#i just think Star Wars needs more aliens

[sessjudoodles]

I figured it'd be fun to toss out the species I headcanon some crew members as.

Left -> Right: Bastila as a Kessurian & Theelin hybrid, Atton as a Cathar, Mira as a Rodian, Mical as a Pantooran, and Kreia as a Togruta. (Kotor Week Day 3: The Crew of the Ebon Hawk)

[connecting-the-stars]

I’m having thoughts! A shocker I know!

Thinking about drafting a dabble with @deniigi “Pumpkin Spice Latte flavors of Codywan”

Particularly: Posh!Obi-wan and Secret Chaos Element!Cody

Follows Cody and Obi-Wan through the Clone Wars as they attempt to live up to the expectations of their titles. Cody’s vehement distrust of the generals in charge of the war and Obi-wan’s aloof and flirty mask that covers his heart of gold, Obi-wan looking to make a bridge and peel back the onion layers that are the Commander and Cody looking to make an itemized list of weaknesses for contingency plans and rationalize the irrational actions of the Jedi. With each battle and death toll, they size the other up finding more than either of them signed up for. It’s about faith, trust, and humility.

It’s grown to include more crack than i had expected and I kind of love that. Though, I had spun the original concept with a darker tone that focused on the burdens of titles and enduring the galaxy when war steers the entirely of your life. Also a big helping of Propaganda and Jedi regarded as Untouchable Myths by the public. And Cody and his brothers struggles to see themselves as more than weapons when their lives are shackled to their blasters and grenades, confined into the neat boxes the Kaminoans designed.

I keep backpedaling though, because I’m really fond of the ideas I’ve conjured for crack and humor, but I am still unable to let go on the darker tone and an exploration of personhood/burdens of expectations.

In my head I feel like it’s too tonally jarring. But on the opposite side, I’ve read a handful of great fics that are so enjoyable because they balance humor and darker themes. (Literally listened to a pod fic till 4am because of the crack treated seriously and dark topics: CHTHONIC by catboydogma highly recommend)

[broke-on-books]

Okay so. I have never ever done this before and have NO idea what I'm doing but I was bored at work and made an artfight account. Anyways my name on there is Swishyyellow so like if you're on there. That's me (also tell me what you guyses names are) so um yeah. <3333 peace and love on planet earth etc.

[fandomnerd9602]

Hypothesis

Nerdy!Natasha Romanoff x Geek!Reader

Avengers High

Attraction has long been defined as when two opposite forces were brought together. In the case of Natasha Romanoff, a shy, introverted nerd at Avengers High, she was still looking for her opposite half.

No one really noticed her as she moved down the hallways of the high school campus. To most she was a face that blended in. She didn’t stand out to anyone. Well she did stand out to you.

She was your best friend. Calm, kind, and loving, you always saw the diamond that she always was. Her heart spoke volumes to yours. You were a geek, always obsessed with Star Wars or James Bond. There is a difference between geeks and nerds. But yet Natasha was always by your side for hangouts after school.

Natasha, despite all the logic, all the incalculable data that she had about chemistry with another person, found her heart fluttering each time you watched a Bond movie with her. Each time you smiled. Every time you cheered her up when the popular gals looked down on her or called her ugly duckling.

“It’s not calculable! The data doesn’t work!” Natasha bemoaned to her lab partner, Maria.

“What?” Maria groans, “is this about your love equation?”

“My equation of total compatibility.” Natasha answered back. “I ran simulations of Steve and I and then of Y/N and I.”

“And?” Maria looks with a bemused grin.

“It says Steve and I should be compatible but I don’t feel anything when I’m near him.”

“And (Y/N)?” Maria smirks.

“It says we have zero compatibility but yet…” Natasha huffs. “I-I think I’m in love with my best friend.”

“Oh Nattie,” Maria chuckles, “love isn’t something you quantify or try to put some equation to. Maybe what need is to test your hypothesis”

“Test? How?”

“Find out if you get sparks or butterflies when you kiss (Y/N)”

“But what if I screw up the only good friendship I have?!” Natasha nearly shouts in the middle of physics class.

“What if it becomes something amazing?” Maria asks, leaving the topic at that.

It was a dangerous game: testing such a hypothesis. On one hand, if her equation was accurate, she might lose your friendship. And if it was proven false, then she’d lose a bit of credibility, at least in her own eyes.

Such a hypothesis test came that night as you and her were watching an old James Bond movie on your couch.

“Geez how does James end up with all these girls?” Natasha asked jokingly.

“Maybe he’s secretly an alien with a powerful pheromone level?” You shrugged.

Natasha paused the movie and turned to you. “I need your help.”

“Sure! What’s up?” You flashed her a quick smile.

“I-I need to test something.” She bit her lip nervously. “Just close your eyes”

You happily obeyed. Natasha leaned in and kissed your lips. The mere touch sent sparks and shivers up and down her whole body.

Your eyes shot open. It was perfect.

Natasha pulled back a blushing, stuttering mess of a teenager. “I-I…umm…wow”

“Yeah. Wow.” You smiled, giggling a little too. “So how was your hypothesis?”

“I’m so happy to prove my equation of compatibility wrong.” She giggles.

“Maybe us being friends interferes with it somehow.” You smirked. “Maybe requires further testing.”

Hypothesis are usually proven or disproven thru various tests, Natasha thought.

“Further testing is required,” she giggles before jumping into your lap, kissing you repeatedly.

Natasha Romanoff. She was your best friend, your favorite nerd. And the love of your life. You and her still kept resting whether or not her equation was correct or not. The equation was put thru tests of dating, proposal, marriage, and eventually children.

Natasha was never more happy than to disprove her own hypothesis of compatibility. You and her, despite the data, were just perfect for each other.

Tags: @aloneodi @abimess @lifespectator @russianredassassin @revanshand @pinklawyerwinnerzonk @multi-fandom-enjoyer @jacenradio7 @scarletquake-n7 @supercorpdanbeau @iiconicsfan25 @iamnicodemus

[disconnectedkat]

On Judging Older Rep By Today's Standards

This wall of text inspired by this take that bioware are pussies for not having an all-pan romance cast until Veilguard. This idea that all past representation is mediocre or bad because today's is better is very irksome. I'm irked.

To begin, a little history:

Bioware has been including queer romance in their games since the early 2000s. First in 2004, when they released Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. This game had a character you could recruit named Juhani. Juhani would become the first LGBTQ+ Star Wars character. She could be romanced by a female player character, though it basically amounted to a couple lines of dialogue. Why so little? Because it was 2004 and they practically had to sneak even that much in.

In 2007, Mass Effect 1 released. This game had arguably the 'safest' queer rep, an attractive woman kissing and having a fade-to-black implied sex scene with another attractive (alien) woman. A while later a mainstream media outlet (Fox News, you may have heard of them) ran a hit piece on the game. They ran the usual stuff, degenerate porn simulator, think of the children, etc. This was a big deal, as having a mainstream, large and popular (unfortunately) news channel targeting your game is not great for several reasons.

