#i feel like these movies kinda have the same protagonist and i love her and i want to see her again

[celine-song]

My Old Ass (2024) dir. Megan Park

[melancholic-fig]

What I loved about the Substance was that it took impossible body standards imposed on women seriously. It didn't treat me like a kid throwing a temper tantrum about not being sexy. It didn't try to tell me "everyone is beautiful" and "every body is a beach body" in a pitiable voice that makes it all worse. There's no one singing to me about how "I cannot see my own beauty", as if validation from men will ever be enough to cover the black hole in my stomach drilled by years of self-loathing, binging-purging cycles and appetite-suppression pills. It haven't stopped for a second to congratulate itself for platitudes.

The substance threw an ice bucket on my head, grabbed me by the shoulders, dragged me to the mirror and told me "look at what violence you're inflicting on yourself!". It showed me a perfect body, the carrot on the stick, and then it hit it with a sledgehammer in white neon light. Is it worth it? Aren't you mad? Look at how he eats shrimp and doesn't wash his hands - is this the person you want to be liked by? Is this what you deserve for being human, really?

I've seen this movie on Friday and it's been stuck in my head ever since. I haven't looked in the mirror the same again. Somehow this made me kinder to myself.

I've seen reviewers say that this movie counts as "male gaze" and "violence against women" but I think they don't see the forest from the trees here.

First the male gaze: it felt like a deconstruction, in the best way. Sue's butt was the least erotic thing ever put to screen. The soft porn dance studio was shot in a lifeless manner, I felt like my mom was reading the browse history. Personally, I'd never want to have Sue's job. Even the sexist dudes that watch the movie seem to "get it", that their overly sexual media diet looks embarassing under the microscope. The medium is the message, and the sound and visual cues are all there to make sex appeal look very unappealing and immature. There's nothing sexy in "Pump it up", it's catchy and fun and has sexual undertones, but not a hint of sensuality.

Then the violence against women: there is only one scene where a man attacks a woman, and I'll not spoil it, but i'll say it's so bizzare it feels too cartoony to count. The rest of the violence is all self-inflicted. Every step of the way. Women don't just suffer abuse under patriarchy from men, they self-inflict and reenforce the structures of their own suffering onto others. Elizabeth is a fitness coach actively making bank off of other women's fears, and in the process of telling everyone over x kg to skip lunch she's grown her own self-loathing too. It wasn't really the horny men watching the fitness show, isn't it? Sue is even worse, she goes on talk shows to tell women her looks come from being kind, a silly statement considering she injects herself daily with an old woman's spine liquid while loathing her for existing. Elizabeth and Sue are both victims and perpetuators of violence, and it's gruesome because it's not a silly feminine thing, it's all-encompassing and a matter of life and death. Without violence, what would be the message of the movie? "It kinda sucks to be a woman hating your body". Doesn't sting, isn't it? This is not chopping women and putting them in refrigerators to give the good guy a reason to kill the baddie, this has to be violent to show the depth of pain of the protagonist. It's necessary. And I like it, because crying and wallowing in pain is not the behaviour you want to see on screens, it feels lethargic and leads to the problem not being taken as seriously.

[tobiasdrake]

As a Sonic fan since as far back as i can remember, i don't care for the Sonic Movies. I didn't mind at first but learning that Paramount is Pro-Israel made me rethink a lot of Sonic's character in those movies. Sonic is one of my favorite characters in the franchise (along with Amy) so i can be particular about how Sonic is portrayed (i don't like IDW Sonic). I don't mind different takes but if you don't get him right where it counts i'm gonna complain. I also don't like Knuckles at all in the movies and Tails feels unbelievably tacked on.

I can understand that. I do like... well, Sonic 2, specifically. I think that one has more good than bad, though I'm less fond of Sonic 1 and the Knux show. But I do have my beefs with all of them.

Like. I love Jim Carrey's Eggman, but he's also definitely more Jim Carrey than Eggman. He's very entertaining, somehow managing to be even more of a cartoon character than the CGI anthro protagonists.

Knux is... complicated? Like. I think there's a lot of pushback in the Sonic environment right now against the idea of Knuckles as a dim-witted brute, because that was a popular portrayal for a while. Sonic Boom comes immediately to mind.

Sonic Movie Knux was hailed as a brilliant portrayal because they didn't play him as stupid, but instead focused on him as a proud warrior clan type. But also... they kinda did play him as stupid? It's just that they were making "Knux doesn't get it because of culture shock" jokes instead of "Knux is just stupid" jokes. Which is really just a different angle on the same thing.

I think Idris Elba's performance carried a lot of his reception. Also that a lot of his stupid moments are funny. But. Like. The complaint was never that he wasn't funny. Boom Knuckles is funny too. It still sucks to see him reduced to a comical goon.

Contrast his portrayal in Frontiers. Frontiers Knuckles actually gets to express his knowledge and expertise. He talks at length about Angel Island history and architecture, comparing them to the current environment; Things that would reasonably be within his field of expertise.

And then there's Tom....

...

...

...existing, honestly? I don't like Tom. He's here because Paramount has no faith in the Sonic IP to carry a film and thinks the audience really wants to see a relatable self-insert in order to be invested in the film.

You're not really supposed to be rooting for Sonic as "the protagonist". You're supposed to be rooting for Sonic as "my kid". The films are made from the P.O.V. of cheering from the stands while your ten-year-old hits a home run in his Little League game. You're meant to be proud of Sonic, not to relate to Sonic.

Which kinda sucks by itself but also the guy they think is a relatable self-insert to project onto? Is a smug white rural cop who yearns to be a Big City Police Officer and has conspicuously unexplored drama with his wife's sister.

Like, Rachel violently despises him for reasons that the films refuse to examine, because they just want to use her to make Sassy Black Woman jokes. And haven't really thought through how it looks when Maddie is married to a fucking cop that her sister ambiguously but firmly insists is the scum of the earth. The implications there went straight over the filmmakers' heads.

It's all just... There's a lot. They made bad decisions with Sonic 1 but managed to find enough success at the box office to justify sequels, and now those bad decisions are baked in. Paramount thinks that's what people want to see. They think people want a Knuckles series that's about another white cop with an alleged heart of gold battling the feds and confronting his personal family drama, guest-starring Knuckles the Echidna.

I like the movies enough to check them out. The second one was a fine enough "Turn your brain off and just look at the lights and sounds" film. I actually had a blast with the "Maddie and Rachel beat the shit out of a bunch of cops" scene that everyone hates. The fights between Sonic and Knux were a lot of fun. Carreyman and Stone steal every scene they're in.

But it is all very not-Sonic.

[celestetcetera]

🙋 i am curious

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED ‼️

So me and @happistar were chatting a bit ago and the topic somehow landed on Hey what if there was a Disney Channel Original adaptation of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Y'know, cuz they love loosely basing those off things you'd read in english class

We ended up with an entire plot summary. Below the cut bc I will not spare a single detail

Okay so this would be set in peak Disney Channel Original era, aka 2000-2010s, in highschool bc of course. Our protagonist is Henrietta Jekyll, a teen girl, bc that's your typical DCO protagonist.

