#i feel so wonderful wearing it
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adrien in my outfit from a few days ago✨ feat. my claws out converse
bonus:
#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#my art#adrien agreste#chat noir#marinette dupain cheng#YAAAAY I DREW A PICTURE OF ADRIEN AGRESTE#and i haven’t even finished my homework for tomorrow. wow it feels good to be back#my claws out converse are very real and special to me.#also while i was drawing this i was just realizing that this outfit was not THAT weird of a thing for adrien to wear#and it made me wonder if i need to assess some things about how i choose my wardrobe#adrien and marinette are going to an art festival in these outfits because that is where i went in mine#anyway peace and love<3 this was so fun to draw i need to actually draw again
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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human marzi!! almost got the whole main cast designed now :o]
[image description: a page of drawings for a human design of marzipan from homestar runner, where she is depicted as a chubby woman with two prosthetic legs that is wearing a long corduroy purple skirt, a matching cardigan, and sandals. next to a fullbody drawing of her is a drawing of her original design, a drawing of her in a long purple dress, and a drawing of her in her sultry buttons costume, where she has black hair and sunglasses. end id]
#ive drawn everyone else with the same eyes they have in canon so she gets em too (even if they look a lil funky on a human)#(theyre still cute to me tho)#it was tough figuring out her clothing since putting her in like... a princess dress??? maybe?? would look silly imo#<< i say as if i still dont draw sb constantly wearing boxing gloves. the weirdo#but i feel like she would dress kinda old-school. kinda mid-30s english teacher core#or at least. like my english teachers growing up#not counting the jock lesbian one. i miss her she was cool#anyways. marzipan#based her nose off of the one she has in her ''teen'' design#wondering who i should do next. maybe coach z??#im bad at drawing him. so mayhaps i should get better#my god i Rambled. ok actual tags time now#doc talks#my art#homestar runner#hsr#h*r#marzipan hsr
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THEY AGED SO BEAUTIFULLY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
And because the reference photo was all wedding-y, I (unfortunately) started drawing a wedding version. Somehow.
#matador gothic#escapedaudios#audio rp#digital art#Timeskip#So this post had me wondering was stopping him from growing out his hair before.#And then I thought maybe he was sick of hearing people compare him to Anselmo and it only made him feel even worse after he died so… yeah#Don’t talk to me or my (other) son(s) ever again ahh parents#Yes I watched the q&a#Might as well just say Blakeley wears contacts during most missions on here
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nothing (besides everyone ignoring Orym's deal) has made me angrier than watching Dorian keep up this facade. Dorian Storm has always been a type of mask he's worn. At first he called himself a liar because of it. The happy go lucky bard was a way of escaping for him. He was escaping Brontë so he created Dorian. He didn't believe he was Dorian. Until the Crown Keepers made Dorian real. And for a while, he really believed he was Dorian. That he has this new family and new life and he could be who he truly wanted to be.
And then his brother came back and made his problems Dorian's problems. Until he had to put Brontë back on. Because even if the Crown Keepers + Cyrus called him Dorian, he was Brontë. He had to be who his brother thought he was.
When Cyrus dies, the thread to Brontë had snapped. He was going to see Orym, back to the Bells Hells, back to Dorian Storm. But the foundation of Dorian had shattered. Dorian was created in order to run from his place in life, family, Cyrus. Now he was gone. The Crown Keepers had fallen apart. His friends fell through his fingers and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He was once ready to side with a betrayer god for these people and now they're in the wind.
So Dorian shows back up to Bells Hella and he's completely broken. The foundation of both of his lives has been thoroughly rocked. No brother. No Crown Keepers. The two things that forged Dorian Storm. He wears that mask so fucking well. Because he still wants to believe in it. He said it live on stage that he should "believe his own backstory". The one he made up. The one where he was a bard.
He wants to be Dorian so bad. He spends all his money on Orym, he spins the bottle so he can kiss his friends, he flirts, he blushes and giggles at compliments. Exactly how Dorian would, should.
But he wears the gold of the heir. He has a festering animosity inside his chest. He doesn't sleep. He's thinner than he was. He doesn't sleep. He sicks abominations after their creators. He talks to God's without an ounce of self preservation, daring them to strike him down. He does not acknowledge them as they taunt him.