Keep in mind this was the, again, arguably the safest queer rep you could go for, and it still received that level of attack.

In 2009 Dragon Age: Origins released. Not much to say here, some time had passed and DA managed to avoid the targeted hate that Mass Effect received, despite having a bisexual man and woman as romantic options.

Mass Effect 2 is believed to have suffered the most from the Fox News debacle. Jack was originally planned as a pansexual character, and while I don't recall if the devs have stated exactly why that was cut, the obvious guess is they feared another round of attacks.

Alrighty, history recap over. Now to address the issue:

"They should've done it years ago." Well, they actually did with DA2 and it received a good amount of flak. Because that was 2010, and this is 2024. Representation is a social thing. It changes and grows as we do. In 2004 Juhani, with a minimal amount of actual content, became the first LGBT Star Wars character. You do what you can and try to push the envelope a little more each time. People struggled and fought for all that old rep you see as not good enough by today's standards.

"They bowed to the bigots because of money." Games, and all media, take money to create. They then need to make money to create more. There would be no Veilguard without the successes of previous games. And unfortunately, in the past that sometimes meant choosing your battles. Frustration is understandable, but misplaced.

None of this is to say that Bioware, (or any company or media, this post is just focusing on them) is beyond reproach as long as they're trying. There will always be things to criticise, and areas to improve, of course. But that isn't what I'm seeing here.

This to me is indicative of a common sentiment I've been seeing far too often in queer and leftist spaces recently, people judging older rep by today's standards and decrying it and it's creators without understanding the history.

[bunny-jpeg]

https://www.tumblr.com/bunnys-kisses/768349619894861824/im-holding-your-hand-when-im-saying-this-as-a?source=share

people started asking crane (Max’s friend) on stream if Lestappen (Charles and max) is real. I think he was like “I shouldn’t be furthering/entertaining this” (I forgot what he said word for word). People took it as something to be excited about, that the drivers are aware of the ships and all, but idk. I think fandoms are getting too bold for my liking. I have no problem with shipping, but this parasocial behaviour is out of hand. I saw this when 1D was still a group (with Harry x Louis shippers harassing Louis to the point where he got so upset when the ship was referenced in the popular show Euphoria), I’ve seen it with Kpop in which idols have stopped hanging out publicly because fandoms get out of hand (a girl in the group Aespa had a boyfriend earlier this year and fans got very upset because they shipped her and another member and they broke up. A few years ago, 2 members of two different kpop groups (SNSD and EXO) dated and the girl got harassed at the airport even). And now this.

Fandoms get so parasocial so quickly, it’s insane. It’s not new behaviour, but it’s strange.

exactly, this isn't new behavior. but i feel like it's become more emboldened with how much more "online" both fans and companies/groups are.

more under the cut, because this is a long one....

i also think it ties into this notion that i've been seeing online about how fans have this feeling to be "right" both with rpf and fiction as well. that their theories, opinions and whatever else is "correct". i've seen this with like pieces of media like steven universe and even star wars. like fandom isn't fun anymore, it has become this weird one up over each other. i honestly don't know when this changed, my guess is around the pandemic when it seemed like people were more logged into the internet. but, i could be wildly off with that. (if you have an idea, i'd love to know). it just feels stupid in so many ways how fandoms are structured. even if you're not the "best" artist or writer, people can't have FUN in fandom - of course that doesn't mean it has to be absolved criticism. you can have fun and still call out hate within spaces. the issue with formula one (along with k-pop like you mentioned, anon), is that these aren't characters. this isn't arguing in the tags over is finnpoe or reylo is more valid or legitimate within the narrative. these are REAL people, with REAL friends, families and partners.

it's this weird push to have someone's theory - and while i have a soft spot for lestappen, it is at the end of the day nothing more than fan theory - be confirmed. also personally, if hattie (oscar's sister) or crane (max's friend) "outed" them, i would be horribly fucking offended on oscar/max's behalf. to have someone you TRUST just out you like that. it's sick. maybe it's because i worked in queer spaces from high school all the way through uni, and the number one rule no matter WHAT, is you never out someone. even if the question is harmless and the person asking has no ill intention. you never out another person, because it's not YOUR coming out. so the fact that fans are near begging these people to OUT their loved ones, is not only a level of delusion that i can't ever comprehend. but, also it could honestly, ruin that interpersonal relationship.

so like even if a driver is queer, whoever it may be. could be a driver from the 90s, could be a driver today, it could be a driver in five years, i don't want someone else in their life outing them. because that's THEIR story. and fans need to realize that. bothering crane or hattie or alexandra (i've seen that too) - isn't helping anyone and it makes you look unhinged and weirdly alienates not only the driver but their loved ones. YES, they knew it exists, it is EVERYWHERE. but shoving it in their faces doesn't help. and you're never going to get the confirmation because there is a high chance that their not even queer to begin with. and if they are, NOT OUR CONCERN

i don't have a problem writing or consuming rpf, it is not a crime nor do i think it should be stopped. like HAVE FUN. but you have to realize that it's not like debating star wars or marvel or whatever other piece of fictional media. formula one is REAL, they are not actors. they are athletes, and unless you want all rpf to be shut down some how. i suggest the likes of some of ya'll need to understand that there are different boundaries. and respect them.

i know they're all millionaires, but they still breathe and bleed as a friend of mine once said. it's fun to put them in little scenarios in fanworks, but just keep it out of their direct attention. there are unspoken boundaries, that some of ya'll need have said to you apparently.

asking oscar issac if he THINKS that finnpoe is real is VERY different than asking someone's sister if she thinks her REAL LIFE BROTHER is fucking his REAL LIFE TEAMMATE. - people's relationships have turned to ash over insistent rpf in their faces all the time.

my advice at the end of the day is: have fun, don't write or draw it because you want confirmation that it's a real relationship. write or draw it because you're having fun. fandom is about making friends and shipping in whatever context is about finding a slice of community on the vast internet, not cracking the code of if it is a real relationship. - bunny.

[evilminji]

You know The Force™? Yes, from Star Wars.

What if It and Ectoplasm, as a vague, all encompassing Primordial Force That IS... were Exs?

Now, now, I here your scepticism. But hear me out! I am going somewhere with this! Possibly somewhere amusing! Might be candy! Who knows! ANYWAY~☆

The Primordial Forces That ARE.™

Imagine um like infinite, multidimensional, multidirectional, endlessly stacking, 2-D pancakes! That are ALIVE. Gods beyond godhood. Inherently Amoral. Not IMMORAL... Amoral.

As in removed from morality.

Outside it.

Just as they are with most things. Time, change, entropy and order. They are the textbook definition of "I EXSIST" in the eldrich sense. It's like trying to understand the thought process of rocks. A black hole.

The best thing everyone can do is move on and accept that our fleshy little meat brains are incapatible with the information we are trying to take in. They DO like us though! For the given quality of "like" as they are capable of understanding it.

It's neat. They are neat!

