

Judging from all the issues that occurred during the initial registration phase way back in November I was almost certain things wouldn’t go smoothly during the live stream. Their server power is clearly not strong enough to handle this sort of traffic and they may or may not be using a completely wrong platform for their streaming service... Either way, I was hoping they would learn from their mistakes and improve the quality of their service a tiny bit until the live or at the very least make sure to provide a flawless video in the archive. I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt but alas, they turned out to be even more incompetent than I could have ever expected. Not only was the stream itself shitty as hell, they also couldn’t manage to provide a good archived version of the concert. And now they are coming up with a bunch of excuses, going as far as to take down the archived video, claiming to “fix” the issues and “improve” the quality. I am curious to see how they are gonna achieve that and get out of this mess since it would most likely require a full-on restructering of their entire service. We will see...

You know me, I am not a Space Craft hater, I do not enjoy speaking ill of them and I believe it is important to respect them despite their questionable methods. But it has honestly been a while since they have made such a poor decision so I can’t help but feel annoyed. Partnering with Live2U might be one of the most stupid things they have ever done. Obviously the fault still mostly lies with Live2U for advertising a service they cannot actually offer but it was Space Craft’s responsibility to at least make a little background check before partnering with such a shitty company. And now that they have entered this partnership it will be difficult for SC to get out of the deal so it’s up to Live2U to improve their service so they can actually meet their contractual obligations.

Two statements have been released so far: Statement #1 2020/12/22 Currently, difficulties occur during the viewing of the archived footage of “Wakana Anime Classic 2020″ due to the viewing environment. We apologise for the inconvenience but we will be suspending archive viewing for the time-being to fix the issue and let you know once it becomes available again. We apologise once again for any inconvenience caused to our customers.

Statement #2 2020/12/23 Archive viewing will continue to be suspended. We apologise for any inconvenience caused to our customers and have decided to extend the streaming period of the archived video. Details will be announced once the archive distribution is resumed again, so please be patient a little while longer.

At least they are offering an extension of the archive period but at this point it doesn’t seem like an adequate compensation considering how badly they have screwed up. They better think of something else to appease their customers. If the bits I saw of the archived video are any indication, a few (essential!) seconds here and there were cut due to Live2U’s bad connection during the stream recording so I fear we will never get those seconds back no matter how hard they try to fix all their issues. *sobs* Thanks to @mach3n for the input. I really hope it is as you say and they actually do have a flawless in-studio recording which they can use for the archive instead of just providing the streamed footage which they had previously done.

Oh well, all we can do now is wait and see what happens. Let’s stay positive and hope they can figure something out. All I want is a high quality video of Wakana’s live which I can download to watch again and again for eternity. 

[generallyunskilled]

Why I sympathize with or apologize for these Dream SMP characters

Since I’m very unwell and watch just about every perspective on the Dream SMP, I’m a sympathizer or apologist for just about every character. I figured I’d share my thoughts on that. This is probably gonna be long.

Before I get started, here’s who I’m not a sympathizer or apologist for

c!Dream: fuck this guy. You’re not supposed to sympathize with him. He’s just all around evil, man. He’s an abuser, manipulator and he preys on those weaker than him. I still enjoy his character however, he’s just so delightfully hateable and I love when villains are hateable.

c!Sam: I get Sam. I really do. I understand where he’s coming from. But good god, it’s just not working! His little system keeps fucking up and he doesn’t really seem to get that it’s the system itself and not the people fucking it up. He’s too damn lawful for his own good. The prison is eating at him and you can see how he’s becoming more and more a bastardized version of the man he used to be. I want to be able to sympathize with him, and I’m not going to excuse the shitty things he’s done, but I understand him. As he is right now he’s gone off the deep end and doesn’t even know it yet. However I do think he can change. There’s still a chance for it.

Any other character not listed I simply just do not have an opinion on them. Maybe I don’t watch them often, there’s just not much to their character, or they simply haven’t done much for them to need apologists or sympathizers.

Now onto the list

c!Tommy: this kid has been through so much and received so little support. Like yeah, he’s done some wrong things, but he’s been so disproportionately punished for them. Like almost everyone else does the things he does without any repercussions. He’s also stopped doing most of the things people had issues with, or is at least trying. I feel like people don’t realize half the reason Tommy did any of his ‘bad’ things is he’s simply never been taught better. Everyone wants him to learn his lesson but never actually teach him anything but violence and pain. Also, half the things the fandom calls him an asshole for are literally mental illness symptoms. Stop that. Kids got some things messed up in his head. I’m not one to diagnose but he gets pretty damn close to the criteria for C-PTSD. You know, from the near constant trauma in his life. Kid needs a break. And a doctor.

c!Techno: I’m really flip floppy with him. His motives are understandable but his morals are wack as hell. I get wanting something against people who’ve wronged you. I get disliking government. What I don’t get, is the absolute disproportionate retribution he delivers. I also don’t get his moral high ground. He has his reasons for distrusting government. He has his reasons for disliking L’Manburg (o7). And I think it’s perfectly valid to want to air his grievances. He’s got a very admirable combination of “do unto others” and “an eye for an eye”. Mans just bungles the execution of these ideas. He’s got a lot of problems, but however, I feel like he’s got something coming to him. cc!Techno’s a better writer than this. And now with it seeming like a lot of miscommunication is getting cleared up, some of Technos past transgressions might come back to him. I think he’s headed in an interesting direction.

c!Phil: a lot of what I said for Techno applies to him as well. In addition, we know he also blames the government for his son’s spiral and death. It makes sense based on what he knows. I had something completely different here in the drafts but now we know that Wilbur didn’t tell him the truth about what happened in Manburg-Pogtopia era of the SMP. He’s been completely misinformed and you can TELL this has shaken his world up. He’s gaining a lot of new knowledge really fast. It’s becoming clear that maybe he’s beginning to regret some of what he’s done. But beyond the misinformation, he also just never got much time to actually grieve for his son and heal before the plot moved on. I feel like Phil is one of those guys who sorta just stuffs all his emotions away, but now it’s getting to be too much. He has a lot of hidden depth and I think he’s definitely on the way to a different role than what he’s played.

