#i feel like we just didn’t get to see the work it took to rebuild their relationship in the final show

[yuenity]

Forever mourning the loss of Three Dates with Marvin and Whizzer and the This Had Better Come to a Stop reprise. Marvin and Whizzer fixing their relationship? Marvin working to fix his mistakes and change his behaviors? Whizzer giving him another chance but not forgetting what Marvin did to him? IM SICK

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

Rebuild & Restore - Chapter 8

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

All OC Characters belong to me

Monday Morning

Kiyana walked into work that morning feeling like shit was going to hit the fan. Her date with Eli was… wonderful.. It took a while for her embarrassment to go away from Josh showing up and showing his ass but after getting over that they had a great time. If she was being honest, she could see herself settinging down again with him. She had a soft smile on her face as she walked over to the nurses station after checking in on a patient. 

Kiyana jumped as Debra plopped down on the chair next to her. “Spill the tea, tell me everything.” Kiyana laughed at her use of slang that she definitely learned from one of her grandchildren.  Kiyana smirked and contented to chart, laughing when Debra reached over and turned off the computer monitor. 

“Debra!.” She chortled, turning her chair to she was facing Debra who flagged her off.

“It was only the monitor, your work is good.” Debra rolled her eyes. “Spill!” Kiyana rolled her eyes aswell before telling Debra all about her and Eli’s date, minus her ex-husband showing up, she did not want to relive that, at all.  

Kiyana told Debra all about her evening with Elijah, how he took her to The Grand Marlin, how they took a nice stroll on the beach after dinner and when Kiyana told Debra that she and Elijah had gone back to his place, Debra’s eyes were as wide as saucers. 

“Wait, stop” Debra whispered, leaning in closer to Kiyana so none of the other nurses could hear what they were saying. “You guys didn’t… you know.” Kiyana bit her lip before she responded to Debra. 

“No, I mean we didn’t go all the way, if you know what I mean.” Debra’s eyes were still wide but there was now a smirk on her face. 

“Oh, I'm catching what you’re throwing.” she responded, making Kiyana laugh. “Was it good, better yet, was it better than your ex-husband?” 

“Oh my god, Debra!” Kiyana mutters as she placed her head in her hands, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment.  Debra stared at Kiyana as she awaited her answer. “Oh my god” Kiyana muttered again “it was good, but no, nowhere as close.” 

“Sorry to interrupt ya’ll.” One of the new nurses Arin, spoke up as she hung up the phone. “But we have a new patient coming into room 302. EMT’s said her contractions are 8 minutes apart, but she still wants to be admitted.” Kiyana nodded and stood from her seat to go get the patient’s room ready.

“We’re not done talking Nurse Jackson.” Debra called out after her and Kiyana made a yeah-yeah motion with her hand before walking away. Just as Kiyana finished putting a new sheet on the patient’s bed, the expected mother-to-be was rolled into the room. 

“Hi, I’m Kiyana. I'll be your nurse today.” She says as she walks over and helps the patient into the bed. 

“Nice to meet you.” The patient says, wincing in pain as another contraction hits her. Kiyana offers her hand so the patient could squeeze it. “Thank you.” 

“It’s no problem.” Kiyana smiles, “I’ve been in your position four times, I know them contractions hurt. Can I get your name and date of birth?”

“Alexis Daniels.”

'What a small world, Daniels isn't really a common last name.' Kiyana thinks as she logs into the computer to chart Alexis’ vitals.

“December 15th 1989” 

“Perfect, and what is baby boy's name?” 

“Me and my husband still haven’t fully agreed on a name yet, but I like the name Carter.” 

“That is such a cute name. It was my top choice for my youngest as well, but me and my - we went with Kairo.” Kiyana said, smiling at Alexis as she chided herself in her head for almost getting too personal with the patient, not everybody needed to know she was a divorced mother. “I can still put Carter in the chart or we can just call him baby Daniels until you and your husband come up with a name.” 

“Baby Daniels, is perfect. This is our third child but first boy and he really wants to be a part of the naming decision.” Alexis breathed out as another contraction hit her, she then cursed and threw her phone down next to her. “Speaking of husband, can you do me a huge favor.?” 

Kiyana stopped typing and turned her attention to Alexis. “Sure, anything you need.” 

Alexis smiles. “My husband actually works in this hospital, he’s a surgeon on the trauma floor. Do you think you can page him for me? He’s not answering his phone.” Alexis says, holding up her phone and Kiyana felt her stomach twist at Alexis’ words. 'Just a coincidence,' Kiyana thought. 'Just because her last name is Daniels doesn’t mean shit.'

“Mmhm, keep telling yourself that.” That other voice called out, making Kiyana frown. 

“Sure, I can.” She finally responded, plastering a smile on her face. “What’s his name?” 

“Elijah Daniels.”  Kiyana digs her fingernails into her thigh to stop herself from cursing. She was hurt. She felt sick to her stomach as she thought about what she and Eli did last night. 

“Shit, you got such a pretty pussy ma’” Elijah breathed out as he used his index and middle finger to spread her lips and suck her clit into his mouth. Kiyana moaned, lifting her hand to his head before frowning when she realized there was nothing there for her to grab on to. That thought quickly leaves her head as he thrust two of his fingers in her

She felt betrayed and played. Then she started to feel sick to her stomach. ‘Oh my god,’ She thought ‘I'm no better than that woman Josh was sleeping with.’ 

“Kiyana, are you okay?” Kiyana snapped out of her flashback, her voice shaking with anger as she responded back to Alexis 

“I’m fine. I’m gonna go page your husband for you.” Kiyana turns her back to Alexis and storms to the nurses station, snatching the phone off the hook she - as calmly as she could - pages Elijah to the labor & delivery floor. 

“Dr. Elijah Daniels to labor & deliver, Dr. Elijah Daniels to labor & delivery.” Debra arches an eyebrow at Kiyana. 

“You missed him that bad?” She jokes, laughing then stops as she feels the anger radiating off of Kiyana. “Sweetly what happened?” 

“That asshole is married with children! His wife is the patient in 302.” Debra’s jaw dropped open. “I feel so freaking stupid.” She hissed out just as the elevator dinged and the doors opened, revealing a cheerful Elijah who was smiling brightly as he made his way towards Kiyana. 

“I knew that was you, are you okay? Is everything good?.” He smiled, and Kiyana struggled to maintain her composure, because at that moment, all she wanted to do was to smack that smile off his damn face. The more she looked at him, the angrier she got. 

“I don’t know, you tell me.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Your wife is in room 302 waiting to deliver your third child.” She felt a sick satisfaction flow through her as the smile slowly left his face. Debra quickly decided to leave them alone, deciding it was time to go check on her patient. 

“Wait, I can explain.” Kiyana held her hand up, cutting him off. 

“I don’t wanna hear shit you have to say to me Elijah. Think about how your wife will feel once she finds -'' Elijah gripped her arm and pulled her down the hall, away from the nurses station. 

“She aint finding shit out, Kiyana. What I do ain’t none of her damn business.” When she tried to pull her arm away, he gripped it tighter, “You don’t know what I'm capable of Kiyana. You’re gonna go back in that damn room and help my wife through her discomfort and when the time comes, help deliver our child okay?!” He sneered at her, when she didn’t respond he squeezed her arm until she cried out in pain. 

“Ow! Stop. Okay! Okay!” She cried out in pain, feeling her tears sting her eyes. Elijah let go of her arm and straightened out his lab coat. 

“I’m gonna go check on my wife. I’ll see you later.” He brushed past her, leaving her rubbing her arm, where she knew she would be bruised, pulling his wedding ring out of the pocket and sliding it onto his finger. 

🙃🫣

i'm gonna go into hiding now

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[skinnyminiindustrial]

FESTIVAL AT UA

♡Summary: It's been five years since you graduated from UA and became a pro-hero. During a reunion festival back at UA, you are reunited with your old classmates, including Bakugo Katsuki, the spiky-haired blonde who never left your thoughts.

Word count: 1,661

☆*:.｡. o o .｡.:*☆

It had been five years since I graduated from UA, and life as a Pro Hero had its ups and downs for sure, but never as bad as the all-for-one battle. We are still rebuilding and trying to go back to some sort of normal since that day, which is hard, but we will pull through! Today is going to be a break from all that. The reunion festival at UA is happening, and I couldn’t be more excited! I was even more excited to see a certain spiky-haired blonde who had never left my thoughts.

Bakugo Katsuki, “The Boy Who Lived.” I liked to call him sometimes, and it’s all thanks to Edge Shot, who kept his heart beating and fixed him up. He died, keeping him alive. It was a miraculous recovery that Bakugo made. Way before the battle had even remotely begun, Bakugo was always a part of my UA experience. His explosive personality, raw determination, and passion had drawn me in back then, and if I’m being honest with myself, they still do. But back in high school, he was more focused on proving himself than anything else, and I figured that relationships weren’t exactly what he was worried about back then. Also, the all-for-one thing went down, and I never got to tell my feelings to him.

Years of hero work and occasional meet-ups with friends have buried them deep down in my heart. Today was different. Something about being back at UA felt nostalgic, and my heart started to race as I made my way to the festival!

The campus had lights hanging up, but it was evening and there was still light outside, so I couldn’t tell that they were that bright. Confetti littered the ground from the original opening earlier that day. Booths lined the walkways, and I could already spot some familiar faces.

I made my way through the crowd, with a few people stopping me for pictures. I was chatting with old classmates like Kirishima and Mina, and strangely, I felt a familiar explosive energy near me. I turned my head, and there he was—Bakugo Katsuki, his arms crossed. He had his usual scowl as he talked to Deku and Todoroki while walking towards us. He looked so different he looked more grown-up than when I last saw him, more confident and aware of people in a sense. But those red eyes still burned with the same fiery intensity.

I tried to ignore the flutter in my chest. I took a breath as they approached us. “Hey, guys!”

“You made it,” Kirishima said to Bakugo, Todoroki, and Deku as they walked up to us, hugging them all. Bakugo looked not welcoming of it, but he didn’t tell him to back off.

“Of course! We wouldn’t miss this for the world!” Deku smiled as I tried not to make eye contact with Bakugo just yet.

“We were just talking about how weird it feels to be back after everything,” Deku added with the bright smile he used to have back in the day.

“Except we’re all Pro Heroes now,” Todoroki said coolly, glancing at Bakugo with a small smirk.

“TCH. Don’t go getting sentimental, idiots,” Bakugo scoffed, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking away.

I chuckled. “Still as charming as ever, Bakugo?”

His gaze snapped to me, and just for a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of something in his eyes and a slight change of emotion. But before I could even decipher it, he snapped back and turned his head away with a grunt. “Whatever.”

Despite his normal gruff demeanor, I always found Bakugo’s bluntness kind of endearing. It was part of his charm, I guess. He didn’t sugarcoat anything.

The festival continued, with games and activities all around, but my eyes kept finding my way back to Bakugo. I couldn’t help it. I tried to keep myself busy with some festival games—winning a plush toy here, laughing at Kaminari being a fool there—but no matter what I did, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Bakugo’s presence was magnetic.

Finally, I found myself wandering through a quieter part of the festival, away from most of the crowds. The lights that hung up in the trees lighting my path are now brighter because of the night sky. I didn’t notice Bakugo following me until I heard his voice behind me.

“Hey”

I turned around, and my heart skipped a beat. Bakugo stood there, his hands still in his pockets, his eyes locked on mine. “You’ve been staring at me all day,” he said, his tone a mix of frustration and something else I could not quite place.

My goodness, I must have looked like such a freak to him, I bet I creeped him out so bad. Heat rushed to my cheeks. “I wasn’t staring,” I stammered, trying my best to brush it off.

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, taking a step closer. “What’s up with you?”

I swallowed, unsure of how to respond to him. After all, how was I supposed to explain my years of lingering feelings? How am I supposed to tell Bakugo Katsuki that I have had a crush on him since high school?

But before I could even try to answer, Bakugo sighed, his gaze softening—something anyone rarely saw. “You’re different,” he muttered. He’s quieter than usual. “What’s going on?”

I blinked, taken aback. The last time he saw me was when we spit up in our groups to fight. The last time he saw me was when we spit up in our groups to fight the villains. We haven’t talked since then, only hearing things about each other either through the news or through our mutual friends, and yet he is acting like how we used to be back in the day, trying to not show it back then, but I know he cared for me in some way, even if it was something little that he thinks nobody else would recognize even though they all did, and I did too, but right now he’s acting like he was worried.

“I’m fine,” I say softly, though my heart is pounding. “I just… it’s been a while since we have seen each other, and all of us together, it just brings back a lot of memories, you know?”

Bakugo’s eyes flickered with resignation. “Yeah,” he muttered, looking away for a moment. “I get it.”

There was a brief silence between us before he spoke again. “You never said anything,” he said, his voice low. “Back at UA.”

I had a curious look on my face. “Said anything about what?”

“About liking me”

My heart stopped. I stared at him, eyes wide. “W-what?”

He huffed, a small smirk appearing on his face. “You think I’m blind? I noticed. Today I noticed, back then I noticed. I just didn’t say anything because... I wasn’t ready for it back then.”

My mouth went dry since, I guess, I was mouth-breathing and my heart was pounding in my chest. Dude, was he…confessing? Bakugo Katsuki? What the hell was he saying?

“Why are you bringing this up now?” I asked, and my voice was barely a whisper.

He shrugged, his eyes meeting mine again, more serious this time. “‘Cause I’ve had enough time to figure things out. And to be honest, I don’t hate the idea of you liking me.”

My cheeks burned, but before I could say anything, Bakugo stepped closer, his eyes never leaving mine. “So, what do you think?” He asked, his voice soft but confident. “So are you going to keep denying it, or are we doing this?”

I blinked up at him, my heart raving, and a slow smile slowly appeared on my face. “I guess we’re doing this,” I whispered.

Bakugo smirked, and without another word, he leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. It was unexpectedly gentle, and I might say his lips were soft, and he was a good kisser. It was unlike what I imagined it would be. But it was perfect.

Bakugo pulled away from the kiss, his usual confident smirk still on his face, but then there was a softer gleam in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. I was speechless, my heart still fluttering as I processed what just happened. Did Bakugo just kiss me?

“Don’t get all weird now,” he said. His voice was gruff as he scratched the back of his neck, suddenly looking a little awkward and out of his element. “I ain’t good with this kind of stuff, but… you better not regret it.”

I let out a small laugh before I could even stop myself. Seeing Bakugo, usually so tough, loud, and aggressive, flustered like this was kind of cute. “I definitely won’t regret it,” I said softly, my smile widening as I watched him struggle to keep up his tough-guy facade.

“Good,” he grumbled, his pink cheeks still visible by the lights. “‘cause if you do regret it, I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” I teased, stepping a little closer. I felt confident now that the air between us had shifted. “Yell at me until I don’t.”

He shot me a halfhearted glare, but the corners of his mouth twitched upward into a smile. “TCH. Don’t push your luck.”

Bakugo might not have been that emotionally expressive in public, but right now he was letting it all hang out, and right now I could tell he was happy. It was written all over his face.

I think every thing is going to be different now, and I can’t wait to see what happens!

☆*:.｡. o o .｡.:*☆

My first story!!!!

[graciereadshannigram]

this idea for a fic has been kicking around my brain and refusing to let me rest so here's my attempt at getting it out so the bees can leave me alone.

~

Will's voice was a weapon, sharp and commanding as it sliced through the air. Stop right there," he said, his gaze intense as he pinned Hannibal with a look that brooked no argument. "Don’t lie to me."

He watched closely, almost hungrily, as Hannibal’s mask of composure slipped. It was a mere moment, a flicker of something hungry and unguarded that danced across the psychiatrist's face as his meticulous person suit slipped just an inch. The dilation of Hannibal's pupils, a tightness around his jaw—subtle, yet unmistakably a reaction.

"Oh, you like that?" Will’s words slipped out, almost without permission, tinted with a darker, more dangerous curiosity. He savored the slight falter in Hannibal’s stance, the way his usual poised demeanor wavered under scrutiny.

Hannibal attempted to regain control, his voice smooth but slightly strained. "Will, I think you misread—"

"No, I don’t think I did." Will stepped closer, once again denying Hannibal his obfuscations and cutting off the distance, his words a clear no to any form of retreat. "And I just told you not to lie."