Why bring um up, though? Well~ >.> remember that "stacked" thing? Not EVERY universe has all of them. In fact, MOST universe don't have more then one! Why would you need TWO Infinte Powers watching you? You're not that special!

And if you ARE, that's not a GOOD thing!

So like? Star Wars? Has The Force. As does every variation and fic offshoot universe. The spin off series. Unknown, undiscovered, "and everything was peaceful, safe, and fine" universe's where nothing story worthy happened.

Danny? Gets Ectoplasm.

The Zone.

Which? Is where Ectoplasm stores their blorbos. The FUNNY ones. The INTERESTING ones. The "I just think they're neat" ones. And FRANKLY? It HAS TO STOP! It's getting out of hand! A hobby is ONE thing, but THIS? The last one tried to invade OTHER UNIVERSE. And now you want to put ANOTHER little crown on your favorite OC?

Stop TORMENTING the little thing! This is BENEATH YOU! No more "edgy" halfa creatures!

Give me that!

Aaaaaand Danny is in Space? W...Why is Danny in space? Danny doesn't WANT to be in SPACE. Danny was about to finally have a burger and a NAP! Guys? Guys, this isn't funny! Where the FUCK is he?? Why are all the ghosts blue?

Why can random space monks body him? But like... only conditionally? The swords are Tingly but the hand wave throw thing? Yeets like the football? And, hell yeah aliens? But boooo, most of them are jerks?

Also >:/ not so thrilled about how people talking about Clones. Or treating them.

And your "Chancellor" fruitloop is very... Vlad. Vibes be RANCID.

He wants to go home but might Have To Cause Problems On Purpose first.

Meanwhile? Skywalker n his secret wife are somewhere VERY green and the white not-wookies are very concerned about her health. But don't worry! They caught the problem early. And prenatal care in important. Also so is mental health. Here, talk to this soft pile of fur with a soft understanding voice! That's elder Councilfang!

Why? Because Ectoplasm is petty. Fuck YOU, Force. If you're gonna take THEIR favorite bloro, then Ectoplasm is gonna take YOUR current favorite TOO! See how YOU like your bloro missing!

@babbling-babull @the-witchhunter @hdgnj @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation @spidori @lolottes @legitimatesatanspawn

[blueikeproductions]

Megatronus Prime, the only “other” Prime people care about.

And I think a lot of that is due to his simple concept: he’s the bad Prime. He’s evil, brooding and will blow up the Sun out of spite.

His conceptual history starts with G2 where Simon Furman created the Liege Maximo as the evil “Prime”, a natural counterbalance to the innate good of Primus. This guy was the First Decepticon of which Megatron is descended from biologically (technologically?). A lot of the older material insisted the Autobots and Decepticons were genetically distinct, right down to their moral compass.

During the Dreamwave comics era, Furman revisited the idea of an evil “Prime” once more, instead creating the first version of The Fallen.

Originally intended as a Prime of destruction and rebirth, he became obsessed with destruction and became an Acolyte of Unicron, intending to sabotage Primus, but failed. He resurfaced during the early stages of the Great War, intending to finish what he started, but once again was met with failure and sealed away within Cybertron by Primus.

He would be revisited once again in RotF, taking on his more well known alien Egyptian look.

Interestingly, Dreamwave had established a connection with The Fallen and Jetfire, something that ROTF also used, but not to the same extent. Dreamwave intended for The Fallen to posses Jetfire, but it never came to pass. Prior to that, The Fallen had possessed Sunstorm, a Starscream Clone Shockwave created, so ROTF called back more to its roots than people think, using Jetfire and the Seekers.

Because of the success of the Bay films, this version of The Fallen was what people think of regarding an evil Prime, along with him being pretty cool in general.

In this version, this Fallen betrayed his fellow Primes to claim the Sun of Earth, not caring for the human life on it, finding it beneath him. The Primes didn’t want to claim suns of inhabited worlds, so this was pretty much treason. The Fallen was sealed away after a huge battle, but he resurfaced in the modern era, intent to reclaim Earth’s Sun out of pure pettiness (ROTF explains the Allspark needed recharged with the energy of suns, but with its destruction, it wasn’t necessary to claim the Sun for that anymore).

The movie famously doesn’t fully explain where The Fallen came from, just that he was already onboard the Nemesis, soaking up Energon and giving Megatron his marching orders to kill Optimus, find the Matrix, and recover the Star Harvester buried in Egypt.

The IDW movie comics go more in depth, explaining The Fallen was sealed in a sarcophagus on Cybertron that Optimus’ science team dug up during an archaeological expedition. The relic called to Megatron, influencing the temperamental brute already having issues with Optimus, to become the future tyrant and leader of the Decepticons.

Along with the movie being the prototype for the modern Prime mythology, it also was the first to claim The Fallen was the First Decepticon and that his face influenced the Decepticon logo.

It’s not super clear in the movie itself…

…but the comics make the distinction more obvious.

Early concept art also tried to make the connection clearer.

These concepts would eventually feed into the TFONE Fallen’s design. Having a bulky tank like body of his Dreamwave self, wearing a mask that is clearly the Decepticon logo as was intended in ROTF, along with having the scepter of his ROTF counterpart. The Decepticon mask has led to some confusion among some fans, his mask, cannon and predominantly purple body resemble Tarn from IDW.

It’s not meant to be Tarn, as he didn’t originate the look, the real world version of this is Soundwave’s face inspired the logo, but Tarn is the most well known among fans to rock the look. That said, Tarn probably did influence the look a little.

Unlike his counterparts, the ONE version of MP never became The Fallen, instead the context we’re given is this version valiantly defended Cybertron from the invading Quintessons. Being loaded with weapons and having an imposing size, Megatronus Prime was the most powerful Prime. In the modern era, Megs was also the most popular (probably a reference to his ROTF popularity) with many Bots having merch of him, D-16 being a HUGE fan in particular.

Megatronus sadly was one of the first to fall to Sentinel’s betrayal, being slain and his Cog taken as a trophy that Sentinel installed himself. D-16, learning of his idol’s fate and Sentinel’s role in it, was LIVID. D-16’s evolution to Megatron was complete when he stole back the Cog, and installed it in himself, gaining a form similar to his idol. I feel like Megatronus Prime is just saying “YOU’RE NOT AFFILIATED WITH ME!”

Another deviation was Aligned and IDW.

The Aligned version seems to be where TFONE MP takes his primary look from, but still using Dreamwave and ROTF as mentioned before. Funny enough this is the only design besides ONE that clearly communicates MP’s head influenced the Decepticon logo.

The name Megatronus was coined here, Hasbro’s attempt at creating a more obvious connection to The Fallen and Megatron, though many fans have expressed irritation at the name, feeling it sounds too stupid. Aligned’s intentions were to paint him as more of a brooding antihero, possibly another means to connect him to Megatron, whose more infamous roles in Prime Wars, IDW and EarthSpark paint him as a repenting antihero type.