The god of beauty and magic calls him beautiful and he does not smile.
#silver sending stones#cr spoilers#cr 3 e 107#dorian storm#got carried away in both the post and the tags again#this was supposed to be an add on from those tags yesterday#but i went off the fucking rails so hard im gonna have to make another post#and listen.#i know people are ✨ multifaceted ✨#but i think its interesting to peel apart the layers of dorian storm.#because i do think all of this is just dorian.#like the rest of us he would not be here if not for his family. his brother. the crown keepers. bells hella.#he is informed by the things that happened in the past. none of these identities could have happened on their own#but if we're looking at the arch as a whole#theres the bronte era. the dorian era. and then era where they got very muddy. and the era now.#i dont feel like he's suddenly a secret third person now#but you know how we all look at the past versions of ourselves and wonder how theyd feel about us now?#dorian just has names for them#and because there was a mixing of both his lives i think dorian is having a hard time reconciling into one#he tries very hard to be both himselves#the man contains multitudes for sure#and idk i just keep picturing him as a little bronte. and exu dorian is smiling and singing with him. he tells him all about their friends#and current dorian looking at them. afraid to approach. afraid theyll ask about their future. afraid to tell them.#but theyd probably figure it out. hes wearing gold after all.
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Osomatsu-san x Harimaware! Koinu The Chara Shop ( 2024 )
#i don't know anything about hari koinu but the art and poses here were too cute not to share#plus i'll always appreciate crossover stuff where they pair them w/ charas that share their seiyuu#i wonder if these are the character designs they're going with for s4 tho 🤔#it feels more in-line with s2 and the movie's character designs which i'm a big fan of so i'll be happy if that's the case#this also made me realize kara wears skinny jeans. of course he would. god.#the characters he's with are wolves too which is so fitting i love it#totty's art is kinda my fave tho. i adore their energy they're killing it#osmt#osomatsu-san#osomatsu#harimaware! koinu#osomatsu matsuno#karamatsu#karamatsu matsuno#choromatsu#choromatsu matsuno#ichimatsu#ichimatsu matsuno#jyushimatsu#jyushimatsu matsuno#todomatsu#todomatsu matsuno#official#transparents
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glamtober #08 - ilsabard
this glam has been on my mind since i started leveling sage, and i just got the ravel keeper's wings to finish the look! i love how breezy and vibrant it feels. io's time in thavnair means so much to her, and this chest piece is one she'd treasure.
items used:
head: emperor's new hat body: palaka vest of healing (blood red) hands: isle vacationer's wrist torques (snow white | N/A) legs: astral silk bottoms of healing (snow white) feet: isle shepherd's sandals (undyed)
#ffxivglamtober2024#azia gposes#io laithe#i feel like the colors are too bright here but it's fine. i was tired of adjusting presets#i love this hair on her too but the back is SO long. i scaled it to be a lot shorter but i'm wondering if i can figure it out in blender#for a permanent solution#anyway. at any given time io is wearing the isle shepherd's sandals. her go-to comfy shoes tbh
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That feeling when he can't stand to see you that way, no matter what you do, no matter what you say😩😭💔
#scott pilgrims precious little life#scott pilgrim vs the world#spvtw#spto#scott pilgrim#wallace wells#lisa miller#scollace#kim pine#natalie adams#envy adams#don't rlly know if I like how this turned out but oh well;;;#hope its obvious that this is based on the song “Scott Pilgrim” which the creation the comics were inspired from#the lyrics always make me think of Wallace and Lisa's feelings for Scott every time I hear it#ofc you could also relate it to Kim especially since the singers voice kind of reminds me of her#but overall the lyrics fit these two much better since Scott never truly “saw them that way” despite how long they've liked him#and they always seem happier to see him compared to Kim#Im surprised tho that I havent yet seen anyone draw these two together now that their dialogue parallels have been acknowledged more lately#also tho I wish more people pointed out that they both got cucked by red heads LOL#and Kim and Envy actually do look really similar when scott first meets them#makes me wonder if Scott subconsciously went for Envy since she reminded him of Kim (which would be fitting given that you could argue that#Envy dated Scott because he reminded her of Todd. Since he and Scott are confirmed to be meant to be seen as similar to one another#so much so that even their first and last names rhyme#last thing I'll add tho is that while Wallace and Lisa are very similar even personality wise#the one big difference is that despite that whole conclusion on vol4 of Scott not cheating on Ramona with Lisa because he loves her#the writers apparently think it would be “organically correct” for him to have an affair with wallace LMAO#but I guess we shouldn't be surprised since Wallace and Ramona are both in the front of the official valentines art which is clearly#a deptiction of Scotts wet dream or smth (oh and you could also argue that Wallace and Lisa parallel on that art since they're both#shirtless with white socks.. which could be a reference to how lisa wears skimpy clothes for Scott and Wallace often only wears boxers#to like sexually frustrate Scott for fun or smth
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Tis a TRAGEDY!! /lh
At the start of every month, the official JP Kirby portal site loads up with all the new merch we can expect that season. And at the start of every month (g-give or take a day) Dess peruses it for items of interest. ...Typically Marx and or Magolor.
