#i feel like they dont like me anymore....like they like their other bf better
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
You ever had a friendship where like you kind of faded out of each other's lives for a period of time and then re-bonded without ever really addressing the distance so now every time one of you mentions something you never told the other one during The Dark Time you both just have to be like "yeah, this massive thing that happened to me that we didn't talk about at the time but I totally wanted to tell you about but it felt like I couldn't talk to you but I'm also not gonna say it was your fault because I don't want to drive you away again but I know and you know exactly what it is we're not talking about"
#like. i dont blame her for what happened#she was going through a lot of bullshit and i was getting into my current relationship with our mutual friend#and the mutual friend in question it turns out had rejected her like a month and a half before asking me out#so like. things were weird and i dont blame her for not wanting to make a whole thing out of it#and i also get how it would be hard to see me like that with someone you had interest in#but also from my perspective at the time i started dating a boy i liked and my best friend just decided she couldnt be around me anymore#and even though i now have the full context and it doesnt hurt as badly theres still a part of me carrying resentment over it#ive stopped pretending this is relatable content and now im just using the tags on this post as my diary#like on the one hand i know this friendship is worth it because we're stronger than ever now#and shes gotten so much better about vulnerability and admitting i matter to her and communicating in general#but on the other hand it just keeps feeling like theres this elephant in the room that neither one of us has any idea how to address#and like i dont even know if it would be better if we did address it#like 'hey btw i know you had a crush on my now bf and tried to kiss him one time and then didnt tell me when he shrugged you off'#'i also know how much you tried to pretend it didnt hurt you but you distanced yourself from half your friends to avoid having to face it'#'and at the time it was rly frustrating because you acted like me being happy in a healthy relationship was a personal inconvenience to u'#'but i understand now and i forgive you and im glad you came back around eventually because i love you and i missed you'#or can all of those things just remain unsaid and understood
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Its 11 o'clock at night and I'm suddenly reminded of the core memory of me on call with my boyfriend and his sister and them showing me Matilda, because I hadn't seen it before. Not because the movie was necessarily a core thing to experience but I remember watching the first half and then being overtaken by so much pain that I sat in the bathroom of my parents house, in the bathtub, and spent the rest of the movie teetering in and out of consciousness, trying *desperately* to pay attention to the movie because my boyfriend went out of his way to show it to me.
#fe rambles#i call this a core memory and my bf would probably just go no thats just the only full memory you have from the last almost 2 years#also so off topic but i realized that its almost the 2 year anniversary of meeting him and one other friend#and a lot of other people that i dont really talk to anymore bc of Trauma#i wish i could think about that time as only fond memories but i behave like a child ig#im almost 23 can you guys believe that#i cant... i talked to my bf the other day about like.... it doesnt feel right that im already almost 23#maybe 23 will be better for me than 22 has been.... cuz 22 has kinda been awful for the most part
0 notes
Text
dunmeshi mithruncore (every day I can’t get up to make myself eat at all or get up to use the bathroom or fall asleep or actually do more to help myself unless im told to or someone physically Makes me do it or I finally manage to do so for the first time very very late in the day cuz I forced myself to out of fear)
#im in hell#that thing he said about not being able to sleep without magic or meds is so real#my sleep treatments even stopped working gradually#and if I don’t take any at all im laying awake until fuckinf 7 am#it takes me like an hour of holding it in to use the fuckinf bathroom#and the thing that makes me move is being terrified of kidney failure#it’s 6 pm and I still haven’t eaten my first meal of the day. tried ripping into a protein bar I had saved for moments like this but I can’t#make myself take more than 2 bites#the amount of times these past few years I’ve practically passed out from hunger cuz I just. cannot make myself get up to eat or make myself#something. omfgggggggff#I literally am a magic practitioner and have helped myself with spell work many times in the past yet I just can’t. make myself utilize it#more. yet I have all these books and supplies to use. and I’ve studied for hours and hours and know what to do#and it’s crazy cuz when im high off the sleep treatment THEN I actually do things but I don’t wanna use that more cuz im afraid of getting#addicted uhm. yeah idk what to even do anymore#my bf helps tremendously with leading me to do things but I don’t wanna take advantage of him too much and he’s long distance#but jesus fuck im literally on adderall now but its my emotional problems that keep it from working#it’s like wtf happened#I can’t fucking do anything unless someone’s there to guide me through it or keep me engaged as I work or they push me to in some way#and it’s like wow. cuz I want independence more than anything#it’s crazy cuz I related with his old self to the T especially with the desires and competitivity problems and trying to gain things he#doesn’t even actually want just for leverage and a sense of worth and the ‘if im not on the top on everything i dont have actual worth’thing#and other stuff I can’t remember off the top of my head. and I actually had friends and was more talkative#but now it’s like#🪿#yk what I mean#there’s a shitload of other things I relate too hard with but I can’t remember rn or I won’t mention cuz too much to go into#my bf said if he were around irl he’d cook for me and help with stuff when I go thru being like this nonstop which hey nice cuz obv id help#him with anything too#I mean there’s days where im better and can Do Things but it never lasts long and it sucks I can’t ever trust myself having a job or#I had all these things I wanted to do but I just feel nothing toward it and it drives me insane like can this maybe Not happen so often
1 note
·
View note
Note
Congrats on sending that application!
THANK UUUUUU
#it was to a dominos and my partner is a gm in training at a different branch and i have over a year delivery driving experience#already and know Exactly How Low Their Standards Are so im not worried about getting it‚ mostly just that my brain will still be too mushy#to handle a job again#but i mean since it is just dominos and im only aiming for part time it hopefully shouldn't be too bad#and i do not care if they don't like me bc my resumes already pretty good as is i don't need a glowing review from dominos#esp bc i could just put my bf down as a dominos reference and theyd probably just Assume i worked for him and call him#instead of the store i actually worked at KWNDLABFKSBFJD#which is v good bc having seen a lot of what goes on behind the scenes on the manager side via my bf. i already know i am#going to cause problems LMAO#i have the Transgender Working In Very Liberal Area Right Next To Very Conservative Area Protection Aura#wherein the bosses here are So Very Scared of getting in trouble for bigotry and want to look sososososo woke. that i can get away#with being way more blunt abt when shit sucks lol#bosses don't really know what to do when The One Openly Transgender One directly calls out unfair expectations to their face#and to be clear i do mean liberal as in Liberal we're still very much in the North Idaho Splash Zone so like#open bigotry doesnt happen and the public will be on your side if it does. but boy do they know actually nothing about it#you know the type i mean kwbfksbfkd#like the best example i can think of is a couple ppl at my last job still she/her'd me long after i started passing as male#and me Being A Transgender™ had made the news rounds#and my other coworkers wouldnt correct them and would just he/him and they/them me back#which im fine w bc thats how my pronouns work is just. idk whatever you think‚ if you wanna she me you can just look dumb LMAO#but crucially 99% of my coworkers Didnt know thats how that worked‚ they just knew im A Transgender and look like a man#and that everyone else didn't use she/her for me anymore‚ so like an actually left place would rightly assume#they were doing it deliberately to be shitty and correct them‚ whereas here theyre just like. ah im sure they just havent noticed#since you went by she/her when you started here#and its like no i dont think the beard i grew halfway through working there went unnoticed actually#given that Thats When The Universal He Himming Started#im rambling again sorry for this word avalanche irt a simple congrats i got distracted JEBFKABFKSBFKDBFMD#anyways. tyvm it was stressful and i still dont want to do it but its out of my hands now so i have to follow through and at least give it#a try and i appreciate the encouragement‚ it rlly did make me feel a lot better just seeing the ask#gibberasks
0 notes
Text
⋆⭒˚.⋆ i go lower - ʟɴ4 ☆
✿ lando norris x influencer reader + ex bf charles & ex best friend alexandra
✿ charles leclerc just keeps proving how much of a red flag he is
ᵃᵘᵗʰᵒʳˢ ⁿᵒᵗᵉ ୨୧ this is actually bad, i kept losing motivation so i just wanted to end it i’m so sorry
🝮
🝮
two days after the monaco gp
f1wags
liked by landonorris and 29,617 others
f1wags charles with a mystery girl in monaco last night! trouble in paradise?
lordperceval that ain’t no mystery girl 😭
sharls_lerklerk thats alexandra saint mleux she’s y/n’s ex best friend
⤷ lady.georgerussell why’d they stop being friends?