Aligned saw him accidentally kill his girlfriend Solus Prime following subtle manipulation by Liege Maximo, but an embittered Megatronus got the last laugh by figuring out what had happened and secretly killing Maximo. He then went off into self exile, mirroring something Megatron would later do at the end of Prime, making it feel weirdly pre-ordained.

IDW went a similar direction, but its Megatronus started as a scared, nameless robot who witnessed Shockwave murdering Onyx in prehistoric times. Shockwave recognizing who the robot was according to legend named him Megatronus, and molded the nomad to become the brooding Ow the Edge warrior the legends foretold. This Megatronus started a series of campaigns that saw Cybertron united under his Darklands kingdom, and, notably, recruit Galvatron and his then brother Arcee to his cause. After the formation and fall of the Primes, Shockwave later killed his student off world, his purpose having been served to keep history and his own plans on track.

RiD15 meanwhile opted to make Megatronus its first major big bad, with Optimus training in the Prime Realm to defeat him.

Despite being the same character in the Covenant of Primus, this take on him pushed him closer to the more familiar ROTF version: trapped in another dimension, having psychic powers, a Void Scepter, manipulating the Decepticons to ensure his release, and wanting to take petty revenge against Earth. The last one is odd, because Megatronus never visited Earth before, nor is there any Aligned material that describes a humiliating campaign on Earth he was a part of. I’ve always wondered if it was supposed to be a relapsed MEGATRON, stewing over his life, got frustrated and decided to take out Earth and Cybertron in an “If I can’t have it than nobody can!” moment. Concept art for Megatron DOES exist for RiD’s early development so it’s possible such an idea was entertained.

Anyway Megatronus uses a relic to combine the powers of the Allspark and Unicron’s Anti-Spark to trigger a chain reaction that would destroy both planets but he’s stopped by the Bee Team with the power of friendship and combining their Decepticon Hunters into a giant Dragonball Z energy blast. It would appear The Fallen is super dead here, as he’s never depicted going back to the Prime Realm, nor do the Primes seem that shook up their brother was vaporized.

The final version of the Fallen that appears is in the Prime Wars trilogy, again evoking his more popular ROTF form and abilities. Here he strikes a Mazinger Z like design I kinda dig, too bad it didn’t stick.

His primary goal was to revive his lost love Solus Prime, and he chooses to do so by rigging a device using the Matrix and other relics to steal the Sparks of all Transformers to revive Solus’ Spark. Inevitability this plan fails, and a so over him Solus drags her now ex boyfriend into The Well of Allsparks to undo the damage. It feels like they were trying to imitate the 90’s Mummy films, but it doesn’t work at all here. Not to mention we still don’t have a clear understanding on who Solus is in animation, and the ROTF personality used for Megs doesn’t fit for the tragic love story they tried to tell. Maybe if it was intentionally more like Heathers? PW Solus does have a Veronica Sawyer vibe, and PW Megatronus is basically JD….

While the ROTF personality tends to be the dominant one in most of his appearances, making Megs the most tonally consistent Prime, his more heroic role in ONE is a surprise. As such if he is meant to be a regular hero, there’s a fan theory that Sentinel corrupted Megs’ Cog, and when D-16 got it, it was corrupted further, when D evolved into Megatron, glowing an eerie purple the other Prime Cogs didn’t. It’s possible this was the writers’ way of subtly referencing Megatronus’ usual evil antics, or maybe MP’s Cog was built differently because he was the cool Prime.

One other thing that’s funny, is Megatronus is the only Prime that consistently Transforms. Most of his appearances depict him as a space tank, but a few opt for some sort of space craft. Interestingly, the ROTF comics material states the Primes and Transformers are separate species, as the Primes can’t Transform. (How this is different for Sentinel and Optimus is never properly explained.)

However, toys show The Fallen becoming an alien air craft, with early concepts showing him Scanning and taking on an Earth mode: a bomber plane, contradicting this concept. It’s possible this was the comics taking advantage of The Fallen never Transforming in scripts they had to work with and were just assuming.

What’s still amusing is outside of a gun, The Fallen largely assumes military vehicles like Megatron does, strengthening their connections, albeit somewhat annoyingly. Again that preordained feel.

While we don’t see what TFONE Megs turns into, safe bet he’s probably a space tank, but making him a Triple Changer to incorporate the aircraft would be funny.

[crownmemes]

Assorted Media Sentences, Vol. 16

(Sentences from various pieces of media. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"You're out of control."

"If you want to live to see another day, you'll be out of town by nightfall."

"Look at you! You're a mess!"

"In the events that anything should happen - which it won't! - I want you to tell the world that I did something."

"I do understand. Don't talk to me like I'm a monkey."

"You've gotten good and greasy with your words, haven't you?"

"Want to get drunk and fool around?"

"You think I'm dumb, don't you?"

"The world is not as black and white as you think."

"Say what you want, but I promise you, you'll be dead by dawn."

"I'm not human. Humans don't drink blood."

"Our glory days are long gone."

"I threw stones at the stars, but the whole sky fell."

"I never can please you, can't I?"

"Do not fire at the spacecraft! You may inadvertently start an interstellar war!"

"Why do you have to be special? Why can't you just be you?"

"Why am I just seeing this now?"

"I've come for answers. I'm not leaving until I get them."

"Even the most painful memories can become familiar. A refuge, if you'd like."

"You're going to need a bigger boat."

"You're not going to hit me again, are you?"

"You know nothing. Hell is only a word. The reality is much, much worse."

"Our livelihood depends on our ability to blend in at our discretion."

"You've lost track of the greater good here."

"Once he's got whatever he needs, he'll cast you aside."

"Sooner or later, the thirst always wins."

"Does it disturb you at all that the most logical explanation for all of this is that he's an alien?"

"I'd like to tell you everything, but I can't. Not ever.,"

"Endings are a strange thing. You know it's coming, and yet everything ends."

"Do I need to remind you what happened last time you pushed me too far?"

"I'm not being modest. I'm really good at what I do."

"What the eyes sees, the mind believes."

"I know you're lying, I just can't figure out why."

"You can't keep denying what you are."

"It's a fine line between standing behind a principle and hiding behind one."

"Vampires with machine guns. What's not to love?"

"'I don't know' isn't good enough! You're supposed to be the expert!"

"Do this right and this job will put us back on the map."

"I hate to say it, but your life sounds a hell of a lot more interesting than mine does right now."

[swan2swan]

One of the things Skeleton Crew nailed more than most other Star Wars projects is the efficiency of the character design on the kids.

Neel is obviously an alien. He's got blue skin. And a trunk. Those big black eyes. He wobbles. This infuses the show with a diversity we haven't had since Resistance, something unique to the toybox we're playing in.

Then there's KB. She's got a cool Space Visor...which is not Essential, a la Geordi in Star Trek, but does give her an immediately recognizable face in a way we haven't seen since Sabine in Rebels (which may also not count because she's just got a Mandalorian helmet, which was already associated with Boba Fett...in fact, I'd call this Completely New). She's also got the white hair that falls across her face, and while if you put a gun to my head and told me to draw her clothes, I'd die, that's not necessary for her design: she can swap clothes whenever and she'll be identifiable.