The reaction was immediate. Hannibal swallowed, his gaze flitting across Will's face, perhaps seeking either escape or permission. "You’ve always had an effect on me, Will. I admire everything you do, as long as it’s true to your nature."

Feeling a surge of power at the raw honesty, Will took another deliberate step, reducing the space to just a breath away. His voice was softer now, a menacing whisper, "Even if it’s in my nature to control you?"

He watched the visible shudder that ran through Hannibal, the breath that hitched a bit too loudly. It was exhilarating, this visible sign of Hannibal’s composure crumbling, an acknowledgment of the dynamic that Will had always suspected existed between them but had never dared to explore.

"I didn’t mean to seduce you so soon, but I can make it work," Will mused, leaning in closer, forcing Hannibal back against the wall. He could now see, unmistakably, the arousal in Hannibal’s eyes, the quickening of his breath. It was intoxicating, the power, the control, the undeniable rush of answering arousal that coursed through him, knowing he had Hannibal right there, on the edge.

Hannibal looked back at him, his expression a mix of shock and that darker, deeper allure they seldom spoke of. "Will—"

"Tell me about the betrayal, Hannibal," Will cut in, his tone steady, one hand coming to rest against the wall by Hannibal's temple. He needed to hear it, needed to understand, even as he navigated this charged, dangerous game they were playing. "Why did you do it? Why manipulate me–and everybody else–so thoroughly and think there would be no repercussions?"

Hannibal’s voice, when he finally spoke, was calm but thick with an emotion Will couldn’t quite place. "I wanted to see you liberated, Will. Free from the constraints you so blindly follow."

"And yet, here we are," Will shot back, his voice soft but deadly, other hand coming up to fully surround Hannibal with his body. "You’re the one constrained. Does it feel liberating?"

Hannibal’s response was to close the gap completely, pulling Will in so their bodies were flush from hip to chest. "Quid pro quo, Will. I have laid bare my truths. Now show me yours."

The direct challenge ignited something fierce within Will. He met Hannibal’s gaze, his smirk widening. "If my truth involves dominating you, Hannibal, would you accept that as part of my nature?"

A faint smile touched Hannibal’s lips as his composure began to rebuild. "I find my defenses quite...receptive to your advances."

"Good," Will breathed out, a curl of satisfaction unfurling within him. This was just the beginning, a new dynamic unfurling, and he was eager to see where it would lead. "Because I’m just getting started."

[multi-fandoms-posts]

Unexpected Revelations Part 1

Cherik x reader

Logan x sister!reader

part 2, part 3, last part

It was a quiet evening, and Charles, Erik, and I had decided to spend the evening together. After we had curled up on the sofa, the evening turned into an intimate moment where we grew closer. Our conversations grew quieter, and the atmosphere between us became increasingly familiar. Charles and Erik held me gently in their arms, and we simply enjoyed being close to each other.

As the mood between us grew more intimate, something unexpected happened: the door creaked open, and Logan walked in without warning. He was visibly surprised, and his eyes widened in shock. "What the...?" he exclaimed as he saw the scene before him.

I immediately jumped up, though we were still dressed, and covered myself reflexively, my heart racing. "Logan! What are you doing here?" I asked in shock, as he hadn’t told me he was coming by.

Logan stared at us with a look of anger and disappointment. "What is this?" he asked loudly, his voice trembling with anger. "You told me it was just a friendship, and now I see what’s really going on!" Logan said angrily.

Erik and Charles, who had quickly moved away from me, also stood up, their faces showing a mix of shock and anger. "That’s enough, Logan," Erik said, his voice firm and threatening. "You have no reason to treat us this way," Erik said.

Charles stepped forward as well, his face serious and determined. "You can’t just barge in and confront us like this. If you have questions, you can ask us respectfully, but not like this."

Logan looked from Erik to Charles, and then back to me. "I feel betrayed. I never thought you would hide something like this from me. I just wanted to make sure my sister was being treated well, and this..." Logan trailed off.

"This is not something you can judge," Charles interrupted him. "We care for Y/N and have always strived to make her happy. Your intrusion and anger don’t help anyone."

Erik nodded in agreement. "You need to give us a chance to explain the whole truth instead of just getting angry. We’re not enemies; we’re people who love and respect Y/N," Erik explained calmly.

Logan took a deep breath, and his anger seemed to subside somewhat, though he still looked upset. "It’s just hard for me to process all of this. I really wish I had known earlier."

I slowly approached Logan. "I’m sorry you found out like this. I didn’t mean to lie to you, but it was complicated to find the right time to explain everything," I said with a calm voice.

Logan closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "I understand that it’s complicated. I’ll try to think it through and accept it," Logan said.

Charles stepped closer and placed a hand on Logan’s shoulder. "We’re willing to talk openly about everything if you have questions. But we also expect you to respect us and not intrude on our private moments," Charles said.

Logan finally nodded and turned towards the door. "Okay. I’ll try. But I need time to process all of this," Logan said.

As Logan left the room, Charles, Erik, and I let out a deep breath. The tense atmosphere was still palpable, but we knew we had to face the challenge of rebuilding trust and showing that our relationship was strong and honest.

We sat back down on the sofa, and Erik gently pulled me into his arms. "That was tough," he said quietly. "But we’ll get through this together," Erik said.

Charles nodded and gave a faint smile. "We just need to be patient and give him the time he needs. It will all work out," Charles said.

With those words, we tried to end the evening on a hopeful note, hoping that the coming days would clear up the situation and bring our relationships back into harmony.

[ifortom]

Champagne Problems - T.H.

Synopsis: Tom and y/n, a couple that used to be inseparable, now face a deep crisis in their marriage. Their daughter, Olivie, 4, is in the middle of this emotional turmoil. With busy lives, differences of opinion and fragmented communication, the love that brought them together is slowly fading. After the aftermath they must face their own demons, rediscover empathy, and find a way to rebuild the relationship they once shared. Not just for themselves, but also for the well-being of their daughter, who longs for a united family.

A/N: Well here it is, this is a rollercoaster of emotions and I hope you enjoy it. An important note: English is not my first language so I hope you understand if there are any errors, be kind and let me know if necessary and I can fix it.

W/A: +5k

‘’Where’s my sweet baby pie?’’ You heard Nikki’s voice before she even opened the front door.

‘’Grandma!’’ Olivie screamed loudly when she saw her grandmother and ran straight into her open arms.

‘’Hi sweetie! I missed you.” She said hugging the little girl tightly. ‘’Everyone was waiting for you.’’ Olivie smiled and made her way inside the house without looking back.

Nikki turned to you, as you walked in the living room and smiled opening her arms just like she did with Ollie, welcoming you into a warm hug.

‘’What about you, darling? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.’’

‘’I know, and I’m sorry for that. Work’s been so hard lately, there’s a lot going on.’’ It wasn’t a lie, the last few weeks had been a pain in your ass with so much work since you got your promotion to chief editor at the publisher you worked.

‘’Yeah, Tom told me, that’s great news though!’’

‘’Its is, I’ve waited this for such a long time. But is complicated, Ollie is growing up and I feel like I’m missing out sometimes.’’ She smiled softly at you.

‘’I get it, just try not to stress yourself, that girl needs you... and you know, your promotion wasn’t the only thing Tom talked to me about the last time he was here... what’s going on with the both of you?’’

This was a question you really didn’t want to reply and this was a conversation you didn’t want to have, especially with your husband’s mother.

‘’I guess our relationship has seen better times but we’re trying. I’m just... I can’t have this conversation right now”

‘’I see... it’s alright sweetheart. I don’t want to intrude, just want to see you happy, the both of you. And that little girl.’’

‘’Me too.’’ You smiled at her, trying to hide the forming lump on your throat. ‘’I need to go, Tom is probably already home and we need to get ready.’’

‘’Of course. I’m going to find Ollie for you to say goodbye.’’ She walked out in the direction of the back garden.

While you waited, you took your time looking around the living room you’ve seen a thousand times already. Memories spread across the walls in the form of photos. Tom’s graduation day, Paddy’s first day of kindergarten, your wedding day, their family trip to Hawaii, Olivie as a new born. Memories you’re proud to be a part of.

The sound of small feet running to you woke you up from the small daydreaming.

‘’Mummy!’’ She hugged your legs and you bent down to her level to stare into her eyes.

‘’I’m going now, ok? Remember our deal?”

‘’Yeah, to be a good girl for grandma.’’ She said happily remembering your words from earlier.

‘’That’s right! Two nights, ok? And then we’re taking you home.’’

‘’You and daddy?’’ She asked playing with a string of your hair.

‘’Yeah, mummy and daddy.” She nodded. ‘’Alright, now give mumma a hug.’’ You tighly held her for a while, taking in her baby scent, the one you loved so much. ‘’Bye, babybug.’’ She let go of you and turned around finding her grandmother standing next to the couch. ‘’Bye Nikki, thank you for taking care of her. And please, say hi to everyone.’’

‘’Always. And please, have fun. You both need that”

...

Tonight was a special night. Tom’s company is hosting a party to celebrate a new partnership with a foreign company and, of course, as the wife of one of the partners, your presence is unquestionable. You need to be there to support your husband and keep the facade of the perfect couple with the perfect family. Because no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

You stared at yourself in the mirror. The dark red dress you chose hugs your curves in all the right places, the small slit on the leg made it a little more daring but didn't lose the classic touch. It had been a while since you dressed up for a gala event, so you decided to take advantage of the opportunity and remember your features that have been hidden for a while.

Tom entered the room wearing his elegant suit. His hair was straightened and with every step he took he exuded class, and as you watched him in the mirror's reflection, you noticed his gaze fixed on your body.

 ''Woah, you look beautiful tonight'' Was the first thing he said. Tom hadn't had the opportunity to see the dress you had chosen before this moment, so it was definitely a surprise.

''Yeah, I wanted to try something today.'' You smiled, breaking eye contact in the mirror and going to the table next to the bed, picking up the necklace you had chosen. ''Can you put it on for me?'' You walked up to him and handed the necklace into his hands, turning your back.

Tom calmly analyzed the necklace and felt his breathing hitch. There was the necklace he had given you just before Olivie was born. Your pregnancy was not easy. There were many complications during the period and the risk of something happening to you or the baby was high. To this day, he is grateful that you two made it out of the operating room safe and sound.

The small, sparkling jewel dangled from the chain, reminding him of simpler times. He knew the moment he saw it for the first time that you would love it. It was simple, but it carried enormous emotion, love and hope.

He raised his hands towards your neck and noticed that they were sweating. And you felt his warm breath on your neck and his fingers delicately ran across it, making goosebumps run down your body. How long has it been since you felt each other's touch like this? It's impossible to believe that the two young people who couldn't live without having contact with each other for a long time became like two strangers afraid to touch.

Maybe a few years ago he would have come closer, placed his hands on your waist and left a kiss next to your ear. You would have thrown your head back leaning on his shoulder and the two of you would have stayed like that for a while.

But things changed and the two of you were no longer the same couple at the beginning of a relationship as you were before. Life happened and differences emerged, thoughts changed and opinions diverged. How could things be the same as before?

Instead, Tom put space between you and scratched his throat. His hand went to the back of his head. You looked in the mirror once again.

''I'm driving today, so if you're ready we can go''

You nodded and turned to him waiting for some reaction. Whatever it was. But what you got was him turning his back and walking towards the bedroom door. Holding back the cry that wanted to leave your throat, you lifted your head and followed him. Time to play the part.

...

The path to the venue's party room was silent. In the car, Tom let the music take over the space. As you mouthed the lyrics to a random song that was playing, Tom let furtive glances find you. But you would never know it.

When you arrived, a boy went towards the car while Tom opened his door. He quickly turned around and opened your door, extending his hand to help you out. Tom thanked the boy who entered the space he previously occupied and left with the car to park it.

You held onto Tom's arm as you walked together to the entrance of the already crowded room. Taking a deep breath, a smile appeared on your face as Harrison, Tom's best friend and one of his partners, walked towards you.

''You're finally here, what happened that took you so long?'' He said suggestively, making Tom laugh.

‘’No need to pry, mate.’’ Tom replied, now wrapping his arm around your waist. ''We arrived and we are fine, thank you for asking.''

''No defensiveness, Tom. You look great tonight, Y/N.'' Harrison said.

''Thanks, H. You don't look bad either.'' Harrison smiled and spun around as if showing off his outfit. You laughed at his mannerism.

''Well, some of the investors are already here and want to meet the person responsible for the partnership with the Japanese company.''

''Don't put all this on me, you were responsible too.''

''Wait, Tom... you didn't tell me that this came from you.'' You said resting one of your hands on his chest.

''What? Didn't he tell you? It turns out that if it weren't for this guy here, things wouldn't have happened. He was the one who stayed up working for hours and hours, making it impossible for the company to refuse the agreement.'' Harrison said.

How come Tom never mentioned this? Of course you knew something big was about to happen at the company but you didn't know that Tom was working so hard on it. So every night he took a while to get home, he was at work? Was the silence that came from him caused by this?

Tom looked uncomfortable, which was strange. Why was he acting like this?

A waiter approached the three of you and held out a tray with glasses of what looked like champagne. Harrison took one, while Tom did too and handed it to you.

''Aren't you going to drink?'' Harrison asked raising an eyebrow.

''I'm driving tonight.'' His hand returned to your waist and you felt his fingers lightly caressing over the thin material of the dress. ''Let's do this. I'll be right back, okay?'' He turned to you, who in response just nodded.

''Y/N, Sophie is near the bar. She was looking forward to your arrival.'' He pointed to where his wife was talking to two women unknown to you. ''She said that only you understand her in this place.''

''I say the same about her.'' You started walking towards your friend, who, upon seeing you, completely forgot about the two strangers she was talking to.

''I'm so grateful to see you. I was already starting to panic.'' She hugged you. ''Girl, and that dress! You look wonderful.'' She said looking you up and down.

''Did you like it? I think I made the right choice.''

''Definitely. I bet Tom went crazy when he saw you like that'' She said winking. Sophie was one of the only people who knew about how troubled your relationship was, and she certainly hoped that things between you would get better.

Just like your words to Harrison, she was the only person you could count on at the moment. Ever since their relationship began, just a few months after you and Tom became official, you two had been inseparable. The two of you worked together to help the two of them when they decided to start a company. And in this world made of appearances, you remained the same.

Obviously, Tom and Harrison have other partners who are married to snobbish and difficult to deal with women. And even though their husbands only have a small portion of the company, they act as if they are in charge of everything and everyone.

That's why you two stick together. Holding each other.

''It turns out that I was also expecting a reaction but I didn't get much.'' You say dejectedly taking a sip of the drink. Her hand affectionately roams your arm.

''I'm sorry, darling. He may not have shown it but I bet he won't resist and at the end of the night we know what will happen.'' The suggestive way in which she spoke made you laugh sincerely. ''We know what you have hidden there!'' You chuckled even though you weren't sure how this night would end and if it would go that way.

''For now I don't want to think about it, let's just enjoy it, okay?'' You tell her, holding her hand and pulling her close to the bar. ''Let's order a drink!''

And while you distracted the thoughts that disturbed you with what you were experiencing at the moment, Tom followed your every move, instead of paying attention to the compliments and questions he received.

''What you're doing for the company is great, Thomas! I'm sure it will grow more every day.'' Peter's hand, one of the investors, stopped on his shoulder, pulling him back.

''Thanks, but I wouldn't be able to do any of this alone.'' He said. ''None of this would be possible without the help of everyone who works at the company. Everyone, without exception.''

''And he's still humble. You really impress me, boy'' Peter laughs, making everyone in the circle laugh too.

''If you'll excuse us, we need to talk for a second.'' Harrison interrupts and pulls Tom aside, leaving the circle of middle-aged men. ''Mate, are you okay? You seem a little distant.''

Tom stares at the ground, trying to keep himself steady. His emotions were running high, and he didn't want to show it, at least not here and now.

''Yeah, I just need to have a glass of water.'' He replied walking towards one of the waiters who was carrying what he needed. ''This conversation has stressed me out. Harrison, I didn't do it all alone. You were part of it too.''