⤷ sharls_lerklerk she got with her ex boyfriend before charles 😭
⤷ lady.georgerussell63 SHUT UP 😭
estiebestie charles red flag leclerc back at it again
ethereal.yn bop
tripod.gasly bro invented homie hopping
all4lando why is no one gonna talk about lando liking this post?
sharls.eclair bro got p1 his home race and don’t know how to act anymore 💀
♥︎ by landonorris
dannyric.canlickle LANDO??!
🝮
ihateyn removed charles_leclerc and ynsbiggestfan as a follower
ihateyn unfollowed charles_leclerc and ynsbiggestfan
ihateyn
liked by lewishamilton and 92 others
ihateyn what the fuck i just woke up from my nap to my boyfriend out on a date with my ex best friend???
oscarpiastri I hate whores
francisca.cgomes i will cut his brakes
georgerussell63 Please dont cry queen I’ll run him off the track don’t worry
landonorris stand up
⤷ ihateyn i’m up
carlossainz55 Just say the word and I’ll make sure he’s never able to drive ever again I have nothing left to lose
lilymhe don’t be a little bitch
⤷ ihateyn you right you right
maxverstappen1 I’ll cut his dick off
sabrinacarpenter girl just tell me what to say and i’ll sing it for you dw
🝮
yn
liked by charlottesiine and 1,912,542 others
yn all in my lonesome
francisca.cgomes he who shall not be named better sleep with one eye open
lorenzotl Je t'aime petite soeur ❤️
⤷ yn i love you too enzo 🤍
⤷ sharlsworld “i love you little sister”
lilymhe once i get my hands on him it’s over for him
lewishamilton Chin up girl, You’ll be alright. sending all my love ♥️
⤷ roscoelovescoco yes’s we love’s you’s!
⤷ yn i love you two 🥹🥹♥️
arthur_leclerc i love you forever sista, my day 1 😇😇
⤷ yn my partner in crime always 🤞🏽
joris__trouche Been quiet since you left
⤷ yn come over whenever you want, you’re always welcome joris 🫶🏽
⤷ sharls_leclercussy gasping for air rn
chillinlikechili charlotte liked??
leclerc_pascale Ne sois pas triste, le soleil brillera à nouveau. Je t'aime pour toujours, viens bientôt tu me manques ♥️🥰
⤷ yn je serai bientôt fini maman je t'aime
⤷ sharlsworld pascale said “don’t be sad, the sun will shine again. i love you forever, come over soon i miss you” y/n said “i’ll be over soon mom i love you”
charleslovesyn ok but joris’ comment? my soul is weeping right now
🝮
yn
liked by danielricciardo and 3,082,561 others
yn 💌💐🎀🪩
landonorris who’s that handsome lad in the last slide? 😍
⤷ yn some bum i picked up on the side of the road
⤷ landonorris he looks absolutely yummy is he single 😈
⤷ yn get outta my comment section
leclerc_pascale Ma jolie fille! Tu me manques, douce fille 🤍🤍🤍
⤷ yn tu me manques aussi maman 💗
⤷ sharlsworld pascale said “my beautiful daughter! i miss you sweet girl” y/n said “i miss you too mom”
⤷ lovely_leclerc she’s literally the daughter she never had i’m sobbing 😭
alex_albon return him this instant
⤷ yn nahhhh
georgerussell63 Hmm interesting…
⤷ carmenmmundt Very interesting
landonorizz HELLLURRR WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE LAST SLIDE??
iactuallyhateyn moving on already?
⤷ yn can i not have guy friends?
lilymhe healing era rn revenge era coming soon trust guys 🥰
⤷ yn 😉
charlesismyman69 home hopping is crazy poor charles i hope he’s ok
⤷ landonorris yeah poor charles i wonder how he’s feeling after cheating on his girlfriend of 4 years with her ex best friend
⤷ oscarpiastri clocked him 🤣🤣
🝮
charles_leclerc
liked by arthur_leclerc and 682,143 others
charles_leclerc Yawn
alexandrasaintmleux 😍😍😍
⤷ forzacharles GIRL
oscarpiastri get out my face bro 💀💀 this is so embarrassing and bad for your image how do you sleep at night
⤷ charles_leclerc very good beside the love of my life. now run along with your master you little lap dog
⤷ oscarpiastri cmon we all know you wish you were still her little lap dog 😂 and is she really the love of your life or the only girl around with no self respect??
⤷ mclaren Oscar please don’t make us take your social media away
landonorris oh that not-
maxverstappen1 Brotha eughh
lilymhe downfall era 💀🔥
⤷ hoeforsainzzz lily muni he & oscar piastri y/n defenders & charles haters: confirmed
♥︎ by lilymhe and oscarpiastri
estiebestie actually his downfall era though
lady.georgerussell erm what the sigma
carlando this should’ve stayed in the drafts
alex_albon this…not fye.
comments have been disabled
🝮
yn
liked by schecoperez and 5,592,781 others
yn life lately 🍉
leclerc_pascale My girl!! You’re like a breath of fresh air for my soul 🤍🤍
⤷ yn you always light up my day maman 🤍
♥︎ by leclerc_pascale
arthur_leclerc i totally won the diving contest idc what everyone else says
⤷ lorenzotl No I definitely did
⤷ yn you two basically belly flopped i won
scuderiaferrari We miss our girl! ❤️
♥︎ by author
charlottesiine cutie pie 😉😘🥰😍
⤷ yn your the reason why 🙂↔️
♥︎ by charlottesiine
landonorris fucked that pasta up
⤷ yn no sauce was detected on that plate after lunch
francisca.cgomes living for this
georgerussell63 I fear you won
⤷ yn 🥇🥇
forzacharles SCREAMING RIGHT NOW WHAT IS GOING ON
estiebestie pascale? arthur? lorenzo? charlotte? i’m deceased
carlossainzappendix she’s winning in life
🝮
yn
liked by danielricciardo and 11,017,535 others
yn worth the wait
landonorris i’d wait a million years for you
⤷ yn you’re to sweet to me
lilymhe this is the revenge era
maxverstappen1 That’s my favorite couple
francisca.cgomes WOOOOOO
leclerc_pascale My daughter deserves all the good in life 🥰 I love you my girl ❤️
⤷ yn i love you maman 💗
arthur_leclerc ❤️❤️
oscarpiastri Now I gotta deal with all the lovely dovey stuff
⤷ yn don’t act like your not happy about this
lewishamilton What did I say? Everything would be alright ❤️
⤷ yn so wise
lorenzotl My little star, you deserve all the love in the world 🌟💛
⤷ yn don’t make me cry enzo
joris__trouche 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
charlottesiine so happy for you pretty 💘
♥︎ by author
🝮
landonorris
liked by maxfewtrell and 8,719,932 others
landonorris i’ll find you in every lifetime
yn nothing can keep us apart
⤷ landonorris nothing at all
francisca.cgomes are we surprised? no
danielricciardo Tone down the pda in the paddock plz 🙏🏽
⤷ landonorris nah fam
carmenmmundt Awhh so happy for you two
⤷ yn marry me carmen
⤷ carmenmmundt I’ll meet you at the altar
⤷ landonorris i just got her and your already taking her away from me 💔
pierregasly Hittin the clubs tonight
lilymhe shoutout to those un loyal bitches!!
alex_albon george owes me 200 bucks
⤷ georgerussell63 Whatever
⤷ yn uh what
⤷ alex_albon i said his post would be more sappy then yours
⤷ landonorris i hate you both
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris smau#lando norris fluff#lando norris smut#f1 smau#f1 imagine#formula 1#charles leclerc#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc x reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
joyride | lewis hamilton
social media au. female!east asian!reader.
summary — in which the internet goes wild when the seven times formula 1 world champion co-wrote and stars in his girlfriend's music video for her comeback single after a long hiatus.
face claim — rina sawayama | song — joyride by kesha
warnings — swearing, suggestive content, one kms joke
author's note — first fic on tumblr !! pls be kind and lmk what i can improve <33
all pictures taken from pinterest. credit to owners.
instagram!