Fern looks pretty basic, but she's got a Cool Jacket. That ties her in with Kay, Han, and Cassian (I'm gonna be honest, I think they were trying for something similar with Poe's jacket and Finn in the sequels, but they never really pulled it off for myriad reasons). The dark color of the jacket contrasts well with her pale skin, dark hair, and bright shirt (orange below, white for the main story). The blue patch also makes it have Instantly Identifiable Potential.

And then there's...um...um...*sweats*...Protagonist Kid.

He's probably got the most easily-forgettable design, but that's okay, he's the protagonist, he's meant to have some Audience Imprinting. A little subtlety can go a long way there, it's been a staple of Star Wars. But his hair has a VERY distinctive silhouette, and that's enough. Worked for Luke Skywalker back in the day, after all...and Anakin later. From bowl cut to that stupid Padawan cut to the moppy mullet foreshadowing that of his son. Sometimes all you need is "It's the guy with the Long Hair" and you're golden. As long as he doesn't pull an Ezra and lop that off to ruin his look entirely (yeah, I'm still not over that, I get it, but I really think Ezra's design suffered in the later seasons), he's Good Forever.

[gffa]

If you could change anything about the Prequel and the Sequel trilogies, what would it be?

I love the prequels, in all their both brilliant and dumbass glory, so as tempted as I am to say that I would have had Lucas find someone else to direct the prequels after Spielberg said no (I think he was firm in saying Lucas should do them?), I really love that mix of something genuinely good and something genuinely bonkers. I would change the Tuskens storyline to be less racist/the Neimoidians to have a different accent and I would put more Asian Jedi into the scenes, if you're going to base them on Buddhist monks, we could use a little more real world reflecting of that. The sequels on the other hand need an overhaul from top to bottom. At a bare minimum they needed to have at least planned the storyline out ahead of time and had a single vision instead of the tug-o-war that we got. I would not have made Kylo and Rey's characters all about each other, I would have spread the connections around more, given Kylo and Luke more than just the one scene together, I would have given Finn a better storyline, I would have given Poe a better backstory, I would have connected the storyline better in the movies to the world they inhabited (ie, use more established settings and alien races, etc.), I would have kept the OT trio to secondary characters, but also let them have reactions to each others' deaths in the same room, I wouldn't have made Han/Leia into that because how am I supposed to have fun with rewatching the originals knowing everything went to shit, I would not have brought Palpatine back (or at least I would have set it up from the beginning otherwise), etc. The sequels were in a difficult place, but even as many issues as I have with TFA (too much of a palette swap of ANH for my tastes), the pieces for a satisfying story were there, it's just that everyone wanted to take it in different directions and none of the three movies really seemed to get what Star Wars' themes were. I love the characters and there were great moments in there, but I would have sat them down with a bunch of Lucas interviews about what the themes of Star Wars was before starting and tried to give them a better foundation for understanding it.

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: MMO’s

Alien: What do these letters mean? Human: “Massively Multiplayer Online Game” Alien: Shouldn’t there be a “G” in there as well then? Human: Then it would be “MMOG”, and that sounds silly when said out loud. Alien: *Looks sad* Human: Oh Christ your name is Mmog, isn’t it? ---------------------------

Alien: So this game is about the star wars religious fanatics fighting each other? Human: Pretty much. Alien: You would think the rest of the galaxy would have united and wiped them all out by now since it looks like the majority of conflicts are started by one side or the other. Human: Pretty hard to stamp them out when they can crush your windpipe from half a star system away. ----------------------------

Alien: So evil triangles fighting good spheres? Human: Pretty much. Alien: That doesn’t sound exciting. Human: It was before they put up a paywall around everything believe it or not. Alien: How so? Human: Well for one thing you got to punch an ancient worm god the size of a skyscraper in the face on Mars. Alien: Wow, that does sound like fun. -------------------------------

Alien: Friend human, I wish to start a fight but I don’t know hard. Human: Oh that’s easy. Human: Walk into any of those blue cities and shout in chat “Sylvanas did nothing wrong!”. Alien: Thanks. *An hour passes* Human: How’s it going? Alien: I’m not sure how but I may have started an in-game race war. Human: Ah; classic indeed. ---------------------------------

Alien: So this one is about flying around the universe and raiding people? Human: Yup. Alien: Isn’t that what we do now though? Human: Well when it came out it was depicting the future so it was more exciting. Alien: I’ll say. Alien: For being supposedly dangerous I’ve seen waiting lines at amusement parks on Florp III that were more harrowing. Human: They never did find that little girl waiting for the teacup ride. -------------------

Alien: Why are there fire pits everywhere?!?! Alien: There are not enough players to need so many. Human: you just don’t understand. Alien: Understand what? Human: You always need to leave a trail of fire pits behind you as you go in this game. Alien: Why? Human: *Points behind alien character to see angry band of players dodging way through fire pits trying to attack them* ---------------------

Alien: I don’t like this one. Human: Really? Human: You loved the two previous entries. Alien: Those were both offline games and this one isn’t. Alien: Plus it has a really annoying feature I hate. Human: Which is? Alien: Having to interact with other players to complete missions. -------------------

Human: They called this one a wow killer. Alien: How’d this get a name like that? Human: Well for starters they invested in decent writers. ------------------

Human: I heard that one is rather good. Alien: I guess. Human: You sound disappointed. Alien: Well I’ve yet to come across this black desert the title speaks of and I’m starting to get upset. -------------------

Alien: All I wanted to do was mine asteroids!!! Human: Yeah, but you did it in their territory. Alien: This is government controlled systems! Alien: Nothing is player controlled!!! Human: Probably explains why they are swarming you with cheap ships. Alien: Why!?!? Human: They’re probably hoping they can take you out before concord floods the system and wipes them all out. Alien: That’s crazy! Alien: They’d waste dozens of ships just to take out my lone miner? Human: Let me tell you about a little group called “Goonswarm”. ----------------------------

Alien: So everything is player created in this world? Human: For the economy at least.  Alien: That would explain a few things. Human: Like why there is super inflation for a bundle of wood? Alien: More so why every sword for sale is called a variation of “Buttsmasher”

[comfortless]

syl. *grabs you and shakes you* syl. i woke up in a cold sweat thinking of like… könig. already off to a great start ik. but space opera könig. (not like star wars or anything) but think like 70s aesthetics all bright and colorful. he’s a bandit in a stolen ship, formerly part of a military group making peace with other planets but something went awry and he’s just having fun now!

reader is part of a small research group that has landed on a planet he’s camped out on and he’s just like “ok” followed by “i want that”. steals all of her supplies and then her. doesn’t care how much she protests when he just hauls her over his shoulder, pats her butt bc he thinks THATS going to calm her down and throws her into his ship.

she’s happy he’s not some creepy alien but at the same time who really knows what’s under that hood anyway hmmmm and she wants to hate him but also all that’s playing in her head is that one rah band song. messages from the stars lmao please. there is something in the way you write that is so special to me and if you were to come up with a full blown story for my dumb idea i think i would scream for 20 hours straight.

lil wisp….. you have no idea what this has done to me. i am going to be thinking about this for an eternity. let’s cook.. i see your vision and i would love nothing more than this too!!

content/warnings: implied violence, abduction, dubcon groping?