''Tom, I know that. Just accept the compliment, you know that's what they like to do. They're just interested in the money they're going to receive from all of this.'' Harrison says, resting his hand on his friend's shoulder. ''You do not need to worry about me. After all, I didn't lie about who actually stayed up late working on this project. The merit is yours, my friend.''

‘’Thanks, mate” Tom smiled and hugged his friend.

''Let's mingle a little bit more, okay? Then we can return to the arms of our dear wives.'' After Harrison's words, Tom's eyes went looking for you again. And they found you in the same place, laughing and enjoying the night, looking freer than before. ''Speaking of which, why didn't you tell her what was going on?''

''I think I was working too much and didn't want to worry her. She just got promoted and you know how Y/N is like. Always putting the needs of others above her own.’’

''Tom, she is your wife. Not to mention she's the mother of your daughter. She needs to know about things that happen, you can't deal with everything alone.''

''I know that.'' He took a deep breath. ''But this is not the time for that, shall we continue?''

Harrison looked a little disappointed but didn't want to step on any more toes, so he just agreed and they carried on with the night.

...

''I can't believe he did that.'' Sophie said shocked. ''What an asshole.''

''Well, you can believe it.''

''He promotes you and still has the courage to challenge you? Doubting whether you will be able to complete your tasks on time?''

Since you were promoted, your boss has been making comments about your work making you doubt whether it was a good choice or not. Which doesn't make sense because the decision to promote you was his. How can he doubt your abilities now?

''It's been exhausting but I've been trying not to pay too much attention to his sarcastic comments.''

''I bet so, but I'm sure you're doing an excellent job.'' She smiled. ‘’Seriously, you shouldn't care about this asshole’’

''Whoa, who's the asshole?'' You heard Harrison's voice, and turned around to find him and Tom approaching the two of you.

''Y/N's boss is trying to make her work life hell.'' She responded as Harrison hugged her from behind. At that moment you felt jealous of her. ''Hey, want to dance?''

''Hm, one of the bosses embarrassing himself on the dance floor with his lovely wife? Is this something everyone here would like to witness?'' He pretended to think for a while before holding her hand. ''I bet they wouldn't miss this for anything.'' He dragged her to the dance floor, leaving you and Tom standing next to each other laughing.

When the laughter stopped it was strange. They were there, husband and wife embarrassed to be so close. Tom broke the ice and got closer to her, who leaned back on a table. His hands went to her waist while hers went to his chest.

''I would ask you to dance too, but I don't know if everyone here is prepared to watch this disaster.'' The playful tone in his voice made her startle. She feigned shock.

''Are you sure about that? Am I the cause of disaster? Do I need to remind you of our first dance? How many times did you step on my foot that night?'' They laughed together and for the first time in a long time, you felt close to him. Almost complete. He was there, and he was yours. ‘’Tommy...’’

His heart missed a beat when he heard the nickname. Your hands went around his neck, your face slowly approaching his.

‘’Yeah, darling, I’m here.’’

''I really miss you.'' You say placing your head on his chest. ''I'm tired.''

''Do you want to go home?'' He asked, stroking your back.

''Are you sure? It's your party. I can go alone if you want. I'm not that drunk, I'm just really tired.'' Your voice was muffled but he could hear it.

''It doesn't matter, I won't let you go alone. I just need to say goodbye to some people, okay? And talk to Haz.'' He said, making you look at him.

''Okay, I'm going to the bathroom.'' He nodded and let you go. Watching your path before following his.

In the bathroom, you looked at yourself in the mirror and noticed how flushed you were. Not knowing if it was caused by the drinking or the closeness you were with your own husband.

You entered one of the stalls just as two women entered the bathroom.

''Did you see them today?" One of them said. ‘’They look so hot.’’

''Yeah, it's a shame they had those two clinging to their arms all night.'' The second voice said, Ava, you recognized it. She was Tom and Harrison's assistant at the company. The person everyone has to deal with directly before they can exchange a word with either of them. Normally, she is the one who decides which issue is extremely important and needs to reach them or not.

''Did you see Y/N tonight? I never imagined she could dress so well''.

''It was definitely just for the show.'' Ava replied and you held your breath in fear that they would realize that there was someone else in the same room as them. ''At least she looks pretty today.''

''And how do you feel about that?'' The girl asked cautiously.

''What do you mean by that, Izzy? Do you think I'm afraid of her?'' Ava mocked. ''You don't even know the half of it.''

''It's his wife.'' The second girl, Izzy, clarified.

''Do you want to know? Tom and I have become very close these last few weeks. Late one night, while we were at the office, he opened up to me. He was very honest saying that their marriage is not going well. Made it seem like he was tired of her or something.'' She said. ''What they did today was just to keep up appearances. I know what he really wants.''

''You mean he wants you?'' Izzy said and you felt your heart stop waiting for the answer.

''It's not that, I mean, we had a moment. This week, he was in the middle of a meeting when his daughter's daycare center called. Something about her fighting with a colleague over a pen, childish stuff, you know? I needed to act and since my name was on the list of people who could pick her up, I went.'' You felt dizzy upon hearing the information. How had Tom not told you this? ''I think he was extremely grateful, we hugged and well, we almost kissed.''

Everything was getting blurry, you couldn't believe he would do something like that.

''It didn't happen, so I don't want to say he wants me, but maybe he wants to get rid of her.'' She finished. ''Anyway, I wouldn't have a relationship with him. A daughter and an ex-wife? It is not for me. But that's it, looking doesn't take away anything.''

They left the bathroom still gossiping, but you couldn't hear anything else. How could he have done this? Not just exposing your relationship to a stranger and almost kissing her but hiding something about your own daughter? Trying to remember a moment that may have been abnormal, you remembered two weeks ago, when Tom called you informing you that he was already at home with Ollie earlier and that you didn't need to pick her up. This was unusual, and never happened unless you agreed beforehand.

Something happened at her school, little Olivie got into trouble and you didn't know about it. You couldn't discipline your own daughter because your husband decided to hide it from you.

After the shock, some things started to make sense and well, your husband almost kissed another woman. There's a lot going on and you're not in a good place to think about it. Your only goal now is to go home.

Leaving the cabin, you looked in the mirror and finally noticed the tears running down your face.

You quickly wiped your face and left the bathroom, encountering who you wanted to avoid. He was there, near the door, talking to the two women who had just exposed the biggest nonsense that Tom Holland could have done in his life. His eyes met yours and he was distracted, confused by your expression, soon the women also noticed that you left the bathroom right behind them.

And they knew what they had done. They said goodbye to Tom without looking back. He walked up to you and cupped your face with his hand.

''Y/N what happened?'' He said worriedly, you grabbed his wrists, removing his hands from your face.

''I'm going home.'' Was the only thing you said before walking past him towards the exit. Without looking at anyone, not even Sophie.

When you finally left the salon, the same boy from earlier was standing in front of the familiar car, waiting for the owner. He spotted Tom, who was behind you and handed him the keys.

He thanked the boy and stopped in front of you.

''Let's go, and we'll talk about what's going on.'' He held your hand only for you to make him let go right away.

''I'm not going with you''

''What? Y/N, get in the car.''

You shook your head and the tears came back. Soon your face was covered and you couldn't control it.

''No. How could you... how could you do this to me?" Your voice was increasing and Tom started looking around frantically.

''Y/N, baby, please. Let's go home.’’ Your hands went to your face, hiding it, embarrassed by this whole situation.

''You're hurting me so much, Tommy.'' Carefully he approached you and hugged you. And you allowed it. Because you are tired, tired of fighting, of holding this relationship alone, of holding a family alone.

Tom managed to guide you to the car and just like on the way there, the return was filled with silence. The only thing that could be heard this time was the sound of your sniffing.

When you arrived home, you were the first to get out of the car without looking back. Tom hadn't even parked properly and you were already outside. Sobriety overshadowed any drink you had this evening. With difficulty you found the keys to the front door inside your bag.

Finally inside the house, you took off your heels, leaving them at the entrance and made your way to the living room. You can hear Tom closing the door and walking right behind you.

''Can you tell me what happened to Ollie at school?'' You turned to him. ''Or are you going to keep hiding this from me?''

And so, Tom understood. He finally understood what had happened. You knew everything.

''She had a fight with a friend. Apparently, he took something from her and she tried to resolve it by pushing the child.'' Tom said as he ran his hands through his hair, messing it up. ''The child was not hurt and the parents understood that it was just a silly disagreement between the children. But the school called me to talk about her behavior.''

''They just called you, or called us both?’’

''Both of us.'' He said knowing where this was going. Your face contorted into an expression of pain.

''Do you know how that makes me feel, Tom? My daughter behaved badly and you omitted me to be responsible for it. She's not just yours, Tom. I need to know these things. What does this teach her? That it's ok if she hides certain things from me, because you did the same? And when she decides to do this with both of us? That hiding things is better?''

''I know I made a mistake, Y/N but I didn't want to burden you. I know the work has been difficult. Hell, you said that to Sophie today.'' He said trying to defend himself. ''I'm sorry for hiding it from you, but I did it thinking about saving you some worry.''

''Thomas, she's my daughter too. I need to know what happens to her. God, Tom, she's 4 years old.'' You try to reason with him, who just sits on the couch. ''I know that's not the whole reason you kept this from me.''

And when he looks up, you find him with eyes full of tears ready to collapse.

''I heard Ava's conversation in the bathroom, that's how I found out. I know she went to pick up Olivie that day. And for the record, I know she's your secretary but I want her off the list of people who can pick up Ollie.'' You say, moving away from him. ''I know what happened next. Between you two.''

Tom quickly stood up in front of you, his eyes begging you to accept whatever he was going to say.

''I don't know what she said, but you need to believe me when I tell you that nothing happened between us. I could never do that to you Y/N, you need to know that.'' And to his surprise you smiled softly. ''From the first moment you came into my life, I knew I would never need anyone again, no matter what.''

''Tom, what happened to us? When and why did we grow so far apart? Isn't this what we wanted, our family?''

''I know I've been distant but Y/N... things really aren't easy. We almost lost... we almost lost the company. Our accounts weren't good, there was a month when I thought we wouldn't be able to pay the employees. Me and Haz were desperate.'' He turned around as if he was embarrassed. ''We almost lost our investors. That's why I had to work twice as hard. So I spent a few nights away from home. In the midst of all this, all I could think about was the two of you. I needed to protect you no matter what.''

Your face softened upon hearing his outburst.

''It's been 10 years since we started this project and look at everything we've built. I had to do something. I know you work and believe me, you are the best at what you do, and your boss is just another asshole in this world who thinks he is better than others, but wouldn't be able to do half as much as you.’’

His face, like yours, was already full of tears.

''I'm sorry, I just couldn't let it all end like this. So, I did everything I could to rebuild what we have.'' He finished, approaching you once again, carefully his hands cupped your face. ''I'm sorry, my intention was never to hurt you. I would never do that.''

Without thinking twice, your lips pressed against his. You hadn’t felt them in a while. Your hands went to his hair while his went to your waist, pulling you as close as possible. As you deepened the kiss, Tom's hands ran down your back. His lips trailed down to your neck and collarbone, leaving open-mouthed kisses along the way.

Your hands found the jacket he still wore, removing it.

''Y/N, I don't want to... are you sure?'' He said with a hitched breath as you left small kisses on his lips. It had been so long since you had truly felt him.

''Yes I'm sure. I miss you so much, Tom, please.'' You said as you stared at him firmly.

He guided you to your room and as always, you let him, trusting him as you always did. And that night, Tom made you feel what you hadn't felt in a while, closeness to him. The care he always had, the affection. Skin on skin, sweat, short and mixed breaths.

...

On Sunday, two nights later, in the morning Tom told Nikki that you would be there for lunch and she could barely contain her happiness at hearing the news. Somehow she managed to notice the difference in her son's tone of voice and knew that things were working out.

Of course, you talked afterwards, for a long time, and agreed that you wouldn't hide anything from each other, especially issues related to Olivie. And you would always be there to listen to each other in any difficulty that may arise. That's what you promised when you exchanged rings and it would remain that way for a long time.

''Mumma, daddy!'' Olivie's excited voice was the first thing you heard when you arrived in the back garden of the Holland family house.

''Hi, baby!'' You said as Tom picked Ollie up. ''Did you have fun with grandma and grandpa?''

''Yeah, we made cookies.'' She said excitedly.

''I hope you left one for me.'' Tom said making the little girl laugh.

''I ate them all.'' She said jokingly. ''Sorry dad.'' Tom opened his mouth pretending to be shocked and you laughed at their mannerism.

This was what you missed, moments of joy and togetherness, happiness and love.

______________________________________________________________

Hope you liked it!

[ninthcircleofprythian]

Unbound

Part 8 - Take Me To Church

Series Summary - Not having a mating bond didn't stop the love Azriel and Celeste have for each other or their commitment. When an unknown magic lingering from Celeste's past causes her to lose all memories of the last century, will they be able to rebuild their life without a bond tethering them together?

Word Count - 5k

Warnings - references to injuries, references to past abuse/imprisonment, suicidal thoughts, memory loss, all of the angst

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Through a tug on her mating bond, Nesta was informed that Cassian and Azriel were outside the bounds of Velaris but would return within the hour. Seeing as they needed the Illyrian’s assistance in getting up to the House of Wind, they returned to Celeste’s townhouse to wait for their arrival. After changing her work worn clothes and splashing some cold water on her face, Celeste made her way downstairs to the living room to join Nesta. 

“Don’t you get tired of having to rely on Cassian to get you in and out of your house?” 

“Not really. I honestly spend more time there than anywhere else. I have a sentient house and a full library. Why would I want to leave?” She laughed softly.

Nesta had previously told her all about the wonders of the House of Wind. Celeste was actually very interested in exploring the library located there, although that wasn’t the reason for her request today.

The sound of the front door latch being pushed open grabbed her attention as Nesta stood to meet the males as they walked through the door.

“Nes, my love,” Cassian greeted her with open arms attempting to pull her into an embrace, but she placed a hand firmly against his chest and held him at a distance.

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Ugh, you stink. Like males and testosterone.”

“Normally that would elicit a different reaction,” he laughed with a wink and wiggling his eyebrows.

Celeste came to stand directly before the door they had just entered, her eyes flaring wide for a moment taking in the sight. Half of Cassian’s face was taken up with a swollen bruise, from eye to jawline. Spots of blood had been half heartedly cleaned from around his nose and lip. Nesta didn’t seem to be surprised in any way at the state of her mate. Scanning her eyes over to the other side of the doorframe Celeste observed that Azriel was sporting a few injuries himself. 

“Don’t look so shocked sweetheart,” Cassian said to Celeste, grabbing her attention again. “Just some males having a little bonding time that’s all. No hard feelings, right brother?”

Cassian reached around Nesta to tap Az’s shoulder with the back of his hand. Az’s stoic face shifted into a forced half smile. “Yeah,” he responded.

Celeste took them both in, darting her eyes from male to male. It appeared they did this on purpose to each other.

Was there an argument? What were they fighting over? Who started it?

The revelation from just a short while ago began to wash away as that uneasy suspicious feeling began bubbling up again in her gut. 

“Normally you’d play my nurse maid,” Cassian directed at Celeste. Her thoughts fizzled before she could let them run loose. “But no worries, Nes can take care of me even if the healing part looks a little different than what you normally do.” 

“Seriously Cas, enough.” Nesta chided with a swat to his shoulder. “Celeste wants to visit the library temple. I told her we would go this afternoon.”

“Yeah, sure.” Bending down to scoop Nesta up in his arms, he smiled. “Hold on tight love.”

Maybe it was the information overload of the day or the shock at seeing both males walk through her door injured, but Celeste hadn’t even considered what getting to the House of Wind entailed until now. Realizing she would have to be carried in flight had her frozen in place and it wasn’t the flying that worried her. 

Realizing her hesitance, Nesta elbowed Cas to let her down. “We don’t have to go if you aren’t comfortable. We can do this another time.”

“No,” Celeste said before thinking. The need that had cropped up at the apartment building persisted. “No, I want to. Just –” she took in a shaky breath.

Azriel hadn’t moved to assist her in preparation for departure. He hadn’t even moved from his position by the door since arriving back home. Glancing at Cassian again she decided he was the preferable option.

“Could I fly with you?” She asked timidly.

