#i feel very scatterbrained rn i have a lot going on

[wereh0gz]

I've been thinking abt opening comms soon and how to do it. I'll be old enough for a paypal soon so I might be able to open them by june or july. I've also seen ppl use ko-fi but idk how that one works so I'll have to look into it more

[shukakumoodboard]

*Pulls out my massive bag of money and jewels and blow* I’m your biggest fan so I must pick your brain now that you have a tumblr ask box. your finest gaalee romance hcs my good sir. Please

help.

I’m your biggest fan

did you know im crying ab this. kissing u on the face rn

ok gaalee romance headcanons. i've been thinking about this for days. grab ur mojito mix lets frockign gaur

ill be upfront in that i have very few i'll-die-on-this-hill opinions about the boys, but here's some i'm pretty stuck to <3

sfw headcanons

1. lee's better with words, gaara's better with actions, and they're both secretly envious of the other for it: my thoughts here are that gaara spent so much of his life not understanding love that he'd still struggle to articulate it in flowery ways that i think, as a born theatre kid, lee would be good at. but gaara would absolutely be that person who shows it in subtle ways -- like taking care of someone when sick, remembering food preferences, always ensuring lee takes care of himself when lee forgets or is busy having a self-flagellation moment. not that i think lee would be incompetent, but he strikes me as more of a scatterbrain, but would always be on top of verbal reassurances and affection (which i also think is what gaara would benefit from: clear straightforward declarations of feelings and intent)

2. they're both super cuddly in private look, you put together a touch-starved former monster vessel and a social outcast who mostly knows touch from violence (until gai) and you are going to get some clinginess imo. you can't convince me they're not the kind of people who would sit side by side at the dinner table so they can eat holding hands. bro (emotional)

3. they're probably actually really shit at "conventional" dating hear me out ok. they're like initially so far away and gaara is the whole president and lee kicked a meteor in half one time you think they can just wander around and go to restaurants? it's absolutely nonsense that shinobi don't suffer village celebrity paparazzi syndrome in nart tbh. not exactly the same but i have a whole wip in the bort-verse about them sneaking around. tldr i'd bet they sometimes get casual breakfast or dinner but i think more likely takeout and quiet time together as opposed to like fancy dates

4. language learning and hobbying as a form of devotion as a purveyor of my wares u may notice i have language headcanons. it is also my gaalee romance hc that they learn each others -- i've incorporated this into in the space between and a wip called multilingual, which is all about nejiten teasing lee about his crush on gaara in front of the man. i also think that lee would lean into gaara's gardening stuff with gusto because if it's something gaara loves, lee would want to love it too.

nsfw headcanons huehuehuhe

1. they're switches and i WILL die on this hill i think this is self explanatory but listen. listen i am SIQUE of the assigned top/bottom nonsense they both deserve to rail and also be railed. i may be the resident owner of the Rock Lee Fucks tag on AO3 but i also own the Gaara Fucks tag. ill kill a man over this

2. lee is absolutely a service anything this ties into the previous one. a big component of his canonical personality is that he's a disciple of gai -- he's a follower who bases a lot of himself around those he cares for. not the kind of person who is suddenly going to crop up with an intensely specific preference, imo? i think he would base his role on whatever his partner needs the most at the time.

3. rock lee's canonically huge dick ok lol listen. listen this one's canon jokes aside i think lee is hung as detailed in We Don't Talk About Fight Club and i will continue that joke. that being said i think normal hung. not arizona tea can hung which is a hilariously illustrated discord joke

4. tbh i think they're kinda vanilla in the bedroom i say this in a positive way i think they'd be far more into like, just being able to be with each other instead of getting into wild sexual mischief all over the villages although they definitely bone in weird places secretly. they Fuck, but like i don't see them as super kinksters or anything. however, i have seen many a kinkfic that im like nodding my head this is valid cakesitting bdsm what who said that

5. gaara's vaguely nebulous oral fixation i really have no justification for this one i just think some of those animal bijuu instincts might linger and turn into what that mouth do idk i keep going to write smut and whoops my whole body slipped and gaara's licking something. happened in fight club and fight club II, happened in hole time, happened in tgod, happens in at least two wips i have cookin' in the background... what is goin on actually

dkghkdf i hope you enjoyed this episode of kel's questionable headcanons. i really enjoyed answering, thank you so much for the ask <3

[wheeboo]

— bias tag game *ੈ✩‧₊˚

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10. then answer the questions below! try not to look at the questions before you make your list!

thank you @fairyhaos for the tag <3

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

rania's bias list:

seungkwan (svt)

wheein (mamamoo)

jeonghan (svt)

wonwoo (svt)

hoshi (svt)

jun (svt)

seulgi (red velvet)

yunjin (le sserafim)

soobin (txt)

lee know (skz)

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

1. between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

i biased my girl seulgi first :> i started stanning red velvet in between peek-a-boo and bad boy era and i literally love her sm i gay panic whenever i see her and she's so cute and quirky i fell in love instantly !!!

2. between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

umm,,, how dare u give me this question rn. wheein has been my ult for the past 5-6 years and i feel like i can declare us as a v chill married couple lmfao and i love her w all my heart. but tbh jun has grown so much on me and finally putting him in my bias line is just ugh <3 <3 got my heart flippin and feet kickin (it doesn't help i have like,, a lot of ideas for him in terms of wips)

3. if you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

again... what the hell U R MAKING ME CHOOSE BETWEEN MY TOP BIASES IN SVT?? absolute insanity. ugh,, okay jeonghan ily babe but i gotta go with my fav boy seungkwan <3 i feel like he'll take me out of my comfort zone n just take me out to places n just be the most supportive person ever. like i can imagine our arms locked together while walking down the avenue or sum idfk

4. what is your favorite physical feature about 9?

his MF DIMPLES OFC. i have such a thing w dimples on my biases its actually so funny

5. what is your favorite part of 6's personality?

i just,, i love jun's quirkiness and awkwardness sometimes i always swoon over him <3 he may be quiet at times but he's such a big source of strength for not just me but for all his members. i get why they all love him sm

6. if you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

my gf yunjin KEEP BEING YOU MA'AM. do whatever you want that makes you happy. you're such a big inspo to me and so funny and talented and beautiful and all those synonyms i cannot grasp how much i love her

7. between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

ohhhhh definitely wheein. our styles r very similar and honestly she's the reason why my style is like this to this day!! she has such unique fashion taste and omfg i'd love to raid clothing stores w her. altho i'd rlly love to steal some of seungkwan's sweaters,,,,...

8. what is a style that you want to see 3 try?

omfgomfg uhhh honestly jeonghan can literally pull off any damn style he wants, and im too scatterbrained rn to think of a specific style. i love his soft boy looks tho n the style/clothing he wore in berlin got me feeling some type of way yk IT SUITS HIM SO MUCH

9. between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

hoshi LMAOO even tho there's barely a difference between him and wonu. they'll both still tower over me tho im only like 158cm fml

10. between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

soobin n txt! i love their discography so much. some of skz songs r just not my style and i can rlly only listen to them when i'm feeling that kind of energy yk. still love them tho ofc

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

tagging (no pressure!): @slytherinshua @itadorins @hannyoontify @wqnwoos @icyminghao @etherealyoungk @blue-jisungs @mirxzii @yeonjuns-redhair @rubywonu @ylliris-hanniehae @rubyreduji @toruro @weird-bookworm @planetkiimchi

[vitaminwaterreviews]

S.E.S. - Remember

I’m actually really impressed by this album, too. The opening track was crazy, one of the only songs I’ve heard in this entire project that truly wowed me. The average quality of the music was very high, even the slow jams were enjoyable. Funnily enough I think the last song was the worst-produced of the bunch, and that’s probably the track that required the most production. But regardless, good default sound. The jazz parts were really really good. It is amazing how even with different mixing and production, they still sound SO S.E.S., Bada’s voice really is that distinct, and their songwriters really did have a style. Average score of 7.6, very solid.

Candy Lane

Oooh nice jazz vibes

Okay, here’s the horns

I hear those bells too

This is nice, this is So nice

Dude these vocals are like candy to my ears

The scatting!!! Oh my god

I’m literally laughing rn this is SO good

“And jingle all the way” what is this, Christmas music?

It is snowing outside rn

Actually it kind of does feel Christmassy, I was thinking more like “Penny Lane” at first but I could totally get Christmas out of this too

10/10 right out the gate. I’m sorry but I’ve never heard ANYTHING like this in kpop before. What a song, my god. Also I do love Christmas music so maybe I’m biased

Remember

Black and white moving towards color, that’s nice filmmaking

Mkay, we got some anthemic epic vibes going on

Actually this song feels kind of OST to me so far

7/10, solid song, not my style

Paradise

Mkay, now we’re a bit funkier

Haha peep the vintage cars

Oh okay we get a proper rap section here

That was honestly pretty good, nicely done

Damn they really did just break that bowl

Oh my god that shot where she’s painting is so cool wow

8/10, maybe a bit high but it impressed me

Birthday

Kind of a mellow piano line underneath some Big bass

Now we’ve got vocals, guitar

Really really thicc soundscape, I like it

The second verse feels a lot less full for some reason, which can’t be true. So maybe I’ve just gotten used to it

The “just right now” section was nice

Give me a good bridge

Meh, decent bridge ig

7/10

My Rainbow

Such pretty vocals

This is super slow jammy but it sounds nice regardless

The synth during the bridge is kinda odd

Actually, this whole album does sound kinda OST somehow

7/10

Hush

Super duper synthy, wow, I don’t think we’ve heard anything remotely acoustic yet

Okay the bass is acoustic-ish

I love this timbre of their vocals, quiet and breathy

Woahhh these harmonies post-chorus, gorgeous

This is a good song to add to the list of kpop songs called “Hush”. And actually it sounds the most like “hush”

8/10

Apparently these next three are remakes of former singles, but I don’t think I’ve heard any of their original versions yet?

Life

Actually, kinda getting Christmas vibes from this one

Nice orchestral instrumentation

And then it all goes away

Wow what a tiny voice she has

Oh okay, now we’re all hype

Haha what

This is so show-tuney

I feel like I’d enjoy this way more if I knew the lyrics

8/10, very good, not quite a 9

The Light

Opening with some vocal flexing, pop off girl

Admittedly I am kind of distracted, I’ve got an eye on the score of Fulham-Wolves and it’s the 90+11th minute and I’m desperately begging for Wolves to salvage a point here

The song isn’t really my type either way though, standard slow jam stuff

Those vocal runs are actually crazy though, they’re using her voice well

Damn, ended 3-2, Wolves robbed. Poor guys.