BUT WHAT SHOULD I FIND THIS TIME!?
THEY'VE BEEN SEPARATED!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Marx and Magolor, known for years for sneaking onto merch together in suspicious ways, now make an appearance on this "Kirby and friends" (lolol) sticker pack on utterly separate sheets!
...I shall cry. It's too cruel...
(Fufufu. Still, how should I take this piece of merch's branding? OUR Marx? Upgraded to a "nakama-tachi?" Still, I think it's funny that he's about as "friendly" as a Gordo. At least we had a Waddle Doo helper in Star Allies! "Kirby and Friends who will stab or shoot you. Or both, in Marx's case!" ...Gordo friend... Gordo friend...)
IN OTHER NEWS...
...the long awaited [Animal] plush is coming out! (Animal gets a tiny plastic figurine too!) Which I know will excite some people! The fur looks super fuzzy too! (...DMK? Mage Sisters? Who??)
Lastly, Marx finally makes a long awaited return (in reference form) to the Kirby Cafe (take-out vers.) since the sad disappearance of the shockingly gorey Marx-themed Eggplant and Meat Pasta and his amazing themed drink, le Mariage êntre Mensonges et Vérité
That's right! It's the "Popstar Blueberry ~ Milky Way Wishes" cake! And I love the use of the deep blue mirror (?) glaze with what could be edible gold sprinkles or just kinako powder for the stars XD
...Less excited about the blueberry filling but that's just me!
#Kirby#Kirby Marx#Magolor#Dess Text Post#Kirby Cafe#I wonder how -Elfilin- feels about being paired with Magolor as a friend so much lately? Elfie's so earnest and sweet and Magolor is...#...Well Magolor is Magolor XD#Animal Kirby friends celebrate!!#...Gordo Friend Gordo Friend Gordo Friend...#The 'Dream Team' stickers look cute. Like little talking portraits you'd see in an RPG!#...Should we call them the 'Daydream Team' when they replace Bandee with Generic Waddle Dee? XD#Or maybe we should accept that it IS still Bandee...he's just doing laundry that day?!#Maybe he only wears the bandanna when he senses adventure on the way? The rest of the time he goes without!#It's like a reverse Clark Kent! Bandee's been here the whole time! We just never noticed!!#...edited to trim down the photos some!#Long post
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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I would also like to see some miphlink, if that's okay!
