#i feel like there was another instance i can't recall right now but. yeah.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

in vw, ashe will worry about dedue (and nobody else mentioned in particular/by name) after gronder and hope he survived, bc he heard rumors that dedue died. it made him rly fckn sad.

in ag, when the capital is in danger and dimitri was a hostage to protect his people, everyone worries about rodrigue and gilbert. ashe is the one who worries about dedue.

i love that for them and i love that ashe cares about dedue as much as he does.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve was hard of hearing and kept putting off getting a hearing aid despite Robin's instance. He's gotten pretty good at lip reading when he needs to. He can still hear when someone's close, but Eddie tends to move when he talks. At this moment, he was going on one of his rants, and Steve really wants to hear him better. Desperate, he hopped over the coffee table and jumped directly in front of Eddie. He cupped Eddie's face to keep him still.

"Okay. Now talk," Steve said.

"Uh. . . ," Eddie blinked at him.

"What?" Steve asked.

Eddie stared at him, and Steve could feel his cheeks warm underneath his fingers. Eddie's cheeks were surprisingly soft, and Steve couldn't help but caress his cheeks with his thumbs. He really liked holding Eddie like this. . . and if he were to lean in, he could close the distance, but Eddie wasn't a girl. Suddenly, Steve found that he didn't care that Eddie wasn't a girl. He wanted to kiss him anyway.

"I suddenly can't seem to remember what I was talking about," Eddie said.

"Yeah, me neither," Steve said softly, and he moved closer to Eddie.

"Steve. . . " Eddie trailed off, and he could feel Eddie's breath against his lips.

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm having a sexuality crisis," Eddie said.

"Me too."

Eddie's fingers ran up Steve’s arms to his shoulders as he moved closer, and he let his hands trail down until they rested against the small of Steve’s back. Steve shuddered.

"Fuck."

It was Eddie who closed the distance. Really closed the distance. He slammed into Steve, nearly knocking him over as he crashed his lips to Steve’s, and wrapped his arm's completely around Steve’s waist. Steve gasped against his mouth, causing it to fall open, and Eddie immediately slipped his tongue in. Eddie grinned as Steve moaned against his mouth. He let his hand slide down lower and cupped Steve’s butt before giving it a squeeze. Steve squeaked, and Eddie giggled delightfully before breaking the kiss. Steve wrapped his arms around his neck.

"What is this?" Steve asked.

"Well, it felt a lot like we just made out a little," Eddie said.

"Ass, I know that. Like, what are we?" Steve asked. "I mean, I still like girls, I think."

"Me too," Eddie nodded. "Are we boyfriends?"

"Do you want to be boyfriends?" Steve asked.

Eddie looked thoughtfully at Steve and cupped his face.

"Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. Boyfriend!" Eddie grinned. "Yeah, I like it."

"Heeeyy, boyfriend," Steve said slyly and squeezed his hips, causing Eddie to giggle.

"I've never really been boyfriend material. I've come close once, but I fucked that all up and I broke her heart. Not my proudest moment," Eddie said. "I don't want to fuck this all up and break your heart too. I want this to work."

"I want this to work too," Steve said softly.

A little while later, they were cuddled up on the couch with Eddie's head in Steve's lap as they watched TV. Eddie turned his head to look at Steve.

"Hey, you know Robin, right?" Eddie asked.

"I vaguely recall my platonic soulmate," Steve said dryly.

"You know how we both know about Robin?" Eddie asked.

"Because she told us. I was there when she told you. You called her pretty, and she was like, "Oh God, not another one. Why do I keep attracting boys when I want to attract girls? GIRLS?!" Steve said.

"I was being platonic when I called her pretty," Eddie mumbled.

"Anyway, yes, I know we both know about Robin," Steve said.

"Do you think on some level she knew about us before we knew about each other?" Eddie asked.

"You mean, because she's queer, too? Like some sort of spidey sense?" Steve asked.

"God, it's so hot that you read comic books," Eddie said. "But yes, like that."

"Hmm, maybe we could ask her to hang out and see," Steve said.

"Okay, because this is not going to be our first official date," Eddie said. "I'm going to woo your ass off."

"Looking forward to it," Steve grinned.

A little later, Steve went to pick up Robin so they could all hang out and left Eddie at the house.

"You are lucky that I am not seeing Vickie today," Robin said as they walked through the door.

Eddie jumped into the hallway, a grin spread across his face.

"There she is, one of my best friends, and there's my boyfriend," Eddie said.

"Settle down, Munson. You saw me two days ago," Robin rolled her eyes and walked past him. "So, what are the plans?"

"It didn't even phase her," Eddie said.

"Give it a moment," Steve said.

Robin came to a sudden halt, froze for a minute, and then whirled around. Her eyes were comically wide.

"Did you just call Steve your boyfriend?" Robin asked.

"As of today," Eddie said proudly.

"So. . . you two are dating?" Robin asked slowly.

"Yep," Steve asked.

"You two do know that you two are guys, right?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, I was very aware of that when he crawled into my lap earlier and felt him rise up against me," Steve said.

"I like girls but I also like Steve," Eddie said.

"I like girls, and I also like Eddie," Steve exclaimed.

"Yeah, thanks because I didn't know what bisexuality is," Robin rolled her eyes.

"There's a word for it," Steve whispered to Eddie. "Did you know there's a word for it?"

"No!"

"But you two apparently didn't," Robin said and shook her head fondly at them.

"So, you didn't know about us before we knew about us?" Eddie asked.

"I'm just as surprised as you are," she replied. "How did this start anyway?"

"Well, I was talking, and Steve suddenly grabbed my face. . . By the way, why did you grab my face?" He asked.

"You were talking, and I'm hard of hearing, but you kept walking away. I wanted to hear what you had to say, so I held you still," Steve said.

"That explains so much. . ."

"Get a hearing aid, dingus!" Robin exclaimed, and then her face softened. "Thanks for telling me, the both of you."

Sometimes, people just know who they are, and sometimes, it takes others a while to figure it out. Everyone grows their own way.

[bountyhunter1409]

Hello there ma’am! I was wondering if I could request a headcanon with Hunter & Tech? And if they had a s/o who’s pretty forgetful? This is up to you but thank you so much! 🙏

author's note: thanks for your request, anon! Hope this is what you're looking for!

warning(s): none, just fluff

divider by: @plutism

"Is this going to be a reoccurring habit?"

At first, Tech believed your forgetfulness simply to be that of human error—a once in a blue moon type of thing that he could easily look over.

When it became clear that this was going to amount to an almost everyday obstacle...well, he became annoyed to say the least.

Forgetting how to pilot the Maurader was one thing —despite Tech having shown you the mechanics countless times—but forgetting your weapon when you needed it most was another bridge he couldn't risk crossing more than once.

Tech's annoyance, of course, was birthed from pure worry for your safety and everyone else's. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if something were to happen to you because you didn't have what you needed.

"Just trust me. After all, based off of prior instances, I am the least forgetful out of the both of us."

Upon learning that your forgetfulness was going to be a reoccurring habit, Tech finds himself checking after you. Despite being an expert on the mechanics of ships, he'll take it upon himself to go behind you and check your work and question it.

At first it's insulting. You think he doesn't trust you, that you can't handle yourself.

In order to ease his anxiety, Tech even keeps a close eye on you whenever a new mission is set upon the squad.

He goes through a checklist of items you'll need right before the Maurader lands— listing them off out loud, as you confirm with a reluctant 'got it ' or a curt 'check'.

When you've shamefully tightened the straps on your boots, Tech senses your frustration annd walks towards you.

He places his hand on the small of your back, pulls you close to him and kisses your forehead, before pressing your foreheads together.

"Now, are you sure you've got everything?"

