#i feel like these posts get more annoying and corny and awful every time i post them
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okay i’m tired of all the drama and anxiety so I’m going to wax poetic about david and matteo and you’re just going to have to listen: i can’t get over their first kiss, because that scene was SO perfect for them. it’s an homage to the og but at the same time it understands and shows us that matteo and david are very, very different from isak and even.
with david and matteo, i sometimes wonder about what initially attracted them to each other and i think in a way they’re just.. kindred spirits. you know that feeling when you meet someone and things just… click? i think meeting each other, for both of them, just felt like everything slid into place, like things that were wrong were suddenly right. they just immediately understand each other - and I know this is SO corny and dramatic - like they are old souls who’ve been missing each other for so long but now they finally meet again. the good old “oh, there you are” kind of feeling. WHICH IS WHY I love that the kiss is not underwater. because their feelings for each other don’t swallow them up, they pull them both back to the surface. they set them free and make them breathe again. its not the “this hit me like a freight train and turned my whole world upside down” kind of love it’s the “nothing has ever felt this right, i feel like i can see clearly again and the fog is lifted, with you everything makes sense” kind of love (both different but good).
david and matteo have been a lot less rushed with each other and while there is A LOT of tension, especially in the first weeks, when they kiss they just… come home to each other. isak and even are a lil sloppy and frantic during their first kiss (this is NOT a drag, their scene is perfect for them and exactly how it should be, im just comparing my dudes) but matteo and david take their time with each other. I DON’T KNOW MAN just look at them it feels like they’re so familiar with each other?? before they get interrupted, they’re just standing there, pressing their foreheads together, breathing each other in and taking the moment in.
their emotional connection is so incredibly strong and it established itself almost immediately. matteo being vulnerable and opening up to david, and only david, when they first meet (i’m glad he’s ready to be vulnerable with others as well now but yknow what I mean), david showing him his sketchbook during their first hang-out, david recognizing matteo’s panic attack at the party and knowing exactly how to comfort him. then the pool scene – david notices that matteo goes nonverbal and a little spaced out but he knows how to pull him out of it (the way he slides under those pool divider things and locks eyes with matteo – WHEW) and engages him in his little game. then, matteo refuses to believe that david is actually not into him, because he KNOWS him and he knows it’s not true. and of course the way he talks about him: “we got along so well, everything was perfect, we were so close, i feel so understood.”
and when david finally shows up at his door, when he has every right to ask him a million questions, he sees him and he hugs him as tight as possible because he recognizes that this is what david needs. and sure, the scene is different because david is neither bipolar nor manic and he’s actually about to tell matteo his secret but it also, once again, establishes that it’s their emotional connection that is so incredibly strong that it keeps drawing them together. that doesn’t mean that there is no physical connection, there IS, we’ve all seen the way david looks at matteo like he wants to eat him lmfao. but what is truly incredible and unique about them is that they understand each other on such a deep level. they fit together like puzzle pieces, completely effortlessly, like they’ve known each other forever-
ok you know what FUCK IT this is way too long already IM JUST TRYING TO SAY THEY’RE SOULMATES OK THAT’S IT YOU CAN LEAVE NOW
#druck#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE`?#i feel like these posts get more annoying and corny and awful every time i post them#i just have a lot of FEELINGS ok#if any of you actually read this whole thing then idk whats wrong with you but thx for listening i guess
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buddie + laughter
(send me a word and a ship and I’ll give you a head canon)
Uhh so this turned into a ficlet?? I don't know what happened but there's dialogue in it and I putting it under a cut. It's angsty bc it's a post 4x14 recovery thing, but also very fluffy.
Buck first notices it a week after Eddie comes home from the hospital. He hasn't laughed. Not once. There have been a few smiles, a handful of chuckles. But he hasn't actually laughed. And Buck understands the trauma of it all, knows the nightmares that are keeping Eddie up at night and the anxiety that is thrumming under his skin at all times. He's been there, after a ladder truck exploded on him, after a tsunami tried to wash him away, and he's there again, if he's honest, after watching Eddie get shot right in front of him. So, he understands what Eddie is going through. The last thing he wants is to make Eddie feel like he has to act happier than he is--Eddie deserves space to process and feel his negative emotions.
But, the thing is. Buck loves Eddie's laugh. And even before the shooting, it was a rare thing to get a full, unguarded laugh from Eddie instead of a chuckle or a giggle. Buck prides himself on the fact that of all the people in the world, he's one of three people who can get that kind of laugh out of Eddie (the others being Christopher and Abuela), and he also just. Really misses the sound of Eddie's laugh. Not to mention the fact that Christopher has picked up on Eddie's mood and has himself been laughing less.
(If Buck is truly honest with himself, he's been laughing and smiling less, too. But this isn't about him.)
He decides he has to do something. He knows he can't make it obvious to Eddie what he's doing, so he focuses his energies on Christopher first. Everytime he sees Chris (which is often, since he's practically living on the Diaz couch for the time being) he makes sure to come prepared with a joke. Always cheesy and silly and almost impossible not to crack a smile at.
How do cows greet each other? They exchange milkshakes.
Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Knock Knock. Who's There? Tank. Tank Who? You're Welcome.
And it works. The jokes, silly as they are, do manage to elicit giggles from Christopher, and fond eye rolls from Eddie. Buck keeps at it, and after a couple of weeks, Christopher starts to have jokes of his own, many of which are at Buck or Eddie's expense. Buck decides he would be the butt of a thousand jokes to make Christopher and Eddie laugh. Some of the jokes they exchange even get a smile or a chuckle out of Eddie, much to Buck's delight.
Eddie's recovery progresses, physically and emotionally. He goes to the department mandated therapy, and then, to everyone's pleasant surprise, he decides to keep at it. Buck is there every step of the way with encouragement, and a few corny jokes. He's not sure when he moves from only targeting Christopher, to telling them to Eddie as well, but he knows that it helps.
When Eddie is frustrated with his physical therapy, angry and tired of fighting with own body, Buck cuts the tension with a "Knock knock. Who's There? Woo. Woo Who? Glad you're excited!" which Eddie begrudgingly goes along with. When Eddie is annoyed because he can't lift something/open something, Buck swoops in with a "need a hand, or maybe an arm?" and a wink. When Eddie emerges from his bedroom early in the morning with dark circles under his eyes, Buck nudges him and says "You should go back to bed. The early bird gets the worm, but the late worm doesn't get eaten." and every time Eddie rolls his eyes and shakes his head and bites his lip to keep from smiling. It's not a laugh, but it's something.
As the months go by Buck gets more and more of a reaction for his troubles. A lip bite turns into a half smile turns into a full smile turns into a grin turns into a snort turns into a chuckle. Eddie is clearly doing better, and so is Christopher, who has turned the whole thing into a competition to see if he or Buck is funnier. But Eddie still hasn't let out a full, deep, belly laugh since before the shooting. It makes Buck's heart ache because he knows Eddie only laughs like that when he is truly relaxed and unguarded, and knowing that Eddie hasn't been able to reach that level of calm in months, that he's been on edge this whole time? It's awful.
Finally, finally, a week before Eddie is supposed to start work again, it happens. Buck finally makes Eddie laugh. It's just...not on purpose. He's over for movie night, having moved back to his own apartment by that point. He gets up to refill the popcorn bowl and trips over something Christopher left on the floor. He falls, the plastic bowl goes in the air, and lands right on his head. Eddie just loses it.
"I'm sorry--" [laugh] "Are you--" [laugh] "--okay?"
Buck glowers. "Fine, thanks."
It's not until Buck's back on the couch, fresh bowl of popcorn in his lap, Eddie running his fingers through his hair checking for bumps (because, sure, Eddie likes slapstick, but he also has to be sure Buck isn't actually hurt), and Christopher asleep up against his dad, that it occurs to Buck. "You laughed!"
"Uh. Yeah?"
"No, I mean," Buck swallows. "You haven't laughed, since..."
"Since the shooting?" Eddie finishes. "Is that what all the jokes were about? You wanted to make me laugh?"
Buck shrugs. "I know it's been hard, and you're allowed to feel however you feel. But I just...I wanted to make you happy."
Eddie's hands are still in Buck's hair, and he turns Buck's head in his hands until Buck is facing him. "You always make me happy, Buck."
Buck can't even begin to respond to that.
"You're right, things have been difficult," he nods. "I've been on edge. But having you here? The way you've taken care of Christopher, taken care of me, for the past few months, it's not nothing. In fact," Eddie hesitates, taking a deep breath, for a second before pressing on. "Buck, it's everything. You're everything."
Buck feels like the wind has been knocked out of him, just like he always feels when Eddie says these deeply meaningful things to him. There's no one in this world I trust with my son more than you. You act like you're expendable, but you're wrong.
You're everything.
Buck swallows. Glances at the movie they're supposed to be watching. Glances down at Christopher. Finally, meets Eddie's eyes, gaze heavy with anticipation. "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"I love."
"I love who?"
"I love you."
#buddie#buddie drabble#buddie ficlet#I don't even know y'all#I just don't know#if you want to send me a word please do but know that this is not the usual response#this just...became insane
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Open Heart 3 Ch. 8 SPOILERS for Bryce/Raf/Jackie Stans
I know I'm one day late. Blame PB for releasing the scripts so late. Why they even did that? Idk. It's not like this chapter is good.
Oh, here we are again. Honestly guys? I'm pissed off lmao. And you will be too when you're done reading this. But enough talking, let's begin. Beware, spoilers below the cut
Let's start with Bryce
•He DOES make an appearance this chapter AND has a diamond scene. Should we celebrate? Nah. It seems the only options with characters who-are-not-Ethan in this book are not having appearances at all or having mediocre little plots when they do appear. He makes his cameo at the begging. He's in the lobby with a friend of his, who's sick and wants Bryce to operate on him but Bryce seems reluctant to do so because it's a dangerous surgery. Does it have anything to do with his failed surgery? We won't find out, because instead of his premium scene being about... idk, having a coffee while he tells us about the consequences of his mistakes (not only at work, but also mentally), it is about... visiting a Escape Room with him and his friend? Um, ok. Should I mention that Bryce's pal call MC his 'friend' twice? Yep, PB still refuses to acknowledge MC's relationship with Bryce, even though they've been together for two years and shared a tender moment when MC was about to die. When I was reading the scene, I was like "uuugh, let me guess? we get this corny funny scene and near the ending Bryce and MC find a hideout to make out". Turns out I was wrong lmao. I expect nothing and I'm still let down. They just share a little kiss I front of Bryce's friend when they are leaving the Escape Room. It is mentioned they all are gonna have dinner after this, but we don't get to see that because that would mean PB has to actually write interesting dialogue and develop Bryce and that's sacrilege.
Ok, Jackie's turn.
•She doesn't show up in this chapter. She's not even mentioned. Silly us, Jackie already had her crumbs of development last chapter, there's no need to give her more screentime this chapter lmao. Not when that screentime can be used developing Ethan.
And lastly, Raf.
•He turns up too, but it's a situation similar to Bryce's. He's rehabilitating a little boy who's sad because he will miss his birthday, so enter the bonus scene where MC has the idea of recruiting Sienna too and organizing a surprise party for the kid in the Pediatric Ward. It's actually a cute scene, and spending time with Sienna is always good, but that's the problem. The scene is about the little boy, zero Raf development or plot, and I even feel he wasn't even needed here. We know Sienna visits the PW every once in a while so they could've made her be the one who came to us with the little kid situation and everything would have turned out to be the same, except for some dialogues. Then, near the end, Raf and MC share some flirting words and a little kiss, but everything is in front of the kids, so it's over pretty quick.
And... that's it for our LIs. It sucks, but it's not the worst thing abour this chapter. I'm gonna leave some spoilers of the general plot here below so you can be as angry as me.
•MC confronts Ethan about the trial thing. You can choose to go soft on him or be outraged and point out he's a piece of shit. I recommend the second option. Anyway, if you end up agreeing with him about his decision, he says something like: "I knew you'd understand me, you care about these patients as much as I do" which, for me, given the fact he's older than MC and their boss (and being a victim of grooming myself by someone older than me and that was kinda in a position of power above me too) IS FUCKING GROOMING. If you had any doubts the lead of this book is a creep.
•Yadda yadda, we get Bryce and Raf's mediocre scenes, and back to the main plot, MC and Tobias have to diagnose a patient together. The patient is the most annoying character on this series, only below Ethan. Seriously, she's worse than that Nigel guy from Book 1 who called Bryce "Ken doll". Tobias is kinda shady with her (but... light and funny shady. He's never mean or anything) and we're supposed to be like "ugh, Tobias is the worst" but the patient is annoying so yeah, I loved Tobias' actitude.
•There were lots of Tobias moments this chapter, and he's honestly really nice. I hope we can keep him in Edenbrook. We could even kick Ethan's ass out in order to raise his salary❤.
•Ok, and now the cherry on top of a shitty chapter. Do y'all remember how we were afraid PB was gonna make Harper MC's rival? It seemed like they had dropped that plot and we were safe... but it turns out they haven't. Harper finds out our patient has cheated their way into the trial and while Tobias and MC are bonding in the DT' office, she comes in furious as hell, and starts blaming the MC and insulting them, assuming they're the one who did the trial thing. Harper' screams are so loud that Ramsey, who was in the hall, listens and comes in running. Harper explains what "MC" did and we have three options: blame Ethan, insist we're not guilty but not blame Ethan, and ignore the accusations. Either way, Harper keeps on with the accusations (she's even more enraged if you blame Ethan)
•Ethan lets her mop the floor with MC a bit more before stopping her and admitting he's the one who cheated. Harper is shocked and Ramsey HAS THE AUDACITY of angrily leave the office. He really thinks he's the one who should be outraged in this situation. He's the most childish character PB has ever created. (Props to Tobias for being the only decent character in this situation, asking Harper to calm down because she couldn't know for sure it MC was to blame in this situation).
•MC runs after him. And sure, irl I'd run after him too, but to confront him and complain about all the mess his shitty behavior has caused (or, how we say in my country, putearlo. I wanna clarify to my fellow Latinoamericans, "putear" has a different meaning in Ecuador than in the rest of Latam lmao for us is similar to "mandar a la verga" JAJSJAJAJSK). But no, MC fucking goes to see if he's alright. And cue to the most ridiculous scene in this series:
•Okay, I know we all made fun of the BDSM outfits when the assets came out, and yeah, they're cringey af, but I was curious to see how the story would develop towards these outfits. Everyone guessed they meant kinky time with out LIs. Wrong again. Ethan is so mad about... well, idk why he's so mad, he's just facing the consequences of his actions, but anyway, he needs to release that frustration and that's when we're offered the kinky outfit. Yep, the kinky scene is Ethan-exclusive. It was so fucking easy to include the other LIs in this. Bryce could be frustrated because he's not the same after his failed surgery, Jackie because she has to lead the interns and Jade keeps screwing up, and Raf... well, he should be mad because PB tried to kill him and then decided not to but kept sidelining him and can't even give him a decent storyline could be frustrated because it's exhausting to try to help the patients when they make little progress and become disappointed. PB just was lazy and didn't care.
•Don't ask me about the BDSM scene, nothing in this world will make me read a sex scene with Ethan. I kept scrolling until I was sure that abomination was over. Although I caught the word "safe word" somewhere there so... yeah.
•The next day after that heated discussion, MC enters the DT' office. Harper doesn't even offer an apology for treating MC like shit, she acts like nothing happened. MC notices there's this peace in the air and there's no whining, so they ask where's Ethan
•Turns out, Harper reported MC to their superiors when she thought it was them who messed up the trial and now Ethan had to turn himself in and is meeting with the board. Then, she blatantly admits that if she knew Ethan was the one who did it, she would have talked to him first. She says she regrets telling the board, although, as she doesn't offer MC an apology, it seems she only regrets getting Ethan in trouble, not her awful attitude. Tobias is named the new leader of the DT, and that's the only highlight in this mess of a chapter.
I have more thoughts about everything, but I'll post them tomorrow, when they can reach more people. And I'll catch up with this shitt book just so I can join the mob law tomorrow lmao. See you then.
#playchoices#choices#choices stories you play#open heart#open heart 3#open heart third year#oh 3#choices oh#bryce lahela#jackie varma#rafael aveiro
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5x03 The Death Song of Uther Pendragon
Arthur went out to collect firewood while Merlin watched over the dying lady 🥺
They saved a woman from being burned at the stake for sorcery and she repays them with a super powerful magic artifact
"He's always like this at the anniversary of his coronation."
"I thought it was a cause for celebration?"
"It is, but it's also the anniversary of Uther's death."
I would like to refer everyone back to my 4x03 post where I point out that Uther was stabbed on Arthur's birthday, which is also the anniversary of his mother's death. Uther would've died a day or two later. So within the span of let's say, half a week, Arthur's got his birthday, his mother's death anniversary, his father's death anniversary, and his coronation. He needs a hug. It's gotta be the hardest week of the year for him, every year. Speaking from personal experience, I know I wouldn't be anywhere near as upright as Arthur is, for all his thousand yard staring.
It's a very nice sarcophagus but what is going on with Uther's left leg?
No srsly wut is this
Is it reeeeally swollen? Did he break his ankle in the fight or perhaps when he fell?
Ok I'll stop being mean
The ONE time Merlin knocks
You think this was a sex thing? I think it might've been a sex thing.
Spirit!Uther, while traumatizing in his own right, still isn't as frightening as actual King Uther could be.
Oooof I have Things To Say™️ about this. The reason Arthur chooses to use the horn, to use magic, is because, "there isn't a day that goes by when I don't think of the thing I wish I'd said to him." But when he gets to speak to Uther, he doesn't actually get to say very much at all, because Uther immediately begins criticizing everything he's done as king. Arthur doesn't get what he sought at all, instead of an opportunity to tell his father any of the things he wished to say, he gets spoken to, harshly criticized. It's a major blow. And he says as much, when the single man tear spills over and he says "this can't be the last time I ever see you" - yes the line is foreshadowing Uther's haunting of Camelot but it's also signaling that Arthur's been traumatized; he went from having had his father mortally wounded in saving Arthur's own life, to having seen his father 3+ years into Arthur's rule as King of Camelot, and point blank being told Uther is disappointed in him. Not proud of him - actively un-proud. We don't really know what exactly Arthur wanted, if he'd hoped his father would've seen all the good his way of ruling had done and praised him, but I think it's pretty safe to assume that was on the wish list.
Be careful what you wish for indeed.
I AMUSE MYSELF. (I spent two hours figuring out how to create this please appreciate me)
Merlin's angry face when Arthur tells goin what Uther said is literally all of us.
I feel terrible for this but when Percival is leaving Gaius' chambers and he stops to look at the wall-torch, I immediately flash backed to Alice Troughton on commentary in S4 saying "Percival's a bit of a wuss isn't he?"
This is also awful but this episode kind of makes me miss the castle-centric contained episodes of S1
Never any guards around when you're being attacked by the ghost of your husband's dead dad, typical.
I understand Merlin bringing Guinevere to Gaius but putting her in Merlin's bed??????
The way Bradley and Colin both convincingly jumped when they turned around and found Gaius had snuck up right behind them kills me every time.
