Call me Stitched!Requests are closed! Minors DNI 18+ Bisexual/UK/Female/INTJMasterlist here! Request Rules here! AO3
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Hi! Okay firstly I love you work! I was wondering if you could write a one shot lien where art the clown and a fem reader is hooking up and the reader is like more on the skinny side of people and art see like a bulge from where he is thrusting and is like ether like weirdly creeped out by it or finds it hilarious. Also I hope this isn’t over stepping I read over your rules and I didn’t think it was but it is please don’t write it or feel like you have to and it is sorry! Have a good day/week
Hey! Thanks so much, I’m glad you like my posts.
I’d love to write this, I’m currently on hiatus and don’t often take requests while in hiatus but I’m still going to take this one because it’s amazing.
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You should all know something important
If my boyfriend were to ever give me a free cheating pass, it would be with Austin Powers. My bf has agreed.
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HOW ARE THERE NO AUSTIN POWERS X READER HERE???!?
So just watched the first Austin Powers movie for the first time, my boyfriend has been begging me to watch it for ages.
But he made a mistake, he has competition now.
I have the fattest crush on Austin Powers.
Also it’s crazy to me how versatile Mike Myers is as an actor. I don’t know how he did Austin Powers, and Shrek so close together.
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Everyone saying they wouldn't fuck Austin Powers is a bitch and a liar. You might not want to sleep with him now but that's just because you have the protection of the screen. If you could experience his horny AOE in person, you'd be shagging before he had the time to say "groovy baby!" The man exudes rizz that defies all logic and negates all disgust. He pulled Beyoncé in one of the movies. Fucking Beyoncé. You think you're stronger than Beyoncé? You're not.
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So just watched the first Austin Powers movie for the first time, my boyfriend has been begging me to watch it for ages.
But he made a mistake, he has competition now.
I have the fattest crush on Austin Powers.
Also it’s crazy to me how versatile Mike Myers is as an actor. I don’t know how he did Austin Powers, and Shrek so close together.
#stitched#stitched talks#stitched writes#austin powers#austin powers international man of mystery#mike myers
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Before you post, think:
Is it groovy
Is it smashing, baby
Is it shagedelic
Does it give you mojo
Does it make others randy
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s4 lila would make cottage core tradwife tiktoks and s2 and s3 lila would take an axe to her head for it
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I love this series! Absolutely recommend.
My Beast/Belle smut master list
For ease of pointing my monster fucker readers to my Beast/Belle smut, here's a master list of all the fics and chapters I've written with some sort of sexual intimacy between Beast in his beast form and Belle, from most graphic/kinky to tamest.
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ Chapter 11 of "Transformation"
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ "A scent there that wasn't there before"
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ Chapter 10 of "Transformation"
🌶️🌶️🌶️ Chapter 15 of "Transformation"
🌶️🌶️🌶️ Chapter 16 of "Transformation"
🌶️🌶️🌶️ Chapter 9 of "Transformation"
🌶️🌶️🌶️ "Scent doesn't lie"
🌶️🌶️ Chapter 8 of "Transformation"
🌶️🌶️ "Air heavy with the sound and scent of rain"
🌶️🌶️ "Warming up"
🌶️🌶️ Chapter 13 of "The Rose Brides"
🌶️ Chapter 9 of "The Rose Brides"
🌶️ Chapter 11 of "The Rose Brides"
🌶️ "Rose-scented bath water"
If you read and enjoy one of these stories, please leave me a comment! Thanks friends!
(Believe it or not, only about half of what I write is smutty, and only about half of that smut is Beast/Belle. So if this isn't your cup of tea, check out my complete master list for non-smut and/or non-monster stories.)
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Don't Stand So Close To Me
Five was doing his best to resist you. You were too young for him. Too eager. But when he decided to try and scare you straight, he got a little more than he bargained for. That's when he realized maybe he wasn't as strong as he thought he was.
Five x Female Reader-Insert, 6,700 words, One-shot
Warnings: Smut, explicit sex, everyone is an adult
This was born from a request I received for Five with a young(ish) woman that won't leave him alone. I have modified a few things, but I hope it still works! ❤️
Five sighed and rolled his eyes when he saw you coming toward him. He had been balancing a bag of dry cleaning in one hand and cup of coffee in the other and was just about to chance blinking inside his apartment instead of using the door when he heard your greeting.
“Damn it,” he muttered to himself, wishing he had just risked spilling his beverage all over his newly pressed suits by disappearing inside. Now he was stuck.
“Here, let me help!” you chirped, jogging up to him.
“No thanks, I’ve got it,” Five argued, but as he did so the bag of clothes nearly slipped from his hand.
“Got it!” you exclaimed with a smile, snatching up the bag.
Five gave a weary smile and another sigh. “Thank you.”