She goes by Jekyll, because she hates her first name, and occasionally Dr. Jekyll, because her friends & chemistry teacher call her that as a quirky nickname for being very determined to get a PHD one day.

Jekyll's a certified Nerd™ who excels in chemistry, gets straight As, and participates in like 8 different clubs. Truly the academic pride of the school! She’s also overworked and definitely needs to take time for herself.

Her besties are Utterson and Lanyon, who tbh we never decided whether they get genderbent or not. They basically make up your bestie friend group of the DCO. The only bullet point I noted about Utterson is that they're like that one kid in good omens -- clearly born to do taxes. We know they're going to law school

So Jekyll wants to be popular, but her nerdiness keeps getting in the way. Like for instance, homecoming is on the horizon, and though her friends asked if she would go, she insists she can’t because she’s got too much homework (and is also kinda nervous).

So, with encouragement from her chemistry teacher, Mr. Stevenson (referencing RLS ofc), she creates a potion that will draw forth her Cool Side. This creates her alter ego, who names herself Emma Hyde. Emma because it's the name she's always liked, and Hyde because uhh… first thing that popped into her head?

Hyde has the cool goth/emo aesthetic, and with her laid back personality, easily slots into the Cool Kids. Oh, and among these cool kids is Dani Carew -- your typical bitchy popular girl.

(Do NOT question how signing up for class works at all. Hyde probably introduces herself as a transfer student (more like transformation student hahaha) and that’s all she needs because paperwork doesn’t exist in Disney Channel Original Movies.)

Cue your school based alter ego shenanigans. Jekyll likes the thrill of being Hyde but she's also worried because Hyde consistently ditches class, doesn't pay attention, and mouths off at the teachers. The only teacher that seems to even remotely like her is Stevenson, but he just likes everyone really. Jekyll is also frustrated because her grades are suffering.

Once homecoming comes around, Hyde's the one that ends up going. She has a great time! There’s a bit of a “oooh who’s this cool new kid” Cinderella moment. Jekyll wakes up feeling so alive after the experience!

There's probably a romantic love triangle thing going on as well, bc what's your DCO without romance. Not sure if both Jekyll and Hyde to have separate love interests or the same guy falls for both of them, but either way it is accidentally very polyamorous.

Anyway, at some point some drama between Jekyll & Carew escalates and Hyde decides to "murder" her. Since this is a DCO she will not be beating her to death with her cane, and instead just killing her popularity by spreading around an embarrassing photo or something.

This causes Lanyon to take issue with Jekyll's experiments, claiming she's gone too far. They have a fight that culminates in Lanyon exposing Jekyll/Hyde as the same person to the whole school.

Upset, Jekyll/Hyde have a Confrontation style fight before realizing that they have to accept each other to be their true self. They create a "cure" that merges them back together for a DCO happy ending. The moral is you have to embrace both sides of your personality, and Jekyll learns that while her school work is important, so is taking the time to have fun like Hyde. Post-merge, she retains Hyde's signature emo eyeshadow, and goes by Emma as often as Jekyll.

In like the last 5 minutes Mr. Stevenson reveals that he made the same potion back when he was a teen, which explains his affection for Hyde. We see a pic of his Hyde side, which is appropriately Cool for the 1970s. He also comments that he’s glad to see Jekyll has learned to take some time for herself. The end :)

[your-unfriendlyghost]

So I’ve read TWTTIN and the outsiders, but I’ve seen a lot of hubbub about Tex and Rumblefish. Are those the only two other SE Hinton books that are worth reading/watching?

I mean there ain’t many others, at least not in this genre/niche yk? I read Taming the Star Runner and Some of Tim’s Stories a few months ago too- I liked Taming the Star Runner fine, maybe more than Rumblefish. Not a lot happened- I mean I barely remember anything about the plot- but I liked the protagonist, he was pretty relatable to the point that it kinda freaked me out lol. It wasn’t as objectively good as Rumblefish, I think- Rumblefish had more to say and maybe some more profound insights- but Rumblefish made me sad. Taming the Star Runner was just…easier to relate to for me, I guess, while Rumblefish was like watching a car accident lol. Both are worth reading though, and the movie for Rumblefish was pretty rad. (Of course I’d say that tho, Tom Waits was in it lol)

Some of Tim’s Stories was…less entertaining for me personally. It wasn’t bad, and I liked the way the protagonist’s inner dialogue read, but it either had too much going on or not enough and I couldn’t tell you which if I tried. You hear the stories, and I guess if someone told me them verbally I’d feel connected, but as a book it just felt like..watching a plot through a window somehow. Like there’s a thick pane of glass between you and the story. God, I dunno. It’s hard to explain.

Then, finally, Tex. My beloved book Tex. I love Tex. It’s not much like The Outsiders, and I don’t like it in the same way that I like The Outsiders- but I still love Tex. It’s like the anti-TWTTIN, opposite in both setting and plot. It’s unhappy in some ways, realistic, and often sad, but like its protagonist, it always finds a way to bounce back. Tex looked at the despair of Rumblefish, the frustration of TWTTIN, and said “What if all these bad things happened and we just kept going? What if we just carried on?” Hinton described Tex himself as the least “tough” but most strong of her protagonists, and I think that that applies somehow to the whole book. It’s painfully relatable in some parts, frustrating, gut wrenching- but in the end, everything is okay. Not perfect, but you know Tex is gonna be alright. It’s a sweet story about a good kid who I loved being in the head of. The movie’s also pretty good.

So uh tl;dr- It’s up to you if Hinton’s other books are worth reading. I read them, and I’m glad I did, even for Some of Tim’s Stories which is probably my least favorite of her books- it was still a good experience, I guess. Idk, her books are what got me to read again after years of not liking books, so I’m biased, but there’s not one on this list that I regret having read.

[archduchessofnowhere]

We talk about portrayals of Sisi, but I think that Franz Joseph was, if anything, even more misrepresented by the recent period dramas. How would you rank the portrayals of him you have seen/read (in historical novels)? Is there any piece of historical fiction that actually captures his character accurately?

Hello! YES I always focus on Elisabeth but he is also completely butchered in all these new series. I think I've said it before, but basically it's very hard to reconcile who FJ actually was (both as an emperor and as a person) with him being a love interest we as an audience can root for. Specially in these new adaptations in which Elisabeth is outspoken, mature and actively politically involved in the events of the empire (and not just the Compromise). Why would our Girl Boss protagonist want to be with a man who was bureaucracy made flesh, very conservative, and just kinda boring in general? It doesn't work. Thus, his personality also gets rewritten.

