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When you are unemployed, mysterious voices will tell you to "become a youtuber" but you must remind yourself that it's probably the amulet talking. The amulet you found last week, near the park. It has given you good advice so far, but there is always a line that you shouldn't cross.

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*me, drunkenly pressing my face against my 17 year old cats face*: I love you. Do you know that? I hope that somewhere in your brain you can understand that I love you. You have been with me for so long. We have grown up together. I was only eight years old when you came into my life as a kitten. We were both babies. Please understand that I love you more than I can ever say. You are my companion through everything. When you die I will sob and scream and beg for you back, even for a moment. When you rest your paw against my hands there's a connection that passes through time. Humans and animals, bonded since before history began. I love you.

No, you cannot eat my sandwich.

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"intermission" is a pretty good name for the stretches of road between courses in mario kart world, like it's both an intermission in the sense of a break between races and literally "inter-mission" in the sense that it's between two "missions".

but really since an individual race track is a "course" not a "mission" it should be called an

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CM PUNK WWE RAW, March 24th, 2025

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fearsome fangs friday!!!!!!!!!! bite everyone

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CM Punk + Seth Rollins’ jacket

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i don’t really get most sports but wrestling is fucking great. just a bunch of jacked theater kids beating the shit out of each other in cunty little outfits. i don’t care if it’s fake. all sports should be fake if this is what fake gets you

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having pet stick bugs is fun because every so often i will hear the distinct sound of several stick bug falling and ill go to check on them and find them all in a pile on the ground of their enclosure and i have to figure out if theyve just decided that its floor time now or if they kept mistaking each other for actual sticks again and bundled together the ceiling until gravity got the best of them.

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It’s practically 2014 and you guys still don’t know how to google if an article is real or not before giving it 100,000 notes

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Functionally, there's very little difference between watching a movie on poob and watching a movie on basic cable. Yet, for some reason, the advertisements on poob offend me far more

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I've got a pageant-themed murder mystery party to go to after tomorrow's trial. We're supposed to write our characters' states on our sashes.

I'm tired.

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bugs is…. shrimp????

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Kakashi time traveled in the past and the first thing he did was moping all over Obito. Because!!!! Let Kakashi be held and cared for!!!!!!!!!!

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The YouTube channel anti-chef always adds an extra bay leaf to recipes that call for it and he says “and add another one. I’m not driving” and this has permanently altered my vocabulary.

Every time I add something extra to a recipe I say that now. Add another clove of garlic, I’m not driving. Let’s have two eggs, I’m not driving. Let’s double the chili flakes, I’m not driving.