I was really struggling with what to draw, and then I remembered your ask from ages ago (dang ADHD brain...) anyway, sorry its such a late answer, but Miphlink inspired by Dicksee's La Belle Dame
#thank you so so much for the ask stars!! I had completely forgotten about it (I'm so so sorry!!) and it saved me from an artist-not-arting#you know the sort of pent up unpleasant feeling you get when you need to do something creative but its not happening and then its sad?#yeah I didn't get that because your ask suddenly popped into my head! so very happy about that :) thank you!#link is a horse girl and we need more of it in life#also to try and get the flowy fabric look that Dicksee's La Belle Dame has without putting Link in a dress I decided to modify Mipha's fins#and then added some of that gorgeous salmon colour from the original piece#also the reason the reason the champions tunic etc have that grey tinge to it is because the knight was wearing armour in the original piec#with a beautiful duckegg blue grey colour and I thought including that might be fun too!#anyway#the couple that is perfect for one another and should always be together for all time: Mipha and Link#mipha#link#botw#creativesplat draws#breath of the wild#miphlink#lipha#I really need to catch up on the miphlink tag... its so exciting to have so much wonderful art and writing to look through but I am a rathe#busy/ adhd forgetful bean so whenever I get round to reading or looking at art... there will be a long reblog/ queue of miphlink stuff!#eventually#at some point#because fashionably late (coughjustlatecough) is my middle name!#enough rambling sorry#I love drawing miphlink its like a comfort drawing thing#like her head is so squidgy and so easy to doodle so if ever my brain is bored or I want to draw and need happy hormones but can't find the#mipha is the answer because the squishy head is just sooooo good#the designers of mipha were amazing and I love them#epona#tloz#zelda
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Bad Batch As Things My Parents Do While Driving
Hunter- Will hit a curb at full speed and will be like “that curb just came out of nowhere!”
Wrecker- Playing music at full blast and singing or at least nodding/dancing along
Tech- Gets oddly personal and creative when roasting other drivers that are irritating him
Crosshair- Gets mad and calls another driver a “stupid fuck” or a “stupid fucking fuck”
Echo- Randomly drops some insane lore or knowledge in the middle of the car ride.
Omega- Points out all the doggies
#for tech being personal it’s so funny because someone cuts one of them off#and all of a sudden ‘wow this person with diplomat plates cant drive no wonder we’re having foreign policy issues’ like WHAT#no but mom completely OBLITERATED a curb and claims it just came out of nowhere and then insisted that the tires must have been poor quality#on wrecker’s point it is very funny when the music doesn’t match their appearance of what you would think they’d like#I feel like Wrecker would love Kesha and Chappell Roan and you wouldn’t think that because he’s a big tough guy#same vibes as my dad wearing a button down and khakis and singing along to Jay Z on the way to his office#star wars tbb#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch#tbb crosshair#arc trooper echo#tbb tech#tbb echo#tbb hunter#tbb wrecker#tbb omega
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I figured it'd be fun to toss out the species I headcanon some crew members as.
Left -> Right: Bastila as a Kessurian & Theelin hybrid, Atton as a Cathar, Mira as a Rodian, Mical as a Pantooran, and Kreia as a Togruta. (Kotor Week Day 3: The Crew of the Ebon Hawk)
#idk if anyone else feels this way#i just think Star Wars needs more aliens#also if you're wondering what Bastila is wearing#that's based on some old concept art#which had her in this rad old cowboy duster that was red#kotor#knights of the old republic#kotor 2#Bastila#atton rand#mira#mical#kreia#kotor week#kotor week 2024#my art#finished this pretty late so posting the next day yaaay
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I decided to start talking about Wick and Rocky's relationship because I like their dynamics too, I like seeing Wick scared of Rocky and Rocky being aggressive with him, which is unusual because Rocky is rarely aggressive with anyone, but of course Wick is an exception to rule
Also my mini opinion about their possible relationship, I think that if Rocky didn't have to fight for his place, then he and Wick could become friends, or at least tolerate each other a little, I also see some superficial similarities, their gentlemanly and romantic natures, and their common love for explosions (remembering the quarrymen chapter), but this is my assumption, I think that I don't understand the characters' personalities well, so I can be wrong in this assumption, something like that. So, what do you think about their relationship?
for starters, i cannot thank you enough for this ask! as i’ve said previously, i have many thoughts on these two, so it’s nice to finally be able to share some of them. although given the extent to which i think about them, i apologize in advance if this is sloppy and sort of everywhere … while i’ll try to structure things the best i can, i cannot promise i’ll succeed! but hopefully this is an enjoyable reply nonetheless.