c!Wilbur: before his death, Wilbur needed help. No one realized anything was wrong until it was too late to pull him out of his spiral. We now know he started falling after Eret’s betrayal. He was paranoid and growing to hate what he had created. It seems like Eret was the catalyst, but the election was the straw that broke the camels back. Everyone just kind of sat around and hoped he’d change his mind. The only one willing to try was Tommy, and Tommy was just a kid. Something could have been done for him. He wasn’t a villain. He was just someone who went down a dark path that could have been pulled away if someone who wasn’t a 16 year old boy tried to reach out to him. Post-resurrection, he seems to be happy to be alive again. I’m not saying he’s completely out of the spiral but clearly something changed in limbo. And yeah him saying Dream is his hero is hella sketch but I mean, he doesn’t have the full story yet. I need to see more of revivedbur to make an opinion on him entirely.

c!Tubbo: this kid has had so little agency for so much of the plot. Most of the bad things he’s done were under duress or because he was practically being used. He really was a pawn in other peoples games, unfortunately. Any action of his that wasn’t like this was something he did out of pure reaction. He’s a very reactionary guy. He doesn’t start shit but he’ll try to finish it if he can. Tubbo is mostly just trying to get by. He’s been a soldier, a spy, a president and whatever else he needed to be or what others needed him to be. His time as president had him being pushed around and put under pressure he should never been put under. He was backed into corner after corner and expected to make the right decision with different people telling him what that was. Now he’s just trying to have some peace for himself and his family. He made the nukes for defense and defense only. It’s extreme but he’s been taught that extremism is the only thing that works.

c!Ranboo: dude literally doesn’t know what, when, or how he did any of the bad things he did. He’s not himself for most of the wrongdoings he’s done. Hell, we don’t even know if he actually did do some of the things or if it’s Dream manipulating him. Dream is literally taking advantage of Ranboo having the Enderwalk state. This makes him one of the most dangerous people on the server as Dream puppet, but also one of the most victimized. Now this doesn’t absolve him completely because harm was still done but it’s a reasonable cause behind his actions. Like I mentioned he’s also a victim of Dream in this way. Even he’s scared of what could happen and the possibility that he could be a danger to the people he loves. Granted his moral code used to be pretty wack but he’s getting better at that. I really like his “choose people” stance bc at first it was just him making his own side but now he’s genuinely picking and choosing people and being with them because he likes them as people rather than their stance on things. He and Tubbo were already friends before they got married, he’s not an official part of Snowchester though, iirc, and the only reason he joined The Syndicate was to make sure they don’t go after Tubbo.

c!Fundy, c!Niki, and c!Jack all go in the “seek some healthy coping mechanisms for the love of god” pile. Niki has already started on this as she’s baking again. c!Fundy honestly hasn’t done much wrong afaik, but he still needs to go to therapy that poor fox boy has so much daddy issues and sadness. c!Jack literally just needs to work through his issues with Tommy bc dude only knows murder as an answer to his problems. There’s other ones and he should learn them. These three are just traumatized and don’t know what to do with themselves.

[kiridork]

Some more Kyo headcanons

So last night me and a few people on my discord server were talking about Kyo and Tohru and it led into a conversation involving Kyo’s PTSD (i know he’s not diagnosed but he’s had so much trauma in his life and has had nightmares and panic attacks that I would be surprised if he doesn’t). It led into talking about possible triggers that Kyo might have and I wanted to share the four that I came up with. WARNING this post not only has spoilers for the series but it can deal with touchy subjects so heed with caution! 

Okay, so I ended up trying to come up with triggers that involved the most traumatic things that happened in his life (traumatic events that Kyo has witnessed first hand). These would essentially be: the abuse caused by Kyo’s father, witnessing his mom’s suicide (look the trailer for season 2 pretty much said it so i’m rolling with it), experiences with his true form, and Kyoko’s accident. 

Before I get into it more, these are the things that Kyo experienced first hand. Tohru falling off the cliff would not be traumatic for him since he wasn’t there when she fell, he only saw the aftermath of it. This also relates to the cats room because while it is very depressing to know that you’re life is over before you start it, he was never put into the room, which would have definitely caused trauma.  Also, I know that Kyo was very isolated when he was a kid and that kind of neglect can cause trauma, Kyo tends to like being alone so I feel as though that would be very conflicting thing to go about. 

Anyway! I decided that because these events were traumatic (a few of them were repetitive trauma), he has triggers correlating with each event. Here are four of them that I came up with:

Crowded traffic/intersections: this one correlates with Kyoko and her accident. I feel like the intersection they were both at is very busy with lots of people and very loud with the sound of cars and people talking. Those things bring flashbacks to that day with Kyoko and cause him to panic.

Subway stations and the subway: This one correlates with his mom’s suicide. Of what the season 2 trailer shows, to me it’s pretty clear that he was there when his mom jumped in front of the train. I know that there’s a panel in the manga showing Kazuma showing Kyo trains. That’s why I specified to the subway because in that panel it looks like those were cargo carts which look completely different than a Japanese subway train. These also make Kyo panic and he tries to avoid them as much as he can.

Grabbing his wrist: I’m saying more as in a way to try to stop someone from going or trying to get someone’s attention. That kind of fast, instant grab. Not like how Tohru tenderly grabbed his wrist during volume 8. This one hundred percent involves his true form. Pretty much every time Kyo transforms into his true form, it’s always because someone forcefully grabs his wrist and pulls his bracelet off. Which could be another explanation why he flipped that girl who grabbed his arm (with other causes of course). Side note: I also feel like after the curse breaks there are times Kyo looks at his wrist to see his bracelet gone and panics until he remembers that the curse broke and he doesn’t need it anymore. 

Cigarette Smoke: This one is kind of far fetched one but I couldn’t figure out one that would correlate with his dad’s abuse since we don’t see a whole lot of it in the series (we really only see one of Kyo’s flashbacks for that). I did remember that his dad smokes. Which the smell of cigarettes could trigger memories of his dad smoking and the abuse that went on during living with him. I know that Shigure smokes too (or well in the manga he does. due to japan’s strict smoking laws it’s not allowed to be showed on tv anymore) which is why this one isn’t so much triggering. It was at first, but since Shigure smokes a lot he had to get used to it and now it just leaves him feeling ill. It’s also interesting that this is the exact opposite of @lilbeehive‘s headcanon about Tohru liking the smell of cigarette smoke because the smell reminds her of her mom (who did smoke).

I feel like there could be a few more things that could trigger him but I can’t really think of any at the moment. But I do want to say a few more things while I’m on the subject:

I 100% agree with @mistergrass‘s headcanon about Kyo having a panic attack the first night that he stayed at Shigure’s house. Just think about it: your master left you alone to fend for yourself for who knows how long, you make a bet with your god that determines your future, you go and fight your cousin only to be transformed and informed that this girl who was there just so happened to be the daughter of the women that you allowed to die, then out of all that you are ordered by your god to live at this house with the cousin you hate (and pushed all of your traumatic experiences on) and that same girl relating to a traumatic experience you wanted to forget. ... Yeah I would have a panic attack too. Oh and also you’re sleeping in the living room until your room is figured out. Awesome. I think once Kyo had been left alone while everyone went to bed, the living room dark and empty, he would contemplate what the fuck happened and then immediately freak out when he realizes what this entails. 

