#i feel scared posting
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sigh
#feeling such shame rn about posting fic#i feel scared posting#i feel embarrassed !!!!#i’m just feeling awfully sad in general#understandably so#i just want to be happy#i can get through this#it’s so hard#anyway sorry :)
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Different standards
#didnt mean to do this one in quote unquote colour but it wasnt legible without it so. heres a treat i suppose#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#coughs up a lung. anyway. ramble time as per usual. this is what i was warming up for btw in case it wasnt obvious#besides being another entry in the 'letting bonnie read loop for filth on accident' series. this is mostly self indulgent musings on#headcanons (and i will just use that word here.) ive previously rambled about in other tags and posts#namely: in the scenario that loop integrates into the party as a New Person for quite a while before The Truth Come Out. i feel they have#a decent chance at really scoring a slam dunk in becoming a guardian figure for bonnie? loop's demeanor is already colder and a tiny#bit more level-headed than siffrin's in the way they seem to discuss bonnie with them. namely pointing out that bonnie#never really hated them. it seems to be one thing they're genuinely at peace with? they've seen by now the truth that bonnie#was just scared and upset. and likely now knows that what bonnie wants is to be treated with grown-up respect within reason. plus loop#already scores bonus points with bonnie since they didnt 1. fuck up bad like sif did in act 5 and 2. saved sif in the party's eyes#... but then when it turns out that this clean-slate relationship with a stranger was siffrin being deceitful? must have been odd.#bonnie seems to really dislike being lied to. the question is whether they'd see it that way? would they feel betrayed there?#anyway. this is set after all those emotions are at least settled some. loop able to be more physically affectionate... and yet#still not letting themselves be quite as close as they'd like perhaps. perhaps...#anyway translucent pyjamas because i dont care if you're comforting a crying child you've GOT to SERVE!!!#and also i feel like the party probably wouldn't let loop stay completely naked for that long. especially not post-reveal anyway
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vulnerability and reassurance
[ID: Sketches of Robin and Franky from One Piece, post time skip. Franky and Robin sit on the floor and Robin rests her cheek on his chest while he tries to lightly pull her close. He says: "I uh. Sorry. I'm not good for cuddlin' Unless you like cozying up next to a refrigerator. Are you really comfortable like that?" Robin looks up at him and responds: "It's okay, Franky. I'm perfectly comfortable. I feel... safe here like this with you." /END ID]
#something somthing robin spent her life being demonized and franky was made 2 feel like a danger to those around him and#frobin#2024#edit 10 30 24 would you believe me if i said i was scared to post this because its completely genuine and unironic and shit#which is embarrassing 4 me to post but y'all have been very nice and th feedback on this is :]#so thanks 4 the kind words <3 it means a lot
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one interesting aspect of percy and rachel's relationship that isn't often highlighted is how empathetic percy must have been toward rachel about seeing through the mist as a small child. because percy was the kid who saw a man with one eye stalking him at the local playground. the kid who saw a horse with wings resting atop the roof of a nearby building. the kid who was nearly killed by a fury disguised as his algebra teacher. and the kid who understood what if felt like to distrust the world around him, to be reprimanded for falling victim to the fear that accompanied it. if it was anything that percy offered rachel. it was the grace of understanding a uniquely mortal experience.