"Tech!"

"Are you...uh, forgetting something?"

Yeah...you're a bit of a liability to Hunter.

Given that he already has Omega to worry about, he's not at all thrilled that you're forgetfulness pops up more than he would've liked. But thankfully, he isn't as blunt as Tech about your misgivings.

In fact, Hunter tries to help you out.

He's already packing an extra blaster in case you forget yours. He sets aside a knife just for you to keep in case of emergencies. He's always at your side during missions just in case he has to catches you when you fall. Or rather, remind you.

"I just want you safe."

Of course, at some point you start to think Hunter believes you're incapable of taking care of yourself. Or being beneficial tot he squad.

This is far from the truth in Hunter's eyes. So much so, he pulls you aside one quiet night on the Maurder.

His hands settle on your waist lightly and your hand resting against cheek. The skin under your fingertips is scarred with wrinkles birthed from exhaustion.

Without saying a single word, you have a feeling you were the cause of those tired lines on his face.

"Is this about the incident on Ord Mantell?" you whisper in the dead of night. You cringe, recalling you had forgotten what position you were supposed to be in just before the rancor came charging at you. Hunter had stepped in front of you, taking the bulk of the force so that you didn't have to.

The next day Hunter woke up more sore than usual.

Hunter is amused by this, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards at the memory.

He shakes his locks and brings you close to him in an embrace, his chin resting on the top of your head.

"Perhaps we'll have you stationed in the ship for the next mission. You and Omega both."

It's a joke, because you both know you and Omega are too stubborn to sit and watch the others on a mission.

You laugh at as you lightly hit his chest armor. Hunter grunts playfully. Before you can fully pull away, Hunter pulls back to him. It's this silent embrace that ensures you he only cares about your wellbeing.

[hedjblogr]

so i gotta make a full ass post about my last reblog because i would be doing the situation a disservice if i posted it only in the tags.

puts my grubby little pizza hands together and takes a deep breath

so.

around 2019-2020, so pre-pandemic, i was working for a small startup business. this was through a scheme that my local council was paying for, to get people into employment and to help local small businesses. great stuff on paper! fantastic stuff even!

this business was uh. well. the guy running it was maybe not the best personality match for me when it comes to a boss, but that's something better demonstrated than plainly stated. i don't wanna say he was a bad guy because that'd be unfair, but i was not the only person who struggled with dealing with him. i won't go too much into his personality either because this isn't about making a smear piece, this is about processing my struggles with illness in the workplace.

so, yeah. i'm a chronic migraine sufferer. it varies from headache and dizziness severity to "i'm having spots in my vision, i feel like throwing up and i literally can't do anything but sit with my head in my hands and my eyes closed tight and make pathetic noises". i'm still not entirely sure what my triggers are for it, but right now i'm thinking it's linked to drastic weather changes, hydration, stress and poor sleep.

i also have moderate to severe depression and anxiety. this ebbs and flows, it always impacts me at a certain baseline but a lot of the time it's background noise. my anxiety tends to flare up more than my depression, admittedly, but hoo boy do they both hit me bad when they hit me.

these were going unmedicated at the time for various reasons.

so, by the very nature of a startup business with less than 10 employees, a lot of us had to do a lot of different kinds of work. that's fine, i'm multiskilled, i don't mind doing a variety of things. but i was definitely more of dog's body than whatever the hell i originally signed up to be, which was more of an administerial/clerical position. aight, fine, i've worked in retail, i can do sales. i'm a computer nerd, i can do social media marketing and graphics. you want me to train people? uhhh sure i guess. and learn UX? fine okay. wait you want me to learn to code as well??? i'm not getting paid enough for this.

so it was a very stressful job. very anxiety-inducing job too. i was told both that i had a lot of responsibility and i was NEEDED, and that the company would simply keep going without me and it didn't matter if i quit or was let go.

oh! fun fact by the way. remember i mentioned my local council was paying for me to be on this scheme? they were paying him. he was getting my work for free, technically. granted, i was getting paid a wage, but he was not the one paying it. yeah. it's great on paper until you consider the way things went in practice.

on one instance i recall that i had my entire evening monopolised, because unbeknownst to me i had apparently agreed to run a live training with someone who was using our product and using it during the evening hours. and i was apparently required to field phone calls from them all evening. i didn't sign up for this, i didn't get paid for these extra hours.

on another instance, i recall we got locked in the building we worked in because we stayed too long (as it was not a privately owned building, we were renting space in a public college), and i was literally in tears with panic about getting out. graciously i was given the next day off work to decompress, but i should never have been put in that situation to begin with. this was due to a bad call on my boss' part.

i'm getting a little distracted here, my apologies, but this thing happens when i start digging up old grievances and trauma that i remember tangential things and it just kind of goes from there.

but yeah. i actually discovered through this job that i suffered anxiety attacks and what they felt like, and that my anxiety was a liability, and i began to suspect through this job as well that my frequent headaches that often led to me feeling like throwing up were not in fact just regular ass headaches.

i didn't feel like i could get sick notes in this situation. i felt like my employer would turn them down or simply fire me.

oh, but you know the time i HAVE used sick notes?

universal credit. good ol' department for work and pensions. rule britannia and all that.

fuck off with that shit actually, they refused my last sick note even though it was ongoing because it listed my depression and anxiety, and they decided that i was actually entirely fine even though they told me i could work on reduced hours to still be eligible for benefits because of my health conditions, and the job search has - to no one's surprise - been making my health conditions WORSE.

(edit: i should clarify, they DID accept sick notes for a time, but eventually i needed to undergo a work capability assessment, and this is when they decided that i still had capacity for work - which i do agree with, there are things i can do! - and then proceeded to ignore the part about it being for reduced hours.)

guess who's been crying themselves to sleep more nights than not, and struggling to sleep, and having erratic schedule, due to scraping to even get an interview only to be NOT EVEN TOLD that i didn't get the job! and that's if i even get a reply back from the first application!

yeah. there's a lot of shit wrong with healthcare and a lot of shit wrong with employment right now. and as it turns out there's a lot of shit wrong with me.

i'm probably gonna delete this post after a while because i always feel bad dumping shit like this on main, especially when it feels like it's old news and i just haven't processed it because i know i'll never get closure. but sometimes i just have to let myself write, and maybe if i post it someone else will come to a realisation and it'll help them. i dunno.

[deathfavor]

Kazutora watches Chifuyu's expression as he takes another sip of his drink; he looks shocked. Shocked, and then angry. It's weird. Usually HE is the one to be angry first. He can't really recall any instance where he wasn't. If it wasn't anger, then it was pain or sorrow. Either way, Kazutora's always the one who is the mess first, not the calm one. Then again, he's spent over 13 years of his life with his own self loathing in a cell - there's little else to do in a cell other than become used to it. Can't really act on it in prison compared to the free world.

Chifuyu's anger is met with nonchalance when the tiger shrugs. " It's true. " His voice hasn't even changed from its typical tone. " Three bodies means you're a serial killer. I've caused two. " His lips twist into a bitter smile - the first reaction he seems to have. " And I ruin everyone's lives. Guess my father was right after all. Like father like son. Turns out two fuck ups just create a third. Yeah, that's how I see myself. " He snorts and squints up at the sky for a moment before looking back down. Just in time it seems.

Surprise paints his features when his drink is thrown away, a displeased whine leaving the back of his throat. He paid good money for that summer special! The thought doesn't last long when his jaw explodes with pain. That is at least familiar. He lifts a hand slowly to press against the impact site, relishes briefly when pain surges from the nerves. Pain has always been a familiar friend to the wounded tiger. He knows what to do with that at least. It's the words that cause him to suddenly tense and finally the nonchalance shatters.