I don't really have a decided ranking, but off the top of my head I'd say these are my least to most favorite portrayals:

Sisi & Ich (2023): Do you hate Sisi adaptations that turn FJ into a horrible, abusive husband in order to make his wife look good? Well, this portrayal does just that. He is only very briefly in the movie but I hated every minute of it, personally I was mostly fine with the movie despite all its inaccuracies but there was one scene from this part that was a deal breaker for me. This movie should've been just two hours of Irma and Elisabeth traveling and nothing else.

Die Kaiserin (2022-): The solution of the screenwriters to the problem of "how do we make FJ likeable?" Basically turning him into his brother Maximilian lol. You see, he has liberal ideas but his evil mother doesn't let him pursue them! Oh, and he had nothing to do with those executions, that was also his mother! In fact everything bad he ever did was all his mother's fault, because he is not even governing, his mother is. By season 2 it almost seems that FJ has absolutely no idea what's going on in his own empire and needs to be explained basic thing like Italian nationalism. This series sanitizes FJ in levels that just aren't seen in any other adaptation, not even the Sissi Trilogy. You are watching the show and can't help but think "who is this guy???". The only thing he has in common with the real FJ is that he loves his wife, but the way their relationship is portrayed is so unlike the real couple that not even that makes him similar to his historical counterpart.

Sisi (2021-2024). This FJ is in the opposite end of the same spectrum as Die Kaiserin's FJ. Season 1 had the original take of not making FJ likeable, but instead they turned him in a borderline cartoonishly evil, violent and smug man. He smiles as he orders executions, he beats his aids for not reason, he openly cheats on his wife and publicly insults her in a fit of jealousy. Honestly I was baffled by this take, because even after all these bizarre changes they still went for a "Sisi and Franz's great love story!" approach for the series. Which was. A choice. They obviously wanted to make him like that so that he could go through a redemption arc thanks to his relationship with Sisi, but it was just not a well written arc, and when his personality does change in later seasons it doesn't feel like earned character grow but simply that the writers decided to tone down their original approach.

Yet I will admit I'm lowkey fond of this portrayal, I liked most of his storyline in season 2 (he spends most of the season bonding with a feral child and also definitely has a thing going on with Andrássy you can't convince me otherwise), and in season 3 I found myself agreeing with him. So yeah, utterly butchered FJ but in an entertaining way at least.

Sissi Trilogy: I'm honestly overall indifferent to this FJ; he is basically the blueprint for every posterior depiction that portrays him as a Prince Charming love interest. Yet, for all the overomantization of Elisabeth's early life, the movies don't shy away from telling us how FJ was directly responsible of the counter revolution executions. We even see how he is still hated in Hungary and Italy (at least until Sissi comes into the scene). A certain show from a certain straming service could learn that it's not necessary to completely sanitize his image and pin all his faults onto his mother to make Franz Josef into a palatable love interest.

Sisi (2009). I feel about this FJ almost the same as I feel about the Sissi Trilogy's FJ, but in this portrayal we do see more of him than just "Sisi's love interest". Also it's not always all the color of roses, he and Elisabeth disagree and fight more than once. His relationship with his brother Max is also really interesting, pity they only interact in like three scenes. Overall a solid take, if a bit romanticized and not particularly remarkable.

Kronprinz Rudolf (2006). Not a bad take but for what I remember they portrayed Taaffe as having this great influence over FJ and putting him against Rudolf. And like no the evil minister was not responsible for FJ distrusting his son He Was Like That.

Elisabeth das Musical: the only depiction on this list that I truly like, and it really proves that the only way to have a good FJ is to not make him into a love interest. He is only a supporting character and yet the musical nails the most important bits of his personality and his relationship with Elisabeth outstandingly well (loved his wife but never understood her, cheated yet still longed for her, let her go but always hoped she would comeback next to him). There's even room to also show his relationship with Rudolfl! The only thing that I don't really like is that they do portray his mother as having a lot of influence over him, but that's mostly because the musical has an outdated take on Sophie (which works pretty well in a storytelling level nonetheless!). Boote in der Nacht is the saddest song in the entire musical, and the musical is not even about FJ and Elisabeth as a couple. Just a great, nuanced and engaging take!

I know I'm missing a lot FJs but these are the ones that came to my mind right now; I don't think I've ever seen Franz Josef in a piece of media that isn't about Elisabeth or Rudolf. Thank you for your question!

[littlealeta]

Spellbound (2024) Review [Spoilers]

Long post! Scroll down for a TL;DR and Aleta Rewrites Version!

I, at first, didn't want to watch this movie. But after hearing some surprisingly decent reviews, I decided to give it a chance. Coming out of it, I can understand why it resonated with some people, even if the writing is ultimately a mess. I think if this came out earlier, in the mid 2010s, without all the controversy John Lasseter has got into as well, I think this could've done a bit better among other simplistic films such as Home and Secret Life of Pets. And I probably would've liked it better myself back then, but alas, I am not a slightly mindless 17 year old anymore, and we live in different times where cute, heartfelt stories are not the only things a movie needs to be good. So, I must view this film objectively as it is.

I will have to say, though, the trailers hid way too much. It's not as horrible as they made it out to be, but still mediocre.

Story

So much to say here...

The story is a real mess. It literally pops off with the parents being monsters. We know nothing of their life beforehand at this point.

There are some good ideas here, like the dark emotions tornado. the parents being monsters concept and having the child be the one to parent their own parents sounds like it could be ridiculously funny, but the problem is, it doesn't do much to set it apart from other stories that have done this before, Brave and Spirited Away with the parents being creatures concept, Wonder Park with the dark emotions symbolism, and It Takes Two with two fighting parents going on an adventure. The monsters at the start could just be Eileen's annoying pets and there would be no difference.

I also like that the main conflict revolves around divorce, a theme that is rarely touched upon in media, especially for children. It's unfortunate that this doesn't come into play until halfway through the story. The message is very heartfelt and a good lesson for children going through this same situation.

There are some good scenes here. Like there's some creative and beautiful segments like the echo or the Look for the Light scene. Most of the humor is actually well-written, although, I probably could've done without the freaky friday thing as it doesn't really contribute to the story. There are a couple times where I felt the humor is tacked on, but other than that, most of them felt natural.

One thing that doesn't make sense about the story, though, is the parents gradually getting their humanity back after it was said that they would get it back at the lake. This was never explained. I believe I could subtly see the reason why that may be the case. The parents and Elliaan are starting to accept the reality of the marriage. But, there's not enough implication to connect that reasoning to the story, and it just feels contrived.

The way conflict gets resolved is often anticlimatic. Like, in the echo scene, the parents suddenly saying "Girl" for no reason and getting their humanity back felt rushed and contrived as well as Bolinar being able to somehow call in the other flinks during the big climatic moment.

Characters

The characters either don't really have much personality or feel one-note.

Princess Elliaan is just your typical Disney protagonist. She's cheerful, optimistic, good-natured, and a bit clumsy. She lacks any flaws, quirks, or depth to help her stand out.

The parents only show their personalities when they're fighting. They, too, have nothing to make them stand out.