Lastly, I would like to mention I do believe that even after the curse, Kyo still panics, has nightmares, and is still trying to cope with all of this. Traumatic events and PTSD don’t just magically go away when one problem is solved. They are still there and it’s something that has to be constantly managed. It doesn’t get fixed, you just learn healthy coping mechanisms and ways to manage it in your day to day life. And I think Tohru really helps him through this as well and her and kazuma are really good support systems. Also if him completely repressing the memory of his dad yelling at his mom that both him and her should die, who the fuck knows what other memories he’s repressing too. I don’t know, I just think that with Rin saying she is still in pain after everything and how that message was saying that it’ll be a long time for everyone to heal, it just feels right that Kyo, and everyone else, is still dealing with this fucked up situation.

Those were my thoughts and this entire thing which I needed to get out of my head. Hope you found this interesting!

[lightsburnbrite]

Things We Do for Love: Part 2

(Third part to Such a Thrill and The Devil is in the Details)

As the months passed, Leon slowly started to form normalcy. His apartment resembled more of a bachelor’s pad as Karina’s personal items were removed. In an effort to get his mind off of things, it wasn’t uncommon for two or three of Leon’s friends to come and stay for weeks at a time and he genuinely appreciated the company but it didn’t replace the fact that Karina was gone. Mathea, never one to miss an opportunity, soon moved herself in and resumed her role as the doting girlfriend.

“Ha! I’ve found her.”

Leon let the basketball rebound off the floor before holding it still. Putting the net up in the living room seemed like both his best and worst idea to date. “What? Found who?”

“Karina.” Sebastian called back out. He wasn’t Leon’s official agent, but he acted in a managerial capacity in addition to being Leon’s close friend. “She’s listed on the website as the Associate Curator of European Art.”

Leon put the ball down and walked over to the sofa where Sebastian was lounging. He stopped short, trying to decide if he would feel better knowing where Karina was or if he would feel worse. “What website?”

“AGO.” Sebastian looked up from the screen at Leon. “Does Marius really not know where she is?”

Leon shook his head. “No. Their parents haven’t come out and said it but he figured they’d cut him off too if he tried to get in touch with her. What does AGO stand for?”

“Art Gallery of Ontario.” He turned his laptop towards Leon. “As in Ca-na-da, eh?”

Leon smirked at Sebastian’s over pronunciation but he couldn’t help but smile at Karina’s picture placed alongside her bio. She looked essentially the same, her hair might have been a bit longer and she had it straightened in this picture, but she looked genuinely happy. Leon knew that Karina had a “professional smile” that she used to counteract her natural inclination to frown but the smile she wore in her picture proved her to be happy and proud of this new position.

“Oh damn,”

Leon turned back to Sebastian who was on his phone now. “What now?”

“Looks like she’s got a new…” Sebastian hesitated. “Well, have a look.”

Sebastian had pulled facebook up on his phone but he didn’t know the person who’s profile it was. It was a picture of a group of six people at what looked to be an outdoor wedding reception, the bride and groom were placed in the middle with two people on either side. Karina stood to the very right, tucked neatly against the side of man who looked to be about the same age, her hand resting on his chest while his was placed low on her hip. Again, Karina smiled brightly while the man had more of a smirk and that instantly put Leon off him. He had been hoping maybe she was just the man’s plus one as a favor but then he read the caption and his heart sank.

Happy Siblings Day to these two weirdos. Loved having everyone together again at my wedding. Loved it even more that we finally got to meet baby brother’s new girlfriend who is the sweetest!

“What’s his name?” Leon looked over to Sebastian again. “Can you tell?”

Sebastian took his phone back and shrugged. “Look at the tagged names. Obviously we know Karina’s and if they are siblings then look for last names that are the same. Here we go…Cosmo is your guy. Or, I guess it’s more like her guy. Heh. What the fuck kind of name is Cosmo.”

Leon groaned but curiosity eventually got the better of him. At various points throughout the day, he was looking through multiple forms of social media belonging to a floppy haired hipster that had somehow caught Karina’s eye. He was mainly active on instagram, posting random landscapes and other seemingly artistic compositions. Leon was relieved that he didn’t see any pictures of Karina on there but when he came across a few pictures of Elsa, that was somehow worse. It had now become a serious relationship in his mind because Karina had allowed her beloved dog around this man.

Karina had effectively vanished from the face of the Earth in the 14 months since she left Leon. At first, Leon thought she had just blocked him but when she ‘liked’ one of his posts about a charity endeavor he and Joshua were working on, Leon realized she had just been silent. That initial ‘like’ broke the seal, it seemed, and just like that, she became active again. There were a few selfies and a few more pictures of Elsa but then came the pictures of Elsa and the new boyfriend. It wasn’t a blatantly obvious picture of the two of them, but he recognized the fragment of a roman numeral tattoo he had on his arm from other pictures.

While laying in bed one night, Leon was scrolling through pictures. Mathea moved closer and rested her head on his shoulder. “Who’s that?”

“Oh, um..” Leon cleared his throat and thought of how he could explain that he was essentially stalking the new love interest of his estranged wife. “Karina has a new boyfriend.”

Mathea took his phone and looked at pictures of the two of them and sneered. “He’s got a big nose. Whatever, you’re hotter.”

It made Leon feel at least a bit better to hear her say that, but there was now way Mathea could be objective. He had decided to give Karina a call and see if she would actually answer. Karina had donated a sizable amount to his charity and calling to say thank you seemed to be a good reason. To his surprise, she answered.

“Hi Leon, what’s up?”

He instantly smiled. “Hey, Maus. I, uh, wanted to say thank you for your donation. That was really generous of you.”

“Of course.” She held the phone away and coughed. “You and Joshua are doing great things, I’m happy to help.”

“Right…” He nodded even though she wouldn’t be able to see him. He wanted to say it was good to hear her voice, that he was happy she was ok and hoped she was doing well but all of a sudden, the words came before he had the chance to stop himself. “Mathea found your wedding dress the other day. I guess I could ship it to you?”