one of my favorite things about rocky and wick’s relationship is absolutely how aggressive rocky is towards the aristocrat ; he is prone to glares and cruel jokes and borderline hissing whenever the man is within his line of sight, or can be brought to a wailing-fit over the mere mention of his name from miss m’s mouth. there is a childishness to it, but a very prominent threat as well in spite of rocky’s usual incompetence. so he goes out of his way to posture around wick, readily lying and adorning himself with the gangster drapes he so badly wants to wear, in the hopes that it intimidates … will even badmouth wick’s family and make fun of his name and rock related obsession to mitzi, and so on so forth! yet all of this is very reminiscent of schoolyard bullying rather than anything too severe, though we as the audience understand rather quickly that rocky would bash wick’s head in with a tire iron if he could. ( translation : if it wouldn’t earn the tears or hate of a certain beloved mitzi may ) and it’s all very intense despite the absence of actual violence! and i understand why many fans see this as unusual for rocky and believe that it’s only wick who makes him act so aggressively, but i’d argue it isn’t really wick at all that prompts such scary reactions from him … and that rocky is a deeply angry character who’s a.) been boiling quietly for a long, long time and b.) has turned wick into a punching bag of sorts for this inner world of resentment and hurt. basically, when he’s judging the well-to-do or poking fun, his eyes don’t look at wick and actually acknowledge him as sedgewick sable ; instead this is a being, something vague and metaphorical, who threatens to upseat rocky’s permanence in the lackadaisy and steal away his savior, and he’s had a hand in the violinist’s misfortune for a long time.
obviously, rocky doesn’t think wick robbed him of his family twice over and made him homeless, but he is channeling the fear and anguish of those events into his loathing for wick, if that makes sense? it’s easier that way -- to finally have an outlet for everything bleeding inside of you, to be able to bite and claw at something without feeling conflicted or having to take personal accountability for your own mistakes … which is something that i think rocky does struggle with to a degree. he is sort of a finger pointer! his pain has to be worth something, it has to be for someone else ; spending years homeless and losing his last bit of family was for freckle, and the scrambling of his literal brain was for mitzi, and that means he can’t ever be angry with them! well, except that he is, somewhat, but he buries it deep down instead of feeling it. with freckle there is a sense of strain between them -- an air of ‘you owe me’ from rocky to freckle as he uses freckle to appease miss m, and he constantly pokes fun at his cousin too. it’s lighter than his jabs at wick, but there’s a constant pestering, a reminder of how good freckle has it : how he’s got the mom and the house and the job and the girl most notably. i don’t think rocky is intending to come across as mean, and to his credit he hardly does! but it’s rather clear to me that some part of him, some hidden and deeply hurt part, is rather indignant about taking the fall for freckle all those years ago. which he can’t understand, because how could he? he made that choice, he decided to take accountability for something he didn’t do because he loves freckle and knows it’d be so easy to believe this family tragedy was roark’s fault ; the devilish child he was, all troublesome and too broken to properly fit anywhere. so there is a disconnect born here, where rocky can’t comprehend that he’d be angry at freckle, so instead these not so great feelings are placed elsewhere and silently boil over time. and with mitzi … i don’t think he’s angry at her per se, but there is a frustrated and desperate chorus of : why him and why not me, when i’m the one out here dying for you? which is certainly unpleasant. of course, rather than allowing those feelings to be more aimed at miss m, whom he feels unloved by, he ( again! ) represses these emotions and allows them to fester into his greatest fears and fantastical complexes. i think there is a lot of other miscellaneous anger he could have towards others too … perhaps some part of him is sore upon seeing ivy’s normal lifestyle, watching her go to university and knowing that’s been taken from him. or an ache felt when hearing stories from zib and the band and how they used to travel successfully, living as nomads, and rocky is all too reminded of his similar lifestyle and how he couldn’t make it work as effortlessly. people with immense trauma are more prone to irrational anger and jealousy, to viewing everything around them as unfair and believing it’s even more unjust that so many people get to live comfortably while they’ve suffered. a situation that gets more messy when you’re someone like rocky, a man who’s willingly made choices that have harmed himself and wants to continue on with his smiling, bumbling fool of an act. he does not want to be angry, does not want to see it within himself, i think, which leads to an accidental increase of it.
