#i feel so pessimistic sorry

[peterbishop]

it's actually going to be so funny when tedbecca doesn't happen and it ends up being nothing more than moments that jason teased so that people stayed interested in the show

[borderliner-sapphic]

"Why are you so negative?"

Because growing up, nothing ever went right, so now I just expect things to go wrong. I expect abandonment, so I either cling on or push away, I expect things to not work out because that's what I've known. Whether it's a relationship, a goal, anything.

I also just have a severely low self-esteem that was consistently reinforced.

It's true that I can be positive when it comes to others' lives. I believe others can heal and become the best versions of themselves, I believe anyone else can deserve happiness and love. Me, on the other hand? Nah.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

The more time goes on, the more I think we (= westerners, especially white westerners) are just so fucking bad at guilt. I feel like guilt is among the most pernicious and dangerous emotions out there --not because guilt is literally deadly in isolation, it is an excruciating emotion but it will not kill you in itself, but because we have been trained to associate guilt with worthlessness (I partially blame christian values, the idea of impurity and sin --not to downplay, of course, the danger of a community judging you or being expelled from that community on the basis of being considered a danger to its other members due to the thing you've done that has been generating this guilt), and so we must, absolutely must, protect ourselves from simply feeling that guilt and processing its cold indifference washing over us, and we must do so through any means necessary. This can involve defensiveness, denial or reject of that guilt altogether so we are mentally protected from having to reevaluate ourselves and our place in the world, or can involve wallowing in and using it to self-harm --focusing on the pain and on self-hate rather than on what the guilt is telling us about ourselves and our heritage; blinding ourselves to it still in a twisted way.

I think it's also complicated to know how to manage guilt in a world where we're generally (as a whole) deeply powerless. It feels unfair to be called out about not doing enough when you know that pulling even mediocre heroics on your own will most definitively do almost nothing, hurt you, and be buried in a way that might be extremely unhelpul --not to mention, that it would actually hurt you in a very real and final way and lead to entirely thankless results, even if it was the morally correct thing to do. I do not want to pretend that it's not, very often, the results that awaits even serious and well-practiced activism --or even mild activism, major shoutout to everybody who got maimed or arrested or even killed on zero basis simply because they happened to be at or even near a protest, when they were not brutally attacked for no reason even outside of activism because an officer was racist or sexist or queerphobic or simply bored that day. There are genuinely good reasons to be scared.

So we feel guilt because of this fear, because of our isolation from any serious movement and the fact that we privilege our comfort over letting action taking over whatever else we have going on, and because fear and comfort knowingly keep us into inaction --or action that doesn't feel like enough, or that we feel doesn't achieve much of anything (which I think is never true: even giving someone a glimpse of hope for a second because we made an effort towards them is always always worth it in my opinion, it's not nothing and it's not a cop-out --of course it's not enough and we collectively need to find ways to do more, but it's not nothing and it should never discourage people from taking action --but I digress). But I think we start making a mistake when we point at this very real powerlessness as a shield from the guilt. Both can coexist. Both have to coexist. It isn't fair that some people are being forced to be courageous when we can afford to remain cowards. It is not even a moral judgement that condemn our souls forever, weakness is human and lack of individual reach against an overwhelmingly powerful and removed system even more so; it is a simple fact that we *have* to acknowledge if we want to take a clear look at the actual situation instead of camouflaging it behind self-justifying walls to give ourselves temporarily relief from that awful feeling. And I'm not saying it's not a constant effort, to keep those instincts of self-preservation at bay, or that some people don't have really good reasons that they cannot act more than through social media or miniscule donations or by talking about it around them, or being powerless to even do that without putting themselves into real and concrete danger --or that letting guilt in will be pleasant or even healing. It won't be. But it's also not the point.

Yeah, I get that it's hard to truly reckon with the fact that almost everything that made us (= westerners, especially white ones) is soaked with blood, imperialism, white supremacy, sexism, queerphobia, and a whole sweve of truly rancid ideologies that we cannot afford to passively accept as our lot. We were not given a choice in that legacy, and we don't have a ton of leverage over reorienting our haunted civilizations into something that isn't a horrible nightmare; but it is a fight that is happening right the fuck now.