" HE ALREADY FUCKING KNEW! " Kazutora snaps finally, lifting his head with a glare. " He knew how much I hated myself even back then. Can you imagine how much worse it is now? We wouldn't even BE here if he had just let me jump off the fucking roof any of the times I tried. " He spits out, and he can feel his mind slipping back into the black tar. " Or if Mikey had killed me. You know, I WANTED him to. At least after I stabbed Baji. Not before that. But after? I didn't say any of that shit back then because I believed it, I was just selfishly pissing him off so he'd lose control. But then Baji-" He's shaking and he's not sure if it's anger or pain or both. " - stopped it again. And then Takemichi of all people stopped him. " And what can he do but give a bitter laugh at that? The noise scrapes at his throat. " Hell, even fucking Hanma stopped me before Bloody Halloween. " Maybe it was because Hanma cared, maybe it was because he had a use for him, most likely it was somewhere inbetween. It seemed like everyone care about Kazutora's life more than Kazutora did.

He grabs the front of Chifuyu's shirt and shoves him against the wall, but he doesn't hit him, just pins him there with a slight tremble. " Sacrificed? That's such a nice way to put it. I killed him, Chifuyu. He was MURDERED. " His eyes squeeze shut as he exhales slowly, focuses on the ache in his jaw as he loosens his grip and drops his arm. " Now I'm here and nobody wants that, not even me. " He stares, dead-eyed and flat. " So yeah, I'm pretty fucking sure Baji knew I'd say shit like this. "

What... is that? Silence. Floored. Wide-eyed, Chifuyu only stares for a moment as his hands carefully drop to his sides. Kazutora's said a lot of things about himself that are poor. Off-handed remarks or maybe even purposeful ones, but this is entirely different. Lips parting, Chifuyu's unsure of how to feel about the comment. Yeah, because people really want someone who's one body short of being a serial killer. The sensation in Chifuyu's chest is visceral like his sternum had been wringed out the way a sopping towel might be abused.

Kazutora's response scrapes something rusted and eldritch from the depths of Chifuyu's mind. While his claws have been retracted, they're still present. Years have passed since he's truly felt angry like this, but there are some things he won't stand to witness or allow. Clenching his jaw, his posture tenses.

“ ... one body short of being a serial killer? Ruining lives? What the fuck, Kazutora? ” There's berating and belittling oneself. Then there's harboring such an intense resentment that leads to such a deep resentment that forgiveness is an unreachable distance. Hands clenched to fists, his eyes sharpen wildly. Every instinct screams to attempt to punch those thoughts out of Kazutora, and maybe he should. “ Is that seriously how you see yourself?! ” Chifuyu shouts abruptly as if any patience he'd carried moments ago has been erased entirely. Nothing's working. Nothing gets through to Kazutora. How would Baji get through to him? Heaving a deep sigh, Chifuyu decides it doesn't matter how Baji would have done things. The only solution he has now is to figure out a way of his own.

Digging his nails into his palms, his shoulders tighten. Suddenly, Chifuyu's marching to Kazutora. Without a second thought, he rips the drink from Kazutora's hand and throws it a good few meters away where it promptly shatters along the driveway. Swiveling where he stands, the same hand turns direction and sharply impacts Kazutora's jaw.

“ DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK BAJI-SAN SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR YOU SO YOU CAN SAY THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT YOURSELF?! ”

[teaveetamer]

Please rank all Fire Emblem games you've played from gayest to least gay

Oh my god ok I'm gonna do this from least gay to most gay because I think it's more fun that way

Least gay: Fire Emblem Awakening. Granted it's been awhile since I played it and maybe I just missed a lot of it the first go around, but I don't recall feeling a lot of gay vibes from it.

6) Probably FE4. Not that FE4 doesn't have gay potential (it has so much gay potential) I just don't think it was fully realized. It's an older game, no supports or anything. There's so much they could do with it. Shannan and Oifey raising Seliph as gay dads??? Plus, you can't tell me that Sigurd, Quan, and Eldigan weren't all banging.

5) Fates. Look as much as I love Fates and all the gay ships in Fates I think it's still got some risidual Awakening on it and they didn't want to go too hard on the gay because they wanted to keep the marriage mechanic front and center. Niles and Rhajat are carrying the game hard to keep it from going full Awakening.

4) SoV. There's even CGs that look like boyfriends arguing over the best color for the kitchen backsplash okay. Oh, and it has the series' one (1) instance of an explicitly gay man that is not related to the avatar character in any way. Not higher because there's like no gay ladies tho.

3) Sacred Stones, maybe? This one is hard to place because I haven't finished it, but... I mean it's clear that everyone wants to bone Ephraim, right? It's not just me? Everyone is into him? Even the final boss? Cool. Eirika has some nice gay with some of the ladies as well.

2) Three Houses. Blue Lions truly are the BL house. I don't think Dimitri can go five feet without meeting another man who wants to lovingly rail him. He has sexual tension with basically every man he's ever been on screen with. Mercedes present for the ladies as well.

Gayest: Path of Radiance. Good god you cannot go two feet without stepping in something ridiculously gay. The fanfic practically writes itself. Ike has a cat boyfriend and a tsundere boyfriend. The pretty heron man gets sold to a creepy old dude and then is rescued by his boyfriend. The Lion King has his own Dedue. It's just. *Chef's kiss*. I'm not too far in Radiant Dawn yet but my lord, I'm pretty sure Tormod and Sothe banged and there is no heterosexual explanation for Heather.

"But Vee!" I hear you all saying, "there's no explicit same sex love in that game like there is in 3H/Fates/SoV! Shouldn't those games be higher" to which I say... yeah well it was made in the mid 2000's. If you think homophobia is bad now, think about how bad it was 20 years ago!

[love-little-lotte]

10 Musical Theatre Songs I Listen To When I'm Sad

Here I am again with this type of list that no one really asked for. I am torturously bored and I need to do something... a bit productive in my spare time. I can't bear to watch another movie or TV show 10 hours straight. My eyes (and lower back) are literally begging me to stop. (They're still suffering as I write this in my very dark room, but ah well, at least I get to exercise my writing.)

Anyway, this list is going to be all about the show tunes I listen to when I'm feeling a bit under the weather or overwhelmed. There are times when I wake up and just feel so sad and I absolutely have no energy to do anything. When I feel this way, I usually just spend the entire morning in bed, drowning myself with music until I feel a bit better. The following songs are a huge part of me getting over my melancholia.

For the record, I can't give reassurance that these songs will make you feel okay as I do. Sometimes, I come up with a whole different meaning to a song because I interpret it differently from the original story. It's always up to you how you perceive a song.

(Disclaimer: I arranged these songs randomly to avoid favoritism, so this is not exactly a "ranking" list.)

1. I Miss the Mountains — Next to Normal

Next to Normal is such a beautiful musical, and it's definitely part of my Top 5. Diana is one of the most complex characters in this show, and she sings this gorgeous, thoughtful song during one of her vulnerable moments. In this song, she reminisces her life before her medications and how it only made her feel less of herself.

I speak for everyone when I say that, every so often, we lose sight of who we are. Whenever I listen to this song, I ponder on moments from the past, like Diana. I'm reminded of the person who I was before, even though it's unhealthy to wallow too much with regret about instances from the past. Nevertheless, it is important to address your sadness to make yourself feel better. You need to feel these emotions before deciding to pull yourself together, even if that means confronting past experiences. You can learn from them, so you won't make the same mistakes again.

Most memorable lyrics: I miss the dizzy heights / All the manic, magic days / And the dark, depressing nights

2. Breathe — In The Heights

One of my all-time favorite songs. In In The Heights, Nina has hit rock bottom, dropping out of college because of too much pressure. She hasn't told anyone, and she's worried about what everyone, especially her parents, would think.