“No problem!”
As Five fished around in his pocket for his key, he tried not to make eye contact with you. Actually, he tried not to have anything to do with you most of the time. You just hadn’t gotten the hint.
“What are you up to tonight?” you asked, and Five could hear the twinge of hopefulness in your voice.
“Oh, you know…the same as usual. Make some dinner, watch Unsolved Mysteries, and go to bed.” He opened the door and took the dry cleaning from you. “Typical old man stuff.”
You nodded as if you knew exactly what he was talking about. You did know, in a way. You knew all about Five’s history, his powers, and his actual age. It’s hard to keep that shit private when your entire life has been broadcast across the world for everyone to witness. Unfortunately, at least from Five’s point of view, you didn’t seem to care.
You bit at your fingernail and looked down at the ground. Five wasn’t about to invite you in, so he waited for an uncomfortable few seconds before speaking up again.
“Ok, well, thanks for your help. Have a good night.”
“Oh…ok,” you said sadly. “Good night, Five.”
As Five stepped inside his apartment and flicked on the light, he draped his bag of suits over a chair, taking a sip of his coffee. He shoved a hand in his pocket and looked around his small, quiet apartment. It wasn’t much; just a shitty one-bedroom with a miniscule kitchen. But that was all he needed. That and to be left alone.
Despite trying to keep a safe distance from you, you had yet to be deterred. Five knew you liked him; it was pretty obvious. Ever since he moved into the building, you hadn’t missed an opportunity to corner him at the mailboxes, or in the hallway. Being trapped in the elevator was the most awkward, so Five tried his best to avoid those encounters by blinking around as much as possible. You always seemed to catch him, though.
It's not that Five didn’t like you. You were sweet, and cute, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t flattered that you were so into him. The problem was that you were 21 and he was in his late sixties. Old enough to be your grandfather; at least mentally. Physically, he was in your same age range, which he assumed made things very confusing for you. While you did know all about his older consciousness, Five figured you conveniently forgot most of the time. Like when you wore those tiny little running shorts with a sports bra and decided to do some warm up stretches directly in front of his door.
Five wasn’t fully immune to your little come-ons. He still had a pulse, after all. Not to mention the hormones and libido of a much younger man. Still…even after all that he had witnessed and done throughout his life, he had managed to hold onto a couple scraps of morality. And only sleeping with women who were over the age of 30 was a personal rule of his.
He wasn’t sure why he picked that age; it was still more than half of his. But he figured most people’s brains had fully matured by then and it made him feel like less of a sexual deviant. He hadn’t had a date or any hook ups in a while, though. Most nights he just came back to his place and did exactly what he told you he did. Old man stuff.
As he stood there, contemplating all of this, there was a knock at his door. Five rolled his eyes yet again and set his coffee down. When he opened the door, there you were, as he suspected. You looked up at him with nervous eyes that couldn’t quite hold his own while holding two large containers of food and a bottle of red wine.
“Hi, again. What can I do for you?”
“Hi, Five. So, it turns out I made too much food for dinner, so I wondered if you wanted some?” You held out the containers to him. “It’s spaghetti and a salad, and I had this bottle of wine that I thought would go well with it. It’s nothing fancy, but I know you’re alone, so you probably don’t have anyone to cook for you…” Your voice trailed off and you looked away.
Five ran a hand down the back of his neck and looked down the hallway. No one else was around and he was hungry. He reached out to take the food, but left you holding the wine.
“Thank you, that’s really nice of you.”
Your eyes lit up at his compliment and you smiled. “Oh, it’s no trouble at all. I cook all the time, so anytime you want me to make you something, just let me know. I’m pretty good at it.”
Five chuckled. “I have no doubt that you are. It looks great.” He was about to go back into his apartment, when he looked back at your disappointed face. Shit. If he didn’t invite this girl in, he was going to look like a real asshole. He was definitely going to regret this, though. “Would you like to come in and join me for dinner? Looks like you made plenty for both of us.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”
Five smiled gently and shook his head. “No, you’re not. Come on in.”
After you stepped in, and Five busied himself making plates of food for the two of you, you set the wine on the kitchen table and looked around his place.
“Wow, I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it.”
Five looked up while he opened the wine. “Isn’t it just the same as your place?”
You nodded. “Yeah, it is. Which is why I’m surprised. I thought yours would be a little…”
“Old man-ish?” Five grinned as he handed you the glass of Pinot Noir.
“…sexier,” you answered with a sly grin, taking the glass from him.
Five’s eyebrows raised. “Sexier?”
You shrugged and took a sip. “I don’t know. I expected more black and leather. Like a real bachelor pad, you know?”
“Yeah, that’s not really me,” he said with a quiet chuckle. “I’m not exactly a swinging bachelor these days.”
You cocked your head to the side. “Oh, no? How come?”