liked by arianagrande, carlossainz55 and 489,273 others
tagged lewishamilton
ynln enjoying life 💙
view all 1,059 comments
user1 "enjoying life 💙" as if u don't have an album to write like ok 🙄🙄
user2 user1 ???? she doesn't owe u anything — liked by ynln
user1 user2 omg it was a joke chill 😭😭
user3 user1 well tell that to her now we're def not getting that album
user4 HOLY SHIT MOTHER JUST POSTED
yourbff my girl is glowing!! — liked by yn
ynln yourbff 💙💙💙💙 ilysm
user5 ever since she started dating him she rarely posts anything anymore :(
user6 user5 does it matter? like she said she's enjoying life and she looks happy with him so what's the problem
user2 lewis being in this post twice oh she's so in love with him
user2 user2 god when is it my turn to be happy
user5 idec about the album anymore 😭😭 she looks so content and that's all that matters
rachelzegler the cutest!!!!
naraaziza beautiful ❤️❤️
lewishamilton when did you take the last picture i didn't even notice?
ynln lewishamilton when you were too busy staring at other girls
user6 ynln LMFAO
user7 ynln do u want me to fight him
lewishamilton ynln baby please
ynln lewishamilton 🙄🙄🙄🙄
user8 ynln GAG HIM
user8 if i was dating sir lewis hamilton i would abandon my career too
user9 user8 ikr who needs a job when your bf is a millionaire
ynln user8 nothing's abandoned babe :)
user8 ynln WAIT WHAT
user10 ynln YN WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
user11 ynln EVERYBODY STAY FUCKING CALM
user12 ynln not her teasing us 😭😭
user13 ynln not the ":)" is everything a joke to u
user14 ynln STOP PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS PLS WE NEED THE ALBUM
user15 user14 FR IT'S BEEN 84 YEARS YNLN PLEASE 😭😭
instagram!
liked by charles_leclerc, michaelbjordan and 1,028,462 others
tagged roscoelovescoco and ynln
lewishamilton a much needed gateaway
view all 4,927 comments
ynln 💙💙💙💙 i love u
lewishamilton ynln i love you more baby
user1 ynln lewishamilton god idk how many me and who i got left in me
user2 user1 if they ever broke up i will never believe in love again
user3 user2 the standard fr
mercedesamgf1team do u guys need a third
user4 merdecesamgf1team HELP 😭😭
user5 mercedesamgf1team ADMIN??????
user6 mercedesamgf1team admin is just like me fr
user7 mercedesamgf1team dont u guys have better things to do like idk, fix those fuck ass cars? — liked by ynln
user8 OMG ROSCOE
user9 hey sir lewis is your gf single
danielricciardo did you guys try the restaurant i suggested?
lewishamilton danielricciardo yes! the food was incredible mate thank you
user10 danielricciardo lewishamilton 344 interaction in the years of our lord 2024 this was not on my bingo card
user11 can you pls tell yn to get her ass to that studio her fans are starving 🙏🏼 — liked by lewishamilton and ynln
user12 user11 yk what else we need? a xnda comeback 🙏🏼 — liked by ynln
user13 user12 OMG YES
user11 user12 LEWIS LIKED YOUR COMMENT OH MY GOD????
user12 user11 AND YN AS WELL WHAT IS GOING ON
twitter!
instagram!
liked by livkatecooke, chappellroan and 3,837,930 others
ynln "joyride" single and mv out 11.2 co-written and featuring the one and only xnda aka lewishamilton 🧡🧡 told u guys i'm not abandoning anything ;)
view all 11,638 comments
user1 JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I JUST WOKE UP
user2 YN WHAT THE HELL
user3 FINALLY
user4 QUEEN OF POP IS BACK
user5 CO-WRITTEN AND FEATURING WHO??????
lewishamilton you're fucking killing it babe 🧡
ynln lewishamilton ilysm baby thank u for agreeing to be part of this 🫶🏼🫶🏼
user7 SCREAMING CRYING SHAKING THROWING UP
user6 WE ARE SO MF BACK
rkive can't wait!
ynln rkive i love u!!
user8 rkive ynln bts x yn ln collab when
user8 she's coming for her third grammy already i can feel it
alex_albon ready to have it on repeat!
georgerussell63 let's go!
twitter!
instagram!
liked by iamhalsey, megantheestallion and 7,638,927 others
tagged ynln
lewishamilton joyride by ynln feat. xnda is out now 🧡 me and yn have always wanted to make a song together but my own insecurity halted us from releasing it. we got the idea for joyride while on our roadtrip in italy and i originally did the demo and was only supposed to co-write with yn but my lady convinced me to fully be part in this and how could i say no? thank you for believing in me, my love. i am so proud of you 🧡
view all 45,173 comments
ynln baby 🧡🧡🧡🧡 i love u so much thank you for agreeing to be part of this it means a lot to me
lewishamilton ynln anything for you sweetie 🧡
user1 lewishamilton ynln i'm gonna sleep on the highway tonight
ynln user1 pls don't do that the album is coming out in three months
user1 ynln EXFUCKINGSCUSE ME@!-!&!#;#!
user2 ynln WE'RE ACTUALLY GETTING AN ALBUM??????
ynln user1 user2 ;)
georgerussell63 banger!
lewishamilton georgerussell63 thanks mate!
user3 yn could ask lewis to jump into a volcano and he'd do it
ynln user3 don't tempt me
user3 ynln HELP
user4 we love a supportive boyfriend
user5 god i've seen what you've done to others
user6 love the bonnie and clyde theme and roscoe cameo 🙏🏼
user7 "my lady" "my love" "sweetie" god i'm so painfully single
tomcruise amazing!
maxverstappen1 i still can't believe you can sing
lewishamilton maxverstappen1 believe it
twitter!
— thanks for reading! reblogs are highly appreciated 🫶🏼🧡
#formula 1#f1#formula one#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x oc#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula one x y/n#formula one x oc#formula 1 x asian!reader#formula 1 x east asian!reader#formula one x asian!reader#formula one x east asian!reader#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x asian!reader#lewis hamilton x east asian!reader#lewis hamilton x oc#lewis hamilton x you#smau#social media au#f1 smau#formula 1 smau#formula one smau
254 notes
·
View notes
Text
american girl & british boy - lando norris
summary- established relationship
pairings- lando norris x sargeant!reader
authors note- might be spelling errors, feel free to put in requests
masterlist
y/nsargeant
liked by landonorris, logansargeant,and 2,837,872
y/nsargeant I ♡ my bf
view all comments
landonorris my love
logansargeant disgusting
username ITS A NEED OF WHAT THEY HAVE
logansargeant i expected a better caption from you considering how much of a swiftie you are
username they’re so lover coded i fear
username couple goals
lilymhe you're cheating on me
y/nsargeant it's not what it looks like baby
alex_albon @ landonorris you seeing this???
landonorris I am??
alex_albon we'll get married lando
y/nsargeant oh fuck no back off lily and lando are mine alex
username don't you just love lover from other couples
username if they ever break up please know i’ll be dead
username that should be me holding your hand💔💔
username don’t let your boyfriend stop you from finding the love of your life
maxverstappen p said she wants you back asap
y/nsargeant tell her I'll be back soon😔🤞🏻
username i wish i was lando so i could just stare at her all day
landonorris
liked by y/nsargeant, carlossainz55, and 2,927,415
landonorris my travel buddy
view all comments
y/nsargeant I love you❤
username I love them so much together:(
username hes so inlove
username if my future bf doesnt love me this much i swear-
username tHaT sHoUlD bE mE
carlossainz55 I thought I was your travel buddy😔
y/nsargeant not anymore buddy
charles_leclerc your down bad my man
y/nsargeant so are you so stfu
username y/n arguing with the other drivers is everything
username I'm going on tinder
logansargeant gross. give me my sister back
landonorris no can do buddy
y/nsargeant
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 3,837,872
y/nsargeant yup yup going back to these mfs in a week
tagged landonorris, mercedesamgf1, pierre gasly, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, arthurleclerc, carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, and logansargeant
view all comments
mercedesamgf1 delete that-toto
y/nsargeant no can do grandpa
mercedesamgf1 your not allowed in the garage
y/nsargeant I always find a way in😍 now go to sleep gramps
username LANDO
username y/n stays bullying toto
username lewis was kidnapped
oscarpiastri I slayed
username can we talk about how cute charles looks
y/nsargeant him dying is cute?