“Yeah.” Cas answered soothingly. “Yeah. Of course.”

There was something easy about Cassian that appealed to her sense of security. Quick with his humor and always teasing his loved ones had done wonders in comforting some small part of Celeste’s worry in this new-to-her world. The brief flash of hurt that crossed Azriel’s gaze went unnoticed by everyone but Nesta. As they all prepared to leave, she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder with a consoling look of her own.

The act of allowing Cas to handle her body to carry her for flight already had her teeth on edge, but it was the jolt of kickoff that nearly shattered her already fragile nervous system. Celeste squeezed the arms around his neck involuntarily as she screwed her eyes shut tightly.

“Don’t worry. I won’t drop you, I promise.” Cas said with a chuckle in his voice.

“I’m not afraid of heights.” Celeste responded firmly, still refusing to open her eyes.

He allowed the chuckle to leave his throat this time. “I know.”

Easing open one eye and then the other, Celeste allowed herself to take in the view from their still ascending position. It really was a magnificent view, the city spreading out behind them as they veered towards the hillside. This time when she closed her eyes, it was only to focus her senses on the feel of the wind against her face. 

“I used to fly, you know,” she spoke softly into the wind, barely enough to be heard. “Before my wings were – taken.”

“I know,” Cas answered, nearly as inaudible as her. If anyone could imagine the horror of losing their wings, it was him. This time it was his grip that tightened slightly against her. 

Moments passed in quiet before she spoke again. “Did Azriel do that to you?” She nodded towards his face as she turned to face him. 

“To be fair, I did bait him into it,” he answered matter of factly.

Her brows pinched together in a look of disgust. “Why? Why would you want someone to do that to you?”

“I didn’t exactly want to do it. I don’t normally desire to have my beautiful face rearranged.” Cassian smiled as he spoke before his face turned serious again. “But it was for the best. He needed to get out of his head for a while.”

Celeste knew the feeling of being wrapped up inside her own head a little too well. The desire for escape from her thoughts was always a tempting one but violence had never crossed her mind as the answer. 

“And taking it out on his friend like a punching bag was the best way to go about that?” Her remark was snide with disbelief.

“We are Illyrian, Celeste. Born and bred to be warriors and soldiers. Pushing our bodies to the limits is what we know. Sometimes it’s the only way to get those thoughts to calm long enough to sort them out rationally.” Cas watched her face carefully as he noticed her revulsion. “We know our limits though. We know when it's needed and also when it's undeserved. None of us here would ever initiate something like that without knowing the other was willing or able to take it. I’d rather Az take it out on me than himself.”

“And that’s what he would have done? Take it out on himself?” Her eyes were searing straight into his, the answer she expected lingering between them.

“Yes. That’s exactly what he would have done. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but Az tends to be a pretty private male. He would have retreated into himself and let those thoughts eat him from the inside. I didn’t want to watch that happen again. He’s been through a lot. But he would never hurt you, Celeste.”

A sudden pang of guilt hit her. Of course this last week or so had been hard for him too. It wasn’t just her life that had been completely upended, but his as well. The life he shared with her – as her husband. 

“It has been a hell of a week,” she admitted meekly as she cast her gaze toward her knees.

“It certainly has. I meant he’s been through a lot in general though. In his life. Before now, like in his past.”

Celeste met his stare once more as he continued. “He’s been through a lot of terrible stuff. Like you.”

The pause before those last two words told Celeste exactly what he meant. Cassian’s tender knowing look at her made her squirm a bit in his arms as she looked away again, her thumb beginning their familiar anxious path between her fingers. The silence lengthened between them as she felt them begin their descent. 

“Is that what happened to his hands?” 

She didn’t need to see the look on his face or hear the words that didn’t come as they touched down to know the answer. They landed on the wide terrace of the House of Wind without the answer ever coming. 

Nesta and Azriel quickly followed suit, landing just a few feet away. The mates fell into step side by side as they made their way to lead them into the house. With a sideways glance at the remaining male, Celeste measured her distance and followed behind. Az took the cue and left a wingspan of distance between them as he too followed. 

Nesta rambled on animatedly as they walked through the winding halls that carried them lower into the house, pointing out interesting things along the way. Celeste wasn’t really listening, focused instead on the measured steps beside her as she stole glances here and there. Azriel’s face was still stoic, but also looked measuredly more tired than it had at the townhouse. She briefly wondered at the conversation that must have taken place on his flight over here with Nesta. Deciding she would pester her friend about it later, she focused her attention on the doors they were approaching. 

The library was buried deep under the house proper, carved into a spiraling hollow from the mountain itself. The enormous stone doors that stood before them were obviously much too heavy for even the Illyrian’s that accompanied them but they slid open of their own accord, no doubt controlled by that mysterious magic the house carried.

Inside Celeste could see the beginning layers of the massive shelves before they dipped into a curving spiral further below them. The sheer amount of volumes fascinated her and she very much wanted to spend hours exploring them. Not today though, today had already been long enough and the task she had set herself to complete still weighed heavy on her mind. 

The group stopped short of the hewn desk situated at the library entrance where every visitor had to pass before entering. A tall slim figure, clad in pale blue robes and adorned with a hood stood sentry behind it. As they lingered, Cassian excused himself and headed back the way they came while Nesta slipped next to Celeste with a hand to her elbow.

“We just need to get Clotho’s permission before heading down to the temple.” She relayed as Azriel stepped forward towards the desk.

“But isn’t it your house?” Celeste asked curiously.

“The library belongs to the priestesses. I have no say in who comes and who goes from here. Only Clotho decides. It’s for their safety.”

She watched as Azriel gave a demure nod to Clotho. His voice carried as a low murmur to her ears, the words indistinguishable. Nesta had given her the history of how the library came to be and the reason why all the priestesses were here.That was part of the reason Celeste had requested to come to this temple instead of one of the others within the streets of Velaris. It felt like the right place to be for what she felt she needed to do. 

Clotho’s answer came from a self writing pen as she slid the slip of paper over the desktop to Azriel. Picking it up to read, that stoic face crumpled for a fraction of a second. Clotho reached out from the sleeves of her robe and placed one gnarled hand on top of a scarred one of his own. With another nod he turned and stepped toward the two of them waiting.

“What did she say?” Celeste said, eyeing the paper still in his hand. 

He didn’t voice an answer. Instead he reached out, handing the note to her as his body slipped into the spot Nesta had slyly vacated. Taking the note in her own fingers she read it. 

She has always been welcome here. As have you.

Our prayers are with you both daily. 

The burning sting of tears hit her eyes immediately. The thoughts she had been holding at bay for the past hours, crashed inside her like a wave. Knowing why the priestesses were secluded her, why she herself had come to find sanctuary here rolled through her as she held back a sob. The flash of her conversation with Cassian appeared like lightning in her mind. 

He’s been through a lot. Like you.

Celeste whipped her head towards Azriel as the thought materialized, his eyes landing on hers briefly before staring down at the floor. Something akin to reverence, something sacred in nature seemed to settle within her before her thoughts ran away with her. The priestesses, Azriel, herself. They had all endured something no one should ever have to endure and yet they all ended up here in the same place. They had all found sanctuary and some form of peace within the bounds of Velaris. The feeling that it had to mean something was nearly overwhelming as the memory of those woods raced through her again. She swore she could almost smell that night again before Nesta broke the moment.

“I’ll show you down before I head back upstairs. Maybe stay for dinner after?”

Celeste just gave a non committal shrug as she smiled weakly and fell into step next to Nesta. It didn't take long before they reached the temple set outside the bounds of the library walls but still deep within the mountain itself. 

“Take as much time as you need.” Nesta said as she led them all down the middle aisle toward the dais. “You’ll have privacy as long as you want it. You know where to find me.” Her last comment directed towards Azriel with a nod as she left them to themselves. 

Celeste took in the simple space as she settled into the end of a short pew in the front row. 

“I’ll wait outside so you can have some privacy.” Azriel’s deep voice, even lowered, echoed in the small space. 

“No. No, it's fine. Really.” Celeste stammered. “I have a feeling we could both use some time here today.”

The small smile, though timid, nearly broke his heart. Casting a glance over her, Azriel noticed the fidgeting motion of her hand in her lap. Slowly, he lowered himself into the pew across the aisle shifting his wings nervously, still close but allowing her distance. If they reached out their arms across the aisle, their hands would have met in the middle. The picture that his mind created caused that godforsaken chasm in his chest to twitch. 

“I just don’t really know what to do here,” she went on, staring at her hand but continuing the motion. “I wanted to come today but the only times I’ve been in a temple before I was alone then too. I’ve never been to a service.”

“I’m sure Clotho would be happy to have you attend one if you’d like,” he offered.

She only nodded before falling silent for a long minute. 

“The only prayer I know is the one I heard at my mother’s funeral. It doesn’t really feel appropriate now,” her voice was soft and low, sending chills over Az’s skin. He pulled harder on the hold of his shadows as they attempted to cross the space between them.

With a shuddering shift of his wings, he whispered. “I’m sure whatever gods are listening won’t mind.”

“Are you religious?” she asked, lifting her head to meet his eye.

“In my own way,” he answered after a beat of measured thought.

Celeste dipped her chin before bringing her face forward scanning the relics of the temple upon the dias before her. None of them had any familiarity to her but they felt sacred all the same. 

“Where I was born, it was the practice to worship many different gods and goddesses. There was a different one for whatever prayer you wanted answered,” she paused briefly in thought. “I’m not sure which one I should be asking. I don’t really know exactly what I’m asking for, you know?”

Azriel stared at the strong outline of her profile against the background of the candles lighting the wall behind her. The slope of her nose, the rise of her cheekbones, the soft way her dark hair curled at her temple. “I’ve only ever worshipped one goddess myself,” he began slowly. “I think a prayer said to one is as good as a prayer said to many.” 

Celeste sat silently for a minute digesting his words before staring at her hands once more. As she dropped her head in assumed prayer, Azriel’s gaze slid to the floor in front of him, taking in the silence. He thought for a moment that maybe he should offer a prayer of his own before suddenly, the soft tones of Celeste’s voice rose. 

Gods above me, grant me serenity

In this the darkest hour of my journey home.

I appeal to you.

Mother maiden, grant me safety 

In your endearing arms that granted me life.

I appeal to you.

Gods on high, guide me to the river

In the slakes of my thirst for life

So that I may drink everlasting from its shores.

Mother holy, appeal for me

On behalf of my weary soul

So that I may find solace in your embrace

Forevermore.

The air around Az felt like it was crackling against his skin as he sat stone still, listening. His focus honed on the words just as much as on how she spoke them. The hitch of her voice that caught as she neared the end nearly stopped his pulse. 

Finishing her prayer, Celeste felt an odd sort of peace settle over her. The task she had come to complete, to find some sort of answer within the web of confusion in her mind, felt closer than it had been since waking from her seizure. The pull of desire that had carried her to this sacred place felt like it was the right choice, the first thing to feel right in this life she couldn’t remember.

“My mother’s funeral was one of the last times Tyrik allowed me outside,” she spoke up after a moment of silence. “Shortly after that he began locking me away.”

Azriel cleared his throat with a pained noise and turned to look at her. He remained quiet, knowing inherently this was something she needed. Her dark eyes met his across the aisle.

“He still allowed me out to go to the temple on his estate. I don’t really know why and it was only ever alone under heavy guard. Maybe he still had some twisted sense of morality. Or maybe he thought through piety would come obedience.” 

Az’s face twisted slowly into a tight pinch and his eyes glistened in the candlelight..

“Mostly I just sat in silence,” Celeste pulled in a shuddering breath as she stared into her lap once more. Her hand had stilled but now her thumb was trapped in her clenched fist. “But eventually I would repeat that prayer over and over, hoping maybe one day it would be answered. That maybe some benevolent god would hear me and grant an end to my misery.”

Azriel of course knew of the horrors that she had endured and the trauma it had caused, but this was the first time she had so clearly voiced her desire for death. He practically jumped from the pew in a bid to release some of the pent up energy building within him.

“Celeste,” he choked out past a sob as he paced and scrubbed a hand down his face, the tears flowing freely now.

“I know I don’t remember any of my life that came after,” she hiccuped on a choked sob of her own. “But I am here. I escaped. So maybe my prayer was answered after all.”

She was free. She had been shown nothing but kindness and comfort since waking up in this strange existence. Although she had often prayed for death thinking it was the only answer, she had been given a different option. 

What a waste it would be to spoil it. She thought.

But such a large part of that option she had been granted involved the male standing across the aisle from her and that still gave her pause.

“I just – I don’t really know what to do with myself in this life. To wake up with no memories of it and everyone around me knows more about myself than I do and then to find out that I have a husband.” Celeste brought her line of sight back to those golden hazel eyes that were still lined with tears. “It’s a lot to take in.”

The urge to comfort her was overbearing, his shadows pulsing outward in a bid to reach her. Instead he just nodded, afraid to make a move toward her in fear of startling her. 

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to behave around anyone. I don’t know how to behave around you.”

Azriel’s brows rose as his eyes widened. “You don’t need to behave a certain way,” his voice came out gravelly.

“I just meant that I don’t know what’s expected of me,” she stated.

“I don’t have expectations of you, Celeste. You don’t have to do anything to please me,” he said as his voice evened out. “You are the one in control here.”

The moment of quiet as she considered his words felt like an eternity.

“If it makes you feel better, I can leave,” Az offered solemnly. “I can come stay here with Cas –”

“Leave?” Celeste’s brows rose now. “Why would you leave?”

“I would do anything you asked me to do.” His stare was focused so intently upon her and a small flicker of some feeling licked at her gut.

His earlier words rang through her head. You are the one in control here. The idea was so foreign in her mind that she couldn’t believe it to be true. The desire to prove him wrong felt like danger but the need to know how far his words carried was stronger. 

“Anything?” 

“Yes.” 

“You would leave if I asked you to?” She asked, testing. 

“Yes.”

Celeste pushed a bit harder. “Even if I told you to never come back?”

Azriel’s face pinched once more as he swallowed. “Even then.”

“If I asked you to kill someone for me, would you do it?”

“Yes.”

Celeste felt herself rock back, the pew meeting her spine, as the bolt of shock shot through her. It wasn’t just his answer that did it but the speed at which he gave it. He hadn’t even hesitated to think about it. 

Noting the creep of fear blooming across her features, Azriel continued. “I also know that is something you would never ask of me without a damn good reason. You have never failed to find the good in everyone.”

Even in me. The thought finished silently in his mind. 

She swallowed hard before speaking again. “But would you still do it, even then? If I asked you to.”

“Yes,” he said in a rasping whisper. “If you asked me to do it then I know it is warranted.” 

Celeste sat there rigidly, shock still evident on her face, as she rolled everything around in her mind like a ball of wet clay she wanted to form. The flicker she felt from before had returned. It was something she couldn’t name and it made her feel strange and unsettled. It wasn’t fear. That would make more sense to her. Fear was familiar to her. Too familiar. This was something altogether different. This felt like – power. It sent a thrill straight to her bones. 

His willingness to commit these acts for her made her feel powerful. The moment however was brief before the doubt started creeping in.

If he would do that for me then what does he expect in return?

Azriel had remained quiet as she sat there. The stillness made his skin itch but he dared not move. His anxiety that he had scared her with his answers ate away at him. The urge to rush into defending himself was overwhelming as the shadows began a slow swarm trying to hide him. 

“Have you ever struck me in anger?” She had to know what the price of this power was. She knew he could lie straight to her face but there was something deep inside her that told her she would know. Something that power had touched and sparked to life. 

Even though the shock of her question lined his face, he didn’t hesitate. “No.”

Her eyes narrowed in a hardened stare. “Surely in a hundred years you’ve been angry at me at some point.”

“I have been frustrated with you, yes,” Azriel declared firmly. “But never truly angry.” 

Her next question followed quickly. “Not even when I disobey you?”

Azriel flinched. He knew why she was asking these questions. She needed certainty. She craved the reassurance that even if she pushed him she would be safe. He understood, but the thought still caused a sickening feeling in his gut.

“I have never required your obedience, Celeste.” His voice was thick with emotion. “You are free to make whatever choices you desire. And I have never once desired to harm you.” The thought of causing her pain, of bruising her body or causing blood to bloom across her skin, made that sickening feeling boil nearly to eruption.