“Oh, um, honestly, I don’t want it back. You can do what you want with it.” She hesitated. “Listen, Leon, I was thinking it’s time that we finalize things. We’re kinda in limbo right now and I think we both just need to move on. I’m going to be in Munich next week, would you be able to meet with our lawyers?”

Leon let out a sigh. She was right, but it still hurt him to hear it. “Um, yeah. We can do that.”

They sat in a meeting room around a circular table and had an unsurprisingly civil conversation.

“I see that you maintained separate accounts so that makes the division of assets somewhat more straightforward.” Leon’s lawyer shuffled some papers before addressing Karina specifically. “Will you be petitioning for spousal support, Ms. Müller?”

Karina shook her head. “No. I’m not asking for anything, I just want this to be finalized so we can move on.”

His lawyer nodded. “And you are fine with returning the ring and vacating the residence?”

“My client has already returned the ring and has maintained a residence in Toronto for the past year.” Karina’s lawyer interjected now. “We are mainly concerned with making sure that your client will not be trying to get anything from Ms. Müller.”

“I see there is a dog, was the animal obtained together-”

“Elsa belongs to Karina. I’m not contesting that.” Leon spoke up. “Any piece of artwork too, it’s all hers.”

“Ok,” Karina’s lawyer responded. “Both parties agree to part with what they entered the marriage with. Is this correct?”

“I don’t know…I guess i just feel like…” Leon sighed heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I feel like we’re rushing things along.”

Karina sat perfectly still in the chair next to him, straight as a pin. “Leon, we’ve been separated for over a year, it’s time for us to move on.”

Leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, Leon sighed again and tried to wrap his mind around how their relationship had progressed to this point. “Alright. What do you need me to sign?”

Once the papers were signed and notarized, their lawyers shook hands and departed leaving Leon and Karina to sit in silence.

“Do, um…” Leon was getting frustrated with how hesitant he was feeling. “Would you want to get dinner tonight?”

Karina opened her mouth before frowning slightly. “Leon, that sounds very nice but I’m not sure if that’s the best idea.”

“Yeah, I get that. It’s just this feels like a shitty way to close things.” He shrugged. “I thought this would be an ok way to make it up to you.”

She started to say that there was no need to make anything up to her, she held no ill will towards him but ultimately she thought better of it and simply nodded. Karina would have rather done anything else than to sit down to dinner with him but considered it one last good faith effort before moving on completely.

Leon set the reservations at the restaurant of the Charles hotel where Karina was staying. He had done so out of convenience for Karina, she knew that, but she also knew he had probably forgotten the time when they sat in the same restaurant and she confessed that she was hopelessly in love with him.

With a sigh, she pulled a simple black shirt dress from the closet and made sure it hadn’t gotten too wrinkled in travel. After deciding that her hair and makeup were fine, Karina checked at the front desk but was shown to the table despite Leon having not arrived yet.

She glanced over the menu but didn’t see anything that really jumped out at her so she let her eyes wander around the restaurant. Karina looked up towards the entrance just in time to see Leon holding the door open for Mathea who was wearing the same dress Karina wore to their wedding. Seeing the two of them walk in together caused Karina’s stomach to plummet to the floor. She saw a server pass and she held up one finger to flag him down. “I’m sorry, could I get a double vodka soda with a slice of lemon, please? Thanks.”

She stood as they were ushered to the table, avoiding any sort of eye contact as they sat down.

Leon smiled and placed a hand on her forearm. “You look great, Mausi.”

Karina smiled but more out of a desire to be polite. Mathea being there to begin with put her on edge, but the display of affection from Leon only made it worse.

Mathea didn’t pass up the opportunity to look her over from head to toe, ending her gaze with a smirk. “Do you ever wear anything with color?”

“Rarely.” Leon had to stop himself from laughing as Karina delivered the line deadpan.

Her expression turning to a sneer, Mathea would not let Karina get away with besting her. “You look like a nun only there’s the problem of your devil worship-”

“Mathea, enough.” Leon cut in now, attempting to keep a somewhat civil conversation.

“It’s nice to see you as well, Mathea.” Karina offered a kind but entirely forced smile. “A bit unexpected if I do say so, especially in that dress.”

Mathea grinned. “It’s lovely, isn’t it? I needed to have it taken in, I was practically swimming in it before!”

Leon immediately ducked his head. “Sorry, I thought you’d be bringing…sorry.”

“Bringing who?” She pressed him, curious as to who Leon would have had in mind.

He inhaled deeply. “I thought your boyfriend would have come with you.”

“Nope. Just me.” Karina forced a smile. “No boyfriend.”

“Hmm.” Mathea smiled more smugly now. “That’s a shame. Leon and I just got back from Ibiza, we had a great time together with Marius.”

“Lovely.” Karina nodded slightly, attempting not to bristle at the mention of her brother. “Glad you had fun.”

Leon went on about various events and goings on, seemingly oblivious to Mathea’s desire to agitate Karina and Karina’s subsequent distress.

“You know,” Mathea looked over to Leon and smiled fondly. “I’ve always wanted to see what you call ‘the big house’. I’ve always wondered of it really was that big.”

Leon hesitated, knowing that would be a sore spot. “No, that’s not really-”

“It's being rented, actually,” Karina hadn’t intended it to be a jab but the shocked look plastered on Mathea’s face was incredible satisfying. “About eight months ago.”

Mathea shook her head. “No, you had no right to do that without consulting us. What if we wanted to use it? I thought it would make a nice setting for a wedding.”

“A wedding…” She spoke softly and did her best not to show her irritation that Mathea was even part of this discussion. “It's my house, my estate. I discussed my thoughts with Olga and she was ready to move on as well. Apparently Marwin told her that he didn’t want me to feel weighed down by the house and should sell it if I wanted to. I thought about that but I didn't want to part with it because of my memories with Marwin there.”

It wasn't intentional, but Karina enjoyed watching Leon flinch when she mentioned wanting to hold on to her memories of Strohmann.    

“But you were married. Leon should have gotten half.” Mathea was practically scowling now. “Or spousal support.”

Leon held his hands up. “No. There is no reason for me to ask anything of Karina just because she’s worth more than I am. I’m not going to be petty or vindictive because you want a bigger place to live.”

The waiter had arrived with Karina’s drink and prepared to take their orders as well when she stopped him. “Thank you, but I think I’m actually just going to take this to my room. If you could charge their meal to my room as well?”

Slightly dumbfounded, the waiter nodded as Karina stood and raised her glass to Mathea and Leon. “Enjoy.”