#i hold their friendship so near to my heart#it was such a pure and honorable and necessary connection between two scared teenagers#and what a shame it is that now is categorized soley as an obstacle to percabeth#i would seriously love to see these two have a healthy and productive interaction#something that feels reminiscent of their past but mature in light of their present#these two definately deserve it#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#rachel elizabeth dare#these two were adorable#it may not have been romantic#but maybe it didn't need to be#maybe all it had to be was good
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#enki ankarian#fear and hunger#cahara of the south#d’arce cataliss#ragnvaldr#funger#I feel like I’m spamming the Enki tag on tumblr and I feel bad LOL#sorrryyyyyyy am just autistic abt my wife#I’m not an artist by any means and I barely write anything worth sharing (but you best believe I write!!)#so instead I just silly mode this mf until I am blocked by 90% of tumblr for being too annoying#OHHH YEAH that’s what it is I’m scared that people will go thru the Enki tag to see something cool bc he is a rly neat guy#and instead they come across 70+ posts from tumblr user fearfulandhungry about Enki ripping my arms off and giggling#le sigh le sigh Le sigh
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Persecution Complex, or: "Just You, Me, And The Weight Of Your Dead Girlfriend Between Us"
#reanimator#reanimator 1985#herbert west#dan cain#danbert#bride of reanimator#my art#this is the only comic piece from my zine im gonna post here i think. im trying to show SOME self restraint.#but im too geeked abt how this one turned out... want to share The Vision#i may get scared and delete. im shy abt my comic writing. but.#have an early installation in the Gay Herbert West Character Study ive been drawing all year.#shoutout to tumblr auto cropping longer posts now. so i at least dont feel inconsiderate formatting this vertically lol.
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i drew this like a month ago and i am TERRIFIED to post anything on here but ive been convinced
#joshua graham#edward sallow#sallowgraham#im so fucking scared to post man i think i might actually cry#fallout new vegas#fallout#fnv#caesar fnv#fucking wild this thing has become my magnum opus.#im miserable#everyday i rethink the actions ive taken that have lead me to the point i am in life now#i feel like this is to blame for most of the bad things that have happened to me in the past few months#my legacy is nikocado sallowgraham#and i dont think i can ever recover from that.#my life is ruined. i am an artist forever haunted by his past.#anyway i still let out a giggle everytime i see someone reblog this again#i take it back i NO LONGER giggle whenever i see someone reblog this.#i hate it. this thing is a MONSTER.
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
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chapter cards for thirteen: november - april
read on ao3
#I did want to post this bc it's been in my drafts for a while and I do like these#it's fun seeing them all together like this#like my metamorphosis covers master post that was so fun#it does feel a little bit like. I dont know.#meta or ironic or something#that I had to stick a hiatus right down the middle of the chapters#and right at the moment where [redacted] happened#it feels a little bit poetic for there to be a chasm there#watch me like get really inspired next week and write all of may and then none of this means anything lol#who knows#but anyway I like these#april in particular feels so fun and spooky#I love emilie agreste she scares me#autumn asukiess I know you now what im talking about#ml#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#my art#adrien agreste#emilie agreste#ml fic
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Something Wonderful Volume 1 is now available on my Etsy shop!
The fixed books have finally arrived, so it is now on sale! Only $20 for the first 3 chapters, 120 pages of the story!
#cqchat#something wonderful#adventure time#fionna and cake#winter king#simon petrikov#fionna cambell#the photos were already edited so i didnt have to do much work to get this up today#so i got one thing on my checklist done so im happy#okay im gonna disappear again ty for understanding everyone!!#also about my previous post dont worry about me and i know we're all scared right now#im doing my best to feel okay and my friend is going on a mental health vacation#i think im going to do the same#its a very good idea all things considered <3
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MIGHT finish this idk!!
Bonus stupid doodle bc I liked their fuzzy designs.
#art#fanart#my art#original art#wip#work in progress#Splatoon#Splatoon art#splatoon fanart#splatoon fan art#Splatoon marina#marina Splatoon#spatoon marina fanart#marina ida#Splatoon Pearl#pearl Splatoon#Splatoon Pearl fanart#pearl houzuki#Splatoon pearlina#pearlina#pearlina splatoon#Splatoon au#fuzzy Pearl#fuzzy Marina#fuzzy au#sometimes I post these and I’m scared someone’s gonna point out the fact that I include a lot of body hair in them#but like first of all you shouldn’t do that and second of all. it’s pretty to me?? I personally love body hair and it’s natural so why do#i complain about it? it’s also a way to feel comfortable about my own body. idk I got weird coping mechanisms bear with me#im weird in general#and i like it
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DON'T GIVE UP
DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP
IT'S NOT "JOEVER" WE AREN'T "DOOMED" THIS COUNTRY ISN'T "GOING UNDER"
WE ARE THE PEOPLE AND WE HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE THIS COUNTRY!