Five saw he had backed himself into a corner and he didn’t really want to get into his love life with you, so he cleared his throat and gestured to the table. “Food’s ready.”
As you sat across from one another at Five’s small dining table, the initial awkwardness began to wear off as the wine started taking effect. You became a little bolder in your flirting, and Five was finding he didn’t mind as much as he usually did. By the time dinner was finished, and another bottle of red was opened, you had moved to the living room to continue your conversation. Five sat down on the couch as you plopped in the armchair across from him, tucking your leg up under you, making your shorts slide up your bare thigh. Five couldn’t help but notice, and you caught him in the act.
As you continued your small talk, Five watched as you fidgeted in your chair. Every adjustment of your body seemed to be just for him, and he found his mouth pooling with saliva that he tried very hard to subtly swallow back down. It was wrong, but he couldn’t help it. The smooth, bare skin of your legs, the curves of your breasts, the way your lips looked so damn delicious as you talked. He was in trouble.
“So,” he said, his voice cracking. “It’s getting late.”
You nodded with an upturn of your mouth before standing up and crossing to Five. As you loomed over him, he looked up, his gaze traveling the full length of your body. The wine was giving you more confidence that you normally would have. He looked so damn good, sitting there with his hair a little disheveled from running his hand through it all night, and you weren’t quite ready for the evening to end yet. You reached down, taking his wine glass to set it on the table with your own. When you climbed onto his lap, straddling his thighs, and draping your arms over his shoulders, he was shocked into silence.
Your warm groin settled over his lap with your tits pressed against his chest. Breathing harder, his hands automatically came to rest on your hips as he looked up at you. You smiled, your hair framing your face as you leaned in to kiss him.
Five closed his eyes, his grip on you tightening for a second as he kissed you in return. You moaned softly into his mouth, pressing yourself down when you felt him start to harden beneath you. That’s when he woke from his trance and pulled his head back.
“Stop.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Look…I like you, but we can’t do this.”
“Why not?”
“Well, there’s a lot of reasons, but namely I’m way too old for you. And you’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk.”
Five rolled his eyes. “Ok, well, I am. And that doesn’t change the fact that I’m about three times older than you.”
“I don’t care.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but this needs to stop before it goes any further.”
“You’re sure that’s what you want?” you asked, tilting your head to the side and giving just a little push into his crotch.
He shook his head slowly, exhaling a long breath. “No, but it’s what needs to happen. Understand?”
After you reluctantly left, Five cleaned up the kitchen, jerked off in the shower, and went to bed trying very hard not to think of you anymore. Over the next two weeks, he did everything he could think of not to run into you in the building again. He was afraid that not only would it be awkward, but that he would start feeling things he shouldn’t.
The truth was, you had gotten to him. Despite his best efforts, that little stunt you pulled by climbing into his lap had worked. Fuck, had it worked. Not a day went by when he wasn’t imagining what would have happened had he not cut it short. Those firm tits pressed against him and your soft lips against his…shit, he was going insane. He had to keep to his rule, though. You were just too young.
But you did not give up easily. You knew what you wanted and you were determined to make him see you as the adult you really were.
“Five!” you called with a little wave, as you caught him trying to enter his apartment one evening.
When Five saw you, he cursed under his breath. He really did not have the energy to deal with you. He had just gotten back from a job and he was not in the mood for your little antics.
“You can’t keep coming over here like this, I’ve told you that,” Five explained, turning his focus back to the key in the door.
“I just wanted to say hi,” you said with an innocence that he wasn’t buying.
“Yeah, I know what you’re doing,” he grumbled.
You paused. “I’m sorry about what happened before, Five. I understand why you might be hesitant, but you know…”
“What do I know?”
“I am an adult, like I said. You don’t have to keep treating me like I’m a kid.”
“You are a kid,” Five shot back.
You looked up at him with a tiny smirk. “From what I remember, it didn’t feel like you thought I was a kid the other night.”
Five’s jaw set, his teeth grinding together. He wasn’t going to stand there and get made fun of by some girl that was determined to get in his pants, even if he did have the beginnings of a boner when she sat on his lap.
“Just stay away from me, ok?” he snarled. “You don’t know anything about me.”
“Oh, please, Five…I think I can handle—”
Five turned abruptly, his face hard with dark brows pulled together. As he leaned in, his jaw set and body tense, you flinched, but did not break your eye contact.
“You think you can handle me, sweetheart? You have no idea what I’m capable of,” he hissed in your face.
Swallowing, but holding your ground, you nodded. “I can handle you, Five. I’m not scared of you. And if you’d just let me get to know you a little more –"
His laugh was laced with menace as he took another step toward you. You were left staring at one another, neither of you backing down. He was close enough that you could hear his harsh breathing through his nose and smell the faint traces of after-shave. His eyes searched over your face before turning back to his door.