6/10, yeah I know I was distracted but that song is not for me

Love [story]

Now we get more vocal flexing, but the beat is a bit happier

The pre-chorus is cool

Not totally convinced by the chorus, second time through. I feel like the vocals aren’t used very well here

The bridge is nice

Here we go, here’s the rap verse we wanted

Damn they really just shouted out all their old songs like that

Oh ok, suddenly it’s Actually ‘Cause I’m Your Girl haha

I think I remember this, yeah

7/10, felt way too scatterbrained and the good parts weren’t totally good enough. But I appreciate what they were going for

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 9/17/2022:

I feel like I have been a huge scatterbrain all week, at least as far as writing/art has been going. I think it’s because I’ve been reading a lot-- I finished all the canon Murderbot content that is available, and I don’t know what I thought I was gonna do about Nona, but the day it dropped I mentioned to Mr P that it had dropped that day and he was like Are we buying it or what???? and then immediately bought it, so anyway, I have been eyeballs deep in that ever since. (the nice thing about ebooks is that you can buy one copy and then you don’t have to fight over it). Oh, also there, was new Bake Off, so now I have a Thing To Look Forward to every week again, which...seems to be the case for the near future? It looks like it’s going to be a really good season.

I also made tomato paste, which reduced 5lb of garden tomatoes in to 6.5oz of future pizza sauce (tbf, that’s like 7 pizzas! A whole winter of pizzas!) I also made brownies today out of some almond flour I wanted to use up. Not sure how they’re gonna be, we haven’t eaten them yet. 

ANYWAY, 1487 words on the ol’ tattoo artist au (up to 34650), which I did manage to post, so we’re up to date now. I know I said that I was trying not to get distracted, but I had a Mighty Urge to go work on the Ductwork story and then proceeded, not to write anything new, but to expand on an already completely unnecessary aside about the stupid East Rukongai trainline. We will see what happens this week, I told you I was a scatterbrain.

I also very much did start an artwork and it is...going...so...painfully...slowly. I have been going very carefully with it, because I want the first part of it to be very good. I have been using a lot of references, to the degree where I just get mad at myself, because if you spend a gazillion hours trying to get something to look like the reference, are you better than a person who traces? I don’t know! Art is dumb and I don’t remember how to do it, and who even cares, anyway, we’re talking about, like, an ankle, not the entire thing. Also, I am constantly picking stupidly complicated things to do, as in, full-body drawings with detailed musculature, etc. It’s just my way, I guess.

Okay, okay, that’s my checkin for the week. I think I’m just sort of in “media consumption” mode, rather than “creative production” rn, which is fine, actually, it’s good, and I’m pretty sure I was saying back at the beginning of the summer that it was something I actually needed to do to refill my own tank.  Hope you all have a great week!

[meowzfordayz]

hi T!! Wishing you a wonderful Tuesday <3 How are things going?

QOTW: what's the best compliment you've received?

p.s. I saw your replies, and I WILL get to them (and the rengoku fic). The past few weeks have been rough for me, so I'm just really behind on everything and feel so scatterbrained 🥲

Hi hi !! 💞 My Tuesday’s going alright !! I’m very sweaty at work rn, altho there was a lovely—brief—downpour ~30 mins ago. 🌧

Ohmygosh lmao that’s such a difficult q !! 😳😅 Idk about best overall, but my manager (at my ice cream job) recently told my coworker that I was 1 in a million. 😭 To clarify: I wasn’t present for the convo (my manager and coworker were small talking), and my coworker informed me of the compliment afterwards !! (I’m friends w/ this coworker, and there’re no hard feelings between us) 🥺 I’ve always been extremely proud of my work ethic, and recognition of my time and effort means a lot to me. 💖

How about you ?? 😁 Is there a genre of compliment that you most appreciate? i.e. appearance vs intellect vs personality.

Sending you homemade popsicles and finger painting vibes !! ☺️🎨

No worries and no rush !! Hope you’re hanging in there!

[nkhrchuwuya]

✨ hello! I've never interacted before but I've read all of your posts! I really love your version of chuuya, can't get enough of it! :D I hope you're all better now uwu thank you for this event I'm so excited :D

first of all I'm smoller than chuuya hehe

I consider myself an extrovert who can be very shy at first. if i manage to somehow feel comfortable w someone (as in they are warm and open to me), I become super chatty and bubbly, but I can be very quiet and reserved when I'm among a bunch of people or with someone I haven't really connected. in that case i need to warm up a bit first.

altho I love hanging out with my loved ones, I need "just-me" moments too. I like joking and making people laugh and this goofy and "witty" side of me is best seen when I chat or post insta stories, rather than irl.

I can be quite awkward when I talk with people irl. I'm super affectionate with the people I love and actually I can be quite clingy. I need constant attention and love or I start feeling insecure.

I have lots of interests (too many to keep up), that are somehow linked: animanga, asian dramas, webtoons, fantasy, books, insta poetry, linguistics and language learning, graphic design, fiction, history, sociology and whatever is grabbing my attention at the moment.

I also suffer from maladaptive daydreaming, have short attention span, but lots of focus when I shouldn't have, lots of dreams, anxieties and hopes. I often sign up for too many things at once (and regret it) but stillll there's so much to dooo and no timeeeeee

for all my easygoing attitude, I have high uncertainty avoidance: scared of talking to people I've interacted w before, hesitant of like asking informations to a stranger, worried about uni exams I'm not fully prepared for, deeply anxious about a new part time job etc.

I usually procrastinate a lot (and also a mild perfectionist, what a curse) , am disorganised and am a bit of a scatterbrain, often sleep late but! I'm doing si much better now! After I started physically attending uni, moved out and got a roommate I'm doing much better: I wake up in time, I try to study regularly, Im learning how to cook, I clean after myself uwu

I think this means that when I'm somehow in a situation where I should be responsible (got a roommate, living away from home) I really try to do my best. so proud of myself rn! I'm also in this w my bffs so we helping each other become better

sadly for chuchu I don't drink at all! I would also wait a long time to do the full snu snu, until I feel like this person is here to stay. light snu snu is okay hehe. I'm also a bit lazy and while I like visiting new places and all I get tired of traveling and I don't like "being a tourist" (as in, walking a lot, going from one place to the other, taking lots of pictures, guided tours and all that jazz). I like to do things at my own pace and feel cozy :D

I hope this helps!

:D anon

hi dear!! ✨ thank you so much for taking part in our little event! it's lovely to hear from long-time readers like you🥺 i'm doing much better than before, although still not quite well, thank you for asking!

here's a little bit of your chuuya for you!

i won't even get into detail about how much chuuya loves that he's the slightest bit taller than you. it activates his protection mode- and he sure loves being in that mode when he's around you.

chuuya isn't quick to figure out your innate need for attention/affection- he just thinks you're clingy for a bit and would indulge you while he can and then he's gone off to work again. it would take you opening up to him and having a genuine conversation for him to actually get it in his head, but after that don't worry, he's at your side as much as possible. when he can't, he's texting or calling you. there's never a day you'll feel once that he doesn't care about you.

he absolutely loves your humor! granted you did say it comes out mostly when you chat or on your insta stories but he definitely has an appreciation of it even beyond the screen. especially if it’s derived from all the varied interests you have? you’ve got chuuya hooked. you've just got a spark of joy in you that's hard to find in other people that draws chuuya to you.

if you need him to catch you at times when your uncertainty avoidance gets too much, don't fret because he won't mind doing it for you. but chuuya's more of a proactive person hismelf, so there are occasions where instead of fully taking the responsibility, he'll be, instead, by your side and making sure you don't feel alone as you face your own anxiety on your own!

chuuya has absolutely no idea at first what to do with your maladaptive daydreaming. but once he figures out the ropes he's there for you all the time. need to be more engaged and grounded in reality? he's there, holding you down. need to go to therapy for it or would rather talk to a doctor? he's bringing you to the clinic himself. he'll learn your triggers (if any) and make sure to keep you out of them when possible. it'll take a bit for him to figure it out, but once he does, he's your best ally.

he watches you work on yourself and get better and handling the daily routine, and is super proud of you for every step you're taking in the right direction. he's there to help you whenever you stumble, but for the most part he just loves being able to sit back and watch you slowly get better at avoiding procrastination, studying, sleeping, etc. etc!

related to that, he's definitely going to be super thankful once you've moved in with him and can help him with that kind of regulation. it's not that he can't do it on his own, just sometimes he also deeply struggles with it, especially with mafia work, and to be able to have someone by his side who can help him is a big plus for him.

he'll be fine with you not drinking, he's always got a bottle of a nonalcoholic drink for you to enjoy while he's getting tipsy. but this is only for when you're at home! if you're outside, say, on a dinner, he'll refrain from drinking because he'd rather not have to be a burden on you when he gets drunk. don't worry, it doesn't dampen the experience one bit, because he loves just being with you to begin with!

your extroverted side matched with a tendency to pull back when you're around others you aren't close with is something chuuya deeply appreciates- some dark part in him enjoys that he can have you all for himself in certain situations. but i think the two of you will still be a great match because chuuya absolutely needs someone to ground him as well, and also to stop his little alcohol problem 😂

[daisylore-au]

yoooo i have so much brainrot for this entire au but especially for the twins Helga and James. idk they're just really interesting to me probably cuz of my TFTSMP hyperfixation- and bring up a lot of questions. I noticed you named them after characters that both appeared in TFTSMP at some point which was a cool detail!! so if its alright im gonna ask a lot of questions about them probably sdfghgfd. One thing i wondered is if their parents know they can time travel or no, or even just karl knows? and if they'd ever possibly come across each other and be like 'hey wait a minute you shouldn't be here.' also i think you mentioned one of them has more controlled time travel abilities than the other and i was wondering how they're different? and like karl would either of them have memory problems or other side effects? sorry for the long and disorganized ask hgfdfghj (also anon isnt on and idk if that was on purpose or not)

I LOVE THE TWINS SO MUCH !!!! tales from the smp is such a cool series and i take so much inspiration from it for my own projects and writing, so i had to include nods to it :D

(and yes of course :D the more questions the better bc i’m hyperfixated on this au rn and this helps LMAO)

under cut for length !!

who knows about the kids’ time travel? very few people: including their parents. sapnap was worried about the kids being able to time travel, but since they haven’t shown any overt signs of being able to do so, the three of them have just sort of come to the agreement of “we’ll cross that bridge if we get to it” - as far as they’re concerned, they’re sure a) they haven’t inherited it, and b) if they have, it won’t manifest properly until they’re older. 

karl does suspect - he’s always been worried about the imaginative stories the twins would tell when asked what they had been doing all day, and always tried to keep an overprotective eye on them (he doesn’t want the in-between OR other side meddling in his kids’ lives - he’s done his part, and as far as he sees it, his kids shouldn’t have to go through what he did). he’s not convinced helga’s ramble about roman emperors being really mean and sentencing her to death for kicking them IS a story: but whenever he asks either of them about it, they always wriggle out of it.

the server takes the lives of its occupants Very Seriously — karl had to time travel to preserve stories and stop the egg from occurring (at least in this au, that’s what i’ve decided happens LMAO), and now his kids are time travelling because the server knows they can fix things.