König’s been on his own, drifting through the stars for so long. Only raiding the ships he comes across for food, supplies, and when he stumbles across a mechanic he puts them to work with a silly laser rifle pointed right at their head (because let’s face it— when you’re a wanted space pirate who in the universe is going to fix your ship for you??). He’s put all of human etiquette far behind him, and now his life is quite literally just one relentless adventure. He wouldn’t have it any other way!

That is, until his ship is fucked up again, displaying about thirty bright red warnings on its silly hologram screens that he just can not make sense of. The thing is old, has been shot at more times than even he can count, and it’s finally failing him if the loud sputtering and incessant orbital beeps are anything to go by. He considers his luck has run out when he lands the damned thing on some hunk of rock out on the outskirts of a galaxy most don’t even bother with, because there’s nothing out here.

Thankfully, his frustration is short-lived because a smaller ship lands only a few days later; painted in the bright, pearlescent blues and pinks of your standard peace-keeping, research vessel. It’s the perfect craft to steal and it wouldn’t even be difficult… the three humans that exit are so much smaller than him and entirely unguarded. They’re just here to study a few minerals, maybe haul some back to their little camp a few worlds over for fuel and research. He won’t even get into too much trouble for it, he thinks, because even his trashed ship could take them back home. See!! He isn’t all that bad…

At least, until he notices her, bent over admiring some silly, little cluster of crystals in her skin-tight jumpsuit that makes him see stars. The heavy boots that rise up to her knees making her look like little more than a fauness, and she’s so pretty he just can’t help but get a closer look while her teammates are off chittering away and exploring the nothing planet.

She isn’t even afraid of him when he approaches. Just straightens up with her hands clasped in front of her and a smile on her face. She hasn’t seen the holograms of him, displaying a sizable bounty for his veiled head, doesn’t take a wary note of the massive rifle he has slung over his shoulder; she just sees another person. He hasn’t been looked at like that since long before he left home!!

This sweet woman has no sense of self-preservation either, because she immediately asks him if he needs food or water; gestures over to her brightly colored ship with that pretty smile ever-present on her face, and that’s all it takes for him to decide that not only is he taking the craft, he’s taking her too.

He doesn’t say a word when he lifts her up over his shoulder, and the poor thing must be shocked because it takes her a moment before she starts squirming in his grip. König does well to remove the little radio strapped to her hip, giving her ass a firm squeeze in the process before tossing it in the dust behind him. That’s all it takes to shut his little prinzessin up before he hauls her back into her ship and demands she turn off any tracking systems. Her knees are a bit weak when she fumbles with the control panels, and he’s unashamed of his own erection when he slides in behind her to lean over the console as the ship starts up.

She whines about leaving her friends stranded, of course, but he’s in a world of his own when he grabs her by the hips and seats her in his lap while she pilots. Never mind the others, he’ll take good care of her, honest!!

[howtofightwrite]

Speaking of martial competence, do you have any examples of characters that are actually written with this in mind?

Loads. Some actually even make good on that.

So, there's different kinds of martial competence. There are characters who are proficient in combat directly, there are well written strategists, there are characters who excel at military leadership, and when they're written well, you can actuallylearn some things from them.

I'm going to give some examples, and at least one cautionary example.

For, just, raw combat prowess, I still go back to Robert E. Howard's Conan short stories. It's easy to meme on the character, especially 90 years after the fact, with the cultural persona that's grown around him, but Howard's original writing is excellent. The character would not have survived Howard's early (and, frankly, tragic) death if it was just the one note gag you might expect, if your only exposure to the character was through cultural osmosis and the films.

Howard's fight scenes were shockingly well written. To the point that it is still absolutely worth reading if you want to write a fantasy fighter.

For strategists, three characters come to mind, but only two are literary, and all are Science Fiction.

Grand Admiral Thrawn is probably one of the best villains Star Wars has ever produced, it's part of why he's one of the few characters that's migrated from the original EU to the Disney era. My personal take is, as a character, he's lost a lot over the years, but the original incarnation from the early 90s novels is a very solid model for a strategist. Particularly in how he takes time to understand his opponents while looking for potential weak points to exploit.

His practice of studying a culture's art to understand their psychology might sound a bit goofy, but the concept does have a real basis. (At least, until it metastasized into a superpower, in later adaptations of the character.) Being able to psychologically assess your foe is an incredibly valuable element of strategy, and one that you probably want to consider when you're writing a character who is supposed to be a “strategic genius.”

When writing fiction, you want to consider all of your characters as if they were people, rather than as hollow, plastic toys. And, yes, the obnoxious villain who knows exactly what your heroes will do because of authorial fiat is going to be a more compelling character than the ambulatory goldfish villain who exists as a prelude for your heroes showing off how badass you think they are.

Granted, even in Heir to the EmpireThrawn was already drawing strategic insights that strained credibility, but understanding your foe is an element of strategic thinking that is often forgotten in literature. So, even as a villain in a tie-in novel (we're not done with tie-in fiction yet), he is worth looking at. At least when written by Timothy Zhan, Thrawn was a well written character, and even if he bordered on a Mary Sue at times, he escaped a lot of that stigma by justifying his competence.

It's also probably worth mentioning in passing that he's one of the few Imperial leaders in Star Wars who isn't also criminally incompetent.

The non-literary example of a strategist would be John Sheridan from Babylon 5. Unlike Thrawn, Sheridan's main strategic focus is on situational exploitation. A little of that comes from his knowledge of enemy procedures and psychology, but at lot of it comes from a rather ruthless approach to technical limitations. An alien race is using technology that blocks human targeting systems? Set up a nuclear mine and then send out a fake distress single to lure them in. Need to deal with a significantly larger, more dangerous ship? Lure them into a gas giant and and let the planet's gravity well drag them past crush depth. Bruce Boxleitner's performance helped sell the character, but Sheridan is a really solid science fiction strategist, who really exemplifies how technical limitations can have enormous strategic considerations.

I'm not citing Sheridan as an excellent example of a leader per se,it's certainly there, but it is harder to unpack from Boxleitner's performance. It does have some good payoffs much later in the series when he starts making some orders that cause his subordinates to sit up and stop what they're doing. And that is a consistent theme even back to his introduction, but, it's a tangible consequence to an intangible cause.

The last example is a negative example, both for strategy and leadership. And, as much as it pains me to say this, at least Orson Scott Card understood that Ender was a bad leader. At least in the original novel. To be blunt, Ender is a mediocre strategist at best. His highlights in the book involve, “inventing armor,” and creative movement in micrograv. That's setting the bar exceptionally low, and while it is reasonably within the range of what you could expect from a pre-teen, that's not much of a justification.