Celeste remained silent but her eyes never left him, monitoring the emotions as they played across his face. He couldn’t read anything behind her stony expression. That wiggle of doubt at their lack of a mating bond made his gut roll with a different kind of sadness this time. If only he could feel her along that nonexistent thread between them, then he would know what to say or do.

She stood there contemplating, staring fixedly into the strikingly beautiful face before her. He had answered every question with words she wanted to hear. No part of her had given her pause to indicate that he was lying to her. But they were still just words. There was nothing tangible before her that showed her he would do everything he said. A thought rose to life in her mind along with a shred of fear. 

What if this is what pushed him too far? 

But she was tired of the fear sapping every ounce of her energy, so before it could take a winding hold, she shoved.

“You would do anything I asked?”

“Yes.”

“So if I asked you to kneel before –”

The hard crack of bone upon the floor cut off her words, the vibration coursing up her legs from under her feet. Azriel had taken one long stride forward before he slammed to the ground, not in the graceful kneel of a gentle male, but in a desperate plea. There before her he stayed perfectly still, eyes searing into her own, hands hanging limply at his sides. She stared back at him in wide eyed wonder, mouth agape. She couldn’t pull forth a single thought but shock. 

“The only goddess I have ever worshipped is you,” his voice broke the silence, the knot of held back tears audible in his voice. His large scarred hand moved deftly to his thigh without breaking his stare. Unsheathing Truth Teller, he laid it across his palms. “And if you asked me to sharpen my own dagger so that you could sacrifice me upon your altar, I would do that too.” He bent slightly, laying the shining dagger at her feet. “I would tear myself apart if I knew that it would bring you peace.”

Her mouth hung open as she continued staring. That thrill from before was now a roaring blaze inside her. Power. Never in her life had she felt powerful in any regard. Everything that she had been through seemed destined to beat her spirit down and defeat her. The inferno this power created stole her breath away. The lack of air started to make her head spin and with a shake she brought herself back to reality.

“Don’t leave,” she managed to eke out. 

Azriel’s head gave a confused shudder in response.

“It’s your home too. Don’t leave. I need to get used to sharing it with you.”

“You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to, Celeste.” Azriel pleaded. “That’s what I’ve been try–”

“I want to,” she burst out. “I want to try.”

Azriel’s posture seemed to sag slightly in relief and his shadows broke their hold, but on his knees he remained. “I don’t know how to behave around you either,’ a soft pleading in his eyes. “I don’t want to frighten you.”

The shadows worked their way up her arms in a winding circuit and Celeste couldn’t help the small sob of a laugh that passed her lips. “Then we will try together.”

Just before they exited the doors of the temple to leave, Celeste couldn’t help but to pause one last time. Turning to look towards the dais once more she threw up one final prayer. It wasn’t elegant or practiced but it was earnest. 

Please, keep me safe. 

@mybestfriendmademe @lilah-asteria @chairofchaos @pit-and-the-pen @prythianpages

@weekendlusting @sarawritestories @ceoofyearning @i-am-infinite @tothestarsandwhateverend

[heyyallitssatan]

Todo fam headcanons

Enji isn’t a dick addition

He didn’t intentionally train any of his to be heroes, he just accepted them as they were

Touya really wanted to be a hero, but when they figured out his quirk didn’t work with his body they had to have a lot of long hard talks, they tried to find a lot of support gear but nothing could completely keep him from burning himself and they didn’t want him to risk his life

He came around to the idea eventually and ended up going to school to become a paramedic

Fuyumi didn’t get parentified and was allowed to explore what she wanted, she ended up loving art and went to an art school before apprenticing under a sculptor and then a tattoo artist, she eventually went back to sculpting and runs her own studio now

Natsuo followed in his big brothers footsteps and went to med school, he’s an er doctor

Shoto loved the skating trips his mom took him on and became a professional/Olympic figure skater and coach

Also, Rei was a snowboarder in this universe because I said so

It should be mentioned, Touya took up rock climbing as a hobby and got really into it

Fuyumi started doing mma as a stress release, she tried to get her siblings into it but it reminded Touya too much of training and the other two never enjoyed fighting

Natsuo feels like he gets plenty of physical activity between the er and his twice weekly workouts, so his hobby is playing video games,

Enji picked up crocheting after rei told him he needed a non stressful hobby to help him relax

Rei I turn felt she also needed a nonstressful hobby, and promptly chose rebuilding old cars because they have more money than god and can certainly afford it

Shoto never really made time for hobbies until fuyumi taught him how to sculpt, now he enjoys making weird little trinkets to give friends and family, and occasionally his competitors

I like to think the show still progresses normally, just with shinsou in 1A instead of shoto

The the reason we find out about the todoroki family is cause bakugou and midoriya both do their internship with Endeavor sanders he gushed about his wife and kids every chance he got

Midoriya thought shoto was the best thing ever and rei tried to set them up

She succeeded and got an adorable little son in law

Fuyumi showed up during bakugous internship with miruko to drop off some food for her wife and he freaked out cause he thinks miruko is so cool and turns out she has a badass wife too, best day ever

Touya meets both of them when he shows up at hawks agency to pick him up for their dinner date, they both lose their shit cause why are so many of them dating heroes

They meet natsuo during his internship/study program with recovery girl

Then they see rei on tv as a pro snowboarder

Now they’re wondering how many todorokis there are cause they just keep showing up everywhere

Then they find out that Touya and fuyumi are both in a heavy metal band, which segways into them finding out all of the todoroki play various instruments, and sports

When they ask how the hell they all know so much and have so many hobbies they just respond that they were homeschooled and rich, this left a lot of time and money to invest in random interests, so they all developed a ton of skills for absolutely no other reason than they got bored

Now Endeavor is number one after allmight retired, and they were competing for that spot beforehand but it was more of a friendly rivalry to encourage them to get better (maybe it started out legit but they both chilled quite a bit as they got older and eventually became friendly, though they kept up the image for the public and because it made them better heroes), but after all might was forced to retire endeavor publicly stated that this wasn’t the way he wanted their rivalry to end, but he would do his best to honour all might memory and carry on his legacy

He also encourages the new number two, his son in law hawks and every other hero to challenge him and make him keep working for his position

Now, this was cleared with hawks beforehand kind of as an announcement of his engagement to Touya, sadly the public misinterpreted that and thought that he was dating his daughter fuyumi, miruko shot that down quick and informed everyone that fuyumi was hers and hawks could fight her for it, all in good fun, and hawks clarified that he appreciates the offer cause fuyumi is great, but he’s very gay and quite in love with her brother

This was great, it was the closest to celebrity drama they’ve ever gotten from the todoroki family and it’s still super wholesome

[a-court-of-valkyries]

Where We Go From There Snippet

NERIS WEEK DAY 5: AU DAY

Hello! For Neris week I decided to do a little snippet for my fic Where We Go From There. This snippet will take place later on in the fic!

Nesta sighed, her back against the wall and her body soaking in the music blaring through the speaker as she watched the party from afar. Gwyn was deep in conversation with Clare Beddor, and Emerie had rushed to the store to get more chips. Feyre and Elain were chatting with Rhysand and his family on the couch. She could’ve engaged in conversation with Balthazar and Lucien, or tried to work on rebuilding her relationship with her sisters, but truthfully, Nesta did not feel like talking with anyone. She wanted to kick everyone out of the loft and go to sleep. She felt guilty at the thought though. She supposed she was in a better place, physically and mentally. She was surrounded by two people who genuinely and truly loved her and had thrown a party for her. She had a great job. Nesta had a lot to be thankful for, but even knowing that didn’t completely erase the gloomy mood she had been in. Seeing Tomas unexpectedly yesterday put her in a spiral, but this feeling was something different, like it had been laying dormant for months and was now shadowing her everywhere she went no matter how much she tried to ignore it.

And Eris had never shown up. Of course, he hadn’t shown up. He didn’t even like her. And I don’t like him, she thought. Nesta was glad he didn’t bother to come. That meant one less person to talk to at least. 

Nesta noticed Gwyn looking around until her eyes finally landed on Nesta. She waved, and Nesta hoped she gave her a convincing smile, one that said she was having a good time. Of course, Gwynn didn’t buy it since she began to make her way over to Nesta. “What’s wrong?” She asked when she finally reached her.

“Nothing! Just taking a little break from all the talking.” Gwyn’s eyebrows pinched in concern. “I’m fine, really,” Nesta reassured her. “Actually, I’ll be right back. I think I just need to get some air.” 

“Okay,” Gwyn mumbled as Nesta walked away. She made her way down the elevator in the hall, stepped outside, and sat on the front steps. She leaned against the railing and closed her eyes, embracing the cold wind on her face as it steadied her. She kept taking deep breaths in and out, hoping that it would stop the sudden rush of tears that wanted to escape. She told Gwyn and Emerie that she wouldn't mind having this party to prove to them and to herself that she was finally doing better, that she was fine, but she felt the exact opposite. She didn’t think she would ever be okay again, and if she, by some miracle, would be happy again, it would be a long time from now.

She was trying so hard to rekindle things with her sisters, and by extension, Rhysand and the rest of their family. But some part of Nesta hated seeing them in her home, indulging in her things after everything that had happened. It brought up all the feelings from when Nesta and Cassian had been together; all those times she felt ostracized, alone, like nothing she did or said was good enough for those people. Not even her sisters or boyfriend at the time felt she was worth enough to stand up for. And then  everything with Tomas. Nesta’s heart sank at the thought. What does it say about me, she thought, when the only love anyone wants to give me is one that hates? Maybe the answer was easy. Maybe Nesta was not a person who was meant to be loved. Emerie had called her brave, yet she felt anything but.

Nesta tried to control her breathing with the counting exercise her therapist had taught her as she felt that familiar course of anxiety run through her veins. She took a deep breath. Five things you can see: cars on the street, a cat walking into an alley across the street, a plane flying, an ‘open’ neon lights sign in a restaurant window, a fire hydrant. Four things you can touch: the  ground, the railing, the flower pot next to the door, her keys.

“You must really be enjoying your party if you’re out here,” a familiar voice said. Nesta's heart picked up, but she ignored it and scowled.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” she said as Eris walked towards her. 

“I like to be fashionably late,” he replied, standing in front of Nesta.

“So late that you almost missed the party?” She feigned disinterest as she watched a cloud of air puff from her mouth. 

“You sound disappointed. What’s wrong, Witchling? Were you beginning to miss me?”

“No,” Nesta said too quickly. Eris smirked knowingly at her, and Nesta hated it. She stared daggers at him. “I didn’t. Shut up.”

There was a glimmer in his eyes as he smirked at her. They lightened up in a way Nesta hadn't noticed before. Amber eyes, warm like honey, bright like she had just stumbled upon buried gold. She quickly dismissed the thought, mumbling about how irritating he was.

Eris rubbed at his arms as he looked around their surroundings. “Why are you out here in the freezing cold?” he asked. “You’ll catch your death.”

“That would make you happy. You’d no longer have me to compete with for surgeries.”

He hummed in agreement. “That would be nice. But I would miss the competition too much.”

Nesta sniffled and eventually answered his question. “I don’t like parties.” 

Eris looked up at the building. “That bad, huh?”

“No,” she said in defense of everything Emerie and Gwyn had done to put this together. Guilt started gnawing at her. She didn't want them to think she wasn't grateful for all of this, but between seeing her sisters and Cassian’s family again, and everything still fresh with Tomas, it felt overwhelming. She supposed seeing two exes in less than 24 hours would do that for anyone. “I just didn't feel like being around a bunch of people right now.”

“Even if I'm the alternative?” 

“Normally I'd say no,” Nesta grumbled, “but I'll make an exception this one time.”

Eris nodded. They settled in silence for a moment, which Nesta found oddly comforting. She closed her eyes. Three things you can hear. A car horn in the distance, crickets chirping somewhere nearby, -

Nesta straightened as Eris took a seat on the step next to her, putting a warm jacket around her to cover her shoulders. “You don't have to do that.” She began to shrug out of it, which only made Eris pull it around her tighter. 

She shook her head. “This feels weird. Take it back.”

He scrunched his eyebrows. “Why?”

“Because it's weird! We fight. We compete. We despise each other. We’re not friendly.”

Eris shrugged casually. “What if I made you a deal?”

Nesta raised an eyebrow, wary of where the conversion was heading. “What kind of deal?”

“What if we were enemies that sometimes. . .” he paused, trying to think of the right word, “tolerated each other. At least for tonight.”

“I’m tolerating you right now.”

“And it’s not so bad, is it?” he asked, bumping her knee with his playfully.

Nesta grumbled and looked ahead. “Jury’s still out.” Eris huffed in laughter, and Nesta fought back a grin. Being here with him was surprisingly nice and if she was honest, it was the most she enjoyed herself tonight. Though she’d never admit that to him.

“Don’t get me wrong, I still hate you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” she said.

“Well as long as we’re on the same page.”

After a few quiet moments, Eris’ voice grew more serious. “How are you? After everything?”

Nesta tensed, ice freezing over the cozy stalemate the both of them had been sharing. The last thing she wanted to think about, let alone talk about was Tomas. Tomas showing up at her job. Tomas screaming at her in front of patients and coworkers. Tomas gripping her arm so hard that bruises formed. Until Eris got involved.

The memory burned her raw. “If that’s what you want to talk about, then feel free to leave,” she glared at him, her voice low in warning like an injured wolf baring its teeth. They'd had some kind of peace offering these last few minutes, but Eris’ words now rebuilt that wall of ice Nesta learned to guard herself with.

“I don’t mean any offense, Nesta. I just wanted to make sure-”

“That’s not your concern. Worry about yourself,” Nesta spat as she got up. She'd thrown open the door to her building when Eris spoke again.

“I was six when I first saw my father hit my mother.”

Nesta froze before she could retreat inside. The air stilled around them. 

Eris paused for a moment before continuing. Cleared his throat. Swallowed. “She accidentally dropped a wine glass near him when trying to clean the table off one night after dinner. It happened so fast I thought I imagined it for a second. But she was on the floor, and she seemed frozen there. I started to run to her to make sure she was okay, but my father gave me a look. It was full of ire. ” Nesta stood still, watching him. Eris clenched his jaw at the memory. His eyes seemed far away, lost in that horrid memory. She knew all too well what that was like. “My mother got up on her knees after that. She gave me a warm smile, trying to comfort me the only way she could. The bruise was already forming around her eye. She just cleaned up the broken glass, and went about putting the dishes away like nothing happened.”

Eris fidgeted where he sat. Nesta hesitated before sitting down next to him again.

“I was so happy when he died. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in my life.” 

“How is she now? Your mom?”

Eris nodded to himself. “She’s good. Better. I moved her into my apartment so she wouldn’t have to worry about being alone. At least this way I can take care of her.” He chuckled as he fiddled with his hands. “She says I worry too much.”

“That’s nice of you to do,” Nesta said. “You’re a good son, Eris.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m not. I left her alone to deal with him all these years. Being there for her now is the least I can do.” Nesta didn’t know what to say to that, or how to comfort him even though she found herself wanting to. Her heart went out to him and his mother. She'd never heard much of the matriarch of the Vanserra family when Beron Vanserra was still alive and owned the hospital both Nesta and Eris worked at. She'd attend whatever events necessary, but her presence always seemed to fade away into the background while her husband was the center of attention. Nesta couldn't imagine having a life like that, being stuck with someone like that. Chills erupted on her arms when she thought of how close she'd been to a future like that. 

“Why are you telling me this?” she asked, almost in a whisper, like if she spoke louder, it would reveal their terrible and painful secrets to the world. 

He shrugged. “I know something personal about you. Now you know something personal about me.” 

For the first time since everything had gone wrong, a small part of Nesta felt like she wasn’t alone. Like she’d glimpsed a crack of light in spite of how a certain hollowness can emerge from the foundations of a situation like that. Eris Vanserra was the last person she expected to understand the shattered pieces of what remained of her. Yet he understood in ways no one else had, like a kindred pain.

Nesta’s thoughts were interrupted by the feel of something dropping in her lap. She looked down and found a wrapped present in its place. 

“You got me a gift?”

“Of course I did. I’m not cheap.” Nesta noticed his eyes shift uncomfortably when Eris looked down at the gift. “You don’t have to open it now.”