Back in her room, Karina drained her glass quickly. The alcohol hit her hard on an empty stomach but it wasn’t enough to numb her yet. She grabbed the room service menu and ordered a dinner she would appreciate much more than anything at Sofia’s and a bottle of Prosecco to wash it down with.

Leon was visibly sullen for the rest of the evening which only frustrated Mathea.

“What are you so pissed about?” Mathea sat in the passenger seat and sulked.

It took Leon a minute to respond. “You could have pretended to be nice.”

“Sorry? I just figured we’re never going to like each other and we’re never going to see her again so why bother?” She reached over and rested her hand on his thigh. “Besides, we can actually talk about getting married now.”

Leon didn’t respond. He figured it would be better to wait to tell her that he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to get married again.

[earsofducks]

Day 5 - Arranged Marriage

C H A O S

Fem!Gabriel. Crowley doesn’t show up for a good long while. Beelzebub’s role in the castle/relation to the monarchy is very very hazy. Weddings and food and impermanent unhappiness, oh my!

@ineffablehusbandsweek

Prince Aziraphale has been slated to marry the Princess Gabrielle for nearly three years now. It’s a brilliant match for both kingdoms for a plethora of reasons. 

Aziraphale is not excited.

Gabrielle is the definition of a proper princess. He realizes this. She’s strong and clever and dashing.

She is also absolutely ravenous for power, and he has no interest in partaking. If he is to be king after his father’s death, he’d much prefer to rule with a gentle hand than look into conquesting and expanding, and this is exactly what Gabrielle would ask him to do. He knows it. She knows it. Their parents know it.

(He suspects that this is part of why she’s been selected. His parents have always thought him too soft.)

At first, Aziraphale was all but resigned to his fate. He’d accepted the fact that he was going to marry Gabrielle, spend a lifetime disagreeing with her and being exhausted, and then die, leaving behind a kingdom that would hopefully be exactly the same size as when he inherited it. He didn’t like that, but it was the way it was.

Now, he’s not so sure it has to be that way.

It’s been a long time since he’s started noticing the way Gabrielle looks at Beelzebub. There’s something in her eyes when she looks at them that he doesn’t see anywhere else - which is saying a lot, because since their engagement Aziraphale and Gabrielle have been spending the vast majority of their time together.

It’s never glaringly obvious. (Aziraphale suspects that Gabrielle has spent a long time figuring out how to keep the things she’s feeling off of her face.) It’s little things - the way she all but beams at Beelzebub when they’re in a meeting. The way she brings up their name in conversation when she and Aziraphale are alone and she’s not carefully monitoring her own words. The way Aziraphale stumbled upon them kissing the living daylights out of each other one time.

The little things.

He’s not sure how to bring it up, though. He certainly won’t tell anyone - it’s Gabrielle’s and Beelzebub’s secret. He won’t breathe a word. If she wants to go through with the wedding, despite her obvious affections for someone that is not him, he won’t stop her. 

Oh, but the thought of freedom is intoxicating. The idea of being able to walk away from this marriage that he never wanted. Aziraphale has resolved that if he does get out of it, he’s going to start fighting back. He’s had lots of time to think about it, and he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life with someone his parents picked out for him. He wants to look for his own partner, and, if he can’t find one, spend the rest of his life on his own. 

But, of course, if Gabrielle chooses to take the path of least resistance, he won’t stop her. 

*

She shows every sign of doing so. The date of the wedding is set. She spends hours in consultations with his mother, talking about lace and seating plans and cake. Aziraphale tries not to feel disappointed.

His father talks to him about being a good husband and a good king. He hates every second of the conversation.

The date of the wedding draws nearer. Aziraphale finds himself rebelling more and more at the idea of letting this major decision be made for him. He decides to discuss it with Gabrielle. Surely her love for another means that she’ll understand, that she’ll wish to dissolve the union that hasn’t quite been made yet - for both their sakes. 

Yes, she’ll understand.

He knocks on her door, well-rehearsed speech on the tip of his tongue. And then her door opens, and her face has tearstains on it.

“Get in here,” she says, and he follows her into her chambers. 

“Gabrielle - ” he tries to begin, but words leave his mind when he sees Beelzebub sitting on the bed, eyes swollen and puffy. 

“We’ve been talking,” says Gabrielle, and her voice is scratchy, like she’s done a lot of crying, “and we have to do it. For our parents, the kingdoms, everybody - we have to.”

Beelzebub sniffles and leans their head against Gabrielle’s shoulder. Gabrielle presses a kiss to the top of it. 

“You understand, don’t you, Aziraphale?” asks Gabrielle. “That this is the way it has to be? Me and Bee behind closed doors, and you and I in front of them?”

Aziraphale’s heart sinks.

“Yes, of course,” he says. 

And he does. He understands. He just wishes that it weren’t this way.

*

Aziraphale’s wedding day dawns bright and early. He feels wretched.

“Oh, I remember how nervous I was on my wedding day!” blusters his father. Aziraphale wants to laugh but doesn’t and instead wistfully imagines what it’d be like if it was just nerves. 

The hours before the ceremony pass quickly. Aziraphale hates all of them. He feels like his skin doesn’t feel quite right. He feels like he’s trapped in a nightmare. He feels guilty for feeling like he feels.

It’s awful.

And then he’s getting manhandled over to his post next to the altar, and there are so many people in the room, all staring at him, that his palms get sweaty, and he thinks absently that poor Gabrielle is going to have to hold onto clammy palms while she makes vows that are going to quietly ruin both their lives.

And then she’s marching down the aisle, resplendent in her ludicrously expensive dress. She’s smiling, but Aziraphale can see how empty it is. 

How is this happening? he wonders wildly. (Funny how three years of resignation have evaporated so quickly and thoroughly.)

The priest starts talking. He’s a droner. Aziraphale looks at the flowers in Gabrielle’s hair and thinks how ill they suit her, how much better some pearls would have been. Or perhaps some gems. 

And then the priest says ‘does anyone object to this union?’ and a small voice says ‘I do’ and all hell breaks loose.

*

Hours later, after a lot of shouting and quite a few tears and an absolutely exhausting meeting with some lawyers, Bee and Gabrielle are on their honeymoon and Aziraphale is in his room, feeling thoroughly wrung out.

What a day.

There’s a tap on the door and he wants to shout at whomever it is but the knock was so timid and he finds himself saying, “Come in.”

A caterer with bright red hair sticks his head in the door.

“Hope I’m not, ah, interrupting,” he says, and the poor dear sounds incredibly nervous and Aziraphale is still drained but he has the wherewithal to soothe someone’s nerves. 

“Not in the slightest,” he says. “Come in, come in.”