The only characters who kinda have a personality are Bolinar and the Oracles, but even they feel a bit one-note. Bolinar's only characteristic is that he's perpetually negative, and he really doesn't contribute anything to the story. The Oracles, being minor characters, aren't very memorable.

Flink is just your average trouble-making Disney sidekick.

Animation/Music/Voice Acting

I love Princess Eileen's design, I think she's very cute. However, that is all the positives I have in regards to the animation. There are some different artistic styles used in some of the musical segments, but most of the animation is just your average 2010s 3D animation.

Music is alright. Most of it is not memorable. There are a couple of weird moments where it seems like the characters were talking more than singing. My personal favorite would be The Way it Was Before. It's catchy, and the sweetest and most heartfelt song out of them all.

The voice actors do well with both funny and serious moments. I have to give props especially to Rachel Zegler, for both her singing and her ability to convey emotions. I really felt her character there.

Overall/TL;DR

I give Spellbound 5.4 bells out of 10

The story takes too long to reveal itself and get interesting. There is barely a concrete arc there, it could easily be seen as a movie where "things happen". A lot of the conflict is resolved anticlimatically, too. There are inklings of a deep, emotional, and creative movie in there, but it needed some more drafting to get there. The comedic timing is mostly well-written, though, besides a few tacked on moments.

Characters feel pretty one-note and Elliaan is just your average Disney princess.

Besides a few artistic musical segments, the animation is mostly generic. Although, I think Princess Elliaan is very cute.

Music is ok, quite forgettable. The only catchy one being the heartfelt The Way It Was Before.

Voice actors did their jobs well, especially Rachel Zegler in terms of both her singing and emotional range.

It's passable enough for kids and those who want to Netflix and chill. It's a simple movie with a good heart and there's nothing wrong with that, but in terms of story and characterization, it's pretty bland with nothing much to make it stand out from other animated kids fare.

In an Aleta Rewrites story, I would of course start off with the parents being humans. Elli is harboring resentment for them due to their constant fighting and planned divorce and just wants everything to be peaceful again. Due to Elli's resentment, the parents themselves are having trouble going through with the divorce because they want to "stay together for the kid". Their fighting causes the parents to turn into monsters because this is how Elliaan sees them. At the start, I would try to do something a little more creative with the parents being monsters concept to set it apart from other movies that have done this before. Like, maybe instead of just having them be rambunctious creatures, show more facets of their personalities. Like, maybe the parents' personalities are still somewhere in there and they're trying to talk to Eileen or trying to help Eileen, but their monster sides just keep coming out and it just all ends in the wrong way. Also, show more of the parents fighting as monster forms instead of just acting like pets causing trouble around the castle.

Let Elliaan's growth happen more naturally instead of at the last minute. And her growth (her acceptance of the changes the parents want to make to their marriage) is the reason her parents slowly gain back humanity. Their adventure is a representation of Elliaan and her parents' journey to accept the truth that the marriage is not going to work out well. Show more symbolic elements of Elliaan's resentment and her growth similar to how you showed symbolic scenes of the parents fighting with the quicksand and the echo.

I would also have Bolinar be more of the foil who often ditches and kinda gets in the way of Elliaan and her parents' adventure. His selfish attempts at trying to get back his body hurt their plans (more scenes like the acorn trail scene), until he grows to be more helpful in the adventure and realize his selfish ways.

[synergysilhouette]

Another 10 Disney hot takes/probably unpopular opinions

Not a fan of Meg and Hercules as a couple. I ADORE them having an innocent male lead and a jaded female love interest, but Meg's situation with Hades makes it feel very toxic. The movie is kinda confusing on whether or not she can refuse Hades; one minute he uses incentive to get her to do what she wants (which is bad enough; her freedom for Hercules' death), and then when she tells him the deal's off, he reminds her that she has no say in the matter. Following this, she rejects his deal and he forces her into being exposed so Hercules will make a deal. She does sacrifice herself for him in the end, but it still feels very iffy for me, particularly since the backbone of her resisting him isn't even "I can't let this guy get killed" but instead "I don't wanna fall in love after getting my heart broken and having sold my soul" (which is EXTREMELY valid, but so is the other point). Had Meg been a normal human and made a deal with Hades to save Hercules or help him earlier on during his training, it'd be so much better.

2. Disney needs needs to stop making sequels just because of financial success and actually work to craft a narrative that requires a sequel or two. It's risky (considering the first film could have negative critical or commercial success, as well as take time and resources away from other films at the studio), but would have a better payoff, imo. I enjoyed "Frozen 2" despite it's flaws, but the fact that it felt independent of the first film did make it feel like we could've used an entirely different cast and made the same story.

3. I need more musicals with a male lead--The last one we had was "Tarzan"--or "Hercules," depending on your criteria. The revival era has had female leads for all their musicals, with a male playing as a co-lead or a deuteragonist. I know the girls are MUCH more valuable at Disney due to the Disney princess line and musicals with a male lead may be harder to market (well, not really; "Aladdin" and "The Lion King" were the highest-grossing animated films at one point, and their remakes grossed over $1 billion).

4. "Moana" needed a bigger (main) roster--Something I love is a nice-sized amount of main characters in a movie. "Moana" only had Moana and Maui for most of the movie, and thus it wasn't as enjoyable for me in that respect. "Moana 2" is introducing new characters, so I hope they can hold my interest.

5. Involve the Anderson-Lopez team in more musicals outside of the "Frozen" franchise--they almost got to do this with "Gigantic," but it fell through. Their music has been great, so I really hope to see them in more musicals for Disney outside of Disney's "Frozen."

6. NEVER return to hybrid animation for a feature film--It's too disorienting for me personally, and while the animation for "Wish" wasn't bad, it definitely didn't have the storybook vibe it was going for except with backgrounds. It would look fine if it was a video game, though.

7. "Gigantic" should've been Disney's anniversary film instead of "Wish"-- I already did a post on this, so I'll just leave it at that.

8. Raya is one of the best Disney leads in a while--Granted, her movie could've been much better and I wish the color of her clothes reflected her culture instead of going for neutral colors, but Raya is the blueprint for a great protagonist. It's been mentioned before how she's a feminist icon without having to really show it in ways others have in films, by being a confident warrior with no discussion of marriage or gender inequality brought up in the film. She's also deliciously sassy and quick on her feet. I may have preferred her OG concept of being stoic, but her swagger makes her one of the more engaging Disney leads, particularly as the adorkable trait started to show up. Speaking of...

9. Ariel and Mulan are the best adorkable leads for a Disney protagonist--While I don't have much issue with Anna and Mirabel and don't really find Rapunzel or Moana that adorkable, Ariel and Mulan were the blueprints for a funny female lead, and they felt less forced than later leads.