(has karl come across them in his travels and just forgotten? maybe. only time will tell !! )

how do the twins have different levels of abilities? it’s partly just random chance, and partly due to personality. helga has a lot more control over her time travelling because she’s a generally more confident person, while james, who is more timid/nervous, is a little jumpy when it comes to time travelling, which reflects in the control he has over it. the less you fear your ability, the easier it is to control (kinda like frozen lmao!!).

do they experience side effects of time travelling like karl? neither of their memories are properly failing yet, though they’re both pretty scatterbrained, which is partly because of the time travelling. it’s hard to remember where you left your coat when literally ten minutes ago you’d been running from dinosaurs, LMAO. 

i hope that answered your questions !!! feel free to send another ask if it didn’t sbdkskd

ALSO tysm for letting me know about anon :’) it’s on now !!! anon asks have been enabled :D

[celiaelise]

mood is 😠😰😤😭👎 blehhhhh :p

reasons for bad mood:

Money is tight; like, the most it's ever been since I moved out, through a combination of factors both in and outside of my control. (ex. I have to pay for health insurance since my birthday last year, which is a few hundred dollars each month, and I had to get some repairs on my car done recently. But also I spend way more on clothing, art and craft supplies, collectibles, home goods, etc. than is responsible, and I tend to spend more the more stressed I am.) And rent happens tomorrow, which will put me in an uncomfortable financial position...This isn't a HUGE problem, I have lots of support, most directly in the form of just asking my dad for money. But I don't want to 😓, like, he'll help me and I doubt he'll be mad, but possibly displeased, and he might ask questions that I'd prefer not to answer. (for reasons of I'm embarrassed, nothing serious) And just the whole situation has made me feel very anxious and embarrassed and bad about myself. I'm likely going to try and text my therapist about this before I go to sleep, and hope she has some guidance to offer, to help me actually go through with the asking.

P sure I mentioned I upped my ADHD med dosage on Monday, and I think it's been interfering with my sleep, and that has been negatively impacting my mood!! Very grumpy and anxious, and also I feel it's actually making me more scatterbrained? Which, like, hopefully most of this is just a matter of me adjusting in the next couple weeks, and I just have to try and cope until then.

Have not been eating very much. Meds suppress my appetite, but the worrying about money, having poor time management, and zero energy also don't help.

Obviously I am also very anxious about changing jobs!! I hate change and I know I'm going to miss these kids, and I've been stressing myself out trying to find a moment to talk to all the parents I want to talk to, to tell them what's going on and give them my contact info.

Major family social event this weekend, where I will meet some relatives for the first time, and have a chance to talk to people I rarely do. Which I am theoretically genuinely looking forward to, but knowing my current mood, I am worried I will not be able to make the most of the opportunity. Yes, I know this probably a dumb thing to worry about!

Anyway, uhhhh. This might be too much personal info to share online? But I needed to get it out lol, and there's no power running to the mental filter rn. (Unless we want to engage the whole social anxiety mechanism.) Thanks for being here! I hope y'all are all doing okay. 💕

[nomazee]

scatterbrain

bokuto koutarou x reader

word count: 2200+

content: fluff, friends-to-lovers, pining bokuto, ooc bokuto.

(i’m in such a bokuto mood rn so i wrote this!! i did NOT expect this to get this long but oops!!

bokuto is probably,,,VERY ooc in this but this is really just self-indulgent fluff!! hope you enjoy! <3)

(also!!! quick reminder!! my requests are open!! my request rules can be found linked in my navigation which is my pinned post!! feel free to request <3)

☾.:°∗★.:☆:.★∗°:.☽

contrary to popular belief, bokuto thinks. he thinks a lot. granted, a lot of his thoughts are devoid of any deep meaning, like the possibility of taming a wild owl and keeping it as a pet, or the question of whether he should get two or three meat buns after practice. 

bokuto thinks a lot. he knows this. his mind gets very cluttered sometimes with various random topics. that’s why when his mind started becoming a cohesive conversation of one solid topic, something was wrong. very wrong. 

he started thinking about you. a lot. 

when he first realized it, he figured he should look into it--find out what caused him to have his mind flooded with thoughts of you, your smile, your eyes, your hair, your hands, your voice and nose and lips--

then he realized that he already knew very well why he thought of you so often. 

almost comically, he smiled to himself and thought, “well, i guess that’s that!” and resolved to never approach the subject again. confident as he could be on the court, bokuto was sure that if he ever tried to take action about his feelings, the result was sure to be disastrous. it was best to stay away from any fantasies of his. 

that was hard to do, though, when you seemed to occupy both his thoughts and his day-to-day life. 

you were in the same class--that was just his luck--and while you weren’t an official manager you had a tendency to stop by practice and watch the boys play while chatting with yukie and kaori until it was time to go home. 

(he also often walked you to the train stop. fate really made the stars align when he didn't want them to align.)

though, he had to owe it to fate for allowing your seats to be on separate sides of class. at the very least, he had that relief from the constant pressure he applied on himself absentmindedly whenever he was in your presence. 

during lunch, bokuto sped out of the classroom door and in a direction away from the cafeteria. you seemed to notice this quite quickly and darted to chase after him. 

bokuto felt a warm, firm hand on his shoulder and the distant scent of peppermint. he cursed himself for not walking fast enough and wondered if he could jump up with enough fervor to break through the ceiling. 

“hey,” you were smiling at him as you sidled up next to him. he was thankful he had your real expression right in front of him--the gentle image in his mind was fading by the minute and he appreciated the refresher. “where’re you going? i thought we were still eating lunch together?” 

right. lunch. eating. food. the empty feeling in bokuto’s stomach reminded him of the fact he’d skipped breakfast after thinking so hard about his feelings and what to do with them that too much time slipped away to let him eat something properly. 

“oh, yeah!” he forced a smile--”forced” wasn’t really the right term though, because with you everything flowed so naturally and so easily that he never had to force himself to do something. 

“i was actually planning on practicing a bit instead of going to the cafeteria.” your expression fell the slightest bit and he scolded himself internally for being the cause of even the mildest discomfort of yours. “i’m really sorry for not telling you! really sorry! i should’ve texted you or something. i’m sorry! but i’ll make it up to you if--” 

“bo!” your lightened expression was back and he, cheesily, melted at the sight. “it’s fine! i’m not angry at you. well, at least not for that. i’m just worried that you’re not eating lunch.” 

uh oh. his stomach didn’t feel that great. it felt like there were a bunch of wild, frantic insects in there that pushed and pulled at the tissue in an attempt to get out. he thought he needed to vomit. 

it was nice that you were worrying about him. you did that a lot. the reminder only made him feel lightheaded and briefly convinced that maybe it wasn’t a crush and actually just a really bad, persistent stomach flu that only flared up in the presence of the girl of his dreams. 

he spoke through a smile that he hadn’t even noticed appeared on his face so brightly. “it’s really sweet that you’re worried.” his words were hazy and lovestruck. midway through the interaction he stopped putting so much effort in hiding his adoration for you. he figured maybe you’d appreciate it one way or another, even if it was just to make fun of him in your head. “but i’m fine! no worries! i’ll make sure to eat when i get home, promise.” 

you gave him a nod, “promise,” and a quick wave and then you were off to the cafeteria. to eat lunch. would you be alone? when you both ate lunch together you didn’t really hang out with anyone else--as much as bokuto’s teammates offered to let you sit at their table, you were both perfectly content with just sitting in the presence of each other, alone. 

dreamily, his grin persisted on his face and his eyes grew glittery and unfocused before his lips dropped at another realization. 

you’d be alone. would you feel lonely? would you be mad at him for making you feel that way? 

he made it to the gym already by the time he realized that. maybe this time alone would let him settle his fluttering heart and compose himself so he could be conditioned to tolerate your presence more often without drifting away into a bunch of domestic daydreams. 

a sick feeling in his stomach persisted all through his spiking practice. it was less pleasant than before. his body temperature grew both from unease and the physical exertion caused by extra practice. 

maybe he really was sick. in one way or another. 

---

you showed up to the gym fifteen minutes into bokuto’s practice. the boys were still slowly getting ready, so you took the time to approach bokuto and hand him a small and weighty paper bag. 

“meat buns,” you told him, extending the package in his directions. “it’s not good to skip meals just to practice. you still have to eat!” despite the scolding tone, your face remained playful and taut in a smile. bokuto wondered if your cheeks every became sore from grinning all the time. as much as he didn’t want you in pain, he was willing to give you all the face massages you wanted as long as it kept you smiling at him so often. did face massages exist? were they a thing? he’d study the art of massage for you and develop a technique, whatever was necessary. 

“y… yeah…!” he responded dumbly. his was certain his face was unhealthily red as his body instinctively moved to wrap you in his arms. 

hugs were typical between you two. it wouldn’t be weird, right? oh well. too late to think about it, since you were already embraced in the warmth of his arms. 

“are you alright?” your voice came out muffled and gentle from the depths of his embrace and his heart fluttered at the way your voice rumbled through his chest. “you feel kinda warm.” 

he was warm? he thought you were way warmer than him. though maybe he meant that in a less physical sense. he couldn’t tell the difference anymore--not with you. 

“yeah, just kind of tired.” before he could ridicule himself at the fact that tired had no correlation to having a full-body flush, he continued to reassure you, “but i’m fine! i’ll make sure to take care of myself.” 

he felt your smile appear against the fabric of his shirt and wondered if it was weird that he was willing to die in that position. 

after a moment of relaxing in each other’s grasps (and ignoring the distant gossip of his teammates), bokuto pulled back with a grin, a nod, and the longing to press a kiss against your forehead. 

practice was good. it felt easier than it had been last week, though he probably owed that to the visit you paid him in the afternoon. he came to the conclusion that running from you just to “figure out his feelings” was stupid. he knew what he felt. he didn’t have a single clue what to do about it specifically, but thought that was fine. it felt good to be around you--he’d be stupid to let opportunities to spend time with you pass him by. 

---

apparently you sat with akaashi the day before, when bokuto was away from the cafeteria during lunch. he figured that out when he went to sit at your usual table only to find you accompanied by his setter. 

“bo! hey!” you greeted, pausing the ongoing conversation with akaashi. “i forgot to tell you, but akaashi’s sitting with us today. he sat with me yesterday so i just figured the three of us could start eating lunch together.” 

bokuto didn’t really think much of it. if anything, he was thankful that akaashi had kept you company and alleviated the ace of some of his lingering guilt from the day before. 

he had no qualms with having the duo become a trio for the period, and found himself enjoying the conversation floating between all of you. 

well. sort of. he didn’t really get to talk much with how exuberant you seemed to be with akaashi. it was nice to see you so happy and active with his friend, and the sight of your smile was enough to distract him from the unpleasant simmering of his stomach acid. 

for the most part. he had to excuse himself to the bathroom in the middle of class to splash cold water on his face and try to subdue the uncomfortable heat that was certainly not reminiscent of his previous warming adoration for you. 

despite how many times he urged you to go home early, you assured bokuto that you were fine with staying for his practice the whole time, ending your defense with a, “i really wanted to walk with you today!” and a smile that made him fall into your unintentional trap. 

true to your word, you walked to the train station with bokuto, boarding the same train. conversation was light and typical, but his leg kept bouncing and heart urged for him to say something before everything imploded under the pressure of his emotions. 