all of this is to reiterate that wick is a scapegoat for rocky and nothing more. it’s why he’s rather hypocritical whenever it concerns the man. for example, it was stated by tracy that he looks down upon wick for his excessive presence at the bar, yet he appears to enjoy hanging out with zib -- who drinks just as often! he makes fun of how all wick ever talks about is rocks, when he himself is prone to poetry rambles that people find irritating or boring, and etc etc. this is also just a human nature thing, to critique someone you heavily dislike and even going as far as to belittle things you love or do in your own day to day because you just hate them that bad! but given rocky’s willingness to befriend anyone, it more so reeks of a dehumanization element. wick is every obstacle in his way, every divine force that threatens to send him packing again, so he is equal parts unnerved by wick’s presence and angry about it. it is mostly a fear response we are seeing, an emotion that’s morphed into long held resentment and anger. so his actions are extremely defensive, with him trying to push wick far away and keep him and mitzi separate, like some sort of animal attempting to ward off a threat that’s come too close to their home. despite the loaded animosity there, this hate has hardly reached its peak … but it shall only grow more intense as things continue onward i’m afraid, since as it stands ( in the comic at least ) rocky is at an all time low … and is ten times more desperate. i’d honestly say wick has become so warped in his mind’s eye that he can only strive towards ‘winning’ over the other man, because that’s all he can see anymore. i think mitzi implying that wick willingly helped her out, the intense head injury, and rocky’s fragile emotional state is exactly what pushes him towards premeditated murder in look-see. i don’t know how people perceive that arc, but to me it’s very clear that rocky actively sought to see the deaths of wes and fish that night. going as far as to lament that he’d be, “very disappointed if ( he ) dreamed them,” and purposefully luring the marigold duo away to have freckle pick them off. while you could argue that this was a smart move, in a gangster sort of sense, there’s still no denying that rocky is oddly chipper about the whole thing and is now seeking death out ; whereas before his methods of vengeance were just, well, ruining people’s livelihood but ultimately leaving them alive. this isn’t to discredit the fact that rocky is going through something! he is in a very muddled and dark place, mentally and physically, but even tracy has said that the head injury hasn’t changed rocky’s personality -- it’s only brought things to the surface.
source : q&a with tracy .
which, yeah! makes sense! head trauma can cause a person to become a wreck emotionally ( think mood swings, irritability, etc ) but it doesn’t completely morph someone either. personality changes may occur, but it’s not like you’re being rewritten entirely, you know? and given tracy’s old statement, it’s clear that ‘personality changes’ aren’t a side effect he’s suffering from. something that adds to my beginning statement, which is that rocky is a deeply angry and troubled person, more so than fans give him any credit for.
however, to touch upon your mini opinion about these two, i actually wholeheartedly agree that rocky and wick could become friends if circumstances were different. they do in fact have many superficial similarities, but one of the more prominent things they deeply share is never really belonging in the groups they frequent. this is more overt with rocky’s character, yet wick faces it too in subtle ways. the well-to-do crowd, seen through the investors, find the gentleman to be lacking in about every place imaginable ; to them he is an obsessive freak who cares too deeply for meager rocks, something they constantly mock him for, while he’s also being noticeably set apart from the rest of them … he seems younger than the investors, more excitable, passionate, and a little less experienced, and doesn’t seem to care for money or reputation as much as them either. there is a constant rubbing between him and them, where what he enjoys is seen as wrong, such as his love for the lackadaisy and his choice in paramor, a grieving widow with extremely dangerous ties. we also know that wick doesn’t have many friends at all, with the only two he has being lacy and church ( church is listed as such on his character profile, in a sort of tongue-in-cheek way ), both of whom work for or with him. they are obliged to hang around, and while they care in varying ways, they are prone to judging him just as much. honestly, it’s not shocking that wick seeks refuge at his chosen speakeasy! but even there he is rather distant from everyone else. he doesn’t speak to zib ever in the comics, nor seems all too close with viktor, ivy, or horatio … it is merely mitzi he is close to, even if he knows of the other people who work there. and, once again, wick very obviously doesn’t fit in. he is not gangster material, could never be an atlas may replacement, much less someone who could get his paws dirty in such an active way. so he has his feet in two different worlds and doesn’t know how to fit into either of them, or which one he actually wants to fit into more. i think in many ways rocky could relate -- these are two very lonely people who wish to belong somewhere and be accepted by some group or another but go about it in all the wrong ways. wick, who is too hesitant to fully commit to what he wants and is worse off for it, and then rocky, who obsessively throws himself against what he wants until he breaks every bone in his body. they also have explosives to bond over, lol, and other miscellaneous things like their taste in women i suppose … but this potential bond adds to the tragedy of lackadaisy, where we see two people who on every level should get along but we’re burdened with the knowledge that it’s an impossibility anyway, because there’s no removing the circumstance of which they’re in.