"Poetry". What he means to say there is, 'why didn't you just tell him we were fucking, since that would actually sound less gay'
So. Merlin took the ghost visibility potion but he can't see Utter knocking over barrels and shelves and things to trap in that store room.
Also why is there a pigeon in a windowless store room? Now I'm wondering why there aren't more birds randomly flying into the citadel, cuz they do have quite a lot of open windows... you'd think that might happen now and again.
Mmmmmmmm
Hmmmmmmm
Ooooof I love a bamf husband coming through to deal with a shit-for-brains abusive father... ghost.
^^actual canon scene
Was Tony shot entirely on green for this? That unearthly blue glow even in close ups where he doesn't look like he's on a green scene makes me wonder.
The 'horseplay' scene at the end was so full of sexual tension and d/s undertones that I literally do not want to say anything lest tumblr flag this post for content.
Commentary is Angel and Rupert. The two regulars who were in the least number of scenes in this ep. Since this post is already crazy long I'll keep this brief.
Aaaaand it's the first time either of them have seen this episode 😂 wow.
They've made 'horn' jokes and Rupert's gone full on tongue in cheek dad jokes.
They are also cracking jokes on Colin being all jacked up for S5 compared to previously when he was so skinny hehe... personally I ain't mad at him 😂
Fifteen minutes into the episode and Leon makes his first appearance
The little bottles and decor things in Gaius' chambers are part of a static set so they pretty much just sit there... Angel says that some of the contents have started to go moldy and they found maggots in one of them 🤢
They're talking about Gwen's new hair and while Angel is being really diplomatic, I get the impression she's as annoyed as I am by it. It literally doesn't match her own hair at all. But she also said some people saw her without the piece on and just said 'omg you cut your hair' so I guess 🤷♀️
The scene where Gwen is knocked out by a vase smashing her head - Angel says she was hit with the heavier bottom piece of it, which hurt more than she was expecting, and she wound up with a bump on her head from it.
Not a word about Colin picking up Angel ��
They're talking about childhood pets and a beverage called lilt? Anyway Angel is really clever and Rupert's corny af but he's funny and I love them both.
Oh this is interesting: Rupert says he and the director talked about having Leon walking through the corridor hand in hand with the cook when he stumbles upon Merlin and Arthur's 'poetry lesson', but they weren't allowed to do that bc it would've been just a little bit too much, or a little too tongue in cheek. Which I'm taking to mean, would've accentuated the subtext of 'poetry' too much.
Angel and Rupert didn't know how they got Uther all glowy either, though Angel said it was probably lighting
Rupert says the line where Utter got caught off, what he was gonna say was "Merlin has ... been to the gym!" 😂😂😂😂😂
They really are great together doing these things
Rupert's story was the horse he had been riding all season had a foal, and nobody even knew she'd been pregnant. They just came out one morning and saw she'd given birth, and he got a call to inform him. That's kind of sweet. I wonder if he sent them some apples or something.
#bbc merlin#bbc merlin spoilers#merlin#merlin spoilers#merthur#onceandfuturerewatch#5x03#5x03 the death song of uther pendragon#bbc merlin 5x03#merlin 5x03#the death song of uther pendragon
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Cold Nights and Coffee
authors note: The feeling is warmth on a cold night with a nice cup of feelings and a shot of trouble. or alternatively; Moon Taeil is whipped
Reader x Barista/Bartender Taeil, best friends Ten and Johnny and cutie Mark
Originally posted: sometime in December of 2018 woops, it’s also posted on my ao3
word count: 4,480
warnings: alcohol, some dirty dancing, a little jealousy~, slightly suggestive, reader flat out falls on her ass and Ten’s annoying af lol
You regretted taking the chance on taking the last train back home. You were cold, sore, and really really tired. You had an exam in sociology soon and decided that studying with your friends who already took the course would be a great idea. Of course, you didn’t account for the fact that they were several train stops away from your campus and there really wasn’t much studying that got done (but there was a lot of eating, and laughing, and just about everything but studying.) You had just slipped on some ice a few minutes ago and honestly just wanted to crawl into bed and cry a little after a warm meal.
You were at least another twenty minutes from home on foot and the sign for Nouveau Café was looking very inviting. It was one of your favorite places on campus, they had great coffee, decently reliable wifi, some of the most handsome guys you’d ever seen worked there, oh and they were open twenty-four hours. Not that you were into appearances like that but they were all undeniably attractive in a way that was extremely befitting for internet cafe workers. Everyone on campus knew about NCT, Nouveau Cafe Team members were notorious for being attractive, intelligent, and great at customer service. Some things you were greatly craving right about now.
The tinkling of the bells over the door signals your arrival inside and the smell of coffee and the feel of warm air instantly makes you relax. In the back of your mind you know it looks strange to be standing right in front of the threshold with eyes closed but you can’t bring yourself to care too much. Until he says something to you of course.
“Long night?” The man behind the counter smiles at you, he always does and you can hear it in his voice as you hum.
“The longest, please give me something to make it worth it.” You finally open your eyes to give him a response and he chuckles at you.
“Wrong job for that right now, but I’ll see what I can do.” He says it with a smirk on his face and you raise a brow at him as if asking for him to elaborate but he turns from you to start on your order.
“Hey, you don’t usually work so late. What happened to Ten?” You tilt your head at his back and he stops briefly to look back at you then continues as if you hadn’t said anything. Fair enough, that question was probably pretty rude anyway.
You slip into a stool at the countertop and groan at the dull ache on your left side. You weren’t going to be able to walk well tomorrow.
“I’m disappointed, you don’t want to see me?” He asks jokingly but you can see the earnestness in his eyes as he sets down a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and a warm muffin in front of you.
“Maybe I just wanted to bother my friend, don’t be too jealous.” You stick your tongue out at him before reaching for your muffin. You look around the establishment as you take a bite and note that it’s just as dead as you thought it’d be at 1am on a Wednesday. “Doesn’t it get boring being here all alone?”
“Not really, I’ve got you to keep me company for the time being.” He laughs as you wrinkle your nose up at his corniness. “I’m joking, mostly. I’ve been doing that Soc study guide that’s due on Monday.”
“Shit Taeil, it’s due Monday?!” You nearly choke on the cocoa you were trying to gulp down in order to question him. You hope he’s joking but he just nods and you groan with frustration. You knew you were forgetting something.
“Aw cheer up, how about I make you another hot chocolate and you can give me your email so I can send you what I have so far. We can even study together if you want to.” You thank the heavens for Moon Taeil, he wasn’t really a friend but he sat a few seats away from you in Sociology and always made your coffee just like you liked it so he was always in your good books. This just earned him a thousand more points.
“Seriously?! You’re a lifesaver! Thank you!” You beam at him and take another large gulp of your drink the warmth of it finally seeping into your fingertips.
“No problem! I’ll make the hot cocoa to go for you so you can stay awake on the drive back.” You tilt your head at his statement.
“I didn’t drive here, I walked. Part of the reason I look like hell probably.” You grumble the last part to yourself and roll your shoulder wincing slightly at the deep tug in your muscles.
“You walked...in the cold...at 1 am...when there’s snow outside?” He seemed completely mystified at the idea, it even sounded idiotic to you when he said it like that.
“Actually it’s all ice now, had to learn that the hard way.” You pout and take another bite from your muffin that was starting to get cold. His eyes widen a fraction and he leans closer to you.
“Are you hurt?! I can’t believe you fell on ice!” He sounds so concerned it makes you stop munching and swallow dryly.
“Just my pride mostly, it’s nothing I can’t handle. Don’t worry about it, really.” The fact he was so worried even though he barely knew you were extremely endearing to you.
“Well, I can’t let you walk back, at least not alone. My shift ends in like twenty minutes, I’ll take you back.”
This was now a little less endearing, extremely kind and suspiciously so. You weren’t very inclined to trusting strangers with taking you home. Granted, Taeil wasn’t exactly a complete stranger you couldn’t really say you knew him very well either. He could very well be a serial killer and you wouldn’t know it. Peeking another look at him over the edge of your mug you weigh the pros and cons of your situation. On one hand, he was offering a free ride or at least free company on the walk back, he was trustworthy enough to go off of what Ten’s said about him, he was extremely attractive, and he was going to make you a free drink. On the other hand, as good looking as he was you didn’t know him too well, Ten doesn’t really have the soundest of judgment, and he could very well be trying to kill you.
“You don’t need to feel pressured, honestly. But think about it okay?” He gives you a small smile that makes your heartbeat quicken and then goes back to scribbling in a notebook, probably doing the rest of the study guide you think.
No one else pops in for twenty minutes save for the next employee and you don’t go anywhere. Taeil places your cup of cocoa down on the counter and when you reach for your wallet to pay he shakes his head at you.
“No need, I already paid for it. Besides you really needed it.” His smile looks so genuine and you could already feel the sleep set in fifteen minutes ago, at least that’s what you tell yourself to feel better about what you say next.
“Okay, you’ve convinced me. I’ll let you take me home but just to let you know if you try to kill me I have very strong lungs and can scream very loud.” Your comment makes him (and his coworker) giggle but he nods anyway.
“Okay, I’ll see you later Taeyong.” He waves at the man that takes his place behind the counter and then turns to you. “Ready?”
When you nod he smiles softly and leads you out into the cold, tinkling of the bells above the door signaling your departure.
***
“So you’re coming out with us yeah?” It had currently been a whole week since the last time you set foot in Nouveau Café and you were really about to punch Ten in the throat if he didn’t stop talking to you before you got a cup of your nightly coffee.
Ten was for some reason over the moon about the fact that Taeil drove you home that night and that the two of you essentially studied the entire weekend together when the two if you weren’t working. He had said something about it being fate that he called out from work to practice for his dance midterm but the thought of something like fate made your stomach turn.
“Oh come on! How can you say no to this handsome face?” Ten pouts at you and it takes everything for you not to actually kick him in the shins.
“Why do you even want me to go out so bad? It’s not like you don’t see me every day.” You move your head to try to see the front of the line wondering why the hell it was taking so long. The cafe was never so busy at 8:45 on a Wednesday night before and you were starting to get impatient.
“First of all, this is the first time I’m seeing you face to face in two weeks.” He frowns at you and you look at him in shock. Had it really been so long since you’d seen him? “And second, it’s not just me. Mark and Johnny miss you too! Maybe even Jaehyun.”
“Jaehyun wouldn’t miss me if I was the last person on Earth and he hadn’t spoken to anyone in two years.” You groan and move up in the line, finally, it was moving. You weren’t usually so agitated but you were pretty sure you were going through some sort of coffee withdrawal.
“Touché, speaking of which I would really like to know what’s up with that.” He stops for a second to think about it then shakes his head as if coming back to the task at hand; annoying the hell out of you until you caved. “Anyway, Mark and Johnny miss you too and you definitely need a drink.”
“Yes, I need a drink of this coffee and- oh hi Taeil.” As soon as you see him all the tension leaves your body and you even offer him a small smile. Ten gawfs at you and folds his arms, clearly a little offended your attitude changed so tremendously.
“Hey, the usual right? My shift ends in a few minutes but I’ll make it for you. Jungwoo can you take the next customer?” Taeil gestures for you to move to the side and Ten lets out a sound.
“Hey lovebirds, I’m here too you know. What if I wanted a coffee?” He says it with a mocking pout so you pinch his cheeks with a roll of your eyes. The scene makes Taeil laugh.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make you the usual too. Thai tea right?” When Ten flashes him a smile and nods Taeil turns around to quickly start on the order.
“Ten you don’t even like coffee.” You give him a side-eye and he pouts again but this time for real.
“I like coffee! I just hate fruits.” He takes a straw from out of the dispenser and boops you on the nose with it.
“Literally how could I possibly forget how much you hate fruits? You’re always telling us! Also, how do you hate fruits but like fruit-flavored things? It makes literally no sense. You probably taste like-”
“Honey!” You have to blink twice at his outburst.
“You do not taste like honey and this is not a conversation we should be having in public.” You look around at the people in line and Taeil’s coworker but it doesn’t seem like anyone has heard anything.
“Here you go.” Before Ten can even point out that you were the one to bring it up Taeil sets your drinks down.
“How much is it?” Ten takes the words right out of your mouth and hands his card to Taeil.
“Ten why are you-”
“Now you have to come out.” He smirks at you taking back his card and grabbing your drinks. With a wink, he turns on his heel and you swear you could strangle him.
“Thanks, Taeil, now if you excuse me I have a friend to go beat up.” He shakes his head at you giving you another laugh.
“You better hurry, I hear his bones are made of liquid.”
****
“Literally why did I let you drag me here?” You were not here for it, not the tight clothes Ten made you wear, not the loud music, or the sweat of all the people around you. You really hated clubs.
“We’ve been here for all of five minutes. Besides Johnny and I are gonna by your drinks all night.” He had a good point, as much as you hated the overall ambiance you weren’t really giving the club much a chance. Plus free drinks were always a good thing, you’d been getting lucky lately in that department.
When you see the top of Johnny’s head Ten all but drags you in that direction, politely but forcefully pushing people out of the way with his body. Did there have to be so many people? It just turned 12 am for God Sake.
“Hey, cutie! Haven’t seen you in like a month.” Johnny leans down to give you a hug and you can’t do anything but smile. Of all your guy friends he was probably the one that made you feel the most comfortable.
“I haven’t seen them in like two. Move over.” Mark pushes Johnny away from you playfully and it makes you laugh so you give him an extra squeeze.
“That’s because she’s been too busy ogling over her new-” You elbow Ten in the arm before he can finish his sentence and smile at his wince. Payback for him cutting you off twice earlier.
“He’s talking out of his ass. I’ve just been busy and Sociology has been kicking my ass. If it weren’t for Taeil I’d probably be crying into a glass of cheap wine right now.” Johnny thinks this is funny and grabs a jello shot off of the table to hand to you.
“Ten said you needed some destressing. So, let's destress.” You lift the shot to your lips at his words and finally let loose a little.
Or maybe after five more jello shots, you had let loose a lot. You're sure it’s been at least two hours since you got to the club and all the dancing you’ve been doing with the guys has made the alcohol start to wear off. You tug on Johnny’s shirt and he follows you to the bar helping you to sit in the stool.
“Hey Taeil, whatever she wants just put it on my tab.” The mention of his name has you perking up in your seat and looking up to find him staring down at you with a bemused look. He looked damn good in his bartender outfit almost better than his barista uniform and it made your palms a little sweaty.
“Are you following me?” The alcohol had surely muddled your brain. You didn’t just say that out loud right? The laugh from Johnny assures you that you had just said that out loud and you groan.
“Wait let me try that again. You work here too?” Johnny mutters a smooth under his breath and if you were a little more alert you probably would’ve hit him.
“Yeah, I work here too.” Is Taeil’s reply and he’s laughing again and you really wish you would stop giving him a reason to laugh. “So what will it be gorgeous? Or should I just surprise you?”
“That was the corniest shit you’ve ever said to me ever.” He’s laughing again and Johnny just shakes his head at you. He knew you were bad at flirting but he thought he taught you a little better than this.
“Surprise it is then. I’ve got something I think you’ll like.” Taeil winks at you and you're sure your heart stops beating for a second.
“Okay, you’ve gotta get better at this. Do you need some help?” Johnny yell-whispers at you when Taeil turns his back to make your drink. Had he always had such nice back muscles?
“Help? How?” You tear your gaze away from Taeil for a second to look at Johnny who’s giving you the same smirk Ten did earlier in the café.
“Make him jealous, how else?” Johnny says it like it should be as plain as day to you and maybe it should but you weren’t exactly sure that Taeil was attracted to you. Guys flirt for fun all the time, right?
Johnny notices your apprehension and gives you a reassuring smile. “He’ll be jealous, I promise.” Then he’s on his phone texting someone so you go decide to concentrate on counting how many colored glasses there are on the wall. Six blue, five purple-
“Hey! Getting drinks without us?” Ten slides an arm around your waist and that's when Taeil turns around to set down your drink. It's pretty and looks good but you’re a little wary of trying out new alcohol.
“It’s called Golden Roots. Figured you might want something a bit fruity.” You trust him, the bartender probably knows best. So you raise the glass and take a sip.
“Holy shit that's good.” You close your eyes at the taste of pineapples and lemons. When you open them the boys are watching you so you hold the straw up to Johnny’s mouth. “You try, it's really good.”
He dips his head down to take a sip and lets out a sound of approval. Johnny turns his head to you and licks his lips but you think nothing of it and turn your attention back to Taeil. There's a flicker in Taeil’s eyes you notice and he shifts on his feet.
“How did you make it? Can you teach me?” You ask him but his eyes seem to be more trained on the arm around your waist you’re sure Ten seems to forget about because he’s having some conversation with Mark about how to say things in Thai.
“He can teach you later, I like this song. Let’s go dance?” Johnny takes the drink out your hand and places it down in front of Ten who stops for a second to give him a look. When Johnny nods at him he takes his arm from around your waist and goes back to talking to Mark.
“Okay, if you really want to.” You give in to his request with a simple shrug and he whisks you away. It’s not too far from the bar you have the perfect view of Taeil as he serves some other patrons actually but your more focused on the heat of Johnny’s body behind you.
Johnny’s hands and touches are a little more aggressive than they were at the beginning of the night and he’s grinding more on you then he ever has but you just chalk it up to the alcohol. It’s not like the two of you haven’t gotten drunk and done this before, it just feels a little different this time. But Johnny is a really good dancer and he easily pulls you into his world. The beat of the music is fast and it thrums through your veins just as hot as you feel. Your clothes are sticking to your body again and when you open your eyes you make direct eye contact with Taeil.
His jaw is set and it looks like Ten is saying something to him but he doesn't answer. Just watches you even as you give him a small wave. It confuses you a little but then Johnny is tugging on your chin to look at him and you have to look away.
“I told you I could make him jealous cutie.” Johnny has to lean down to say it in your ear and it takes you a second to process it.
“He doesn’t look jealous to me John, just tired and maybe a little annoyed because of Ten.” Johnny rolls his eyes at you then spins you around so your ass is pressed against his groin. It’s much closer than you’re used to with him and it makes your body feel just a little bit hotter.
“I bet after this you’ll definitely see it.” As if in time with his words the music changes to something much more sensual and it has your body melding to Johnny’s in a way that must look positively sinful.
It feels like an eternity that you and Johnny are out on the dance floor dirty dancing so when you sit back up on the bar you’re more than thankful for the ice that somehow still remains in your drink from earlier. Taeil has disappeared somewhere and the crowd is starting to thin as the early morning hours approach much quicker. You grab at Mark’s phone to take a look at the time and note that it’s nearing 5 am and you’re thankful you don’t have class later.
“Hey, guys I’m getting kind of tired. I think I’m gonna call it a night.” You’re a little disappointed that Taeil left before you could say goodbye but it’s been ten minutes and the only person tending the bar is some guy named Yuta who gave you a glass of cold water when Johnny asked him to. He’s nice and certainly attractive but he’s no Taeil.
“Let me take you home then?” Taeil’s voice makes you whip around startling you at how unhappy it sounds.