“are you dating akaashi?” great going, bokuto thought, the most discreet, subtle thing i could’ve possibly asked.

you blinked, and turned your gaze from your phone screen to him. you huffed out a lighthearted laugh and nudged your elbow into his ribs playfully. “of course not. we only really started talking yesterday. i wouldn’t date someone i barely know.” 

bokuto’s mind went on overdrive, the news coming as a deep relief for him and making him ignore the blaring reminders of potential consequences that flashed bright and red in his head. his mouth spilled words before he could logically think of what to say and figured letting his heart guide, as always, wouldn’t be a terrible choice. 

“so you’d date someone you do know? a lot? like a friend?” 

once again, his words weren’t discreet in the slightest, but he had tunnel vision pointed in your direction, covering you in a sheer golden light like you were the only thing that mattered in that moment--because you were. no need for detailed thought processes or pros and cons lists that he’d briefly considered making (“that’s what professionals do, right?”). 

your smile persisted, and he took that as a good enough sign to continue with his mindless stammering. 

though your voice interrupted his next outward train of thought, and he listened with the focus of a child watching a television screen. 

“what about this saturday? at noon? at that sweet little cafe near my house?” 

bokuto blinked. processed your words with an intensity unmatched, even compared to those times he had to write those stupid DBQs and analyze sources that were way too complicated for him to handle very well. 

you words were much easier for him to understand than college-level essays. much lighter, much sweeter, like agave syrup and orange zest. 

“yeah. this saturday. that’s… great.” 

bokuto wondered if it was possible to develop sudden onset asthma as you slid closer to his form, side pressed up against his in a way that felt much more meaningful than any casual touches from before. he lost his breath--felt like he dropped it--as you gave him a smile and let your hand casually fall against his. 

(he walked you all the way home, which he didn’t usually do, but today wasn’t really usual. you asked if you could kiss him, and in a fit of overwhelming emotions he blurted out “i thought i was supposed to do that?!” only for his words to be muffled by your lips on his. bokuto’s mind went silent for the first time in a long time, only filled with a gentle buzz and glimmering stars that made him feel warm and dizzy.)

[bizarre-alien]

Saturday Morning

I made a short Erasermic fic on Saturday, and I just wanted to post this here because why not! It takes place when they were in their 20s, and Shota is gonna do something bold after a night of clubbing with Hizashi which, apparently, didn't turn out so well!

Saturday mornings were hard sometimes. Waking up hungover while my brain tries to recollect memories of last night only makes me numb with this dull melancholic ache in my chest. I stretched out my limbs across my bed to find that I was all alone. “Shocker.” I thought to myself sarcastically. I slowly turned my body over to get my phone that was on my nightstand. To my surprise, it was hooked up and charged. “No, I was too drunk to do something this responsible.” I mumbled as I unplugged it. There were some unread messages from Yamada, and it brought this warm feeling inside that my heart seemed to crave.

“Last night was WILD! Please text me when you wake up. I need to know you lived! 😭”

“I did lay you on your side with a bucket, pukey! 🤣”

“OMG ARE YOU ALIVE?? I MISS MY BEST FRIEND!”

“I should’ve just crashed on your couch instead of taking the cab back to my place… Could’ve saved myself from stress and money… LMAOOO”

“SHOOOOOOTAAAAAAAA”

I couldn’t help but to laugh at his sweet attentiveness. He never failed to put a smile on my face even if he wasn’t around. I took a selfie and sent it to him. “I lived, bitch. 😤”

I felt my stomach shock from anticipation as I saw the ellipsis pop up. “YOU LOOK GOOD FOR A DEAD BITCH!!” The ellipsis came up again. “Also, you looked cuter than me in the shirt I let you wear. If you wanna keep it, you deserve it! I have your shirt, and it’s nice and clean! I think I’ll wear it today!”

I couldn’t help but to blush at his remark. “It’s mine now. I’ll take good care of it.” I looked down to see which shirt it was, and I gasped. It was an exclusive shirt from one of his favorite bands that he got at a live show. The exact one that he said he wanted to be buried in. “WAIT ARE YOU SURE BC I JUST SAW WHICH ONE IT WAS”

“It’s okay!! I’d rather see you wear it instead. 💖”

“... That’s very sweet…”

“How do I look? I’m going for that Shota Aizawa look. Don’t mind my lack of pants, please. 🥰🤣” His selfie nearly made me drown in affection. He looks so good in my shirt… And his legs...

“*Chef’s kiss* You rn…” Were we flirting, right now?? No. He has someone, right? “Wait… Are you flirting with me to make your so jealous? What did he do wrong, now? 🥴” The ellipsis came up, but went away… Then again… Then nothing. I began to worry. “Zashi, I’m playing. You know that, right?” The other end was radio silent, and I felt anxiety surge through me. Was it a sore topic and I didn’t know? Did I just ruin our friendship? I mean, how would that screw everything up? After all we’ve been through for the past 7 years, that couldn’t have been the final straw… right? I was pulled from my overthinking by my phone vibrating. It was Zashi calling, and I picked it up immediately. “Was that a bad thing to say? Because I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt-!”

“It’s okay, Sho!” He chuckled reassuringly to me, but I could hear the pain in his voice. “I forgot that you black out when you’re drunk… No, me and him are done. You broke his nose when I came to you crying about it. We had to leave the club because of all the drama, but no one knew who we were… Thank God, right?”

“Yeah…” I was silent for a moment as I tried to remember what happened.

“Sho! We’re leaving. Come on!” Hizashi roared as he made his way to me.

“Hold, hold, hold. What happened?” I stopped him in his tracks and grabbed his arms. “Zashi, are you okay? Where’s-?”

“Who cares? I hate him! Let’s go!”

“But you left me to blow him in the bathroom! What do you mean you hate him, now-?”

“I wish I didn’t, and I’m so sorry! He’s a monster in disguise, but I was too stupid to notice AGAIN!!” Zashi burst into tears as he held onto me tightly. We stumbled a bit, but I held him back with all I had. I feared that this was gonna happen.

“I knew there was a reason why I couldn’t stand him.”

“Baby, you got it all wrong! I love you, Hizashi! I wanna marry you!” I heard the voice of Zashi’s former lover, and the alcohol in me decided to take control of my body.

“You take another step, and you’ll regret it! Don’t think I won’t have you on the ground, you piece of garbage!”

“Sho, let’s just get out of here! I gotta go!” Hizashi pushed me towards the exit. “It’s not worth it!”

“Hizashi!” The moment he grabbed Hizashi’s arm, I went feral.

I dug my nails into his wrist to get him to let go of my best friend. “Piss off!” I roared as I got Hizashi behind me. Before I could register anything, I felt my right fist connect with his nose hard enough that it sent a shock up to my shoulder. “I knew you were trash the moment I laid eyes on you! You don’t deserve Zashi!” I wanted to go for more, but I felt a multitude of hands grasp at me and pull me towards the exit. I managed to spit on Zashi’s ex before we were escorted out of the club.

“Oh my God, Shota! That was intense!” Hizashi grabbed my shoulders and shook me. His makeup was smeared from his tears, but it made him look like an ethereal being. “You good?”

“Mmh.”

“I can’t believe you did that for me! You’re so sweet! Oh my gosh, like you- Oh, God!” He backed up as he looked at me again. “Alleyway. Alleyway!” He guided us to the alleyway and held my hair the moment I let everything out. “Oh, God. It’s on your shirt. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” When I spat out the remains, he gently took off my soiled shirt. “You are so lucky that I have on something sexy underneath this tee! I guess this may be a sign to dress sexy for myself instead of waiting for someone to see it in private, huh?” He pulled off his band tee and handed it to me with a smile. He had on a fishnet long sleeve bodysuit with nipple coverings, and he looked like the biggest rockstar in that moment… but, that was my best friend… My best friend is the biggest rockstar and he’s holding my gross shirt.

“You’re so freaking nice, Zashi!” I began to tear up as I put on the shirt. “I’m so sorry!”

“I should be sorry! I didn’t listen to you. I just listened to his dick!” We laughed like a couple of hyenas as we took our drunken selves to our favorite place to eat when we drank our weight in booze.

“Zashi." I sighed and shook my head. "I’m so sorry."

“Thanks. It hurts, you know? He wasn’t who I thought he was. I guess… I don’t know how to pick ‘em, huh?” He tried to laugh, but he went quiet.

Never in my life did I want to reach out to him through the phone and hug him as much as I do now, but all I could do was hug him with my words. “You have a big heart and a warm presence that deserves to be honored and cherished, and he just didn’t get it. If I had the chance, I’d punch him again. You deserve so much better, and you will get that.”

“When, Shota?” There was a pause.

“When the time and place is right.” I wanted to say right now and with me, but I chickened out. “That person will love you and nurture your heart, and that person will be the most lucky human in all existence and memory.”

“I wish it were-” He paused and sighed. “I wish it happened now.”

I felt my heart jump and my mind started to race. Did he want me? Should I risk it all? Were we both too afraid of screwing up our friendship? “Hizashi…”

“Hey, do you mind if we meet up somewhere? Your place, my place, a restaurant… Anywhere, honestly! I just need to see you. Sorry if that sounds clingy. I just-”

“Of course! I would love to meet up. You’re going through a tough situation, and I’m more than happy to be there for you.” I smiled. “You can come over to my place and we can decide if we wanna go out or not.”

“That sounds good. I’ll get coffee on the way, okay? I know you need it.” He chuckled.

“You’re the best.” I sighed in relief. “I think coffee would solve a lot of problems, right now.”

“Hey, Shota?”

“Yeah?”

“I want you to know how much I value our friendship. We had rocky moments, but there isn’t a day that I’m not grateful that we smoothed things out. I can freely be myself around you, and that’s really rare nowadays because all these fakes are roaming the streets.”

“It doesn’t help that you’re well known, huh?” I joked.

“Exactly! You keep me from losing my mind… You inspire me, you encourage me, and I know I can be vulnerable with you and you wouldn't judge me for it! I just really love- Ugh... No, I should stop. I’m getting sappy.” He burst into laughter.

“Funny enough, I needed to hear that.” I blushed and rubbed that back of my neck. “Hizashi, I actually wanna talk to you about something when you get here. It’s important to me, so that’s why I wanna wait.”

“Oh, for real? I’m not in trouble, am I?”

He was so cute. “No, not at all!” I snorted.