10. Aladdin is one of the worst Disney princes--DON'T KILL ME! He used to be my favorite Disney prince, until I watched a "therapists react" video to Disney couples and they brought up the fact that Aladdin had lied to Jasmine several times over the course of the movie. Him being insecure is a great character trait (a common one with Disney leads since the 90s, really), but it's poor writing to make his romance with Jasmine be based on a lie. I'd rather he just kept tight-lipped about his identity when Jasmine caught him the first time rather than covering up with another lie.

[sillysymbol]

who's your favorite criminal clownery character to draw? favorite to write/think about? favorite dynamic? and can i get a fun fact or something you havent shared yet about them :]

YES YESSS SICKOS HAHA YESSS

my favs to draw are pirplexa and shirley for some reason. pirplexa because she's like a weird son to me (i'm very attached to her! shes like my favorite oc ever! i went off when i designed her!) + shirley because ever since i changed her hair style shes been a lot easier+more fun to draw. i think also carni i love drawing her w different hair styles and clothing.

my favorites to write for are pirplexa/carni/prince. that makes sense cuz theyre like. the Main protagonists+villain, but its really fun to explore their different personalities/backstories. Dude writing backstories especially for pirplexa and prince is so fun for me. also recently writing xio has been really fun n interesting to me. in general i think its fun to explore Why A Character is like That, why do they behave like that!

i got a lot of dynamics i like exploring but my favs are carni/pirplexa, carni/trill, prince/shirley, prince/xio and babs/miles. for carni dynamics its fun because she's one of the more happy/chipper characters, contrasted with pirplexa being more cold/untrusting and trill being more calm and collected. i plan for carni and trill to really dislike eachother at first, but eventually start to understand and fall for eachother <3 while with carni and pirplexa its more about pirplexa learning to trust and make friends again.

prince and shirley are siblings with extremely different world views and thought processes, they really dislike eachother. they grew up in the same enviroment yet reacted to it completely differently.

prince and xio is fun to me, ive been trying to give xio more of involved in the story+cast&crew while prince just thinks of her as his cute secretary. he sucks real bad! she doesnt like him she barely tolerates the others but he pays her to kill people so shes like whatever i can deal with this. and then she finds out he wants a consensual workplace relationship and shes like YAY HOW CAN I MANIPULATE THIS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

babs/miles are dating at the beginning of cc, but their relationship gets a bit complicated due to babs being a little crazy about him and miles struggling with his sense of masculinity, its really not a relationship thats meant to last for long, its a bit tragic. (also why they are in love by david byrne is in both of their playlists LOL)

a few fun facts:

i dont think ive shared here is that prince and shirleys parents were movie stars! they met on the set of a film and had multiple movies with eachother. prince and shirley both had an odd childhood under a lot of surveillance from the public, plus their parents weren't very great parents. they both react to their trauma very differently, prince being "grateful" for it, giving him media training and feeling like his parents crafted him (even when he knows his parents didn't have much faith in him and bet a lot on shirley), while shirley absolutely despises the rest of her family. of course she'll go to the annual family dinner with prince, but that doesnt mean that she won't loathe every second of it.

pirplexa is a dog person! he loves dogs! he doesn't own one because he doesnt think hes in the right headspace to have one yet, but he will pet every random dog on the street. i like to think a few years after the events of cc when he's mentally better, he does adopt a dog.

miles and shirley don't get along very well, shirleys kinda like a bully older sister, she puts him in headlocks and stuff.

if you get the color symbolism (heh) in cc i will give you a badge. idk

shirley likes to write, babs likes to sing, miles likes to draw and design.

trill originally got a degree in botany, but realized she wanted to pursue comedy/acting instead. she can still correctly identify plants!!! yay!!!

[lara635kookie]

I didn't even watch "WISH" yet because in my country it will only be available at january, but people are saying it's a bad cliche so I probably won't watch at the cinema.

The thing is, even though I am a hopeless romantic, not everything has to have romance. There are princess who are perfectly fine without a prince, like Mirabel, Elsa, Merida, Moana and Raya(I do kinda like the idea of Raya with a girl, just not Namaari). But we were so robbed of seeing Asha and the star boy(he is literally a staR so I don't doubt Disney would call him StaN or something like that, so his name is Stan from now on, I am gonna call him like that, is easier than star boy). Asha and Stan had the potential to be the next Tianaveen and Rapunzel&Eugene (I don't know their ship name). The concept arts are the cutest thing I have ever seen. Also "At All Costs" (bop) would have been a love song between the two!!! Them singing it man. The pain I will feel when I don't see them passionately sing it, very "I see the light" coded, in the actual movie. Somehow, now is not feminist for a strong female character to have a male partner by her side. Like...This doesn't make sense! You can be a strong female character and have a man at the same time! Have y'all forgotten Mulan and Shang? Anna and Kristoff? Ariel and Eric? Jasmine and Aladdin? (There are more examples and I could go on all day, but you got what I meant already) I hate Disney for throwing good ideas at the trash and playing safe just for money(like Hobie Brown/Spider-Punk said "it's a metaphor for capitalism"). And as the guy looked blonde with blue/green eyes in the arts I have seen, and Asha is a black latina, they lost the opportunity of having a biracial couple ACTUALLY DONE RIGHT (Pocahontas and John Smith don't count, he is a collonizer with the most common name in the world, she deserves so much better). Like, if the thing is show how inclusive you are by having a black latina female protagonist for little girls to see and feel represented in a good way, you could have increased that feeling by making someone fall in love for her. Little girls would feel like they are beautiful and desired/desireable in a positive way and that they worthy of being loved and love and be with whoever they want to be with, even someone who has a different skin color.

I am also mad because we could have seen Disney's first evil villain COUPLE with King Magnifico and his wife, the queen(still don't know her name, sorry). Can't you guys imagine the HITS, THE FIRST PLACE OF BILLBOARD HOT 100 WORTHY songs, they would proportionate us? Even if only one song, it would be enough for me. But someone thought having a female villain would be anti-feminist and they discarded an original and authentic idea, which is what Disney built its empire on the first place. Come on Disney minorities don't want to be portrayed as those unrealistic superior beings, they want to be portrayed as real human beings with emotions, struggles, qualities and flaws. Having an iconic female villain like you guys always had(like Maleficent, Cruella De Vil, Ursula, Mother Gothel, Lady Tremaine, etc) and set her up with an iconic male villain(like Gaston, Doctor Facilier, Shan Yu, Jafar, Hans, etc) it would have been top notch, god tier. King Magnifico and the queen could have been like the Gomez and Morticia of evil. You could address so many topics by it. Like the kingdom being ruled by evil would have been a great social critic of some politicians out there, for example. And we could have had an iconic final boss battle between Asha and Stan VS Magnifico and the queen.