username PLS-
username y/n always getting flipped off
y/nsargeant I know right😔
pierregasly she gets on my nerves
logansargeant she deserves them
y/nsargeant I'm older dont try me
logansargeant BY 5 MINUTES
y/nsargeant best 5 minutes of my life and then your screeching came along
landonorris I'm pretty sure you were screeching as well baby
y/nsargeant dont defend him😒
username them arguing in the comments is the best
username carlando❤
username I'm obsessed with all of them
lewishamilton I was kidnapped for no reason
username summer is almost over
landonorris
liked by carlossainz55, y/nsargeant, and 3,827,182
landonorris my gf made me post this but late night shenanigans
view all comments
lilymhe y/n always has the best sleepovers
username I want this friend group
username y/n being on top of that thingy is terrifying especially with her thoughts
username I need friends
maxverstappen y/n decided to jump off that
carlossainz55 I got pushed off the couch by y/n
alex_albon y/n stole my gf
charles_leclerc she hit me with a wooden spoon
arthurleclerc she let me sleep
lewishamilton she yelled at me to bring roscoe
pierregasly she yelled at me to bring kika
logansargeant she slammed the door on my face
danielriccardo she threw cake at me
oscarpiastri she stole my phone
landonorris she made me sleep on the floor
y/nsargeant ACCUSATIONS FALSE ACCUSATIONS
username damn they really came for her throat
y/nsargeant IM NEVER HAVING A SLEEPOVER AGAIN I HATE YALL
y/nsargeant
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen, and 3,152,837
y/nsargeant back to paddock-sitting no more vacation-sitting
tagged lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen, landonorris, lilymhe, alex_albon, pierregasly, sebastianvettel, danielriccardo, heidiberger_, alexandrasaintmleux
view all comments
landonorris we are so cute
alex_albon was a chef slay
pierregasly we are not that bad
lilymhe yall are horrible
y/nsargeant what she said
heidiberger_ what she said
francisca.cgomez what she said
username lando and y/n are the power couple
charles_leclerc stalker
username y/n stalking charles
maxverstappen you are a mean babysitter
y/nsargeant and you need to stop running away
username dont you just love love
username I want a lando and y/n relationship
username if they dont get married istg
danielriccardo lan looking a little funny in the first photo
sebastianvettel nice see you guys
username oh to be loved
#f1 social media au#f1 one shot#formula one imagine#landonorris#lando norris#lando norris social media au#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#carlos sainz#charles leclerc#lewis hamilton#alex albon#pierre gasly#daniel ricciardo#max verstappen#sebastian vettel#logan sargeant#formula one social media au#formula one#arthur leclerc#carlos sainz 55#oscar piastri#mercedes amg f1#toto wolff
957 notes
·
View notes
Text
ㅤ — ༿ີ۪۪ ͏ ͏ open 𝓌ide awake ㅤ ⠀⠀𓋜 𝒮JY
𝒶sk :: what do you think about writing a drabble wherein sleepy!reader x horny bf!jake ? like reader is really sleepy and about to doze off but jake gets really turned on beside her then he waits for reader to sleep then when reader finally dozes off he starts getting really touchy 😫 SORRY IF THIS IS WEIRD OMG😭😭😭 (a/n: its not weird anon i love u for this)
𝓅airing . sleepy!reader x horny bf!jake ✧ ㅤ𝑔enre . smut , some (?) fluff , drabble 671
MINORS DNI
req status . taking rquests
not proofread😓
reminder . everything here is FICTIONAL, meaning NOTHING HERE IS REAL! these things never happened. if u dont like my work dont read it pls and ty !
© shypen 2024. do not copy, plagiarize or repost
“stay awake.”
“nooo i have work tomorrow, jake..” you squint your eyes as you yawn.
“pleaseee for me?” he whines, pouting. you shake your head, thinning your lips into a line. he nods, still pouty as he accepts his fate.
pitch black.
everything’s pitch black, your eyes closed, finally asleep.
jake won’t accept that.
as you’re asleep, you shift your position, and your leg applies friction to jake’s hardness.
he cant take it anymore, his hands travel to your thighs, giving them a light squeeze before sneaking up your inner thighs. his hands tug on your waistband, pulling your skirt down. when you feel the cool air hitting you, that’s when you wake up. your eyes are still closed shut, your other senses enhancing. his body presses against your back, you can hear the rustling sounds of jake trying to remove his shorts as quietly as he can. one hand fumbles with the zipper of his shorts, the other reaching over to the side table, opening a drawer to grab an extra condom. as much as he wants to feel your warmth all over, he respects your boundaries.
he removes his pants and underwear in one go, quietly tossing them on the floor.
oblivious to the fact you're awake, a soft gasp escapes his plump lips when he watches you drag his hand to your waist. he takes the opportunity, groping your cheeks as he slowly makes his way in your tightness. jolts of pleasure run through you and apparently him too, both of you letting out almost simultaneous sharp gasps. the stretch was slow but felt so good, and considering your sleepy state it only felt better. you're impatient. you're craving more. it's not enough. it's late, everythings a blur. all of your concerns fade away in the pleasure. will you be late to work? yeah, but besides.. it's just one day. an uncontrolled moan slips out as he slides into you balls deep. even if he’s wearing a condom, you’re still so tight and warm around him, a subtle groan escaping him. the faint whimper of jake’s name coming from you only turns him on more, he slips out of you before shoving his whole length into your warmth. you grab the sheets, squeezing tight, your lips trembling with a whine.
“so tight,” he mumbles, his pace increasing the more he hears your moans ringing in his ears. he keeps a steady pace, holding your waist tightly. your head falls on his shoulder, your forehead resting on it to try to keep your composure. the tiny whimpers and moans uncontrollably flowing from your mouth turns jake’s head into mush. he lifts your chin up, leaving wet and hot kisses on your neck trailing down to your collarbones.
his method is addictive, the contrast between the emptiness and then filling your wetness up all the way causes your mind to spin, pain only adding to the pleasure. “‘m c-cumming—” your weak voice manages to let out, the raspiness of it causing jake to chuckle. “m-me too..” he winces, his once stable and steady pace turning into an unevenly fast and sloppy one, the air so unbelievably hot.
you feel the warmth of his body even through the cloth of the shirt he’s wearing, your vision seeing stars. you let out whines of jakes name like its the only name you know once your orgasm washes over you. jake doesn’t stop yet, instead speeding up to chase his own. his cock twitches in you, coming undone inside of you. he pulls out of your gummy walls, removing the condom. almost automatically he embraces you, patting your head, caressing your hair, leaving kisses on your neck, cheek, face, forehead, lips, etc. “are you okay?” his australian accent noticeable as he mutters against your skin. you pat his shoulder, reassuring him you’re fine. “let’s go to bed, yeah?” jake mumbles, somehow pulling you closer to him. your chest against his now. you nod, the corners of your lips curling up into a smile.
a / n : haiii anon if ur reading this ur the first person ever to request a fic from me and i love u thank u so muchh!! im not sure ab this but i really hope you like it,, thank u for requesting anon 🫶🏻
tags: @belovedhoon @hmusunoo @st1llm0nster @hursheys @quhrtz @kwanholic
#jake#jake enhypen#enhypen jake#jake fanfiction#enha jake#jake enha#sim jaeyun#jake fanfictions#enhypen jake fanfictions#jake enhypen fanfictions#jake enhypen fanfiction#enhypen jake fanfiction#jake enha fanfiction#jake enha fanfic#enhypen#enhypen fanfic#enhypen fanfics#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fanfictions#kpop#kpop fanfic#kpop fanfics#kpop fanfictions#kpop fanfiction#jake smut#enhypen jake smut#jake enhypen smut#enhypen smut
169 notes
·
View notes
Text
BREATHE DEEPER | four.
a charlie bushnell x fem!reader social media fic.