“Good! Give me a few minutes, okay? I’ll be there in a bit.”

“In Hizashi minutes, right? I'm guessing that it'll be an hour before you get here.”

“Shut up, man! I can’t help the fact that I’m a high maintenance scatterbrain!” He whined on the other line.

“Whatever. Just get here when you get here. You know where the spare key is, so I’m gonna take a shower and clean up the place a bit.”

“Sounds good!”

“Okay, cool. See you then.”

“See you!” He sang then hung up.

I looked at my phone with a whirlwind of emotions. The comfort of his voice still in my heart, but it wrestled with the anxiety that I felt in my chest as I knew what I set myself up for. The timing seems wrong, but I was so caught up that I could care less. What if he hates me for even confessing now? Yet again, it seemed that he was dying for me to confess… I just know that this is the last Saturday morning I wanted to spend hungover by myself. I wanted to wake up to messy blond hair in my mouth, limbs entangled, and the sweet smell of his natural scent mixed with the ghost of his perfume of choice from the night before.

The feeling was so strong that I clutched my pillow for dear life, and I couldn’t tell what kind of tears were falling from my eyes. All I could do is lay there and imagine what could possibly become a reality while also fear that I could make this imagery impossible if I said the wrong things. Funny enough, this hurricane of emotion is something that I’m just observing. Somewhere deep in my core, I felt a sense of relief and peace. And it was that very peace that gave me the strength to get up and get ready for a life changing discussion with my best friend.

Thank you! Bye!

[green-eyeddragonfanfiction]

1940′s Magic

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x Nurse!Reader Summary: Bucky takes a hit out in the field and reverts to his suave, lady-killing 1940′s self. As the RN for the team, it’s your job to run the preliminary scans to try and discover what happened. Warnings: None Word Count: ~2,459 A/N: One Shot! IW didn’t happen. We’re ignoring the canon. *plugs fingers in ears* lalalalalala everything is fine lalalalala In case it’s not horribly apparent, I don’t have a medical degree. This is 90% bullshit and 100% fluff. Don’t worry about the math there. I checked it myself.

Masterlist

“Incoming quinjet, Nurse (Y/L/N).”

You glanced up from your small mountain of paperwork, eyes fixed at a random point in the wall. “Wounded, FRI?” you asked the AI, fingers frozen in the middle of writing a sentence.

“That is correct, Nurse (Y/L/N). Your presence will be needed in the medical bay as soon as the plane lands,” FRIDAY informed you in her Irish brogue.

“Got it, FRI. Any details?” you asked, already a whirlwind of activity as you prepped for dealing with any wounded Avengers. They rarely received any injuries that needed more than a few stitches and, because FRIDAY was paging you first, it seemed this time would be no different.

“Captain Rogers received a wound to his arm and Sergeant Barnes has suffered head trauma.”

You frowned up at the ceiling and tried to calm your heart which had sped up at the mention of Bucky. “Head trauma? Shouldn’t we bring Cho in for that?” you asked, already walking briskly towards the med bay. The walk from your small office to the high-tech medical rooms in the Avengers base was thankfully a short one.

“According to Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff the trauma was not acute enough to warrant bringing in Doctor Cho.”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t trust those two’s opinions on medical matters. They’re both too stubborn for their own good. I know Steve’s tried to hide a gunshot wound from me more than once and Natasha will try to hide her limp when she’s hurt. Buncha idiots, the lot of ‘em,” you bitched lovingly.

“Yeah, you should try workin’ with ‘em in the field.”

You turned around and smiled widely at Sam. “Hey there, handsome,” you said, winking playfully. “Mission go alright minus Bucky catching fists with his face and Steve doing stupid stuff that gets him hurt?”

Sam nodded, wide toothy smile showing off his adorable gap. “Yeah, we got it done. They’ll be in in a minute. Nat’s makin’ sure Steve can get Bucky here in one piece.”

You frowned, not liking the way he said that. “Why, what’s wrong? Is it the head wound? Should I get Helen?” you asked, trying to keep your calm professional(-ish) attitude even though the thought of Bucky being really hurt sent your mind into overdrive.

Sam threw his hands up helplessly. “Nah, I ain’t dealin’ with this one. I couldn’t explain it if I tried.” Without any further ado he walked past you and towards the elevators.

You had less than a minute to wonder at his words before Steve, Natasha, and Bucky trundled through the double doors, Bucky draped between the two blonds.

You rushed to open the door to the nearest exam room and Natasha gave you a distracted nod of appreciation before she and Steve hauled Bucky bodily into the room.

It was only once you were in the tiny confined space with him that you realized he was talking. A lot.

“That plane was crazy, Stevie! They finally gave us something that doesn’t feel like it’s made out of paper. We’ll blow Hydra’s sorry ass to dust.”

Steve looked even more lost and confused than usual, staring at Bucky helplessly. “Yeah... yeah, Buck...” he murmured quietly.

Bucky frowned and whacked the back of Steve’s chest with the back of his hand. “What’s got you so down in the dumps, punk? There’s a pretty dame in the room and she hasn’t run screamin’ from you yet,” he said playfully

Natasha threw up her hands in annoyed surrender. “I can’t deal with him like this. This is your problem, (Y/N). Rogers.”

And just like that she was sweeping out of the room, leaving you and Steve a gaping mess in her wake.

You turned your hard stare at the blond wall of a man. “Steve.”

He flinched and turned his guilty face on you, looking cowed for such a strong-willed man.

“What happened?” you grit out, staring hard at him. This behavior was so supremely un-Bucky-like that you would have thought it was a different person if it weren’t the fact that it was undoubtedly Bucky sitting in your exam room just then, vibranium arm and all.

Before he could say anything, though, Bucky’s slightly unfocused gaze shifted to you and he broke out into the largest grin you’d ever seen on the ex-Soviet assassin’s face.

“Hey there, Sugar. You rationed?” he asked, all tooth, swagger, and sparkling blue eyes.

You gaped at him for a moment, heart thunderous in your chest. You turned to glare at Steve. “Explain!” you demanded, pointing helpfully to Bucky’s still grinning form.

Steve winced and self-consciously shoved his bangs from his face. “Well, he kinda got hit with something when we were out in the field. It was an energy blast of some sort. No wounds or anything we could see, but he...”

“C’mon, Doll. Don’t be like that. Stevie’s stuck on some dame, but I’ll take you out dancin’ any night if you’d let me,” he said smoothly, voice as dark as sin. Steve just gestured to him with a single, defeated arm.

You felt heat flood your cheeks, embarrassed that even his outdated pickup lines were working on you. It was truly unfair how attractive this man was.

“Alright, fine, whatever Steve. I’ll run some tests on him and see if I can’t pinpoint what the issue is. If I can’t figure it out in the next hour, though, we’re calling Helen, Wanda or Shuri. No buts.”

Steve heaved out a sigh and nodded. “Yeah, that’s fair. Thanks, (Y/N).”

You glared good-naturedly at him. “That’s Nurse (Y/N) to you, Captain Rogers. Now get out of my room so I can treat my patient.” You turned back to Bucky only to freeze at the flirty look on his face. “On second thought, Steve...” you murmured, suddenly feeling very much like a rabbit cornered by a fox (it shouldn’t have excited you as much as it did).

“Nah, Stevie can go. I’m nothin’ if not a gentleman,” he said, easily reading your discomfort. “I won’t do nothin’ you don’t ask me to do,” he said with a wink and smirk.

You could hear Steve sigh behind you. “You’ll be fine with him. Bucky may have gone out with half the girls in Brooklyn when we were younger, but he was always a gentleman ahead of his time.”

You both ignored Bucky’s offended correction of, “Half the girls in New York.”

You felt your shoulders droop a fraction. “If you say so...” you murmured, turning your attention back to Bucky as Steve made a hasty retreat out of the room.

You looked back to Bucky, trepidation lining your features as you studied the anomaly before you. It was Bucky, but it wasn’t. You were used to the cold, quiet assassin who never spoke more than a polite “hello” to you.

“You know, I really should be the one starin’.”

His voice snapped you out of your confused daze and you shook your head in an attempt to focus, frown wrinkling your brow. “Sorry?”

Bucky just smiled his thousand watt smile. “Y’know, cause you’re the prettiest thing I ever saw.”

You felt heat rush all the way up your neck to your ears. “Yes, well, I need to run some tests, Sergeant Barnes, so if-”

“Bucky,” he said, oozing that confidence you only ever saw from him on the battlefield.

“What?” you asked, once again thrown off balance by this new (old?) Bucky.

“Call me Bucky. What’s your name? I heard Steve call you (Y/N) earlier,” he said mischievously.

You nodded quickly. “Yes, that’s (Y/N)- I mean me- I mean-” you took a deep breath. “Yes, my name’s (Y/N),” you said quickly, embarrassment approaching critical mass.

“That’s such a pretty name,” Bucky said with such sincerity that your heart nearly melted.

You fiddled uselessly with your clipboards and scrounged up what was left of your dignity. “Yes, well, Ser- Bucky. If you’ll just follow me, and we can get these tests underway so you can get out of here as soon as possible.”

Bucky just smiled sweetly as he stood and focused his gaze on you. “Well, hopefully not too soon.”

You tsked loudly at the pile of readouts. Every test you could think to give Bucky and still, nothing. No sign as to what was wrong. His brain scans looked exactly like they always did.

“Somethin’ wrong, Doll?” the man himself asked, eyeing you coyly from on top of the exam bed.

You heaved out a huge sigh and hung your head in defeat. “I can’t figure it out, Bucky. I’ve tried everything I can with the equipment we have- and we have a lot of equipment- but I can’t find a reason for why you’re-” you gestured vaguely to his entire body, not quite knowing how to phrase what you were trying to say.

Bucky raised an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth quirked upward playfully. “Why I’m... so devilishly handsome?” he asked waggling his eyebrows at you.

You groaned and buried your face in your hands. “You are, but that’s not what I mean! God, we’re going to have to go to Doctor Cho’s office first, then see Wanda if Cho can’t help. I want to avoid having to go all the way to Wakanda if I can help it and-” You froze when a cold hand placed itself gently on your arm and quickly looked up, surprised to find Bucky standing directly in front of you, taking up most of your view.

“You think I’m handsome?” he murmured, eyes searching yours questioningly.

Your eyes widened when you realized what you said in the middle of your scatterbrained rambling and sputtered, eventually getting out something resembling a “yes” although it was nothing more than a tiny squeak of a noise.

Bucky smiled down at you, but it wasn’t the thousand watt smile you’d been looking at for the last hour. It was quieter, more subdued, more Bucky. He looked almost penitent a moment later, ducking his head and glancing up at you through his eyelashes. “I’m sorry. I shoulda dropped the act earlier. The effects of that blast wore off pretty soon after we touched down here, but...” he glanced away nervously and went to remove his hand from your arm, but you wrapped your fingers around the metal digits before he could get very far.