“Get the fuck away from me. Please,” he said quietly.
“I know what I’m doing, I’m not sure why you think I’m so innocent.”
Five looked down and sighed. He was tired of constantly trying to maintain his morality. He was an old man in a young man’s body and he was so damn sick of taking the higher road. Most people thought he was an asshole, and they weren’t wrong. He had a high success rate of keeping the people he wanted out of his life out, and barely tolerating the ones he let in. He was a killer. A trauma-filled nightmare wrapped up in a pretty package. He was not normal, and it was time you knew that.
“Fuck it,” he said out loud to no one in particular. As his eyes locked on yours again, his normally emerald-colored ones became dark.
He continued to take another step toward you, and then another, until you were backed against the opposite wall of the quiet hallway. Overhead, the fluorescent lights hummed as a single fly battled for its life inside one of the fixtures.
“Alright…I will confess, I have been thinking a lot about you lately.”
“You have?”
Five nodded, closing in on you until he was inches from your body; close enough that you could see the faint line of stubble on his chin and hear his deep breathing.
“Specifically…what you would be willing to do for me.”
As his gaze traveled over your body, taking in the tight tank top and miniscule shorts you were wearing, you could almost feel the energy pulsing out of him in waves. It was terrifying and intoxicating, and it had you rooted to the spot.
“What do you want me to do for you?” you asked, looking up at him through your lashes, blinking slowly.
“Strip.”
You had been trying to keep up with him. Trying to beat him at his own game. But you sucked in a quiet, yet audible, gasp of air.
“What?”
“I want you naked for me. Now.”
He was still so close to you, his mouth mere inches away from yours, and yet he made no further movement to do anything else. He was trapping you there; playing with his prey for fun. And you weren’t sure if he was going to eat you or let you escape.
“Here?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
He nodded, his eyes never leaving your face. “That’s right, sweetheart. You think you know me? You think you want me? Then, prove it.”
“What if someone walks by?”
Five shrugged with a grin. He took a step back, allowing you enough room to leave, should you so choose. Again, he made no move to grab you, or touch you in any way. He shook his head, eyeing you pitifully.
“Don’t play games you can’t win. It won’t end well for you.”
When you had nothing to say to that, his demeanor changed again. Back to his normal, tired expression, his eyes and mouth drooped. He said nothing more, but just turned back toward his apartment, and opened the door. After he took a step inside, he heard you clear your throat. Turning around, he was faced with an unexpected sight.
With each slow, deliberate step you took in his direction, you started to strip your clothes away. First your top, lowering the straps over your shoulders and drawing it up over your head. Then your shorts, unbuttoning them before sliding them down your thighs and kicking them to the side. Five seemed frozen to the spot, unable to move and unable to speak. But his eyes followed you with an unmistakable hunger.
As you closed in on him, you were left in your bra and panties. With a small smirk, you reached behind you and undid the clasp of your bra. Slowly peeling it away from your body, you watched as Five’s gaze dropped to your breasts.
“Like I said…I’m not afraid of you,” you said, as you confidently jutted your chin out, along with your chest.
Five’s face flickered with shock, followed by what you could only imagine was lust, before it turned to anger. He grabbed your upper arm, squeezing it hard, before shaking you.
His teeth gritted and bared, he snarled in your face. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
You did your best to pretend you were in full control of the situation. “What you told me to do.”
Five’s eyes roamed over your body for a split second, before they were back on your face. He was angrier than you had ever seen him before. And yet, you had a feeling the anger was just masking something else. Something he didn’t want you to see.
At that moment, the loud ding of the elevator doors rang out, signaling that you would soon not be alone. He looked down the hallway and then back at you. When you didn’t make a move, his jaw tensed even more. Stalking past you to snatch your clothes off the floor, he grabbed your arm again.
“God damn it, get inside,” he demanded, yanking you forcefully through the doorway of his apartment.
As you stumbled your way inside, he continued to grasp your upper arm. He slammed the door behind you and got in your face again.
“Are you stupid?” he growled.
You shook your head. “No.”
“Well, stop fucking acting like it. Jesus!” He let go of your arm, leaving you standing there in just your underwear, while he ran a hand through his hair. “You can’t just go around stripping naked in public places just because someone tells you to. What the fuck?”
You smiled and took a step toward him. “What’s the matter Five? Losing at your own game?”
Five’s breath had become louder and harsher. You could practically see the wheels turning inside his head. He wanted you; you were sure of it. The juxtaposition of desire and restraint was evident in every twitch of coiled muscle and nervous hover of his eyes on your breasts. He had been trying to scare you; make you flee in terror at his aggressive advances. But joke was on him, because you fucking loved it.
Another look of anger swept over his face as he laughed darkly. “Shit. You really do not know what you are getting yourself into here.”