Anyway, what I mean by this is that if someone has fanarts or just ANY CONTENT, of Asha and Stan, tag me, reblog this or comment, I don't care, just warn me, because they are my new obsession. I will also write a fanfic about this movie with these ideas, but only after I have watched the movie so until them, please feed my hyperfixation in Stasha (Star boy/Stan×Asha), I'm begging y'all

[theoldlesbianwithcats]

As someone who never watched Portrait of a Lady on Fire because it looked dull and I’m kind of over the sanitized and demure ancient white women period dramas (would love to see some woc in the mix for once like at least that would be a new take on the genre) I would love to hear your thoughts. I feel like it’s probably a good movie but I just don’t care. Fell the same way about Carol too like where’s the mess and intrigue lol

For period drama with a woman of color, I remember enjoying Mystère à la Tour Eiffel (but I watched it a long time ago) and The Handmaiden (this one seems to get polarizing opinions from lesbians though haha)

I feel like Portrait tries too hard to be smart and artistic, as if Céline Sciamma wanted to create a piece to be studied in film analysis courses, you know? As a result I didn't find it very subtle nor enjoyable on that aspect. (Tbh, I don't really care about period dramas and my favorite genre is comedy, so I'm biased against it in the first place)

Like many lesbians, I didn't like the ending at all. To summarize the plot, Héloïse (Adèle Haenel) is forced by her mother to marry a man, but for that to happen the man has to receive a portrait of her, so she completely avoids getting painted. Her mother then leaves her on a small island with a "female companion", Marianne (Noémie Merlant) who, in reality, is a painter commissioned to secretly do Héloïse's portrait. They fall in love, obviously, but Héloïse ends up accepting getting painted because she feels like she has no other choice than to marry that man. Years later, Marianne sees a new portrait of her with a child (and a symbol that shows that Héloïse still thinks about her) and sees Héloïse crying at a classical concert that plays a piece Marianne once played for her.

Céline Sciamma is supposedly a real lesbian ffs! She said in interviews that she struggled with finding lesbian romance books when she was a teen! Why make her protagonist end up in a forced marriage to a man? (Said protagonist being played by her ex-girlfriend of all people, kinda creepy if you ask me)

About that ending, she said "I wanted to question what a happy ending is. We have the romantic-comedy philosophy – a frozen image of two people being together – and we also have the tragic ending. And I wanted neither. Why do we believe that eternal possession of somebody means a happy ending? Love educates us about art. Art consoles us from lost love. Our great loves are a condition of our future love. The film is the memory of a love story; it’s sad but also full of hope." What is full of hope (and not tragic) about knowing that the love of your life is doomed to be raped and forced to bear children 💀

If she wanted to write about lost love and bittersweet ending, she could have gone the classic "protagonist kills herself" route, the "protagonist bids farewell to her lover and disappears/becomes a nun" route or even the "in a desperate attempt to avoid forced marriage, the protagonist kills her mother and ends up in jail/executed" route (I know she wouldn't have done the last one because that kinda ruins the feminist sisterhood vibe of the movie)

Of course the best choice would have been "they make a makeshift raft and get the fuck out of that island while the mother's gone and they create a new life somewhere else", but that's just my opinion 😂

Anyway, if you haven't watched it already, I really recommend that SNL skit about lesbian period dramas with Kate McKinnon:

[argusthecat]

The storyline of Duskmourn is interesting to me, because it feels like it's struggling to contain multiple different plots, some of which the author didn't want to write. I don't want to really speculate wildly about corporate interference or forced changes or anything, but I do think I have an interesting way to take what to me feels like a story missing a spark, and fix at least a little of it.

Make Jace the main character.

Go with me on this odd journey.

In Duskmourn, a group of plucky adventurers that supposedly fit the tropes of horror movie characters are assembled and go into the house dimension to save Nashi. Nashi is there with a bunch of expendables chasing his mom's memory scroll thing, which has been stolen. Jace is also in the house, chasing Loot, who has been stolen. There's some side stories that are really really good.

A lot of this story doesn't work for me, but weirdly, I think it's because the story is trying to remind the audience of Magic in general that Jace exists and matters, while not actually leaning into his existence. And one simple change could put him (and Vraska please) front and center. Just take away the macguffin of Tamiyo's memory scroll, and make Loot the only macguffin that matters. Functionally they serve the same narrative purpose, so not much of the rest of the story actually needs to change.

You can even keep most of the characters the same! Jace can go looking for help retrieving his fuzzy son, and find that Tamiyo is dead, but meet Nashi in the process. Nashi volunteers to come with him, maybe planning to take revenge on Jace for the whole phyrexian thing, maybe just because he feels like he's lost without his mom around and remembers that old conversation with Ajani and wants to do something to help. This pulls in the wandering emperor, and also Kaito, her second best puppy dog who goes woof woof whenever she needs anything.

The whole thing would recontextualize the participation of Niv, and it would also open up a fucking hilarious conversation with Ral who has been stalking Jace this whole time and Jace just walks in and goes "yo, I need help with some doors, I know there's some bad blood but my fuzzy son is at risk, and soon everyone else will be too if we don't get moving". But that also means that bringing in Zimone and Tyvar and Niko can be more about finding people willing to trust Jace - or at least not care about his past - which adds another layer to them.

Pros to this solution : a main character. Having a protagonist isn't bad. Having a protagonist and pretending you don't is stupid, and that's what they're doing with Jace anyway. This fixes that. Also, Nashi doesn't get a bunch of people who love and support him killed before we even learn their names. Also Nashi doesn't appear to cold-bloodedly not give a shit about people who care about him so much they'd dive into a haunted house. Instead, Nashi gets agency, and can still have his own arc with the emperor where he learns to move past his mom's death and grow as a person on his own. Also, this sets up to more people that Loot is actually kinda important, and it lets them have Valgavoth be a big bad in a way that's different from all the other big bads in a fun way.

Cons. Some people don't like Jace. That's fine, these people can be given an outlet through Ral punching Jace. I think everyone kinda wants that a little bit.

[herbofgraceandpeace]

So I never replied to your question, @strangeunknownarbiter, but then I started writing a reply and it became too long, so here it is in post form! So, I absolutely love Jane Seymour’s portrayal for her vivaciousness and wit, and she’s got great chemistry with Anthony Andrews…but the script sure doesn’t do Marguerite justice. Aside from my annoyance with love triangle nonsense (with Chauvelin?? I mean, come on), the story doesn’t focus on Marguerite enough, and we don’t get to see her intelligence and courage as much as they deserve. ALSO, I think it’s kinda crucial to the story to not be showing the audience the Pimpernel’s identity from the get go? It’s part of the same deal with losing Marguerite as the protagonist.  It does the story and characters disservice by its comedic shots of Percy running around behind her back while they’re courting.

Let the audience have the opportunity to put themselves in Marguerite’s shoes as to her frustration with her dumb husband and investigation of the mystery!! It’s such a female story in many ways, even playing with the Bluebeard trope, and the adaptions are (like Orczy) in love with Percy Blakeney. I truly think Marguerite’s character and story are the realest thing in an admittedly romantic wish-fulfillment tale (Percy as the Ideal Man,  rescuing folks from the guillotine, and glorifying Britain).