y/n
liked by iamcharliebushnell, levizmiller, dior.n.goodjohn, and others
y/n — australia’s my new fav country
tagged | levizmiller
levizmiller i’m challenging you to another round of pool tonight ↳ y/n bet
iamcharliebushnell when’d you go to australia? 😭 ↳ y/n when u didn’t show up for acai bowls >:( ↳ iamcharliebushnell im sowwy ↳ y/n DONT YOU DARE ↳ iamcharliebushnell okok sorry but thought you'd be in london ↳ y/n soon, yeah :')
levizmiller y/n im gonna poke you ↳ y/n okayy hi ↳ levizmiller let’s get boba ↳ y/n YES
dior.n.goodjohn I MISS U COME BACK TO ME ↳ y/n once my australian chronicles are over i promise i will <3 ↳ dior.n.goodjohn WOOOO
walker.scobell youre pretty! ↳ y/n thanks lil dude!
i.am.andrewalvarez AUSSIEEE ↳ y/n THE SWEET ESCAPE FR
aryansimhadri DID YOU SEE KANGAROOS ↳ y/n NO NOT YET THOUGH I HOPE I DO
dailymail Y/n and Levi? ;)
user omg bf reveal happening??
user2 ive never held my breath this much
“GALILEO’S GALS” — 5 notifications!
chanel’s enemy Y/N
lee lee Y/N
dr dre why am i in this gc
chanel’s enemy because u are
lee lee we’re getting off topic Y/NNN CMERE
↳ hiiiii?
chanel’s enemy HIIII HRU ILY
↳ ILY TOO BAE IM GOOD WBU
chanel’s enemy WE GOOD WE HAVE SOME ?’s THO
↳ oh?
lee lee ARE YOU AND LEVI DATING
dr dre OHH THIS MAKES SENSE YEAH ARE YOU??
↳ nooooo
chanel’s enemy that’s a very interesting no
↳ we’re not but idk
chanel’s enemy what
lee lee girl wdym
↳ we’re not dating but i think he likes me? idk
dr dre do you like him back though???
↳ eh he’s very sweet but i’ve always seen him as a best friend, i don’t think we could be more
lee lee do you want to be more??
↳ i mean, i’d give him a chance if he asked? but it’s not anything i’m particularly into or wanting
chanel’s enemy okay that helps
↳ uhhh why
dr dre well if my sleepy ass remembers correctly, everyone and their mother are wondering if you’re dating
↳ nah that aint possible
lee lee it is, stupid dailymail picked up on it first 💀
↳ my manager’s asleep, no wonder she hasn’t updated me lol oh well idgaf they can think what they want
chanel’s enemy but even walker and charlie are 😭
↳ they’re gonna forget it in t-minus four secs it’s fine
dr dre whatever you say, ma’am but are you sure that ‘cryptic’ caption won’t cause any issues??
↳ uhh andrew you’re scaring me
dr dre what if someone likes you? like like-likes you and knows you and gets hella jealous or doubtful? and not saying charlie does but he was raving about how he might finally get to hang out with you, ONE ON ONE. what if he thinks he can't because he thinks you two are dating?
↳ bro first off ik you don’t like me, neither does aryan and i know its DEFINITELY not walker
lee lee girl he had a celeb crush on you a few years ago dont tell him i told u that
chanel’s enemy LMFAOOOO but no andrew has a point how come you didn’t mention charlie? 🤨
dr dre yeah i was just aboutta say 🤨 especially after my little analysis?
↳ SECONDLY, guys, charlie doesn’t. not one bit and that’s obvious, like he isn’t even in considerations. i understand what he may feel but he has nothing to worry about. he knows i won't ditch him or anything lol (right?) but if anything the only person that’d be a little confused or whatnot is william
chanel’s enemy WHAT?? AS IN WILLIAM FRANKLYN MILLER??
lee lee huh 😃
↳ we dated for a month back when we were 15 or so and realized we were way better off as friends
lee lee why ?
↳ idk i think i was just jealous of lily 😭 but anyways we’ve been just friends since and i’m completely happy with that. i don't see him romantically anymore, yeah he’s hot but like nah. but yeah if he was confused, it's probably because i was best friends with levi when we dated too and might question if he was the cause of our split?? AGAIN THATS IF HE OVERTHINKS IT
dr dre i feel like i’m reading an autobiographical analysis you definitely are fond towards “millers”
↳ ur welcome <333 and NO i am not
chanel’s enemy okok so we got several people who’d be jealous
↳ WHAT WDYM SEVERAL I ONLY LISTED ONE
lee lee ain’t no way you’re ignoring charlie
↳ DUDES I REALLY DONT THINK HE LIKES ME
dr dre but there could be a possibility? just don’t rule him out
↳ bro he doesn't like me 😭 but yeah trust me everything’s gonna be okay again i dont like anyone and no one likes me, and we'll make sure it's obvious i'm single in case anyone does though that may take a while... ANYWAYS
lee lee suuuuure you should hang out with charlie btw
↳ idk why but im scared to 😭
lee lee but you need to he misses you a lot yk
↳ doesn’t change the fact that im SCARED
lee lee WHY WOULD YOU BE SCARED ITS JUST CHARLIE
↳ IDK I JUST DONT WANNA SEEM STUPID OR UNATTRACTIVE AND SHIT
lee lee HE FLIRTS WITH YOU ALL THE TIME AND MESSES UP JUST AS MUCH, YOURE NOT THE EMBARRASSING ONE HERE
↳ DUDE I KNOW I CAN BE AND I DONT WANNA DRIVE HIM AWAY
dr dre sure you and levi hang out and are sweet and shit but BRO the teeth rotting sugar is you and charlie in your damn COMMENTS
↳ ITS NOT THAT BAD, IS IT?? 😭 GOD I HOPE CHARLIE DOESNT THINK OF ME ANY DIFFERENTLY
chanel’s enemy i think u like charlie, miss girl
↳ NO
dr dre nah, they’d be cute together, even charlie said so himself
chanel’s enemy you dumbass
dr dre uhhh ANYWAYS said too much im gonna sleep again love youse
lee lee BRO yeah night babes <3
chanel’s enemy LOVE U BAE GN
↳ what the duck STUPID AUTOCORRECT WHAT THE FUCK AINT NO WAY YALL JUST DIPPED fine ily guys too </3 BUT DONT THINK IM LETTING THAT GO EASILY ugh what do you guys mean 😭 aint no way thats true OKOK YK WHAT BYE!! FOR REAL THIS TIME
— taglist.
@shokocoded @istillremberthefirstfallofsnow @surftrips @svtsimp22 @gcidrvsh @idontevencare1223 @thames-fig @captainshischier @reggieslifeboat @multifandom-loser @wheelerslover @mermaid-mqtel @randomnpc456 @kaithoughs @isab3lita @mariposa555 @sunshinessky @myr-cheri @thedeadlynights @ella33 @c1nn4mng1rl @poppysrin @breadbrobin @lucy-the-ant @jules-loves-lukecastellan @taloulalila @tom-pls-fuck-me @mia-luvs @iknowyoureabigfan @rinisfruity14 @chasebeth @auttumnsayshi @prettygirlformula @alwayswndr @balletfilmss @kestisvrse @1forthemoney2forthekish @eissaaaa @emelia07 @toffytaste @soulaires @bearwon @happy-mushrooms @simrah1012 @blimp-blimp @obxstiles @yuminako @hopexcroc @mackycat11 @knowugetdejavu @0puddleofgender0
thank you so much for all your love and support, it really means the world to me. y/n's beginning to find out certain things, wonder where things will go from here 🤔
as always, i will continue updating the taglist :)
i love you and am so proud of you, stay safe and drink water <3
#charlie bushnell#charlie bushnell x reader#charlie bushnell x you#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#pjo#pjotv#social media fic#luke castellan#percy jackson x reader
359 notes
·
View notes
Note
Something that I love that is basically canon is how in tune Theo and Liam are. Like post season 6 I imagine the pack find it so startling to the point where it’s almost creepy.
I like to imagine that sometims when theres a break or intermission after/during a meeting or get together one of the pack will be like, “where’s Liam/or Theo?” And the other will know the exact location just immediately before any other supernatural has picked up the other’s scent or hearing. There are also totally times where someone will ask them both a question or for their opinion and Thiams eyes will just meet and everyone else watches as the two have a whole conversation without any direct communication. You could argue others in the pack can also do this like Stiles and Scott or Derek and Stiles or even Mason and Corey. BUT Liam and Theo are on a whole other level. What’s the best about this concept though is the absolutely hilarious faces the pack makes when they do anything like this in front of them-Liam the angry beta and Theo the chimera of death are so universally understood by one another that no words are needed between the two, and that is just shocking to everyone else. Both boys have so much trouble verbally communicating how they’re feeling/thinking with everyone, and so for both of them to find someone that can literally just tell with a look is so meaningful.