The song is not exactly what you call "reassuring." After all, for most of the song, Nina recalls how a lot of people believe in her, how she was "the one who made it out," but now she's returning as a failure. However, this song could also be seen differently: despite the intensity of our problems, it's nice to just breathe. Sometimes, things go beyond our control, and that's fine. All we have to do is to look the problem right in the eye, breathe, and overcome it as best as we can.

Also, it's nice to try and belt your problems away with this song.

Most memorable lyrics: Mira, Nina (hey) / No me preocupo por ella (they're not worried about me) / Mira, allí esta nuestra estrella / They are all counting on me to succeed

3. The Story Goes On — Baby

Yeah, I know this song seems a bit out of place in comparison to the rest of the songs in this list. The song is from Baby, and it's sung by Lizzie as a first act closer. After feeling her baby's first kick while pregnant, the realization of being a mother hits her hard. She sings of her hopes and dreams for her baby in this very beautiful (and belt-y) song.

As a single person who doesn't want to have kids (well, right now, at least), I don't know why this song means so much to me. Maybe because it has such a very hopeful message: that there is something greater destined for us in the future. While Lizzie revels in her newfound love for her unborn baby, I revel in the fact that whatever I'm facing right now, this too shall pass, and my future will be better. I may have given the song my own interpretation, but somehow, it works for me.

Most memorable lyrics: And now I can see the chain extending / My child is next in a line that has no ending / And here am I feeling life that her child will feel / When I'm long gone

4. A Soft Place to Land — Waitress

While I usually bawl my eyes out during "She Used to be Mine," this song from Waitress also does its job of making me tear up. This is one of the subdued moments in the story, where Jenna sings about a better life while Becky and Dawn support her. The song doesn't really have a lot of deep lyrics like the more popular eleven o'clock number, but this song is like a piece of advice to stay on dreaming, no matter what happens.

It's tough when life decides to throw some crap on your way. You might stumble before you get up again. But you can always count on your own thoughts and dreams to help you keep going. And with a solid support system through family or friends, you can always be ready to take on anything.

Most memorable lyrics: When your breaking point's all that you have / A dream is a soft place to land

5. Being Alive — Company

With its main theme about adult relationships, Company tells the story of Robert — also affectionately known as Bobby — and his troubles with commitment. Most of his friends are in relationships, maybe not ideally happy. After getting a glimpse of his friends' love lives, in this stirring song almost at the end of the show, Robert sings about choosing to be "alive" rather than "alone."

While the song in the musical leans more to romantic relationships, I sometimes listen in a slightly different manner. Even though most of the time I prefer my own company, it's something else when you get to spend your happiness with the people you love. When you're sad and hurting, you might want to bottle everything up. But this song makes me realize that it's okay to open up to the ones you love. You don't have to go through life alone. After all, you only truly feel alive in the company of your loved ones.

Most memorable lyrics: But alone / Is alone / Not alive

6. Corner of the Sky — Pippin

Prepare your jazz hands because next up is this very hopeful and beautiful song from Pippin. Also, let me just say that this song is up there with my all-time favorites and makes me feel better, no matter what. It's that good. Anyway, this song serves as Pippin's "I Want" song, the one that sets out his story. With this, Pippin revels in wanting to find his destiny and the meaning of his life.

When sadness so great engulfs me to the point I feel utterly useless, I try to focus on things that I want to achieve in the future. I muster every ounce of hope and positivity that I could to fight the blues away. It's tough, sure, and maybe it's sort of delusional, but it helps to know that I'm the only one who can control my fate. Just like Pippin, I'm in search of better days.

Most memorable lyrics: I've got to be where my spirit can run free / Got to find my corner of the sky

7. Sonya Alone — Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812

Sonya is one of my favorite characters in musical theatre. She's sweet, caring, and will definitely not hesitate to put you first. In Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812, Sonya finds out her best friend's grave secret and sings this captivating song. She wants to help her, even if it might mean losing her trust.

Now, I have a way extravagant interpretation of this song. When I listen to this song when I'm sad, in my head, I'm Sonya, and I'm singing this to myself — or at least, my sad self. There are many times in our lives when we don't feel like ourselves, that we hate the person we've become. And when this happens, we realize that we are the only ones who can help ourselves. At the end of the day, despite the comfort of people all around us, we're left with our own thoughts and feelings. We are our own friends. This song is sort of my reconciliation to my true self. Try listening to the words of this song as a way of comforting yourself; it truly might help.

Most memorable lyrics: I will protect your name and your heart / Because I miss my friend

8. Answer Me — The Band's Visit

Near the end of The Band's Visit, there's a beautiful, little song sung by a minor character. He's referred to as the "Telephone Guy." He sings to his lover on the payphone, hoping she would answer him. And when she does, the townspeople and musicians sing over their longings as well.

The song is so simple, but such a tearjerker. When I first listened to this, my heart completely broke, and I don't even know the context. All I know is there's this person, singing about yearning and heartaches. Honestly, I'm not even sure if I could put to words what I feel the song means to me. There's just so many things to love about it: the simplicity of the lyrics, the way everyone slowly joining in the song, the helplessness of asking for somebody to listen to you.

Most memorable lyrics: Are you there? / Are you there? / Will you answer me?

9. Those You've Known — Spring Awakening

(TW: mention of suicide) This part in Spring Awakening never fails to send a chill up to my spine. Everything from the choreography down to the lyrics is so powerful and thrilling. When Melchior realizes that Wendla has died, he becomes distraught, blaming himself for her death and Moritz's, and decides to take his own life. The spirits of Moritz and Wendla then appear to offer consolation and urge him to carry on. In the end, he decides to continue living and promises not to forget his friends.

It's one of the darkest moments in the musical, and that says a lot. But, at the same time, it's also very heartening to watch Melchior overcome his dark thoughts with the help of Moritz and Wendla beyond the grave. This song is a reminder that as humans, we make a lot of mistakes but we don't let this defeat us. Yes, we carry a lot of guilt from our past experiences, but we won't forget them. Instead, we learn from them, so we don't have to repeat them again.

Most memorable lyrics: Now they'll walk on my arm through the distant night / And I won't let them stray from my heart / Through the wind, through the dark, through the winter light / I will read all their dreams to the stars

10. No One Is Alone — Into the Woods

I mean, duh! This is like the ultimate musical theatre comfort song. I can't tell you exactly how many times I listened to this song during the pandemic. Into the Woods is the musical retelling of fairytales we've known in our childhood. This song, which is one of the show's popular ones that even non-theatre people can recognize, is sung by Cinderella, Little Red, Jack, and The Baker. At this point, they are the only ones left; Little Red and Jack are despairing over their losses, while Cinderella and The Baker respectively comfort them.

The title is already self-explanatory: it's an assurance that whatever problems life gives you, you are not going through it alone. Someone is always on your side. These days, it's easy to feel that you are fighting your battles on your own. Just remember that wherever you are, there are still people who love and support you.

Most memorable lyrics: Witches can be right / Giants can be good / You decide what's right / You decide what's good / Just remember (just remember) / Someone is on your side (our side, our side)

____

There you have it: the songs that I love listening to when I'm down. If you're still reading at this point, then I just want to say thank you for sticking with me and my rambles. The next time you feel sad, you can try giving these songs a chance. You never know, you might feel a little bit better.