You swallowed nervously. “I don’t care.”
“Well, you should. And you should leave.”
Five continued to bore into you with his intense stare. His dark eyes indicated menace, but his stiff body language gave off something else. Fear. But Five Hargreeves does not give into fear easily. When he feels it creeping in, he turns it into something else. Something mean and ruthless.
When you didn’t make a move to leave, he took a step forward. A half-smirk formed on his lips as he crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head to the side.
“Alright then…you’ve been warned,” he said pleasantly, right before his voice turned ice cold. “Now lose those fucking panties before I rip them off myself.”
Slowly, and without breaking eye contact, you hooked your thumbs into the elastic waist of your lace panties and pulled them down over your hips, letting them drop to the floor at your feet. You stood perfectly still, allowing him to take you all in while your chest began to rise and fall more rapidly.
You thought you had him this time. How was he going to resist a fully nude woman right in front of his face? But instead of giving in, like you knew he wanted, he gave a small shake of his head. Still holding the clothes you had discarded in the hallway, he stepped forward until he was directly in front of you, smiling derisively. His face was so close to your bare skin, you could feel the warmth of his exhale along your leg as he bent to pick up the pair of underwear. When he walked casually past you in the direction of the living room, your jaw dropped as he opened the sliding glass doors that led to a small balcony, and hurled your clothes outside. You watched in disbelief as they floated briefly on the light breeze before disappearing out of sight; fluttering to the ground, six floors below.
He closed the doors, turning back to you with a satisfied, yet stony expression. He pointed at the door to the hall.
“Get out.”
You paused, your eyes nervously darting toward the door. “What?”
He flicked a piece of hair out of his eyes in indifference. “You said you didn’t care if anyone saw you. So, leave.”
When you continued to stand there, wide-eyed and confused, he snorted and shook his head. “That’s what I thought. I’m not the nice guy you think I am. And I’m certainly not one of your little fucking boyfriends you can manipulate to get your way.” His voice softened somewhat. “I can give you something to wear to go home in, but don’t ever come back here again. This is over, understand?”
After a few seconds of silence, you nodded your head slowly. “I understand.” With a sly smile, you turned, heading for the door, letting Five get a nice long look at your ass in the process. As you reached for the doorknob, you glanced over your shoulder, relishing in his bewilderment as you walked right out the door without a stitch of clothing on.
Out in the hallway, you tried not to panic. You hadn’t really thought out what was going to happen once you had committed to your little act of rebellion. Your apartment was on the other side of the floor, and you had to pass by many nosy neighbors’ places plus the elevators to get there. As you considered your options, your back was suddenly slammed into the wall, Five’s hands gripping your arms again after he appeared in a flash of blue.
“God damn it,” he seethed in your face.
Without another word, you were being ripped through one of his portals, reappearing inside his apartment again. You let out a small cry of surprise as you were flattened against the door, Five’s body pressed against yours.
He surveyed your face one more time, his eyebrows drawn together in torment. “Fuck, why did you do this to me?”
The next few minutes were a blur as Five released everything that he had been holding back in one ferocious attack. His mouth sucking and biting at your lips, his hands fisted tightly in your hair, and his hips jerking into you. Something feral and instinctual was propelling him, and you let him unleash all of it onto you.
With another tight hold on your wrist, you were dragged away from the door and whipped through a second portal, this time landing on his bed with a hard bounce. While you scrambled to sit up, Five had stripped off his shirt and was already unbuckling his belt, the clink of the metal drawing your attention to his hands as they unzipped his fly. Breathing hard through his nose, he looked at you, running a hand through his hair while pushing it off of his forehead.
With his cool green eyes locked on yours, he crooked a finger at you, beckoning you over. You worked your way off the bed, hesitating for just a moment, before closing the few feet so that you were standing directly in front of him.
He leaned down, a hand gently cradling the back of your neck, as he kissed you softly. You thought maybe you were going to see a new, tender side of him. Until he latched a hand onto your shoulder, gripping you hard while pushing you roughly down, forcing you to your knees. As he glared down at you, dark hair framing the sharp angles of his face, one corner of his mouth twitched up.
“You talk a big game, honey, so go ahead. Let’s see that mouth of yours in action.”
He was trying to intimidate you; to show you he was the boss. But you weren’t naïve and you weren’t dumb. There were subtle hints, like the way his breath hitched when he spoke to you, or the slight tremble in his hand as he guided your face up by your chin that gave his nerves away.
With your own small smile and a lick of your lips, you reached up to pull the black suit pants down, taking his boxers with them. Five let out a shaky exhale as his hard cock stood at attention in front of your face. With another coy glance up through soft lashes, you took him into your hand. He was bigger than you would have guessed, and you slowly stroked his thick shaft, pressing your thumb into the underside while following the vein from base to head. When you stretched out your tongue to give a kittenish lick across the tip, he hissed loudly, bringing his hand down to rest in your hair.