Again, I'm not a fan of Card, and I'm reallynot recommending Ender's Gameto anyone. However, if I didn't mention it, you know there'd be a reblog going for twelve hundred words about how Andrew Wiggin is the best strategist in literature, which, yeah, no.

Do you want a goofy, tie-in fiction, literary suggestion for the best leader in sci-fi? Too bad, because I'm pretty sure Ciaphas Cain is not that person. The Ciaphas Cain novels by Sandy Mitchell are unusual as leadership recommendations, because of how much Cain internally processes the social manipulation involved in military leadership. He's not a great leader, but he is exceptionallygood at explaining to the reader how he's creating that illusion to motivate the soldiers around him. In fairness, some of that is an intrinsic character flaw, he is incredibly insecure, and desperately trying to hide that fact. And the difference between being a great leader, and effectively creating a comprehensive illusion of a great leader is: There is no difference. As a serious complement, it is one of the few times I've seen an author treat leadership as an actual skill, and not simply an extension of a character's charisma. Which is why I'm singling this one out. It might sound like a joke inclusion initially, and the books are quite funny in a Warhammer 40k kind of way, but there is quite a bit of  value to be had.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

[wanderinginksplot]

What to watch during the writer's strike:

Don't pay attention to companies who blame writers for delayed movies and television shows! The WGA strike comes from people who are trying to make things better - not only for themselves and other writers, but the films and tv shows we all love.

While we wait for a resolution, I thought I would share some existing television shows that I enjoy. I didn't bother with too much well-known stuff. Instead, I focused on shows I feel many people missed because of the glut of content that all premiered at once over the last few years. (I may make another one of these for movies later on, but this one is about tv.)

[Update: Movie version here]

Feel free to add on! Just try to give a quick, spoiler-free synopsis for the show and the streaming service where it can be found.

List under the cut!

Netflix:

The Good Place (2016-2020) - A 'bad' woman is accidentally sent to heaven. She and her moral philosophy professor of a soulmate try to save her soul by making her a better person. Genre: Comedy with deeper implications and one of the best endings in television history.

Russian Doll (2019-2022) - When Nadia dies at her birthday party, she's more than a little confused to come back. Especially when it keeps happening. Genre: Time loop drama with a wicked sense of humor and a dash of theoretical physics. Potentially not ended?

Narcos (2015-2017) - The fight of the American DEA and the Colombian army against cocaine kingpin Pablo Escobar and his reign of terror. Genre: Drama with thrilling elements. Lots of violence, some sex and language. Lots of subtitles. Features Pedro Pascal and Boyd Holbrook, if you need some extra incentive.

Derry Girls (2018-2022) - Five teens grow up in Derry, Ireland in the 1990s, amid the final years of the Troubles, a low-level war that lasted roughly 30 years. Genre: Comedy. Some sexual content, some religious content, less violence than you would expect, and the best nun ever to appear on film.

Arcane (2021-?) - Two sisters are alienated when one accidentally kills their adoptive father. Their different paths threaten the fragile peace of a city already on the breaking point. Genre: Drama with elements of action-adventure. Though it's animated, Arcane's animation is beautifully done with tantalizing steampunk elements that will keep you invested.

Disney+:

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008-2020) - If you haven't seen any of the Star Wars animated series, this is a good place to start. Set in the time gap between Episode II and Episode III, this series helps flesh out Anakin Skywalker and the Jedi. It is also a great introduction to some of the characters and plots of The Mandalorian. (Star Wars: Rebels is another good choice.) Genre: Adventure with some drama. Violence and death are a large part of The Clone Wars, but it's usually appropriate for children. The clone troopers will steal your heart!

Gravity Falls (2012-2016) - Dipper Pines and his sister Mabel are sent to Gravity Falls, Oregon to live with their great-uncle for their summer break. But when Dipper finds a mysterious book in the woods, the pair find that Gravity Falls is far more mysterious than it seems... Genre: Adventure with a lot of comedy. Though it's billed as a children's cartoon, Gravity Falls is an intriguing watch with mystery subplots that will keep anyone guessing. It also features a famously strong and cohesive series ending. I was in my late 20s when I first watched this and I was still invested!

Daredevil (2015-2018) - After being blinded as a young boy, Matthew Murdock trained his other senses to replace the sight that he lost. He uses his skills to protect the helpless in the New York City neighborhood of Hell's Kitchen. Genre: Action and superhero. Features a lot of incredibly choreographed violence. (Jessica Jones is also an excellent show to watch, especially if you think of David Tennant as the consummate 'good guy'. He's got range!)

HBO Max (Just 'Max' now, I guess):

Ghosts (2019-2023) - Petty roommate squabbles don't stop just because you're dead! Alison and her husband Mike inherit a house, then a near-death experience allows Alison to see its ghostly inhabitants. Chaos and humor ensue as the ghosts try to adjust to the house's new owners. Genre: Humor. Ghosts is a British sitcom, but since the writers are comedians (writing and performing in Horrible Histories), the show is done in a style that feels more natural to American viewers. Hint: watch the BBC version, not the American one. They're fairly similar, but definitely not the same!

Pushing Daisies (2007-2009) - A pie-maker with the ability to bring back the dead helps to solve murders. He's helped by his once-dead childhood sweetheart. Genre: Comedy with some dramatic elements. Some of the CGI-heavy moments haven't aged particularly well, but the show has a unique premise and an incredibly talented cast!

Hulu:

Abbott Elementary (2021-?) - This mockumentary series showcases an inner-city elementary school in Philadelphia. The teachers and administration do their best for the kids, but they're constrained by budgets and the limitations of the educational system itself. Genre: Comedy mockumentary. Though Abbott Elementary is fictional, some of the issues brought up are all too real. This is a funny and incisive look at the American public school system.

Amazon Prime:

Fleabag (2016-2019) - The unnamed protagonist of the show struggles through life on her own with limited support from her alienated family and the memories of her recently deceased best friend. Genre: Comedy with lots of dramatic elements. Lots of sexual content and references, some language, breaking the fourth-wall, and several characters you just long to hit. I watched the second season in a single day, that's how good this was.

Unknown Streaming Service:

Black Sails (2014-2017) - This prequel to Treasure Island features elements from the book, original characters, and real pirates from history in a setting that emphasizes realism. Captain Flint and his crew search for a legendary prize... one that might allow them to claim Nassau for their own. Genre: Action and adventure. Think Game of Thrones, but with pirates. Incredibly well-written and well-acted with gorgeous scenery, LGBTQ representation, and just enough historical accuracy to keep things grounded. Black Sails also boasts one of the best endings ever given for a television show.

Like I said, please feel free to reblog and add your own television show recommendations onto this list! There are plenty of things to watch and plenty of ways to support the WGA strike that don't involve giving in to big studios.