[washidashi]

Part 3 of me explaining the Basil Brothers Propaganda

Welcome to Part 3!! of this longer-than-needed explanation on my Basil Brothers Propaganda which is kindly sponsored by the anon who asked about it 😎🔥 I think this will be the last part for now until there are major developments on this movement in which I'll gladly update soon mwehe :3

Here's Part 1 and Part 2 in case you missed 'em and need the full context of this whole thing

[insert disclaimer and spoiler copied from Parts 1 and 2 oK LET'S GO🏃‍♀️💨💨💨]

So the months of May-mid June were my 👌peak👌 of Rowan and Basil content, I would just talk on Twitter nonstop about them and my followers and mutuals had to sadly witness it all

Eventually, it did die down because of a lot of things: I got busy working on my thesis, people were slowly losing interest for Rowan, and times were just changing P-:

Then in comes this amazing artist who drew just as amazing art of Stranger, I don't want to repost their art here but their Twitter handle is @/strange_fl0wer and they just make the most art ever !!!!!!! 💥💥💥

You can head to the Media tab and search through his art and you'll find it eventually, bUT THEY'RE A BIG ENJOYER OF STRANGER AND ROWAN TOO MY HEART SOARED 💗💗💗

I got so inspired I tried to make art of his Stranger design bc it was that good but ofc I can't compare waha :"-]

As you can see by the lower right doodle (aha yeah you do) my brain just started seeing him as an addition to the brothers :-]]

Eventually, my brain went back to its brainrot of Basil and his brother but now with an added 's' to the end bc they gOT BIG BRO STRANGER NOW WITH THEM EYYY WOOHOO 🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉

I just went kwazy again now with the addition of @/strange_fl0wer's Stranger as a big brother figure to them. Here, have some doodles on them!

Like with the conception of Rowan I didn't think too much of his concept and identity yet except for the fact that he'd be the older brother to the twins

I'm sure I made some hc of him in my Twitter somewhere but I can't recall kjsdfbkds gl finding them ig..🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ but here have some more art to give you an idea on how I visualize their dynamic as brothers!

I think that's all the art I've made on them (for now). So, my objective to dump all that here is accomplished 😌👌 I will just share a few more things tho to wrap this up!

As much as I love to use 'Stranger' I think my mind really wanted to come up with another name for him especially with this human/non-cryptid version, and I just came across some tweet on how he would go under the name Sage in the real world and my gOD it clicked on me so fast you wouldn't know

Verbatim from this one tweet I made on Twitter:

Just saw someone say that Stranger would go under the name Sage if he was in the real world and I'm. Feeling Things 😳 how we feeling about that boys i think it sounds cool and fitting with the theme of them having plant/herb/tree names 🤓

Adding that the sage personality/archetype is often associated with being the "seeker of truth" and is described to be knowledgeable, assured and guiding KEKLRLADK PLEASE I CAN'T SEE BIG BRO STRANGER IN ANY OTHER WAY BUT THAT 😭😭 but idk idk i could be reaching idk idk 🥴

So, yeah!! I'm just gonna refer to Big Bro!Stranger as Sage in any future instances that I'll talk about him with my Basil Brothers Propaganda 😎 and....yeah that's about it for now, dear Anon! I hope this.....explanation helps in a way :'-] thank you for letting me indulge in it skdjfbsdf

ONE MORE THING. while I did say that I'm not planning on making some full-fledged story/AU with these characters, the artist I mentioned above has something akin to it in the works! If you'd like to know more about it I suggest you head to his twitter to find out :-]

[notkageyamasprincess]

youth | tsukishima kei x reader

characters: childhood friend!tsukishima kei x g/n!reader

genre/warnings: fluff, a tiny crumb of angst, typical unrequited love EXCEPT IT’S NOT UNREQUITED, maybe crack if you really squint, no warnings except maybe cussing? anyways they slow dance in a playground 💞

words: 2.4k

summary: you and tsukishima are on a late-night snack run when you pass by the playground where you met as kids. together, you reminisce about childhood memories, make a few realizations, and make plans to fulfill an old promise.

notes: listen to youth by troye sivan while reading if you’d like. also, i tried to make the reader gender-neutral, hopefully i didn’t accidentally miss something

The sound of distant traffic and rustling leaves filled your ears as you and Tsukishima walked home from your trip to the nearby 24-hour convenience store. The snack packaging crinkled in the plastic bag he carried, and your footsteps fell into a comfortable rhythm beside him. The orange gleam of the streetlamps created tall shadows of your silhouettes, stretching across the pavement in front of you. Turning your head, you recognized the familiar metal railings of the old playground you visited countless times as children.

You tugged at his sleeve to stop him and pointed to the entrance. 

“Do you remember when we used to come here all the time? Let’s go sit for a while, I don’t feel like going home yet.”

“Suit yourself. It’s cold, I’m going home,” he responded, a scowl on his face. He hands you the bag and continues walking.

“Hmm, I bet you just want to leave so you can go text your crush. Your mom would be pissed if she found out that you left me out here alone at this hour, though. Auntie loves me like I’m her own child, you know that” you called out, grinning mischievously. 

He stops in his tracks. “____, are you threatening me?”

“Nope,” you replied in a sly tone. “I’m just a master of persuasion.” You don’t wait for him to reply and started cheerfully towards the swings, knowing he would follow you. You grinned even wider when you hear his strides coming closer.

You couldn’t see it, but a ghost of a smile softened his expression as he trailed behind you.

“You’re annoying,” he muttered. 

Fine, whatever. As long as it makes you happy.

You set down the plastic bag next to the swings and nudged his shoulder as he approached you. “Look, I’ll treat you to a hot drink to make it up to you. There’s a vending machine over there, what do you want?”

“Coffee’s good.”

As you hurried over to the machine, he gazed at your retreating figure illuminated by the dim glow emitting from behind the glass. He chuckled as you propped your chin on your hand, carefully pondering the options before you.

Your eyes flitted over the labels before finally settling on what to get for yourself. 

Milk tea it is.

You returned, tossing him his coffee which he caught effortlessly. 

He met your eyes with an amused look. “Took you long enough.”

“Hey, it was a difficult decision!” 

You plopped down on the swing next to him and popped open the tab on your own drink.

------☾------☾------ 

You swayed back and forth, tracing circles in the gravel with your foot as you and Tsukishima recounted your childhood antics. Breaths rise in puffs as you nursed your drinks.

“Sometimes I wish we could be kids again. We didn’t have anything to worry about…”

He hummed in agreement. You snuck a glance at his handsome features. Moonlight reflected off his glasses as he sipped from his can and you felt your cheeks burn when you realized you were staring at his lips.

And I didn’t have to hide anything from you. Especially not my feelings. I didn’t need to suppress my jealousy when girls asked you for “help” on solving problem sets, or when you brought up your crush. I didn’t have to act like I wasn’t sulking when you received other people’s chocolates on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have to worry about ruining our friendship.

You quickly caught yourself and shook it off, putting a plastic smile on your face. “…I want to go back and relive it again,” you continued.

He quirked an eyebrow. “You sure? What about the time you tried to play hero when Yamaguchi was getting bullied, and then you ended up twisting your ankle?”

“I didn’t expect those boys to actually fight back. Plus, they were nearly twice my size, I didn’t think they would be that low,” you huffed.

“Who knows what would have happened if I wasn’t there.” 

“Luckily, my knight in shining armour came to the rescue,” you giggled, recalling how he had to carry you home on his back. “Anyways, if that didn’t happen, then we wouldn’t have become the Three Musketeers.”

“Dude, stop calling us that, it’s embarrassing.”

“The point is, as far as I know, all my memories with you guys are good memories.”

Tsukishima felt a smile tug on the corners of his lips yet tried hard to conceal how happy that made him feel.

“You’re such a sap. That’s because for the last ten years, I was constantly saving your ass and cleaning up after your messes,” he scoffed.

But I don’t think I’d mind doing that for another ten years. Or twenty.

You noticed faint music coming from his earbuds and perked up.

“Hey, you’re using the earbuds I got you for Christmas!”