“Well,” says the person, backing into the room, and pulling a trolley behind him, “I thought you might want something to nibble on.”

Aziraphale stares.

There’s a feast laid out on the trays - all his favourite dishes, and several perfect desserts, and a bottle of Château Pétrus, and he finds himself tearing up a little.

“Oh, nonono!” says the server, clearly panicked, already starting to wheel it away. “Never mind! I’m sorry! I just thought - it’s been a long day for you and, y’know, sustenance - ”

“It’s perfect,” says Aziraphale, not bothering to hide how shaky his voice is. “Thank you, my dear.”

“Oh,” says the caterer, sounding relieved. “Oh, thank goodness.”

And he wheels it back up beside Aziraphale’s bed. 

“How did you know all of my favourites?” asks Aziraphale, slightly awed. It really - everything on that tray is something he wants to eat. 

“Just, uh, asked,” says the caterer. “In the kitchens. Y’know.”

Aziraphale is starting to, judging by the bright redness of the person’s cheeks and the nearly palpable anxiousness radiating off of him. 

“May I ask your name?” he asks, sitting up and reaching for a biscuit.

“Anthony J. Crowley,” says the person automatically, “but I mostly go by Crowley.”

“Well, Crowley,” says Azirpahale, not missing the way the blush deepens when he says Crowley’s name, “this is absolutely delightful. Thank you.”

“No worries,” says Crowley, starting to back away. “Thanks. To you. For, er, appreciating it.”

“Anyone around here can tell you that I always appreciate a good meal,” says Aziraphale, “and might I persuade you to join me, Crowley? There’s more than enough for two, and some company sounds delightful.”

Your company sounds delightful, he adds in his head, but they just met and he won’t be rushing things, thank you very much.

“Oh,” says Crowley, surprised. “I don’t - uh - maybe - ”

“If you’re busy, I understand,” says Aziraphale quickly, trying not to dwell on how disappointed the thought makes him. “You’ve already indulged me more than enough for one evening.”

“Oh, well,” says Crowley, and he’s stopped moving towards the door, at least. “I don’t - I’m not on duty anymore. Got nothing else on. If you really wanted - ”

“I do!” says Aziraphale, because he really does.

“Not sure it’s exactly proper protocol, inviting the help to eat with you,” says Crowley, scanning Aziraphale’s face for signs that he really means what he’s saying. Aziraphale feels a rush of fondness.

“I’m not sure either,” says Aziraphale, “but it hasn’t exactly been a day for protocol, has it?”

“It hasn’t, has it?” says Crowley, and draws up a chair.

Aziraphale watches him pick at a salad and listens to his account of the panic in the kitchens when it seemed that no one would be attending the feast and feels excited by the possibilities and grateful for what he already has.

It’s been a long time since he’s felt this way.

It’s a good feeling.

[calligraphist-artemisia]

Harry Potter and the Best Summer (4 | Friendship)

Summary: AU - canon divergence. Harry had barely been back at the Dursley’s for two weeks, when an unexpected visitor arrived at the door. He quickly finds himself spirited away back to the wizarding world and learns some secrets that have long been kept from him.

A sequel to Of Family and Unexpected Friendship. Also posted on AO3 under the username Kishirokitsune.

And for anyone who’s interested, I made a Harry Potter discord server! Introducing, Virtu Alley! (like “virtually”, get it?) Feel free to pop by and chat if you’d like. (https://discord.gg/AUq3eXY)

- - - - - - - 

4 | Friendship

Hermione was worried.

How could she not be, after each letter she sent to Harry went unanswered? She even checked with Ron and got a response back the same day saying that he hadn't heard from their friend either. Two weeks was simply too long to not hear from him, especially after he promised to write.

She worried her lower lip as she reread the same paragraph in her book for the fifth time.

If she didn't hear from him soon, she would have to find a way to meet up with Ron and his family. Or perhaps Leona would have better advice for what to do. There had to be someone who could help find out what was wrong – because something was very clearly wrong.

Hermione wasn't blind to the signs of abuse her friend exhibited. He never said a word, but she noticed the way he kept his head down and didn't ask their professors any questions. She noticed the ill-fitting muggle clothing that belonged to someone much bigger than Harry. She noticed how thin and small he was. The tape that one held his glasses together until she fixed them with a simple reparo. How he remained behind during the holidays and mentioned more than once how he wished he could stay at Hogwarts over the summer.

“Is everything alright, sweetheart? You've been glaring at your book for some time,” Mrs. Granger remarked.

Hermione glanced up, a little startled to find both of her parents sitting with her at the kitchen table. She hadn't heard either of them come into the room.

Before her letter, she had been exceptionally close to her parents. She could talk to them about nearly anything and they would understand – they were the closest she had to friends, as she had trouble relating to anyone her own age. And then her letter came and opened her eyes up to an entirely new world for her to explore, but it was a world that her parents would never fully understand. Suddenly, whenever she went to talk about her new textbooks or interesting details she had read, they both struggled to keep up.

They still cared. Hermione would never think otherwise. But there was a wedge forming between them brought about by her magic and she had spent the past two weeks trying to figure out how to bridge that gap when she wasn't worrying about Harry.

“It's my friend, Harry,” she admitted cautiously. “He hasn't written to any of us even though he promised he would and I'm concerned something might be wrong.”

“It could just be that he's been busy...” Mr. Granger trailed off as he took in the expression on his daughter's face.

Mrs. Granger reached across the table and gently squeezed Hermione's hand. “Is there any way we can help? Do you want to talk about it?”

“Harry lives with his Aunt and Uncle and... I don't think they treat him nicely. He's never said anything about it. Not really. But he's smaller than I am and I've seen the muggle clothing he wore when we returned from Hogwarts. It's like it was meant for someone three-times his size!” Hermione let the words flow, knowing her parents would be able to keep up with her train of thought. She bulldozed her way through her concerns, glad for the chance to rant, and when she was done both of her parents looked pensive.

“You're certain about all of this? Child abuse is a serious claim, Hermione,” reminded Mr. Granger.

Hermione nodded.

Knowing that they were taking her seriously, she gave them all of the details she knew about Vernon and Petunia Dursley and hoped that it would be enough to make some sort of change in her friend's life. Her parents left her alone once she finished and Hermione went back to her book, only to be interrupted a few minutes later by a persistent tap against the window.

She looked up.

Perched on the stand her parents placed specifically for owls was a wide-eyed bird with tall ears and an orange-brown face. White spots dotted its brown chest.