though i like to believe that despite wick’s fear of rocky, he maintains a kindness towards him regardless. i think his worries about rocky are rather surface level … he doesn’t know the boy at all, really, and thus can’t make heads or tails of him, hence him believing the lie in balderdash. so when i’m feeling particularly self indulgent, i like imagining a world where they’re forced together and sort of ‘stuck’ together ; to which rocky finally breaks and exposes his wounds to wick, in every sense of the word, and wick finally gets him. the aggression, the possessiveness of mitzi … it is all fear and desperation and a profound sadness, things he’d sympathize with. if rocky was able to explain that he loathes wick because if he saves the lackadaisy then mitzi won’t need him anymore and that it’s not fair that wick gets to so easily fix things when rocky would give his soul for his home, for her, and how wick could render every sacrifice he’s already made for naught by smoothing things over with some greenbacks and he can’t lose this, he just can’t --! … which, well, wick is too kind of a man to be able to do anything except feel awful, even though it’s not his fault at all. here we have two people who could coexist! and they should, since rocky logically can’t do every speakeasy job ( band member, rumrunner, mitzi’s shadow, also the guy who gets the money for the hooch ) by himself, just like how wick can’t save the lackadaisy with only his cash and limited booze stash. it’d be a joint cooperation, a collaboration between them, both equally important in the grand scheme of crime’s every turning wheel … but rocky’s rage and fear won’t let him see that, and likely never will. still, in scenarios where everything ends up alright for the lackadaisy and the people involved in it ( which is not how canon will go, by the way ), i fancy wick and rocky getting better within their relationship. rocky will always be prickly and quick to upset around the other man sadly, but perhaps he could see wick in a softer kind of light. or at least understand vaguely enough that he isn’t out to get rocky, so to speak. and then maybe wick learns that pancakes soothe rocky’s ire and poorly makes them anytime he wishes to talk to the man, and other fun things like that! but you should have more confidence in your character analysis skills, because you were spot on ( at least in my eyes ) about them potentially getting along if things were different. it’s certainly a fun aspect to play around with, and is important to note when discussing their relationship so you can fully understand just how warped rocky’s perspective on things are. and how unstable and traumatized he is too, of course </3 sidenote, but i also hope that throughout everything i’ve said here, or anything i’ve said before on my blog, that my love for rocky and my own sympathy for him comes across well enough. while he’s deeply flawed and i have no qualms discussing said flaws in depth, i also don’t think of him as some insane freak who’s evil at his core or anything like that. honestly, i adore analyzing him so much as a character because of how far down his issues go! he’s very well written, i’ll say, as is wick and many of the other characters, but i digress.
once more, thank you for the ask! i’ll end this here because i fear if i don’t i’ll start going in circles, since their relationship is so vast and very important for rocky in a character sense. hopefully i shed some more light on it though! i love these two to bits and pieces and i wouldn’t be half as invested in lackadaisy if their dynamic wasn’t so monumental -- at least to me.