That only made Nesta more curious and eager. She delicately unfolded the gift wrap, making sure not to tear any of the paper. A small gasp escaped her when the gift was revealed.

In her arms was a copy of A Tale For the Stars to Remember. It was a love story between a human woman and a Fae Prince. Not only was this the first book ever written by Sellyn Drake, but it was one Nesta had practically memorized every page of as she read it over the years. She flipped through those familiar pages now, took in her favorite words. And this copy was signed! The inscription on the title page of the book included a message. A personalized message. For her. Sellyn Drakes knows who I am, Nesta thought with glee. Sellyn Drake touched this book. The message wished Nesta a happy birthday, and thanked her for her continued support in reading his novels. It is because of your dedication as a fan that I am where I am today, and I am honored to give you the first edition of this cherished story, it read before Sellyn Drake signed his name.

Nesta’s eyes widened at that. “The first edition? This is the first edition?” she asked in disbelief.

“I, um, know the author personally.” Nesta's eyes widened even more.

“What? H-how? How did you even know this was my favorite book?” Nesta asked incredulously. She closed her mouth when she realized it was hanging open.

“You, Emerie, and Gwyn talk about it all the time at the hospital.” Eris stated.

“You eavesdrop on our conversations?” Nesta glared at him, the revelation bursting her bubble momentarily. 

“You’re all very loud.” Eris glared right back. “It makes it difficult to get work done when the three of you are squealing over fictional characters.”

“You could’ve given this to me on Monday.” 

“I know,” was all he said.

Nesta broke into a grin as she delicately flipped through the pages again. 

“Thank you, Eris,” she said, looking back up at him. 

“You’re Welcome, Nesta.”

Something softened in Eris’ face as he looked at her. They had been staring at each other for only a moment but it felt much longer, and each second caused Nesta’s heart to speed up more and more. She begged her racing heart to calm down. She was sure he could hear it. A faint blush colored his cheeks. His eyes dropped to her lips, lingering there for a few seconds, and then looked back up at her. “Happy birthday, Nesta,” he whispered before getting up and leaving. It was only when he was gone that Nesta felt she was able to breathe normally again.

@nerisweek

[lilacliquors]

pairing: smoke x reader

word count: 1005

notes: on the eleventh day of ficmas, lilacliquors gave to me ... visiting smoke's home country for christmas! (there's a tiny bit of angst but not in the way you think besties!)

tomas had always been such a hard worker, not one for taking too many breaks. but this year for the holidays, you had worked something out with kuai liang, and you were going to force your husband to rest this holiday season. it had taken some careful planning, but you had managed to set up a week long trip back to the czech republic, tomas’s home country. he had expressed a desire to go back, so this year, you would be spending christmas in prague.

it didn’t take much convincing to get him to go. in fact, this might have been the first time he’d ever been excited about taking a break. and after many ‘thank yous’ and appreciative kisses, he was finally ready to pack and go on this trip. you had never seen him so excited, except on your wedding day, and it warmed your heart to see the appreciation for your efforts. he was always eager to tell you and show you how much you meant to him, but something about this felt different. it was like … he had another purpose for going, not just to celebrate the holidays.

when you arrived, it was christmas eve, and you checked into the home you had been able to rent out. it had been decorated for your stay, and it felt like a cozy little place. the lights glowed faintly, adding a warmth to the main room, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“this is amazing,” tomas breathed, looking around. “you outdid yourself this year, truly.”

“you’ve earned a little vacation, you know,” you said, wrapping your arms around his middle. “you work so damn hard, it’s a wonder you don’t collapse most days.”

“rebuilding a clan takes time. but if it makes you feel better, kauai liang and i have agreed to try and split the duties a bit more evenly now. i no longer feel the need to prove myself … he and i are brothers, and always will be,” he said, and you smiled at him.

“mhm, that does make me feel better. now, what would you like to do on this beautiful christmas eve?” you asked, and he looked to the window in thought. snow had begun to drift down, sticking to the ground little bit by little bit. you watched his face, and then he turned back to look at you, tilting his head slightly.

“i’d like to go for a walk. you look so beautiful with snow in your hair, i’d hate to pass this opportunity up,” he said.

you felt your cheeks warm, but you obliged, dressing in warmer clothes and allowing him to take the lead. it had been a long time since he’d been in prague, but it was like it never left him. he took your hand in his and began down the road, making sure to keep you close so you could stay warm.

“it’s so beautiful out,” you said softly, brushing a bit of snow from your hair.

“mhm, it is,” he replied, squeezing your hand.

you looked around at the buildings, admiring the architecture, and the way the snow dusted the rooftops. a few of the buildings reminded you of castles, and your eyes widened as you got closer. this was becoming just as much of a treat for you as it was a gift for him, and you couldn’t believe you finally got to see such a beautiful city.

“this is just so amazing,” you said, letting go of his hand to turn in a small circle, taking in the sights.

“i’m glad you think so. but … before we head back, there’s something else i’d like to do. an old czech tradition,” tomas said, reaching for your hand again. you obliged and took it, allowing him to lead you a bit farther from the city. the snow falling around you seemed to muffle the sounds of the world, yet the silence was comforting as you walked. you wanted to ask where he was taking you, but the look on his face was one of solemn determination. so, you kept quiet, and soon, you reached the gates of a cemetery. you were puzzled for a moment, but you followed him in, walking next to him in silence. he kept leading you until he stopped at three headstones, two larger ones with a smaller one in the middle. he let go of your hand and crouched down, brushing the snow from the stones with a gentle hand. you leaned in a bit to read them, and a soft breath escaped you.

these were the graves of his parents and sister. 

you set a hand on his shoulder as he bowed his head, and he brought one hand up to hold yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. you were both quiet for a few moments longer, and then he stood, wrapped his arm around your shoulders, and led you from the cemetery and back to the main roads.

“thank you for this,” he said as you walked back to the rented home. “I’ve been hoping to pay my respects soon, but i never had the time to get away. this … this means more than you could ever know.”

“you’re welcome, tomas,” you replied, rubbing his back gently. “i just wish we could have gotten you here sooner.”

“i prefer this more. it’s actually czech tradition to visit the graves of loved ones, to remember them during this time. it’s bittersweet, it reminds us that life is short, but it also reminds us to cherish the time we have with our living loved ones. and there’s no one i’d rather spend my holidays with than you,” he said, pressing a kiss to your temple. 

you smiled and let your head rest on his shoulder as you walked, and you tilted your head up to feel the snow on your face.

“i love you very much,” you said softly, and he smiled down at you.

“i love you, too. so very much.”

[specialagentlokitty]

Negan x reader - people can change

Part 11:

They searched for nearly a week, but there wasn’t any sign of where you had gone.

If you were injured you wouldn’t have gotten very far, and they were now just checking the same spots over and over again.

Negan returned to Lakeshore defeated, and he walked to your cabin, sitting down on the floor as he set your mask down.

He wasn’t expecting to come this close to you, but he had grown used to you being there, and the thought of being able to have dinner with you, almost like a date from the old days had made him happy.

Now, just like everything he had, that all turned to shit.

He sighed, leaning against the wall, looking at the door as it was opened.

“Sorry Negan, I’m just looking for some more papers.” Luke said.

Negan shook his head.

“It’s fine.”

Luke crouched down, going through a box, and he stopped to look at Negan.

“We’re gonna find her. Okay?”

“Let’s keep shit real, it’s been a week. There’s no sign or anything of (Y/N).”

Luke smiled a little.

“You got her name huh? How long did it take you?”

“A few months.”

“Yeah, took me a year, she hated me when we first met. Said I was a stubborn prick.”

“You are, I’ve met you.”

Luke chuckled a little, turning his attention back to the boxes.

“Why not come with me to Alexandria? A few of us are going tomorrow with some supplies, Daryl has been trekking further than us with his bike, might have a lead.”

“What if she comes back here?”

“We’ll know straight away.”

Negan looked around your cabin.

Maybe that’s what he needed to do, just get away for a little while, figure out the next move to finding you.

He didn’t want to stray too far in case you returned and he couldn’t find out, and there was daily communication between here and Alexandria so he would know if you came back.

He knew you would want him to help them rebuild too, hell, you would be helping them rebuild.

“I don’t know man, I just.. I should be out there.”

“I know, but you’ve been out there for a week straight. You need a break.”

Luke set some papers aside, and he picked up a letter, walking over he crouched in front of Negan, holding it out and he took it.

It had his name on, so he opened it.

‘If I should fail to return, I’ll go to Alexandria if I can. It’s the closest. Go there, help rebuild until I come back. Please Negan, show them you’ve changed.’

He chuckled weakly, handing it over to Luke.

“Guess I’m going with you.”

So he did, he went to Alexandria, and he checked all over for you but you weren’t there, so, he did as you asked.

He helped them begin to rebuild what they had lost while he waited for you to come back, and slowly the days began to slip by here as well.

He took his old cell as his home, feeling it was the most fitting place for him to be.

He spent his days working hard, talking to Luke or Cole, or any of the scouts for your whereabouts.

He kept his cloak in his cell but kept your mask and sword on him, ready to return them when you returned.

One of the scouts came jogging in and he looked over.

“What is it?” Negan called.

“Walkers, nearby.”

Negan nodded, grabbing his work knife, pulling it out as he jogged out of the gate, heading with Carol and Gabriel to deal with the walkers.

It was easy work for the three of them, and like always Negan rolled them over to look at their faces.

“That’s a good thing right? That she isn’t there?” Gabriel asked.

“At this point I feel like it would be easier to just know if she’s one of them or not.” Negan grumbled.

He stood up, wiping the blade on his shirt and put it back, looking around.

“She’ll turn up, even you couldn’t kill her, I doubt a few walkers can.” Carol said.

Negan glanced at her but didn’t say anything.

It was strange for them, seeing how panicked he was about not being able to find you, seeing how worried he was about you.

In a way it relieved them to know that Negan cared bout somebody else, that he worried or somebody else, it showed them that he had changed.

He made his way back to where he was working, but he wasn’t able to work long, because when he saw people looking to the hole in the fence he came out to look as well.

It wasn’t you, but he dreaded the face that walked through, and he stared at her before turning to Daryl and the scouts that was with him.

“We picked up some tracks, movin’ this way. More have gone to check the area, if it’s her then she’s trynna stay hidden.” Daryl said.

Cole nodded his head, looking over to Negan as well who nodded, and Maggie looked at him, the sword he was wearing.

“No. Not a fucking chance take that off.”

She pulled out her gun, aiming it at him, and he raised his hands.

“Woah, let’s take a fucking minute here shall we? I haven’t done shit!”

“Y’all just letting him walking around free, with a fucking sword no less?!” She snapped.

Cole and a few scouts stood in front of Negan, hands clasped behind their backs.

“He’s done nothing wrong, as it stands by us Negan is a free man.” Cole said.

“Yeah? And who the fuck are you? Because your people didn’t say shit to me when we were coming back.”

Cole clenched his jaw a little.

“Allies, we made a deal with the communities during the whisperer war. We still hold that deal. And they are not my people, I don’t lead them.”

“Then who the fuck does, because I’d like to speak to whoever thinks they can give a monster like that a weapon.” She sneered.

You stood watching the scene in front of you, slowly lowering yourself to sit down on a fallen metal beam.

“I do, and I suggest you stop pointing your weapon at my people, there are far more than us then there are of you.” You said.

Everybody turned around to face you, me you offered a half wave at them all, pushing yourself back up, limping forward.

The scouts behind you had their hands on their weapons, ready to draw them at your command.

“You gave him a weapon, seriously? Do you know who the fuck that is?”

“I know. And Negan stands part of Lakeshore, which makes him one of my own, a threat to him is a threat to us all.”

You raised your hand, more scouts came out of their hiding places, ready to strike if needed.

Negan pushed past Cole, and he made his way over to you, immediately wrapping his arms around you.

The scouts covered him so Maggie didn’t have a clear line of sight on him.

He placed a hand on the back of your head, another on the lower part of your back, his forehead resting on your shoulder.

“Fucking hell (Y/N)…” he whispered.

You wrapped your arms around him, clutching at his shirt and your knees gave way, and he caught you.

“Easy, easy…” he whispered, “I’ve got you.”

Negan swept you into his arms, taking you over to where he was working and he sat you down in order to get you out of the sun.

He pulled away, looking at your leg, your cloak was covered in blood and smelled horrible, the fabric you tied around your thigh was soaked as well.

“I’d say not as bad as it looks but it.. it’s bad..”

“Here, let me take a look.” Carol said.

You shuffled forward, straightening your leg with a small grunt of pain and she cut your trouser leg, getting a better view of the wound.

It was covered with a bandage that was clearly old.

“Cole do you have anything for this? Did you guys bring any medical stuff?”

“Yeah, yeah Luke brought some with him the other day.”

He jogged away and you placed your hand on Carols shoulder, gesturing for her to move aside and she did.

Maggie was staring at you, her gun lowered this time.

Negan was crouched behind you, his hands on your shoulders, looking at her.

“We are allies to the hilltop, but if you hurt him, if you even lay a finger on him, that deal with your people becomes void, you become enemies of us. Will will attack.”

“How the hell can you trust a monster like him?”

You reached up, placing a hand on Negans, wrapping your fingers around his hand.

“He has earned our trust, he’s worked with us, walked among us, lived with us, he’s never once been a threat. He wants to redeem his ways, and if you don’t want to give him that chance then fine. But what we decide to do with him is none of your concern.”

“You defend him so well, but I bet you don’t know what he’s done. Did he tell you?”

“He didn’t have to. We already knew his story when he came to us, we know he killed your people, your husband, we know he was taking from others, and what he was doing. He tried the same on us and learned his lesson, but when he came to us, it was for us to help him, and that’s what we did.”

You shifted a little, and pushed yourself up despite Negan and Maggie trying to keep you sat down, and you took a few steps closer.

“We have all done things we’re not proud of to survive. We’ve all got blood on our hands. I understand why you’re angry, truly, I do. But you have to accept that he’s a free man now, he is part of Lakeshore, and I protect my people. That means Negan.”

“You can’t protect him forever.”

You shrugged a little.

“Maybe not. But I can protect him until I’m dead, then whoever takes my place will protect him too. That’s the way the world works. He’s found his place with us, and if you make any move to kill him I will find you, and I will kill you myself.”

She clenched her jaw, lowering her gun a little further.

“I don’t want to make the hilltop enemies of Lakeshore. I want to help you rebuild, like we’re doing here. I made a deal with Tara, and in her memory I’d like to keep that deal, so all I’m asking is please don’t make me go back on that now.”

“Maggie.” Daryl whispered.

She looked at him and he nodded his head, so she put her weapon back on her back, and she stormed away.

You sighed in relief, and you limped back to sitting down.

Negan walked over, crouching in front of you.

“You’re a fucking nightmare.”

“Wow, okay. That’s a great way to greet a woman Negan.”

He chuckled a little, lowering his head and he looked up at you with a smile.

He reached up to the mask and you shook your head, so he stopped.

“Not here..” you whispered.

“Alright.. come here…”

Sat next to you, wrapping your arm around his shoulder and he looked at you.

“Ready?”

You nodded and he stood up with you, going at your pace as the pair of you walked through the ruined streets of Alexandria.

You were taking deep breaths through your pain, and he tried to find somewhere to take you, he saw the camp your scouts had set up, then remembered his cell.

That would be the safest place for now, so he took you there, sitting you down on the cot.

Before he could do anything else someone came in to patch your leg up for you and hand you some clean trousers to wear.

He turned around while you changed, and he helped you take your cloak off.

“Hold on, I have a clean shirt in my bag.”

Negan dug through his things until he found one and he tossed it over, turning around again so you could change.

You were still wearing the mask, and he walked over, kneeling down in front of you, reaching up this time, looking at you for permission and you nodded.

Carefully he removed it, grabbing the cloth and bucket so he could clean the dirt on your face.

He moved to your arms, staring on your left arm before moving to your right arm, taking the time to look at the scars that went just below your elbow.

“You hurt anywhere else?”

“No, no just my leg.”

“Good.”

He set the cloth aside, and he held your hand in his.

“What the fuck were you thinking (Y/N)?”

“Something had to be done Negan, I had already planned this that day Luke confronted me.”