Hermione felt a flash of disappointment that it wasn't Hedwig but still stood to allow it inside. It hooted softly as it stepped up onto her arm and then stuck out its leg so she could open the attached capsule and remove a letter, which magically expanded back to its full size once it was in her hand.

She carried the owl over to the perch she bought and gave it a treat before settling back at the table to examine her letter.

The envelope was sealed with a thin layer of blue wax and stamped with a crest bearing a dog – maybe a greyhound? It seemed familiar, but Hermione couldn't place where she'd seen it before, so she cautiously broke the seal and pulled out the letter, her eyes scanning over unfamiliar handwriting before she actually took in any of the words.

To Miss Hermione Granger,

My name is Aquarius Black and I'm writing to you for Harry. We think he has a block on his mail, which is why you have not heard from him this summer and why he has not received any of your letters. To get around this, I'm writing instead.

Harry is here with me and Leona and our family and will not be going back to his muggle relatives. You can write to him at Oakstone Manor, but for now you should address your letters to Leona until we find out what's blocking Harry's mail.

There's a lot going on right now, but Leona says you're welcome to join us at the manor in a week or two. Hopefully by then Harry will be able to send you a letter without our help.

Sincerely,

Aquarius Lily Black

P.S. The owl is named Butternut and she is a long-eared owl. She'll wait until you're ready to send a letter back, since Harry says you don't have one of your own.

Harry was alright.

He was safe and with Leona and her family.

A weight lifted from Hermione's shoulders as she reread the letter from Aquarius, belatedly recalling that Leona had mentioned something about having a little sister.

It was strange that Harry's mail was blocked, especially considering he hadn't had that problem while he was at school. Maybe that was what Aquarius meant when she said they had “a lot going on”. Well, that and getting custody over Harry, which couldn't be as easy as picking him up and refusing the return him to his Aunt and Uncle.

Hermione looked over at Butternut the owl, who was happily settling down for a nap after her long flight. She would write a letter back in a while, but first Hermione needed to tell her parents what happened.

She stood up and hurried away to find them.

- - - - - - - 

With every ounce of the famed Gryffindor courage that he possessed, Harry knocked on Remy's office door and waited until she welcomed him inside before opening the door. As he looked around, he found it was nothing like what he expected an office to look like and yet, at the same time, exactly what he expected.

A massive bookcase made up an entire wall of the room, filled to the brim with books of varying sizes as well as unusual orbs and other items. A desk was pushed up against the opposite side and had its own shelves on either side of it, which contained everything a person would ever need to write a letter. A plush amber rug patterned with roses rested in the center of the room. And opposite the door was a tea table with two chairs, which allowed for a view over the side yard.

Remy was seated at the table.

“You wanted to see me?” Harry asked, unable to shake the feeling of being called to the teacher's office to explain some imagined “misbehavior”. (Which usually had something to do with whatever excuse the Dursley's invented to explain why he lived with them.)

Remy gestured to the empty seat with a smile. “Come join me.”

The smile did little to ease his fears and Harry had to take a moment to remind himself that Remy was Leona's mum and that she wasn't anything like his family or the teachers he dealt with while growing up. He couldn't imagine what she wanted to talk to him about. Unless...

Harry swallowed as he sat down.

He'd known it was all too good to be true. Remy and Andromeda already had a house full and it was one thing to invite him to stay for one summer, but taking him in permanently was something far different.

“I want to apologize, Harry.”

He closed his eyes, already accepting what he knew he was about to hear.

“I can't help but feel as though I've failed you as your magical guardian. First by allowing my grief to overcome me so badly that I never tried to check in on you until it was too late and then in not insisting on being allowed to visit. And in failing you, I failed James and Lily,” Remy said softly.

Harry dared to look up, disbelief keeping him from speaking. He wasn't getting sent away...?

“On top of that, today I learned that Sirius has been innocent all along and I allowed myself to get swept right back up into my grief, never thinking to stop and ask you how you feel about all of this.” Remy paused for a moment to lift her eyes and look at him. “Andromeda mentioned you didn't ask many questions about your Inheritance test. Is there anything you wanted to talk about?”

Harry shrugged. He had plenty of questions, but no idea where to start with any of it.

Remy was quiet for a moment, giving him plenty of time to speak up, and then began to explain their plans for the next week. “We received a letter from Madam Bones saying that Sirius is no longer in Azkaban and is in a Ministry holding cell instead. He's being treated by a team of hand-picked Healers to make sure he's ready to stand trial at the end of the week. We won't be allowed to visit until then.

“While we wait, Ted had a few suggestions to make sure no one has real reason to fight my claim as magical guardian. You'll need to make a trip to St. Mungo's to get the core block cleared up and so they can examine the damage left by your scar. Ted thinks the block made it so your magic couldn't respond to the injury effectively and that it'll be an easy fix, but it's always better to be careful. While you're there, you'll also get a basic check-up and they'll make sure you're up-to-date on magical vaccinations. If it's alright with you, we have already scheduled that for tomorrow.”

Harry nodded in agreement. He didn't see any reason not to.

“Excellent,” Remy said, her smile returning. “Now, I know you said you don't have any questions, but I thought we could review your Inheritance test. There are a few things Leona is unlikely to have had time to teach you yet.”

Harry sat up a little straighter as she removed a folded up copy of his test from her pocket and smoothed it out over the table. The name Slytherin beckoned to him but he remained quiet.

“House Inheritance is always listed in order of importance,” she said, beginning at the bottom of the list. “House Potter, while well-respected in our society, is only a Noble House. In terms of power, it means it carries a single vote within the Wizengamot. Have you heard much about what the Wizengamot does, Harry?”

He had to think for a moment. “They... make laws?”

“It is the lawmaking body of the British magical community,” Remy confirmed. “As I was saying, House Potter carries one vote. Next is House Peverell, which is a Noble and Most Ancient House. While no one carries the surname any longer, there are those in higher circles who have always remained aware that the main line married into the Potter family. James was a Peverell Heir as well, though he never had time to take up the Lordship with the war going on.” She paused for a moment. “Noble and Most Ancient Houses carry three votes within the Wizengamot. For several hundred years, they have held the most voting power.”

Remy slid her finger up to Slytherin. “The Founder Houses earned the title Noble and Ancient long after their lines faded away. Despite only being Noble and Ancient, which in most cases allowed for two votes, they have four votes within the Wizengamot.”

“What does the part after it mean? The conquest thing?” Harry blurted out.