“Yeah, okay.”
***
It’s just as cold as it was last week when you fell on ice and your body is feeling just as sore too. Taeil deposited his jacket on your shoulders as the two of you walked to his car and he turned the heat all the way up but it didn’t retract at all to the coldness you felt. You weren’t really sure why but you felt like you’d done something wrong.
Taeil wasn’t talking much save for asking if you need more or less heat and if you were hungry or not. Even though you said no your stomach still growls so he pulled into a drive-through to get you some warm food to eat. His actions are warm but you still feel uncomfortable.
“Hey, are you okay? You’re probably really tired right? I can't believe you work at the bar too.” Taeil doesn't answer you for a second and then he sighs.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired, that’s all.” You were hoping his words would make you feel a little less tense but they seem to do the opposite.
“Did I do something wrong?” You take a peek at him from your side in the passenger seat and you confirm he looks just as tired as he says he does. But he’s still just as pretty and looking at him makes your heart flutter.
“No, it’s not you at all. It’s just me being stupid.” He speaks with a somber tone that makes you pout.
“Moon Taeil you are not stupid.” You huff at him and he pulls up to your apartment with a grunt.
“Listen, can I talk to you before you go inside?” He seems a little nervous but less tired so you turn to him with a smile his jacket falling off your shoulders a little. His gaze wanders down for half a second before he chews on his lip.
“You can say whatever you want to me Taeil. You could probably curse me out and I’d probably tell you you were right.” You try to lighten the moon with a laugh but he runs a hand through his hair and sighs.
“Can you just be quiet for a second?” He glares at you and it makes you frown but you nod anyway. This causes him to groan again and then he’s leaning on the console that's dividing the two of you.
“No that came out wrong, I don’t want you to stop talking I just...I like you. A lot.” He reaches out towards you then draws his hand back as if he had touched something hot. “I had no idea you and Johnny were a thing before I started flirting with you. I wouldn’t have if I had known that.”
“I-what?” He wasn’t making any sense at all. “Johnny and I aren’t dating? Wait you were flirting with me?!”
Taeil takes a second to look at you before he starts laughing. He’s laughing so hard that his eyes crinkle and a tear rolls down his cheek. You aren’t sure what’s so funny but seeing him so mirthful makes you smile wide too.
“Ten told me you were oblivious but I had no idea it was this bad! I’m sorry it’s just, I’ve been flirting with you since the beginning of the semester.” He’s shaking his head at you again looking at you as if you have stars dancing around your head.
This time when he reaches for you he tugs his jacket back over your shoulders and smiles.
“Let me show you what I mean.” And then he’s kissing you. It’s soft and warm and he tastes like mint. There’s something so casual and comfortable about the way he kisses you but it still manages to take your breath with him when he pulls away. “Do you get it now?”
“I-no not really. I mean I knew you were flirting but I didn’t know you were serious and why did you even think I was dating Johnny? I mean I know we’re close but-” He’s kissing you again this time a bit more firm and it shuts you up or it leaves you gasping like a fish rather.
“Remember when I said I was just being stupid? To be fair though, you were dancing pretty close.” He leans forward more to nuzzle his face into your neck before whispering in your ear. “But if you say yes to being my girlfriend he can’t touch you anymore.”
“But what if I want to give him a hug?” His whispers leave you breathless but the kisses on your neck leave you wanting just a tad more.
“A hug is fine, no dancing.” He runs a hand up the other side of your neck and traces along your bottom lip with his thumb.
“But what if-”
“Shhhh, what did I say about talking?”
“Actually you said you didn’t mean it.” He groans at you and pulls away completely.
“Okay okay! I’ll be quiet,” He turns to look at you then. “But only if you make me.”
“That can be arranged.”
#nct scenarios#taeil x reader#taeil scenarios#taeil fluff#taeil angst#nct fluff#nct angst#kpop scenarios#kpop fluff
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discord II text Roman & Aaron
Discord thread featuring: Aaron and @romanbeckett
Mentions: @wtf-eden @davieslandon @jayceelynd
Where: Aaron in Paris (with Eden) and Roman is in NYC
When: June 12th in New York, June 13th in Paris
Description: After Landon texts Aaron that Roman is upset upon seeing Eden’s IG post, Aaron reaches out to Roman to check on him
Trigger Warnings: pain, brief sexting
Aaron.
are you okay
Roman.
why?
Aaron.
I just...
am making sure
Roman.
I'm ok
Aaron.
I don’t believe you
Roman.
lol it doesn't matter
Aaron.
it does to me
Roman.
I'm just trying to let you go like you told me I needed to.
Aaron.
I can’t do anything right
im trying not to hurt you
but I’m also trying not to hurt Landon Jaycee and Eden at the same time
Roman.
I understand
I’m not mad
you don’t have to worry about me
Aaron.
I think about you all the time
so I can’t not worry
Roman.
I think about you too.
all the time.
Aaron.
what are we doing
Roman.
if you find out, let me know.
Aaron.
what do you want from this
like for us
Roman.
does it matter?
Eden’s post made it seem like you all were having the time of your lives
I don’t want to ruin that.
Aaron.
im not
it does matter
Ro id drop everything for you
Roman.
You would?
Aaron.
yes
Roman.
Aaron, are you sure? I need you to promise me that you’re sure.
Aaron.
I love you
Roman.
I love you, too. I’m taking Jaycee to Naples for a breather. I’m going to have a talk with her.
which I was gonna do regardless.
I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I’m starting to realize that I don’t know who I am anymore without you.
Aaron.
Roman
fuck I love you
Roman.
I was trying so hard to be okay with you and eden I swear lol but when she posted that picture from Paris I LOST IT
I’m dramatic as shit lol
Aaron.
lol yes you are and that’s one of the many things I love about you.
im sorry it upset you
Roman.
it’s okay, I’m just a jealous bitch lol
Aaron.
lol
is it bad I’m kinda happy you get jealous when it comes to me?
Roman.
No, I’m not surprised. You’re an asshole
Aaron.
an asshole that you’re in love with
Roman.
You’re correct.
I miss your chin dimple
Aaron.
I miss your dimples too
and your fckn hair
Roman.
Aaron.
there they are
Roman.
FUCK
Marry me right fucking now lol
Aaron.
*side eye emoji*
Roman.
you’re so bloody FIT
Aaron.
”bloody fit”
I love being complimented in British
Roman.
*annoyed emoji*
Aaron.
its a good thing!
Roman.
Give me more pictures dammit lol
OH did you see the new rocketman photos?
Aaron.
show me!!!
Roman.
FUCK GOD DAMMIT SHIT DAMN HELL!!!
Jesus CHRIST on a fucking CRACKER
AaronBOTYesterday at 8:43 PM
current Paris status
Roman.
AARON
Aaron.
*pleading face emoji*
Roman.
I’m so pissed that I’m not there lol
taking off that robe
Aaron.
im sorry
ooo
me too
Roman.
You’re so damn hot.
feathers galore
Aaron.
omg
YOU’RE so damn hot
I can’t wait to see you preform
Roman.
I’m nervous, but really fucking excited.
Aaron.
you’re gonna be so amazing
Roman.
I hope so. I’ve busted my arse lol!
Aaron.
yeah and I love that arse of yours
Roman.
what if...it was all yours?
Aaron.
do you think that’s possible?
Roman.
anything is possible.
Aaron.
#corny
Roman.
Aaron.
taking it back to my childhood
Roman.
THOUGH HOPE IS FRAIL, IT’S HARD TO KILLLLLLLL
WHO KNOWS WHAT MIRACLES YOU CAN ACHIEVE, WHEN YOU BELIIIIIEVE, SOMEHOW YOU WILLLLLLL - YOU WILL WHEN YOUUU BELIEEEEVE
Aaron.
ahahaha
its a bop
Roman.
have I convinced you yet?
Aaron.
you may have to send more memes
Roman.
I’ll let you get some sleep
Aaron.
its really late here
but I stayed up to talk to you
Roman.
:(
Aaron.
but I SHOULD sleep
I’d just rather talk to you
Roman.
I’d rather talk to you than do a lot of things.
Aaron.
same
Roman.
I miss kissing you
feels like it’s been so damn long
Aaron.
Its been ages
well like a week
but it’s felt like ages
Roman.
it’s been more than that
maybe like...two
Aaron.
lets be honest I want to kiss you like 24/7
damn that night was two weeks ago now?
Roman.
Yep
Aaron.
I think about it all the time
I wish I made some different decisions that might
Roman.
What would you have done
Aaron.
well I wouldn’t have solidified things with Eden
wouldn’t have fought with Harry
but I would’ve still told you I loved you
that I wouldn’t change
Roman.
you asked me before what I wanted from this. What do YOU want?
Aaron.
I’ve wanted to be with you since I spilled coffee on your shoes but I just realized that at the pride party. Ali suggested I be alone for a little bit which might be something I need but I want to be your fucking boyfriend Ro
Roman.
Oh babe...
Aaron.
and wake up next to you every damn day
I know...it probs won’t happen I’m sorry
Roman.
I want that, too.
Aaron.
and I know don’t like monogamy
ooo???
really??
Roman.
it’s not that I don’t like monogamy. I just...after Landon, I was scared to get hurt again. And I guess I’ve been fooling myself into thinking I couldn’t be with just one person again, and risk getting hurt like that.
Aaron.
I get that
I can’t promise I won’t hurt you....I never want to hurt you but I’ve been breaking a lot of promises lately
Roman.
neither one of us can make those promises. But choosing to be together means you’re willing to take those risks.
Aaron.
landon would also kill me if I hurt you which is another reason I don’t want to do that lol
Roman.
if I were him, I’d want you to hurt me lol
fell in love with his best friend.
Aaron.
I know
im afraid my friendship with him will never be the same
Roman.
I don’t want to come between that
Aaron.
I know but I want to be with you so bad...part of me doesn’t care anymore. I know that’s an awful thing to say....And I know he will eventually be okay with it...eventually
Roman.
I feel the same way.
Aaron.
really?
Roman.
yes. Really. I’m fucking miserable without you, and I don’t care if we have to keep it under wraps for awhile until the smoke clears, it’s worth it. I want you. I don’t like thinking about you being with anyone else.
Aaron.
shit
me too
like I said I’d do anything for you
Roman.
we can say we just want to be a single for a bit
but
I just want to be with you
Aaron.
me too
Roman.
:)
Aaron.
I wasn’t expecting this
but I’m happy
Roman.
I was t expecting this either lol
wasn’t**
Aaron.
I need to sleep but I can’t
Roman.
I wish you were holding me.
Aaron.
I wanna kiss you so bad
Roman.
just kiss hm??
Aaron.
oh okay I see where this is going
I wish your wholeee dick was in my mouth
better?
Roman.
damn. Yeah, actually
Aaron.
hehe you’re welcome
im still so tired
I haven’t slept and the birds are chirping
Roman.
shit. go to bed babe
Aaron.
okay babe
I love you
Roman.
I love you.
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Hi anon!! ☀️ it’s so nice to hear from you!! And how flattering that you came to me to vent 😊
I know how you feel, because Enjolras is my very favorite character ever, and I absolutely love him with all my heart. Once, I was feeling sick at a gig, and I pulled up a drawing of him to look at, and I actually immediately felt better 😂 So it makes me so sad when people are mean to him! I get that he’s a fictional character, and people can write whatever they want— that’s totally fair. I would never speak to anyone about this or tell them to stop, because they have the right to do what they want! Fiction is for fun (among other things), and if someone wants to thoroughly misrepresent this good, loving character? They can be my guest! But I’m still going to be umami about it.
I agree that it’s sad when people represent him so poorly. I made a post about him awhile ago detailing some of the things he does that I love, and I could honestly go on for ages about why he represents hope just as much as Cosette does, and why all the light imagery is so fitting because he’s a light in the world, and blah blah blah. He’s incredibly wonderful, and he’s soft and loving and good just as much as he’s fierce and terrifying. He makes me happy even on my very saddest and darkest days, and because of his message of radical goodness, I’ve become a better person (I know it sounds corny, but I really do think that’s the case).
Now, I know that a lot of people who write these fics may find Grantaire to be relatable. That’s fair! I do too! But you hit the nail right on the head: in order to make him be sympathetic, they have to make his foil be even more of a dick than he is, which means he has to be, as you said, a borderline abusive monster. Because the thing is, Grantaire is a dick! He’s such an asshole, my gosh. And in this strange new push for moral purity, people don’t want to relate to a character whom they deem Bad, so they have to defang him in order to make him palatable. They victimize him so that none of his bad behavior is his fault, and he can be absolved of blame. Then, he’s just a poor little sad shy baby who suffers from so many problems, not the least of them being an uptight, self-righteous, awful boyfriend who says mean things for no reason and has really bad takes on literally everything because he’s so naive.
I think, too, that people who write these fics suffer from what I call the DC-Comic Syndrome. That is, everything has to be dark and cynical and chock-full of gritty realism (though really, DC is getting a lot better about that now, so I may have to rename that). Problem is, they don’t really think it through, so their arguments do come down to criticizing Enjolras for having hope. It’s cool to be cynical and jaded, because it’s more intellectual, and smarter, and wanting to change the world is silly and childish, and Grantaire is obviously therefore the epitome of cool. He’s smart and cultured and well-read, yes. But that doesn’t mean that he’s anything more than the 19th century equivalent of that annoying guy in your philosophy class who “just wants to play devil’s advocate” every time someone opens their mouth.
Then, too, there’s the poor characterization. I’ve seen people say things like “oh Grantaire is better than Enjolras because he actually cares about people” like wow, did we read the same book? Grantaire is awful to people, including his friends, may I add! They tolerate him because of his good humor-- I don’t have my book on me, so I don’t have a page number, but it’s in there-- not because he has anything salient to say, or even because he’s particularly nice to be around. When Bossuet mentions that he’s drinking an awful lot, he immediately shoots back by criticizing the hole in his clothing. Sure, it’s funny, but it’s not very good proof that he’s a warm and cuddly friend. Enjolras, on the other hand, canonically stands around thinking about how great his friends are. He gives Grantaire a chance, even though they both know that he doesn’t believe in the cause, and when Grantaire flubs it, he still happily shares a death with him, he’s ready to exchange Javert for Jehan, and he feels such empathy for the artillery sergeant that he claims him as his brother, and cries when shooting him. He’s a very loving person! I think a big problem is that he isn’t so nice to Grantaire, and this makes people think of him in a poor light. But we have to remember how much Grantaire antagonizes, and yes, endangers him. If we look at the facts, we see that Enjolras is very tolerant of him, all things considered. I think one of his blind spots is his love for his friends, putting that even above the cause, and that extends to Grantaire as well.
I’ve also seen so many fics wherein les amis threaten to abandon Enjolras, or threaten him with harm, or don’t listen to his side of the story, or yes, physically assault him, and it’s framed as good. It drives me up the wall! Les amis love Enjolras just as much as he loves them! They mess with him, sure, but they obviously love him a lot, and they would never treat him that way. If he was actually cruel or abusive, yes, I could see them being harsher with him, but that’s a moot point, because he would never. In the original French, he shows his anger with Javert by switching from “vous” to “tu.” He cries, he sits around quietly and listens to his friends talk, he even goes so far as to give the title of leader to Marius. He’s an angel, that’s what he is, and he would never act in the ways that these fics portray. And his friends know that, and it’s obvious that they do, because they feel comfortable following him even to the death. He’s not the conditional member; Grantaire is. Grantaire is the one whose beliefs don’t mesh with theirs; whose ideology can be summarized as “belligerently contrarian”; whose very personality is abrasive and crude. He’s the one who’s only tolerated because of his good humor; Enjolras is there because they adore him, and share the same beliefs that he does. I think it’s a disservice to les amis to see them as any less passionate and earnest as Enjolras, and to portray them as anything less than loving towards one of their dear friends. Think of the controversy if they all were written to turn on Jehan or Joly. There would be a public outcry! The fic writer would be anathematized! So it doesn’t make any more sense for them to turn on Enjolras like that.
Am I saying that everything has to be a fluffy, happy coffeeshop AU? No, definitely not. I think that mode of thinking is very disturbing, actually. Conflict is good, and characters should do problematic and downright shitty things. But when those shitty things are framed by the narrative as good, then it becomes a lot more suspicious. It’s bad writing, is what it is, and I know that I, who am also a bad writer, have no point from which to speak, but I can recognize poor characterization, at least, and this fandom is full of it.
Anyway, I’m sorry that I went on so long! I got a little heated. You put it much better than I did, but in short, I agree with you, and I don’t read a lot of fic these days either, unless it’s by a Trusted Source, or by me. Thank you for sending me this! I’m always down to talk about Les Mis or Enjolras or anything at all, really! I hope you have a fantastic day!!!
p.s. I think you might be interested in this fic by (my girlfriend!!) @amiedelabaisse 😊
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safeguard
THIS IS A WINTERHAWK BLOG NOW. also on ao3
There’s a new guy at the bus stop Clint’s first day back.
Clint is going to affectionately refer to him as ‘Stubble’ from now on, because he’s rocking the I’ve been awake for 72 hours and what is a razor anyway look. And Clint really does mean rocking it, honestly. Angels clearly carved this guy’s jawline themselves, and the rough-around-the-edges-chic thing does absolutely nothing to disguise it.
It’s possible that Clint is fixated on Stubble and his attractiveness in order to distract himself from his imminent death, but whatever.
Stubble shows up three minutes after Clint, shoots him a quick glance with a pair of very cool grey eyes, and then settles under the sign to presumably wait for his bus. He looks kind of murdery, but also bored enough that Clint probably isn’t his target.
Clint’s phone vibrates in his pocket and he nearly leaps out of his skin, and then almost tosses it into the slushy gutter while trying to get it out of his jacket. His hands are shaking, half from nerves and half from the fact that he’s freezing his ass off.
Natasha had offered to drive him today, but he’d waved her off with a grin, and then when she’d refused to be waved off he’d gotten serious and told her that he needed to get back on the horse. Her parting shot had included the words ‘ridiculous’ and ‘asshole’, but Clint’s deaf so he can’t be relied upon to hear that kind of slander.
He’s fine. It’s a whole thing. Like, yeah, he definitely had PTSD when he got back from that last godforsaken desert posting and it took him a while to get over that (mostly) and, yes, maybe getting into it with the local mob to the point where they were willing to find him on the street and beat the crap out of him had been a bit of a setback, but he’s definitely fine.
By someone’s definition, Clint is absolutely fine. And his black eyes are fading! He’s doing great.
(A little voice in the back of his head which sounds suspiciously like Sam from down at the VA mutters about how he spends too much time reassuring himself he’s fine rather than trying to actually become fine. He ignores it.)
Anyway, it’s not paranoia if Russian mobsters are really out to get you.
He finally manages to get his phone out and unlocked. The text is from Kate, and it’s a picture of Lucky on her couch, legs in the air and mouth open in a goofy grin. Clint blows out a half-annoyed chuckle and replies a series of pink hearts. He’s going to have to resort to something serious to get his own dog back tonight. He could try the truth - that he sleeps a hell of a lot better with Lucky’s weight on the bed with him - but hopefully it won’t get to that point.