I genuinely think guilt is a feeling we are not taught to handle in a healthy way; and because we have essentialist, pseudo-religious and punitive justice concepts terminally untangled with that feeling, guilt governs our politics and our private lives in the most rabid and unchecked way imaginable. But guilt will not kill us, unless we allow it to, and it will help literally nobody if it does. Guilt isn't evil in its soul-crushing pain as much as it is informative. Guilt is unbearable, unfliching clarity. But fever boils us alive because there is an infection that needs to be destroyed.

[lecliss]

Sakura gets a second point for being the first to complete the tree climbing at being better at chakra control, but at the same time it just feels like she was made good at it so no extra training segment time would have to be put into her getting good at it and it can be all about Sauce and Nart. Idk that feels too pessimistic but also could totally be true.

[meikyuubutterflyofficial]

I don't think I ever properly had the guts to tell anyone this but for the love of god when Telltale was making episode eight and added Emily into the story I've always thought they were like "Eh nobody's gonna really like her even though she has a good chunk screen time in the episode" and were supposed to be right.

Supposed to be right

Not me though like I saw this girl, this CHARACTER on screen before now I didn't care for her until now and I need you to not hate on me when I say this when I say that Emily is legitimately one of those characters I didn't realize I found attractive for a FUCKING MINECRAFT CHARACTER.

PETRA? NO. LUKAS? NO. ROMEO? GOD FUCKING NO? I COULD'VE BEEN A FULLY DEVOUT PETRA LOVER, THINKING THAT SHE'S THE ATTRACTIVE ONE NO, THIS IS THE CHARACTER THAT IN MY HEART AND SOUL I GENUINELY WISH I WANT TO FRENCH KISS HER SO BAD AND HER DESIGN ISN'T THAT GOOD TO NORMAL PEOPLE:

I've could've been so normal with the characters I like, but no, I am not like legit she's one of my top three favorites I want her so fucking bad like I go ahead and be like "Ew Romeo is ugly as fuck how do people simp for him" and then I take my stank ass and obsess over a character that only appeared in ONE DAMN EPISODE AND IT'S THE LAST ONE FOR SEASON ONE because I wanna be so fucking different so fucking bad over a character that barely anyone likes.

That's not even the worse part: I think the fact I have unironic thoughts that involve her being apart of activities that I deadass cannot say even though I'm never involved it's either with another female character (Nell specifically) or with random faceless men tells me how down bad I am for this fucking character and I really wish she'd pin me to the wall and give me a kiss on the lips GODDAMN IT

[sevicia]

I honestly think I'm way too sensitive for the way the world is rn like just generally speaking ykwim. but I don't wanna change that. I spent my entire childhood unable to feel much of anything at all and accumulating piles upon piles of resentment and fear that I still can't express because it scares me. I've mentioned this a bit jokingly but it really does feel like I gained consciousness not too long ago and am just starting to feel like a person. It's been taking me a much longer time than most people my age but I try to not be too angry at myself for that because it just doesn't feel like something I would've been able to force anyways. Basically I may be stupid (💯) but I'm gonna be earnest & sincere about it.

[paralien]

The worst thing in the entire world isn't waiting for a planned Talk™; It's having waited for A Talk™ for days and then less than 24hrs before it, the person who planned it asks if you can do a rain check and take it another day

[carpthecarp]

tonights mood kinda

[aisha-robinsons]

“I’m not gonna stain his legacy by turning him into some karate vampire” okay now why do I have a feeling that would’ve been better than what we’re about to get

[kuratm]

you know you've done a good job on writing an essay when your professor comments how pessimistic my perspective on life is.