I don’t deny the awesomeness of the hero-with-a-secret-identity genre that Orczy started, it is deservedly iconic and has truly captured our imagination since in superheroes and other formats (like Zorro). But Percy is largely just that—superhuman! The problem is not so much that he’s unrelatable as that he’s unbelievable, and Orczy’s obvious infatuation with him is a little cringy to say the least. The realest thing, the most sympathetic quality Percy brings to the story is his love for Marguerite AND his foolish pride which keeps him from her! Alongside the compelling but larger than life story of a fantastic hero, Orczy tells the story of a husband and wife who allow pride and mistrust and hurt feelings to nearly destroy their relationship—and that’s more truly interesting to me than the story’s humorous and fantastical adventures (although I do genuinely enjoy those and think they’re awesome). I think this part of the story elevates Orczy’s first novel far above the rest of the series (admittedly I’ve only read 4 or 5 of the others) and far above the 1982 adaptation and the musical as well, as much as I enjoy both!  I’d love to see another adaption/reboot of The Scarlet Pimpernel that follows the novel’s structure and framing more closely AND puts Marguerite back in her rightful place as a true protagonist (the adaptions do keep her as a protagonist….but like, in a romance novel, cheapened way? Idk, I don’t mean to be hypercritical but I feel like Marguerite’s arc/character get majorly simplified and her humanity is lost, but that’s another post). The fact that the audience knows the Pimpernel’s identity from cultural awareness could actually be a source of tension and drama rather than the opposite?! I’m not denying the story’s humor and irony, but I think you ah r to balance those with the dead serious agony Marguerite (and Percy) go though.

Honestly though, all that being said, the 1982 adaption is shockingly good for what it is, and my main complaint with both it and the musical is really just adding a love triangle between Percy, Marguerite, and Chauvelin. It’s obnoxious enough in the movie, but it’s lowkey character assassination in the musical. I watch the 1982 adaption with great enjoyment, but I think the things I pointed out above are the key differences between “good enough” and “great.”

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to articulate these things, @strangeunknownarbiter! I’d love to hear your thoughts on the portrayal of Marguerite as well, if you want to share!

[stitched-mouth]

TALK TO ME SPOILERS

Just watched Talk To Me, loved it. First horror movie in a while that actually scared me, that being said though it was VERY predictable.

And I don’t think it needs a sequel. Like a sequel would just be telling the exact same story with different characters, not interesting. If they could make a story continuing from Mia’s perspective as a ghost I’d love it though. But that’s a nearly impossible story to write.

Also one specific thing that I loved about this movie is how using the hand and temporarily connecting to spirits is framed like drug use. It’s the new drug teens use at parties and get hooked on and I just kinda loved that connection. Although I do see some people hating it as it is very cringy to see teens using drugs at party in movies but I think it was handed very well here.

And how the end references the beginning with the dying kangaroo. Mia is heavily encouraged to put the kangaroo out of it’s misery but opts not to, and kinda cruelly leaves it dying on the side of the road. But when she is encouraged to put her close friend out of their misery, she goes for it and things end badly for her. I strongly think she did actually try to kill Riley but had no control of her body anymore and when she throw Riley onto the road, she actually threw herself. Not her opting to throw herself after being unable to kill her close friend. She didn’t chicken out this time and it ended badly for her. It makes me think the writers have an issue with putting people and animals out of their misery, especially since Riley survives this and makes a full recovery. It’s like the writers are saying even if someone is on death’s doorstep they can still very much so recover and if you try to or actually put someone out of their misery, karma will get you. I don’t really believe in this message but I like that they had a message in there that explained the dying kangaroo in the beginning.

And I loved the bad ending. I want to see more protagonists end up as ghosts in the end. I don’t know why, it’s just a cool uncommon concept. That being said, I did feel very extremely bad for Mia and kinda wished she had a better ending.

Maybe this is a controversial opinion, but I hated Jade. She turns her back on Mia so quickly and never seemed like a good friend anyway. Also she treats her brother like shit. Like girl he’s 15, if you’re going to do ‘drugs’ in front of him you don’t get to act surprised if he asked to join in. And you can’t physically stop him, like he’s 15 and I know you started doing that shit at his age. Also how she just stood by looking all sad when her boyfriend was being humiliated. No wonder why he hates you touching him. Why did the writers make Jade so unlikeable?

Also Sue, I think she was straight up abusing and neglecting those kids. Mia seemed like she was parenting both Jade and Riley in the beginning of the movie; until she started playing with ghosts and Sue has the audacity to blame Mia. Like she wasn’t the hired babysitter, she is a teenager and your daughter’s best friend why are you leaving her to parent your kids?? And acting like she’s responsible when one gets hurt?? Like Sue can be mad at Mia was partying with her kids when she made it clear she didn’t want a party but she should be mad at all the teens for being irresponsible. Not solely mad at Mia as if it was her job to keep her kids out of trouble.

Wish Max had more screen time, cause his character made NO sense. But I was real sad when he got stabbed. Like he was running to help his daughter, found her in the same way he found his wife when she died and then she stabbed him 😭😭😭😭😭 I almost started crying in the cinema. He also looked a lot like my own Dad, who I have a complicated relationship with, so his and Mia’s relationship felt so similar to me and my Dad and it hurt

I was simping for Hayley for a lot of the movie. And I’m once again questioning my sexuality thanks to them. I’m hoping to see Zoe Terakes in a lot more movies, I’ve heard they are already well known in Australia but this was my first time seeing them so again I hope to see them again. I’m really disappointed the whole movie was ban in Kuwait just because the actor is gender non conforming. We still have transphobia in 2023? Wow.

(Credit to @louxkate for the gif)

edit: just found out I’m not the only one simping for Hayley’s actor, Zoe Terakes, which makes me feel better about not understanding my sexuality.

gonna go see this movie a second time now.

[tendoujo]

Watched the remake's first episode twice ( original + latin spanish dub ) and let me say that I got some thoughts, most of them positive of course. But before I dive into that, I heavily recommend anyone who hasn't watched Ranma 1 / 2 to give the netflix remake a chance ! It got that 80s slice of life humor plus a bit of romance on the side lines. It's called a classic for a reason ! Now, my thoughts under the read more ( pictures included so be aware of possible spoilers ) :

First and furthermost, Mappa did not disappoint with the animation. The fighting scenes we got so far are very fluid, particularly the fighting scenes with Genma and Ranma. Although at first I was a bit hesitant of the chosen color palette, I have to admit that it has grown on me. Actually, the color palette plus the "manga-like" stylized kanjis throughout the explosive emotions gives it a certain unique style that is fits perfectly with Ranma's whole vibe. They just know when to use it and the Akane scream is the perfect example of that:

( Also please look at the AKANE CHIBIS in the background. Gosh, so cute ! I doubt Mappa will release them so I might make it my personal mission to make them HD ).