“Shit,” you heard him mutter under his breath as you started in.
He didn’t let you work up to it with teasing kisses or circles of your tongue around his dripping head. With one shove of his hand on the back of your head, his dick was down your throat. You let out a clipped groan that ended in a gurgling noise, before he was pulling you back and off again. With eyes wide and already gasping for air, your hair was tugged backward so that you were forced to look up at him.
An eyebrow raised, Five questioned you with a low voice. “Still think you can handle me?”
From your position on the floor, he towered above you like a god, watching as you worshiped at his feet. Your eyes traveled over his sculpted abs, his toned arms and shoulders that flexed with the effort of holding your head back. You took in the scars that dotted his abdomen and thighs; the line of soft hair that trailed from his navel to the main event. He was being rough, yes, but there was something in his eyes that gave him away. Like he wanted so badly to be something else, he just didn’t know how.
You nodded your head in an answer to his question, as his magnificent cock bobbed in front of your face, and you opened your mouth wide.
“Fuck,” he growled from deep in his chest.
Five was losing his mind, he was sure of it. All of his pent-up anger and frustration over his body/mind/age situation was coming to a head; and he was shoving that head directly and violently down your throat. He couldn’t stop it. He didn’t want to stop it. You felt so damn good, with your warm mouth wrapped around him and your tongue sliding over the taught skin of his shaft. As his hips jerked into your face, harder and faster, he watched as you gagged and choked on his dick; saliva building up at the corners of your mouth as you so dutifully let him fuck your face.
“Ah…ffff-uu-goddamnit…yes, fuck yes, don’t stop…ah SHIT!”
His head was thrown back in complete bliss as he unloaded copious amounts of cum directly into the back of your throat, the sheer volume making it pour out the corners of your mouth and dribble down your chin. The rest you swallowed, choking down the steady stream of bitter semen while he moaned above you and fisted your hair even tighter.
As he finally began to relax and the last few twitches of his hips came to a halt, he dared to open his eyes and look down at the sight below him. He had loosened his grip on your hair, allowing his dick to slip out of your mouth. You gasped and sucked in the much-needed air that you hadn’t been getting as he released you entirely. Collapsing onto your hands and knees, you coughed and wiped at your destroyed mouth while Five did nothing more than stare down at you with a kind of horrified fascination.
What had he done?
When you looked back up at him, though, and he saw that devilish smile sneak across your lips, daring him to give you more, he stopped caring. It was clear you were going to let him do whatever he wanted. And, fuck, if he didn’t want to do so many things to you.
“Up,” he commanded, still trying to catch his breath.
He held out his hand for you to take, letting him haul you up to standing. He ran a hand down your cheek and kissed your ruined lips. There was that moment of softness again, and you closed your eyes against his touch.
Five guided you so that you were sitting on the edge of the bed. After another kiss, this time leaving you breathless, he dropped to his knees between your legs. Gripping your thighs in his hands, he roughly pushed your legs apart while pulling you closer to him.
Digging his fingers into your hips, he buried his face into your wet, throbbing pussy, and moaned.
“This wet just from sucking my cock? Fuck, honey, you’re driving me crazy.”
Alternating between long laps with his tongue and sucking at your clit, it was obvious he knew exactly what he was doing as you leaned backward, holding yourself up with your hands flat on the bed. When you dropped your head back, it banged against the wall, but you barely noticed since you were already on the cusp of a strong orgasm.
“Five…” you gasped, eyes clenched shut and biting at your bottom lip. You tried desperately to rock your hips into his face, but his grip was too strong. He was devouring you; eating you out almost viciously, while your palms began to sweat as they pressed harder into the bed. “Five…holy fff-uck…OH GOD!” you screamed as one last, perfect lick sent you reeling. With your entire body shuddering, Five only went at you harder; until you were letting out quiet, pitiful cries, and your thighs twitched against his head.
As you tried to catch your breath, Five finally let up, tearing himself away from your warm deliciousness, and standing up to lean over you. He was just as out of breath as you were, with his mouth shining and lips red. A mixture of your arousal and his saliva pooled obscenely underneath you.
“That was…holy shit…” you tried to get out, but you were cut off almost immediately.
“I’m not done yet. Not by a long shot,” he rasped.
Though only minutes had passed since he had unloaded into your mouth, his cock was hard again. As he rummaged around in a drawer, pulling out a condom, and rolling it on, you scooted back so that you were lying down lengthwise on the bed. There was no more time for rest, though, before Five was climbing on top of you, that look of voracity overtaking him again.