“But?” you prompted breathlessly, curiosity overtaking the sense of self preservation you usually had around Bucky. You liked him, of course. You liked him a lot.

But you learned early on that he didn’t like you, so you kept your distance and hoped your feelings would vanish.

They hadn’t.

Bucky looked like a trapped animal but he held his ground resolutely, blue eyes burning with determination. “But it was easy to talk to you when I was like that... and I didn’t want to stop,” he admitted quietly.

Well, whatever you’d been expecting, it wasn’t that. “So... you’ve been yourself for almost an hour now?” you asked, eyes narrowed and assessing.

His eyes flicked away guiltily for a split second before returning to you. The only answer you got was a stiff nod.

“And you were flirting with me that whole time?”

Another nod.

“Why?” you breathed, heart threatening to beat out of your chest.

Bucky shifted nervously, dragging his lip between his teeth and looking anywhere but you while he gathered his courage.

Finally, he set his jaw and looked at you and you felt your breath catch in your throat. “Because I like you. And I normally can’t work up the courage to talk to you, so I wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.” As soon as he was done speaking, his gaze dropped to the ground and didn’t lift back up again.

Your breath left you in an almighty whoosh that nearly had you seeing stars.

Bucky... liked you? He was... shy?

Oh god, you were a fool. A big, dumb idiot of the highest proportions.

“I like you too, Bucky,” you said, tentative smile creeping across your face.

Bucky’s gaze snapped up to yours, disbelief etched in every feature. “What?” he asked, fingers tightening imperceptibly against yours.

You smiled widely at him and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “I like you, too. I have for a long time, but I thought you didn’t like me at all, so...” You shrugged helplessly.

Bucky’s hopeful smile sent butterflies aflutter in your stomach and you couldn’t help the giddy smile on your face. “Really?”

“Really, really,” you confirmed, nearly giggling at how unfairly adorable he was.

“Hey, Doll?” he whispered, closing the distance between the two of you until he was close enough that his breath fanned your face.

“Yeah, Bucky?” you breathed back, heart hammering in your chest.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, eyes darting to your lips. That sinful tongue of his had the audacity to sneak out across his lips and you nearly swooned at the sight.

“Thought you’d never ask, Buck.”

And just like that his lips were on yours. The entire world fell away until there was only Bucky and how he felt pressed up against you. You dropped his hand and immediately your arms went around his neck, your fingers buried in his long brown hair. His arms slipped around your waist, pulling you flush to his chest. The contrasting temperatures gave you pleasant chills all over. A slight tug to his hair made him gasp and you smiled against his lips.

Eventually, though, you had to break apart for air, both of you smiling like the couple of dopes you were and you stared happily at each other.

“Hey, Bucky?”

“Yeah, Doll?”

“Two things,” you said, giving him the hardest stare you could muster at the moment (it must not have been much because Bucky didn’t look the least bit nervous).

“And those are?” he asked, eyes roaming your face up and down seriously as though he was trying to memorize every single detail.

“I can’t be your nurse anymore. Conflicting interests and all that.”

Bucky looked a little sad, but nodded. It was a worthy sacrifice in his books. “And the other thing?”

You tried to glare at him but it failed by and large and you ended up looking a bit like a pouty child. “I’m so mad that you made me run all those tests on you! I was driving myself insane trying to figure it out!” you grumped, head falling heavily against his right shoulder.

He let out a low, rumbling chuckle that had you thinking very, very indecent thoughts. “I’ll make it up to you, promise.”

You peeked up at him, smile dancing on your lips. “I’ll hold you to that, Bucky.” 

Liked this Bucky fic? Like this post to be tagged in more like it! Sorry, but responses to this post asking to be tagged will be ignored, so send me an ask or like one of the taglist posts!

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[leftnipsdoodles]

almost got ‘em all! thanks everyone for asking! answers are below~

1. What age did you begin getting into art? Why did you get into it? hmmmmm im gonna try to answer this as interestingly as i can. so ive been drawing all my life and i think it was just bc a) there was always art supplies lying around and b) i just had so many things in my head and wanted a way to express them or just get them out. like when i played with my toys i was always completely quiet bc i was imagining everything in my head. sound/speech/words just weren’t as interesting to me as a way to put my thoughts out there as visuals were. also i rly liked ranma 1/2 and wanted to draw it.

4. Do you make merchandise? Favorite kind of merch to make? i don’t. i did think about making charms once, even if just for myself. you know, those cute, chibi-esque ones everybody makes? then i remembered i couldn’t draw sth cute if you put a gun to my head.

5. Who/what are your art inspirations? I listed some of my favorite artists the last time i answered questions like this so i guess this time i’ll go with the ‘what’ rather than the ‘who’. to me, the most inspiring thing are atmospheres. it could be a garbage container with 1000 stickers stuck and half-way teared down on it. the way the colors and rips in the stickers look and how it adds to the mood of the location. or sometimes it’s listening to a certain song at a certain time in a certain place that creates a unique mood and inspires you. but looking at art has never been an inspiration. so there’s that.

6. What is something (a technique, behaviorism, etc.) that you do with drawing that you think is unique to you?

ok but in seriousness, i don’t think there’s anything. any uniqueness comes from a lack of skill and knowledge so i don’t think it’s worth mentioning. like what do you even want me to say?? that i edit pictures i drew in clip studio in ms paint?? bc i do.

7. Describe your style. What would you change? neither here nor there. i feel like you can tell i’m a bit scatterbrained bc my drawings always look like they were done without any kind of direction lmao.. in general, i’d like to draw more realistically. i’d like to look at my own drawings and think ‘this pose looks rly natural, the way the clothes fit, the way the face looks, the perspective, the way this character interacts with the environment; it all looks right’. i’d also like to be able to use colors better but it’s hard when you struggle to name more than 3.

8. How do you get out of an art block? well, usually, I don’t. i’m pretty sure i’ve been in one for the past 3 years or so lmao (lamenting my anguish online) but i’ve been told that just working through it is the best way to go. just drawing. even if you hate everything. future you will thank you for it, bc you’ll probably be learning things while doing so, even if you can’t see it at that moment.

9. Does your style reflect who you are visually or your personality? both tbh. if you saw a pic of myself next to a drawing of proto danny you’d definitely see a resemblance in a way. (things like the clothes i draw him in are a given i think. ive probably drawn 90% of my wardrobe at this point) but my personality too. the things i spend more time on while drawing, the colors i choose, the mood in my drawings. that’s all a part of me. im pretty sure my oc tags are fairly accurate documentation of my mood swings and general attitude towards life throughout time lmao also, this thing i summed up in my tags a few years ago

10. What do you find easiest about drawing? getting the ideas for it

11. What do you find hardest about drawing? actually drawing said ideas. look, the moment i sketch the idea down it’s already 50% worse than i imagined it, then when i go to actually draw the thing it turns into sth so bad that i can’t even come up with a forced joke about the scenario. but anyway, lately the thing that scares me the most about drawing (and why i can hardly do it) is heads. heads heads heads. faces faces faces. i just cant do it man lmao

12. Is art part of your career or a hobby? What is your goal with art in life? my goal is to get a better hobby and to never have to return to drawing ever again. but that’s wishful thinking. i guess it’ll always stay my biggest hobby but i’d consider my life a failure if it ever turned into a career.

13. Advice to give to beginning artists? draw your ideas. never limit your creativity bc you don’t have the skill to express it to its full extent. a crappily drawn picture that conveys a cool idea or creates a cool atmosphere is just as good as an expertly crafted painting that has a lame subject. there’s a reason ppl admire the mona lisa but would rather read 90s manga than stare at that portrait all day. god. i guess motivational speaker is another career that’s out of the question lmao but you get what i mean!!

14. Advice to give to your artist peers?

also don’t take advice from me.

15. What have you drawn recently that you are proud of? ‘recent’ is relative, and so is ‘proud’, but i still rly like how this pic turned out. i just feel like it looks very decided, like i knew what i wanted to do and did it (i didn’t)

16. Show something you drew in the past that shows your improvement. 2017 - 2011

ahh tbh.. looking at this i don’t feel like i’ve improved a lot at all lmao..

17. Show something you drew in the past you’re still proud of. this pic might just be one of my favorites i’ve ever drawn. it’s still alright art-wise and it’s probably the most from-the-heart thing i’ve drawn so obviously, i have a soft spot for it lmao but i also just found this again and i still love it, even tho it’s ugly. also this bone which, infamously, is my crowning achievement

you know what i find funny rn? that it’s hard for me to decide which pic to choose for this question. i mean i went through my old art and cringed a LOT but there’s so many pics that im rly fond of, now that i’ve gained some distance to them. i wonder if it’ll be like that with the stuff i draw now, too.

19. Share a tutorial or reference that helped you. nothing concrete but i’ll mention ‘blind drawing’ again. it helped me get a different feel for the lines i’m drawing and, theoretically, would have made me better at drawing from life too

20. Plug time! Where else can followers find you? in the woods around 3am. don’t make eye contact.

[kikistiel]

Holy shit I love your analysis' of Jimin and Namjoon!! Would you mind doing one for Jungkook as well? I know a lot of people were confused as to why Namjoon put him in Ravenclaw over Gryffindor/Slytherin.

Hello~

It’s really weird for me that you guys actually care about and value my opinions  on this whole business so thank you so much for giving my ramblings the time of day omg

for those who are wondering about my thoughts on gryffindor!namjoon and slytherin!jimin here’s the links to those:

Namjoon as a Gryffindor || Jimin as a Slytherin

So like, I really. really. really. love the idea of Ravenclaw Jeon. (But listen… I used to be a hardcore Slytherin!Jeon person okay, so I understand your feels on this. I do.) 

 here goes nothing

Ravenclaw Jungkook confused a lot of people. And I really get it because Ravenclaw was so fucking shafted in the books. 

We had so many Gryffindors and Slytherins to relate to, and we had a fair share of badass Hufflepuffs (TONKS) to base our opinions off of. But there were only a few Ravenclaws that were given the time of day in the books, and only one of those was a major character. We had Luna, Trelawney, Lockehart, and Cho. Cho’s amazing character was wasted by JK – she was written with the personality of a dish rag and didn’t really get the spotlight she deserved. Trelawney was presented as a crazy old lady who sometimes ?? served a purpose. Lockehart was an idiot. All we really had was Luna.

But it wasn’t just the characters. Ravenclaw has a really weird reputation. Before I wrote this, I asked a bunch of my casual and hardcore HP fan friends to tell me the characteristics they associated with each house. And I got pretty much what I expected:

Gryffindor: Leaders, brave, courageous, brash, strong

Slytherin: Cunning, resourceful, calculating, perfectionists

Hufflepuff: Loyal, kind, hard-working, determination, cheerful

Ravenclaw: Smart…?? they are… smart people?? They do things…….smartly……

Like for real. Whenever I asked people what traits they associated with Ravenclaw, all anyone was ever able to tell me was that Ravenclaws were supposedly smart. And that’s got a lot to do with the fact that when the sorting hat sings off about all the houses, it lists all these great traits for the other houses, but when it comes to Ravenclaw it says this:

“Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,If you’ve a ready mind,Where those of wit and learning,Will always find their kind.”