“You didn’t think to tell anybody? Get somebody with you?”

You sighed.

“No, because I didn’t want anybody else getting hurt because of what I was going to do. I’m sorry Negan, but I would do it again if I had to.”

He looked down, resting your hand on his forehead.

“You really are a fucking nightmare, shit, what the fuck are we gonna do with you huh?”

He looked up at you and you smiled softly at him, and he chuckled, shaking his head.

“Here, these belong to you.”

He went to hand you your sword and mask back but you stopped him, placing your hand over his.

“They’re yours. But I did promise to return this.”

You held up his knife and he chuckled.

“All this time and you kept that fucker?”

“A promise is a promise.”

“Yeah. Yeah it is. Keep it for me.”

You set it aside, resting your forehead on his.

He smiled, ghosting a kiss to your knuckles, then let go, placing a hand on the left side of your face, leaning up to kiss you.

You wrapped your arms around your neck, and he placed his other hand on you back, leaning in as much as he could without hurting you or putting pressure on your wound.

You pulled away, and he looked a little disappointed, but he moved back, resting his arms on your knees, gazing up at you.

You pointed to the window, then to the stairs and he nodded his head.

He stood up, sitting next to you, and Maggie came through the cell door, glaring at him before she looked at you.

“We need to talk.” Maggie said.

[stardustdiiving]

How evil is arlecchino and what is she cooking

As of 4.2, I’m really curious what they’re planning with Arlecchino as a character, especially as a villain/antagonist/morally dubious character, and how far/which direction they may go with that

Intuitively my impression is we’ll see her do something way more “villainous” than she presents herself as being for majority of Fontaine’s AQ in front of us right—(which isn’t a surprise given that, you know, Arlecchino nor the House of Hearth have never been presented as 110% ethical LOL) but I find myself not being in complete agreement with most analysis or speculation threads I see about Arlecchino’s morality and the like, level of sinister people seem to ascribe to her.

Idk how to put it, especially in regards to her children I do agree they are not a wholesome found family, that Arlecchino is not above pulling strings or using them for her own ulterior motives, but I kind of hesitate on the idea she only cares about the Hearth children as a means to the end/things she can control and there’s nothing else going on with her characterization wise there. I’m not saying that impression seems remotely unreasonable or unfounded, but just that it feels there’s something intentionally missing in how we are supposed to conceptualize her as a person

My main reasoning for this hunch is the fact they have not elaborated on Arlecchino and the previous Knave—who Arlecchino is stated to have taken over the position from by force. The extra tidbits I think about are that 1) Arlecchino was previously an orphan in the Hearth 2) the previous Knave is described as way, way crueler to the children of than Heart than Arlecchino was from when she took control of the House

Often, people’s major indicators that the House of the Hearth is kind of super fucked up are the NPCs we meet in world quests who are part of it and clearly suffering. But one thing I haven’t ever seen people mention w this that i think is a very interesting detail is, in The Very Special Fortune Slip Inazuma worldquest, where we stop this House of Hearth guy (Efim Snezhevich) from manufacturing tension between Watasumi/the Shogunate to restart the war with his other Hearth subordinates, at the end of the quest we get this dialogue that reveals he had been acting under the previous Knave’s directives:

It’s also mentioned he’s employing this plan in an attempt to “rebuild the prestige of the Knave” following Signora’s death, iirc? Now, see, the dialogue itself says that this is “assuming our captive is telling the truth” so who knows what’s really going on, but I find this a really odd/interesting thing to highlight. I’m a bit fuzzy on other world quests with Hearth members, and am not saying none of them were acting and subsequently being treated poorly by our Arlecchino, but like, this gives me a lot of questions especially when paired with implications this previous Knave seemed to be way worse

Like, what drove Arlecchino to take over? How unexpected and controversial was this within the House? Assuming the above information is all true it definitely says something this guy went rogue and acted on what the previous Knave would want and didn’t think our Arlecchino would greenlight it, which does feel consistent with the previous Knave being described as basically worse & crueler than our Arlecchino. It also makes me question how much house of hearth things we’ve seen outside the main story are the work of our Arlecchino or if there’s a bigger divide of loyalty. Heck, I could be wrong but it doesn’t even seem like we know if the previous Knave is dead or not

This isn’t me saying Arlecchino couldn’t possibly be treating hearth children worse than she wants us to know, especially ones who aren’t her “favorites” the way the fontaine trio seem to be, but I really don’t feel sure about making a solid conclusion of her exact level of malice the way ppl r generally understanding it rn when it feels there’s going to be more about her. Just the idea of she, as a Hearth child, clashed with the previous leader who was known for being cruel, overtook their position and took on less harsh methods of leading that made at least some members with more power/possible closer proximity to the previous Knave go rogue and try to commit atrocities in the previous Knave’s name…I feel this leaves a lot of room to suggest there’s more going on with how Arlecchino is as a person

I don’t mind if she’s just very evil and deceptive bc if she totally had me fall for thinking she was less evil than she actually was that’s fun tbh. But I feel people suggest that’s all her character could be with no degree of like, “sympatheticness” or deep grey morality and that if her character did go there it would be automatically poor writing and genshin walking back on making a truly evil woman when IDK. I feel you can claim at this point they have left it open ended and it’s never been completely confirmed she’s pure evil. Also sometimes I just get a hunch and feel cautiously confident in Genshin executing certain characters well. Not all characters, just certain ones. Especially given Fontaine’s character writing being very good and a character like Lyney feeling very solid to me when any development with Arlecchino would likely involve him and his siblings as well, I honestly feel open to the idea of Arlecchino being satisfyingly written to be both villainous/morally dubious but “sympathetic/likable as a person” in ways outside of just her ruthlessness if that makes sense

If I’m wrong/they drop the ball with it more than I anticipate I’ll eat my hat but I am pretty excited about her character and which way they decide to go with it. I will say the only potential impression I have of where they’ll go with her has been wondering if it will go in a “cycles of abuse” direction—I’d be surprised if they ever elaborated on Arlecchino’s character especially in how she feels about things and her also growing up as an exploited child of the hearth wasn’t relevant

[the-strength-of-the-wolffe]

Finally! I get to share my headcanons about this loveable piece-of-work, my boy Sinker.

Like Boost, he didn't choose his name; their batchmates came up with it because of his pessimism, a quirk that stress exacerbated (more on that below).

He was a reluctant “older” brother—not naturally responsible or nurturing but arbitrarily chosen to be in charge of his batchmates by their superiors. Although it felt unfair at the time, it’s the reason he’s a sergeant at the start of the war.

One of their trainers didn't get on with him (personality clash) and took every opportunity to beat him down. He put on a front of insolent indifference, but the harsh words (on top of Kaminoan indoctrination) eroded his spirit, leading him to develop that famously bleak estimation of himself and all clones.

For an engineered soldier, stress had an unusually adverse effect on him. It didn’t just sway his mood; by young adulthood, his hair started to thin and show gray roots. He couldn't stomach shaving it off, nor admit his shame by dyeing it black, so his solution was to dye it entirely gray and pretend to own it.

Needless to say, he isn’t in the healthiest frame of mind as we meet him in “Rising Malevolence.” He has a callousness about him that strikes me as a defense mechanism. Sadly, he doesn't take General Plo's words to heart that day. In fact, he isn't sure what to make of the General for some time.

If he had met Wolffe under any other circumstances, they wouldn't have become friends; they're too different, and Sinker is nothing if not realistic. Suffering the massacre together, and later rebuilding the 104th, bonds them like nothing else could. Even though rank and duties often keep them apart now, they hold fast to that bond.

He tries to move past the loss of his old squad by falling back on cadethood excuses ("I didn't want this job!") and cold memorized truths ("that's the reality of war"), but the horror and guilt get to him on occasion. For a while, he's at turns distant and aggressively protective toward his new squad.

He takes an immediate disliking to Comet, regarding him as a liability at best and a threat to the squad's safety at worst. Truthfully, he sees a bit of himself in the rookie (that defensive apathy), and he hates it. The tension between them erupts one day into physical violence, which he immaturely instigates. The brawl puts a bad mark on his record (and is my explanation for why he doesn't seem to climb any higher in rank). However, by coming to blows, the two of them are able to confront their issues with each other. Gradually, they work toward a more amiable relationship.

His personal beliefs and his mixed feelings about General Plo come to a head during a dangerous search-and-rescue operation. When half his squad (including Boost) become trapped in a damaged building, he fully expects he'll have to leave them to prioritize civilians, a prospect he suddenly finds chilling. To his shock, Wolffe and the General converge at once, the former taking over evacuations while the latter goes after the troopers. In the end, not a single one is lost.

Because of this harrowing event, he realizes first how much he cares about his men, what their lives are worth to him (not expendable!), and second that he's not alone in feeling that way—General Plo meant what he said. He still has some qualms about the General (e.g. the health considerations are a source of stress), but his love language is acts of service, and the General's tremendous act of saving his squad wins him over.

From this point onward, he's able to shoulder his responsibilities with less fear, and that confidence does wonders for him. He really evolves as a character—just look at how different he is in "Mercy Mission"! (I've got a separate post about this in the works: contrasting his arc with Wolffe's.) He doesn't lose all of his rough edges, of course (he can still get nasty when stressed, and be rather angsty at times), but overall he rounds out to be a tough, conscientious, steadfast individual.

His sense of humor, however, does not improve.

[peachycrisis]

Human Again

Chapter 6

—————

Angel and Alastor talk, and Alastor Opens Up.

Angel makes a discovery.

—————

Alastor looked around his new radio tower. It had the same spark and feel as his older one, but seemed to be a lot more modernized. Gold accents littered the walls, red vines hung from the ceiling. On the far right side of the studio was a huge console, perfect for broadcasting his radio shows, and on the far left was a comfy couch stained blood red, modernized but also still retro, just the way Alastor liked it. Alastor stood and took in everything he was seeing. Even though they didn’t know that he was alive, they still took the time to rebuild his precious tower.

Even though he could have been dead, they still made it for him regardless.

Why?

“Hey, smiles..?” Angel asked, tapping on the man’s shoulder. “You okay? You’ve been kind of.. standing there for a hot moment.”

Alastor sighed, then smiled, wiping the now dried tears off of his cheek. The walk to the tower had been relatively silent, besides the occasional sniffles and hiccups from the former deer man. Alastor ran his hand through his curly locks and turned his head to face the spider, who was directly next to him.

“Why?”

Angel paused.

“What do you mean Al?”

“Why did you do this?” Alastor asked softly, he turned away from Angel and looked down at the ground, his hands started fidgeting.

His hands hadn’t done that in nearly 90 years.

“I mean, I could of been dead… I should have been dead- I… I…” the man stuttered, he dropped the smile once more as he began to scratch his arms in attempt to ground himself- to gain control once more. “You guys didn’t know that I was alive, and you still rebuilt this for me… why?”

Angels breath hitched at the vulnerability that was radiating from the former demon, no one knows what truly happened to him- but one thing is for sure, his stubborn ass has suddenly become capable of ‘human emotions.’

or as close to human emotions as a psychopath could have.

“Huh,” Angel softly chuckled, “seems like the stick has finally shot out your ass, huh smiles?”

Alastor shot him a glance, tears in his eyes.

“You know I don’t understand your… millennial, gen.. f y z- whatever it is terminology, Angel Dust.”

“Al, we lived around the same time, I died like 10 years after you-“ Angel looked down to see the man’s hands scraping away at the skin on his already scared forearms- each scratch leaving a new red mark on his tanned skin.

How did he get those scars? He has always been covered up, showing even the slightest amount of skin is seen as scandalous on him.

But that isn’t important, the important thing right now is comforting his… friend…?

Angel moved to stand in front of Alastor, and softly grazed his hand on top of the others. The man’s hands were warm and clammy- yet soft and strong. He grabbed the man’s hand, preventing it from doing any more damage to his forearm, and squeezed it tight, he could feel the man’s hands shake in his grip, so he began to attempt to soothe him by running his thumb up and down across the soft skin of his outer hand. This seemed to work well enough, as he was able to see the man in front of him begin to relax.

God, he looks actually… really adorable…? Angel thought to himself as he used his other hand to grab Alastors other hand, holding them in front of him, between the two men. He squeezed both of the man’s hands.

“I know you’re scared Smiles, and that is okay. If any of us were in your situation, we would be scared too.” His glance moved from the hands that separated the two, to the man in front of him- making eye contact with Alastors brown eyes.

“And we rebuilt your tower because we care about you, and we wanted to you have something familiar to come back to when you came back to the hotel, whether that had to take weeks, months, or even years. We did it not because we felt bad, but because we care about you. We want you to feel comfortable and we all knew deep down that even if you didn’t show it, or even think about it directly- we knew, and I think you know too, that you do deeply care about this hotel, whether you believe in Charlie’s dream of redeeming sinners or not. We know deep down you wouldn’t give up on us, so we will never give up on you- whether your the radio demon, or your true self.”

Angel moved his left hand from Alastors, and placed it on his chest.

“And I believe that this experience has allowed you to finally figure out who you are again, rather than the image of what you want people to think you are.”

Alastor stared at Angel, mouth wide open and glistening with tears, he looked away from the spider.

“My mother always used to tell me “We just gotta think good thoughts and hope that everything passes. A smile is a valuable tool, it assures that through anything that comes our way- we will always be the ones in control,” My mother was my best friend. You know, people like me weren’t treated very well during my time of living, dear. It was really her and me against the world.”

Alastor sighed, and used his newly free hand to wipe some stray tears that had escaped.

“When she died, I promised her that I would never let me feel inferior ever again. And that’s exactly what happened, in life- and in death. I became a smiling psychopath in life, just like many of the people that were brought down here, but down here I had become a monster, and there’s no redeeming that.”

Alastor sadly chuckled, as Angel listened, watching his face as he opened up. He was nearly unrecognizable.

“Even though I don’t want to admit it, occasionally I do think about what she would think of me… heh, she would probably think I was a monster, which is reasonable. She would probably be pissed off at the fact that I have used the radio accent for nearly 90 years.”

“Radio accent?” Angel asked, was the transatlantic accent not his actually accent? What?

“Yes, this is not my original accent- I have just spoke long enough with this one that I had practically forgotten how to speak in my natural voice. I grew up in a Creole family in Louisiana, which is surprising considering how I looked as a demon. I tried so hard to… as kids these days would say, “white wash” myself in order to fit in more with the people around us, which I seemed to be eternally cursed with once I got to hell… the white wash, the smile, the accent, the works.” Alastor chuckled, running his hands, once again through his curly locks.

“Being back in this body brings back some… conflicting feelings, especially when it comes to my life and death. It feels like reverse puberty.” Alastor sighed, finally escaping the grip of Angel Dust- finding the nearest chair to him- which happened to be the blood red couch, and practically fell into it.

Angel watched as the man’s hair bounced with the movement with his head, how his smile began to slightly resurface- showcasing his pink lips. He watched as the man’s eyes fluttered closed as he sighed, finally relaxing after a while. He took note of the man’s shirt, half undone- and his sleeves rolled up half wa-

Oh no.

No. No. No.

Angel can’t.

Or maybe, just possibly he has changed enough.

[chillwildwave]

HELLO THERE LOVE I HAVE TWK ASKS

Apologies if you’ve answered these prior!

I. Where did you get the name Antares?

II. How many songs from the canon movie are you keeping in?

III. How are you planning to show the songs? (Ie, writing, animatics, etc.)

IV. Are you doing any lyric changes?

V. Do you have voice actors decided yet?

VI. Where did you get Leo, Gillia, and Dextrous’s names?

VII. How old was Asha when Mag and Amaya took her under their wing?

VIII. Will we ever see TWK!Asha in a purple dress like her canon counterpart?

IX. What happened to Asha’s mom?

X. Why are wishing stars only allowed to help grant two wishes?

Feel free to skip or ignore any of these if it’s spoiler territory! <3

1. I got the name Antares when I was searching names that mean “star” because I didn’t want to name the star boy, Aster.

2. I’m only going to be keeping “This Wish” and “At All Costs” and “Knowing What I Know Now” so I’m keeping three from the canon, and I’ll be replacing “I’m a Star” with Antares’ song, “Down There”, as well as “This Is The Thanks I Get?!” with the villain duo song “Our Command”.

