#i feel pretty dumb rn

[lovelybaka]

I KNEW THAT I KNEW HIS FACE !!

Kuzuryuu Keiichi is played by the same actor as Mimasaka Akira in Hana Yori Dango

It took me two years but now I KNOW !

[gummy-worms-in-my-brain]

"77.kra" just hits different

[dnangelic]

this blog's 1yr creation anniversary is only two months away and tbh even though nobody asked there's always a point for me where i try to evaluate my portrayal and whether or not i'm having fun, whether or not i confidently feel like *other* muns are having fun, (if nobody was why would anybody even be here?? alwdjadkfj) but in a more personal regard, also evaluating whether or not i feel like i've finally 'broken in' a muse and can finally stop 'studying' or trying to reference and adhere as strictly as possible to canon, especially since so many interactions that can happen with rp have never even been remotely explored in canon settings.

there's always some malaise that comes with that; i worry that too much change or growth and comfort with my own private interpretation and portrayal means that i'll somehow drift away from and lose dark and daisuke's original points; their initial thematics and the deeper organic messages of their characters, which i guess makes me sound like a pretentious novelist or your highschool english teacher instead of just a hobby writer, but it's also still important to me who found a lot of positive messages and theatrical magic in dnangel as a series itself to therefore try to be able to handle such things about its characters with equal sincerity and care. i don't want daisuke's overall kindness and optimism to turn bitter or his inner will and courage to turn weak, i don't want dark's tragedies to be neglected nor do i want him to become nothing more than a shallow shipping or fanservice item because of his design and facades, and i definitely, definitely don't want to snip the way these two are so irremovably intertwined within each other, and the way that i'm quite literally writing a 2-in-1 muse, my son(plural) and my sons(singular.)

that all being said, i think i have the confidence to say i've done an okay job, maybe even a Good one. my muse still goes very strong for them even after all this time, and i really enjoy all the relationships they have, especially those of you who were willing to give a completely nonfamiliar canon (or even just a child/teenaged muse with off-the-walls magical girl... criminal.... body horror-y goth phantom of the opera and shoujo satan alignments) a chance. to the old muts i've known from other blogs who've stuck around, thank u! to the new ones that i've only first met on this blog and are still here, thank u guys too! i'm always hoping that i'll get to have plenty more time with everyone in the future, but even if something happens i still can say that i had a really good first year writing dark and daisuke <3

[gemharvest]

I'm glad you're here.

-----

Holy shit. Karl RGBFverse drabble. wtfffff

This was not planned. I did not think I would actually write anything for RGBFverse and idk if I'll ever do something like this again, but something said in the demon core was driving me Insane (/pos) and I needed to get it out. And the only way to properly get it out was writing, so enjoy. :)

-----

A gentle, yet heavy, weight wrapped around a smaller body, holding the other. Holding him. It made the smaller feel soft; warmed his heart– though he still wouldn’t admit that.

Beef didn’t notice how he shook, lightly but still noticeable, more focused on his relief that Yourself was there at all. God, he was so happy the other was there. Had he a more sober mind, he probably would have realized YS brought him to his couch because he thought something was wrong; that it was an attempt to comfort him.

Maybe he was right, that something was wrong. His nightmare (Had it been a nightmare? Even now, it felt so real…) still fresh in his mind. But that wasn't why he came here. He wasn’t really looking for comfort– though still soaked up the attention regardless.

In truth, his worries had been dissuaded when his text was responded to. He didn't need to have come here; didn't need this hug. Sure, he was shaking, but he had been wound up by a bad dream while high. It was inevitable he’d take a bit longer to fully calm down.

What he really wanted was to just be there with YS. To appreciate his presence after being presented with a reality without it. He wanted Yourself to know he appreciated him, even if it required him being vulnerable; soft. He wasn't the one receiving a hug, at least in his mind– he was giving it.

A song wormed its way into Beef’s inebriated mind. Something he had only found recently. And really, it was a miracle he had found it at all. It was something on the slower side, something Beef didn't tend to seek out often, but it had slid itself into his recommendations the other night and the title piqued his interest. Something about ghosts, he vaguely remembered.

Not his usual style, but it captivated him.

Captivated him, and reminded him of someone– someone he clung to right now. Slow, and maybe a bit eerie, but still upbeat. Hopeful. He'd have to play it for him sometime, though he didn't want to break up their embrace to share it right now.

Without thinking, he started to hum its melody out loud. It took him a few moments to even realize what he was doing, that the sound was actually coming from him. He just assumed he was imagining it vividly again. While he'd normally be embarrassed doing something like that– he was getting more comfortable, but not yet that comfortable –he was still high enough to not really care.

It seemed the other party didn't mind, either; Beef feeling Yourself droop on top of him.

Just as he hadn't intended on humming, he wasn't meaning to make YS doze off– but that didn't mean it wasn't a good thing. They were all at least somewhat aware by now that he hardly got sleep, so him resting around any of them was a net positive.

Besides, his dozing meant Beef could keep hugging him without worrying about it getting awkward. Maybe he was a bit greedy for wanting so much time with him out of nowhere, but fuck it. YS’s consequence for pulling him into his family of selves. Should have thought about that before reaching out to other selves who had the capacity to be clingy little shits.

Beef hummed the tune more consciously now that he was aware it was relaxing Yourself; nuzzling in further himself as he did.

Slowly, YS drifted more and more, leaning further onto Beef in the process; which the smaller didn't mind at all. Maybe he couldn't quite relate to Yourself’s craving for warmth, but he could relate to how pressure soothed him. Especially the pressure of a loved one. Maybe he was still scared of admitting it, but that’s what YS was.