“Of course, dumbass. What else would I do with them?”

“I still think you seem cooler with headphones but at least now no one gets to call you broke,” you joked.

He winced. “Isn’t that a dead meme? Also, they’re convenient and I like how they’re wireless.”

You just beamed at him.

He loved how pleased you get over the smallest things. He loved how your eyes became crescents when you smiled. He loved how easy it was to read you. Your emotions were always written on your face and you never made him guess.

God, I���m whipped. 

You finished your drink and placed it on the ground. “So, what are you listening to?” You reached over to take an earbud and found a saccharine love song crooning in your ear. “I didn’t know you listened to stuff like this,” you teased. 

“That’s because I don’t. Did you forget that you were the one who added this to my playlist?”

“Excuses, excuses. Just admit it, it’s a good song.” You leapt up and made a move to pull him up. “Let’s dance.”

“The hell? No way, why would I?”

“Come on, there’s no one else here except us, and I really want to.” You gave him your best puppy eyes and begged. “Kei-chan…Please?”

Tsukishima felt his resolve weaken.

This is bad. Why is it so hard to say no?

“I told you already, drop the -chan,” he said, reluctantly letting you drag him away.

You wrapped his arms around your waist and looped yours around his neck. “Oops, I guess old habits die hard.” You looked up at him. “Kei.”

The tips of his ears tinged pink and he felt the back of his neck heat up.

Shit, shit, shit. Calm down, she only said your name. Stop freaking out.

“Hey, your neck feels really warm right now. Didn’t you say you were cold?”

“Shut up, that’s just because of your sweaty hands.”

“Deal with it.”

------☾------☾------

You gently swayed to the tune and closed your eyes, savouring the moment. 

He glanced down. The moon shined on you and accentuated your long eyelashes, cute nose, and rosy lips. A slight breeze swept over the two of you and your hair fluttered softly in the air before coming to a rest, framing your face once more.

When did this brat get so attractive?

He averted his eyes just in time before you noticed. The current song ended, and a more upbeat track began to play. It was “Youth” by Troye Sivan.

“Do you want to stop? This is probably too fast to dance to, and you’re going off the beat,” he pointed out.

“No, it’s alright. I’m having fun and I really like this song.”

You reached into his coat pocket to put the song on loop then laid your head on his shoulder. Truthfully, this was the most romantic thing you’ve ever done. You wanted to press pause on the entire world and stay in your haven for as long as possible.

“Kei, do you know what just came to mind? This is the place where we first met, and I remember being obsessed with you at first because I thought you looked similar to the main character from my favourite movie. Back then, I made it my goal to marry someone just like him.”

You smiled wistfully at the memory, recalling how you followed him around everywhere like a lost puppy. You found it hilarious that you liked him even then.

He smirked. “Yeah, I avoided you like the plague and I got so fed up because you wouldn’t stop pestering me to marry you.”

“Yup! You even told me that kids are too young to marry but I just made you swear not to kiss other people and to marry me when we were old enough,” you laughed. “Now that I’m looking back on it, that was a pretty stupid promise.”

He honestly didn’t think it was that stupid. There were things that were more stupid in the world. One of them being your taste in men, for instance. He was tired of hearing you gush about a new guy every month.

You and Tsukishima allowed yourselves to get lost in the music and immersed yourselves in the lyrics.

My youth, my youth is yours Tripping on skies, sipping waterfalls

My youth, my youth is yours Run away now and forevermore

My youth, my youth is yours A truth so loud you can't ignore

My youth, my youth, my youth My youth is yours

  “We should go soon. You mentioned you had plans tomorrow morning, right?” he asked.

“I do, but it’s nothing too important. I’m meeting up with Terushima-san.”

His expression soured. “You mean that greasy bastard with the tongue piercing who tried to hit on you at one of our games? Why are you going on a date with that guy?”

“It’s not a date!” you protested. “He asked me to hang out with him once and then he’ll stop texting me.”

He tightened his hold on your waist.

Don’t go.

“You should have just ignored him, it’s not like you owe him a date,” he grumbled.

Why are you wasting your time on him?

You shrugged. “Too late now, it’d be rude to cancel so last minute.”

He rolled his eyes.

Are you trying to make me jealous? Open your eyes, I’m right in front of you! 

You froze. 

Did I hear that right?

You slowly pulled out of the embrace and scanned his face. He looked at you with an indecipherable emotion. Your heart sped up and you hesitated, wondering if you should say something. 

But why would he be jealous, that’s just wishful thinking right? Isn’t he in love with someone else?

You questioned him with a hopeful tone. “Kei. Can you say that again? I might have misheard.” 

Tsukishima’s expression morphed into one of perplexity. And then it dawned on him. 

Oh. Oh. Fuck, fuck, FUCK. 

You started talking before he got a chance to collect his thoughts. “I heard something about jealousy, and I think I heard you say, ‘Open your eyes, I’m right in front of you.’” Your imploring eyes nervously met his own. “But that can’t be right. You were just telling me about the person you were in love with last week.”

Shit. So, you heard it all. 

His mind was racing for ways to take himself out of the current situation. He didn’t think there was much damage control he could do at this point, but you seemed confused and skeptical of what he just said. Maybe he could try to play it off. 

Or... what if I took the opportunity to come clean?

He took a deep breath. “Actually, I’m in love with you, ____. The person I was talking about was you.”

You couldn’t believe your ears.  Never in your wildest fantasies did you entertain the possibility of him returning your feelings. 

He’s in love with…me? This is a dream. This has to be a dream. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to respond. This is why I didn’t want to tell you,” he continued. “Look, just give me some time, it doesn’t have to be awkward between us or anything, we can act like how we were before.”

He loosened his hold and started to pull away when you suddenly gripped his shoulders.

“Kei. Pinch me.”

“What?”

“Pinch me,” you repeated. “Ow!” You rubbed your cheek. “Okay, this is definitely not a dream then.”

You gazed up at him and carefully placed your hands on both sides of his face. 

“Listen, I feel the same way. I love you. I’ve loved you since we were sixteen.”

His eyes widened. He gathered you in his arms and engulfed you in a hug. He felt relieved. He felt like he was in the clouds. He felt like he was on a high that he would never come down from. 

You laughed and wrapped yourself around him. 

After a couple minutes, he finally spoke. “____, this might be happiest moment of my entire life. The only thing that can top this would be the moment I see you walking down the aisle towards me. I’m serious. I fully intend to marry you.”

“I have no complaints. As long as you don’t go back on your words, I guess you’re stuck with me.”

“Idiot.” 

“I’m your idiot now,” you grinned. 

He kissed you on the forehead and smirked. “That’s right.”

You melted at the rare display of affection. Almost immediately after, an amusing idea came to your attention and you cracked up.

“What’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking, I feel like I should pat myself on the back and congratulate myself. Six-year-old me would be very pleased at how things turned out.”

He snorted. “Yeah, maybe you were onto something there.” 

“There’s one thing I’m curious about though. When did you realize you had feelings for me?”

“I’m not exactly sure. I think it was sometime during the first year of junior high that I started seeing you differently and noticed that I liked you as more than a best friend.”

Your jaw dropped. “You’re kidding. For real? You’ve suffered for way longer than I had.”

His cheeks flushed scarlet and he avoided looking in your direction for a few seconds. “Well, I wouldn’t call it suffering, but at least now you know.” Then, he caught your eyes and stared at you intently. “Hold on, you’re not still going on that date tomorrow with Terushima, right?”

You smiled reassuringly. “Not anymore. I mean, tonight changed things. I have a boyfriend now, yes?”

“Yeah. Unfortunately for him, you’re mine.”

“I’m yours.”