His bus sweeps in then, rolling to a stop at the curb. Clint climbs on and breathes a small sigh of relief.
Clint nearly got blown up by an IED once, so it’s kind of ironic that he’s currently having nightmares about a little roadside brawl.
The subconscious is a fucking asshole. Also, there’s a bit of a sense of the inevitability of death, or maybe just the understanding that you could die any day, that you get when you’re active military on tour that you just really don’t get when you’re waiting for a bus back stateside.
He hadn’t expected it. He hadn’t heard them coming. He’d been standing there minding his own business, and the next thing he’d been on his back on the pavement with a boot in his ribs and his hearing aids fizzling out on someone yelling, Hey!
He startles awake to a wet nose in his face. Lucky isn’t smart enough to know that Clint was dreaming, but he’s definitely smart enough to know that Clint moving around means breakfast is on the way.
“Mutt,” Clint mutters affectionately, pushing him away and rolling him up in the quilt. He’s up before his alarm, but it’s not early enough to be worth trying to sleep again. He stumbles upright in search of coffee, shoving his aids into his ears, nearly eating carpet when the tangle of Lucky-and-blankets follows him off the mattress.
Kate appears in his apartment like she’s following the smell of coffee, her eyes still mostly shut even though she’s dressed for work. Clint even pours her a mug because he’s generous and because he loves her a whole lot.
“Morning,” she says, once she’s three-quarters of the way through it. “Can I borrow the puppy today?”
Clint clutches his chest. He was in the circus, he can do ‘theatrical’ with the best of them. “You’re asking permission now?”
“Well, some asshole gave me a sob story about how he can’t sleep without his dog…”
Clint ignores that. “Aren’t you working?”
“Only for a few hours this morning.” She looks too tired for a kid, and Clint knows the fatigue that comes with knowing there’s not quite enough money coming in but not being able to do much about it.
“You know I can swing you some hours with Nat, right?”
The look that earns is killer. “Yeah, I know you can give me some of yours. And I’m not the one who has to pay to look after a whole building.”
Clint doesn’t have much of an argument, so he just shrugs. “Offer stands. And Lucky’s all yours, I’ll pick him up when I get home.”
“Cool. Don’t get killed at the bus stop,” Kate says and he collects his stuff to leave.
“I won’t. Besides, there’s a new guy, he might help me out. Two on one,” he muses, searching for his wallet. “He does only have one arm though.”
“And you’re deaf,” Kate points out, like she thinks he’s picking on the guy for being disabled or something.
“That doesn’t stop me punchin’ people though.” Clint illustrates this with a corny one-two air-jab. “Nat says it’s all been quiet since, anyhow.”
“You must have scared them off with your ability to get a broken nose really easily,” Kate says, though her mouth quirks with amusement. “By the way, it’s in your back pocket.”
Clint gropes his ass, and finds she’s right - his wallet has been there this whole time. “Aw, man. You couldn’t have said that earlier? I’m gonna be late.”
“I don’t spend enough time staring at your old-man ass to notice earlier!” Kate calls out even as he’s halfway into his coat and out of the door. Clint does not dignify that with a response.
Stubble’s at the bus stop, beanie pulled down to his eyebrows and his hand shoved deep in his pocket. He looks kind of fucked off with the world, but Clint can understand that. It’s too cold to be in a good mood.
Clint continues saying as much out loud, but decides not to. He’s also a little curious about whether Stubble has moved into the area recently, but he doesn’t ask either. He’s happy with silent comradery! And also he doesn’t want to make things incurably awkward.
That’s pretty much how things continue. Clint walks to the bus stop, isn’t concussed, takes the bus to work, works all day, takes the bus back, and then goes home to his apartment with his one-eyed disaster dog and sometimes Kate when she wants to share his food. Sometimes he sees other people, like Nat showing up just to point out he could take the subway instead of the bus even though he hates the subway, or some of the guys from the VA for their monthly alcohol-free meet-up. Normal stuff.
That’s up until Stubble is missing one Wednesday morning, anyway.
In his usual place is the most ridiculously proportioned dude Clint has ever seen, with shoulders so broad he must have to go through doorways side-on. Clint feels a moment of suspicion and then shoves it aside. Anyone wearing a collared shirt probably doesn’t have it out for him.
He catches Clint looking at him, and smiles. It transforms his face from attractive-but-stern to mind-bogglingly hot.
Seriously, where were all these hot muscular guys when Clint was getting his ass handed to him at this bus stop? Not that he’s not got muscles, he definitely does, but it was five on one and the odds would have been so much more even with McBeefy here.
Whatever. This guy, all blonde and shiny and good, looks much too put together to be anywhere near Clint, who is wearing sneakers with a hole in one of the toes and a bright purple beanie. Clint misses Stubble - he makes Clint look a) not old-school emo and b) outright friendly by comparison.
The next day Blondie is gone and Stubble is back, and all is right in the world. For some reason, when he relays this to Kate, she just looks amused instead of understanding.
No matter what Natasha says, Clint isn’t nosy.
He’s curious. That’s all it is, and that’s natural - he watched a nature documentary once that was all about how humans work, and curiosity was a big deal. That might have been orangutans, on second thought, but the point basically still stands.
Anyway, now it’s Stubble who has captured his attention, and he would really like to know more. There are lots of reasons for someone to be down a limb, but there’s something in the way he moves and the expressions on his face that reads ‘veteran’ to Clint. So that’s something they have in common, besides the disability.
He could ask. He doesn’t. He catches himself opening his mouth a dozen times to say something, but every time he stops before the words get out. He’s not even entirely sure why.
It’s a perfectly normal Tuesday when Clint is interrupted from absent thoughts of his meals for the day and what he has in the fridge besides beer and some leftover Chinese by pounding footsteps coming towards him.
Clint turns a bit, his right hand reaching for either his phone or the knife in his boot - he hasn’t decided yet - and then realises it’s Stubble, approaching at a flat run. He abruptly slows as he comes up on the bus stop, and then halts in his usual place before bending in half, hand on his knee, to catch his breath.
“...are you alright, bro?” Clint asks, aware that he’s potentially breaking the unspoken ‘we don’t talk to strangers on public transport’ rule even though they’re not actually on the transport yet.
“Fine,” Stubble replies after a moment, straightening up. Flushed from exertion is a good look on him. “Thought I’d miss you.”
“Huh?” says Clint. Maybe he means his bus. Maybe it was a Freudian slip. Maybe Clint should be worried about that instead of abruptly hopeful.
Stubble waves him off, staring off into the distance. Clint really, really wants to pursue that - or maybe just...talk to him in general - but that expression is not inviting so he shuts up instead.
Clint’s job is ostensibly working for Natasha’s private security firm, but a large part of what he actually does is take the free self-defense classes the firm runs after-hours.
He gets a mix of people - mostly women, some young and some older, most not white. The whole thing was Nat’s brainchild, but somehow Clint is the one who runs it even though he’s a well-trained ex-military white dude and should be all rights be the worst fear of some of his students. They get along despite this. Nat says it’s because he looks both sweeter and dumber than he is.
Every second thursday Nat does join them to show everyone first-hand the myriad ways a smaller person can hold their own against someone bigger and stronger than them. This, of course, involves Clint being thrown all around the gym by a tiny redhead looking to blow off the steam built up by working in corporate New York City.
This means the evening ends with Clint lying spreadeagled in the centre of the mats, groaning gently while a bunch of women laugh at him. Story of his life, really.
He’s considering crawling to the locker room when Nat sits down next to him. She says, “Your bruises are looking better.”
“They were,” Clint replies.
“Don’t be a baby,” she says. “I don’t leave bruises.”
“Tell that to my internal organs.”
She rolls her eyes, but she does pat him faux-sympathetically on the shoulder. Clint will take it.
“Tell me about the bus stop guy,” she says. Clint spittakes, which means he nearly chokes on his own saliva. He jerks upright, coughing it out of his lungs.
“Kate,” he rasps eventually. Nat’s silence is confirmation he didn’t need.
She’s examining her nails, unbothered. “He appeared straight after you were attacked.”
“I wasn’t attacked,” Clint protests, even though it’s not true, he just doesn’t like that word. It wasn’t that serious. “It’s a coincidence.”
“I don’t believe in coincidences,” Nat replies.
“Nat, he has one arm. I don’t think he’s been standing at the same stop as me every day for the last couple of weeks as part of some kind of convoluted assassination plot.”
“He’s hot, isn’t he,” Nat says. It isn’t actually a question.
“What do you-”
“He’s attractive enough that he’s overcome your paranoia and you’re actually not terrified of him.”
Clint opens his mouth to deny that and then stops, sighing. “You are literally the only human who would make that seem like a bad thing, you know that?”
Nat gives him a level look. “I’m coming tomorrow.”
“You’re - no you are not!”
“I want to meet him.” Her tone says I want to check him out and kill him if I find him wanting.
“I haven’t met him! He’s a hot guy at the same bus stop as me, not my future husband.”
“Not with that attitude, he won’t be,” Nat says. She pats him on the shoulder again. “It’ll be fine. Also, you can’t stop me.”
Well, she’s not wrong. “You’re going to regret this. No, I’m going to regret this. I’m going to be so full of regret, and it’ll be all your fault.”
“I’m sure I’ll learn to live with that somehow,” she says.
Clint tries to avoid the inevitable by sneaking out of his apartment. This just means that Nat shows up at the bus stop directly. She’s wearing a coat so thick she’s twice her usual width, but Clint knows that doesn’t mean much in terms of her ability to kill a man.
She looks Stubble up and down, and then says, “James Barnes, isn’t it?”
Stubble freezes and gives her such a hard-eyed glare that Clint is momentarily concerned that this is going to turn into a vicious brawl in the middle of the street. “Who’s asking?”
She says something else - Clint takes a moment to recognise it as Russian, which he only knows three words of, all of which are mean names Nat calls him. Stubble clearly knows more, because the suspicion on his face clears, if not the fierceness. He replies in the same language. They go back and forth a few times, and then Nat abruptly turns to Clint.
“It’s fine,” she says. “I’ll see you at work.”
Then she walks off. She’s halfway down the street when Clint yells, “You could drive me!” after her, not that she acknowledges that in any way.
When he turns back, Stubble - well, James Barnes, apparently - is already heading down the street in the opposite direction. “Hey! Barnes!”
He does at least stop. He doesn’t look pleased by the interruption, but that could just be his face.
“I’m sorry about her,” Clint says, hurrying after him. “She’s just protective.”
“It’s fine,” Barnes replies abruptly, and then, “You need it.”
“...excuse me?” Clint splutters.
He gets a hard look for that. “You nearly got broken into pieces by some two-bit Russian punks with a grudge.”
“Well...I didn’t!” He shouldn’t sound so defensive, considering Barnes is dead right.
“Yeah, pal, you didn’t - because of me.” Speaking of defensive - Barnes is looking a bit that way himself. “I don’t even catch a bus, you know that? I live right there,” he points at the apartment building a bit further down the street, “and I had to run out here to stop your dumb ass from getting killed by the most pathetic cousins of the Bratva I’ve ever met, and even then I was nearly too fucking late! So now I stand out here freezing my nuts off most days in case they come back, even though I know I put the fear of Christ and me into them and that they almost certainly won’t come back!”
“...you’re more verbose than you look,” Clint observes, and then jumps forwards with Barnes turns to leave. “Wait!”
Barnes turns back to him slowly, a bit wary and a bit pink-cheeked like he really hadn’t meant to say all that. He’s still gorgeous, and apparently he saved Clint’s life, or maybe just the rest of his bones besides his nose and that one broken rib.
“Thank you,” Clint says, in his most sincere voice. “I’m Clint, by the way.”
“Bucky,” Barnes says after a moment. “And you’re welcome.”
“Seriously,” Clint continues. “That’s, um, I can’t believe you would do that. You really don’t catch a bus?”
“I really don’t want to be trapped in my apartment by a police cordon while they investigate your untimely death,” Bucky replies, though he’s looking a touch more relaxed now.
“That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Clint says. He adds a little smirk to it, because he may be a disaster of a human but he’s still cute.
“Now I do feel sorry for you,” Bucky says, but he’s smirking too.
Then there’s a rush of noise, and Clint looks up just in time to be able to note, “That’s my bus,” before the bus in question roars off down the street. “Damn.”
There’s a moment of semi-awkward silence, and then Bucky says, “My roommate has a car.”
It turns out that Blondie McMuscles is Bucky's roommate, though his actual name is Steve. Steve is clearly very much in on this whole watching-Clint’s-back thing, because when Bucky lets them into the apartment they share, he grins brilliantly.
He’s opening his mouth to speak when Bucky interrupts, “Steve, this is Clint. Clint, Steve. Steve, Clint just missed his bus, can you give him a ride to work?”
“Oh, that’s,” Clint says, “I can...get an Uber?” Yeah, in his mind’s eye, spending time with Bucky in his roommate’s car had not included said roommate along for the ride.
“Don’t worry about it, I don’t have class until this afternoon,” Steve replies. He’s still smiling, big and broad. “It’s nice to finally meet you, by the way.”
Bucky punches him in the ribs. He tries to make it subtle, but fails miserably.
Bucky makes Clint take the front passenger seat and he takes the back. On the drive, Clint learns that both Steve and Bucky are vets who’ve been back less than a year, and that Steve is enrolled in a college fine arts program while Bucky hasn’t decided what he wants to do yet. They commiserate over their past postings for a bit while carefully not trying to reveal anything they’re not supposed to say - and Clint is sure they’re both ex-spec-ops, though he’s not dumb enough to ask - and then Clint and Bucky commiserate over being stuck in Landstuhl too.
The trip isn’t long enough, because Clint is disappointed when they pull up in front of the building. He’s late, but that’s Natasha’s fault and as his boss she’s required to excuse him.
Steve and Bucky look at the sign on the building, but Steve’s the one who asks, “You work in private security?”
“...yes?” Clint says.
There’s a long silence. Clint is the one who breaks it. “I was a sniper, you know. A good one.”
“I’m sure,” Steve says, very earnestly.
“So not a hand-to-hand specialist, then,” Bucky says at the same time.
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Clint tells him, though not without humour. “Thanks for the ride, Steve. I really appreciate it.”
He pushes himself out of the car, and then looks up when Bucky does the same, his door hanging open between them.
“Sorry. That was kinda offensive,” Bucky says.
“My ego isn’t that fragile,” Clint replies. “Otherwise I’d probably be pretty butthurt over you playing bodyguard for the last couple of weeks.”
“‘Butthurt’,” Bucky echoes. His expression is objectively pretty funny.
“Yeah. But I’m not, so it’s cool,” Clint shrugs. “Thanks again. And, you know, you don’t need to keep hanging out in the cold. Promise I won’t get killed.”
“I know I don’t need to,” Bucky replies. He hangs his arm over the door between them, leaning his body into it, and Clint tries not to notice that they’re of a height in a really nice way. “Doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop.”
“Okay,” Clint replies, like a dumbass. The whole ‘not noticing’ thing isn’t working out so well for him. Also, Bucky smells really good, and he’s looking Clint dead in the eye all serious and protective.
“I hate to interrupt, boys, but this is technically a no parking zone,” Steve says from inside the car. Clint had forgotten he was there.
“Shut up, Stevie,” Bucky replies, which is when Clint leans across to kiss him. It’s just a brief brush of lips, a bit off-centre, and Clint has a moment to experience some impressive pre-regret (the kind that will turn to actual regret when Bucky announces that he’s straight and possibly pushes Clint into traffic) before Bucky’s hand rises to his chin and manoeuvres him so they’re kissing properly.
It’s good. It’s pretty great, actually.
“I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Bucky says, when they break apart. “You’re going to be late.”
“I’m so late,” Clint agrees a touch breathlessly, and kisses him once more before he bolts for the front door of the building.
He struggles to shake the grin for most of the day, but he figures he deserves it. He got beaten up by the Bratva for this.
#marvel#winterhawk#bucky barnes#clint barton#my fic#life is a circle and i've returned to my natural writing style
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The (Un)Wanted Kiss [Chapter 10]
A/N: Our tenth and final chapter! I’m posting the Epilogue right after this, and the bonus chapters are coming in a few days because I want to get right into my next project by next Tuesday, which is looking to be the fem!WinterIron, but the votes could swing back in favour of the Stripper AU, who knows. Thank you for all the support I’ve gotten on this! Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts.
Summary/Warnings | AO3 | Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9
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Bucky wasn’t really sure why he was even surprised about Steve and Sam. Sam had filled a lot of the roles that had once been for Bucky. It wasn’t that Bucky was bitter towards Steve for it, necessarily. If Sam and Steve were happy together, so be it.
If Sam was everything Bucky couldn’t be, then so be it.
That’s what Steve deserved, wasn’t it? He deserved the best.
Everything Bucky couldn’t be.
Sitting in Tony’s workshop lights off in the middle of the damned night, Bucky stared at the gun in his hand. It felt heavy, so heavy Bucky could hardly lift it. Its weight was all in Bucky's head, sure he knew that. It was all in his head, messing with him. Taunting him. The bullet almost seemed to know that Bucky wanted it there, buried in his skull and had already begun burrowing its way -even if figuratively- into his brain.
Too bad Bucky was too coward to pull the trigger.
Even with the image of Steve and Sam together seared into his mind, even with the awful pain of knowing how awful he’d been to Tony, Bucky couldn’t do it. Even sitting alone in Tony’s workshop while the genius slept because Bucky couldn’t even go to his own room, he couldn’t do it.
He wanted to. God, he wanted to. Wanted to be able to pull the trigger, shoot himself in the head. It’d be easier for everyone, wouldn’t it? Steve was happy without him. All Bucky had done was cause a mess for Tony. The UN wouldn’t even have to worry about him anymore.
It’d be easier for everyone. Easy. As easy as just pulling a trigger.
Bucky couldn’t even bring himself to point the damned gun at his head.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Tony’s rough voice filled the room and a light flicked on. “FRIDAY said you were down here hanging out.”
Bucky looked up like a deer caught in the headlights. “Nothing. Just thinking.”
Tony walked over in nothing but a tank top and briefs, sitting down next to Bucky. “In my personal experience, ‘just thinking’ with a gun in your hand is a lot more than thinking.”
Bucky looked down at the gun, and up at Tony. He didn’t know what to say. He never did, anymore.
“Right.” Tony cleared his throat. “Look, whatever you’re thinking about… don’t. Okay? Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. It’s never worth it.”
“How can you say that?” Bucky whispered. “How can you know that? I’ve caused you nothing but trouble. I’m not worth this, Tony.”
“Is anyone worth the trouble?” Tony shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t really think that matters. Look, I can’t stop you from pulling the trigger. No one can, if that’s what you’re determined to do. But I can tell you that you shouldn’t. That people would miss you.” He paused, head tilting to the side. “That I’d miss you.”
Bucky’s heart twisted into awful knots. “Why-you?”
“Why not?” Tony fidgeted a bit. “Who else would hang out down here and keep me company? Dum-E and U get annoying after awhile, you know.” He forced a smile and shaky laugh. Bucky managed a faint smile too.