The stylization feels rather close to the manga so I have no comment on that as it's my favorite Rumiko style. I have to confess that I kinda do prefer the REMAKE'S STYLE over the original's ( and with the original one I mean the style they used in most of the anime and movies, not the style that the original had in the first ten episodes ). Not to mention that certain scenes have almost the exact same framing and reactions from the manga which gives me some hope that they will stay truthful to the comics. Also the rumiko stylized reactions and chibis having a come back 🥺. . .

Like, c'mon, this type of reactions + pastel palette are perfect ���� 🙏 🙏

Now, what makes me the most excited : AKANE'S FOCUS in the remake. I have always been vocal about my dislike on how they managed Akane in the original anime. She went from a main character and co-protagonist to giving all the spotlight to Ranma. And what infuriates me the most : Rumiko has mentioned how Ranma and Akane ARE EQUALS yet the 90s anime made it their goal to turn Akane into some damsel in distress that never knew how defend himself, never letting her fight back and always be the annoying jealous weak girl that she never was in the manga. Gotta point out how it was clear that the 90s anime preferred heavily Shampoo over Akane. . . She always got the pretty dresses, clothes and screentime, Akane at best got a jealous scene. They painted Shampoo as the main rival for Akane when in reality, Akane truly never had a "real rival" and it was more of her vs the REST of the rivals in equal parts.

Don't get me wrong, I like the original anime but certain aspects push me far away from their Akane's portrayal. The remake, however, seems to have other plans. The first sign ( besides trying to be faithful to the manga lol ), is how they gave Akane her deserved black belt. Then in the first episode and in the opening we have clear instances where we are pointed that she IS the main love interest, THE MAIN CHARACTER ALONGSIDE RANMA :

Notice the height difference omg. The opening continuously frames the two as the main characters + showing in the sidelines their rivals or other characters that will grow some interest on them.

Also this type of framings. . . Mappa draws her like she's the prettiest girl in the world and they are so right. Someone on twitter said that this remake was for the Akane fans and I'm glad to announce that they might be right. THIS WAS MADE FOR ME.

If that wasn't enough to prove my point then THE AMAZING ENDING will do so. It's ENTIRELY AKANE FOCUSED ( might make it my new mobile banner lol ). Only time will prove me wrong but so far, even the confirmed merch and Akane figurines is telling me that this time, Akane will get her chance to be the star.

Alright, alright, enough Akane chit chat and back to the usual production opinions. About the seiyus, they did an amazing job and it feels that their voices haven't aged AT ALL. The latin spanish on the other hand. . . feels cheap. They left the seiyu's screams and reactions and only dubbed the phrases so it's pretty obvious that there's two VAs with completely different tones. I was disappointed that from the original cast, only Akane's VA ( Rossy Aguirre ) came back and yet, I was willing to give it a chance but nop, not anymore. The audio mixing is not so good that I'll have to watch the rest of the series in JP. If there's a second season I do hope that this gets fixed.

If you managed to read all that, THANK YOU so much, that was a lot of ramblings OOOPS. Ranma 1/2 has always been my favorite manga so expect rambles like this for every episode.

[srhunt]

Haunted Mansion’s Biggest Issue (to me)

I was very excited to finally see Haunted Mansion this year. I had given up hope on ever seeing this new adaption in the 13 years since Guillermo Del Toro announced it with barely any news in between.

And I did very much enjoy it, it’s at least better than the 2003 film, which is all I wanted it to be.

However, there is one thing that stopped me from loving this movie, and that’s how they handled my favorite happy haunt, the Hatbox Ghost.

Now, design wise, he looks great. He’s intimidating, he’s creepy, all around they nailed it. Not thrilled that he’s played by Jared Leto, but thankfully he’s barely noticeable.

Where my issue begins is when they learn the Hatbox Ghost’s living name, Alistair Crump.

I’m not opposed with giving Hattie an actual name, mind you, and I do appreciate the nod to original Haunted Mansion Imagineer, Rolly Crump (though it’s kinda backhanded to name the villain of the movie after him). But from the moment they learn his name, he stops being the Hatbox Ghost and becomes Alistair Crump. Let me explain what I mean.

Alistair Crump was the child of a wealthy family. He was kicked out of his home by his father after crying too hard at his mother’s funeral. Cut off from his family, Crump had to climb his way back up from nothing. Meanwhile, he studied the dark arts. After his father died under mysterious circumstances, Crump gained control over his family estate. He’d throw lavish parties, inviting the people who turned his father against him. At these parties, he would murder the people he believed played a part in his father’s abandonment of him. Crump would bury the bodies under the house. This continued until his staff discovered his secret and turned against him, decapitating him and burying his remains in the same place he disposed of his victims.

Did you notice something was missing in this story?

Something very important to the Hatbox Ghost?

Like…a hatbox?

Yea, there’s no mention of a hatbox in his backstory.

This issue becomes even more glaring when the protagonists need to find an item that belonged to him in order to banish him.

You’re probably thinking it’s a hatbox, right?

No, it’s his top hat.

The top hat that’s still on his decapitated head.

Oh, is his head inside a hatbox?

No, it’s in the dirt under his old mansion.

Most of the time, ghosts are depicted with items important to them in life. Constance Hatchaway has her pearls and her hatchet, Madame Leota manifests in her crystal ball. And it’s not just the Haunted Mansion that does this, look at Thirteen Ghosts from 2001.

Each ghost has an in-depth backstory that can be found on the DVD’s bonus features, and each backstory explains how they died and why they were selected to fill a specific role in the Black Zodiac. They look the way they do because it reflects their past lives and their deaths.

So why does Alistair Crump carry a hatbox as a ghost if he had no ties to it in life?

This issue drives me nuts because it easily could’ve been fixed. Maybe when Alistair was kicked out of the house, he was only given a hatbox to carry what little he could, or maybe his staff hid his head inside a hatbox.

Crump only has the hatbox so he can do the gag with his head. That’s it. His titular hatbox holds no importance to him. He easily could’ve been swapped with any other ghost in the Mansion and nothing would feel out of place.

The hatbox is so unimportant to Crump that towards the end of the movie, he doesn’t even have it anymore. After we learn his backstory, he’s never seen with the hatbox again.

Even this new Funko Pop figure doesn’t have his hatbox but then labels him, “Hatbox Ghost.”

To me, Alistair Crump and the Hatbox Ghost are two different characters. Crump may look like Hattie, but he is not the Hatbox Ghost. Which is the biggest disappointment of this film to me.

Hattie is such a fascinating and mysterious character in the mansion. He has a backstory that’s never really explored. His role varies from story to story. Why is he in the attic with Constance? Was he one of Constance’s grooms? Why does he have that hatbox? Why did he disappear for so long in the context of the Mansion’s story? Where did he go and why did he come back? Was he a victim? A coconspirator that got betrayed? There were so many ways they could’ve taken his story and they picked probably the weakest one.

It does make me wonder what Guillermo Del Toro’s original vision for Hattie was. But alas, we may never know.

Maybe in another 20 years we’ll get a different take on the Mansion and Hattie.