Remy didn't appear at all bothered by the interruption. “It's a rare form of bloodline transfer. It only occurs when the last members of two bloodlines meet each other in battle with the intent to kill. We believe Voldemort-” (She shuddered as she spoke the name.) “-was the last remaining Heir of Slytherin. When he turned his wand onto you and his magic rebounded, Magic passed along the line of Slytherin to you.”

“So we're not related?” Harry had to double-check.

“No,” Remy said, shaking her head. “Perhaps distantly; most purebloods are related in some way, but it wouldn't be closely.”

That was the most relieving thing Harry had heard since Leona said he wouldn't have to go back to the Dursley's. The very thought of being related to Voldemort...

Harry clenched his hand into the fabric of his too-large pants. “Do I have to be the Heir?”

“Well, I don't think you have to announce it to everyone,” Remy said slowly. “When you turn seventeen you'll take the Inheritance test again to see if any other lines have accepted you and then you'll be given your Lordship rings. Even if magic declares you the Heir to a line, the family magics may still reject your claim to Lordship. After that, however, it won't be something you can hide.”

Privately, Harry hoped the magic of Slytherin would reject him and he wouldn't have to be Heir or Lord.

“On to your final House...” Remy moved her finger to the top of the list. “The Royal House of Emrys, of Merlin himself.”

Even though he already knew that Emrys was the House of Merlin, Harry still shivered as he realized he was heir to one of the most powerful magical Houses in Britain.

“I can't say that I understand all of it myself, but I wasn't born into any kind of Noble or Ancient House,” Remy admitted. “The one thing I do know is that Magic Herself chose you to be Heir of that line.”

“What does that mean?” Harry asked.

“Historically, it means that change is coming. Where one Royal House shows up, the others quickly follow,” Remy told him. “But you don't need to worry about any of that right now. We'll take this one step at a time, starting with your family House.”

Harry nodded. He already felt better after listening to her explain a few things. And she hadn't reacted poorly when he asked questions, instead seeming happy to answer each one. “So what about the, um, recessive lines?”

Remy looked delighted by the question and slowly took the time to talk a little about each one. House Evans was started by Lily, of course, as the first of her name. It was likely to be a matriarchal line which would pass to any of Harry's daughters, if he had any.

House Larkspur also came through Lily and was a very old House whose last member passed away nearly three-hundred years prior. They were once famed for their production of blue inks derived from the flower for which they were named. Remy further explained that Lily came into the inheritance through a squib ancestor.

And the last was House Eerie, an Ancient House that merged with Peverell in the 1600s. The title had been a dormant one since then, with no one being named Heir nor Lord. It was unlikely that Harry would be granted to title either, but the fact that it remained strong enough in their bloodline that it routinely appeared in the Inheritance tests meant that one day the Ancient House would return to its former glory.

Harry lost track of time as he sat and listened to Remy talk. He didn't hesitate to ask questions as they came to mind, helped along by the fact that his new guardian never once made him feel as though he wasn't allowed.

“I was wondering about my core. Leona said there would be things she couldn't teach me because the Potter's are a Light family, but my test says that have a Dark core,” Harry said.

Remy thought for a moment. “That... I'm unsure about. It's true that House Potter has always had Light leanings, but I don't believe it's a requirement. Sirius would know for certain. He was informally adopted by your grandparents when he was sixteen. Was there something specific you wanted to know about your core orientation?”

“I-I guess I was just wondering... I mean, isn't Dark magic bad?” Harry asked hesitantly.

“Unfortunately, that is not a question that can be answered with a simple yes or no, but I can tell you that having a Dark core does not make you a bad person. With the exception of Ted, who has a Gray core, everyone living here in Oakstone is Dark,” Remy said.

“You too?” Harry asked in surprise.

Remy nodded. “Me too. It's not typical of the Lupin family, but... there are extenuating circumstances...”

For the first time, Harry thought she looked uneasy.

“There's something you should know about me if you want to stay here. It's part of the reason why I never tried to fight for custody of you. Why no one wanted to listen when I protested Sirius' arrest at first.

“I'm a werewolf.”

The word drew up stories of full moons and wolf-like creatures hunting in dark forests in search of prey. Harry hadn't stopped to think that maybe some of the muggle ghost-stories he grew up hearing other kids talk about might have some sort of truth to them in the wizarding world and he wished that he paid more attention to them.

Looking at Remy, he couldn't see her as a bloodthirsty monster however, there was no reason for her to lie about something like that. So she was a werewolf. But what did that mean in the wizarding world?

Judging by the way Remy was acting it wasn't a good thing. It was enough to stop anyone from listening to her about serious matters, but not enough for them to take Leona and Aquarius out of her care. Would it be something that would nullify her guardianship of him? Or...

“Did my parents know?” he asked.

“They did,” Remy confirmed. “Your father figured it out fairly early on in school but didn't confront me about it until our third year. As for Lily, she never said when she found out. I think I mentioned in my letters how I never got to know your mother until our final two years. I remember vividly the first time she made a joke about it – calling it my 'furry little problem' with such ease that I wouldn't have caught on if it weren't for James and Sirius. They thought it was hilarious, of course, and referred to my condition in that way ever since.”

Harry did his best to gather his thoughts before saying anything else. “Okay, so you're a werewolf. And my mum and dad knew. And everyone here?”

“Leona and Aquarius have known since they were old enough to understand what it meant. I want to assure you, Harry, that I take every precaution possible during the full moon. Ted isn't a master, but as a healer, he has some skill in potions, and he brews me the Wolfsbane potion every month. It helps me keep my human mind so that I don't try to attack anyone. I also leave for a cottage that exists behind a number of protective wards designed to keep me in and everyone else out. I would never put you or anyone else in danger,” Remy said quickly.

Harry thought he'd much rather take the risk of being in a house with a werewolf than go back to the Dursley's, especially when said werewolf actually cared about his well-being. So he shrugged and turned his attention back to his Inheritance test, completely missing the shocked expression that came across Remy's face.

“So what about these abilities? Parseltongue is the snake language one, right? Does that mean dragonspeak is talking to actual dragons?”

“I- er, yes,” Remy said, her voice a little strained. “Dragonspeak is an incredibly rare ability. I'm afraid not much is known about it, but I'll be glad to help you research, if you'd like.”

Harry nodded and their conversation continued on, lightly covering the topic of the properties and vaults which he inherited - “You'll learn more about those through Gringotts.” - and then onto stories about his parents. Neither seemed to notice exactly how much time had passed until Andromeda knocked on the door to inform them that it was nearing midnight and that they had another busy day ahead of them.

Harry crawled into bed with thoughts of his parents and their friends, back when times were peaceful and easy.