My youth, my youth is yours A truth so loud you can't ignore

My youth, my youth, my youth My youth is yours

My youth is yours

My youth is yours.

a/n: okay if you actually read to the end, thank uuu!  i’ve had the idea of slow-dancing in the night while listening to youth for a couple years now, it’s just been floating around in my head and i decided to take a chance to write it out! started as a cute date idea but alas, i have no partner to re-enact this with... so there you go! i honestly wanted to write kageyama for my first piece but tsukishima fit a bit better lmao. please feel free to give feedback or general thoughts!

[writing-without-time]

if you can't handle a heart like mine

don't waste your time with me.

read it on ao3

this is peak canon divergence me complaining about minor in game things but make it fluff while i did it

More often than not, Bonnie found herself at the heart of Slumbering Weald.

A beautiful area that was so quiet, so serene, so perfect to just sort out your thoughts. A lot of the time, Bonnie had ran into Hop sitting by the water, contemplating random problems. But today she was alone, as she sat on top of the tombstone belonging to heros. She had come here to think. Not really to solve a problem, no, there's no solving her issue, just to think about it. Calm down, maybe. She breathed deep as she clung her cape close briefly, before letting it drop on the ground behind her. Hopefully Zacian wouldn't mind.

Bonnie was stuck thinking about her adventure. What lead her to now. Not just the adventure itself, and for once, not about Hop, and the shared nights, and camping together under the wild area night sky, and battling together and against each other... She shook the thought from her head. Not the problem right now. She figured she'd have a fucking relationship crisis, 'oh no, i like my childhood best friend!' bullshit later. What bothered her was a common occurrence that also stood out beyond everything. It was this habit her friends way older than her had.

It happened alot. She could recall a few select times: Outside of Spikemuth, when the dynamaxing started happening, when Hop and her had found Lee and Chairman Rose at the top of Rose Tower, and a few other instances that passed through her mind. She was told the same thing, every single time: "Don't worry, let the adults handle this."

She hated it.

She didn't like to admit it, but Bonnie grew up young. She had to. And so it got under her skin, and in a more "adult" term, pissed her the fuck off, every time. She knew there was no hard feelings behind the statement, she and Hop were only sixteen. She supposed some people would still consider that young. She pondered though, how much bullshit would we have avoided if we just let Bonnie and Hop help out for like, 10 fucking seconds? Probably a lot.

When she had left Rose Tower, she had knew, oh she was aware that Chairman Rose would entirely fuck up her match with Lee, but she hadn't told anyone. But look who was right? It was her. She always knew something was wrong, and that Leon and Sonia and all the others couldn't handle it without Hop and her- as conceited as it sounds- but she would be dismissed because she was a kid.

She supposed, in theory, it was nothing to seethe in rage over. One, it was all over now, and two, she had long proved she is more than just a kid. Hell, she's the fucking champion! But it still got under her skin, bothered her. It made the depths of her soul question: Was she ever good enough? Did she still have to prove herself? Is she still just a silly little kid? She sighed, frustrated as ever as she looked to the setting sun and began to hum. Humming and singing helped clear her mind, as she began to sing a song where she couldn't remember where it came from, hands running through her hair as she tried to relax herself.

"..and cut a rug with orphaned girls, now memories are blurred, and their faces are blurred, but I still know the words to this song-" She sings softly, sounding awfully louder than she was in the quiet area.

"I haven't heard you sing in a long time." Hop laughs, causing Bonnie to literally shriek as she falls backwards off the tomb she sat on, only to be caught as she falls back into Hop's chest. "Woah! It's just me." He laughs, shit eating grin on his face as Bonnie looks up at him.

"You're an asshole.." Bonnie mutters, ignoring the small smile that graced her own face while she stood up.

"What a role reversal." Hop laughs, ignoring the comment as he looks at Bonnie with his hands folded behind his head. "Aren't you usually the one running into me?"

Bonnie rolls her eyes. "Not my fault you're late to your scheduled therapy appointment." She snickers, which causes Hop to laugh as well.

"Well, what has you out here?" Hop asks, picking up Bonnie's cape and throwing it around his own shoulders, something he jokingly did often. Bonnie liked it. He sits down where the cape once sat and invites her to join him.

"Just.. frustrated about stupid things." Bonnie sighs. "You?"

He shrugs. "Stressed, a bit." He laughs nervously. "Being a professor is hard. But I'm not giving up!" Hop smiles confidently.

"That's the spirit." Bonnie smiles, messing with his dark purple hair, causing him to swat her hand away, and she laughs as he fixes his hair.

"What's got you frustrated?" Hop asks as their laughter dies down, turning to Bonnie with a more serious tone.

Bonnie sighs. "Something about our..adventure, I guess."

"It's not something I did, is it?" Hop looks worried.

"No, no no, not at all!" Bonnie rushes to clarify. "Quite the opposite, actually.. I just.." Bonnie runs a hand through her hair, effectively messing it up and making it look like shit. "Do you remember, how every time we tried to help Lee and Sonia with things, we were told to 'let the adults handle it'?"

"What do you mean?" Hop asks, tilting his head slightly in an adorable way.

Bonnie thinks of the most easy to remember instance. "Back in the Rose Tower, when we found Lee talking to Chairman Rose." She lists, careful to not bring up their shared kiss, Arceus forbid she decides to have a crisis about that. "When we left with Lee, he just told us not to worry about what we heard. And...well, that went great." She rolls her eyes.

"I.. suppose you're right.."Hop says, seeming to recall the moment Rose had made a bitter remark- 'there are times when adults just cant seem to have an honest discussion with each other. sometimes our pride gets in the way.'

"It just- it's been bothering me. So much shit could've been avoided if someone just listened to us. It felt like we had to run 20 miles and more just to prove we're not just little kids." Bonnie sighs, letting her head roll back and hit the concrete behind her.

"Yeah, I suppose." Hop says, turning to Bonnie. "But that's part of the glory of it. We went from just random kids from a farmer town, and look at us now! Heck, you're the champion!" Hop cheers, only bringing a small smile to Bonnie's face.

"And what about you?" She asks. She had a solid answer to that one. He was her entire world. But she wanted to see his answer.

Hop hesitates. "I-I'm.." He breathes in. "I'm gonna be the best damn professor in all of Galar." He grins confidently.

"Hell yeah." Bon smiles, letting her head rest on Hop's shoulder as she observes the sun has already gone all the way down, and they were now greeted by the stars.

"You're the best champion in all of Galar, Bre." Hop says, quietly. Bon halts. Bre was her real name. She didn't use it much anymore. Not after she moved out of Kalos. Hop was the only one who knew her real name, and he didn't use it a lot. She didn't trust a lot of people to know her real name, cause what was the point? It didn't mean anything good to her. But it meant something good, that through everything, even when her name poured out of his lips, she wouldn't flinch, just for once, and it wouldn't be a reminder of her horrible story.

"..Thank you, Hop.." She sighs, letting her head rest again. Hop lets his own head rest on top of hers, and they're warm and quiet as they watch the sky turn. It's a comfortable silence until Hop breaks it.

"Bon." He calls.

"Yes, Hop?" She asks, quietly.

He hesitates for a couple beats, his face turning as red as it can. "Do you.. you.. I-" He struggles.

"Take your time." Bon laughs softly. He rolls his eyes as he and Bon both pick up their heads to look at each other.

He waits a few more seconds, and she nearly see the gears turning in his head. "You.. Do you know I.. I love you..?" He asks, almost afraid of the answer.