He began to kiss you; hard and insistently while running his tongue over your bottom lip and venturing inside. It was a mixture of intense want and hesitation as he squeezed your ass with one hand and lightly stroked your hair with the other. When he pulled back, he looked deep into your eyes, his hand coming to rest gently on your cheek, his thumb pressing under your chin.
“What do you think, sweetheart? Ready for more?”
With a slow smile forming on your face, you nodded.
“Fuck yeah. Give it to me.”
Five groaned, closing his eyes and dropping his face to your neck. His teeth scraped against your skin as he kissed you fervently while your fingers threaded through his hair. The second you opened your legs for him, he was shoving himself inside. Sucking in a loud breath, he buried his face into your shoulder.
“Fuuuck…you are tight…god, you feel so fucking good,” he moaned pitifully into you.
You threw your head back against the pillow with a loud moan. “Oh my god, I knew your dick would feel amazing.”
He didn’t respond, but he took both of your legs and balanced them on his shoulders, angling your hips up to push his dick in even further. He was buried to the hilt, with his tight balls slapping against your ass each time he drew back and slammed back into you.
Five was gone; completely lost inside his own debauched fantasy. He wanted to fuck you harder and harder until you couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to make you cry out his name while your back arched off the bed like you were possessed. When his eyes met yours, with the strands of hair stuck to his forehead from the sweat already forming there, you bit your bottom lip and smiled. You knew exactly what you were doing to him, and that made him want to absolutely ruin you.
Smacking your ass hard enough to leave a mark before throwing your legs off his shoulders, Five roughly flipped you over. He forced the side of your face into the bed as he thrust inside you again, stretching your pussy and filling you up with his thick cock. His ragged breath warmed the side of your neck with each punishing drive of his hips against your ass as you whimpered softly.
“Come on, honey, let’s hear it,” he snarled next to your ear. “You’ve been dying for me to pound that sweet little pussy…so let me hear you. I’m not stopping until I get what I want.”
“Fff-iiive,” you sobbed, your fists clutching the bedspread underneath you as he railed relentlessly into you.
“That’s right,” he answered, and you could hear that cocky smirk on his face. “Beg me.”
“Five…please…you feel SO…FUCKING…GOOD!”
The angle of his cock thrusting inside of you, along with his body trapping you beneath him, was more intense than anything you had ever experienced before. You were on the verge of coming; your cries becoming louder while you desperately tried to suck air into your lungs. The sting of his dick drilling inside of you was still not enough to mask the pleasure that was building. It hurt but you still wanted more.
Soon, that inevitable feeling of warmth and tightness formed in your core and you let go with a loud scream that echoed off the walls of his bedroom. Your body convulsed under his as his hips stilled against your ass when he expelled himself one more time. The groan that left him as he came was loud and long, leaving his arms shaking as he held himself over you.
After he was able to move off of you, you continued to catch your breath as you rolled over to face him. Five was kneeling on the bed, chest glistening with sweat and heaving as he flipped his hair out of his eyes. He didn’t say a word, but after a few more seconds, he climbed off the bed to dispose of the condom. You eyed him nervously. You had no idea how he was going to react, or if he was already regretting everything.
After tugging his boxers back on, he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Are you ok?” he asked, his voice tight.
You nodded and sat up. “Yeah, I’m ok, why?”
Five shook his head. “I was way too rough, I shouldn’t have…but you…” he trailed off, his frustration with himself evident. “Look, you got your way. This is done now, alright?”
With a roll of your eyes, you moved off the bed so that you were standing in front of him; the muscles in your sticky thighs aching from the movement. “Get over yourself, Five. We both wanted this, so stop pretending I put some spell on you to make you change your mind.”
He was silent, but he nodded, a brief flicker of a smile forming on his lips. “I’m sorry about your clothes.” He got up to grab a t-shirt from one of his drawers and handed it to you. “You can wear this; it should be enough to cover everything.”
As you worked the too-big shirt over your head, Five pulled his pants back on, zipping them up but leaving the belt hanging open. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a small, balled up pair of women’s underwear. With a guilty smile, he tossed them over to you. “Here.”
You laughed in disbelief. “You stole my panties? What were you going to do with them?”
Five shrugged. “I hadn’t figured that out yet.”
Shaking your head, you looked down at them in your hand. “Such a dirty old man.” Glancing back at Five’s guilty face, you threw them back, and he caught them against his chest. “Keep them. I kind of like the idea of you doing weird things with them.”
Five made no comment, but he tucked them back into his pants pocket with a lop-sided grin. He held out his hand. “Come on, I’ll blink you back to your apartment so you don’t have to go back in just a t-shirt.”
You thought for a second, but shook your head. “No thanks. I don’t mind a good walk of shame now and then.”
As Five walked you to the door, you gave him a lingering kiss and trailed a hand down his arm. “Maybe the next time I make too much food, I’ll come over and share it? Think you can handle that?”