“I want to,” Bucky said, quietly.
Tony nodded. “I know-”
“No, lemme finish.” Bucky shook his head. "I want to," Bucky forced the words out and they were barely a hoarse whisper. "I want to deserve it. I want to deserve having someone like you kiss me. Kiss me not for the cameras or the press, but... kiss me because you want to. Because you like it. I want it, but even more, I want to deserve it." Bucky drew in a shuddering breath.
“Oh.” Tony sounded… startled, really. Bucky didn’t blame him. It came out of nowhere, and startled him, even. But it was something he needed to say. “Well. For the record, I think you deserve it. I don’t know about me, though. But you do.”
“Why wouldn’t you?” Bucky stared at him.
Tony laughed, almost hysterically. “I kissed you on national television and didn’t even give you so much as a warning, let alone ask for consent. It’s a dick move.”
“It was necessary,” Bucky admitted. Not only to Tony but also to himself. “It made me angry, sure. And I had reason to be. But you did what you had to. I could be in an underground prison being tortured right now if it weren’t for you.”
“Still got a long ways to go.” Tony countered. “This fight is far from over, Bucky.”
“I know.” Bucky sighed. “But thanks to you, there’s a fight, to begin with.”
Tony’s smile was more genuine this time. “And for what it’s worth? I want to kiss you too.”
Bucky blinked. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“You can. If you want.” Bucky set the gun down.
Tony studied Bucky’s face for a painfully long moment. “Well then, I better do it right this time.” He cleared his throat, leaning closer to Bucky. “James Buchanan Barnes, may I kiss you?”
Bucky felt tears welling up, but it wasn’t painful. It was beautiful. “Yes, please.” He nodded.
Tony smiled and closed the gap, going slow enough for Bucky to be able to pull back if he wanted to. Tony’s hand came up to cradle the side of Bucky’s face, his calloused hand feeling like a perfect heaven against Bucky’s skin. The kiss was even better.
Tony’s lips were a bit chapped and tasted like alcohol, but they were still warm and comforting. Nothing was forced, and it wasn’t even a long kiss. Just a gentle press of lips before they broke apart again. Tony stared at Bucky, waiting for his reaction. He looked… nervous, almost.
It was cute.
“That was perfect,” Bucky murmured. He smiled a bit. “May I have another?”
Tony laughed so hard his forehead bumped with Bucky’s. “That was so fucking corny, Barnes. Really?”
“Really.” Bucky brushed a hand through Tony’s hair. “I want to kiss you every day.”
Tony licked his lips. “We’ll see about that.” He kissed Bucky again.
It was perfect.
-
@socialtendancies @justjessica131 @my-drowning-in-time@creepycrazyshipper@trashcanakin@journeythroughtherain @bash-it-all@adriebananas@valiantkittenwitch@skye07@jeshiipacheco@crazy4thewinbros @daughter-of-infinity@alldagayshipsbruh @tqny-stark@mrunaliniraman@drarrydarling @i-dont-know-anything-and-i-worry @shadowkya @niniony @smittenkitten143 @hufflepuffandcorgi @theastraywolf
#winteriron#winteriron fanfic#bucky x tony#The (Un)Wanted Kiss#angst#chapter 10#winteriron-trash writes
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13x02 watching notes
i'm on a train. choo choo.
expectations: helpfully wrote them out last time for the season as a whole which this ep is introducing all the plot stuff for since last episode advanced the plot a single day of angst, but this episode especially has a few SUPER low bars to pass. Last time out BL failed spectacularly to not kill Eileen. now we have "don't assault mary, over-sexualise the day old guy, or flub introing the new characters, or reintroducing the returning ones"
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our train was like 10 minutes late out the station because there was no driver. is this a metaphor.
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i also had to eat krispy kreme doughnuts before I could dig into the episode.
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oh jeeze Drexel survived season 12... no one really has a fanclub for the random minions, probably because around Simmons we realised there was no point getting attached. and he was in some of the worst scenes of last season just because of the context. which is a shame. also he's a lucifer fan and that's not really a worthwhile position. anyway hope springs eternal that colonel sanders is such a charismatic character he makes the demon scenes worth watching... and Drexel gets to be interesting. And stop saying lines like 'make hell great again' which is so not a good thing to put in his mouth - at least the other demons who were going around saying it it was the white demon who said it and got the stink eye from the other demon.
One of the other demons says "can you even hear yourself" but idk if BL would crit their own writing unlike competent writers whose first port of call is stressing that they are bad writers and mock their corny dialogue
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this also raises the semi perpetual question since season 11 that if Crowley's throne room is here why would any of the pretenders to the throne even want it. they seriously need to justify it. We know devil's gates are a pain and not usually open so smuggling minions out to work topside is an issue but there are other workarounds than establishing a campy hell set that's not even in hell, then getting confused about if it's hell or not, and never really explaining why Lucifer would stick around in it except for the fact Crowley is really good at setting up a system and it would be a shame not to use the pre-established set up.
but eh
I really sincerely hope Asmodeus is just here because Crowley's ex-minions are here and will relocate post-haste to his plantation.
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He hung up his coat. Drexel survived though. I guess being a named character has its perks. the sun shone in my eyes the entire time so i was quite amused when the train turned a bit and i saw demons dropping with burned out eyes, angel-style. like Dagon being super duper powerful, I guess they're giving him extra powers - because this is just a few steps up from how Sam was exploding demons with his head at one point and he got his powers from a YED... though in 5x10 when Lucifer killed all those demons he also didn't burn the eyes out. it's probs a stylistic choice. in character and out.
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Nougat!!! he's so cute. he's sleeping at an angle to be behind Sam in the convo. The camera points at Sam from the dash and at Dean from Sam's POV, and Jack is in his background. methinks this is about Sam.
He's trying to make Dean sleep and calling out how he hasn't had any, which is nice because I was worried about that earlier.
Dean is calling Jack "it" which I think was in some people's pre-season fic, or else if it weren't it was in the one i didn't write :P Blatant convo is blatant but does at least have an actual honest to god lead into the next scene via the mom is dead conversation. Again we get the super zoom close up on sam being sad and questioning dean's thoughts. assert yourself, sammy! i believe in u
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(totally on your side too Dean but the sun is too bright to examine your micro expressions and the camera isn't favouring you anywho so you're a rewatch flavour today)
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Satan wants to trade Mary for Jack. Well if Dean knew he'd sell Jack for a corn chip anyway (is that Crowley's phrase from the original weird dog episode?) so that's just a great big victory. methinks the choice will fall on Sam or fall on Dean after he's had a chance to bond with Jack some more - that's the other side to the tension about Dean liking jack that i was talking about earlier whensomeone asked me why everyone wants dean to adopt jack.
ideally mary saves herself or it never comes to it but for now i'll assume whatever else happens between here and there, some version of this plan will at least be floated, even if it's random circumstances and not lucifer's hand any more or something
makes sense anyway to tie mary back into the main arc in a way like how she mirrored cas the entire time last season - if her fate and jack's are connected even tenuously it gives her a connect back into the main thing
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oh good the woman next to me has finished her dangerously over-full cup of Pimms because I was terrified it would be bye bye laptop
nnnoooo as I type she refilled it
the train is swaying back and forth so much
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anyway Mary asks Lucifer why he wants to be a parent and he hints several times in a row that he has hidden depths without actually showing any of them. i don't want him to have a redemption anyway and i really super duper don't want him to have one written entirely by BL
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Colonel Sanders continues to try and liven up the story while giving us surface level exposition
I'll be honest, 'write that down' is the first good line... must be whichever of BL is quippy currently writing. I think they just introduced a monster taht lucifer is scared of but I couldn't catch what it was and for some reason another demon is listening in so is he getting ideas? I mean why to what end? also what exactly was the thing that was locked up because it sounded like a cut price Leviathan expo dump but obvs not that because a leviathan would eat Lucifer
i mean i don't think we pay enough attention to the fact that dick roman would just gobble lucifer up and end of story. bring back dick.
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*Pimms lady sways dangerously close to my laptop*
I think Sam accused Dean of hallucinating "shit" on the road because it's too noisy to hear him say "sheep". I just assume that is what he actually said in the non-censored version
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pls drink your Pimms fast enough to end this danger but not so fast you're sloshed and throw it on my laptop before it's all gone
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Cashing in on that new Scooby Doo partnership! Some bank like Halifax is currently using Scooby Doo to sell stuff so I see that dog on telly all the time and the fact they exist in the same fictional universe as Sam and Dean is kiiiilling me. I think we have all been assuming Jack takes us to Scooby World so plonking him in front of the telly to watch some is how it all begins. Dean, like every fan fic between 13x01 and now hates Jack unreservedly for having childlike enthusiasm about the telly because Cas used to do that, while (semi)unaware that Jack is mirroring HIMSELF from 12x11 most closely right now. I think that's an interesting parallel I don't know how much work has gone into but pls poke me to write about Jack's 1 day old child-like wonder compared to sweetie pie no memory Dean if no one else has done it because they're essentially the same character from completely different angles, and we're about to hit Jack mirroring Dean excessively.
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Me: don't excessively sexualise the kid
BL: "here read a book" *chucks the Bible at him* *he opens it to the Song of Solomon* We're NOT having this chat right now.
I suppose some people just meta-gasmed all over this. I don't know much about the Bible but I do know that's the sexy bit.
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the "I can take the couch" conversation probably put the exact same thought process in Jack's head as mine when my very lanky brother looked at the lil brick hard bed set up in the corner of our hotel while we were stranded in Glasgow, and looked at me, princess and the pea-syndrome sufferer, and nobly offered to take a bed that *my* feet stuck 3 inches over.
No.
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Thanks but no.
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aw man we're only at Carlisle.
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It's the promo scene as well, which mostly just drove home how much Jack is mirroring Dean... We've had basically no character interaction in the missing day, although we can assume it's mostly gone like this... Dean annoyed, Sam forgiving Jack for being adorable, and Jack being adorable. He's getting better at sarcasm as well, which can't be making Dean feel any better about him.
And that means that the "Castiel is my father" revelation happened off-screen and we're not being given any room for a reaction about it, which is the most annoying part of this. I knew 13x01 was an anomaly and going into a BL ep so soon after would deprive us of some of the emotional depth, but it's like having a bucket of cold water dumped on us :P
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I think Dean's 'sometimes' about family being good is going to be a criminally underrated line and I don't even know if I can bring myself to remember it all the time in discussions about how Dean feels about family going forwards but this is a note that i heard him say it and acknowledged it means he has some issues with blood family ongoing.
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Jack being adorably human blah blah, Dean aggravates the issue by being really mean about insisting Lucifer is his father and asking if he reached out to Jack and now Jack's remembering him doing that. Hey leave the kid alone, Dean, his blank slate was slightly messed up by waning to be like Cas which is obviously an excellent exemption to having a blank slate.
Maybe there's a metaphor in him agitating the bad father sitation over here.
I don't know if Jack should have asked for clarification there so let's pretend there was a hesitation and a "Ca -" "*Lucifer.* Your father." exchange. Or something.
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And now Nougat is lying about emotional strife, like's been agitated into being a Winchester from his great blank slate
GAH Stop gesturing by the STILL FULL glass of Pimms
they keep topping it up and it's not good for my stress levels
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I think I just missed basically everything that happened because all I could see was my own reflection but then they were like *rising tension music* *scuffle* *donatello* so I assume he jumped out on them. Mental note to go back and see who was defensive of Jack and what he did.
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*casually mopping up my neighbour's Pimms as it splashes dangerously close to my laptop while listening to Donatello's exposition*
the good thing about BL episodes is that you can often just kinda chill and listen to the exposition if it's just a chunk o dialogue and nothing offensive is going on so we're making progress through the ep
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*dean is super bitter about who does and doesn't have a direct line to god for some reason*
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Awww Sam says they're brothers and it's a family crest when he is saying Jack should get the tattoo <3
*completely* robbed of Dean's reaction
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WHY DID THEY NOT TELL JACK IT WOULD HURT
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I went to the loo and came back to them wiping Pimms off their phone
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Well Jack just completely put Dean in his place RE: pain, when he told him to man up about it and Jack was like right we accept pain as a sign of maturity... this is absolutely not what Dean meant but it is probably a healthier approach to it minus all the toxic masculinity
can we get to 13x03 and an ep written by Berens soon :P
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Jack accidentally absorbs his warding. Oops. I guess that angel warding was a WEE bit OTT I mean I'm no expert but that looks like a total pain to be dealing with all the time for the makeup department :P
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Also must have taken friggin ages
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I still don't get why Donnatello is here except to use as a chip in their arguments... Ah well. Dean arguing intent doesn't matter freaky powers are freaky powers because he's still pissed about what happened to Cas and can't see the much more basic thing that Jack didn't mean to get Cas killed and OBVIOUSLY didn't intend it if he was waiting for Cas to be there for him when he popped out of the womb. I think for all the random avenues this took in fandom this is probably about as deep as the show will go if this is how BL are spelling it all out for us... And the answer is all there on the page already but we're just using Dean as the alternate side of the argument to show his own character stuff going on where he can't deal with Jack because he's upset about Cas. And he was always more concerned about Cas than the philosophy of whatever else was going on
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Train going through the Lake District... I am enchanted. It's a grey day w/ very low clouds and water on the ground and all the trees are autumnal. Sue me, this is more interesting than Donatello being unhelpful. He backed up Sam's argument earlier w/ saying Lucifer felt toxic and Jack is somewhat more like his grandfather, but then once he starts talking he's like hurr blurr as a scientist nature wins and he's a monster and then Sam's like I thought you were on my side dude and then Dean angsts about Cas some more and calls Jack the devil and he decides he better start teleporting now because leave me alone not-dad and get off my case
I hope we see his wings. Dean asks in 13x01 if he had wings and equated it to teleporting and I suppose we don't know how demons do it but the assumption is if he's half-angel adn can teleport then he has wings
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Oh no it is KILLING me how Jack's thing is sitting cross legged. PROTECT HIM.
Sam finds him, thankfully, after the Sad Kelly Montage. There's a very Northern man behind me talking loudly on the phone so I'm gonna concentrate SUPER HARD now
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The hotel is called the Black Hat which I think is western coding for the bad guy. There was a house in the prairie art on the wall, and the single isolated house is how Jack came into the world... He's dealing with towns now.
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Exposition Mooose! Telling us Dean gets some wires crossed about getting angry whe nhe's frustrated and scared like yes good expose dean for us some more... explaining him to jack is like hey so um he's an acquired taste... trying to make this about protecting everyone instead of pointing out the obvious that he blames jack for what happened to cas
Jack is a winchester because he's like maybe i'm not worth it
help
and them Sam brings up w/o knowing it was on jack's mind that kelly thought so but also is a blatant link to how they used dead!mary to guide their lives right up until she came back...
... and then so would Cas and so would I. Sam aligning himself with Jack's parents to show he has emotional guardianship of him right now
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has dean gone down to the bar because it's called th eblack spur and obvs not the same one but i'm like 100% sure that's the bar from 10x01 where he was hanging with Crowley and I'm not gonna fact check that. it's "black" again aka more nature stuff, more coded evil stuff I guess? I don't know anything about Westerns I admit
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And hey look a blonde bartender is chatting to him - there's a Jack ale sign on one side... and hahahahahaaaa no there's a Kingdom Beer sign behind Dean over his shoulder because the director wants to kill me
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So far this is the weirdest BL episode Ive seen in a long time because they're trying so so hard to be all nuanced and deep and to explore character stuff and carry on the mood from the first episode, while being direly under-equipped to handle it, so everyone's just blurting exposition all over the place in a series of awkward exchanges. The overtness of the dialogue is actually helping in a weird way to rush through the tick boxes because Dean just admitted to seeking his neglectful father's approval from a standing start which is a sign of progress for him to just leap right into admitting his issues with John. I don't have a frame of reference for this because tired and white noise and noting we're pulling into Lancaster and it looks like rain now and there's a guy travelling with an enormous silver mirror with an ornate frame as tall as he is on the other platform and more pimms is on the table... but yeah when DID he last talk about John? Is this the increased openness since 12x22 we were hoping for? Is my backpack okay because it's in a luggage rack I can't see and if someone nicks it they're only stealing all my laundry but I like some of those t-shirts so it would be a bummer...
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Lol surprise Asmodeus, no wonder she pushed all the father stuff... Was he talking about Lucifer then? It's everyone has father issues season. He's fitting in as another mirror in it all. Like the great big shiny mirror the dude at Lancaster station had. I'd honestly not be surprised if John came back in some way just cuz we had the Mary season where motherhood was a theme, and now we're doing this. I don't think John would come back for good liek Mary but they could scrounge up a more direct way of confronting his memory at least.
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This also is so unsubtle bcos Dean had no idea what the bartender looked like so he coulda just tended the bar and chatted to Dean b4 he knew who Asmodues was, and we could have had some cool tension like we all know that Colonel Sanders is the bad guy and Dean's just chatting him up a bit. But then when do we ever get such things in a BL ep?
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Sam just goes and spells it out about Jack being molded and the ambiguity of his father figures aka the dual nature battle they think Jack should have, with a deciding vote already thrown in there by Kelly and of course that Jack has free will and choice
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So Mary just nearly got assaulted, tho not by Lucifer, which was not exactly a pleasant surprise. >.> idk what that guy's problem was but he seems to be implying women can't fight and something something I didn't catch but clearly he doesn't see a whole bunch of women. This is literally the antithesis of the show's handling of female hunters since the start so I'm going to have to assume that this is an AU thing like, total worst timeline, and everyone's sexist to boot. Not really a fan of doing this at all because why are humans made out to be just as bad as meeting angels and demons in this world - Mary being at risk from ALL of them (where is BOBBY I wanna see wtf was going on between him and AU mary and our mary and our bobby) - and it being disappointing that Mary's at risk BECAUSE she's female and might get assaulted.
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Lucifer continues to try and act like a good guy by saving Mary and then of course the Nice Guy twist that always comes - if you won't give me what I want that I'm pretending is mutually beneficial then I will just hurt you.
They're chilling by that church from 8x23 now so I guess Mikey will be along soon.
Preston Station looks like a hellscape as well - it's packed and there's no ticket barriers. I'm so glad we were only passing through
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Dean comes in and sits down with Sam with the shadows of the blinds falling over them - prison imagery I missed you! We're trapped in these mindsets...
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Sam wants to get them on the same page and Dean is like F U and Sam's like lemme do exposition while you sit with the shadow over your eyes.
I wish there was a shadow falling over my eyes... We've passed back through to hazy sunlight south of Preston.
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Sam says people who we love, and who have been in our lives for a long time, in such a way I bet some asshole is excluding Cas from one category bcos Mary doesn't count in the long time category so maybe one is for her and one is for Cas
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obviously that's the real donatello because he only cares about breakfast and is an object of ridicule while Asmodeus was presumably the other and actually talking plot.
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this is an idiot ball moment tbh because Jack hasn't been in any hotel scenes for a while and somehow we've shuffled through all the characters here and not had any of them with Jack or checking where he is despite him being the most precious cargo, and it was bugging me earlier that dontatello and sam talking meant jack was alone because he wouldn't be w/ dean so where was he but Sam didn't ask? they just chatted? And obvs that was asmodeus but yeah... no one's keeping an eye on him and D. wasn't even supposed to be taking Jack to get breakfast or what? If that wasn't him then what exactly did Sam think Jack was up to?