And then the books go on to say that Ravenclaws are,

characterised by their wit, intelligence, and wisdom.

So maybe you’re like me, and I am REALLY guilty of this, but when I first read this in the books I kinda just thought these all meant the same thing. So maybe that’s where we got this idea that all Ravenclaws are good for are being smart.

But it wasn’t until I looked up the actual definition of each word that I realized these were all saying really different things:

Intelligence - the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.Wit - a natural aptitude for using words and ideas in a quick and inventive way to create humor.Wisdom - the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise.

^^^^this is just webster dictionary definitions here. The bolded words are the ones I want to focus on.

Skill. See – Ravenclaws are supposedly smart. But this doesn’t always have to mean BOOKSMART, and I think that’s where we had a lot of trouble with Jeon. No one is saying he is dumb or anything, but he’s no Namjoon.

Notable examples of this trait include Lockehart, who was pretty shitty at a lot of things, but had the street smarts enough to pass off his big whole scam for years and years, and was especially gifted in certain charms.

Then there’s Luna, who while shown to be really good at solving riddles, was also portrayed as really physically skilled. In Dumbledore’s Army, while being taught how to conjure a Patronus by Harry, Luna was the first to get it right. She was fourteen at the time, and was such a skilled witch that she was able to perform an incredibly difficult charm - that even adults had trouble with - after like…….mere minutes of teaching.

Does this sound like someone you know?? I’ll give you an example: Observe this VERY determined Hufflepuff not give up on his dreams and finally have all his hard work pay off… only for someone to come in and get it right almost instantly.

Or maybe… “Hey guys, this dance move you made up looks pretty cool – mind if I watch you do it like once and a half and then nail it instantly?”

And if you’re ever in doubt about just how skilled Jungkook is… remember that he turned down seven other agencies to join BigHit. That’s how many people were after him and recognized his talent. (This also ties in to my thoughts on the part about good judgement – Jungkook obviously saw a lot of potential in Namjoon and BigHit in general, so much so that he turned down tons of other companies to be there. He saw something a lot of other people did not… and it ended up being the best decision he ever made.)

But I think another really telling aspect of Jungkook’s Ravenclaw personality is that he isn’t always perfect at everything. He’s not always good at something right away – but that won’t stop him working really hard to get good. 

In Rookie King he was shown to be at the most pretty average at bowling. He wasn’t terrible, but he was about as good as you and I would be after playing a few rounds with a little luck. Well, Golden Maknae Jungkook could not stand to not be the best at something, so he mentions sometime later (13:10) that he’s hired a coach to teach him how to bowl…. and then just a few months later uploads a video of himself getting a strike like it’s no god damn big deal at all. And he looks pretty proud of himself too.

But all the major Ravenclaws were also shown time and time and time again as being a little…. scatterbrained. Luna, Lockehart, and Trelawney especially, and to an extent even Cho. And Jungkook is no exception. He’s… pretty gullible. And DEFINITELY scatterbrained.

But wit, intelligence, and wisdom are not the only three traits associated with Ravenclaw. There are a lot of other traits you may not really know about, because again – Ravenclaws were woefully under-represented in the series. There’s quite a few others listed for this house:

Creative

Individuality

Eccentric

Quirky

Jealousy/Envy

Competitive

So imma just go down the list because I’m really tired and I can’t made good word things rn

Creative

it’s no secret that Jungkook is a pretty talented artist. He’s a pretty damn good photographer too. (This will always be one of my favorite photos ever of Jimin – and Jungkook took it.) And he’s a talented lyricist as well. He’s an extremely good dancer and has a beautiful voice too – but you guys know this already.

Individuality

Take a look at how he expresses his individuality through his song covers.

Eccentric & Quirky

You guys thought the fact that Lockehart, Trelawney, and even heckin Luna were all in the same house was a coincidence? Ravenclaws are NOTORIOUS for being Extra™. I’m not kidding! This is literally a personality trait of Ravenclaws that we overlook so often from these weirdos. And Jeon fuckin Jungkook invented the word eccentric:

too busy doing THE MOST to care about personal space

O______O

the name is bond…. jeon bond.

meme child

sometimes he does it on purpose…

sometimes he doesn’t…

sometimes he doesn’t realize he’s being a ditz

sometimes he pulls a loony lovegood and says the most socially inept shit

meme child pt 2

all around me are familiar faces…

yall remember how luna was like literally afraid of nothing, including creepy/weird creatures? yeah so is this hell child

worryingly eccentric

alien language

can’t you interact with even insects like a normal human being?

you’d be here forever if i kept going so… you get the point. eccentric is jungkook’s middle name.

Jealousy/Envy

Jeonlous exists in this god forsaken fandom, and I ain’t gonna link it and open THAT can of worms, but if you’re feeling so inclined and care to enter the seventh circle of hell, feel free to look it up… but tread carefully.

Competitive

When I got the first ask about Ravenclaw Kook I had woken up at 3am and sleepily looked at my emails. I saw the ask and immediately had to jot down my ideas to keep for the next day, and all I managed to write in my sleep stupor was this

and then i promptly fell back asleep.

I was referring to this, and if you don’t feel bad for poor Jin in this situation I don’t know what to tell you. Jungkook is intensely competitive, even over small things like board games. He was so intent on winning that game that he literally assaulted someone five years his senior to sabotage them.

And then this is him trying to win a dance-off… doing the most, as usual.

And also?? He was literally banned from the gym because he was getting too buff. And look at him take out that guy in wrestling… and then demolish poor Jimin, the smallest member of BTS in arm wrestling when he could have… you know… let him win or something……

It’s a pretty well known meme within the fandom that Jungkook is competitive and always trying to outdo the others.

But when it comes down to it, Ravenclaws are still known for being smart, right? We can take all these other traits and apply them to Jeon but what about his brain?

He’s actually kinda smart. He is able to cover a song in perfect English even though he doesn’t speak the language all that well (but well enough to constantly correct others’ English and he’s good enough to tell you he’s really not all that interested in participating in English Time anyways)

And I mean…. he can outsmart the other members pretty well…………..

But I think one of the most important things to note about Jungkook being in Ravenclaw is to look at who sorted him, Namjoon: Namjoon himself gave Jungkook the nickname “Golden Maknae”. He is constantly saying that Jungkook can do anything, or watch this Jungkook can do this, or wow look at him go, or he’s so talented this and that. Is it really any surprise that Namjoon would put Jungkook in to a house known for being highly skilled when he believes no less of the kid?

Jungkook has some pretty Slytherin-like qualities – but tons of canon HP characters and the BTS members themselves have traits that are shared by all four houses. It’s just a matter of where he fits best.

I mean TL;DR, Jeon says it best himself:

gif credit: bwiskook

[b00bstone]

All the even numbers!

thats a lot. and 72 was repeated twice but i had to renumber them since i copied and pasted adn forgot it was repeated. but anyway. 

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

mostly shy i think but i can be outgoing if im comfortable. 

4 Are you easy to get along with?

not really. i can be quite moody. and i unfortunately have a short temper (which im trying to work on) and im depressed adn suicidal so i think the answer is no. 

6 What kind of people are you attracted to?

smart funny ones. 

8Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my friend the nerd because i was talking to them and my friend rabbit earlier. 

10Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist since we talked just earlier today.

12What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

1.awkward by hailey knox

2 beautiful girl by sara barielles 

3. plot twist by sigrid

4 waving through a window from dear evan hansen 

and 5. dissapear also from dear evan hansen.

14Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yeah but my luck is shitty and miracles happen to other people. so basically yes but not for me lmao

16Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yeah. if she were down. but like shes really straight. so i doubt she would be.

18Do you still talk to your first crush?

occasionally. hes a dick now tho. fraternity guy. and voted for trump.

20Do you like your neighbors?

well the ones i know are pretty cool. 

22Where would you like to travel?

narnia. one of those planets they discovered that are super far away but similar to earth. but like on this planet? probs travel around europe. 

24Favorite part of your daily routine?

going to bed. 

26What do you do when you wake up?

lie there and try to go back to sleep. 

28Who are you most comfortable around?

probs my friend rabbit.

30Do you ever want to get married?

one day yeah. but only if i find the right person u know. 

32Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

oohhhh ummm hmmm. chris pratt. aubrey plaza and john boyega. i feel like aubrey would bring a sarcastic element which would help with the pressure and nervousness and john and chris. well u can just see in their eyes that theyre really gentle people that will treat u right. 

34do you play sports? What sports?

hahaha no. ive always wanted to dance and/or be on a swimteam. but my lungs hate me

36Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

i think ive only told like 1 or 2 people that ive liked that i liked them. and ive liked a lot of people so yes. i have hidden that i liked someone before. many many times.

38Describe your dream girl/guy?

theyre taller than me. i dunno why but ive always liked wavy/curly hair. not blonde. or brunette. so that leaves unnatural hair color or black or red. good bone structure. theyre really smart. like they know lots of stuff academically but theyre also just generally smart u know. and they know lots of lil random facts about random things. really nice. but not in like a sugar nice way but more like sun beams when it feels like theyre warming u from the inside kinda nice. kind eyes. color doesnt really matter since i keep changing my mind. strong. but not necessarily muscular. i want them to be able to pick me up and twirl me around but not like theyve got a sixpack or anything. sixpacks are kinda weird looking tbh. wed have to have most of the same values. not too talkative but not like ALWAYS quiet. theyd prefer staying in most weekend and watchng shows but dont mind the occassional night out. theyd like the beach. because what kind of crazy person doesnt like the beach (people that dont beach right thats who). theyd also like biking and hiking and swimming. very much an animal person. not lazy. good listener. intuitive. would understand that some days i just cant fucking stand physical touch. and others i crave it in a way ive never craved anything before. and other days its kinda meh whatever. people that take interest in what im interested in because im interested in it. and whose interests are cool. because i love to take interest in things my friends are interested in but sometimes its so boring. nothing particular comes to mind. but im sure its happened. someone who doesnt check up on me when im crying. because tbh i hate it when people do that. unless its through texting or a phone call. but like people in person asking “are u ok?” while im sobbing my eyes out? fuck no go away. someone who understands that im really fucking bad with words. and sometimes me trying to say something will take a while and it may not make sense. theyd be patient. they wouldnt mock me. or be manipulative. and i think this list is long enough.

40What do you want to do after high school?

travel the world and end up famous, but not like papparazzi following me famous. famous like i appear on snl every once in a while and drop bangers or rad filsm or whatever i do and thats all.  what will i probs end up doing? crying a lot and going to community college. and applying to as many colleges as i have the energy to. 