No one even knows how to describe the two of them separately anymore, including each other, because they are just so unanimously ONE. One soul, one brain, one heart. They love each other but it’s also just SO MUCH MORE than that!
oh absolutely and as you said, i love that this is canon. there's so many instances of this in s6 and while liam constantly tries to deny it, hes always looking for theo. and its so lovely how they just get each other. even in s6a when theo hasnt been back yet for long, they effortlessly fight next to each other. obviously s6ep20 is an even better example of this because they're so in tune, they easily work off of each other cues, and they even get so physical with it??? they stay right by each others side, liam literally rolls himself over theos back and theo gives him a little boost to further his momentum. like its actually so cute of them how well they understand each other.
and that's not even getting into their whole eye contact thing... them wordlessly communicating during the confrontation with gabe in the locker room and liam turning to look at theo when peter complains about his car getting destroyed are two moments that immediately come to mind for me. also, theo turning to look at liam after they leave the police station, when the pack fakes leaving beacon hills. they have so many moments where they look at each other and literally just. stare. they dont say anything, the pack doesnt fucking address this either??? its just them looking into each other's eyes and it makes me crazy. like that scene in s6ep16 where mason asks liam "should i come with you guys?" and instead of answering, liam looks to theo. theo looks back at liam and THEN answers mason. like. ok. just liam expecting his bf to answer his best friend and said boyfriend immediately reacting. whatever.
scott, at least, actually canonically sometimes looks at them a bit suspiciously (heres a lovely compilation of that by my dear oomf on twt) and its absolutely hilarious to me. i dont doubt that the pack would side-eye them occasionally but i feel like they'd accept thiam being thiam relatively quick, because they're already so used to their gay antics in canon. like when theo dragged liam into the bathroom at the police station in front of the entire pack?? and no one stopped him? liam didnt try to fight back either??? like, alright. their surprise wouldnt stay for long because even before they're in an actual relationship, they already act that way with each other.
going away from canon, i totally agree with them knowing where the other one is. i think they become obsessed with keeping track of each other's scent and heartbeat, but in a very sweet way. they find it calming and reassuring. theo unconsciously listening to liams heartbeat as a background noise. just in the back of his mind, because it makes him feel more comfortable. and being able to pick out liams scent literally always bc hes spent so much time looking out for it. i feel like for theo its more of a soft indulgence. he loves liam and automatically does these things. it makes him happy, even if he wouldnt admit it.
for liam, it stems more from insecurity and fear. liams abandonment issues ("hayden left me. scott's leaving, too." his reaction when he hears that morey are planning to go to the same college (possibly "leaving liam behind") and as a hc: his bio dad leaving him and his mom) and the way theo throws himself into danger for liam. liam would keep track of theos scent and heartbeat to make sure that he's still around, that he's still alive. liam feeling relieved everytime he has proof that theo hasnt left. that theo hasnt gotten himself killed. as you said, they kinda suck at verbally communicating so liam wouldnt be able to articulate this to theo. that liam has this anxiety of theo leaving, in whatever way, like everybody else. thankfully, theos actions would be enough to calm liam. he himself would never think this of himself, but hes incredibly reliable when it comes to liam.
i love this concept of them going from being liam and theo to liam and theo. in s6ep16 there's two scenes where characters refer to them as a pair (nolan talking to the hunters about them and scott mentioning them to malia, lydia & argent) and its something so simple but it makes me so giddy. they're a pair. they belong to each other. they're liam and theo. and they fit each other so well. they mirror each other in a lot of things, but they also complete each other. theo is the calm to liams anger and vice-versa. they make each other angry, they make each other happy, they suck at verbally communicating but they effortlessly understand each other. they each think of themselves as a monster and help each other learn that thats not the case. they're liam and theo and im insane about them.
like yeah them as a ship is obviously something i love. but its not just them in a relationship that i find interesting about them. even if you dont ship them, their dynamic is so fascinating and their interactions are really fun. the way liam goes from "hating" theo to trusting him but still being in denial about that so he keeps lashing out at theo (threatening to kill him, saying scott will never trust him, etc) and the way theo goes from only being interested in his own survival to deeply caring about liam, saving his life and staying for him. all this is extremely romantic and homoerotic to me, but even if, for some weird reason, you do not read it that way, you still cannot deny that theres a bond between those two. they're linked to each other, no matter how you view their relationship.
#sorry this is all over the place#i have thoughts#but my brain is not cooperating#maybe ill elaborate more abt this in another post#i just finally wanted to answer this ask#thank you as always i love hearing your thoughts#theninth09asks
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
ughhhh, i don't want my blog to turn into some kind of relationship-crybaby-blog, but i do have a lot to think about atm
i dont really have anyone to talk with about this. all my friends are in happy relationships and dont really seem to take any other stance than "you cannot break up" and that just really isnt helping me
buuuut, if you aren't interested in my personal (non-ed) issues, just scroll on<333 no hard feelings
so, for now, i'll just type this into space and hopefully get some kind of catharsis i guess
it's currently 1 am and i am in my childhood bedroom and i can't sleep. my head feels like it is fucking spinning. every thought in my head is "why do i feel like this? if i feel this bad should i just stay with him? but do i actually feel in love with him anymore? it's not fair to continue being with him, if i don't actually want to. would i miss him? would i regret it?" and then just in a big ol' loop
mixed with thoughts of my friend i talked to all of friday night. his face has popped up in my head constantly since i went home at 7 am from being with him all night. i feel fucking butterflies in my stomach, and get all giggly, and i want to say his name out loud for some strange reason - until i think about what these fucking butterflies mean and then i feel sick to my stomach and want to throw up. every butterfly i feel is like taking a step away from my bf, and i literally cannot control it
i feel like an absolutely horrible person, fuckk,brnfjkgnkmrf
'cause i also keep thinking about all the things my bf have done that hurt me (i guess, to make myself feel better?? but it makes me feel a whole lot fucking worse. both because i feel like a horrible person, and because he's made me fucking sad a lot of times)
like this summer, i got my bachelors degree (a fucking big thing for me - and he knew that), and he knew that i would have my last exam in, like, the end of june. i gave him the date as soon as i could (maybe two/three weeks ahead) and then like a week before i graduate, he remembers that he has plans with his 5 best friends to go drinking
and guess what
he chooses to go drinking with his friends. he celebrates me for like... 1 hour, 2 hours max. as soon as my friends arrived he was like "oops gotta go drinking with my friends that i can see all the time. no time to celebrate my girlfriend getting her bachelors degree, although she will never ever have a day like this again. no no, gotta go get shitfaced. and i am actually not going to apologize"
also at my last birthday, i celebrated it at my parents house for most of the day, and then went home in the evening (like after dinner) to go get drinks with my friends. we had planned that he would come home to my parents with me the day before, and then we could wake up together on my birthday and he could be with me and celebrate and stuff
3 days before my birthday, he says he doesn't want to go with me to my parents' house to celebrate my birthday, because he has to read for school (it was in a holiday as well, he didn't have school for days). the weekend before my birthday he chose to go drinking with his friends (i was ofc not invited) and couldnt get out of bed for days, but whenever my birthday rolled around he had to be an A fucking student. so he cancels and then we only see each other for the last, like, 4 hours of my birthday, with all of my friends and some family - and then he got annoyed with me for getting sad
he talks over me, he interrupts me and then never asks me what i was saying, he ignores me every time he picks up his phone, he always prioritizes friends, family, work and school over me, he's really good at making me feel small (not in the good way) and stupid. he corrects almost everything i say, also stuff that i dont say, but that he just want to "clear up". he drops plans w me so easily, to be with his friends and he almost never invites me. he insists on touching my belly although i've told him it makes me very uncomfortable, and then gets annoyed when i remove his hand - because 'he likes touching it, and i shouldnt feel bad about my belly'. he often ignores my text messages if he doesnt feel like they matter to him. when i ran my first 10K he ran 11K the next day to show off (he did apologize, but i still cant believe he actually did that shit). whenever ive met his friends and family, they are better at including me in the conversation than he is: he will leave me alone with people i barely know, to go do something else (and he knows that i have some social anxiety). he gets annoyed with me over things that he believes i do on purpose, but i dont (e.g. wake up later than him?? go pee before i make coffee for us?? when i forget socks when i sleep over, and ask to borrow some of his? same w phone charger and other stuff. and he usually ends up with saying "omg its just a joke" but i can feel that it isnt. otherwise he wouldve stopped doing it). sometimes he makes jokes at my expense or is just plain rude, and when i tell him to stop, he will tell me to grow up and accept a joke, and whenever i say he makes me uncomfortable/annoyed he says "i cant take that seriously" or "thats the fun part". he is horrible at picking up after himself, and will get annoyed with me if i do it for him (i cant stand mess, and he knows this.) he wont do the dishes for days on end in HIS OWN apartment, so whenever i come to visit, i usually end up doing them, cause i cant stand mess. and he ALWAYS comes out when theres like 1 spoon left and is like 'oh gosh nooo sweety, you shouldn't have done all that.. awww.. nooo, now i feel bad.. *hug, kiss* oh well' and then go back to laying on the couch).......