3. I’m going to start of with writing the story and then I’m going to be working on the animatics/animations afterwards, for the musical numbers, I’m going to start composing some of the numbers on BandLab and then I don’t know about singing them, we’ll see.

4. Not yet unfortunetely, but I’m open to any suggestions!

5. Their names were used while I was researching names that meant their fitting personality which makes it a bit more interesting.

6. She was only 6 when her father died on the wishing tree, so she was taken at the age of 7.

7. You will see her in a purple dress towards the ending or even on the middle, what I could do is to try and create a wardrobe for her in her outfits that she’ll wear throughout the rewrite.

8. She unfortunately gave up Asha after her father’s death when she realised that his nature was the purpose as to why she felt alive, she also felt like that she wasn’t good enough to be a single parent just yet and wishes to do better, the rest is spoilers so I won’t summarise.

9. Wishing stars are only allowed to grant 2 wishes because they represent the past and the future of rebuilding your wish to make them come true, after a star grants all 2 wishes, they start slowly fading into cosmic dust back to the sky. The rest is also spoilers.

@annymation @emillyverse @uva124 @mythartist21 @kstarsarts @frogcoven88 @oh-shtars @tumblingdownthefoxden @thisnameisnotspokenfor @rascalentertainments @signed-sapphire @gracebeth3604 @gracebethartacc @kmixon @lunellasflo @synergysilhouette @flicklikesstuff

[callmelittlebuttercup]

Peace Offerings Pt. 11

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Chapter Summary: Joel and Reader had avoided each other long enough, and an accident at a community restoration forced them to speak to each other again. The two eventually come to a better way of navigating their feelings.

Series Warnings: Slow burn, Fluff, Angst, Age gap (reader is 34, Joel is 56), 18+ Minors DNI, Sexual Themes, Violence, Injuries (depictions of blood, bruising, broken bones), Cursing, Grumpy!Joel, Minimal depictions of reader's appearance (hair color/length.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Eleven

  A few weeks passed by, and I’d volunteered to help out at the little school they’d established in town for the kids. Matthew continued his shifts on the watch, and we’d been getting along much better since our talk. The one person I hadn’t seen much of was Joel. He’d started to help out with construction and restoration projects around town, and I’d see him leaving for his shifts early in the morning. Around the same time I’d leave to set up for school. Every time I spotted him, I’d feel a pang in my chest. I wanted to talk to him, to talk about what I’d said that night, but he clearly didn’t want to hear it. He made that obvious by keeping his head down every time he left his house. I didn’t try to talk to him, didn’t trust myself not to make things worse. So instead, I acted like I didn’t care, like I was unphased by the way he’d shriveled up and evaporated from my life at the first sign of danger. I knew I’d scared him off. It was no secret, and the regret of not keeping my mouth shut was so crippling I’d barely left the house.          

 It was Saturday morning, and I was getting dressed to go to the community restoration of another abandoned house down the block. Matthew had told me it’d be a good way to get out of the house and “quit moping around.” I figured he was right, that I should meet some other folks in town if I was going to be here for a while. So, I pulled on the new pair of jeans Maria had traded for me, threw on a t-shirt I’d taken from Matthew’s stash, and headed out the door. 

          As I approached the crowd of people gathered around the house, anxiety twisted my stomach. It had been so long since I’d been a part of a community. For 20 years it had only been Matthew and I, just me, and then Joel and I. I stood awkwardly between two women who smiled welcomingly as I approached. We were being divided into groups and each given jobs. My group had been put in charge of knocking down and rebuilding the rotting walls inside the house. 

          I climbed up the steps along with my group and followed down the hall to meet our group leader. I had forgotten that Joel had been doing carpentry work, and my eyes widened at the sight of him standing there holding a sledge hammer and a couple of hard hats. Our eyes met, but he quickly broke the contact as he began to explain the directions. He walked along the line of people, passing out the hats. I was the last one in line. Butterflies fluttered around my rib cage when his hand brushed mine as he placed the hard hat into it. He paused his speech briefly, but continued on. “This house has a lot of rot and hasn’t been touched in years, so no matter what you do, do not remove your head protection.” He said before glancing at me. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. 

            We began with pulling down the walls that he’d made holes in with his sledge hammer. The gloves were far too big for my hands and kept slipping off when they got caught in the plaster. “How’s it goin’?” Joel’s voice rumbled from behind me. I spun around, ending up inches from him. “Me? Oh-I don’t have much experience ripping down walls, but fine I guess.” I sputtered. He nodded and continued to check on the other members of the group. I began to sweat from the repetitive movements of pulling and throwing the plaster, and from having the cloth over my face to protect from the dust. Without thinking, I took my hard hat off to wipe my forehead and pull my hair back. I heard Joel call out my name panickedly, but didn’t have time to react before a sickening crack rang out and I was knocked to the ground by a loose beam in the ceiling. Dark spots crowded my vision and I blinked a few times to clear them, but soon after my vision turned to darkness. 

           I only caught fragments of what happened after I got hit. I heard someone yell, “Does anyone know this girl?” and another voice yell, “I do. Don’t touch her!” I felt the sensation of being picked up and carried to a vehicle. Heard the same voice calling my name, and saying “Come on, sweetheart, you’re gonna be okay. Hurry up will ya? She’s bleeding everywhere!” I felt gentle slaps on my cheek, and opened my eyes briefly to see Joel’s face hovering over me. He had my head cradled in his lap, a hand pressing against the back of my head where I’d been hit. “Hi,” I whispered. He ran his thumb over my cheek, and whispered back, “Hey.” I smiled lightly before the light plus the pressure in my head forced me to close my eyes, but he patted my cheek again, “No, no, don’t close your eyes. You gotta stay awake for me, okay? We’re almost there.” I mindlessly whispered back, “I’m awake.” I tried my best to keep my eyes open and focus on Joel’s face, but the movement of the truck and the light shining in through the window were all too much, and eventually I fell unconscious. 

I awoke in a dark room. There was a faint, continuous beeping sound coming from beside me. I tried to sit up but my head was pounding and my stomach filled with nausea. My attempt to see where I was was fruitless. Both from disorientation, and since the only illumination was the sliver of light coming in from the crack in the door. My name being uttered suddenly filled the heavy silence. I followed the sound to a figure who was propped up in a chair to my right. “Matthew?” I asked groggily. “It’s me.” I finally recognized the voice. The soothing, yet deep and gravelly tone. It was Joel. “Joel? Where’s Matthew?” I asked as I attempted to sit up again. His hand fell onto my shoulder and gently forced me back. “Don’t try to sit up.” He advised gently, “Matthew isn’t-” The door opened and a figure walked in. “Mr. Miller, may I speak with you outside?” The person asked in a polite and calm tone. I watched as Joel’s shadow moved across the room and to the door. The two stood there, seemingly deep in conversation. I strained to hear them, but my head began to hurt worse from the effort and my ears were ringing slightly.  

Eventually, Joel nodded and made his way back to my side. “You remember what happened?” He asked as he sat back down into the chair. “I hit my head.” I answered. “That’s cute. You got your head hit by a support beam.” He spat back. “Sir.” the person who I could only assume was a nurse cleared her throat. Joel leaned back in his chair and let the woman approach. I kept my eyes on her as best as I could as I listened to her speak. She explained, in a much more comforting tone, “Miss, you have suffered blunt force trauma to the back of your head which caused a laceration and a small skull fracture. You likely have a moderate concussion and will have to lay low for the next few weeks to heal.” I huffed in disbelief. “A fractured skull? Does Matthew know?” I questioned panickedly. Joel began to speak, but the nurse cut him off, “Your brother has been notified. We suggest you rest as much as possible for the time being. Once we are happy with your vitals and change your wound dressing, we can discharge you.” She explained. I nodded slightly while twisting the fabric of the thin bed sheet between my fingers.

The nurse exited, leaving Joel and I to sit in silence. “So why are you here?” I asked dryly. “Because you were under my supervision.” He answered, mimicking my tone. I could tell he was annoyed with me. “Right. Go ahead, lecture me about following directions. I know I deserve it.” I said defeatedly. “I’m not allowed.��� He sighed. “Oh so that’s what the nurse was lecturing you about.” I chuckled in realization, “So does that mean you have to be nice to me?” He answered, “Just long enough for you to heal.” I rolled my eyes, ignoring the dull ache behind them. 

We let another bout of silence pass before I spoke again, “So, am I ever going to get an answer about where my brother is?” Joel shifted in his chair and cleared his throat. A nervous tick. “He left for a mission with the watch. A supply trade with another community. He’ll be back in a few days.” He said quietly. “A few days? When the fuck was he going to tell me?” I asked angrily. “Shhh. Calm down. I promised the nurse I wouldn’t tell you, but you deserve to know. He wanted to tell you but he didn’t have much notice. You’re staying with me until you can function on your own.” I laid back in the bed, and tried to still my breathing. Becoming upset only made the nausea and the pressure in my head worse. “I don’t need to stay with you. I’ll be fine on my own.” I insisted. “You won’t be. Your head is cracked open. So, you don’t have much of a choice. It’s me or some randos. I figured you’d rather not be with complete strangers.” He said sternly. I thought for a moment. He was right, I didn’t have a choice. I knew brain injuries weren’t anything to fuck around with, so I needed to brush my ego aside and accept his help despite how confusing his sudden relapse in caring about me was. 

The nurses took my vitals and changed my wound dressing before handing me a bottle of pills and sending Joel and I on our way. I shielded my eyes from the blinding sun as I trailed behind Joel on the street, and he eventually slowed down for me out of pity. He held the door of his house open for me, and began to pour me a glass of water as I settled on his couch. 

            A few minutes passed and the thud of a plate hitting the coffee table next to me snapped me out of the fog I’d been in. I glanced to see what kind of offering it was this time. A sandwich that looked to have more than just meat and cheese. My stomach rumbled at the sight, and I looked up at Joel. “Thank you.” I said quietly as I reached for the plate. He nodded and sat down to eat himself. “The nurse gave me some medicine. Said you needed to eat beforehand. How’re you feelin’?” He asked. I finished chewing the delicacy and swallowed before answering, “Head is aching that’s for sure. The stitches are more annoying than anything.” My hand moved to the back of my head to feel the scratchy bandage. I shuddered to think about what was underneath it. He nodded and turned his attention back to his food. “Speaking of, you’ve got to change your dressing before you go to sleep tonight.” 

          My stomach twisted at the thought of the wound being touched. “Oh. Okay.” I muttered. “I can help ya if you want? It’d be hard to see.” He questioned. I didn’t want Joel to see the sweaty, shaky wreck I would become at the slightest amount of pain. I could handle cramps, broken ribs, possible broken nose, but anything to do with the skull and stitches skeeved me out more than anything. Anxiety started to build in my chest, and I could feel the anger defense mechanism gearing up. “Um… I appreciate all of the help, but I got this.” He nodded. We both finished our sandwiches and then I’d insisted he stay downstairs while I took the bandages and other supplies into the upstairs bathroom. 

           I stood in front of the mirror. Staring at the hair being pushed up from the bandage wrapped around my head. The dark circles pulling my eyes down. My chapped, dehydrated lips. I felt embarrassed that Joel was seeing me like this. I knew I shouldn’t care what he thinks. That he’s seen me in other bad states. But I couldn’t stifle the fact that I wanted him to think I was pretty. 

          I winced as I unraveled the bandage and pulled it off of my head. I laid the bloodsoaked fabric onto the counter and began to pull off the gauze. The sting of the wound being tampered with caused me to let out a small panicked shriek, and I let my hands fall to the edges of the sink. The gauze wasn’t even half-way off, and I brought my hand up to my mouth to stifle the whimpers as I worked through pulling it off the rest of the way. I grabbed the bottle of hydrogen peroxide from the infirmary and poured it onto an extra piece of gauze. After taking a deep breath in, I pressed it to the wound. The searing sensation hit me like a truck, and a loud “fuck” left my throat. 

          “You okay?” Joel called. I heard  him coming up the stairs and opened the bathroom door to reveal my teary eyed self. “No I’m not fucking okay.” I spat, “I can’t do one thing without injuring myself in some way. I don’t even know how I made it this far being this fucking dumb-“ my hysterical rant was halted at the feeling of his hand on my shoulder. “Hey, hey, wait a second. It’s okay.” He said gently as he took the cotton pad out of my hand, “Just let me help you.” His eyebrows knitted in pity as he gently spun me back towards the mirror. I caught my breath and watched him assess the wound on the back of my head. “You’re always helping me.” I mumbled, “Just wanted to do somethin’ for myself for once. You’re always helping me or saving me. Jesus. You only agreed to get me somewhere and now look at you.” I was mainly speaking to distract myself from the pain of the gauze being pressed gently against my head, but Joel was listening. “I agreed to get you somewhere safely.” He corrected me. “And you did. And we were supposed to go our separate ways. The plan wasn’t for you to turn into my personal nurse. God, you even almost got away from me but my stupid brother made me go to that community restoration and there I was again, just taking off my hard hat to wipe the sweat away and then pulling you back into my bullshit.” His face twisted in confusion, “What do you mean ‘almost got away?’” 

          I bit my lip, realizing that in distracting myself I’d also brought up the elephant in the room. “Y-you didn’t talk to me for weeks after that night after the bar. I thought I’d scared you off.” I said sheepishly. “Oh.” He said, his voice deepened. “Did I?” I asked as I made eye-contact with him through the mirror. He didn’t answer for a few moments as he focused on dressing the gash in my head. “It wasn’t you.” He finally spoke, “I scared myself.” I turned around and met his eyes. Our faces and bodies once again inches from each other. “How?” I asked. I watched his eyes as I questioned him. They were always telling the truth before he was, but this time he spoke before they could. “It got me thinkin’… about things I shouldn’t have been.” He said quietly. The rasp of his voice when he spoke in a low tone had me in a chokehold. “Like what?” I practically purred, unable to stop my eyes from flitting between his eyes and his lips. He cleared his throat, “Just things. Turn around, gotta bandage that back up.” His sudden pivot back to reality felt like a punch to the gut. How many more times was he going to avoid this conversation? I didn’t move, my eyes still boring into him like talons. I felt his hands grip my waist and he gently pushed my body to turn forwards. “I can never get anything out of you, Joel. Can you just this once explain yourself so I don’t have to keep guessing?” I pushed. “You know what? You want to know what I was thinking? I was thinking about how I could never be in a relationship again because the fear of losing yo- that person… makes me sick. I almost lost my life over my daughter, and I’d be a fool to think that I could ever make it through something like that again.” I stared at him through the mirror, unable to find the correct words to throw back at him. 

             My heart beat against my ribcage and all I could think about was the fact that he’d almost said “you” as in me. As in he’s scared of losing me. The man who had me convinced he hated me for the first few weeks of our journey. “Joel,” I stammered, “I never insinuated that we-“ He spoke over me, “But I did. I saw the full vision and the fact that I liked it made me almost throw up in the street.” By now he’d finished wrapping my head, and I turned around to face him again. “I felt the same way, Joel. Felt sick to my stomach. But it wasn’t about me ‘seeing the vision,’ it was the fear that I’d lost you. Officially scared you away.” I said quietly. “I don’t know if you could ever do that.” He ground out, his hand was subconsciously placed onto the base of my neck and the look of his glossy eyes were so soft it felt like they were holding me. “I’ve tried to dislike you- to push you away, trust me…” I chimed in, “Me too.” He continued, “but you make that a very hard thing to do.” The earnest look in his eyes and the softening of his voice brought a feverish red to my cheeks. The fluttering I felt in my chest was dizzying. I found myself leaning backwards onto the sink. I was waiting for him to break this moment up. To take a step back and say something dismissive or to just plain run away. But he didn’t. His strong hands held me steadily in front of him, and his eyes embraced my disheveled form. “Why don’t we stop doing that to each other then?” I asked softly. “I can try.” He answered, the side of his face turned up into a miniscule smile. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's note:

I'm so glad everyone is liking this series and sticking around despite it being the SLOWEST BURN EVER :') I can't thank y'all enough!!! A few housekeeping things: From now on, I will be posting a new chapter every Monday + comment to let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist <3

Taglist:

@demonsasss @ayamenimthiriel @ashleyfilm