42If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

it might mean im busy. or just listening. or really pissed off. or upset. or just have nothing to say. 

44Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

space. 

46What are you paranoid about?

everything

48Have you ever been drunk?

not yet. but sometimes i want to be

50What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

blue i think?

52 One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

everything. but like one specific thing? id like to get rid of my depression, fears, and this brain fog that haunts me

.54 Favourite store?

trader joes or target

56Favourite color?

yellow

58 Last thing you ate?

well rn im eating plain potato chips and mayo (please dont judge me. i know its disgusting)

60Ever won a competition? For what?

i used to do mma i won like one or two of those. i also run a riding competition once. 

62Been arrested? For what?

not yet. but im sure one day i will be.

64tell us the story of your first kiss?

we were in her parents bathroom and were 7. thats all i remember. havent kissed anyone since. which isnt for lack of wanting to.

68Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

i dont really have any tumblr friends that arent my real friends yet? so like i cant answer that.

70 Twitter or Tumblr?

well i spend all my time here and not on twitter so lets go with tumblr. altho i do have a twitter im never on

72Names of your best friends?

adi, heather, rabecca, joaquin, celestine. 

74What colour are your towels?

blue, red and white. and theres some hawaiin print ones and a yellow one. 

76How many pillows do you sleep with?

3... 

78How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

like 40? dont judge. i kept asking as a kid and my parents kept giving them to me for christmas and my birthday. they should have stopped. 

80What colour is your underwear?

rn its grey. but its not the only color i have

82Favourite ice cream flavor?

fuck. ummmmm coffee?

84What colour pants?

rn theyre black. but on the front of the thighs they have zebra striping. 

86Favourite movie?

thats not an easy question to answer. im gonna say bringing up baby just because. 

90Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

both? i mean i prefer mean girls a lil more bu 21 jumpstreet isnt bad either

92 Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory. we are both scatterbrained. 

94Last person you talked to today?

adi. but like in person? rabbit and the nerd. 

96Name a person you love?

celestine. (not romantically)

98In a fight with someone?

not as far as i know. but i always kinda feel like im in a fight with monkey. 

100How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 4? i know i know i dont have very many. 

102Favourite actress?

aubrey plaza. 

104Do you tan a lot?

nope. i try at least once every summer. but my skin either stays as pale as snow or i burn really bad then my skin shift to a slightly more offwhite shade of snow. 

106. How are you feeling?

blergh. potato chips and mayo are really gross. and im tired and sick of people telling me shit. 

108Do you regret anything from your past?

i regret everything ive ever done. 

110Do you miss anyone from your past?

well there is this one guy i used to talk to but i miss the attention and not him so that doesnt count. i kinda miss a friend of mine named shannon from elementary school sunday school

112Ever broken someone’s heart?

i dont think so. 

114What should you be doing?

school. but ive given up on that. so. 

.116 Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

oh yeah. ive liked 2 peoplethat much. altho i barely knew the first person and it was more me projecting my ideals of the prefect person onto them. 

118Who was the last person you cried in front of?

probs my therapist. 

120Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah. i was just in virginia last week. i live in california so id say thats definitely out of state. 

122Are you listening to music right now?

nope. 

124Do you like Chinese food?

americanized or traditional? americanized: yessss that shit i shte bomb. traditional? i dont know ive never had it. 

126Are you afraid of the dark?

yes. very. i need a light source or i start to panic. 

.128 Is cheating ever okay?

like on a partner or on a test or something? on a partner? no way. u should never do that. like thatll really fuck them up and make them mistrustful for the rest of their life. on a test? if its necessary sure go for it. i dont care. im not ur teacher. 

130Do you believe in love at first sight?

yeah. but its not something thatll ever happen to me lmao.

132. Are you currently bored?

im always bored. 

134 Would you change your name?

last name? yes 100% absolutely. first name? maybe. 

136Do you like subway?

like the sandwich shop? fuck no! the first time i ate it i threw up. the second time was ok. and thei third time i got serious stomach cramps afterwards. it was these awful sharp shooting pains all through my stomach. 

138Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist. 

140Can you count to one million?

theoretically? yes. but will i? no 

142Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed! my closet freaks me out but the office across from my bedroom freaks me out more. and also like i dont want cats walking on my face. or to wake up at 7 am and find that my dog has taken up the very middle of the bed. 

144Curly or Straight hair?

rn? mostly straight. but when it gets longer it kinda curls a  lil. 

146Summer or Winter?

yes. i like both. dont make me choose. 

148 Favourite month?

july. thats when im born so it has to be my fav. 

150Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

152Was today a good day?

no. 

154What’s your favourite quote?

in the beginning the universe was created a lot of people regard t as a bad move. and i messed that quote up. but yeah. 

156Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

the terms braided and woven refer to the structure of the elastic. 

[gumihoni]

Ok, so a bunch of lovely people have tagged me in things and I have been very dumb and scatterbrained, but I am gonna answer them now (really only because I am still dressed like a functional human at this moment, and that is one of the questions somewhere) Happy new year! List 10 good things that happened in 2016, then tag 10 people to do the same. tagged by @dgalerab uhm, okay, I’m really trying here 1) went back to Korea and rediscovered what it feels like to have energy levels and like, be happy, and just generally my love for travelling 2) in the same vein: made the decision to go to Korea for a few months this year at least, which finally gave me some perspective 3) my brother came home for Christmas (it’s a delicate situation and the only time I’ve seen him in the last 2 1/2 years was a funeral) 4) ...fell in love with Bokuto :’) 5) i’m improving at art (it’s subtle things, but i am much faster, and slightly better at anatomy) 6) met a bunch of cool new people (a lot of them on here, too!) 7) met a few travelling friends again after 3 years 8) I didn’t lose my love for martial arts, despite being mediocre at it, after reaching the goal I set for myself (black belt) 9) saw a band I’ve liked for a loooong time in concert for the first time 10) hxh came off hiatus!!! it’s on hiatus again lmao but we got new exciting chapters! Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag people you would like to get to know better tagged by: @livecement​ and @risquetendencies 1. Nickname: Ginny works, I guess. Anything you can do with my url sounds really dumb *shrug emoji* 2. Star Sign: Gemini 3. Height: 5′1″ 4. Time rn: 11:12pm, I need to sleep soon because I agreed to take someone else’s shift :’) 5. Favourite Music Artist: The Matches, Meg & Dia, Protest the Hero, Mamamoo, The National... i want to list more because when I look at that singular there I suddenly don’t know how to read : ) 6. Song stuck in your head: since I’m listening to it right now... a Korean song: Ssaunal (Fight Day or Fight Me) by Bolbbalgan4. 7. Last Movie Watched: ...I have no idea. Possibly Phantom Rouge in German? 8. Last TV Show you watched: if it’s last episode, probably Haikyuu!!... I am bad at watching things 9. what are you wearing rn: an actual outfit!! how exciting I am a real human today! A long grey cardigan over a loose sky blue dress with a very scattered white leaf print and a lace trim, and black tights. 10. when did you create your blog: end of March 2015 11. what kind of stuff do you post: hxh, haikyuu, a lot of mental health stuff, i am sorry, memes, deep sea animals, animals idk, pretty things, a lot of stuff really 12. do you have any other blogs: i have painpackerrisingsin saved for if i ever dare to start a nsfw art blog :’) 13. Do you get asks regularly: No, and often when I get them I am convinced I mortally offended someone and they’re out to get me. (which has obv not happened ever, except for some... shitstirrers i should have blocked long ago) 14. why did you choose your username: i hate this question, i meant to lurk and chose a dumb url because i thought it didn’t matter but I hate change so I am stuck with Feitan’s hatsus (and it’s so long to type or write on stuff) 15. Gender: *Kurapika voice* what’s a gender; dfab and I don’t experience any dysphoria but I find myself caring about labels less and less 16. Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw 17. Pokemon Team: Instinct 18. Favourite colour: Periwinkle 19. Average hours of sleep: anything from 1 to 10, my life is a mess 20. lucky number: none really. I have attachments to 4, 5, 587, though. 21. Favourite character: Bokuto, Leorio, Kurogane (i have a type rip) 22. how many blankets do you sleep with: two 23. dream job: i need someone to pay me for learning languages for no one but myself :’) 24. Following: 83, but 4 of these are rou and 5 doomsday so... there’s a few other mutuals with more than one blog. I get overwhelmed when there’s too much stuff on my dash... Rule one: Always post the rules Rule two: answer the questions the person who tagged you asked and write 11 new ones Rule three: tag 11 people and link them to the post tagged by my love @sayoko0

1) Favorite color? answered up there!

2) How do you think birds communicate? tone of their singing and in more direct interactions body language?

3) Can you identify a tree from its leaves? not many, but a select few, yeah. My mom would be so disappointed.

4) If you could make a ship canon which one would it be? ughhh this hurts my heart but probably Leopika, because I need Kpeeks to be saved. It’s my angstiest ship... Kurofai is as canon as gay ships go in CLAMP and Bokuaka, there’s SOMETHING and... I don’t need it as much in the manga context, because there’s so many amazing fanworks. 5) Fav song atm? Ho boy... I’ve rediscovered Hypocrates by Marina and the Diamonds. My all time favourite is Clumsy Heart by The Matches. 6) A song that cheers you up? Butterflies Pt.II by Lana del Rey 7) A song that makes you sad? The One by Meg & Dia 8) One of your fav vines? Describe it if you don’t feel like searching for it. The one with the Korean girl, where the other girl is like “xy your bra strap is showing!!!” and she’s dancing to a song going I don’t give a fuck wearing tons of bras everywhere 9) What’s your comfort food? LASAGNA. And warm chocolate pudding. 10) I can’t think of anything else so tell me whatever you were doing before answering this, or plan to do after finishing. Answering more tag stuff because I collect them for months ;_; 11) Oh! Tell me the last weird dream you remember having. Oh my god... Okay, so, you know these people who always have these little notes and go “just be happy!!!!”, “positivity!!!”; I was silently judging them in my head, but then later had to justify myself in front of some heavenly court and hold a long speech about how I tolerate other people’s way of life even if it’s different from mine, and if that doesn’t tell you a lot about me as a person, I really don’t know. Oh yeah, there was also the dream where I got to meet Britney and had so many questions and the only thing I could get out was asking if she was planning a duet with Psy (but she was!!!). There’s more, I am really useless but I am tired and need to sleep, I will, one day, maybe get back to some of the others because they were interesting but... my energy levels are so low now. Tagging: If you tagged me in one of these, feel tagged for the others if you haven’t done them yet. Uhm, take the questions here, my brain is not functional. Also tagging: @daiousamashittykawa​, @pyro-madder​, @schwanendreher​, @sirwallahoo​, @bbmelon​, @yescabbageguystuff, @thewiselearnfromhistory, @the-smallest-kurapika uhm, anyone i’ve ever spoken to who feels like doing it? If you want to do one or none or all, just, do whatever you want, I want you to be happy ok.