DON'T LET THE NEWS SCARE YOU OUT OF ACTION! DON'T LET PESSIMISM SCARE YOU OUT OF ACTION! VOTE VOTE VOTE!!
FIGHT FOR YOUR FRIENDS! FOR YOUR FAMILY! FOR YOUR OWN RIGHTS!
WE WILL NOT BE ELECTING TRUMP. DON'T GIVE UP!
#ax speaks#politics#election 2024#us politics#current events#i normally keep stuff that stressed me out off this blog#but DEAR LORD PEOPLE ARE GIVING UP SO EASY#tw caps#caps#its okay to be scared but we need to stick together!!#i feel like throwning up#i might delete later if i get too stresed but god#i wanna scream at some people#democrats we need to get it together#sorry for the shouty post#been stressed out of my mind about this for the past like two weeks#i have therapy and self improvement and moving out to work on#can the world just stop it for like 5 minutes
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JUST GUYS BEIN' DOODS
redraw of the meme under the cut
original by @knightmarebug
#knight rider#kr#michael knight#kitt#knight industries two thousand#bonnie barstow#mk2000#art#shitpost#doodles#having gasoline in a glass one foot away from a flame is a really good idea michael. your brain damage is showing#those bars were just so if i posted it to insta it wouldnt crop but then i thought it looked hilariously cinematic and left them for here#im very charmed by all kitt's alternate scanner patterns. i wish they were used a little more in the show but iirc the one car they rigged#to do that broke in like season 2 or 3 and they couldn't fix it. so they had to go without u _ u#but big emotions means big lights. to me. so he's happy about the date :) the whole bar lights up#he did that Once when he was scared for his life and i did not stop thinking about it. big feels is big lights#anyway i dont know what michael expected to happen; he's in the foundation's public garage. idiot dumbass#bonnie should get chessboard earrings she deserves them#''i hate drawing cars'' - keeps entering car fandoms. keeps drawing cars.
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[Outtake from iterator Prosperity of Populace final speach to her citizen before its disassembly.]
#pov im throwing my fridged woman into the shark pit hoping shel float#rain world#rain world oc#augh tagging#anyhow im testing the water with posting ocs (very scary) with the second half of my itetor duo that live in my brain#so yeah this is pop she is sooooooo wordy and also getting dead and has been for awhile but its just a silly little guy you knwo#the fun thin about fandom ocs is that you get to play with comepelty different parts of the game world fro fun and profit :thumbsup:#ahem uh as always feel free to ask about my stuff there is only a 40% chance i will be so scared to post asks that it will die in limbo for#ever. but maybe youl get lucky!!!!#hmmmm maybe il post the version without the chat bubbles if im feeling brave also...... i probably wont tho huh#anyhow!#we are listning to crack baby by mitksi it is stuck in my head#my art#also maaaannn you wont belive how many versions of her text i went tough till i settled on this augh rainworld why you so wordy
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ummm first time becoming self conscious about the way you act with your best friend because of some middle school bullies :)
#iasip#always sunny#charmac#charlie kelly#mac mcdonald#fanart#mine#i watched ‘close’ nd had some pain#but yeah ofc my brain was like 'i can make that charmac' h8 myslf#mac macdonald#im not good @ dialogue it feel ooc to me but iv ben like staring @ this for days i just need to post it#for th record i dont think mac wd giv a shit abt wat bullies think of him. bt he'd still get n his own head abt it#like hed nevr thought of their relationship tht way b4#nd th possibility alone scares him#1k
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