[itsays]

luisa this is what it feels like to doompost about the chungha cb w u help

all the haarts on twitter r so excited about this whole thing so i’m like maybe i’m being too negative about this we r barely on cb #1 in more vision but then again it’s like… this is cb #1 n its already like this… this is how we’re starting. anyways i am hoping the song is a hit so badly n we get proven wrong but yeah i’m scared 😔

fjdjjsjajaj see fans on twt dont know shit about anything that's why they eat up anything! on one hand we are preventing ourselves from having fun by being negative. on the other we are dealing with jay park. and honestly likeeeee i cannot pretend not to be angry with how her career is being mismanaged AGAIN for the sake of just being happy with what we've got like im not built that way sjdjsjhs like i said ive been into kpop for TOO long like ive seen the rise and fall of many....

THAT BEEN SAID. i really liked the initial teaser so maybe not all is lost.... but maybe it is..... styling is giving jessi teasers are giving clc hobgoblin and i dont mean that in a good way like omg..... WHAT HAPPENED TO SERVING CUNT. it pissed me off bc this jay park man has no creative vision so everyone of his little minions are all going to look and sound the same. doesnt he get chungha is more of a pop icon type of soloist. does he not understand anything at all

[dailyfigures]

hello I'm the tag anon, I wasn't being passive aggressive and it wasn't my intention to sound like that at all. I'm really sorry it came off that way it was never my intention to talk down on you, my suggestion was genuine.

that method has never failed me and from speaking to other people here I've always had the impression it's not well known? because it's really unintuitive.

I know I personally only discovered on accident, else I wouldn't have known about it still. and since you mentioned only search I thought it's another situation like that.

my comment about the method being annoying was also genuine, I find it ridiculous that tumblr makes us jump through this many hoops to find stuff on our own blogs. that's also what I meant by my last sentence, I called tumblr functional with carcasm because I've seen the joke a lot here and, it isn't and it has many issues. (hence my 🙃 emoji)

I thought that would be clear bc of my previous comment abt the method being annoying but I messed up so again, sorry for the message coming across as basically the opposite of what I intended.

NOOOOOOO OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING MEAN TO YOU 😭😭😭 not my silly neurodivergent ass literally not being able to read tone omg i'm so sorry anon......no please don't apologise that's genuinely fully on me i feel so bad for being mean when you were genuinely trying to help........

i honestly wasn't aware at all that that method isn't well known, i've been on here for a decade so after all that time it kinda became an obvious thing to me. i think that's why i read your genuine tutorial in a way of like "oh you walked into a door? maybe try opening the door before you walk next time lol dumbass" which is again, fully on me and now that you explained it, it's very obvious how you meant it and i'm so embarrassed 😭 i did honestly think it was very weird you were calling tumblr a functioning website because no one would ever say thatdjshdjs

again i'm genuinely sorry for being mean to you when you were being nice and thank you for trying to help me out <3

[theflyingfeeling]

i'm still that 11-year-old crying in the school bathroom during intermission wondering what's wrong with me and why i'm not good enough

First of all, 11 year old you didn't deserve that at all and I wish I could give 11 year old you a hug and tell you that you're always good enough. Even though a screen I can tell you're wonderful and so beyond good enough and i hope the world and people in it start treating you as kindly as you deserve so you can believe you're good enough 💖✨️

you're so sweet for saying that 🤧 thank you ❤️

[moved-to-mettatonsbestie]

come on...... where is the joy and excitement the holidays usually makes me feel,,,, i barely care, like what is even the point in getting excited if my only plan is to work.

[dimonds456]

Hate it when you're friends with an artist and then you have a falling out. Not because I miss that art specifically (though I usually do), but when their art crosses my dash again I get a spike of anxiety. It may not even be THEIR art, just their character or artstyle mimicry, and the anxiety returns all the same.

It's an instant reminder of what happened- all the negative outweighs the positive, in the end.

[humanmorph]

unfortunately for figure I care more about gurs wellbeing than theirs. Which I don't know how much you can do there it all seems so grim to me still they felt somewhat desperate in the latest episode... Maybe it's a thing of getting used to actually, finally being heard, and (just like figure) not being bound to clem anymore. So maybe it doesn't have to take figure being miserable for gur to feel better but I'm just saying if it does that's ok by me. Sorry figure. I hope dre never rolls a 10+ again etc. etc.