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Also Sam tanking the mytharc Dean tanking the personal arc - he talks to both of them w/o them knowing and guess what each's conversation is
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And also Dean came in with food as well like there's major miscommunication going on here if the real donatello was getting breakfst and so was Dean but is that the point or is that just a plothole where this doesn't add up properly if you actually try and map who knew what and - was Dean the one SUPPOSED to be watching Jack? But Sam didn't ask him either.
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Anyway here's the demon that Dean's entire fight scene is about straddling to death.
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I also loved his march down to the room where he was all in shadows
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The last shot of that fight though where Dean's cowering away from the demon on a bed while it advances on him with a knife
like wow that was a good fight scene for the dynamics going on there. Dean as a victim being absolutely dominated by that demon and all the associated knife and weirdass positions imagery. Dean on that table with his legs around the demon is like an entire meta on its own as well
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okay it was too bright when I saw the scene where Asmodeus was talking about that whatever it was he let out but I THINK that was the same demon I thought I saw overhearing it and now I am wondering what on earth that was about because Dean just killed him :P
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Awww Jack out in nature. I love the flowers and the buzz of insects and life all around him. And Asmodeus is testing him.
Okay it's been like one episode how can he have character inconsistency with himself from earlier in the episode - he now wants to unleash the things he got in trouble for unleashing before? I mean unless he's decided that Lucifer really isn't coming back so might as well just throw a party while there's no adult supervision, and get back to all that chaos and destruction he loves. If he thought there was remotely a chance Lucifer would come back he wouldn't do it, but then is he just doing it now out of spite that Lucifer told him no before, and instead of whatever nonsense he said about family dynamics back then is not really true at all because he wants to rebel now instead.
If Jack unleashes the thing because he was tricked then it will be the biggest Sam and Cas mirror thing ever and will set him up with some angst and guilt for the rest of the season.
One of the downsides of Dean not getting along with him is that Jack doesn't know how much scepticism about God is a healthy amount in this universe. He basically just knows that God is his grandfather and family is usually good. But God is suuuch a bad concept to rally behind here, it's not even like God wouldn't ask him to do it because God never tells anyone what to do about anything (which is like the first thing Dean would have told Jack if he hadn't still been sulking God wouldn't lift a finger to help him over the whole dead Cas issue), God would also just never have any positive reinforcement for anyone or get excited about having a grandson, at least in a way to get actively involved :P
I mean Chuck probs thought that Donatello making his way to Jack was about as useful as he could be and that immediately went sour when no one kept 2 pairs of eyes on each other at all times.
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Wyoming has some pretty nasty stuff under it :P
I wonder if Hell maps exactly to earth but just kinda deeper.
Also point to me for rambling about hell gates earlier and then Asmodeus actually listening to my suggestion box for once. Maybe he will be the one character who can actually hear me in this show.
Hey you, you're an asshole
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Is Lucifer aware he literally just lead them in a circle because I am so not telling him that, because it's too funny.
I hope Jack didn't inherit his sense of direction but this is Dabb era, as soon as that kid gets a car, trouble starts.
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The midlands are so bleak.
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These angels are wearing heavy tactical gear and yet more kneepads. The human had them too. This is just kneepad world. I don't see the necklaces of baby ears so maybe that design thing got ditched or maybe Bobby was being metaphorical. The important thing is they don't look like Cas. The weird thing is we know Mikey's costume sort of does look like a ragged Cas.
Anyway Lucifer is so offended to hear Michael killed him even though it was literally the most obvious thing ever the entire time we've known about them and since 12x12 we've had extra info to prove it :P
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Omg why are you opening champagne on a traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain
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MIKEY
He wanders in like hey I'm awesome but also I need to immediately open with super obvious exposition lines
Lucifer accuses him of being dressed like he came from a western too which goes with the thematics back in the Earth part of the story and also makes me think maybe the costuming choice was supposed to kinda mirror Frontierland Dean's 2nd costume because why the fuck not this is Dabb era, rules are for suckers :P
I can't see it w/o the hat but maybe he has a hat elsewhere.
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this hole down into the centre of the earth looks REMARKABLY like the one the 2nd season of Shadowhunters had in the season finale, so I need Magnus to just wander over the rise and close it now. Also his eyes glow gold and cat like. Is his power literally equivalent to Jack's? He's like ridiculously OP in that show. I guess all that hiatus watching was research.
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Ah, Asmodeus has learned the "Oh shit it's the Winchesters" moment already, especially recognising the car. Them driving right onto the scene has the oddest shades of 5x22 without anything being remotely like it except it's a field, hole in the earth, and car.
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Okay why did Donatello yell "that's not Donatello"
this is like the reverse of the best version of this scene I've ever heard which is the one from the end of Here Be Gerblins in the Adventure Zone which I will not spoil for you except to say this is the worst and also it doesn't take too much listening to get to that point and I nearly cried laughing so you should probably go listen. More hiatus watching research!
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The other option is D is having a total crisis of self w/o a soul or the evil D is actually the real thing and Asmodeus is helping them for some reason.
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LOL he's like hi I'm Crowley's replacement so the line now is "howdy boys" intead of hello boys
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As soon as Jack knows what's up and sees his new peeps getting hurt he stops because he is precious and he did nothing wrong and I love him
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AWW HE THINKS THEY'RE HIS FRIENDS I LOVE YOU NOUGAT
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Deal with that, Dean.
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Mary like "... should I be shuffling backwards?" "I SHOULD BE SHUFFLING BACKWARDS, BYE"
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Lucifer said he needed Mary, Mikey says he needs Lucifer... I think that phrase is being turned over and ruined now. The necessary step of Dean having said it to Cas that one time when he shoulda said I love you... They had a brief critique of "need and want" and some stuff about i and we, which was what last season was doing, but Cas feels bad bcos he feels needed but not wanted, and this is as much as Dean has said to him - from the depths of his heart - but it's not enough because that was season 8 and he hasn't felt like he belongs and he needs that I love you. Uh but w/o using "need" - look, they're gesticulating with champagne again, I have 1 eye on this at best as we roll through the midlands for an eternity :P Anyway I guess it is time to put "need" in the firing line as the Wrong Word that means that you're USING someone.
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WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??? DEAN DOES NOT SIT AT THE TABLE LIKE THAT. OH MY POOR, POOR BROKEN CHILD LET ME HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS
I know it's probably for that wonderful shot of them through the door but Dean fundamentally does not sit up against the wall - he and Sam have their places at that table when they have their chats and it's a serious thing since the entire time theyve been using the kitchen for important plot chats.
Anyway he super not okay bcos that's his seat he sits at when he's in his proper place in the dynamic - or improper one but the point is the dynamic is the dynamic when they sit opposite each other and Dean's opted out and flopped back against the wall instead of sitting where he normally does when he and Sam are in balance. Sam's connection to his seat has some other flavours of his side of the codependency issues but largely about his lack of assertiveness or getting too messed up about saving Dean, so we'll see
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AAAH Sam is sitting one seat over as well.
I know it's a free table but there's 8 seats and REMARKABLY little flexibility about it.
Dean's wearing a black henley which is also baaad news. *pats him on the head and follows with a blanket*
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Sam stands (or sits) his ground
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Dean, gosh, I don't like when the camera follows you because this is probably going to be awful for my heart.
We also have not really had his POV much this ep except the Asmodeus chat up scene
He's mostly reacted. Like he thinks Jack is only reacting.
I DON'T LIKE THIS SCENE
PROTECT JACK FROM HIMSELF TOO
I hope he was just being curious like a super amped up version of how Kira on Orphan Black found out she has super healing powers so sliced her own arm open while being scared and fascinated with what she was and pissed off the adults wouldn't tell her anything but this was gross and violent and pls protect Jack because that was awful.
Dean's suitably horrified though because he has to contemplate Jack is just as freaked out and lost as he is about this whole thing because this is a gross and horrifying way to show that Jack is as fucked up and lost as the rest of them. I don't think he was actually trying to kill himself esp. because he knew the angel blade already stabbed him and did nothing and even if he doesn't know what it is and why that's signficant he knows he didn't die of something that should have killed him... I hope it's just childlike curiosity mixed with bleak existential horror as he comes to understand how much he doesn't understand himself even in the context of the world he's in...
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OH NO
but also good lines of dialogue they acted super well. Jack is starting to think he can't be saved if Dean doesn't think it and is silently asking him to do it because he doesn't want to hurt people and oh gosh this isn't 10x09 at all where Deran asked Cas to do it to him... But completely different emotional landscape where Dean WOULD do it and wants to and Jack is only just starting to doubt himself and wonder if he would hurt people and the important thing is not like Dean thinking there was a line he would cross and half-tricking Cas into saying he'd do it by asking him for a favour first, but Cas not being able to oblige him in 10x22... This is Jack being such a good pure piece of nougat that he's SCARED of what he is and what he can do and beginning to think that he might need to be killed esp. because Dean thinks so and this has been a bad day for him... even though again his nature shone through, Dean thinks it was a "sneeze" and Jack still doesn't have a developed enough moral compass to understand what he did except that we can see it was a good thing.
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And final shot Jack reflected in the mirror all bloody and sad and I need to zoom in on that later to see his face because like magic the sun is out again when I want to look at the screen.
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End episode here. Good. That means Dean angstily listening to music is in 13x03 almost for sure because I want it to be (uh, sorry that's not science :P) but it would be a great Berens to Berens chat with self about 9x14 and Dean angstily listening to music there.
I am not actually where were we are any more except powering towards London, but I'm gonna put my laptop away because they're still topping up the champagne and I just survived a BL episode where nothing so awful happened that I can see the fandom outrage from a million miles away and the worst I can say is that they are an exposition machine and I wish they had more nuanced dialogue because in someone else's hands that character stuff would have been delivered well rather than just delivered :P
#13x02#my stuff#season 13 spoilers#I actually got some of this answered by Tink & co on whatsapp later#but then I had to explain my#look at this effin table#tag to them and me vs typos while texting and no signal in the bleak wilderness#yeah I hope they even have half a clue what I was on about :D#tomorrow I will have to make a post about wtf is going on with that table but tl:dr I flipped out about it completely#and regret that the last time i was drawn to make a Big Post about it it was from the Destiel perspective#with just a handful of codependency chat#because now I really really wish I had a big post about the codependency stuff there#with just a sprinkle of the Destiel stuff on the side#NOT PROOF READ HOLY SHIT LIKE NOT AT ALL WHO AM I WHERE AM I#I am lucky this entire post isn't soaked in a glaswegian's prosecco
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Day Five: I hate you. You’re a bad person - Friendship
Alistair Appreciation Week continues! Day Five is all about friendship!
At first, I was unsure of what I wanted to do for this... Buuut then I remembered how close Alistair and Zevran become in my fanfic in later chapters (not yet posted, I’m afraid) and this little scene just flowed for me. They really make great friends. At least, that’s my opinion XD I love their banter in-game, haha.
Takes place during Awakening. Enjoy!
Alistair let out a sigh. He and the wardens, that had joined him from Weisshaupt, worked diligently to take care of the last remaining bands of darkspawn in Ferelden. It was a daunting task, but one that needed to be done.
He just wished that he didn't have to be separated from his love.
I knew this was going to happen... that we would end up assigned to different things. I just wish it didn't happen so soon, he thought, sighing once more.
“Alistair, if you keep sighing like that then you'll make the other, more serious faced, wardens, throw you over the next ravine,” Zevran said from the human's side.
Alistair felt his cheeks redden in embarrassment. “Right, sorry...”
Zevran rolled his eyes when Alistair didn't retort with his usual sort of comeback. “Ah, missing Atrina, I see.”
Alistair hung his head a little. “...No point in denying it...”
Zevran shook his head. “My friend, I know you miss her, for I too miss mi amor...” he said in a wistful tone.
“I'm still surprised Wanda wanted to be a Warden... she hates the Deep Roads,” Alistair commented as he thought about the mage.
Zevran chuckled as he fingered his earring. “I tried to talk her out of it, but, alas, once Wanda has her mind set to something...”
Alistair hummed in understanding. “Just like Atrina... I suppose that's why they're friends, huh?” he said before letting out another sigh. “Her last letter has me worried...”
“Ah, the darkspawn appearing at Vigil's Keep, yes? I seem to recall having to stop you from leaving camp and marching all the way to Amaranthine.”
Alistair winced a little at the memory. “That's probably why the others have let you stay...”
“Quite right, though being sworn to secrecy or facing death is... disconcerting...”
Alistair shook his head. “I can see Wanda bringing down a whole mountain if they even tried it.”
Zevran smiled at the image. “Ah yes, mi amor would do that, wouldn't she?”
A smile lit Alistair's face as well. “And Atrina would have to talk her down before she did anything worse... and that's after the mountain falls.”
A chuckle left the elf. “Our women are formidable, no?”
Alistair poked the fire in front of them, keeping the flames alive. “Very...” He felt a hand on his shoulder before he looked to Zevran.
“We both know they can more than handle themselves, Alistair,” Zevran happily reminded him. “There's no reason to be worried. I mean, it helps no one, really.”
Alistair nodded a little. “You're right... I just...”
“Miss her? Can't stop thinking about her? Miss feeling her small bosom in your--”
“Zevran!” Alistair's face was bright red as the elf chuckled.
“What? Too spot on?”
Alistair groaned as he ran his gloved hand over his face. “Why do I even...”
“Because we're friends, Alistair,” Zevran said with a grin as the warden looked back at him in annoyance.
Alistair scoffed. “You're the most annoying friend ever then...”
“Ouch, my heart, Alistair, you have wounded me!” Zevran held his chest dramatically before falling into Alistair's lap. “Kiss me to make it better.”
Alistair rolled his eyes before standing up. Zevran fell to the ground with a groan.
“Ah... that was really uncalled for, my friend.”
“No, I think it's just what the healer ordered,” Alistair commented as he stepped over him.
Zevran chuckled as he sat up. “Glad to have you back, was getting tired of the mopey human who took your place.”
Alistair gave him a pointed look. “You're saying you've been acting like that just so I would stop sighing?”
“It wasn't just the sighing, Alistair,” Zevran began as he stood up and dusted off his leathers. “It was the sad eyes, the long moments of unusual silence, and your constant pacing when we weren't traveling or sitting.”
Alistair glanced away from him. “How is it you're your cheery self? Don't you miss Wanda?”
Zevran scoffed. “Of course I do! I dream about her every night,” he said as he walked up to him. “But just because we are apart doesn't mean she's not still here.” He placed a hand over his heart.
Alistair raised an eyebrow. “That's extremely corny of you.”
Zevran shrugged. “What can I say? Even I can be corny and sappy.”
A chuckle left Alistair as he shook his head. “Riiight, I still remember that awful poetry you serenaded to Wanda.”
A scoff left the elf as he looked insulted. “At least I was doing something, unlike you and your moments of 'Oh, Zevran, she doesn't see me that way! She ran from me when I kissed her!'”
Alistair felt himself heat up in embarrassment. “I-- I did not sound like that!”
Zevran chuckled. “No, but close!”
Alistair raised his fists as he groaned. Then he dropped his hands as he sighed. “You know what? At the time you helped me, so... thank you,” he said, earning a surprised look from him. “I don't remember if I ever told you that.”
Zevran's expression eased into a soft smile. “No... but you're welcome, nonetheless. You were my friend then and are my friend now, Alistair. It's been an honor helping you,” he said as he put his hand on the taller man's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Both in the field of battle and in the field of love.”
Alistair chuckled as he shook his head. “Glad to have you here, Zev.”
Zevran grinned. “I knew you would warm up to me eventually, Warden.”
Alistair rolled his eyes with a smile. “All right, all right.”
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Odd Socks - Bruce Wayne x Reader
Summary : Sometimes, Bruce likes to think about all the things he loves about you, just as a reminder that you’re the best thing that ever happened to him.
I hope this silly and short fic will cheer you up. If it doesn’t, sorry, I tried. I just felt suddenly inspired, while I’m in the doctor’s waiting room, and so wrote this...Wrote it on my phone, sorry if there’s any terrible mistakes. Anyway, here :
You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives
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There was things Bruce loved about you. A lot of things.
Whenever he felt sad, a bit under the weather, or if you two got into an argument...He would make a list of said things, often forgetting three quarters of all the reasons why he fell in love with you, all the reasons why, even after years of marriage, he was still head over heels for you, crazy about you and everything you did (even annoying him). Because, there really was A LOT of things he loved about you, listing them all in one sitting was impossible.
Yes, Bruce Wayne really enjoyed making lists about why you were so awesome, it often helped him cope with things (a boring meeting at Wayne Enterprise : list. Kidnapped by a villain and trying to resist torture : the thought of you, and the list would help him go through it).
And today, as you were lying on a hospital bed, hooked to machines that helped you breathe, he definitely needed to make a list...However, for the first time since he fell for you, it wasn’t really helping. On the contrary, slowly, as he was looking at your broken body on the bed, cursing the man who didn’t check his blind spot well enough and who cut you off while you were riding your motorcycle full speed on the freeway, he felt like this list was going to be the end of him...Because, if he lost all of those things he loved so much about you, how could he go on ? And yet, he kept listing it in his head, even though the thought of losing them, losing you, was unbearable.
1. He loves the way you always wear odd socks.
The first time he noticed, it was in your apartment, at the beginning of your relationship, as you were both chilling together on your couch. You had one red sock, and a black one.
The second time he noticed, he was tearing your clothes off and throwing you on his bed. You had one green sock, and a striped grey/blue one.
The third time he noticed, it was at the Manor. Alfred had just clean the entire house, and ordered every guests to take their shoes off...It was during a party Bruce was throwing, and it was very funny to see the richest people in Gotham take their shoes off, impressed and intimidated by Bruce Wayne’s butler. Most women were bare feet, as they had heels on, and others just had normal socks on. And then there were you, a yellow and black striped sock, like a bee, and a sock with little platypus on it. Very classy.
The fourth time he noticed, he asked you about it, and your answer made him chuckle :
-Life’s too short for matching socks. Like, I have better things to do alright ?
-...You’ve been binge watching Friends for the past three hours.
-Exactly my point.
The smile you gave him at that moment made him melt, and he hasn’t been able to stop himself from kissing you passionately. Oh damn he loved you, you and your odd socks.
2. He loves the way you never let anyone walk on your feet, not even him.
The first time he met you was at a charity event you had organized. Someone was giving you grief about something stupid (like the champagne not being good enough or something like that), and you were having none of it. You didn’t care how rich that woman was, you didn’t care if she wrote a big check. And when you told her that “respect is earned, not owned”, he fell for you on the spot.
One of his favorite thing was to see someone being rude with you, and you putting them back in their place by using your wits and sarcasms. It always made those boring social soiree eventful.