He really just wanted to sit there with appreciative thoughts, starting to drift off himself as both the embrace and the weed still in his system lulled him.

Unfortunately, his ADHD wasn’t going to let things be that easy– his mind wandering almost immediately. The more he thought about YS, of how much he appreciated the other being in his life, the more he was brought back to his dream.

A reality without YS. Not just without him, but one where he was dead.

In his dream, he had intended to go see YS– for what reason, he could no longer recall (though that implied he usually had a reason to visit) –but… something went wrong. The mirror-walking must have messed up, because everything felt off. It was YS’s apartment, but nothing looked right. And there was someone there, but it wasn’t YS, and then… they told him. It freaked him out so much, the next thing he remembered was waking up on his couch. Clearly a nightmare, but… it had felt so real, he-

He was glad it was just a dream. The knowledge of YS’s plan was still fresh in his mind, so his subconscious must've just warped it into a dream. That’s how that kind of thing usually happened. He was bothered by how clear everything remained in his mind, even while intoxicated, but it would fade.

That's just how bad dreams were, right? vivid for a little bit after, before being shaken off.

In his moment of derailment, Beef had stopped humming– though the limp body around him didn't seem to notice. That was good, that he had managed to drift off. He deserved rest.

The way his own eyes started to droop told him he wasn't far from it himself, but he wasn't paying much attention to himself. Not only was it hard for him to pay attention to that kind of thing while high, a ghostly glow drew his eyes.

Wings. Or at least, the ghost of them. He had seen them before, though he had ignored the sight back then. Forced it out, really, as he felt guilty for seeing them.

Right now though… he stared. Took note of how they seemed to wrap around him, like one pair of arms wasn't enough to hold him. Like he needed to be shielded in the other's grasp.

It was weird, how they were gone yet still remained in some form– outside of the scarred bumps on his back. Weirder probably for the one who lost them.

Beef wondered if Yourself was aware his wings still appeared, though he had doubts. Both times he had seen them now, YS hadn't been fully conscious– first lost in a trauma response, and now lost in peaceful sleep. It seemed they were something that showed when out of his control. How many others had seen them?

He briefly thought about asking, but even while high he could tell that probably wasn't a good idea. Beef had done enough prodding already. No, his curiosity could take a backseat and instead he'd just enjoy it as a quirk to the other. The way their presence now implied YS’s care for him (that still felt strange, and not because they were the same person), so it couldn't be a bad sign.

Eyes finally feeling too heavy, Beef shifted to bury his face in YS’s chest. A nap wouldn’t hurt.

Part of him worried about having another bad dream, but other thoughts drowned that out as his breathing slowed. He'd be fine, because his big brother was there, in his arms (he didn't think about how it was him being wrapped around). If the dream repeated, he would wake and see he was fine.

Hopefully he would be sober by the time he woke up too. Fuck, he was not going to test his limits like that again.

[savemygrades]

Less than a week till my formatives and I've never felt so unprepared. It's basically 3 semesters worth of content :/ I don't want to completely flop this cause then I'll be pulled into a meeting and like I dont wanna be sat there explaining why exactly I flopped so hard .

[purgaytorysupremacy]

i just hit 2,000 total kudos on my ao3 account and considering I posted my first fic in July 2022 and am the furthest thing from prolific/consistent, i'm feeling very grateful for the people who still read my nonsense

<3

[nomairuins]

how it feels to randomly get rly overwhelmed and frustrated and bitchy and feel like youre going insane

[todayisafridaynight]

arakawa's interchangeability between calling sawashiro 'jo' and 'sawashiro' makes me loco cause i cant really discern when he decides to refer to him as one or the other. except i can.

when it comes to 'professional' matters (i.e. explaining the 'arakawa party' to ichi and explaining the coup against aoki) he refers to him as 'sawashiro'

alternatively, when speaking directly to him and personal matters (i.e. asking ichiban for the two of them to get along) he calls him 'jo' (this literally the same scene as the 'arakawa party' bye you might be able to argue this can be a professional matter too tbh ngl--)

so when arakawa calls sawashiro 'jo' while explaining The Murder to ichi on new years day bitch im going to eat dry wall

[plussizepepsimodel]

Happy Halloweekend I’ve gotta show off how cute this picture is on every possible social media

[hatake]

.

[clownboy-yeehonk]

For my work secret santa I got a gift basket with wine, glasses, a candle, and a llama wine bottle holder thing, and when I thanked the girl who gave it to me she was so excited and told me how she looked so hard for a basket with the Llama because she knew I really liked them and it was just so sweet of her, but the thing is I've never actually had a strong opinion either way on llams. I have a couple scrub tops that have llamas on them (they're a popular pattern theme idk why) but I guess she got it in her head that they're my favorites (for the record my favorite animals are gorillas elephants and any kind of cat big or small)

And like first of all, I would now rather die than EVER let her know my ambivalence towards llamas, but also like...I think about that every time I see a llama now. I'm gonna go through the rest of my life remembering how this girl was so excited to get me something she thought I would like, and she also wrote a really nice card to go with it about me being a good friend, and not to sound like a fortune cookie but the thought does count and it was just so lovely and I'll never think of llamas the same way again bc I do love them now. Anyway love is transformative and also stored in the Llama wine bucket

[manslutz]

gonna word vomit in these tags oops

[skellagirl]

sorry if you followed me for art btw lmao

life busy 😔

adhd bad 😔

[bl00dh0rs3]

the way i have absolutely no business being the way i am

[kuiinncedes]

fngfdjngjdfkng

[attachablepenis]

love when my brain latches onto a story and i cant do ANYTHING else but read it but my brain is also feeling 👉👈 sensitive and the plot focuses on some of MY mental health problems so i cant read it but i also cant do anything else but read it