ofc he also has good sides, but now that i've mentioned all the crap i have a hard fucking time remembering it. but i know that he does. he gives good hugs, he can give great advice, he usually doesnt judge the stupid things i do. he knows my quirks and he likes cooking me food. he hates rubbing my back, and will get annoyed if i ask him, but he is good at it. he has nice eyes and a cute smile. he knows a lot about the things im interested in (but usually shows off his knowledge in a know-it-all kinda way). hes creative and has good music taste
ugh, i am so sorry for this long ass rant, but i just needed to get this off my chest... if anyone actually read all this, and has some advice or... anything... feel free to send a message or a reply or something idk
i feel horrible
#amy’s ⭐️ving adventure#ana trigger#tw ana diary#ed not ed sheeran#tw ed diet#thinspø#tw disordered eating#ed not sheeren#⭐️ve#⭐️ving#i will reach my ugw
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
☁️🐇💭
i dont know it all makes me feel so not human, like im missing out on a big human experience. everyone around me has a partner or have had one/multiple. even my old friend a, who i recently messaged a bit with.. even he has a bf. an all of my old friends have currently a partner, and my old classmates have partners and i dont know i just really wonder whats so wrong with my and why im not allowed to be a part of humanity. i know im extremely ugly and have an unappeaking body and on top of that an atrocious personality but like....... so do other ppl. a few of my old friends are bullies and theyre ugly as i am but they're still married and live with their boyfriends... what is so incredibly different with me, why dont i get go partake in humanity???? im like 35 fkn yrs old and never. never. i lack smth so major about being a humanbeing. recently i read a romance book abt two ppl in their 30s who were virgins and fell in love, but like even they had experienced kissing. which i havent. not even a peck. ive never been flirted with never been asked on a date never ever. and i also feel like im quickly getting older and it gets more and more embarrassing bc society ARE judgemental. am i gonna date someone for the first time when im 33yrs old and be like yeah sorry im 33 but ive never even kissed bro im terrible and useless with all of that. no fucking adult is gonna wanna "teach" or have patience with a 33yr old partner who dont know anything about any of that like be for real. i cant hide it either bc they will tell when i dont even know how to kiss. this is if i even ever get to be in a romantic/sexual situation lol.
and like no it isnt normal. most ppl, like the fucking majority, like at least 8/10 ppl have had SOME sexual experience, even if its just kissing. i have zero. like i dont even have experience in flirting. "its ok its normal" no it isnt, its fucking sad and pathetic and humiliating and sets me apart from the rest of humanity, the rest of the world. im 25 and it means im undesirable and unwanted. "u dont have to be in a relationship to be whole" but i WANT to. i used to just want friends, i was fine for somany years with being alone and just wishing to meet friends. but not anymore, it doesnt do anything for me anymore. if anything it only emphasizes my loneliness, bc my so called friends will spend a couple of hours hanging out with me, then they will go home to their partner, they person they have chosen and been chosen by, and i will go home to an empty apartment and be all alone. i dont really care for friendships anymore, i used to see it as a soothing balm to the wound, maybe not the proper treatment for it, but at least it could work as a bandaid. but now it just reminds me of how fucking unwanted i am. sure they might want to have some sort of semi closeness with me, but a mere friendship doesnt allow the closeness and intimacy i need and want. i will never be number 1, the first priority, the one and only, the one they'd do anything for, the one they wanna know better than everyone else, the one they want to spend alltheir time with, the one they're crazy about, to just a friend. it only reminds me that im never good enough or special or important enough to be chosen.
so i just dont care for friendships, they make me hollow and empty and make me feel lonely. because i wanna be so so close to someone. where we almost blend together. you dont do that with friends. u dont have sex and let eo see eachother completely naked - metaphorically - and vulnerable. u dont stay completely loyal and prioritize your friends. i want one person to pour everything into, share everything with. im tired and i dont care about spreading some shards, some splinters of me around widespread. and with how my brain works, how fucking disordered it is, i dont even have the energy to entertain and maintain several different friendships, none of them as deep and profound as i crave. i dont have that in me. i need one person to give it all to. i dont have the energy for more than that, it just doesnt work for me. i dont know. i used to think i wanted friends, and maybe i will get to a place again where i will be able to. maybe. idk anything. but really i cant see how i'd be able to have the energy to give a little bit of me to multiple people. that only makes me feel empty and lonely. i want smth with one person withno barriers between us. idc for anything else anymore i just dont. and thats why i feel so fucking lonely because im dying of thirst and everything that isnt what i want feels like nothing but drops of acid making me slowly fkn die lol
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Sorry bout this thing but I kinda wanted to tell my thoughts about your stuff. Im kind of hoping this will get drowned in your inbox honestly, since this is just a really long unsolicited rant of mine.
Sometimes when i scroll through your account and I encounter csa, incest and mentions of suicide in your posts I get uncomfortable but then I remember that one phrase that goes something like "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted" and I just feel kinda bad bout myself.
When I was a kid my nannys bf forced me to kiss him in the lips whenever we met. I was 6. It was uncomfortable. I never did tell my nanny about it. My parents are both police people and my mother had long explained the concept of rape and how unconsensual touch is bad and you shouldnt allow that but something prevented me from telling anyone what was happening. I dont know why. I know they would immiedietly jail that guy if they did but somehow it felt like no one would believe me. I never told them until now, then when I was what, 6-8 years old? I cant even remember. Yeah somewhere around that, he molested me when my nanny was few feet away and asleep and for the next 4 years of my life i felt dirty. Desecrated. Stupid. I couldnt even look down at my naked body when i shower back then, but somehow I managed to trudge on living by trying to forget the fact it happened. Its been 8 years since Ive last seen him. Ive told anyone who I knew who doesnt care enough to be friends with me but cared enough to listen about it but my Parents are none the wiser and i plan on keeping it that way.
Also. Im a year away from being legal now. Ive thought about killing myself or just generally not wanting to exist anymore many times since then, cuz lifes equipped with motolov cocktails of "get fucked dumbass" and i somehow managed to get a coupon for at least a million of them.
(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).
Coming back to the phrase i mentioned earlier, it feels weird whenever i feel something similar to the feeling of being triggered while looking at csa being depicted. By definition, i would be considered a victim, and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont. I see your art and it guts me. It guts me and the fact that it does also guts me, because what does that mean? I am supposed to be the comforted? Despite the fact that I was taken advantage of as a child and spent night after might thinking how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equiped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children? So i do I correspond more with those who are defined as comforted then, was i not disturbed after all? Was i victimizing myself all along? Am I a bad person for thinking i was? No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?
And then it repeats.
I still go through your blog because well, i love tmnt, i love your artstyle, i love the way you tell stories, I love how you dont sugar coat csa, incest and other darker topics like body horror, erotism and sadism, i hate how much it haunts me, i love the fact i can relate, i hate how much you hurt them, i love the fact that you dont hold back, i love how you show the ugly sides of healing, i love how you depict how much people can change and struggle. Its comforting to me. Its discomforting to me. I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.