#my asks.#lackadaisy analysis.#lackadaisy#rocky rickaby#sedgewick sable#tracy j butler#i also think rocky’s sudden taste for marigold blood is him making marigold his other scapegoat#he isn’t dealing with anything in a healthy manner and is so traumatized it’s starting to spill out of him … which is. uh. not good!!#but it sure is what’s currently happening regardless#cannot stress enough that rock is a very ill and traumatized individual who hasn’t had a single break in his life#he is constantly in stressful situations that are dangerous … and like.#when you’re constantly put in those situations you become numb. and angry. and it becomes hard to heal#or to truly connect to others … etc#i could talk in depth about rocky’s traumas and why they’ve caused this anger issue and this inner disharmony inside#because frankly there’s a lot there! and i hate to say it but people who are hurt normally show their hurt in ugly ways#especially if mentally ill … which rocky is imo#it’s just the reality of things! this isn’t me demonizing mental illness or the effects of trauma. i’m just being realistic here#someone as deeply troubled as rocky ( someone with NO outlet and whom hides his feelings from others and himself )#is bound to be. well. troubled!! his smiling facade is merely another mask he wears to cope and to be good for the people he loves#it is not … really rocky rickaby … rocky rickaby is that and the wrath and the self destruction and more#AHEM but i digress. how rocky treats wick and all that has really done wonders for understanding his character#and i truly love the wick / rocky / mitzi trio so bad. their relationships with each other is what drew me into this world#like. i am shaking them so much. the overlap!! the complexities inherit in their bonds and what that says about the individual characters!#it’s amazing truly lol like … i have had such fun thinking about them twenty four seven for the past three-ish months#anyway. anyway! i love analyzing these bitches. they can fit so much into them#and i’m rooting for wickmitzi endgame and for wick to desperately try to bond with rocky … while his bloodshot eye is twitching as we speak#lots of fun!!! lots of pain and agony too … rocky is nothing but a painful character alas. that is his nature. but that is also his appeal#and ooops i’ll shut up in the tags now i just. have a lot to say. and a lotta love to give to these two!! but uh. yeah <3 loved writing thi
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Follow-up to this post from yesterday: I made it through the surgery! Had something of a rough time in recovery, as my body is not used to narcotics/anesthesia, but very happy that I got to go home last night and didn't have to stay over at the hospital. Also incredibly relieved to report that they didn't have to remove one of my ovaries! I was so afraid of surgery for a long time, but I am beyond grateful that every nurse and team member was so kind and professional and answered all of my questions. I don't think I fully processed everything that happened until today, as I did not cry once yesterday, but I did finally cry this afternoon. Feeling sore right now and standing up from sitting is nothing less than an exercise in masochism, but so, so happy with how well things went. And my absolute heartfelt thanks to everyone who left such encouraging, kind comments on my other post--it means more than you could ever possibly know... ❤️
#personal post#and i did use the mantra i mentioned and it did indeed help#as did celebrating little victories along the way#it was overwhelming but also gratifying to know that i could get through it#even though everything was so new: new people; setting; experiences#there was a wonderful woman in the OR though who hugged me and helped me to take deep breaths#and i felt safer somehow knowing she was there#even though wearing too-big hospital clothes with no underwear underneath is a strange feeling#but i am so grateful to everyone who reached out in comments and DMs#thank you all you lovely people for being here#<3
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unhinged observation - we all know their colours don't match the traditional ones, but I've never noticed before that on the portraits they put Jeff in red and Virgil in green, but then they swap them over when we actually see them. In fact, //pause while Len goes to look// when they're in TB3, they're all wearing red - like all the space-rated suits, specifically are red. //Goes to check again// and Gordon and Virg are in green with TB2 in the opening rescue to match Jeff as well.
Does that mean, in 2004 verse, they wear whichever colour matches the 'bird they're currently flying because other than them needing 5 suits each... that's pretty cool can't lie good for them
ignoring the fact they look the same, I can be like ??? well yellow must be wetsuits, red is space rated?? Green is ?? tougher maybe, blue is for however many G's TB1 hits a body with when they're going crazy speeds, orange is a spacesuit for living in space etc etc
#Thunderbirds 2004#It's like they're saying 'yeah Jeff's the astronaut' with the portraits which is VERY important to me personally in life#Alan you get yellow bc your first rescue used tb4 congrats ur officially a lil sunshine baby#John you get orange bc you have carrot hair in ur future look out man#Or just bc tb5 has that orange stripe#but it's probably the hair right#Were you all expecting a detailed analysis of the 2004 movie from me this week I bet you werent but here you go!#I've been under a rock for like a year and that tbirds concert hit me with a stick and it's so nice to ???? feel like myself ?????#hello hyperfixation I've missed you#I wonder if swapping colours causes trouble in the field - like - 'that nice man in green helped me!' 'who tf was wearing green today????'#It also implies that they can all fly all of the Thunderbirds whenever needed#which is very practical of them#I love the classic TOS Space Monitor rotation#but I guess orange John has the //handwaves the science// spaaaaace elevator#to rock up home whenever he likes in TAG so there's less need for it
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