Bon hesitates before nodding her head. Hop holds his breath, waiting for another response. "You should know I love you too, you dense playboy." She grins cheekily, sticking her tongue out briefly. Hop lets go of his breath, if only to laugh before pouting at the nickname. The laughter dies down as their eyes meet and stay there, Hop slowly letting one of his hands cup Bon's cheek. She leans into the touch, seemingly holding her breath as she does, and the two inch closer. And it's a painful amount of time before their lips finally meet, a soft and sweet kiss, leaving the taste of each other on the other's tongue. They pull away slowly, wishing they could stay like that for an eternity, before they let go of each other, and continuing to huddle close against the stone, watching the sky as Bonnie drifted off, and Hop didn't seem to mind.

"Hey, Bon?" Hop asks, again.

"Mh?" She hums, too tired to even open her eyes anymore.

"I like your singing.. you should do it more.." He blushes as he trails off, getting even quieter. She nods, and it's a few beats of silence before she starts humming. Bonnie hadn't sang to hop in a long time, not since they were camping together in the wild area. She had sang to him because as childish as it sounded, he had a nightmare about hurting someone he loved, and it freaked him out, and her singing helped him fall back asleep.

As they both drift off holding each other close, they found comfort in the other, and knew that this was where they would feel okay, and where they could always go for comfort. Into each other's arms.

[0156]

another vent.

my anxiety has been off the rails for such a long time, but now it's just getting worse. i've been trying my best to manage it, from assuring i'm taking my pills at the right time, to coping mechanisms, to breathing exercises, and nothing's working. i'm having near anxiety attacks at the tiniest of things and it's so fucking stupid. i don't know what to do.

a friend of mine slipped me into a group chat with some people i'm unfamiliar with. i would have deuced out by now, but they seem really cool. it's just, when i speak, i already feel like what i'm saying is just pointless or daft input, and, typically, no one really acknowledges it, so my brain takes that and runs with it. i have to sit there for an upwards of thirty minutes reminding myself, "hey, it's just a group chat with a fast pace. you barely even know these people."

then there's the entire thing with my sister. she's given me a panic attack in a couple of instances because of the way she reacts on her stress, which is typically through acts of aggression, and, even though her last (and worst i've seen thus far) episode was months ago, i'm still shaky around her. i was freaking out yesterday because she just, slammed a door. all she did was slam a door. that's it. and i still was on the verge of completely losing it.

also, now, i can't stay in any type of store for over fifteen minutes. i break into a cold sweat after five, dependent on how big the place is, and end up needing to go sit in the car until whoever i'm with is done shopping. it's just, so fucking stupid.

the store thing has been going on for a while. years now. i can't say i even recall when it first started. it was probably always with me to some degree, and i'm just sick of it. i'm so fucking sick of it. yeah, it's one of numerous things that bothers me, but it weighs down the heaviest. i get some sort of wave of anxiety, whether at a minuscule or hefty degree, practically every day. early last year, i'd say i was able to maintain it fairly well, even if the shit with going in stores was still going on, though at a lighter intensity. i just, i can't even maintain it anymore. it's like i unknowingly left some cracks in my protective wall, allowing the shit to seep through and throw a damn soiree. it's so fucking hard to tote around.

god, i can't even message a good bit of my friends anymore because of my anxiety. just certain wordings or times when just silence is given kills me.

this is, of course, just another block on the soon-to-topple jenga tower of bullshit. i'm thinking about checking myself into a mental hospital before "it topples". i don't want to end up doing something fucking stupid.

[sumis-sides]

Sumi: What was that thing where you get completely unmotivated and lose all passion for something after even the slightest bit of rejection that may only be in your head? Nerdy! I need you!

Maths Nerd: ...I can't remember. Or more specifically, you can't remember.

Sumi: I...why do you think I asked? Anyway- I have that. And it is seriously messing me up.

Patience: oh that's caused by Positivity bullying Self Worth in your case.

Sumi: Positivity doing what to Self Worth?

Patience: Yeahhh he's not exactly ideal to have in this scenario. In worst cases, Dysohoria pitches in.

Sumi: Oh god

Maths Nerd: For example, recall that one instance when you made a cool poem wheel and you got super excited about it?

Sumi: Yes?

Maths Nerd: All of your friends, poem support and even your father (whom you thought would share your enthusiasm) weren't as ecstatic and the day went like so:

{Enter flashback}

Sumi: I did it I did it I did it!!!

Positivity: You did it you did it you did it!! It's so cool!!

Sami: one of my best ideas yet!

Sumi: it bounces like jelly!!!

Positivity: oh my god did you just discover a new type of poem??

Self Worth, colours brightening: Woah did you? It looks like it!! I'm so proud of you!

Maths Nerd: Improbable. It is a simple trick, someone else is sure to have come up with something similar if not the same

Positivity: Stop ruining our dreams Four eyes! We've never seen it before so I guess it's our idea and we should patent it!

Sumi: Wooo! Let's show it to our friends!

Positivity: Yeah! I'm sure they'll love it too!

~~

Sumi, excitedly: Guys Guys Guys loook!! I made a wheel thingy!! And it has a poem on it! And it bounce like jelly and-

Friend 1: that looks cool. Awesome.

Friend 2: Yeah, ok, anyway-

Friend 3: Nice poem. So?

Sumi: oh... Nothing...

~~

Positivity, mood darkening: ...I...why...Ugh we must have bothered them. Self Worth how could you let Sumi think we were worth it?

Self Worth, colours darkening: I-Uhm-

Positivity: It was stupid. Of course no one cared about it, it's just some stupid sticky notes stuck together in a wheel. That's nothing special.

Self Worth, tearing up: w-what about that one teacher who loves our poems? He'd love it-

Positivity: he's been off work since September stupid! He's sick - what's he gonna do? Sneeze his approval?

Self Worth: What about Abu? He's a poet too! And he supports us a lot- I bet he'd get excited over it too!

Positivity: ...I guess you're right. Dad acts like a child sometimes. He'd share our excitement...I guess...

Sumi: But...is it really worth the time? What if I get another lackluster reaction? It didn't excite my friends...

Positivity: maybe we were just stupid for getting so excited at it. Self Worth how could you make Sumi so proud over it?? Look what it did! It just caused the fall!

Self Worth: I...I guess this is my fault isn't it... We really just aren't worth the time... Our ideas aren't that great after all...

~~

Sumi, half heartedly: Abu...look what I made!

Abu: oh. Cool. Did you start on your homework yet?

~~

Positivity: Self Worth, why did you get our hopes up. How could you give us false hope??

Sumi: I knew it, it's useless and no-one cares about it. What use was feeling proud and happy about it, it'll get destroyed in a week anyway...

Self Worth: I really am pathetic, letting you take all that straight to your pride... We really just don't have anything worth getting excited about when it's something that hasn't been done before...

{end flashback}

Maths Nerd: See? A good portion of that was those two in conflict. A good amount of passion for that poem was lost as a result

Patience: Me and Nerdy weren't able to get a word in, none of you would listen to any reason or sense.

Sumi: So...what should I do about it?

Maths Nerd: Believe in your capabilities and potentials - you're able to do great things Sumi.

Sumi: I...don't believe you. I need proof-

Self Worth: but you don't feel that way without constant validation from other people because you feel any validation from yourself is just lies you tell yourself to feel better. That's right isn't it?

Sumi: ...you know me too well

Positivity: Of course we do, we know you better then you do!

Self Worth: and you don't believe in yourself at all because I don't either. We both constantly wonder if the things we do everyday are good or bad.

Sumi: I worry everyday if I'm a good or bad person. If my ideas are creative or just mindless copies.

Positivity: and I share that worry of whether or not you're helping or harming others with every action.

Maths Nerd&Patience: Positivity you aren't helping either of them.

Patience: It's ok to feel like that but you need to give yourself more credit. Look at where you were before and where you are now!

Sumi: ...I kinda prefer the carefree happy go lucky version better sometimes...