[dftea]

Trust me - I'm a hologram

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Julian Bashir/Elim Garak Star Trek: Lower Decks - Hologram Julian Bashir/Alternate Universe Elim Garak

‘Thankfully, Julian’s enhanced brain was able to comprehend quantum realities with ease. He was having a harder time accepting that Bashir was married.’

In which a hologram saves the First Splinter timeline.

[read on ao3]

The first time Julian found himself face-to-face with Bashir in a holosuite, he thought it was one of Felix’s hilarious practical jokes.

The holographic Bashir was wearing a fake Starfleet medical uniform, with grey where the teal should be, and was smiling at him with an oddly nervous look in his eyes.

“Not Felix’s best work, honestly,” Julian said, staring down the imposter. “What, are you here to proposition me? Offer me a speech on my undying love for myself?”

Bashir made a face. “Nothing like that, old chum - I’m here to save your universe.”

# # #

Once he accepted Bashir’s explanation, such as it was, Julian found it pretty easy to accept Bashir’s place in his life. Sure, his friends thought he was vain and self-obsessed to have a portable holographic emitter with his own likeness, but he didn’t have many friends anyway.

But after Starfleet Medical, he would become a renowned doctor - famous enough to become the template for a medical hologram! - and important enough to his reality to need specifically protecting by his alternate holographic self.

Thankfully, Julian’s enhanced brain was able to comprehend quantum realities with ease. He was having a harder time accepting that Bashir was married.

“You’re married…as a hologram?”

Bashir shot him a look. “You know I can’t talk about that.”

“You’re wearing a wedding ring! And I checked your data files - the ring code was a later addition to the original source. I wasn’t married when you were designed, but you are married, so–”

“It doesn't always turn out the same in every universe,” Bashir said, with the sing-song quality that implied he had said this many times before.

How many universes had Bashir saved before this one? Was Julian the key in every single one? Well, he would just have to do his duty, that’s all. He owed it to the multiverse.

But first he would find out more about this marriage.

“What isn’t the same?” he asked, innocently.

Bashir looked exasperated. “Sometimes, we’re not there together, and sometimes he’s too…different. I’m not supposed to be telling you this!”

He. Well, that was a surprise. Julian had always pictured marrying a woman, fathering children - but perhaps that was his mother’s dream, not his. Besides, there were many ways to make a family. 

“Starfleet?”

Bashir squirmed. “Sometimes.”

“Human?”

No response. Not Human, then. Julian had always been a bit of a xenophile.

“A doctor?”

“Rarely. My husband is, but I don't know of any others. Look, there isn’t much to worry about in this stretch, so I’ll…leave you to it for now.”

Then he disappeared and didn’t return until the night before finals, murmuring into Julian’s half-sleeping ear that he needed to throw at least one question on the exam.

Neuroanatomy wasn’t his forte, anyway.

# # #

Julian would’ve chosen Starbase Deep Space Nine even without Bashir’s recommendation. It was frontier medicine, a chance to make a difference in the aftermath of a war, a proving ground before he secured his first five-year mission.

Then he met Elim Garak.

After flirting with the gorgeous Cardassian spy - and making an utter tit of himself in the process - he activated Bashir in his quarters.

“Is it him?” he asked.

Bashir rolled his eyes. “Are you going to ask that about every attractive alien man?”

Julian smiled triumphantly. “So you do find him attractive?”

Bashir snorted. “I’m based on you. What do you think?”

After that, Julian gave up asking. Mostly because he didn't really want to know for certain who he might marry in the future - why spoil the surprise?

Also because he had seen that soft look in Bashir’s eyes, beneath the bluster, and was afraid such softness simply wasn’t for him.

# # #

After Luther Sloan captured him, Julian carefully concealed Bashir’s emitter inside Kukalaka and never took it out again.

# # #

“Thirteen years!”

“My love, do forgive me - I couldn’t exactly destroy Kukalaka, could I?”

“It isn't as if you couldn't repair him!”

“I am just a plain and simple surgeon, not a tailor.”

“As you have said, many many times before, you are not just anything!”

Julian was dreaming. How else could he explain hearing Garak arguing with another Julian Bashir?

A memory stirred - another Bashir, in the wrong uniform - no, a later uniform, one Julian couldn’t possibly have known about until–

The memories hit him like a flood, choking him, drowning him, threatening to pull him under like a riptide.

“He’s sinking again!”

His own voice, but not him. Like a recording of an echo of another life.

“Let me try.”

“Oh, I don’t think so.”

Garak. Two Garaks, but that one was definitely his. If only he could open his eyes! If only he could see him again.

If only he hadn’t left Garak behind, to go with–

Another wave of despair, of raw anguished memory, but strong hands held onto his shoulders.

“Julian, my dear, I am right here.”

Julian opened his eyes, and he saw, as if for the first time, Elim Garak.

He tried to speak, but the words stuck in his throat, behind his eyes. He loved and hurt so deeply that it was like his chest was cracked open, forbidding him to breathe, to live.

Bashir was speaking. “Elim, we really should be going.”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Garak said, while never taking his eyes away from Julian. “You will explain yourselves.”

“Oh, I don’t think we will,” said the other Garak, the one that Bashir called ‘Elim”.

It was so obvious that it hurt, and yet Julian tried to shut it out anyway. All the love and pain of it.

But he couldn’t deny it any longer. Not when she - when Sarina had died, and Garak had stayed.

“It’s all right,” Julian rasped, voice rough from disuse. “I know him, them. They’re here to save the timeline.”

Garak blinked at him. “Saving you will save the timeline?”

“The captain was fuzzy on the details,” Bashir said, brightly. “I’m sure you’ll work it out.”

“Don’t worry about it at all,” Elim put in. “We won’t let them pop the bubble.”

And then the room was quiet, with only Garak’s breathing and his, the tsunami of memory and feeling held back only by the grip Garak had on him.

“You know them,” Garak repeated, carefully neutral.

“He said it doesn't always turn out the same in every universe,” Julian blurted, then wondered why he’d said it. Still making a tit of himself, even after all these years.

“What doesn't?”

“His marriage. Their…their marriage. Sometimes it’s different. Sometimes…”

Sometimes it doesn’t work out at all.

But they were together in this universe, and Garak wasn't “too different”, was he? The resemblance had been uncanny, even just hearing his voice.

“They are married. The Cardassian Starfleet doctor and the hologram of you.” Garak sounded like he might be concussed.

Julian knew the feeling. “Wait…Starfleet?”

His head was spinning, and not just for suddenly finding himself awake to the world for the first time in too long.

“As much as I would like to speculate on how our counterparts came to be married and our solemn responsibility to save the universe,” Garak said,  “I would first like to say: welcome home, my dear. I missed you.”

“I’m not going to let you miss me again,” Julian said, fervently. “Let's get married.”

# # #

“After we restored the equilibrium of the timeline, the rest just…fell into place.”

Boimler regarded his two officers with narrowed eyes.

“You got Bashir and Garak to hook up, didn’t you?”

“It is the most efficient strategy,” Elim said, gravely.

“One might call it a cardinal event.” 

Boimler sighed and ticked another universe off the list.