But even in everyday life, you never let anyone abuse you in any way. If someone made a comment about you dating Bruce for his money, you’d tell them off. If the media where spreading lies about you, you’d just agree with them. “Oh yes, I slept with every single rich men in Gotham and decided to settle down for Bruce cause he’s hot, and also the richest one”, in a tone that was clearly sarcasms that of course, everyone knew it wasn’t the truth, and the person who spread the rumors would become ridiculous.
He particularly love that glare you’d give some people. Like sometimes, you didn’t even have to speak, you’d just stare at someone intensely, and they’d apologize, or go away. Brilliant.
Even with your own children and him, you weren’t taking their shit. When one of your sons was acting out, you’d put them back in their place rather fast. You were the first one to render Damian speechless, in fact, with that skills of yours. Oh and your husband ? Whenever he was too broody, too cocky, too dark, too harsh, too whatever, in three words, you’d make him realize he was being a dick, and boom, your magic would change his mood radically. In a good way. Always.
3. He loves your smile. And your laugh.
It was a communicative smile. A contagious laugh. When you smiled, whoever was in the same room than you couldn’t help but do it too. And when your childlike giggle would resonate somewhere, soon enough, everyone in the room would burst out laughing.
You were the only one he knew who had such powers. Hell, you even were able to make him smile and laugh stupidly. And you were the first one that made Jason laugh like crazy after he came back to life, and that made Damian almost died laughing because of a very corny joke.
He loves when you can't get your breath because you’re laughing too hard, and whenever he sees you that happy there's this overwhelming feeling of happiness that makes him want to do anything he can to make you that happy again. You’re kind, You’re caring, You’re understanding, You’re funny. You’re the most wonderful person he ever met, but when you do that laugh... That's what keeps reminding him why he loves you.
4. He loves how compassionate and empathic you are.
People’s need always came before your own. Sometimes, he hated that, because he wanted you to take care of yourself...but most times, he thought it was the best thing in the world. You were the best thing in the World.
You always took care of everyone, without expecting anything in return. This was precious. He loved the fact that you were so nice, and he was just a grumpy asswhat most of the time...And yet, you couldn’t be more perfect for each others.
5. He loves the fact that you cry like a baby when you watch a sad movie, or read a sad book.
The way you’d curl up against him for comfort, tears in your eyes because the family dog died in this film, or because the father figure passed away in this story...He lived for it. He just love how sensitive you could be, how easily you could let things go...and how you helped him let go more often than not.
6. He loves the fact that you never hogged the blanket in bed.
Quite the contrary really, you were often too hot (you liked the cold way better), so instead of pulling the blanket to you, you’d throw everything on him. He liked to be warm. He particularly loved when, early in the morning, you’d get a bit cold, and sneak under the comforter to snuggle against him, his arms going automatically around you...Contrary to popular belief, the Batman was very cuddly, and actually couldn’t fall asleep if he didn’t touch you in any way.
7. He loves the feel of your lips on his.
Your kisses were always great. Short, long, lingering, tonguy, peck, passionate, desperate, needy, hot, giggly, sneaky...He loved all of them. All of the ways you’d kiss him. But his favorite were the one he gave you when you were sleeping, and selfishly, he knew it would wake you up, and the way you’d automatically respond to it, still sleepy, was just his favorite.
8. He loves the fact that you often sing or hum movie soundtracks.
Whatever you do in the house, he can always hear your voice humming, whistling or singing something. It’s often the Indiana Jones theme tunes, because you love those movies...But no matter what you sing, he just loves it. You’re terrible at it, oh God such an awful singer, but it’s like a little kid singing around. So sweet and cute.
9. He loves the way you often run your fingers on his body absentmindedly.
The tip of your fingers brushing his naked skin, making him shiver without you realizing it. It always drives him crazy, and you don’t even know it.
10. He loves how focus you look when you write.
You’re so passionate about the things you do...He admires you greatly because of this. Besides, the way your tongue sucks out of your mouth whenever you’re really concentrated, it’s just too cute.
11. He loves how you think about him in little ways.
Leaving him post-it notes to tell him how much you love him, or sometimes to just write stupid things that are sure to make him laugh...Or blush, if you’re in a bit of a naughty mood. Getting him the food he likes. Asking him about things you know he’s interested in...Just, the little things you know, but the little things that meant so damn much, and made his heart flutter in happiness.
12. He loves when you just randomly make trust falls.
Like, you’d walk besides him, and all of a sudden yell “Timber !” and fall forward or backward. His heart would drop every time, scared for you, until his arms would just automatically catch you, and you’d smile at him, kissing him. He never let you fall once.
13. He loves how goofy you could be.
It made him let go too, and just be silly and goofy. You’d take weird voices, flap your arms like a bird and try to peck him, act like a pouty child but not in an annoying way, demand to play hide and seek etc etc...And the best things was that, this side you both had, only you and him knew about it.
14. He loves how reassuring and supportive you are.
Sometimes, he would be insecure, scared etc etc...about everything. He’d question his nightly actions, he’d wonder if he was doing the right thing. He’d have a nightmare and...you’d be here. No matter what. Even if he was being the worst asshole in the universe, you’d never give up on him. The way you run your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp lovingly, was the soothing thing he ever felt...Without you, he was pretty sure that he would have cracked already.
15.He loves when you sit on his back while he’s doing push-ups.
He just loves it. You often read as he goes up and down, kissing him sometimes to encourage him. It makes him feel all fuzzy inside. When he trains, you’re always around, and he likes that. Another thing he loves besides you sitting on his back, is when he does pull ups, and your on his back, as if he was giving you a piggy back ride. He lives for the small kisses you leave on his shoulders.
16.He loves the way you helped him raising your children.
You were a cool mom. A fair one. You didn't have a favorite, and always made time for all of them (a day a week, when they had free times, you’d spent the day with each one. Dick was on Tuesdays, Jason had Thursdays, Damian Sundays, and Tim loved his Fridays with you).
You were always there to listen to them, something he found difficult to do. He wasn’t always good with words, and often had difficulties conveying his emotions in the right way..He made sure his sons knew he loved them, but sometimes, when they needed advices (about anything), you were the one they came to.
He couldn’t be thankful enough to have you in his life. You always seemed to find solutions to problems he thought were impossible to resolve. And...You were there. Just that. You always had the best advices, and you just showed your love for all of them in ways that they all felt like the most important person in the universe. All of them. Equally.
17. He loves th...You were moving.
After a week of coma, not uttering even a slight move, hooked on machines helping you to breathe, you were moving. Finally.
You squeezed the hand he was holding, and opened your eyes.
You didn’t say anything, you couldn’t, still too weak for that.
But you locked your gaze with his, and all the stress and fear had felt for your life this past week disappeared (or almost).
17. He loves the way you looked at him.
And as he bent down to kiss you tenderly, he stopped making the list. He didn’t need to anymore, you were there again, back to him.
#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne imagine#bruce wayne fanfiction#batman x reader#batfam#batfamily#Batman imagine#Bruce Wayne reader insert#Batman reader insert#Batmom#Batmom x Bruce Wayne#Batmom x Batman#fluff#fluffy love for the Dark knight
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Love Letters
Pairing: Zach Dempsey x Reader
Request: zach dempsey fluff please!!
Words: 1.735
A/N: This is my first Zach imagine and I hope that you guys like it. This is my last post until friday night, since I’ll be going back to school tomorrow. I am still writing and I can see the feedbacks and requests if there are some. I hope that you guys bear with me and I hope that you understand. Thank you so much, guys.
- G.
Warning: Swearing
Peer Communications was one of the subjects you looked up to everyday and you loved it because you learnt how to behave with people and how to communicate with them. You sometimes asked for help whenever you were down and needed some advices. You also studied some psychological topics and it helped you to be more empathic towards other people.
One more thing you liked about it was the notes of encouragement bag. You could write some anonymous notes to people and put it in their bag. Its purpose was to encourage people so they would value their self-esteem and their existence in this world.
You thought that the idea was amazing and innovative, because it has been awhile since you’ve been secretly receiving love letters from someone from your class. You could admit that the person perfectly cheered you up, making you more confident whenever they would leave one in your bag, but it didn’t help you to kill your curiosity to find out who the person was.
“(Y/N), you look so pretty whenever you smile and it melts me every time I see your lips curving and with those perfect white teeth of yours exposing.” Alex read that little piece of paper with a smirk as you were talking about your secret admirer.
You two were in the library with Zach and Jessica while you were waiting for your next subject: Peer Communications.
“Aw, that’s so sweet.” Jessica complimented as she took the piece of paper from Alex’s hand and read it once again, with a lower tone this time.
“It is.” You bit your lip as you tried not to smile too much because of it. “I wonder who it is.” You wouldn’t sleep sometimes because of it and, being your ultimate crush, you kind of wished that it was Zach.
“Jesus Christ, that’s too damn corny!” Zach complaint and shook his head.
“Stop being jealous, Dempsey.” You winked at him as you teased him, but you were absolutely broken hearted for his reaction. You shrugged it off since you hinted that he was having a bad day, because he just gathered his things and walked away. “Zach!” You shouted as you tried to stop him.
“Zachary Dempsey!” Jessica tried to stop him too, but he just ignored you and he got out of the library, annoyed and vexed.
“Shh!” The old and stressed librarian scolded you and you just flashed her an apologetic smile. You were embarrassed, because you got some looks from your other fellow students and you heard soft giggles from Alex.
“I’m pulling your septum ring away if you don’t stop.” You threatened him and he suddenly closed his mouth, rolling his eyes. “Just kidding, Standall!” You and Jessica then giggled silently and Alex shook his head.
“(Y/N),” Alex became serious as he looked at you, straight into your eyes. “I think he’s jealous.”
“Jealous? Who?” You corrugated your forehead as you couldn’t understand what he was talking about.
“Jesus,” He let his face fall on his hands as he unleashed a long and deep sigh. “Zach!”
“What the fuck are you saying Alex?” You snatched a piece of paper from Alex’s hand and you started to gather your things. It was impossible that Zach was jealous, how could he? Didn’t he think that those stuffs were damn corny? “Don’t think about it that way, Mr. I jump into conclusions easily.”
“Why the fuck are these people so touchy?” Alex complaint as he looked at Jessica and pointed at you. You and Jessica both chuckled because Alex thought that you were annoyed and frustrated.
“I’m not being touchy, bro!” You defended yourself and you looked at your wrist watch for the time. “We’re going to be late if you don’t get your ass up.”
“Alright, let’s go.” They started to gather their things and you all went out of the library as you headed to your next class.
“Wait, I forgot my book!” Jessica exclaimed as she was controlling the books in her bag. “(Y/N), mind joining me?”
“Oh, sure!” You smiled at her and you were about to go away, when Alex stopped you.
“I’ll go with her, go inside the class (Y/N) and save us our seats.” Alex proposed and you just shrugged it off. They both went to Jessica’s locker and you entered your room.
“Zach?” You were surprised to see Zach and he was about to put a piece of paper inside your encouragement bag. How? You thought he never liked those stuffs.
“(Y/N)!” His eyes widened as he saw you entering the room. He didn’t expect to see you and he was frightened because you caught him. “Uhm, I- I…” He stuttered and he didn’t know what to say.
“You are my secret admirer?” You corrugated your forehead as you brought your hand to your slightly opened mouth, shocked of the revelation.
“Uhm,” He wandered around the room as he felt nervous and you could see that he was blushing. “read this.” He walked closer to you and handed you the paper, instead of putting it in your bag. He was already caught in action, why would he even escape?
“Thank you.” You shyly said as you carefully accepted the paper from his hand. You slowly opened the folded paper and you were honestly excited to read what was written in it.
Dear (Y/N),
Hi! How are you? I know that it’s been awhile since you started receiving love letters from me and your curiosity is killing you every time, I always see you frustrated after reading my notes. Anyway, I know that I suck at writing, but I wanted to let you know that I am liking you more and more every day. I am happy to be your friend and being just a friend is enough for me, if you don’t feel the same way. I sometimes hope that you feel or will feel the same way about me too, anyway. I am keeping my fingers crossed,
Take care always, Zach.
You silently read the short letter as the two of you stood in the middle of your classroom. You looked at Zach and you flashed him a sweet smile. Your heartbeat was getting louder and you became nervous and enthusiastically happy at the same time.
You wondered, though, why he acted strange earlier if he felt that way? Why would he be jealous, like what Alex hypothesized? Damn, look what Alex could do at you!
“Zach, you are the sweetest person ever.” He smiled at you and he pulled you into a hug.
“I understand if you don’t feel the same way about me,” You hugged him back and you were amazed by the height difference that you both had. He was surely tall and you had to admit that you felt a little bit small. “your friendship is enough.” He murmured and you could hear in his voice that he was wishing for more.
“Zach,” You broke the hug so you could see his handsome face. “you are sweet, kind and funny. It’s not impossible to not like you back.” You honestly confessed back and you quickly saw a wide smile forming on his lips, while he fidgeted with his fingers and looking at his shoes, as if they were the most interesting things in the world.
It was true that you had a crush on him for a while now and you never had the guts to admit it because you thought that it was the boy who should do the first step. Yup, old style.
“Rosie’s tonight then?” He happily asked. “So, we can talk about it.”
“Yeah, sure!” You hyperactively nodded and he let out some soft laughs.
You and Zach stared at each other for a while and you both didn’t know what to say because the awkward atmosphere. At that moment, you hated your classmates for not coming inside the classroom until the bell rang and you hated Jessica and Alex because they were taking too much time to get the freaking damn book.
“Zach!” You suddenly blurted out as you remembered that something was bothering you. “Why did you say that those stuffs were corny if you were the one who writes them?”
“The one that Alex has read wasn’t from me.” He seemed disturbed at the thought of that little letter.
“So, you were really jealous?” You smirked as you teased him and he rolled his eyes.
“Uhm, yes,” He almost whispered as he answered your question sincerely. He looked at the ground as he tried to hide his reddish face. “because I saw that you were so happy because of it and I thought that you didn’t like me and you liked that one, instead.“ He explained and you just giggled. You didn’t know that he was that possessive and you honestly loved it. A possessive and overprotective boyfriend was what you were asking for.
“Silly!” You shook your head because he thought that you didn’t like him. “I still wonder who wrote that note though.”
“My fault!” Alex entered the classroom and winked at Zach, who was already giving him a death glare. You raised an eyebrow as you asked for explanations from that vexatious friend of yours. “I knew that he liked you and I told you that he was jealous.”
“Damn it, Standall!” Zach complaint, but Alex didn’t seem to care that much. You smiled because you understood what he tried to do and you couldn’t help but to love that idiot even more, of course, as a friend.
“Congrats!” He cheerfully teased the two of you. “By the way, I really thought that you have a really nice and perfect smile, (Y/N), and I can confirm it now.” He pointed it out as he saw you smiling widely for his actions.
You shook your head together with and stopped as soon as the bell rang. You went to your seats as the other students came inside the room. You kept on getting smirks and teasing winks from Alex, but you just threw him a crumpled paper in response.
Your favourite subject was about to start and you wanted to thank your teacher for making those bags of encouragement up. It was really a useful and a pleasant idea.
At least, it helped you to be more confident and it has got you a date for that night.
#zach dempsey#zach dempsey x reader#alex standall x reader#jessica davis x reader#alex standall#jessica davis#clay jensen#ross butler#hannah baker#Justin foley#jeff atkins#jeff atkins deserved better#tony padilla#13 reasons why#13rw#13 reasons why imagine#13rwedit#13rw imagines#xbarrjallenx#request#masterlist
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What the Raptors’ NBA championship means for Drake
That OVO and that XO ... the Toronto Raptors at his next show?
The Toronto Raptors secured their first NBA championship on Thursday night in Oracle Arena’s farewell, beating the Warriors in a fitting six games. Drake, who has been known to cheer for every team that has ever existed, finally had his hometown team win a title in his lifetime.
Drake’s history with the Raptors runs deep: He was named an ambassador to the team in 2013, the Raptors have worn gold and black OVO alternate uniforms in his honor, both he and the Raptors have pledged more than $1 million to fix local community basketball courts, and he’s often seen courtside at games. He even almost VERY unwisely started a fight with Kendrick Perkins last year.
He’s been all over the place with his sports fandom — which has given us all plenty to discuss over the years — but the Raptors’ title, in particular, means a lot for Drake.
For starters, he’s probably going to try to make postgame Source Award Death Row-esque rants to the media happen more often in the future.
Drake delivered one of these rants (which became a good meme) after the Raptors’ Game 5 win against the Bucks in the Eastern Conference Finals. So after the Raptors secured the title, he was back for seconds on the biggest stage:
.@drake says this is poetic. #WeTheNorth pic.twitter.com/hpMEwGmtm0
— Carlan Gay (@TheCarlanGay) June 14, 2019
Now, just because you try to look and sound authoritative about something, doesn’t mean you are. Drake’s has always tried to show a hard, Tough Guy exterior, but we’ve known him to be otherwise in reality.
Here’s a good chunk of what Drake said in bold, annotated in italics:
Man listen, this is poetic. This is poetic, you just gotta watch it happen. OK, solid start.
The six in six. Predictable, but fine.
Kyle Lowry with a ring. Kawhi Leonard, bringing a chip to the city. Alright, still fine.
I want my chips with the dip, that’s all I know. What lmao?
I don’t want my chips plain. I want my chips with the dip. So bring them dips. [TFW you are an upset upper middle class citizen at a party.]
That dynasty’s over. We did what we had to do. Praying for KD. Back on track!
Praying for Big Papi. But tonight belongs to Toronto. OK, nope, definitely don’t wish well for Big Papi after this week’s incident and then throw a big ‘ol BUT on there!
Perhaps he should get somebody to write these ahead of time as well, because this certainly won’t be the last time he does this.
He’s less likely to claim other teams, now that his hometown Raptors have claim to a title.
(OK, not sure about that one actually.)
However, we are getting a couple of new songs.
While Big Drunk on Instagram live after the Raptors’ win, Drake said he had two songs dropping Friday, and also posted the artwork on his IG:
View this post on Instagram
THE CHIP TO THE 6!!!!!!!!!!!! SEE YOU 2MRW WITH A 2 PACK LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
A post shared by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Jun 13, 2019 at 9:50pm PDT
The songs are nothing he couldn’t have had prepared and ready to fire off. As annoying and corny (among other things) as he can be, there’s no doubting he’s a talented artist. However, depending on his mood (read: does he want to be a try-hard), this could either be either great or awful.
This may not be the only championship music we get from Drake, either.
At least, it seems unlikely that would just forego using imagery from these Finals in his songs at some point. After all, this is the guy who used a picture of Joe Carter on his “Back to Back” diss of Meek Mill.
Some of that imagery may very well appear on the tracks we hear Friday. Drake could use Kawhi’s postgame podium speech as an intro, similar to how he sampled “Jimmy Smith Rap” on “Pound Cake” with Jay-Z:
“Last summer, man. I was going through a lot. I had a great support system and kept working hard, working hard. I had my mind set on this goal right here. I came to a team with a new coach. That mindset was the same as mine. Trying to get that Larry O’B over there. This is what I play basketball for, this is what I work out for all summer, and during the season. I’m glad my hard work paid off.”