A smile slowly spread across Five’s face and he nodded. “Yeah, I think I can handle that.”
Then he watched as you walked away, wearing nothing but his t-shirt. He shook his head, not quite believing what had just occurred. He had thought he was so damn smart with his moral high-ground and superiority. But as it turned out, you had gotten the best of him. He lost at his own game. Tucking two fingers inside his pocket to stroke the silky material of your panties, he smiled to himself, thinking about how this may have been the first time in his life that he hadn’t minded losing.
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This is kinda weird but… I very often slap my bf’s ass and say in a guy voice, “nice ass 😎”
And I want Five to have someone who does that to him
#stitched#stitched talks#stitched writes#netflix#tua#the umbrella academy#netflix series#number five#five hargreeves#the boy#tua five#also i choose to ignore s4 tua#it didn’t happen
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Five didn’t need a love story because he already had one.
The entire series is a one big love story. Love isn’t just attraction or romantic. The Umbrella Academy is about Five doing everything he can to save and protect his siblings. If that isn’t love then I can not tell you what is.
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Thinking about this shot from S1 again…
I’ve seen multiple people refer to it as the ‘dollhouse shot’ and I think that perfectly describes it.
The way there was used and puppeteered in their childhoods by Reggie to be picture perfect. They were manipulated and exploited for years, treated like toys to do whatever you wish with.
But as ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ plays in the background, it emphasises their new independence. It really pushes how they’re free from the over-looming control of Reggie and the manipulation they had faced is finally over.
They are finally free.
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I doubt anyone care about where I was when I started and finished The Umbrella Academy but it matters to me which is why I’m posting this.
My Love Letter To TUA & 14 Year Old Me
On 30th July 2020, I watched the first season of TUA. I saw promotions for the second season and was bored so started it. I was 14 years old and it was the summer holidays so I was out of school, sitting with my Mum trying to find something to watch. We were both immediately hooked. Like, hooked hooked. We finished the whole season in a day and the second season the following day. We watched in the living room which was rubbed down and full of my Mum’s belongings after some hard to explain family issues. But we wasn’t living comfortably and I had just started having suicidal thought.
Umbrella Academy became one of the few things at the time to shake me out of a suicidal meltdown I’d have in my bedroom alone. It had immediately became my favourite series and Right Back Where We Started From become by far my second favourite song. They were powerful things that frequently saved me mentally. I had never felt as close to anything else before.
I also got to meet Robert Sheenan in May 2022 at MCM, our conversation was extremely brief but I think he understood how much the show meant to me and a lot of the other people there. And guess what? My soulmate was in line behind me, we didn’t notice each other and properly meet until nearly 2 years later in the same place.
On 22nd June 2022, I started the 3rd season. I was 16 years old, it was once again the summer holidays but I had work. I was 4 hours late to work that day because I decided to start the new season. I watched 2 and half episodes and finished it while on holiday at Centre Parcs with my Dad (last time I saw him) that following weekend.
I had just gotten out of hospital a week before it came out after trying to end my life. Even though I was immediately back to work, I was heavily supervised to prevent me trying to end my life again.
On 9th August 2024, I started the 4th season. I was late to it because I was out the day before with my two partners. I’m 18 years old now and have left home, don’t see much of my parents or sister, live with my two partners and am in my first throuple. I’m also happy for the first time in years. I have my own space to myself now, have grown and mature a lot since 2022. I’ve been homeless, job less and heartbroken since then. In the last few months, it all changed for me. I found people who actually love me and I haven’t had a suicidal thought in almost 1 year now. I finished the final season with my two lovers who also love TUA.
Even if I didn’t love this season as much as the first, it will always remain deep in my heart. I still feel so close to this show, like it’s a friend or something or even a love. I didn’t have anyone else back in 2020 so the feeling was foreign and exciting, fortunately I feel that for real people also now.
I have finally found myself and become happy. It makes me look at 14 year old me, the one who was miserable and constantly made mistakes, and I love her. And I sympathise with her. I think about how lonely she must of been, to rely so much on a TV show to make her not want to kill herself. I wish she had my friends and family but at least she had TUA. Possibly my broken timeline was how much I used to to feel like I needed to be someone smarter, like Five.
Right after my 18th birthday, I got a tattoo to represent my love and gratitude for the show.
I love you TUA, thanks for everything
#stitched#stitched talks#stitched writes#netflix#the umbrella academy#netflix series#the umbrella academy netflix#robert sheehan#tua#tua s4#tua season 4#tua spoilers#umbrella academy netflix#the umbrella academy spoilers#the umbrella academy season 4#umbrella academy season 4#umbrella academy#umbrella academy five#umbrella academy tattoo#the umbrella academy tattoo#the umbrella conspiracy
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