And i like it. I like it somehow, like taking a nice smoke break when you have mild asthma, but like, better. Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.
But yeah. Tldr. Sorry for the trauma dump and your art makes me feel complicated. Its neat 👍
lot to reply to here! also, unfortunately for you, i check my inbox obsessively and dont get nearly as many asks as you seem to believe i do.
so firstly, no snappy saying is meant to encompass all of human experience, and you certainly shouldn't judge yourself for not fitting into it. easier said than done, i know, but still. i'm gonna try to address some things here, not gonna touch on all of it, but just know that i appreciate you sitting down to write me this.
(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).
it made me smile, but i laughed at this, because it's a very sweet look into you writing this. puts into perspective how, even though this is public, it was written TO me. like a letter in victorian times or something. that's sweet, i like that.
and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont.
you're making a lot of assumptions here that are kind of wild in that "this thought process was clearly designed by your mind to upset you specifically" sort of way. I mean, would you say this to literally anyone else when they feel uncomfortable or triggered about viewing media that relates to their trauma? There's really no telling what a survivor will feel comforted by and you aren't Doing It Wrong by having a different reaction.
there's a reason i tag it as "csa tw" and that's so people can AVOID it as well as search it up.
how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equipped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children?
i know you recognize at the end of the thought process that this is not true, but i feel the need to reiterate: there is no such thing as being less vulnerable than other children through your own actions. you can try to equip kids with knowledge that might protect them, but that doesn't make them any less vulnerable.
my dad told me about rape and molestation all the time, but he never accounted for the kinds of scenarios i was actually the most likely to fall victim to, partly because i don't think he actually knew much about childhood sexual abuse, and partly because he was more obsessed with the idea of me being kidnapped and raped/murdered than he was about forms of sexual abuse he'd consider more "mild"
No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?
i can't answer that one, unfortunately. personally, i like to feel gutted, it's cathartic to me. might be something like that to you, based on how you go on to describe it, but you might also be doing some kinda self harm.
I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.
saaaaame. i triggered myself into a breakdown in class once cuz i'd been reading fucked fanfiction before class and i got SAD lol.
Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.
we are shaking hands over this.
anywho, no need to apologize! i am glad, if nothing else, to provide you with a strange and upsetting experience that is not entirely bad.
I really do adore hearing how my stuff makes people feel. it's like, a solid one third of the reason i do this. i still make stuff that doesn't exist to be shown off but WOW showing shit off and getting a response feels FANTASTIC. like, i'm in your head now!! you have been CHANGED by my ART. it's maybe the best part of being alive.
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
hii! i need some help,,,
so basically back in febuary i started dating my best friend because we both liked eachother, but recently i started losing feelings, and they didnt really show affection or act any different (it was like we were still friends but we just called eachother our boyfriends), i felt like i wasnt ready for a relationship, and i overall felt like we were better off as just best friends. so in may(ish) i told them that i didnt want to be partners and i thought we were better as best friends. i thought they took it pretty well, we didnt talk for about a month until we started texting again. it felt pretty distant, we would say goodmorning and ask how we were doing, and say goodnight. i thought that everything would be okay. we just needed some time to ourselves. but last week i found their spotify playlist that said that they felt so bad and that they couldve been a better bf in the description. (it said more but you get the point) idk how to tell them but they didnt do anything wrong, if anything its my fault for getting into a relationship and then dipping because it "didnt feel right". i feel so awful. im so guilty. i didnt mean to hurt their feelings. i love them so much and it feels like theyre all i have left. i dont know what to do without them. im scared that they dont/wont like me anymore. what do i do???
a little unrelated but my two other friends just started dating and i know its bad but i feel a little jealous. i dont have anyone and now me and my best friend are the only single ones in our friend group. i lost my chance.
sorry for the rant. i dont know where else to vent :p
Hi!
Please read this very carefully: nobody did anything wrong, here.
You did exactly the right thing by leaving a relationship that you didn't feel right in! And your friend didn't do anything wrong, either!
You were very brave by communicating your feelings and breaking up with your friend. Now you need to do that again. Sit them down and explain they did nothing wrong and you just feel like you would be better as friends, but you really want to be friends, and they mean a lot to you. Be clear on that. I know it's scary, but I think they need to hear that. Communicating your love for them will help them know that you care about the friendship.
Also, you didn't lose your chance. THings can change and you'll have many more opportunities to date, don't worry <3
naming you chance anon!
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know the arknights community is like split on alters but i liked them. well i liked alters for lore reasons. when we started getting more popular charas or higher rarity ogs to alters i got a lil annoyed. i liked when it was lower rarities the 3s and 4s.
so i could tell you my thoughts on every alter and if i thought it was good or not but thats for another day. i will tell you why and what kind of alter i want for all the 3s minus the ones who got one. just 3s to 5s, nothing crazier than that!
fang: i dont read lore but isnt she missing in action?? give her an alter to bring her back!! traumatized and broken... happy to finally see her friends again ;-; since the 3s alters we have all keep their class (and type until hibiscus) she will still be a vanguard. probably keep the same class type but i feel like maybe agent could work too! i just wanna know what happened to her :(
vanilla: i want lore for her so bad bc i just like her voice and design!!! keeping her in vanguard class BUT i want her to be a tactician! her love of animals and she works for blacksteel so can she use a gun or smth?? tho i love her axe...fuck...maybe keep her class type then for the cool axe or like an upgraded cooler axe?
plume: WHY SHE LEAVE LATERANO??? PLS TELL US??? shes trying to learn to use her axe better so probably stays a vanguard charger... i just wanna know why she left :(
ansel: hes an intern rn!! i wanna see him become doctor!! and i think he should keep 1) his chance to heal an extra ally and 2) is range extension! hes so precious. still a normal medic, just literally a 5s ver.
steward: my soft spot for white haired anime boys continue bc steward (and his bf adnachiel :( ). i like his unique talent of targetting enemies with the highest def so he should keep that! core caster, but hear me out - mystic caster. i just want a winter themed mystic caster whos charges are snowflakes :)
adnachiel: so like i know he what cant use a gun anymore bc hes infected right? but also like he sounds like he wants to use a gun :( let him use a gun :( insider kinda has his "unique talent" so its less important if he keeps that but since he seems to be really curious about RI equipment and whatnot, sniper but like maybe a flinger :0 we need more flingers!!
orchid: shes actually SO pretty and her skin was insane so i just wanna see more of her?? i cant really see her as the other support classes besides idol but we have enough 5s idols (4s idol WHEN!!!!) so i think she can stay as is. tho i think summoner could be funny (we need a new summoner for the lower rarities me thinks) but thats just bc i wanna see like lil mannequins with her clothes designs.
melantha: more than anything i want a melantha alter bc i think she grows up to be an elegant and graceful beauty like vivi or whisperain and i just want that so bad. but also bc trusty melantha...i want her to grow into herself! gain confidence and i just think everyone would just like her ;-; probably still a dreadnought but i could see musha because like the confidence to stand on her own maybe or smth honestly? liberator bc 1) why is it only men so far and 2) trusting in her teammates and supporting them as they supported her
beagle: isnt she like dead or smth? make her not dead. similar to melantha i want her to believe in herself more. class change to juggernaut or duelist i think! or honestly, fully lean into her tenacity and make her tankier than youd ever really need an op to be.
cardigan: ngl i kinda found her voice annoying but that newest skin is ADORABLE. make her a healer defender, sorry "guardian" . support her friends.
catapult: hate her like everyone else bc why the fuck is her voiceline so long i wanna move on already. besides that, her design is really nice actually so id like to lean into that i think. probably keep the aoe sniper but i want her to place bombs like W s2 i think
midnight: make him sluttier. ranged guard but like full tits out, hes trying to fuck the doctor so bad.
popukar: LORE????????????????????????? SHE SOUNDS SO INTERESTING PLEASE GIB HER LORE??????????????? the only exception i want her to be a specialist dollkeeper i think. but jk no we stay within the guard class but i think a change state like luo xiaohei! between evil popukar and nice popukar. or like when she unleashes her cool eye power.
spot: i hate spot. sorry thats not productive but i like the grants phys evasion so maybe lean into that, keeping as a guardian as well.
that was a long post and i defo got lazy but!! i just wanted alters for the 3s :(
11 notes
·
View notes