Depending on how #online Drake is, it could also be SB Nation writer Zito Madu’s brother, internet famous for his relatable feelings on Kyle Lowry:
Told my little brother that Kyle Lowry signed back with the Raptors pic.twitter.com/DOx62EMw3U
— Zito (@_Zeets) July 4, 2017
The outro to one of the tracks lies somewhere in here:
Just did a really cool interview with Kawhi and Kyle Lowry, about how they got here and everything this title means, and here’s what happened before we even started rolling. Special. pic.twitter.com/jpZIBJlxdI
— Rachel Nichols (@Rachel__Nichols) June 14, 2019
The artwork for the track can be either Pascal Siakam on SportsCenter with Scott Van Pelt:
Pascal Siakim is a damn legend already pic.twitter.com/sUb2NfMqdk
— Board Man Gets Paid (@cjzero) June 14, 2019
OR this image from Game 1 of the Finals with him and Stephen Curry, which seems preferable for Aubrey:
drake’s absolutely making this the artwork for a single if the raptors win this series pic.twitter.com/Nj6YpsLrkj
— Harry Lyles Jr. (@harrylylesjr) May 31, 2019
Also, because Drake got what he wanted in the end, you can expect him to throw some well-wishing bars in there for Kevin Durant and Klay Thompson, who could both miss the 2019-20 season with their respective injuries.
Of course, it’s still all love between him and the Warriors, as evidenced by his FaceTime chat with Curry after the series:
.@StephenCurry30's full phone conversation with @Drake congratulating him on the @Raptors' championship—only on CloseUp360. #CU360 #NBAFinals pic.twitter.com/mKjAKHS3RS
— CloseUp360 (@CloseUp360) June 14, 2019
The OVO ghostwriters are going to be busy this summer.
Music aside, tattoo(s) are definitely on the way.
No duh, right? If you look at Drake’s resume of tats, this is a safe bet. Drake has 34 tattoos, which include portraits of Lil Wayne, his dad, Sade, Rihanna eating ice cream (I know, jeez), his uncle Steve, grandmother Evelyn Sher, Aaliyah, and his mom Sandi.
Of course, there’s also his Curry and Durant number tattoos as well. He kind of has to put something Raptors on there. Perhaps Kyle Lowry’s stat line from Game 6, or Zito’s brother.
Many more Instagram posts are on the way as well.
This is one of the most predictable posts ever:
View this post on Instagram
Got one.
A post shared by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Jun 14, 2019 at 12:19am PDT
Photoshop is a gift and a curse.
His last hurrah will be at the parade.
Drake probably understands that his last chance to cement his legacy forever with this Raptors team is to do something at the parade. It’s why we remember Mark Madsen, it’s why we still yell in our best Shaq voice, “CAN YOU DIG IT!?”, and it’s why Jordan Bell is our Hennessy overlord.
The thing with Drake is, we just don’t know how far he’ll take it. But we do know he has no problem pushing boundaries, which we’ve known to be good, and sometimes bad for him.
The Summer of (NBA Champion Toronto Raptors Fan) Drake is upon us.
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Power Rangers Movie Positive Rant (mostly)
WARNING! MAJOR SPOILERS AND GUSHING! ALSO SOME CRITICISM! Okay for those of you who haven't seen it I'd suggest it. It's worth it as long as you expect what it which surprisingly most people don't seem to understand. It was a reboot. That means it's going to have just as corny silly stuff as the original but it's 2017 and it's time to add some depth. And MAN did it add depth! But I went to the movie expecting that kind of reboot. There are some problems and I'm going to post some spoilers. I know sometimes I need to know what's going to happen to give a movie a chance. So if you're like me about that or maybe just this movie here you go, problems you should be aware of: 1. The white guy leads. There are 5 characters with different genders and colors of skin but the 1 white guy becomes the leader. The only reason this isn't a deal breaker is because of what they do with the rest. I'll put that later though. 2. For all the proper diversity there really is only one black person. I'm not even sure there were extras. I would count his mom but we litterally only see a blip of her. 3. The tones are a struggle if you don't get the reason but basically suits are on it gets silly (but also cool! Especially if you loved the show!) suits are off and it gets serious. 4. Product placement. Completely shameless product placement. I used to work for Krispy Kreme and considering how low tech old fashioned a business they were and especially considering our usual customers were almost always over 50, I actually think it was a smart choice. And I'm impressed by not only the choice but how they made their selves so integral to the actual plot. But it is blatant annoying and distracting. I just understand why they did it. 5. Good writing but bad writing. OK everyone has an origin. Everyone is well explained. Everyone reacts to their origin realistically. Every origin is not only beautiful it actually made some skeptical viewers cry. BUT we don't exactly get to see these way more emotionally interesting stories. We see them keep secrets then reveal it later and we see again realistic reactions but we get seconds of them actually going through it. 6. If you're a hard core fan and you're just here for the suits I'd suggest sending in a friend who can come get you when they FINALLY get them on because almost the whole movie is about them learning how to get the damn things on. I wouldn't have minded but it did piss me off when there were plenty of opportunities. They have to be connected and care about each other or no suits. K fine but they show many instances of caring about each other where they should have put the suits on, but didn't. And you can't tell me it's because they weren't trying because one of them did it on accident first. Because he cared about the entire team. If that's the rules then they should have put the suits on right after the campfire scene! Alright those are the only real problems. Here are the reasons you should go see it anyway: 1. Damn with the shock value! These guys know how to make the "dead always come back and main characters never die" thing actually shocking! Even though you know they can't kill that guy off or the world's not really going to end somewhere in the back of your head, this movie knows how to make you doubt it. They ACTUALLY make you worry about the world and the good guys! 2. Damn the depth! I mean I know we said we don't get to see it but what we know and do see means this movie isn't afraid to hit everything it can. Not all the rangers are perfect people who are just misunderstood. These are teenagers who act like teenagers. They do stupid stuff. They lash out. They have attitude and good reason for it. They have moments of doubt. There is more to Rita than in the show (don't get too excited she's brushed over too). She's the villian if you haven't seen the show. There's more to Zordon.(sp?) He's the guide and if you haven't seen the show and you don't know what that means it means he's the Dumbledore or professor X of the story although he's not great at it because of his own depth. There's just so many emotional story points and there really is a good story here. 3. Damn the excellent diversity! This needs to be here as a general but I'm going to address each one because they all really deserve their own reasons. They were handled perfectly! I addressed the ONLY representation problems but imo they mad up with just how many problems people usually have with deversity in movies or TV they completely obliterate. I gaurentee you will feel represented and as an actual person if you are black, gay or have a mental disorder. The usual things you see just aren't there with sadly the exception of the 1st 2 things I mentioned. But dude you don't understand. 4. The black guy is THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER! And is BLATANT my friend. He has the best lines, the most lines and is genuinely the best person in the group. He's really the only one who always has pure unselfish intentions and he is the most accepting person. He basically is the plot all by himself. He is the 1st to get his suit. He finds out where the important thing is, BIGGEST MAJOR SPOILER! LOOK FOR "END SPOILER" IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE!!! He's the one who dies but he doesn't stay dead so no not that trope either. END SPOILER. He is responsible for uniting them as a team oh! And did I mention he is a genious and if he doesn't have the most screen time he steals the show so much it feels like it. If there's anyone you're not going to forget it's him. 5. Ok this is the same character but Damn! Double whammy representation. This guy is also AUTISTIC! Don't get me wrong I don't know anyone who is autistic but I was almost diagnosed with autism as both my parents thought I might be and some doctors wondered but some basic questions proved that no I was just extremely ADD which is thought to be on the same scale and if that's true I definitely found myself relating to the guy. I THINK it was correct but I honestly don't know. Here's what I DO know they got right. It wasn't a joke. It wasn't "oh look this guys wrong in the head and it's funny just because of that" It also wasn't pure sympathy or a crutch that makes you feel like life is impossible. It wasn't "oh poor little autistic kid can't make friends or take care of himself or have a normal life" Yes he had some comic relief loosely based on his condition but mostly he was just funny. His condition was a TRAIT AND NOT A PERSONALITY! And that just made it amazing to watch! 6. The lesbian with no girlfriend. I have to say it most of the time of a lesbian is involved it means they can never be single and it's all about the sex or making out. It's pandering which I actually is a good thing but to the wrong people. This movie doesn't pretend being a lesbian means you're some sex driven goddess. You're not guaranteed to flirt with every girl. You're not guaranteed a girlfriend. You don't have a giant obvious sign saying "hey girls just so you know I'm lesbian if you're looking for one and guys back off!" And you don't necessarily have or ever get the courage to tell your over conforming family. and even if they probably wouldn't approve that doesn't mean they're awful or abusive they just aren't likely to understand. We see her parents and her mom definitely needs to take a chill pill but otherwise it's a normal kind family. 7. The other 2 aren't white and there's barely a comment on their diversity. There's literally one line and if you blink you'll miss it. They don't toot their own horn or talk about the importance or problems of diversity and honesty if you're not looking you won't notice. It's a story not a political move. 8. Alpha 5 kicks ass! He doesn't change much from the source material but I remember the 1 thing that bothered me about him was how pathetic he was. He was like the scare damsel in the show. He'd get scared and the rangers get defensive. Nope! The 1st thing he does is drag one of them like a ragdoll. They try to fight him and they get their collective asses kicked! I would actually love to see him fight Rita it might be a fairer fight than you 1st think. 9. Fanservice! Yes they do the group walk. Yes they fight the minions. Yes they get the zords (sp?). Yes they make a giant robot to fight a giant monster and yes the stake are high but it's still silly and it's still action packed 10. Learning curve. Weird new thing they don't automatically know what they're doing! 11. The playoff at the end. The knowing smiles when they listen to their families gush over all of the power rangers and know each color. 12. Nothing is magically better. The sick are still sick. The judgemental remain that way. And the hurt aren't magically forgiving. But everyone is on a "that was unbelievable and awesome" high.
#power rangers#power rangers movie#krispykreme#spoilers#rant#awesome#diversity#representation#POC#Lesbian#autism
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Corny songs
Summary: Jared watches as Jensen sings Brother by Needtobreathe at VegasCon17. Fandom: Supernatural cast Characters: Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles Relationships: none / bromance Rating: general audiences Words: 1,896 Warnings: idk, kinda fluff? ahah Notes: English is not my first language, so if you find any mistakes you’re kindly invited to tell me so that I can rewrite it :) Also I have no idea if Jared was there during the concert, and if he was I guess he probably wasn’t hidden behind the crowd, but hey this is fiction after all so just roll with it
The room is crowded – even more so than usual, it would seem – and the girls are extremely loud, tonight. It’s difficult to understand what Jensen is saying, but it doesn’t matter. Jared is partially hidden at the back of the room, surrounded by bodyguards, and he feels lucky because ne one seems to have seen him. For once, he gets to just be one face in the crowd, enjoying the show. He hears the girls scream, all of them freaking out at the view of Jensen’s tight jeans that wrap his long legs and the leather jacket that fits perfectly his broad shoulders, partly covering the V-neck shirt underneath that highlights the muscles of his torso: Jared’s not even aware that he’s noticed all this, because it’s not the point, he doesn’t care, unlike all those girls around him. He’s watching Jensen with the distant awe of the visitor in a museum: distant, in fact, amazed by the aesthetic but in search of the hidden meaning, of the inner essence of a work of art – and he knows Jensen’s inner essence, he’s one of the few people that really do and he’s incredibly grateful for that. This is the way Jared is looking at Jensen right now: like a little brother looking up at his big bro in admiration. At some point, a sentence of Jensen’s speech stands out among the shouts of the crowd and catches his attention. “We are gonna try something a little new here… that we just thought was an appropriate song, given the basis of our show.” Jared frowns, curious. So, a new song, apparently. One that he’s never sang before. What’s it gonna be? The music starts and Jared shifts the weight on his feet. The first notes wake up a warmth in his chest, something familiar and cozy. The beginning of the song feels like coming home after a stressful day of work and slipping into one’s pajamas, the TV remote in one hand and a warm cup of tea in the other. Not that Jared is a great fan of tea. He actually prefers junk food and coke, that’s a fact. But you get the meaning. This is how Jared is feeling, and the song has barely even started. He’s sure he heard it before, he clearly remembers being with Jensen and listening to that song, he just can’t remember anything else. And then Jensen starts singing – and something clicks inside Jared’s head. Or rather, inside Jared’s heart. “Ramblers in the wilderness, we can’t find what we need / Get a little restless from the searching, get a little worn down in between…” Now he remembers. They were on set, tired after shooting an emotional scene for an upcoming episode, and some guys of the crew approached them: they wanted to post a video on the internet for the SPN Family Love campaign, and they wanted Jared and Jensen’s opinion about the background music. “It’s a song that’s very popular among the fans”, they told them, so they gathered together to watch the video. Jared remembers the footage about the campaign: it was already emotional per se, but that moment had stuck with him especially for the song. That song. He had never heard it before, but as soon as he started understanding the lyrics he knew it was right. It was right for the video, it was right for the campaign, but most of all it was right for the show, it was right for the Winchesters… and it was right for them. As in, Jared and Jensen. He remembers looking away from the screen to meet Jensen’s eyes, that were already on him: they looked at each other, said nothing, and that was it. They didn’t even have to nod, or make any other gesture. They just looked at each other and it was set. The crew around them understood what that look meant, because they had already seen it – on camera and off camera: it was the Winchester brothers look that could express everything without a spoken word, it was the silent look that now, after twelve years, belonged to Jared and Jensen too. Jared snaps back to reality, his attention now fully focused on his best friend again. He’s not even capable of thinking, he’s just watching as Jensen moves on stage like the rockstar that he is and listening to those words they both know so well by now. “Like a bull chasing the matador is the man left to his own schemes / Everybody needs someone beside ‘em shining like a lighthouse from the sea.” Then, the chorus explodes from the amplifiers like a storm, and Jared can feel his heart swell, almost smothering him. “Brother, let me be your shelter / Never leave you all alone / I can be the one you call / When you’re low…” Suddenly the lights on the ceiling are too bright, the cheers from the crowd are deafening, his legs are weak: it’s overwhelming, and all he can do is stare at Jensen, mouth slightly open, trying to catch his breath. “Brother, let me be your fortress / When the night winds are driving on / Be the one to light the way / Bring you home.” Jensen is singing with his eyes closed, and when he gets to the middle of the chorus he raises a hand and places it on his heart. Jared kind of misses all the second verse trying to calm himself down. He sees Jensen addressing the crowd when he sings about coming home, but he know he’s actually talking about him. Maybe he doesn’t know that Jared’s here in this room, but it doesn’t matter: Jared remembers the way those green eyes looked at him when they were listening to that song that day on set, drinking every single word, absorbing the meaning into their own souls, together, far away from the people that were there with them. That’s why he knows he’s talking to him: no matter how many people there are in this world, the only two that really mean something are them. By the time the second chorus hits, Jared finds himself humming to the music, letting himself go, getting lost in the melody. Then, the bridge comes. “And when you call and need me near / Sayin’ where’d you go?, brother, I’m right here / And on those days when the sky begins to fall / You’re the blood of my blood, we can get through it all.” At that point he doesn’t even notice when some of their colleagues climb on stage to sing the acoustic chorus together. He just beats his foot on the floor, following the rhythm, and discreetly moves his lips to match the words Jensen is singing while clapping his hands above his head. At the end, he’s full-on singing, ignoring the heartache as best as he can. By the end of the song, he has to dry a tear with the back of his hand. The other actors are gone now, and Richard starts playing the intro of Whipping post on his bass – “yeah, I know the lyrics” says an irritated Jensen – but Jared doesn’t care anymore. He slips throught the door and finds himself in an empty corridor: one of his bodyguards follows him, but he shakes his head and asks to be left alone. The man nods and goes back inside, giving him the privacy he needs. Jared takes his black beanie from the pocket – he had taken it off when it was too hot to go around with that thing on his head – and puts it on. It’s his security blanket, after all. A tangible piece of his comfort zone, under which he feels irrationally safe. And messy-haired, of course. But especially safe. He takes a minute to just breathe and stare at the wall before him, without actually seeing it. He fidgets with his To Write Love On Her Arms bracelet, that Jensen gave him after a pretty hard crisis he’s had some time ago, but he doesn’t notice he’s doing it. Then, when his breath is more steady, he heads towards the other door at the end of the corridor. He opens it and he finds himself in the backstage. A guy of the security team stands beside the door and lets him in. He steps inside and closes the door behind himself. Briana waves at him, but he just smiles slightly, then carries on. On his left, Ruth is talking with Misha, just hanging out, joking, showing each other something on their phones. Jared doesn’t even see them. He moves around the backstage like a ghost, then hears the crowd cheering and clapping louder than before, and suddenly Jensen is coming down the few steps of the stage, on this side of the black curtain, into the backstage. He looks down, incoherently shy – a moment ago he was on stage, rocking the hell out of that song and overall being a badass, and now he won’t even meet the eyes of his friends who have surrounded him to pat him on the back and tell him how amazing he’s been. That’s why he’s such a wonderful human being, Jared thinks. He stares from a distance, incapable of moving. He’s just focused on Jensen, totally unaware of himself. After a minute, the group of people around Jensen starts to scatter, and he finally looks up at Jared. At that moment Jared realizes how weird he must look, staring at him like that, but he can’t look away. Jensen apologizes to the few that are still around him and goes towards Jared, patting him on the shoulder. “Hey, buddy.” Jared swallows some saliva. “Hey, man. Great performance, I’ve been told.” ���Didn’t see it?”, he asks, with a skeptical smile. “Yeah, I did”, Jared confesses, and they both laugh a bit. “Just wanted to pretend I wasn’t aware of how corny you can be sometimes.” Jensen snorts. “Oh, come on…” “Just sayin’, Mister One-perfect-tear.” “You’re just gettin’ started, aren’t you?”, asks Jensen, pretending to be annoyed. “We agreed not to prank each other, at least let me tease you.” “Thought you would like the song.” Jared stops. Then says: “I did like the song.” “Good.” Jensen stares quietly at him, then pulls him in for a hug, grabbing a handful of Jared’s shirt with his fist while the other hand rests on the back of his head. They both stay silent, just leaning on each other, in a full-on season-finale, end-of-the-world Winchester hug. Then Jared breaks the silence. “There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you, you know that, right?” Jensen freezes, clearly embarassed. He pulls away from Jared and looks him deadly in the eyes. “Sissy.” Jared rolls his eyes: his face starts to look terribly similar to Sam Winchester’s bitchface, but Jensen is already behind him and doesn’t see it: he takes away Jared’s beanie, then throws it behind his back. Jared turns around just in time to grab it and watch Jensen go. “So”, says Jensen, walking away, “fancy a beer or you want some pop-corn, since you’re the corny one today, apparently?” Jared sighs, looking down and shaking his head with a smile on his face. Then he follows him.
#j2#j2 fics#j2 fanfic#vegascon#vegascon17#vegascon2017#spn#spnfamily#jared padalecki#jensen ackles#needtobreathe#brother#spn fic#rockstar!jensen#art#artists#artistis on tumblr#female artists#fiction#fics#my fics#fanfic#fanfics
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